August 6, 2025 • 19 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throuffle, guess what You've got decisions, You've Got Decisions.
Welcome you on to another episode of You've Got Decisions
on this motherfucker Hunt Day. I'm joined by a very
special guest to help give you bitches some advice.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Have one third of the friends on with me and
one of my very good best friends.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
A Sante.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
This motherfucker okay, period period period, to help me out.
If you guys want to send in your questions, make
sure you send them holes into Decisions pod at gmail
dot com.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Before we get started with this.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Week, as always, I'm going to read a lovely review
about our book, our New York Times bestselling book, No
Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power.
This this one comes from Lenny, who writed us five
stars over on Amazon. Pre ordered as a loyal twenty
seventeen or Hive member. I've been following Mandy and Weezi
(01:09):
four years now. Reading their book just solidified how far
these two ladies have come along in their journeys the
stories inside this book make them feel even more personable
than how they already work. If you haven't joined the Patreon,
I also highly recommend Bitch Me Too. They share a
lot of themselves with their fans there as well. Love
you guys, and continue educating the people through.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Real and raw experiences.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yes, now, clearly I kidnap Assante for a little bit.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
So if y'all want to hear.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Me talk about my recent experience with the new nigga
in my life, go on over to patreon dot com
backslash Horrible Decisions because we're still horrible for this very
special edition. If you got decisions, I'm gonna blend Mandy on.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
The holland Mandy on the high Line. I'm talking yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
And y'all know Ida meant one fourth of pretty Ricky
Son now.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I wish I could say for real.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Sorry, okay, And speaking of Bandy on the hotline, I'm
just gonna play a voicemail from someone who loves Bandy
on the hotline. By the way, if you want to
leave a voicemail, you can call ninety seven three nine
three two zero two two seven and leave a voicemail
like this one.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Hey, uh, Mandie on the hotline one of your listeners.
I'm actually driving on my way to work right now.
I didn't really have a question head on that I
could think of, but I'm a huge fan of the show.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I just pre ordered the audio play, and I hope
you guys keep doing what y'all doing.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
I enjoy selective ignorance, and I enjoy everything both of
you guys put out as a collective. But yeah, maybe
i'll call back with some advice if I can speak
on it a little later down the line. But I
appreciate trying to keep doing what y'all doing.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
We appreciate you.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Now, what is that kind of slow slow gym ship?
Is that? That was a little dirt that was vanish mom? No,
because I was on Instagram and it was a song
that was on my status for whatever reason because I
had listened to them. A little dirt, what's wrong? A
little dirt? Nothing we'll do. We won't do a little dirt.
You know, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I didn't peg you as at you as a as
a little Dirk fan.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Look that list, the list of people you peg. I know,
it's immaculous. That's crazy. Unfortunately, unfortunately I am not listen listen, No,
it was Dirk. Apparently he's fine or something. Was it
a little Dirk or apparently it's fine.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Is it a little Dirk in jail?
Speaker 4 (04:08):
It's it's a clone.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
It's got to be a clone.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
It's because I used to see that his little his
little leather shorts and.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
He couldn't dress for ship. It needs to be a
conversation about that for real, because they find out like
Gucci came back looking real good, Gunna been like fitness and.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Said it, let's send everybody to jail. Then when they
come out, baby, that's okay.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
That's no, no, no, let's let's not crap. Let's not
we're voted for now.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
No.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Clean out.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Wrong, But there is like whatever workouts they do in jail.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
You know, don't get me wrong. This is gonna sound terrible,
but I always said to myself, I just sounded terrible. Okay, Well,
I always say if I got locked up, then I
wouldn't have nothing to do but to work out, like
you know what you well, that's I want to say
that he do that say he was in jail, he
said he had the best time of his Like, whoa,
there's this gay man he was he's about say, I
(05:13):
don't know his fucking name. You go here, tell you're.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
The only fans nigga who's now like you?
Speaker 4 (05:19):
You he is the only fan See okay, here's the
only bed now.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
He makes all this jail content bending over strike niggas
in himself.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
There's something wrong with him because there's been like things
happening to him on Twitter. He's like, he looks like
he's mentally like something might be going on with him
in jail.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
That's a tough environment.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
It's so imagine being and he's trying to be a
content creator behind bars too. So like what, I.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Don't subscribe, but I watched the free stuff on Twitter.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
It's kind of good. I've seen some things. Yes, all right, anyway,
get back to it.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
We have a question from Shape from Houston, and Asante
helped me with this question.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Hey, this is straight from Houston, Texas. I just call
him love for Boysnail. But I'm gonna leave another one
to make it a little shorter. I have a homegirl
that me and her had a threesome with somebody in
my apartments for my birthday as a birthday gift. Since
that time, like us, three have consistently hung out with
(06:26):
each other, spent days with each other, you know, at
each other's apartments, her apartment, in my apartment, his apartment.
We've been on separate dates and things like that. We've
been on a couple of days. Like everything seems to
be real cool and it's very uh, situationship ish, But
(06:52):
I kind of want to bring up the topic of
us actually being in a poly relationship or being in
some type of thrupple. And I'm not really sure how
to approach a conversation, particularly with Ken. His name is Ken,
her name is Drea, And I was just looking for
(07:16):
advice on what you guys think God should do as
far as like approaching that conversation. And my reason that
is Keen is because you know, he comes off as
like a man's man, and I just don't want to
turn him off from from him, Like I don't want
to like, oh, you know, now, I gotta be something
(07:40):
extra than what it is. I really don't want anything
to change. I just want to get those times understood. Anyway,
any advice you guys could get it would be great.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Thanks. First off, shout out to you and your home girl.
Speaker 6 (07:54):
Okay, you other three songs for your birthday.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
It's like, oh, but you did that. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
That's amazing, And clearly y'all have brought some nigga in
that both for y'all were pleased by it because y'all
both hanging out with him together separately, y'all are all
doing this?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
How do you you know? Well, first of all, congratulations,
some of us can't stumble into one good situationship, let
alone a double like a like a full of poly
situationship is crazy. So I feel like everything's already there.
You know what I'm saying. You're just trying to clarify
(08:36):
or get the terms understood. You said you don't want
things to change, they would if you're going through this conversation. Look,
if you have the conversation, things are changing, you know. Yeah.
If y'all just gonna keep doing what y'all doing, then
you know, y'all gonna keep doing what y'all doing. But
there is something to be said about wanting more and
maybe trying to potentially see where that can go. So
(08:57):
I feel like if you want to have the conversation
down with both of them and just be real, like,
remind everybody of all the good things that are happening
and see if they want more of it now.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
If y'all listen on Patreon, I thought that I could
continue being friends with activate after we broke up, And
so for me, my initial mind goes to how closer
friends are you and this homegirl? Because once you introduce
a romantic relationship into this, and when I say romantic,
(09:30):
I'm talking about clearly the being together. Yeah, because y'all
know I fucked my friends and it doesn't change the
dynamic of it, right, But getting into a romantic relationship
with someone where now you have to show up as
a partner, we'll change the dynamic of the relationship that
you have with her. And so for me, I think
I would sit with first, would I be willing to
(09:52):
lose this friendship because now I want more? And a
lot of times where you think you can maintain friendships
with someone have to romantic relationships, apparently you can't try.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
But she seemed more concerned with the guy.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
So the reason here's my thing about the guy.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
She she brings him up as like a malely man,
and so for me, I think her concern is maybe
he's a whole ass nigga, And so how she even
described it, where she's like, I just don't know if
he's going to be into doing all that.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
For me, I felt like he's not.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
The one that maybe wants to be tied down.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I kind of took it. I took it to maybe
she didn't know she freaked him out with like like
maybe he thinks, well a title, but like you know,
maybe he's he's like fucking with the one girl her,
but like it might be weird for him to be
like you want to be poly now, girl, Like that's
like that's your friend, and like, yeah, we had threesomes
and again, I don't know my feeling right here is happenings.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I mean, I mean that's the thing too. We don't
know how old she is. To me, I actually kind
of agree with what you're saying. We have been talking
on this podcast about non monogamy and all these lifestyle.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Ways of dating because some niggas ain't in all that.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And ain' not they'd rather just cheat on you.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Right, So you brought that up to it, like that's
a good point, like her, but you aren't trying to
be in other threesome. I'm gonna just keep doing this
shit over here. Because it's freaky, but like, I'm not
trying to be in a three right relationship, so it
could go either way. I him not want to be
in it, But what I would say is have a
conversation with him, because I feel like you want to
talk to him about it first. If you feel secure
in your friendship with your homegirl that y'all could like
(11:30):
forego that for a poly relationship, then cool, kudos to you.
But if you're trying to figure out how you're going
to approach the topic of being in a poly relationship
with him, really see where he's at with the relationship
with you first, and how he would feel about integrating
another person into that, or what his true feelings are
about your friendship and what that would mean as far
as y'all being more than friends now and like how
(11:51):
like and even for you and your friend, y'all would
need to have a conversation about that. Like, so I
agree with that.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I think you had to have separate conversations with individually
before bringing.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
It, Separate conversations about where you're at with them, where
they're at with themselves, and how they feel about everything
that's been going on together.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Because also this just rooted from a goddamn threesome. Yeah,
are they dating other people?
Speaker 4 (12:10):
Right? What are what are.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Their interactions sexually and romantic feat outside of this little.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Tree right because it might be like we're having the threesome.
That's fun. But then like, oh now it's Wednesday and
I'm on a day with a nigga and I'm a
fuck him tonight instead. But I'm gonna see these bitches
on Friday Saturday. So I did three someme I'm looking
forward to. But yeah, if they're spending time together and
maybe accidentally grocery shopping all three of them now, and
it's like possible split three ways.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Because it looked like they got three apartments.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Bitch.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
If y'all all just want to save some money, honey,
in this economy and.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Starting dollars, I might need a bill split two. I
haven't missed peace.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I agree with with with where you're at.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I think you should talk to them individually, see where
they're at, especially outside of each other or outside of you,
and then consider with your friend if you you'd be
willing to you know, potentially ruin that friendship because you
want something more.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Because they actually have already crossed the line they having these,
they're in like a poly situationship. So now she's been
trying to figure out what like.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
So that's the other dynamic. First off, you're not in
a poly relationship if.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
You just hang out and polly situationship. I think that
that's the thing too.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I think when we start attaching Polly to things, Polly
is an umbrella term, and there's so many ways a
lot of formation to have that dynamic. And so you
guys have to talk about if it's going to be closed,
if it's gonna be like even.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
Before you bring in a relationship, but I get to
date other people, or like are we dating?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Do we get all other people and date other people?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
So for me too, I would want you to do
a deep dive on all of the different ways Polly
can be exper And then if you're coming with them
with this idea, you need to know your boundaries and
what really you're comfortable with, you.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Know what I mean? Yep, So to me, it looks
like it looks like that, Yeah, looks like that. Yeah.
For me, I would.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Want you to sit with realistically your own feelings, your
own boundaries, and before you be like, let's be in
a poly relationship. You need to go down all the
different poly relationships and figure out what would even truly work.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Right and honestly reflect some deep reflection. Are you ready
for a relationship with two people? Like if you're thinking
about like could this be more? But you say you
want to keep things where they're at. If you want
to keep things where they're at, then you might not
want to say anything curious, but if you want more
from it. So I really had that conversation with yourself
before you step into how you can to have it
(14:50):
with both of them, you know, either separated together, because
you could just you know, keep them together and just
be like, so, what do we all doing? How we
all feeling? Because some people like to do it like that,
but I'm the type I want to see what we
do separately, you know, figure out where you're at, to
see if I can align the hearts and heads together.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I think that's the thing too, when you talk about
wanting to be in a relationship as an adult, especially Polly,
when especially including two or more people, what are the
things that they have going on?
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Are they coparents? Like somebody like somebody has to know
how the formula is being put together. Sometimes there's the
two that come in for the one, but sometimes there's
the one bringing the two or three or whatever together.
But you have to somebody that has to have the
knowledge of how.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
These That's the thing I just brought up, doing any
of them co parent because maybe now both y'all gotta
deal with both.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Y'all got to deal with the parent. What if thebody
wants kids and somebody don't.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Now were going down the rabbit, But yes, of all
of those things you actually have to consider before getting
into a relationship. And so if the sex is fun
and y'all just like hanging out, the pressure of a
relationship doesn't.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Have to be there.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yes, but yeah, as it.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Gets a little difficult when you start adding in all
of these different scenarios and ways in which you have
to show up. And for me, I love that we're
thinking of these non traditional ways of having relationships, but
also the dick, the pussy, the threesome could have just
(16:15):
been that far that now you also think you want
to be in a relationship with these people, but really,
when you unphil the layers, these might not be people
that make a good partner. And I think that that's
the last part I want to end on is that
a lot of times we have sex with people and
when that oxytocin and hormones and all the science happens,
(16:36):
we get delusion and we start seeing these people is
something more than just the great time that we had.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
In the bedroom? Can I admit I am a very
delusional person. But here's the thing. I love my delusions
because I know how to separate them.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
How do you separate your delusion if you delusion?
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Well, because I know that the world sucks curiod. So
like I know that when I'm having a delusion, it's
like like this is amazing, not because this is actually amazing, Okay,
makeing me it amazing. So when I'm thinking about like,
oh this is so much fun, I might want to
be with this nigga, I'm thinking to myself, I want
to be with this nigga in this moment, but this
nigga is broke or they're not doing anything what they
(17:15):
like or we I mean, I can have fun with
the broke nigga. Oh, first off, let's be very clear.
If y'all go, if y'all go back to.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Horrible decisions, maybe this was what was it probably pre pandemic,
So maybe like twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen. I was fucking
this nigga and he was fucking me so good, and
we were like smoke blunts listening to Young Thug.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
All the shit.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
He don't want put me on the yr Thug Anyway,
it was so good.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
I considered what things could look like with us hold
on you ready?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
And he had nine kids.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Not only did he have nine kids, I fucked him
and one of his baby mamas.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
This is how But I considered so that it was
really really, it's so bruh.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
And I literally was like, oh, I could be with
with nine kids? What was I But so I use
that as the example of what it's good.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
You really start thinking of all these things it could be,
and it's like, bitch wake up.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Ye And so this might be a bitch wake up moment.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yep, yeah it was. It was fun. Yep, it could yeah,
bitch wake up? Yes, all right, you hit another point,
but a very important one. It could definitely be a
bitch wake up moment, just a bitch wake up.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I'm glad you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Glad that could you take that? It was so much
fun that we are not supposed to be doing that
on a regular basis, or that's so much fun. You
don't need to marry that.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
This should be for like holidays and birthdays.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
And I was like, this is so much fun. We
only need it on Labor Day after all. The bitches
don't put the white away like this is when we're
gonna have this. We don't need to marry this, We don't.
We don't need to take this home. That's not what's
happening at period. We don't need to take two people
home to mom.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So our advice to you shape from Houston is bitch,
wake up, douse you bite me fleep.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
There's a lot of advice in there, but bitch wake
up is the greatest lace man.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yes, if you want more advice from us on you
Got Decisions Again, email us Decisions Pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Or if you want to leave a voicemail and be
a part.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Of Mandy on the hotline over on the Patreon, it's
ninety seven three nine three two zero.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Two two sell beach and that's all. See you guys
next week. Bye.
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throuffle, guess what You've got decisions, You've Got Decisions.
Welcome you on to another episode of You've Got Decisions
on this motherfucker Hunt Day. I'm joined by a very
special guest to help give you bitches some advice.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Have one third of the friends on with me and
one of my very good best friends.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
A Sante.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
This motherfucker okay, period period period, to help me out.
If you guys want to send in your questions, make
sure you send them holes into Decisions pod at gmail
dot com.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Before we get started with this.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Week, as always, I'm going to read a lovely review
about our book, our New York Times bestselling book, No
Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power.
This this one comes from Lenny, who writed us five
stars over on Amazon. Pre ordered as a loyal twenty
seventeen or Hive member. I've been following Mandy and Weezi
(01:09):
four years now. Reading their book just solidified how far
these two ladies have come along in their journeys the
stories inside this book make them feel even more personable
than how they already work. If you haven't joined the Patreon,
I also highly recommend Bitch Me Too. They share a
lot of themselves with their fans there as well. Love
you guys, and continue educating the people through.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Real and raw experiences.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yes, now, clearly I kidnap Assante for a little bit.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
So if y'all want to hear.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Me talk about my recent experience with the new nigga
in my life, go on over to patreon dot com
backslash Horrible Decisions because we're still horrible for this very
special edition. If you got decisions, I'm gonna blend Mandy on.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
The holland Mandy on the high Line. I'm talking yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
And y'all know Ida meant one fourth of pretty Ricky
Son now.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I wish I could say for real.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Sorry, okay, And speaking of Bandy on the hotline, I'm
just gonna play a voicemail from someone who loves Bandy
on the hotline. By the way, if you want to
leave a voicemail, you can call ninety seven three nine
three two zero two two seven and leave a voicemail
like this one.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Hey, uh, Mandie on the hotline one of your listeners.
I'm actually driving on my way to work right now.
I didn't really have a question head on that I
could think of, but I'm a huge fan of the show.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I just pre ordered the audio play, and I hope
you guys keep doing what y'all doing.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
I enjoy selective ignorance, and I enjoy everything both of
you guys put out as a collective. But yeah, maybe
i'll call back with some advice if I can speak
on it a little later down the line. But I
appreciate trying to keep doing what y'all doing.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
We appreciate you.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Now, what is that kind of slow slow gym ship?
Is that? That was a little dirt that was vanish mom? No,
because I was on Instagram and it was a song
that was on my status for whatever reason because I
had listened to them. A little dirt, what's wrong? A
little dirt? Nothing we'll do. We won't do a little dirt.
You know, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I didn't peg you as at you as a as
a little Dirk fan.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Look that list, the list of people you peg. I know,
it's immaculous. That's crazy. Unfortunately, unfortunately I am not listen listen, No,
it was Dirk. Apparently he's fine or something. Was it
a little Dirk or apparently it's fine.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Is it a little Dirk in jail?
Speaker 4 (04:08):
It's it's a clone.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
It's got to be a clone.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
It's because I used to see that his little his
little leather shorts and.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
He couldn't dress for ship. It needs to be a
conversation about that for real, because they find out like
Gucci came back looking real good, Gunna been like fitness and.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Said it, let's send everybody to jail. Then when they
come out, baby, that's okay.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
That's no, no, no, let's let's not crap. Let's not
we're voted for now.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
No.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Clean out.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Wrong, But there is like whatever workouts they do in jail.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
You know, don't get me wrong. This is gonna sound terrible,
but I always said to myself, I just sounded terrible. Okay, Well,
I always say if I got locked up, then I
wouldn't have nothing to do but to work out, like
you know what you well, that's I want to say
that he do that say he was in jail, he
said he had the best time of his Like, whoa,
there's this gay man he was he's about say, I
(05:13):
don't know his fucking name. You go here, tell you're.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
The only fans nigga who's now like you?
Speaker 4 (05:19):
You he is the only fan See okay, here's the
only bed now.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
He makes all this jail content bending over strike niggas
in himself.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
There's something wrong with him because there's been like things
happening to him on Twitter. He's like, he looks like
he's mentally like something might be going on with him
in jail.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
That's a tough environment.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
It's so imagine being and he's trying to be a
content creator behind bars too. So like what, I.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Don't subscribe, but I watched the free stuff on Twitter.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
It's kind of good. I've seen some things. Yes, all right, anyway,
get back to it.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
We have a question from Shape from Houston, and Asante
helped me with this question.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Hey, this is straight from Houston, Texas. I just call
him love for Boysnail. But I'm gonna leave another one
to make it a little shorter. I have a homegirl
that me and her had a threesome with somebody in
my apartments for my birthday as a birthday gift. Since
that time, like us, three have consistently hung out with
(06:26):
each other, spent days with each other, you know, at
each other's apartments, her apartment, in my apartment, his apartment.
We've been on separate dates and things like that. We've
been on a couple of days. Like everything seems to
be real cool and it's very uh, situationship ish, But
(06:52):
I kind of want to bring up the topic of
us actually being in a poly relationship or being in
some type of thrupple. And I'm not really sure how
to approach a conversation, particularly with Ken. His name is Ken,
her name is Drea, And I was just looking for
(07:16):
advice on what you guys think God should do as
far as like approaching that conversation. And my reason that
is Keen is because you know, he comes off as
like a man's man, and I just don't want to
turn him off from from him, Like I don't want
to like, oh, you know, now, I gotta be something
(07:40):
extra than what it is. I really don't want anything
to change. I just want to get those times understood. Anyway,
any advice you guys could get it would be great.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Thanks. First off, shout out to you and your home girl.
Speaker 6 (07:54):
Okay, you other three songs for your birthday.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
It's like, oh, but you did that. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
That's amazing, And clearly y'all have brought some nigga in
that both for y'all were pleased by it because y'all
both hanging out with him together separately, y'all are all
doing this?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
How do you you know? Well, first of all, congratulations,
some of us can't stumble into one good situationship, let
alone a double like a like a full of poly
situationship is crazy. So I feel like everything's already there.
You know what I'm saying. You're just trying to clarify
(08:36):
or get the terms understood. You said you don't want
things to change, they would if you're going through this conversation. Look,
if you have the conversation, things are changing, you know. Yeah.
If y'all just gonna keep doing what y'all doing, then
you know, y'all gonna keep doing what y'all doing. But
there is something to be said about wanting more and
maybe trying to potentially see where that can go. So
(08:57):
I feel like if you want to have the conversation
down with both of them and just be real, like,
remind everybody of all the good things that are happening
and see if they want more of it now.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
If y'all listen on Patreon, I thought that I could
continue being friends with activate after we broke up, And
so for me, my initial mind goes to how closer
friends are you and this homegirl? Because once you introduce
a romantic relationship into this, and when I say romantic,
(09:30):
I'm talking about clearly the being together. Yeah, because y'all
know I fucked my friends and it doesn't change the
dynamic of it, right, But getting into a romantic relationship
with someone where now you have to show up as
a partner, we'll change the dynamic of the relationship that
you have with her. And so for me, I think
I would sit with first, would I be willing to
(09:52):
lose this friendship because now I want more? And a
lot of times where you think you can maintain friendships
with someone have to romantic relationships, apparently you can't try.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
But she seemed more concerned with the guy.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
So the reason here's my thing about the guy.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
She she brings him up as like a malely man,
and so for me, I think her concern is maybe
he's a whole ass nigga, And so how she even
described it, where she's like, I just don't know if
he's going to be into doing all that.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
For me, I felt like he's not.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
The one that maybe wants to be tied down.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I kind of took it. I took it to maybe
she didn't know she freaked him out with like like
maybe he thinks, well a title, but like you know,
maybe he's he's like fucking with the one girl her,
but like it might be weird for him to be
like you want to be poly now, girl, Like that's
like that's your friend, and like, yeah, we had threesomes
and again, I don't know my feeling right here is happenings.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I mean, I mean that's the thing too. We don't
know how old she is. To me, I actually kind
of agree with what you're saying. We have been talking
on this podcast about non monogamy and all these lifestyle.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Ways of dating because some niggas ain't in all that.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And ain' not they'd rather just cheat on you.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Right, So you brought that up to it, like that's
a good point, like her, but you aren't trying to
be in other threesome. I'm gonna just keep doing this
shit over here. Because it's freaky, but like, I'm not
trying to be in a three right relationship, so it
could go either way. I him not want to be
in it, But what I would say is have a
conversation with him, because I feel like you want to
talk to him about it first. If you feel secure
in your friendship with your homegirl that y'all could like
(11:30):
forego that for a poly relationship, then cool, kudos to you.
But if you're trying to figure out how you're going
to approach the topic of being in a poly relationship
with him, really see where he's at with the relationship
with you first, and how he would feel about integrating
another person into that, or what his true feelings are
about your friendship and what that would mean as far
as y'all being more than friends now and like how
(11:51):
like and even for you and your friend, y'all would
need to have a conversation about that. Like, so I
agree with that.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I think you had to have separate conversations with individually
before bringing.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
It, Separate conversations about where you're at with them, where
they're at with themselves, and how they feel about everything
that's been going on together.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Because also this just rooted from a goddamn threesome. Yeah,
are they dating other people?
Speaker 4 (12:10):
Right? What are what are.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Their interactions sexually and romantic feat outside of this little.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Tree right because it might be like we're having the threesome.
That's fun. But then like, oh now it's Wednesday and
I'm on a day with a nigga and I'm a
fuck him tonight instead. But I'm gonna see these bitches
on Friday Saturday. So I did three someme I'm looking
forward to. But yeah, if they're spending time together and
maybe accidentally grocery shopping all three of them now, and
it's like possible split three ways.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Because it looked like they got three apartments.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Bitch.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
If y'all all just want to save some money, honey,
in this economy and.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Starting dollars, I might need a bill split two. I
haven't missed peace.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I agree with with with where you're at.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I think you should talk to them individually, see where
they're at, especially outside of each other or outside of you,
and then consider with your friend if you you'd be
willing to you know, potentially ruin that friendship because you
want something more.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Because they actually have already crossed the line they having these,
they're in like a poly situationship. So now she's been
trying to figure out what like.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
So that's the other dynamic. First off, you're not in
a poly relationship if.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
You just hang out and polly situationship. I think that
that's the thing too.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I think when we start attaching Polly to things, Polly
is an umbrella term, and there's so many ways a
lot of formation to have that dynamic. And so you
guys have to talk about if it's going to be closed,
if it's gonna be like even.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
Before you bring in a relationship, but I get to
date other people, or like are we dating?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Do we get all other people and date other people?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
So for me too, I would want you to do
a deep dive on all of the different ways Polly
can be exper And then if you're coming with them
with this idea, you need to know your boundaries and
what really you're comfortable with, you.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Know what I mean? Yep, So to me, it looks
like it looks like that, Yeah, looks like that. Yeah.
For me, I would.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Want you to sit with realistically your own feelings, your
own boundaries, and before you be like, let's be in
a poly relationship. You need to go down all the
different poly relationships and figure out what would even truly work.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Right and honestly reflect some deep reflection. Are you ready
for a relationship with two people? Like if you're thinking
about like could this be more? But you say you
want to keep things where they're at. If you want
to keep things where they're at, then you might not
want to say anything curious, but if you want more
from it. So I really had that conversation with yourself
before you step into how you can to have it
(14:50):
with both of them, you know, either separated together, because
you could just you know, keep them together and just
be like, so, what do we all doing? How we
all feeling? Because some people like to do it like that,
but I'm the type I want to see what we
do separately, you know, figure out where you're at, to
see if I can align the hearts and heads together.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I think that's the thing too, when you talk about
wanting to be in a relationship as an adult, especially Polly,
when especially including two or more people, what are the
things that they have going on?
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Are they coparents? Like somebody like somebody has to know
how the formula is being put together. Sometimes there's the
two that come in for the one, but sometimes there's
the one bringing the two or three or whatever together.
But you have to somebody that has to have the
knowledge of how.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
These That's the thing I just brought up, doing any
of them co parent because maybe now both y'all gotta
deal with both.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Y'all got to deal with the parent. What if thebody
wants kids and somebody don't.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Now were going down the rabbit, But yes, of all
of those things you actually have to consider before getting
into a relationship. And so if the sex is fun
and y'all just like hanging out, the pressure of a
relationship doesn't.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Have to be there.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yes, but yeah, as it.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Gets a little difficult when you start adding in all
of these different scenarios and ways in which you have
to show up. And for me, I love that we're
thinking of these non traditional ways of having relationships, but
also the dick, the pussy, the threesome could have just
(16:15):
been that far that now you also think you want
to be in a relationship with these people, but really,
when you unphil the layers, these might not be people
that make a good partner. And I think that that's
the last part I want to end on is that
a lot of times we have sex with people and
when that oxytocin and hormones and all the science happens,
(16:36):
we get delusion and we start seeing these people is
something more than just the great time that we had.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
In the bedroom? Can I admit I am a very
delusional person. But here's the thing. I love my delusions
because I know how to separate them.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
How do you separate your delusion if you delusion?
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Well, because I know that the world sucks curiod. So
like I know that when I'm having a delusion, it's
like like this is amazing, not because this is actually amazing, Okay,
makeing me it amazing. So when I'm thinking about like,
oh this is so much fun, I might want to
be with this nigga, I'm thinking to myself, I want
to be with this nigga in this moment, but this
nigga is broke or they're not doing anything what they
(17:15):
like or we I mean, I can have fun with
the broke nigga. Oh, first off, let's be very clear.
If y'all go, if y'all go back to.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Horrible decisions, maybe this was what was it probably pre pandemic,
So maybe like twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen. I was fucking
this nigga and he was fucking me so good, and
we were like smoke blunts listening to Young Thug.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
All the shit.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
He don't want put me on the yr Thug Anyway,
it was so good.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
I considered what things could look like with us hold
on you ready?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
And he had nine kids.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Not only did he have nine kids, I fucked him
and one of his baby mamas.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
This is how But I considered so that it was
really really, it's so bruh.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
And I literally was like, oh, I could be with
with nine kids? What was I But so I use
that as the example of what it's good.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
You really start thinking of all these things it could be,
and it's like, bitch wake up.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Ye And so this might be a bitch wake up moment.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yep, yeah it was. It was fun. Yep, it could yeah,
bitch wake up? Yes, all right, you hit another point,
but a very important one. It could definitely be a
bitch wake up moment, just a bitch wake up.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I'm glad you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Glad that could you take that? It was so much
fun that we are not supposed to be doing that
on a regular basis, or that's so much fun. You
don't need to marry that.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
This should be for like holidays and birthdays.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
And I was like, this is so much fun. We
only need it on Labor Day after all. The bitches
don't put the white away like this is when we're
gonna have this. We don't need to marry this, We don't.
We don't need to take this home. That's not what's
happening at period. We don't need to take two people
home to mom.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So our advice to you shape from Houston is bitch,
wake up, douse you bite me fleep.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
There's a lot of advice in there, but bitch wake
up is the greatest lace man.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yes, if you want more advice from us on you
Got Decisions Again, email us Decisions Pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Or if you want to leave a voicemail and be
a part.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Of Mandy on the hotline over on the Patreon, it's
ninety seven three nine three two zero.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Two two sell beach and that's all. See you guys
next week. Bye.
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