Discussing No Holes Barred w/ Passport Cutty

OUT NOW “No Holes Barred: A Dual Manifesto Of Sexual Exploration And Power” w/ Tempest X!
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
decision decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty.
You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.
You want to say together, decisions decisions. I am passport cutting.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
I am an author like Coach and.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Missing Ones. Huh talka former hope and before us.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Okay, we gonna get into that author we ever had
on the podcast podcaster.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
In you and everybody. I don't even only was on
my notes. Okay, some of you might remember me from
one of their first episodes.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
It was them interviewing me about my first book, that
m and Manas for Money. So that's why I'm so
to be here to be talking to them about their
first book, No Holds barn is a dual manifesto of
such exploration and power, and I had the luxury and

(01:17):
the privilege of reading it twice already. Then if you are,
if you've been listening for a long long time. We
had another episode we did that was we talked about
something that super time.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
But we're gonna get into that later.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
But this dynamic duo they did something super disruptive. They
built community, They built safety, exploration, identity fun and.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
For me a bubble educated. So I love these ladies.
The book has a lot of layers. It's very sexy
but smart, and it's very wild.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
But why Okay, so we are gonna get I'm just
taking it.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Why why?

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Why?

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Sexy but smart?

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Okay, So I'm gonna tell you guys what I love
about the book personally, right, So I usually love memoirs
and self help. I used to read all the rodicts,
so but this is all of them in one. So
it really is a pleasure to like get a dose
of everything all at once. And I'm just so I

(02:36):
was more surprised by the education part of it because
there was still stuff that I did not know, and
I was looking it up on Google right like words
and you guys did a good job at explaining a
lot of things that you thought that people weren't going
to know. But there was still something I didn't know. Abrosexual.
So it's called hey bro ay go sexual.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
So so what's crazy about that one is we ended.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Up even talking about that in an episode. I just
think all of the labels that go onto our sexualities,
like anyone kild like say.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
Oh, maybe you're not that maybe you're not that.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
What I've noticed is, though, specifically for me, from when
I first started having sex with sixteen years old all
the way to now is that there's been ebbs and
flows of what I've been into and it's changed.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Y'all are the name for that now?

Speaker 2 (03:23):
A sexual is the ability to kind of be fluid
with so sorry, fluid with your sexual identity.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
So the the privilege.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Now to be able to change and be like, no,
I know I was this way at one point. It
doesn't define me now. Saw that word, thought it was
phenomenal and threw it off. Another one was compersion, which
you do you do? People so tired of hearing me
say that it is my favorite word, and it's so compersion.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
If y'all listen to the show clap if you know
the word.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Then we out dick sucking story. Confersion means that you're
taking pleasure and someone else receiving pleasure, so much like
a cuk hoole the cook queen, someone that just enjoys
knowing that their partner is also enjoying.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
And a lot of.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
Times in non monogamy you actually have to really practice
conversion knowing that someone is having fun by having an
experience that's outside of you. And so I'm not saying
I'm one hundred percent good at confersion, but there eighty.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
I also didn't know what M D M A was MD?
Is that a drug? I'm telling you all this man
stuff like that, I still don't know.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
I'm not gonna hold you as a New York girl.
Half of the stories I like to be like, I
was high some of this.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's actually a lot didn't hit that hard.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, so well that look, the proof is that those
words that suck out to me, you're gonna stick out
to you as well. All Right, So it's vulnerable, it's personal,
it's transparent, it's funny, and it has a lot of personality.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
And I'm gonna be honest with you.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
You have to read it, but you also have to
listen to me, Like you can't just do one, because
I did both, right, So you.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Had time to listen to it, yea ten hours?

Speaker 3 (05:21):
I know.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
I was at the cool old day.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
No, I waked up at five am, you do. I
had from five am all the way till I got
here too, Okay, But also in the book, I was
reading a school yesterday again, and when you when you
were writing, okay, can I can I ask you someone
who's listened to it, because I'm surprised we have someone
who has just your thoughts on kind of while reading

(05:48):
it and hearing it the emotion that was conveyed. Because
for me and if y'all are patrons, I've talked about it,
Recording this book was the hardest thing I've done professionally.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
She tried to warm me. I was like, bit y'all
talked for a little long time.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Listen, did y'all record the audio book? And she was like, no,
we're about to do that in like two days or something.
I said, I'm just want to know right now. She
warned me, you don't feel like you don't.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Know how to read. I didn't know how to talk.
I didn't know how to read. There was there was
there were.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
There were chapters that were so easy to write. And
then when I was speaking there a bitch got choked. Well,
you can't choke up.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
I can't read. So like it was like the emotion
that she still wanted it.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
But I'm like, oh, ship, like the chapter like my
abortion chapter was I wrote that in like a day,
Like that was I knew I wanted to share that
story with everything happening, and before writing it, I had
a therapy session.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
I interviewed my mom, I interviewed my friend Peter whop
me pay well. I wanted to say, though the audio
version of it, we don't.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
I didn't I talk about this before the audio version
of that chapter, which was my easiest. A bitch broke
broke down in the in the recording version of it.
So I don't know if you were you able to
were you, I would.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Have hear it all that you can. You can hear.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
The personality and emotions behind all of the top, like
sometimes super exciting, you know, like it's easy.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
They'll they'll they'll know.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
This book because the most uncomfortable thing to read was
not a sault, nothing like that. It was this sentence
in front of I would say he was maybe mid
fifties Latino, dude. I'm recording this audio book in LA
and there's a glass wall with the person saying no,
go ahead, weezy and just you know, stick with the
same cadence.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
And I remember it because I was like, you're gonna
take him a while because it's in the session.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
Oh girl, you're engineering my ultimate fantasy had always been
getting fucked while eating.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
Pussy looking at me on they're not telling y'all. He
really sat there and he goes, this is it's really
gonna touch.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
It's when you get this industry like nothing is surprises
people sometimes like they've heard it all, like in music,
but especially engineers, they.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Like not Miguel that man said, whoa hear from? Like man? Yeah?
Like right yeah. And so just to describe the setting,
we were in rappers going there.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
Music people go in there to do advertisements like things
like that, like commercials and voiceovers. So to have someone
just sit there with you and hear ten hours of
your book, it was interesting. And also tell you can't
read yes, yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Got so many words wrong. Yeah I read the word
two twelve.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
He was like you have to also I wrote words
and I was like, how you say this?

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, now that's what I need to tell when when
it got to.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
I was like naevity, like when I was recording mind.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yes, So you know our co author shout out to
Texas egg here on Tempest is Bright.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
She really like took our books to another level by
helping this add like depth and dimensions to this book
and one of the words that I can read use
my brain got stuck that I can tell tenthist with
jammed in the homogens and I say hold.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
On Jesus and yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
So two things that popped out for me in this
book that I feel like were major themes for you
guys individually separate were for you, Mandy, it was shame,
and then for you it was jealousy. And I want
to know, like for me, I felt like those are

(09:46):
two themes that a lot of people don't admit.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
But that's the part of self help, you.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Know, like when you are trying to really like get
to know yourself and change things about yourself, you gotta
admit things that are uncomfortable. So I want to know,
at what point did you guys feel like you could
admit like.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Oh shit, I'm jealous when I see him with her
or her with him, or you know, like when did
jealousy beat something that you were able to own?

Speaker 2 (10:15):
And for you the shame you were like the shame
of you know, my friends judging me if I wanted
to leave with the guy or if I wanted you know,
like I was on a date and like I felt
excited about it, but you know, like I didn't want
anybody else to like judge me about it, So you
guys can answer respect me.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
I'll start with jealousy.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
You know, for anyone to listen to this show, whether
you're a monogamous or not a monogamous, the constant conversation
you have with yourself is jealousy. I've been in relationships
where my partner dated no one else and I was
jealous of the misdeader to work with. So I think
that jealousy is something you can be able to face. Yeah,
when it can be accepted. Because here's the thing. I
just had this conversation with my partner recently where I said,

(10:57):
sometimes I get scared to tell you if I'm jealous
because I don't want you to say this isn't for us.
I need to just be able to get it out.
You said, I'll be jealous of my best friend's mama.
Ever want his mama?

Speaker 1 (11:09):
Like that's how much I love this.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
I have two best friends right now, and I'm gonna
tell you right now. Brianda had to give me a warning,
don't get upset. I'm gonna be hanging out with some
of a woman. One of my best friends andre if
he has another homegirl, just that whatever.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
Were you ever? Did you ever deny that part about
you yourself? Or did you always? Because you know what
we've done?

Speaker 2 (11:33):
And jealousy as weakness. If you are a jealous person,
you're weak and you're insecure.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Whatever. If I don't say this.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Out loud, then it just sits there and throws into
your resentment. So I think that the first step in
how can someone be able to help you?

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Because now that my partner knows like a philography, what
does he do now?

Speaker 2 (11:52):
Affirmation, reaffirming our relationship, you have to say these things,
and so I think just admitting the jealousy with confidence
is what you better do. Somenoy. It was so break
think like of you to put that, because most people
deny it and you cannot help. You can't self help,
You can't ask your therapist for tools or anything if

(12:12):
you don't admit that you have these feelings deep down inside.
So I love that you talk about and you openly
say like, I'm just I wanted to make sure that
she wasn't gonna enjoy him.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Her was more than better than reason. He hasn't it
better than you? So me, let me tell you timing matters.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Had this book came out a year or two ago,
I wouldn't be able to stay here and like it,
because I would have gagged over to the.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Soulmate Nigga that I thought I was with, like he had.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
So many he had so many parts of this book
in our proposal because I was like, I found in love,
I found my and I would I would have hated
that this book came out and I, you.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Know, immortalized him in that way.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
And so for me, when we had the opportunity of
the book come to us, I have just gotten into
therapy and so during the pandemic, I had a lot
more time to sit with myself. And when it came
to this book, we really wanted to lean into the
iroonica and I was fine with that, but I was like, bitch,
I there's a lot of shit out and did and
said on this podcast that I hate with my like,

(13:24):
I hate it, and I know that there's like a
con complation. That's the word conflate. You could conflate being liberated.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
Florida education, y'all known. But when you talk.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
About being liberated, which is what this platform, which is
what Horrible.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Decisions was based upon a lot of times they don't.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Allow us as liberated, free women to admit our faults,
to to actually admit the shame and decisions that we
made a past that we've grown from. A lot of
people just want to keep us in whatever bubble they
want us to stay in, And for me, I was like, bro,
I ain't even gonna hold you.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
There's no way I'm writing this book.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
Telling women to have sex for this amount of money
and view men in this way because I've now been
able to experience viewing men in such a beautiful way
and experiencing intimacy and ways that I didn't in the
beginning that I was like, bro, like, I'm not going
to tell the younger generation or women in my age
to think the way that I thought when we first
started this show.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
And there was just a lot.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Of trauma that I was overcoming and ways in which
I thought, like, there's a whole chapter about me being
a side chick, and I think, well, they like me
more than they white cuz they telling the truth to me,
and that the rhetoric was so dumb. And so I'm
literally in the book realizing a bit you ain't have
no self worth. Ah, but you actually thought that you
couldn't be a priority to a man, which is why

(14:53):
you fell by the wayside. There was a lot of
reflection that had to happen, and to me, this book
wouldn't exist without me being able to share that part
of my journey. And luckily we got to a point
where we knew we were writing two different stories. Weeze
isnt a place where two THI bitch this meet and
I'm like, well, this is me and I really want
to be able to include the parts of me that

(15:14):
regret a lot of decisions that I made.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
We will read a.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Lot of those chapters and think, and there's gonna be
someone because God forbid you sexually liberated and can have growth.
You better not be a bitch that was out there
having a good time fucking. And now you're gonna tell
us you're credited. Well, hold on, I can't have one
moment in my life. Oh no, there's a lot.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
I got good, two, three, But yeah, So that to me,
like this book, it was important.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
And our team over at Simon and Schuster too, Once
they started reading our stories, They're like, well, the readers
are reading your stories.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
But because we were so.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Adamant on making sure that people could pick up this book,
whether they were fans of horrible decisions, decisions decisions or not.
They were like, well, what would you tell your reader then?
And so we I literally had a lot of calls
with our publisher about well what.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Can you give your reader?

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Like readers like to take something away and yes they're
hearing your stories, Well what can you give them? So
we went back and really tried to tell you guys, well,
had I done this, maybe I would have gotten a
better results. So hopefully you do this, or here's a
way to shoot your shot. And there's just different parts
of self help in there that help you guys make
better decisions than us.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yes, it's very informational education.

Speaker 4 (16:33):
Let speaking of.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
Shame, I have a story to share. So I remember
earlier when I said about one of.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
The episodes, yep, it was actually episode one sixteen period.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
She been here a long time, hundreds now.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
So for myself, as someone who made a name for
myself on the Internet being raunchy, vulgar, uh table like
talk about taboo topics, they took such stuff to a
whole another leven. I'm vanilla compared to everybody goes. I
was wild for talking about and he's and all that stuff,

(17:13):
but when they came out, y'all made me feel like,
oh again.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
You're one of my favorite stories of all. And before this,
I was like, I don't know anything that you guys
are talking about, Like I was so green.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
Compared to like the stories that were being shared on
the question a y feud.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Don't mind how old you guys?

Speaker 2 (17:40):
Oh, by the way, y'all just heard us on the
Breakfast Club this morning and puld.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Out not sure why waunch you guess because I'm scared.
I gotta thirty four BULI. Yeah, okay, So.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
Back in twenty nineteen, I went to India and I
want to go get him.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
I'm not gonna tell the whole story. I'm just gonna
tell what happened.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
So I went to India.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
I went to go get a massage.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
I swear to god, I really thought I was going
for massage. I'm not like, I really was going for massage.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
And it ended with a happy ending right now, Okay.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
I was so excited that just happened to me because.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
For me, it was like a story to tell, right,
did I want the person who did it to me?

Speaker 2 (18:42):
To do it to me, But I had a story
to tell, like this is a life story that's like
fire to me, right. But I was in India with
a friend who was in the other room and she
was propositioned with the same situation and she was hortified.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
So she when we left out the room, she's like,
oh my god, tell.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
And so because she was so mortified, I was too
embarrassed to tell her that I got it done. So
I was like, let's go, you know, but I couldn't
wait to stay home and tell me didn't read it.
And the thing about it is is that that goes
to show you the safe space, right, like you know

(19:28):
your time, you know where you could go, no judgment.
And I told everybody, all of my father when I
was like, you want to.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
Hear the story, you go listen to this show, right,
because we were like you live.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
Because I could have told the story on my life
or on you know, my page or whatever. I was like, no,
I'm going to tell that and I'll never forget because
you asked me a question on that episode said she said,
what you look like?

Speaker 1 (19:54):
I said, God, damn it, he wasn't kissed. I said,
I was gonna leave that part out. I was like,
or not, but I was thinking Indian marriage.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Listen, y'all want to go back LANDI was not figuring
her with.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Didn't listen to it. But the point that God, can
I rap your pussy ma'am? Yes?

Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yes, that validation guys in any way, to know that
people feel like they can only share their like intimate
deep and dark and secrets because of you and with you.
I mean, I think if if y'all go back. There
was a moment in time and I hated that I

(20:44):
like maybe called this on me. I called myself like
the bullhole whisperer. At one point, every guy that was
in my phone wanted they butt like they wanted to
be bad.

Speaker 4 (20:55):
Was opening up about like like literally, but we were
also like sharing with me all of these fantasies or
experiences or things that they had actually done sexually with.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Either trans women or other men and all of these things.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
And I started being like, Yo, I hate that I'm
being told this because they're not given this safe space
by the women that they're actually dealing with.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Because I wasn't dagonal.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, oh like I've been old, but I'm talking but
these weren't my partners. They were like some lovers and
so but it made me feel like, damn, like, there's
all of these men that I'm talking to, because I
was talking to a lot and a lot of times,
and I'm like, WHOA, I don't think they have these
safe spaces with their previous partners, with maybe whoever else

(21:42):
they're engaging in, with whoever else they're talking to. And
for me, it made me feel like, Wow, this is
powerful because I've only talked to black guys in my
entire life, and so for me to know that they
don't really have that safe space, it made me feel
powerful to be able to create that for.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Them and then for my friends.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
I'll share another story because I wasn't allowed to share
on air, so we might need to cut this off.
But one of my other homegirls, you saiday, a very
famous rapper that got locked.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Up, and it's you'll never get that while they were together.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
Like clearly, how they were intimate with each other were
through words, and so she would text me.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
This is when I was in college. So I'd be
in the middle of class.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
And she'd be like, ooh, girl, text them, like text
me song sexy to see him. So I would literally
be the person to like even open up their verbal
communications sexually because she wasn't and she'd read those and be.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Like, grat do you think like that? And I was like,
you have to think.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
And so for my friends, they've been able to come
to me with not only their health but their sexual
dilemmas and men that I've dated to me, it's one
of the powers I feel like I have and being
able to exist how I do.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
So I do just want to leave you with this,
for the women in this.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
Room typically who have had the joys of being liberated
or even just experimenting with their sexuality, creating that safe
space for any guy to even share that with you
and not yuck, they're young because whether you liked it
or not, however you identify, you got to enjoy that experience.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
You got to have that experience.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
And I don't think we allow black men as much
to exist or have those experiences. And we're up here
being able to talk like this because y'all welcome this conversation.
We have to welcome our brothers as well. Yeah, oh no,
that was real deep, my man. I got really gat questions,
which is about power, which is one of the major

(23:42):
themes of the book, but you guys talk about it
very differently. You talk about it in a more like
like have you just said, I'm have power over he's been,
I'm betting them over.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
I'm doing you doing your thing?

Speaker 2 (23:57):
And then I love the part where you talk about
submission having power, but we do do that differently. Yeah,
the situation you said, the person who's the submission actually
is basically calling the shots about what they want, you know. Yeah, Like,
so any guy's gonna talk about pick that up?

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I know I can.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Like I appreciate that because a lot of the times
when reading this book, I think you're not going to
pull the power from that section.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
And a lot of time.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
In conversation about VIDSM, where do we think that the
person that's on their knee is just this, Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
I feel so bad for her. She's giving her as well, bitch.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
We they want the I want that, you know, well
not well people years have interviewed so many doms that
want women to experience this in a safe way, And
I think the most beautiful part of my BDSM story
is that luckily I got to be with someone that
was actually a dom, not only what were they a

(25:00):
dom for a long time, but they were a dom
that didn't take their dominating pleasures into into play when
it came to me.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
So, for example, I found out later he likes to suffocate.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Women That didn't even come up with me because when
I was sent to checklist, it was something that I
put up right, So he didn't even tell me this.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
I thought this out years later. That was his cake.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
So really just his pleasure was being able to dominate
and please someone that liked to be a sub.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
And when we Ceddy is talking about the power.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
I know you guys can get to read that, yet
I talk about how I asked for everything I wanted. Yeah,
there wasn't anything that happened to me that wasn't No,
there wasn't anything that made me feel uncomfortable. And there
was also power in the safe word. And I think
that women get so scared to ask for something that
they want because it seems like if you're giving yourself

(25:47):
to someone, then you have no power to me.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
It is much like the One Night's dand you could
either do a walk of shame or you were like pride.
And I've been now with both, I've.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
Definite only left some one department of be like, oh
my god, I'm so i'mbarissed. I can't believe I'm not
fanna tell my friends. And then there became woman of Confidence,
where I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Same outfit, drug, I'm just new dress. Do I care?

Speaker 2 (26:14):
I want to add to what she's saying, because this
is currently a conversation of pop culture. Shout out to
our twenty seven white listeners because I'm about to bring
up a white woman, but the conversation right now, I'll
I'll see it.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
But it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
It's crazy because there's a conversation right now happening around
Sabrina Carpenter's new album cover where she's on her knees
and she's you know, and she's in this thing and
so knowing that like she's in a submissive stance not
to shout out my friend, but to shout out my friends.
So on around the way curls. This week, they literally
talk about how as a woman who's in a relationship,

(26:57):
yeah it's powerful to be submissive, but maybe the views
on single women doing these things don't hold the lens.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
To it being as powerful as it really is.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
And so when submission is done, safely consensually with a
DOM who values your your boundaries. The power is actually
in the sub because the sub says no, the sub
says when it's too much.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
The sub like will do what?

Speaker 2 (27:21):
Oh look what makes them feel well, which makes the
DOM be excited, Like when I be Ben and the
niggas over Like, it's powerful for me, but they're in
a space where they're safe, and it becomes powerful for them.
So I just hate that what we do be taking
away the power from submissus. But I'd say all that
to say, like, I love that we've been able to

(27:43):
have that type of dialogue around those two spaces within
BDSU specifically for that, you know, I want to add
to this as far as power. Yeah, the walk of
shame to hit the walker pride right. Both times that
night started with me wanting to have such a something.
The difference in the first and that I wasn't both
is that I got over that bullshit of feeling bad

(28:04):
about enjoying sex. That is not what I thought you
were gonna say. I thought it only becomes like a
walk of shame when it's dead. No, didn't even think
and be like what I allowed to say, because when
it's good like saying I'm not like I thought.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
I felt ashamed of the sex I had the night before.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
It was genuinely because I was the phase of my
life where I felt like I shouldn't be doing that,
or I should be looking for a relationship, or oh
I fucked him on the second date not the third day.
There was so many rules in my head instead of
just enjoying. You know, and like, I think that as
people that want to explore ourselves, we think, Hey, if
I want a relationship, I gotta be doing things intentionally.

(28:48):
I can't have sex with someone for five because I
want to get married and have a husband.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
Well, you need let me tell you something. They could
be yourself made.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
It is in the book, and it's so import to
show you. This line is in the love chapters.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
In the final chapter of the book, I was answer
to my home brow not a snort.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
I don't know if I had a snort.

Speaker 5 (29:11):
So about dating and I'm like, girl, when is it happened?

Speaker 1 (29:24):
I don't understand. I went to therapy. I'm here with
the fuck bitch.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
She's like, girl, what if you found out this was
your last summer?

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (29:33):
What if it was your last summer single, wouldn't you
want to do a little self about the ending? Because
I was like, ship, I want to get I want
some fun stuff to happen before you, like it's open.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Hello, you like you gonna still be having fun. I'm
don't share. Of course, you share with your person. You
gotta think about it.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
So yes, by the time you meet your person, right,
you got to assume that your person you he's the
one that's going to accept all of those flaws, all
of those stories. Me I'm not even really be saying that,
but I'm like, yo, let me take you bout their
sugar daddy your hair?

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Is he gonna do it? Excommunicate me? You're a girl.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
But you're saying, like before you tied the knot or
something like that, you mentioned I.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
Think that if you're marrying the right person, they know
all that shit. That's yeah, we mention that matter of fact. Yeah,
this to me hit me.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
It's like we've been we mentioned ship since I was
twenty six.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah, I have talked about that. We got an art.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
I feel like that's for the moment they hit me like,
all right, I'm with the right person. Last week, while
we were in France, ran into a home rob Now
since I was seventeen years old. She's sitting in front
of my man like, let me say an d and
we was walking down the street Miami and then she was
doing this and there was not something she could say
that would have made me scared. I was sitting there
look at her like, oh yeah, hahaha. Imagine you're with

(30:57):
a partner that you're like this, but she.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Still gotta make me out.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
And so that's the thing about it, right, if you're
the right person to be, Yeah, Kennedy say, I'm not
gonna post some crazy ship on my close friends about
you can't no, baby, I don't get my girl like,
And that's the thing.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Anything she would have said, he already knew about it.
That's even if you never heard the story.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
That's saying you know that your person, you gotta know
you've either lived a life you've had, but they have
to accept you for that.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Why are we gonna an if you don't nix.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
There's a lot of why anybody that don't make us
feel bad about living life. Yeah, And I think that
that's what we talk about in the book, Like at
the end of the day, like there's a period at
the end of each chapter. And I said this on
the Records Club. There's a period at the end of
each chapter. But probably next year we can add to
each chapter in this book. Like it's still an ongoing journey,

(32:00):
but like we're not.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
It's starting.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
It ain't turning into a pro because the white people here.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Are you bad at this? All right?

Speaker 2 (32:22):
Let me ask you that the question what's one of
the truths that you were scared to write?

Speaker 1 (32:27):
Honestly, my shame, okay, I was.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
I was like, ooh, I gotta say I was insecure,
and I gotta say I didn't value myself. I didn't say, bitch,
you ain't you was a workless piece of ship. Like literally,
I put myself in situations that at one point I
spoke so proudly of when deep down inside you, I
didn't feel good about it, right, And so for me,

(32:52):
I think that was the hardest thing to put the paper.

Speaker 1 (32:54):
Was like, oh, yeah, bitch, you you claim.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
To have been confident this whole time and was happy
your body and was doing this and no, you were
seeking validation for men and you're dumb, bitch, yeah, And
so like to me, it was holding up.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
The mirror and really being able.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
To be like, Okay, you weren't as strong as you
first showed everyone that you were. You weren't as confident,
and it was really sitting with the fact that, Okay,
well I learned from it.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
It's important for you to put it in here.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
But I think even a part of the book saying
it about myself, like the audio version was, it was like, ooh, okay, mirror,
all right, you did that.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
I'm glad you're grown, but whoam together?

Speaker 2 (33:35):
Of course, that's gonna help everybody or anybody who reads it,
you know, because if they're feeling experience, if they're experiencing
that same thing, you know, they can figive themselves as well.
And a lot of women this is gonna be problematic
take but I'm seeing it unconscious because of what I
said on the Brooks Club.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
Accountability is hard for a lot of us. Yes, And
so when.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
We stay in relationships too long, when we're with a
person that we know is not good for us in hindsight,
we could sit here and blame that person for all
the things and can blame them forever and be it's
so upset, like, oh, you did this to me, you
did this to me, and we don't often look at
the things we do to ourselves, Well, why were you there?
It's because, bitch, you thought that maybe that was the

(34:16):
best you could get, because you didn't think higher of yourself.
And so for me, having like gone through the therapy
and writing this book, it was a lot of that.
It was like, oh, you was a proud side chick
because you ain't think a man really wanted you.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
So you took the crumbs because you didn't think you
could have a whole cake.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
And so to me, that's the part about women when
we can blame our access for being pieces of shit.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
We could blame men, We could blame women for like
being who they are. However we date right, but there has.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
To be a moment where we look at ourselves and
ask or or figure out, well, you say you were there,
like and why why didn't you leave when you saw
the first red flags?

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Why did you think? Talking about breaks? And I after?
But what I did not think that chapter was that great?
I mean it was just like my ex waiter or whatever.
Wait the more, that's the way you're talking about. No, no, no,
I'm saying the more. Yeah, and when you know you

(35:17):
stay too long, Oh, Okay. The more I talk about.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
It and interviews and ship every people are like, oh yeah,
Like I say, in relationship to him, I got a
homegirl right now. Every time I called him, like you
leave any yet, she can't say. I'm talks about oh
my god, he getting wait every week, Oh.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
My god, my friends in the back. No, I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
At the end of the day, she's not ready to go. Yeah,
and she's staying too long. And we have all been
there men too. We've been in relationships where like all
my homeboys are staying. In a relationship to him, like, man,
I feel bad, she'd go and do it.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Oh this just happened. I don't know what to do.
It's just easier to stay.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
It's like, for some reason, leaving feels like the task
to do eas Henna study without marriage, it feels like
you need to get reiversed for something.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
So some sometimes people stay because they're waiting. Oh okay,
I'm investing. I'm gonna leave here. I'm waiting. I will say.
I know you think about when it was good?

Speaker 2 (36:15):
Are you like that me that that was That's probably
one of the dumbest things that I think we grew
up learning like to me, like the fact that love
is hard and you got to chase them the way
you have to work for it, like all of those
negative like tropes around love to me is what I
talk about, Like I don't even like saying a word. Now.
I love my friends, but these niggas, I don't know

(36:35):
about that. So like for me, though, it's because that
word is attached to such toxicity in romantic partnerships that
it's made me resent the word.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
It's it's surface level.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
It's something that you say, but the actions behind it
don't often exist. And then once you say it, you
feel tied into this relationship over a thing that what
is it?

Speaker 1 (36:59):
I don't know love is y'all. So, by the way,
when you read the book, thought I'm out to note,
I don't. I don't know what it is like. And
I have my hang ups with that word specifically because
of the use of it.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
But wasn't you Weasy who said something about at least
it was better than that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, you know, Oh, it's not physical abuse, it's not so.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
One of the conversations, Caudy, it's crazy. So that didn't
I just say that a few hours ago? Literally we
just recorded, so because we've been working, I ran into
my ex and it was crazy because I maybe he
said a week before, I haven't seen any years. And
it's been on my mind because this chapter. Everyone that
interviews us is like, damn, he was terrible. But then

(37:47):
when I'm writing a chapter, I'm.

Speaker 1 (37:48):
Like, why did I think he was that bad?

Speaker 2 (37:50):
I'm like, oh, well, I've been in physically abused the relationship.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
He wasn't whipping my ass, he was cheating, So if
I let the fuck girls anyway, what's the big deal?
He just lied?

Speaker 2 (38:00):
And then the other thing was I've been in emotionally
if used relationship. People didn't mean to me, never yelled
at me.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
We have fun.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Am I really in a bad relationship? He's just fucking bitches?
But at the end of the day, I never thought
or had it clicked, Oh, he's disrespecting me, he's lying
to me, he's not telling me the truth.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
And not only when is he not telling you truth?
When he when they find.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
Out or have a conversation with him, He's like, I
don't care about them. I mean, we're gonna be there,
so you know, it's just I didn't.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Tell you you lucky, see. But other women. Bos just
didn't tell you, So it's not that bad and I'd really.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Say that, And that's the thing we start to think
because it's not as bad as something else I said
on the breakfast Clob the other day. Comparison is the
thief of joy, but it's also the reason that we
sometimes get joy. Let's just say your man cheated on it.
You're gonna say, well, my homegirl got cheated on three
times last he didn't do that.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
It's rationalized so much much.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
It's only do this thing of like, well not this
instead of what did I set out for myself if
I made a list of the things I need from
a man or the lady break that w We don't
to stop acting like there's not that many people out there, yeah,
because they're actually is and we make.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Bro let me tell you something.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
There is there there girl living?

Speaker 1 (39:24):
This is crazy? Where and how.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
Was your favorite place to start to write? Like where
did the juices flow at?

Speaker 1 (39:41):
Like? What was great question?

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Because I know my story so I know like how
it started coming, so I want to know what that.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
Is for you.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Guy. This is gonna be so cliche, the fucking stories
about sex. No, but where where there were you that
made you, like, made it come to you sometimes before
the proposal. No, when we're supposed to write the book,
it's like you have to find the time, you have

(40:13):
to find the spider.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
Yeah, oh man, Like, was it.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
Like in the bed on the plane, on the toilet
in the nine Do you remember the thing about the
toilet when I texted my friends and my man love you.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm telling you the
toilet and the beach.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
So I went out with my friends, uh, tow them
out here. We did some asked it in Mexico and
when they asked subsided, I said the drug.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
So I'm there.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
I'm in this moment of just gratitude for friendship and love.
And I got on the beach and on my phone
started to write right about how it yes, okay in
the notes section of my phone, and I remember my
phone was dying and I'm like, and they're charging my
phone on the time, like, I got to get this out,

(41:06):
And I think there was something about a moment of
release because it was very hard. Our editor Michelle's here
and to the sexes here and we're like, okay, we
gotta get this chapter out by Saturday.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
That ship.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
It makes it harder because now you can't be authentic
because you got a deadline and we.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Ain't meet them deadline. So that second fired.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
I'm not a deadline person. May and you tell me Saturday,
I'm like, no, I'm gonna buck.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
Y'all to cut it off, like you want the email thrust.
I'll tell you this. The publishing day eight the same.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
It's fine if I needed my time, need my time
to make magic, and.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
And it was what it was, so be that as
it May, I really did need time.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Without and she came down off the high started like
because what happened was I got to like be out
of this I need to finish my book brain instead
of like this book is fun.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Right, So the second you know, I went out with
friends and had fun.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
I got to have this release of like, oh this
one it was like to have a good time, and
I hadn't felt that because the book went through ebbs
and flows of fun for right, Like I went through
a really serious hard time at the end of the
book that you'll read and talk about suicide and depression.
So it's like I gotta go back to this.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Let's just say I'm having a good day, Oh man,
I go back to the death chapter. I wanted to
kill myself.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
That ship was hot. You know.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
Everybody's saying you're like talking about.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
You know, So it's really that, it's like finding the
sweet spot of making this book pleasurable to write, is
gonna make it a good reason, And it was your.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Place, so y'all know, I'm very yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
So once the proposal was done and I knew all
the chapters I was gonna write mentally, I saw with
which ones would be the easier mentally for me.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
So I went through with that first. I was like, okay.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
I went through the ones with tempests. I said, these
are gonna be tough for me. I'm gonna do therapy
sessions for those and I'll record them. So eventually, if
y'all are patrons, I have recorded therapy sessions for certain
chapters that I planned to.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
I don't know if I'm gonna narrate them.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
I said, I want this process recorded, and so I
went through certain therapy sessions.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Crime who all the shame had to go through therapy sessions.
So the ones that were easy were the ones like
around sex.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
Ironically, the abortion chapter was fairly easy, and so my
process was Okay, if I need therapy, I go to
therapy first. Next with tempests, would come to my house
and we put like four hour blocks. Literally, she would
come to my house for four hours. We'd do a
mid lunch and like basically.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
What she came over to do was to give me
to talk how do I want this chapter? Lay out?
What is the theme, what is the arc, what emotions
do you want to resonate? What do you want from
the reader.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
And she would sit there and help me decide how
we would write, like how it should flow as a chapter.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Then she's like, Okay, here's how we said you're gonna
write it, so go write it.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
So after those four hours, we'd normally do it for
like two chapters at a time, sometimes three, and she'd
be like, okay, so here's your story.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
Here's how you want to tell it. Now put it
to computer.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
So what I would do actually is because I'm a
morning person, like an idiot, I get my goddamn coffee.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
I would wake up.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
I scheduled the days that I would write, and so
I would wake up, prepare to write, prepare to tell
these stories. I'd get my coffee, sit at my sit
at my dining room table and just type, and sometimes
I had it in me. Oftentimes I'd be Okay, bitch,
I need a break. I'm eight pages in. Let me
call my friend and talk honestly too. I've loved it

(45:04):
cutties here, and that's why I asked what I would
be done with some chapters.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
I would send them the Cuddy. Cuddy's written a book,
so she'd be like, this is cool, but I don't
get what you're trying to stay here.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
So maybe I had this, and so I had a
support system between Tempest and Cuddy during writing this this thing.
But I would honestly do it in the mornings over coffee,
and I scheduled it like it was a workshift, like
today I'm working on this. I think I was wired
just wheezy, being wheezy writing for me to be a
different place every time I actually want to tell a
story about a friend that to read one of my chapters,

(45:35):
this was my favorite reaction.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
I've ever seen. I'm sorry, but I'm da. She was
reading the love chapter where I talked about now you
love love love all right girl now, and you know
this is my sister.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
So she's reading this thing and I'm looking at her
for this validation of please, like tell me what you
think with blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
I'm really proud of this. She's holding my phone at the.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
Time and reading it, and I remember she's reading it
kind of about loud, like a mumba and like okay.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
So then they came inside me. She's looks, you're easy, please,
And then when he was fucking she's I don't all.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
Right time getting through this, and I'm like, it's kind
and like it's crazy because what we need from friends
in this moment need them to hear these stories, right.
So that to me was a funny story because it
was sexual tempest. Ex has become a friend is reading
this story about depression and suicide. She's like, Okay, I
know we need to like I need to give you
feedback right now?

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Can I just say? Like whoa? So each time we're
handing someone something for approval, they're trying to be like
do I be soft right now? Like what do I do?

Speaker 2 (46:51):
So that was the most interesting part of the writing process,
sending chapters to friends that have heard nothing even I mean,
I hate to make it dark, bro, and your friends
are reading something for the first time.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
I'm like, Hey, I know this happened to you, but
what the fuck? Mm hmmm. And I feel like, you know,
you guys are so connected to us that you will
feel the same reading that about Mandy. I read things
about Mandy. I've podcasted with Mandy eight years, known her
since I was fifteen.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
I was like, oh that made me feel you know
what I'm saying, So like everyone will connect to this
in a different way. Yeah, Okay, Well we're gonna wrap
up here, but I just want to congratulate you guys.
But I'm just want to talk about how a lot
of people look at people as entertainers, right, not the

(47:42):
voice as bitches that you guys are right because it's
a there's a business to it, you know. But in
the book, you guys talk about your your foundation, like school,
your old jobs, Like do you still hold on to
that to any degree to feel like that helped you

(48:02):
in this endeavor in this industry because you both were
in corporate. You both were you know, and it's something
totally different. You do talk about that part of your
journey where you guys were at work and you were
changing clothing, you know, like all of that, you even
I think mentioned it on the Breakfast Club this morning,
you know, so do you guys want to hold on

(48:24):
to that part of you and and still say like.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
That propelled me that you know, like that helped, that
was a foundational piece of what's happening right now? Did
it help? Did it? Does it not matter?

Speaker 2 (48:36):
Is it totally separate with my credits cord that just
dropped nail knit and financial lead. I hate the you know,
like I'm not technically technically using my degrees.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Yeah, but so that's what I was gonna say. Technically,
I'm not in a corporate space that you know, I
got because of my degrees.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
However, I don't think the like the podcast is here,
I'm able to look at the way I am without
the lens from the things that I learned in school
and from working in a corporate setting.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
If you weren't an accountant, you wouldn't have been getting
paid the way that you were. Yes, because well, girl,
the bartender.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Bartend has made a lot of money career back in
the day with the scamml's a scammon, they're not doing
it no more. But for me to like even the
organizational aspects of it, that the deadline has Like you know,
I come hard off these Excel sheets.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
That's what I make them for everything, And so I
don't think.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
I don't think I care about a pivotable or how
pretty an Excel sheet is if I don't go through
that element.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
And so to me, the organizational aspects of it and
how it makes things easier for me to see.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
I love that I was able to transport that into
being an entrepreneur, right, I think being a first generation
college graduate.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
In my family, no one in my family is an entrepreneur.
No one in my family has a savings account.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
No one in my family had the opportunities that I've
had now to travel.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
I mean, my mom get a passport so I could
take her to Greece.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Guess where we had to go in twenty nineteen because
she didn't have a passport. It's Puerto Rico.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
My mom is fifty plus now and I literally am like,
I'd like to get you to see the world.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
And so like my family being being very on grown Orlando, Jamaic,
like they just they don't really get out. Like for
me to have that opportunity to do this, I don't
think I do that without going to college and so
for me constantly for anyone who goes all the way
back to that, like whether you're using your degree or not,
it's still one of the things that I'm most proud

(50:40):
of because I was disciplined enough to complete it. But
I don't think that how I've been able to manage
as an entrepreneur for the last six years exists without that.
So none of this for me exists for me without that,
And so I still give credence. I love to talk
about when I was a corporate that was cool, Like

(51:01):
I always loved.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
Bringing it back up because it's something that I'm still
most product Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
And you, oh girl, love when somebody bring up, well,
that was the big things to work at mobile. Indeed,
I'm very proud of where I've come from. Like just
my dad was an entrepreneur, and it's interesting because I
always felt like they were never that proud of me.
Well I was in college at ground now, but I

(51:26):
always felt like that wasn't the most exciting part. And
so when he got to see me do this in
my life, not to mention just even the financial freedom
that Mandy and I got to feel when leaving our jobs,
I just got to see that happening with two friends.
After starting trap House, yeah, like Pride and our parents
come into our new space, you know.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
And that wasn't my first business I started.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
I started to shout out to the other hell its
and WTF media and knowing that, like I got to
be in this seller mode. When I was in corporate,
I was a seller constantly, right, I was selling everything
from ethernet I can't even spell it.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
That data recovery software. And it was like people would
look at me like why is she selling that? Because
I could fucking sell anything.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
So now today to know that all of the things
that we've accomplished come from horrible. It's crazy, you know,
to be in a workout and there's someone that's like,
you know, someone just told me just now, Joey over
there just said something about it, and like Mandy and
I will be out somewhere and then someone's coming to

(52:26):
her about her show. Like it's just crazy that we
are all connected from this thing. So I think that
our corporate background isn't something even that I think about,
because I now look at us as entrepreneurs is a
different way, and all I think about is horrible.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
I almost forgot I had a corporate job. All I
remember is horrible.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
When I start the new job, there's not a thing
I'm gonna do on my life. I can start a church,
it can do. It's just like, girl, we're all stupid, like.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
The try and dat so horrible. Feels like now there's
been almost a decade my first job. It's so crazy.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
So I almost treat new things in this corporate setting
and being professional like it's horrible. I don't have a
meeting I'm in where I don't say something a.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Little bit dirty. Yeah, because this is this is all
the world.

Speaker 5 (53:12):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
It's like where we're at with you and so like
you ever had sex on a reformer?

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (53:23):
And I no, no no.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
By the way, y'all, you don't understand how serious you
Especially when he sees another country.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
It'll be thirteen people on the phone execs. Sorry, guys,
I was doing blow last night. Me got a girl
to the room.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
It'll be in a corporate fucking college. She's talking about
how she just had a threesome last night. Introduction is
that man?

Speaker 1 (53:45):
It got the deal done? Maybe I get a lie
on it, you know, likes real ship.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
When I was working at audible, they said, oh, do
you want to listen to your mekhezy at audible? A fuck,
this this is how me now, Like there's no faking it,
like it's just me. I'd be saying, hey, y'all in
the emails, I just I feel like this is the
most natural state that I wanted. And the only thing
I think corporate really taught me was that everything, at

(54:18):
the end of the day is about authenticity. Yeah, like
you know, it was different because I know you were
an accountant, and so for me, I was front facing
with clients all the time.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
Sometimes I'd be like, nice to meet you, sir, and
I'd be like, damn, it's night. Still got the ship done.
I love being myself and just knowing that we made
this book just being honest. It's fucking crazy. So okay,
take youngratuate.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
By the way, we have pro learned that this was
only supposed to be a thirty minute a conversation because
a goddamn how bitch.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
We just kept knowing do you want to leave time
for Q? And A next time we don't have a
time or look at me. I'm like, oh, y'all, I've
been over.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
We're looking at tongue like, we still gotta sign books,
but I do want to allow at least time.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
For like three questions.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
We love Q and A, we love homeow we loved
that y'all chose to sit in the basement with us
and talk and we'll listen to us talk about a
book that meant so much for us.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Yeah, we don't talk about it. You want to tell
we won't talk about it. You see all the town.
Does anybody have a question? I'm glad I didn't wear that.
God damn, can we come on, Lee give us a question?

Speaker 3 (55:32):
Well, it wasn't specific to I guess the content of
the book per se, but have versions. I'm going to
say through asking a book, thank you. I hope you
guys really have a moment to really take it in
because it's no small feed. But I'm curious more so
around what you guys learned about each other this process,
because there was a lot of obviously your individual stories.

(55:54):
But like you said, I think from just a listener perspective,
we get one version of you that we're seeing and
gotten used to. But I feel like I learned so
much about even stories I already heard in more detail
and just in different kind of versions of yourself. So
my question is YouTube knowing each other for what for
most two decades?

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Now?

Speaker 3 (56:20):
Okay, was there anything I guess specifically that surprised you
in each other's chapter? What did you learn about each
other in this process?

Speaker 1 (56:30):
I mean for me, and this maybe.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Comes from my upbringing and how I judged, not judged,
But there was nothing else that.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
I wanted growing up. The money I started working at fifteen.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
I once I got to high school, I paid for
school supplies and back to school things for me and
my siblings, and I used to always think that money
would have made growing up so much easier and so
weezy during our even teenage years, living on a different
side of town than most of my friends and had
a life that I was like, oh my god, bitch,

(57:10):
you got a whole movie theater in your house. And
when we got to writing the book and I put
those things in there, she shied away from those things.
When we had her mom on our most recent Patreon episode,
it was interesting because her mom was like, yeah, girl,
spent forty thousand my birthday parties, And you could see
the pride in growing up with those financial like things,

(57:32):
And so for me, it was surprising that Weezy didn't
really want to drive the Jaguar to high school, that
she didn't want to talk about growing up in a.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
Certain way, even though like things changed as she got older.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
With that financials, I was like, ooh, bitch, there's nothing
in the world I want more than nepotism, right, And
so for me, a part that I learned was like, damn,
there can be shame in growing up with things that
that I would have killed four even just two parents,
Like I didn't grow up with two parents. I didn't

(58:06):
like me and my sisters rotated, who shared rooms with
my younger sister, like there were just different things. And
so when we wrote this book and I leaned into that,
I was surprised that there wasn't pride in having that
style of an upbringing because I thought, like, bitch, that's
what we all would have liked, Like I would have
been able to go to more field trips, or my

(58:26):
dad to be able to like like me, not having
to go ask my dad for shit. So that was
just I think surprising that there could be shame in
that type of lifestyle and privilege.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
To me, that's what I learned. Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
I want to talk about that on the pod more
because for me it was more so you know, I
was watching my parents lose money in real time, so
as a kid, I'm just like, oh, I know that
the more you're gonna be paid, I know that people
come over, I know that there's foreclosure, like as a teenager,
and that point where I could be prideful, how I
will take The thing I learned the most is probably

(59:02):
healing in real time. There were stories that you were telling.
You know, we're on the podcast telling each other's stories.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Ahakey key.

Speaker 2 (59:10):
And the more that I would read the stories, especially
you know, talking about sex for money, and it's even
hard to say that because I know you don't even
really want to talk about that in fress, but you
brought it up for.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Like in a room like this, But I ain't going
on breakfast clo, like, yeah, I'll understand money.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
When Mandy was talking about the way she felt reading
it was making me feel really sad because my chapter
was different.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
I'm like sugar dad, right, I was like fuck Ariada
back and forth.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
But at the end of the day, that's kind of
the beauty of these stories. It's like you can see
two different experiences and so yeah, to answer the question fully,
with Mandy's chapters, the healing in real time was happening
while hearing the stories, like maybe that little bit of
shame was back there, but we we are on a
show where we gotta be liberated for everybody, so we

(01:00:03):
better tell this with a smile on our face.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
So it was Dot.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
It was knowing that she had to come to these
realizations sitting next to me every week on the mic.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Like that ship isn't easy. It's like when you find
out someone that you work with is going through a
really hard time. You're like, what the fuck? How you
being here? Smiling? You know it's sheriffy Yeah, and vodka
and we'll do We'll do one more question because I
know we gotta sign these books. Burns off.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
You will ask me questions I do if you don't mind,
If there's anyone you will get it. You'll get the
last question because you was in the conversation up here
in the front seat.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Do we have because I know we got some war
Hive members in here? What's that? No Amy with that care?
Do we have any in the back and all I know,
like y'all just.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Got the books today, all right, our first day listener
everything that what was a turning point for y'all to
for the y'all authentic so.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
Fully.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
So It's funny because when we started this podcast, and
I've said this before, I was about to be a CPA.
My dad is Jamaican and so as a bartender working
in the clubs and all that, he used to always say,
when you're gonna get a real job. It was always
about getting a real job. Yeah, so he does construction,

(01:01:33):
blue collar. My mom is an LPN still trying to
pass these math classes to get a R rate.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
And so for me it was when we first started
this pod, I was like, yeah, I don't mind sharing this.
I tweeted, I lived this life. I don't mind. But
if it don't make no money, I'm about to be
an accountant because I want to be taken serious. I
want to be your wife.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
If y'all hear me talk about twenty four to seven,
I remember like, oh here, rapper, I can't bring him
to my Christmas parties.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
When I become an accountant, I need to get a lawyer.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
Like I had this view, this traditional view of what
life should look like when I get into certain spaces
in my life. And so it wasn't really until honestly,
probably started touring. And as we started touring and we
started meeting y'all, my stories changing people, my stories making
people cry or get through the things that they were

(01:02:23):
going through. And I told this to Charlemagne in the
South of France in front of everybody, and I was like,
thank you. We were, you know, in the South of France,
and I said, thank you for being my baby day,
because this book is a baby. But I told him,
I said, without the push and support from him, I

(01:02:43):
don't know what my purpose is.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
And my purpose is now this.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
My purpose is now being able to touch people with
with my stories and my vulnerability, whether it keeps a nigga.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
From dating me or not.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
I'm on the front line for y'all. To me, it
wasn't until I realized this is a bigger picture than me.
We say that that's why this pot is still here,
that's why we have a book. We don't fault quite
a bit. We might not always see the same things
all the time, but whenever we really get to where
it's like I I, it's always like this shit is
bigger than both of us, and like when we meet

(01:03:16):
you guys, when we see people buying our book. This
is where I was like, well here, yep, I did it,
not OJ style, I did it. It's here, it exists.
I am me, and I don't feel like I have
that without meeting our hive. Okay, sorry a yell er hot,

(01:03:39):
I'm just try to make mine quick. I would say,
there's a moment I had.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
And I know a lot of us may never.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
Get approval from our parents or our family, especially the
queer few people in here, like they're just always going
through some shit.

Speaker 1 (01:03:51):
They don't get us. But I had a moment to
let me know this is her accepting me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
I don't give a fuck about anyone else. Says, there's
my ex girlfriend. I brought her to my mom's house
and she.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
Knew it was my girlfriend, but she just was like ever,
she just eat busy today. This will be over with soon.
So we go out to eat and we run into
a girl, her mother from high school. And this was
the cool girl, super rich, like just.

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
It and my mom was like, why does she looks
at the annoy I'm like, oh, that's Rossie's mom, And
so she says, what's Rossie doing it?

Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
And the woman said, Rossie's a doctor and she's working
in a blah blah blah blah blah and all this shit.
And I'm sitting there with my girlfriend and my.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
Mom goes, well, Gila has a sex podcast and everybody
listens to it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
It's so good. I mean, it's everywhere and she's all
over the place. That's your girlfriend. Anyway, I have been there.
We're gonna watch it on TV on the YouTube one.
I'm a podcaster. I had a doctor, and my mom's like,
my daughter really yours that? Like, what do I give

(01:05:01):
a ship about anybody else? Now, my father and y'all know,
y'all know because I've opened up about it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:06):
If he wants in a nursing home, he literally tells people,
you know, my daughter, she's like doctor, she talks about it, talk.

Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
About this sex and all did the sex. And it's
just my reality. And at the end of the day,
I take care of my parents with this fucking money,
So sucking dick story is safe. We wouldn't have been here.

(01:05:40):
Thank you, by it's very thank thank you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
And we will make sure for anyone's book that we
have not signed, because also this is the work night, school.

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
Night, all the things. Y'all gotta get home and I.

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
Want to eat, but we want to make sure that
we signed all books. And thank you guys personally for
coming out to the basement to join us in a
heat wave on a Tuesday, but most importantly on the
release date of This Guy.