August 8, 2022 • 70 mins
Blair welcomes her old friend Andrew Collin (Welcome Home Nikki Glaser) to the pod. He professes his love to a well known childhood television star.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, and welcome back to another week of Deal
and Wilson. I'm having so much fun. This episode is
so funny. One of my oldest friends. He's hilarious. He
tours all of the country with Nicky Glazer. Um. You
can see him on Nicky Glazer's new reality show, Welcome
Home Nicki Glazer. Uh, he's so funny on that I
(00:22):
don't know. His name is Andrew Colin and you guys
probably know him. Uh. He was the He was on
the first Dero and Wilson Live show that we ever did,
and he was just killed it. He's so funny and
he has the craziest stories. Is one of the best
storytellers I know. We were truly laughing our asses off
(00:43):
in this episode, which you will hear. Yeah, oh I'm sorry. Also,
everyone who was coming to the shows in Minneapolis and
Chicago with Ron Funches, I became very ill and had
to miss. My body just shut down, I guess from
all the traveling. UM. But Jay fl was really fun
and it's always such an honor to be able to
(01:03):
go to Montreal. It was the first, just for last
they had in three years UM because of COVID, so
it was very exciting. The variety thing went really well.
I was really nervous, so that was good. But then
I just guess my body was like, Okay, shut down
time now, bitch. Um. We recorded a really fun episode
(01:24):
at JFL Live, Episode two, which I'm excited for you
guys to hear. I want to keep doing um some
more live episodes because they're really really fun. Um. Okay,
I love you guys. That's all there is to report. Um,
send me your d M s. Let me know how
you're liking a podcast. Post about it. If you like
(01:44):
an episode, that would be good, Give me some reviews,
fast stars, bitch, I'm working my ass off for you.
I love you. We're family. Tell a friend, Yeah, help
support the pod so we can keep this going. I
think I'm at sixty three. Use I need to get
those numbers up, babe. Um okay, please enjoy this episode
(02:06):
with Andrew Colin. It's so funny. I think you guys
are gonna love it just like I did. Okay, have
a great week. Yeah, be find some joy and happiness
where you can. You know, life is short. We gotta
do this. We gotta have a laugh, we gotta have
a hug. We gotta have some pasta and some cheesecake. Um,
hug a tree, you know, breathe some clean air. We
(02:28):
gotta do that. It's passing by, you know. Anyways, Love you, enjoy,
Love you by. Welcome everybody back to another episode of
the Deer o In Wilson Podcast with your host Blair
(02:52):
sop Kid. Ask me, Blair, what a treat do I
have for you guys today? One of my oldest, dearest
friends in comedy, one of the funniest men. You might
know him from the critically acclaimed series Surfer Boy as
my stepdad. Rick, also starring in the Nicky Glazer reality
(03:16):
show on E and currently towards Nicky Glazer has his
own podcast, Puddles. Please welcome my friend Andrew calling everybody.
(03:38):
Thank you. That was a lovely introduction oldest, and that's
I'm just projecting here, and it hurt for something. It
felt like there's something like oh old like it didn't
feel like we go way back. It felt like I
go way back. And then you met me about sixty
years into my life. That's what it's. No, that's not
(03:59):
what I met And I meant like I met you
like early on in my comedy, like I think I
met you year one. Yeah, I'm trying to think where
we met. Probably uh, No Malice Palace, if I had.
That's so funny. I was literally just trying to think
of the name of No Malice Palace. I was envisioning
it and couldn't remember what the name was. Yeah, they
(04:22):
all had kind of weird names. They were just dark
and disgusting, and everyone pretended to like each other. It
was great. It was a great environment. Isn't it crazy
how these open mic places are all somehow pitch black
during the middle of the day, Like, how are they
so dark? I have no idea who goes in there?
I mean, you know, I guess cocaine is still a
(04:45):
hell of a drug in New York City, And that's
the only thing. I don't know. Who would go down
there without doing an open mic, you know what I mean? Like,
who's the guy going back there to hang out in
the dark at two pm? It's just then you have
to go down like seven flights of stairs to get
to a bathroom, and it's terrifying, and you're like, all right,
(05:05):
is this p worth dying? I don't know, but hey,
it's our dream heaven. Hey, we're following our dreams. Open
mics are seriously some of the most terrifying places on earth.
I can only imagine as a woman when you're like
one of like four women in a dungeon. You know,
(05:26):
I mean, I guess I could turn you on a
little bit, but you know I didn't confidently say I
never once spell turned on, not even one time. Come on, remember,
I feel like another one we used to go to
was um Eastville Comedy Club before they redid it. Oh yeah,
where you had to pay five dollars to do five minutes.
(05:50):
It's it's wild to think about what I what we did.
It's not like we went to like Vietnam or something.
But it does feel like when I think back at it,
that if I had to do that now, I would quit,
uh four days ago, you know what I mean? Like yeah, yeah, no,
I I can't believe it either. Like people have no
(06:11):
idea the indignities involved with comedy. I guess the only
people that really know are the parents of comedians. Like
I remember being like a year in and I was
like barking for hours every Friday and Saturday for free,
like in the snow. Not exaggerating, and one of my
parents friends. Was in New York visiting and like came
to my shitty Village lantern show and told my parents
(06:35):
and my dad was like, so you were doing that
for free? Why why would you do that? He was
so horrified, he was so sad. I mean, I don't
know why. It's so hard to ask for money when
(06:56):
you're doing a creative passion. But for some reason, I
think I deserve of three million dollars from a real
estate deal where I did no work. You know. That's hilarious. Yeah,
Like it's like I don't know, it's just like maybe
if I put a tie on, I would like to
pay me, you know, maybe in like a shitty jan
sport backpack. I don't as a thirty year old man,
(07:19):
I don't deserve a dollar. No. It is confusing, like
you you do have to as you get older, it
gets real fast. You have to like train your mind
that you're like, uh no, this I need to eat. Yeah,
I have value. I still don't feel that way completely,
but it's definitely like I'm getting closer to thinking I
(07:43):
deserve to be worth something. You know. Hell, yeah, I know.
I'll fight in the good fight every day. Um yeah,
Well I'm so excited to have you on today. I
don't say who you're going to read your letter too,
but you you were on actually the first Dear Owen
(08:03):
Wilson that there ever was, and it was one of
the funniest things like I'd ever heard in my life. Um.
I kind of I was sad you weren't gonna read
your letter to Dave matthews Man because that one was
so incredible. But I am so excited for you to
read this one. So, um, if you could just go
ahead now and read us our letter, okay, um, yeah,
(08:27):
sorry that it's not Dave. Um. I felt like switching
it up. I thought you would want me to switch
it up. You know you can always you know, come
as you are here, but I know this one is
going to be equally as good. Alright, So so I
guess I should say the first and last name up
top right, so to say dear so and so, and
(08:48):
then we'll go Dear Ben Savage. Yea, I felt like
you were to paying a girl for sure. Oh oh
my god, like looking back on it, we'll talk later,
we'll talk out to your letter. Alright, Dear Ben Savage.
First of all, fuck Fred, I'm sure, as kids, it's
(09:12):
I came in hot I gave him. I don't know
if I needed the exclamation mark. Yeah you did, good guy.
That's the whole letter. I wrote it in blood. Okay,
first of all, fuck Fred. I'm sure as kids, your
(09:35):
parents often said, why can't you have a hit TV
show like your older brother who salary pays for our mortgage,
the country club membership, four of the same gold Mercedes,
and multiple trees in Israel. It couldn't be easy having
(10:00):
an older brother be so successful at such a young age.
I get it. My older brother made millions of dollars
while I picked up dogshit with both hands for a living. Sometimes,
while picking up the dog shit, I thought, w W
Y B s D. What would young Ben Savage? Do
you know what you did? He started your own hit
TV show, Boy Meets World In I was a thirteen
(10:24):
year old boy waiting for my first pube, desperate to
figure out who I was. My parents were newly divorced
and I needed an escape. Like you, Ben, I had
jewish curly hair like you, Ben, I was never a
ladies man like like you Ben. I got by on
(10:45):
humor to protect my heart. Your show was there for me.
Corey Matthews was there for me. I have pubes now,
and I had a bit of success myself. I'm on
a reality TV show and in most scenes I'm giggling,
sticking my tongue out and staring off into the distance
looking like I'm about to kill a puppy. You inspired me, Ben,
(11:10):
Thanks for making me feel less alone. Ben. Oh my guys,
that was so good. Bravo, Andrew, thank you. Oh my god, God,
we have so much to talk about. Holy sh it,
Oh my god, I am overwhelmed. First, Andrew, I must
make an absolutely insane, insane confession. But as my private
(11:38):
detective Lucian Wiggles was briefing me to prepare for this interview,
that was the moment, and I swear to go out
in my life. That was the moment right before this
that I learned that Fred Savage is Ben's older brother.
I had absolutely no idea they were related, and then
(12:01):
as soon as I found out, I was like, oh
my god, of course they're like basically fucking twins. Yeah yeah,
I for I don't know when I found out. Um,
Wonder Years played a little bit Wonder Years I was.
I remember it being important to me, but I was
still too young for it to be important, you know
what I mean, Like, and I'm trying to I don't
(12:23):
know when I found out that both Savage brothers were
killing it, but uh, yeah, I have gone my whole
life without knowing that that's insane. Well you know y'
also and twins are sisters. This feels like the moment
like six years ago when I found that ridiculous was
(12:43):
spelled with an eye instead of an E. It was
absolutely heartbreaking. Yeah, I found out that um it wasn't
um off hooding. I thought it was till I was
well to my thirties. Yeah, I thought, I swear to guy,
(13:14):
how you're laughing at me is very off. I gotta
be honest. You didn't. It makes sense. It makes sense.
It makes sense, you know I was. And then I
also told I remember I thought it was hyanus for
a long time. And I I told this guy, Mr Roy,
(13:37):
we had like a class reunion from my high school.
And he goes, wow, you look in shape Andrew like
an old teacher. I go, yes, Mr Roy, actually I've
been taking a hyenus off of lifting. And he just
looked at me like, well, my my job was not done.
Uh Mr Rory did not do his job. Hi anus hilarious?
(14:04):
Oh my god. Um, I thought it was play it
by year. I never understood. I was like, that doesn't
make any sense. I was like, but I said it
for my entire life. I said, yeah, let's play it
by year. I mean as a volleyball player, I guess like, look,
wait till sophomore year. Like you know, like I just
(14:27):
got nepads and like I'm really feeling myself, Like God, Andrew,
isn't it crazy how volleyball has become like the cornerstone
of every cult. Like literally, like if you have a cult,
you play volleyball. And I mean it's just a way
for guys to like play with women and not seem creepy.
(14:48):
Oh I set you up, you spike and sweet? All right?
I like your drink too. Everything. I just kidding, am
I who knows? Wilson? Okay, of coding, this is what
(15:11):
happens when you do an afternoon record Pals. Everything goes
really loopy, Okay. According to Lucian Wiggles, Ben Savage graduated
from Stanford University, where he was a member of the
Sigma Cli fraternity. Andrew what fraternity. Were you in? I
(15:31):
was a pike at two Lane, and uh, you know
these kids that get into Stanford that are a big
time actors. Do you think they have to do? You
think he had to get over a fourteen hundred. I
don't believe it. I don't I don't know. I'm not sure. Yeah,
because stuff does get murky. They're like, you see all
these actors getting like honorary degrees, and it's like, how
(15:52):
do you get an honorary degree when you didn't go
to any of the classes. Okay, they don't know fucking
what off pudding is. I'm going to get that went
to Harvard? Maybe she got in, I like normally who knows?
You know, well, she did do the work because she
actually got a degree in Russian literature so that she
(16:13):
could read deutstf Ski in Russian. I mean, who does who?
Who does that help? I'm not sure. It sounds like
someone had something to prove. Huh Okay, yeah, well I was.
I was having Lucien do a little bit of a
(16:34):
deep dive into some of them. Ben Savages co stars
and right or Strong. Funny that you bring this up
about the actors in the Ivy leagues because I noticed
Lucien told me that right or Strong went to Colombia
and he was there the same time as Julia Styles
and like a few other actors, like big actors at
(16:56):
that time. Yeah, I mean, look, maybe they are smart,
you know. I mean he did get into Sigma Kai,
which is a big time fraternity, you know. I mean
it's a Jewish fraternity. He's a Jewish kid. You know,
I'm Jewish, So like you know, I was I hated fraternity,
(17:19):
I really did. I was just gonna say, how was
your time in Pike because I feel like you would thrive,
but like not in a bad way. Um, I didn't. Um,
I never hated anyone. That's positive, dude. But did you
get Hayes? Because I did. I got Gnarly Hayes for volleyball. Really,
(17:42):
like what we had a whole thing, like it was
um for freshman year. There's a big party, I think.
I don't know if it was the first weekend of school,
but we were in season and you know, as a
little sister in my household, like I was training my
whole life for this um. So like literally they could
have poured gasoline in my eyes and I wouldn't have
(18:04):
even made a fucking peeple. But like there were seven
freshmen my freshman year of volleyball, and um, like they
cut up all our uniforms, drew sharpie all over our faces. Um,
they taped like pads and tampons all over us. They
corey made us choreograph a dance and they got They
(18:24):
gave us a handle. They gave us a handle of
vodka that we had to finish in five minutes and
four The girls didn't drink, so it's like me and
two other chicks that had to down the whole bottle
with the and a loaf of bread and then um yeah,
and then they had a big party and they'd blow
the whistle and we'd have to do the dance anytime
(18:45):
they blowed the whistle, looking like so fucked up and disgusting,
and all these girls were crying, and I was like
having the time of my life, like mouthing off, you know. Yeah.
It was like I was like, oh, you want me
to do a little dance. You think I'm gonna cry
over that? Please? Yeah? I I guess. Um. We did
(19:06):
this thing where they would put crab boil, like the
stuff where they cook you know crawfishing. Yea, they poured
down our pants and uh, it's beyond It's not just hot,
it's like you can't displace it with water. You have
to pour milk on your genitals too, so it's like
(19:27):
an it's like a third degree burn, our first degree burn.
What's funny you say that? Actually Pike is no longer
on campus because they actually did burn burn a kid. Um,
how do you have to fucking be people are just sick. Well,
the saddest part is the kid never made it as
a child actor. You had so much potential until that. Hazing. Yeah,
(19:57):
I know, hazing and male fraternity is honestly sick because
they can't just ever make it fun or silly. It
always has to get like dangerous and like physically harmful somehow. Yeah,
it's um. You know we did this thing though, where
uh we would take the house back. So as freshman,
there was like forty of us they and we went
(20:19):
and we stormed the house and we we hammered in
all this wood like they couldn't get in. And then
that's really funny. And then what we did is we
we oh this is a different day, but we we
we pulled the fire alarm. That was a different day.
And then we we put oil on the stairs. And
then one of the guy's ship in a pizza box. God,
(20:42):
oh my god, So I know I say this like
it was yes, like hey, so anyways, yeah, like real
like chill. So he ships in a pizza box. And
then one of the biggest meat heads in the fraternity
(21:03):
he hurt his knee because he fell down the stairs,
and he was so angry he wanted to kill everyone.
He threw a table on one of the kids. Yeah,
because he could have also died slipping down the stairs.
But we all know that he fell. He fell in
this ship, you know, Like, but you could act as
(21:23):
tough as you want, but we all know you got
some human ship on you. You know. So that was college. Yeah, No,
college was crazy, and I'm glad we made it out.
I mean, we've been through we've been through some stuff. Wow. Okay, uh, Andrew,
(21:54):
this is so fun. I don't want this to ever
and okay, Andrew Lucien has uh yes, Okay, So when
I found out that Fred Savage from human ship to
(22:19):
Fred back to Fred, Okay, what's up? I love the
idea of the bully the hazing bully diving head first
into a pizza box of human ship. Men men are
not well, like truly, men are unwell in every way.
It was yeah, and it wasn't a little bit of
ship because we ate the old pizza. But anyways, what
(22:43):
speaking of men, they were unwell. When I found out
like that, it was so crazy Fred Savage having this
crazy career comeback in Friends in college and then he
was in that new Apple TV show with Tim the Arish,
and then equally great to his comeback was his fault
(23:04):
from Grace by way of sexual misconduct, like so many
of the greats. Yeah, he he was on a new
production because he just started like NonStop booking new shows
and then they had to shut down the production because
of sexual misconduct played by Year Pudding. I'll tell you
(23:32):
what it's off putting. Wait so wait why I love
that we're talking about Ben, but we're like, look, let's
get let's burn Fred one more time. Like no, I
just find the whole thing shocking because I just like,
it's hard to believe that I could not know that
they were brothers until an hour before this, Like I'm stunned.
(23:55):
I do love that Ben at the beginning of his life,
told every buddy, I'm Fred's brother, and now not so much.
You know, well, that's so crazy. There's a lot of
like Dave Franco had to deal with that. You know.
I guess any brother or a sibling of all the
many people, Um, Kevin Spacey's sister brother isn't stoked. You know.
(24:22):
Einstein guy had a brother, didn't he And no one
talks about him. No one talked about what it was
like to be a brother. I have a I have
a buddy. He's a twin his older. His twin brother
is a huge country star and he's you know, and
you know, sells insurance. Yeah, what's that like? Uh, he
(24:46):
drinks a lot? Right, Because we did also know a
comedian in the open mic scene many years ago whose
sister was a major, major movie star. Oh yeah, Anne Hathaway.
I know. That's why I said, buddy playing by year
(25:08):
should have took a hyenus on that one. I don't
know if that works. Yeah, it was Anne Hathaway's brother
who also, by the way, I have always stood by
when the world turned on Anne Hathaway for no reason,
(25:31):
which I look back, that's just a treacherous shameful time
in history when people turned on Anne Hathaway for no reason,
and I was out there on Twitter doing the good fight, saying, hey,
get off Anne, all right, what have you guys accomplished? Nothing? Okay?
According to Lucian Winkles, one of the one of the
(25:53):
few times Ben and Fred shared the stage together was
when Fred guests are as a lecherous professor pursuing Corey's
girlfriend prophetic. Honestly, do you remember that episode? Because I do,
(26:14):
I kind of remember it. Um Oh, he went on
Boy Meets World as a professor and then hit on
a creepy professor who hit on to Pengga. Wow, I
mean that's I guess when it started. I know. Well,
it's funny how they were. You could go there on
those just like daytime TV back then. Dude, I heard
(26:38):
I gotta find this song. I was hitting golf balls
like two days ago, and like an old school song
came on. The whole song was about a young girl
and how it entices the older man but he can't
do it, but he wants to do it and he can't,
and it's just like just because it adds like a
(26:59):
jazzy eat. Everyone was like completely fine with this ship,
Like I don't know, that's wild. I know, like honestly,
it was all like legal like fifteen years ago, like
ten years ago, it was like all fine. That's how
famous Fred Savage was is that he could commit uh
(27:23):
sexual assault in a show in front of everyone, and
everyone's like that Fred Savage. Well, I think there's been
so many people like that, like you think of I
always think about UM, like Law and Order SVU, like
if you get cast as the rapists, you know, like
Johnny did an episode where he was he was like
an ice cream truck driver, like and I was like,
(27:46):
what was that? Like, I don't know, but A Long
Respue is also like the coolest show in the world. Yeah.
I mean, look, there's been plenty of artists that have
literally told you that they're creep and everyone's just like
that's you know, yeah, we'll stand up music whatever. Johnny
is not a creep. I want to reiterate, Johnny's the best,
very great, wonderful man, non creepy man. UM. I love
(28:11):
Johnny dear friend of mine, you know, alumni of this
podcast who has no creeps on UM. Anyways, according to
Lucian Wiggles in the reboot Girl Meets World premiered on
the Disney Channel, where Korean Tupango were married. Did you
catch the reboot, Andrew, And if so, did you feel
(28:32):
that they should be married in real life they should
be married or on the show? No? No, on the show,
on the show. I mean, I just you know these things. No,
I did not watch it at all. If anything, I
can't believe how much just hearing Girl Meets World, like
the visceral reaction I feel of not wanting to watch
(28:54):
that amazes me how much I love Boy Meets World,
Like it just shows how much growth I might have
had as a person, you know, like it just that
show just tells me that you know their careers, they
never really did anything in between. I know. It's I
think sometimes like that happens to people a lot, Like
(29:16):
they have such big hit, but this business is so fickle,
Like honestly, you just never know. Yeah, Like I couldn't
um see like Seth Cohen and Summer being parents and
like five years from now of the O C. Bring
me back to O C. You know I watched that
(29:37):
again over pandemic of course you did. Was it good?
The best? There's a lot of darkness in that show.
Oh my god, someone dies every four episodes. Yeah yeah,
and you're like, hmm, I didn't see that so much
in Orange County. It was just one kid. It's always
(30:01):
one you know. Yeah, um, okay, so tell me. But back,
First of all, I want to say, like I hate reboots.
They suck. Like I was so mad, like you know,
the world was like all those in cells got so
mad about Ghostbusters and all this stuff, like and Oceans eight.
Oceans eight was actually really good. I did enjoy female
(30:23):
Ghostbusters reboots, although what I wanted to be like is
just give us our stop making all female reboots, like,
let us have our own new movies. Well yeah, yeah,
I mean it is funny to just make everything like
good Fellas but girls. Yeah yeah, I'm like, I fucking
(30:45):
hate you. Let us just sell our own movies that
we right, you know. Yeah, they're like, well, we could
let you in, but it still has to be the
male story. Everyone still knows it's a man movie. Yeah,
you know, like you're just stepping you're stepping in for
a little while. Also, it's like it's funny that it
(31:05):
has to be like all women, you know, like yeah,
but it's so funny because it just sets those movies
up to fail because like the culture is still you
find out quickly if you're on the internet at all,
like inherently misogynists like men still like unintelligent men still
(31:26):
feel like that comedy is for men, and so it
sets those movies up. Like God, the backlash those movies
face was insane. I mean it's uh, you know what
it felt like it felt like before like transgender, like
before people came out against that, Like that was kind
(31:49):
of like the appetizer before like this like this wave,
like you could kind of see it that like God
to people hate women like succeeding anything outside the norm.
You know, Yeah, it's crazy, like how much like why
would you ever care what anyone else is doing? Like
(32:10):
that has nothing to do with you. Well, it's because Ghostbusters.
They watched it with their dad at the local movie
theater and they bonded over it and they're like, dude,
that fucking ghost god fucking murder, right dad, And he's
like yes, son, and he pats him on the head.
He's like, let's go to t ball and and then
(32:30):
we can talk about how moral they fucked up Ghosts
and we're like, gosh, thanks dad, and then he never
saw his dad again, and then he blames it on
the women in a movie twenty years later. Yes, but
it's also crazy to like, you know, people have such
an intense nostalgia as well, and then so you're already
taking such a big, big risk on doing a reboot
(32:52):
and then to say, yeah, these it's just God, that
was so visceral. That was so I felt that in
(33:13):
my core. I really did well. Honestly, I had a
new wave of this, like this idea of what I'm
talking about because I did just get on TikTok a
few weeks ago. Andrew, I had no idea the depths
of how unwell humanity is. TikTok is. I don't even
(33:41):
know exactly how to explain it other than in a dance.
So it's like, but are you on it? Like it's
so toxic? Well, have you ever seen a TikTok or
in real life? Like I was at the the airport
the other day and I saw like two kids that
were probably have ninety million followers. If you see it
(34:02):
in real life, you really realize how incredibly dumb it is.
And I can't get enough of it. You know, no, no,
but honestly, like, so what I do is I go
on Twitter and I read things that make me very
sad and then and so depressed. I wake up in
the morning, I roll over, I go, let's see how
(34:24):
to ruin my day, and I roll and I scroll
and I don't. I keep scrolling until I find something
that really hurts my feelings, and then I go, you
know what will help, Maybe I'll go over to TikTok
and get a little ginger in my palate. And then
I go to TikTok and I see about forty pro
(34:45):
Trump videos, one dancing video, and then a cute puppy
and and that kind of somehow balances out Twitter, like
I think they kind of they're both horrible in different ways,
and they kind of I don't know, to me, Um,
they're both in different ways that like make me feel
shitty in a way that kind of in their own
(35:05):
unique way. Well, I got on there, and I guess
on Twitter, it's like sort of like the only people
who follow me like chose to follow me, whereas TikTok
they show your stuff to a bunch of random people.
The algorithms, so you're exposed to people who don't necessarily
want to follow you, And so the comments I were
(35:28):
getting were so insane it made me depressed. And I
normally just turned comments off on everything because I just
don't want to see because like I don't want that
to affect me, like putting my stuff out or my whatever.
And they were so gnarly. I was honestly getting sad.
Some of them were really funny, Like I did get
some insults that I'm like talking about on stage, but um,
(35:52):
I then muted. I found out you could mute words
in the comments because they don't let you not view them.
You can't turn off not notifications. I muted women, female females,
voice vocal fry, punchline joke like jokes because they would
(36:13):
say where's the punchline? Where's the joke? I haven't get
to the joke or whatever. I love that every comment
is just where yeah that comment? So now I figure
that out. It's blissful. But like they were, every single
(36:34):
one was misogynists based like just for being a woman.
They like hate you. They don't even listen to what
you're saying. Yeah, the comments that hurt are not the
like generic usually like the generic like yeah, nice try
or not funny. Try. I saw one where Andrew's funny
like a root canal, and then the next comment is
(36:56):
I was wrong. He's great, like like the guy watched
the podcast and like how to change a heart. I
just cannot even fathom how big of a loser you
have to be to comment something mean on a stranger
(37:17):
you've never met comedy video. I mean, the problem is
you're you're going against fourteen fifteen year old kids on TikTok,
and they are fucking ruthless. Yeah, but I just want
to be like, listen, you little fucker. You've never done
anything in your goddamn life. They're like I shouldn't, I shouldn't.
(37:39):
You can't even probably doing all of you fucking loser. Okay,
that one hurt, but yeah, now I like it now
that I muted all the misogynists. But I love that
I literally muted women and female and all of a sudden,
it's a different app experience for me. Hysterical. I mean,
(38:00):
it's uh, I can't imagine because I see like Comedy Central,
like you see the comments, like I never look when
they posted anything of mine, if it's ever a female,
it's just like they're like they're the funniest part about
it is like they complain that females don't only talk
about sex or that, oh I heard this other female.
(38:20):
You're writing the same fucking comment you're doing. You're doing it,
You're doing what you're saying they do. The irony is
so fucking thick. Yeah, it's insane. It's crazy. Um, TikTok
is highly addictive. And I found that, like, I don't know,
I haven't jumped fully on board yet because each video
(38:43):
you're fighting for the audience again, you know what I mean,
You're not guaranteed, and like Instagram, at least you're gonna
get the same number, you know what I mean, Like
pretty much every time if you put out a video
like like you know what you're getting TikTok, you can
get two million views on one and then seven on
the next one. Yeah, it's completely nonsensical. Oh god, oh
(39:09):
my god, oh my god. Okay, oh my god. Um okay. So,
according to Lucian, Ben Savage has played a younger flashback
version of the actor Mandy Potankin on three separate occasions,
including Criminal Minds and Homeland. Yeah, Lucian Wiggles does really
(39:31):
good work. Andrew. Which actor do you feel you would
be a good flashback version? For flashback version, I mean
that would have to be an old as actor. Then
at this point I think Tom Selleck. Yeah, I'm just
sure it would and Fat too fat. I don't think
and Fat. Honestly, you should be cast tomorrow as a
(39:54):
young Tom Selleck. I'd like to be a young Leaf Schreiber,
but he's that much older than me. Oh my god,
I totally see that. You could totally do that. Yeah, yeah,
I could play him Like I met him one time
and I thought I looked like him. Have you ever
met someone that you thought you look like and then
you see him in person, you go, okay, they're bet
(40:15):
they're a little bit there. He's better, like like his
his everything about, Like I took a picture with him.
I just he's like six to his head's big. He's
just there for an actor to be six too. Yeah,
I know he did it. Maybe he's not. Maybe he's
six ft. I don't know. Yeah, wait are you in St.
(40:38):
Louis right now? Yeah? How is it over there? Um?
I don't know, Like I'm gone a lot, Like so,
I've been traveling so much, and I went and I
worked on that f Boys show, so I was gone
for two months there. So like for four months, I've
been in like paradise when I was like living in St. Louis.
(40:58):
Did you just get back from that up? I got
back a few months ago from that I was in.
I was in Cabo for two months, Like, oh that's
where they shot this one. Yeah, that's incredible. Was it amazing?
It was a pretty good life. Like, you know, I
have a girlfriend now, so it's tough to be away
from her. Yeah, she didn't come. She visited. She visited
(41:20):
one time, and uh, but I played golf a lot.
But you know, it's you know, it's funny when you
go to like a spring break spot and to stay,
you know, right like I don't know, it feels a
little like like it stopped feeling spring breaking. It did,
but you were like Tan and like I love Cabba,
(41:43):
Like the food is great. It's just a great vibe.
Did you did you find that or I didn't? I did,
Like I love a beach, you know, Like I'm from Florida,
so it's like I feel like we always connect over
you know. Some famously got Andrew to my audience and
ers who are unaware famously got arrested for driving a
(42:05):
jet ski in a in a manateese zone in um Florida.
Yeah yeah, that's you know, my past, and that leave
Schreiber would play maybe one of the best stories of
all time. I mean I could tell it. I mean
it was. I was going about seventy and a in
a seven. Uh. I think when he pulled me over,
(42:26):
it's like you're going about eighty five over and I
was like getting pulled over. The best is I did
a few great things that I don't really talk about usually.
I had a girl on the back. There was a
girl on the back no no, please no, with the
with the with a giant fake boobs and and a
barbed wire tattoo like and somehow kid Rock was playing
(42:50):
out of her ears. It was fucking awesome, so I'm
sure I was trying to impress her, you know. And
the top they pull you over. When you get pulled
over in the water, you gotta go to park on
a dock. And I had a very like popular restaurant docks.
(43:12):
So people were watching and I was hammered like I
should have got it, But I didn't get arrested that day.
I got arrested six months later, when I was on
a date with a stripper no no, no, who didn't
speak English, who just got done telling me that I
was a nice guy and that's all she said. She
(43:35):
was about to be like, and this is how much
you owe me for the date. She's like trying to
swipe her venmo and get that all out of there.
She Venmo requests you at the table. But it was
like we had a vibe. Um it was money. So
(43:58):
the cops come in the no no yeah, guns blazing
no no no no no, so the cops. So I'm
dropping her off and kind of a shady part of
town and um, she's like she kept going here so nice.
You're different than everyone else that I've ever dated. You're
nice and like and I was like, man, this is
(44:20):
going really well, Like I feel really good. And then
the cop ran my license plate because I was in
like a bad neighborhood and I thought he was arresting
me for prostitution, you know, um and uh he had
He goes get out of the car and I was like,
I didn't. This was six months later, you know, and
(44:42):
he had his He's like, you have a warrant for
your rest and I was like, man, what what forar officer?
You know? And he's like you were and he started
laughing because he was getting it through his like CB
radio and he's like, were you speeding on a jet
ski and a manate zone? And he never paid the
ticket and I was like, you know, you know, he
(45:03):
had me very specific, you know, And so I go,
will you at least tell my day, who, by the way,
can value that I'm a nice I go, will you
tell her that I'm not a murderer? And um, I
(45:25):
don't know what he told her, but he spoke Spanish
as well, and she threw the keys and like ran
and I was like, man, she loves manatees. She didn't
want anything to do with me, right, And it's probably
a smart choice at that point in time. But I
owed eighty dollars. That was it, Just eighty dollars, like
that was the That was the ticket. And I went
(45:45):
to jail for eighty dollars. And I'm in jail with
the two toughest guys I've ever met, and they were
like talking about like how they beat the ship out
of someone and like like rob somebody and they're like
what about you? And I didn't. No no, no no
no no no no no no no no no. Oh
(46:07):
my god. Oh so I had a dilemma. I had
a dilemma. I go, either I tell the truth or
um if I lie, and they seed in my eyes
you know that I'm not just like you know, I
stabbed some you know what I mean. Like, so I
just go. I was speedy on a jet ski and
(46:32):
real fast. What they say, Oh my god, they got quiet,
and I'm like, here's the time. This is when people
get murdered and got and it got quiet and I
was like, whatever the funk They asked me next, this
is gonna get intense. It was intense. And the guy
looks at me. I swear to God in my life
(46:52):
and he looks at me, goes, Yamahar Kalisaki. Oh my god,
your guardian angels were with you. I go, I go Yamaha,
And he goes, that's a good scheme, mate, that's a
good scheme. And like I pready got after that, like
we were, we were good, but they appreciated your honesty.
(47:15):
Think Heaven's um while that story I will hold with
me in my heart. The best part, the best part.
As I went back to no, I'm gonna say you went,
Oh my god that night to apologize and to show
her that I am and she was like, she's like
(47:39):
staying hundred feet away from me. She wanted nothing to
do with me. And I was like, no, manate, no
kill no, Oh my god. I don't know what I
was saying, but I was very drunk and I was
just like no, no, no, googled like no kill Manate
threw me out of there. I just remember, yeah, oh
(48:00):
my god, Wow, incredible. Alright, Mary fun kill right or Strong?
Ben Savage? Mr Feenie, Okay Rider Strong still friend? Right? Yeah? Yeah,
(48:22):
I was in love with him, as I have a
pension for bad boys. Can I be honest? And it's
gonna sound mean. He didn't age great like the college years.
He he fell apart a little. I think it happens
to the best of us. He was very hot early.
He had a gap in his teeth, which is kind
of sexy. Is that? Okay? So you're going to kill
(48:44):
right or Strong? Who was the last guy? Mr? Belvedere, Phenie?
Mr Fie? Who was Mr Velvet? Here? Where was he from?
That was another show? I know that's I remember that vividly.
I'm trying to remember. I feel like it was the
same actor in different clothes. But yeah, I think you're right. Um.
(49:08):
I would say I would kill Mr Belvedere just because
he's already dying soon. I mean Mr Feenie an afternoon
record in afternoon record, I would kill Mr Feenie because
he's already gonna die. I wouldn't feel bad, I get
it out of a way. I'd go, look, it's either
(49:29):
this or you know, um, heart disease. Um. And then
I would fuck. I would fuck um Sean. And I'd
marry Ben of course, of course, yeah, of course. And
yeah Ben seems really marriable for sure. He seems like
unlike Fred, stand up guy. Um. In your opinion, Andrew,
(49:55):
do you think Sean was ultimately a good friend to
Corey because there was that one episode where, oh yeah,
when Corey decided that he had feelings for Topanga, Buddy
was too scared to make a move, and so then
he made a move. Seawn made a move on to
Panga in order to motivate Corey. But I don't know
(50:18):
about that move. Although high school's high school, and we've
all made a lot of mistakes, it is a weird
move to motivate your friend by having sex with the
girl that they love. Um, come on, bro, you can
do it too. Um, it's a it's it's an interesting move.
And I feel like in high school, my buddy Rusty
did that to me. Uh remember, feel like all your
(50:42):
friends name are Rusty from Florida. We just they're numbered,
um one through thirty. What's your step brother's name? Against No, No,
that's Jake the Snake, Snake and self titled. Um he
gotta mullet now and uh here Florida's stories. He's the best.
(51:06):
He just gets his only thing that was off limits
where his puzzles. You'd always go stay away from my puzzles, man.
And I was like, dude, I didn't touch the elephant.
Ear like, get off my back. But yeah, so yeah, yeah,
that is a that's a messed up move because it
seems it's selfish. It's you could pretend all you want.
(51:27):
San we all know, So Rusty did that to you
in high school. Yeah, with this girl Louise, I told
him that I had a crush on her, and literally,
I think before I was even done with the sentence,
they were making out. Oh my god, that's so sad,
and it literally, I mean it feels like that at
any point in life, but when you're a kid, it
literally feels like you're being stabbed in the chest, which
(51:51):
I happened to me just a few years later. Oh yeah,
I forgot you stabbed. Oh my god, I always forget
you got stabbed. And I'm just relieved you made it
through that. Who knows Jesus Christ. Yeah, that was wild.
That's a whole another that's too long. I think maybe
(52:15):
yeah next year. And Wilson, you don't have to tell
this stabbed story. And I'm you know, every time I
talk to you and we get back into your past,
I really am convinced that you have a fleet of
angels protecting you or Devil's trying to kill me. I
don't both honestly, because like the situations you have been in,
(52:38):
I it's incredible. Um yeah, it's weird when you get
older and like you step really step away from that
kind of life and you're like, what the like you know,
I don't know, it's weird, feel like a different life. Yeah, No,
I feel like that. I feel like we share this,
we actually both share this in common, where it literally
(53:02):
feels like I know we're young, but like I've lived
nine different distinct lives, yeah, and we committed to all
of them, uh to a point like I don't know, man,
it's uh yeah, it's weird. It's weird to think about,
but it's nice to be on the other side of it,
(53:24):
you know. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, this is a pretty
weird life we're in now. It is very I mean,
I'm in St. Louis. How the hell did I get here?
I have no idea, no idea, no idea. My apartment
is nice. You fully live in St. Louis now, like
with like a beautiful apartment and a hot girlfriend, and
(53:49):
you golf all the time. I saw you on TV
golfing with the golf instructor. I love golf so much.
I just played today. I just played with strangers. That's
all I do is a team up with random people.
And I'm like, hey, hey, I'm Andrew, man, I'm Dave.
You want to hang out for four hours? They've never met?
(54:09):
And it's like I could never do that? Really, yeah, why,
I just like that's you know, like I'm seeing someone now.
But when you go on an online date and they
asked for a drink or dinner. Like you don't say
dinner because you don't know that you've never met them,
(54:32):
so you don't know if dinner is too big of
a commitment. That's stock we're talking sixty and ninety minutes.
You're doing that with four times four times four hours.
That's like a wild commitment. Yeah, you do have to
sleep with all of them too, but it's just make
a lesson to I don't know. Yeah, it's um, but
(54:58):
it doesn't get too deep on the golf, of course,
you know you're like, oh, yeah, oh, look at that.
You gotta see seven iron. Oh you do for a living.
Oh I'm in accounting. Oh that's got to be boring.
Not as boring as golf, am I right? Well? The
only thing, because you know, my dad is really into golf.
(55:18):
The main thing, the thing I hear him complain about
that you hate is if only if someone's really slow,
it messes up the whole golf course. We had that today. Sorry,
I don't mean to call you out, Mitch. Mitch, you
need to hurry the funk up. Honestly, it's disrespectful to
the rest of the golf course. Not only was he slow,
(55:39):
very very annoying, very annoying. Yeah, see this is what
I I don't want to play golf, amongst many other
reasons that I would never want to play. So you're
dating someone anyways. Okay, So according to Lucian Wiggles, peng
is According to Lucian Wiggles, Topanga is now married to
(56:10):
a former white rapper named Jensen Carp. What was his
I do'm not sure. Like he came out with a
memoir called like I was almost as famous as Kanye
West or something. Um, And she married this man in
second marriage. So I don't know what's going on with
(56:31):
Topanga because I remember and like I would have never
known that I could be by. I'm still not by
because I've never hooked up with a woman. But I
also don't think we are minds were open to that
in our generation compared to like if I was six
years younger, where literally everyone is by now. Um. But
(56:53):
I look back and like I remember thinking like she
was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in
my life, and that like I looking back, I was
like I think I really had like a full crush
on her. I think everyone did. It was kind of
like the Kelly k like just so otherworldly beautiful. And
(57:14):
you know, I wonder if she, if Sean never did
that to Corey, would to Penga ever end up with
a white rapper, you know what I mean? I know,
I think I think Sean was the gateway drunk to
a white rapper. I can see that. I can see
point A to point B where you're going with that.
I honestly can see that fully. Yeah, I mean there's
(57:40):
got to be something to like when you're a child
star to what's the best way to rebel? You know? Uh,
and that's a second marriage to a white rapper who
you know, at some point rappers really don't have Like comedians,
we can do this for quite a while, but you
don't really have a big window to make it as
(58:04):
a rapper. You know, eventually she'll probably tell him to
get a job, right. I don't think he's a white
rapper anymore. I think he's just a white man. But
like I think I think he's no, No, I don't
(58:27):
know if you ever shake that. I think he's just
a podcast or now. But like wha, because like I
was like, oh, that was also a recent decision who
she's currently married to. But I don't know, maybe I
should look him up before I say anything, because maybe
he's like an incredible rapper or something. Yeah, he's probably
pretty good. I mean, I wonder what his stage name is.
I bet you it can't be whatever the name you said,
(58:49):
Jensen Carp. I wonder the same thing because the sad
he grew up in Calabasas, which also did track with
what his name was. Jensen Carp sounds like he's definitely lived,
grew up in Calabasas. I don't wait here we go.
He was just telling us something right now in real time. Oh.
He was also known for finding the shrimp in Cereal.
(59:10):
Oh that guy, what happened? I don't know that story. Well,
A lot of people think he made it up that
he put the shrimp inside the cereal for win, like
a ton of money in a lawsuit or something. I
just remember going viral on Twitter. I don't know if
he won money. I don't remember, but it felt very fishy.
(59:48):
Ten years in ye oh my god, Well, Andrew, like
I enjoyed um watching you on Nikki. What's their show
called Welcome Home Nick Nicklaser. It was so when you
drove away in the car, I was scream laughing. In
front of my TV. Well, that was a real game
(01:00:09):
I would play in Florida called You Got Left and
What You Do? It's a fun game, this story that
talks about Florida and going to the wildest place. So
let me just give you like kind of it's a
pretty complicated game. So what you do is you make
(01:00:29):
sure you're as far away from the house as possible,
and then you just leave your friend there, hopefully insanely intoxicated,
and then you call them with four of your friends
and go, you Got Left, Oh my god, and then twisted. Yeah,
it was before Uber too said oh my god, I'm
not Florida is the scariest From what I've heard from you,
(01:00:54):
Florida is the single scariest place in the world. We
left a friend, no all me. I swear to god,
this is a true story. We left again at a
strip club and he he just became the assistant manager
of the strip and he moved in with the owner.
(01:01:14):
He got addicted to coke and ended up in like
rehab like and we're like, man, we got him. You
need to do like a dateline, but for like your
personal stories, um in Florida. Yeah, like I definitely should
do some kind of story book or some kind of book.
I want to see a TV show where we are
(01:01:37):
like find out where they are now. You just interviewed Rusty,
but like a raw thing years old. It's like done
in the style of investigative journalism. Yeah, but they don't
figure out anything. They figure out that I live in St. Louis.
(01:02:00):
That's how it's the Oh god, alright, this has been
too fun. I don't want it to end. But we
have one segment left. We like to ask our guests
called fan on the Street street and it's where you
(01:02:24):
tell us about if you have like any fun running
um with the celebrity of fun anecdote that you had
in your life. Oh yeah, other than Leaveshriver being taller
than Yeah. Yeah. So here's a fun story. So I'm
in Amsterdam. I'm twenty one years old. I just I
(01:02:45):
just got done studying abroad for two weeks in Madrid
mighty and two weeks in Petty. I learned a little bit.
I'm not gonna lie, I learned a bit living on
on the land, off the land and the hotel. And um,
I'm in Amsterdam and I'm very very stoned. And there
(01:03:06):
was a market where you would um, where they had
shwarma like any food. It was all like like snack
based for people that are really high. And I'm in
like a place I'm about to get some shwarma. I
love his scharm and Um standing next to me. I
(01:03:31):
just feel this like like a presence that I've never felt.
And granted I'm very very high, but I just feel like,
I don't know, like it felt like warmth and like
I was just in the presence of greatness. And I
look over and the guy like was had um dreads
(01:03:54):
like white man dreads, and very like very baggy clothes.
He looked somewhat homeless, to be honest, but also the
most incredibly good looking person I've ever seen in my life,
even though he's doing everything in his power to look
like dogshit. And I look closer and he's so tall
(01:04:15):
that I don't know who this person is, but it's
like I'm just feeling it. And I look up and
I just go your heath ledger and he goes um.
He just looks at me, is yeah, Like he's talking
like he's in a like an Australian accent, and I'm
(01:04:36):
so stone that he's talking so slow that I'm I'm
not even staying like I don't even know have enough.
I have very bad a d D. Like I couldn't
hear his words. Like also, I was shocked, and he's like,
yeah I am, and I was like okay, cool uh
And then I walk with him outside of the Shwarma place.
He doesn't want this, you know, like he didn't expect
(01:04:59):
me to following them, you know, and he's like I'm talking.
He's saying things to me and I can't understand them,
and I go, I just want you to know that
you are incredible and ten things I hate about you.
And at this point he was already in like Brokeback Mountain,
like this was not the movie that no one the
(01:05:21):
Patriot movie is incredible though, Oh my god. So he's
like oh yeah, you know, and then I just walk away.
I was like kind of embarrassed at that. I swear
to God, Like four days later, I'm in the Greek Islands,
I mean an island, no no, which is like two
thousand miles away from Amsterdam. Yea, I ship you not
(01:05:48):
into no no no no no, And there is Mr
Belvedere No no, no, no no. There's fucking heat Ledger,
what the hell I'm telling you it's not so this time,
I'm drunk and he's talking to like five of the
(01:06:11):
hottest women I've ever seen in my life. And my
brother is like, yeah, just go in there, he'll remember you.
And I'm like I don't think so, but all right.
And I go in there and I'm like Heath and
he everyone like looks at me like like what is it,
like a crazy fan. I was like, no, it's me Amsterdam.
(01:06:34):
And he's like looking at me like like call security,
you know, And I was just like, no, man, you're
what are you following me around Europe? And then I
remember him going you're following me around Europe? And I
all right, whatever, and then I just walked away. That
was whoa, that's a crazy story. Though, Oh my god,
he had such insane star power. How could you have
(01:06:57):
run in to each other in different trees within a week,
you know, I have no idea. And forever I thought
he was such a piece of ship for like, be like,
you're following me around Europe And someone was like, you're
the asshole in this story, Like yeah he was. He
was literally just like making a joke back to you. Yeah,
(01:07:18):
I'm the asshole I heard like about because I always
loved him so much. He was like one of my
number one. Like I was deeply, deep, deep, deep, deep
deep in love with him. And um I heard he
was like super shy in real life. Yeah, I mean
he definitely didn't want whatever I was selling. Pacy was
(01:07:38):
also in uh An Eo spar from Dawson's Creek, and
that was also was in love with him. Of course,
another bad boy. I took a girl from him that night. Andrew,
oh my god, really similar to him though, that's you
(01:08:00):
guys like look a lot alike. But the day my grandpa,
by the day my grandpa died, we went on a
pub crawl in his aunt hilarious, and we wore snorkel
gear because we knew there were gonna be baby pools.
I wanted to parties. And we jumped in the pool
and my brother jumped in after me and he he
(01:08:21):
landed on my face and I had goggles and he
cut my eye so bad. I got out. I'm gushing blood.
And the girl that was talking to Pacy saw this
absurdain attempt at trying to get attention and aided my
eye of blood and then we ended up like hanging
(01:08:43):
out for like three days and eos like it was
pretty cool. Oh my god, what what a life you've lived.
This is too good, Andrew, this is too fun. Yeah,
I hate for it to end. Great to see you.
You're doing so well, one of my favorite comedians. Like,
I miss getting to watch you do comedy because you
(01:09:05):
make me laugh so hard. Oh man, you're too nice.
And I honestly like every time we catch up, like
it makes me miss Like maybe that's like great that
we don't talk that much, because it makes it this
much more special. But you really are an incredible human being,
an incredible comic, and I miss you dearly. I really don't.
(01:09:28):
I miss you like freaking Fred Savage misses his good reputation,
you know. Oh god, all right, thank you so much.
I guess we can't talk that and no, okay, we'll
end it there. I'm clapping. That's a clap at mast
(01:10:02):
tasting
Hello everyone, and welcome back to another week of Deal
and Wilson. I'm having so much fun. This episode is
so funny. One of my oldest friends. He's hilarious. He
tours all of the country with Nicky Glazer. Um. You
can see him on Nicky Glazer's new reality show, Welcome
Home Nicki Glazer. Uh, he's so funny on that I
(00:22):
don't know. His name is Andrew Colin and you guys
probably know him. Uh. He was the He was on
the first Dero and Wilson Live show that we ever did,
and he was just killed it. He's so funny and
he has the craziest stories. Is one of the best
storytellers I know. We were truly laughing our asses off
(00:43):
in this episode, which you will hear. Yeah, oh I'm sorry. Also,
everyone who was coming to the shows in Minneapolis and
Chicago with Ron Funches, I became very ill and had
to miss. My body just shut down, I guess from
all the traveling. UM. But Jay fl was really fun
and it's always such an honor to be able to
(01:03):
go to Montreal. It was the first, just for last
they had in three years UM because of COVID, so
it was very exciting. The variety thing went really well.
I was really nervous, so that was good. But then
I just guess my body was like, Okay, shut down
time now, bitch. Um. We recorded a really fun episode
(01:24):
at JFL Live, Episode two, which I'm excited for you
guys to hear. I want to keep doing um some
more live episodes because they're really really fun. Um. Okay,
I love you guys. That's all there is to report. Um,
send me your d M s. Let me know how
you're liking a podcast. Post about it. If you like
(01:44):
an episode, that would be good, Give me some reviews,
fast stars, bitch, I'm working my ass off for you.
I love you. We're family. Tell a friend, Yeah, help
support the pod so we can keep this going. I
think I'm at sixty three. Use I need to get
those numbers up, babe. Um okay, please enjoy this episode
(02:06):
with Andrew Colin. It's so funny. I think you guys
are gonna love it just like I did. Okay, have
a great week. Yeah, be find some joy and happiness
where you can. You know, life is short. We gotta
do this. We gotta have a laugh, we gotta have
a hug. We gotta have some pasta and some cheesecake. Um,
hug a tree, you know, breathe some clean air. We
(02:28):
gotta do that. It's passing by, you know. Anyways, Love you, enjoy,
Love you by. Welcome everybody back to another episode of
the Deer o In Wilson Podcast with your host Blair
(02:52):
sop Kid. Ask me, Blair, what a treat do I
have for you guys today? One of my oldest, dearest
friends in comedy, one of the funniest men. You might
know him from the critically acclaimed series Surfer Boy as
my stepdad. Rick, also starring in the Nicky Glazer reality
(03:16):
show on E and currently towards Nicky Glazer has his
own podcast, Puddles. Please welcome my friend Andrew calling everybody.
(03:38):
Thank you. That was a lovely introduction oldest, and that's
I'm just projecting here, and it hurt for something. It
felt like there's something like oh old like it didn't
feel like we go way back. It felt like I
go way back. And then you met me about sixty
years into my life. That's what it's. No, that's not
(03:59):
what I met And I meant like I met you
like early on in my comedy, like I think I
met you year one. Yeah, I'm trying to think where
we met. Probably uh, No Malice Palace, if I had.
That's so funny. I was literally just trying to think
of the name of No Malice Palace. I was envisioning
it and couldn't remember what the name was. Yeah, they
(04:22):
all had kind of weird names. They were just dark
and disgusting, and everyone pretended to like each other. It
was great. It was a great environment. Isn't it crazy
how these open mic places are all somehow pitch black
during the middle of the day, Like, how are they
so dark? I have no idea who goes in there?
I mean, you know, I guess cocaine is still a
(04:45):
hell of a drug in New York City, And that's
the only thing. I don't know. Who would go down
there without doing an open mic, you know what I mean? Like,
who's the guy going back there to hang out in
the dark at two pm? It's just then you have
to go down like seven flights of stairs to get
to a bathroom, and it's terrifying, and you're like, all right,
(05:05):
is this p worth dying? I don't know, but hey,
it's our dream heaven. Hey, we're following our dreams. Open
mics are seriously some of the most terrifying places on earth.
I can only imagine as a woman when you're like
one of like four women in a dungeon. You know,
(05:26):
I mean, I guess I could turn you on a
little bit, but you know I didn't confidently say I
never once spell turned on, not even one time. Come on, remember,
I feel like another one we used to go to
was um Eastville Comedy Club before they redid it. Oh yeah,
where you had to pay five dollars to do five minutes.
(05:50):
It's it's wild to think about what I what we did.
It's not like we went to like Vietnam or something.
But it does feel like when I think back at it,
that if I had to do that now, I would quit,
uh four days ago, you know what I mean? Like yeah, yeah, no,
I I can't believe it either. Like people have no
(06:11):
idea the indignities involved with comedy. I guess the only
people that really know are the parents of comedians. Like
I remember being like a year in and I was
like barking for hours every Friday and Saturday for free,
like in the snow. Not exaggerating, and one of my
parents friends. Was in New York visiting and like came
to my shitty Village lantern show and told my parents
(06:35):
and my dad was like, so you were doing that
for free? Why why would you do that? He was
so horrified, he was so sad. I mean, I don't
know why. It's so hard to ask for money when
(06:56):
you're doing a creative passion. But for some reason, I
think I deserve of three million dollars from a real
estate deal where I did no work. You know. That's hilarious. Yeah,
Like it's like I don't know, it's just like maybe
if I put a tie on, I would like to
pay me, you know, maybe in like a shitty jan
sport backpack. I don't as a thirty year old man,
(07:19):
I don't deserve a dollar. No. It is confusing, like
you you do have to as you get older, it
gets real fast. You have to like train your mind
that you're like, uh no, this I need to eat. Yeah,
I have value. I still don't feel that way completely,
but it's definitely like I'm getting closer to thinking I
(07:43):
deserve to be worth something. You know. Hell, yeah, I know.
I'll fight in the good fight every day. Um yeah,
Well I'm so excited to have you on today. I
don't say who you're going to read your letter too,
but you you were on actually the first Dear Owen
(08:03):
Wilson that there ever was, and it was one of
the funniest things like I'd ever heard in my life. Um.
I kind of I was sad you weren't gonna read
your letter to Dave matthews Man because that one was
so incredible. But I am so excited for you to
read this one. So, um, if you could just go
ahead now and read us our letter, okay, um, yeah,
(08:27):
sorry that it's not Dave. Um. I felt like switching
it up. I thought you would want me to switch
it up. You know you can always you know, come
as you are here, but I know this one is
going to be equally as good. Alright, So so I
guess I should say the first and last name up
top right, so to say dear so and so, and
(08:48):
then we'll go Dear Ben Savage. Yea, I felt like
you were to paying a girl for sure. Oh oh
my god, like looking back on it, we'll talk later,
we'll talk out to your letter. Alright, Dear Ben Savage.
First of all, fuck Fred, I'm sure, as kids, it's
(09:12):
I came in hot I gave him. I don't know
if I needed the exclamation mark. Yeah you did, good guy.
That's the whole letter. I wrote it in blood. Okay,
first of all, fuck Fred. I'm sure as kids, your
(09:35):
parents often said, why can't you have a hit TV
show like your older brother who salary pays for our mortgage,
the country club membership, four of the same gold Mercedes,
and multiple trees in Israel. It couldn't be easy having
(10:00):
an older brother be so successful at such a young age.
I get it. My older brother made millions of dollars
while I picked up dogshit with both hands for a living. Sometimes,
while picking up the dog shit, I thought, w W
Y B s D. What would young Ben Savage? Do
you know what you did? He started your own hit
TV show, Boy Meets World In I was a thirteen
(10:24):
year old boy waiting for my first pube, desperate to
figure out who I was. My parents were newly divorced
and I needed an escape. Like you, Ben, I had
jewish curly hair like you, Ben, I was never a
ladies man like like you Ben. I got by on
(10:45):
humor to protect my heart. Your show was there for me.
Corey Matthews was there for me. I have pubes now,
and I had a bit of success myself. I'm on
a reality TV show and in most scenes I'm giggling,
sticking my tongue out and staring off into the distance
looking like I'm about to kill a puppy. You inspired me, Ben,
(11:10):
Thanks for making me feel less alone. Ben. Oh my guys,
that was so good. Bravo, Andrew, thank you. Oh my god, God,
we have so much to talk about. Holy sh it,
Oh my god, I am overwhelmed. First, Andrew, I must
make an absolutely insane, insane confession. But as my private
(11:38):
detective Lucian Wiggles was briefing me to prepare for this interview,
that was the moment, and I swear to go out
in my life. That was the moment right before this
that I learned that Fred Savage is Ben's older brother.
I had absolutely no idea they were related, and then
(12:01):
as soon as I found out, I was like, oh
my god, of course they're like basically fucking twins. Yeah yeah,
I for I don't know when I found out. Um,
Wonder Years played a little bit Wonder Years I was.
I remember it being important to me, but I was
still too young for it to be important, you know
what I mean, Like, and I'm trying to I don't
(12:23):
know when I found out that both Savage brothers were
killing it, but uh, yeah, I have gone my whole
life without knowing that that's insane. Well you know y'
also and twins are sisters. This feels like the moment
like six years ago when I found that ridiculous was
(12:43):
spelled with an eye instead of an E. It was
absolutely heartbreaking. Yeah, I found out that um it wasn't
um off hooding. I thought it was till I was
well to my thirties. Yeah, I thought, I swear to guy,
(13:14):
how you're laughing at me is very off. I gotta
be honest. You didn't. It makes sense. It makes sense.
It makes sense, you know I was. And then I
also told I remember I thought it was hyanus for
a long time. And I I told this guy, Mr Roy,
(13:37):
we had like a class reunion from my high school.
And he goes, wow, you look in shape Andrew like
an old teacher. I go, yes, Mr Roy, actually I've
been taking a hyenus off of lifting. And he just
looked at me like, well, my my job was not done.
Uh Mr Rory did not do his job. Hi anus hilarious?
(14:04):
Oh my god. Um, I thought it was play it
by year. I never understood. I was like, that doesn't
make any sense. I was like, but I said it
for my entire life. I said, yeah, let's play it
by year. I mean as a volleyball player, I guess like, look,
wait till sophomore year. Like you know, like I just
(14:27):
got nepads and like I'm really feeling myself, Like God, Andrew,
isn't it crazy how volleyball has become like the cornerstone
of every cult. Like literally, like if you have a cult,
you play volleyball. And I mean it's just a way
for guys to like play with women and not seem creepy.
(14:48):
Oh I set you up, you spike and sweet? All right?
I like your drink too. Everything. I just kidding, am
I who knows? Wilson? Okay, of coding, this is what
(15:11):
happens when you do an afternoon record Pals. Everything goes
really loopy, Okay. According to Lucian Wiggles, Ben Savage graduated
from Stanford University, where he was a member of the
Sigma Cli fraternity. Andrew what fraternity. Were you in? I
(15:31):
was a pike at two Lane, and uh, you know
these kids that get into Stanford that are a big
time actors. Do you think they have to do? You
think he had to get over a fourteen hundred. I
don't believe it. I don't I don't know. I'm not sure. Yeah,
because stuff does get murky. They're like, you see all
these actors getting like honorary degrees, and it's like, how
(15:52):
do you get an honorary degree when you didn't go
to any of the classes. Okay, they don't know fucking
what off pudding is. I'm going to get that went
to Harvard? Maybe she got in, I like normally who knows?
You know, well, she did do the work because she
actually got a degree in Russian literature so that she
(16:13):
could read deutstf Ski in Russian. I mean, who does who?
Who does that help? I'm not sure. It sounds like
someone had something to prove. Huh Okay, yeah, well I was.
I was having Lucien do a little bit of a
(16:34):
deep dive into some of them. Ben Savages co stars
and right or Strong. Funny that you bring this up
about the actors in the Ivy leagues because I noticed
Lucien told me that right or Strong went to Colombia
and he was there the same time as Julia Styles
and like a few other actors, like big actors at
(16:56):
that time. Yeah, I mean, look, maybe they are smart,
you know. I mean he did get into Sigma Kai,
which is a big time fraternity, you know. I mean
it's a Jewish fraternity. He's a Jewish kid. You know,
I'm Jewish, So like you know, I was I hated fraternity,
(17:19):
I really did. I was just gonna say, how was
your time in Pike because I feel like you would thrive,
but like not in a bad way. Um, I didn't. Um,
I never hated anyone. That's positive, dude. But did you
get Hayes? Because I did. I got Gnarly Hayes for volleyball. Really,
(17:42):
like what we had a whole thing, like it was
um for freshman year. There's a big party, I think.
I don't know if it was the first weekend of school,
but we were in season and you know, as a
little sister in my household, like I was training my
whole life for this um. So like literally they could
have poured gasoline in my eyes and I wouldn't have
(18:04):
even made a fucking peeple. But like there were seven
freshmen my freshman year of volleyball, and um, like they
cut up all our uniforms, drew sharpie all over our faces. Um,
they taped like pads and tampons all over us. They
corey made us choreograph a dance and they got They
(18:24):
gave us a handle. They gave us a handle of
vodka that we had to finish in five minutes and
four The girls didn't drink, so it's like me and
two other chicks that had to down the whole bottle
with the and a loaf of bread and then um yeah,
and then they had a big party and they'd blow
the whistle and we'd have to do the dance anytime
(18:45):
they blowed the whistle, looking like so fucked up and disgusting,
and all these girls were crying, and I was like
having the time of my life, like mouthing off, you know. Yeah.
It was like I was like, oh, you want me
to do a little dance. You think I'm gonna cry
over that? Please? Yeah? I I guess. Um. We did
(19:06):
this thing where they would put crab boil, like the
stuff where they cook you know crawfishing. Yea, they poured
down our pants and uh, it's beyond It's not just hot,
it's like you can't displace it with water. You have
to pour milk on your genitals too, so it's like
(19:27):
an it's like a third degree burn, our first degree burn.
What's funny you say that? Actually Pike is no longer
on campus because they actually did burn burn a kid. Um,
how do you have to fucking be people are just sick. Well,
the saddest part is the kid never made it as
a child actor. You had so much potential until that. Hazing. Yeah,
(19:57):
I know, hazing and male fraternity is honestly sick because
they can't just ever make it fun or silly. It
always has to get like dangerous and like physically harmful somehow. Yeah,
it's um. You know we did this thing though, where
uh we would take the house back. So as freshman,
there was like forty of us they and we went
(20:19):
and we stormed the house and we we hammered in
all this wood like they couldn't get in. And then
that's really funny. And then what we did is we
we oh this is a different day, but we we
we pulled the fire alarm. That was a different day.
And then we we put oil on the stairs. And
then one of the guy's ship in a pizza box. God,
(20:42):
oh my god, So I know I say this like
it was yes, like hey, so anyways, yeah, like real
like chill. So he ships in a pizza box. And
then one of the biggest meat heads in the fraternity
(21:03):
he hurt his knee because he fell down the stairs,
and he was so angry he wanted to kill everyone.
He threw a table on one of the kids. Yeah,
because he could have also died slipping down the stairs.
But we all know that he fell. He fell in
this ship, you know, Like, but you could act as
(21:23):
tough as you want, but we all know you got
some human ship on you. You know. So that was college. Yeah, No,
college was crazy, and I'm glad we made it out.
I mean, we've been through we've been through some stuff. Wow. Okay, uh, Andrew,
(21:54):
this is so fun. I don't want this to ever
and okay, Andrew Lucien has uh yes, Okay, So when
I found out that Fred Savage from human ship to
(22:19):
Fred back to Fred, Okay, what's up? I love the
idea of the bully the hazing bully diving head first
into a pizza box of human ship. Men men are
not well, like truly, men are unwell in every way.
It was yeah, and it wasn't a little bit of
ship because we ate the old pizza. But anyways, what
(22:43):
speaking of men, they were unwell. When I found out
like that, it was so crazy Fred Savage having this
crazy career comeback in Friends in college and then he
was in that new Apple TV show with Tim the Arish,
and then equally great to his comeback was his fault
(23:04):
from Grace by way of sexual misconduct, like so many
of the greats. Yeah, he he was on a new
production because he just started like NonStop booking new shows
and then they had to shut down the production because
of sexual misconduct played by Year Pudding. I'll tell you
(23:32):
what it's off putting. Wait so wait why I love
that we're talking about Ben, but we're like, look, let's
get let's burn Fred one more time. Like no, I
just find the whole thing shocking because I just like,
it's hard to believe that I could not know that
they were brothers until an hour before this, Like I'm stunned.
(23:55):
I do love that Ben at the beginning of his life,
told every buddy, I'm Fred's brother, and now not so much.
You know, well, that's so crazy. There's a lot of
like Dave Franco had to deal with that. You know.
I guess any brother or a sibling of all the
many people, Um, Kevin Spacey's sister brother isn't stoked. You know.
(24:22):
Einstein guy had a brother, didn't he And no one
talks about him. No one talked about what it was
like to be a brother. I have a I have
a buddy. He's a twin his older. His twin brother
is a huge country star and he's you know, and
you know, sells insurance. Yeah, what's that like? Uh, he
(24:46):
drinks a lot? Right, Because we did also know a
comedian in the open mic scene many years ago whose
sister was a major, major movie star. Oh yeah, Anne Hathaway.
I know. That's why I said, buddy playing by year
(25:08):
should have took a hyenus on that one. I don't
know if that works. Yeah, it was Anne Hathaway's brother
who also, by the way, I have always stood by
when the world turned on Anne Hathaway for no reason,
(25:31):
which I look back, that's just a treacherous shameful time
in history when people turned on Anne Hathaway for no reason,
and I was out there on Twitter doing the good fight, saying, hey,
get off Anne, all right, what have you guys accomplished? Nothing? Okay?
According to Lucian Winkles, one of the one of the
(25:53):
few times Ben and Fred shared the stage together was
when Fred guests are as a lecherous professor pursuing Corey's
girlfriend prophetic. Honestly, do you remember that episode? Because I do,
(26:14):
I kind of remember it. Um Oh, he went on
Boy Meets World as a professor and then hit on
a creepy professor who hit on to Pengga. Wow, I
mean that's I guess when it started. I know. Well,
it's funny how they were. You could go there on
those just like daytime TV back then. Dude, I heard
(26:38):
I gotta find this song. I was hitting golf balls
like two days ago, and like an old school song
came on. The whole song was about a young girl
and how it entices the older man but he can't
do it, but he wants to do it and he can't,
and it's just like just because it adds like a
(26:59):
jazzy eat. Everyone was like completely fine with this ship,
Like I don't know, that's wild. I know, like honestly,
it was all like legal like fifteen years ago, like
ten years ago, it was like all fine. That's how
famous Fred Savage was is that he could commit uh
(27:23):
sexual assault in a show in front of everyone, and
everyone's like that Fred Savage. Well, I think there's been
so many people like that, like you think of I
always think about UM, like Law and Order SVU, like
if you get cast as the rapists, you know, like
Johnny did an episode where he was he was like
an ice cream truck driver, like and I was like,
(27:46):
what was that? Like, I don't know, but A Long
Respue is also like the coolest show in the world. Yeah.
I mean, look, there's been plenty of artists that have
literally told you that they're creep and everyone's just like
that's you know, yeah, we'll stand up music whatever. Johnny
is not a creep. I want to reiterate, Johnny's the best,
very great, wonderful man, non creepy man. UM. I love
(28:11):
Johnny dear friend of mine, you know, alumni of this
podcast who has no creeps on UM. Anyways, according to
Lucian Wiggles in the reboot Girl Meets World premiered on
the Disney Channel, where Korean Tupango were married. Did you
catch the reboot, Andrew, And if so, did you feel
(28:32):
that they should be married in real life they should
be married or on the show? No? No, on the show,
on the show. I mean, I just you know these things. No,
I did not watch it at all. If anything, I
can't believe how much just hearing Girl Meets World, like
the visceral reaction I feel of not wanting to watch
(28:54):
that amazes me how much I love Boy Meets World,
Like it just shows how much growth I might have
had as a person, you know, like it just that
show just tells me that you know their careers, they
never really did anything in between. I know. It's I
think sometimes like that happens to people a lot, Like
(29:16):
they have such big hit, but this business is so fickle,
Like honestly, you just never know. Yeah, Like I couldn't
um see like Seth Cohen and Summer being parents and
like five years from now of the O C. Bring
me back to O C. You know I watched that
(29:37):
again over pandemic of course you did. Was it good?
The best? There's a lot of darkness in that show.
Oh my god, someone dies every four episodes. Yeah yeah,
and you're like, hmm, I didn't see that so much
in Orange County. It was just one kid. It's always
(30:01):
one you know. Yeah, um, okay, so tell me. But back,
First of all, I want to say, like I hate reboots.
They suck. Like I was so mad, like you know,
the world was like all those in cells got so
mad about Ghostbusters and all this stuff, like and Oceans eight.
Oceans eight was actually really good. I did enjoy female
(30:23):
Ghostbusters reboots, although what I wanted to be like is
just give us our stop making all female reboots, like,
let us have our own new movies. Well yeah, yeah,
I mean it is funny to just make everything like
good Fellas but girls. Yeah yeah, I'm like, I fucking
(30:45):
hate you. Let us just sell our own movies that
we right, you know. Yeah, they're like, well, we could
let you in, but it still has to be the
male story. Everyone still knows it's a man movie. Yeah,
you know, like you're just stepping you're stepping in for
a little while. Also, it's like it's funny that it
(31:05):
has to be like all women, you know, like yeah,
but it's so funny because it just sets those movies
up to fail because like the culture is still you
find out quickly if you're on the internet at all,
like inherently misogynists like men still like unintelligent men still
(31:26):
feel like that comedy is for men, and so it
sets those movies up. Like God, the backlash those movies
face was insane. I mean it's uh, you know what
it felt like it felt like before like transgender, like
before people came out against that, Like that was kind
(31:49):
of like the appetizer before like this like this wave,
like you could kind of see it that like God
to people hate women like succeeding anything outside the norm.
You know, Yeah, it's crazy, like how much like why
would you ever care what anyone else is doing? Like
(32:10):
that has nothing to do with you. Well, it's because Ghostbusters.
They watched it with their dad at the local movie
theater and they bonded over it and they're like, dude,
that fucking ghost god fucking murder, right dad, And he's
like yes, son, and he pats him on the head.
He's like, let's go to t ball and and then
(32:30):
we can talk about how moral they fucked up Ghosts
and we're like, gosh, thanks dad, and then he never
saw his dad again, and then he blames it on
the women in a movie twenty years later. Yes, but
it's also crazy to like, you know, people have such
an intense nostalgia as well, and then so you're already
taking such a big, big risk on doing a reboot
(32:52):
and then to say, yeah, these it's just God, that
was so visceral. That was so I felt that in
(33:13):
my core. I really did well. Honestly, I had a
new wave of this, like this idea of what I'm
talking about because I did just get on TikTok a
few weeks ago. Andrew, I had no idea the depths
of how unwell humanity is. TikTok is. I don't even
(33:41):
know exactly how to explain it other than in a dance.
So it's like, but are you on it? Like it's
so toxic? Well, have you ever seen a TikTok or
in real life? Like I was at the the airport
the other day and I saw like two kids that
were probably have ninety million followers. If you see it
(34:02):
in real life, you really realize how incredibly dumb it is.
And I can't get enough of it. You know, no, no,
but honestly, like, so what I do is I go
on Twitter and I read things that make me very
sad and then and so depressed. I wake up in
the morning, I roll over, I go, let's see how
(34:24):
to ruin my day, and I roll and I scroll
and I don't. I keep scrolling until I find something
that really hurts my feelings, and then I go, you
know what will help, Maybe I'll go over to TikTok
and get a little ginger in my palate. And then
I go to TikTok and I see about forty pro
(34:45):
Trump videos, one dancing video, and then a cute puppy
and and that kind of somehow balances out Twitter, like
I think they kind of they're both horrible in different ways,
and they kind of I don't know, to me, Um,
they're both in different ways that like make me feel
shitty in a way that kind of in their own
(35:05):
unique way. Well, I got on there, and I guess
on Twitter, it's like sort of like the only people
who follow me like chose to follow me, whereas TikTok
they show your stuff to a bunch of random people.
The algorithms, so you're exposed to people who don't necessarily
want to follow you, And so the comments I were
(35:28):
getting were so insane it made me depressed. And I
normally just turned comments off on everything because I just
don't want to see because like I don't want that
to affect me, like putting my stuff out or my whatever.
And they were so gnarly. I was honestly getting sad.
Some of them were really funny, Like I did get
some insults that I'm like talking about on stage, but um,
(35:52):
I then muted. I found out you could mute words
in the comments because they don't let you not view them.
You can't turn off not notifications. I muted women, female females,
voice vocal fry, punchline joke like jokes because they would
(36:13):
say where's the punchline? Where's the joke? I haven't get
to the joke or whatever. I love that every comment
is just where yeah that comment? So now I figure
that out. It's blissful. But like they were, every single
(36:34):
one was misogynists based like just for being a woman.
They like hate you. They don't even listen to what
you're saying. Yeah, the comments that hurt are not the
like generic usually like the generic like yeah, nice try
or not funny. Try. I saw one where Andrew's funny
like a root canal, and then the next comment is
(36:56):
I was wrong. He's great, like like the guy watched
the podcast and like how to change a heart. I
just cannot even fathom how big of a loser you
have to be to comment something mean on a stranger
(37:17):
you've never met comedy video. I mean, the problem is
you're you're going against fourteen fifteen year old kids on TikTok,
and they are fucking ruthless. Yeah, but I just want
to be like, listen, you little fucker. You've never done
anything in your goddamn life. They're like I shouldn't, I shouldn't.
(37:39):
You can't even probably doing all of you fucking loser. Okay,
that one hurt, but yeah, now I like it now
that I muted all the misogynists. But I love that
I literally muted women and female and all of a sudden,
it's a different app experience for me. Hysterical. I mean,
(38:00):
it's uh, I can't imagine because I see like Comedy Central,
like you see the comments, like I never look when
they posted anything of mine, if it's ever a female,
it's just like they're like they're the funniest part about
it is like they complain that females don't only talk
about sex or that, oh I heard this other female.
(38:20):
You're writing the same fucking comment you're doing. You're doing it,
You're doing what you're saying they do. The irony is
so fucking thick. Yeah, it's insane. It's crazy. Um, TikTok
is highly addictive. And I found that, like, I don't know,
I haven't jumped fully on board yet because each video
(38:43):
you're fighting for the audience again, you know what I mean,
You're not guaranteed, and like Instagram, at least you're gonna
get the same number, you know what I mean, Like
pretty much every time if you put out a video
like like you know what you're getting TikTok, you can
get two million views on one and then seven on
the next one. Yeah, it's completely nonsensical. Oh god, oh
(39:09):
my god, oh my god. Okay, oh my god. Um okay. So,
according to Lucian, Ben Savage has played a younger flashback
version of the actor Mandy Potankin on three separate occasions,
including Criminal Minds and Homeland. Yeah, Lucian Wiggles does really
(39:31):
good work. Andrew. Which actor do you feel you would
be a good flashback version? For flashback version, I mean
that would have to be an old as actor. Then
at this point I think Tom Selleck. Yeah, I'm just
sure it would and Fat too fat. I don't think
and Fat. Honestly, you should be cast tomorrow as a
(39:54):
young Tom Selleck. I'd like to be a young Leaf Schreiber,
but he's that much older than me. Oh my god,
I totally see that. You could totally do that. Yeah, yeah,
I could play him Like I met him one time
and I thought I looked like him. Have you ever
met someone that you thought you look like and then
you see him in person, you go, okay, they're bet
(40:15):
they're a little bit there. He's better, like like his
his everything about, Like I took a picture with him.
I just he's like six to his head's big. He's
just there for an actor to be six too. Yeah,
I know he did it. Maybe he's not. Maybe he's
six ft. I don't know. Yeah, wait are you in St.
(40:38):
Louis right now? Yeah? How is it over there? Um?
I don't know, Like I'm gone a lot, Like so,
I've been traveling so much, and I went and I
worked on that f Boys show, so I was gone
for two months there. So like for four months, I've
been in like paradise when I was like living in St. Louis.
(40:58):
Did you just get back from that up? I got
back a few months ago from that I was in.
I was in Cabo for two months, Like, oh that's
where they shot this one. Yeah, that's incredible. Was it amazing?
It was a pretty good life. Like, you know, I
have a girlfriend now, so it's tough to be away
from her. Yeah, she didn't come. She visited. She visited
(41:20):
one time, and uh, but I played golf a lot.
But you know, it's you know, it's funny when you
go to like a spring break spot and to stay,
you know, right like I don't know, it feels a
little like like it stopped feeling spring breaking. It did,
but you were like Tan and like I love Cabba,
(41:43):
Like the food is great. It's just a great vibe.
Did you did you find that or I didn't? I did,
Like I love a beach, you know, Like I'm from Florida,
so it's like I feel like we always connect over
you know. Some famously got Andrew to my audience and
ers who are unaware famously got arrested for driving a
(42:05):
jet ski in a in a manateese zone in um Florida.
Yeah yeah, that's you know, my past, and that leave
Schreiber would play maybe one of the best stories of
all time. I mean I could tell it. I mean
it was. I was going about seventy and a in
a seven. Uh. I think when he pulled me over,
(42:26):
it's like you're going about eighty five over and I
was like getting pulled over. The best is I did
a few great things that I don't really talk about usually.
I had a girl on the back. There was a
girl on the back no no, please no, with the
with the with a giant fake boobs and and a
barbed wire tattoo like and somehow kid Rock was playing
(42:50):
out of her ears. It was fucking awesome, so I'm
sure I was trying to impress her, you know. And
the top they pull you over. When you get pulled
over in the water, you gotta go to park on
a dock. And I had a very like popular restaurant docks.
(43:12):
So people were watching and I was hammered like I
should have got it, But I didn't get arrested that day.
I got arrested six months later, when I was on
a date with a stripper no no, no, who didn't
speak English, who just got done telling me that I
was a nice guy and that's all she said. She
(43:35):
was about to be like, and this is how much
you owe me for the date. She's like trying to
swipe her venmo and get that all out of there.
She Venmo requests you at the table. But it was
like we had a vibe. Um it was money. So
(43:58):
the cops come in the no no yeah, guns blazing
no no no no no, so the cops. So I'm
dropping her off and kind of a shady part of
town and um, she's like she kept going here so nice.
You're different than everyone else that I've ever dated. You're
nice and like and I was like, man, this is
(44:20):
going really well, Like I feel really good. And then
the cop ran my license plate because I was in
like a bad neighborhood and I thought he was arresting
me for prostitution, you know, um and uh he had
He goes get out of the car and I was like,
I didn't. This was six months later, you know, and
(44:42):
he had his He's like, you have a warrant for
your rest and I was like, man, what what forar officer?
You know? And he's like you were and he started
laughing because he was getting it through his like CB
radio and he's like, were you speeding on a jet
ski and a manate zone? And he never paid the
ticket and I was like, you know, you know, he
(45:03):
had me very specific, you know, And so I go,
will you at least tell my day, who, by the way,
can value that I'm a nice I go, will you
tell her that I'm not a murderer? And um, I
(45:25):
don't know what he told her, but he spoke Spanish
as well, and she threw the keys and like ran
and I was like, man, she loves manatees. She didn't
want anything to do with me, right, And it's probably
a smart choice at that point in time. But I
owed eighty dollars. That was it, Just eighty dollars, like
that was the That was the ticket. And I went
(45:45):
to jail for eighty dollars. And I'm in jail with
the two toughest guys I've ever met, and they were
like talking about like how they beat the ship out
of someone and like like rob somebody and they're like
what about you? And I didn't. No no, no no
no no no no no no no no no. Oh
(46:07):
my god. Oh so I had a dilemma. I had
a dilemma. I go, either I tell the truth or
um if I lie, and they seed in my eyes
you know that I'm not just like you know, I
stabbed some you know what I mean. Like, so I
just go. I was speedy on a jet ski and
(46:32):
real fast. What they say, Oh my god, they got quiet,
and I'm like, here's the time. This is when people
get murdered and got and it got quiet and I
was like, whatever the funk They asked me next, this
is gonna get intense. It was intense. And the guy
looks at me. I swear to God in my life
(46:52):
and he looks at me, goes, Yamahar Kalisaki. Oh my god,
your guardian angels were with you. I go, I go Yamaha,
And he goes, that's a good scheme, mate, that's a
good scheme. And like I pready got after that, like
we were, we were good, but they appreciated your honesty.
(47:15):
Think Heaven's um while that story I will hold with
me in my heart. The best part, the best part.
As I went back to no, I'm gonna say you went,
Oh my god that night to apologize and to show
her that I am and she was like, she's like
(47:39):
staying hundred feet away from me. She wanted nothing to
do with me. And I was like, no, manate, no
kill no, Oh my god. I don't know what I
was saying, but I was very drunk and I was
just like no, no, no, googled like no kill Manate
threw me out of there. I just remember, yeah, oh
(48:00):
my god, Wow, incredible. Alright, Mary fun kill right or Strong?
Ben Savage? Mr Feenie, Okay Rider Strong still friend? Right? Yeah? Yeah,
(48:22):
I was in love with him, as I have a
pension for bad boys. Can I be honest? And it's
gonna sound mean. He didn't age great like the college years.
He he fell apart a little. I think it happens
to the best of us. He was very hot early.
He had a gap in his teeth, which is kind
of sexy. Is that? Okay? So you're going to kill
(48:44):
right or Strong? Who was the last guy? Mr? Belvedere, Phenie?
Mr Fie? Who was Mr Velvet? Here? Where was he from?
That was another show? I know that's I remember that vividly.
I'm trying to remember. I feel like it was the
same actor in different clothes. But yeah, I think you're right. Um.
(49:08):
I would say I would kill Mr Belvedere just because
he's already dying soon. I mean Mr Feenie an afternoon
record in afternoon record, I would kill Mr Feenie because
he's already gonna die. I wouldn't feel bad, I get
it out of a way. I'd go, look, it's either
(49:29):
this or you know, um, heart disease. Um. And then
I would fuck. I would fuck um Sean. And I'd
marry Ben of course, of course, yeah, of course. And
yeah Ben seems really marriable for sure. He seems like
unlike Fred, stand up guy. Um. In your opinion, Andrew,
(49:55):
do you think Sean was ultimately a good friend to
Corey because there was that one episode where, oh yeah,
when Corey decided that he had feelings for Topanga, Buddy
was too scared to make a move, and so then
he made a move. Seawn made a move on to
Panga in order to motivate Corey. But I don't know
(50:18):
about that move. Although high school's high school, and we've
all made a lot of mistakes, it is a weird
move to motivate your friend by having sex with the
girl that they love. Um, come on, bro, you can
do it too. Um, it's a it's it's an interesting move.
And I feel like in high school, my buddy Rusty
did that to me. Uh remember, feel like all your
(50:42):
friends name are Rusty from Florida. We just they're numbered,
um one through thirty. What's your step brother's name? Against No, No,
that's Jake the Snake, Snake and self titled. Um he
gotta mullet now and uh here Florida's stories. He's the best.
(51:06):
He just gets his only thing that was off limits
where his puzzles. You'd always go stay away from my puzzles, man.
And I was like, dude, I didn't touch the elephant.
Ear like, get off my back. But yeah, so yeah, yeah,
that is a that's a messed up move because it
seems it's selfish. It's you could pretend all you want.
(51:27):
San we all know, So Rusty did that to you
in high school. Yeah, with this girl Louise, I told
him that I had a crush on her, and literally,
I think before I was even done with the sentence,
they were making out. Oh my god, that's so sad,
and it literally, I mean it feels like that at
any point in life, but when you're a kid, it
literally feels like you're being stabbed in the chest, which
(51:51):
I happened to me just a few years later. Oh yeah,
I forgot you stabbed. Oh my god, I always forget
you got stabbed. And I'm just relieved you made it
through that. Who knows Jesus Christ. Yeah, that was wild.
That's a whole another that's too long. I think maybe
(52:15):
yeah next year. And Wilson, you don't have to tell
this stabbed story. And I'm you know, every time I
talk to you and we get back into your past,
I really am convinced that you have a fleet of
angels protecting you or Devil's trying to kill me. I
don't both honestly, because like the situations you have been in,
(52:38):
I it's incredible. Um yeah, it's weird when you get
older and like you step really step away from that
kind of life and you're like, what the like you know,
I don't know, it's weird, feel like a different life. Yeah, No,
I feel like that. I feel like we share this,
we actually both share this in common, where it literally
(53:02):
feels like I know we're young, but like I've lived
nine different distinct lives, yeah, and we committed to all
of them, uh to a point like I don't know, man,
it's uh yeah, it's weird. It's weird to think about,
but it's nice to be on the other side of it,
(53:24):
you know. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, this is a pretty
weird life we're in now. It is very I mean,
I'm in St. Louis. How the hell did I get here?
I have no idea, no idea, no idea. My apartment
is nice. You fully live in St. Louis now, like
with like a beautiful apartment and a hot girlfriend, and
(53:49):
you golf all the time. I saw you on TV
golfing with the golf instructor. I love golf so much.
I just played today. I just played with strangers. That's
all I do is a team up with random people.
And I'm like, hey, hey, I'm Andrew, man, I'm Dave.
You want to hang out for four hours? They've never met?
(54:09):
And it's like I could never do that? Really, yeah, why,
I just like that's you know, like I'm seeing someone now.
But when you go on an online date and they
asked for a drink or dinner. Like you don't say
dinner because you don't know that you've never met them,
(54:32):
so you don't know if dinner is too big of
a commitment. That's stock we're talking sixty and ninety minutes.
You're doing that with four times four times four hours.
That's like a wild commitment. Yeah, you do have to
sleep with all of them too, but it's just make
a lesson to I don't know. Yeah, it's um, but
(54:58):
it doesn't get too deep on the golf, of course,
you know you're like, oh, yeah, oh, look at that.
You gotta see seven iron. Oh you do for a living.
Oh I'm in accounting. Oh that's got to be boring.
Not as boring as golf, am I right? Well? The
only thing, because you know, my dad is really into golf.
(55:18):
The main thing, the thing I hear him complain about
that you hate is if only if someone's really slow,
it messes up the whole golf course. We had that today. Sorry,
I don't mean to call you out, Mitch. Mitch, you
need to hurry the funk up. Honestly, it's disrespectful to
the rest of the golf course. Not only was he slow,
(55:39):
very very annoying, very annoying. Yeah, see this is what
I I don't want to play golf, amongst many other
reasons that I would never want to play. So you're
dating someone anyways. Okay, So according to Lucian Wiggles, peng
is According to Lucian Wiggles, Topanga is now married to
(56:10):
a former white rapper named Jensen Carp. What was his
I do'm not sure. Like he came out with a
memoir called like I was almost as famous as Kanye
West or something. Um, And she married this man in
second marriage. So I don't know what's going on with
(56:31):
Topanga because I remember and like I would have never
known that I could be by. I'm still not by
because I've never hooked up with a woman. But I
also don't think we are minds were open to that
in our generation compared to like if I was six
years younger, where literally everyone is by now. Um. But
(56:53):
I look back and like I remember thinking like she
was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in
my life, and that like I looking back, I was
like I think I really had like a full crush
on her. I think everyone did. It was kind of
like the Kelly k like just so otherworldly beautiful. And
(57:14):
you know, I wonder if she, if Sean never did
that to Corey, would to Penga ever end up with
a white rapper, you know what I mean? I know,
I think I think Sean was the gateway drunk to
a white rapper. I can see that. I can see
point A to point B where you're going with that.
I honestly can see that fully. Yeah, I mean there's
(57:40):
got to be something to like when you're a child
star to what's the best way to rebel? You know? Uh,
and that's a second marriage to a white rapper who
you know, at some point rappers really don't have Like comedians,
we can do this for quite a while, but you
don't really have a big window to make it as
(58:04):
a rapper. You know, eventually she'll probably tell him to
get a job, right. I don't think he's a white
rapper anymore. I think he's just a white man. But
like I think I think he's no, No, I don't
(58:27):
know if you ever shake that. I think he's just
a podcast or now. But like wha, because like I
was like, oh, that was also a recent decision who
she's currently married to. But I don't know, maybe I
should look him up before I say anything, because maybe
he's like an incredible rapper or something. Yeah, he's probably
pretty good. I mean, I wonder what his stage name is.
I bet you it can't be whatever the name you said,
(58:49):
Jensen Carp. I wonder the same thing because the sad
he grew up in Calabasas, which also did track with
what his name was. Jensen Carp sounds like he's definitely lived,
grew up in Calabasas. I don't wait here we go.
He was just telling us something right now in real time. Oh.
He was also known for finding the shrimp in Cereal.
(59:10):
Oh that guy, what happened? I don't know that story. Well,
A lot of people think he made it up that
he put the shrimp inside the cereal for win, like
a ton of money in a lawsuit or something. I
just remember going viral on Twitter. I don't know if
he won money. I don't remember, but it felt very fishy.
(59:48):
Ten years in ye oh my god, Well, Andrew, like
I enjoyed um watching you on Nikki. What's their show
called Welcome Home Nick Nicklaser. It was so when you
drove away in the car, I was scream laughing. In
front of my TV. Well, that was a real game
(01:00:09):
I would play in Florida called You Got Left and
What You Do? It's a fun game, this story that
talks about Florida and going to the wildest place. So
let me just give you like kind of it's a
pretty complicated game. So what you do is you make
(01:00:29):
sure you're as far away from the house as possible,
and then you just leave your friend there, hopefully insanely intoxicated,
and then you call them with four of your friends
and go, you Got Left, Oh my god, and then twisted. Yeah,
it was before Uber too said oh my god, I'm
not Florida is the scariest From what I've heard from you,
(01:00:54):
Florida is the single scariest place in the world. We
left a friend, no all me. I swear to god,
this is a true story. We left again at a
strip club and he he just became the assistant manager
of the strip and he moved in with the owner.
(01:01:14):
He got addicted to coke and ended up in like
rehab like and we're like, man, we got him. You
need to do like a dateline, but for like your
personal stories, um in Florida. Yeah, like I definitely should
do some kind of story book or some kind of book.
I want to see a TV show where we are
(01:01:37):
like find out where they are now. You just interviewed Rusty,
but like a raw thing years old. It's like done
in the style of investigative journalism. Yeah, but they don't
figure out anything. They figure out that I live in St. Louis.
(01:02:00):
That's how it's the Oh god, alright, this has been
too fun. I don't want it to end. But we
have one segment left. We like to ask our guests
called fan on the Street street and it's where you
(01:02:24):
tell us about if you have like any fun running
um with the celebrity of fun anecdote that you had
in your life. Oh yeah, other than Leaveshriver being taller
than Yeah. Yeah. So here's a fun story. So I'm
in Amsterdam. I'm twenty one years old. I just I
(01:02:45):
just got done studying abroad for two weeks in Madrid
mighty and two weeks in Petty. I learned a little bit.
I'm not gonna lie, I learned a bit living on
on the land, off the land and the hotel. And um,
I'm in Amsterdam and I'm very very stoned. And there
(01:03:06):
was a market where you would um, where they had
shwarma like any food. It was all like like snack
based for people that are really high. And I'm in
like a place I'm about to get some shwarma. I
love his scharm and Um standing next to me. I
(01:03:31):
just feel this like like a presence that I've never felt.
And granted I'm very very high, but I just feel like,
I don't know, like it felt like warmth and like
I was just in the presence of greatness. And I
look over and the guy like was had um dreads
(01:03:54):
like white man dreads, and very like very baggy clothes.
He looked somewhat homeless, to be honest, but also the
most incredibly good looking person I've ever seen in my life,
even though he's doing everything in his power to look
like dogshit. And I look closer and he's so tall
(01:04:15):
that I don't know who this person is, but it's
like I'm just feeling it. And I look up and
I just go your heath ledger and he goes um.
He just looks at me, is yeah, Like he's talking
like he's in a like an Australian accent, and I'm
(01:04:36):
so stone that he's talking so slow that I'm I'm
not even staying like I don't even know have enough.
I have very bad a d D. Like I couldn't
hear his words. Like also, I was shocked, and he's like,
yeah I am, and I was like okay, cool uh
And then I walk with him outside of the Shwarma place.
He doesn't want this, you know, like he didn't expect
(01:04:59):
me to following them, you know, and he's like I'm talking.
He's saying things to me and I can't understand them,
and I go, I just want you to know that
you are incredible and ten things I hate about you.
And at this point he was already in like Brokeback Mountain,
like this was not the movie that no one the
(01:05:21):
Patriot movie is incredible though, Oh my god. So he's
like oh yeah, you know, and then I just walk away.
I was like kind of embarrassed at that. I swear
to God, Like four days later, I'm in the Greek Islands,
I mean an island, no no, which is like two
thousand miles away from Amsterdam. Yea, I ship you not
(01:05:48):
into no no no no no, And there is Mr
Belvedere No no, no, no no. There's fucking heat Ledger,
what the hell I'm telling you it's not so this time,
I'm drunk and he's talking to like five of the
(01:06:11):
hottest women I've ever seen in my life. And my
brother is like, yeah, just go in there, he'll remember you.
And I'm like I don't think so, but all right.
And I go in there and I'm like Heath and
he everyone like looks at me like like what is it,
like a crazy fan. I was like, no, it's me Amsterdam.
(01:06:34):
And he's like looking at me like like call security,
you know, And I was just like, no, man, you're
what are you following me around Europe? And then I
remember him going you're following me around Europe? And I
all right, whatever, and then I just walked away. That
was whoa, that's a crazy story. Though, Oh my god,
he had such insane star power. How could you have
(01:06:57):
run in to each other in different trees within a week,
you know, I have no idea. And forever I thought
he was such a piece of ship for like, be like,
you're following me around Europe And someone was like, you're
the asshole in this story, Like yeah he was. He
was literally just like making a joke back to you. Yeah,
(01:07:18):
I'm the asshole I heard like about because I always
loved him so much. He was like one of my
number one. Like I was deeply, deep, deep, deep, deep
deep in love with him. And um I heard he
was like super shy in real life. Yeah, I mean
he definitely didn't want whatever I was selling. Pacy was
(01:07:38):
also in uh An Eo spar from Dawson's Creek, and
that was also was in love with him. Of course,
another bad boy. I took a girl from him that night. Andrew,
oh my god, really similar to him though, that's you
(01:08:00):
guys like look a lot alike. But the day my grandpa,
by the day my grandpa died, we went on a
pub crawl in his aunt hilarious, and we wore snorkel
gear because we knew there were gonna be baby pools.
I wanted to parties. And we jumped in the pool
and my brother jumped in after me and he he
(01:08:21):
landed on my face and I had goggles and he
cut my eye so bad. I got out. I'm gushing blood.
And the girl that was talking to Pacy saw this
absurdain attempt at trying to get attention and aided my
eye of blood and then we ended up like hanging
(01:08:43):
out for like three days and eos like it was
pretty cool. Oh my god, what what a life you've lived.
This is too good, Andrew, this is too fun. Yeah,
I hate for it to end. Great to see you.
You're doing so well, one of my favorite comedians. Like,
I miss getting to watch you do comedy because you
(01:09:05):
make me laugh so hard. Oh man, you're too nice.
And I honestly like every time we catch up, like
it makes me miss Like maybe that's like great that
we don't talk that much, because it makes it this
much more special. But you really are an incredible human being,
an incredible comic, and I miss you dearly. I really don't.
(01:09:28):
I miss you like freaking Fred Savage misses his good reputation,
you know. Oh god, all right, thank you so much.
I guess we can't talk that and no, okay, we'll
end it there. I'm clapping. That's a clap at mast
(01:10:02):
tasting
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