Ep. 423: The Right Questions To Find Your Future Companion (Ft. MatchMaker Maria)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
decision decisions. It sounded like you was talking to did
Carson you definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Oh wait, you want to say together Decisions Decisions.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Decisions Decisions.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Oh I'm your girl, madyb I'm your girl Weezy.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
And if you don't already know yet, we have a
course that is available when you pre order this book
with No Holds Barred. I just got done sitting down
with Maria Matchmaker area, who's our guests today for the course,
And it's definitely going to be different. It was all
about like green flags, red flags. And it was so
interesting to me because we've heard about you for a
long time. I know you record here matchmaking dating coach.

(00:46):
We've had so many recently, and I was like, is
this going to be the same, And I realized now.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Well, I honestly, with the matchmakers or dating coaches whatever
they call themselves, everyone has different. Like, let's be very clear,
we had one that focused on high network women wanting
to find love and get married. Then we had a
black gay male telling black women how to date, he's great,

(01:16):
he could be great to everyone. I love that we
all have different opinions. I have my thoughts on him.
So when knowing that you were coming on here, I'm
really excited and not expecting the same conversation at all.
I'm really excited to how you feel like someone could
be successful in dating.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Well, honestly, I don't know if we've had a match
maker right, So my conversation I was, what I was
trying to say was we've had dating coaches. When speaking
to you, you gave great dating advice, But it seems like
if I'm a listener of the show, I may be
hearing the same thing. But matchmaking is truly different because
you've got to air people.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Are you like millionaire matchmaker? I'm a fourth generation match maker?
What is fourth generation match My grandmother, her mother, her
grandmother were matchmaker. No way, bo Baby, But I'm not.
It's so different your company a GOFE, Like, what do
you do so at a GOPI match we set people
up for a living, We set up first and second dates,
we coordinate them for our clients. Yeah, and but it's

(02:15):
very different, Like I say, Nepo, Baby and Jess because
what my grandmother did setting up people in a war
torn country in Greece, uh and getting paid in goats.
The matchmaking in the history of it and Greece came up. Yeah, yeah, no,
it's it's interesting because I was actually at an event
yesterday with a bunch of Greek people and they don't
give ash for that. I'm a fourth generation matchmaker. They're

(02:37):
like a few are so am I because match making
was rampant, like you know, Americans love the matchmaking lore
of like generational, but like Greek people are like, okay,
we there's a matchmaker in every county or every village.
And then it stopped in nineteen eighty why what Yeah,
why because Cosmo came to Shore. So Cosmopolitan the magazine,

(02:58):
This is my theory. I was like, this is grea god. Wait,
so the magazine came to Short So you know, Greece
went through a dictatorship in the sixties and seventies and
women had to be conservative, they had to wear certain things.
There was curfews, right, and then we got democracy back
nineteen seventy four, and then you know a lot of

(03:19):
reforms started happening. And Cosmo comes to Shore in nineteen
seventy eight. And what happens in that period is that
people are now reading from British and American writers how
a woman can be empowered, how she can ask for sex,
how she can date, and suddenly all of this new
vocabulary that didn't exist before was in the lexicon. So

(03:41):
then fast forward to nineteen eighty one. This this the
one of the parties is running on women's reform, getting
rid of dowries, making sure that women and men are
paid equal, making sure women have full access to contraceptives.
So women and men immediately get full rights in nineteen
eighty one. And also women stop changing their names because
of this reform. So in which oh you know they

(04:01):
did it? Give arranged marriage? Is that why matchmaking? No,
it's just match meeking went away from the matchmaker in
your village and your community, or your parental match meeking.
Like my in laws met in the seventies, so they
had parental match meeking at work, whereas my parents met
in the eighties, and that's a love marriage. And what
gave way was that match meeking done by like my
grandmother was handed off to the meddling best friend. So

(04:23):
it's still to this day when in Greece. When people date,
they date like my parents dated, which is let's say
you and I were dating. Let's say you're the woman,
I'm the man. You're a woman. But let's say you're
the woman, I'm the man, and we're dating. When we
have a party at our house or it's your birthday,
we're going out, You're gonna invite all your girlfriends. I'm
gonna invite all my guy friends and they have to approve. No, no, no,

(04:45):
they're just they're just we're all just co ed mingling.
And essentially you would none tell your friend like, oh
I like this person or I like this person. That's
what happens in the city. Bring an ex, yeah, friend
of a friend. But no, but they're actually friends, right,
It's just your friends are pairing up with each other.
And because because of how we get married there, we
have this concept of kubaria where the priest does not
put the you know, it's not your official witness. You

(05:07):
have an official witness who's part of your family. So
hear me out for a second. We have this, We
have this concept of kuba. Whoever introduces you, I just
want to say, this bitch took my whole outline. I'm
so sorry.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
No, no, no, I'm teasing you. You know, we can dig
into the history of stuff. Now this was in the Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
So kubaria is essentially if you, if you introduce me
to my spouse, then you would be my official witness
at the wedding. And because you introduced us, you'd be
putting the rings on our fingers, not my husband. To me,
you are putting the rings on my fingers. You are
the accountability partner person from the church. Not like that,
does it right? Oh wait, I would put the ring
on your finger, not even my partner. Yeah, oh wow,

(05:51):
right if you you and oh girl fall out. Well,
so the church, our culture believes so because you're you're
my kubata for life, right, So that that means that
Think about now, if it's in the church, it's anointed
by oil. Oil is thicker than blood. You are my
chosen family. This is why Greek weddings are huge, because

(06:12):
when someone invites me, they got to invite my cubata,
by my other kubata whoever is you know, who are
my kubadi? Who are this is my chosen failing that
has such a higher influence than your biological family. H wow,
like you're you would be a higher ranking than my
own sister. It's like a god mom out of baptism,
Like this is a religious thing. This is a kid

(06:34):
that's again and now a new kubato so again anointed
by oil. That is my Like this is the Greek culture,
this is Greek religious. It's not religious. To write it
into religious this is why it's like cut it out already. Yeah, okay,
So question for you. I was digging on your website
and I was like apply. Yeah, now one would think

(06:56):
you got to get on the dollars for this job.
Like why wouldn't you a client? Why do people have
to apply for matchmaking service? And like what's the criteria?
What your first match has to be with your matchmaker? Okay,
like a therapist possibly, although I can't do things that
therapists can do, just like they can't do certain things
that I can't do. Right, therapists can't necessarily tell you,

(07:17):
you know, break up with them. They have to get
you to figure out your triggers and acknowledge the emotion
that you're feeling. Whereas I can be a little no
nonsense and be like just break up with them. But
with that said, when someone applies, we have to interview them.
We have to figure out do we have matches for you.
I don't want to be unethical and take someone on
that I have no one for, or if I don't
have the emotional bandwidth to deal with their personality for

(07:39):
the next six months. It's really personal.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
Are what are three personality traits that would keep you
from bringing someone on as a client.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Narcissism Okay, that has its own but even though you
find that.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Women have it too, because I think it's a bulge
of buzzword, Like, are you really seeing it more with
mem or is it pretty equal?

Speaker 1 (07:58):
I see it more with men. Also, if like another
reason why wouldn't we wouldn't take someone on is like
they really lack the self awareness of what they can
attract or we think that they're going to be on
Let's stop there, hold on, kenvinth Samuels.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
They lack the self awareness on what they can attract. Yeah,
I would like to read this review I told you about,
so I really want to dig into this because this
was a review.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
From from Google Reviews. Somebody reviewed my car, somebody who
did not hire me.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
I mentioned this to Maria before she walked in because
I didn't want to seem like I was coming to you.
But this was a very interesting review to me by
Sierra Kahan. I was a follower of Maria the CEO,
a fan of her content until she responded to a
question from a follower and the question was why men
in general have certain traits in dating. She answered the

(08:53):
question simply by saying, when men are privileged. That question
had nothing to do with race. It was offensive to
me being someone who is white, and as a white partner,
I wouldn't want to sign up some dating advice from
Maria after seeing that post.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
The first thing I actually thought about was not race.
When she said privilege in the message, I thought, oh
a guy with money. Well, the first thing I'm thinking
is as a white ass woman, the word triggers you
because of how we associate white privilege. R No, there's
a lot of I'm Greek, but I say I identify

(09:29):
as freaking Italian. We say are spicy, sure, but like
this is why we need like the in schools because
you know, this is exactly what that conversation is. But
I want to talk to you about what she's commenting
on the post was someone was asking me why do
so many men online say they like to they've quit
their jobs to go hiking across every national park, or

(09:53):
like they like to go bungee like you know, they're
doing like risky adventure as like a flex And I said,
you only see these kinds of activities from predominantly white
men because they have they don't they are trying to
use you know, they haven't. They have so much white
privilege that they have not had access to suffering, so

(10:15):
they want to do it's like burning man, let's go before. Yeah, now,
in terms of what you can attract.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yeah, how does someone know that they're a six or
a seven? And how do you then cope with someone
on what they can't attract? How do you basically tell
someone you're not.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
That that's what you need to lower your safe it's
not even ugly, but more just like for your powerage,
like like well before you can't I mean, but like
I think that again, the way I mentioned this white
woman leaving the comic clearly was triggered by the word privilege.
There's a lot of people triggered by the word mediocre

(10:54):
or average or well and so, and unfortunately there's a
false sense of inflation sometimes to the ego of who
someone is and realistically who they can get, but.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Also the realisticness of like who I have access to,
Like I have a client right now, be with a billionaire, okay,
And he'll say like, oh, I want to date the
cover model that was on Vogue this week. Okay, I'm like, Okay,
how how do I get access to that person? Like
that person as like a huh, Like I see what

(11:28):
you mean, Like, well, no, just access to getting like
communicating with her. Yeah, yeah, And I know it's my
job to do that, and I'll find every way to
do that, the literal job to just get who they want. No, no, no, no,
but it is my job just to leave no stone unturned. Okay,
but I'll ask more questions like well, what do you
like about her? Yeah, like what exactly do you It
can't just be attraction, Like there's other elements to long

(11:50):
term compatibility, so you know, tell me more. You just
find her attractive. You want me to discover if she's
a fit for you based on your lifestyle and your
communication and like patterns and all that stuff. So you know,
we have peakyer clients. It's okay too, And I use
I don't use that term loosely. Okay, you know it's
okay to have standards, but your standards are picky if

(12:13):
you don't put yourself in opportunities to find the people
that you're looking for. Explain more. Like. I will hear
from women who say, for instance, I want to meet
a Jewish man who is six feet tall and makes
this amount of money. And then it's like, okay, but
where do you live. Oh, I live in Oklahoma. Well
you're in the wrong state.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yeah, let me ask you this. When it comes to
self awareness on which you can attract. Would you a
date a client that, let's just say, would only date
one religion or race? We all the time, so you
don't mind if someone's like, only want to lat to
you know, guy, I only want this like because we
hear sometimes that that blocks us from love or.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
I will try. It's way less now. So when I
started my business sixteen years ago, people were very like
race specific and religion specific. I will tell you that
the last three years, that's not really common anymore. Really,
so I think that's why liberal people but to me,
not race.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
But as a matchmaker, then you would you find it
to be possible to find a match between two people
that do have religious different religious beliefs and backgrounds.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
It depends on your participation of that faith, okay, right,
So when we ask you how about faith, we actually
have two separate questions. The first question is worded what faith,
if any, were you raised in? Okay, Christian? Right? And
then the next question is how important is that to you?
Not at all? And that is one of the options.
Another one is like it's just cultural, like they celebrate Christmas,

(13:45):
or it's I'm very serious, I'm serious, right. So I
having those two questions that allows us for to have
a conversation about religion. We talk about religion every single day.
We meet about forty people a week talking about religion,
because that is you know, I'm not just setting you
up on dates. I'm trying to set you up with
potentially the first future parent of your kid. And people

(14:07):
will break up over religious future with that child, like
how they plan to raise it. So I will ask, like,
I want to give you an example really quick. I
had a client who he was Muslim, and he said
he was open at dating women that were not Muslim,
and I'm like, Okay, that's cool. Yep, plenty of women
want to day Muslim men. That's great, tell me why
you broke up. Well, let me tell you about tell

(14:28):
me why you broke up with your last girlfriend. And
she's like, well she was Mormon, and I'm like okay,
and she goes and she didn't want to convert. Oh well,
now so you can be no, no, no, So I said,
if you're going to hire me, you're only meeting Muslim women.
I'm not in the business of trying to get people
to convert religion.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
Now here's where I've got a question. Every week we
do a reactionary on decisions Decisions. Without playing this video,
we can briefly chat a little bit about two celebrities,
Alexis Sky and Britney Renner, who changed We are guessing
Britney Renner changed her religion for a man, whereas Alexis
Guy mentioned that she did. Now, as far as changing religion,

(15:15):
a lot of people say you shouldn't change yourself for somebody. However,
if you just asked Mandy how important is it to you,
and she said not at all. If you found a
match for Mandy knowing that she doesn't really care, but someone.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Else, really, she's not a match for him. She's not
a match for him.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Even if this person would be willing to convert, do
you think that it would be okay if someone's open
to whatever. Do you not want to find people that
are doing that? We're just seeing it very often. My
mom also converted to be with my father to Mary.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
That's great. So that's old in times, right, Yeah, but
a lot of people convert. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
I have a friend recently converted to being a Muslim
because she was dating a guy who was Muslim and
they ended up having a child together.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
The longer together.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
But I've literally been in witness of my friends who
have converted, And to me, if religion is not something
seeped into your family, your current lifestyle, I think converting
becomes fairly simple in terms of religion being a way
of life.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Maybe now I.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
Have to add different practices into my life, but when
you're not as spiritually grounded into whatever your religion was,
I find it to be very simple. And mostly because
of historical ways women to convert for a man, that's
that's common, not only throughout history, but especially if a
woman is not so rooted in her own religious beliefs,

(16:41):
converting actually doesn't seem to be very difficult.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
It finally has an example of a man converting. Actually
it's the only one. As someone who's Greek Orthodox, I've
mostly seen only men convert. Really, Yeah, that's really popular.
They want the Greek anyway.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
So no, it's a whole thing. But I just want
to kind of finish the point that you were just making, Mandy,
which is that I do ask everyone who signs up
what religions are you open to dating? So that gentleman
that I just talked about, you know, I did set
him up with a lot of women that were not Muslim,
but every single woman that I set him up with,

(17:18):
she was open at dating a Muslim man. And then
when I asked her, would you open up that's in
the conversation. Would you be open a converting converting? Absolutely?
So I think he met like four women that were
not Muslim right now who were open to it. Did
you end up matching him with someone yet? Yeah? But
they broke up, so I got to back to the
drawing board with him. Interesting, how long were they dating?
I think like six months? Okay, long time.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Now let's go from a lot of sex, So I
want to know does sex come up We've been talking
about on this podcast for years. Sexual compatibility. Is that
a little too deep for a matchmaker to be discussing?
Do clients bring it.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
Up with you? I've had potential clients bring up sex
like kinks.

Speaker 3 (17:55):
I was going to say, do you have and do
you specify like a BDSM greater chart or things like
even going on dating apps and I was on field field.
I know for me, I would not be interested in
a dom a dom sub. All of these kind of
conversations only come up with people who are comfortable talking

(18:16):
about sex. So if they're hiring a matchmaker, sex could
be top on their list. It could be number five.
But there are dynamics and sex that could make people incompatible.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
But like, what are them even sexual conversation? Oh? Not
on dates? Not on not Like I don't want you
talking about sex on dates at all? But do you
know I will? I always ask is there something I
have not asked you that you think I should know? What?
Do you care when you do that? You well, they're

(18:49):
in trauma. But there I don't hear that much because
at the end of the day, I'm just trying to
facilitate a first and second date with matches because we
coordinate your first and second date with a person, right,
because I know only do I want you to go
on a date. I want to cultivate that and get
you on a second date. I don't want you waiting
two weeks and we losing that momentum. When do you
leave them to after the second date?

Speaker 3 (19:11):
After the so you you match them, they go to
the first date, they're like, I'm interested. You set up
the second date, and then you let them go until
they come back and say it didn't work.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, how much do you say? Sometimes I don't. They
never come back, And then I'll read the New York
Times spouse sections and it's like they met through a
friend and I'm like, say my name, wait, it happened
nine times. Now shut up.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
You feel like people do that because they're slightly ashamed
of coming to you.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
They used to be not anymore now it's everything has
shifted the last two years. So now people are like, oh,
I'm using matchmaker Maria, and I'm like, oh, like it's
so different, Like I think people have now suffered enough
dating fatigue online where it's like a flex to hire
a matchmaker. Yo, Can I ask you?

Speaker 3 (19:56):
Can I ask you about like you said, in the
last two year, there's been a different response to matchmaking. However,
there was like a viral TikTok recently where a woman
seemed really shamed in the comments for spending ten thousand
dollars on a matchmaker.

Speaker 1 (20:10):
I saw that for your guy, the guy that can
he's not ours.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
I'm kidding what I mean, like and used her. Yeah,
she used him.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
She didn't use a matchmaker. She's a date dating dating coach.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
But even though I know friends and a lot of
our listeners if they're own dating apps, the dating apps
now have found ways to monetize, like you can't see
certain likes or send messages without upping the tier. No
one judges someone paying twenty dollars a month for a
dating app.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
But this girl seemed to be really You understand the
judgment because I don't. When I was reading it, I
was following it with my sister, who happens to also
be one of my matchmakers on my team, so she's
also a fourth generation. Were very different, though, but she
and I were. We went through all those comments because
we're trying to understand, like, where is this outreaching, where
it's coming from? This I'm not aware. It's coming from

(21:02):
the fact that ten thousand dollars is a lot to some,
okay and not to her. We are not having any
discussion about the twenty dollars two hundred and forty a year.
But did you want to dating? It was all coming
from a certain group of people.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
No, I one percent think this is the value that
people placed on it, two hundred and forty dollars a year.
I was one hundred percent percent spending twenty bucks on
Hinge not even knowing it. So that's two forty a year.
Maybe I spent ten bucks on Riya. I may have
been spending somewhere upwards of five hundred dolls a year
in subscriptions for dating, not because I'm desperate, just because I'm.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
Like, I want to see tall, I want to see black.
That was my thing.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
I will so if we don't have ten thousand dollars
to spend. It's much like when someone tells you they
bought an expensive fair shoes, Well, are they rich or
do they not have so?

Speaker 1 (21:46):
To your ability partner, to your point, though there is
a socioeconomic I think yes, relation to it.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
That did seem to be where we saw the outrage
from yes, was because it went viral even on on
black Twitter, on spear on all of the things. So yes,
probably a socioeconomic sense to what we they's point is
in your point is in terms of the people that
seemed outrage. But also I would say within our culture,

(22:13):
within our history, if we go back even to and
I don't want to take it all the way back
to slavery, or even when we think of like where
our ancestors come from, there's not any history of people
paying for for matchmaking or relationships or things like that.
It's just not we either meet someone within like the

(22:36):
reach of our of our family or that's it.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
I would say.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
More so, white people are wealthy people within their history,
they went and bought who they wanted to marry into
the family. We don't have that within our culture.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
We don't let me let me. I want to. I
want to talk about what you're saying, cause I think's
actually really important. Okay, the Black community, and that's a
subculture in itself, right, Yes, the Indian American community, the
Greek American community, in American community, Taiwanese American community, Like

(23:09):
look at these subcultures, what these subcultures have in common
is that they have their own little chamber of commerce events,
they have their own parties. They have like, you know,
one group as a Kinsinara, the other one has Paska.
These are all really social events where you might not
need to hire a matchmaker or a dating coach. You
already are meeting a lot of people. It's funny what

(23:29):
you're talking about. I've experienced from the Greek side. So
when people look at me, they're like, oh, you must
have basically Greek clients. I only get like two or
three Greek clients a year. Greek people are hypersocial, and
they go, why would I ever hire a matchmaker? Why
would I ever hire a dating coach? And that's a
fair assessment when you come from a social subculture. Our

(23:52):
culture is social, right.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Honestly, I actually think the reason that Animar is important
for the girls that go out all the time. All
of the advice he was giving seemed like people that
were unsuccessful and unsuccessful with dating. They were going on
dates and not getting to the finish line or getting
stuck in the situationships That felt like what his and
feels like what his content is tailored to in my opinion,

(24:16):
and I think hiring a coach to get the best
out of dates is good to.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
People hire our company as a coach. But the dating, yeah,
it was everything right, we have the agapi intensive.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Before we get to your tears really quick, you mentioned
your sister. Yeah, matchmakers, what's the criteria and do they
need to be married before we get there?

Speaker 1 (24:38):
The wait wait, okay, good question. I know before we
get there.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
Only because I really liked where we were going with
the what we didn't speak solely to Then you brought
up Greek and then so why do you think then
when you saw the comment you saw us in the comments?
I do want to put a boat tie on maybe
why we because this is our audience.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
Because it's all why our audiences Like that's I saw
myself in the outrage in the sense that like I
have gotten this outrage from the Greek community. I have
had people from churches call my church and be like,
how dare she charge something that she should be giving
away for free? And I think what the conversation needs

(25:19):
to shift on is and when people hire me as
a coach is always what all I can do is
hold your feet to the fire. What Annwar did and
what I do is we make you accountable to the decision.
I just had a woman tell me that, you know,
she's about to get engaged and the guy that she met,
she met him a week after a situationship had ended,
and she said, if I had not hired you and
you didn't teach me you know why it didn't work

(25:41):
with the last guy, I would have mourned that relationship
for three to six months, like I did every other
situationship in my life. And frankly, I'm thirty five. I
don't have time to be mourning that long. But because
you gave me these tools in this vocabulary and how
to work through why it didn't work, I was able
to mourn it in a week and then put myself
out there and then find my fiance. And I think

(26:02):
that's what an war is doing. And I think it
like it's okay that some people are outrage because you know,
people get outraged over everything. Right. I could put down
that I like pancakes on threads, and then someone's like
you don't like waffles. Ye're like okay all the time, right,
And I've gotten that outrage that that woman has gotten
from the person that's providing the service. I didn't force

(26:23):
anyone to sign me a check right people's and that's okay.
Like I can only work with the people that pay
me period, and that's that's okay. You know everything else
the opinions don't matter. Now should I answer her question? H okay?
So now how to become a matchmaker? There is an
extremely low barrier to entry in my industry and what

(26:45):
that does and what I'm constantly telling because I mentor
a lot of I was really loud. I mentor a
lot of matchmakers and for the last sixteen years is
I have learned that ninety nine percent of matchmakers that
launch will usually shut down within eighteen months. And that
is because it is very hard to service someone. It's
very easy to take someone's money, it's very hard to

(27:06):
service You're dealing with someone's most vulnerable state. You're dealing
with their personal life and how they show up on dates,
and if you don't have the methodology to recruit the
right matches for that person, it's going to be very
hard to service them and complete that contract. You get
burnt out, the emotional bandwidth might not be there, so.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
The people have to have like semi of a rolodex.
Then to work with you, Like, hey, I'm a matchmaker
as well, Maria, I have this log of guys.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
I don't know. Yeah, if you have, if you have
a methodology of like trying to recruit certain people into
your database, like we have an extensive database of like
thirty thousand people that are inbounds, that's another thing. So
what's that mean? So there's in business, there's inbound marketing
and outbound marketing. So outbound marketing as a matchmaker would
be for me if I were on the subway, I
see someone cute and I'm like, here's my card. You know,

(27:52):
I have a match for you. Wait, by the way,
I've never fucking done that.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
Okay, if you look at for good look at people,
I ain't gonna hold you.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
Uh, shut up.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
To the sex club owners and things that I know,
like the people that.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
I know shout out to Dakota Johnson who did it
in the trailer for the material.

Speaker 3 (28:10):
They will literally see good looking people and be like, hey,
we have a party that we throw would love for
you to come.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
And just because they want to curate the room. I know,
like even when we had street promoters, that was the
way in which they got the pretty girls into the clubs.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
On South Beach or any city through throughout America. That
is the way they got im.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
I mean, I've seen you because looking pay and so
that was but you don't do that. But no, we
do not do that. That's actually the principle of my
own company. Not or no, no outbound marketing, because that's listen,
what happens is when that person comes in from outbound
I had, they don't know who I am. They don't
believe in the magic of mashpeaking. They think they're just
scratching my back. And I'm like, I don't need you

(28:51):
to just scratch my back. I've got plenty of matches, right.
I might meet someone at an event. I was an
event last night. I met a woman and she's like,
I want to join your dad base And I'm like, good,
because I think I might have a match for you.
Like I let it be their idea. So what the
inbound is is I try to create content. I have
a podcast, I have a book coming out. I want
people to believe in me and my team, and then
on their own go to the website a gopymatch dot com.

(29:12):
You join the database. It's free for women to join
the database men because I only take male clients. I
have a partner or an affiliate partner who only takes
female clients. Okay, So if a woman joins our database
and says, okay, Marie, I want to hire a matchmaker,
will be like, let's have a conversation so I can
steer you to the right matchmaker because I need to
match you with the matchmaker. But we only take men,

(29:34):
So for me, I don't wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
It's fine. You only take men. What does that mean?
Because I'm thinking you service men and women. Know I
a service woman, only mainly for coaching because that has
a higher success rate. For me, you only match men,
so let me tell you. But it's cross matching. So
I will never set up a woman with a man
that she's not enthusiastic to me. Okay, don't. I don't
believe in throwing spaghetti on the wall to see if

(29:55):
it sticks. I want, first of all, I need a
woman to have a great dating experience through us, because
on the weekends, all women come together and they talk
about the two d's they do dating and dieting and
shuts up. Don't be in there. I do it I'm
in the girl wouldn't be talking about died because oz epic. Now, okay,
talk about the other two days. So two d talking

(30:17):
about dating and deck. Okay. So when they talk about dating,
if they had a good date, they're going to tell
their friends, and those friends join a database if they
don't have a good date. Let me tell you. There
have been times where my clients are on I'm like,
why did you say that on the date? How did
you do that? I'm sending like her the woman or
mes scarf like please be I'm like, I just want
to make sure she's like. I want to make sure

(30:38):
women feel safe. I want to tell you the why
I typically only take mail men for matchmaking. I love
spending my whole day talking to women, Okay. I'm a
girls girl to my core. Okay, And as a result,
if I have male clients, you know, then I get
to spend my whole week and the rest of my
team gets to spend their whole week talking to women
all day. Is exactly if I had female clients, you

(31:01):
would have to talk to men. I don't like most men.
I get it. It must be easier to match men
if you don't like most men. Why you don't do
lesbians We used to do. We used to have the
biggest LGBTQ match meeking service, the Coffee Match used to
own Mixology. We sold it to we have We are
now partners with the biggest gay match meeking service and

(31:22):
the biggest lesbian match meeking service. So we send them
the leads because I think you know.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
So when somebody comes to you and you're like, I
don't know if you like fuzzy, what.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Do you do with the bisexuals? We asked them, you
have to for match making. You kind of have to
pick a lane. You could do both, you could do both,
but I have to take you to the right matchmaker.
Because I've taken by clients, I've taken gay clients. What's
interesting is to go back. I want to circle back
now to that social club right when we had gay

(31:51):
men clients that is a really social subgroup. They okay,
So the only gay clients that we would track were
people who worked usually in energy or they couldn't you know,
they traveled to countries where they could get killed. They
under the cover, under the phone. Oh no, So like
they would hire us because they want a date, but
they can't be out, they can't go out right.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
Yeah, it's a lot funny to talk about, like things
with people that are working with wealthy clients.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
My life being climents with the bus dude within a month.
I don't think I've ever had a success rate that high.
It was great, But then the thing is like I
don't have enough I have. You know, a lot of
match speakers in the last eight years have started to
pick a lane because of emotional bandwidth. So what happened
was when we decided in twenty seventeen, okay, let's just
take straight men as clients. Then we were able to

(32:41):
just look for straight women before we had at that
time LGBTQ straight men straight women, and it was like
too many plates spinning and you're you have to change,
you have to code switch. Yeah, you know, like when
you're talking, for instance, to a gay man and he's
over fifty, you might have to talk about the trauma
of losing their friends during the AIDS epidemic, right, and

(33:01):
you know, like or like are you on? Prep are
you a top? Are you you have? All these other words?
And then in the closet for so long, right, the
thing is coming up, and then like a minute later,
you have another meeting with a straight woman who's thirty eight,
desperate to have kids and wants to only date in
her religion, and he has to be a he's not
really ready to be a father. Yeah, And it's like

(33:22):
I'm like, you know, and at some point, because I've
been in business since like two thousand and eight, two
thousand and nine, at some point, like I had just
had a kid in twenty seventeen, and I was like,
something has to give. I can't. I can't take this
home with me. I get that. So you were in
business before you're married. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
I want to talk about this because it's very interesting
to me that dating coaches are trusted when married. And
this is why I was bringing it up because I
kind of agree even if marriage wasn't the goal, because
you're like, oh, you made it through this thing. It's
almost like I never completed college. Okay for me at

(33:56):
this point, I don't need a college degree for the
things I would like to do. However, it's a great
seal and stamp of approval for someone that wanted to
hire me because they're like, oh, wow, you did this thing,
you made this huge accomplishment. It is a very big
accomplishment to complete college. I feel the same way about
marriage and dating and met a lot of matchmakers and
poor marriages though, And I really am curious, what is

(34:19):
it about when you started that people trusted.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Did anyone never say, well, you're not? It's funny? Where
the fuck is your match? So that's actually not the
question I had. I started my business when I was
twenty three. I was a baby. I'm very tall, so
I've got tall girl privilege. So people always thought I
was older because I wouldn't take no dat in advice
from a twenty three year old? No are you kidding?
Did you have twenty three year old? So what I
would tell people is I was thirty, so I was

(34:44):
already lying about my Age' funny because when I turned thirty,
I was just like, who cares, I've been thirty for
seven years And if anyone ever asked, I met my
husband at twenty, like we started dating when I was
twenty eight. But for five years I was a single matchmaker.
But I was always There was never a period where
I was like single for a really long time. I've
always been like monogamous relationships or like there were two

(35:07):
instances of six month situationships with two men, which but
what was interesting was I would tell people when they
would ask, which was rare. I would say, I'm dating,
like I am thirty years old and I'm dating, and
that was enough. People weren't asking for more. What they
cared more about. When you're about to spend that money,

(35:27):
you don't really care about your matchmaker's relationship status. You
care more about their recruitment methodology, like how are you
this personality going to attract the woman that I'm looking for? So, like,
for instance, before I said, you know, your first match
has to be with the matchmaker. So there will be
men who might come to me or even women who
might come to me and say I want to hire you,
and they might do Burning Man. Right, I'm not their matchmaker.

(35:49):
There is a match maker, but wow does that niche?
I do not attract a lot of women into my
database that are would be into that sort of lifestyle.
I mean, I'm not talking about the hardcore, not the
one time, not the guy that took the helicopter. No, no, no,

(36:10):
I'm talking about I've had a lot most of my
clients I've done Burning Man. So don't don't misunderstand what
I'm saying here, like the burners, like a little bit
more on the hippie side, super creatives like, I'm not
their matchmaker. My clients tend to be working in risk
management black Rock Goldman, like I am dealing with What
about creating years, there's another I think there's other matchmakers
that work better with creators. Same same with non monogamy,

(36:32):
there's another matchmaker for that.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
So with professionals, that's interesting, Like creatives and professionals.

Speaker 1 (36:38):
I want to know what you think. I attracted a
lot of creatives in my database.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Do you not think because I really like that combo.
I used to date a man that worked for JP,
very high up.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
That would have been a good match with you too.
That would have been a great match between you two.
Well we dated three years to read the book. You're
the line piece of shit, but we match right like
we were attracted to each other.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
And I wonder date the creative, But then why are
creatives getting a different.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
So I just want to say that it's not that
you're creative, it's that you're entrepreneurial. And I think that
entrepreneurs to make really poor matches with other entrepreneurs because
you have a baby. This is your baby, Your podcast
is your baby, your studio is a baby. That's your baby.
And if you're an entrepreneur, your baby takes precedence over

(37:29):
this baby. So if you're and I'm I'm so sorry.
I don't know who what your partners do. So I'm
not trying to offend you or give you a midlife crisis.
I'm not the same investors.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
I'm not with entrepreneurship real estate investment in a way.
But I was wondering recently, is my relationship working so
well because of the flexibility with time and the schedules
this man I dated someone with a nine to five
even though great money. Now I have health insurance jump
all over the world with me because his money's made

(38:00):
on his phone, through his tenants whatever. Like, maybe this
is really a better fit, and maybe I should have
been looking for people that didn't have such a demanding schedule,
because I do.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I can't answer that question because I haven't temperamentally typed
you yet. I don't. I would have to like be
in the mode to like personality type you. I have
a feeling you're an explorer, though just based on the
little that I know you. The fact that you just
told me you didn't finish college. And I write about
this in my book, it's in chapter two. But you

(38:30):
seem to me like an explorer, and that means that
your match is also someone who's an explorer who jumps
with you. You seem like a builder, which is fun.
If you are, that's a person who believes in like
you can still be someone who likes to have fun.
My sister's a builder. But like you like a certain

(38:52):
order of things, you like a certain process of things. Yeah,
you like it when there's like a hierarchy or some
sort of precedent and tradition to go on. I have
a feeling, and I only just met you today, but
I have a feeling that I bet you to fight
and knock heads on on let me no, no, no,

(39:12):
I'll tell you on what. Welcome to the party. Hold on, no, no, no,
hold on. You can still be friends building confriends of explorers.
Don't get me wrong. I can tell you what you
fight on because if I am correct, if you are
an explorer and you're telling about who you're dating, that
totally makes sense that you would both be like this.
I have only spoken to Mandy for literally thirty seconds
before we started recording, and I was like, okay, literally

(39:35):
seems like a builder, So like, watch your words, talk
in precedence, don't don't surprise her, Like this is what
I do, right, I have to read personalities for a living.
So the kind of fights that a builder explore friendship
or relationship would have is you have a certain order
of how you like to do things, and she's constantly
wiping the lines away of that. Let's be free. You

(39:56):
are cotantly thinking from your gut, whereas you exactly you
excel in freedom. You have a lot more vitality. You
were always going to seem younger than Mandy because of
that vitality. You are more traditional and I'm not saying sexually,
you're attesting freedom to care for each child like she
is Queen Elizabeth Ion and you are Princess Diana. Okay, Like,

(40:21):
do you understand what the difference is here? No? No, no,
I definitely appreciate what you're saying because I had no
And this is not a bad even my sis. There's
a builder.

Speaker 3 (40:31):
So I even hearing what is making sense for her
and her partner, Like.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
That's not gonna makes sense for you to build her.

Speaker 3 (40:38):
I just dated someone who was retired, and as soon
as life picked back up for me, him doing nothing
and being mad that I was busy was like, oh,
get out of.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
Retire but doing nothing else different than no, the freedom.
I didn't need someone your match is a guy. No, no, no,
Well I have someone who's really busy right now.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
He's an actor. But like, I'm so happy he's about
to be on set like all summer. So I'm like, oh, nigga,
I'm busy.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
You busy. This is great.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
Like I don't like, I didn't want my partner to
be able to just be everywhere with me all the time,
because that's not what I want in partnership.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
And I remember, it's so crazy.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
Because me and my ex actually got into an argument
because in me waiting for the world to open up.
At the time, I was looking to invest in an
eighteen wheeler truck. My best friend ended up doing it,
and immediately I went to telling him, great, you could
be the driver.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
And I immediately went to try to hire him to
get him a job.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
And when I ended up opening my studio Instaid and
didn't go that route, we ended up having an argument
because he was like, I feel like you just want
me to work for you or do this, and I
was like, hey, I want you to do something. You
being retired wasn't fulfilling for me to be with someone
who could just do and be there whenever I needed.
And I thought I wanted that at one point, because

(42:00):
I did want someone there when I said be there.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
But then it did start to be like, I don't.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
Know if the I didn't want to Any types necessarily
match goals though, because I could be the photos from
a builder. Being rich in life to me is time
like this is explore speak. I want money and my
mother fucking time. I hustle hard as fuck. I'm telling
you I also probably.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
Gets your second out road types too. I think you're
a builder director, and I think you're an exploring negotiator,
which is like wild, because that is what is keeping
your This is what's keeping your friendship, is your director
and your negotiator, or is what's keeping you guys glued together?
And that's a good thing. And I think I think
you know. Look, the point of personality typing is not like, Okay,

(42:43):
you're not a match. It's about you can If you're
a builder, you can date an explorer. But you have
to set that expectation early on. Communicate constantly. Here is
what makes me feel less anxious, especially what makes me
feel confused? Yes, and I think I think that's it's
so so much of what makes a relationship a poor

(43:04):
relationship is because we are not communicating enough what we
expect from other people. But also being self aware of
this expectation is like, also what are we may not know?
So Mandy's a builder. There's four types. So this is
actually from a past mentor of mine, doctor Helen Fisher.
Unfortunately she passed away about six months ago for reading

(43:26):
my book, damn it, but I talk about her in
chapter two. She came up with the Helen Fisher inventory system,
which it resembles a lot of what my grandmother's personality
typing system was. She used the Greek gods, right, Zeus, Artemis,
Athena era and what an aphrodite And so there's four types.
There's a director, she's aphrodite era. You are the queen

(43:49):
your era, you are the queen.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
Of the guy era, death queen era.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah. So so what that means is like there's four
types and there's director, negotiator, builder, and explorer. So this
is all from hellficial inventory negotiator, builder, explorer. So we
learned explorer builder, right, and she's just a director and
a director someone. So only twelve percent of women are directors.

(44:15):
I actually am one of that percentage, which can be
a really hard life because you you know, directors tend
to be quite analytical. They tend to think very quickly,
but not because they're coming from their gut like explorers.
It's more because they think of their brain and constant
contingency plan. If this happens, then I would do this,
and if this happens, then I would do this. A
lot of director women, as I'm telling you, at something,

(44:37):
a lot of women are directors, might have like a
to do list, like even in their shower, like a
waterproof to do list, or they'll be constantly like telling
Siri like remind me to do this, remind me of this.
Oh that's just hey. And then you have, of course
the director men, the masters of their own universe. A
lot of them, not all of them, but a lot
of them can be narcissists because think about what makes

(45:00):
director woman and a man different. As director women, we
were socialized as young kids, here's your baby, doll care
for something, or here's your kitchen set take for something.
So then you have someone like Hillary Clinton running for
president and they're calling her a policy wonk, and I'm like,
she's a director. Of course she's gonna have solutions. But
you also have Donald Trump, who's also a director. And
what does he say, I have the solution for this,

(45:22):
only I can fix this. And so these are he's.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Literally showing us that, oh, y'all are so scared you're
gonna lose it. I'm gonna save it for you and extend.
He uses the language it's being said, yep. Now negotiators.
My husband's a negotiator and director negotiators tends to be
really good matches because directors think in haste. They're just
trying to make everything quick and I want to execute it.
And negotiators, oh Jesus, they are so charismatic. They're a
little spineless from the personal because they like to say

(45:46):
yes to everyone. But there's someone's getting the no.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
Right. I think that's me too, well. I said before,
you're an explorer, I could tell so what I'm saying here,
I don't want to do Sometimes and you put an
elder sister energy in there and you're screwed. Now. What
happens is with negotiators. Bill Clinton is a negotiator. What
happens with negotiators is that you have this sort of
place where they like to they love to take every variable,

(46:12):
and then as a result, they're kind of slowing down
the execution of things. I remember with my husband when
I was asking him to plan a trip because I'm
always the planner, and I had to come to terms like, Okay,
I'm just gonna be the planner because then I'll always
be happy. He was taking every single variable into consideration,
and I'm like, can you just execute? Just book it.
You're like, what are you waiting ten days for? You
know what hotel we're going to say at, you know
what transportation we're going to take. But he's like, well, okay,

(46:34):
but let's do this and let's do this. Stop select now.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
In terms of all of these different types, you and
the late Helen Fisher when you're pairing people before she
even created this, did you see yourself kind of doing
it based on these types? Because I feel like we
hear versions of this, Oh your type A, or you're
this or you're this type of person?

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Right, has this method helped you air people. I yes,
So first of all, a lot of online dating sites
structures are based on this, on Helen Fisher's modeling. She's
a major culture anthropologist. A lot of match groups algorithm
depends on her findings, and it's very similar to my

(47:23):
grandmother's findings, right, Like if someone was a Poseidon that's
her type, or an aphrodite, which are explorer types. She's like, Okay,
I gotta find Poseidon's aphrodite because they need to be
entrepreneurial and explore and be vitality and be creative. There
like they this person, this village is not going to
hold them in. So what's interesting though, is because there's

(47:44):
also the human element, right, So it doesn't matter if
Helen Fisher came up with all this like really brilliant
way of being able to type people into four things.
By the way, right because Meyers Briggs has sixteen personality types,
I'm not going to remember all of them. It's too much.
It is too much, right too. I Mean people struggle
knowing all the horoscopes, so, like you know, so when
it's four, it makes a lot more cleaner for you

(48:05):
to like figure out quickly how to adjust your behavior
to optimize the experience. So when that came out, it
was very interesting for me as a matchmaker to be like,
because this came out before I became a matchmaker, it
was interesting for me to experience that and see it
in my world and understand, like who I'm dating, Yeah,
because I can also communicate Look with my personality type.
For instance, I'm a director woman. I think I can

(48:27):
do it all. I don't need anyone. But I had
to teach myself that when I go on dates, I
got to put the dick away because a lot of
director women we have a people like we come all
come at all right, And I would bring a bracelet
with a class because I want, like, you know, the
thing about men is they have fragile egos and then

(48:47):
fall out that kind of the one. But like I,
it would be I would tell if I liked a
guy on the first date. I would because I want
to show that I still need a man. I would say, hey,
can you can you help me with this? Like I'm
trying to show that I can also be vulnerable. Let's
dig this, it's still stop.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
We have a chapter in a book that Mandy writes
about why do you need me to need you.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
It's such a good.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
Chapter because it really shows how much men pull or
want to be wanted from women now today's era of feminism,
I agree, sometimes I could feel like an insecurity. However,
my mom's seventy four years old. Last night we go
to a friend's birthday party. She's coming down with my

(49:32):
friend's mother. They're both in the seventies, cute little old ladies.
My man's getting the car. I'm like, we'll walk with you.
He's like, I just told you, I'm bringing the car
to the front, wait with your mom. And my mom
looked at me and she was stop trying to let
him not do things for you.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Why do you do this? He's your man, he wants
to do this for you.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
And she starts screaming at me in this lobby about
how I'm not letting him, you know, be eating.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Where are we fucking up as independent? I meant today,
I don't think we're fucking up as an independent women.
You can be an independent woman, but you also have Look,
I know that most women can do it all. I'm
aware of that, right, and that's okay, But also men
have this need to like just want to feel needed
and then then they will worship you. They believe that,

(50:19):
especially the kind of guys who know they're going out
with an independent woman and they're not trying to cage her.
We gotta there's there's a distinction between these two kinds
of men. But there are men who are like, that's
what they want, that's what they're attracted to. But then
now they need a sign like but you still need
me right, And it's small things like I used to
call it broken shower theory, so like, essentially I used

(50:40):
to tell women. I still tell women like, if you
really like a guy and you're really independent, you want
to show him on your third or fourth date, literally
take down your shower thing and be like, hey, my
shower fell. It's a two person job. Can you come
up for a second so we can fix it, and
then we'll go on our date. Like, you know, break something,
make them fix it. It's like these stupid things, but

(51:02):
it actually makes a huge difference. So funny I did
that a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
My partner came to Atlanta and I have like a
lock system on my door and it was dying and
I was literally hoping it did not die before he
came because as soon as he walked in, I said, babe,
I talked to my landlord and the batteries need changed
on the lock, and I remember I made sure I

(51:28):
had the little The landlord said, oh, you need a
screwdriver to change the things, and I remember I was like, babe,
I don't know how to do it. I said, can you,
I literally, can you please change this for me? And
I remember going upstairs and coming down and I was like,
did you change it? He's like, babe, it was so quick.
I did it already, and I was like.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
I said, I was waiting just for you to do
it because I was like, I didn't know what to do.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
It's technology. I couldn't and I had to use a screwdriver.
I hate tools. And I literally like my best friend
was there and it was just like I have how
he felt like, yeah, I have lived in We bought
a house last year. We've been living in my house
for a year. In our house. Excuse me, we've been
living in our house on director my house thirteen years too. Kids,

(52:14):
my fucking house. You know, I don't know how to
use the temperature control and I'm not trying to learn it,
and that's how that's a George job.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
However, Kyle Richards on Housewives is currently going through a
separation with Maricio. She didn't even know how to use
the remote control for the television to use.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
That is so fun I saw him at some restaurant
in La Me and my mom was like, he he.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Worth a hundred million dollars literally. Watching watching her go
through this separation and share with like the audience that
she doesn't know how to do the basics in the house,
I thought was funny. I refuse. I've learned over the
years that like, oh, this is a George thing. I'm
Maria doesn't need to learn this too, and and and

(53:02):
it's interesting. What's funny is also is I had to
teach some of his my children's teachers. Like there's this
one teacher who would constantly email me about my kids homework,
like my kids go to Greek school, like every week.
And I was like, I'm not my husband's secretary. Oh
you can add him to the emails too, And then
I said that to the other moms too, and then

(53:24):
they all demanded it as well. So now this teacher
she emails both parents, I'm not my husband's secretary. If
the school has something to say to me, they could
say to my husband too, because he needs to be involved.
I'm not going to give him the update each week.
Oh you know, today's some spirit week at school. He
can figure that out when he reads his email. But
that's where it starts, like you communicating your expectations of

(53:45):
how someone shows up in a relationship. It's also environmental,
like you have to get your environment to also treat
you equally.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Sorry, we like lela okay before we get out, because
you gave us a history.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
I'm on your website and I don't know, it's been fun.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
I really like dating antidotes, I like books, I like
I like numerical things. I like watching clips. I feel
like I could be old and married and still enjoy
this because trends. So you have all of these lists
of the things that you offer. Matchmaking is number one.
Number two is a GOFE lead?

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Is it? Do you pronounce it a GOFE? Yeah? Bespoke
matching service for clients with refined tastes? Is this just rich?

Speaker 3 (54:32):
Like?

Speaker 1 (54:32):
What does this mean? When you're saying refined taste? What
are you really saying? Don't order your chicken heart. Do
you want the marketing answer as a business owner or no,
don't order your sake well because you have been somewhere,
because there's a different route for both, right okay, So

(54:53):
on the look, there are some clients who they will
seek out that sort of language in order to like,
I don't think you understand what I want. So I
want this language, and I actually have to emulate my
competitors to be like for refined taste. But chances are
you're probably getting the same service. I just said something
like that on one of these podcasts.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
I was like, I don't want a man who's sushi
level palette is in Tempura or CALIFORNI year roll. I
don't want them to order their sake a certain way.
I want them to be excited about certain cultural things
and to go out like the way that we get.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
There are some clients that need a lot of extra
handholding because they want the extra handholding, right Okay. They
are the kind of clients who they have a private
chef at home, they have a manager in their house.
And there are the kind of clients who are going
to be a gopy eleak because they're going to take
up more of our time riches what they got. But
just like billionaire No, I mean, are they just got

(55:50):
homes everywhere? Like tales about yachts that they don't know
where they are? Jesus, what now when the clients? So
that client would be a gopy eleak because a kind
of woman that that person can go out with, she
has to be flexible with his schedule. Yep. Like you know,
think about Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos's fiance. Like I've had

(56:12):
a few of Jeff Bezos's friends as clients, and you know,
I'll give credit where it's due. Jeff Bezos is dating
someone who's age appropriate.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
Oh I say this all the time. I love seeing
an older woman next time. I don't even know what
feelers she put in. It is nice to see she
bless blessed that That to me is a great example
of like, all right, you divorced your wife, this whole
thing happened.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
We didn't get to see you run around with some kid.
Not that he's not a piece of shit, but that's
while we're not talking about him. We're talking about But.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
What you said as well is where in the beginning
of this podcast, I I talked about dealing with athletes
and thought that that would be literally what I ended
up dating as soon as my focus became on my
career and making money and excel in my own life.
That is the last type of man that I could

(57:04):
date because they expect you, when they want to see you,
for you to drop everything and go.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
And that's why my billionaire clients are like, and I'm
not and I want to do you no longer.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
And they can do that for the elite, like do
they have to be of a certain status like I
mean status.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Or we would regardless no matter which page they use
to sign up, we still have to have a conversation
with them, and then we will price it accordingly. So
most of our services start at thirty thousand, and so
I'll go up, you got a book for the year
just to get you to two dates? Okay for six
months and usually it's a minimum of six introductions in

(57:37):
six months. Most of our clients will get in between
ten and fifteen matches. But a lot of our clients,
especially the regular clients, which I know you might be
thinking thirty thousand is not regular, but you'd be surprised
how people are willing to save.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
Do they also cover the fees of Like, let's just
say you have a great match in New York, you've
got a rich kind in Dubai.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
I can't set up people in Dubai against the law.
Ye yeah, well but but you know, but I know
you're in London. They will fly out or they'll fly
the woman they have to stay at a different hotel.
But we are coordinating it. So we're just sending the invoice.
Oh wow, right, and you can't have sex, like we
have very clear. Well, they're a different I'm not a man.

(58:16):
If they're going to watch this and be like yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Seriously, like if they do have sex, I'm sure this
mistake has happened.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
I don't want to know. Yeah, you don't want to
be involved. I don't think it's ever happened in sixteen years.
I don't think somebody's maybe, but I don't let me
let me believe. For legal reasons, it's never happened. That
they are just waiting. But serious question though, being that
this is all free for all women are free by

(58:44):
the way, that's legal reasons.

Speaker 2 (58:46):
We know you're not hiring processes. No, I'm talking about
my job would be much so much easier.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
What if it's just they vibe that hard. I think
when they know that after this date there's a feedback
form or a text our phone call from me, Like
they all know, they all know the process. So even
if you're free, you still have to meet with me
or my team and then we talk about like we
don't even have to talk about sex. We're like, after
your date, you're gonna get a feedback form from us.

(59:12):
We're going to connect. If it goes well, we will
help set up the second date. Like we're good here.
And then by the way, we're corning the dates so
we're not sending them to some sex dungeon. We're sending
them for tap as in the West Villa Brook and
book now to mess how they got over there. You'll
know this is good. You know it's interesting though, because
we also like I've learned a lot, Like you know,
the other things that come with the service is like

(59:33):
we give you a photoshoo, but we also have a
person who audits your house, audits your wardrobe. Always. Yeah,
if you're a client of mine, you're getting an audit
of your home, audit of your wardrobe, and a photo shoot.
And I've given makeovers to men all the time. And
it's interesting when Nicholas, who he does the house stuff,
like he's like, oh, this person he needs this or

(59:55):
this person you know, like you you can learn a
lot about someone when you visit their home. This is
so interesting because but look, I just want to say
one last week, the people that tend to hire us
tend to be guys who are making two hundred or
five hundred thousand dollars a year. That's like eighty percent
of my clients are in that range, and they're all
just overworked. They don't have time to swipe. They've experienced
a dating fatigue, and they're like, just you do it.

(01:00:17):
I'll go on the dates. And the thing is the
best part about those kinds of clients at eighty percent,
where they're like you do it, I trust you. Those
are the guys we get into relationships within two three
four months. So, like, I had a client hire us
exactly two weeks ago, and today he emailed us to
say pause the contract because there's a freeze in the contract,
you know, I want to see what happens with this
first match. And I'm like, oh, that's so healthy. Because

(01:00:38):
I've had clients where I set them up with like
the best match on the first try, and they're like, oh,
what else you got? And I'm like, no, no, no,
this is it. So you got to give them ugly first.
Some clients you have to learn to like not give
them the best match first.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Well, speaking of the best, I'm sure you give the
best advice in this book. It comes out this week.
We're like really happy to have you on to celebrate this.
Ask a Matchmaker no nonsense guide to finding love, y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
You can only buy it up. You bought no old barn.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Now that's true, but this is really cool and honestly,
just supporting your pod. I would love for people to
get a dose of what they're going to hear every week.
What's your podcast? Where can they find you?

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
My podcast is also called Aska Matchmaker, and that's where
people can call in and ask questions dating questions. I've
heard everything. I've answered over eight thousand dating questions on
the pod. But also like online and I have you know,
a different co host each month, and it gets fun
because you get different personalities. The co host is also
telling you about their dating history.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
Now, if you guys want the actual dating advice, what
we dig into for our course for that we're giving
away for free with the pre order. Maria does give
specific dating advice. It is a crash course, but it
was really helpful, and even I was sitting there reacting
a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
I don't because she read me, uh, just like am
I love bombing? And I'm like, yeah, Now.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
She was basically saying somebody that's like, oh my god,
we should do this. Sext month is a love bomber. Yeah,
you had to talk in the present Explorer. We all
go check us out on patreon dot com, backslash Horrible
Decisions if you mix miss all the sex talk since
Maria won't let us have it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Or a lawyer, and go to an HV tour dot
com to go and see us on tour.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Thank you, guys for tuning in to another episode of
Decisions Decisions

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Hosts And Creators

WeezyWTF

Mandii B

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 423: The Right Questions To Find Your Future Companion (Ft. MatchMaker Maria)