EP 450: The Pettiness (feat. Chy & Winter)

This week on Decisions, Decisions, Mandii B and Weezy are joined by Chy & Winter of the Behind The Likes podcast to talk break-ups and make-ups, how reading the signs and picking up the energy on tour affects relationships,the moments when advice given on the mic goes left, and why 86% of married men are married. The ladies tap into their playful side with a round of Heauxtry, where they guess songs and let their inner heaux sing through, before diving into their favorite parts of “corn” and just how petty things can get after a breakup. They also get real about dealing with violence, feeling attacked by a friend, setting boundaries within a friendship and business, and how Chy & Winter work through their most recent argument while keeping their bond and partnership solid.

OUT NOW “No Holes Barred: A Dual Manifesto Of Sexual Exploration And Power” w/ Tempest X!
Link

Follow the hosts on social media Weezy @Weezywtf & Mandii B @Fullcourtpumps and follow the Decisions Decisions pages
Instagram @_decisionsdecisions


Don't forget to tag #decisionsdecisions or @ us to let us know what you think of this week's episode!
Want more? Bonus episodes, merch and more Whoreible Decisions!! Become a Patron at Patreon.com/whoreibledecisions

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
decisions Decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kurson.
You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Oh wait, you want to say together the Decisions Decisions.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Decision Decision.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm your girl.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Mandy b aka Peg the Sign aka Pegan Marcle aka
Peggy Bundy aka de Bitch.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Hey, everybody, I'm easy. Welcome back.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
We have some guests in the building, and every time
I want to say BTL, I want to say GTL
like Jersey Shore.

Speaker 4 (00:33):
Oh Jcam laundry.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
But let me try to do a very good intro.
I love a good intro.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Winter and Shy the social media influencers who are two
women bringing unique perspectives in life on it hilarious little
personality that just make you laugh out loud on their show,
social media has been a part of their lives for
as long as they can remember.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Their IG hosts, oh, that's not in there, and may
understand that it's a platform over like so.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Winter believes in pushing the boundaries and living life to
the fullest, while Shy is all about inspiring and empowering
women to reach their goes and you're not.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
I am the way. This was not y'all, she cheated.
This was intro website. I actually can't so anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Together, they take you on a journey that explores the
complex world of social media.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
But I'll tell you what I think they show it.
I think it is such a cute show before.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
If you've never heard of their show, I know a
lot of our listeners I got to go on their
show haven't.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Crossed paths yet.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
I would describe your show as like friendship and current
events and very very authentic.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
I love the show. I've had episodes about almost breaking
up and.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Then getting back together and crying, and like, to me,
that just feels like very real and raw podcasting.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
So introducing y'all to Shy Winter, that was a great intro.
I love it. I should have interrupted y'all saying I
can't write off that way.

Speaker 5 (02:03):
Hold up, because look, I'm no better because I'd.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Be using Chatgypt for my intro. I call mine. Look glorious.
She knows she gets Gloria Patricia Tabernacle, That's what I
call her. I say, I gotta ask Gloria some questions
I don't have that.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
I'm old school me too.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
No, I've seen that.

Speaker 5 (02:24):
When you said something about chat GYBT on your story,
I said, bit not too much, not to not too much.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
I said, you're not gonna be talking about for exactly.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Because people been writing like really like even passive aggressive emails.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
You might try to cuss me out with tack. Oh
I am that, I say. Furthermore, I'd be like, let
me handle it, chat handle it. Yeah right.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
I've had emails from PR teams agents all this ship
that's chat GBT, and I'm like, oh, y'all, bish is
really paying for someone else to write it?

Speaker 1 (02:53):
H know?

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Anyway, So today I really wanted to do an episode
all about breakups and makeups because if you guys don't
listening behind the lives, Shi has been really open about
a breakup me, and he's been open about her breakup.
I've been open and like and well, I know, I
know you ain't going through one one right now.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
So we got but we've all probably what's pverities niggas
I do, I'll be crying, shouldn't, Oh they don't know,
but I do?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
So ok kidding? You cry publicly, you cry in your.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
Big I mean I cried my friends, I guess okay, yeah,
tell us your sign so the people can know.

Speaker 5 (03:28):
So I am an Aquarius and I am not. I
am not emotional at all. But this relationship has gotten good.
I've been going through the motions.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
I've been what's the fourth saying of a grief again? Yeah,
now now I'm today.

Speaker 5 (03:42):
I don't give a fuck to talk about right now.
But I really am not a crier at all. Like
we we talk all the time about our difference of
emotions because we are so polar opposite when it comes
to it. But y'all, I had this podcast I recently
went on, and I was like, I was in the
middle of crying again. I was like, I probably shouldn't
agree to do it. Literally, I was like, I am
really cried like four different times.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Believe it'll be out by this time. So like, yeah, Shan,
my god, but Shannon will get you there.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
Shanon will get you there, and she'll just stare at
you with this not even like with this, with this love,
and her green eyes are just piercing into you, and.

Speaker 6 (04:12):
I'm just like, you gotta and and I was literally crying.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
I was like, do I still nice? No?

Speaker 7 (04:25):
Yeah, I am a tourist. I definitely am really, really
an emotional person. But it's just so funny because when
people first like meet us, they would assume she's like
the softer one, the more emotional one.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
But definitely I am more emotional than she is, like
by far.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
So it's crazy because I don't think I knew what
to expect.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
And I know, you you funny, you fun I met her.
She was like squatting in the bathroom, dancing and she
bro When I first in mind you like, I didn't
know she was from b She was popping her pussy
above the toilet and you have to tell her to
get there. She was clu I'm in the soul And
I was like, well, you weren't crowing that night? I

(05:07):
did every single morning and every single night.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Oh well, yeah I was not exact that. I wasn't.

Speaker 7 (05:15):
I mean, you know, warned people, not like in a
bad way, but I'd be like, she's a partier, like
she wants to have a good time.

Speaker 4 (05:21):
She dances on the bartops and the tables and all that.
So I didn't know that. People didn't know.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
You a little loose one, I know, but.

Speaker 5 (05:30):
People, it's so different sometimes they it's like it does
it's not even that bad. But when when we're together,
it'd be like, I'm so extreme to herself, but you
can't get there.

Speaker 7 (05:40):
No, I get I can get there, but people don't
expect that I'm as introverted as I am when I'm outside,
Like you know, they don't really realize.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
I also realize.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
I'll tell you what five, five, eleven say. I was
about to say six eight, you had the flets on.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
I looked down.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
I said, bits on, this is a sell.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Outside, Like y'all, I'll actually give the most you give
tall look like you ain't gonna be the one who
cause you know what I mean. If we've seen Winter online,
we don't think she gonna meet the one turn it up.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
So I like it.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
It gives a little opposite and said, yeah, we say
that a lot like when people meet us in person.
They're they're surprised at like the polar opposite of what
they thought.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Was I just recently maybe I said it to Jacob.
I can't remember, but I said recently that I met
someone who said, oh, when's the next time you're on tour?

Speaker 1 (06:28):
And I was like, oh, Like it gave me this
big wave of and you guys just got off tour.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Vinnie was there shout out to that. He said, y'all
show was great, and so we you know, we like
we're having this conversation. And this guy out said I
was at a un No party and he said, why
is it that tour is giving you anxiety? What are
your fans like? And I was like, wow, that's interesting
you said that, because that's probably the thing that's exhausting.

(06:52):
My fans is turned the fuck up. My fans is
turned up. If I'm not turned up, they're asking me
why I'm not turned up. I felt pressure to be more.
It's hurted because what they're receiving on the podcast is
high energy meeting exactly.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
They got that high and that.

Speaker 7 (07:05):
Is what it is for me too, Like I'll just
feel so overstimulated with the amount of people we have
to meet and talk to, and just like I'm just
not how she is. She's a social butterfly. It's easy
for her to come to National Hearth. For me, it
takes a lot of effort for me to like push
myself out there and talk to a bunch of people
and be nice to a bunch of people and giggle
with a bunch of people, So like, that's sad.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
When I say draining, it's funny that you just use
the word. I've been talking to a guy. It's so
weird because we fucked years ago, and he like, just
be on my phone ow because we live in the
same city, and I'm just not interested. And I feel
like I'm not interested because I can't remember the dick.
So it's like I don't even want to go back
to it because I don't remember it. It means it
wasn't me memor it wasn't memorable, So let's just be friends.

(07:47):
And literally every time he hit me to hang out,
I'm like, I'm recharging because I'm overstimulated.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
I didn't realize how often I use the word over stimulated.
But it's that.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Between work, between traveling, between constantly having to be performative, essentially, like,
you know, they don't care about what we're going through
in life. You're going through a breakup, whether someone died
in your family, whether you're dealing with like heartache. When
you see people you hug hey, be nice, you have to,
you know, And so I literally am like WHOA. Every

(08:16):
week I have to do like two to three days
of like yeah, and so.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
You know, and then I go so hard not remembering
how I got home because then when I go out
a bit bro that's that's us. I will say.

Speaker 5 (08:29):
I don't think she gives herself enough credit when it
comes to that, because we are We do take our time.
But like in that moment, you are so loving and
so you give them your alle We give them all
our all. But you'll see moments on like the Patreon
because we'll try to film behind the scenes. There'll be
a moment like after the show where we just.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Like like living just exactly, but they won't pick that up.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
Though they won't take it up.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, it's not even like you're really faking it.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
And so you can and our fan what do be anesome? Right?

Speaker 2 (09:03):
But our literally and it doesn't even matter if you
meet somebody, think about being that famous walk out of
the venue. People are looking like iccurity guard, the driver
you have, you go to a restaurant, everybody is freaking.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Out about you, and so whatever we feel for them
thirty minutes, that ain't nothing.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah, I gotta do no more.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Though.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
Now I have a game for y'all. This is called poetry.
It's our poetry. But it's a song that y'all know,
and it's gonna be read as a poem. Okay, okay,
so you're gonna have to try to see who we
gets this person. I'll definitely a song.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Guess the song. Okay, but I wish we had a buzzard. Okay.
Just want to get your attention. Really want to be
oh neo, no no, Really want to gets your attention.
Yeah exactly, No, wait, I.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Really want go sure, but you sung the songs, you know,
I ma, that's only if you ain't scared. You still
didn't need to name a song, and I will get
your attention. Really want to get to things.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
I don't ring the bells. I know this, I know,
I know you, oh so well, I know this.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
Daddy daddy so he got it like three.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
Words in bitch got you know, but I knew, but
I know now. I do want to going from there.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
We did y'all podcast Behind the Likes, by the way,
love that it's in the mirk. Yeah, y'all had us
draw things from a hat. Yes, and so apparently ours was.
I can't wait to see how real crazy these were.

Speaker 7 (10:52):
Their original quote should be just for them. So now,
but we didn't read these, y'all. We got left with them.
So we're gonna do y'all got left with.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
This, so you draw I don't know exactly the one printed.
Look there we go. H this is a horrible one.
Oh no, I said, what's the worst advice you've ever given?
On the mic?

Speaker 5 (11:13):
They give us ship for our advice section. So what
you say, Okay, this is horrible. Please y'all do not
judge this one time?

Speaker 1 (11:21):
We should? I tell just we actually, y'all know this
is so good. I want all of us answer yes, yeah,
I like this.

Speaker 5 (11:30):
So there was one time where you're gonna say where
we said something wasn't really sexual assault and it.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Was oh no, wait, okay, what was it? But here's
the here's the was it? I'm learning I haven't.

Speaker 5 (11:42):
Remember, no, And now we we really are, you know,
live and learn, Live and learn.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
We live and learn.

Speaker 5 (11:47):
Honestly, we made we made a bad case of judgment.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
But I'll tell you the advice. I don't.

Speaker 4 (11:53):
I kind of stand by it a little.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
No, I don't really stand by because there's different there's
different versions of sexual assault, you know what I'm saying,
And you can't define what some might's versions. Yeah, that's
where we will say we are we fall that. Okay,
So what was the scenario.

Speaker 5 (12:05):
The scenario was basically this this girl. She had a
guy best friend and you know, they would a lot.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
It was lurt a lot, and she let them sleep
in the bed like they slept in the bed.

Speaker 5 (12:12):
Together, that made out. But she said, all right, we're
going to sleep. Do not do not touch me anymore.
Do not do anything with me, like you know, we
have a pillow.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
She said that she didn't take pill up between us.
Didn't say but all of that though, but she she
didn't do all that. She just was like she's.

Speaker 3 (12:29):
Were So she said she woke up and he's twitter
pissy and we were both like I like a little
finger in.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
The pussy, you know, yeah.

Speaker 7 (12:38):
Okay, no, okay, here's here's my thing. Here's my thing.
If I woke up and I'm like had made out
with a nigga. We was cuddling in the bed. I
woke up and he's trying to touch my pussy. I'm
gonna just be like stop. And then after he don't stop,
and be like do you not hear me say it?

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Stop?

Speaker 4 (12:51):
But it's like if it just happened. I'm not about
to be like you said this.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
So the first time he did it was the assault
because you said.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, we don't want to fuck you. Yeah, a part
of sex, just like oral sex. Why did you ever
tell am not? I think he just was like touching
her koochie.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
I don't know, but it don't matter you touch my cookie,
bro regardless sexual assault and I never brought this, I
have it.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
I actually think we cut it out because we started
arguing about it, so we had a question come in.
They were like, oh, my boyfriend always wants to have
sex and I don't.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
How do I get out of this rut?

Speaker 2 (13:25):
And I was like, just literally get in the move
or get break up, like have sex and take yourself there.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
So that Amandy was like, no, like you're forcing someone
to fucking them.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
And so in what I'm saying is like, you know
when you don't want to go out the house, then
you do, and you're like that's all I'm saying, Yeah,
he's already your man, you already live with him. Like
to me, sometimes when I'm saying just do it, go
through the motion, is because it's actually easier to get
stuck not fucking than it is to just take the leap.

(13:55):
So many times we're just be like, we're gonna do tonight,
We're gonna do tonight, and then we don't know, actually
make them measureie, put the music on, feel being that
energy again, because a lot of times couples kind of
like weck with that same T shirt all like.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
What, I'm not fucking you don't like that you're in
a run.

Speaker 5 (14:13):
I'm not you know what I'm saying, even when you
don't want to For the most part, I haven't not
wanted to fuck, Okay, you know, Okay.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
If I don't want to have I'm not having it.

Speaker 5 (14:24):
I'm not I'm not fucking if. I really am just
being like petty about it. But I always if I'm
in a relationship and I love you and I love
our sex, I'm always gonna want to fuck.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
You know what I'm saying. I'm not mad at that.

Speaker 7 (14:33):
Yeah, Sometimes I'm just like not into it sometimes like
if we had sex the night before my Coochie store.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
Or if I'm just tired and examples night before, but yeah,
yeah I didn't want What is the worst advice you've
ever given one to?

Speaker 4 (14:46):
No, that was the I just got it.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
I actually just gave the worst advice and I felt
kind of bad. I even was like, sorry, this is
the worst advice I think I've given an all nine years.
It happened on Patreon and we had a guy, uh
the guy. A guy had a question where he assumed
like his stepbrother or someone that wasn't related to him
was kind of attracted to him by how he was acting.

(15:10):
And I pretty much told him to like gay bait
him and see if she would like.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
I said, take him to the.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
Gym, maybe spot him and set your dick on his
forehead and see if.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Like I gave the worst.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Then I was like, ooh, so all the porn I watched,
like you know, they be playing video games and like
they make a pet for a little hand job.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
And I said, just see how he reacts.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
And it was me like trying to put him in
all these gay want to be gay with him.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
He wanted to, but he was trying to see he's gay.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
He felt like he was getting this energy from someone.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Who identifies as straight.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
And I was like, broaig straight all the time, but
if he's giving you those signals, he just may not
be comfortable.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
Bad that I don't think one. And you know what
me saying what you did on sports, that's crazy, that's
that's just but you know what's crazy before.

Speaker 5 (16:11):
I love a good gay porn. I don't watch you off,
but I love a good gay porno intro and.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
I'd be like, just put it on. Say you react,
what's the intro that you like? Like, I've never suck
dick before? Yes you have. I don't get you, Yes
you have, Johnny. I don't like intro support at all.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
I just skipped to what I need to get to
and I keep it.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
Putting a story part of porn. Do you like favorite
part of the cup? Do you like the I.

Speaker 7 (16:35):
Would say the ending, I would say like the cum.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Shot, the middle, all the same.

Speaker 5 (16:40):
No, I love a good storyline and applot. I love
on the on the van and they start talking about
ship and then he's not he never act none of
them having his homeboy penis and be like, yeah, we've
just been roommates.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah y'all have been.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
When they pick up a guy and I guess he's
struggling financially and he's like, I'll.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
Get I could get you. I should go.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
I to like, that's the born you know I like
that too, though.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
I like that.

Speaker 8 (17:08):
Okay, question you have a question, compliment your co This
is a little much, Oh y'all are to do this?

Speaker 1 (17:21):
Okay, because yeah, I actually like this is like sexy
way like, okay, okay.

Speaker 7 (17:30):
What's the pettiest thing you've ever done after a breakup?

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Hear it? I got ya? Okay? Well yeah, I mean
I was talking. I was talking.

Speaker 7 (17:46):
I was like dating this guy and like it was getting,
you know, pretty seriously to the point we're like about
to really be in a relationship. And basically he was
in Florida for work stuff and I was in l
A and then should up and then and then he
had flown me, you know, obviously to him. And you know,
I'm chilling in the house and I am starting to

(18:08):
notice some odd things around the house, Like I notice
a little bit of something that could be makeup on
the bed.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
So mind you, I.

Speaker 7 (18:15):
Knew that the housekeeper had come like two days before,
so I'm like, no, this should not be here, Like
I'm there, ain't no fucking way, bitch. So I'm like
investigation time. So I go to the bathroom. I start
going through that bathroom trash. I find lashes, oh strength,
shrip strip flashes, and then I go into the bathroom.
I start doing I find a fucking makeup white still
on the counter that has makeup on it. Then I'm

(18:37):
like she was there with horight, yes, yes, So I'm like,
hold on, hold on now, i gotta go back to
the bed and look at this makeup, saying I see
a little mass scare, a little glitter, a little a
little foundation. So I'm like, all right, bet bitch, it's
on it popping now. So mind you, he's at work.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Mind you. I had just what the fuck did I had?

Speaker 4 (18:51):
Say him?

Speaker 1 (18:53):
I forgot what she's calling me mid crash out, crash up?
What should I know better? Sometimes it's like the blindly
and Blade. I was like, I knock him in his shit.

Speaker 7 (19:02):
So so so okay, so boom, I go downstairs. I'm like,
let me make sure when the housekeeper came he had
his photographer downstairs.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
I'll go downstairs.

Speaker 7 (19:09):
I'm like, hey, when was the housekeeper here last. He's like, oh, uh, Monday,
two days ago, I said.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
I said, okay, boom.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
So he gets home, I'm like, oh, can you send
me some money for some some something. He sends me
like three bands. I'm like, cool, got me a little
bit of money, mind you.

Speaker 7 (19:24):
By that point, I had already hit all of his
left shoes, thrown hella his shit in the pool where
they say you.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Hid all his left shoes.

Speaker 7 (19:31):
Then I stole his PS five, put it in my
suitcase and had it ready to go out the motherfucking door.
So when he send me that money, I said, Okay,
come on, come on, come upstairs for me real quick.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
I want to show you. He comes upstairs.

Speaker 7 (19:41):
I put the lashes and I stick them to his
like chest, and I'm like boom, and I'm like, so
what is this about?

Speaker 1 (19:45):
So you was having bitches in here?

Speaker 4 (19:46):
He was like it was it was these girls.

Speaker 7 (19:49):
And they had to sleep in the bed because I
had a party and they just had to sleep here.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
And I didn't even go to sleep.

Speaker 7 (19:53):
I pulled it all nighter and I said, I said,
where'd you meet the girls?

Speaker 4 (19:56):
He said, I just met them off a fence. I said,
pull up their thing.

Speaker 7 (19:59):
He goes, I forgot their thing, Like I forgot it,
blah blah blah, whatever the fuck. So I end up leaving.
I end up I'm like I'm leaving. I'm I'm out,
like blah blah blah. I go, I end up getting
drunk as hell. I'm like, no, I'm going back for
a round two.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
I go back.

Speaker 7 (20:14):
I had ordered some chicken to the house, so I
had a little snack when I arrived, and after I'd
already like got on him whatever, and then it was
just even more on and pop and I put my
hands on him and I beat him with the bag
of chicken that I don't have pictures. I do have pictures.
What I have pictures of me throwing all his stuff in.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
The pool, you know, on the phone, he was get
on ga, I have pictures of the crash. Really, I
was like no, because here's the thing about it.

Speaker 5 (20:43):
I'm very level headed in certain situations. And I was like, yeah,
you can having a mascara right there to make it wise,
I say, he can.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Got at the makeup. Here's the picture, here's the makeup.
Oh you took picture? It was like ship and blood. No,
that's just probably yeah. Oh you was looking look oh,
because they were sucking make.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
Up on the extra you know. Yeh wait, does that
girl talking to Mike? You you recording.

Speaker 8 (21:17):
All this, all this all this evidence that you.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Second spot that I stole.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
This smiles kind of fun diabolical, was funny as hell.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
Nod oh, here's the lashes in the trash.

Speaker 3 (21:32):
No, but I do have to ask a question, because
crash outs when women do all these things. You did
all of this. Did you see him again? Did y'all
continue talking?

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Did you ever? No?

Speaker 7 (21:42):
No, I did not, but he just recently un blocking
me off on Instagram, So I'm really exad about that.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
You know what, I kind of do miss him. We
had a really like great, you better missed the son
of Miami. Crashed out so bad?

Speaker 5 (21:56):
Oh yeah, I crashed out horribly bad to where I
never want to crash out again in my life. I
crashed out so bad it made me go the complete
opposite ROUTD. I'm doing yoga, meditation, I'm in therapy. You
need my crash out.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
I can't even talk about here. I would go to jail.

Speaker 4 (22:09):
Yeah, yeah, No, it was really funny in mine, so
I'll just say that.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Well yeah, and I feel like.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
The next part of this episode it actually isn't gonna
be far Wow. Literally, I pulled a clip about success
in relationships because I feel like we talked too much
about relationships.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
I wanted to get the good side by these niggas out. Yeah,
nor look, I'm about to play this.

Speaker 5 (22:30):
I started doing therapy, so my crash outs. I am
no longer that type of woman.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
You know what's crazy. I talked about it.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
I talked about it one of my longest relationships. So
I think guys don't think I like them as much
as I do because I don't crash out. I don't argue,
I don't do the if we gonna argue, you could
just leave.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
I'm not gonna argue. I'm non confrontational with my niggas.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
But when we broke up, my mind went to key
his car, and then I was like, let me, hey,
a crackhead to key his car because I don't want
to go to jail. Then it lets to what would
that do to me? Like all think about a crush out.
I've thought about a cross out and never kill get
into a crush.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
And you've never anything in pot of me.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
All right, So we're gonna play this clip, and I
want you all to tell me if you agree with
the fact that relationships can elevate you.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
You read the sentiment. This is from Amy Poehler's podcast.

Speaker 9 (23:24):
They say, like eight eighty six percent of the most
successful men are married.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
I love her face.

Speaker 9 (23:34):
I'm just saying, Scott, I mean, that's got me. You know,
they need that grounding, they need that home base, and
women don't, no, no, because they find it in friendships.
There was a study if you ask men who their
best friend is, most of them say their wives, right,
And if you ask a woman, she's really got her friends.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
And I do think because one of the things that
I had brought up recently was like, Okay, a relationship
doesn't make me better per se, but relationship give me
routine because when I'm single, I just be ended up
in relationships like niggas be wife and me.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
It happens.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
So I'll be like, let me use this time wisely,
if you knew your next relationship is coming, how would
you spend the next your soul may your husband?

Speaker 1 (24:19):
How would you spend the next ninety days? That's how
I'll be treating.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
I'm like, it's Tuesday night, Oh my god, so and
so I got a table.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
At the boss, and I'm going I treat every single
day in New York like it's fashion week.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
When I'm saying, but what I would say is relationships
have made me sometimes get more on a straight narrow path.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
Even my gym.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
I've had the idea to build a concept for a
gym maybe five years. Somehow I did it ten months
into my relationship. Like literally, just start an LLC ten
in months. I agree, I agree.

Speaker 7 (24:46):
I definitely think it will help you get on this
straight and narrow path. Like when I'm in a relationship,
I can't be outside doing as many things in like part.
I mean, I can be, but like I'm not really
worried about going out because I mean now when I
go out when I'm single, it's fun because it's like
where the hoe is that? Like you know, like when
I'm in a relationship, I'm more like, Okay, now I'm
at home with my man, I'm going to go to
a pilates class in the morning and cook dinner and

(25:08):
make some content for it later.

Speaker 4 (25:09):
Like that's like the vibe was on.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
It also depends for me.

Speaker 5 (25:12):
It depends on the relationship, and it depends on the
type of man that you're with as well. Like they,
I think it is kind of true when they say
men lead the relationships, like you kind of follow suit
with what a man is doing, Like if a man is
chaos in a relationship, that relationship is going to be chaotic.
So I feel like with me sometimes in certain relationship,
I wasn't level headed because the situation that I'm in

(25:32):
isn't really a level headed relationship.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
It's a tumultuous relationship.

Speaker 5 (25:35):
So sometimes the best work that I've gotten done is
when I've been broken up.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
Like you know what I'm saying, Like reed.

Speaker 5 (25:41):
You know, I'm going to get my bachelor's degree, like
I'm about finish school, I'm about to start this business,
I'm about to write a book.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
I don't know what the fuck I'm about to do
it in my life. But I feel like sometimes it
depends on relationships and where you at.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
Oh, but you know what, I think that's different though
shy because the breakup is.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yes, very true.

Speaker 5 (25:56):
But like I said, I think it depends on like
the man that you would Because talked about this before too,
like we said, you date a man who's always consistently
working and doing things, you feel like a piece of
shit when you at home. So that's why I'm saying
I agree with your standpoint as well, because it's like,
all right, I got to figure out business move too.
If you date an entrepreneur, you get that gratifications like
all right, are that influence?

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Like I want to do the same thing, you know
what I'm saying. I mean, I want to respond to
the clip because I don't think that that's what the
clip was saying.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
I just want to read yeah on the clip, though,
I want to respond to that because we're going to
react to it. I do agree with the sentiment that men,
especially more successful men, need to be married, but it's
that allows them to focus on their career because the
woman normally takes care of the household and takes care
of everything else. So for me, I kind of disagree

(26:46):
with the sentiment. I've seen women lose themselves entirely because
they're now just focused on this man relationship.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
They lose out on friends.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
We see now that even Ayisha Curry has constantly been
talking about it too, right, We talked about that on
another episode, But I think so many times because of
the patriarch and because we're now in a space where
cool as entrepreneurs, we could talk a certain way, but
the majority of women still want to lead with being
a wife and a mother and be at home and
be domesticated and I've seen more so than not women

(27:17):
completely lose themselves to adapt or be an attach.

Speaker 7 (27:21):
That just depends on how you are as a person,
Like I feel like if you are comfortable with like
not really like having your own shit going on, there
are a lot of women who are like that. Like,
I know a lot of women who are like that too,
who will lose their friendships and they're comfortable getting lost
in a relationship.

Speaker 4 (27:37):
They always end up regarding it down the line. For me,
I'm not like that.

Speaker 7 (27:40):
Like, when I have a relationship and I have a
man who's like working really hard, I feel like I
have to have something going on, even if this man
is paying all my fucking bills, I need to be
stacking up all my bread.

Speaker 4 (27:50):
Like, I'm just not like that, but you're one hundred percent.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
I also wanted to respond to the friendship thing too.
I think there's a difference. It's so weird the way
we grow up as as girls with our friends. I
think it's just different with men. They either connect through
sports or the hobbies. We connect with far more.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
Emotionally, right, which is why I think.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Women will always have a best girlfriend or a homegirl
and then their partner, right, and my friends. And I've
talked about this on the pod. All of my friends
come before my niggas they will say before you, they're
I agree with my friends come first. I've never separated
from my core values with my friendships because of a relationship.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
But I think many women.

Speaker 7 (28:31):
I feel like, when you're married, I feel like that
is a different ballgame, and that becomes your complete life partner,
and that's when you have to kind of start thinking
about putting your husband over your friends. But I feel
like when you're in a relationship, I'm never first of all,
I'm never going to be put in a position where I.

Speaker 4 (28:44):
Have to choose between a friend and a man. Like
that's not gonna happen.

Speaker 5 (28:47):
A friends shouldn't put you in that position either, I agree,
So it depends, And I feel like with me, I
feel like, how are you going to get to that
point of marriage if you're constantly putting everybody else over
your significant other?

Speaker 1 (28:57):
I mean, so it just to me it's like a
fine balance.

Speaker 5 (29:00):
How are we going to ever get there if we're
constantly putting our friendships are this or this or that?
And the third, I think you have to figure out
your relationships that there will be a time that your man,
your relationship things will actually have to come first. And
not saying, but as a friend, I feel like there
are certain times where you have to allow that friendship
to be able to maneuver the newfound relationships. So I

(29:20):
feel like there's their hair some you have to have
a balance because sometimes it could be overwhelming for a
friendship who's dealing with friendships and a relationship and not
in people around don't understand that balance.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
So I want to bring this up because a lot
of women are getting engaged right now. Yeah, Skylar Marshall
age shout out of Kimmy Crawford with right, right, this
is how the era of young people getting engaged, and
I fucking love it because we don't really get to
see honor and commitment really to me like shown with
young people. Yeah, hear about the older stories. I like

(29:53):
seeing people in the thirty or in their thirties.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
But many friendships break up during engagements and marriages. And
I watched a TikTok like time and time again someone's
losing a friend when they get engaged, and they say
that friendships break up for three reasons, growth, jealousy, and
misaligned values. So either you get engaged one person make
it jealous, or maybe your values shift. Now here's two comments.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
That actually completely agree with both on this is two
comments on friendships breaking up their engagements. One woman says,
I agree that this happens, but the bride to change.
Sometimes they just begin to ignore friends, expect everyone to
spend on them, look down on their single friends as
if they suddenly have the upper hand. Yep, that be
a motherfucker fact.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Here's the contrary.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
Another person said, I think it's rooted in that friend
not being in the center of attention at the moment.
The friend is used to the bride coming through for
them all of the time, and now they feel like
they've been inconvenienced because the bride has some.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
Other new things they like to focus. Both are fucking true.
Two things can be true. We've been saying that a
lot likely they can be true.

Speaker 7 (31:02):
Be acting like no I have I literally have something
to say about this because I had a friend and
like we were like super close before she was she's
not married, but like she got really serious in her relationship,
and I know how to deal with like my friends
getting in relationships like I've had to deal with it before,
So I'm not gonna like be invited my friends to
the club and outre on tu hand tricks like you know,

(31:22):
I respect those like, you know whatever. But when I
was in a relationship, when I was in a relationship
and she was in a relationship, like we stayed close.
And then when I got out of relationship, I felt
like she was like judging me for being back single
and being back on the dating scene. And I immediately
noticed like her shift in basically fuck with me. And
like also, I mean like my last relationship, I was

(31:43):
with a very rich man, like you know, he took
care of me, did everything, and you know she is too,
and I felt like she was looking down on me
because now I didn't have that you know, I wasn't
a wag anymore. Like you know, I wasn't a wag anymore.
So I definitely felt that way. And now we don't
even talk.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
You know what sucks.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
I feel like it may not even be her more
than it's the shit these niggas put in your head,
because no men really do be acting like Oh, I
can't tell you how many times I'm sure I've been
the quote unquote whole friend I have a friend that
stopped relationship, and as I grew as a businesswoman, suddenly
the respect level change because the nigga needed me to
maybe like, oh hey, I have this production that it

(32:21):
shit shits right, because people can judge you in different ways.
And I really do think when the woman acts like that,
it's the man not encouraging her.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
I mean, there was a scenario that wasn't presented in
those comments that I've experienced with two different friends. For me,
I just didn't think the men were good partners. So
both partners were abusive with both friends. One friendship no
longer exists, the other friendship they're no longer engaged, and
so she got out of a tumultuous relationship. And for me,

(32:51):
knowing that the proposal was coming, I just didn't support
the union. And as a friend, who is not going
to support a woman being in an abusive relationship because
I basically physically and if I believe you deserve better,
I understand you wanting to be a wife. But that's
where I've expressed my uh, what is it dislike?

Speaker 1 (33:14):
Dislike, disdain, disdain for.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
The union that that friendship ended up ending, Because if
you want to be a wife, so bad that you
go let this nigga keep beating on you and I
got to be around to hear him talk talk to
you like that and put the.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
Stands on you, and it don't get better.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
This doesn't work for me because I can't sit here
and see my friend experiencing that. So for me, it
could also be an end of a relationship. Not because
the single bitch is jealous, not because you know she's
she mad that she ain't.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
A nigga, ain't propos her. But you see here flowning
a ring to.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
A nigga that you not, you're not fully happy with,
and it's not a healthy union.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
It's not a healthy relationship.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
And sometimes friends just want to continue being in delusion
because they just want to ring so bad.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
I'm not gonna let's just want the good abuse I
think is like obviously hard enough for all of us.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah, but if you just don't like the niggas, yeah,
I have definitely seen some not so you ain't like y'all.
Y'allmost not leting it the partner. Oh, I'm bringing up
a spot and I'll shut up.

Speaker 7 (34:14):
I mean, yeah, it's been for a minute. Yeah, Okay, No,
you're not to talk about it.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
No, I don't know where. It's just funny because it's
just like I do.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
We have a lot, but we don't. It's not of you,
So well, hold on, let me finish. What I was
going to say was, is it okay if we don't
Mandy just expressed he was abusive. I don't support it
if we don't fuck with the nigga. That's why I
was gonna ask you, because.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
In terms of not liking a partner, bro, I gotta
sleep with him and fuck him, so I don't give
a Yeah, what makes either of you just.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Dislike a partner?

Speaker 3 (34:48):
Because cool, it ain't gotta be a nigga you would date.
How do you just dislike someone for your friend if
they're not being unhealthy and abusive?

Speaker 1 (34:56):
What makes you not like a partner that your friends shoo?

Speaker 7 (34:59):
I feel like were me like in the times that
I've been in that situation, it's hard to learn how
to navigate because it's it's hard when, like you have,
you're watching somebody that you really genuinely love and care
about go through these ups and downs, and it's like
it becomes emotionally draining for you as well, because it's
like when you back cool, I gotta be cool within
it or like him. And when y'all fall out, now

(35:19):
I gotta hate him. Now I gotta be back okay
with him. And it's just like, bro, I can't switch
on and off because I don't love this man and
I really don't give a fuck about him, so it's
like I care about you.

Speaker 4 (35:28):
So that's when it has become hard for me.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
That makes figure out. I don't like the unknown relationship.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Did your friends get angry with you or your ex?

Speaker 3 (35:37):
My friends were never a part of my relationship like that.
But no, I mean, like, if they know you went
through a breakup, okay, like cause you were, you'll say
we broke up thirteen times?

Speaker 1 (35:47):
We did.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
So if you hit him and you're like, oh fuck this, nagga,
do they get okay, Mandy, Like did you feel any
of that in your friendships? Irritated with you for taking
him back? For going back?

Speaker 3 (35:58):
I mean maybe because it was like my first love,
my first year relationship, and the happiness that I did
feel when I was happy, They enjoyed seeing the version
of who I became with him.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
Now, of course, when I'm sad, it's fucked that nigga.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
But I think my friends supported the growth that I
was experiencing in the relationship, and they had never really
seen me on one.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
So it's different. I don't think they did. I do
think that.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
Because I don't like it, I stopped over sharing all
the things, so like, yeah, I tell all of y'all
we broke up thirteen times. My friends maybe only knew
about seven of yea because we would break up sometimes
in increments of a week and get back together. This
is and it wasn't a big enough thing for me
to be like, girl, we that was you know what.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
So sometimes you just got to keep some of that
information nothing.

Speaker 5 (36:46):
And I feel like with me, I felt like in
those situations and instances, I agree with what you said,
because at a certain point, your friendships can't forgive as
quickly as you can, so it'd be like, I'm not
about to tell you every single thing. And we were
and like I remember one time we had a clash
in because I said, regardles or whatever you're going through
with anybody you going through, I'm not going to and
she has not use this worry. But I was like,
I never feel that invested in any relationship here, So

(37:07):
it's just like, why are you that invested, Like not
that invested, but why are you Why is it affecting
you to that manner that I will never even understand
with someone else's relationship, And because it's like you hold
grace and these things and it's like you're figuring it
out together, and.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
It's like it's multiple different relationships you have to maneuver.

Speaker 5 (37:22):
But with me, I was like, after a while some
of the ship wouldn't even be reason for us to
break up, you know what I'm saying. We would just
you would be it would be right now. And then
my friends are like, honestly, that's the straw that broke
the camels back. Fuck him, And I'm like, I'm not.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
I didn't. I'm down. I guess that's the thing too.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
Like in terms of women, we all know that we
have again and we talked about it.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
We'll go back to a man that did us wrong,
we like it, we don't keep going.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
And as friends, as women, we all know a woman
not gonna leave until she ready.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
To leave exactly.

Speaker 3 (37:58):
Sometimes it's friends you just kind of and again, I'm
not supporting abuse. I'm never gonna sit here and rock
with a bitch saying with a nigga putting his hands on.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
Her, but for me the I love him, I don't
love him. We got in the argument to say working
and caring me.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
I argue with the bitch about like, I don't know
if you've had an intense combo about with one of
your friends.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
I got abused. I recently did. She went back to
a dude.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
She sent me a tape one night of him streaming
and throwing stuff at her, and she said she started
filming because she thought he would do something. She said,
I just needed it on just in case, And I
was like it you knew you had to turn your
fucking camera on. Yeah, Like, I ain't never got in
an argument with my nigga. Thought let me regarding And
I don't mean that as shade by any means. I've
been in those moments before women, But I mean to

(38:41):
know that you had to, I'm like, you can't do this.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
We get into the discussion maybe a few days ago,
because they're in a relationship now and they're doing well
and he's really trying, and I said, I just don't
understand how you had a line, especially with your family
trauma with men putting his hands on women.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
He threw something. He never put his hands on me.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
I said that sense to me, to your baby, and
tell me how fucking silly you feel.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I do.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
I agree with that.

Speaker 7 (39:06):
And then like, also I agree with like what you
were saying about when you have to like hold back
and like not tell your friends every single argument like
that is one hundred percent true.

Speaker 4 (39:14):
I'm a super open book.

Speaker 7 (39:16):
But also I haven't been in like one of those
type of toxic relationships since my early twenties for real,
so like I don't really go through that like now,
like I'll tell my friends all the business and like
it's whatever, because this is not somebody I'm like going
back and forth.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
With for like years.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
But it even came to a point where like I
have had to be like stop telling me stuff like
I don't want to know anything because it's hard for
me to like hear, and like how you use the
word like why are you so invested or whatever the case?

Speaker 4 (39:43):
Maybe yes, you know, I hate that word.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
I couldn't think of another word. I literally word, but
it's just like I can't.

Speaker 7 (39:49):
I don't bro It's just like I don't I can't
like I literally fucking cannot and I'm gonna have my
own personal opinions about and also it's like the rose
colored glasses thing. And also so I don't want to
be I don't want to be the friend who's like, fuck,
can't leave him you, like blah blah blah, Like I
want to be the person who's like, I'm gonna be
here for you whatever decision you decide, whether in my mind.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
Yes, bleave it please, like I'm not.

Speaker 7 (40:11):
I don't want to like put that on you and
put that pressure on you so that you feel like
you can't never talk to me. Because even like we
came to a point where it was like I'm gonna
try to hold my tongue so that she feels comfortable
opening up to me, Like I don't want to have
to be like, so what happened, Like she would like
start to feel like I'm gonna just tell you what
happened and what's going on, and I would just be like, okay.

Speaker 5 (40:30):
I feel like, honestly, as adults, the older we get,
I don't want to it isn't even about relationships sometimes
sometimes I feel like things should just be kept to
ourselves just in general and to answer, like with the
wife thing are with like a friend judging you because
you're with somebody or because you're not with him anymore.
I have never been one to even do that because
I feel like the same way you could be in
like the same way I was in a relationship for

(40:51):
four years and out of nowhere, I'm not in one anymore,
that things could turn around so quickly do So why
who are you to judge anybody to be in a
relationship or to not be in a relationship, or how
they handle relationships.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
There's definitely a hierarchy we could do.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
But I think we do have to hold our friends
accountable because there's a thing of like she gonna leave
when she want to leave? We all know, just look
at ourselves. But also I think when children are involved,
to put my friends to a different standard. But I
used to take a lot of shit on the chin
with them, going to them, like you know, coming to
me and telling me all these terrible things about these men.

(41:24):
But now like I really do want to hold my
friends accountable because it was the only things that got
me out of a bad relief.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
Like do better at first, do better is tricky, especially
to do better.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Is the do better. First of all, who are you
talking to well?

Speaker 2 (41:36):
To do better?

Speaker 1 (41:37):
Well? To do better?

Speaker 3 (41:38):
And tricky because I think like there is there are
these things that I mean. I think either we saw
the trauma from growing up that people do got to
work through in therapy.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
I get that right.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
You asked the question earlier if if a conversation had
ever been had that got spicy with me and a friend,
and it actually got it happened recently, and boy was
and I responded with zero empathy because I felt attacked.
So basically, there was an incident when she was with
her partner who was abusive.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
We were all out one night. We had plans.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
People flew in, We were supposed we had dinner reservations,
all these things. He got in the car and said, nope,
we're going back to the house. Everyone's eating pizza. And
I felt away because I'm like, bro, everyone flew in,
we got these dinner reservations, and bit y'all don't play that.
So I hopped out the car. I said, bitch, I'm
going to the restaurant. And we're dressed. We're dressed, we're out.

(42:34):
We're we've all been out all night, like for during
the day, we're outside and we have a reservation. We're
all in this car now. And he gets in the
car and real attitude, Yeah, take us home. We can
order pizza now and hold on in My response like, bro,
we all in town. The reservations made. This was a
hard reservation to get. And I respond like, hell no.

(42:58):
Then I'm like, oh, y'all still and the other friends
and her went home. I got out the car, didn't.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Know what transpired after all of this, she got her
ass beat and he blamed me.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
So she came years later and was like, you know
what you did that night? You caused me to get
my ass g gone. And so I literally sat there.
I said, what you're not gonna do? And this is
why I chose never to come around that situation ever again,
because you having.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
The nerve to blame me for why this man put
in him. It's not like I Cantina, And I.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
Was just like, and see, so when you say you
could do better, even the logic that after this relationship,
this is this is what.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
We're going to do. You got out of the car,
bro and and because I called and.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
And she got her ass beat, And then years later
she's only in the conversation, she's no longer without but
years later she because and she held that and oh
but in the moment, I said, oh yeah, but you dead.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
AS's wrong because I called ship.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
It wouldn't make me somoment I was Oh, I was out,
we were crying.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
It was a little.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
High of a pedestal I'd put friends on and now
it might be your ass like no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
That's crazy.

Speaker 8 (44:12):
I know.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
I felt offended, like as a friend who also after
that night, I saw the dynamic and I said, oh,
I'm good. Don't ever invite me out while you're around him,
while you stay with him. I understand, this is the
partner you choose, but I didn't choose to invite this
man into my life.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
And I think that's the tricky part.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
About even marriage, relationships with women, all these things. Unfortunately,
a friend get with a nigga. Next thing you know,
he's joining in on all the girls night, He's joining
at dinner, and it's like, I didn't choose this man
as a friend, but you're making me now have friendship.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yeah, girl, you weigh him, not me. Why Girl's night.
I do have.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
A last friend that I wish I could take back.
And he always sticks out with me, so were don't
have to put a trigger warning on this.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
No, no, no fresh breakup. No, this is the domestic violence.
Oh yeah right, basically like.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
He wasn't whooping her ass or nothing, but he just
was really mean and nasty.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
So we would all hang out.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
We're in La one night and it was something similar,
I'm lit, but we're all lit. I think we're leaving
like an everyday people, like day party, and I was like,
ask me out. I already got to tell people at
Riy Hall party and he's like, who the fuck said
they going to every party? I was like, meet Nigga
out out, so and I booked this for everybody, thinking
I'm being nice. Think it was her birthday, So long

(45:34):
story short. He starts telling me like, you want to
make plans with people, then you let people know you're
making plans.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
Nine you like talking to you crazy, Yes, there's other
people in other cars.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
I really was genuinely like being playful, like oh, I
mean yeah, so I thinks out of my mouth, who
fuck do you think you're talking to?

Speaker 1 (45:51):
Do you think you're talking to her? Nigga? Looks great
because I'm in a motherfucking bed and.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
That's what the fuck CARTI b said about a lot
and had to apoloigh, No, you can't call a bitch
pussy and that's your.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
At this.

Speaker 7 (46:05):
I mean, you say I'm not your bitch, like, don't
talk to me like that, or you could say I'm.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
Not I mean that's what I said, but I mean,
I don't know. I think I could say that because
I'm not fucking I'll talk to me like I'm your bag.

Speaker 7 (46:18):
I'm not saying you talked to her like that, but
I'm saying I'm not your girl. Don't don't come to
me with no fucking aggression, bitch, because I now I
got a nigga for you.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Aren't you about to head your friend? You're not about
to die when it all came to a head.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
I recently apologized to her and I told my man
what happened because we were all out with him, and
he was like, what were you saying to him that
was so bad that you apologized to him too?

Speaker 1 (46:41):
I was like, I was calling him a pussy. I'm like,
ye put that niggas like I love niggas. I was like, drives,
don't even look.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Back here, you know, And I ain't gonna lie as
a friend back to what you said about your friend.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
Not one bitch could call my man out his name,
Like I think you're not about to screaming me.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
I get that, But to call your man a pussy
and money, that's over selling for sure.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Oh no, no, no, that should have happened.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Should actually he yelled at her. If my homegirl gets
yelled at by my man, call him what you want to, babe,
because you don't deserve it, and I'll.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Do it again. I'll talk to my friends that way.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
The only thing I should have never have said was
that I'm not her butreaming at me in the back.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
I'm telling you right now, I'm not, Like.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
What's your friends saying? So he was like, how did
why did you apologize? And like what did you say
to him? So I told him what I said and
he responded by saying, you've really had niggas talk to
you crazy to where you couldn't even check him hom
because you know, like that's your like trauma response, like

(47:52):
you saying this, You saying that now?

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Granted my nigga didn't even tell me.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
I shouldn't have said that to him. He was like,
you really like that and the dude apologize in front
of him as well. Yeah, but I think what it
really is is, she had later told me kind of
the same as your friend. Now he knows I told
everyone he talks to me crazy. Oh and I think
to that point, I would say, time and time again. Well,
I mean to be like, do you tell your friend

(48:16):
of our disagreements? I'm like, for the most part, no,
But if you ever did something crazy, yeah, yes, if
you ever like cheated on me crazy, screamed at me crazy,
expect that.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
They all fucking know. Yeah. I am not your only judge.
My family is your judge. My friends are your judge. Jesus,
poor hogs, you're judge, Nigga, I feel like it. And
then no holds barred book.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
Do not play with me if you think that you
are so special that if you were nasty, I'm going
to sit and hold it.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
What what?

Speaker 1 (48:45):
What did? What did kat Williams say?

Speaker 5 (48:48):
He said, you don't get to dictate how you how
I think you show up in my life. And that's
what he said, right, He said, you don't get to
dictate how I show like how or would I tell
people you show up in my life? But I asked,
what did your friend say in that moment while he
was yelling at you? Like did she just s she was?

Speaker 1 (49:02):
She was crying, she knew like.

Speaker 7 (49:05):
I can't even imagine if any of my friends and.

Speaker 4 (49:10):
Better check your No, you can't do that.

Speaker 1 (49:18):
Your elbows are up. No, you can't.

Speaker 5 (49:20):
But those boundari should never just be crossed in general.
It's like, no, you got to check that man and
that moment, and you have to have to also check
the woman because it's like you can't, you can't.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
What's something that you and Winter like, just for everyone listening,
we were on their pod and you guys made up
and kept doing your show, and I know your listeners
are so fucking happy. What's a boundary or promise you
guys have made to each other in your friendship that
made it not a friend breakup but a makeup.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
Like recent Yeah, a boundary.

Speaker 7 (49:46):
I mean I think our stuff was more like work
related and we just really needed to We need to
still kind of like go over some stuff, but we
just want to.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (49:55):
Well, A, well, there's a couple of things I would think.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Like, for well, how do you move forward? Not like no, yeah,
how we move forward?

Speaker 7 (50:02):
I would definitely say there was something that I have
brought up to Shy, which I think it's like worth
talking about because we've already gotten through it, but like
not holding on to things from the past and like
bringing it up in current shit, because that's kind.

Speaker 4 (50:14):
Of what happened.

Speaker 7 (50:15):
It was like a boilover of this little thing, this
little thing, this little thing, and then like it was
kind of like brought forward, and I was like, I
don't want you to be bringing up shit that we've
already gotten through and worked through. Even if I understand
you're trying to like prove your point. It's like a
slap in the face because we have had to get
through a lot of stuff, and it's just like, you
can't be bringing up shit from six months ago to

(50:36):
prove your point because now we gotta fucking argue again
about the.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
Point from six months Did you really work through? I
feel like we did, because if I bring something up,
I don't believe it.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
I don't think we yeah, And that's how I kind
of feel too.

Speaker 5 (50:46):
I for the most part, with me, with certain things,
it's just like it's like to me, I'm trying to
explain a misunderstanding and the problem with me sometimes is
that when we talked about this when you were on
the podcast, we were like, things will build up and
build up and build up, and then when I blow up,
it's like be confusing and it'll be like, well and
I have to explain to you why that build up was.
To me and for her it would be like, all right,

(51:07):
this is this seems like a tit for it seems.

Speaker 4 (51:09):
Like a.

Speaker 7 (51:12):
Differently we communicate very We heard youtate.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
A lot of Tauruses and one thing that's been difficult
for me, but it's also kind of beautiful about a Taurus.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
They're a little too matter of fact.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
I don't know if you're that way, but I felt
like sometimes when I'm emotional an argument with a tourist,
they'll kind of just be like more so trying to
like steer back to a point, or maybe aren't being
a good listener, and that's all I'm interpreting it. They
could really only handle one issue at a time, and
you're water signed girl, haig.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
I don't like.

Speaker 7 (51:44):
I just don't like feeling like like you're holding resentment
towards me because I will get through some shit, like
I can take my accountability. I can be wrong like,
I'm I'm okay with that. I can when I if
I hurt her feelings or if I do something and
I know I'm wrong, I could be like, oh, okay,
you're right, I'm not going to do it again, whatever
the case.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
Blah blah blah, let's move forward.

Speaker 7 (52:06):
I want to move forward then, like, I don't want
bringing this shit up because I.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
Mean, because then the next time I'm bringing something up,
if you're going back there now, we're not taking care
of the matter at here. It's the And I've brought
this up in therapy a lot too, just in terms
of being able to express your emotions. And I dealt
with this with my ex, Oh my god, a lot,
but it came to be where you feel like it's
never a safe space to share how you feel. So

(52:32):
the resentment is okay, Well, if I can't say I
have an issue right here, because instead of us addressing it,
you're going to bring something else up from the past
that you didn't get over that I thought we already
worked over. Then at this point we awful, right too,
Hey A lot of moments sharing your feelings like.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
Being like, hey, like I feel hurt by this, so
we can't live in the accountability that I think a
lot of people need maturation for it too, Like it
takes time, Like it takes a lot of healing. Like
I think that might be everybody's number one issue in
an argument.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
That was like a big thing for me too, like
because it was like I felt like, if I don't
agree with something, it's hard for me to tell you that,
because I felt like you're holding onto other things and
it's gonna make you automatically be defensive.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
But I'm not trying to come at you no way.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
You talk like me, Like, just because I disagree with
you doesn't make this an argument. We're supposed to be
able to agree and disagree, not everything's the argument.

Speaker 7 (53:29):
But I understand, Yeah, I understand from her perspective though,
Like I understand like why she would maybe be defensive
because of arguments or disagreements we've had in the past,
but like also it's like.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
You guys get over those or do you never get
over them? Is that the thing?

Speaker 5 (53:41):
For the most part our most recent argument when we
talked about this on the podcast, to me, like when
she said she felt like we would go through the things,
I was like, there were certain things that I have
never said vocally out loud, and why I'm bringing up
these things, why I'm saying it's because of these things.
Like when I would say, I would give examples for
certain things, and that's to me, it was like examples
of why I feel this way. It wasn't a I
genuinely was not trying to me. I feel like, if

(54:04):
we can get over it, we can get past it,
then it'll be fine.

Speaker 1 (54:07):
You want try to tell you something really vulted her?
I mean, of course I do. Of course things aren't.

Speaker 5 (54:11):
Things don't be that deep, like you know, to me,
if it's like, if we can get over this, if
we find then it'll.

Speaker 7 (54:17):
Be like that, she likes to She honestly like she's
the type of person that would be like, okay, well whatever,
like let's move on, like we could just brush it.
I'm the type of person to be like we kind
of got to like address the shit, like you know,
that's how to hold on, Like I will like I
will have my feelings her until I express my feelings.
She don't feel the need to always express herself, but
then when she does, it's like a fucking pile up.
If I'm like, and you know what you have. That's

(54:40):
a real blessing, a safe space. She's like willing to
hear you.

Speaker 2 (54:44):
Like the mean problem with friendships to me when friends
argue is like if I've been burned telling you something
like I'm so sensitive about my parents that if I'm
not a friend, not get deep enough for me, I
won't tell you shit about it.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
Yeah, like you could.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
Be like I didn't know all that happened. Oh yeah,
because I and feel like you were warmed for me.
The fact that you have that, I think you guys
will always be able to like be okay in your
work relationship, because that.

Speaker 5 (55:07):
Is the worst part, you know, because we put we
have to put our friendship first, and you know, it
is a it is a vulnerability that sometimes like maybe
like I sometimes I'm not as emotional or you know,
and people like say that about us sometimes, like we
had an episode where they were just like shy, I
just not have don't seem like she doesn't have empty
and it's like I do. I have so much empathy
in these situations, but we just handled it differently.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
Like she will cry, like lately I've been crying out
in public.

Speaker 5 (55:32):
She will cry in public, I'm crying in the shower.
You know what I'm saying, Like I and then I
have to show up. I am this personality. It's weird
when I don't show up as myself. So I am
just a We just handle emotions differently, and just how
we do it kind of shows up in our communication
because if I can get if I can get over
the situation. And I also have four older sisters, yeah,

(55:54):
I know we can argue.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
I'm never did I have half siblings so you're an
own child? I mean no, they weren't in the house
with me all the time sometimes.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
But so that's what that goes to show that, like
I can understand the dynamic of like we might just
have this big ass fucking argument and then two hours later,
can I borrow your shirt?

Speaker 3 (56:17):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (56:18):
She was like the things don't really like and yeah,
and this is like my this is my like my
sister damn near so to me. But the thing is that,
like I have to remember sometimes it's not just friendship,
it's business. So in business, the difference is we have
to address these things now. And I feel like I've
gotten better with that. But then I'd be like it'd
be certain things, but like I would.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
Just set our argument off was so dumb, petty.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
It was a dictator.

Speaker 7 (56:42):
I was like, that somedam dictator and I needed to
learn how to be a partner rather than a problem.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
And then she takes it to the group child and the.

Speaker 7 (56:53):
Assisted she goes I think Winter, I said, okay, but
she want to take.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
It here now, bro, I was being extremely aggressive.

Speaker 5 (57:01):
I know it was the fun I was doing, you
know'sive and I hate that ship was yeah, I said,
talking about the queen Winter.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
I said, you know what going to mind you?

Speaker 7 (57:12):
It was so dumb. It was a picture that we
were going to post on Instagram, but now we.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
Got to see it.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
It was so as we end this episode, y'all sharing
this motherfucking picture.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Is wait, no, I don't behind because we agree. Oh yeah,
this bitch was like, don't post ship with me on
that back. I said, you think you're hurting me. I
don't give a fuck it. I was like, do not
post me on nothing? And the petty it was that
argument was her about post on nothing.

Speaker 7 (57:37):
I was like, yes, because now we were in the
petty moment because she wanted to post something.

Speaker 5 (57:41):
No, it wasn't I was going to be in pairs
I knew I was gonna be gone, so I'm like,
we're gonna do something very was.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Nothing wrong with that, wasn't it cute? Like how creative
you comment and said, y'all been just creative as hell
with the cardboard thing.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (57:54):
I think so.

Speaker 4 (57:54):
But that wasn't the issue in the photo she said.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Miss Queen done Instagram for twenty five years day and
the pictures asking me how to do an Instagram. Yeah,
I love it, but this wasn't This wasn't a part
of that. This was just like we need some ship
to promote and it was cute. It was cute. That
bare the problem over. No, we don't we love each other.

(58:18):
This is really no, this is.

Speaker 3 (58:21):
This is just funny because we've had the same argument
over pictures. It was literally moving before I'd be like,
well I'm finishing.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
I wasn't allowed to post Getty images and I said
stay on the internet. I didn't get you.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
Was like, don't post some of them, and I was like, bitch,
I paid so much money for this clown and all
of our pictures were I was like, yeah, well I
tried to cut you out and then it didn't fit
on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
So didn't have to cut it out.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
But yeah, like it's so funny, like the pictures thing.
Yeahs of thing, but but it's like these.

Speaker 5 (58:46):
Small little it was small little things that trickled over
to make this big thing. And I'm happy that we
did address it, and like I do still feel like,
you know, like she's like she said, it was basically
like putting together. But I was like there were certain
things I said I had never spoken about, and I
didn't feel like we're resolved. So I had to lay
everything I'm on the table, not even for you, for
myself so I could be like, I know everything that
I've said from this point forward, like moving forward, we

(59:08):
have to move as a unit.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (59:10):
Y'all laugh about argument though, I think now they can
feel good.

Speaker 1 (59:13):
Yeah, because the argument part was funny. That was made part.

Speaker 7 (59:17):
The other ship that came after was not funny. But
that was what I when I said, Queen went no,
and I.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
Was when she was like dictator.

Speaker 4 (59:29):
I said this dumb mass and.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
I was like, you're mad, I said, you responded, are
you mad?

Speaker 1 (59:35):
Was weird?

Speaker 7 (59:37):
I was like saying, some ship. But at that point
it was funny. Then it didn't it wasn be then
at a point it wasn't funny.

Speaker 1 (59:42):
Yeah, but it's not awesome. I love that Yob made
it through.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
I always say, like in terms of friends potting, I say,
listen as long as you're prepared for one or both
things to end.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
Either the friendship the business are both.

Speaker 3 (59:53):
I've been in one where both ended, and so kudos
see all for work in Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
And you guys have like so many people that they're
doing live shows y'all, So I don't know when y'all
next one is, but we're probably watching this in December,
so hopefully y'all got something right.

Speaker 4 (01:00:06):
I'm actually are well wend in December.

Speaker 7 (01:00:08):
We're thinking about doing a show in early December in
La and I'm in La, so.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
In two Ford got to see it. I want to
be the Drunks fall to save.

Speaker 5 (01:00:16):
Oh no, literally, because were I told about when in Houston,
like eye shows do get a little fucking crazy, and
like we noticing the difference because we went to a
venue with no hard liquor and we used to be like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
I guess all were boring and we used to feel
overwhelmed with people how much they interrupted us. And I
was like we want you to.

Speaker 7 (01:00:34):
Be drunk as fucking a lot of body damn near
broke her ankle falling off the stage in Houston, drunk
as hell.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
I'm asked, so Vinny helped them with their Houston show
and I hit him my ball was like, how was it?

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
He said, remember when the bitch ran up on you
in Phoenix.

Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
Dad, trying to fight you. No, no, oh no, she said,
I'm here, I bought my ticket, I'm a part of
the show, and just walked off stage and insane himself
into our conversation and we were like, what's but.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
They were draw are people but you love one of
my favorite city. No, that was my favorite show. It
was a grand ghetto drunk.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
You go back on sword and run up on stage
because no, no, don't know how the stage too high
in the theaters now.

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
But show with just tell everyone where they can support you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
Listen to y'all, fuck with y'all, follow y'all audio, y'all
DM what's the day of the week.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
What don't I podcast drops behind?

Speaker 5 (01:01:25):
The Likes podcast drops every single Wednesday. You guys may
be on the thursdays of times a week behind, but we.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
Don't do that no more. I'm just kidding, do that.

Speaker 5 (01:01:31):
We're not doing that no more so Every Wednesday, behind
the likes pode drops. Our instagram is behind the likes
pod uh TikTok the same.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
My personal instagram is.

Speaker 4 (01:01:39):
C h y dot F shy dot f and my
name is w I I N t r R.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
So if y'all were stick of our biracial light skid
and we're.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Exactly leg yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Anyways, as if y'all want more bonus content mix, sure
y'all head over to our Patreon Patreon dot com backslash
Horrible Decisions. That's right, the sex, the talk, all the
runch is still over there on Patreon, so go ahead.
For his little five dollars a month, you get literally
a Horrible Decisions episode got damn weekly.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Okay. Also, if you haven't yet, no Oh's bar a
do a manifest Sex.

Speaker 3 (01:02:20):
Make sure y'all get our New York Times best selling book.
It is available wherever you purchase books. And y'all thank
y'all so very much for listening to another episode of
Decisions Decisions than by

Speaker 1 (01:02:35):
Going on our Patreon too,