June 13, 2022 • 64 mins
Blair welcomes one of her favorite people in the world, Martha Kelly (Baskets, Euphoria, Hacks), to the show! She comes on to profess her love for three little guys we all know and love.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Dear
Owen Wilson. I just want to tell you, guys, I
am having the time of my life reporting this podcast
for you guys. It's just been so fun and thank
you all so much for listening. Today's episode so exciting.
I have my dear friend Martha Kelly on. You know
(00:23):
her from Baskets, you know her from this current season
of Hacks Euphoria Comedy Central. She's all over the play.
She's incredible marriage story, She's everywhere. Uh. Martha is so
funny and just such a lovely person. It was just
such a great excuse to catch up with her and
see her. So thank you for that, because you guys
(00:44):
are making that possible for me. And right now, I
guess the only thing I have to tell you about
is I'll be on tour this summer with Ron Funcies.
So look at Ron funcces dot com to see if
I'm coming to your city because I would love to
see you. That's going to be really fun and um yeah, lastly,
please rate the podcast, take a check in, give me
(01:07):
a five star reviews so I can keep this baby
going for you. I think I have some reviews but
I thought I'd have thousands of now, So yeah, just
if you could take a second out of your day,
that would be amazing. And you have no idea how
much it means to me. I'm loving all the feedback
your guys, d M, your emails. It's just so much
(01:27):
fun um to hear how you guys feel about the pod,
what you like about it, your tweets. I just really
appreciate it so much and I'm really grateful. Uh still
keep it up because I love it. It makes me
happy and this is just so much fun. And I
hope you guys have a great week and enjoy this
(01:48):
episode with Martha Kelly. Thank you so much. Hello one,
and then welcome back to another edition of the Dear
O in Wilson Podcast with your host Blair Saki. You guys,
(02:10):
do I have a treat for you? Do I have
a treat for me? Really, this is a treat for me.
I have a guest today. The most sought after woman
in Hollywood, the crown jewel of the town of my heart,
(02:31):
the penultimate talent in this god forsaken business, The one
person I admire, the one person I dream about sprending
my time with, is here and now please give me
the pleasure of introducing my friend Martha Kelly. Everybody. Hey, um,
(03:06):
thank you for that amazing introduction, Blair. I appreciate it.
Probably probably not going to live up to even half
of it, but I appreciate it. I knew you were
gonna say that. But I have this hunch, Martha, that
you don't do a lot of podcasts. So just the
(03:27):
actual gratitude I feel in this moment is deep and overflowing. Well, um,
full disclosure, I do do a fair amount of podcasts,
but even if I but even if I didn't, I
would still want to do this. I mean I do
maybe one every couple of months. Oh okay, so but
(03:51):
I did one earlier this week, but no, I would
do yours anyway. Wow, that's so nice. Uh recently this
podcast hasn't even uh, well I should it will be
launched by the time this comes out. But yeah, I
never really saw myself having a podcast, and now I
have one, and I'm enjoying it so deeply because really,
(04:15):
what it is I'm connecting in a spiritual way with
my loved ones that I don't get to see that often.
That's really nice. I my dream is to think of
an idea for a podcast and just make a have
it be a hit, and then make a living with
a hip podcast. But so far as zero ideas, I
(04:39):
know that it's on its way. But yeah, I know
I do the wish for both of us that we
could be extremely uh rich from podcast. Sort of we
could be like Joe Rogans, but in a different way.
You know, maybe two hundred mille mill come our way
from our podcast. I will love that. I welcome it,
(05:01):
and I'm willing. I'm definitely willing to become an mm
A fighter if that would help. I wouldn't do well,
but I'm willing to try it. WHOA, that's crazy, Martha.
Imagine you as an m m A fighter. It's not
something that had crossed my mind. I really find U
m m A to be sort of this Roman times
(05:24):
thing that I can't believe is existing, uh in current
day the zeitgeist, because I see that and it looks
so barbaric, like their faces there's so much blood, and yeah, yeah,
I can't. I don't watch Jenny. I don't watch it.
I don't watch regular boxing. I can't handle it. But
(05:44):
I'm not picturing myself as an m M a fighter
as as someone who actually has matches. I just I
would get um, I'd work out a lot like Joe
Rogan and not be totally must alert. But um, this
this actually, now that I'm saying it out loud, this
(06:06):
is a terrible idea happen. Okay, Well, you know, sometimes
these hits come to us and you know, and we
have to pivot change direction. But we don't really know
what the future lies ahead for us. All I know,
I feel like you and I share this between us,
A sensitivity. I, you know, cannot involve myself with any
(06:31):
violence or any sort of anxiety inducing things like TV
situations like that. Is that true for you? Also? Yeah,
I don't. I like I've I wanted to watch The
Sopranos because I know it's great and I love Tony Soprano,
(06:51):
the actor that's not his real names Gandolfini. Um, but
I started with episode one and it's so violent, how
way through that as I can't watch it. It's so
funny that you say that, because I felt like that
for years and then I had a breakup in eighteen.
I was really feeling uh down and dark, and I thought,
(07:14):
you know what today's to day, we're going to fire
it up. I'll watched the whole series in three weeks.
It was just what I needed at the time. Uh yeah,
I'm sick. I binged it in a sort of addictive way.
But I I think I would not have been able
to watch it outside of that specific moment in time. Yeah.
(07:35):
I might try it again at some point, but also like,
I can't watch Succession because the emotional destruction that the
to I can't. I did love, and still love and
have rewatched the TV series Hannibal, but and there and
it's about a serial killer and he does really bloody murders,
(07:59):
but the way they shoot it is like, uh, it
doesn't feel real. It feels it feels very stylized and
like almost like a magazine layout. So it's not the
same as watching The Sopranos, where I just remember they
like they drove that, they drove a car onto a
(08:19):
sidewalk and just beat a guy up, and I can't. Yeah,
I totally understand. You know, it's interesting, Martha. I heard,
I think honestly from Twitter trending moments, that you are
lighting up the hit show Euphoria on HBL. Is that true?
(08:41):
Um did you say lighting up Martha, that's not the
point that that's not the word that I wanted you
to pick out. But yes, that's what I said. Um.
I I would describe it as bringing a monotone to
(09:02):
to scenes that where everyone else is actually doing a
lot of intense emotional acting. And then my character, as
always any time I get an acting job, my character
is like, hey, guys, what's going on? And uh yeah, yeah,
but that's cool as hell because you know, your character
(09:23):
is very needed in the world. I need that person
in Boy, do you fill it beautifully. I wanted to
watch you for you because all my friends are obsessed
with it. Say, it's like one of the best shows
on television. I try to watch the first episode. I
couldn't get through it because I had way too much anxiety.
I had to stop there. Yeah, it is very uh um.
(09:45):
I actually reading one of the scripts for the second
season I did, it was really uh stressful. Until I
got to the end of it. I definitely thought something
worse was going to happen to Rue than what happens,
which is already bad. Um. It is a stressful show,
(10:06):
but it is a great show, and I guess uh,
I guess I just assume that no one's gonna die
on it. Yeah, well, because I need maybe I should
try it again, because truly, everyone I know is so
into it, and I'm like, I love to, you know,
(10:27):
partake in a great television show. I feel there's a
lot of joy there, but god, it gave me a
lot of anxiety because I'm very sensitive woman. It's yeah,
and there there's at least one episode in season one
where there's a guy beating up another guy that it's
I wish i'd never watched that, and I would when
(10:48):
I would fast forward through it, and I would tell
other people to fast forward to it because it's it's
really disturbing. It's different than a regular fight scene in
a movie or a TV show. It's just horribly disturbing.
All right, Well, mental note in case I ever find
the shrink deep within the abyss of myself to start
(11:09):
over again on season one. Yeah. Okay, Well, Martha, look,
you know I've already said I'm your biggest fan on
the planet Earth, and now if you could do me
and the show the honor of reading your letter, it
would be my honor and thank you for having me.
(11:30):
Let me look over here at this other window, and okay,
this is my fan letter, and it's uh, it's let's see,
it's about one in a quarter pages, So here we go.
Dear Alvin, Simon and Theodore. We've never met, but I
(11:52):
am probably your biggest fan. I've seen all your movies
and I'm hoping the next one is a concert film.
Not to tell yeah your business, but it worked wonders
for Katie Perry's career. Just sing while you, guys moll
that over. I wanted to ask you a few questions
about your existing movies. In two thousand and sevens Alvin
(12:14):
and the Chipmunks, when you guys first meet Dave Saville,
did it bother you that he called you unnatural and
somewhat evil for being talking chipmunks and then kicked you
out of his house, only to turn around and invite
you back in an hour later after hearing you sing.
I can't imagine it was easy to trust him after that.
(12:37):
You have to wonder is he really your friend or
did your three part harmonies just make him see dollar
dollar bills? Speaking of mad, how did you guys feel
in the Squeak wol when Dave and rolled you in
the local high school. On the one hand, I'm sure
it was exciting for Alvin to make the varsity football
(12:58):
team and score the winning touchdown in the big game,
but it wasn't fair to Theodore, who was way out
of his stepth academically, or Simon, who was ruthlessly bullied
by the jocks simply for asking them not to litter.
I mean, come on, overall, I thought chip Wrecked was
(13:18):
a great film, but there's one part I don't understand.
When those three women insult the chip bets and challenge
them to a dance off on the Lito deck, why
aren't they thrown overboard when they lose. I know that
sounds harsh, but they started that ship, so they would
have had no one to blame but themselves. Finally, this
(13:42):
question is just for Alvin and Simon in the road Chip,
when Theodore gets hit by a car and everyone thinks
he's dead. Be honest, was there any part of you
that would have been glad to only have to split
your profits two ways from now on? I have a
lot more questions, but we'll save them from when we
(14:05):
hopefully meet in person one day. Thank you for being
the greatest pop group of all time. Love Martha, Oh Martha,
Oh my god. Wow, what an exquisite letter full of
hearts and details and whimsy. Incredible. Thank you, thank you, Wow,
(14:29):
thank you. Blair Tho. Well, as you know, as you
are familiar from having done the live show the pop
cult Hit. Now is the portion of when we delve
into the hard hitting interview. And yes, and I know
you're familiar, and you're going to be doing great, and
(14:51):
I think you remember that my private detective, Lucian Wiggles
ultimately helps me a lot with my research and questions.
So just keep out in mind, you know, not all
of these are from me, he writes, a lot of them. Um, okay,
let's get started. So Lucien has been working his ass off,
(15:11):
and he told me that Alvin Simon and Theodore's mother, Vinnie,
is a similarly anthropomorphic chipmunk living in a nearby forest.
One year, particularly harsh winter had caused a nut shortage,
and the forest dwellers were barely able to forge enough
fly for themselves. Vinnie realized that her newborn children would
(15:34):
likely not survive the winter, and so I was forced
to get them up. She anonymously left them on Dave's doorstep,
as she had earlier seen him treating forest creatures kindly.
She did return a couple of years later, but had
seen that they were happy in their new life with
Dave and decided to leave things as they are. Jeez,
sounds like me and my ex boyfriend. Just kidding. He's
(15:56):
a YouTube star. Have you, Martha, ever selflessly left anything
behind for the greater good? Let me think it's hard.
It's actually hard for me to concentrate on remembering if
I have because of the fact that I'm concerned that
Lucian was scammed by this woman Vinny. Um, because that
(16:23):
is it's documented in the first movie that that is
not at all how they meet Dave. Yeah, luis wrong, Well,
Lucien's probably not wrong. It sounds like this chipmunk Vinny
scammed him and just came out of nowhere and claimed
to be their mom, which you know, Uh, that's not
(16:46):
how they got to Dave's house, and it's actually please
tell us, please tell us in aligness with the true story.
So how they got there is that they were living
in a tree in the Sierra and Nevada Mountains and
some guys cut the tree down to use it as
a Christmas tree in a fancy lobby of a recording
(17:11):
uh studio, a record company, and the day that it
arrived was also the day that Dave Seville was pitching
his most recent song to a record producer. And on
Dave's way out of the building, the chipmunks just jumped
(17:31):
into a basket he was carrying. Yeah, and it was
a basket full of muffins. So it was a good
It was just a good, a lucky break. They caught
for food that day. But they that's how they ended up.
He took them home. He didn't know they were in there,
and then I don't want to go too far into it,
(17:53):
but that's how they got into his house the first time. Wow. Okay, well,
thank you for clearing up that organ story. We do
need to get the lower correct on this podcast. I'm
not quite sure where this false story of Theodore's mother
Vinny happened or that tragic story. Um, We're gonna have
to get to the bottom of that later offline. Um. Okay, well,
(18:19):
so have you left anything behind for the greatest good?
And follow up question, how do you think this relates
to gen Z chipmunks today? Okay, so I've never left
behind any any animals, any living things. Um, I don't
(18:40):
know that I've ever left anything behind that I would
say worked for the greater good. I've moved out of
places I've lived at the drop of a hat and
left like dishes and stuff behind. Oh that's good. Clear
the energy. You know, you don't need it any more,
sever ties, let it go, Yeah, and let it and
(19:04):
then people can people get free dishes. But I don't
know if it might be a stretch to say that
was for the greater good. I can't really nothing comes
to mind. Um. As far as gen Z chipmunks, they've
certainly got a lot to deal with, but they seem
to have a pretty good attitude about life. Yeah, I don't.
(19:29):
I think that if they went to a high school
the way Alvin Simon and Theodore did that they would
gen Z is maybe not as inclined to bully people.
They probably have a better time. I like that. I
do like that about gen d um their lives bullying,
and I like their crop tops and um, you know,
(19:51):
they seem to have a compassionate view of the world. Yeah,
I do like that too. I hope that they under
stand that people from Generation X, which is my generation,
we cannot at this point switch over into having confidence
and self esteem the way that they do. And I
(20:16):
hope they understand we're not against it. We just can't.
It's too late for us, but we're happy for them.
Oh sure, yeah, So you just don't want to be
held to their standard of self confidence and and they
shouldn't be holding you to that. They should just enjoy
their self confidence in their nineteen year old self. Yeah,
(20:39):
and know that they have our blessing that that we can't.
I can't be I cannot be propagandized into having confidence. Okay, good,
I love that powerful. Stay rooted in your truth, Martha. Okay, wow,
(21:07):
this is a shrewd interview if I have ever heard one. Um. Okay, Martha,
let's get to the hard hitting questions. Fuck Mary Kaile,
Alvin Simon, Theodore, or Jeremy Piven. And again, it is
a Thursday in March, Martha, so please keep that in
mind with your answer. Okay, So I don't remember Jeremy
(21:30):
Piven in any of the Chipmunks movies, but I don't
think he is so I know this is an a
fair answer, but I would fuck Mary and kill Jeremy Piven.
None of the Chipmunks their children, so that is problematic.
(21:51):
I could not do that to any of them, but
I would if I mean, yeah, I would. I would
preferably the order would be married Jeremy Piven and then
kill him while fucking him. That's terrible. I'm sorry. Oh
(22:12):
my god, Dear Owen Wilson Exclusive, everybody Wilson Exclusive. You
heard it here first, a hard hitting answer by Martha
Kelly in the Alvin and the chip Bunks podcast. Wow.
That was a good answer, and you know, a lot
(22:33):
of people could have been tripped up by that question,
but not you. And that's what I like about you.
You said grounded in your principles, and you said I'm
not working, I'm not married, and I'm not killing any children.
Yeah I can't. I do think I deserve to be
canceled for being mean about Jeremy Piven, who have never
met and has I have no reason to be Martha,
(22:56):
you cannot. I've never met him either. I I'm not
saying anything about Jeremy. You know, I think if he
heard this podcast and he did understand the scenario, that
he would also be okay with you naming him. Should
he not be a complete monster and choose to sacrifice
children over himself. So I think that you're really safe here.
(23:19):
But I do think it's funny that you feel you
deserve to be canceled. Also, well, we will all get
canceled sooner or later, and it seems like when you do,
you start making more money, so I'm kind of hoping
it happens soon. Yeah, I think we will also be canceled.
I do UM agree with you, because you know it's
(23:41):
just gotten so crazy, But hopefully we will be able
to be doing arenas after that. Although I do have
to say I noticed all these um, these men that
are canceled doing arenas. Um, I haven't seen any canceled
women doing arenas. Maybe we can be the ones, Maybe
(24:04):
we can be the ones to break through. I don't
think that the UM in general. I don't think people
who've gotten canceled we're wrongly canceled. And I also think
if I were to get canceled, it would I would
deserve it. But it does seem uncanny that those guys
(24:25):
that have been canceled make hundreds of millions of dollars
after being canceled. Sure, sure you it is an unlikely uh,
end result of the canceling you. It's surprising you just
don't think it's gonna end that way, But who can know?
Who can know? Um? Okay, Martha, moving on? Sorry, No,
(24:49):
that's okay. It's important for when you and I get canceled.
Um okay, Martha, which monk would you say you most
closely identify with? Um? That's easy. A Theodore. He his
first love is every kind of empty carb that he
(25:10):
can get his little hands on. And that's exactly how
I feel. I can't. I don't eat the fun foods
anymore because I couldn't be reasonable about it. But I
still love them, and I support Theodore. And anyone who
just eats cakes and chips and candies and cheeseballs is
(25:31):
a big hit. Um. I love a cheeseball, do I? Ever?
That is heaven on earth. Yeah, I get what you're saying.
I love when people are like that too, because it
seems to be a conscious choice just to pursue the
jois da vivra, you know, to really suck out all
(25:53):
the morsels of lusciousness in this earthly life. And you know,
you and I are in this town of Hollywood, a tinseltown,
as they say, and we are just compressed and forced
and under all this pressure to be in these skeletal bodies.
(26:14):
And I don't have a skeletal body. You know you've
been though I don't. I don't have a skeletal body. Um,
although I hope one day to to just be a
just an absolute bag of bones walking around. Um. But
I do feel like when you're a kid, and when
(26:36):
you're in your twenties and thirties, um, you should treat
your body like a garbage can, because your body can
mounts back and that's a fun thing to do. When
you get to be my age, if you want to
have a quality of life as you can, you can't
do that, but you should absolutely take advantage of it
(26:58):
when you can, you know. Yeah. For me, it's like
I spend so much time, so much brain power just
dreaming about pizzas and pastas with cream sauce and nat shows.
I love a fully loaded nacho. These are the things
(27:21):
that I dream about that I feel more passionate about
than like doing activities or travel or these things. It's
like food is what brings the joy for me. So
to think that I have to just eat a lot
of vegetables and protein shakes and stuff. Is very sad,
(27:43):
but I love that there are people out there committed
to the cause, like Theodore the Chimunk. He really is,
and in fact, in their latest movie, The Road Chip,
Theodore orders I think like fifty pizzas to be delivered. Yes,
it's heartwarming, and yeah, he's my He's the one I
would I identify with. But I feel like he and
(28:05):
I if we hung out, we would have a lot
of fun. Well one, I know anyone would have fun
with you, But I love a man a child ordering
fifty pizzas. Not only is that sort of just a
reckless pursuit of joy, but it's also welcoming others into
(28:25):
the into that joy as well. Yeah, he does include everybody.
And he also does some great dancing in that movie.
And right around the time the pizzas are being delivered.
And you're too young to remember this, but there was
a show in the late seventies called What's Happening and
a character named Rerun who was kind of similar to
(28:47):
Theodore did a thing called the Rerun Dance and it
was great as like breakdancing, and Theodore does that in
The Road Tip, so a lot of reasons to love
that guy, you know. Oh yeah, everyone loves a good dancer,
and it makes sense. That's sort of that pursuit of
(29:09):
pleasure in the food. Uh, you know, ties into the
freeness of a dancer. No, Martha, do you also enjoy dancing?
Is that something that you do in your life? Um?
Sometimes I do it, uh for exercise at home. Absolutely
never going to do it in front of other people. Again,
(29:31):
I did a little when I was like drunk in college.
We in the early nineties, going to like a club.
It was fun, but like, uh, yeah, I don't. I
don't need It's nobody's business how badly I dance. It's
for me, and it's to be kept private. Okay, Yeah,
(29:52):
I understand. I like to dance myself. Sometimes I'll do
it in public, no problem, But other times I also
wanted just for me. Like for instance, before this podcast,
I uh had a pretty good dance session in my shower.
I got one of those JBL speakers that you see
(30:14):
all these people carrying around, those portable speakers that have
it a surprising amount of wattage on there. They get
going pretty good. I've turned one on in my shower,
having a great time. I was. You know, I did
have to be cognizant of not sleeping, sleeping, not sleeping
during my shower dance. No, not slipping, because that is
(30:37):
a risk of a shower dance. But I really I
was like, this feels good and that was a private scenario.
That's nice. Yeah, I like, Um, I have a U
E role from like four years ago. That's a little
speaker that has has a lot of punch. Huh Um.
I can't take the risk of dancing in the shower
(30:59):
because if I at this point, I just turned fifty
four last Wednesday. Happy birthday, Martha, thank you. It's been
a pleasure to just uh hit another milestone. But if
I were to fall at this age, I probably would
never get out of bed again. I'd probably be bedridden
(31:20):
for life. So no dancing the shower. Very very careful
in my movements. Sure you know, um, well, if I
could say so, I mean, while you look phenomenal, the grace,
the fatality just vibrating off of you, incredible. And I
(31:43):
must know, did you consume a carb on your birthday?
At least? Um? I mean I eat like ezekiel bread
and rice. I don't really eat the like the fun carps,
just because then that's all I want to eat. And
not even on a holiday, no, because then it would
make me uh want it more if I don't. Yeah,
(32:04):
if I don't eat it at all, I don't miss it.
If I try to have a little bit, it's I
can't um control it. Really, you're a stronger soldier than I. Uh,
I've had. I had a lot of years to just
do all you can eat, which I fully did and
(32:24):
no regrets. Right, Um, I actually have this practice. Uh.
Any listeners that have you know, maybe even following me
around for a while, know about this practice that I do.
It's uh I'll call it going to the spa and
that's where I shut the blinds and in my apartment
(32:47):
order a large pizza on a bottle of ranch and
eat it on my floor to completion. And that is
a practice that is actually really restorative to my soul.
But I can also only I do that about once
a month, so twelve times a year. It's my allotment.
That is a really fun spaw day. And yeah, when
(33:10):
I the first time I ever did like a real diet,
when I was like seventeen, I think or eighteen, after
a couple of weeks of it, I was home alone
and I ordered a Domino's pizza medium pepperoni, and I
ate the entire thing and like fifteen minutes, twenty minutes,
didn't feel sick. I just felt like, this is what
(33:32):
my body is built for. And I fucking loved it.
It's so funny that you say that, because that's the
exact response that I feel like every time I do it,
Like are aren't My My friends were like, don't you
feel gross or guilty after? And I'm like, no, bitch,
I'm over here eating the healthy, the greens, the dumbass
protein shakes, going out on my regular days. And then
(33:54):
I finally hit that one day and I said, oh,
I know what daddy needs. Daddy needs a spaw day today.
It's always on a Sunday, and I take it in.
Guess what the next day, Monday. Never felt better in
my life. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with doing that, and
there's a lot that's right about doing that, So I
(34:16):
support it. Yeah, you know, everything in moderation, including moderation.
As they say, Um, okay, Martha, Martha for zero dollars,
true our fault? Would you say? Alvin is Zach Efron
Simon is Tim Gunn and Theodore is Nick Jonas Or
would you say Alvin is Charlie Sheen and David Ron
(34:39):
Livingston and Ian is Kevin Spacey. Gosh, that's tough. Um
wait who is in the second scenario? Who is Alvin? Uh?
Charlie Sheen. I think Alvin is a little bit um
(35:02):
more grounded than Charlie Shane. But that's that trio is
more accurate than I think the first one. Kevin space Wait,
Kevin Spacey is Ian. Yeah, I think that's probably accurate,
although Kevin Kevin Spacey is no longer Kevin Spacey is
(35:23):
only Frank Underwood now, So yeah, I think. Um, although
I have in uh in Tchipwrecked Ian, the character takes
a turn for no, this is a spoiler alert. Ian
become has like a change of heart and becomes kind
of a good guy at the last minute. But you
(35:47):
wouldn't be Kevin Spacey. I guess, Okay, that's good. You
know you love to see Soul's evolution, you know, sort
of a feel good, happy ending. Yeah for sure. Um okay,
And so in the group's name changed from the Chipmunks
(36:08):
to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Why do you think Alvin
became the beyoncee of the group And do you think
in your heart that that was deserved? Um? I do
think it was deserved. And I think that Alvin, like
gen Z, just has a lot of confidence and high
(36:32):
self esteem. And to be honest, before I saw the
first Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, the two thousand seven one,
I thought Alvin was going to be obnoxious and annoying.
But he's, Oh my god, he's such a lovable guy.
He just he simply wants a family, and he and
(36:54):
Simon and Alvin and Theodore forced Dave Seville into having
them as a family. And it's, yeah, Alvin has a
great heart. He really, he's a good guy. He's just
got a lot of confidence and self esteem and occasionally
he's a little self centered, but but who wasn't at
his age? You know. Sure, that's a great thing to
(37:16):
remember and to show compassion to our past selves. Sometimes
I'll think about like an age I was and be like,
oh god, I was a monster then. But really, you know,
I like the perspective that you're approaching it from, like
reclaiming just you know, sometimes those ages were wild Yeah,
(37:38):
and when you're when you're an adolescent and in your
twenties and thirties, never mind, um I just when you're
when you're a kid, it's for sure, like, how do
you You haven't had enough life experience to always know
how to act. So hopefully the adults in your life
(38:02):
are kind about it, you know, because it's it's it's
tough being a kid, yeah, and sometimes you haven't had
enough falls on your face to know how to get
your needs met in the correct way all the time.
But Alvin sounds like he from your description anyways, a
(38:23):
very benevolent description that he was just bursting with charisma
in the way that pop stars uniquely are. Yeah, and
in the in the squeak coool he uh, as I
mentioned in my letter. He makes it onto the varsity
football team in high school, and there's a short lived
rift between him and Simon and Theodore because he gets
(38:47):
carried away with being a jock and he misses an
important concert they're supposed to do, and there's some hurt feelings,
but he realizes where he was wrong and he makes
it up to them and he's it's it's very sweet.
Oh that's great, you know, what you were just saying
brought to my mind. I wonder, do you think it's
(39:09):
possible that the Jonas Brothers, the their concept their self,
concept of their pop star group of brothers perhaps originated
or sparked from Alvin and the Chimunks. It's possible Um
(39:29):
and Hansen as well, which wasn't oh wow, yes over
earlier Rob, I have to say that, Um, the Jonas
Brothers are. I haven't heard a lot of their music,
and I mostly associate them with one of them having
(39:49):
broken Taylor Swift's heart, and uh sure know which one,
but I'm on her side. Whichever one it was, right,
I think I want to say it was Joe, but
maybe maybe it was Nick. I do think that Joe
is a hot one, although they all ended up marrying
like gorgeous women and doing very well. I will admit
(40:13):
to you, you, Martha, because you know I respect you
so dearly, that I did go see the Jonas Brothers
at the Hollywood Bowl with my mother in October of
nineteen for my birthday. That's exciting. Was it really fun?
(40:33):
It was really fun. They put on a great shell.
Everyone was like eighteen or twenty two or something there.
But I had never been to the Hollywood Bowl and
it was, you know, a fun thing with my mom.
We really enjoyed ourselves a gorgeous summer day with a
venue and they put on a show. Because what I
(40:54):
what made me think of it is, you know, they
had a big rift and quit making music for a
long time and then ended up coming back together. That's nice.
Yeah I am, they're not. I'll disclose this to you.
In two thousand two or two thousand three, me and
(41:15):
my twin sister went to see in Sinc at the
San Antonio fun Um. Yeah, I was thirty, in thirty
three or thirty four. Yeah, it was great. We were
like the only people that were just there with no
kids in their early thirties. Everybody else was apparent with
(41:39):
young kids and it was a really fun, fun concert. Yeah.
Those boy bands I don't really exist like that anymore,
where they were like dancing in matching configurations the whole time.
There was like five person boy band groups. It was
really a moment in time, a great moment. And Sink
(42:00):
fan in sinc Fan Martha, Wow, I never knew that
and also I didn't know Yeah twin sister, Yeah we are,
We're not identical or fraternal, But yeah, she visited. I
was living in Austin and she visited me and we
went there and it was super fun and uh, really
fun to go to a concert that's just the rest
(42:20):
of the audience as kids and parents, because you can
stand up and sang along and be an absolute dipshit
and there's no one to be embarrassed in front. Episode.
It's really fun. I love that. And Martha, do you
go back to Austin ever? Is that something you do
or Yeah? And until two thousand nineteen, early two thousand nineteen,
(42:45):
I was living there off and on, and I haven't
been since the pandemic started, but hopefully this within the
next six months or so, I'll get to visit there.
And yeah, it's a great city. It's um it's upsetting
the way the Texas government is governing that state is
(43:09):
pretty scary in a lot of ways, not just like
liberal political concerns, but just the energy grid and the
water treatment systems and stuff. I don't know what's going on,
but um, that's probably not that fun of podcast about
you know, we leave in and out about true life
(43:32):
in between our celebrity deep dive devotion and I know.
I was just thinking because I know you're from there,
and you're actually an Austin legend out of there, and
I'm going next week and I'm excited for south By Southwest.
That'll be really cool. I'm actually I hate to disagree
with you, blirt. I am neither a legend nor am
(43:54):
I from ust and I grew up in Torrents, California.
I mean, I know you're not from there, but you
are as a comedian are claimed by Austin often I
feel I do feel like I can. Yeah, why did
I pick this fight? For no reason? I didn't. I
do feel like an Austin comic just because I did.
(44:16):
I did live there so much while I stand up
and love it. And what's your vivid food to partake
in there? Are you still a healthy gal when you
go there? Um? When I lived there the last time,
I was mostly a potato and cheese and guacamole taco
probably yeah, and um and just a giant latte from Starbucks.
(44:42):
I was mostly a carbon fat diet, my favorite diet.
It's delicious. I think if I when I go there again,
like there's still like they have great Masican food and
uh yeah, there's a bunch of great taco places and stuff.
(45:03):
So yeah, all right, that's what I'm gonna get into.
Because I love Mexican food. I also love barbecue so much.
If you can, you should try to go to the
Salt Look Barbecue place. There's other ones, like I think,
is it maybe Franklin Barbecue is pretty famous, okay in town,
(45:25):
but um, the Salt Look in Pricewood Springs. I think
it's like forty minutes outside of Austin and it's amazing. Okay.
That's a good tip, dear On Willilson exclusive by Martha Kelly,
to go to the Salt Lick Barbecue outside of Austin.
(45:46):
And don't think I'm not writing this down crowd, okay,
because I am. And you can catch my ash at
the Salt Like barbecue place. M Okay. Moving on, I
(46:07):
do have to complete my questions. In the two thousand
seven feature film, as we stated before, their tree was
cut down, Carter off to grace the entrance lobby of
the City office building with them in it after being
thrown out Dave. After they wind up in Dave's home
(46:29):
and they recavic. Dave throws them out, but then he
notices how well they can sing, making him famous and
eventually wins his heart. I know we questioned investigated Dave's
motives before, but do you think in your opinion that
Dave was the original Scooter Braun? Okay, damn, I know
(46:54):
that named Scooter Braun, but I can't remember what Scooter
Braun is. Infamous manager of just Bieber and Ariana grund Day,
but he basically, you know, made Justin Bieber um and
it is a very prominent music manager. Um well, uh,
(47:15):
does Dave like him? I think that Dave is a
is a good hearted guy who who just tried to
He didn't He wasn't ready to be a dad when
they first came to his place, but they want him over,
which you know they would win anybody over. I don't
(47:36):
know if Scoot I don't know Scoot le Braun if
he has a good heart or not. I don't want
to say he doesn't because I don't know. I haven't
heard enough about him. Sure I do think that that
Justin Bieber. I don't I feel bad for anybody who
was a became famous when they were a kid or
an early teen, because it sucks everything up in your
(47:59):
head and there like you know, everybody knows, like there
are adults who get famous who it drives them and
say sure, sure, and it's too much to put on
a kid. I know what I'm saying. Yeah, I I
always think back, oh my god, if anyone was watching,
(48:21):
like when I was a kid growing up, it's just
to have everyone watching while you're growing up through being
a teen and all that on a global scale is
just way too much pressure for anyone. I watched that
Billie Eilish documentary. It sort of was crushing to my
heart to even watch it, to get through the hour
(48:41):
of the documentary because she's like nineteen or twenty or
eighteen or something, and of course I feel she's a
mega talent, but the the pressure on her and the
anxiety and all that is just wild. Yeah. I mean
when I was s edge, I was like, my priorities
(49:03):
were um, like pizza, hamburgers, ice cream, chocolate shakes. Getting
high were so similar. Smoking cigarettes was a lovely thing
to do when I was young. Don't do it anymore.
It just that seems like a lot for for a
kid to deal with. Sure, Yeah, pop star famous is
(49:26):
a whole other thing. I know that Chipmunks, how did
you deal with it and know all about it? But
you know, I'm thankful I'm not one of them. Although
I do wish deeply in my soul um in another
life after this one, that I will be able to sing.
I want to be able to sing so badly. But
I was not blessed without skill in this life. That's
(49:50):
another thing we have in common. I too, if I could,
if you could have any talent that you wanted, that's
the one I would pick to be. And that's absolutely
the one I would pick also. And I always think,
you know, if I was a singer, how the relief,
the sheer, deep relief to just let your gift flow
(50:14):
out of your mouth, and the relief of sincerity to
be sincere and earnest. Instead I ended up some little
clown tap dancing on the stage. You know, just how
about this little trick? You know? Um? But maybe next life, Martha, UM.
(50:36):
I identify a lot with that. I also feel like
if Scooter braun Like, if he googles his name and
podcasts and listens to this, I would ask that he
considered taking us on as like a pop duo. And
even though we don't have singing voices, naturally, they can
(50:57):
do stuff with computers and make it sound better. So
think about it, Martha, what a proposal you have made
me the happiest woman alive. Oh my God, to be
to be invited, to be considered to be in a
pop duo with Martha Kelly of Torrance, Austin, Texas. My
(51:22):
week has been made. Ladies and gentlemen. It does not
get higher than this, pal. I'm soaring right now. I
can't wait until we're I can't think of another pop duo,
but I know there have been some, and I can't
wait until we're right up there in the in the
(51:42):
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Yeah, you know what
I think people would say about us too. Instead, when
they think, oh, Martha Kelly Barsaki pop duo, they would
never say an unlikely pair. They would say a likely pair. Yes,
we united by our love of pizza, our inability to sing,
(52:04):
and our willingness to sing anyway. Yeah, and the extreme
sensitivity um too many things, which you know, it's like
sometimes I'm like, yes, it does make me feel like
it's difficult to move through the world. But then also
I'm like, it makes only equal people are like that.
(52:26):
Most people can just go through anything like um, like
a large steamrolling truck, you know, yes, and I can't.
I wish. I kind of envy people who are who
are just steamrolling trucks and don't have a melt down
every five minutes like I do. When times are you know,
(52:47):
when we're when the world is oh yeah, which I
guess it's never not really us. Just how much you
can ingest which we are dressing so much all the time,
even uh, you know, reflexively without even it being an
intentional thing. The amount we absorbed is just unreal. The
(53:11):
like what they say compared to you know, years ago,
Like how much information we take in per second is
just mind blowing. It's too much. I've been trying to
stay off social media because when things when there's a crisis, um,
Twitter especially seems like a place where all the people
(53:31):
who have anxiety anyway get on there to be together
to say, oh my god, are you scared. I'm terrifying.
Other people go yeah, I'm terrified too, and is this
the end of the world? And that and that's that's
doesn't help the people in Ukraine. For twenty of us
with anxiety to call our therapists and say I can't sleep. Yes,
(53:57):
oh my god, I know because you know alsto, it's
just like being on there in the social media besides,
like sharing you know, places to donate is really not
productive and can be uh sort of like cutting sometimes
emotional gutting. I do. I have had I found myself
(54:19):
doing the same thing where I delete the app from
my phone during the day when I'm like it's too much.
I do like I do think there for sure there
I think that the what's happening in Ukraine that um,
the social media coverage of it is actually uh a
(54:40):
positive for how the world has responded. Like if totally yeah,
if it had all been done in secret, I don't
know that that the your opinionion and stuff would be
everybody would be ganging up on Russia. But but for
people with anxiety who are not involved in the government,
it or military, to just go on there and have
(55:03):
them melt them, which is that's all I do. Sometimes
I just decided the past couple of days, I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna. I'm not helping anybody that way. Um,
I'm also not helping anybody period, and I deserve to
be canceled. Let's do it. You did not deserve to
(55:25):
be canceled. I actually always love your social media because
I can like feel into and I always relate and um,
but you know what will help everyone that it will
probably be the biggest help is when we come out
with our poptua. So we do need scooda bron to
listen to this podcast. If anyone, uh probably one of
my listeners is an intimate close friend of his, can
(55:48):
pass it along, let him know the ideas that we're
working with that we can skyrocket uh this thing. We
can really get it going fired up. Yeah, I know
we can do it, and we can do we can
do appearances at the Rock and Roll Ralphs. It's just
up the street from me. Oh perfect, that's Oh that's
(56:10):
already a great idea. See you were fully things are
really rolling already. Um okay, So I do have to
ask you our last question. Um by none other than
Lucien Wiggles. The Chipmunks have made multiple appearances on ads
for food safety to help kids learn safe food practices.
Do you think it's appropriate for the chipmunks to tell
(56:32):
kids that eating acorns off the ground or from a
tree is safe? If so, why do you think this
is okay, Martha. Um, God, this is tough because, on
the one hand, I think absolutely it is not safe
for human children to eat acorns off the ground or
(56:53):
from a tree. Either way, it's I think it's dangerous.
I think we're supposed to eat acorns. What I do know,
like from what I from what we know about Alvin
Simon and Theodore from all the documentaries about them, they
are they have only good intentions, and I wouldn't want
(57:17):
to exclude them from being like doing humanitarian stuff, like
telling kids about food safety. But yeah, I don't know
what the answer is, because they they could, I mean,
they could tell people how to safely eat cheese balls,
because that thing. They can cross the divide that way,
I guess. Yeah. See, now there's a pitch for the
(57:38):
food safety people. How about we pivot from acorns to cheeseballs. Yeah,
cheese balls and fredachini alfredo. There's nothing better with chicken
and mushrooms. Come on, my god, kill me God. Oh,
(57:58):
if you know, Martha, what I want is for to
marry a man who makes me fetching out fredo with
mushrooms and chicken. And he's always like and he always says,
I need to fatten you up when he serves it
to me. You know, yeah, that sounds like a dream husband.
Yeah yeah, if you can, if you can find a
(58:20):
partner who can cook, I think those people are very
fortunate to I mean, obviously, you can't make yourself fall
in love with a guy just because he's a good cook.
But you can hope not the guy that you fall
in love with is a gifted chef. Sure that is
a hope for me while. And you know, I do
think when I'm putting a lot of this out into
(58:43):
the universe through this podcast, and I really didn't realize
that that would be a part of this medium before
I started, is that I'm putting a lot of these things,
setting them free out into the universe, hoping that these
ideas come back to me crystallized. Yeah. Well, I mean
I hope so too. And I don't know that. I
(59:04):
don't know that I want to ever get married, but
um yeah, I would love to fall in love with
a sweet guy who can cook, right, I don't we
don't have to get married. Also, we don't have to
live together. I kind of my privacy. But because you
need a dance in in private, yeah, and I just
(59:25):
think at this point, I don't know that I could
live with someone, but gosh, I hope there's a guy
out there who can cook, who I can fall in
love with, who's sweet, and who will drop us off
at the rock and roll routes for live personal appearances
as a as a singing duo. Martha, what if we
married brothers? I love cooking? That would be great. They
(59:47):
would have to be like probably brothers from uh one
man's multiple marriages because of our age difference. Although I
think my dad he was the second Tiangus of Ninkas
and his oldest sister was like fifteen years older. So
(01:00:08):
oh see it's perfect. It's no, I'm actually I'm more
than that. Yeah, we they would have to be two
different fans. How brothers who could cook? Great? Oh, that
would be so great. A lot of dreams happening on
this podcast. Wow, that was a hell of an interview,
(01:00:30):
hell of a letter, hell of a guess. I just
have one segment left, and that's called a fan on
the street. Tree Tree, And you know, I know you
are a very famous woman in Hollywood, so it's much
(01:00:51):
different for you asking you a fun celebrity encounter. Maybe
a nice little anecdote for our listeners. Um, you probably
have way too many to think of, but if you
had one, you wanted to share a fun one. Um,
I'll tell you one from from two thousand three. Okay,
I went to a comedian's birthday party at a bar
(01:01:14):
in Hollywood, and uh, and I wasn't friends with her,
but I went with my friend was friends with her.
So there was a few famous people there. And when
it was over and we were standing outside talking before
going to our cars, I noticed Paul Rudd, who was
just had been there, I guess, and he was standing
(01:01:35):
waiting for the vallet to bring his car, and um,
it was raining, so I had a hooded jacket on
and put up so I think that I probably looked
like one of them, he walks. I just looked like
one of the little Star Wars creatures that has that
(01:01:56):
wears a robe in a hood And I couldn't resist
because I was a little drunk. So I went up
to him and said, um, I'm a big fan of yours.
I think you're so great, and he smiled really big
and said thank you. That's so nice. And I walked
away and I was like, what a lovely gentleman he was,
(01:02:19):
and also lovely of you to say that and take
the time or say that in the rain. But it
is nice, like because I do think of Paul Rodd
as having that very kind, warm energy, and it is
nice when you hear stories that are firmed those things.
He definitely seemed like a very sweet, humble person. And
I'm I love to judge people harshly, so um yeah,
(01:02:45):
I was certainly would. I'm sure there's been famous people
I've tried to compliment in like a comedy club or
something who were like too cool, But I don't remember specifics.
So why did I bring it up? Blur? We're bring
it up if I don't have a store to fall now?
You did, I asked you? You gave a great one
(01:03:06):
for a fan on the street. Dear own Wilson Exclusive, Martha, Kelly,
Paul Rod incredible. Um, well, we've cash we've reached the
end of our program and I just can't reiterate enough
how grateful and what fun, what a heart enlarging experiences
us to reconnect with you, and I you know, I
(01:03:29):
hope that now that this thing is sort of evening
out a little bit, that we'll get to see each
other again too. Me too. It's been really great to
see you, and I'm really glad that I got to
come on and do this, So thank you all right bye,
thanks bye,
Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Dear
Owen Wilson. I just want to tell you, guys, I
am having the time of my life reporting this podcast
for you guys. It's just been so fun and thank
you all so much for listening. Today's episode so exciting.
I have my dear friend Martha Kelly on. You know
(00:23):
her from Baskets, you know her from this current season
of Hacks Euphoria Comedy Central. She's all over the play.
She's incredible marriage story, She's everywhere. Uh. Martha is so
funny and just such a lovely person. It was just
such a great excuse to catch up with her and
see her. So thank you for that, because you guys
(00:44):
are making that possible for me. And right now, I
guess the only thing I have to tell you about
is I'll be on tour this summer with Ron Funcies.
So look at Ron funcces dot com to see if
I'm coming to your city because I would love to
see you. That's going to be really fun and um yeah, lastly,
please rate the podcast, take a check in, give me
(01:07):
a five star reviews so I can keep this baby
going for you. I think I have some reviews but
I thought I'd have thousands of now, So yeah, just
if you could take a second out of your day,
that would be amazing. And you have no idea how
much it means to me. I'm loving all the feedback
your guys, d M, your emails. It's just so much
(01:27):
fun um to hear how you guys feel about the pod,
what you like about it, your tweets. I just really
appreciate it so much and I'm really grateful. Uh still
keep it up because I love it. It makes me
happy and this is just so much fun. And I
hope you guys have a great week and enjoy this
(01:48):
episode with Martha Kelly. Thank you so much. Hello one,
and then welcome back to another edition of the Dear
O in Wilson Podcast with your host Blair Saki. You guys,
(02:10):
do I have a treat for you? Do I have
a treat for me? Really, this is a treat for me.
I have a guest today. The most sought after woman
in Hollywood, the crown jewel of the town of my heart,
(02:31):
the penultimate talent in this god forsaken business, The one
person I admire, the one person I dream about sprending
my time with, is here and now please give me
the pleasure of introducing my friend Martha Kelly. Everybody. Hey, um,
(03:06):
thank you for that amazing introduction, Blair. I appreciate it.
Probably probably not going to live up to even half
of it, but I appreciate it. I knew you were
gonna say that. But I have this hunch, Martha, that
you don't do a lot of podcasts. So just the
(03:27):
actual gratitude I feel in this moment is deep and overflowing. Well, um,
full disclosure, I do do a fair amount of podcasts,
but even if I but even if I didn't, I
would still want to do this. I mean I do
maybe one every couple of months. Oh okay, so but
(03:51):
I did one earlier this week, but no, I would
do yours anyway. Wow, that's so nice. Uh recently this
podcast hasn't even uh, well I should it will be
launched by the time this comes out. But yeah, I
never really saw myself having a podcast, and now I
have one, and I'm enjoying it so deeply because really,
(04:15):
what it is I'm connecting in a spiritual way with
my loved ones that I don't get to see that often.
That's really nice. I my dream is to think of
an idea for a podcast and just make a have
it be a hit, and then make a living with
a hip podcast. But so far as zero ideas, I
(04:39):
know that it's on its way. But yeah, I know
I do the wish for both of us that we
could be extremely uh rich from podcast. Sort of we
could be like Joe Rogans, but in a different way.
You know, maybe two hundred mille mill come our way
from our podcast. I will love that. I welcome it,
(05:01):
and I'm willing. I'm definitely willing to become an mm
A fighter if that would help. I wouldn't do well,
but I'm willing to try it. WHOA, that's crazy, Martha.
Imagine you as an m m A fighter. It's not
something that had crossed my mind. I really find U
m m A to be sort of this Roman times
(05:24):
thing that I can't believe is existing, uh in current
day the zeitgeist, because I see that and it looks
so barbaric, like their faces there's so much blood, and yeah, yeah,
I can't. I don't watch Jenny. I don't watch it.
I don't watch regular boxing. I can't handle it. But
(05:44):
I'm not picturing myself as an m M a fighter
as as someone who actually has matches. I just I
would get um, I'd work out a lot like Joe
Rogan and not be totally must alert. But um, this
this actually, now that I'm saying it out loud, this
(06:06):
is a terrible idea happen. Okay, Well, you know, sometimes
these hits come to us and you know, and we
have to pivot change direction. But we don't really know
what the future lies ahead for us. All I know,
I feel like you and I share this between us,
A sensitivity. I, you know, cannot involve myself with any
(06:31):
violence or any sort of anxiety inducing things like TV
situations like that. Is that true for you? Also? Yeah,
I don't. I like I've I wanted to watch The
Sopranos because I know it's great and I love Tony Soprano,
(06:51):
the actor that's not his real names Gandolfini. Um, but
I started with episode one and it's so violent, how
way through that as I can't watch it. It's so
funny that you say that, because I felt like that
for years and then I had a breakup in eighteen.
I was really feeling uh down and dark, and I thought,
(07:14):
you know what today's to day, we're going to fire
it up. I'll watched the whole series in three weeks.
It was just what I needed at the time. Uh yeah,
I'm sick. I binged it in a sort of addictive way.
But I I think I would not have been able
to watch it outside of that specific moment in time. Yeah.
(07:35):
I might try it again at some point, but also like,
I can't watch Succession because the emotional destruction that the
to I can't. I did love, and still love and
have rewatched the TV series Hannibal, but and there and
it's about a serial killer and he does really bloody murders,
(07:59):
but the way they shoot it is like, uh, it
doesn't feel real. It feels it feels very stylized and
like almost like a magazine layout. So it's not the
same as watching The Sopranos, where I just remember they
like they drove that, they drove a car onto a
(08:19):
sidewalk and just beat a guy up, and I can't. Yeah,
I totally understand. You know, it's interesting, Martha. I heard,
I think honestly from Twitter trending moments, that you are
lighting up the hit show Euphoria on HBL. Is that true?
(08:41):
Um did you say lighting up Martha, that's not the
point that that's not the word that I wanted you
to pick out. But yes, that's what I said. Um.
I I would describe it as bringing a monotone to
(09:02):
to scenes that where everyone else is actually doing a
lot of intense emotional acting. And then my character, as
always any time I get an acting job, my character
is like, hey, guys, what's going on? And uh yeah, yeah,
but that's cool as hell because you know, your character
(09:23):
is very needed in the world. I need that person
in Boy, do you fill it beautifully. I wanted to
watch you for you because all my friends are obsessed
with it. Say, it's like one of the best shows
on television. I try to watch the first episode. I
couldn't get through it because I had way too much anxiety.
I had to stop there. Yeah, it is very uh um.
(09:45):
I actually reading one of the scripts for the second
season I did, it was really uh stressful. Until I
got to the end of it. I definitely thought something
worse was going to happen to Rue than what happens,
which is already bad. Um. It is a stressful show,
(10:06):
but it is a great show, and I guess uh,
I guess I just assume that no one's gonna die
on it. Yeah, well, because I need maybe I should
try it again, because truly, everyone I know is so
into it, and I'm like, I love to, you know,
(10:27):
partake in a great television show. I feel there's a
lot of joy there, but god, it gave me a
lot of anxiety because I'm very sensitive woman. It's yeah,
and there there's at least one episode in season one
where there's a guy beating up another guy that it's
I wish i'd never watched that, and I would when
(10:48):
I would fast forward through it, and I would tell
other people to fast forward to it because it's it's
really disturbing. It's different than a regular fight scene in
a movie or a TV show. It's just horribly disturbing.
All right, Well, mental note in case I ever find
the shrink deep within the abyss of myself to start
(11:09):
over again on season one. Yeah. Okay, Well, Martha, look,
you know I've already said I'm your biggest fan on
the planet Earth, and now if you could do me
and the show the honor of reading your letter, it
would be my honor and thank you for having me.
(11:30):
Let me look over here at this other window, and okay,
this is my fan letter, and it's uh, it's let's see,
it's about one in a quarter pages, So here we go.
Dear Alvin, Simon and Theodore. We've never met, but I
(11:52):
am probably your biggest fan. I've seen all your movies
and I'm hoping the next one is a concert film.
Not to tell yeah your business, but it worked wonders
for Katie Perry's career. Just sing while you, guys moll
that over. I wanted to ask you a few questions
about your existing movies. In two thousand and sevens Alvin
(12:14):
and the Chipmunks, when you guys first meet Dave Saville,
did it bother you that he called you unnatural and
somewhat evil for being talking chipmunks and then kicked you
out of his house, only to turn around and invite
you back in an hour later after hearing you sing.
I can't imagine it was easy to trust him after that.
(12:37):
You have to wonder is he really your friend or
did your three part harmonies just make him see dollar
dollar bills? Speaking of mad, how did you guys feel
in the Squeak wol when Dave and rolled you in
the local high school. On the one hand, I'm sure
it was exciting for Alvin to make the varsity football
(12:58):
team and score the winning touchdown in the big game,
but it wasn't fair to Theodore, who was way out
of his stepth academically, or Simon, who was ruthlessly bullied
by the jocks simply for asking them not to litter.
I mean, come on, overall, I thought chip Wrecked was
(13:18):
a great film, but there's one part I don't understand.
When those three women insult the chip bets and challenge
them to a dance off on the Lito deck, why
aren't they thrown overboard when they lose. I know that
sounds harsh, but they started that ship, so they would
have had no one to blame but themselves. Finally, this
(13:42):
question is just for Alvin and Simon in the road Chip,
when Theodore gets hit by a car and everyone thinks
he's dead. Be honest, was there any part of you
that would have been glad to only have to split
your profits two ways from now on? I have a
lot more questions, but we'll save them from when we
(14:05):
hopefully meet in person one day. Thank you for being
the greatest pop group of all time. Love Martha, Oh Martha,
Oh my god. Wow, what an exquisite letter full of
hearts and details and whimsy. Incredible. Thank you, thank you, Wow,
(14:29):
thank you. Blair Tho. Well, as you know, as you
are familiar from having done the live show the pop
cult Hit. Now is the portion of when we delve
into the hard hitting interview. And yes, and I know
you're familiar, and you're going to be doing great, and
(14:51):
I think you remember that my private detective, Lucian Wiggles
ultimately helps me a lot with my research and questions.
So just keep out in mind, you know, not all
of these are from me, he writes, a lot of them. Um, okay,
let's get started. So Lucien has been working his ass off,
(15:11):
and he told me that Alvin Simon and Theodore's mother, Vinnie,
is a similarly anthropomorphic chipmunk living in a nearby forest.
One year, particularly harsh winter had caused a nut shortage,
and the forest dwellers were barely able to forge enough
fly for themselves. Vinnie realized that her newborn children would
(15:34):
likely not survive the winter, and so I was forced
to get them up. She anonymously left them on Dave's doorstep,
as she had earlier seen him treating forest creatures kindly.
She did return a couple of years later, but had
seen that they were happy in their new life with
Dave and decided to leave things as they are. Jeez,
sounds like me and my ex boyfriend. Just kidding. He's
(15:56):
a YouTube star. Have you, Martha, ever selflessly left anything
behind for the greater good? Let me think it's hard.
It's actually hard for me to concentrate on remembering if
I have because of the fact that I'm concerned that
Lucian was scammed by this woman Vinny. Um, because that
(16:23):
is it's documented in the first movie that that is
not at all how they meet Dave. Yeah, luis wrong, Well,
Lucien's probably not wrong. It sounds like this chipmunk Vinny
scammed him and just came out of nowhere and claimed
to be their mom, which you know, Uh, that's not
(16:46):
how they got to Dave's house, and it's actually please
tell us, please tell us in aligness with the true story.
So how they got there is that they were living
in a tree in the Sierra and Nevada Mountains and
some guys cut the tree down to use it as
a Christmas tree in a fancy lobby of a recording
(17:11):
uh studio, a record company, and the day that it
arrived was also the day that Dave Seville was pitching
his most recent song to a record producer. And on
Dave's way out of the building, the chipmunks just jumped
(17:31):
into a basket he was carrying. Yeah, and it was
a basket full of muffins. So it was a good
It was just a good, a lucky break. They caught
for food that day. But they that's how they ended up.
He took them home. He didn't know they were in there,
and then I don't want to go too far into it,
(17:53):
but that's how they got into his house the first time. Wow. Okay, well,
thank you for clearing up that organ story. We do
need to get the lower correct on this podcast. I'm
not quite sure where this false story of Theodore's mother
Vinny happened or that tragic story. Um, We're gonna have
to get to the bottom of that later offline. Um. Okay, well,
(18:19):
so have you left anything behind for the greatest good?
And follow up question, how do you think this relates
to gen Z chipmunks today? Okay, so I've never left
behind any any animals, any living things. Um, I don't
(18:40):
know that I've ever left anything behind that I would
say worked for the greater good. I've moved out of
places I've lived at the drop of a hat and
left like dishes and stuff behind. Oh that's good. Clear
the energy. You know, you don't need it any more,
sever ties, let it go, Yeah, and let it and
(19:04):
then people can people get free dishes. But I don't
know if it might be a stretch to say that
was for the greater good. I can't really nothing comes
to mind. Um. As far as gen Z chipmunks, they've
certainly got a lot to deal with, but they seem
to have a pretty good attitude about life. Yeah, I don't.
(19:29):
I think that if they went to a high school
the way Alvin Simon and Theodore did that they would
gen Z is maybe not as inclined to bully people.
They probably have a better time. I like that. I
do like that about gen d um their lives bullying,
and I like their crop tops and um, you know,
(19:51):
they seem to have a compassionate view of the world. Yeah,
I do like that too. I hope that they under
stand that people from Generation X, which is my generation,
we cannot at this point switch over into having confidence
and self esteem the way that they do. And I
(20:16):
hope they understand we're not against it. We just can't.
It's too late for us, but we're happy for them.
Oh sure, yeah, So you just don't want to be
held to their standard of self confidence and and they
shouldn't be holding you to that. They should just enjoy
their self confidence in their nineteen year old self. Yeah,
(20:39):
and know that they have our blessing that that we can't.
I can't be I cannot be propagandized into having confidence. Okay, good,
I love that powerful. Stay rooted in your truth, Martha. Okay, wow,
(21:07):
this is a shrewd interview if I have ever heard one. Um. Okay, Martha,
let's get to the hard hitting questions. Fuck Mary Kaile,
Alvin Simon, Theodore, or Jeremy Piven. And again, it is
a Thursday in March, Martha, so please keep that in
mind with your answer. Okay, So I don't remember Jeremy
(21:30):
Piven in any of the Chipmunks movies, but I don't
think he is so I know this is an a
fair answer, but I would fuck Mary and kill Jeremy Piven.
None of the Chipmunks their children, so that is problematic.
(21:51):
I could not do that to any of them, but
I would if I mean, yeah, I would. I would
preferably the order would be married Jeremy Piven and then
kill him while fucking him. That's terrible. I'm sorry. Oh
(22:12):
my god, Dear Owen Wilson Exclusive, everybody Wilson Exclusive. You
heard it here first, a hard hitting answer by Martha
Kelly in the Alvin and the chip Bunks podcast. Wow.
That was a good answer, and you know, a lot
(22:33):
of people could have been tripped up by that question,
but not you. And that's what I like about you.
You said grounded in your principles, and you said I'm
not working, I'm not married, and I'm not killing any children.
Yeah I can't. I do think I deserve to be
canceled for being mean about Jeremy Piven, who have never
met and has I have no reason to be Martha,
(22:56):
you cannot. I've never met him either. I I'm not
saying anything about Jeremy. You know, I think if he
heard this podcast and he did understand the scenario, that
he would also be okay with you naming him. Should
he not be a complete monster and choose to sacrifice
children over himself. So I think that you're really safe here.
(23:19):
But I do think it's funny that you feel you
deserve to be canceled. Also, well, we will all get
canceled sooner or later, and it seems like when you do,
you start making more money, so I'm kind of hoping
it happens soon. Yeah, I think we will also be canceled.
I do UM agree with you, because you know it's
(23:41):
just gotten so crazy, But hopefully we will be able
to be doing arenas after that. Although I do have
to say I noticed all these um, these men that
are canceled doing arenas. Um, I haven't seen any canceled
women doing arenas. Maybe we can be the ones, Maybe
(24:04):
we can be the ones to break through. I don't
think that the UM in general. I don't think people
who've gotten canceled we're wrongly canceled. And I also think
if I were to get canceled, it would I would
deserve it. But it does seem uncanny that those guys
(24:25):
that have been canceled make hundreds of millions of dollars
after being canceled. Sure, sure you it is an unlikely uh,
end result of the canceling you. It's surprising you just
don't think it's gonna end that way, But who can know?
Who can know? Um? Okay, Martha, moving on? Sorry, No,
(24:49):
that's okay. It's important for when you and I get canceled.
Um okay, Martha, which monk would you say you most
closely identify with? Um? That's easy. A Theodore. He his
first love is every kind of empty carb that he
(25:10):
can get his little hands on. And that's exactly how
I feel. I can't. I don't eat the fun foods
anymore because I couldn't be reasonable about it. But I
still love them, and I support Theodore. And anyone who
just eats cakes and chips and candies and cheeseballs is
(25:31):
a big hit. Um. I love a cheeseball, do I? Ever?
That is heaven on earth. Yeah, I get what you're saying.
I love when people are like that too, because it
seems to be a conscious choice just to pursue the
jois da vivra, you know, to really suck out all
(25:53):
the morsels of lusciousness in this earthly life. And you know,
you and I are in this town of Hollywood, a tinseltown,
as they say, and we are just compressed and forced
and under all this pressure to be in these skeletal bodies.
(26:14):
And I don't have a skeletal body. You know you've
been though I don't. I don't have a skeletal body. Um,
although I hope one day to to just be a
just an absolute bag of bones walking around. Um. But
I do feel like when you're a kid, and when
(26:36):
you're in your twenties and thirties, um, you should treat
your body like a garbage can, because your body can
mounts back and that's a fun thing to do. When
you get to be my age, if you want to
have a quality of life as you can, you can't
do that, but you should absolutely take advantage of it
(26:58):
when you can, you know. Yeah. For me, it's like
I spend so much time, so much brain power just
dreaming about pizzas and pastas with cream sauce and nat shows.
I love a fully loaded nacho. These are the things
(27:21):
that I dream about that I feel more passionate about
than like doing activities or travel or these things. It's
like food is what brings the joy for me. So
to think that I have to just eat a lot
of vegetables and protein shakes and stuff. Is very sad,
(27:43):
but I love that there are people out there committed
to the cause, like Theodore the Chimunk. He really is,
and in fact, in their latest movie, The Road Chip,
Theodore orders I think like fifty pizzas to be delivered. Yes,
it's heartwarming, and yeah, he's my He's the one I
would I identify with. But I feel like he and
(28:05):
I if we hung out, we would have a lot
of fun. Well one, I know anyone would have fun
with you, But I love a man a child ordering
fifty pizzas. Not only is that sort of just a
reckless pursuit of joy, but it's also welcoming others into
(28:25):
the into that joy as well. Yeah, he does include everybody.
And he also does some great dancing in that movie.
And right around the time the pizzas are being delivered.
And you're too young to remember this, but there was
a show in the late seventies called What's Happening and
a character named Rerun who was kind of similar to
(28:47):
Theodore did a thing called the Rerun Dance and it
was great as like breakdancing, and Theodore does that in
The Road Tip, so a lot of reasons to love
that guy, you know. Oh yeah, everyone loves a good dancer,
and it makes sense. That's sort of that pursuit of
(29:09):
pleasure in the food. Uh, you know, ties into the
freeness of a dancer. No, Martha, do you also enjoy dancing?
Is that something that you do in your life? Um?
Sometimes I do it, uh for exercise at home. Absolutely
never going to do it in front of other people. Again,
(29:31):
I did a little when I was like drunk in college.
We in the early nineties, going to like a club.
It was fun, but like, uh, yeah, I don't. I
don't need It's nobody's business how badly I dance. It's
for me, and it's to be kept private. Okay, Yeah,
(29:52):
I understand. I like to dance myself. Sometimes I'll do
it in public, no problem, But other times I also
wanted just for me. Like for instance, before this podcast,
I uh had a pretty good dance session in my shower.
I got one of those JBL speakers that you see
(30:14):
all these people carrying around, those portable speakers that have
it a surprising amount of wattage on there. They get
going pretty good. I've turned one on in my shower,
having a great time. I was. You know, I did
have to be cognizant of not sleeping, sleeping, not sleeping
during my shower dance. No, not slipping, because that is
(30:37):
a risk of a shower dance. But I really I
was like, this feels good and that was a private scenario.
That's nice. Yeah, I like, Um, I have a U
E role from like four years ago. That's a little
speaker that has has a lot of punch. Huh Um.
I can't take the risk of dancing in the shower
(30:59):
because if I at this point, I just turned fifty
four last Wednesday. Happy birthday, Martha, thank you. It's been
a pleasure to just uh hit another milestone. But if
I were to fall at this age, I probably would
never get out of bed again. I'd probably be bedridden
(31:20):
for life. So no dancing the shower. Very very careful
in my movements. Sure you know, um, well, if I
could say so, I mean, while you look phenomenal, the grace,
the fatality just vibrating off of you, incredible. And I
(31:43):
must know, did you consume a carb on your birthday?
At least? Um? I mean I eat like ezekiel bread
and rice. I don't really eat the like the fun carps,
just because then that's all I want to eat. And
not even on a holiday, no, because then it would
make me uh want it more if I don't. Yeah,
(32:04):
if I don't eat it at all, I don't miss it.
If I try to have a little bit, it's I
can't um control it. Really, you're a stronger soldier than I. Uh,
I've had. I had a lot of years to just
do all you can eat, which I fully did and
(32:24):
no regrets. Right, Um, I actually have this practice. Uh.
Any listeners that have you know, maybe even following me
around for a while, know about this practice that I do.
It's uh I'll call it going to the spa and
that's where I shut the blinds and in my apartment
(32:47):
order a large pizza on a bottle of ranch and
eat it on my floor to completion. And that is
a practice that is actually really restorative to my soul.
But I can also only I do that about once
a month, so twelve times a year. It's my allotment.
That is a really fun spaw day. And yeah, when
(33:10):
I the first time I ever did like a real diet,
when I was like seventeen, I think or eighteen, after
a couple of weeks of it, I was home alone
and I ordered a Domino's pizza medium pepperoni, and I
ate the entire thing and like fifteen minutes, twenty minutes,
didn't feel sick. I just felt like, this is what
(33:32):
my body is built for. And I fucking loved it.
It's so funny that you say that, because that's the
exact response that I feel like every time I do it,
Like are aren't My My friends were like, don't you
feel gross or guilty after? And I'm like, no, bitch,
I'm over here eating the healthy, the greens, the dumbass
protein shakes, going out on my regular days. And then
(33:54):
I finally hit that one day and I said, oh,
I know what daddy needs. Daddy needs a spaw day today.
It's always on a Sunday, and I take it in.
Guess what the next day, Monday. Never felt better in
my life. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with doing that, and
there's a lot that's right about doing that, So I
(34:16):
support it. Yeah, you know, everything in moderation, including moderation.
As they say, Um, okay, Martha, Martha for zero dollars,
true our fault? Would you say? Alvin is Zach Efron
Simon is Tim Gunn and Theodore is Nick Jonas Or
would you say Alvin is Charlie Sheen and David Ron
(34:39):
Livingston and Ian is Kevin Spacey. Gosh, that's tough. Um
wait who is in the second scenario? Who is Alvin? Uh?
Charlie Sheen. I think Alvin is a little bit um
(35:02):
more grounded than Charlie Shane. But that's that trio is
more accurate than I think the first one. Kevin space Wait,
Kevin Spacey is Ian. Yeah, I think that's probably accurate,
although Kevin Kevin Spacey is no longer Kevin Spacey is
(35:23):
only Frank Underwood now, So yeah, I think. Um, although
I have in uh in Tchipwrecked Ian, the character takes
a turn for no, this is a spoiler alert. Ian
become has like a change of heart and becomes kind
of a good guy at the last minute. But you
(35:47):
wouldn't be Kevin Spacey. I guess, Okay, that's good. You
know you love to see Soul's evolution, you know, sort
of a feel good, happy ending. Yeah for sure. Um okay,
And so in the group's name changed from the Chipmunks
(36:08):
to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Why do you think Alvin
became the beyoncee of the group And do you think
in your heart that that was deserved? Um? I do
think it was deserved. And I think that Alvin, like
gen Z, just has a lot of confidence and high
(36:32):
self esteem. And to be honest, before I saw the
first Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, the two thousand seven one,
I thought Alvin was going to be obnoxious and annoying.
But he's, Oh my god, he's such a lovable guy.
He just he simply wants a family, and he and
(36:54):
Simon and Alvin and Theodore forced Dave Seville into having
them as a family. And it's, yeah, Alvin has a
great heart. He really, he's a good guy. He's just
got a lot of confidence and self esteem and occasionally
he's a little self centered, but but who wasn't at
his age? You know. Sure, that's a great thing to
(37:16):
remember and to show compassion to our past selves. Sometimes
I'll think about like an age I was and be like,
oh god, I was a monster then. But really, you know,
I like the perspective that you're approaching it from, like
reclaiming just you know, sometimes those ages were wild Yeah,
(37:38):
and when you're when you're an adolescent and in your
twenties and thirties, never mind, um I just when you're
when you're a kid, it's for sure, like, how do
you You haven't had enough life experience to always know
how to act. So hopefully the adults in your life
(38:02):
are kind about it, you know, because it's it's it's
tough being a kid, yeah, and sometimes you haven't had
enough falls on your face to know how to get
your needs met in the correct way all the time.
But Alvin sounds like he from your description anyways, a
(38:23):
very benevolent description that he was just bursting with charisma
in the way that pop stars uniquely are. Yeah, and
in the in the squeak coool he uh, as I
mentioned in my letter. He makes it onto the varsity
football team in high school, and there's a short lived
rift between him and Simon and Theodore because he gets
(38:47):
carried away with being a jock and he misses an
important concert they're supposed to do, and there's some hurt feelings,
but he realizes where he was wrong and he makes
it up to them and he's it's it's very sweet.
Oh that's great, you know, what you were just saying
brought to my mind. I wonder, do you think it's
(39:09):
possible that the Jonas Brothers, the their concept their self,
concept of their pop star group of brothers perhaps originated
or sparked from Alvin and the Chimunks. It's possible Um
(39:29):
and Hansen as well, which wasn't oh wow, yes over
earlier Rob, I have to say that, Um, the Jonas
Brothers are. I haven't heard a lot of their music,
and I mostly associate them with one of them having
(39:49):
broken Taylor Swift's heart, and uh sure know which one,
but I'm on her side. Whichever one it was, right,
I think I want to say it was Joe, but
maybe maybe it was Nick. I do think that Joe
is a hot one, although they all ended up marrying
like gorgeous women and doing very well. I will admit
(40:13):
to you, you, Martha, because you know I respect you
so dearly, that I did go see the Jonas Brothers
at the Hollywood Bowl with my mother in October of
nineteen for my birthday. That's exciting. Was it really fun?
(40:33):
It was really fun. They put on a great shell.
Everyone was like eighteen or twenty two or something there.
But I had never been to the Hollywood Bowl and
it was, you know, a fun thing with my mom.
We really enjoyed ourselves a gorgeous summer day with a
venue and they put on a show. Because what I
(40:54):
what made me think of it is, you know, they
had a big rift and quit making music for a
long time and then ended up coming back together. That's nice.
Yeah I am, they're not. I'll disclose this to you.
In two thousand two or two thousand three, me and
(41:15):
my twin sister went to see in Sinc at the
San Antonio fun Um. Yeah, I was thirty, in thirty
three or thirty four. Yeah, it was great. We were
like the only people that were just there with no
kids in their early thirties. Everybody else was apparent with
(41:39):
young kids and it was a really fun, fun concert. Yeah.
Those boy bands I don't really exist like that anymore,
where they were like dancing in matching configurations the whole time.
There was like five person boy band groups. It was
really a moment in time, a great moment. And Sink
(42:00):
fan in sinc Fan Martha, Wow, I never knew that
and also I didn't know Yeah twin sister, Yeah we are,
We're not identical or fraternal, But yeah, she visited. I
was living in Austin and she visited me and we
went there and it was super fun and uh, really
fun to go to a concert that's just the rest
(42:20):
of the audience as kids and parents, because you can
stand up and sang along and be an absolute dipshit
and there's no one to be embarrassed in front. Episode.
It's really fun. I love that. And Martha, do you
go back to Austin ever? Is that something you do
or Yeah? And until two thousand nineteen, early two thousand nineteen,
(42:45):
I was living there off and on, and I haven't
been since the pandemic started, but hopefully this within the
next six months or so, I'll get to visit there.
And yeah, it's a great city. It's um it's upsetting
the way the Texas government is governing that state is
(43:09):
pretty scary in a lot of ways, not just like
liberal political concerns, but just the energy grid and the
water treatment systems and stuff. I don't know what's going on,
but um, that's probably not that fun of podcast about
you know, we leave in and out about true life
(43:32):
in between our celebrity deep dive devotion and I know.
I was just thinking because I know you're from there,
and you're actually an Austin legend out of there, and
I'm going next week and I'm excited for south By Southwest.
That'll be really cool. I'm actually I hate to disagree
with you, blirt. I am neither a legend nor am
(43:54):
I from ust and I grew up in Torrents, California.
I mean, I know you're not from there, but you
are as a comedian are claimed by Austin often I
feel I do feel like I can. Yeah, why did
I pick this fight? For no reason? I didn't. I
do feel like an Austin comic just because I did.
(44:16):
I did live there so much while I stand up
and love it. And what's your vivid food to partake
in there? Are you still a healthy gal when you
go there? Um? When I lived there the last time,
I was mostly a potato and cheese and guacamole taco
probably yeah, and um and just a giant latte from Starbucks.
(44:42):
I was mostly a carbon fat diet, my favorite diet.
It's delicious. I think if I when I go there again,
like there's still like they have great Masican food and
uh yeah, there's a bunch of great taco places and stuff.
(45:03):
So yeah, all right, that's what I'm gonna get into.
Because I love Mexican food. I also love barbecue so much.
If you can, you should try to go to the
Salt Look Barbecue place. There's other ones, like I think,
is it maybe Franklin Barbecue is pretty famous, okay in town,
(45:25):
but um, the Salt Look in Pricewood Springs. I think
it's like forty minutes outside of Austin and it's amazing. Okay.
That's a good tip, dear On Willilson exclusive by Martha Kelly,
to go to the Salt Lick Barbecue outside of Austin.
(45:46):
And don't think I'm not writing this down crowd, okay,
because I am. And you can catch my ash at
the Salt Like barbecue place. M Okay. Moving on, I
(46:07):
do have to complete my questions. In the two thousand
seven feature film, as we stated before, their tree was
cut down, Carter off to grace the entrance lobby of
the City office building with them in it after being
thrown out Dave. After they wind up in Dave's home
(46:29):
and they recavic. Dave throws them out, but then he
notices how well they can sing, making him famous and
eventually wins his heart. I know we questioned investigated Dave's
motives before, but do you think in your opinion that
Dave was the original Scooter Braun? Okay, damn, I know
(46:54):
that named Scooter Braun, but I can't remember what Scooter
Braun is. Infamous manager of just Bieber and Ariana grund Day,
but he basically, you know, made Justin Bieber um and
it is a very prominent music manager. Um well, uh,
(47:15):
does Dave like him? I think that Dave is a
is a good hearted guy who who just tried to
He didn't He wasn't ready to be a dad when
they first came to his place, but they want him over,
which you know they would win anybody over. I don't
(47:36):
know if Scoot I don't know Scoot le Braun if
he has a good heart or not. I don't want
to say he doesn't because I don't know. I haven't
heard enough about him. Sure I do think that that
Justin Bieber. I don't I feel bad for anybody who
was a became famous when they were a kid or
an early teen, because it sucks everything up in your
(47:59):
head and there like you know, everybody knows, like there
are adults who get famous who it drives them and
say sure, sure, and it's too much to put on
a kid. I know what I'm saying. Yeah, I I
always think back, oh my god, if anyone was watching,
(48:21):
like when I was a kid growing up, it's just
to have everyone watching while you're growing up through being
a teen and all that on a global scale is
just way too much pressure for anyone. I watched that
Billie Eilish documentary. It sort of was crushing to my
heart to even watch it, to get through the hour
(48:41):
of the documentary because she's like nineteen or twenty or
eighteen or something, and of course I feel she's a
mega talent, but the the pressure on her and the
anxiety and all that is just wild. Yeah. I mean
when I was s edge, I was like, my priorities
(49:03):
were um, like pizza, hamburgers, ice cream, chocolate shakes. Getting
high were so similar. Smoking cigarettes was a lovely thing
to do when I was young. Don't do it anymore.
It just that seems like a lot for for a
kid to deal with. Sure, Yeah, pop star famous is
(49:26):
a whole other thing. I know that Chipmunks, how did
you deal with it and know all about it? But
you know, I'm thankful I'm not one of them. Although
I do wish deeply in my soul um in another
life after this one, that I will be able to sing.
I want to be able to sing so badly. But
I was not blessed without skill in this life. That's
(49:50):
another thing we have in common. I too, if I could,
if you could have any talent that you wanted, that's
the one I would pick to be. And that's absolutely
the one I would pick also. And I always think,
you know, if I was a singer, how the relief,
the sheer, deep relief to just let your gift flow
(50:14):
out of your mouth, and the relief of sincerity to
be sincere and earnest. Instead I ended up some little
clown tap dancing on the stage. You know, just how
about this little trick? You know? Um? But maybe next life, Martha, UM.
(50:36):
I identify a lot with that. I also feel like
if Scooter braun Like, if he googles his name and
podcasts and listens to this, I would ask that he
considered taking us on as like a pop duo. And
even though we don't have singing voices, naturally, they can
(50:57):
do stuff with computers and make it sound better. So
think about it, Martha, what a proposal you have made
me the happiest woman alive. Oh my God, to be
to be invited, to be considered to be in a
pop duo with Martha Kelly of Torrance, Austin, Texas. My
(51:22):
week has been made. Ladies and gentlemen. It does not
get higher than this, pal. I'm soaring right now. I
can't wait until we're I can't think of another pop duo,
but I know there have been some, and I can't
wait until we're right up there in the in the
(51:42):
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Yeah, you know what
I think people would say about us too. Instead, when
they think, oh, Martha Kelly Barsaki pop duo, they would
never say an unlikely pair. They would say a likely pair. Yes,
we united by our love of pizza, our inability to sing,
(52:04):
and our willingness to sing anyway. Yeah, and the extreme
sensitivity um too many things, which you know, it's like
sometimes I'm like, yes, it does make me feel like
it's difficult to move through the world. But then also
I'm like, it makes only equal people are like that.
(52:26):
Most people can just go through anything like um, like
a large steamrolling truck, you know, yes, and I can't.
I wish. I kind of envy people who are who
are just steamrolling trucks and don't have a melt down
every five minutes like I do. When times are you know,
(52:47):
when we're when the world is oh yeah, which I
guess it's never not really us. Just how much you
can ingest which we are dressing so much all the time,
even uh, you know, reflexively without even it being an
intentional thing. The amount we absorbed is just unreal. The
(53:11):
like what they say compared to you know, years ago,
Like how much information we take in per second is
just mind blowing. It's too much. I've been trying to
stay off social media because when things when there's a crisis, um,
Twitter especially seems like a place where all the people
(53:31):
who have anxiety anyway get on there to be together
to say, oh my god, are you scared. I'm terrifying.
Other people go yeah, I'm terrified too, and is this
the end of the world? And that and that's that's
doesn't help the people in Ukraine. For twenty of us
with anxiety to call our therapists and say I can't sleep. Yes,
(53:57):
oh my god, I know because you know alsto, it's
just like being on there in the social media besides,
like sharing you know, places to donate is really not
productive and can be uh sort of like cutting sometimes
emotional gutting. I do. I have had I found myself
(54:19):
doing the same thing where I delete the app from
my phone during the day when I'm like it's too much.
I do like I do think there for sure there
I think that the what's happening in Ukraine that um,
the social media coverage of it is actually uh a
(54:40):
positive for how the world has responded. Like if totally yeah,
if it had all been done in secret, I don't
know that that the your opinionion and stuff would be
everybody would be ganging up on Russia. But but for
people with anxiety who are not involved in the government,
it or military, to just go on there and have
(55:03):
them melt them, which is that's all I do. Sometimes
I just decided the past couple of days, I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna. I'm not helping anybody that way. Um,
I'm also not helping anybody period, and I deserve to
be canceled. Let's do it. You did not deserve to
(55:25):
be canceled. I actually always love your social media because
I can like feel into and I always relate and um,
but you know what will help everyone that it will
probably be the biggest help is when we come out
with our poptua. So we do need scooda bron to
listen to this podcast. If anyone, uh probably one of
my listeners is an intimate close friend of his, can
(55:48):
pass it along, let him know the ideas that we're
working with that we can skyrocket uh this thing. We
can really get it going fired up. Yeah, I know
we can do it, and we can do we can
do appearances at the Rock and Roll Ralphs. It's just
up the street from me. Oh perfect, that's Oh that's
(56:10):
already a great idea. See you were fully things are
really rolling already. Um okay, So I do have to
ask you our last question. Um by none other than
Lucien Wiggles. The Chipmunks have made multiple appearances on ads
for food safety to help kids learn safe food practices.
Do you think it's appropriate for the chipmunks to tell
(56:32):
kids that eating acorns off the ground or from a
tree is safe? If so, why do you think this
is okay, Martha. Um, God, this is tough because, on
the one hand, I think absolutely it is not safe
for human children to eat acorns off the ground or
(56:53):
from a tree. Either way, it's I think it's dangerous.
I think we're supposed to eat acorns. What I do know,
like from what I from what we know about Alvin
Simon and Theodore from all the documentaries about them, they
are they have only good intentions, and I wouldn't want
(57:17):
to exclude them from being like doing humanitarian stuff, like
telling kids about food safety. But yeah, I don't know
what the answer is, because they they could, I mean,
they could tell people how to safely eat cheese balls,
because that thing. They can cross the divide that way,
I guess. Yeah. See, now there's a pitch for the
(57:38):
food safety people. How about we pivot from acorns to cheeseballs. Yeah,
cheese balls and fredachini alfredo. There's nothing better with chicken
and mushrooms. Come on, my god, kill me God. Oh,
(57:58):
if you know, Martha, what I want is for to
marry a man who makes me fetching out fredo with
mushrooms and chicken. And he's always like and he always says,
I need to fatten you up when he serves it
to me. You know, yeah, that sounds like a dream husband.
Yeah yeah, if you can, if you can find a
(58:20):
partner who can cook, I think those people are very
fortunate to I mean, obviously, you can't make yourself fall
in love with a guy just because he's a good cook.
But you can hope not the guy that you fall
in love with is a gifted chef. Sure that is
a hope for me while. And you know, I do
think when I'm putting a lot of this out into
(58:43):
the universe through this podcast, and I really didn't realize
that that would be a part of this medium before
I started, is that I'm putting a lot of these things,
setting them free out into the universe, hoping that these
ideas come back to me crystallized. Yeah. Well, I mean
I hope so too. And I don't know that. I
(59:04):
don't know that I want to ever get married, but
um yeah, I would love to fall in love with
a sweet guy who can cook, right, I don't we
don't have to get married. Also, we don't have to
live together. I kind of my privacy. But because you
need a dance in in private, yeah, and I just
(59:25):
think at this point, I don't know that I could
live with someone, but gosh, I hope there's a guy
out there who can cook, who I can fall in
love with, who's sweet, and who will drop us off
at the rock and roll routes for live personal appearances
as a as a singing duo. Martha, what if we
married brothers? I love cooking? That would be great. They
(59:47):
would have to be like probably brothers from uh one
man's multiple marriages because of our age difference. Although I
think my dad he was the second Tiangus of Ninkas
and his oldest sister was like fifteen years older. So
(01:00:08):
oh see it's perfect. It's no, I'm actually I'm more
than that. Yeah, we they would have to be two
different fans. How brothers who could cook? Great? Oh, that
would be so great. A lot of dreams happening on
this podcast. Wow, that was a hell of an interview,
(01:00:30):
hell of a letter, hell of a guess. I just
have one segment left, and that's called a fan on
the street. Tree Tree, And you know, I know you
are a very famous woman in Hollywood, so it's much
(01:00:51):
different for you asking you a fun celebrity encounter. Maybe
a nice little anecdote for our listeners. Um, you probably
have way too many to think of, but if you
had one, you wanted to share a fun one. Um,
I'll tell you one from from two thousand three. Okay,
I went to a comedian's birthday party at a bar
(01:01:14):
in Hollywood, and uh, and I wasn't friends with her,
but I went with my friend was friends with her.
So there was a few famous people there. And when
it was over and we were standing outside talking before
going to our cars, I noticed Paul Rudd, who was
just had been there, I guess, and he was standing
(01:01:35):
waiting for the vallet to bring his car, and um,
it was raining, so I had a hooded jacket on
and put up so I think that I probably looked
like one of them, he walks. I just looked like
one of the little Star Wars creatures that has that
(01:01:56):
wears a robe in a hood And I couldn't resist
because I was a little drunk. So I went up
to him and said, um, I'm a big fan of yours.
I think you're so great, and he smiled really big
and said thank you. That's so nice. And I walked
away and I was like, what a lovely gentleman he was,
(01:02:19):
and also lovely of you to say that and take
the time or say that in the rain. But it
is nice, like because I do think of Paul Rodd
as having that very kind, warm energy, and it is
nice when you hear stories that are firmed those things.
He definitely seemed like a very sweet, humble person. And
I'm I love to judge people harshly, so um yeah,
(01:02:45):
I was certainly would. I'm sure there's been famous people
I've tried to compliment in like a comedy club or
something who were like too cool, But I don't remember specifics.
So why did I bring it up? Blur? We're bring
it up if I don't have a store to fall now?
You did, I asked you? You gave a great one
(01:03:06):
for a fan on the street. Dear own Wilson Exclusive, Martha, Kelly,
Paul Rod incredible. Um, well, we've cash we've reached the
end of our program and I just can't reiterate enough
how grateful and what fun, what a heart enlarging experiences
us to reconnect with you, and I you know, I
(01:03:29):
hope that now that this thing is sort of evening
out a little bit, that we'll get to see each
other again too. Me too. It's been really great to
see you, and I'm really glad that I got to
come on and do this, So thank you all right bye,
thanks bye,
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