The Gayest Olympics with Adam Rippon

Olympic phenom Adam Rippon is here to talk about the gayest Olympics, beefing with the Vice President, and the juiciest ice skating scandals of the 90s. Then: A lesbian throuple works through pangs of jealousy.  A dog mom is bereft when her pooch prefers its papa.  And an Ashley Madison hookup has overstayed its welcome.

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you well?

Speaker 2 (00:04):
It's Thursday, so you know what, Anne just chirping away.
My foot is healing from my foot surgery. My laser
is healing from my laser. Everything's healing. I'm healing. I'm
in my hyperbary chamber.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
I had my Mel Robbins podcast come out this week,
which was awesome. I was a guest on her podcast,
which was great. So I got so many beautiful dms
in my messages, which I always love, and about our
podcast as well.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm gearing up.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I have two shows in Westhampton September twenty first. It's
now sold out, so I have tickets for September twenty second,
So if you're in that area, come see me before
I go on my next big tour. What else is happening.
I had one of my Pupsi's visiting, Poopsie. Whoopsie was
visiting for two weeks. That basically drove me off a cliff.

(00:53):
Lots of lots of issues, lots of driving, lots of
chauffeur ring, lots of being a stepfather.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah exactly, So that was that. Well, you're looking fresh faced.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
I feel like you're relaxed because you've been like kind
of offer a little bit, so that's really nice.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
I have.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
I've been in LA for four straight weeks, which is
you know, not something that is yes, And my new
move and date to my house, everybody pay attention is
August twenty second.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Let's see if this happens. Let's see.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
All right, I'm putting money on it this time. That
might be a foolish decision, but I'm going to.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Okay, Well, thank you. I appreciate that. And we have
some exciting guests coming up in the next few weeks,
so I've been reading lots of books to prepare. Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Our guest today, though, is an Olympic medalist in figure skating.
Figure skating is one of my favorite pastimes, as we
all know, because of my coordination.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
So our guest Today's Olympic medal is in figure skating.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
He's an author, actor in TV personality and host of
the podcast Intrusive Thoughts with Adam Rapon.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Please welcome Adam Rapon.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Okay, shall we close the door and begin great, I'd
like to I'm chewing on food.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
We haven't done that yet, not today.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
We have a very special guest here today, and I
who's someone I'm meeting for the very first time. I
just want to go over a list a little bit
some of your accomplishments. Okay, before I introduce you, Ada's
Rippon Okay, twenty eighteen Olympic bronze medalist in figure skating.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Okay, this is a team event.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
He was the first openly gay man to make a
US Winter Olympics team and to win a medal, and
he won Dancing with the Stars Season twenty six in
twenty eighteen. You're one of Time magazine's most one hundred
most influential people of twenty eighteen, and your profile was
written by Cher. That's fucking cool. He is a vocal
advocate for LGBTQ plus rights, including opposing Mike Pence leading

(02:44):
the twenty eighteen Winter Olympics delegation That's another highlight campaign
for Elizabeth Warren in twenty twenty two, and has been
critical of the International Olympics Committee selection of host cities
that have human rights violations. Okay, first question, which do
you think is gay the Winter or Summer Olympics.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think this summer.

Speaker 5 (03:05):
Wish they were the gayer one, but I definitely think
it's the Winter one.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
I think you're right, I think the winter is gays. Dude,
Now tell me why do you say that.

Speaker 5 (03:13):
I think like inherently you're thinking like summer games naked gay,
But when you really think about it, winter you always
have to buy some sort of costume, right, whether it's
like some sort of ski gear costume or whatever. And
all of the winter sports are like most of them
are like you have to go to the chalet.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Also there's ice.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
There's also there's a figure skating and ice dancing basically
are happening, and that takes the cake. So whatever's happening
in the summertime would have to quadruple down on its
gayness to overtake that, you know what I mean, because
that's like having a bullet ball and wiping out nine
pins already. With ice dancing and figure skating, yeah, I mean,
I'm saying them like they're two different things. But ice

(03:58):
dancing is a part of figure skating kind of right, yes, yeah,
oh yeah, I don't want to I don't want to denude.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Figure skating or diminish figure skating, no d thing.

Speaker 5 (04:07):
And I'm sure the whole figure skating community now is
grateful that you don't want to denude them.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
I don't want to denude them like a plant.

Speaker 5 (04:14):
No.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
I also want to say that Adam was so nice
that he.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Brought it not only donuts from Sidecar Donuts, he brought
in gluten free donuts for us. I'm not even a
donut person, and I've already down to half a one,
a gluten free one.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
They're amazing. I don't have a problem with gluten. I
don't know what's going on. I'm having donuts and gluten
free donuts. It's like a fucking double whoopsie doodle.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
And you brought me a condom from the Olympics. Yes, wow,
I love that you think I used condoms.

Speaker 5 (04:36):
No, I didn't think that you did. I thought that
you'd want that condom. Freight the Olympics as like a momento.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
How much sex is happening in Olympic village at the Olympics.

Speaker 5 (04:45):
Okay, So I think in the summer there is probably
a lot more happening. Like it's like I said, hotter
there there's more likenedity.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
I'm going to disagree with you because of the climate.
When it's cold you need someone to snuggle with. There's
more of an impetus for it. To take a lover
in this summertime, it's like, fucking, we're hot, we're outside,
there's men and women everywhere.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Why choose one.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
In the winter, I want to hunker That's what I
want to hunker down with, like a mountain man.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Uh huh.

Speaker 5 (05:11):
I don't know if people when they go to the
Olympics are like concerned about hunkering down, But if they were,
I do think that your theory would kind of pan out.
But when you're at the Olympics, so like now, because
there have been Olympic villages in the past that have
like completely like people went in, they left, and then
it's like turned to rubble. And so now when the

(05:31):
cities like present a plan, they need to show like
what will the village become. So at the Olympics that
I went to in Korea, it was all of these
like condo buildings that had already been like bought. So
I shared like a three bedroom condo with like five people.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
So how does that work with five people? Are you
sharing beds with people? You were sharing rooms? So like
two in fash room.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Awful, But I guess that's part for the course, right
with the Olympics.

Speaker 5 (05:58):
Yeah, Well, and so they and then like everything's covered
in plastic too, like no, like because it was somebody
had already bought it, like that was the plan, Like
this was going to be something.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
And is there what city?

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Like Okay, Salt Lake City and like say Whistler, Canada.
Those were two great spots for the Olympics, right A
Rio fucked it up big time, didn't they?

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (06:18):
I think I mean it was weren't they swimming and
sewage and like that.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah, that was Paris too.

Speaker 5 (06:25):
There's a lot of sewage related summer incidents, I think.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, a lot of sewage related swimming. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
Now you've had a lot of success since the Olympics,
and I think that there is a definite correlation or
tell me if you think there is a correlation between
being a figure skater and then being able to transition
from that, because there's a lot of athletes that have
trouble transitioning from their sport into the entertainment industry. But
I feel like figure skaters, specifically gay male figure skaters,

(06:54):
have an advantage.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
It's almost like you the world is your oyster when
you come out of that. Do you agree with that?

Speaker 5 (07:00):
I think like in the figure skating world, especially like
if you're like a gay guy, when you're in there,
there's a lot of like internalized homophobia within the sport.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
And it's gotten like so much better.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
But when I was like younger, it was like you
just didn't want to be that because it was everything.
Like every like father I say, like in quotes, would
fear that their son would go in and they'd like
turn gay, which is but do you?

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yeah, but don't you become gay before you become a
male figure skater.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
I understand that not every male figure skater is gay.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
I understand, yes, but you don't become gay by doing
a sport, just like you don't become trans by hanging
out with someone who is trans.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
No, so what comes first? The chicken or gay is gay?
Or the ice gate the gay? The gay? Yeah, because
you don't become gay.

Speaker 5 (07:46):
I was like, because gay, Yes, I was already become right.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (07:51):
So I think like being an athlete sets you up
to I think have like a work ethic that not
a lot of people do have. I think like maybe
ninety percent of the people that I've met I think
are so lazy.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
But I like what you're saying because You're right, there's
a level of professionalism that if you're going to devote
yourself to a sport at that level, you're going to
be able to succeed at other things. Which is interesting
because you know, I just watched that video of Mary
lou rettin getting a dui, you know, and like her
sobriety walk, and I was just like, what happens to
some of these athletes that aren't able to parlay it

(08:28):
into I mean, and we know what happens that happens,
you know what I mean that aren't able to parlay
it because you are giving You're gifted with the first
batch of ingredients that is required to make a successful person,
which is work ethic.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah right.

Speaker 5 (08:42):
I think like I was very good, but I wasn't
like the best, and I think people who were the best,
it's very hard for them to pivot into something else
because I've felt that, like, Okay, I'm starting like at
zero now having to work my way up, and I
know how much time and energy it took to be

(09:03):
very good at what I did in my last career,
and I think some people are intimidated by that, like workload.
But I told you before we recorded the podcast that
I had just read your book, and I feel like
I really see eye to eye with you in the
way that well, one, we're both one of six kids.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
What number are you one? Oh? Ay, exactly, Well we're booked,
we bookend. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (09:26):
But I think that, like, uh, when I was reading
your book, that you put yourself in so many like
independent situations of like you know, moving across country when
you were really young and not as a typical like oldest.
My mom was really willing, like when I was training,
to put me in like situations that like now, I'm like,
those were dangerous, but they helped me grow up really quickly, right,

(09:51):
And I think that that also helped me because I
wasn't afraid because my mom didn't seem afraid putting me
in those situations, even though she must have been.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
But or maybe she wasn't.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Maybe she wasn't thinking like that, and maybe she was thinking,
that's the necessary step in order for you to achieve
your goals is to be put in those situations, like
it's a means for you to get seen by the
right people or the training. I mean, what kind of
situations are you talking about? I mean it was all
related to ice skating right.

Speaker 5 (10:17):
Like, you know, when I was like young, like twelve thirteen,
I was like always taking the Greyhound bus from Scranton
into like Philadelphia, like every Monday, Philly back to Scranton
Friday night. And I think like just being a young
person and having that level of like responsibility and just
like if you didn't know, you asked questions, and that

(10:40):
helped me, especially like pivoting into like an entertainment career
where it's like I don't know a lot of stuff,
and so I've had to ask a lot of questions.
But I'm not embarrassed to not know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
Your podcast, The run Through, you talk a lot about
the world of figure skating. What you think are the
biggest like dramas that are going on in sports right now,
whether it's figure skipping, well, in your sport, let's start
with your sport.

Speaker 5 (11:08):
Well, you know what I think like a big thing
that's like happening now, is that, especially after like the
big like gymnastics scandal of like with Larry Nassar and
the abuse that was going on in there, that there's
like a reckoning of things that we thought were normal
and the way that like we were treated when we
were younger. It's like a real balance of like you

(11:29):
don't need to do these like destructive things to kids
to make them be performsful, right, And you know that's
like more on like a serious note, but on the
run through, Like it's the off season right now, so
we're going through different like lore things that have happened
in skating that are like amazing and like very entertaining.

(11:50):
And there's the story of this like ice dance team.
It's like in the nineties, like this is the real
golden age of like amazing, incredible drama. So it's like
the nineties Soviet Union. Yeah, oh done right, it's gone.
So where the natural place to go is, obviously, say
it together, Lake Placid. So there's a big fleet of

(12:12):
Russians that go to Lake Placid, fleet of Russians and
so it's like this whole like dance camp. So there's
this one couple and they're like the most you have
a question.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
I was just gonna I was wondering why Russians are
so good at ice skating, and then I just realized
that they live in the tundra.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
Right, I mean, that's why there's nothing.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
Else going on but skating, and and if you want
to get out of there, you better skate your ass off, right.
That's how you're going to get out of Russia exactly
is by ice skating, right, But actually not necessarily because
a lot of those Russians, you know, whenever I watch
the Olympics, this is this is how I feel like
everyone's always.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Rooting for their own country.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
I'm always rooting for the Chines, Russians, and the Russian
I am because I know if that they don't, if
they don't fucking win, they're going to get their ass
handed to them when they get back. I know that
Chinese people and and Chinese coaches and the Russian I've
got to be the worst coaches and then and then
they have to take the shit from their country too.
And their whole culture is not supportive of what we're
talking about in modernizing athletics, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (13:10):
Yeah, sport, they're not.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
There yet, and they're probably not going to get there
while we're still alive.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
No, I would say that, like definitely, like culturally at least,
I don't. I can't speak for the Chinese, but they can't.
I can't. No, I actually can't legally I can. I've
been asked not to. But the Russians I can definitely
say that, like are like twenty years behind behind.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
That's it, only twenty years, I would say, only twenty Yeah, twenty.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
Okay, great, that's good to know. That's not as dark
as I would think. I would think it's more like
forty five.

Speaker 5 (13:43):
I would say, probably in the last like because of
like what's going on over there now, they've probably fallen
back and they're like five or ten because there's still
like some coaches, like, you know, flirting with their fourteen
year old students.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Right, and of course Celine Dion's always going to happen,
you know, of course. So you go to back to
Lake Placid.

Speaker 5 (14:01):
Yes, okay, So there's two couples there, right, There's one
that's like a favorite for gold, and then there's another
one who's like younger.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (14:09):
So the one the favorite for gold married okay, married
young how young?

Speaker 2 (14:15):
Twenties nineteen twenties, early twenties.

Speaker 5 (14:18):
The other couple they're not together, okay, But the female
from this couple starts to have an affair with the
man from the married couple.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Oh okayle situation no, oh.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
Like she doesn't know. He's like going behind her back.
In Lake Placid, there's nothing else to do there. Skate train, affair.
Those are the only three things you can do in
Lake Placid. You could fuck the lake. It's zen, I
mean that would be fun. Cdrilla Hall through the lake
and fuck it. Yes, four things you can do in
like fuck the lake and the first three. So they're

(14:52):
in this affair and the number one couple.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
She doesn't know that it's happening.

Speaker 5 (14:57):
So they go to the Olympics together and for good luck,
the man who's having the affair gives his affair partner
his girlfriend his wedding ring for good luck, which she
wears on a necklace through the first two segments of
the entire competition.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
So then she finds out. The wife finds out, and
she's like right.

Speaker 5 (15:21):
Because she's like, aha, has the ring like dangling, like
knocking the collar bones. So she finds out, she you know,
gives the ring back like whatever. So she's just hoping,
like the affair stops. Then they go on tour and
she's hoping it's not happening. They're all on the same tour.
The affair is like very in her face at this point.

(15:41):
And so while they're on tour, they're in Los Angeles
and they go to Spago and at Spago she sees
the number one team. She sees her husband at the
bar at Spago with her name is Oxana.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
Of course there's only two yes and those she chose
the h three yeah, and fuck the lake.

Speaker 5 (16:02):
Those are the four things. So she's at the bar.
So the wife goes over and she takes the back
of her head and she's max it onto the bar.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay, she should have done that on the frozen lake.
First of all, she should have done that at the Olympics.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
She should have done that on Lake Blas said when
she had the first opportunity. But okay, fine, she didn't
know what she knows now exactly.

Speaker 5 (16:26):
Now she knows the addressed to Spago, and she knows
that they're having an affair in public. So this is
like the nineties, but this was like they covered this
like on TV and so like this was like amazing,
Like these were the pieces that.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
We were watching when you're watching the Olympics.

Speaker 5 (16:41):
So this is like the Golden Age and this Oxana
is like she eventually, so there's another Oxana in nineteen
ninety four Bayoul.

Speaker 6 (16:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (16:50):
Yeah, so like two three years after she wins gold,
she gets a duy Akxana Bayola. Yes, and this other
Oxana her name's Oxana Grieshook. She's won the Olympics in
ninety four and she's still skating. So she's like has
more titles in ice dance, right, this this same Axana
who had her head smashed at Spago.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Okay, so she's not with the guy anymore though, No,
she's do over him.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
She's moved on.

Speaker 5 (17:14):
Yes, she's moved on because the wife called her and said.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Hey, get the fuck away from my husband.

Speaker 5 (17:20):
No, he's having an affair on you with some other
younger girl at the rink.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
And her name is also Oksana Tatiyanakana, Olgana Olga and yes,
okay for Russian female names.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yes, the only four.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
So she's like, okay, that's fucked up, and she now
is like successful. I told you about this other Oxana
that's you know, Oxana Bayoul do u I okay? So
this Oxana Grishuk, the ice dancer. She wants to go
into Hollywood and you know she's from the Soviet Union.

(18:00):
She's in like Placid. I think she's watching a lot
of MTV haircut, bleach, blonde, Bindi. She looks like when
Sefani lots of MTV going on, okay, and she wants.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
To be like a Hollywood star.

Speaker 5 (18:14):
But she's upset because you know there's she's Oxana, but
everyone's getting her confused with the other.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
He's already who's a success and has notoriety in a
different way now too, Yes and thunder so to speak.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (18:29):
So she gives this interview where and like I said,
this is the golden age of figure skating drama. So
she gives this interview and she's like, I've legally changed
my name to Pasha because my name should be reflective
of who I am, and I don't want to be
confused with Oxana Bayule because she's a fat hasband and

(18:52):
a criminal.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Well does it get any better? No?

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Well, and we have a sixth name too, Pasha Pasha.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
So is Aksana Bayul a criminal?

Speaker 5 (19:05):
Well no, but she just called her a criminal, yeah,
because she had a dui.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
But that's not a criminal. If your name, I mean,
if you've been arrested. A criminal is somebody who like
that's not a it's it's a crime. But would you
call someone who gets a DUI a criminal?

Speaker 6 (19:18):
No?

Speaker 2 (19:19):
I mean, I guess, I think.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
I mean, of course I get it, I get it,
but I just want to make sure, like I've had
a DUI?

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Am I a criminal? No? I think it's been You're
not attacks like.

Speaker 5 (19:31):
That was another key that we all will be right.
But she wasn't even there yet, like the metals still warm, right,
you know, because it's just been a few years. If
that has been, I mean, that's really the mud slinging.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Was they don't do that anymore. That sounds glorious.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
It was What about Share writing your profile for your
time one hundred most influential?

Speaker 2 (19:51):
How did that happen? Did you be Chair? Have you
met Shair? I have met Chair.

Speaker 5 (19:55):
I had no idea I was going to be on
that one hundred most Influential People of twenty eighteen and
I found out and then I found out that Share
had written my write up.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
When I got the magazine.

Speaker 5 (20:11):
I had no idea, and I obviously, like, you read
it and you're like, this can't be like the Share
And it was the Share.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
That's weird because I was on that list once and
I could have sworn they asked me who I wanted
to write mine?

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, but you're like famous. Oh you think they tell
some of the people and not the rest of the people.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
Right, But I mean to get Share to write it,
that means somebody had to go out on your behalf
and ask Share to write it. And she would have
had to have been a fan. Why she's just going
to write a random letter for somebody she doesn't know.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
I mean, you have a point. What was it like
when you met Share?

Speaker 3 (20:41):
Because I've met Share before and I felt like I
was dealing with a non real person.

Speaker 5 (20:46):
I felt like I was like Madame Tusson's like come alive.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, it was like night at the Museum.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
I didn't want to take any more steps closer because
I didn't know where it began and where it's like, Yeah,
I was like the hair and the face it was
she was we were in Vegas.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
It was bad stage up after her show in Vegas.

Speaker 3 (21:01):
This was so many years ago, and I remember just
looking at her and thinking is it okay?

Speaker 2 (21:07):
Like is she okay? Is it okay?

Speaker 7 (21:09):
Where is it? Like?

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Does it? Do I touch her?

Speaker 5 (21:12):
It's very like it's abba hologram, because like a hologram
in person, she looks like a hologram.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yes, And so somebody was like rushing.

Speaker 5 (21:20):
They're like, you have to meet Share, and so like
they bring me over to her and she's like, you know,
it's it was the premiere of like the Share show,
like the Broadway play, and I'm like, hi, Share and
there and she's like hello, like you know, she's one
of the animatronics from like Chuck E Cheese, just like
waving and then like I hear somebody whisper scream in

(21:40):
her ear and they're like, it's the skater you wrote
the piece about him, and she like lights up, and
so I gave her a hug. And when I gave
her a hug, I've never felt anybody so corseted, so tight, so.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
Wound up like a geisha like wound. Yes, I felt
like one loose thread. Share would have been all on.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
The floor, like they'na say you felt the missing ribs
or something.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
I couldn't feel. She was hard to the touch, but
she was very nice.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
Yeah, I can imagine that that would be something you
have to wrap like a doll and then you put
shoes on it and you're like take one foot forward,
one step forward, because when you see her dancing, like
just as recently as this last in the last few months,
she was at some event and I was like, wow,
Shares on stage wearing pantyhose and moving. I mean, you know,
she's not doing triple soucals or anything, but she was

(22:28):
fucking moving.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
Yeah. And I'm like, I mean, she's moving more than
I can move.

Speaker 5 (22:32):
Right in this case, she's like getting fully decked the
thing and she and.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
She's getting fucked or plucked, I should say, because.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
She's got that young boyfriend who's like thirty years old
having a great time.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Let me ask you a question about when you came
out before, because you came out.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
Is it twenty sixteen, twenty eighteen? You came out twenty
sixteen and then twenty eighteen were the Olympics.

Speaker 5 (22:50):
Yes, So I actually I have a friend, her name's
Ashley Wagner, and in like twenty fourteen, she was going
to the Olympics in twenty fourteen, and they asked her
and she was like very outspoken about how she didn't
think Russia had come out with this like anti gaye
propagandla and it's twenty fourteen. A lot has happened in
the like last like eleven years of people speaking up

(23:12):
and they ask every athlete about you know, what do
they think about it? And everyone's like, well, you know,
I'm not from there. Who am I to knock their
traditions and whatever. And my friend Ashley was like super
out spoken. She was like, it's fucked up. And I remember,
like I had just come out of like the closet
myself like a few years earlier, and I wasn't out

(23:32):
like publicly or anything like that, and I was asked
about it, and I kind of skirted around the question,
and then eventually I didn't make that Olympic team, and
I in the years leading up to the twenty eighteen
Olympics was like, Okay, if I'm going to skate for
more years, I'm going to do everything that I wish
that I had done before. And I really regretted not

(23:53):
saying anything. And so in twenty fifteen I decided to
like come out publicly. You know, I have not an
Olympian or like a national champion yet at all, like
so nobody really cared. So it's like, okay, we know,
like nobody cared. It was for me like personally, and
so when I had already been out for like a
few publicly for a few years, and then when I

(24:14):
had made the Olympic team in twenty eighteen, that's when
I found out. It was like, oh, you're the first
openly gay American athlete.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
So you didn't do it with the intention of being
the first openly gay no male figures.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
Possible that that would be the twenty eight Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yeah. Also like my question because I think it's I
feel as a public figure that it is so important
and this is people disagree with me all the time
on it, but it's so important to be honest about
who you are because you don't understand how many people
you're helping. And that's not necessarily anyone's burden to carry,
Like you don't have to be a public person. And
then all of a sudden, like, yes, I have to

(24:52):
come out with every secret. But it's like if you're
if somebody, if you're part of a marginalized community and
you have a huge platform, it's kind of like, I
feel a personal responsibility to make sure that you are
loud and outspoken about it for everybody coming after you.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
How do you feel about that?

Speaker 5 (25:08):
I feel that like well, as an athlete and when
you go to the Olympics, it's like your time to
share your story and who you are, and sometimes you
just have a few minutes to do that during your performance,
during your interviews. And if I wanted to like perform
and I wanted people to connect with me, I it
was incredibly important that they knew who I was and
what I stood for and what was important to me.

(25:31):
And one of those cases was, like, you know, when
you're getting ready for the Olympics, there's this talk of
like enjoy the experience as much as possible, and for me,
I sat down and I thought, like, what does that
even mean? And it meant that, like, listen, I'm going
to go I'm going to skate great, I'm going to
do everything I can to be in the best shape
of my life. But I also want to enjoy myself

(25:52):
and I love the entertainment stuff, like I love connecting
with people, I love talking with people, I love making
people laugh. And so that means that I'm going to
go into and every interview and I'm going to act
like they're my best friend, and I'm going to answer
questions super honestly like I would if we were like
at dinner and I got asked this one question of

(26:13):
like what do you think of Mike Pence leading the
athlete delegation? And I remember like giving that interview in
my car at the rink, which is like in a
strip mall. So it's like I'm sitting in my car
at the Taco Bell light from like it's like pouring.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
I look beautiful, by the way, It's just like gorgeous.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
Beautiful right now, by the way. Yeah, your skin is
what is the word for that? Alabaster? Yeah, alabaster.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
That is absolutely my like golf, Yes, of course it is. Well,
you're reaching it. I mean you're ascending. Thank you. Wow,
I'm off track now, I know, but try and stay focused, okay,
Taco Bell. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (26:48):
And I remember I was asked this question, and I
remember thinking in that moment it was like just answer
it honestly. And I answered it and was like, I
don't think that he like stay ends up for like
every athlete. I don't think he should be leading the
athlete delegation. Somebody who was like a proponent of conversion
therapy doesn't represent me. Somebody who thinks that I'm mentally

(27:12):
unwell does not represent who I am. And I said it,
and it was just like okay, great, like we move
in and like how are you feeling? Like is the
next question? And then like a few days later it
was like okay, That's when I really felt like the
momentum of like what I had said, because I was
just like some nobody was not favorite for.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Gold or whatever.

Speaker 5 (27:31):
It's this old gay guy going to like the Olympics
for the first time.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
Who cares?

Speaker 5 (27:36):
And I remember, like I was, you know, we have
all of our music like downloaded or for our programs
on our phones, so like I would always put my
phone on airplane mode when I was training so I
could play my music and my mom wouldn't be like
calling me in the middle of like wop yeah exactly
exactly my famous routine just walked up. Yes, And so
I turned my phone back on and I have like

(27:56):
thirty missed calls, and I'm like, what's going on? So
I find out I call my agent at the time,
and he's like the Office of the Vice President wants
to like they want to set up a meeting, and
I'm like for what, And so you know, I've.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
Got a tutorial right to send me to camp? Yeah,
and so to.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Take him to camp with you because I believe he's
gay too.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
I think he has a tendency. Can't be that homophobic
unless you're gay, it doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 3 (28:26):
No, it's always the case. Yeah, I mean, I'm just
dating always. I'm platitudinizing right now. It's always the case.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
It's always the case.

Speaker 5 (28:33):
So I was dealing with like the communications person at
US Figure Skating as well, because they went to like
the Olympic Committee who forwarded them to US Figure Skating,
like our governing body. And she was this lesbian woman, Barb, obviously,
and she's like.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
So, kid, what are you going to do?

Speaker 5 (28:52):
And I said, Barb, tell Mike Pens to fuck himself,
like I'm not gonna do this meeting, like I have
to practice. And she's like, I'm not going to say
it in those terms, but I love you. Hung up
And so then that was that until I got to
the Olympics, where like it had leaked that they had
reached out and they tried to set up this meeting

(29:14):
and I denied it, and then it became like a
much bigger story once I had gotten there.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yeah, so then and did so you never ever had
any interaction with him no, and I never will God willing.
Oh not.

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Well, he seems to be in the background right now.
I'm surprised they haven't arrested him yet. It's shocking, isn't it.
Actually it is shocking. Are you ready to take some callers.
We're going to take a break and we're going to
be right back with Adam Rippen. And then we're going
to take some callers and we're back with Adam Rippin. Adam,
you're so delightful.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
I'm going to just double check pronunciation for your last name.
As long as you say Adam Rippon, Rippin, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
Yes, we're going to take a break and we'll be
right back with Adam Rippan.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
And we're back with Adam Rippan.

Speaker 5 (29:59):
You have to say your name right, it doesn't I
feel like that part doesn't.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
I'm not a bunch of different Yeah, Adam Rippon is
your name? Okay? Okay, thank you. Don't suck it up again.
I won't. Yeah, okay, So.

Speaker 5 (30:10):
Don't doesn't that make you wish that like I had
a name that was like simpler. No, I don't feel
any like connection to Ripon or rip In. Yeah, I
feel like handler is so like rolls right off.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
The hand hand handler or hand job. Yeah, I wouldn't
mind hand jobs.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
You don't ever have to go handler like sometimes I
have to enunciate handler really yeah, I think is I
have a problem with d's and L handler?

Speaker 7 (30:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (30:36):
I guess you're right because handler handler sounds like you're
missing with the D handler.

Speaker 5 (30:40):
Because I feel like if I saw rippon, i'd say
rip in like it's not I'm not saying like baton
for like button right.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Like a aren't you saying baton? I am never mind
red handed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
Well, our first callers today are Jackie and Hope.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
Actually we need these on. Is it Jackie or Hope?
I mean's fun you'll see why.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
So Jackie is the one who wrote in and said,
Dear Chelsea, My wife and I have been married for
almost eleven years together for thirteen. Several months ago, my
wife had a coworker who was very forthcoming in her attraction.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
To both of us.

Speaker 7 (31:16):
It definitely threw.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
Us for a loop, considering that we've never considered ourselves
the polytype or open to other partners.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
But we opened ourselves up to the idea.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Things got a little weird and we decided to take
some space and not talk. Fast forward six months later
and we found ourselves all at better places in our lives,
so we felt we could revisit the conversation. At first,
we thought we'd just have some fun times in the
bedroom and just be friends aside from that, but we
quickly realized that we really liked her and started forming
more of an emotional connection as well as a physical one.

(31:44):
My wife is more used to sharing me, considering that
when we started dating, I was a divorcee with three kids,
and I was also dating another girl who was in
a polyamorous marriage. Me, on the other hand, I've always
had her all to myself and all of her attention,
so as we move forward, I can tell that she
isn't experience and seeing the same insecurities that I am.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
I also really like this girl.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
We connect on so many levels, and I feel myself
missing her and wanting to spend more time together. But
I also catch myself feeling a little jealous at times
of their relationship. For the most part, we've spent most
of our time together as a threesome, but it's the
moments when they see each other or talk when I'm
not around that I worry they'll form a stronger bond
than my wife and I. I find myself getting annoyed
with myself for not being able to just be as
fluid as they are. And they're both doing everything right,

(32:25):
saying the right things, showing the right amount of affection,
and I really love the situation for the most part.
It has absolutely enhanced our marriage with all of the
communication and transparency required to even make such a scenario work.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
So why am I still.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Having these feelings from time to time? I can imagine
having this beautiful relationship together as a threaple, and I
really want it all to work out, So any advice
to get me out of my head and out of
my own way would be amazing. Sincerely, CHECKI, Hi, Checky, Jackie, Jackie.

Speaker 3 (32:53):
And Hope.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
Check Republic. I just have to say this about throubles.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
If you up for this situation and most of this
I mean, first of all, you have to be okay
with every aspect. I know that doesn't make it okay,
but you have to have a conversation with yourself every
time these feelings come up that you just said yourself
in the letter that the good outweighs the bad, and
it's just your insecurity, So for in order for you
to say yes to this situation, it's almost like there's

(33:21):
not really room for your insecurity because you can't extinguish
your insecurity, but you can constantly just remind yourself that
these are thoughts in your head.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
You have an understanding.

Speaker 3 (33:31):
You guys have an open understanding and arrangement, and it's
almost like being with somebody and expecting them to cheat
on you every single time you're not with them.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
What's the point of that.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
You've already said yes to this situation, so you really
have to kind of go at it with open arms
and hope and assume that the best is yet to come,
and assume the best everyone has their best intentions because
coming from a place of self doubt or being non trustworthy,
and it's all self doubt.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
It's from what I can gather from you.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Letter isn't moving anyone in any direction, but just like
leaving you feeling not great about everything.

Speaker 8 (34:06):
Yeah, I think that as each day gets easier, so
that's a plus. And I think in the beginning it
was more the fact that they had a prior work
relationship that I felt like, oh, they know each other
already a little bit better and so like not sure
if I was gonna get on that same level. But
like with time, you know, we are finding that we
have a lot more stuff in common. So like that

(34:26):
has been helpful.

Speaker 3 (34:27):
But but it's also you have to like have a
lot of respect for yourself in the fact that you
are unique and what you have to offer, nobody else
has to offer, no matter what the dynamic, no matter
if they spend more time together than you do.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
She doesn't have what you have.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
She is a completely different person and offers a completely
different set of excitement than you do. It's not one
is more than the other, it's one is different.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
Than the other.

Speaker 7 (34:51):
So that's what she tells me.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
So like you have to really.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
Work on your self love and your self respect because
that's what it's all about. It's about no knowing that
you have high value and that you're giving high value,
and that you're not competing with anybody in the situation.

Speaker 8 (35:06):
Yeah, no, I definitely don't think it feels like a competition.
I think it's feels or was feeling a little bit
more like fomo. I guess in a way like right,
what am I missing? Or which is also stupid, like
fomo is stupid. I you know, what do you think, Adam?

Speaker 5 (35:20):
I mean, I think that like in this situation, when
you're feeling these like different doubts and insecurities, maybe you
never wrapped your head around a polyamorous relationship before and
so it's it's new to you. And I think that
like one thing that you know, when we have these insecurities,
sometimes like the scariest thing is just saying them out loud.
So I feel like to keep everything like out in

(35:42):
the open so that you're not holding onto anything just
thinking like, oh, just it's stupid that I'm thinking that.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
Just say the stupid thing and get it now.

Speaker 7 (35:49):
And I have been.

Speaker 8 (35:49):
I've been very vocal with like, you know, just so
you know, because I think it does help to put
that out there. I have actually had open relationships with
every partner I've been with, but it's different this time because,
like you know, we've been together longer than any other
relationship I've had, and it was I think it's just
a little scarier opening up our marriage because like it's
on a different level than any other relationship.

Speaker 7 (36:09):
So I have hopes that everything is gonna work out.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
Yeah, I think just like that constant check in with
like all partners, just to make sure everybody's always, like
constantly on the same page, because I think some of
that fear is that maybe there is a miscommunication or
maybe somebody's feeling something that somebody's not. And I think
that like just a constant check in between the three.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
Of you, but a regular it's like a schedule check in,
not a constant check in, because I feel like it's
not every time something comes up for you, because you
have to figure out a way to self soothe. Also,
you have to understand that the voices in your head
sometimes are just silly.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Then that's all they are.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
There's a difference between like, you know, being impulsive and
being instinctual. Just because you feel left out, then you're like,
you don't have to react to that. Then you could go, oh, yeah,
you know why I feel left out. This has happened
before when they're together.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
This is just me.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
This is like the negative narrative I have in my head.
That's not happening. I'm safe, I'm in a healthy, loving relationship.
Everything's out on the table. And then you talk yourself
out of it most times and you're fine if you
really have a ghet or of feeling and you're like
something's off, then that's a different situation. But what I
suspect and what I'm hearing is that you just have
you know, this kind of negative self not self talk,

(37:19):
but this kind of negative idea of what's happening without you,
that you're missing out, And I think you can talk
yourself out of that, like you can counsel yourself to
make that going. Oh, this is what happens when they
go away. Okay, this is what happens when they're on
a date. Oh, I'm doing my thing, Okay, I'm going.

Speaker 8 (37:35):
To be You're not doing any of that separately. We
have agreed that, like we're the our dynamic. What we
want is like the attraction is it's like the three
of us. So it's a little bit more unique and
where like we don't have intentions of dating separately apart
from like each other whatever. But there are moments where
like there might be a work thing that they might
have to discuss or like you know, she and I

(37:55):
go do something together. But when we have those moments
one on one, it's more of like a platonic friendly nature.
We're not like doing anything physical or whatever. Unless we're
all together. And I think that makes everybody feel more
comfortable because that was the attraction on her part, was
like us together. It wasn't like oh I have the
hots for you or I have the hots for your wife.
It was like you guys are you know? So just
kind of like went here WiFi. Do you have anything

(38:17):
to say for yourself? You've been very quiet.

Speaker 7 (38:19):
I usually always am. They don't let me get a
word in.

Speaker 6 (38:23):
So that's kind of been my biggest hurdle is I
now have two of these and they gang up holding them.

Speaker 7 (38:32):
I you know, I mean I'm at max capacity right now.
Let's just say it.

Speaker 6 (38:36):
But yeah, Like I was used to sharing her and
sharing partners beforehand, so I think like just seeing them
bond has been great. Like I get a sense of
happiness when I see them being happy or just connecting,
because I feel like that's that's the biggest thing that
draws me to this, is it's a bonus. I don't
look at it as like breaking down the pie and

(38:58):
like we're getting less of each other. It's just more
yeah mm hmmm, yeah, Yeah, I mean I'm taking it
a day at a time. That's all I can say. Yeah,
I didn't even know about.

Speaker 7 (39:08):
This whole call in thing. She forwarded me an email.

Speaker 6 (39:11):
She told me what she did, and I was like,
I would like to sit on this, even though I'm
mostly here for technical support, but i'm usually a few
a few words. They don't let me get any any
words in other words, Okay, Well, you.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
Guys seem like you all respect each other and love
each other, so I think everything's going to be fine.
I think you just have to get those little voices
out of your head, and you do that by exercising
your self soothing your self love and your self respect.
There's nothing, there's nothing to see. It's kind of like
there's nothing to see here.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Yeah, like even body language together, and like the way
you're both looking at each other when the other like
you guys have something really special.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
So I don't think there's a.

Speaker 8 (39:50):
Lot that's I think that betther part of it too,
for me was that like I have done this before
with other, you know, relationships, and it came so easy
to me, and it's like this time, it's like I
think it's because it felt like there's so much more
at stake and so much more to lose.

Speaker 7 (40:04):
She'll share this and you're hard to show. I mean,
I got a real, real prize on my hands here,
but so yeah, that's part of it.

Speaker 8 (40:12):
It's like, am I an idiot for doing this because
like they have so much more to lose, like you know,
but I'm like no, because I don't know.

Speaker 7 (40:20):
I'm trying to just be organic with it.

Speaker 8 (40:21):
It's like an opportunity presented itself, and I feel like
we owe it to ourselves to explore it. That's kind
of where we're at with the thing, because we think
they're looking for it by any by any means.

Speaker 5 (40:31):
So yeah, I think you do owe it to yourselves
and just enjoy it, you know, experience.

Speaker 8 (40:37):
We're recent empty nesters, so it's just like the timing
and all of it just seems like what are we
Why should we not see what happens?

Speaker 7 (40:44):
Why not? Yea, so well?

Speaker 2 (40:46):
Will you check in with us in a few months?

Speaker 7 (40:48):
Absolutely, it was good to do that.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yeah, don't care from you again?

Speaker 3 (40:52):
Love it Okay, Bye, ladies, Nice to you so much.

Speaker 7 (40:55):
Nice to meet you.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
Bye another happy throat wile served. Have you ever been
part of the threat ball?

Speaker 6 (41:01):
No?

Speaker 2 (41:02):
Do you have friends who are Yeah? I think so.
Are you in a relationship yeah, I'm married. Oh oh god,
how's that going? Good? Do you have chick kids?

Speaker 5 (41:10):
No?

Speaker 2 (41:11):
I can't even say it. I'm like, well, I feel
the same way. It's like I stutter when I say kids. No,
I no, I don't I don't want kids. Yeah. Good,
it's kind of what's the point the world is about
to explode? Well, I know, bad timing, Yeah, to have children.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
Anytime I see a pregnant woman, I just am so
confid you need a ride and like yeah to mars.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
Well, our next caller is Catherine with a K and
this is a long email. I just want you to
It's a very long email, but kind of.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Like it all needs to be there, so okay. Sometimes
emails I have trouble for the same Yeah, well you through?

Speaker 7 (41:47):
Yeah, hold her hand.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
I am in a conundrum that I don't know how
to get out of, but won't.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
At this time for one main reason. Let me explain.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
I've known this guy since twenty nineteen. We met on
Ashley Madison and started at three year sugar baby.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
Sugar daddy relationship.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
We hung out once a week the majority of the arrangement,
with more time when our schedules allowed. We lived an
hour from one another, and this dynamic was great for
both of us because he's a workaholic and I was
just as busy being a single mom to my two
sons while working full time and dealing with their unhelpful
co parent dad. Obviously, because we met on Ashley Madison,
he was married with two children of his own. I
knew this, he was transparent about it, and it worked

(42:25):
out perfectly for me, as married men tend to be
too busy for a real relationship. Call me terrible, but
that dynamic works best for me at the stage of
my life. From the beginning, we both said this was
strictly business. Both our sexual needs were met, I received
financial compensation, and we respected the boundaries surrounding his married
life and my children. Then, of course, he fell in
love and wanted more, while I fell in love too,

(42:46):
I didn't want more. I wanted the arrangement to be
kept the same, the main reason being I didn't trust
that he wouldn't do the same thing to me that
he was currently doing to his wife. My marriage also
ended because my ex husband did the exact same thing
to me. It's crazy how I was willingly to be
the other woman. I own my shit, and therapy has
been great for me. During our initial three year relationship,
he never once mentioned leaving his wife, but did state

(43:08):
that they should get divorced. He told me they weren't
sleeping together.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
Believable. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Divorce is messy since he was married. I met someone else,
which I didn't feel guilty about. He eventually found out
and all of a sudden decided to leave his wife.
I'm sure that this was in an effort to prove
to me he wanted to be with me.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
I'm not naive. I know he would eventually do to
me what he did to his wife.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
And we stopped seeing each other after in an argument
in which he said some nasty things. No one talks
to me that way. We've both moved on, or so
I thought. A couple months ago, I texted him in
a weak moment. He responded, We met up and slept
together once in April. We both wanted to do it again,
but haven't. He is divorced from his wife, currently living
with a new lady.

Speaker 7 (43:43):
He claims is.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Great and he's happy. But if that's the case, why
is he meeting me? I know why.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Our sex is phenomenal. My main struggle is that I
know this is wrong. I'm not a stupid woman. I
know he's a liar and a cheater and always will be.
I put myself in that category two because my current
boyfriend has no idea. I don't want to get back together,
but I know what I like sexually, and he delivers
it every single time. I think it's purely sexually driven,
because I don't yearn for him or find myself missing him.
I only text what i'm horny to note. I am

(44:10):
not having grade sex with my current boyfriend. He tries,
but it's not there. So what's a lady to do.
We're only here on this earth for a short time,
we might as well have grade sex. Please give me
some advice. I admire you as a fellow boundary living,
fierce independent woman.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
Boundary loving. I'm a boundary I don't have boundaries.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
And then the day I emailed her, she emailed me
with an update that said, we sleve together this morning.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Phenomenal as usual.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
So Hi, Hi Catherine, Hi Catherine, Hi Catherine, Hi.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
This is our special guest, Adam Rippon here today and
he is here to counsel you.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
Yes, that was a long letter. I was being able
to pay attention.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
Throughout the whole letter, there was a lot happening, a
lot of different characters.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Okay, Adam, do you want to start this one? Sure,
I'll start.

Speaker 5 (44:53):
I think that you're right in thinking that, like, if
you get into a relationship with this guy, that it
will end in disappointment. It'll end up the same way
that it started. Basically, Yeah, I think you know that.
And I think that the like forbidden sort of love
and the lusts that you're able to like have with
each other can be really passionate because it is what

(45:16):
it is, Like you do that and it's then you
don't see each other, and it's this like really exciting,
like adrenaline pumping thing. And I think that more so
than like the sex with him, it's that rush of
adrenaline that you're feeling. And I think it's the rush.
And I think that you think of that rush, and
you think of like the thrill that like that sexual

(45:37):
chemistry that you guys have is so intoxicating that it's
probably making the sex better feeling better than it actually is.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
And I think like when you're with your with your boyfriend, you're.

Speaker 5 (45:49):
Thinking, like God, it's just it's not that exciting, well,
because it's not wrong and it's not like forbidden. So
I think it's that like adrenaline, and sometimes it's like
thinking about that will make it less exciting. If you're thinking,
it's just these chemicals like pumping into my brain making
you want to do this, What do you think, Catherine with.

Speaker 4 (46:05):
The King, No, I definitely agree, that's definitely part of it.
Even when we were exclusively but maybe not exclusively on
his part, seeing each other back in twenty nineteen, it
was the same thing. I saw him once a week
and then you know, he went off and did his
life for the rest of the week and I did mine,
and then when that day came around the next week,
it was new and exciting again.

Speaker 7 (46:27):
So I get that.

Speaker 4 (46:27):
Part two where I struggle the most is do I
have feelings or is it just the lustiness that we
just talked about, like the fun and exciting and the wrongness,
or do I actually really care?

Speaker 3 (46:42):
I think that you have to trust your female instinct,
your internal instinct, which is this guy is trouble.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Is the right voice in your head that's you've been saying.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
You've said that three times in that letter in three
different ways, and you said it again with regard to
the situation, and as it stands today, we as women
need to pay attention to that inner voice. It is
protecting us. You don't may not even ever find out
what it's protecting you from. Hopefully you don't find out
what it's protecting you from. But I would just say

(47:14):
to everyone who's listening today, always listen to that fucking
voice that is like your internal like reader telling you no, no, no, no,
something's off here, and it's never fucking wrong. And we
instead think, oh, well, this is fun. I might have
fun with him. I mean, he's doing the same everything.
His behavior hasn't changed at all. He's got some other

(47:36):
woman now, and so you're now talking about having an
affair with him.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
But for what you like?

Speaker 3 (47:41):
Why just because it's good sex. That's not a good
enough reason.

Speaker 4 (47:45):
I don't think, I know, I agree with you, And
that is the main thing. Other than and sometimes people
can play pretend attentive. Would check in things like that, right,
Things that always start at the beginning of something and
if you're lucky, continue on so you have a lasting relationship.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
But eventually those things die. Yeah, but that's a chase
that's a chase.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
This guy has demonstrated his behavior over the years, and
it's pretty consistent, right, And the idea that if you
were to be with him, he's going to change into
this different person is exactly what you think.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
It is bullshit.

Speaker 7 (48:22):
I know that.

Speaker 4 (48:22):
I think I just needed to hear it from some
other people. Yeah, of course, to kind of solidify what
I already do know. So then I guess my main
question goes too, in which I know I can block
and such, How do I resist the orges to text
because A, I know he's always going to answer, and B,

(48:43):
like we said at the beginning, it is very very
good for whatever the reasons. Maybe the sex is very
very good.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
Do you know how you're going to resist your urges
to text him?

Speaker 7 (48:55):
How?

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Because you're a grown ass fucking woman. You are grown
I knew you were gonna say what hello?

Speaker 3 (49:02):
Because you don't feel like texting him back anymore. It's
a wrap on this guy. Forget about him. You are
a grown woman who is empowered. Give yourself a little
bit more power. You are not going to text him again.
You don't need his validation, you don't need to have
good sex with him. There are millions of men out there,
find somebody else to fuck.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
You already have somebody to fuck, don't you. Isn't that
wasn't that part of the letter that you're also fucking
someone else?

Speaker 7 (49:29):
I am?

Speaker 3 (49:30):
Yes, so yeah, it's not as good and bad. Okay, Okay,
this guy's not the right one. Find somebody else to
tickle your fancy. I seriously, like you've said to me
in this letter enough times for me to know for
you that you need to be told to trust yourself
and trust your instincts.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Yeah you know already.

Speaker 5 (49:51):
Yeah, I think you knew the answer all along, like
you were alluding to it throughout the whole email.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
Go write down on a piece of paper that right,
I am a grown woman.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
Write that down and put it on your mirror in
your bathroom.

Speaker 3 (50:04):
And I want you to say that to yourself every
fucking time you have an urge, walk into the mirror,
look at that, and say to yourself in the mirror,
I am a grown ass woman.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
Okay, I'm going to do that. Yeah, Okay, let's not
have this conversation again.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
Okay, we will not, Okay, okay, Catherine with Okay, good
luck with everything.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Thanks for calling in.

Speaker 7 (50:22):
Thank you bye.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
Bye meeting on Ashley Madison. Also, I'm looking at myself
in here.

Speaker 5 (50:28):
I look like Steve Harvey in this shirt, which has
been a tough.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
With white face.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
Yes, I mean your skin couldn't be more opposite than
Steve Harvey's.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
I have to be honest with you. Similar.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
Yeah, but that is a Steve Harvey shirt. Yes, that's
not what you're giving is Steve Harvey. Like you have
to really go, you have to really get in there
to figure that out.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:49):
Yeah, Ashley Madison, I almost started watching that documentary the
other night on Netflix or wherever it is, and I
was like, I don't care. I don't care about this story.
I don't care about Tawdrey. I don't like tawdry stories.
I don't like tawd Like. I tried to watch that
Poop Cruise. I'm like, this is tawdry.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
The poop Cruise, Miss Netflix all about there.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
There's a cruise that like lost their power in the
middle of some ocean and then everyone has a poop
it And I was like, you know what this is.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
They had to poop and buckets. When you don't like
like poop, I don't like cruise. I don't like poop.
I don't like cruises. I don't I don't like festivals,
you know, whenever they're like I've never been, I will
never go. Sorry. I don't need to be like dusty,
like I don't know, sweaty and dusty and hot and
thirsty and being on drugs. It's too much of a combination,

(51:35):
like I want to be on You hate drugs, Yeah,
I hate drugs. I hate them. Well, should take a
break and wrap up with a quickie.

Speaker 3 (51:44):
Sure, we're going to take a break and we'll be
right back with Adam Rippon. Am I saying it now?
I or even too much?

Speaker 6 (51:53):
No?

Speaker 2 (51:53):
I think you can make it more and more.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
Okay, we're gonna we're back with Adam Rippan, the litlt
and I have so many different ways I can say things.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Oh, excellent.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Well, our last call comes from Jess. She says, dear Chelsea,
from one dog lover to another, I need your help
before I spiral. I rescued a dog from the shelter
seven months ago. She's a little over a year old now,
and since the day I brought her home, I have
been her everything. I feed her, I walk her, I
give her peanut butter. I take her to the dog park.

(52:24):
I clean up her emotional and literal messes. Basically, I'm
her unpaid therapist, chef, chauffeur, and life coach. And yet
this bitch is obsessed with my husband. The man does nothing,
He didn't even want a dog. He barely acknowledges her existence.
And still she looks at him like he's the second
coming of Caesar Milan. She snuggles him, She follows him around,

(52:45):
She waits for him at the door, like he's deployed overseas.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
I could be on fire and she'd be like, but
where's dad? Chelsea? Help?

Speaker 1 (52:52):
How do I get this furry little trader to appreciate
the woman who saved her from doggy prison and spoon
feeds her high quality kibble every day.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Attached to a photo for reference.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
Please note her delusional level of devotion centreats and therapy.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Send help, sincerely, Jess.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
Hi, Jess, this is this is our special guest, Adam Rippon.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Hi.

Speaker 7 (53:13):
I see you.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
Nice to meet you too.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
Have you thought about is killing your husband an option
or considering it? Yeah? Not not with a gun, not
in a violent way, like a.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
Way and snuggling.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
Oh, there's nothing you can do.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
No, there's nothing you can do.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
I mean, all you could try to do is let
him do all of the work that you're doing and
see if that flips a switch and the dog because
sometimes dogs like the person that plays harder to get you.

Speaker 7 (53:42):
Know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (53:43):
But there's nothing you could do about a dog's affection
my dogs. First of all, you're coming to the wrong
person for good dog advice. My dogs don't respect me.
None of them have ever respected me. They don't understand
how hard I work and how much I provide for them.
They love me, but they don't respect me. So like
you asking me how to get your dog to love
you more is like it's like talking to It's like

(54:04):
talking to Liza Minellie about not doing any pills.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
You know what I mean. I don't know how to
help you.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
But what I can say is you can try and
take the responsibilities, put them all on your husband and
see if that changes it and flip a switch.

Speaker 7 (54:16):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (54:17):
Star Well, right, right, But but like there's something to
be said for you know, everyone says, oh, it's who
feeds them, who doesn't, who takes them for walks, who
does that like, maybe if he is doing all of
those things, if you're doing all of those things and
he already and your dog loves him so much, maybe
if he's doing all those things, the dog will start
being more attracted to you because he doesn't feel like

(54:38):
you're waiting on him.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
And is it a he or she? She?

Speaker 3 (54:41):
It's a she that she she won't feel like you're
waiting on him handed her, hand and foot.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
There's a lot of genuine confusion on this show. I'm
so sorry.

Speaker 7 (54:50):
That's okay.

Speaker 3 (54:51):
Yeah, I think I've considered maybe she's just a whore
and she just loves maybe. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they are.
I mean a girl dog with a man. I can
see where you're going with that. My dog is very
into females, loves females like he's very sexual. You know,
he wants to be around women all the time. He
knows exactly the faces to make. It's very manipulative. He

(55:13):
only wants to me when he needs something, you know
what I mean. He's not like coming over and going, hey,
you want to hug in the middle of the day.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
It's like food related. Uh huh.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
He is a protector. Actually, Actually, Doug is.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
The best dog I've had so in terms of like
a relationship.

Speaker 2 (55:27):
But he doesn't.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
When I say Doug, come, it's like I might as
well be talking to a hot air balloon.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Or Adam Rappon or Adam Rappon.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Yeah, you know what, this actually might be a time
for a second dog.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
Maybe it's just like you need to get a dog
for yourself.

Speaker 7 (55:43):
You have a second dog.

Speaker 5 (55:44):
Oh wait, what's the deal with the second dog?

Speaker 2 (55:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (55:48):
I have two dogs too, Jessica, and I feel kind
of your pain.

Speaker 7 (55:52):
I have Achwaa.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
He is twelve years old and he was also rescued.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
And it's funny because it was my husband dog first,
but now he is obsessed with.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Me, So you know what it is? Yeah, but well
but I can't believe you. I can't believe you how
greedy you have a dog that he rescued. First of all,
you don't have to say that chihuahua was rescued.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
Nobody is going to a breeder to buy chihuahuas, so
you don't again, Okay, okay, we know it's a rescue,
but I mean, you already have a dog that is
obsessed with you. That's his dog, and now the same
thing happened to you and you're calling into a dear Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
You know, I always have two kids who are also
obsessed with me.

Speaker 7 (56:33):
But I want all of them.

Speaker 3 (56:36):
If people keep coming out of the woodwork during this
phone call alone, I mean, I think everything's good, everything's
fine with you, and just keep going and just hope
for the best and be grateful for the love that
you are. Go where the light is, Harriet fair enough,
And it's over there. It's it's next to a heat lamp,
next to the chihuahua.

Speaker 5 (56:52):
Uh huh celebrating their thirteenth birthday.

Speaker 7 (56:56):
Yeah, he saves with my hating times.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
Yeah, okay, all right, we'll take care. Thanks for calling in.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
I thank you bye.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
Talk about a problem, not problem, but it's like a
non problem problem.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 5 (57:09):
The hardest thing about I never had dogs until I
got the dogs that I have now. I have Tony
and Tracy. Tony's from Mexico, Tijuana and Tracy's from a
dumpster in Bakersfield.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Oh and we got Tracy when.

Speaker 5 (57:23):
She was like one year old already, she didn't know
her name, she wasn't trained at all, like total street dog.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
And Tony is like we had him since he was
like a puppy.

Speaker 5 (57:34):
He's like great, And Tracy, I've really had to learn that,
like dogs just don't think the same way that we do,
and like sometimes like you just need to think of
Like I think in this situation, it's like the dog
is just associating like relaxing with the husband, because the
husband's always relaxing when they're together, and when like the
dog is with Jessica, I think the dog is just like,

(57:57):
oh wet, this is what I who I eat with,
but this is who I relax with. Like dogs compartmentalize
like different things like that.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
And Tracy, she's also a huge bitch my dog. I mean,
do we really know what dogs are thinking? And do
we really care? I don't.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
Sometimes I care too much, I think, But it's like
what could they possibly be thinking?

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Not much, I'll tell you that what are they thinking?

Speaker 3 (58:20):
They forget people when they're gone, and they remember you
when you come back, so there can't be a big
margin of thinking, you know what I mean. They're like,
votes you again, I'm excited.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
To see you, and then three minutes later they're over it.
So it's like if nothing matters real, it doesn't know
it nothing does matter.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
All right, Adam Rappan, I can't believe we finally got
the pronunciation of your name right. You wouldn't think it
would be that confounding. It's r ippo, n.

Speaker 5 (58:43):
I know, but in our English of today, we don't
go hard on with that.

Speaker 2 (58:50):
That are we go in Yeah, that's true and any
other thing. Thank you for the.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
Donuts, the gluten free donuts specifically, even though I'm not gluten.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
For I really enjoyed it, but you went to it
immediately because I wanted to be higher.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
I was like, that's better than a real donut, you
know what I mean, I better take the gluten free one.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
You can listen to Adam's podcast.

Speaker 3 (59:11):
It's called The run Through, and he gave us a
real nice slice of that's in today's episode. I am
definitely going to be listening to it. And thank you
for coming. I'm my friends were very excited that I
was having you on my podcast, and now I understand why.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
And I'm so glad I'm more familiar with you.

Speaker 5 (59:25):
I'm so glad to be You're so cute familiar with you.
You're also so cute. I'll also say that thank you.
I also have another podcast. Called intrusive thoughts of course,
if you don't want to listen to anything that's not
solely figure skating related. Because I don't talk about getting
your head smashed in at Spago all the time.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
You know, it's.

Speaker 3 (59:43):
How can although that could be a recurring theme for
a podcast, it's judging by what's going on at Spago.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
Yeah, so in truth of thoughts you talk more about
like there is kind of like everything. Yeah thoughts.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
I did enjoy your sun flowers have too many muscles,
and that's I don't like that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Don't they look strong? Totally?

Speaker 7 (01:00:02):
Right?

Speaker 6 (01:00:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
I just I did a feel to win. Dancing with
the Stars.

Speaker 5 (01:00:06):
Felt good, Chelsea, real good, real fucking good.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
How did you celebrate something like that?

Speaker 5 (01:00:12):
Well, it was like a whirlwind because it was like
right after the Olympics. So I celebrated at first by
losing like ten pounds, which I didn't even know I
could like lose still after like the Olympics, and so
it was at an all time low weight wise, all
time high win wise.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
But that seems like a win win. It was a win.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
I mean, as a gay man, aren't you just excited
to be losing weight?

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
I think as a gay man.

Speaker 5 (01:00:35):
You're always excited to be focused on your weight whatever
it is, high, low, dangerous.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
Yeah, but what did you do to celebrate? You didn't
answer that question. I don't think I did an anything.

Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
No, really, you win Dancing with the Stars and you
don't go out and like have a night or I.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Mean maybe I did that. I don't have a cupcake,
a donut. I think I a sidecar, don't gluten free. Maybe,
I mean, if that's what it has to come down,
I think so. I mean it was like I was
so tired at that point, like it was.

Speaker 5 (01:01:04):
It was right after the Olympics too, and so I
think I just took a good old nat and I
was literally like inch thick of like spray tan too.
Oh it's amazing. I go to sleep, you wake up,
you look down shroud of Turin. It's like just it
was a biblical experience of being bat tan.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
I would have really looked like Steve Harvey. Wow, what
sounds like you really have a thing for Steve Harvey today.

Speaker 5 (01:01:27):
I do because I'm looking and I'm like, I should
host family feud.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
When I see myself, maybe will.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
Host family feud. Let's put that on your vision board. Okay, Okay,
we're done for the day. Thank you for having us Chelsea,
Catherine Adam Rapon. Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There
are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming and
I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my

(01:01:53):
residency on August thirtieth, and then November one and twenty ninth.
November first and November twenty ninth, I will be in
Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing inside Myself at the Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,
thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod.
Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
merch at Chelseahandler dot com