EP 368: Catching Trans Chasers (Ft. TS Madison)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Guess what decision We're about to make? Horrible decision? How
do everybody?

Speaker 2 (00:10):
We are the Horrible Decisions Podcast and we're going to
be in Dallas, Texas. Memorial Day weekend, bitch is a Sunday.
We're gonna be headlining the two Togetherland Festival.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
And you bitches better now how no motherfucker work on Sunday?
Call out? Ho?

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I mean you could do that, but also it's a
three day weekend. They have Monday off. We will see
you guys in Dallas, Texas at the together Land Festival.
Make sure you get your tickets now. We will be
live on the podcast stage. That's made twenty six Get
your tickets now at togetherland dot com. Babby, just know
that Horrible Decisions today Maybe is the motherfucking Florida y'all

(00:43):
know we some Florida bitches here and we are joined
by being Florida bitch.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Okay, the big dig.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Bitch, the big dig bitches Day County.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Now hold on, now you know we some fall seven
Chapa City girls.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Okay, you are from the real city of Florida, though
not be in the real city of US are technically Jacksonville.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Is the capital. Technically wait what's teas, it is not.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
More for the record, I just want to let it
be known that day County is its own thing.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Oh yeah, you can't fear your tells us every count
We're not even in Florida. We just in DA.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
We have to tell y'all who we have in ability
because it's years overdue.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yes, yes, overdue.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yes we are with the one and only everybody's favorite
Internet personality, everybody's favorite.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Comedian and just all of it.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
We just love who you are, and I think seeing
you over the years, even though you're a common section,
they're like, oh my god, bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Where are you now? This is what Gatala is.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
This just your growth and everything, and it's like you've
always been beautiful, but now just glowing and shining. Gods,
t asked ass.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Tea ass. Let me tell y'all something I have watched you, ladies.
I have watched the way that you have had guests
on your show, certain guests, not certain guests, certain, yes,
not certain guests. And I love the way that you
you your ladies, hold your own I love the way

(02:20):
that you you stand and who you are, and I
love the way that you get on social media and you
don't give a fuck who called and you call it, oh, hello, Andrew,
and and and that's what's something. That's the type of
energy that I've I've always been on. Your energy is
as always well.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
And at this point, it probably is something in the
water in Florida.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
It's Florida. You know, it's the Florida's Florida water.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
It's just I did want to start there because you
do have and we're gonna go through all types of
topics today, y'all. I do have an outline. We're gonna
get into it. But I know we can talk. We've
been needing to talk. Yes, So let's start with Florida
because you have an experience in Orlando.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
You brought up, you brought up somewhere that I.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Listen to give the line text, y'all listen. In Orlando, Florida,
there's a place called Orange Blossom Trail.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
So that's what y'all call it. No, I called obt. Oh,
it's just obt damn what I do, my little news
banker Bob. And there's the trail.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
There's a street, there's a road. There's a section called
Orange Blossom Trail. And when you're looking for a certain
type of lady, you go find them hose on the trail.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
The hose on the trail.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
And when Maby just said, oh, I used to be
on ALBT Okay, So wait, I grew up Oakridge, well,
Oakridge and OBT. And what's crazy is my mom didn't
talk to me about sex with boys, didn't talk to
me about drugs. But baby, I was five years old
and knew what the women on the trail were and
what they were doing there.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
And was getting to the money. So my mom.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Literally, now that I think about it, we should have
to talk. She talked to me about prostitution before anything
else in life. Look at us now taking this money, right,
so what was Let's start there because it like who
you are now and we're gonna get into that.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
But where you listen, here's the thing. Here's the thing, ladies,
I want to tell y'all that I am. I'm never
going to shy away from talking about my beginnings because
you have to be able to talk to people about
where it began, because they look at you now and
they say, uh, you know, like you up at e
or you just because I say because I tell a
bit I'm rich or h I say stuff like, oh,

(04:22):
I don't go past roll six on the plane, you know,
or I'm always a black car. I must be black cart,
you know. But I used to be broke, I was homeless,
I was I was a hooker on the on the sidewalk.
And I have no shame or anything about any of
that stuff, because it's never where you start. It's where

(04:42):
your trajectory goes. And for me when I was back then,
I transitioned around about seventeen years old, okay, seventeen eighteen,
like kind of right out of high school.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
You know.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
I've only known being a boy up until about eighteen,
and I'm kind of glad that I have the opportunity
to transition later on because I've had the experienced life
as a gay male and now as a trans woman,
you know. And so because I know we might get

(05:16):
into questions where people ask, like, well, how when did
you know?

Speaker 1 (05:20):
I've always known.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
I've always known, But I'm glad that I have the
opportunity to experience life, you know, in all of its phases.
I'm going to be forty seven this year, so that'll
be me thirty years into transition. I do and do
beautiful hello and is passable you know, you know, but

(05:46):
I didn't want that life for me. That's not what
I wanted.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
You know.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
I used to look down on strippers and hookers. I
used to because I'm from a Christian house and so,
you know, your mama raised you up into, you know,
being an upstanding you know.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
But when you're growing up.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
And you're having like a lot of battles with on
on the inside, and you're trying to figure out, like
what's going on?

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Like why am I not I have brothers? Like why
am I not like my brother?

Speaker 4 (06:08):
So?

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Why am I not like my cousins? Like what's what's wrong?
Like what's why? Do why not? Why? When? Why? When
men are having conversations about women around me, I'm like,
you don't see that boy over there?

Speaker 3 (06:19):
You know what I'm saying, Or like you know you
don't like I don't. I don't look at women. I've
always found women to be extremely attractive. Like I can
sit here and look at how gorgeous both of you
ladies are, and everywhere I go when I see gorgeous ladies,
I'm like, damn. Like even my friend and I when
we be in the car, we be out somewhere or whatever,
and both of us be looking at girls liked yang.

(06:41):
He's bad, you know, because you ain't ever, but I
don't have any sexual attraction and you but you knew
that early on there.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Oh, and I knew that, Okay, you.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Know that I knew when you said, you know, I
always look down on strippers and sex workers, like people
many people that ended up falling into this life. Do
you think that when you started a prostitution and it
was because of being trans.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yes, and it was. And because I'm from you got
to remember, we're in twenty twenty four, thirty years ago,
and I was seventeen, what was thirty years from nineteen
ninety something, so we were still in a ninety four.
We were still in a time.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
Of and it was bourbage then transsexual, oh honey, cross
dressed rode. You know, the language around it was completely
completely different.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Like all of the new age terms that we have now,
like the new age of blossoming and understanding things. We
didn't have any of that because there was nobody that
was willing or even wanted to understand that. Because we've
been in the shadows for so long, you know, and
so and so.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Going into that was was it because it seventeen eighteen
years old.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
You're transitioning.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
Were you going to the mall in different places and
they just wouldn't hire you because of how you were presenting?

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Well, it was it was definitely because of how it
was presenting. And then I actually found lace that let
that allowed me to come to work. I remember my
first job in transition. I worked at publics.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Y'all.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Publics, y'all don't like the Okay, I mean, I still
eat their son. But here's the thing, here's the thing.
I worked at publics and I remember me being the
first male cashier that they would hire. They was the
first male they had. It was always women at the

(08:31):
counter and the men did and the men did the stocking.
I was like stocking, I wear them stocking. Are you
crazy girl now? And so, uh girl, this is crazy.
I remember having an altercation with a customer at the counter

(08:51):
and she was so irate. She told my manager that
was standing up there to the front, she said.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Why don't you reprimand this lady, this lady is so
rude and ness.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Because I was just paying that whole dust that was
over her with all those fucking coupons, and so she said,
why don't.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
You reprimand her she's so rude and da da da.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
And so my manager was like, who are you talking about?
And she was like the lady, this lady right here,
and he turned he was flushed, turn red. I read it, yeah,
and was like, ma'am, that is not a lady.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Did that at the time make you feel good or worse?

Speaker 3 (09:31):
At the time, I was said, fuck that puss sass
puss sass as pussayss cust some way, and the mother
fucking the fuck you pussa ass old you know. But
I wasn't thinking about it because I didn't know anything
except for I knew who I was, so I didn't
know how to feel, like the validation or whatever. I
just like, girluck because I knew I was was real
as clocky as I was.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
I knew I was still real. I knew that girl.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
So they took me to the office in the back
or whatever, and they was like, uh, because my name,
my former name was Timothy, and I'm open about all
this stuff. So you know I'm open about that because
I've lived my life in the public, y'all. Somebody could
google it. Oh listen, I'm gonna tell you, like my
name was Timothy, and so they the uh, the manager

(10:15):
was like, Timothy, you're gonna have to come in here.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
You gotta You're gonna have to. You're gonna have to.
You're gonna have to. You're gonna have to. That's what
You're gonna have to, like be more Timothy. Yeah, you're
gonna have to be more Timothy.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yeah, You're gonna have to. So I'm like, bitch, how
do I do that? Like my hair with like my
hair with my hair was permed. I had my hair
back in the poem you wear little ear rings or whatever,
you know, I.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
Had did your makeup? Were you doing makeup?

Speaker 3 (10:43):
It was a little bit. I didn't know too much,
you know. I just knew that I was in the
in the in the position to change, right, you know.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
And so you know, I was like, how do I
do that? Like what the fuck do I do? Like?

Speaker 3 (10:56):
You know, and so, you know, we kept having these problems,
and I took my h I took a yellow sticky
tab and I covered up Timothy and put Chanell on that. Wow,
because that was my name, Chanelle. So I put Chanel
on top of the the Timothy thing over there. And
so they were they it was just stuff and that

(11:17):
was irritating them, and they was like, well, you know,
we can't we go.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
They let me go because you wouldn't be more Timothy,
because I wann't be more Timothy.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
That was my first time being let go because of
that that Publics. Yeah, wow, that was my first time. Well,
I don't know if it was Public's policy, but you know,
because here's the thing where we have to here's the
thing because I'm gonna tell y'all a story.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
But here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
I don't know if it was public publics is policy,
but you know, the people that worked there wor they
felt some type of way because Publics hired me.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
But I did put Timothy on the application, girl, But
I did come in, but I didn't come in. I
did come inmoth, but I did come in.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
It's who I was, So it wasn't I didn't do
anything that was different. I just came in who it
was so fast forward were uh, and then it didn't
help any of that boys used to come up there
to the job.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Now while you was having men come up to the job, girl.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
But see, this is what y'all gotta understand. I want
y'all ladies to understand this. I really want ladies and
the and the people out there that are watching to
understand this.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
And this is real ship. Trans women have an aura.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
About them as beautiful as women are. This is why
I have I don't feel any competition with any women.
I don't feel any way about any woman.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
I don't have any deep rooted, any feeling towards any
woman because especially when it comes down to men, because
trans women have this thing. And I figured this out
the older that I got, we have this thing that
it just draws men. We're not real. Hold on, let

(12:57):
me get somebody gonna fuck me up. You already know
that it's right, Ye, we're real people. But I want
to use this in a way because this is how
women like to say.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
You ain't real. You're not a real woman.

Speaker 3 (13:09):
You know, right, We're not you know, according to you know,
the way that women like to say you're not real.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
Gotta get that in there. And it don't matter. That's
the thing that it don't matter. It does not matter
if we're real or not to men. To men, it
does not matter. Is it the fantasy.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
I don't know if it's the fantasy, it's just the drawing. Listen,
those people, the boys would come through my line and
it would be.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
I think it's the intrigue, the intriguing of what are you?
And I was younger then, you know, very young, just
like what are you? Do you find that? And again
today I really want to clear that real thing up.
You know.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
No, I mean I don't want the trans community. No,
even though I am a part of the trades community,
I may say things that and I want to say
this too, I may say things that may not align
with with the with the whole ideology of every everybody
in the community.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
It's not and that's listen, Flaming Road right, he'll be
like Blaming Road came on and said the things she said.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
You know, you don't be a flame counting the same.
We different with stuff.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
But we also just had Danielle and Dominikon who have
who did a wonderful, wonderful Cocomo City documentary their experience
and sex work, and people disagreed with the things they said.
So at the end of the day, you're never gonna
please I know, but I just.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
Want to make sure that I don't say like I
don't want to, I don't want to say that we're
not real, Like now, we're not real people, We're not real.
I just want to say it in the in the
in the aspect of women. This this is the this
is what I'm when I'm having an altercation with women,
a verbal alter the first thing, because you're not real.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Wow, you're not a real woman. You'll never be a
real one.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
They want to go straight to calling bitch is back single,
you ain't got kids. It's crazy though, because what you
said is when when you said that, men are like,
what are you like?

Speaker 1 (15:06):
The fascination? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
I was talking to a few friends of mine actually
who have played ball overseas, specifically in Asia, which one
girl will talk about it out there, but there's a
few of them that let me know that when you
make a certain caliber of money, especially like the politicians,
the really rich and wealthy people even in to buy
all over their Middle East and in Asia, they go

(15:29):
to trans women like going to even the strip clubs
and things in Thailand there's the lady boys.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Are regular girls really don't They may not do it
in time.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
The lady boys are like what is what the men
are drawing the lady girls. I think having that experience
over there and having people talk about trans women. And
this is when I studied abroad. I was what twenty five,
I'm thirty three now, but having those conversations and hearing
men speak about them and dat men who were into

(16:02):
trans women Like I hat a friend that was drinking
himself to death because he didn't feel like he would
be accepted by his parents by it. Took him to
the club, took him to the show that got bleaked
out last time.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Apparently I can't, you know, promote it. But yeah, like
you're talking about no, no, no, no, no no, wait, I
just passed that. Is that?

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Oh you're telling me something I don't know? Gird that's
right down the street for our nights.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
I heard that Thursday night.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
That's what I heard on next Thursday. Okay, even always
tea girl Thursday?

Speaker 4 (16:37):
Is?

Speaker 1 (16:38):
Why is it always Thursdays? Is that a thing? Is
it the team? Because white? Why? I don't? I have
no idea, but that night is always on Thursday. That's
what I heard. The country. I would I wouldn't set
foot in their honey. Okay, I've graduated from that that life,
but then I'm not looking watching have you have you
worked in those environments before, and how did difference I've

(17:00):
hosted like I've hosted that, I've hosted like I've like
I hosted an event in the in the clubs, you know,
but but I'm never gonna work in there because I
feel like that I'm more listen. I paved the way
for those girls to be who.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
They are, and so I want to take a step back, then,
because navigating them from going to the streets to having
your own production company and shooting your own Yes, Like,
how'd you go from from OBT to.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Can we start at OBT?

Speaker 3 (17:30):
It was no, it was seventy ninth Street then ob
because baby, we listen when Miami would listen when Miami
wasn't having a good week off of seventy nine.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
We want to hear about the culture of this because
today street walking is the most low.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Brown ship to anybody.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, they don't want to either talk about it or
it's something that men won't even engage it. Yeah, right,
because it's so because it's so easy tone the website,
find them on websites now, So.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
Tell us what it was like to then. And this
is what I tell you, This is what I tell
my daughters now. Because I call my daughters. I tell
my daughters. Now I'll be like, girl, y'all don't know anything.
The street walk, that street walk in life was. I
tell you that I've had some of the best sex
on the hood of a cargo. Stop it behind the
dumpster the KFC. Girl, Honey, I could see it well

(18:23):
because I and that's what made me have these fantasies
about men having their pants around their ankles. Girl, you
got to hear it and go listen. Even when I'm
in a relationship with a man, I love him to
to fuck me like a horror.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
I need that. I know a horror. Give details. What
is being fun like a baby pulling the pants around
their ankle. Let me tell they did. Let me so
you're not getting all the way.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
They just come fuck. Just trash me out. We could
we could cuddle after it's done, because you're my husband.
But don't trash me out. Trash me out.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
Tell me about a time that you felt like it
was getting too crazy, like someone had too wild.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Request.

Speaker 3 (18:58):
Here's the thing, right, So I'm gonna take you from
publics down this lane.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
I want to go. So we so I got fired
from the publics, you know, and and because boys used
to come up there to the to the fucking job
like it was a boy used to ride his bicycle
up there and just buy eggs or some ship. And
I used to be like what you is? What what
you is? And I'm like what what you is? You know?

Speaker 3 (19:25):
And so we ended up, you know, getting into some things.
And uh, he came to my house on the bike
when one night he gave me fifty dollars and I
was like, well, why did you give me fifty dollars?

Speaker 1 (19:38):
Now I'm young, so I don't know. You know, I've
moved out. I'm older, yes, a little bit, a little
bit older, but I've moved out because my mom was like,
you can't be in my house. You know, I have
sons in here. I got other sons, So you can't
be in here with this stuff. On one Wow, I
can't do it. And I was like, because I ain't him,

(20:01):
I'm not here.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
To great, I'm not there. I'm not I'm not that boy,
I'm that girl. And so you know, like I'm fast
forwarding because I know. So he came, he gave me
fifty dollars off like from a bike.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
I'm like, what you give me fifty dollars for I
just felt like this, I want to give you some money.
I was like, oh, because I know they let you
go from the job. But they did fire me because
of course you because you were you were coming up
there to the place. And uh, you know, then my
gay mama, you know, we we have our family. Yeah,
my gay mama.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Was uh, she was in the business. And I didn't
know what none of this stuff was was. And so
my next encounter was was with a threesome with her
and the guy. Because you know, I'm I'm a well
endowed girl. And yah, we're not saying big big just

(20:56):
because I'm a well and dowed girl. And so the
guy was requesting at the time that she, you know,
have another well and down girl. And so they knew
that I was a welling dow girl. And so I
went down there whatever, and we we had a three
and then that she gave me money.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
I'm like, how much? How much? Back then? What she
gave me? One hundred dollars?

Speaker 3 (21:19):
I didn't know what, Like, yeah, I didn't know, you know,
but she gave me a hundred. So I'm like, you know, so,
you know, so I'm slowly introduced into prostitution. But I'm
still trying to be in and out of drag because
now I'm out on my own, so I have to work,
you know. So I'm trying to, you know, work at

(21:40):
different places to pay my rent, you know. And we
used to ride out on the beat and I would
see other trends, Like I'm from down south. I used
to drive up north and I would see all these
other trans women and they were having like these bathing
suits and ship like that. I was like, they were
so much more advanced, and I was.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
Like, these are man. Excuse me, right, I'm not gonna
keep doing this.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
And I feel like it's so important because PC language,
we get it, we know it.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
But I love learning where you started.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
And so I'm just gonna make this. I'm not gonna
keep doing this. I'm just gonna tell my motherfucker please please.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
See the men were gay if they wanted anal sex,
and now I'll be asking for it once a quarter,
you know.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
So here we go.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
I love advanced I love advanced women. So let's get
into and so, you know, bitch, let.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Me get these checks. I was like, oh my god,
these are man, these are man, like, how did this happen.
I want to do. I want more, like you know
what I'm saying. I want to be passed. I want
to be you know. But I'm like, why are they
selling their bodies on the street? Like why are you walking?
You didn'tstand, I didn't really like why are y'all prostitutes
on the street? Like what's what's going on here? Looks

(22:57):
so good?

Speaker 3 (22:58):
That's yeah, Like what's like why y'all ain't got no
man taking care of you? Like, you know what I'm saying,
Like you there's no way possible that you are am
in you know, because you so you know, child, going
through the life, getting involved, getting work, getting the things,
advancing more, and it's just like you get to the
job and you've advanced more, your titties are big, your

(23:19):
hips is big, and you guming that bitch and at
the time, and I'm a floorda bitch, right, So I
didn't change my name at the time. I just celebrated
my one year anniversary on the eighteenth of April for
changing my name really legally, you just said that at
forty six.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
Really what took you? Song? My mom?

Speaker 2 (23:42):
Can you explain a little bit more about it? I
didn't want to.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
I felt I didn't want to disrespect her. Okay, I
have a very close relationship with my mom. I didn't
want to disrespect her because I felt that, you know,
she gave me that and I was hers and she
gave me that name. And then you know, and you know,
she said that that Timothy means honor God, and you
know all this stuff, you know. So I struggled with
that for a very long time. I even did it

(24:09):
even on my television show. I talked to her about it,
you know, because did you go and finally what was
the conversation?

Speaker 3 (24:15):
Then to ask on the television on the television show,
I talked to her, I said, Mommy, I've been living
this life and which television show on my own television show,
my own television show, the TS Madison Experience, the experience
I have the first black transgender woman to executive produce
and start in her own reality on Earth.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Let's go on we TV, Let's go, Let's go on Earth.
So you have this conversation life, yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
On TV.

Speaker 3 (24:38):
And so I'm telling her, like, you know, I need to,
you know, and then even after the show wrapped and
then and we we were finished or whatever, I still
didn't go do it. Wow, it was only to right
up until recently where the where where the legislations are
changing everything. It's anti trans and anti d you know,
so yeah, anti trans lost and I'm and I say

(25:01):
this with with with humility, I'm a passable trans woman
and so you know, I when I pull out my ID,
I used to do it for shock value, like hey, Timothy,
but now it's just like you know, and cause you
be like you know, but now when I pull out
my ID, like no one's paying it any attention. And
the only reason why people know a lot about me
is because one day know big dig bitch dot com, right,

(25:22):
or two because I'm famous for other for other things
and big dig bitch dot com. But if I was
just strolling through, you ain't. Just you're not thinking twice
about me being born male?

Speaker 1 (25:32):
You know, seeing you.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Get emotional just now, like I could see you tearing
up there thinking me want to tear up and talking
about the respect that you have for your mom. I've
been loving watching throw out a Carmichael show, not because
I'm enjoying him so much, but just kind of this
like mental breakdown to get to see. Yeah, but one
of the things that's so difficult to watch is his
respect with his mom. Yeah, and so just to know

(25:56):
how much you've been through and how important you are
in the community for.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
People to respect your mom this many years and hold that.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
It just really shows me that a lot of people
can be selfish with their queerness. They're coming out, and
I think we've got to give parents a little more grace.
So that's why when you were saying, I'm not saying
this to anybody, I almost feel like I'm even going
in the reverse because I understand that, like other people
are moving slower, and I don't want to shit on
them because they're not where weird at. And I feel

(26:24):
like we shunned so many people away because we're forcing
them to be here with us. I'm weird with the
word grace, and I want to dig into do you
not feel or was there a conversation because you were
pushed out of the home because of your transition. Is
there not any blame or anger that you have for

(26:48):
that experience with having to go on the trail and
having to go through sex work and having to have
that experience because she judged you in that moment when
I was younger, made okay because you get over that too.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
Well. I the way it helped me get past it
was I had to put myself in her shoes and this, like,
you know, my mother is a devout Christian and me
was a huge challenge me. Okay, that's a challenge to
a Christian. Yes, how can you love God? How can

(27:23):
you win souls? How can you just you can't even
save your own child?

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Right, I'm on now, this is this is me now
thinking then, I was, you know, mad, and I was
just like, well, I'm gonna it's me and fuck y'all.
You know what I'm saying, Fuck all, y'all, I'm gonna
get out here, I'm gonna work.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
You know, I'm a whatever. You know now, I'm a
whore hooker. I didn't want to do I didn't want
to do any of that. None of that.

Speaker 3 (27:50):
I didn't want to do any of that. So I
wanted the people that are out there to watch it
to know that was not my life choice. I did
not want to do that. However, at forty and now
looking that was a path that was carved out for
me from the creator. And when I think about it

(28:12):
in this space, I think about how many people have
watched me, from you ladies, to other trans women to
hetero so many heterosexual people to superstars. It is whose
lives that I've changed just by me existing. And so

(28:35):
when I get to the space that I am now
to occupy lots of public, big platforms, television and all
that type of stuff. If I didn't have any of that,
yeah testimony, I wouldn't have no story to tell or
to I wouldn't have a place to help deliver other people.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
So I've gotten to a place in my life now
just recently, and I still have my struggle moments where
I understand that the journey has really nothing to do
with me. And when you're called on a journey to
do something from the Creator, it has it's it has

(29:21):
its role. Right, So I'm not mad at my mother. Okay,
she only did what was supposed to do with what
she knew, what she knew to do, and she had
to say goodbye it. Yes, she did what was she
had to do and what the Creator put me inside
of her to do for the world. She didn't know
that she had to have that difficult journey. I didn't

(29:43):
know that, you know, I didn't start realizing that there
was purpose behind me until twenty fourteen. I know that
I didn't know that Big Dig Bitch dot com or
do what it did. Like I was a millionaire when
I was in my twenty foot did Big Dig Bitch
for nobody?

Speaker 3 (30:01):
Dot Com was an adult pace site that I created
when I was home little girl girl.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
I listened, y'all, but what was that your So I
want to tell you the one scene what I did.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
I was in the back of like a really big house.
I don't know if it was your house mine, Okay,
and it was and and it was weird because you
shot at it at night time.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
But I remember you laid something out.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
I don't know, but you was sucking this fine, light
skinned man and I think he out of head brains.
Do you know the scene I'm talking about? Oh my god,
he do you remember?

Speaker 1 (30:34):
You?

Speaker 2 (30:35):
You know exactly the se and I was like, this
is shot so but you got up on top rolled him.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
I laid it was like a with mosquitos and ship outside.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
It was so homemade. But the man was dick was big.
I was like, I paved the way for these only
fan girls talk ship. I did well in you and
this was a time where we still had the porn
star era.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
You said, no, I'm going own my own. Yes, I
at the time was not finding any other trends. Women
on the no black wearing a wig, but they weren't living.
They weren't living as a trans not the black ones.
And here's the thing. All that is part of my journey.
Let me tell you why.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
After the firings and after the jobs, and after all
the stuff or whatever, and after the the you know,
the being homeless and stuff, I threw myself into All right, well,
if I'm if this is what I'm gonna do, this
is what I'm gonna do. So I need more ass,
more tits, more bodies. I ended up getting sick from silicon.

(31:46):
I got silicone poison. No, I ended up getting sick.
I ended up, you know, having to move back home.
But with with everything, with.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
Everything, I came back home with everything, I was skinny.
I was like one hundred and thirty seven pounds. Wow.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
And and this is how me and my mother reunited.
As I had been out of the world, I came
back home. I was about twenty two. And I remember
me because you know, I'm from the time where AIDS
HIV was like h it was no HIV, it was
just AID.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, you just said it and then you would and
then you would die and you would die.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
And so you know, everybody talked about, you know, don't
be a because you go out there and be a
you're gonna die of AIDS. So me coming home sick
and skinny, so you know, your parents is thinking like,
oh God, my child has AIDS, like because because you
were sick. Yeah, but this was not the case. I
was silicone points, did you know what's wrong with you?

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Well?

Speaker 3 (32:50):
I went to the hospital because I had like like
like if you see the stories now, like the stories
are people tell the stories or whatever?

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Well, I want to well, you go into the hospital
or transitioning in the nineties.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
Yeah, how did they Well you go into the hospital
with open wounds from where this stuff is open and
it is leaking on you and stuff like that or whatever,
and then you're hearing like during that time, like so
many people were dying like of back right doors, object
shacks or whatever, you know.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
And and then I come home poisoned.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
I tried to do everything I could not to come home,
but I just I went back to my apartment.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
I was so sick, like I was so sick. I
was so small, I couldn't move.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
I had like open wounds on my body, you know,
from it, you know, and I and I still have
those scars. I kept those scars on me, and I
kept those scars to remind older me where younger me was.
I and I because I could have had skin grafts
and had that shit, you know. But I decided to
keep those things because those are those are my those

(33:55):
are my war wounds and the reminders of bitch. Don't
you ever even when you because it's it gets addicted
like tattoos. That's why there's so many big bodies and
so many big because it gets addicted. So I came home.
I remember my aunt. I moved in the house with
my aunt, and I was laying in the bed back there,
and my mother came in and she just broke into

(34:17):
tears because I was laying in the bed like I
was a patient. I was skinny. I've had big pads
laying on me. What I was just leaking. And the
doctors at the time don't know how to how do
you know how to get how do you know how
to do this? And you're a man, how do you
know how to do this?

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Like what the fuck? What are you anyway? Like, what's
going on here? You know? You who did this to you?
That treatment was even coming from the doctors? Yeah, who
did this to you?

Speaker 2 (34:45):
Like?

Speaker 3 (34:45):
Why would you even lay down and let somebody do
this to you? Like, you know, it's like I don't
want to explain nothing. You don't understand. Some home, you know,
and my aunt is washing my wounds whatever. My mother
comes in and then she just burst into tears and
we had a moment and and she said to me

(35:07):
that I would never have to walk in the world
alone again.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Wow, wow, Tis, you can't be coming here like y'all.
But you know, you know, these are these things happen. Yeah,
and uh, you know, I'm still young, I still am
trans I still want things, you know. So I heal up.

(35:34):
And when I heal up, I told my aunt, I said,
I can't. I can't live here in Miami. I can't
live here. I can't.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
It's nothing from me because I'm going to get back
into the same ship I'm gonna be, you know, I
can't live I moved to Atlanta. I never walked the
streets again. Wow, what was it about Atlanta that felt
like you.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
I met a girl here. I met like everybody. Oh
my god, when I think about people that are placed
divinely in your mm hmmm. I met a queen here. Ironically,
I met a queen here through a friend that was
dating and a guy. She was from Florida and she
moved up here and she was dating a guy and
the guy was a trans chaser. Girl, Honey, I don't

(36:15):
know how he found my number. I heard chase. Wait,
I've heard chubby chaser. This trans chasers. It was another
word for it was a training chasers. Okay, chaser, you
know things done.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
So you got my number through the girl and it's
I'm like, vegetar.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
He was calling me in Florida, So I'm like, who
is this calling?

Speaker 2 (36:37):
Like?

Speaker 3 (36:37):
What is anyway? So my so my girlfriends like, come
on up here. You know this is my boyfriend. You know,
I'm like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 (36:45):
I come up here to Atlanta.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
And I meet who she was living with and my
it was ts Eve this who introduced me to all
the porn self she was living with her. My friend
ironically went back to Florida, got.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Pumped and died the wow got pumped like injection. Yeah, pump.
I just healed up from it. She went back to Florida,
went down there and got pumped died. Wow.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
So me and missus Eve become with friends, right and
she says to me, Uh, I said, girl, I can't
live down there in Florida no more, girl, whatever.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
I'm on tour right now.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
Like as soon as I healed up whatever scab came
over those those those pump sores, I was up the cell.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
I was, I walked. I was back walking the sidewalk again,
and I was like, I can't keep fucking doing this.
You know.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
I went to Georgia. I came up here to Georgia.
She introduced me to Creative Loafing, and and uh, what
do you say? Creative Loafing created the Excitement magazine? Like
all these all these publications where men by transactuals. So sheed,
but is it is it like a classified as they

(38:02):
were classified. She started introducing me to these things. You know,
she was an advanced whoor. I was just you know,
I was a street walk right now. It was just
like this is safer for you. Yeah, and being on
the street. Yeah, you know, I don't walk, ob t,
I don't walk so.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
Real quick the classified for trans women.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
I know, like I'm familiar with heroes we knew about
back in the day, but these were specific for trans women.
And were was it men looking for transit?

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Yeah? Or you can go into truck stops like it's
like a lot of the truckers, like a lot of
the truck drivers that would come and they would call
it was a magazine called hot Chocolate. It was just
a bunch off.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
Were these magazines they were in certain there were some
of the random gay clubs too, magazine.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
When some of them were in the game, listen some
of them. But here's the thing. This is where this
is the I didn't know about it. This is where
the the not the consumer, but this is where the
seller started to understand the consumer. Ain't no straight man
going to no gay Bob. Put that ship in the
sex store. Oh he's going in the sex store.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
That's exactly where he's going.

Speaker 3 (39:09):
He ain't going in the gay look because ain't no
straight ain't no gay man, want no transsexual. Sorry, ladies,
say it again, there's no gay man again. So there
ain't no gay man, want no transsexual. And if he does,
he's not a gay man.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
He's fluid.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Okay, do you believe that we should have their by
gay and then there should be something for trans attracting.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
I'm in fluid.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
No.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
I think that he still should have his the ability
to consider himself straight because we're female presenting regardless of
wherever he goes presenting.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yes, but what about needing intrinsically likes not no longer
attracted to trans women that are postop that wants dick.
So that's and that's what's gonna be my question too,
because you can be attracted and date and have sex
with trans women, right because there are women. However, even
to me, when I peg men when I'm penetrating a man,

(40:10):
oh I love baby peg the stallion. Hello, when I'm
penetrating a man, that's the question I get. Even though
I'm a woman with a vagina and I'm using a
plastic strap. The number one question is, well, aren't they gathing?
And so then what do you differentiate between men who
are tops and bottoms who deal with trans women?

Speaker 3 (40:30):
I think that sexuality and and and and sexual pleasure
is different, like like.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Whatever, sexuality and sexual pleasure different.

Speaker 3 (40:38):
Because here's the thing, like I talked to you earlier
about me, I have I like feed, I will, Yeah,
I like.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
I like I get a I can put the soul
of a foot under my nose and I can have
an erection.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
Wow, seriously, because I need to be a certain type
of Do you like scent?

Speaker 1 (40:54):
Do you like I like the way I like the
way of foot smells after being in the nice you.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
Okay, the size matter, just blink of the toes matter.
I need to know your foot, pettig.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
You are crazy.

Speaker 3 (41:08):
I like all types of feet. I like men's feet.
Like I follow up. I follow up a website.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
I mean a page it's called trapped trapped feet and
slides feet and slide. Yeah, I follow that because they
have it's like trap a trap like boy like, I
like it's like that. Ain't the nice got the stuff
you said?

Speaker 2 (41:31):
You know?

Speaker 3 (41:32):
They they be on their they be in their shoes
and some of the trap trap feet, trapped feet and slide.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
You see it, I do when you see it, says
followed by me, hold on, wait, you gotta find the
other one. But not the niggas in jail. It's a
lot of niggas in jail, and they feed. It's it's
a lot of uh. Okay, they should come they this.
I like seat toes. Do you like toe jo? Like
for jobs?

Speaker 3 (41:57):
I have had a foot job done by me that
knew how to do it like that was into trans
girls that like that knew how to give me a
foot job. You know I've given men foot jobs, you know.
I mean I got into a I got into that
footship like a guy did that to me by like
in my feet. I was like, get off on my feet,
and then you said it. Then I was like, he's right,

(42:18):
you see look it's a cute feet.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
I ain't go okay, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
Is men do not have very nice feat A lot
like they be having a little black toenails and ship.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
They be ashy. Can I tell you something?

Speaker 4 (42:32):
You like it?

Speaker 1 (42:32):
Like that?

Speaker 3 (42:33):
Sometimes a little bit a little like a little dark
skin toe you like a little bit a little on
the dark skids.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
Because I know he can't help that. I know he
can't help that. It's like tiger stripes on a woman.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
He can't help that he got a little He can't
help that. He ain't mean that that's the one you
still put it? No, I just rub it on my
titties and stuff like that. Have you ever have you
ever put a toe. Have you to about you never
put it.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
To on your button because I don't want it to
I don't want to toe to penetrate me. I put
my toe and he sat on my foot. Yeah he's yeah,
he was, but it was it was a little weird.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
I said, niggas kind of raised my pussy when I
like when I'm sucking dick, and I'm just like, I
don't want.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Your pussy, but I definitely like fee on me. I
don't care.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
I've noticed men, especially like in missionary, they love them
feet on their face. So that's why I told you
hearing that that's a fetish for men right now, and
why I called it vanilla.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
That's how it started.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
I'm telling her how I just went out with a
guy who likes feet and I was like, oh, that's
vanilla because a lot of men now are like putting
toes and mouths and yeah, totally like like faces.

Speaker 3 (43:45):
But my man got me into it. Oh a man
did that to me? Made you like yes, because he
started sucking my toes and I got any rection and
I was like, I mean, she saw my first foot experience.
I sucked my friend's toes.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
In a pool and then I was like, oh my god,
this wasn't that.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
We were at a sex resort, were in make resort,
and I don't know why. I don't We was in
a pool, so I don't even know how her foot
got even near.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
My mouth because you were drunk, bitch, I don't know
how that happened. I don't know. Wait, wasn't there.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
Guy my toes at the pool first? I think that's
how I'm gonna tell you this.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
Man, I know, I know.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
After I saw the foot in the foot, I said,
let me get let me get it. I just thought
I was neck.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
She was like time to go.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
You thought I was gonna suck your tone, No, not you.
I just thought there was abody suck man.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Then we started girl. So I'm looking at other people like, okay,
well somebody's.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Foot in and side by the way, this is crazy
that this is what happened that sex uh sex resorts?

Speaker 1 (44:42):
Well, ship, you know you have a COMEANX side. Can
I tell y'all that I'm so reserved now, Oh my god,
I'm being honest. You are a little too lip for
a sex resort. I'm reserved now. I want to tell
you I've done I've done it. So reserve means now
that you've got it out of your system, you just
want one. Oh I don't want to do all it.

(45:03):
It's exhausted.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
Let me tell you why, because even through all of that,
I had to I had to teach you myself how
to not have feelings emotions so much so the majority
of my life I have been detached emotions, detached emotionally,
there's no feeling, there's no connection I had.

Speaker 1 (45:22):
I've had to detach myself. I have not one trans
woman friend that doesn't say this.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
Yeah, I had to detach myself from that. And so
majority of my life I've lived my life in detachment
from emotion and love from a partner. So I'm learning
this stuff now. I'm learning.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
Maddy, we got to talk because this is what I'm
doing dealing with with the book right now.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
The podcast being in your twenties and maybe I mean
they just went through my first relationship as an adult,
but having sex and it being transactional, the disconnect that
you have with how you feel like men should show
up for you, the treatment sometimes the value of yourself.
Once you really get that, now you can't go back.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
I haven't had it. Wow, I thought I thought I
had it from a couple of gentlemen, but I haven't
had it still to this day. Like a true love,
I think it comes in the form of friends, okay,
but not in the form of partners. What makes you
What makes you say that? Because we we a lot

(46:28):
of Like what makes he say that? Like that's my
friend right there, but we're not sexual and he is
my also my bodyguard, but we're not sexual. We don't
have a sexual but we talk every day. Yes, And
but with partners, romantic partners, it doesn't have to get there.
I don't have it interesting, I don't have it. Is

(46:50):
it because of how they are not prepared to be
with you? Is that what you find?

Speaker 3 (46:55):
I think it's because you know, they are all so
emotionally damaged, because I do feel like it's an emotional
damage thing that's with me, you know, because I had
to be emotionally disconnected like that. I was seeing too
many men when I moved he to Atlanta. When I
came from Florida to Atlanta, and I and all that
books and my friend introduced me to all that ship,

(47:17):
and my phone was blowing up. I never walked the
streets again. And then I became the premier prostitute here
because I was from Florida, well and down hood.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Fun FUNQ. I went pretty in I'm gorgeous now because
I was skiing my money. Of course, you know what
I'm saying. Changed, Okay, it's special. Yeah. I want to

(47:48):
ask you something that you asked Mandy and I off camera.
Do you want kids to when you.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Grow and you start being a business woman and stuff
and you start obtaining assets and homes and all this stuff,
and you're like, damn when I die, ain't nobody gonna
get this.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
I don't have nobody to take that on.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Maybe only because of that, I ask you because but
that's the thing, the idea of those material things. When
when I get asked that same question and it's like, well,
what are you what are you leaving behind, Maddie, everything
you've done, like you've left things that are gonna transcend

(48:37):
a home, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (48:39):
The content that you released isn't going anywhere you Somebody's
gonna watch this and be like this and it's you
know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (48:46):
And this all exists beyond us. Like whenever that's asked,
the businesses that you have the lives you've changed. Those
things are what you're leaving behind to care about, where
you're gonna leave a house, what all you've done, and
how you've navigated your life. When you said that this
is your path that God has given you, I relate
so much in that because I do believe that you

(49:07):
were here to change so much more than just raise
one life. And you also give know how many you
know how impactful you are. But this is just a
small little thing to tell you. I went to go
see Was It Bros. With Billy Aikner, and it was
one of the first gay feature films of all time.
Like in a theater I would see by myself in

(49:27):
New York. I'm in a West village, imime, this would
be fun. Where in the West village? You know it's
it's pretty white. But there was a black dude next
to me when you came up on the screen. Him
and I both man at the same time, and he
turned to me, goes.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
Can you leave this bitch?

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Used to do por right, and I'm laughing. And after
the movie he was like, I really wasn't ready to
see that. He's like, I knew it was a white movie.
I knew black people, but like this bitch really was
just in the movie theater and you see TV and
now streaming, it's like it's nothing.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
But when that moment happened, I was like, can there
be another one of you? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (50:06):
Special, I think because there's no because there's no one
like right now, like coming from pornographic movies.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
I'm the only one.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
And I love that you literally like even when you're
searched now, and I think this is so fascinating because
there are so many people who have tried to navigate
and change uh mainstream and go from porn to mainstream media.
When you search you now it's actress. It's not adult action.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
It is actress, and that's it. Nothing before No, I
did the work. Let me tell you why I did
the work. I did the work at the same amount
of energy I put into making myself infamous for being
Big Day Bitch dot Com. I put that same energy,
and I'm gonna tell you very Kim Kardashian of you.

Speaker 3 (50:49):
I went to my mother and I said, Mommy, after like,
after all this stuff in the Big Day Bitch dot Com,
and then my life changed with Vine.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
You know, I don't know how much time we got right,
my life changed through vine ourself. I went to my
mommy and I said, Mommy, listen to me. I don't
want to do no more. I don't want to do
it no more. I'm tired of it and I'm tired
of men touching me. I'm tired of men being having
the ability to touch me and touch because I I

(51:18):
don't think I'm above no bitch, but I know I am.
And them put the assholes that used to tell they
used to think that we were the same. I told
you we was never the same. And the only thing
that kept me the same with them was niggas being
able to call my soul. I said, I want to
do this, bitch. I see that I don't want to
do this. Please, I called. I told my mommy. Me
and my mother held hands like two grand high priests

(51:42):
and pray and she said, if you serious about you
not want to do this no more, I'm going to
go to God. And I went right there with God too.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
I haven't done porn in over a decade, maybe twenty thirteen,
maybe somewhere, maybe like because I had stopped when I
when I started getting mainstream.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Like, what did you want?

Speaker 2 (52:07):
Did you want to be a personality? Did you want
to be an actress. I just didn't want to do porn.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
I didn't know what it was. I mean, I mean,
and then I do want to lean.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
Into the advocacy because you speak out a lot about
people who.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
That happened to twenty fourteen. I'll tell you why. Okay,
twenty fourteen. It happened because the world was changing. I'm
trying to see where I was. Laverne was on the
cover of Laverne Cox was on the cover of Time magazine,
and that's the time when I was doing a vine
and then my shit was popping up and I.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
Was New Weave twenty two inches. Yes, this is how
a lot of people from mainstream found me. From New
Weave nor Wave twenty two inches. Yes, but I was
still promoting the little second video. Yeah, I was still
promoting poorn at the time. And so the conversation became
because that's funny that that ship here. I mean, I

(53:06):
was world wide overnight. How you feel you see that?

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Who was it? Who owns Twitter?

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Now?

Speaker 1 (53:12):
No, it's not.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Okay, Well, Jack, I think just tweeted something. I don't
know what he's still involved with. Oh Facebook, Mark just
tweeted making the quote making a poll.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
About bringing vine back, I would would you? Would you?

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Knowing that we are still so short form content. Now,
I know you have your show, we know TikTok going
over there. Okay, I'm gonna be honest. I want TikTok
to go.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
You want TikTok to go.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
I've made a lot of comments. I had my best
seller and I learned it from TikTok. Just sell it
out eat every week, giving me the It's not that
I don't enjoy using it.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
I don't want to stop anybody's money.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
But I just feel like we're all losing ourselves so much,
and I feel like if we could just remove one
more piece.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
I think too, But I don't want nobody's income to go.
I don't want the income to go. A wait, that's it.
But I think I just want people to just go
back outside, learn what it's like to connect. Motherfuckers. It's weird.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
The reason that we've had so much trouble dating is
ship like this. I really believe the podcast. No no, no,
I don't believe this the podcast. I believe social media
makes it very difficult for people to date.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (54:21):
The way, the way that you interact and if we
just had a little bit less. I actually thought to
myself recently, the last three men I dated had no Instagram,
and the man I'm with now is no Instagram. That
must mean something like, yeah, a nigga, How am I
get an attracted instagramm he was his other phone.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
He was using three different names.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
It's like, I don't know, like I think I must
be attracted to people that are completely the opposite. I'm
traumatized with his other phone. Give me the Instagram, I
go hold you. My home girl just went on a
date with a nigga. He said he had all this,
all this, We couldn't find a LinkedIn his name. He
was attached to some use. I said, girl here SyRI Killer. Nope,
don't date him. Oh you know I had the FBI

(55:03):
my nigga. Yeah, I told Mandy, I think, I said
on the podcast. Because he has no profile anywhere, right,
He's just We go to his mother's house.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
One day and I knew what house it was. He
was like, how did you know the street? And It's like, oh,
because I google the ship up this nigga.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
I found everything, the family tree or grandfather, that what
his nieces look like.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
But it's because when you don't have social media.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
What oh god, I know you're gonna watch this baby,
but or whatever. So I was dating this NFL guy here, okay.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
And that's how I found him. What you mean, that's
how you found him.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
That's how I found out who he was like, because
he had sent me some money okay, and then he
sent me some money again. Then he sent me some
money again, and he had mixed all the names up
because I had been out of the business and all
this stuff happened like right after I got out of
the business, like out of because I just didn't want
to be and I just didn't want men touching me
no more. Right, And so you know, we started sucking around,

(55:59):
it started sexual well, and then we became friends and
then you know, we got into a little situation and
which which we both confirmed.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
Just recently that we was in a relationship. How did
you meet him? Well, you know, he emailed me.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
Wait, this isn't who was confused? They was confused about
you being with right, Okay.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
I no, I don't know. Yeah, you cleared that up.
Oh wait that was you?

Speaker 2 (56:22):
Oh they confused okay, okay, okay, always okay, I know
the tea is.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
They thought that Martell Hope and and me and me
and got out and about and then and.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Then the headline was so yucky because you're an advocate
of the community. The tagline of it was that he's
trying to rebrand himself by aligning with a trans woman
to like.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
And I was just like, Okay, I did too, and
I jumped ahead. I saw you jumped up because I
didn't like. Let me tell you how I jumped.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
I jumped ahead of that ship because I don't want
to be I never And here's another reason why it's talk.
I don't want to be attached to no man. That's
why I know I don't. I don't like d o niggas.
But I'm also not gonna be said, yeah, girl, I'm
fucking such and such.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
That's not my swag.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
I want all you os out there to think that
I'm fat, I'm old, that don't know men want me
because you know I've been a point. I want all
y'all to think that they only won't sit and start,
they only want to. I want y'all to only I
want you to think that that's the only that them,
the only ones they won't because I don't don't attach me.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
To none of them niggas. I don't want to just
I don't want to be attached to none of them niggas. Right,
but please know that ain't the only Please but please
know that, bitch, I was rich while while a lot
of those girls when they were young transitioning.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
I was rich from niggas, m from from them with
they ain't brand tags. But that's enough that, ain't That
ain't a story that I'm ever gonna tell. No, I
never want to be linked to no man and they
and and then my talents are submerged and so great.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
Well and right now that's like the new the new thing,
like the maybe Mama exposing whoever. Like women are now
leaning into getting there starting from who they're fucking, who
they're attached to and not doing which again is why
you said I'm different than you.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
Bitch. Yeah, that's not what I want to do. And
if it takes me longer to go to where I
need to go, I'm fine with that. This is not
a racist the marathon, honey, tuck your ship boom. But
I wanted to say this, right, I gotta go back.
I want to get back Hot Chocolate magazine.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
Being in the back of the sword the straight men
in there finding me put me in this situation to
where you know they're they're they're looking for trans women
in the straight bars or whatever and stuff. My girlfriend,
Miss Eve, teaches me how to do uh, read colds
and ship like that. So I started reading colds and
things and learning how to do web web okay HTML

(58:55):
and all this time. So I come from Florida, I'm
learning how to do all this stuff. I'm like, oh,
I don't need to work for no company. And all
the stuff she done.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Taught me how to do this shit.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
Fast forward boom, I'm coming a big name here in Atlanta, right,
big name. You walk in the porn stores there, I
go on the poster cock hanging out. I didn't have
I earned my own distribution, my own like I didn't
have any distribution company.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
I got my own distribution.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Can I ask you real quick with the men that
were in these magazines only because you said it quickly,
You said you don't like DM men. Then you referred
to the men getting these magazines as straight. Would you consider, however,
a man d L if they don't disclose to a
woman that he dates trans women.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
I think that that. I think that men who date
trans women don't have a safe space. I don't think
they have a safe space to even tell a tell
a person like that. But I mean, don't you think
that DM men don't have a safe space either. That's
what I'm saying. No, No, because you're DMN.

Speaker 3 (59:58):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying, Well all the well, No,
that just men in general who they transform just I
don't think they have a safe space to even just
be open up, even just have an experienced because I
think that they're mean.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
But you wouldn't consider them DL for not disclosing to
a woman, like because that's it all.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
Depends on how they're doing it. Like if you're dating
a woman, if you're in an active relationship with a
woman and all you're doing is having sex with trains, okay,
then that you need to tell this lady what you're doing.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
But if but if a man has dealt with a
trans woman in his past, you don't feel like he
has to disclose that to his next partner. Why I
don't think you need to disclose it unless I'm outside
of your type. I don't ever want to be outside
of someone's type and feel like I'm out the loop.
And that's the thing with bisexuality that a lot of
women there's this dicey thing. I don't give a fuck

(01:00:48):
if you kissed the nigga, fuck whatever happened. But if
you really like to be actible men, I want to
be included in that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Well, here's the thing we're talking about. A man here,
what type do me? And God? We say they chicken sandwich?
Bit what that's true? They got So it's you're still
his type? True, But he just had some some he
probably had an experience. An experience to me isn't worth

(01:01:16):
doing the whole confessional. But you that's what I mean. Yeah,
explor or jail or jail or because it's one of
us in your neighborhood. Experiment's one of us in the neighborhood,
one or two of us in the neighborhood.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
That's the craziest thing to People are acting like trans women.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
Just nooped out of nowhere. Come all the hood niggas
where I was from.

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
Let me not say that, not all of them, but
a good a good click of them niggas doesn't funck
out of me.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
But exploring is so natural and that's why I don't
feel like we're a good clicking of them.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
Niggas don't fucking shit out of me because I transitioned
in front of them, and so it was just like, Yo,
they were intragued, How did you let me see your titties?

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
Let me see how you how you do and they
and they often wanted to know if you still had
your dick.

Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
Yeah, let me sip you still got it. You gotta
pussy down. Then some of them was like, until you
get that deck cut off, you ain't gonna give you
no dick. Then I got older and famous, and you
know it was and then they changed. They would tell
me that offensive to you because we were friends, we
were joking and all that. Until you get you a pussy,
I ain't gonna motherfuck you, you know, dick. Because I's
been like, let me get some of that deck. Let
me you not doing that until you get get you

(01:02:29):
a pussy, and then I'm gonna give.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
You some of the stick. And I feel like that's
the most exciting thing. But it's just fun. And I've
always been a bubbly personality.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
I've always been I've always you know, shared Another nigga
used to want to whoop a nigga as if they
was fucking with me.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
I lived in the trap, in the trap, my my, my,
My duplex. Door was this way. The trap duplex though
was this way. The niggas will come over there, bad
weed the niggas and slides. Then they'll come over.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
Then they'll come over here, knock on the door, and
you got all you gotta. I'm like, you know, but
you know, I don't see and they're like, what you
got to here?

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
You know?

Speaker 3 (01:03:04):
Me us because it's because especially when you're a trans
girl in the neighborhood, your.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
House is marked. Everybody felt with your house is smart,
like everybody knows. Don't be because either they're telling you
don't be fooled by that or either they saying, bro,
that motherfucker got what are they trying to jump out
the back doors? Some of them, Man, this came out
of the back door, you know, and then you know

(01:03:29):
someone came through the front door.

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
Ship, it all depends on the town.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
But today, you know, I've had me and profess love
they love for me after I had a lot of ship,
but I've also had to be emotionally unattached because also
even in my fun times.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Those were those men's experience. I wasn't realizing. I got
one question.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
I gotta ask, come on, I want to know the
interaction you had that is memorable to you of a
woman coming to you about out her neighbors, oh by
her man.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
And whether she was crying, whether she was like, let
me just get I mean I had that a couple
of times. A few times I actually had that about
the boy that rode on the bicycle. Of that to
my because we gave you the fifty dollars, these women
angry with you. It was very much so like.

Speaker 4 (01:04:21):
It was.

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
I just was shook because I didn't know that that
day he had a girl. I was gonna say, the relationships,
I didn't know what it was. You know what I'm saying,
It's just fun, you right, I don't give the fuck.
But he was really really liked me a lot, and
and a little bit of that ship got into the streets.
A little bit got into the streets, and that's how
the girl, you know. But then I found out that
he was a transchaser, so he had done had a few.

(01:04:45):
The girl. I was just a new bitch on the block.

Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
Rights, So the girl was trying to figure out you.
I don't want to call no names.

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
That's what she called me.

Speaker 3 (01:04:53):
Such as as you said, I'm saying, no, I'm I'm
this not because obviously he had been with this how
I found not? Oh, you you've been busied with the
other girls, so you can do this, okay, she said, oh, because.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
I was like, what happened? And it was very much
so like girl, what happened? And it's just like so
you and such and such. I'm like, well, I mean
I know him like I know him.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
Yeah, because if anybody come up to me and ask
me if I ain't gonna I mean, I know him
right here.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
I don't know who you are, period. I don't know
who you are. I don't know who you, but I
know him. Uh, bitch, he's not mind because you're not.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
Gonna catch him at my house because if you do,
I'm gonna put in my side because he can't stay here.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
But what he doing to you, he's not gonna do
to me.

Speaker 3 (01:05:53):
And that's where I'm at too with stuff in life,
like all the things I've done with men, and I
know how men move.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
It makes me. It gives me reservations with me and
like ship because they they listen. That's why we said this.
Why be telling ladies, y'all? Girl, you how you you
can't be thinking about no treads? The man's fucking the
man will fuck this. Cut hold of this pockabook and
right you know everything? Oh yah, y'all got y'all all.

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
We're gonna spread stubs right now by the way real
quick too before we get out. If you guys want
to catch Tys Madison on all the things she's doing,
can you please let them know how busy of a
b you is.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
I am listen. I'm a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
It is. I'm gonna yes. I wasn't not saying I
thought I was gonna smell. I wasn't ready for to
smell this every this, what's everything?

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
I'm a I'm a judge on Rue Paul's Drag Race.
I'm on a host of television shows and series. I
have my own show called The Maddie in the morning
show when I do a segment called fag Talk. I
have a residency here and at Lanta. I want you
ladies to come out the next time if he will
you know me here here in two more weeks, will
be my guest.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
I will.

Speaker 3 (01:07:07):
I have a residency here. It's called the Somatian Morning
Show Live. I said, the City Winery.

Speaker 1 (01:07:11):
We come out.

Speaker 3 (01:07:12):
You know, we do what we do, what I do
in the morning time. You know, I'm always on tour,
I'm always in the city. I'm hosting.

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
I do everything, hosts so lot, I do everything. I
love it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
And if y'all don't know either, I know ain't no
no no more, big big, big bitch dot com. However,
I know a lot of y'all still have your cowboy
boots uh ready for for act two.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
But it's Tis Battison is a graveyard ward god, honeys
beyond honey, yes, god, you know why?

Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
Can I tell you why?

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
Because because I'm dog brown dogs, henning lights, hening beige,
fluorescent beige.

Speaker 1 (01:07:48):
Bitch, I'm black.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
That's motherfucking why, bitch, Because I'm black, I'm black like that.
That was one of the craziest And you know everybody
gagged about that too. Oh you know they gagged, but
they talk about all the things.

Speaker 1 (01:08:04):
You don't got us. Get some you definitely get it up.

Speaker 3 (01:08:09):
Y'all can get my perfume. You visit uh method dot com.
But the ladies you can put the q R whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:08:18):
And everything. It smells so good. But it's also like
this floral give it a little like it. It's better.
It's very.

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
It took me to Leachy. It took me Leach almost
a year to get the right formula that I wanted.
But I do want to see the bottle because I'm
picky on with the bottle of the bottle is simple,
because listen, I like simple bottle. Me tell you the
bottle because it's.

Speaker 1 (01:08:49):
Like Whitney Houston. You know what we did.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
You know, Whitney came out there to pay a jeans
and a T shirt. But that I just want to
see the bottle because.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
It's a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
I'm not a huge fan, but Nicki Minaja's perfume smells
good to the bottle. Looked like I should be twelve.
It's like a Barbie doll head girl. I'm just I'm
just not a fan, so I'm a I like liking
that very simple, simple perfume.

Speaker 1 (01:09:17):
Yes, I love It's just this is when they asked
you what you got on everything is that. I love it.
I love it. I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:25):
But we're gonna have to do a part two. Okay,
sometime soon, we're gonna have emotional it was because it
was gonna get deeper. I'm glad we will well. No,
I'm love I love how deep it was, and because
and did, but because there are girls, and because y'all
did have such different conversations. If you enjoyed tes Madison,
go check out her interview with our girls poor mind.

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
Oh my God, I love my baby, yes love like baby.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
Yesterday, but we wanted to be sure we did also
give just a different interview. You did so great over
there on their show. But y'all can find out more
about Madisonova there. And also, if you want to support us,
head on over to our patreon y'all patreon dot com
backslash Horrible Decisions. We will be back with another episode
next week, as we always see you on Monday. This
has been yet another episode of Horrible Decisions by y'all

(01:10:13):
by Girl.

Speaker 5 (01:10:16):
Fast from the Horrible Decisions podcast. We're sending our condolences
to the family and friends of Dallas ped and of
course the internet's everyone who loved him. He was one
of our favorite moments on Horrible Decisions. Ever, he is
obviously someone that will be hard to forget, and we

(01:10:38):
are so lucky to have some of these podcast memories
that will live on.

Speaker 1 (01:10:43):
We wish all of you peace during this difficult time
of grieving.

Speaker 2 (01:10:47):
Were you turned on by her wearing them first and
then you want to masturbate in them?

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
Well, I gotta be honest with you.

Speaker 4 (01:10:53):
And no one had put the shoe on yet, but
I imagine the person wearing the shoe, WHOA, how fi
are they is? They were just gonna be so fucking incredible?

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
And did you buy her this year? Well? Actually I was.

Speaker 4 (01:11:08):
I was working at Marshall's at the time, okay, and
I'm in the back stock was doing this?

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
I wasn't.

Speaker 1 (01:11:14):
I mean, yeah, I was younger. I never buy marshall
Marshalls didn't I was, I was, I was in my thirties.
Did you take it? Did you do it?

Speaker 4 (01:11:22):
No? I was in the I was just in a
backstock room, and I was like, Yo, the person that's
gonna wear this, she was gonna be so fucking fire,
and she's gonna beautiful, and she's gonna let me fuck
because I made her laugh and shit, oh my god,
like her calfs are so crazy and I just I
gave it up.

Speaker 1 (01:11:41):
I gave it up.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}EP 368: Catching Trans Chasers (Ft. TS Madison)