May 16, 2022 • 55 mins
Blair welcomes Solomon Georgio (Conan, Comedy Central, The Juice podcast) to the show. He comes on to profess his love to a famous R&B legend.
Links:
- THIS WEDNESDAY - Blair Headlines The Irvine Improv, May 18th.
- Blair's LA show June 6th at The Elysian Theater (featuring Greta Titelman and Carmen Christopher)
- Blair's Online Breathwork Class May 26th
- Follow Blair on Instagram
- Follow Blair on Twitter
- Follow Solomon on Instagram
- The Juice Podcast
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you
guys to hear this episode. It was so funny had
me laughing my absolute ass off. My guest today is
my friend Solomon Georgio, hilarious man. You've seen him on Conan,
Comedy Central, HBO, and so many other places. He's a
(00:22):
writer on many of your favorite shows. And you need
to check out his new podcast called The Juice. It's
all about low steaks gossip. Join him each week as
he sources only the best everyday gossip from comedians, performers,
and listeners. You guys, new episode throughout every Thursday wherever
you get your podcasts, And for me, I will be
(00:46):
headlining the Irvine Improv Wednesday, May eighteen. Would love to
see you guys there. Please come out and see me.
It's gonna be so much fun. Also, as I said,
we'll be doing an hour of new material at the
Allegian Theater in l A on Monday, June six atn pm.
Ticket links for both of those shows will be in
(01:08):
the show notes of this podcast. Follow me at Blair
Saki on Twitter and Instagram, and please rate, subscribe, and
review this podcast if you want to be a really good,
supportive person that I love. Okay, everyone, thank you so
much and please enjoy this episode. Welcome to the Dear
(01:33):
Owen Wilson Podcast. I'm your host, you Blair Saki. It's
great to be with you guys again. As we get
this thing off the ground, I am going to be
reminding you the first few episodes what the show is about. Yes,
it is based on a real letter that I wrote
to Owen Wilson in two thousand seven telling him how
(01:54):
much I loved him. I do not know if you
received the letter. Only time will tell. I have every
intention of having him on this podcast, and I do
think that it will become a reality. But I have
made this podcast off my live show that I've had
for five years, where comedians come on read letters to
celebrities they love, and then I interview them as the
(02:17):
shrewd interviewer that I am. And do I have a
treat for you today because I picked the all stars
of the live show to come in hot at the
beginning of this podcast. And this guy, he's an incredible comedian,
very famous, a motherfucking producer on all your favorite shows.
(02:38):
I'm so happy to have him. Please welcome my friend Solomon,
Georgia Solomon, thank you so much for coming on today
to really good. Is that fresh? Um? Yeah up, yeah, yeah,
(03:05):
it's it's looking very fresh. How are you. I'm good,
just hanging out in my house with my wigs. You're
gorgeous house. You're gorgeous room of wigs. I'm pleased that
I got to see it. Yeah, I got more. Yeah,
your collection is growing by the day. That's what I'm
going for. You really have a great hobby going there
(03:27):
in your gorgeous house. Yes, well, they're they're going to
get my inheritance. They're gonna they're they're the only thing
my will are the wigs. Yeah, but I mean that's
gonna be a hell of a will to receive for someone. Wow,
they're lucky. The wigs are getting this stuff. People. My
(03:50):
bad might stay I misunderstood that makes sense of course. Um, okay,
well I'm just gonna have you start off and then
we're gonna get into Yeah, I'll read my letter. Um,
dear Mayor J. Blige. Very few people get to say
they are Mayor J. Blige. As a matter of fact,
only one Perkinson can say they are may J Blige,
(04:10):
and that is you. Mary J. Blige. I love saying
your name. It's the top ten best names in the
history of names. It's almost like you were destined to
be one of the greatest R and B singers of
all time. You also practically invented high heeled boots. I
know they existed before you were born, but you invented them.
And after seeing the Super Bowl, my eyes swelled with tears.
I was just so happy to see you stopping on
(04:31):
in those boots, seeing your heart out, whipping all thirty
inches of that perfect hair. I'm not going to mention
your age like other so called fans, because you are ageless,
and it always makes me smile to see you perform
and you're acting. It's better with every project. You were great.
Dina Washington in respect, and you should have gotten the
Oscar for mud Bound. You might say, what is the
point of this letter? There is no point. I just
(04:51):
like to say, just like you so much, and hope
you never stopped doing what you do best or doing
whatever you want. Thank you for everything you've done. Thank
you for telling us to fine real love. Thank you
for always giving us the four one one. Thank you
for letting us know you you're doing just fine, and
thank you for single handedly stopping all the hate rations
in the danceries. You are a goddess and an icon
(05:13):
and everybody would be much better person if they had
a little Mary John will bless Solomon Georgia. I think
I shd a motherfucking tier on that one. Wow. Wow. Yes,
and how timely after the super Bowl. Really, it's it's great.
Really should have been the only headliner. Honestly, as far
(05:33):
as I'm concerned, As far as if you're asking me,
Mary Blige is good enough for a whole half time show, Yeah, no,
I completely agree. Well, Solomon, it's so great to have
you back. Uh. Yeah, You've done the show multiple times,
always been a hit, the crowd favorite. Solomon. Mary J.
(05:55):
Blige has been called the Queen of hip hop soul.
Do you think souls exist? And if so, how would
you explain your souls behavior? Good question. I do believe
souls exist. Uh, the question is do I have only
one soul? I don't think so. I feel like I
(06:16):
feel like I've been stealing souls left and right since
I was a child, and I think that's only fair.
I feel like people aren't a lot of people, aren't
you think their souls very well, and I just like
taking in as many as possible. Wow, So you sort
of have like a Baltimore thing. Um do you do
you put people the souls that you steal into you know,
(06:40):
objects around the house or what do you do with them? Exactly?
First of all, stealing is and that's not the case.
They just go with me. They're done with their person.
I'm they see me and they're like, you know what,
I'm done with this person. I'll follow Solomon home and
they just hang out and about like I feel like,
(07:01):
I feel like there's just like a few things they
like to Like. My weights for sure have several souls.
So whenever I like work out, like I bring like
soul cycle. That's what I'm doing. Okay, So, if I'm
hearing you correctly, I misspoke. You're not stealing any souls.
(07:22):
What's happening is the souls are going freely on their
free wild they see you, they get a little taste
of the soul dog, and they said that's the direction
I'm going, Like, I'm gonna go follow Solo. Man. Yes,
your soul is just like this bright, beaming, pulsing light
(07:48):
that the other souls can't resist. Yes, exactly, And they said,
I'm going home with the man with the roof ale wigs.
Yeah it makes sense. There's no like the logically it
makes sense to them. Can I get it? And I'm
not deny them to like they should follow me. It's
the best best place to live the best place to be.
And honestly, I have really good snacks that always helps. Yeah. Yeah, well,
(08:14):
oh my god, I'm just so glad I got you
on the podcast because like that is something that I
actually needed to learn yesterday. Um about the souls, the snacks,
the whole thing. Solomon. Okay, so Solomon according to my
private detective Lucien Wiggles, And if you're just tuning into
the show, I will remind our new and emerging, um
(08:37):
but rabid audience that Lucien Wiggles is indeed my private
investigator and dear friend, although he does not call me
his friend back that I met in the current river
while fishing for craw dats. Anyway, it's not that you're
all caught up again. Lucian did tell me Mary is
known for wanting no more drama. Please describe Solomon in
(09:00):
extreme detail why you love drama so much and you
think that Mary, would I have to say about this? Um,
I feel like, you know what, sometimes you do things
that makes your heroes disappointed, and that's fine, that's fine,
and you know what, you can't have all these souls
with no drama. And that's just the way it is, right,
(09:22):
it's the test that I took on. I'm hoping she
never finds out about this. Yeah, um, because yeah, my
life is is drama filled. Like this morning, I, Um,
I made coffee, you did, and I could have just
made regular coffee, but I made an espresso. And honestly,
that's way too dramatic, Like it's it's just too much drama. Wow,
(09:48):
an espresso this morning. You're doing a lot. It's really,
it was a lot. It was a lot, and honestly
it wasn't even this morning, it was like noon. I
really that's like I I went out, I went out
last night. I don't you say that's that's very dramatic.
That is dramatic. But I love that also because life
is meant to be lived. Baby. Yes, I'm and honestly
I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna I'm gonna go
(10:10):
out on another Wednesday. I'm sure of it. Okay, So
he's drinking espresso, very dramatic. Also, I'm currently drinking a
dr pepper from McDonald's, which is also a lot. Oh
my god, I don't think you could top it. But
here we go. He just keeps going. Um, so we're
(10:31):
gonna hope that Mary doesn't find out. But what do
you think she would say? You know she knew about
what was going down, the truth in your house, she'd
be like, no more drama. I think she would say
that's I think she will say her her catchphrase, which
is important, like when she's like she she sees the
drama and she's like, you know what, no more of this?
(10:52):
Right right? But you know, even when I love someone,
if I if I feel that there's a rule, I
will break it. I will will go running through that fence. Look,
it's just drama, is um. It's so fun. Yes, It's
like it's like kicking your shoes off and sticking them
in a nice school stream. Uh sure, Yeah, that's how
(11:15):
I think of drama, putting my feet in a nice
school stream. It's like that's it's just I have to
do it. Yeah, it's a way of life. Okay, right,
I think I understand that I do. Um, and Mary
will make sure and nobody. I want all my listeners
(11:36):
around the globe internationally. Nobody snitched on Solomon. Remember I
am Italian. If I find out that any of them,
if I found out that any of you snitched to Mary,
then I'm coming for you. Okay, Um, next question, Mary
j Oblige recently performed at the Super Bowl have to show.
(12:01):
Uh what would you say? Do you think you could
pull off the outfit that she wore? And if not? Why? Absolutely?
No question asked. I would easily pull off that outfit.
I I think that's the whole point of her clothing
is that they can they can be worn by other people. Right,
you think that's going into the thought of what she's
(12:22):
putting on. Yeah, She's like, you know what, I bet
people I know could pull this off. Yeah, I'm like,
you know what, I can? I can do it? Am
I going to do it? No? Oh you're not. But
too much drama for me? Really, I didn't know there
(12:42):
was such a thing. It is. It is a thing.
You have to you have to you have like drama
has to stay in low doses. It's like you have
to micro dose drama. Right, because has never really been
my thing, but I'm trying to learn. Yeah, I've been
like I've been a lot of people micro dose stuff.
You can micro those things, sure, drama, nothing else though,
(13:06):
everything else, I just do a full dose, full dose.
I'm a full dozer left and right, except for drama. Okay,
except for drama. Yeah, because I gotta be honest. I
don't know if I could have pulled off that Mary outfit.
And I think it's incredible, but I don't know if
it would work on me. I feel like it's just
(13:30):
it has just have to have a confidence, really, and
if you listen to enough Mary's music, you will have
that confidence. And that's kind of that's what their songs.
Do you know that you can do that? You're right,
maybe I'm selling myself short and I should get that
outfit to wear one of my shows to the Virgil Um, honestly,
just wear to like Trader Joe's, just get yourself like
(13:56):
a fucking ready to make Indian meal on their freezer.
I like, yeah, you know what my ship is usually
from Trader Joe's is one of those cauliflower pizzas. I
like to fire those up on a Sunday when I'm
hungover from having two and a half drinks and um,
when I think that I'm when I think that I'm
being um a skinny bitch for having cauliflower pizza even
(14:17):
though it's really actually nine fifty calories and it's all
a lie. What Trader Joe's you go to? Or do
you not want to share to the listeners worldwide? Unfortunately,
I actually don't live near Trader Joe's anymore. I used to,
but now I'm very close to a Gelson's and obviously
for me it's about distance when it comes to grocery shopping.
(14:39):
We actually share the same guilty. We have a mutual
Gullson's in which I am constantly trying to stay away from,
but I'm always pulled back in the drama. It's honestly,
it's just it's right there. Yeah, it is right. You
know what's funny is um pre Pandem the Oaks, I
would go to the Oaks Gourmet every morning and get
(15:02):
a brown bag full of bacon and coffee. That was
my breakfast before I would go to, you know, one
of my twelve step meetings because I'm just so healthy
and um. But then they shut down. Then they shut
down the oaks, and um they eventually did come back.
But it's a counter situation, which I don't like outdoor
(15:25):
counter situation, so I stopped. Yeah, if you're like, ordering
a bag of bacon from a counter, isn't the same
you said it? Pal, Yeah, if I could turn back time,
those are the days I never knew. I never knew
that I was living high and mighty then I really
didn't at the time. But you know, we've forged your head.
(15:48):
We have to right next door. Their salad part was
gone for a long time too, and thank god it's back,
because you know, it's easier trying to be a skinny
bit child here. I can't like, I like I got
a salad is not a situation that I apply into
my life. Good for you, because I never know if
(16:10):
I'm full. I'm just knowing that my jaw is tired
from eating salad. You know what. That's one of the
true things I've ever heard about salad. Okay, Sometimes by
the end, I'm like, God, this is still going. We're
still doing this the age two years. This ship is
(16:30):
never ending. It's really and like it's it's like, especially
if you're getting like a fucking like a ridicio or
like a cabbage like the Love Radicio. It's those are
a journey though. You are just you're just going, You're
just there. Yeah, you're like ridicule and cabbage in a salad.
It sort of feels like you're in a jungle with
(16:50):
no path to walk on and you're just fighting through
with a machete. And I feel like a rugula for
me is probably like the best dream because it's like
it's it gets the wettest right, so it's like it's easy,
like like by the time, by halfway done, it's slimy,
so you can easily just force it down. You know.
(17:11):
It's funny, Solomon, funny that you bring up arugula because
you know, I put down bags of it as an
Italian girl, and um, what I find as I bring
it up to people is extremely polarizing. A lot of
people hate arugula, yeah, because it has um got a
flavor spice attaining to it. Yeah, and that's a lot
(17:33):
of people have issue with a green that has that
has any presence personally. Yeah, And I'm here for a
full body green. That's what I want. That's my preference
is a green that's like I'm here to be in
your mouth. You want a green that takes up space,
leaves a memory with agency. I want to green with agency? Right, okay,
(17:55):
God beautifully put Yeah so. According to Lucian Wiggles, Mary J.
Blige once said, I know who I am. I am
not perfect. I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world,
(18:15):
but I'm one of them. Do you, Solomon, consider yourself
one of the most beautiful people in the world? And um,
do you think I'm beautiful? And do you have any
single friends who you think would be interested in me? Um?
I'm for sure beautiful. I know you're beautiful. Um. Do
I have any single friends that would you? Most likely?
But should you beach them? Absolutely not. I feel like
(18:45):
I probably dated and for sure all of them honestly,
probably all in the same space. And I can I
can guarantee you none of them worth it. Yeah, yeah,
you're right. I am trying to move into a different
stage of my life. I am. Um. For the listeners,
I have huge updates in that I have decided to
(19:06):
uh stop being you know, um afraid of commitment and
I'm really going to look for my husband now. I
think you should be terrified commitment. No, I already did that,
it was Are you sure, because that's really scary like
commitments to me, it's just like it never stops being
a giant monster. Yeah. I think I decided that well
(19:28):
because I really did that hard. I mean I committed
hard to the no commitment, and I have come to
a place now shockingly suddenly. Don't know how it happened.
Maybe the tides, maybe time passing something where I'm like, oh,
I'm ready to let love in? Is it the breath work?
(19:49):
Is that what it is? I don't think so that is.
I feel like that helps a little bit. Maybe yeah,
maybe that's it. Maybe it's always like also like I
feel like when you spend enough time with yourself, eventually
go yeah, somebody else has to be here for this.
You're right, If you're right, I'm getting there too, Like
I know I'm actually there, Like I'm definitely like, oh, wow,
(20:10):
you know what, that's too much of me. Somebody needs
to take care of this. Yeah, yeah, I know. I
think I think it's good. I'm like, I'm like, I'm
sure working hard to make sure nobody loves me. You know. Look,
I think it's the best thing for you to like
it's I feel like I'm not even here for love.
I just want to ruin somebody else's day, right, drama
(20:33):
that sounds yeah, cool cool cool stream, cool stream that
sounds and ruining someone's day sounds like putting your feet
in the cool stream. Like that's the best. I think
that's the best part of relationship, just rooting somebody else's
day with like one text message, do you say that
on stage? To say it now? Okay, fine, dear Owen
(20:59):
Wilson exclusive if you already here first exclusive Okay, Solomon
Mary J. Blige. According to Lucian Wiggles, Mary J. Blige
has admitted to liking potatoes. Solomon, and I'm sorry for
the hard hitting question, but do you like potatoes? Why
(21:21):
or why not? Potatoes are the best fruit ever invented.
They're like and I think they're a fruit because they're
they're so versatile. It's a great juice. It's like it's
it's so like you can make literally anything with it,
Like you can make it into a pasta like Nioki. Yeah,
(21:47):
like you like cut it up and like make it
into like a wig as well. You can make out
an outfit. Have like potato peels, Like you can like
show a bunch of potatoes and make a potato peel dress. Right,
you could do that, even like the sacks that come
in are like fashion accessories. Yeah, so I feel like
they do so much they do. You're right, you and
(22:09):
Mary both love potatoes. Yeah, I feel like there can
be we can replace everything in our lives with potatoes.
Remember we could plug in the little wires into it
and like light up a light bulb. Yeah, we have
so many potatoes. We should be like charging everything with potatoes, right,
you should. We should probably call Biden after this and
let him know what we discovered about potatoes. Now I
have him a speed dial. Yeah, and now that Mary
(22:33):
brings us up. Mary J. Blige brings us up about potatoes.
I am thinking about how that time in Ireland. I
think about it. I learned about this one year in
elementary school, how there was a potato famine and the
whole country almost just stopped existing because the whole country
was run on potatoes. And you know what I think
(22:54):
they were They didn't do it right. I think they
were just too drunk to figure it out. Ye. No,
that is truly a really solid hypothesis because what happened
there with the famine. Yeah, I feel like people like say, like, hey,
potatoes are not really healthy and they're not the best
for you. And I think and they're like, if that's
all we have when we get sick, and that's not good.
(23:17):
I'm like, I don't. I don't think so. I think
that's not true. Right, you think it's a fruit juice. Yeah,
I think this. I feel like they might have not
spiced it properly, right, I don't know. I'm like, I
don't want to, like, I don't want to judge the
whole country during the worst the worst time in their history. Um,
(23:38):
but you know, maybe we can maybe this is a
discussion about what was going on with those potatoes, Like
let's open it up and see. Like I don't want
to victim blame, but right, right, you don't want to
victim blame. But we asked some questions about your agriculture.
I'll keep Yeah, I'm just I'm a lot of questions.
I got a lot of questions, right right, No victim blame.
(24:00):
Mean here Ireland, okay, don't call us up, and no
call me up. Here's my numbers too. What if Ireland
called you just like look, if this is what gets
me canceled, so be it. I've been. I've been, I've
been waiting years to get canceled, and I want this
(24:21):
to be the one. I want this to be the reason.
Mary would definitely hear about it. Yeah, She's like that
is for sure too much drama, and she'll call me
up and like say no more dramas. Yeah, but I
feel like she would really like you, so it would
be in like a caring way. You know. She probably
upset that Ireland snitched, Which that's the real That's that's
(24:44):
that's the real drama is snitching. Like that's that's like
like the biggest drama crime, right, snitching, I agree. In
just another reminder to everyone listening, no snitching to Ireland,
all right, there is a threat coming from me the host,
(25:05):
to anyone who snitches, because it is against my culture,
the Italian culture. My last name is Georgio, so I
you I get it right for both of us, we're
both Italian, okay, so uh Solomon. According to Lucian Wiggles,
Mary J. Blige is known for bringing hip hop and
(25:26):
R and B into the mainstream. What have you ever
brought to the mainstream? God? To the mainstream. Um, I'm
call me Barbara Walter. Sorry for being such a shrewd interviewer. Well,
I think I feel like I've brought almost everything except
(25:48):
R and B and hip hop like I did everything else.
I brought everything else in the main stream. Oh wow,
that is crazy. Everything that Mary J. Blige didn't cover
I did. Okay, So um, really you're responsible for potatoes
kind of just absolutely going off in this country. Hands out,
Like the flare jeans moment in the nineties, that was me.
(26:13):
You were behind that? Oh yeah, you know that moment
when everybody was like cutting the belts part of their
pants and wearing them as low risers and doing the
w You first me, hands down. Oh my god, I
thought I was such a hot little preteen, like um
middle schooler wearing my jeans like that, And little did
I know it was because of my future friends Solomon Georgia. Yeah,
(26:36):
it was me. And actually before it was called the Rachel,
it was called the Solomon and no one remembers that.
But yeah, my god, whoa. She saw me at a drama,
She saw me at Walmart. I was buying batteries and
I've had my hair fully out and she was like,
that is that's the look for me? That's it? Yeah,
(26:57):
that was it. So Sally Hirshberger, famous stylists Rachel her
style from Friends. She saw you in a Walmart absolutely
(27:20):
ripped off your look. I was buying C batteries. That's
like I was like, I was specifically there because I
was I don't know why, because I was an alarm
clock that needed C batteries and I had to be
like I had to go like i've been. Also, they're
so hard to find now, it's just so crazy. Oh
my god. You know what's incredible about this podcast is
(27:41):
we are learning history that the world has no idea about.
TMZ is going to be all over my ass. I
can't say I'm looking forward to it. Honestly, they already
know this. They already know this. They never give me
the credit. They already know well, because I've invented tim
c h first. So it was like I was doing
(28:04):
tam Z, I was called smzuh and that Harvey saw
me doing it and he was like, you know what,
I'm going to take this from you. So that's why
we never like, that's that's why it's never worked out.
So I even invented, like I even invented the mainstream,
like the mainstream, like the I'm not only brought things
to the main stream, I invented the mainstream as well,
(28:26):
which is that that is a stream, the cool stream
that I put my feet in when I started dropping.
Oh my god, my mind has broken into a million pieces.
It's just so hard to take in all of it
at once. I can't believe. I mean what I get
for the Deer and Wilson podcast, basically the inventor of
(28:50):
the mainstream folks and the cool pool for the toes,
for the drama. Hands down, that's what I did. That's
what I've been doing. So I just cannot believe. Sally Hershberger,
what a thief, What a goddamn thief, Harvey, whatever the
name is. But actually, I do think it's for the
best that you didn't that he sold t MZ out
(29:11):
and under it from you, because that's too much drama
and we're like, you're trying to micro dose. I'm micro
docing drama, And honestly it's fine. It's fine for me
because I'm not a snitch and I brought these people
to flourish, so they're fine. Wow, have you Solomon ever
retaliated when one of the one million people stole your ideas? No,
(29:32):
just their souls leave them and they come with me. God,
so I get I get their soul. So and that's
like that's like the biggest like that's revenge for me. Like,
but at the end, they're not gonna have They don't
realize they don't have their soul and I'm over here
hanging out with their souls. Wow. And so they're just
they're souldier voluntarily leave their body. So they're just empty
(29:53):
bags of skin walking around the roaming the earth with
the stolen idea whatever. It's their life. Wow. That's so
there's actually it's sort of like what I didn't even know.
There's sort of like a new age contemporary headless horsemen
thing kind of happening around town right now because all
(30:14):
the souls are just trying to go with you. Yeah. Well,
it's like once they see their person steal an idea,
they're like, why would I be with this lizard, this
original thief. Yeah, I'm gonna go with the mainstream. Yeah,
with the generator of ideas, the innovator. Wow. And that's
(30:34):
what we do. We workshop all day ideas without your
band of souls. Oh yeah, there's so many are and
like it's a really it's like a great like like
the it's like the pitching, the pitch meetings in the morning.
That's what I got to espresso for was to pitch. Wow,
it's sort of like a collective. What do you take
them for? Walks out on the street like a dog
(30:56):
or no, you know what, they're pretty there. I feel
like they like the stuff I own. So they just
spend their day just staring at my furniture. Yeah, because
you um perfectly curated it in a way that day,
in such an undeniable way that they could not stay away.
They were purely magnetized and they had to stay They
just so yeah, they're just they're chilling. They're chilling right now.
(31:18):
There's downstairs hanging out. So no ten thousand steps for
the souls. I'm jealous. Oh they're good. They don't need them.
They don't need them. They stay super skinny. Oh my god,
there's the souls are thin railed then literally they are
rails so shape like that. I can tell I know
that while yeah, you know, it's crazy. I'm gonna have
(31:41):
to talk to Lucian because he did not tell me
any of this and I am paying him so much money. Well,
I feel like I have his soul and that kind
of Solomon Solomon, Please, I'm going to have a hard
time just the way it is. Look, if you're gonna
like if somebody snooping around, the soul is going to
also be like I go, oh my god, wait, So
(32:02):
then who is in Lucien Wiggles is my private detective
and best friend who knows? Who knows? Oh my god,
that's really terrifying. I'm gonna have to do like some
sort of seance weig board. Yeah, make sure it doesn't
funk with your soul. God, I'm gonna have to call
in some protections. Damn, damn. The rugula is not cutting it. Also,
(32:23):
I do have a business for soul protection. So if
you ever Wow, man, you're a busy guy. I don't
know when you even sleep. I don't, like I said,
I woke up today, I didn't. It was just me
literally standing still with my that's like a vampire. No,
(32:48):
because I've advantage the idea first, So like you can
say vampires like Solomon, that's kind of what am I talking? Wow? Wow,
(33:12):
that's I have a lot to think about. I'll tell
you that after this podcast, have a lot in direction
to happen. Okay, so I guess we better moved to
the next question because my brain is breaking by the moment.
So according to Lucian, Mary has a line of sunglasses
(33:33):
called Melodies by m J B. Do you like to
wear sunglasses and if so, what are you hiding? Um?
A lot of things, honestly, mostly um, various businesses for
various businesses. I feel like when you're outside and you're
not wearing sunglasses, that's I think that's when people when
(33:54):
you can see people's eyes in public, that's just like,
that's not that's not cool. I feel like you're insulting.
That's a very insulting thing for me. Like eyes of
the window to the soul. Close your windows because you
don't want like if you want to you so you
should be wearing sunglasses. That's really what happens to all
these people they were not wearing sunglasses. They see idea
(34:14):
and you know what, the soul just like a rail thin. Wow,
this is essential information for my listeners. And I'll tell
you what, folks, you want me catching my ass walking
out as one without any sunglasses. From now on, these
eyes are covered. Recommend getting melodies by m J B.
(34:35):
Mary should send you maybe a few pairs to your house.
That would be great, right, yeah, let's manifest that. I'm
sure if she found out that hundreds of people were
losing their souls, um, she would be happy to lend
some of her melodies by m JB. Out because you
(34:59):
want to help the commune, Diddy, that's that's all like
she is. She's a philanthropist, she's very concerned. She's about
communities and souls. Solomon, do you have a name for
all these empty bodies walking around that are just sort
of weekend at Bernie's without souls? I don't know, they're
just I guess I want to say they're people, but
they're not really like I say, like, that's a kind
(35:21):
of a person that's like a kind of like not
like it's not but kind of you know, Okay, so
we call them it's not the kind of right. Oh yeah, yeah,
that makes total sense. I completely agree with you. Definitely.
I'm gonna be really scrupulously on the lookout for these
(35:42):
people because I don't really want to be hanging around
with any just loose bodies. Some of them are good people.
A lot of them are good people. They're fine. Yeah,
we just don't know who's at the wheel. Well, no
one's at the wheel. They're just recklessly driving like like
like there's plenty of it's driverless carts, like a Tesla.
They'll walk in to a person, right, Yeah, I don't
(36:02):
want any of these kind of kind of maybe um
walking in, not really but kind of bumping into me.
Like I don't. I don't have that kind of prejudice
I want. I'm fine with people with or without source.
I feel like that's right, that's just who I am. Right, Well,
I guess I need to um take some time out
(36:25):
and listen and reflect because I have some inner work
to do. I think so, because I don't want this
to be the reason you get canceled, right, I mean
I don't know when when it's coming, but maybe it's
because I said I don't want to be just hanging
around with any loose sacks of skin. You know what,
(36:50):
that's a weird thing to say, right, this is it's
just gonna be an eight second clip that just on
Twitter that just gets retweeted to death. Yeah, yeah, then
that's that's a danger. It's all they need is just
the one sound bite. Right, But you know, I don't
want to live in fear, you know, as they say
in club culture, And that's why you're ready for commitment. See, yeah,
(37:15):
I'm having fear leave my body, which maybe means my
soul left a long time ago. I don't know. Probably
I can tell you that. Oh well, that's good news
that you can right back inside it, right, you go
right back inside, that's my friend. So do they only
(37:42):
leave through the eyes or no? Oh well, I guess
if the eyes of the window of the mouth is
the door to the So there's a lot of things,
like it's a fully, it's a blocked up door. There's
like teeth like eyes, got like you, Like a lash
can tuckle you, and that's the words, like a tooth,
a tooth can do some damage, right, okay, got it? Okay,
(38:06):
So the soul, if the soul tries to escape from
the mouth, that does good injured. And also like the
ears gross, so waxy, nasty. Ears are so disgusting if
you think about it, Like when it comes to the
holes in the face, the eye is probably like the
best one, the most chic. Yes, respectable. Yeah, and most probably,
(38:27):
I don't know artistic. Also, yeah, it's it's everyone's eyes
is a signature, right, it tells, it tells their story,
and I think that's important. And like, I feel like
people don't not like hooded eyes. That's that's beautiful. Right,
I got a couple of those. I got headed eyes
I dream of, just like the giant exp like Greta.
(38:50):
Greta has the most non hooded eyes I've ever seen.
Look you can. It definitely is easier for makeup, right,
But I think it's kind of cool to have like
this nice little like layer of space. Yeah, it's like
they're uncircumcised eyes exactly. Can you get them? Can you
get the hooded eyes? Yeah, you definitely can, right, Yeah,
(39:12):
you can get in there a little snip snip, no
more hooded eyes, uncircumcised. I dont want to lose that sensitivity.
That's my favorite argument about about not getting circumcised, Like
(39:32):
you lose that sensitivity. Like I don't want my penis
to be more sensitive. It's too sensitive, ruining. I'm not
like over here with a curcised penis, Like, oh my god,
I can't feel anything nothing at all. Wow. Another dear
Owen Wilson. Exclusive exclusives don't stop, folks, they really don't, okay, alright.
(40:00):
According to Lucian Wiggles in August two thousand and seven,
Mary J. Blige was a guest star on the show
Entourage in the role of herself as a client of
Ari Golds. Do you agree that this role was below
her and that she should instead be treated like the
Oscar nominated star that she is. Yeah, she should have
(40:21):
been on Sex in the City. She should have replaced
all four women and it should have called it should
have been called Mary in the City or Mary's and
the City. And and like she they don't even like
do like the cut thing, Like she has to jump
into every role real quick. She has to throw in
(40:43):
a wig to be Samantha throwing another wig, And you
know what, I think it would have been a much
more fun show. Yeah, wow, wow, I didn't even think
of that. And now that you've brought it to the table,
I think that is a really really that idea has
some legs. Mary J. Blige being Samantha, like, oh, I
love sucking. And then she takes a wig off and
(41:04):
runs the other side of the table and puts on
the dark haired ladies Wig Charlotte's and it's like, wow,
that's too much sex. And then she's like, wow, no,
(41:26):
Charlotte's the prude. I gotta get married now. Okay, so
did you see and she would play Mr Big as well?
Oh god, because well, I guess we've never seen so
many have this much range. Well, the only person that
will still be in the cast is Steve. I think
that's the only person who just say, every else is
(41:46):
played by Mary really, Oh so you're a big Steve
Stan Not at all, not at all. I just think
he should just be there. He should need to learn
to learn, like as a p A or a guy
for like, not like I'm the wrong. I love I
(42:10):
really love Steve. But I think he's one of the
best characters. But my favorite character is Harry Golden Black,
Charlotte's second husband. Oh yes, the bald Jewish man who
always doesn't wear underwear with the shirt on and leaves
his tea bags on all of her nice tables. I've
seen one episode of Sexesses. Okay, Yeah, it seems like
you're a huge fan by all the ideas that you
(42:32):
are generating on this policy. I am. I didn't I
didn't haven't. I loved the episode I saw. I just
never got around. But I'm like the biggest fan, right right, yeah?
And you also just have a different vision for the
show with Mary. Yeah right, So like I feel like
that version is the right version, and that's the version
I've been thinking of. Sure, Okay, Um, that's very fair.
(42:53):
And um, did you or did you not? See Mary
on I don't know if I'm allowed to be calling
her Mary. I think I should go Mary j Blige?
Did you see did you see just see Mary j
Blige on Entourage? Um? I know I watched that episode
of television? Do I remember it? Unfortunately, because I felt
(43:17):
like that was definitely too big for her, especially like
just she should get better reps, right, Like that's are
you gold repre Mary J Blies? Doesn't make sense to me?
Right right? Okay, got it? It's like that in my universe. Yeah.
I also, you know I was one one. Let me say,
I'm so surprised. Lucien Wiggles wrote that question. It's wild
(43:40):
to think of um, seventy five years man who was
fishing for crawdads, right that question. But um, I also too,
I was going to be surprised if you had ever
seen Entourage. Well, I was like, I was near a
TV a lot in the early two thousand's, so can happen?
(44:01):
Like like, it's just like sometimes you just turn the
TV on, it's just Entourage, right, And Entourage was huge
at the time. I thought when I was young and
you know, oh, just coming out of Orange County and
you know I grew up in extreme toxic masculinity or
maybe just extreme masculinity. Um, and I was like, Wow,
this show is incredible. It's groundbreaking at the time because
(44:23):
I didn't have enough feminine influence in my life yet.
I was looking at it as like I need to
beat these men up eventually, So how how do I
take these men down? And then you watch every episode
like these men are incredibly weak. It'd be very easy
to take any one of them down. God, I thought
they were so like cool and hot at the time. Um.
(44:43):
Greta and I did run into Agian Grenier on a
hike two years ago, and I don't know if he
wanted to talk to us or if he genuinely was
extremely interested in Greta's dog, but he stopped and we
had a whole convo. Yeah, I saw him do karaoke
ones and I'm gonna tell you right now, not impressed.
(45:05):
Really was not impressed. That's why I can't do karaoke
in front of any of my gay friends. Because it's
the only song that I can sing genuinely. And it's
not because I can't carry a tune. I can. It's
purely because of my voice. If you guys can't believe it. Um,
the only song that I can actually sing is Heart
(45:27):
of Glass by Blondie. That's a fantastic song. Thank god,
I have one that's a good song, that's like one
of the best songs of all time. Yeah, but I
want to go off. It's a great song. Well when
I feel like those first like I wrote hard of
Past and then and I was you wrote you tell
(45:52):
me you wrote Heart of As And I was singing
it when I was buying I was a Walmart and
I was buying batteries. Uh, and it was I was
getting d batteries this time I was singing it to myself,
and Debor Harry was like the other end of the eye,
and she just took out a notepad and ripped off
(46:15):
your entire song and then became a star but I
have her soul, so we're good. These people need to
be jailed. I'm not satisfied that you just have their
soul like you got. You can't rip off artists, okay
people look No, I like her soul. Is a great
singer too, so that's good. I don't know, my god,
(46:36):
So if you ever want to hear, like like, if
you ever want to sing it to come over whenever.
Oh my god. Wow, that is actually a huge offer.
That is thrilling. Gone Bora now because of you know,
the whole incident. But that's Bora. I can't wait to
meet to Bora except you know, it does happen. Like
(46:58):
my Italian side has come out, like I feel upset
that these people you they're committing crimes. No, it's fine.
It's intellectual property. Look, heart of ass would have been
probably like a bigger hit, but it's fine. Heart of God.
And you got to be careful when you're buying batteries
(47:20):
because there are a lot of people out there trying
to steal from you. And I only go to Walmart
like four times. Ever, wow, just the case of the
wrong place at the wrong time. I guess um. All right, Well,
Solomon Mary's album What's the four one one? Got the
(47:43):
name from Mary's past occupation as a four one one operator?
Did you know that? Oh yeah you did you know that?
You invented the mainstream? Can you please on my cue?
Improvised a recreation of a situation in which Mary would
be working as a four one one operator and maybe, ah,
(48:04):
I could be the potential call. All right, let me
know when you're ready, okay, ringinging, Hi, thank you for
calling for when one is Mary J Blige? Wow? Hello, Mary,
I was just I was just wondering if you might
(48:24):
be able to connect me with um Adrian Grenier, oh
m from Entourage, the show Entourage is not out yet.
He's only like two years old right now. Oh but
(48:46):
I can Oh, my mistake, my mistake the show. Wow,
Oh my god, I'm not even born yet. So I'm
talking to barely a person. You're talking to a soul.
I guess someone's soul. Gosh, my bad, I really am
(49:08):
so I got egg on my face now I'm embarrassed.
But if you need to get directions to do hands
across America, I can tell you where it is in
your locale. Oh please, yes, thank you. It's so nice
to talk with you. Mary. You have a really beautiful soul.
I actually see extremely bright future for you. Yeah. You
know a lot of people say that, really a lot.
(49:30):
I do get that a lot. Like they just call
here to tell me that that's the only thing, Like
it's for one is for information, but like people give
me information to Right, are you wearing thigh high boots
right now? Hands down? I'm typing with my thigh boots.
Oh my god, you are so talented. You have to learn.
You have to just just because you're sitting down doesn't
(49:52):
mean you can't keep your thigh highs working or type
with your solettos. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay, Well, I guess I
gotta leave you be because I know you have a
lot of call is about your future. Yeah, thank you. Okay,
Well I just adore you and um, even though I'm
not born yet, I really think you're the best. Oh,
that's so kind of you. Hopefully you have a good
birth and no drama and no more drama. But wow,
(50:19):
that was really fun. Okay, Oh my goss, Solomon, God,
what old journey we have been on. That was crazy.
I have changed forever. Holy shit. You know, we learned
a lot of things today. Yeah, and thank god I
had you on right in the beginning of the podcast
so that we could set a precedent for the rest
of the guests. You know, I'm serious. Yeah, good good
(50:43):
luck to them. Seriously, I wish them well. I pray
for them, because I don't know how anyone is going
to follow this. I don't I don't recommend it. I
sure don't either. Maybe I should retire it after this episode.
That would be a good idea. I do have one
segment left before you go thereeree. This will be a
(51:15):
segment once this thing absolutely launches off the ground into
podcasts oblivion, which you know, I know is a niche market,
and I will absolutely explode in I will be having
a listeners call in with their fan on the street encounters.
But I'm wondering until then, if you have a fun
(51:35):
celebrity encounter that you'd like to talk about, tell right,
all of them taught a lot of them. Um. I
did once serve t to Nicole Kidman, and you did
like it was. She was like porcelain. She was more
delicate than the cup. Really, that makes sense to me.
(51:58):
That was a moment to watch, right, her performance and
drinking tea in a blackma on Tuesday and Tuesday afternoon.
Probably one of the great performances ever seen. And I
think she should have got an oscar for that. Yeah,
I agree. You know, she has like extreme ballerina energy.
It was very like it was like it's almost like pain,
Like I was like, is the cup hurting you? Like
(52:18):
I was gonna like I was. It was very like,
it was very like I was really concerned. It's like
it was too heavy. Oh my god, that's a really
good one. So I like that to know that Nicole
in her free time likes to go take in some art.
M Oh no, she didn't go to the museum. She
just came in for the tea. You know, I was there.
(52:40):
That makes sense. She probably wanted to steal from you.
Oh yeah, but she have to exhauses on so that's see,
that's she knew. Oh okay, she's smart. God wow, thank
god for this by m J B. God, I have
a real one that happened to me that I am
going to exhaust my few celebrity encounter stories that are
(53:02):
non comedian based. Um in the first handful of episodes,
but one time, this is real. I had just moved
to New York and my long distance boyfriend. The other
one I told was also during the same visit that
my long distance boyfriend was visiting me, and I just
moved he was there. We were walking in Times Square
(53:23):
hand in hand and holding hands, and it was very hot,
like very crowded, and the traffic was going one mile
whole hour, and there was this black suv next to
me and this sees me holding hands and is just
saying the most wild things to me, very sexual things,
(53:46):
and I'm just like, very uncomfortable. And then my boyfriend
whatever looks over, stop singing about whatever he was doing,
looks over, and I was like, oh my god. DMX
goes over, goes over, sha his hand And that was
a fun moment. Yeah, you know what I mean. I
(54:07):
didn't like it the moment it was happening because I
didn't know, but then after I was like, oh that guy,
come on, you know who let the dogs out? Yeah? Yeah,
I like DMX, I do I like him? Rest in peace? Yeah? Well, god,
I think we covered it all. And we love Mary J. Blige,
(54:29):
we love Solomon Slash the mainstream, and what a gift
it was to have you on this podcast. Yeah, I'm
so happy to be here. It was a gift for me. Well,
we have a lot to discuss on the next time
we see each other. Way too much to discuss, alright, Pat,
thanks for coming on. Okay Cha
Hello everyone, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you
guys to hear this episode. It was so funny had
me laughing my absolute ass off. My guest today is
my friend Solomon Georgio, hilarious man. You've seen him on Conan,
Comedy Central, HBO, and so many other places. He's a
(00:22):
writer on many of your favorite shows. And you need
to check out his new podcast called The Juice. It's
all about low steaks gossip. Join him each week as
he sources only the best everyday gossip from comedians, performers,
and listeners. You guys, new episode throughout every Thursday wherever
you get your podcasts, And for me, I will be
(00:46):
headlining the Irvine Improv Wednesday, May eighteen. Would love to
see you guys there. Please come out and see me.
It's gonna be so much fun. Also, as I said,
we'll be doing an hour of new material at the
Allegian Theater in l A on Monday, June six atn pm.
Ticket links for both of those shows will be in
(01:08):
the show notes of this podcast. Follow me at Blair
Saki on Twitter and Instagram, and please rate, subscribe, and
review this podcast if you want to be a really good,
supportive person that I love. Okay, everyone, thank you so
much and please enjoy this episode. Welcome to the Dear
(01:33):
Owen Wilson Podcast. I'm your host, you Blair Saki. It's
great to be with you guys again. As we get
this thing off the ground, I am going to be
reminding you the first few episodes what the show is about. Yes,
it is based on a real letter that I wrote
to Owen Wilson in two thousand seven telling him how
(01:54):
much I loved him. I do not know if you
received the letter. Only time will tell. I have every
intention of having him on this podcast, and I do
think that it will become a reality. But I have
made this podcast off my live show that I've had
for five years, where comedians come on read letters to
celebrities they love, and then I interview them as the
(02:17):
shrewd interviewer that I am. And do I have a
treat for you today because I picked the all stars
of the live show to come in hot at the
beginning of this podcast. And this guy, he's an incredible comedian,
very famous, a motherfucking producer on all your favorite shows.
(02:38):
I'm so happy to have him. Please welcome my friend Solomon,
Georgia Solomon, thank you so much for coming on today
to really good. Is that fresh? Um? Yeah up, yeah, yeah,
(03:05):
it's it's looking very fresh. How are you. I'm good,
just hanging out in my house with my wigs. You're
gorgeous house. You're gorgeous room of wigs. I'm pleased that
I got to see it. Yeah, I got more. Yeah,
your collection is growing by the day. That's what I'm
going for. You really have a great hobby going there
(03:27):
in your gorgeous house. Yes, well, they're they're going to
get my inheritance. They're gonna they're they're the only thing
my will are the wigs. Yeah, but I mean that's
gonna be a hell of a will to receive for someone. Wow,
they're lucky. The wigs are getting this stuff. People. My
(03:50):
bad might stay I misunderstood that makes sense of course. Um, okay,
well I'm just gonna have you start off and then
we're gonna get into Yeah, I'll read my letter. Um,
dear Mayor J. Blige. Very few people get to say
they are Mayor J. Blige. As a matter of fact,
only one Perkinson can say they are may J Blige,
(04:10):
and that is you. Mary J. Blige. I love saying
your name. It's the top ten best names in the
history of names. It's almost like you were destined to
be one of the greatest R and B singers of
all time. You also practically invented high heeled boots. I
know they existed before you were born, but you invented them.
And after seeing the Super Bowl, my eyes swelled with tears.
I was just so happy to see you stopping on
(04:31):
in those boots, seeing your heart out, whipping all thirty
inches of that perfect hair. I'm not going to mention
your age like other so called fans, because you are ageless,
and it always makes me smile to see you perform
and you're acting. It's better with every project. You were great.
Dina Washington in respect, and you should have gotten the
Oscar for mud Bound. You might say, what is the
point of this letter? There is no point. I just
(04:51):
like to say, just like you so much, and hope
you never stopped doing what you do best or doing
whatever you want. Thank you for everything you've done. Thank
you for telling us to fine real love. Thank you
for always giving us the four one one. Thank you
for letting us know you you're doing just fine, and
thank you for single handedly stopping all the hate rations
in the danceries. You are a goddess and an icon
(05:13):
and everybody would be much better person if they had
a little Mary John will bless Solomon Georgia. I think
I shd a motherfucking tier on that one. Wow. Wow. Yes,
and how timely after the super Bowl. Really, it's it's great.
Really should have been the only headliner. Honestly, as far
(05:33):
as I'm concerned, As far as if you're asking me,
Mary Blige is good enough for a whole half time show, Yeah, no,
I completely agree. Well, Solomon, it's so great to have
you back. Uh. Yeah, You've done the show multiple times,
always been a hit, the crowd favorite. Solomon. Mary J.
(05:55):
Blige has been called the Queen of hip hop soul.
Do you think souls exist? And if so, how would
you explain your souls behavior? Good question. I do believe
souls exist. Uh, the question is do I have only
one soul? I don't think so. I feel like I
(06:16):
feel like I've been stealing souls left and right since
I was a child, and I think that's only fair.
I feel like people aren't a lot of people, aren't
you think their souls very well, and I just like
taking in as many as possible. Wow, So you sort
of have like a Baltimore thing. Um do you do
you put people the souls that you steal into you know,
(06:40):
objects around the house or what do you do with them? Exactly?
First of all, stealing is and that's not the case.
They just go with me. They're done with their person.
I'm they see me and they're like, you know what,
I'm done with this person. I'll follow Solomon home and
they just hang out and about like I feel like,
(07:01):
I feel like there's just like a few things they
like to Like. My weights for sure have several souls.
So whenever I like work out, like I bring like
soul cycle. That's what I'm doing. Okay, So, if I'm
hearing you correctly, I misspoke. You're not stealing any souls.
(07:22):
What's happening is the souls are going freely on their
free wild they see you, they get a little taste
of the soul dog, and they said that's the direction
I'm going, Like, I'm gonna go follow Solo. Man. Yes,
your soul is just like this bright, beaming, pulsing light
(07:48):
that the other souls can't resist. Yes, exactly, And they said,
I'm going home with the man with the roof ale wigs.
Yeah it makes sense. There's no like the logically it
makes sense to them. Can I get it? And I'm
not deny them to like they should follow me. It's
the best best place to live the best place to be.
And honestly, I have really good snacks that always helps. Yeah. Yeah, well,
(08:14):
oh my god, I'm just so glad I got you
on the podcast because like that is something that I
actually needed to learn yesterday. Um about the souls, the snacks,
the whole thing. Solomon. Okay, so Solomon according to my
private detective Lucien Wiggles, And if you're just tuning into
the show, I will remind our new and emerging, um
(08:37):
but rabid audience that Lucien Wiggles is indeed my private
investigator and dear friend, although he does not call me
his friend back that I met in the current river
while fishing for craw dats. Anyway, it's not that you're
all caught up again. Lucian did tell me Mary is
known for wanting no more drama. Please describe Solomon in
(09:00):
extreme detail why you love drama so much and you
think that Mary, would I have to say about this? Um,
I feel like, you know what, sometimes you do things
that makes your heroes disappointed, and that's fine, that's fine,
and you know what, you can't have all these souls
with no drama. And that's just the way it is, right,
(09:22):
it's the test that I took on. I'm hoping she
never finds out about this. Yeah, um, because yeah, my
life is is drama filled. Like this morning, I, Um,
I made coffee, you did, and I could have just
made regular coffee, but I made an espresso. And honestly,
that's way too dramatic, Like it's it's just too much drama. Wow,
(09:48):
an espresso this morning. You're doing a lot. It's really,
it was a lot. It was a lot, and honestly
it wasn't even this morning, it was like noon. I
really that's like I I went out, I went out
last night. I don't you say that's that's very dramatic.
That is dramatic. But I love that also because life
is meant to be lived. Baby. Yes, I'm and honestly
I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna I'm gonna go
(10:10):
out on another Wednesday. I'm sure of it. Okay, So
he's drinking espresso, very dramatic. Also, I'm currently drinking a
dr pepper from McDonald's, which is also a lot. Oh
my god, I don't think you could top it. But
here we go. He just keeps going. Um, so we're
(10:31):
gonna hope that Mary doesn't find out. But what do
you think she would say? You know she knew about
what was going down, the truth in your house, she'd
be like, no more drama. I think she would say
that's I think she will say her her catchphrase, which
is important, like when she's like she she sees the
drama and she's like, you know what, no more of this?
(10:52):
Right right? But you know, even when I love someone,
if I if I feel that there's a rule, I
will break it. I will will go running through that fence. Look,
it's just drama, is um. It's so fun. Yes, It's
like it's like kicking your shoes off and sticking them
in a nice school stream. Uh sure, Yeah, that's how
(11:15):
I think of drama, putting my feet in a nice
school stream. It's like that's it's just I have to
do it. Yeah, it's a way of life. Okay, right,
I think I understand that I do. Um, and Mary
will make sure and nobody. I want all my listeners
(11:36):
around the globe internationally. Nobody snitched on Solomon. Remember I
am Italian. If I find out that any of them,
if I found out that any of you snitched to Mary,
then I'm coming for you. Okay, Um, next question, Mary
j Oblige recently performed at the Super Bowl have to show.
(12:01):
Uh what would you say? Do you think you could
pull off the outfit that she wore? And if not? Why? Absolutely?
No question asked. I would easily pull off that outfit.
I I think that's the whole point of her clothing
is that they can they can be worn by other people. Right,
you think that's going into the thought of what she's
(12:22):
putting on. Yeah, She's like, you know what, I bet
people I know could pull this off. Yeah, I'm like,
you know what, I can? I can do it? Am
I going to do it? No? Oh you're not. But
too much drama for me? Really, I didn't know there
(12:42):
was such a thing. It is. It is a thing.
You have to you have to you have like drama
has to stay in low doses. It's like you have
to micro dose drama. Right, because has never really been
my thing, but I'm trying to learn. Yeah, I've been
like I've been a lot of people micro dose stuff.
You can micro those things, sure, drama, nothing else though,
(13:06):
everything else, I just do a full dose, full dose.
I'm a full dozer left and right, except for drama. Okay,
except for drama. Yeah, because I gotta be honest. I
don't know if I could have pulled off that Mary outfit.
And I think it's incredible, but I don't know if
it would work on me. I feel like it's just
(13:30):
it has just have to have a confidence, really, and
if you listen to enough Mary's music, you will have
that confidence. And that's kind of that's what their songs.
Do you know that you can do that? You're right,
maybe I'm selling myself short and I should get that
outfit to wear one of my shows to the Virgil Um, honestly,
just wear to like Trader Joe's, just get yourself like
(13:56):
a fucking ready to make Indian meal on their freezer.
I like, yeah, you know what my ship is usually
from Trader Joe's is one of those cauliflower pizzas. I
like to fire those up on a Sunday when I'm
hungover from having two and a half drinks and um,
when I think that I'm when I think that I'm
being um a skinny bitch for having cauliflower pizza even
(14:17):
though it's really actually nine fifty calories and it's all
a lie. What Trader Joe's you go to? Or do
you not want to share to the listeners worldwide? Unfortunately,
I actually don't live near Trader Joe's anymore. I used to,
but now I'm very close to a Gelson's and obviously
for me it's about distance when it comes to grocery shopping.
(14:39):
We actually share the same guilty. We have a mutual
Gullson's in which I am constantly trying to stay away from,
but I'm always pulled back in the drama. It's honestly,
it's just it's right there. Yeah, it is right. You
know what's funny is um pre Pandem the Oaks, I
would go to the Oaks Gourmet every morning and get
(15:02):
a brown bag full of bacon and coffee. That was
my breakfast before I would go to, you know, one
of my twelve step meetings because I'm just so healthy
and um. But then they shut down. Then they shut
down the oaks, and um they eventually did come back.
But it's a counter situation, which I don't like outdoor
(15:25):
counter situation, so I stopped. Yeah, if you're like, ordering
a bag of bacon from a counter, isn't the same
you said it? Pal, Yeah, if I could turn back time,
those are the days I never knew. I never knew
that I was living high and mighty then I really
didn't at the time. But you know, we've forged your head.
(15:48):
We have to right next door. Their salad part was
gone for a long time too, and thank god it's back,
because you know, it's easier trying to be a skinny
bit child here. I can't like, I like I got
a salad is not a situation that I apply into
my life. Good for you, because I never know if
(16:10):
I'm full. I'm just knowing that my jaw is tired
from eating salad. You know what. That's one of the
true things I've ever heard about salad. Okay, Sometimes by
the end, I'm like, God, this is still going. We're
still doing this the age two years. This ship is
(16:30):
never ending. It's really and like it's it's like, especially
if you're getting like a fucking like a ridicio or
like a cabbage like the Love Radicio. It's those are
a journey though. You are just you're just going, You're
just there. Yeah, you're like ridicule and cabbage in a salad.
It sort of feels like you're in a jungle with
(16:50):
no path to walk on and you're just fighting through
with a machete. And I feel like a rugula for
me is probably like the best dream because it's like
it's it gets the wettest right, so it's like it's easy,
like like by the time, by halfway done, it's slimy,
so you can easily just force it down. You know.
(17:11):
It's funny, Solomon, funny that you bring up arugula because
you know, I put down bags of it as an
Italian girl, and um, what I find as I bring
it up to people is extremely polarizing. A lot of
people hate arugula, yeah, because it has um got a
flavor spice attaining to it. Yeah, and that's a lot
(17:33):
of people have issue with a green that has that
has any presence personally. Yeah, And I'm here for a
full body green. That's what I want. That's my preference
is a green that's like I'm here to be in
your mouth. You want a green that takes up space,
leaves a memory with agency. I want to green with agency? Right, okay,
(17:55):
God beautifully put Yeah so. According to Lucian Wiggles, Mary J.
Blige once said, I know who I am. I am
not perfect. I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world,
(18:15):
but I'm one of them. Do you, Solomon, consider yourself
one of the most beautiful people in the world? And um,
do you think I'm beautiful? And do you have any
single friends who you think would be interested in me? Um?
I'm for sure beautiful. I know you're beautiful. Um. Do
I have any single friends that would you? Most likely?
But should you beach them? Absolutely not. I feel like
(18:45):
I probably dated and for sure all of them honestly,
probably all in the same space. And I can I
can guarantee you none of them worth it. Yeah, yeah,
you're right. I am trying to move into a different
stage of my life. I am. Um. For the listeners,
I have huge updates in that I have decided to
(19:06):
uh stop being you know, um afraid of commitment and
I'm really going to look for my husband now. I
think you should be terrified commitment. No, I already did that,
it was Are you sure, because that's really scary like
commitments to me, it's just like it never stops being
a giant monster. Yeah. I think I decided that well
(19:28):
because I really did that hard. I mean I committed
hard to the no commitment, and I have come to
a place now shockingly suddenly. Don't know how it happened.
Maybe the tides, maybe time passing something where I'm like, oh,
I'm ready to let love in? Is it the breath work?
(19:49):
Is that what it is? I don't think so that is.
I feel like that helps a little bit. Maybe yeah,
maybe that's it. Maybe it's always like also like I
feel like when you spend enough time with yourself, eventually
go yeah, somebody else has to be here for this.
You're right, If you're right, I'm getting there too, Like
I know I'm actually there, Like I'm definitely like, oh, wow,
(20:10):
you know what, that's too much of me. Somebody needs
to take care of this. Yeah, yeah, I know. I
think I think it's good. I'm like, I'm like, I'm
sure working hard to make sure nobody loves me. You know. Look,
I think it's the best thing for you to like
it's I feel like I'm not even here for love.
I just want to ruin somebody else's day, right, drama
(20:33):
that sounds yeah, cool cool cool stream, cool stream that
sounds and ruining someone's day sounds like putting your feet
in the cool stream. Like that's the best. I think
that's the best part of relationship, just rooting somebody else's
day with like one text message, do you say that
on stage? To say it now? Okay, fine, dear Owen
(20:59):
Wilson exclusive if you already here first exclusive Okay, Solomon
Mary J. Blige. According to Lucian Wiggles, Mary J. Blige
has admitted to liking potatoes. Solomon, and I'm sorry for
the hard hitting question, but do you like potatoes? Why
(21:21):
or why not? Potatoes are the best fruit ever invented.
They're like and I think they're a fruit because they're
they're so versatile. It's a great juice. It's like it's
it's so like you can make literally anything with it,
Like you can make it into a pasta like Nioki. Yeah,
(21:47):
like you like cut it up and like make it
into like a wig as well. You can make out
an outfit. Have like potato peels, Like you can like
show a bunch of potatoes and make a potato peel dress. Right,
you could do that, even like the sacks that come
in are like fashion accessories. Yeah, so I feel like
they do so much they do. You're right, you and
(22:09):
Mary both love potatoes. Yeah, I feel like there can
be we can replace everything in our lives with potatoes.
Remember we could plug in the little wires into it
and like light up a light bulb. Yeah, we have
so many potatoes. We should be like charging everything with potatoes, right,
you should. We should probably call Biden after this and
let him know what we discovered about potatoes. Now I
have him a speed dial. Yeah, and now that Mary
(22:33):
brings us up. Mary J. Blige brings us up about potatoes.
I am thinking about how that time in Ireland. I
think about it. I learned about this one year in
elementary school, how there was a potato famine and the
whole country almost just stopped existing because the whole country
was run on potatoes. And you know what I think
(22:54):
they were They didn't do it right. I think they
were just too drunk to figure it out. Ye. No,
that is truly a really solid hypothesis because what happened
there with the famine. Yeah, I feel like people like say, like, hey,
potatoes are not really healthy and they're not the best
for you. And I think and they're like, if that's
all we have when we get sick, and that's not good.
(23:17):
I'm like, I don't. I don't think so. I think
that's not true. Right, you think it's a fruit juice. Yeah,
I think this. I feel like they might have not
spiced it properly, right, I don't know. I'm like, I
don't want to, like, I don't want to judge the
whole country during the worst the worst time in their history. Um,
(23:38):
but you know, maybe we can maybe this is a
discussion about what was going on with those potatoes, Like
let's open it up and see. Like I don't want
to victim blame, but right, right, you don't want to
victim blame. But we asked some questions about your agriculture.
I'll keep Yeah, I'm just I'm a lot of questions.
I got a lot of questions, right right, No victim blame.
(24:00):
Mean here Ireland, okay, don't call us up, and no
call me up. Here's my numbers too. What if Ireland
called you just like look, if this is what gets
me canceled, so be it. I've been. I've been, I've
been waiting years to get canceled, and I want this
(24:21):
to be the one. I want this to be the reason.
Mary would definitely hear about it. Yeah, She's like that
is for sure too much drama, and she'll call me
up and like say no more dramas. Yeah, but I
feel like she would really like you, so it would
be in like a caring way. You know. She probably
upset that Ireland snitched, Which that's the real That's that's
(24:44):
that's the real drama is snitching. Like that's that's like
like the biggest drama crime, right, snitching, I agree. In
just another reminder to everyone listening, no snitching to Ireland,
all right, there is a threat coming from me the host,
(25:05):
to anyone who snitches, because it is against my culture,
the Italian culture. My last name is Georgio, so I
you I get it right for both of us, we're
both Italian, okay, so uh Solomon. According to Lucian Wiggles,
Mary J. Blige is known for bringing hip hop and
(25:26):
R and B into the mainstream. What have you ever
brought to the mainstream? God? To the mainstream. Um, I'm
call me Barbara Walter. Sorry for being such a shrewd interviewer. Well,
I think I feel like I've brought almost everything except
(25:48):
R and B and hip hop like I did everything else.
I brought everything else in the main stream. Oh wow,
that is crazy. Everything that Mary J. Blige didn't cover
I did. Okay, So um, really you're responsible for potatoes
kind of just absolutely going off in this country. Hands out,
Like the flare jeans moment in the nineties, that was me.
(26:13):
You were behind that? Oh yeah, you know that moment
when everybody was like cutting the belts part of their
pants and wearing them as low risers and doing the
w You first me, hands down. Oh my god, I
thought I was such a hot little preteen, like um
middle schooler wearing my jeans like that, And little did
I know it was because of my future friends Solomon Georgia. Yeah,
(26:36):
it was me. And actually before it was called the Rachel,
it was called the Solomon and no one remembers that.
But yeah, my god, whoa. She saw me at a drama,
She saw me at Walmart. I was buying batteries and
I've had my hair fully out and she was like,
that is that's the look for me? That's it? Yeah,
(26:57):
that was it. So Sally Hirshberger, famous stylists Rachel her
style from Friends. She saw you in a Walmart absolutely
(27:20):
ripped off your look. I was buying C batteries. That's
like I was like, I was specifically there because I
was I don't know why, because I was an alarm
clock that needed C batteries and I had to be
like I had to go like i've been. Also, they're
so hard to find now, it's just so crazy. Oh
my god. You know what's incredible about this podcast is
(27:41):
we are learning history that the world has no idea about.
TMZ is going to be all over my ass. I
can't say I'm looking forward to it. Honestly, they already
know this. They already know this. They never give me
the credit. They already know well, because I've invented tim
c h first. So it was like I was doing
(28:04):
tam Z, I was called smzuh and that Harvey saw
me doing it and he was like, you know what,
I'm going to take this from you. So that's why
we never like, that's that's why it's never worked out.
So I even invented, like I even invented the mainstream,
like the mainstream, like the I'm not only brought things
to the main stream, I invented the mainstream as well,
(28:26):
which is that that is a stream, the cool stream
that I put my feet in when I started dropping.
Oh my god, my mind has broken into a million pieces.
It's just so hard to take in all of it
at once. I can't believe. I mean what I get
for the Deer and Wilson podcast, basically the inventor of
(28:50):
the mainstream folks and the cool pool for the toes,
for the drama. Hands down, that's what I did. That's
what I've been doing. So I just cannot believe. Sally Hershberger,
what a thief, What a goddamn thief, Harvey, whatever the
name is. But actually, I do think it's for the
best that you didn't that he sold t MZ out
(29:11):
and under it from you, because that's too much drama
and we're like, you're trying to micro dose. I'm micro
docing drama, And honestly it's fine. It's fine for me
because I'm not a snitch and I brought these people
to flourish, so they're fine. Wow, have you Solomon ever
retaliated when one of the one million people stole your ideas? No,
(29:32):
just their souls leave them and they come with me. God,
so I get I get their soul. So and that's
like that's like the biggest like that's revenge for me. Like,
but at the end, they're not gonna have They don't
realize they don't have their soul and I'm over here
hanging out with their souls. Wow. And so they're just
they're souldier voluntarily leave their body. So they're just empty
(29:53):
bags of skin walking around the roaming the earth with
the stolen idea whatever. It's their life. Wow. That's so
there's actually it's sort of like what I didn't even know.
There's sort of like a new age contemporary headless horsemen
thing kind of happening around town right now because all
(30:14):
the souls are just trying to go with you. Yeah. Well,
it's like once they see their person steal an idea,
they're like, why would I be with this lizard, this
original thief. Yeah, I'm gonna go with the mainstream. Yeah,
with the generator of ideas, the innovator. Wow. And that's
(30:34):
what we do. We workshop all day ideas without your
band of souls. Oh yeah, there's so many are and
like it's a really it's like a great like like
the it's like the pitching, the pitch meetings in the morning.
That's what I got to espresso for was to pitch. Wow,
it's sort of like a collective. What do you take
them for? Walks out on the street like a dog
(30:56):
or no, you know what, they're pretty there. I feel
like they like the stuff I own. So they just
spend their day just staring at my furniture. Yeah, because
you um perfectly curated it in a way that day,
in such an undeniable way that they could not stay away.
They were purely magnetized and they had to stay They
just so yeah, they're just they're chilling. They're chilling right now.
(31:18):
There's downstairs hanging out. So no ten thousand steps for
the souls. I'm jealous. Oh they're good. They don't need them.
They don't need them. They stay super skinny. Oh my god,
there's the souls are thin railed then literally they are
rails so shape like that. I can tell I know
that while yeah, you know, it's crazy. I'm gonna have
(31:41):
to talk to Lucian because he did not tell me
any of this and I am paying him so much money. Well,
I feel like I have his soul and that kind
of Solomon Solomon, Please, I'm going to have a hard
time just the way it is. Look, if you're gonna
like if somebody snooping around, the soul is going to
also be like I go, oh my god, wait, So
(32:02):
then who is in Lucien Wiggles is my private detective
and best friend who knows? Who knows? Oh my god,
that's really terrifying. I'm gonna have to do like some
sort of seance weig board. Yeah, make sure it doesn't
funk with your soul. God, I'm gonna have to call
in some protections. Damn, damn. The rugula is not cutting it. Also,
(32:23):
I do have a business for soul protection. So if
you ever Wow, man, you're a busy guy. I don't
know when you even sleep. I don't, like I said,
I woke up today, I didn't. It was just me
literally standing still with my that's like a vampire. No,
(32:48):
because I've advantage the idea first, So like you can
say vampires like Solomon, that's kind of what am I talking? Wow? Wow,
(33:12):
that's I have a lot to think about. I'll tell
you that after this podcast, have a lot in direction
to happen. Okay, so I guess we better moved to
the next question because my brain is breaking by the moment.
So according to Lucian, Mary has a line of sunglasses
(33:33):
called Melodies by m J B. Do you like to
wear sunglasses and if so, what are you hiding? Um?
A lot of things, honestly, mostly um, various businesses for
various businesses. I feel like when you're outside and you're
not wearing sunglasses, that's I think that's when people when
(33:54):
you can see people's eyes in public, that's just like,
that's not that's not cool. I feel like you're insulting.
That's a very insulting thing for me. Like eyes of
the window to the soul. Close your windows because you
don't want like if you want to you so you
should be wearing sunglasses. That's really what happens to all
these people they were not wearing sunglasses. They see idea
(34:14):
and you know what, the soul just like a rail thin. Wow,
this is essential information for my listeners. And I'll tell
you what, folks, you want me catching my ass walking
out as one without any sunglasses. From now on, these
eyes are covered. Recommend getting melodies by m J B.
(34:35):
Mary should send you maybe a few pairs to your house.
That would be great, right, yeah, let's manifest that. I'm
sure if she found out that hundreds of people were
losing their souls, um, she would be happy to lend
some of her melodies by m JB. Out because you
(34:59):
want to help the commune, Diddy, that's that's all like
she is. She's a philanthropist, she's very concerned. She's about
communities and souls. Solomon, do you have a name for
all these empty bodies walking around that are just sort
of weekend at Bernie's without souls? I don't know, they're
just I guess I want to say they're people, but
they're not really like I say, like, that's a kind
(35:21):
of a person that's like a kind of like not
like it's not but kind of you know, Okay, so
we call them it's not the kind of right. Oh yeah, yeah,
that makes total sense. I completely agree with you. Definitely.
I'm gonna be really scrupulously on the lookout for these
(35:42):
people because I don't really want to be hanging around
with any just loose bodies. Some of them are good people.
A lot of them are good people. They're fine. Yeah,
we just don't know who's at the wheel. Well, no
one's at the wheel. They're just recklessly driving like like
like there's plenty of it's driverless carts, like a Tesla.
They'll walk in to a person, right, Yeah, I don't
(36:02):
want any of these kind of kind of maybe um
walking in, not really but kind of bumping into me.
Like I don't. I don't have that kind of prejudice
I want. I'm fine with people with or without source.
I feel like that's right, that's just who I am. Right, Well,
I guess I need to um take some time out
(36:25):
and listen and reflect because I have some inner work
to do. I think so, because I don't want this
to be the reason you get canceled, right, I mean
I don't know when when it's coming, but maybe it's
because I said I don't want to be just hanging
around with any loose sacks of skin. You know what,
(36:50):
that's a weird thing to say, right, this is it's
just gonna be an eight second clip that just on
Twitter that just gets retweeted to death. Yeah, yeah, then
that's that's a danger. It's all they need is just
the one sound bite. Right, But you know, I don't
want to live in fear, you know, as they say
in club culture, And that's why you're ready for commitment. See, yeah,
(37:15):
I'm having fear leave my body, which maybe means my
soul left a long time ago. I don't know. Probably
I can tell you that. Oh well, that's good news
that you can right back inside it, right, you go
right back inside, that's my friend. So do they only
(37:42):
leave through the eyes or no? Oh well, I guess
if the eyes of the window of the mouth is
the door to the So there's a lot of things,
like it's a fully, it's a blocked up door. There's
like teeth like eyes, got like you, Like a lash
can tuckle you, and that's the words, like a tooth,
a tooth can do some damage, right, okay, got it? Okay,
(38:06):
So the soul, if the soul tries to escape from
the mouth, that does good injured. And also like the
ears gross, so waxy, nasty. Ears are so disgusting if
you think about it, Like when it comes to the
holes in the face, the eye is probably like the
best one, the most chic. Yes, respectable. Yeah, and most probably,
(38:27):
I don't know artistic. Also, yeah, it's it's everyone's eyes
is a signature, right, it tells, it tells their story,
and I think that's important. And like, I feel like
people don't not like hooded eyes. That's that's beautiful. Right,
I got a couple of those. I got headed eyes
I dream of, just like the giant exp like Greta.
(38:50):
Greta has the most non hooded eyes I've ever seen.
Look you can. It definitely is easier for makeup, right,
But I think it's kind of cool to have like
this nice little like layer of space. Yeah, it's like
they're uncircumcised eyes exactly. Can you get them? Can you
get the hooded eyes? Yeah, you definitely can, right, Yeah,
(39:12):
you can get in there a little snip snip, no
more hooded eyes, uncircumcised. I dont want to lose that sensitivity.
That's my favorite argument about about not getting circumcised, Like
(39:32):
you lose that sensitivity. Like I don't want my penis
to be more sensitive. It's too sensitive, ruining. I'm not
like over here with a curcised penis, Like, oh my god,
I can't feel anything nothing at all. Wow. Another dear
Owen Wilson. Exclusive exclusives don't stop, folks, they really don't, okay, alright.
(40:00):
According to Lucian Wiggles in August two thousand and seven,
Mary J. Blige was a guest star on the show
Entourage in the role of herself as a client of
Ari Golds. Do you agree that this role was below
her and that she should instead be treated like the
Oscar nominated star that she is. Yeah, she should have
(40:21):
been on Sex in the City. She should have replaced
all four women and it should have called it should
have been called Mary in the City or Mary's and
the City. And and like she they don't even like
do like the cut thing, Like she has to jump
into every role real quick. She has to throw in
(40:43):
a wig to be Samantha throwing another wig, And you
know what, I think it would have been a much
more fun show. Yeah, wow, wow, I didn't even think
of that. And now that you've brought it to the table,
I think that is a really really that idea has
some legs. Mary J. Blige being Samantha, like, oh, I
love sucking. And then she takes a wig off and
(41:04):
runs the other side of the table and puts on
the dark haired ladies Wig Charlotte's and it's like, wow,
that's too much sex. And then she's like, wow, no,
(41:26):
Charlotte's the prude. I gotta get married now. Okay, so
did you see and she would play Mr Big as well?
Oh god, because well, I guess we've never seen so
many have this much range. Well, the only person that
will still be in the cast is Steve. I think
that's the only person who just say, every else is
(41:46):
played by Mary really, Oh so you're a big Steve
Stan Not at all, not at all. I just think
he should just be there. He should need to learn
to learn, like as a p A or a guy
for like, not like I'm the wrong. I love I
(42:10):
really love Steve. But I think he's one of the
best characters. But my favorite character is Harry Golden Black,
Charlotte's second husband. Oh yes, the bald Jewish man who
always doesn't wear underwear with the shirt on and leaves
his tea bags on all of her nice tables. I've
seen one episode of Sexesses. Okay, Yeah, it seems like
you're a huge fan by all the ideas that you
(42:32):
are generating on this policy. I am. I didn't I
didn't haven't. I loved the episode I saw. I just
never got around. But I'm like the biggest fan, right right, yeah?
And you also just have a different vision for the
show with Mary. Yeah right, So like I feel like
that version is the right version, and that's the version
I've been thinking of. Sure, Okay, Um, that's very fair.
(42:53):
And um, did you or did you not? See Mary
on I don't know if I'm allowed to be calling
her Mary. I think I should go Mary j Blige?
Did you see did you see just see Mary j
Blige on Entourage? Um? I know I watched that episode
of television? Do I remember it? Unfortunately, because I felt
(43:17):
like that was definitely too big for her, especially like
just she should get better reps, right, Like that's are
you gold repre Mary J Blies? Doesn't make sense to me?
Right right? Okay, got it? It's like that in my universe. Yeah.
I also, you know I was one one. Let me say,
I'm so surprised. Lucien Wiggles wrote that question. It's wild
(43:40):
to think of um, seventy five years man who was
fishing for crawdads, right that question. But um, I also too,
I was going to be surprised if you had ever
seen Entourage. Well, I was like, I was near a
TV a lot in the early two thousand's, so can happen?
(44:01):
Like like, it's just like sometimes you just turn the
TV on, it's just Entourage, right, And Entourage was huge
at the time. I thought when I was young and
you know, oh, just coming out of Orange County and
you know I grew up in extreme toxic masculinity or
maybe just extreme masculinity. Um, and I was like, Wow,
this show is incredible. It's groundbreaking at the time because
(44:23):
I didn't have enough feminine influence in my life yet.
I was looking at it as like I need to
beat these men up eventually, So how how do I
take these men down? And then you watch every episode
like these men are incredibly weak. It'd be very easy
to take any one of them down. God, I thought
they were so like cool and hot at the time. Um.
(44:43):
Greta and I did run into Agian Grenier on a
hike two years ago, and I don't know if he
wanted to talk to us or if he genuinely was
extremely interested in Greta's dog, but he stopped and we
had a whole convo. Yeah, I saw him do karaoke
ones and I'm gonna tell you right now, not impressed.
(45:05):
Really was not impressed. That's why I can't do karaoke
in front of any of my gay friends. Because it's
the only song that I can sing genuinely. And it's
not because I can't carry a tune. I can. It's
purely because of my voice. If you guys can't believe it. Um,
the only song that I can actually sing is Heart
(45:27):
of Glass by Blondie. That's a fantastic song. Thank god,
I have one that's a good song, that's like one
of the best songs of all time. Yeah, but I
want to go off. It's a great song. Well when
I feel like those first like I wrote hard of
Past and then and I was you wrote you tell
(45:52):
me you wrote Heart of As And I was singing
it when I was buying I was a Walmart and
I was buying batteries. Uh, and it was I was
getting d batteries this time I was singing it to myself,
and Debor Harry was like the other end of the eye,
and she just took out a notepad and ripped off
(46:15):
your entire song and then became a star but I
have her soul, so we're good. These people need to
be jailed. I'm not satisfied that you just have their
soul like you got. You can't rip off artists, okay
people look No, I like her soul. Is a great
singer too, so that's good. I don't know, my god,
(46:36):
So if you ever want to hear, like like, if
you ever want to sing it to come over whenever.
Oh my god. Wow, that is actually a huge offer.
That is thrilling. Gone Bora now because of you know,
the whole incident. But that's Bora. I can't wait to
meet to Bora except you know, it does happen. Like
(46:58):
my Italian side has come out, like I feel upset
that these people you they're committing crimes. No, it's fine.
It's intellectual property. Look, heart of ass would have been
probably like a bigger hit, but it's fine. Heart of God.
And you got to be careful when you're buying batteries
(47:20):
because there are a lot of people out there trying
to steal from you. And I only go to Walmart
like four times. Ever, wow, just the case of the
wrong place at the wrong time. I guess um. All right, Well,
Solomon Mary's album What's the four one one? Got the
(47:43):
name from Mary's past occupation as a four one one operator?
Did you know that? Oh yeah you did you know that?
You invented the mainstream? Can you please on my cue?
Improvised a recreation of a situation in which Mary would
be working as a four one one operator and maybe, ah,
(48:04):
I could be the potential call. All right, let me
know when you're ready, okay, ringinging, Hi, thank you for
calling for when one is Mary J Blige? Wow? Hello, Mary,
I was just I was just wondering if you might
(48:24):
be able to connect me with um Adrian Grenier, oh
m from Entourage, the show Entourage is not out yet.
He's only like two years old right now. Oh but
(48:46):
I can Oh, my mistake, my mistake the show. Wow,
Oh my god, I'm not even born yet. So I'm
talking to barely a person. You're talking to a soul.
I guess someone's soul. Gosh, my bad, I really am
(49:08):
so I got egg on my face now I'm embarrassed.
But if you need to get directions to do hands
across America, I can tell you where it is in
your locale. Oh please, yes, thank you. It's so nice
to talk with you. Mary. You have a really beautiful soul.
I actually see extremely bright future for you. Yeah. You
know a lot of people say that, really a lot.
(49:30):
I do get that a lot. Like they just call
here to tell me that that's the only thing, Like
it's for one is for information, but like people give
me information to Right, are you wearing thigh high boots
right now? Hands down? I'm typing with my thigh boots.
Oh my god, you are so talented. You have to learn.
You have to just just because you're sitting down doesn't
(49:52):
mean you can't keep your thigh highs working or type
with your solettos. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay, Well, I guess I
gotta leave you be because I know you have a
lot of call is about your future. Yeah, thank you. Okay,
Well I just adore you and um, even though I'm
not born yet, I really think you're the best. Oh,
that's so kind of you. Hopefully you have a good
birth and no drama and no more drama. But wow,
(50:19):
that was really fun. Okay, Oh my goss, Solomon, God,
what old journey we have been on. That was crazy.
I have changed forever. Holy shit. You know, we learned
a lot of things today. Yeah, and thank god I
had you on right in the beginning of the podcast
so that we could set a precedent for the rest
of the guests. You know, I'm serious. Yeah, good good
(50:43):
luck to them. Seriously, I wish them well. I pray
for them, because I don't know how anyone is going
to follow this. I don't I don't recommend it. I
sure don't either. Maybe I should retire it after this episode.
That would be a good idea. I do have one
segment left before you go thereeree. This will be a
(51:15):
segment once this thing absolutely launches off the ground into
podcasts oblivion, which you know, I know is a niche market,
and I will absolutely explode in I will be having
a listeners call in with their fan on the street encounters.
But I'm wondering until then, if you have a fun
(51:35):
celebrity encounter that you'd like to talk about, tell right,
all of them taught a lot of them. Um. I
did once serve t to Nicole Kidman, and you did
like it was. She was like porcelain. She was more
delicate than the cup. Really, that makes sense to me.
(51:58):
That was a moment to watch, right, her performance and
drinking tea in a blackma on Tuesday and Tuesday afternoon.
Probably one of the great performances ever seen. And I
think she should have got an oscar for that. Yeah,
I agree. You know, she has like extreme ballerina energy.
It was very like it was like it's almost like pain,
Like I was like, is the cup hurting you? Like
(52:18):
I was gonna like I was. It was very like,
it was very like I was really concerned. It's like
it was too heavy. Oh my god, that's a really
good one. So I like that to know that Nicole
in her free time likes to go take in some art.
M Oh no, she didn't go to the museum. She
just came in for the tea. You know, I was there.
(52:40):
That makes sense. She probably wanted to steal from you.
Oh yeah, but she have to exhauses on so that's see,
that's she knew. Oh okay, she's smart. God wow, thank
god for this by m J B. God, I have
a real one that happened to me that I am
going to exhaust my few celebrity encounter stories that are
(53:02):
non comedian based. Um in the first handful of episodes,
but one time, this is real. I had just moved
to New York and my long distance boyfriend. The other
one I told was also during the same visit that
my long distance boyfriend was visiting me, and I just
moved he was there. We were walking in Times Square
(53:23):
hand in hand and holding hands, and it was very hot,
like very crowded, and the traffic was going one mile
whole hour, and there was this black suv next to
me and this sees me holding hands and is just
saying the most wild things to me, very sexual things,
(53:46):
and I'm just like, very uncomfortable. And then my boyfriend
whatever looks over, stop singing about whatever he was doing,
looks over, and I was like, oh my god. DMX
goes over, goes over, sha his hand And that was
a fun moment. Yeah, you know what I mean. I
(54:07):
didn't like it the moment it was happening because I
didn't know, but then after I was like, oh that guy,
come on, you know who let the dogs out? Yeah? Yeah,
I like DMX, I do I like him? Rest in peace? Yeah? Well, god,
I think we covered it all. And we love Mary J. Blige,
(54:29):
we love Solomon Slash the mainstream, and what a gift
it was to have you on this podcast. Yeah, I'm
so happy to be here. It was a gift for me. Well,
we have a lot to discuss on the next time
we see each other. Way too much to discuss, alright, Pat,
thanks for coming on. Okay Cha
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