June 6, 2022 • 58 mins
Blair welcomes her dear friend, Greta Titelman (Los Espookys, Search Party), to the show. She comes on to profess her love to a certain rockin' chef.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, everyone, it's your boy Blair. I'm back so excited.
Oh my gosh, this episode it's so good. It's one
of my favorites, featuring one of my best friends, Greta Titleman.
You know her from Lois's Spooky's on HBO, from Search
Party on HBO, and you know her as one of
(00:20):
my best friends and from when we used to host
the Blair and Greta Show together for a couple of
years in l A before the city was ravaged by
COVID and we stopped. Anyways, we're still very close and
this episode was just a barn burner. Oh my gosh.
Make sure you follow Greta on Instagram and Twitter at
(00:44):
Gertie Bird g E r T I E b I
r D. She has an awesome podcast called Senior Superlatives.
I was a guest on. I think you'll love it.
And as for me, what I want you to know
about is I have a show on the night. This
comes out Monday, June six in Los Angeles. Greta will
(01:07):
coincidentally Beyond the show with me at the Allegian Theater.
I'm gonna be doing an hour and it would mean
so much to me if you guys came out. I'm
also going to be with Ron Functions June ninth, roughly
eleven at the DC Improv so come out to that.
And guys, if you could please take a second to
(01:27):
write a review for this podcast, the Dear Owen Wilson Podcast,
I would appreciate it so much. I need more reviews.
I don't have very many reviews. I know this thing
just launched, but where my guys at, where my girls at?
A little review takes no time and it's for free,
and I want to keep this thing going for you
(01:48):
guys because I'm having so much fun doing it, like
all my bodies getting to the bottom of the fandom.
So yeah, support us, rate, subscribe, review, tell your friends,
send the episode over all right, I love you so much.
Enjoy this episode. Bye bye, Hello everyone, and welcome back
(02:17):
to another incredible episode of your favorite podcast, Dear Owen
Wilson with your host Blair Saki. It's great to be back.
It's great to have a podcast. Words I never thought
i'd say. And guests, what, guys, I hope you're liking
it so far. I'm having so many of my favorite
buddies on having actually the time of my life, getting
(02:41):
to the bottom of these shoot interviews, and Lucian and
I are back today with no exception of Hollywood's biggest starlet.
Right now, one of my dearest friends of the ages,
the love of my life, please welcome to the show.
Great titleman, everybody, my God, Blair. What a honor and
(03:14):
a blessing it is to be on Dear Owen Wilson.
You know, you're one of the greatest comedians to ever live,
one of the greatest humans to ever live, and now
we are on one of the greatest podcasts to ever exists.
So I thank you, Thank you. Greta. Yeah, it's crazy
to have a podcast because I just thought, you know,
there is a hole in the market and only I
(03:37):
can feel it. You know that's and that actually is true.
And what's crazy, Greta, is I think that you might
be the person who has been on the show the most,
maybe three, this might be four times over the years. Yeah,
I think this is my fourth time. Wow, that's huge,
(03:57):
because yeah, that just shows you I was special you
are to me the show. And of course Lucian Wiggles,
Uh you remember Lucian, I remember Lucian. Love Lucian. Okay,
would love to meet Lucian. Yeah, I hope one day
we might be able to orchestrate that. I'm not sure.
Mysterious man that Lucian. Um, it's you know, when I
(04:20):
try to spend time with him, a lot of times
he ducks me. He doesn't. I really am always pursuing
that friendship really hard, and he tries to keep it
strictly work, which is frustrating. But yeah, it does suck
when you work so closely with someone to never get
that kind of one on one time that you kind
of want to sit down and throw back some back,
some bruise, you know. You know I like to toss
(04:43):
back some have some nice friendship. I know, God, that
sounds nice speaking of we need to do it soon.
I know you don't drink beer, but you drink something
you need to drink. I did not stop drinking, you know,
I have never stopped my alcohol consumption. You've kind of
your you really, I'm really impressed with how you've grown
(05:04):
to like restrain yourself. Oh thanks. Yeah, I didn't drink
in February. Um, that was because I was doing a
lot of meditations and trying to contact spirits and stuff.
But I will have a beer with you, for sure. Definitely,
that's great. I would love that. Okay, well, let's just
freaking get into it. Guys, Greta, are you ready to
(05:26):
read this letter? I am all right. Let's hear a babe. Okay,
the floor is yours? Okay, I mean, I mean should
I'm I like, I'm really about timing myself because I
could really go on and on and on about this
legend that I've written this letter to. So I'm going
to make sure that I keep it like short and
sweet for you. Yeah, I mean, you really don't. There
(05:48):
are no time constraints. You can read as long as
you want, but go ahead cut to an hour from now.
I'm still reading, Okay, dear guy, Notice how I pronounced
your last name Fierni, whereas a lot of your more
pedestrian fancife fieri. And I know the real you. I
(06:09):
know the real you, my Italian Southern Californian slash Nevadan King.
Where to even begin with how I feel about you? God?
Some people think you're just this funny guy, this kind
of fake little cartoon character who the Food Network invented.
But I don't. I see the human you. I see
(06:31):
all of you first starters. I love your whimsy. Before
you were even really a thing, you decided to name
your restaurants Johnny garlics Okay, that is classified as a
California pasta grill. I mean, who knew you could even
grill pasta. I love that you have a sauce named
(06:52):
Donkey Sauce, a title that you know most people would
remotely not want to even touch. A sauce named donkey sauce.
It you love it and you make it appetizing. And
even though I know you named it donkey Sauce because
it kicks ass, which I think is so cute and awesome,
I know you named it donkey Sauce because you love
(07:14):
to eat ass, which is exactly what I want you
to do to me. I love how committed you are
to your look, a truly truly iconic look. And people
use that word iconic too often when they don't mean it,
But with you, I mean it. That frosted tip little
head that I want to so badly kiss and have
(07:35):
crack off in my mouth because I know you've bleached
it so much. I would give you an oliplex treatment
every single night because I love you just the way
you are. I mean, I had no idea I could
be attracted to a guy who also looked like the
owner of the Bunny Wrench until I saw you. Guy.
You literally look like a checkered flag from a muscle garage,
(07:59):
and I think it that is absolutely gorgeous. You're also
the only man on planet Earth who cannot only pull
off wearing white sunglasses, but you can pull off wearing
them on the back of your head. You really look
like a car from pit My Ride come to life.
I also love your family. I love your beautiful long
(08:19):
marriage with your wife. I love that you named your
kids Hunter and Writer. And one day, should you ever
potentially divorce your wife, which I don't want to have
happened to you, but I would get pregnant with your
third child and we can name him Gunner and they
can ride around in your red Camaro until you retire
into sunset. And I just love you so much. Guy.
I love the joy you bring. I love the gifts
(08:41):
you give. I love that you think you're funny too.
I love that you wore the outfit you were in
your super Bowl commercial to the Super Bowl and for that,
my friend, you are a real king. Thank you Oh
my god. Oh look, I don't want to rank any
(09:02):
of my incredible guests, but that might be my favorite letter. Yeah. Wow,
that was so passionate, Greta. Thank you. He fox you
know what I mean? He really he fox everything he
he could. He is just the king. I think that's clear.
I'm gonna have to agree with you because he there's
(09:22):
a spark to him. There's something's really ablaze inside him,
a passion for life. Yeah. I mean, I'm Guy Fieri
and this is diners, drive ins, and dives. He has
done like forty seasons and also he has Guys Grocery Games.
He has a million television shows. He's also a humanitarian, okay,
he raised millions of dollars for restaurant workers during the
(09:45):
beginning of COVID. He's also done so much to help.
He fed the fireman when all of the wildfires were
happening in Santa Rosa where he lives, which I will
move there for you, my love. Wow, you are a
true fan. I did not know he in Santa Rosa,
but yeah, I love that he just comes through for everyone,
(10:05):
so unsuspecting Lee and it feels like he doesn't want
any credit and like it is crazy that he was
the butt of I feel like he was like a
cultural joke for a long time and he just stayed
the course and was like, no, I'm actually awesome. I
live a great life. I'm happy, I'm happily married, and
I help people and I eat and I'm happy. He's
(10:27):
someone that I think everybody wanted to have the jokes
sour and that he's just been like a consummate good
guy is what I love about him. I pray to
God nothing bad comes out about him, right, I don't think.
I don't think it will. I think that like if
that were to happen, it would have already happened. But
(10:48):
he just seems like a really fucking good dude, and
like I love his zaney little ass when he cooks
up his little creations in the kitchen. Yeah. I he
truly is a great example of just turn the other
cheek and like stay winning and getting paid. And also
you know when people say no, you're lane, like he
(11:10):
is really the guy that's like, no, your lane. You know.
He he was not trying to win a Michelin star.
He was not trying to like break them old. He's like,
where will my restaurants perform well Las Vegas. Yes, and
he was like, yeah, it is only my lane. No
(11:30):
one else is in my lane, and I'm not going
to try to be in anyone else's lane. No. And
like you know, he wears so much jewelry, like yes,
his his little like skull chrome hearts. Yeah, you think
one's falling off in a friar. No one could fall
off the side of me, honey. Okay, Greta, Greta, Greta,
(11:55):
let's get to the Barbara Walters portion. Please, Well, we
we will, we will, we should, we WILLI uh yeah, Okay.
So Greta my dear friend that I met in the
Big Apple, as they say, when we had both just
started comedy as two young, beautiful blonde girls just looking
(12:19):
to break into the comedian landscape. Absolutely who's kept on
asking why why would you want to make your lives worse?
Why to be in dusty basements around Mildew. Why would
(12:39):
you want to drink old two dollar chardonnay in a
windowless room? Um? Yes, you know we shared a lot.
We moved across the country together. Um, we had you know,
ex boyfriends together, a lot of fun times. That's who
she is to me audience, if you're you know, caught up. Now, okay,
(13:02):
let's get into it. According to Lucian Wiggles, guy Fieri
is quoted as saying, holy Moly, strumbolly and peace, love
and taco grease and you know what, it might just
be a mound of oil log Pielsbury crescent dough, but
it's bomb dot com tasty, amigo. Would you say, is
(13:28):
guys extremely specific spin on the English way of speaking
that gets your engines running and makes you hot under
the collar. Absolutely, As I started my letter with his whimsy,
I mean one could say he is a modern Shakespeare
with the use of you know, he wats this poetic
about his dishes and the most gorgeous inventive ways. And
(13:53):
I think that his use of language is something masterful
and not to be ignored. Right, Yeah, I don't know
if people are really recognizing how powerful he is sort
of with his own uh again and his own lane
in the English language and what I just read, I
was like, Wow, that sounds kind of trocery. You know,
(14:14):
he's also like a master marketer, like he has figured
out how to market himself and part of his marketing
are the insane descriptions for his food. Right. Oh, it's incredible.
He's also the only again, the only one that can
do it singular. If anybody else tries to describe their
food that way, I'm like disgusting gross him. I'm like
(14:36):
getting into my getting in all my holes. Oil log
peels very crescent dough is just a beautiful picture. You know.
It feels like it will do the same thing inside
of you as outside of you. Yeah, I'd like to
toss some of the down the goal it right now
sounds great, Greta. I think Lucien got some sort of
(15:03):
warrant and broke into your house extremely legally and discovered
a copy of New York Times food critic Pete Wells
review of Guy Fieri's New York City restaurant. It's widely
regarded as both the most scathing and also the most
widely read restaurant review ever. And I do have to ask,
(15:24):
why do you have that on your wall with die
Pete Wells painted and red all over it. Well, first
of all, I think that Pete needs to actually be
thinking guy. That guy even opened set establishment and let
Pete flex his creative writing muscles. Okay, that's a take.
Hot tag baby because honestly, oh, Pete, you hated Guy's
(15:48):
restaurants so much, Guess what it made you relevant? Guess
what it made people who didn't care about your stupid,
pretentious food reviews read your food review. It made people think, oh,
maybe Pete Wells is more than just some stuck up
little ship that only wants to eat at restaurants like
Dan Yell and La Berna Dat. Okay, So maybe what
(16:11):
Pete needs to be thinking is did Guy Fiery actually
make me human? Did Guy actually make me seem real?
And that's essential as fuck, That's one thing. And you
know the reason why. I just like to reflect on
that because you know, Blair, you and I we were creatives.
(16:32):
One could say we are chefs of ideas, you know,
And I think that I love to look at that
peace and say that didn't stop my almighty king from
his strong, strong reign in the world of food and
the world of entertainment at large. So nothing should stop me,
(16:54):
nothing should ever get in my way. So in many ways,
that's kind of a reminder that I like to see.
It's a visual reminder that I like to see every day,
you know, to start my day, to say nothing. No
matter if I'm someone explodes my ass, really roast my
ass in the New York Times, nothing is going to
stop me from getting a vineyard, from collecting classic cars,
(17:17):
from living a happy, gorgeous life with my husband and
our future children, that future of children, you know. And
I just think it's really important that we focus up
like Guy does and not let people that clearly don't
see our vision but still capitalize on it get in
(17:38):
our way. Oh my god, god, that was profound. So
you know, I know a lot of you think, oh,
this is Blair's little comedy podcast, but then we have
moments like that, we're just deep spiritual, existential truth or revealed.
So yes, lusion did wonder pose the question did Greta?
(17:59):
He did ask me, did Greta write that die Pete
wells in Blood on the fram d review? And I said,
I don't know. I know she's a passionate woman, but
what you just said is so true. Guy said, I'm
not gonna let that fucking nerd, that dweeb Pete and
(18:19):
you know my parade. He also said, I don't need
New York. You know how many people say that? He said,
you know what, I don't need New York. I can
do whatever I need to do without New York, where
all that everyone is so small minded and obsessed with
New York, New York, New York, New York, New York.
You gotta If he can't make it in New York,
you can't make it anywhere. And guess what, he didn't
(18:40):
make it in New York, and he made it everywhere else.
And he made it everywhere else. Can Mike drop guy
Fieri the Italian steamroller? That? Yeah, that's just so incredible.
I also what when listening to that deep prophecy that
you just spilled, I also had the thought that, you know,
(19:03):
anyone really pretentious is just like a little angry dork inside,
so like you can't find I mean, look, I do
think that Pete Wells that review is written very like
tongue in cheek. I think he fully knew. First of all,
he knew what he was doing by going and reviewing
(19:25):
Guy Fieri's like Flavor Town restaurant in Times Square, you know,
to be the comedy equivalent of punching down. Yeah. Yeah,
it's like the comedy equivalent of punching down. So for me,
I'm kind of just like, Okay, Pete, like cool, you
went to a restaurant that you knew was like a spectacle,
(19:46):
and you know that people aren't actually going there to
eat the food, but mostly to take part in the
theater of guy Fiery. It's like grow up. He also
did the same thing with that restaurant Ninja in New York,
which is a crazy experience where people pop out at
you while you eat. Again, no one's going there to
(20:06):
eat a life changing meal. People are going there because
it's like Disneyland. Yeah, and you know, the theater of
it is no less valuable just because it's different. This man. Yeah,
and like you know a restaurant that at one point
he loved, which was um oh that steak, that steak
(20:27):
place in Brooklyn, Oh, Peter Luger, Peter Luger, which honestly
like ight there on my twenty first birthday. Never felt
the urge to go back because I didn't like the
theater of it. I didn't like the bright lights, I
didn't like the grumpy waiters. I didn't like the lack
of music. I didn't think it was cute, I didn't
think it was fun, and frankly, I didn't think the
(20:48):
food was good enough. To warrant the attitudes. So for me,
I'd rather go into Guy Fieri's like playland and have
the food be whatever than the other way around. Yeah.
And also a little like truth secret that Pete Wells
cannot deny is that bar food is good. It's it's
(21:12):
completely different. It's not even in the same category as
the other stuff. Guys, trash can nacho? Are you fucking
kidding me? Did you go to the restaurant? Because I
never went, and I never went to the restaurant in
New York And by the time I really like, I've
always loved guy, but it wasn't until I hit my
(21:32):
mid twenties where I really started to appreciate him. Right,
he's actually just such a free thinker, you know, looking
back on his entire journey in hindsight, Yeah, he's the
fucking best, all right. According to Lucian Wiggles, Guy Fierry
(21:58):
owns a vineyard old hunting rock ride Yeah, which, I'll
be honest, sounds dangerous, sinister and sex filled. What would
the name of your vineyard be if you bought one tomorrow? Well,
I do want Lucien to know that I have a
magnum of hunt and ride caber Day signed by Guy
(22:19):
Fiery in my pantry right now. Follow up question. I
know you only drink natural wine, and I know Guy
Fiery does not drink naturally making sentence for you a
glass of his dinner wine. What do you drink it down? Yes?
Or no? Suck the whole thing down and ask for more.
(22:40):
I really would. I'd ask for more until I got
so black out that I probably would offer to like
suck his dick and his like convertible. Um, what would
exclusive Wilson exclusive? Why I name my vineyard? Am I
(23:01):
owning it with guy? Or is it just mine? I
think it was just yours? But you know you could
own it with Guy like oh that what could be
an incredible collaboration. Hmm. What would I name my wine?
Probably just like delectable, delectable, delectable wine. But if I
(23:25):
wanted like a country vineyard name, probably like like mm hmm,
this is hard, It's okay, you know, we're just freeballing,
probably like Flora May Vineyards. WHOA I love Flora May
(23:46):
Vineyards family names, you know, from the family. I could
see us going there and we're in like dressed in
like all pucci and having on a Verandah drinking Flora, Ma,
let's go to let's go. Yes, I've never been. Let's go.
(24:07):
I've been once with my ex boyfriend, but we should go.
I'll be your I'll be your boyfriend. And it's really
it's really nice, it's really beautiful. I mean, like, I'm
not very into wine tasting culture because I get so
drunk after like one tasting same same, So I need
to figure out how to how to balance all that, right, Yeah,
(24:31):
and we we usually do a bag of mushrooms. Yeah,
if you get me, we like legally have to do mushrooms.
And then if you get me shrooming wasted on like
at multiple tastings at vineyards, we need to call out
sick for the next week. Yeah yeah, No, I mean
I think we'd have to budget a sick time after,
(24:51):
but no, I think that could be fun sometime. Okay, good.
I love that, Flora may Or. Although I would never
deign to define someone by their partner, Guy Fiery has
been married to his wife Lorie for twenty six years.
(25:12):
Would you say it's because Guy takes her on a
road rock and trip to Flavortown with a gravitational force
of bacon warps the laws of space and time metaphorically.
And if no, what do you think are the top
reasons their love has lasted? Well? I think that's absolutely
a huge reason why their love has lasted. I think
(25:34):
that he literally, like flavor blasts her life in all
of the right ways. I think that first of all,
I think they fuck right regularly. Do you think he
brings her hall openion poppers in bed, because that's my dream.
I think that he will bring her anything she wants.
(25:54):
I think if she wants to have fun, little boneless
wing in like a taryaki glaze, He's got a real
big daddy masculine take care of his wife, Vive. I
think if she's craving a macaroni and cheeseball, I'll get
that right up. Can you imagine? I think that she's
craving just like chopped salad. He'll whip that up. It
(26:18):
sounds really good. I really think he like lays it
the fun down for her. Oh so you think that
Guy Ferri has got a hammer on him. Yeah, yeah, absolutely,
Guy Fiery has a hog. Yeah he's got a hog.
You don't look like that and not have a fucking hog.
(26:41):
He's giving you the confidence every day babe. It would
explain like his sort of deep grounded, steadfast nature despite
any hatred being rolled at him by Wells and the culture.
He's like a dick. He's off him. He's not worried,
and it's like there's something going on. Yeah he's like
(27:06):
I'm fine. Yeah, He's like, relax everyone, I'm doing great,
so below they say. I Also I also just think
about like, I don't know, I think that he's like
a really committed person. He doesn't seem like someone that's
I think he takes his like business really seriously, and
(27:28):
I don't think he's one of these people that wants
to be out here like fucking around and jeopardizing that right.
He Also, it's just so funny because he's associated with
sort of low brow miss but I think he really
operates with a high level of grace. Yeah. I also
think he's a family guy. Like I think he's a
(27:50):
real family man, and I think he like loves his
family so much and would do anything for them. I mean,
his eldest son, writer is or Hunter. I think it's Writer,
you know, it's Hunter is his eldest these people, while
his eldest like is Basically he's being groomed to like
(28:12):
take over Guy Fiery Enterprises because he's in episodes of
He's in episodes of Triple D. He's in He's with
his dad constantly. When when Guy was cooking from home,
he was helping him the whole entire time, Like and
you know, he's just like Papa. He has his ears pierced.
(28:33):
He's wearing cookie little shirts that I think have to
be Yeah, like he's I would love if they're custom
making their flame shirts. I mean they have to be.
That's incredible to think about. I feel like, I feel
like they must. I would love that because like I
would love to have someone custom making my own clothes.
But to think of Guy's bowling shirts just being custom made,
(28:58):
that's incredible. Custom jobs. You know that, um Tim Robinson
shirts sketch I think so. Yeah, it's like that. It's
like jazzy crazy shirts, jazzy crazy shirts. Yeah. I love Guy.
I know he's like they don't make him like him,
you know what I mean. It's like everyone thinks that
(29:21):
you need to become some like played out Dick Quad
when you get rich and famous, and guess what, you
don't you can be like we have to write a
note to remember that for when we're so be more
like Guy. The next time I get into a fight
with someone, I'm gonna say, hey, buddy, why don't you
be more like guy. I'm really looking for a family
man that same way, like I want someone who really
(29:44):
who really values family and would also bring me whip
me up a mac and cheese ball. Would you say
yes to a date with a young guy fiery? Um?
You know, I don't know. I'm not sure if my
spiritual self would come into play to recognize what was there.
I can't say that I feel magnetically pulled towards a
(30:07):
bleached spiked hair man at this age in my life.
But be aesthetic. You don't know if you can handle
the aesthetic, but what's underneath you would want? You want
the guy spirit in a different vessel, yeah, or you know,
like I wouldn't even say I'm like a very looks
focused person. I don't even think I am. I just
(30:27):
pray to recognize the person, to be able to recognize
what's there that I need to recognize. So then maybe
you would go on a date with someone that looked
like guy. I can't. I don't know if I would
be able to have the capacity aware you would go
on a date with young guy, you wouldn't really like
(30:52):
it me not me, not trying to be a funny
crazy gal. I don't No, I don't know, because honestly,
like younger me, I loved like weirdo looking do oh
you liked a hard look? I think for me because
I grew up. I didn't grow up in like an
(31:12):
artsy place in any way shape or form even near
like a big city. And so my natural just attraction
to men cellularly is like a very masculine man. So
I don't remember. I'm not really ever attracted to a
man with a hard look like a cellularly attracted to
like muscles, but not in a way that's like jacked,
(31:34):
but like washboard, lean cut athletic. I hate that contrap
their own wood is like nothing, not like they're in
the gym every second, you know. No, not not like
a GTL person like, because that's too much vanity. It
has to be something like understated. Like it's rooted in sports,
(31:56):
right right, right right, The besique is ground it in sports,
where I've always been attracted to like I mean, actually,
I will go on a date with young guy. Because
a guy that I dated is an incredible chef who's
like neck down fully covered in tattoos, wore metal shirts
(32:16):
all the time. Like not, how long did you date for?
How long did I date? Um? God, I was like
in love with him? Really how I was probably like
twenty three or twenty four. I do like thinking about
(32:38):
the guys that you dated in New York. I know, well,
you know what, I've always had a soft spot for
guys that work in hospitality. I was just going to
say that, but I wanted you to say it first. Yeah,
I've always been a sucker for a bartender. Walking downtown,
You'd be like, oh, I dated that guy. I made
(33:00):
out with that guy we'd passed like a bar restaurant. Yeah, yeah,
I was like a real I was a bar slut.
I liked it though. It sounds like you really lived.
I just like any I just am attracted to anyone
that can make me something delicious and like use their hands, right.
I totally get what you're saying. That's a very attractive thing.
(33:22):
And it's also there like caring for you and it's
like artistry. It's really it's really beautiful and to the
chef that I dated. Actually I went, we went. We
didn't go to the same high school, but we grew
up together in d C. And Um, I always thought
he was like so cute and kind of mysterious in
(33:45):
high school because he was the kid that was like
making like Demi glazes and like making crazy we have
insane like he and his friends would get stoned and
then he'd cooked them like wild ass food. You know,
that kind of rubbed off on you. Like I'll never
forget that one time we were in Toby Hannah and
you made that rose pedal pie that you like seven hours.
(34:11):
It was like the most insane thing I've ever seen. Yeah,
that was like the most intricate shit. It was crazy.
I love baking really wow. But Yeah, anyway, this guy,
like we dated on and not we dated for like
a little bit, but he was living in California when
I was living in New York and unfortunately, just like
(34:33):
didn't really work out for that reason. Um, and he
did go on to win a Michlin Star and yes,
and now he has a really really really cool restaurant
in d C and has a kid. Congratulated him on
having a kid. Oh that's nice. That's very gracious of you.
Thank you. I'm a gracious lover. You are I think
(34:55):
you are, and you know you are married and doing
very well too. I'm sure he was thrilled to get
a congrats from you. You know, we follow each other
in insta. I saw the baby, I said, is this yours?
Question mark? And he said it is and then told
me the name, and I said Mozzle even though he's
(35:17):
not Jewish, but you know, the sentiment is what matters.
I love. I mean, I'm as like you know, no
one thinks I'm Jewish, but I feel so thrilled when
any of my Jewish friends say Mozl to me. You know,
it's very and we You gotta thank Andy Cohen at
the end of the day for making Mozzl mainstream. Oh god,
(35:39):
this is fun. Greta Lucian has been working over time
and uh discovered you were quoted as saying, remember there
was more than one way to eat a risis, how
about more than my ass I And sometimes the ocean
(36:01):
reminds me of a big latte splashing his milky foam
on mother slips sand. Life is beautiful, which feels spiritually
similar to Guy Ferry Ethos it's been such an honor
to have you here. Would you please take this time
to give our studio audience your own best Guy Fiery
selling his Guy Italian nachos and mac Daddy Mac and
(36:22):
cheese cock starts now, my Guy Fiery and Lasagna nachos.
Start with one layer of crisp pasta, followed by some
assids kicking brown beef lariner, spicy tomato sauce. The up
high with three kinds of cheddar. That's right, spicy, mild,
and extra sharp. Then you know we've gotta touple that
(36:43):
with some pickled lapenos striped from my farm to yours.
That's right, farm to table, Guy Fiery. After that, we're
gonna take another layer of lasagna, pile that high with
even more meat and cheese. Oh and then if you
didn't think that was enough, we have my macaroni super
Sauce sliders. Have you ever had macaroni balls in between
two chip bottle rolls? Will remind you I am Italian
(37:06):
and by macaroni balls, they're made of mozzarella and of course,
and there's a marscapone finished with a beautiful panko crust
on top of that ball that we sandwiched between again
rolls of cheer bottom with of course my donkey sauce
in garlic a really masterfuck just Guy Fiery better than
(37:30):
Guy Fiery and here with a kicker. It's all served
on a license plate. Whoa, whoa. That was incredible. That
was talent. They should bring you on SNL to do
(37:51):
Guy Fiery, like um, I would bring Melissa McCarthy on
to do Sean Hannity. Yeah SNLF of listening, I will
come on to do Guy Fieri. And that's it. God,
I am sweating. I just laughed so hard. That was
incredible laugh. She loves to make me laugh, and boy
(38:13):
is she doing well. We're gonna have to cut that
clip and broadcast out wide. Guy Farrell loses motherfucking mind
and literally like responds comments even likes I will maybe
I'll retire. I think we couldn't make that happen easily
(38:34):
like I do. Think we just set that for you
into the universe and that that's like something that could
easily happen. I also did love Um you did add
a little bit of an Italian um flair that I
don't remember being there. Um some great pronunciation. Thank you.
Did you watch House of Gucci. I have not watched.
(38:56):
I have not watched it yet. I do need to watch.
I've heard it's fun. You know. I watched Ship because
I am forbid or worse a Gaga super fan. Um
so Gaga, some might say, is the guy theory of
pop music? Yes, I'm gonna leave you with that. I'm
gonna put that in your pipe for you to smoke.
(39:17):
It's like, look, I just felt a wave crash over
me of truth, but also I wasn't sure if I
wanted another part of me to agree and grand hold
of that. You can just think about it. Just oh,
(39:40):
will I be chewing on that? What's getting hot here? Okay?
Guy once said, I don't know if it's fair to
call their Russian dressing Russian dressing. I think again a
master marketer, that it should be called something sexy like
liquid Moscow. Do you think that this is um a
(40:05):
good idea considering what's going on right now? Would you
say that calling it liquid Moscow means that m Guy
ferries pro war or I think that Guy Faery said
that at a very different geopolitical time, and I think
that given what is going on in the world, I
am going to um not be commenting. I'm gracefully going
(40:28):
to pass on this question. You know, God, you have
great presence of mind, because sometimes Lucian writes these questions
that I frankly am not behind. It's almost sort of
like he's trying to have gotcha journalism, kind of kind
of prank, you know. Yeah, And I say, Lucian, you
just needed to chill out, but you seem so chill
when you're just sitting in your chair at the current
(40:49):
river having a mountain dew. And then sometimes he comes
out with these questions where I'm like, come on, these
people are really important to me. Stops trying to catch them. Yeah,
he really. Sometimes he does like to like you got
got vibes, but which is crazy because it's so the
opposite of who I am. I know, You're not like
that at all. It is it is crazy. I mean again,
(41:10):
this is why I think that I would love someone
on one time with Lucien into kind of like hang
and just be like what's up? Yeah? I know. Look,
I'm always trying to weasel my way into his schedule
and he sure does not make time for me. But
although I do give him a lot of work, so
he's really busy. Yeah he is, well alright. Guy likes
(41:38):
to collect classic American cars, as you already know because
you know everything about him, including a nineteen seventy one
Chevrolet Chevel, nineteen sixty eight Pontiac Firebird, and a nineteen
seventy six Jeep C J five and nineteen sixty nine
Chevrolet and Paula SS, which also means absolutely nothing to
(42:00):
um person who has only seen four cars in her life.
If you were hitchhiking and Guy picked you up in
one of these classic cars, Uh, what three questions would
you ask him? And keep in mind you can only
ask him these three questions and then are not allowed
to speak for the rest of the car ride. Really, Yeah,
(42:26):
what's your fantasy? That's a good one. That's a really
good question. What is your drive, what's your driving force?
And what is the soundtrack to your life? Wow? You
(42:51):
know I can see that those questions so incredible would
take up probably the whole car ride. Wow. Yeah, I
know he I would be dying to know what he'd
have to stay about that. I feel like we could
probably guess soundtracks to his life. Like, I feel like
there's definitely like I feel like he's really like Depeche
Mode def Leopard, like White Snake. I feel like that's
(43:14):
really sure. What's going on? Sammy Hagar, Sammy Hagar. Wow,
there's yard work happening next to me because someone is
trying to silence my voice about how much I love
Guy Fierry. Can you hear this? Yeah, I can imagine.
Probably Pete well sent that over. No, I can't hear anything,
(43:37):
so your golden no silencing happening here. This is making
it to the air wars and messes, dream on Pete
toward it again, pal Um, Alright, apparently Guy wakes up
every morning thinking about food. How often do you think
about food? And please be a truthful Gretta. We have
(43:58):
experts here who are listening in and they will determine
if you're lying. If they determine you are lying, you
could be not by my will immediately objected from the show.
I wake up every single morning and I think about food.
That feels like deep truth to me. It is honestly like,
(44:18):
I sorry to overshare. I need to have a gorgeous
bowel movement every morning before I eat. So you wait,
so I wait, But like in the window that I wait,
I just dream I'm like, what's it going to be today?
You're making plans. I'm making plans. I make myself my
(44:41):
breakfast ritual and it's only started since moving to l A.
Because I know what you eat for breakfast. I just
like I have whole ritual. You have eggs, a um,
side of avocado, and a piece of glue frue toes. Yes,
I oh my god, well there read me to sell um.
(45:03):
That sounds advertising some of the drinks that you drink,
but a lot of other people I know drink them too,
And I can't. Like you drink macha, which is just
crazy to me, and like, oh don't you drink like
oh milk lattes and ship No, I can't. I can't
have latches. It's too much milk, like a nasty. I know.
(45:25):
My my drinks are when I make my macha and
even when I order it out. I asked for it
to be mostly made with water and a little bit
of almonds or oat milk, and then I drink cold
brew with a little bit of almond or oat depending
on my mood. Guy fiery sanctioned, um, what the fuck
(45:48):
is up with macha? Like? Because you know I like
I like antioxidants. I like that sort of thing. I
like these like Miracle health lixers, and so in my
head I think, yeah, I'm gonna love macha. I'll drink
some gnarly green ship. And then I tasted it and
I was like, this is asked, where did you try it?
(46:10):
I don't know. I've tried it multiple times. Ok. Too.
You know how I feel about oat milk. Oh, milk
is not my favor. I hate that. I like almond milk.
I know how bad it is for the environment. I
didn't know that almond milk. It's bad environment because of
the water. Water. Yeah, that makes sense. Avocados tocados takes
(46:31):
so much water and they take nine months to fully
ripen like a damn baby. Yes, my dad he has
a many avocado father's tak Yeah, I call them ravocados.
I want a robocado. I'll bring you on. I bet
they're delicious. Problem, Yeah, I I think the problem with
(46:52):
macha is a lot of people. Most people actually don't
know how to make it properly, because like there is
a ceremonial aspect to making macha. Isn't it like an
ancient thing? Like isn't it what? What is it? It's
like a spiritual thing, right, Um, I don't fully know
(47:15):
if it's spiritual, but I know that there's like a
traditional tea service. Okay, it's like a ritual thing. It's
a ritual there's a specific way that you need to
make it. You know. It goes back to the Tang
dynasty in China. Okay, I just want to know the
truth here. Just tell me honestly. Did you have to
(47:36):
acquire a taste for it or did you like it?
Minute one? Because I love a dirty martini, but it
took me a while to acquire martini taste for martinis,
like because when I tried Macha, I was like, no
one actually likes this ship. Okay. I really like green tea. Okay,
(47:56):
so I think that I like went into it liking
the kind of bitterness that comes with like a green tea.
And I also like the caffeine ride. It takes you on.
What is the caffeine It's super like grab It's like mushrooms.
It's like super gradual and nice, and you don't have
(48:19):
it doesn't like fully drain your adrenals like coffee. You know,
I drink coffee. I get fucked up on coffee. Every day. Yeah,
I I take my adrenals for the a gnarly up
and down roller coaster ride. Yeah, I take like adrenal
support supplements because I am fully like you know, I
(48:41):
want to get sucked and fucked by my coffee every day,
and like I have to put real limits on myself.
Sometimes I create nasty habits where I'll like I'll have one.
I mean I drink when I'm being really bad. Some
days I can drink forty eight ounces of cold brow.
(49:02):
Really I never knew that about you. That's I mean,
that's what I'm being. Like you have to go through
a crazy That's what I'm being like nasty, like really crazy,
Like you know you're grow liquid enema. Yeah. Like on
good days, I just have one large one and that's
(49:22):
me and I'll drink it between um, like eight and
nine am. Yeah. But like today it's a little crazy.
I will have had when the day is done, I
will have had thirty six ounces of cold. Yeah. Well
(49:46):
you you're exerting a lot of brain energy today. You
have a big day. Um. But I always you know,
we've talked about this today because like you know, these
actors is like Lucy Lou and um, Jennifer Lopez. They
say that they don't have of caffeine, which I cannot
fathom because what their schedules are, like our schedules are
already insane, and like I'll find myself like I cannot
(50:09):
go do the show. I cannot do this audition unless
I get caffeine. I'm so brain dead tired. I don't
know how they're flying back and forth, like from China
to California to all this stuff without having any caffeine.
But I know it's so good for your skin, like
their skin looks like babies, you know, for me, And
I think this is why I also love guys so much,
(50:32):
like I'm here to live, like I'm on this earth
to enjoy the pleasures of life, and you, Blair, are
very you really also reinforce that too, like really, thank you,
that's so nice of you to say, well, I want
to enjoy my life on this earth, and like this
life is so short. I want to enjoy the pleasure
(50:53):
of having as much goddamn coffee as I please, because
I love I love coffee. Coffee is a love of
my life, like I love matcha too, but like coffee
for me after or before breakfast, like coffee is what
(51:14):
I wake up salvating for like a like a dog
seeing raw meat. I'm like coffee coffee, yes, okay, well
does it? Does a drink coffee for the listeners, A
is um Gretta's beloved husband. Yes, and yes he does
drink coffee. He drinks a black that's gnarly. I try
to do that sometimes, just doesn't hit the same. But
(51:37):
he's not, like, he's not as crazy as I am.
It's not a taste connection for him. It's more like
just a function, right Yeah. For him, it's like I
want to get I want the caffeine. Hip. For me,
I'm like, it's the flavor. Like I even will funk
around sometimes and just get like dec half Americano because
I just want the flavor. Right. Oh that's wild. That's
(51:58):
some crazy ship. And that's why of my teeth look
like fucking corn colonels. What you are so crazy? They
do not. Always has been saying this, and they do
not just gorgeous teeth, okay, corn nibbles. They are not.
You're so nuts, They're not even close beautiful teeth. Um. Okay,
(52:18):
last question, because I have kept you so long before
we have one more segment. But did you know that
guy Fiery hates eggs? Lucien found this out Somehow do
you feel comfortable continuing to consume your daily eggs knowing
this fact? Does? I mean you're not really a real guy,
fiery fan, I had no idea that guy doesn't like eggs. Yeah,
(52:42):
you never would know that. It's crazy a Lucien God
does these deep dishes. Must have done some hardcore digging. No,
I mean he's special ops like I Honestly, he tells
me that I'm not always allowed to know how he
gets the information. He says, it's best if you don't know,
(53:03):
because it does sometimes get dark, like I don't know,
I'm not really sure how he knows that guy doesn't
like eggs. Well, here's the thing. I know that guy
would support me in eating my eggs, even if he
himself did not want to eat eggs with me, because
he's a chill dude. Yeah, and that's and that's all
(53:24):
that I care about. That's all that matters really is
being a chill dude in life. But it is weird
because I do picture him eating the Scotch egg or
I a Scotch egg or even like a benedict, like
a benedict, or like sauce like dumped on his head,
or like a burger with a fried egg on it,
(53:45):
or something that sounds so good, or like a croc
monsieur or damn, whichever one has the eggs. But he
would rename it if he's making that ship. Oh yeah,
and he would rename it like something fucking crazy. Oh
my god, this has been so funny. I cannot believe
(54:05):
that the cruel fate of the world that we even
have to end this episode. But I do have to
ask you. We do have a fun segment called Fan
on the Street, which will eventually be listeners calling in
with their celebrity encounter stories. But until then, since we're
in our first couple of episodes, I'd love to hear
(54:25):
if you have a fun celebrity uh found on the
streets story of your own that you'd be willing to
share with our listeners. I mean I have, I I
have like I know you have many, you have one thousand.
(54:50):
I have a really cute one. Oh please, we love
cute here. Okay. When I was in the fourth grade,
I was obviously obsessed with Hollywood and I wanted to
be a movie star, and my favorite thing was to
watch Nick at night. And I loved I love Lucy,
I loved Happy Days. I loved all of it, and
of course I loved the Fonds a k a. Henry Winkler.
(55:14):
So he had to write a little paper when we
were in like the fourth grade about someone we admired,
and I decided to write my paper about Henry Winkler. Hilarious.
Cut too. Like a week after we get this assignment,
I'm in New York with my parents. We are at
the hotel they would stay in in New York. And
who am I writing the elevator with Henry Winkler. That's manifestation.
(55:40):
So my mom said to me, excuse me, Mr Winkler,
my daughter would love to meet you. She's writing a
paper about you. And I'm like nine years old, you
know what I mean. And he's and he's probably he
did say to me. He was like, you're writing a
paper about me, and I was like, I him, And
(56:00):
then he said, if you have any questions, I'm going
to give you the number to my office. Feel free
to call me whenever you want. That is the sweetest,
most charming thing you've I've ever heard in my life,
and he gave me his fucking number for me to
call him and ask him any questions about that is
(56:21):
so sweet. Did you ever call? I didn't, but for
the longest I think it's classy that you didn't call.
But still for the longest time, I just had Henry
Winkler's number in my phone. WHOA. And I've heard that
he is like the best best person. Like I've heard
he's a wonderful, wonderful man, had so nice that you
(56:42):
feel that from him, and like I would think that
he's like that. But that's just so beautiful. Also a
reminder because even like at our level, you get so
many people like messaging you asking for things, yeah, and
it's like it gets overwhelming. So to think of someone
who like that, who was just like was his number
(57:04):
to a little girl. This was at a time though,
when like there was so much space between yeah, that
people didn't have constant access to you, right, Um, But
years years years years years later, okay, literally twenty years later,
I'm at my friend's birthday party and his son was
(57:24):
there and I tell his son this story and he
loved the story, and I was so happy to hear.
It is so sweet. Oh my god, that's the sweetest
thing in the world. I'm so glad that you participated
in the fan on the Streets segment. So a great story. Well, Greta,
how fun was this fun? The most guests, most times guests?
(57:51):
I can I don't know how that's called. What you
that title would be called in proper language. V I
p guest, best guest of all time, guests of all
time has been on the show the most of anyone else.
And are we for what a big gift for us?
And I think that guy Arry is going to find
out because that run you had was incredible and I
(58:14):
think it will stick with everyone forever. I hope God
willing love you, Greta, Love you Blair. Bye bye, bye
bye
Hello, everyone, it's your boy Blair. I'm back so excited.
Oh my gosh, this episode it's so good. It's one
of my favorites, featuring one of my best friends, Greta Titleman.
You know her from Lois's Spooky's on HBO, from Search
Party on HBO, and you know her as one of
(00:20):
my best friends and from when we used to host
the Blair and Greta Show together for a couple of
years in l A before the city was ravaged by
COVID and we stopped. Anyways, we're still very close and
this episode was just a barn burner. Oh my gosh.
Make sure you follow Greta on Instagram and Twitter at
(00:44):
Gertie Bird g E r T I E b I
r D. She has an awesome podcast called Senior Superlatives.
I was a guest on. I think you'll love it.
And as for me, what I want you to know
about is I have a show on the night. This
comes out Monday, June six in Los Angeles. Greta will
(01:07):
coincidentally Beyond the show with me at the Allegian Theater.
I'm gonna be doing an hour and it would mean
so much to me if you guys came out. I'm
also going to be with Ron Functions June ninth, roughly
eleven at the DC Improv so come out to that.
And guys, if you could please take a second to
(01:27):
write a review for this podcast, the Dear Owen Wilson Podcast,
I would appreciate it so much. I need more reviews.
I don't have very many reviews. I know this thing
just launched, but where my guys at, where my girls at?
A little review takes no time and it's for free,
and I want to keep this thing going for you
(01:48):
guys because I'm having so much fun doing it, like
all my bodies getting to the bottom of the fandom.
So yeah, support us, rate, subscribe, review, tell your friends,
send the episode over all right, I love you so much.
Enjoy this episode. Bye bye, Hello everyone, and welcome back
(02:17):
to another incredible episode of your favorite podcast, Dear Owen
Wilson with your host Blair Saki. It's great to be back.
It's great to have a podcast. Words I never thought
i'd say. And guests, what, guys, I hope you're liking
it so far. I'm having so many of my favorite
buddies on having actually the time of my life, getting
(02:41):
to the bottom of these shoot interviews, and Lucian and
I are back today with no exception of Hollywood's biggest starlet.
Right now, one of my dearest friends of the ages,
the love of my life, please welcome to the show.
Great titleman, everybody, my God, Blair. What a honor and
(03:14):
a blessing it is to be on Dear Owen Wilson.
You know, you're one of the greatest comedians to ever live,
one of the greatest humans to ever live, and now
we are on one of the greatest podcasts to ever exists.
So I thank you, Thank you. Greta. Yeah, it's crazy
to have a podcast because I just thought, you know,
there is a hole in the market and only I
(03:37):
can feel it. You know that's and that actually is true.
And what's crazy, Greta, is I think that you might
be the person who has been on the show the most,
maybe three, this might be four times over the years. Yeah,
I think this is my fourth time. Wow, that's huge,
(03:57):
because yeah, that just shows you I was special you
are to me the show. And of course Lucian Wiggles,
Uh you remember Lucian, I remember Lucian. Love Lucian. Okay,
would love to meet Lucian. Yeah, I hope one day
we might be able to orchestrate that. I'm not sure.
Mysterious man that Lucian. Um, it's you know, when I
(04:20):
try to spend time with him, a lot of times
he ducks me. He doesn't. I really am always pursuing
that friendship really hard, and he tries to keep it
strictly work, which is frustrating. But yeah, it does suck
when you work so closely with someone to never get
that kind of one on one time that you kind
of want to sit down and throw back some back,
some bruise, you know. You know I like to toss
(04:43):
back some have some nice friendship. I know, God, that
sounds nice speaking of we need to do it soon.
I know you don't drink beer, but you drink something
you need to drink. I did not stop drinking, you know,
I have never stopped my alcohol consumption. You've kind of
your you really, I'm really impressed with how you've grown
(05:04):
to like restrain yourself. Oh thanks. Yeah, I didn't drink
in February. Um, that was because I was doing a
lot of meditations and trying to contact spirits and stuff.
But I will have a beer with you, for sure. Definitely,
that's great. I would love that. Okay, well, let's just
freaking get into it. Guys, Greta, are you ready to
(05:26):
read this letter? I am all right. Let's hear a babe. Okay,
the floor is yours? Okay, I mean, I mean should
I'm I like, I'm really about timing myself because I
could really go on and on and on about this
legend that I've written this letter to. So I'm going
to make sure that I keep it like short and
sweet for you. Yeah, I mean, you really don't. There
(05:48):
are no time constraints. You can read as long as
you want, but go ahead cut to an hour from now.
I'm still reading, Okay, dear guy, Notice how I pronounced
your last name Fierni, whereas a lot of your more
pedestrian fancife fieri. And I know the real you. I
(06:09):
know the real you, my Italian Southern Californian slash Nevadan King.
Where to even begin with how I feel about you? God?
Some people think you're just this funny guy, this kind
of fake little cartoon character who the Food Network invented.
But I don't. I see the human you. I see
(06:31):
all of you first starters. I love your whimsy. Before
you were even really a thing, you decided to name
your restaurants Johnny garlics Okay, that is classified as a
California pasta grill. I mean, who knew you could even
grill pasta. I love that you have a sauce named
(06:52):
Donkey Sauce, a title that you know most people would
remotely not want to even touch. A sauce named donkey sauce.
It you love it and you make it appetizing. And
even though I know you named it donkey Sauce because
it kicks ass, which I think is so cute and awesome,
I know you named it donkey Sauce because you love
(07:14):
to eat ass, which is exactly what I want you
to do to me. I love how committed you are
to your look, a truly truly iconic look. And people
use that word iconic too often when they don't mean it,
But with you, I mean it. That frosted tip little
head that I want to so badly kiss and have
(07:35):
crack off in my mouth because I know you've bleached
it so much. I would give you an oliplex treatment
every single night because I love you just the way
you are. I mean, I had no idea I could
be attracted to a guy who also looked like the
owner of the Bunny Wrench until I saw you. Guy.
You literally look like a checkered flag from a muscle garage,
(07:59):
and I think it that is absolutely gorgeous. You're also
the only man on planet Earth who cannot only pull
off wearing white sunglasses, but you can pull off wearing
them on the back of your head. You really look
like a car from pit My Ride come to life.
I also love your family. I love your beautiful long
(08:19):
marriage with your wife. I love that you named your
kids Hunter and Writer. And one day, should you ever
potentially divorce your wife, which I don't want to have
happened to you, but I would get pregnant with your
third child and we can name him Gunner and they
can ride around in your red Camaro until you retire
into sunset. And I just love you so much. Guy.
I love the joy you bring. I love the gifts
(08:41):
you give. I love that you think you're funny too.
I love that you wore the outfit you were in
your super Bowl commercial to the Super Bowl and for that,
my friend, you are a real king. Thank you Oh
my god. Oh look, I don't want to rank any
(09:02):
of my incredible guests, but that might be my favorite letter. Yeah. Wow,
that was so passionate, Greta. Thank you. He fox you
know what I mean? He really he fox everything he
he could. He is just the king. I think that's clear.
I'm gonna have to agree with you because he there's
(09:22):
a spark to him. There's something's really ablaze inside him,
a passion for life. Yeah. I mean, I'm Guy Fieri
and this is diners, drive ins, and dives. He has
done like forty seasons and also he has Guys Grocery Games.
He has a million television shows. He's also a humanitarian, okay,
he raised millions of dollars for restaurant workers during the
(09:45):
beginning of COVID. He's also done so much to help.
He fed the fireman when all of the wildfires were
happening in Santa Rosa where he lives, which I will
move there for you, my love. Wow, you are a
true fan. I did not know he in Santa Rosa,
but yeah, I love that he just comes through for everyone,
(10:05):
so unsuspecting Lee and it feels like he doesn't want
any credit and like it is crazy that he was
the butt of I feel like he was like a
cultural joke for a long time and he just stayed
the course and was like, no, I'm actually awesome. I
live a great life. I'm happy, I'm happily married, and
I help people and I eat and I'm happy. He's
(10:27):
someone that I think everybody wanted to have the jokes
sour and that he's just been like a consummate good
guy is what I love about him. I pray to
God nothing bad comes out about him, right, I don't think.
I don't think it will. I think that like if
that were to happen, it would have already happened. But
(10:48):
he just seems like a really fucking good dude, and
like I love his zaney little ass when he cooks
up his little creations in the kitchen. Yeah. I he
truly is a great example of just turn the other
cheek and like stay winning and getting paid. And also
you know when people say no, you're lane, like he
(11:10):
is really the guy that's like, no, your lane. You know.
He he was not trying to win a Michelin star.
He was not trying to like break them old. He's like,
where will my restaurants perform well Las Vegas. Yes, and
he was like, yeah, it is only my lane. No
(11:30):
one else is in my lane, and I'm not going
to try to be in anyone else's lane. No. And
like you know, he wears so much jewelry, like yes,
his his little like skull chrome hearts. Yeah, you think
one's falling off in a friar. No one could fall
off the side of me, honey. Okay, Greta, Greta, Greta,
(11:55):
let's get to the Barbara Walters portion. Please, Well, we
we will, we will, we should, we WILLI uh yeah, Okay.
So Greta my dear friend that I met in the
Big Apple, as they say, when we had both just
started comedy as two young, beautiful blonde girls just looking
(12:19):
to break into the comedian landscape. Absolutely who's kept on
asking why why would you want to make your lives worse?
Why to be in dusty basements around Mildew. Why would
(12:39):
you want to drink old two dollar chardonnay in a
windowless room? Um? Yes, you know we shared a lot.
We moved across the country together. Um, we had you know,
ex boyfriends together, a lot of fun times. That's who
she is to me audience, if you're you know, caught up. Now, okay,
(13:02):
let's get into it. According to Lucian Wiggles, guy Fieri
is quoted as saying, holy Moly, strumbolly and peace, love
and taco grease and you know what, it might just
be a mound of oil log Pielsbury crescent dough, but
it's bomb dot com tasty, amigo. Would you say, is
(13:28):
guys extremely specific spin on the English way of speaking
that gets your engines running and makes you hot under
the collar. Absolutely, As I started my letter with his whimsy,
I mean one could say he is a modern Shakespeare
with the use of you know, he wats this poetic
about his dishes and the most gorgeous inventive ways. And
(13:53):
I think that his use of language is something masterful
and not to be ignored. Right, Yeah, I don't know
if people are really recognizing how powerful he is sort
of with his own uh again and his own lane
in the English language and what I just read, I
was like, Wow, that sounds kind of trocery. You know,
(14:14):
he's also like a master marketer, like he has figured
out how to market himself and part of his marketing
are the insane descriptions for his food. Right. Oh, it's incredible.
He's also the only again, the only one that can
do it singular. If anybody else tries to describe their
food that way, I'm like disgusting gross him. I'm like
(14:36):
getting into my getting in all my holes. Oil log
peels very crescent dough is just a beautiful picture. You know.
It feels like it will do the same thing inside
of you as outside of you. Yeah, I'd like to
toss some of the down the goal it right now
sounds great, Greta. I think Lucien got some sort of
(15:03):
warrant and broke into your house extremely legally and discovered
a copy of New York Times food critic Pete Wells
review of Guy Fieri's New York City restaurant. It's widely
regarded as both the most scathing and also the most
widely read restaurant review ever. And I do have to ask,
(15:24):
why do you have that on your wall with die
Pete Wells painted and red all over it. Well, first
of all, I think that Pete needs to actually be
thinking guy. That guy even opened set establishment and let
Pete flex his creative writing muscles. Okay, that's a take.
Hot tag baby because honestly, oh, Pete, you hated Guy's
(15:48):
restaurants so much, Guess what it made you relevant? Guess
what it made people who didn't care about your stupid,
pretentious food reviews read your food review. It made people think, oh,
maybe Pete Wells is more than just some stuck up
little ship that only wants to eat at restaurants like
Dan Yell and La Berna Dat. Okay, So maybe what
(16:11):
Pete needs to be thinking is did Guy Fiery actually
make me human? Did Guy actually make me seem real?
And that's essential as fuck, That's one thing. And you
know the reason why. I just like to reflect on
that because you know, Blair, you and I we were creatives.
(16:32):
One could say we are chefs of ideas, you know,
And I think that I love to look at that
peace and say that didn't stop my almighty king from
his strong, strong reign in the world of food and
the world of entertainment at large. So nothing should stop me,
(16:54):
nothing should ever get in my way. So in many ways,
that's kind of a reminder that I like to see.
It's a visual reminder that I like to see every day,
you know, to start my day, to say nothing. No
matter if I'm someone explodes my ass, really roast my
ass in the New York Times, nothing is going to
stop me from getting a vineyard, from collecting classic cars,
(17:17):
from living a happy, gorgeous life with my husband and
our future children, that future of children, you know. And
I just think it's really important that we focus up
like Guy does and not let people that clearly don't
see our vision but still capitalize on it get in
(17:38):
our way. Oh my god, god, that was profound. So
you know, I know a lot of you think, oh,
this is Blair's little comedy podcast, but then we have
moments like that, we're just deep spiritual, existential truth or revealed.
So yes, lusion did wonder pose the question did Greta?
(17:59):
He did ask me, did Greta write that die Pete
wells in Blood on the fram d review? And I said,
I don't know. I know she's a passionate woman, but
what you just said is so true. Guy said, I'm
not gonna let that fucking nerd, that dweeb Pete and
(18:19):
you know my parade. He also said, I don't need
New York. You know how many people say that? He said,
you know what, I don't need New York. I can
do whatever I need to do without New York, where
all that everyone is so small minded and obsessed with
New York, New York, New York, New York, New York.
You gotta If he can't make it in New York,
you can't make it anywhere. And guess what, he didn't
(18:40):
make it in New York, and he made it everywhere else.
And he made it everywhere else. Can Mike drop guy
Fieri the Italian steamroller? That? Yeah, that's just so incredible.
I also what when listening to that deep prophecy that
you just spilled, I also had the thought that, you know,
(19:03):
anyone really pretentious is just like a little angry dork inside,
so like you can't find I mean, look, I do
think that Pete Wells that review is written very like
tongue in cheek. I think he fully knew. First of all,
he knew what he was doing by going and reviewing
(19:25):
Guy Fieri's like Flavor Town restaurant in Times Square, you know,
to be the comedy equivalent of punching down. Yeah. Yeah,
it's like the comedy equivalent of punching down. So for me,
I'm kind of just like, Okay, Pete, like cool, you
went to a restaurant that you knew was like a spectacle,
(19:46):
and you know that people aren't actually going there to
eat the food, but mostly to take part in the
theater of guy Fiery. It's like grow up. He also
did the same thing with that restaurant Ninja in New York,
which is a crazy experience where people pop out at
you while you eat. Again, no one's going there to
(20:06):
eat a life changing meal. People are going there because
it's like Disneyland. Yeah, and you know, the theater of
it is no less valuable just because it's different. This man. Yeah,
and like you know a restaurant that at one point
he loved, which was um oh that steak, that steak
(20:27):
place in Brooklyn, Oh, Peter Luger, Peter Luger, which honestly
like ight there on my twenty first birthday. Never felt
the urge to go back because I didn't like the
theater of it. I didn't like the bright lights, I
didn't like the grumpy waiters. I didn't like the lack
of music. I didn't think it was cute, I didn't
think it was fun, and frankly, I didn't think the
(20:48):
food was good enough. To warrant the attitudes. So for me,
I'd rather go into Guy Fieri's like playland and have
the food be whatever than the other way around. Yeah.
And also a little like truth secret that Pete Wells
cannot deny is that bar food is good. It's it's
(21:12):
completely different. It's not even in the same category as
the other stuff. Guys, trash can nacho? Are you fucking
kidding me? Did you go to the restaurant? Because I
never went, and I never went to the restaurant in
New York And by the time I really like, I've
always loved guy, but it wasn't until I hit my
(21:32):
mid twenties where I really started to appreciate him. Right,
he's actually just such a free thinker, you know, looking
back on his entire journey in hindsight, Yeah, he's the
fucking best, all right. According to Lucian Wiggles, Guy Fierry
(21:58):
owns a vineyard old hunting rock ride Yeah, which, I'll
be honest, sounds dangerous, sinister and sex filled. What would
the name of your vineyard be if you bought one tomorrow? Well,
I do want Lucien to know that I have a
magnum of hunt and ride caber Day signed by Guy
(22:19):
Fiery in my pantry right now. Follow up question. I
know you only drink natural wine, and I know Guy
Fiery does not drink naturally making sentence for you a
glass of his dinner wine. What do you drink it down? Yes?
Or no? Suck the whole thing down and ask for more.
(22:40):
I really would. I'd ask for more until I got
so black out that I probably would offer to like
suck his dick and his like convertible. Um, what would
exclusive Wilson exclusive? Why I name my vineyard? Am I
(23:01):
owning it with guy? Or is it just mine? I
think it was just yours? But you know you could
own it with Guy like oh that what could be
an incredible collaboration. Hmm. What would I name my wine?
Probably just like delectable, delectable, delectable wine. But if I
(23:25):
wanted like a country vineyard name, probably like like mm hmm,
this is hard, It's okay, you know, we're just freeballing,
probably like Flora May Vineyards. WHOA I love Flora May
(23:46):
Vineyards family names, you know, from the family. I could
see us going there and we're in like dressed in
like all pucci and having on a Verandah drinking Flora, Ma,
let's go to let's go. Yes, I've never been. Let's go.
(24:07):
I've been once with my ex boyfriend, but we should go.
I'll be your I'll be your boyfriend. And it's really
it's really nice, it's really beautiful. I mean, like, I'm
not very into wine tasting culture because I get so
drunk after like one tasting same same, So I need
to figure out how to how to balance all that, right, Yeah,
(24:31):
and we we usually do a bag of mushrooms. Yeah,
if you get me, we like legally have to do mushrooms.
And then if you get me shrooming wasted on like
at multiple tastings at vineyards, we need to call out
sick for the next week. Yeah yeah, No, I mean
I think we'd have to budget a sick time after,
(24:51):
but no, I think that could be fun sometime. Okay, good.
I love that, Flora may Or. Although I would never
deign to define someone by their partner, Guy Fiery has
been married to his wife Lorie for twenty six years.
(25:12):
Would you say it's because Guy takes her on a
road rock and trip to Flavortown with a gravitational force
of bacon warps the laws of space and time metaphorically.
And if no, what do you think are the top
reasons their love has lasted? Well? I think that's absolutely
a huge reason why their love has lasted. I think
(25:34):
that he literally, like flavor blasts her life in all
of the right ways. I think that first of all,
I think they fuck right regularly. Do you think he
brings her hall openion poppers in bed, because that's my dream.
I think that he will bring her anything she wants.
(25:54):
I think if she wants to have fun, little boneless
wing in like a taryaki glaze, He's got a real
big daddy masculine take care of his wife, Vive. I
think if she's craving a macaroni and cheeseball, I'll get
that right up. Can you imagine? I think that she's
craving just like chopped salad. He'll whip that up. It
(26:18):
sounds really good. I really think he like lays it
the fun down for her. Oh so you think that
Guy Ferri has got a hammer on him. Yeah, yeah, absolutely,
Guy Fiery has a hog. Yeah he's got a hog.
You don't look like that and not have a fucking hog.
(26:41):
He's giving you the confidence every day babe. It would
explain like his sort of deep grounded, steadfast nature despite
any hatred being rolled at him by Wells and the culture.
He's like a dick. He's off him. He's not worried,
and it's like there's something going on. Yeah he's like
(27:06):
I'm fine. Yeah, He's like, relax everyone, I'm doing great,
so below they say. I Also I also just think
about like, I don't know, I think that he's like
a really committed person. He doesn't seem like someone that's
I think he takes his like business really seriously, and
(27:28):
I don't think he's one of these people that wants
to be out here like fucking around and jeopardizing that right.
He Also, it's just so funny because he's associated with
sort of low brow miss but I think he really
operates with a high level of grace. Yeah. I also
think he's a family guy. Like I think he's a
(27:50):
real family man, and I think he like loves his
family so much and would do anything for them. I mean,
his eldest son, writer is or Hunter. I think it's Writer,
you know, it's Hunter is his eldest these people, while
his eldest like is Basically he's being groomed to like
(28:12):
take over Guy Fiery Enterprises because he's in episodes of
He's in episodes of Triple D. He's in He's with
his dad constantly. When when Guy was cooking from home,
he was helping him the whole entire time, Like and
you know, he's just like Papa. He has his ears pierced.
(28:33):
He's wearing cookie little shirts that I think have to
be Yeah, like he's I would love if they're custom
making their flame shirts. I mean they have to be.
That's incredible to think about. I feel like, I feel
like they must. I would love that because like I
would love to have someone custom making my own clothes.
But to think of Guy's bowling shirts just being custom made,
(28:58):
that's incredible. Custom jobs. You know that, um Tim Robinson
shirts sketch I think so. Yeah, it's like that. It's
like jazzy crazy shirts, jazzy crazy shirts. Yeah. I love Guy.
I know he's like they don't make him like him,
you know what I mean. It's like everyone thinks that
(29:21):
you need to become some like played out Dick Quad
when you get rich and famous, and guess what, you
don't you can be like we have to write a
note to remember that for when we're so be more
like Guy. The next time I get into a fight
with someone, I'm gonna say, hey, buddy, why don't you
be more like guy. I'm really looking for a family
man that same way, like I want someone who really
(29:44):
who really values family and would also bring me whip
me up a mac and cheese ball. Would you say
yes to a date with a young guy fiery? Um?
You know, I don't know. I'm not sure if my
spiritual self would come into play to recognize what was there.
I can't say that I feel magnetically pulled towards a
(30:07):
bleached spiked hair man at this age in my life.
But be aesthetic. You don't know if you can handle
the aesthetic, but what's underneath you would want? You want
the guy spirit in a different vessel, yeah, or you know,
like I wouldn't even say I'm like a very looks
focused person. I don't even think I am. I just
(30:27):
pray to recognize the person, to be able to recognize
what's there that I need to recognize. So then maybe
you would go on a date with someone that looked
like guy. I can't. I don't know if I would
be able to have the capacity aware you would go
on a date with young guy, you wouldn't really like
(30:52):
it me not me, not trying to be a funny
crazy gal. I don't No, I don't know, because honestly,
like younger me, I loved like weirdo looking do oh
you liked a hard look? I think for me because
I grew up. I didn't grow up in like an
(31:12):
artsy place in any way shape or form even near
like a big city. And so my natural just attraction
to men cellularly is like a very masculine man. So
I don't remember. I'm not really ever attracted to a
man with a hard look like a cellularly attracted to
like muscles, but not in a way that's like jacked,
(31:34):
but like washboard, lean cut athletic. I hate that contrap
their own wood is like nothing, not like they're in
the gym every second, you know. No, not not like
a GTL person like, because that's too much vanity. It
has to be something like understated. Like it's rooted in sports,
(31:56):
right right, right right, The besique is ground it in sports,
where I've always been attracted to like I mean, actually,
I will go on a date with young guy. Because
a guy that I dated is an incredible chef who's
like neck down fully covered in tattoos, wore metal shirts
(32:16):
all the time. Like not, how long did you date for?
How long did I date? Um? God, I was like
in love with him? Really how I was probably like
twenty three or twenty four. I do like thinking about
(32:38):
the guys that you dated in New York. I know, well,
you know what, I've always had a soft spot for
guys that work in hospitality. I was just going to
say that, but I wanted you to say it first. Yeah,
I've always been a sucker for a bartender. Walking downtown,
You'd be like, oh, I dated that guy. I made
(33:00):
out with that guy we'd passed like a bar restaurant. Yeah, yeah,
I was like a real I was a bar slut.
I liked it though. It sounds like you really lived.
I just like any I just am attracted to anyone
that can make me something delicious and like use their hands, right.
I totally get what you're saying. That's a very attractive thing.
(33:22):
And it's also there like caring for you and it's
like artistry. It's really it's really beautiful and to the
chef that I dated. Actually I went, we went. We
didn't go to the same high school, but we grew
up together in d C. And Um, I always thought
he was like so cute and kind of mysterious in
(33:45):
high school because he was the kid that was like
making like Demi glazes and like making crazy we have
insane like he and his friends would get stoned and
then he'd cooked them like wild ass food. You know,
that kind of rubbed off on you. Like I'll never
forget that one time we were in Toby Hannah and
you made that rose pedal pie that you like seven hours.
(34:11):
It was like the most insane thing I've ever seen. Yeah,
that was like the most intricate shit. It was crazy.
I love baking really wow. But Yeah, anyway, this guy,
like we dated on and not we dated for like
a little bit, but he was living in California when
I was living in New York and unfortunately, just like
(34:33):
didn't really work out for that reason. Um, and he
did go on to win a Michlin Star and yes,
and now he has a really really really cool restaurant
in d C and has a kid. Congratulated him on
having a kid. Oh that's nice. That's very gracious of you.
Thank you. I'm a gracious lover. You are I think
(34:55):
you are, and you know you are married and doing
very well too. I'm sure he was thrilled to get
a congrats from you. You know, we follow each other
in insta. I saw the baby, I said, is this yours?
Question mark? And he said it is and then told
me the name, and I said Mozzle even though he's
(35:17):
not Jewish, but you know, the sentiment is what matters.
I love. I mean, I'm as like you know, no
one thinks I'm Jewish, but I feel so thrilled when
any of my Jewish friends say Mozl to me. You know,
it's very and we You gotta thank Andy Cohen at
the end of the day for making Mozzl mainstream. Oh god,
(35:39):
this is fun. Greta Lucian has been working over time
and uh discovered you were quoted as saying, remember there
was more than one way to eat a risis, how
about more than my ass I And sometimes the ocean
(36:01):
reminds me of a big latte splashing his milky foam
on mother slips sand. Life is beautiful, which feels spiritually
similar to Guy Ferry Ethos it's been such an honor
to have you here. Would you please take this time
to give our studio audience your own best Guy Fiery
selling his Guy Italian nachos and mac Daddy Mac and
(36:22):
cheese cock starts now, my Guy Fiery and Lasagna nachos.
Start with one layer of crisp pasta, followed by some
assids kicking brown beef lariner, spicy tomato sauce. The up
high with three kinds of cheddar. That's right, spicy, mild,
and extra sharp. Then you know we've gotta touple that
(36:43):
with some pickled lapenos striped from my farm to yours.
That's right, farm to table, Guy Fiery. After that, we're
gonna take another layer of lasagna, pile that high with
even more meat and cheese. Oh and then if you
didn't think that was enough, we have my macaroni super
Sauce sliders. Have you ever had macaroni balls in between
two chip bottle rolls? Will remind you I am Italian
(37:06):
and by macaroni balls, they're made of mozzarella and of course,
and there's a marscapone finished with a beautiful panko crust
on top of that ball that we sandwiched between again
rolls of cheer bottom with of course my donkey sauce
in garlic a really masterfuck just Guy Fiery better than
(37:30):
Guy Fiery and here with a kicker. It's all served
on a license plate. Whoa, whoa. That was incredible. That
was talent. They should bring you on SNL to do
(37:51):
Guy Fiery, like um, I would bring Melissa McCarthy on
to do Sean Hannity. Yeah SNLF of listening, I will
come on to do Guy Fieri. And that's it. God,
I am sweating. I just laughed so hard. That was
incredible laugh. She loves to make me laugh, and boy
(38:13):
is she doing well. We're gonna have to cut that
clip and broadcast out wide. Guy Farrell loses motherfucking mind
and literally like responds comments even likes I will maybe
I'll retire. I think we couldn't make that happen easily
(38:34):
like I do. Think we just set that for you
into the universe and that that's like something that could
easily happen. I also did love Um you did add
a little bit of an Italian um flair that I
don't remember being there. Um some great pronunciation. Thank you.
Did you watch House of Gucci. I have not watched.
(38:56):
I have not watched it yet. I do need to watch.
I've heard it's fun. You know. I watched Ship because
I am forbid or worse a Gaga super fan. Um
so Gaga, some might say, is the guy theory of
pop music? Yes, I'm gonna leave you with that. I'm
gonna put that in your pipe for you to smoke.
(39:17):
It's like, look, I just felt a wave crash over
me of truth, but also I wasn't sure if I
wanted another part of me to agree and grand hold
of that. You can just think about it. Just oh,
(39:40):
will I be chewing on that? What's getting hot here? Okay?
Guy once said, I don't know if it's fair to
call their Russian dressing Russian dressing. I think again a
master marketer, that it should be called something sexy like
liquid Moscow. Do you think that this is um a
(40:05):
good idea considering what's going on right now? Would you
say that calling it liquid Moscow means that m Guy
ferries pro war or I think that Guy Faery said
that at a very different geopolitical time, and I think
that given what is going on in the world, I
am going to um not be commenting. I'm gracefully going
(40:28):
to pass on this question. You know, God, you have
great presence of mind, because sometimes Lucian writes these questions
that I frankly am not behind. It's almost sort of
like he's trying to have gotcha journalism, kind of kind
of prank, you know. Yeah, And I say, Lucian, you
just needed to chill out, but you seem so chill
when you're just sitting in your chair at the current
(40:49):
river having a mountain dew. And then sometimes he comes
out with these questions where I'm like, come on, these
people are really important to me. Stops trying to catch them. Yeah,
he really. Sometimes he does like to like you got
got vibes, but which is crazy because it's so the
opposite of who I am. I know, You're not like
that at all. It is it is crazy. I mean again,
(41:10):
this is why I think that I would love someone
on one time with Lucien into kind of like hang
and just be like what's up? Yeah? I know. Look,
I'm always trying to weasel my way into his schedule
and he sure does not make time for me. But
although I do give him a lot of work, so
he's really busy. Yeah he is, well alright. Guy likes
(41:38):
to collect classic American cars, as you already know because
you know everything about him, including a nineteen seventy one
Chevrolet Chevel, nineteen sixty eight Pontiac Firebird, and a nineteen
seventy six Jeep C J five and nineteen sixty nine
Chevrolet and Paula SS, which also means absolutely nothing to
(42:00):
um person who has only seen four cars in her life.
If you were hitchhiking and Guy picked you up in
one of these classic cars, Uh, what three questions would
you ask him? And keep in mind you can only
ask him these three questions and then are not allowed
to speak for the rest of the car ride. Really, Yeah,
(42:26):
what's your fantasy? That's a good one. That's a really
good question. What is your drive, what's your driving force?
And what is the soundtrack to your life? Wow? You
(42:51):
know I can see that those questions so incredible would
take up probably the whole car ride. Wow. Yeah, I
know he I would be dying to know what he'd
have to stay about that. I feel like we could
probably guess soundtracks to his life. Like, I feel like
there's definitely like I feel like he's really like Depeche
Mode def Leopard, like White Snake. I feel like that's
(43:14):
really sure. What's going on? Sammy Hagar, Sammy Hagar. Wow,
there's yard work happening next to me because someone is
trying to silence my voice about how much I love
Guy Fierry. Can you hear this? Yeah, I can imagine.
Probably Pete well sent that over. No, I can't hear anything,
(43:37):
so your golden no silencing happening here. This is making
it to the air wars and messes, dream on Pete
toward it again, pal Um, Alright, apparently Guy wakes up
every morning thinking about food. How often do you think
about food? And please be a truthful Gretta. We have
(43:58):
experts here who are listening in and they will determine
if you're lying. If they determine you are lying, you
could be not by my will immediately objected from the show.
I wake up every single morning and I think about food.
That feels like deep truth to me. It is honestly like,
(44:18):
I sorry to overshare. I need to have a gorgeous
bowel movement every morning before I eat. So you wait,
so I wait, But like in the window that I wait,
I just dream I'm like, what's it going to be today?
You're making plans. I'm making plans. I make myself my
(44:41):
breakfast ritual and it's only started since moving to l A.
Because I know what you eat for breakfast. I just
like I have whole ritual. You have eggs, a um,
side of avocado, and a piece of glue frue toes. Yes,
I oh my god, well there read me to sell um.
(45:03):
That sounds advertising some of the drinks that you drink,
but a lot of other people I know drink them too,
And I can't. Like you drink macha, which is just
crazy to me, and like, oh don't you drink like
oh milk lattes and ship No, I can't. I can't
have latches. It's too much milk, like a nasty. I know.
(45:25):
My my drinks are when I make my macha and
even when I order it out. I asked for it
to be mostly made with water and a little bit
of almonds or oat milk, and then I drink cold
brew with a little bit of almond or oat depending
on my mood. Guy fiery sanctioned, um, what the fuck
(45:48):
is up with macha? Like? Because you know I like
I like antioxidants. I like that sort of thing. I
like these like Miracle health lixers, and so in my
head I think, yeah, I'm gonna love macha. I'll drink
some gnarly green ship. And then I tasted it and
I was like, this is asked, where did you try it?
(46:10):
I don't know. I've tried it multiple times. Ok. Too.
You know how I feel about oat milk. Oh, milk
is not my favor. I hate that. I like almond milk.
I know how bad it is for the environment. I
didn't know that almond milk. It's bad environment because of
the water. Water. Yeah, that makes sense. Avocados tocados takes
(46:31):
so much water and they take nine months to fully
ripen like a damn baby. Yes, my dad he has
a many avocado father's tak Yeah, I call them ravocados.
I want a robocado. I'll bring you on. I bet
they're delicious. Problem, Yeah, I I think the problem with
(46:52):
macha is a lot of people. Most people actually don't
know how to make it properly, because like there is
a ceremonial aspect to making macha. Isn't it like an
ancient thing? Like isn't it what? What is it? It's
like a spiritual thing, right, Um, I don't fully know
(47:15):
if it's spiritual, but I know that there's like a
traditional tea service. Okay, it's like a ritual thing. It's
a ritual there's a specific way that you need to
make it. You know. It goes back to the Tang
dynasty in China. Okay, I just want to know the
truth here. Just tell me honestly. Did you have to
(47:36):
acquire a taste for it or did you like it?
Minute one? Because I love a dirty martini, but it
took me a while to acquire martini taste for martinis,
like because when I tried Macha, I was like, no
one actually likes this ship. Okay. I really like green tea. Okay,
(47:56):
so I think that I like went into it liking
the kind of bitterness that comes with like a green tea.
And I also like the caffeine ride. It takes you on.
What is the caffeine It's super like grab It's like mushrooms.
It's like super gradual and nice, and you don't have
(48:19):
it doesn't like fully drain your adrenals like coffee. You know,
I drink coffee. I get fucked up on coffee. Every day. Yeah,
I I take my adrenals for the a gnarly up
and down roller coaster ride. Yeah, I take like adrenal
support supplements because I am fully like you know, I
(48:41):
want to get sucked and fucked by my coffee every day,
and like I have to put real limits on myself.
Sometimes I create nasty habits where I'll like I'll have one.
I mean I drink when I'm being really bad. Some
days I can drink forty eight ounces of cold brow.
(49:02):
Really I never knew that about you. That's I mean,
that's what I'm being. Like you have to go through
a crazy That's what I'm being like nasty, like really crazy,
Like you know you're grow liquid enema. Yeah. Like on
good days, I just have one large one and that's
(49:22):
me and I'll drink it between um, like eight and
nine am. Yeah. But like today it's a little crazy.
I will have had when the day is done, I
will have had thirty six ounces of cold. Yeah. Well
(49:46):
you you're exerting a lot of brain energy today. You
have a big day. Um. But I always you know,
we've talked about this today because like you know, these
actors is like Lucy Lou and um, Jennifer Lopez. They
say that they don't have of caffeine, which I cannot
fathom because what their schedules are, like our schedules are
already insane, and like I'll find myself like I cannot
(50:09):
go do the show. I cannot do this audition unless
I get caffeine. I'm so brain dead tired. I don't
know how they're flying back and forth, like from China
to California to all this stuff without having any caffeine.
But I know it's so good for your skin, like
their skin looks like babies, you know, for me, And
I think this is why I also love guys so much,
(50:32):
like I'm here to live, like I'm on this earth
to enjoy the pleasures of life, and you, Blair, are
very you really also reinforce that too, like really, thank you,
that's so nice of you to say, well, I want
to enjoy my life on this earth, and like this
life is so short. I want to enjoy the pleasure
(50:53):
of having as much goddamn coffee as I please, because
I love I love coffee. Coffee is a love of
my life, like I love matcha too, but like coffee
for me after or before breakfast, like coffee is what
(51:14):
I wake up salvating for like a like a dog
seeing raw meat. I'm like coffee coffee, yes, okay, well
does it? Does a drink coffee for the listeners, A
is um Gretta's beloved husband. Yes, and yes he does
drink coffee. He drinks a black that's gnarly. I try
to do that sometimes, just doesn't hit the same. But
(51:37):
he's not, like, he's not as crazy as I am.
It's not a taste connection for him. It's more like
just a function, right Yeah. For him, it's like I
want to get I want the caffeine. Hip. For me,
I'm like, it's the flavor. Like I even will funk
around sometimes and just get like dec half Americano because
I just want the flavor. Right. Oh that's wild. That's
(51:58):
some crazy ship. And that's why of my teeth look
like fucking corn colonels. What you are so crazy? They
do not. Always has been saying this, and they do
not just gorgeous teeth, okay, corn nibbles. They are not.
You're so nuts, They're not even close beautiful teeth. Um. Okay,
(52:18):
last question, because I have kept you so long before
we have one more segment. But did you know that
guy Fiery hates eggs? Lucien found this out Somehow do
you feel comfortable continuing to consume your daily eggs knowing
this fact? Does? I mean you're not really a real guy,
fiery fan, I had no idea that guy doesn't like eggs. Yeah,
(52:42):
you never would know that. It's crazy a Lucien God
does these deep dishes. Must have done some hardcore digging. No,
I mean he's special ops like I Honestly, he tells
me that I'm not always allowed to know how he
gets the information. He says, it's best if you don't know,
(53:03):
because it does sometimes get dark, like I don't know,
I'm not really sure how he knows that guy doesn't
like eggs. Well, here's the thing. I know that guy
would support me in eating my eggs, even if he
himself did not want to eat eggs with me, because
he's a chill dude. Yeah, and that's and that's all
(53:24):
that I care about. That's all that matters really is
being a chill dude in life. But it is weird
because I do picture him eating the Scotch egg or
I a Scotch egg or even like a benedict, like
a benedict, or like sauce like dumped on his head,
or like a burger with a fried egg on it,
(53:45):
or something that sounds so good, or like a croc
monsieur or damn, whichever one has the eggs. But he
would rename it if he's making that ship. Oh yeah,
and he would rename it like something fucking crazy. Oh
my god, this has been so funny. I cannot believe
(54:05):
that the cruel fate of the world that we even
have to end this episode. But I do have to
ask you. We do have a fun segment called Fan
on the Street, which will eventually be listeners calling in
with their celebrity encounter stories. But until then, since we're
in our first couple of episodes, I'd love to hear
(54:25):
if you have a fun celebrity uh found on the
streets story of your own that you'd be willing to
share with our listeners. I mean I have, I I
have like I know you have many, you have one thousand.
(54:50):
I have a really cute one. Oh please, we love
cute here. Okay. When I was in the fourth grade,
I was obviously obsessed with Hollywood and I wanted to
be a movie star, and my favorite thing was to
watch Nick at night. And I loved I love Lucy,
I loved Happy Days. I loved all of it, and
of course I loved the Fonds a k a. Henry Winkler.
(55:14):
So he had to write a little paper when we
were in like the fourth grade about someone we admired,
and I decided to write my paper about Henry Winkler. Hilarious.
Cut too. Like a week after we get this assignment,
I'm in New York with my parents. We are at
the hotel they would stay in in New York. And
who am I writing the elevator with Henry Winkler. That's manifestation.
(55:40):
So my mom said to me, excuse me, Mr Winkler,
my daughter would love to meet you. She's writing a
paper about you. And I'm like nine years old, you
know what I mean. And he's and he's probably he
did say to me. He was like, you're writing a
paper about me, and I was like, I him, And
(56:00):
then he said, if you have any questions, I'm going
to give you the number to my office. Feel free
to call me whenever you want. That is the sweetest,
most charming thing you've I've ever heard in my life,
and he gave me his fucking number for me to
call him and ask him any questions about that is
(56:21):
so sweet. Did you ever call? I didn't, but for
the longest I think it's classy that you didn't call.
But still for the longest time, I just had Henry
Winkler's number in my phone. WHOA. And I've heard that
he is like the best best person. Like I've heard
he's a wonderful, wonderful man, had so nice that you
(56:42):
feel that from him, and like I would think that
he's like that. But that's just so beautiful. Also a
reminder because even like at our level, you get so
many people like messaging you asking for things, yeah, and
it's like it gets overwhelming. So to think of someone
who like that, who was just like was his number
(57:04):
to a little girl. This was at a time though,
when like there was so much space between yeah, that
people didn't have constant access to you, right, Um, But
years years years years years later, okay, literally twenty years later,
I'm at my friend's birthday party and his son was
(57:24):
there and I tell his son this story and he
loved the story, and I was so happy to hear.
It is so sweet. Oh my god, that's the sweetest
thing in the world. I'm so glad that you participated
in the fan on the Streets segment. So a great story. Well, Greta,
how fun was this fun? The most guests, most times guests?
(57:51):
I can I don't know how that's called. What you
that title would be called in proper language. V I
p guest, best guest of all time, guests of all
time has been on the show the most of anyone else.
And are we for what a big gift for us?
And I think that guy Arry is going to find
out because that run you had was incredible and I
(58:14):
think it will stick with everyone forever. I hope God
willing love you, Greta, Love you Blair. Bye bye, bye
bye
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