I Saw What You Did - Babies or Space - Dear Movies, I Love You

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of I Saw What
You Did.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
My name is Millie de Jericho.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
I'm Daniel Henderson, and we're back with you once again
to talk about the wonderful world of the films of
our lives.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Daniel, what's up?

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Oh so much? This is the first time I've sat
down in a week. I've lost five pounds this week
because my grandma moved in and she now has a servant.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's a clap for your grandma. That's not me laughing
this time. I'm clapping for grandma.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
Awesome, awesome distinction, awesome distinction.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
I'm so happy to have her here, Like this is
the reason I bought this house and move back to
this horrible town, and I'm just.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Happy to have her here. But yeah, she full on
has a servant now.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Like I thought she'd move here and it would be
like it wasn't her apartment, where like she was pretty
functional on her own, and now she's like why would
I bother?

Speaker 1 (01:13):
You're right there, dude, gotta love it so Like so
you're saying that you're just chilling a day.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
And night doing tasks, like, oh yeah, what are we
talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Like I am like it was my birthday a couple
of weeks ago, and I was just like, all right,
I'm forty five and I've never wanted kids, but somehow
I ended up with a kid. Like I am changing diapers,
I'm wiping out toilets, I'm making lunch, I'm sweeping, I'm
like every five.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
Seconds, I'm She's constantly just like can I have a
paper towel from why White in my hand? And I'm like, yes,
you can.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
She is just like I'm doing laundry, Like I'm putting
her to bed, I'm waking her up, I'm getting her showered,
like I fully, and this is.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
Not to infantilize her.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
This is more to vilify myself in that, like I
being a caretaker is tough and not something I ever
planned on doing with my life.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
So but like I.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Told you, I mean, we talked about this a while
ago over the phone. It's the kindest thing, Like to me,
it's just really really warms my heart that you have
decided to move your grandma in and I love that.
I just love that you're taking care of her because
she's taken care of you, and like, I just love

(02:33):
I think that that notion is really sweet and you're
a good person.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (02:38):
That means a lot. It's and it just it seems
like the natural thing to do.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Like I love her, I don't want to be her
to be alone or scared, and it just felt like
the right thing to do. And so I'm glad I
could do it, but also totally not prepared for it.
And let me tell you that in terms of our
deadlifting Sunny Corleone challenge, I know that you feel like
I have not been pulling my end of the bargain.

(03:05):
But I will have you know that I now can
confirm that I can deadlift at least one hundred and
ten pounds because when I try to help my grandma
and any capacity, whether I'm like trying to help her
out of a chair, trying to help her on the toilet,
she again this is it's like having a toddler. Instead
of just saying no, please don't help me, or no

(03:26):
that's okay, the bitch just goes limp. So I am
deadlift saying one hundred and ten pounds several times a day.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Now.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Look, I mean I didn't say that we had to
be in a gym for the challenge, did I say?

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Did I? Say that was that part.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Of the real of never one when we outlined this challenge.
I mean, you're out there doing it in the real world,
which is the most valuable, versus me, who's just doing
it in a very controlled environment, you know, with like
stupid bros around me who don't know the concept of
love and affection for our elders.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
So what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (04:08):
Like, Oh yeah, I'm like real world application, Like what
does it feel like to lift someone under the arms
when they do not want to be lifted up? Which
I imagine James con does not want to be.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
We don't technically know, Okay, don't yet know.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Maybe he does want to be carried over the threshold
in a uh you know, in that very like romantic way.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
We don't know.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
Look at this point, I could get him dressed in
the morning, I could get him showered, I could get
him on and off a toilet, and I could lift
him the whole time. I could swallow him like a
baby when it's over. Yeah, I can suck him in
at night, like I can do half of the Sunny
Corleone workout and deadlift half of that motherfucker right now.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Look, as far as I'm concerned, you're you've really just
moved up the chart from me. Like, like I said,
it's like a real world strength that you that you
now possess, whereas I'm doing it in a false environment.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
You can come help if you want to apply your
weightlifting skills, come through and try to lift this bitch
up out of a chair which she's watching Jeopardy because
let me.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Tell you, well, yeah, and that was the thing, Okay,
So I want to talk about this because that was
another part of like the text that you sent me
was basically like you're watching a lot.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
Of TV with your grandma.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Which I love because it's always very entertaining because we,
as we know, as listeners of this podcast, know your
grandma is specifically into carnage.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Gore, blood, guts, all that stuff.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
Does she so?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
And I know that she's watched The Walking Dead, right,
oh yea.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Because she watches horror movies. But then she also watches
horror television, yes, right.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
And in her she has a little curio cabinet with
all of her like figurines and you know, special plates
or whatever, and there are at least four Walking Dead
figurines in there. Hah, like like right on the shelf
with the black Jesus, you've got a Walking Dead zombie.

Speaker 4 (06:17):
She's got those like I got.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
Her a pop one of those funko dolls. Like she's
just she is into that show. And when I told her,
when I kind of explained to her that hey, this
is what the Internet is like and you can watch
whatever you want, whenever you want. And she is still
getting used to that concept. But as soon as I
said we can watch The Walking Dead or fear the

(06:38):
Walking Dead from the beginning, she was like, oh, well
that's my jam now, so my house is I went from.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
And this is also.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
Something like I'm learning about myself from having her live here,
is that I'm a very quiet person.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
I lived a very quiet life.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
And you know very you know, one light on in
the room that I'm in kind of situation. If I
watched a TV show, it wasn't full blast. My house
is filled with screams all day long. Now, Yeah, because
she's watching movies. Every ten minutes, I'm hearing somebody screaming.
I'm hearing the sounds of somebody getting eaten up.

Speaker 4 (07:15):
All day. That is a soundtrack in my life.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
Now, we watched we watched The Gray Well first we
watched Taken.

Speaker 4 (07:24):
We watched all three Taken movies.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
She absolutely loves watching Liam Neeson beat people up.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Yeah, my mom does too.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Oh my god, could not get enough, could not get enough.
And so we watched all three and then she's like, ooh,
does he have any more? And I was like, well,
let's watch The Gray. And so we watched The Gray
and she was very excited at first because she's like, oh,
you used to live in Alaska and the plane in
the movie crashes in Alaska. And I was like, yes,
and I've been on one of those shitty prop planes.
You used to have to take one to work. I'm

(07:53):
having PTSD. Thanks for pointing that out.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Fuck those.

Speaker 4 (07:56):
The whole time.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
We watched that movie, she was rooting for the war.
Every time somebody died, she was like, yes, get them.
And I'm like, that is not normally how people perceive
this film.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Okay, I love this is I'm loving this. I love
how you went from You were living this very spartan
one candle burning like Elizabeth Barrett Browning at the Desk.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Two, basically.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
A NonStop horror buffet with like the audience watching you know, wolves,
rip apart, human beings.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
And it's so excited, so excited. We watched what did
we watch?

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh? We watched Doctor Sleep, which I know I've talked
about in a bonus episode, but it's the kind of
sequel to The Shining and Ewan McGregor is in it,
and it's got this great little actress in it, and
she was just couldn't, just could not be happier. She's
after we watched Doctor she wanted to watch The Shining
because she heard the music when they pulled up to
the overlook and she's like, oh, I remember this. I

(09:06):
want to watch the original. That hotel was creepy, So
now I'm watching The Shining. I mean, it's just like
every ten minutes we fluctuate between extremely old people shit
like the six o'clock news, which I now have to
watch every.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Night, the six o'clock news. Listen. I don't know how
much the news comes on there. My parents watch the.

Speaker 4 (09:28):
Four o'clock news sometimes. Dam that is some Florida shit.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
That is some Florida ass in the shit, because.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
Four o'clock is the Judge Judy hour here.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, they do a little in Florida. They do a
little pregame four pm. Then there's a five six, and
then at.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
Eleven eleven right, oh yeah, oh yeah, and they are
on they are like still sucking that cable teat Man
like it is, yeah, non stop. So I'm watching the news,
I'm watching people getting murdered and eaten. And then in
the morning it starts out with three hours of The
Today Show Wow, which I you know, can kind of

(10:08):
skip the first couple of hours because I'm usually like
cleaning or doing breakfast or something.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
Wait, do hosts the Today Show?

Speaker 3 (10:14):
Now? It's like Hoda, it's like eight people, Like Al
Roker's a host. Now, I didn't know Al Roker's out
there a fucking hosting, And they're all sitting around like
a half TV table like the way they used to
sit at Saved by the Bell when they were having lunch.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Does he still announce the people who have made it
past one hundred? I guess that's still the Smucker's thing,
where they're like, this person's one hundred and.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Five or whatever.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
He is out there announcing the old people. He took
over the Willard Scott roll beautifully announcing the folks.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
Sometimes I think he still.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
Does the weather, and he is constantly talking about his
cyber knife procedure that he went under when he had
prostate cancer. And I'm like, al Roker, I know a
ton about you. Yeah, and I'm not mad at it,
but goddamn, can.

Speaker 4 (10:59):
We get a break.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
These people are just trying to find out, like what
floral arrangements coming up next? And He's like, remember when
I had prostate cancer? And they're like, fucking hell.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
We're just take smoothies. We want to know about smoothie
recipes for the summer.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
Come on, we want Jacob Ward to tell us what's
happening in tech.

Speaker 4 (11:18):
Let me tell you.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
This is the other I know I texted you about this,
but this is the other, very strange side effect of
living with my grandmother, Okay and watching all of this
old people TV all the time.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Sure, I now have a crush on Jacob Board. Now.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
He is the tech person for the Today Show, but
he used to be the editor of Popular science magazine.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Up your All, Up my Alley.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
And he's got a book out called The Loop that
I've just started. I haven't gotten into it yet, but
it's a great, great book. So far, Jacob Ward is
the hottest little nerd we've ever seen. He's the new
romantic ideal and it's because I'm hanging out with a
ninety year old all day.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Listen.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
That's that.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
This is how people fucking got a crush on that
pole guy.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
What's the guy that did the pole stuff?

Speaker 4 (12:09):
Like Silverberg or no, Nate silver No, what's that?

Speaker 3 (12:14):
You know?

Speaker 1 (12:14):
The is it the guy that wore the khakis? Everyone
he's like, oh my god, he's so cute. He wears
khaki pants, Like that's some fucking amazing thing. I forgot
his name, but during the elections he was like, I.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
Remember that game. Remember his name? But yeah, it's like
I remember.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
It's kind of that concept, and I feel like, this
is what you're experiencing, where you are just trying to
find the hottest person in the room.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Steve Kornaki, our producer, is on it all the time.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
I think Casey had that like at the fingertips maybe
a little too quickly.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Maybe he was feeling a little something for Steve Karnaky too.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
Am I the only person that's not fed by khaki pants?

Speaker 3 (13:02):
You were talking the whole reason you are talking to
the other person who was not wooed by khaki pants.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Thank you, girl. I appreciate you seeing me.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
Can we get more from Steve Kornaki? What the fuck
mo else does he bringing to the table. Jacob Ward
is out here telling you some shit and if.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
You want to go down the rabbit hole a bit
with Jacob Ward, his instagram is fire as. I had
to look him up because I actually didn't know who
he was, so of course I went and looked at
his instagram.

Speaker 4 (13:29):
I'm like, because you're not ninety, yes.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
But it's the concept of your like, I just need
to find like the hottest person in this scenario so
I can have something to focus my attention on. Right,
So you're like, Okay, I'm watching Pole Results, I guess
I'm gonna be in love with this Khaki guy.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
I'm watching the Today Show.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
I guess I'm gonna gravitate towards this hot nerd right,
because who are your other options? Al Roker, I guess
I don't know, but you know Jacob Ward. So I'm
just first of all, I'm saying I don't blame you
for this. But also when I went to his instagram,
I was like, oh, this fucking tracks for Danielle give me.

Speaker 4 (14:09):
A and not for nothing. He's got a black wife exactly.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
That's all. That's all you had to say. That's all
I had to say.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
That's the first when I went to his Instagram, I
was like, Oh, he's got a black wife.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Okay, I like this guy. I don't know why I think.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
I think anybody that's in an interracial relationship is okay
with me.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
That is again, the new gold standard is if I
can instantly tell that you are a modern person who
doesn't have ridiculous biases, I'm on board.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yes, if you're not out here perpetuating the pure white
arian race in any way, shape or form, then you're okay.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
You're okay with us. Isn't that sad?

Speaker 4 (14:52):
It's like, okay, we are sad. We are at the.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Moment where we're lusting after Khakis.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
We're like, you know, stay, people who have interracial marriages,
You're just like.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
God, things are grim, but you know what, that's how,
that's how we have to figure it out these.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
Days, right, things that things are bleak.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
Like I need to know I am instead of innocent
until proven guilty, I'm like, all right, everyone's a card
carrying member of the fucking Confederate and so proven to
be in an interracial relationship.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
Listen, I'm a product of an interracial relationship.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
I would love to be in an interracial relationship.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Nobody wants to be in one with me. That's what
I figured out. I was like, how come nobody wants
to be in.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
An interracial relationship with me? That sucks?

Speaker 1 (15:38):
How am I supposed to keep my race mix and
going through the generations if no fucking person of color
wants to date me?

Speaker 2 (15:47):
Come on?

Speaker 3 (15:47):
How am I supposed to be the ultimate proponent of
Khakis by making Khaki children?

Speaker 4 (15:52):
If I can't?

Speaker 3 (15:59):
Is the episode?

Speaker 4 (16:00):
Is this the episode where we get canceled? Is this
the one?

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (16:03):
I'm getting canceled because of a lot of things that
I will be saying in just a moment about my film.
But yes, they're going to cancel us on the front
end of this episode.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
Two, that'd be like this whole episode top to bottom.
These like the tides will turn against us. But look,
I can't help it. I live with a fucking eighty
nine year old and I have the hots for Jacob
Ward and he's got a black wife, and it made
me very happy.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
Listen, that's that's all you had to say. I mean,
that is great.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
That is actually great considering if you're having to watch
three hours of the Today Show.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
Three hours, you know that's the best you can do.

Speaker 4 (16:43):
Do not even get me started. I will find anything
to do.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
I will do a dish, I will sweep the same
part of the floor ten times, like I will make
a bid. I'll do anything to not watch all four
hours of the Today.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
Show and it's only three. Because she will.

Speaker 3 (16:59):
She will watch Channel two, They're you know, good Morning, No,
the Good Morning America's Channel seven. See I know, I'm
all now the CBS Morning Show. She will watch for
an hour because she likes Gail King, and so she'll
get into Gail in the morning. That kind of gets
her going. And then she watches a couple of hours
of the Today Show and then or then she turns

(17:22):
from from Gail King to the Today Show when Drew
Barrymore comes on, because let me tell you, this is
news to me and I do not know where it
comes from.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
My no one.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
Hates Drew barr Moore more than my grandmother. What she
fucking hates Drew Barrymore. And I'm like, what is going on.
She's a sweet woman. She's changed her life multiple times
she had a tough childhood and now she's like this
like Drew Barrymore's coolest shit to me, Like she's fine. Yeah,
every single time the show comes on, she could not
grab the remote fast enough. She's so mad that she

(17:56):
only has full use of one hand because if she
had both hands, she would be using the other one
to throw something across the room. She fucking hates her.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
That is so weird. And I've asked her.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
I'm like, what is the problem, Like, tell me why
you don't like her? And she's like, ah, I just
don't like her. I just don't like her face.

Speaker 4 (18:14):
I don't like her attitude.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
She goes like hardcore, like middle school girl hatred. I
don't get it. And guess what, she doesn't either. She's
got to mention she doesn't remember why.

Speaker 4 (18:26):
She feels things. She just knows she feels it.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
So she's just like, ah, I just don't like her,
And I'm like, I can't understand this.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yeah, well listen, it is true.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
I mean sometimes people just simply hate people for really
no reason other than.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Just a vibe, you know what I mean, Like it's
a vibe. They don't know. She your grandma doesn't know
Drew Barrymore. She doesn't know like what.

Speaker 1 (18:47):
She's actually like, but she's just like I catch a
vibe through the television screen that I don't like her,
and I.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Don't fucking like her. And guess what, I've lived enough
time to where I get to do shit like that.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
I get to indscrim hate fucking motherfuckers anytime I want,
for any reason.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
Oh and the first.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
For the first couple of months that Drew Barrmore was on,
I heard occasionally about how much she didn't like her
because but then she had a reason at that point,
and that reason was there used to be some shitty
show on called like the Four Judges or The Judges
or some shit like that, and now that show isn't
on anymore because Drew Barrymore is on. So she's like,

(19:26):
they took off my show for this bitch I don't
like her. But then you know, that was like a
year ago or more and she still can't get on
board and it's not about the Judges anymore.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
Now she's like, I don't like that skirt.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
I like, she thinks she's better than everybody else, and
I'm like, I guarantee Drew Barrymore does not think she's
better than anybody else, I guarantee it.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
The four judges also look like what it was literally show.

Speaker 3 (19:53):
It was genuinely like a voltron of every fucking TV
judge on the huge bench that they'd built for these motherfuckers,
and they were all judge some poor idiots case and

(20:13):
it's like, you've got the fucking oh God, even remember
who the judges were. There was one lady who I
didn't I don't even know if she was a qualified
judge or like a Sephora saleswoman, I don't know, but
she was so fucking mean and.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
Gave no legal advice ever. And it was just this
huge It looked like the fucking Supreme Court.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
God on a fucking TV show, and it was all
like TV crank judges. And she fucking lived for it,
nine o'clock every goddamn day. She fucking lived for it.
And now it's gone and she's blaming Drew Barrymore and
I don't think it's fair and I have to hear
it all the time if I don't change the channel
fast enough. But let me tell you who she loves,

(20:55):
Wayne fucking Brady, duh, Because we were watching Let's make it
d every day.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, it's hard, hard not to like him.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
Hard not to like Wayne Brady.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
And the first thing she says every time he comes
popping out is, you know, he's the only black game
show host. And I'm like, Steve Harvey, No, he's the
only black game show host.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
And I'm like, all right, and that's your truth. Bye.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
Look, we've figured out a lot of things about Grandma already.
Number One, she hates Drew Barrymore because Drew Barrymore canceled
four judges presiding over Small Claims Court. I guess they
need four judges for small claims Court now, one of
who may not be a judge and just may work
at Sephora. Two, there is no other black game show

(21:42):
host except for Wayne Brady.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
It doesn't matter who comes to the table, it's only him, just.

Speaker 4 (21:47):
The gate Steve Harvey's entire career.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
And three now you have a crush on a tech
expert on the Today Show and.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
You're forced to watch horror horror content with your grandma
in the off hours.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
So when it's when it's read back to me like
that in list form, I feel like I've made a
mistake with.

Speaker 4 (22:09):
My life, to my house this now feels like a mistake.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
From sin where I'm sitting. It's the best thing that
ever happened to you, So I'll just say that.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
Oh let's also not forget that she sets off the
alarm in my house all the time.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
Uh huh.

Speaker 4 (22:29):
The first night she was here, the cops came.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
So imagine, now I have a baby monitor, and it's
like one of those baby monitors. It's like it's like
a closed loop system, and so it's not Wi Fi
and blah blah blah. And so I've got a camera
and I put prop it up on my nightstand so
I can see her in her room.

Speaker 4 (22:51):
And I knew it was going to be an adjustment
for her to be here. It's a new space.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
I set up her room exactly like her old room,
so her furniture is in the exacting spot, like, everything's
the same, so it's not that disorienting. But she wakes
up in the night. And I did not know this
about her. I thought she's old.

Speaker 4 (23:07):
She's gonna be asleep.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
No, she's up every hour, every couple of hours. At
least those first few nights, she was up every couple
of hours, which meant I was up every couple of hours, right,
because I'm like a new parent, monitoring every move this
fucking baby makes, and she sometimes she would.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
Just get up and go to the bathroom.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
But the first the first night, I actually made the
mistake of falling asleep at like one o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 4 (23:31):
After I thought she was down for the night.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
Three o'clock in the morning, my home alarm goes off
and I run downstairs, and when I tell you, she
had every door open, every door, yeah, and was just
like roaming around and she goes, well, where am I?
And I was like, oh, this is heartbreaking, but also

(23:56):
god damn, this is allowed.

Speaker 4 (23:57):
So I turned off the alarm.

Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, settled.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
As I'm getting her in bed, I see lights, flashlights
in my yard, and I was like, oh fucking hell,
because my alarms tied directly to the police department and.

Speaker 4 (24:12):
If I don't pick up the phone, they will call
the police.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
And I didn't pick up my phone because I left
my phone upstairs when I came running downstairs to see
why all the alarms were going off. So I get
her settled and I go outside and there's these two
police officers and they're like, is everything okay?

Speaker 4 (24:28):
And I was like, yes, kind.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
Of, I'm so sorry to drag you out here, but
my grandma has dementia. She opened the door, she didn't
know where she was. I wish I could say this
is the last time I'm going to see you, but
I guarantee I'm going to see you again.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
And they were like, no problem.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
And that only happened once, because now I have to
barricade the doors when I go to bed, and so
I barricade the doors.

Speaker 4 (24:52):
I put all the totes with her Christmas ornaments in them.
I put all of her totes in front of the.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
Just until she gets comfortable, and then I put all
these signs up all over the place. That's like, you're
at Danielle's house, Go back to bed. Everything's cool, And
it seems to have been working for the past few
days that she's not setting off the alarm at night.
But she is like, truly, I'm exhausted. I will say
I love her to bits, I'm so glad she's here.

(25:20):
I'm fucking exhausted.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
You know, you're gonna settle.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
Into a routine and it'll it'll even itself out. I mean,
when when it comes down to it, I do know
we're having a lot of fun. But the real advice
as your friend is that you're.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Doing a good thing.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
It's all new to everybody right now, but eventually you're
going to settle into a routine.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
You know.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
To be honest with you, I don't ever know where
I am, Like when I'm in my own house. Sometimes
I wake up and I'm like, what the fuck.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Exactly, Like it's a hard transition. Yeah, she's gonna be.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
I mean, you're doing a great thing. You guys are together.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
That's the most important part. She's being looked after by
someone who cares about her intensely. And you know, it's
it's like any new situation. I mean, I lived with
my parents for nine months, so and I'm sure that
I was there maybe at one point, like I was

(26:18):
not not fucking doing the thing that they were used to.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
So you know, you're right, You're right.

Speaker 4 (26:27):
It's an adjustment. Every part of it's an adjustment.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
Living in a new place, living in a house instead
of an apartment, you know, living with someone again.

Speaker 4 (26:35):
Neither one of us have lived with people for a
long time. Oh yeah, So it's just it's an adjustment.
But I'm having I'm having fun with it.

Speaker 3 (26:42):
But like, for the most part, like it is ninety
nine percent fun and we laugh a lot. But you're right,
like there's there was a weird and I didn't even
realize it.

Speaker 4 (26:51):
There was this like.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Weird kind of latent stress and worry that I was
carrying around. And now that she's here, I don't have
that anymore. Like, you know, it's better for her to
be wandering around and setting off alarms here than it
would be for her to be like opening her apartment
door and wandering out into the night.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
One hundred percent. One hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
So you're in the better situation ultimately, And I just
know it's gonna work out, and you guys are gonna
have a.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
Lot of fun together. It sounds like you already are.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
So she loves well, well, we will talk about it
when we get to our movies. But she watched these
movies with me, and she had some thoughts.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Oh my god, Ken, listen, I quit.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Put her on the zoom because no one wants to
hear what I have to fucking say about movies, Like
we want to hear what she has to say. I'm
totally willing to take the hit on this. Oh, if
she want to guess. If she wants to be a
guest on our.

Speaker 4 (27:49):
We can have her on as a guest.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
But you know, damn well that everyone cares what you
think about films, Millie.

Speaker 4 (27:56):
Let me tell her the listeners.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Our listeners are so wonderful and truly, you know, I
don't like people, so I'm truly being honest when I
say that our listeners are fantastic people. And Millie gets
recognized almost everywhere she goes, and I fucking love it.
And people love telling you how much they love you
on the show. So you know, damn well, you're not

(28:17):
going anywhere. Grandma can guess if she's having a lucid moment,
but you got to be there right right alongside of her.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
I mean, if you want to get down to it.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yes, I do get recognized sometimes, but they actually talk
about how much they love.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
You, which is great. It's still a compliment for me
that they like you better than me. I was like, look,
I'm chilled with that.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
So but look, when it comes down to it, this week,
we have some films that Daniel's grandmother. I would literally
pay thousands of dollars to know what she has to say,
especially about my movie, because I gotta tell you, Wow,
we're gonna really get into it this week.

Speaker 4 (29:03):
Well, let's do it. Let's just do it because damn.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
As per usual, Danielle has come up with our theme
this week. Because I'm just such a fucking dead weight bitch,
Like I'm like, I got no ideas, I got nothing.
Danielle came up with the theme, the name everything. So
why don't you tell them what our theme is this week?

Speaker 3 (29:32):
I thought it would be fun if we did a
theme called It's not babysitting if it's your own child.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
And I guess what.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
Both of these movies are about men who are surprised
with children and they are surprise caretakers. And let me
tell you that shit hit harder than I wanted it to.

Speaker 4 (29:58):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (29:59):
But the this are two eighties films that I would
not say are classics in the traditional sense, but they
are widely known films like they're classic in that way
that like everybody has heard of or seen these movies.
And something I wanted to ask you about, because it's
just part of the reason why I even thought of

(30:19):
this theme is there was something that was so rampant
in the eighties about how incompetent men were in general,
Like I'm trying to figure out, is it like it's
like that high fidelity quoll, like what came first?

Speaker 4 (30:35):
The music or the misery? Like what came first?

Speaker 3 (30:38):
Were men so incompetent that filmmakers were like, we got
to start fucking documenting some of this shit somehow, Or
did all these filmmakers start making these movies about how
men were fucking idiots and then they just lived up
to the standard.

Speaker 4 (30:53):
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 (30:55):
Well, I mean, I think we've talked about this in
previous episodes.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
I think we talked about this when we talk about
Working Girl.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
You know, there's a there was a proliferation of films
in the eighties where they were addressing the sort of
women going back to the workforce and like women in
business and you know, like that whole concept of like
the working you know.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
Eighties mom or whatever.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
And I think it created a small panic with men
because they were like, oh, fuck, like now my wife
might have a better job than me, or a job
in the case of your film, and now I.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Gotta be a domestic caretaker.

Speaker 4 (31:33):
What the fuck?

Speaker 2 (31:34):
I don't know how to do this.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
And so I think that these two movies particularly are playing,
you know, playing into that notion. But you're right, I
feel like, obviously the conditions were such where men were
horrified by the idea of having to take care of
not just children, but their own children, their own children,

(32:00):
their own children. I gotta say, like, I know a
lot of dads. A lot of my guy friends are
now fathers. Most of them are great, but ah, there
are a few stragglers out there.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
And to my movie's credit, I feel like he the
dude in my movie, didn't necessarily he wasn't reluctant to
take care of his kids. He was just super bad
at it because he never had to do it before.
And I think that's part of what made it charming,
is like he didn't instantly say like, oh, fuck this,
I can't believe I have to hang out with these little,
fucking shit hits.

Speaker 4 (32:35):
He was just kind of like, oh, I'm really bad
at that.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, And to be honest with you, I mean, I
even I feel that sometimes when I'm with my nephews,
you know, and my sister's away or you know, God,
when her and my brother in law went on vacation.
There was this one time where my nephew Henry got
handfoot in mouth while then in Seattle, and I was

(33:00):
with my mom and dad and the three of us
were like bumbly, fumbly, fucking Steve Guttenberg.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
We were like, oh my god, he has a rash
all over his body. What are we gonna fucking do?

Speaker 3 (33:11):
And then your sister comes back and you're like just
handing the baby out in front of you by ten
feet and you're like, sorry, I gave your baby trench foot.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
I don't know here he.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Is, and we didn't know how to change a diaper,
so he's just shitting all over the place, like I mean.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
At the same time, it is that thing where you're like, Okay, well,
I guess a lot of people who don't have kids
kind of feel that way, but I don't know. These
movies I think are definitely like tied to a time
and place because of again the sort of cultural shift
of the women in.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
The workplace in the eighties. And you know, it'll be interesting.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
I'm glad we're to eighties two movies because there's there's
gonna be a lot we can chew on for this
one completely.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
Let's hop on in.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
Yeah, because my film for the theme It's Not beabysitting
If It's Your Own Child was released in nineteen eighty three.
It was directed by Standragotti. The screenplay is by John Hughes.
And my film is mister Mom.

Speaker 4 (34:13):
Meet Dad. He's a real man, not beer seven o'clock
in the morning, Scotch.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Mister Mom.

Speaker 3 (34:23):
Now, I don't know about you, but I remember watching
this movie a lot when I was a kid, yeah,
and feeling like it was funny, and it definitely the
comedy does hold up in so many ways. The things
that were funny about this movie were still very funny
to me.

Speaker 4 (34:39):
But there is something in both of our.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
Movies that was a staple of the It's Not Babysitting,
It's Your Own Child eighties Dad's fumbling theme, which is
in both movies.

Speaker 4 (34:51):
They pick up the bottle and squeeze it into their coffee.
They pick up the.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
Baby bottle and I'm like, that's fucking formula. It's not
pure or milk, Like, what are you idiots to do?
Like on a base human level, what are you doing?
Like this is not this is how they telegraphed in
the eighties.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
These guys have no clue what's going on.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
No disrespect to the babies out there that are drinking formula.
But I ain't putting in my coffee. I just I'm
just throwing that out there, just a personal taste thing.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
But and it's either gonna be baby formula or breast milk,
like both Neither of these choices are making these men
look good.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
I love that that was a joke to telegraph how
stupid these men were.

Speaker 4 (35:33):
Totally.

Speaker 3 (35:34):
And it's in both movies. What I thought in your movie,
I'm like, here we go again, They're gonna pick up
the bottle. It was in every sitcom. It was just
like a fucking thing. And so the premise of this film,
essentially my one sentence synopsis is that when car factory
engineer Jack Butler gets fired from his job by his

(35:57):
carpool friend, he has to take care of his kids
while his wife goes back to work after he loses
a bet that he'll.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
Get a job before she does a bet a bet.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
We'll talk about this bet for sure, but essentially it's
like his so his wife is. It's pretty great cast.
His wife is played by Terry Garr. There's there's three
kids in this family. You've got Alex, who's the older
kid played by Frederick Kohler. And if you might not
know his name, but you absolutely know his face. He
was in everything in the eighties.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
He was also I don't know if there's any strangers
with candy fans out there. Yeah, Jerry Blank's date to
Bogie Nights.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
Anyway, her long lost son Ricky Anyway.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
Frederick Kohler has had a startling career.

Speaker 3 (36:54):
He's got the cutest little face and he's maintained his
little cute baby face for his entire adult life. It's yeah, wonderful,
and he's kind of the kid like Alex is this
kid who's the oldest. He kind of helps out around
the house. He's still only like eight years old, but
he'll like help out if.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
People need it.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
He's definitely going to be like a career politician. There's
a little baby named Meg.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
Which just cracks me up. I don't know why that.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
The baby's name is Meg. She's straight up like newbornish. Well,
she's also like verge of Toddler. She's still in a
walker like that age. And then we have Kenny, and
Kenny is a stone freak. He carries his little blanket
around that he calls his woobie and I swear and

(37:39):
this movie takes place in nineteen eighty three or filmed
in nineteen eighty three. Within five years, that kid's going
to discover flock of seagulls and terrorize that fucking neighborhood.

Speaker 4 (37:51):
Kenny's a freak. He's my favorite. I love these kids.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
He's definitely new wave band material for.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
Sure, one percent. And he So you got this cute
little family unit. Terry Gar's been the stay at home
mom taking care of the kids, and the movie kind
of opens and shows her going through her routine and
getting everyone up and ready for work. She says one
weird thing which I still can't get over because I
don't understand it, where she wakes up Michael Keaton and

(38:18):
she goes, your shower is ready, And I'm like, are
you telling me that you're like warming up showers for
this motherfucker?

Speaker 4 (38:23):
Like? Is this how incompetent men were in the eighties.
He's like, I gotta wash my body. I don't know
how to turn off this poset and to.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
Get my wife to warm this water for me.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
So she gets everyone ready and then Jack goes to
work and he's, you know, he's typical like.

Speaker 4 (38:42):
Middle aged, working dead, and Michael Keaton.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
Was pretty great for this role, Like he has incredible
comedic timing.

Speaker 4 (38:50):
He just kind of had that.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
Look of like the eighties dad with like kind of
a little mullet going on, and he was just kind
of fit the role so well.

Speaker 4 (38:59):
But he goes to work with.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Martin Mall and Christopher Lloyd and an actor who has
since been found to be awful so we will not name,
but he is inconsequent or just completely coincidentally the bad
guy in this film as well.

Speaker 4 (39:21):
But he gets fired. He's working in this car factory.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
They're living right outside of you know, Detroit or Chicago,
and which is typical of John Hughes. We talked a
lot about John Hughes in an episode that She's having
a baby episode, So if you want to know more
about his life and where he comes from and how
it influenced this movie, definitely listen to that episode, particularly
because after Jack gets fired, his wife Carolyn goes back

(39:50):
to work in advertising, and John Hughes worked in advertising
before he started writing and making films.

Speaker 4 (39:58):
But basically, yeah, like Jack is like, yeah, I got fired.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
It sucks, but I bet you one hundred dollars that
I'll get a job before you will.

Speaker 4 (40:09):
And Carolyn's like, I don't want to take that bet.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
I just want our family to be able to eat. Like,
whoever gets a job great, I.

Speaker 4 (40:16):
Just want to eat.

Speaker 3 (40:18):
So she doesn't take the bet, but she does win
the bet, and so she gets this job and she's
working with she's working in advertising, and let me tell you,
this is another eighties trope that I kind of love,
like the Bad Eighties office, because when she walks into
this place, it is a pit. Yeah, it is a

(40:39):
total pit. There is like smoke hanging in the air,
There's pizza boxes all over the place, like it is
a bleak as fucking hell. And she is put on
the Schooner Tuna account. Her boss, again played by Martin
Maull's name is Ron. Her boss loves her, and as

(41:01):
we come to find out, it might not be for
such innocent reasons as she's a good employee. But she's
put on this fucking job and she's excited to be
back at work and she's just kind of doing her thing,
and I kind of I feel like when I was
watching this this time, I kept wondering, like, who was
our modern day Terry.

Speaker 4 (41:19):
Garr because there's something about her where.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
She was able to play it so funny but so subtly,
and she made all these like just face movements and
eye movements that kind of really told the emotional story
of her characters and almost every movie she was in.
And I don't know if we have a modern day
Terry gar like, is it Jennifer Garner?

Speaker 4 (41:44):
Like I don't know. She was kind of like not
so wholesome that she was.

Speaker 3 (41:48):
Annoying, but like, I don't know, just funny and she
was normal, Like she looked normal, she acted normal, she
responded in normal ways.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah, I'm just she kind of reminds me. I mean,
she just is kind of like a thinking woman's leading
actress type, like she doesn't She seemed like funny but
also kind of like, I don't know, sassy, but not
like two over the top. She kind of reminds me
a little bit of I don't know, like a Tina
Fey or something. I don't know if that's even accurate,

(42:21):
but yeah, I don't know, Like hard to say. There's
so many actresses now remember when in Hollywood when it
was on like four people in Hollywood, But uh, it was.

Speaker 3 (42:31):
Like get Terry gar Bernadette Peters or Linda Fiorentino.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
And maybe Jan Hooks, maybe Chan.

Speaker 4 (42:41):
Yeah, but she's great.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
I just I really appreciated her in this movie because
she wasn't she wasn't so over the top that it
made the situation seem unreasonable or impossible. Like she she
had a very normal reaction to like I have to
go to work. My husband is at home.

Speaker 4 (43:02):
She even treated him like like, yeah, you can do this,
It's fine.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
Like she wasn't living up to the stereotype that we
also sometimes saw in eighties films, which was like and
now the woman's gonna be stressed because she's taking care
of her kids and her biggest kid, her husband. Like
she wasn't that kind of person. So I just really
appreciated her in this movie. But yeah, so he's staying
home with the kids, it's fucking Mayhem from jump Jack

(43:29):
is like he's a mess.

Speaker 4 (43:31):
He's a mess. He he doesn't.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
The grocery store scene is something I haven't seen in years,
and it still makes me laugh. When he's standing at
the deli counter and he's like, I'll have cheese, and
she's like, all right, what do you want, you want cheddar,
you want cold, but you want She's just every time
he says something, she runs through the list.

Speaker 4 (43:48):
But that's not the funny part. The funny part to
me is everyone behind him, who's like, oh, come on.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah, yeah, because he doesn't know the rhythm of how
to shop for groceries. And you know, again, I think
that that is obviously some kind of like gendered statement
to where it's like, oh, here's this idiot who doesn't
even know the difference between like Feta and cheddar or whatever,
and he's just like, give me some ham.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
And he's like, what kind of ham do you want?
And he's just like, oh't no ham.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
And they're just like, fuck, can you just go to
the grocery store like every other week and maybe you
could figure some of this shit.

Speaker 3 (44:21):
Out, you know, just like go together and maybe listen
to how people order shit and figure it the fuck out.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Also another huge, huge trope in films where the fucking
guy has to get period stuff for the life.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
Oh my god, oh god, I love it. He's like
tries to slink over to like this super giant box
of cotex pads because this is the other thing the
movies did They always made it like every period product
comes in a joke bo box and you're just gonna
have to fucking deal with it.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
And they never know the price, so they got to
announce it to the whole store that you're buying fucking
tampons or whatever.

Speaker 3 (45:09):
Eating mcclerk is gonna hop on that mic and be like,
is there a sale on Cotex?

Speaker 4 (45:14):
Like they're gonna embarrass the buck at Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
It's like, I can't believe this man is buying period
stuff or his wife. It's like, Okay, listen, if if
my husband's dick bled every month and I had to
buy him some special like cotton fucking slip on sock
or whatever, I wouldn't be fucking.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
Hung up about it.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
I'd just be like, yo, if you gotta announce it
because no one knows the price, I just sit there
and be like, yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
I gotta do it. What do I want dick blood
all over my house?

Speaker 3 (45:43):
No?

Speaker 2 (45:45):
Like you breath, but I hate, I hate and resent.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
I mean, it is such an old, tired trope for
men to get freaked out about periods, but that shit
still happens.

Speaker 2 (45:55):
Ps.

Speaker 4 (45:56):
Oh my god, I get breathe. What do I want zick.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
It's like, come on, are we really like that embarrassed
these days?

Speaker 4 (46:10):
Jesus, there are people.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
I don't know if you've ever met a person like
this in your real life, but I know I have
known people in my life who were embarrassed to buy
toilet paper for themselves.

Speaker 4 (46:23):
And I'm like, guess what, you shit? I hate.

Speaker 3 (46:26):
I know you think it's a big secret, but you shit.
And I'm so sorry to tell you that anyone who
would like judge you for that in a grocery store
is a fucking robot. No one cares like, yeah, you
have to buy toilet paper sometimes, and if you get
a period, you're like, yeah, I shit and I bleed.

(46:47):
You want to deal with this shit? No, I'm gonna
put it in the toilet and wipe it up, Like
what the fuck buy the goddamn Scott tap Scott toilet paper.

Speaker 1 (46:55):
That is wild to me because I'm just like, why
are we embarrassed about toilet paper? Why are we embarrassed
about pads? I mean, come on, Like, I know this
is the eighties and obviously like it's played up for comedy,
but I do feel like people are still out in
these streets being like.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
God, tampon's ew. I don't want to be seen with
a tampon.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
Im oh I have Like I used to be embarrassed
when I was a teenager buying that shit, because of
course I had to, Like my Grandma made buy them
for her and myself.

Speaker 4 (47:22):
Yeah, and I'd walk up to grand union and be like,
I guess I'm buying pads.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
I don't even have my fucking period yet, but I'm
buying pads for her ass.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
I used to be embarrassed.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
I don't know when it happened, but I crossed the
threshold so hard that now I'm just like juggling Diva
cups down the aisle like I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
You're standing in front of the Diva cup uh display,
being like hey, everybody, nice to meet you.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
I'm Danielle. I fucking love these things and I'll buy
one for you if you want.

Speaker 4 (47:55):
Have you ever heard about have you heard about a
Diva cup?

Speaker 3 (47:58):
I'm like a representative now, like just on a parade
float of my own, just throwing them down the aisles,
going over loop to looping over the aisles like I
don't give a fuck, Like I shit, I have a period.

Speaker 4 (48:10):
I'm buying it. Michael Keaton could not handle it.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
He and he did that other thing, that other trope
which I fucking love and hate in eighties movies where
they take one product and it's top like topples the
whole display. Yes, and he did it like three times,
like he took the grapefruit, he took some baby.

Speaker 4 (48:30):
Shit, and then he did it with the cotex. And
I'm like, you need to learn the lesson to not
grab from the bottom.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
However embarrassing it is for you, It'll be more embarrassing
when you fell this display of fucking pads, Like just
take the box from the top of the middle.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
Come on.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
I loved how literally everything this entire scene was just
designed to make you think that he was the biggest
dumb ass ever.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
Oh and yes, reminder, he's a fucking engineer. He's a
fucking engineer. He might have lost his job, but he
has the education.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
Of an engineer.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
And he can't figure out how to grab a grapefruit
without making the whole thing boll ofv art.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
That's woman's stuff.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
What's also I love how his kids are looking at
him like he's insane. Like his kids, it's past the
point of shame. They are truly concerned, like really, this
dude is who we're gonna be with all.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
Day well, and that's part of what I think might
be like part of like what John Hughes, because I
always feel like John Hughes always writes his the kids
in the movie to be like really funny and smart
and almost like smarter than the adults sometimes.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
And I loved that.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
I love that that was part of this movie too,
where it's like, oh, these kids are eight years old,
but they think that their dad is a fucking idiot, right,
They're like, oh my god, this guy's a dumb ass.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
He doesn't even know how to make a grilled cheese
without ironing it. Like what's going on here?

Speaker 3 (50:07):
You know?

Speaker 2 (50:07):
I love that.

Speaker 4 (50:08):
It's great, It's great.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
And so this and this is also this grocery store
scene is pivotal because this is where we meet Joan
and we're going to talk for a minute about Ron
and Joan. So Joan is played by Anne Gillian Resides
and she's the neighbor. And apparently this is the other
thing that I love. The word is out that he's
going to be alone with the kids. So all the
moms in the area are like, if you need any help,

(50:31):
just let me. Yes, but Joan is a divorce a
and she is like hot for Jack.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
I want to talk about this because Ron and Joan
are both people now in the lives of the Butler
family who are like the threat to the relationship. So
there's something else being said here about women going back
to work, which is like, it will destabilize your whole
fucking relationship because now you're leaving your husband open to

(51:08):
find a woman who will just stay at home and
cater to him. Or if you're a woman going back
to work, your boss is gonna hit on you and
men are going to be all over you at the office.
Like there was just something so insipid about that kind
of thought process, like a woman going back to work
is just going to destabilize everything.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Yeah, because that's the thing is that, like Michael Keaton's
character was being completely little children by.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
These out rich in the neighborhood? Am I right?

Speaker 1 (51:38):
Like they were Kate winslet ing him? Yes, you know,
like definitely Joan. Joan was like, anytime you want to
get maked, just let me know you shamelessly, right, And
there were moments where he had to talk himself out

(51:58):
of it, which I think it's really interesting too, because
he's just like, oh shit, Like, can I control my
male urges because my wife has gone for like a day?

Speaker 2 (52:10):
I guess.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
I guess I have to like look myself in the
mirror and slap my face so I don't fuck another woman.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
I'm like, what in the world she's been gone for
three hours?

Speaker 4 (52:22):
I better really take a hard look at myself. But
it's true.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
It's like it perpetuates the notion that that men were
idiots back then. Like it just perpetuated that that whole
trope of like, you know, they they're idiots, but they
also are insatiable and you can't they can't be trusted alone,
and like the woman's job is to wrangle them so
that they can get through the fucking day.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
Yeah, it's like you have to constantly distract men so
that they don't fucking ruin your lives.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
And what in the world is that? Like God?

Speaker 1 (53:00):
But then and then when you look at the flip
of like you know, you look at Carolyn and who
she has?

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Who is Barton Mole by the way, one of the
creepiest roles he's ever played for my money.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
I'm like, this guy is disgusting and is trying to
wind down in sixty nine this woman, and she's fucking like, uh,
like I have been sexual harassment, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (53:22):
Thank you, thank you. He's like, Okay, oh, you have
to buy Maxi pads. I have the entire dependence our
family is dependent on the fact that I go to
work every day and get sexually harassed, Like I have
to get sexually arressed so we can say a fucking
electric bill.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
Fuck exactly, exactly.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
Ugh, but it's true.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
She's like, I have to go get fucking sexually harassed,
So why don't you figure out how to buy grapefruit?

Speaker 4 (53:46):
And we'll call it even.

Speaker 3 (53:49):
Because my boss is on my fucking jock, I don't
even have time. He doesn't even listen to what I
have to say about Schooner Tuna.

Speaker 4 (53:59):
He's putting me on a.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
Have it plane and flying me to meet the executives,
but doesn't give a shit because he's just trying to
fuck me the.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
Whole time, right, and then the whole the whole thing
about that whole concept too, is that, like you know,
they when she first gets brought into the writer's room
or whatever it is. The advertiser's room, they're all like, god,
another woman, what a dumb ass? Like we can't like
she she doesn't have what it takes to make it

(54:25):
in this world of advertising. But then her the fact
that she was a housewife at one point is suddenly
her asset, where now she knows how to appeal to
other women who are shopping for tuna, and she's she
gets promoted because of it that she's got so many
great ideas and I'm just like wow.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
And that's again, like the beauty of the beauty of
John Hughes as a writer is that he has her
say like from the beginning, well she has a line,
and when she first walks into the room, and they're
all kind of like, yeah, fuck her, like for this,
here's another one we have to ignore. And she literally
says to them, well, when was the last time any

(55:04):
of you were in a grocery store? Right, like you're
trying to develop this this advertising line for tuna? When
was the last time you actually bought some?

Speaker 2 (55:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (55:14):
And so she does like he doesn't dumb her down,
he makes he makes her smart and then forces everyone
to notice that she's smart instead of you know, the
other way that we've seen it in the eighties, which
is like, yep, I guess I'm just a dummy.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
I'll just go along with whatever you say.

Speaker 3 (55:29):
Like she's a smart and competent person who has to
prove herself every day and it's fucking exhausting. Yea, she
doesn't want to come home to this idiot who doesn't
know how to use a vacuum fucking cleaner.

Speaker 4 (55:41):
In her curtains.

Speaker 3 (55:42):
And like, again, my favorite eighties trope is the bad
washing machine.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
Yeah, yes, appliances that go rogue.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Love it, love it. I love it.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
I love a shaky ass washing machine with soap bubble
it all over the place.

Speaker 4 (55:57):
And to truly, he was a fucking not.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
I was cringing watching him put that laundry together, Like
he put in powdered tide, poor, like he was making
a cocktail, poured downy on top of it, put borax
and spray and wash, and like he was just putting
it all in a cup, mix it together with a
screwdriver and then just poured it in the machine.

Speaker 4 (56:22):
And I'm like, I would divorce you for that. I
would truly divorce you for that.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
That to me is the sign of someone who is
only going to make my life a living hell, like
he was truly like fucking Tom Cruise and cocktail with
the washing machine.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
But I love it.

Speaker 3 (56:40):
I love watching a washing machine shake itself off the
foundation hoses everywhere, And that brings me to my other point,
which is the other thing that that Jack is contending
with during this initial during his initial introduction into being
a full stay at home, full time stay at home parent,
for some reason, every repair person on the planet shows

(57:01):
up on the same day at the same time. So
he's got like the TV repair guy, the bug guy,
the fucking washing machine, like everyone's there while this house
is going through total mayhem. The kids are rolling around,
Meg's rolling around in her walker, Alex is making chili,
but she's then feeds to the baby like it's so

(57:23):
funny and charming in that way, like he just feeds
chili to the baby. And then you get my other
favorite trope, Dad's gotta deal with the dirty diaper. Yep,
it's like the chili explosion was hilarious because he's coming
out with like tongs and fucking get like goggles, like

(57:44):
he truly treats it like it's a catastrophic event like
a nuclear event.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
Listen, we know they don't want to deal with periods.
They don't want to deal with baby shit. It's like
they're just they just hate human fluids. They're like, even
though they shit themselves elves, these men just don't want
to deal with any human fluid whatsoever.

Speaker 3 (58:08):
Not even their own, not even their we've all dated
the skid mark God, I truly believe that a bidet
can save a relationship.

Speaker 4 (58:24):
I don't want to know that you don't know how
to wash your ass.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
That would require me doing your fucking laundry, which I
ain't doing.

Speaker 4 (58:34):
So, which I ain't doing.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
Mark to yourself. As far as I answered, if I even.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
See him on the floor, like we're getting down and dirty,
and you take your fucking Joni's off and there's skid
marks in them, pump the breaks.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
They make wipes dude wipes at this point. So you
know what, if you can't even be bothered for that,
then this relationship's over.

Speaker 4 (58:56):
Just wash your ass. It's not that hard. This is
the thing we would as a nation rather.

Speaker 3 (59:01):
Come up with something as ridiculous as a dude wipe
instead of just teaching people how to wash their fucking assholes.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
Just wash your asshole.

Speaker 3 (59:15):
You probably take a shower every day, Turn around and
wash your asshole. Because if I see skin marks anywhere
in my house, you gotta go.

Speaker 4 (59:26):
That is not the sign of a well formed person.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
To me, Well, to also like contend with your own
skin marks but also hate changing diapers is saying you that.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
Skin marks are worse than diapers to me, agreed. Agreed, Well,
the diaper, it's contained, you know what's happening. You're ready
for it, you're prepared for it. A skin mark comes
out of fucking nowhere and just ruins your life. I
am never ready for a skin mark. Not once in

(01:00:00):
my life have I been like, yeah, that's normal. I'm like,
oh fucking hell you too.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
Yeah. It's an all or nothing scenario.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
You either completely shit yourself or it's completely clean.

Speaker 3 (01:00:09):
There's no thank you, thank you, And guess which one's
getting there, dick in me, it's not the one who's
shitting himself unless there's a medical precedent set for that.
They haven't it, So Jack skin mark. Jack can't handle

(01:00:29):
a fucking baby cipher and then he gets depressed. He
gets fucking depressed, and you can tell he's depressed, and
you can tell the time has passed because he grows
a beard and he starts wearing the same flannel shirt
every day, and he's making the grilled cheese with the
iron and he's warming socks in the microwave. I mean,

(01:00:50):
he's basically like Robert Downey Junior and fucking iron Man
and the first one in the cave where He's like,
I guess I have to build my own machine to
keep my heart from exploding. And Jack's like, I guess
I have to put these socks in a microwave because
I can't go near the washer and dryer since that
one time I fucked it up.

Speaker 4 (01:01:09):
This is also how cis het men get you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
They try to do the thing to help, they fuck
it up, and they never do it again. Well, I
guess I just don't know how to wash dishes. I
should never do it again. No, you would to stand
there and fucking learn.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
Yeah, we all did it. It sucks.

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
It fucking sucks. If you can't figure out how to
clean melted pizza cheese off a plate, we will be
eating around melted pizza cheese until you figure it out
because I ain't fucking doing this shit.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
Uugh.

Speaker 4 (01:01:41):
So skid Mark Jack is depressed.

Speaker 3 (01:01:44):
He's considering this affair with.

Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
With Joan and it kind of like ruins him a
little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
Like he's like, you know, he's kind of like playing
poker with his mom friends and he's like, yeah, I
know you think att the house is and the kids
are a mess, and you're a mess. But he gets
his shit together, like after he realizes that he loves
his family and he loves his wife and he doesn't
want to actually have this affair and he just wants
to be a better dude. So the movie ends in

(01:02:14):
a way that you could probably predict. But it is
pretty it's even though I'm making a lot of fun
of him, Like it's pretty charming in this trope of
dads who don't know how to do things. But I
think it's because of what I said in the beginning,
which is like he doesn't have contempt for his family, like.

Speaker 4 (01:02:29):
He just is bad at it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
Yeah, so he just kind of wants to be better
at being a dad and a husband.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
I totally agree, and honestly, like Michael Keaton is one
of the most charming actors in the world, like and
if he wasn't in this movie, I feel like I
would hate it, to be honest, because he absolutely he
makes being a complete dumbass like super cute and fun.
And you're with him on the ride, you're basically like, oh, yeah,

(01:03:00):
he doesn't know how to order him, but that's fine,
he'll figure it out.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
And like, you know, like.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
And you know, honestly, like when it comes down to it,
I feel like, you know, it is that thing where
you're watching this man sort of understand that there are,
you know, there's been gendered roles in the household, and
maybe that that's not a good idea, Like maybe at
some point you should learn how to fucking shop for

(01:03:27):
groceries and you should learn how to fucking you know,
do shit around the house. And you know, I'm just like,
that's a good lesson to learn. As much as we
want love watching him be a dumb ass, that's.

Speaker 2 (01:03:38):
A good lesson to learn, I suppose.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
But this movie is funny and that it's he's so charming,
so I it was actually great to watch it again.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
It was really fun.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
We had a good time watching it again, and my
grandmother laughed so hard, especially when because the baby even
has expressions like, uh shit, are you serious, dude?

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
Ah? Exactly. It just it was.

Speaker 4 (01:04:02):
Really fun and charming.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
And again in this theme and in this vein, it's
one of the better of the It's not babysitting if
it's your own child.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
That is quite right, because man, my movie.

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
Ha, I'm gonna say this right now up top. We
are a film podcasts that likes to be inclusive and
we're not film snobs.

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
We like all kinds of films.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
But I gotta tell you, after I watched my movie
this week, I was like, I need to go watch
Stalker by Andre Tartowski because I need some high minded
shit as a chaser to this very dumb film, and
I might get canceled by the eighties nostalgia police.

Speaker 3 (01:04:55):
My first question, you know, my first question is gonna
be why did.

Speaker 4 (01:04:59):
You pick it?

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
It was like a personal challenge. I guess, Oh, I
guess I should tell you what the movie is.

Speaker 4 (01:05:08):
Yeah, let's get into it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
My movie is from nineteen eighty seven.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
It was written by James Orr and Jim Crookshank, directed
by Leonard Nimoy, and it's called Three men and a Baby.

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
I had to go to three.

Speaker 5 (01:05:21):
Different places by four different kinds of formula, two different
kinds of DIAPERO hell nipple.

Speaker 4 (01:05:29):
Oh boy?

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
I mean, I don't know why I picked this movie
other than I had probably just like a morbid curiosity
to watch it again.

Speaker 4 (01:05:39):
That's fair, That's fair.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
Yeah, Because I'm telling you right now, I have not
seen this film since I was like ten years old,
twelve years old, Like, I haven't seen it since it
pretty much came out, okay, and I seem to remember
absolutely nothing about it except for the part where they
like do want they sing that duop song to the kid.

Speaker 2 (01:06:01):
That's the only thing I remembered from this movie.

Speaker 4 (01:06:04):
I forgot the entire heroine subplot. Yes, me too.

Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
I was like, what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:06:11):
What?

Speaker 4 (01:06:11):
Like, I was like, did they add this in when
they took out the ghost baby? Like what I know?

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:06:17):
And I'm like, the other thing too, is that like
I was shocked, Like when I was reading about the film.
There's so many like details about the film that I
I was shocked by. A chief among them being that
Leonard me Boy directed this movie.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
I know. I didn't know that until Casey put together
our fucking.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
I was listen, fucking plan our agenda for this week.
I was like, wait, what, yes, look and I listen.
I will say right now, I've never seen any Star Trek.
I've just I've never seen a Star Trek.

Speaker 4 (01:06:52):
But you know who Leonard Nimoy is.

Speaker 1 (01:06:54):
I can't even speak to that part of his career,
which is a huge part of his career, right, But
I do know that he did not actually direct many
feature films, right, And I think there was probably only
maybe like a half dozen, like five or six he directed,
and half of those were Star Trek related, Okay, so

(01:07:17):
I didn't see those obviously, and then the other half
that he directed are all literally about adults in predicaments
with babies and young kids.

Speaker 4 (01:07:32):
Look, he was going through it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:35):
This is purely someone who told their agent, all right,
I gotta work. I want to direct, but I also
have to make it look like I'm still thinking about
my family while I'm doing this shit. So why don't
you put me on some bumbling baby movies?

Speaker 4 (01:07:50):
Babies or Space? That is it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
Babies or Space is the name of the episode, by
the way. The So the other thing that I didn't
know actually was that three men and a Baby was
a remake of a French movie.

Speaker 4 (01:08:11):
Also didn't know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:12):
That didn't know that the French movie is called twas um.

Speaker 4 (01:08:18):
Etunkufin beautiful pronunciation.

Speaker 2 (01:08:21):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
And I gotta say I didn't watch the movie, the
French movie, but I did watch the trailer in some clips.

Speaker 2 (01:08:28):
I gotta say it looks better.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
A baby shocker, yes, because it seemed way less corny.
And I think that's just because French people are cool,
but also like they it seemed like they manhandled the
baby a lot more.

Speaker 3 (01:08:44):
Which they have less restrictions in French cinema. They're like,
you could literally drop that baby on the ground.

Speaker 4 (01:08:50):
We do not care.

Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
Europeans are like grabbing a baby by the one foot
and then like circling it around their heads. They were like,
we don't, we don't make them precious here, this is Europe.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
I have also not seen that film. I've not seen
the original French version, but I would be shocked if
they don't eventually take that baby to a soccer game
and just start rolling it around like a flag, saying
o leyo layole, like passing that baby around the crowd
like it's a fucking balloon.

Speaker 4 (01:09:24):
That's volleyball.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
They're volleyballing this kid over the soccer riot that's happening
outside the stadium.

Speaker 4 (01:09:30):
Absolutely so, and this is it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:32):
Okay, So here's the other thing too, Before I get
into the beats of this film, Like, I think I
talked about this.

Speaker 2 (01:09:37):
We might have discussed this in a previous episode. But
like when I was a.

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
Kid in the eighties, every adult in a movie seem
like thirty seven or older, right, So I'm always shocked
really to find out, Like when I go back and
I watch, you know, old eighties movies, I'm like, oh,
that character was like twenty three.

Speaker 2 (01:09:55):
I'm like, really, because they looked thirty seven, right or older?

Speaker 4 (01:09:59):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
And then in this film, these three guys who are
played by Tom Selleck, Steve Gutenberg, and Ted Danson, they
seem like they're in their mid thirties.

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
Bare minimum bear.

Speaker 3 (01:10:13):
These are three actors who have looked like they were
in their fifties since they were born, Yes, all three
of them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:22):
And even in the context of the film, it's like, Okay,
so these guys have thriving careers, so they're not like
just out of college starting starting in the rat race.
They have thriving careers, yet they live together as roommates
in a penthouse in New York City.

Speaker 4 (01:10:40):
I have so many questions.

Speaker 3 (01:10:41):
Already, already we have an artist, an architect, and an actor.

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
Yes, and if you want to get down to brass tacks,
somebody has to own this joint.

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
Because yes, the Steve Gutenberg character who is the.

Speaker 1 (01:10:57):
Artist, has done these like giant wall sized years in
the style of like New Yorker magazine or whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:11:03):
Yes, And there's one.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
Point in the film where it's understood that Tom Selleck
has built extra rooms because he's the architect. And I'm like, so,
who owns this penthouse in New York that these three,
you know, guys in their late thirties living together.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
I don't understand.

Speaker 4 (01:11:24):
I have so many questions.

Speaker 3 (01:11:25):
And look, I'm not going to knock anyone living with
a roommate in their thirties ever. Ever, times so tough,
especially in New York. Shit's expensive. It's these three dudes,
these three extremely successful in their own right, dudes who
can't find in the eighties a single one bedroom fucking apartment.

(01:11:46):
They could all have penthouses on their.

Speaker 4 (01:11:48):
Own, yes, every single one of them, even fucking.

Speaker 3 (01:11:54):
Jack who's the actor who's the least successful of them
could afford a fucking apartment.

Speaker 1 (01:12:01):
Listen, I know that, there's of course reasons, good reasons
why people have roommates in late stage capitalism.

Speaker 3 (01:12:07):
Okay, but but this, this wasn't late stage capital This
is mid stage capitalism.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
School old school capitalism.

Speaker 1 (01:12:16):
But honestly, it just wouldn't be me though, if I
didn't question the nuts and bolts of this fucking fuck
loft that they share.

Speaker 3 (01:12:25):
This is a fucking hope head. Like I'm surprisingly one
baby shows up. These men are goddamn hoes. You know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
I don't even know if I have a one sentence
synopsis for this film.

Speaker 2 (01:12:42):
I just realized that. I was like, yo, we have
just jumped in, and I actually didn't write a synopsis
because I feel like, you know what what it is?
Three men and a baby. That's it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:52):
Three A baby shows up. That's all I gotta know.

Speaker 2 (01:12:54):
That's all I gotta know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:56):
Because here's the thing, Like at the beginning of the
crew of this film, okay, it all throughout literally the
first like twenty thirty minutes of this movie, it makes
it very clear that these guys have a fuck loft
like they just bring home women all day and night,

(01:13:17):
and they really pound home this point. For like I said, oh,
here's like twenty minutes of this movie.

Speaker 4 (01:13:23):
Oh, it is like a revolving door.

Speaker 3 (01:13:25):
Women are passing each other in the elevator and giving
each other that I like, which one are you here
to fuck? Like it is straight up telegraphed. This is
a place that I built extra rooms into. Fuck people
in those extra rooms.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (01:13:42):
And of course I'm not slutshaming the guys from Three
Men and a Baby.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
I okay, but it is.

Speaker 1 (01:13:50):
Such an over overwrought way to like set up the
point of what happens later, which is, ain't it't gonna
be crazy when a little baby shows up to this place?

Speaker 2 (01:14:02):
Like, it's just so hokey to me? Right, It's like,
is so hokey? So that was the first moment that
I was like, what have I done by choosing this film? Uh?

Speaker 4 (01:14:14):
So, then what's the second moment?

Speaker 3 (01:14:18):
When Ted Danson shows up to that party in the
penthouse fuck loft dressed like Bela Lagosi. Ted dancing looks
like a straight up vampire and that's his party clothes.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
He looked like Martin Landau in.

Speaker 3 (01:14:39):
Yeah, basically yeah, and he's like, I'm here to fuck,
and I'm like, who, who are you here to fuck?
Dress like that?

Speaker 2 (01:14:47):
He is a actor, therefore he has to dress like
a European vampire. It didn't make any sense to me,
So Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:14:56):
At this party we fast forward through two glorious stuff
on which I'm actually a fan.

Speaker 4 (01:15:01):
Of, so.

Speaker 2 (01:15:03):
Probably the big point for me in this film basically.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
So it goes immediately to the big plot point of
this film, which Danielle and I just revealed we completely
forgot about, which is that Jack, the ted dancing character,
has this friend at the party that's like, hey, will
you sign for this package while I'm out of town? Okay,

(01:15:29):
And much like any shitty roommate, that person also goes
out of town.

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
So Jack goes out of town.

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
He agrees to do a favor for a guy who's
going out of town, and then he goes out of town.
We've all been there, right, So now it's the problem
of Peter and Michael, who are played by Tom Sella
and Steve Gutenberg, to deal with this delivery twice removed, right,
And essentially what happens is Jack's out of town, Peter,

(01:16:00):
Michael are in the loft, the fuck loft, and then
they're expecting a package to come. And then what happens
is Tom Sella goes out for run, comes back through
the door and realizes that there's a baby on their doorstep. Okay,
And there's a note that's basically like sent by an

(01:16:24):
unknown woman perhaps that says I can't handle it right now.

Speaker 2 (01:16:27):
You take care of it right. We don't know who
or why. It's just a little note attached to the
little bassinet.

Speaker 4 (01:16:33):
Or whatever, but it does say that Jack is the father.

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
Says that Jack is the father. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:16:39):
Now they think this is the package, and so they're like,
holy shit. But what actually happens is another package shows up,
which of course is filled with Heroin.

Speaker 2 (01:16:52):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
And this goes to this whole point where I'm like,
did I not know about Heroin when I was eleven
years old?

Speaker 2 (01:16:58):
Because I forgot about this.

Speaker 3 (01:17:00):
I definitely did, because my stepfather was doing it in
front of me and I still had no idea.

Speaker 4 (01:17:06):
I only fucking forgot that part of this movie.

Speaker 3 (01:17:10):
Yeah, I'd never seen Heroin delivered, to be fair, I'd
only seen it shut.

Speaker 4 (01:17:14):
Out, but I've never seen it delivered. Yeah, like an
Iffany box package.

Speaker 2 (01:17:20):
Yeah it was. It was relatively small, and they tossed
it across the room because they were like the package,
there's a baby here, but it's like, well what about
this other thing? I got to live? They don't care.

Speaker 3 (01:17:29):
Two things I would change, God, I wish I was
a fucking movie or TV writer in the eighties. I
would have cleaned up. The Two things I would change.
One I would have just called this movie the fuck Loft.
And two I would have had that baby do Heroin immediately,
just snort some Heroin immediately.

Speaker 4 (01:17:46):
And now it's the movie. Is the baby's on Heroin?
What are we gonna do is listen.

Speaker 2 (01:17:52):
I'm surprised that's not in the.

Speaker 1 (01:17:53):
French version, right, that just seems like a French thing
to have happened. But instead we have this American version
where you got these two fucking ding dongs fuddling around
with an actual baby.

Speaker 2 (01:18:07):
Now they don't know a goddamn thing. Surprisingly, they don't
know a goddamn thing, right, And at one point this
is so nutrageous to me. Okay, Tom Selick's character.

Speaker 1 (01:18:26):
In the same thing that Michael Keaton's like a successful engineer.
He must have been smart about something, but yet doesn't
know simple fucking things. Tom Selick, an esteemed architect in
New York City, actually asks what is a toddler?

Speaker 2 (01:18:43):
In this film?

Speaker 3 (01:18:45):
I get That's where I lost my shit, when you're
trying to figure out how old his baby is, and
then he realizes he doesn't know any stage of baby
ness at all.

Speaker 1 (01:18:54):
But the way he asked it was like, I don't
even know the word. What is that word?

Speaker 2 (01:19:00):
Like what the fuck? And I'm like, give me a break.
So that was the second part where I'm like, why
did I watch this film? For this episode?

Speaker 3 (01:19:08):
There are four different points within the first hour where
I feel like somebody should have and could have called CPS,
and that was one of them. What is it toddler? Yes, sir,
I'm calling CPS. You have either stolen this child or
you were unfit to parent well.

Speaker 4 (01:19:26):
And then he.

Speaker 1 (01:19:27):
Has, oddly enough, he has the grocery store freeze up
moment where he goes to the store doesn't know what
to fucking buy for a baby, and then of course
has a black woman who's working at the grocery store
have to fucking help his ass out, and I'm like.

Speaker 4 (01:19:41):
Of course, of course, justice for Edna.

Speaker 2 (01:19:45):
Yes, and then they try to change a fucking diaper.
I mean it is a disaster. I mean we see
real babyshit. From what I saw, I was like, I
don't know if that's stunt baby shit, but they're in it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:00):
They're like, shit, let's take wads of cotton and just
like wipe things with cotton.

Speaker 2 (01:20:06):
I'm like, God, what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:20:09):
Truly, how did we survive as a species watching this moment?

Speaker 2 (01:20:13):
Oh my god?

Speaker 1 (01:20:14):
I mean, God forbid, women are somehow eradicated from the earth.
I mean they're trying, they're trying.

Speaker 4 (01:20:21):
They fucking hate women when.

Speaker 1 (01:20:23):
It actually happens. Are these guys gonna take care of
the babies?

Speaker 2 (01:20:27):
Who knows?

Speaker 3 (01:20:28):
But I would have been better off taking her to
Central Park and just like rubbing her ass on her
ass on grass, like just rubbing her ass like a
dog who has fucking piles on the street.

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
So here's the thing.

Speaker 1 (01:20:44):
At this point, they're fumbly bumbly about this baby.

Speaker 2 (01:20:47):
They don't know how to do shit.

Speaker 1 (01:20:49):
On top of this, though, they are cops and drug dealers.

Speaker 2 (01:20:52):
Who are looking for heroine. Okay, so.

Speaker 1 (01:20:59):
The weirdest about this film is that that part of
the story actually just wraps up pretty nicely.

Speaker 2 (01:21:05):
So then we're just left with these like three sluts who.

Speaker 1 (01:21:08):
Were slowly falling in love with this little baby, right
slowly falling.

Speaker 2 (01:21:16):
In love with the little baby.

Speaker 4 (01:21:19):
I change it.

Speaker 3 (01:21:20):
If I was a tea, I was a film writer
in the eighties, I would have called his three.

Speaker 4 (01:21:25):
Sluts and the CPS.

Speaker 3 (01:21:30):
Three sluts, and ten people who should have called Child
Protective Services.

Speaker 2 (01:21:38):
Three sluts and a soddler.

Speaker 1 (01:21:42):
And I will say this, Okay, Tom Selleck definitely falls
the hardest for this baby. And you know, besides the
two glorious Stefan songs that I spoke of earlier, that's
probably my only real favorite part of the movie is
because you know, I don't know, at the time, Tom
Selleck was a huge star, okay, and he seemed a

(01:22:04):
little bit more.

Speaker 2 (01:22:05):
I don't know, he seemed older. I think he was
technically older than the other two. I could be wrong
about that. Maybe Casey wants to weigh in.

Speaker 1 (01:22:12):
Everybody was loving the stash and loving the chest hair,
so the fact that he's the one that becomes like
the real mama bear of this baby is kind of cute.
But even though there are moments again like we talked
about in your movie, where you're just like, I want
to ring these guys next. In one scene, Tom Selek's
character is fucking trying so hard to stay lacho that

(01:22:35):
he can't even buy a kid's toy at a newsstand.

Speaker 3 (01:22:39):
He's like, give me a box of cigars, a penthouse,
and a baby giraffe.

Speaker 4 (01:22:44):
You're like, really, really, sir.

Speaker 3 (01:22:47):
Also, why are they selling that on the street New
York City in the eighties?

Speaker 4 (01:22:51):
What the fuck? They're like, here's baby toys next to cigars?

Speaker 2 (01:22:55):
Yeah, exactly, no.

Speaker 1 (01:22:56):
And Colin Quinn is the guy that's working the thing,
and he's basically like screaming. He's doing the whole like
you know, price check on Tampon's move where he's like.

Speaker 2 (01:23:05):
Hey, this old guy's buying a kid's toy.

Speaker 4 (01:23:10):
Well.

Speaker 3 (01:23:10):
Also, Colin Quinn was like, that's not a giraffic a dinosaur,
And I'm like, this again, is the most quintessential old
New York move where he's like, you don't know what
you're fucking talking about. I do, because I sell this
shit all day. Although I don't know what I'm talking about,
I'm gonna fight you about it.

Speaker 1 (01:23:30):
Yes, and it's just like, it's just the whole notion
of like, imagine be imagine being so flustered by the
notion of appearing at all feminine that you can't buy
a toy on the street. It's just like, God, bless
man like men?

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
What is wrong? What is wrong with men? Basically, I
don't understand.

Speaker 3 (01:23:54):
The subtitle of this podcast. Also, they made Tom sell
like the jock in this movie, and.

Speaker 4 (01:24:00):
It clearly should have been Gutenberg.

Speaker 3 (01:24:03):
Steve Gutenberg was trying to calm down a crying baby
by flashing his chest hair.

Speaker 4 (01:24:12):
He genuinely is like, look at this chest hair. Huh.

Speaker 2 (01:24:16):
They were trying. They really had chest hair popping in
this film. I mean they just were. And you know,
I'm here for that. I'm here for the fucking here
suit selic era.

Speaker 4 (01:24:26):
I'm on. I mean he was the definition of buns.
Like whenever I heard my mom and.

Speaker 3 (01:24:32):
Her friends talking about buns, I'm like, what the fuck
is a buns? And it was always Tom Selick's ass.
He is, to his credit, he's a very high assed gentleman.

Speaker 1 (01:24:45):
Yes he does have that high ass, but you know what,
like in this era, it was his prime era. Man
I'm like, good glad that mustache is popping. Now we
have to pivot very hard to this part of the
film because this is what the film the urban legend.

(01:25:05):
Oh yeah, this film, which is the ghost of the
dead child in the window. Okay, And here's here's the thing.
I'm not gonna lie to you. When it happened in
the movie, it.

Speaker 4 (01:25:21):
Made me sick.

Speaker 1 (01:25:22):
I forgot I was there, and I was like, holy shit,
what the fuck is that?

Speaker 2 (01:25:30):
And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll
set it up for you real quick.

Speaker 4 (01:25:32):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:25:33):
So the scene goes like this Jack is, he's gone,
he's in Turkey for a role. Okay, realizes that he's
now father, freaks the fuck out of course, and then
calls his mom, right, because that's another thing, is the
fucking guys like my own child. I have to call
a woman, some woman in my life, woman, any woman
who can help. And his mother is played by the

(01:25:55):
classic film actress Celeste Home. So she shows up at
the fuck laft and in the background as they're walking
there's this like shadowy figure hiding behind this like white
gauzy curtain.

Speaker 2 (01:26:09):
And all throughout our childhood it was.

Speaker 1 (01:26:12):
Understood again within like the culture that that was the
ghost of a child that died on the set of
the film.

Speaker 4 (01:26:24):
I get, I love.

Speaker 3 (01:26:27):
Rumors like that don't and can't really happen anymore because
there's too much fact checking available.

Speaker 4 (01:26:33):
But back in the.

Speaker 3 (01:26:33):
Day, we were just like, yeah, I saw this movie
once and I fucking believe it. And my only option
is to pause a video cassette tape and that is
not going to give me the definition and clarity I
need to confirm or deny this, so I will just
believe it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:49):
Right And like again, now that we live in the
modern four K restoration era, this has been debunked.

Speaker 2 (01:26:54):
I mean, go online and find out what it actually is.
It's like a cardboard cutout of Ted dancing.

Speaker 4 (01:27:00):
Can you see you later in the movie?

Speaker 1 (01:27:02):
Yeah, yeah, it's in the movie. But there was this
entire segment of our childhood where we believe the child.

Speaker 2 (01:27:09):
Died on the set of Three Men and a.

Speaker 4 (01:27:11):
Baby and was a visible ghost.

Speaker 3 (01:27:17):
That this hit died, And instead of shutting down production,
they were just like, show must go on, Let's keep
that ghost in there.

Speaker 2 (01:27:26):
It's crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:27:27):
We were so dumb in the eighties.

Speaker 1 (01:27:30):
We're so dumb and just wanted it. We just wanted
things to be true like that, and we're willing to
even though the film was not like it was. It
wasn't built on a haunted burial ground. It was like
a set in Hollywood and everyone's like a child died there.

Speaker 2 (01:27:46):
It's haunted.

Speaker 1 (01:27:47):
We're like, okay, we want this to be true, but
as we know it's not. Thank you Snopes. But here's
the thing. This movie wraps up in just the way
you think. Okay, it's like, guess what mom is coming
back in the picture. Suddenly it's Nancy Travis with the
worst accent I've ever heard.

Speaker 3 (01:28:05):
I mean, I was like supposed to be from the
UK or from London, and I think that's why they
also keep that baby in bonnets like NonStop.

Speaker 4 (01:28:15):
I'm like, is this just just so you can like
let us know that she's half English? Like let's put
it in a fucking bonnet and a bassinette filled with lace.

Speaker 1 (01:28:24):
She looks like miss pat Moore from Babby Ah, Like
she must be British.

Speaker 5 (01:28:32):
Ah, baby, this baby didn't say a fucking cham Oh good.

Speaker 1 (01:28:45):
It wraps up just the way you think the mom
comes back, and then suddenly these three guys are like, well, wait,
we love this baby, to which I'm like, well, then
go have a baby with one of the literal thousands of.

Speaker 2 (01:29:00):
Women you have fucked in this loft.

Speaker 3 (01:29:03):
Oh my god, Go find the children you undoubtedly already have.
Just go to a DNA test and discover your legions
of children.

Speaker 2 (01:29:17):
I mean, okay, here's the thing.

Speaker 1 (01:29:20):
Okay, I think it's obvious that I thought this movie
was a giant piece of shit. I mean, like, even
if we're working off the straight eighties nostalgia of this film,
which undoubtedly there are, this simple inclusion of Steve Gutenberg
means people will love this film. Okay, I get it,

(01:29:41):
the clothes, the mustaches, like everything.

Speaker 2 (01:29:44):
But at the end of the day, am I supposed to.

Speaker 1 (01:29:47):
Just simply love a movie because of Steve Gutenberg's nostalgia
and eighties men's tiny running shorts? I mean, am I
that basic?

Speaker 2 (01:29:56):
I don't know. I'm trying people, and.

Speaker 1 (01:29:59):
Maybe I get canceled by the eighties nostalgia police, but
I'm just like, I don't know, this movie is so dumb.

Speaker 2 (01:30:05):
It's so dumb, it's not good.

Speaker 1 (01:30:08):
And listen, I mean, this was the highest grossing movie
of nineteen eighty seven, which and it surpassed Fatal Attraction,
which is a movie.

Speaker 2 (01:30:18):
That I love. So I'm wrong, I'm on the wrong
side of history.

Speaker 3 (01:30:21):
Okay, you've just proven your own point that people hate women.
They couldn't handle Glenn Close fucking stalking a dude that
she fucked and boiling his kid's rabbit.

Speaker 4 (01:30:33):
They'd rather focus on these.

Speaker 3 (01:30:34):
Three idiots who couldn't even fuck You. Didn't even know
what a fucking toddler tooth was. They were like, does
she have teeth? What could she eat?

Speaker 4 (01:30:42):
Something? Soft?

Speaker 3 (01:30:45):
America has always been that basic. They would prefer three
men and a.

Speaker 4 (01:30:49):
Baby to Fatal Attraction.

Speaker 3 (01:30:53):
Nineteen eighty seven is a pinnacle moment where we can
point to where this country started to going down the
fucking drain.

Speaker 1 (01:31:02):
Yeah, this movie is one hundred percent boomer nostalgia.

Speaker 2 (01:31:05):
There's a lot of things here about.

Speaker 1 (01:31:07):
A lot of like doo woppy boomer nostalgic moments. Yes,
Tom Selleck is wearing tiny shorts and has a has
a turn of Mama Bear turn. But beyond that, I mean,
the movie is really stupid. It's really stupid, and I
mean it's not even your movie, which is like interesting
gender role dynamics being questioned and you know, like that

(01:31:31):
kind of stuff. But it's like, man, this one is
just pure saccharine and the look there's a place for that.
But was I really putting my film snob hat on
and been like I need to go to Film Forum
after this and watch a Eric Rohmer retrospective.

Speaker 2 (01:31:51):
To think this bad taste out of my mouth. Yes,
I did think that.

Speaker 3 (01:31:54):
I did think that, So I think that's completely fair
because I watched it, and then in order to get
the taste of it out of my mouth, I watched
about two hours of Family Feud with my grandma and
I got to hear Steve Harvey ask things like if
King Kong wore a fanny pack, what.

Speaker 4 (01:32:09):
Would he keep inside of it?

Speaker 3 (01:32:11):
And that was the only thing it took to get
me out of this mindset where I was like the
eighties sucked. Men were seen as completely incomfident for too long,
and they used it as their fucking barometer to be
idiots for way longer than they had to be or.

Speaker 4 (01:32:27):
Should have been.

Speaker 3 (01:32:29):
America hates women, like this movie really brought some shit
out in me that it was not designed to bring out.

Speaker 1 (01:32:35):
Yes, it's sneaky in that way, but I wasn't. I
was like, oh my god, I can't believe I made
Danielle watch this movie. Did you find anything positive in it?

Speaker 2 (01:32:44):
Like at all? Oh, I found it.

Speaker 4 (01:32:47):
I definitely laughed at how stupid it was.

Speaker 2 (01:32:50):
Like it was.

Speaker 3 (01:32:51):
I remember seeing it as a kid and laughing for
different reasons like oh haha, they're idiots. But like when
I was looking at it now, I was like, this
is just a it's absurd that we got away with it.
I laughed at how much we got away with as
a nation back in the day.

Speaker 2 (01:33:08):
Look this week, I gotta be honest.

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
I came into this week thinking it was going to
go one way, and now we've really taken it into
another direction. We've been talking about skid marks, baby shit,
like we somehow derailed the train, but it's back on course,
and you know, when it comes down to it, Like,

(01:33:33):
I don't know, it's fun to look at movies like
this once in a while. I mean, obviously, like they're
supposed to be dumb and fun and broad comedies, and
they're supposed to make a lot of money. But you
know what, sometimes you internalize some of the messages that
you see in films like this. You're like, that was
really fucked up, wasn't it. Yes, I can't believe I've
been carrying this since nineteen eighty three.

Speaker 3 (01:33:56):
Yes, I think that is an important lesson. Sometimes not
every is gonna be like, we love the shit out
of it.

Speaker 4 (01:34:02):
It belongs in the cannon.

Speaker 3 (01:34:04):
Sometimes you're like, this movie should be sent in a
time capsule into space, and we should only remember Ted
Danson for the work he's done on Cheers and after
he stopped dyeing his hair, Give me a board to death,
Ted Dancin, give me a good place, Ted Dancin.

Speaker 4 (01:34:22):
Yeah, Goots.

Speaker 3 (01:34:23):
I don't know what Goots has been up to. I
think he's just been straight lifting weight since nineteen eighty seven.
And that's fine. Leave us with the memory. Shoot the
movie into space. Sometimes it be like that.

Speaker 1 (01:34:35):
Yes, And I believe Tom Selleck is now exclusively a
CBS star.

Speaker 2 (01:34:40):
I know this because my parents watch all of the
shows that he's on.

Speaker 3 (01:34:43):
So oh, I can tell you for a fact that
he's on fucking Blue Bloods because guess we watch on
Ion every Tuesday.

Speaker 4 (01:34:49):
It's on all day.

Speaker 2 (01:34:51):
Ah, there you go, there you go.

Speaker 1 (01:34:54):
Well, look this week was wild and we appreciate you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:35:01):
If you have.

Speaker 1 (01:35:03):
Anything to say about any of these films, please email us.
We're at I Saw What You Did Pod at gmail
dot com.

Speaker 4 (01:35:12):
You can also send us real letters.

Speaker 3 (01:35:14):
We have a PO box that you can find on
our link tree, which is on our link to our
Instagram account, and you can find us on all of
our socials at I Sawpod on Instagram and Twitter.

Speaker 2 (01:35:27):
That's right, and look we got that merch.

Speaker 1 (01:35:31):
We've got disposable diapers with our faces on them. It's
over in the Exactly Right shop at exactly Rightmedia dot com.

Speaker 4 (01:35:41):
We have earth ruining.

Speaker 3 (01:35:45):
Disposable diapers that are laced with cocaine. We've cut a
little hole, a little box in each of them, packed
them with heroin and cocaine.

Speaker 4 (01:35:56):
To keep you away from the cops. Just go and
buy them.

Speaker 1 (01:36:00):
We have created bespoke heroin stashing disposable diapers and Diva cups.
We've got everything you'd ever want, all of our merch.

Speaker 3 (01:36:10):
Baby bottles filled with formula that you could score into
directly into your coffee.

Speaker 4 (01:36:16):
Oh there's a formula shortage. Not at our shop.

Speaker 2 (01:36:20):
It's only to be used for coffee, not for babies.

Speaker 3 (01:36:23):
Sorry, I cannot use it for babies. It's in the bylaws.
When you click, I accept. And if you use that
formula for your baby, then we got to come after you.

Speaker 2 (01:36:33):
Oh my god. Well, look, we don't have an episode
next week.

Speaker 4 (01:36:37):
We do, thankfully from us.

Speaker 2 (01:36:40):
You need a break from this episode.

Speaker 1 (01:36:43):
We do have a bonus episode though, coming out on Thursday,
July seventh, so look for that. And do you want
to talk about the movies for the next regular episode.

Speaker 3 (01:36:54):
Yes, the next regular episode, which will be out on
July twelfth, Your homework is going to be to watch
in the Mood for Love from the year two thousand
and Days of Being Wild from nineteen ninety Damn, guess
that theme.

Speaker 4 (01:37:11):
Here's a hint. It is not included. Neither movie includes
a fuck loft.

Speaker 2 (01:37:19):
That's a good hint.

Speaker 4 (01:37:20):
Actually, you will not see a skid mark a narrowan
actor in next week's films.

Speaker 1 (01:37:29):
Fuck, they were so in one of these movies they
wish it was a fuck loft.

Speaker 2 (01:37:33):
Am I right on that note, Danielle. It is a
pleasure to read this podcast with you. I laughed so much.
Thank you so much for doing it.

Speaker 3 (01:37:46):
Thank you so much. Let's just hope that we all,
you know, get some sleep caretakers. I see you, I
see you out there.

Speaker 2 (01:37:52):
All right, guys, see you soon.

Speaker 4 (01:37:54):
HYI bye.

Speaker 3 (01:38:01):
This has been an exactly right production, produced and mixed
by Casey O'Brien. Our theme song is by Tom bry Fogel,
artwork by Garrett Ross. Our executive producers are Georgia Hartstart,
Karen Kle, Gareth and Daniel Kramer. You can follow us
on Instagram and Twitter at I Saw Pod, and you
can email us at I Saw What You Did Pod
at gmail

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I Saw What You Did - Babies or Space

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