July 30, 2025 • 19 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throatfle.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Guess what you've got decisions?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
It's hot day, bitches.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
If you got decisions, it maybe be with my friend ASANTI.
I tried, I tried, I tried no oh, because I
said hey and I went aste.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I did that all right?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
All right, I had to.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Maybe I'm an edited that mess on out, y'all. Welcome
to you Got Decisions. I'm your girl man DV. And
it's another episode where we're giving you advice this week.
Actually we are responding to someone who sends us an
update which I love and to help me out with
their dilemma. This go around, I am joined by Asante,
(00:56):
one third of the friend Zone.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
When can they listen to the Friends.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
The friend Zone comes out Wednesdays of every week potentially
on pall.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
We actually are on Patriots, were on all streaming platforms, Spotify, SoundCloud.
The friend Zone Podcasts is what we're called. If you
go to patreon dot com slash Friendszone Podcasts, you will
get premium content from us. You will actually get to
see what we look like. We are on social media's
You can find us on social media.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Can you not stand fifty years old?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
We are all the social media on the socials.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Just google the friend Zone podcast. You will find all
of our socials. It's low variations everywhere, but we out there. Okay,
but I'm at hey Sante. Just look me up and
you will find the friend Zone podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Carry it And if you guys want to send us
an email to get advice from us, you can email
us Decisions Pod at Gmail dot calm. Or if you
enjoy voicemails like I'm gonna play today, you guys can
join me over on Patreon as patreon dot com backslash
(01:58):
Horrible Decisions and you can leave us a voicemail at
nine seven three nine three two zero two sel Before
we get.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
To this voicemail.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Oh, y'all already know, I'm reading y'all's reviews from Amazon,
and it would help us deeply for you guys to
leave us a review. Head on over to Amazon orgodreads
dot com and leave us a review if you have
enjoyed our book. So I'm reading this one this week
from Let's get this from Kanaya.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
So this comes from Kanaya.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
She rated us five Storrs and said the girls on
New York Times Bestsellers for a reason hunt first and foremost.
Thanks thanks Mandy and Wheezy for being so open with
personal events.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I'm so happy to have fully.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Read this book. I learned a lot and the book
was amazing. And I'm not even a reader. I read
this in three point five days. I couldn't put it
down since I started, and I was blessed to go
to a book signing and get Mind signed.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Kanaya, thank you so so, so, so so.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Much, and thank everyone who supported us and becoming a
New York Times bestseller.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Also, if you haven't yet, get no holds barred.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
And if you're not a reader like Kanaya, the audiobook
is available, and bitch, it was the hardest thing I
ever did.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
So go and get that guy.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
We narrated that ship. Let me tell you, a bitch
was burping. A bitch realized I don't read out loud
very much. I was like, no, how do you say this?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Do you know how long the audiobook is?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Ten hours?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
We kind of wrote a little bit, so the audio
big is like ten hours. You can get it wherever
you listen to audiobooks. I think it's also on Spotify
and shit now, but yeah, make sure you get that.
And I am looking to do some sort of element
of going deep diving into each of my chapters, but
(03:49):
I may do that over on Selective Ignorance because bitch,
I talk about how ignorant I was so much throughout
my process of growing up and learning myself worth and
all things. So y'all might have to slide over to
Selective Ignorance to check that out. And if you haven't
yet subscribed, I have another podcast, myself Selective Ignorance Podcast
(04:10):
now on the Block Effect Network. All right, well this
one is a catchup, so that's not that I'm going
to catch you up. Y'all may remember this basically, this
was an episode I did with Eden where she called
in and she saw in his medicine cabinet.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
That he had prep okay, and.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
He kind of said that he was giving them to
his friends.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
That was his excuse for PREP. Now, y'all, that was just.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Like, what what does that mean?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Now?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Giving them to your friends? And that's where I was like,
maybe he's embarrassed to be on PREP. And there's a
few reasons, right, especially if you live in a city
like Atlanta, I get that if you are side, even me,
I wanted to get on PREP side. They talked about
it because i'd be a sex clubs and sometimes I
have sex with people who I don't know their whole
you know.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Sexual history.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
So we went into Okay, he could be hiding his
sexuality or he could just.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Be literally uh or just yeah, or.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Just like being being safe because he'd be outside. Right,
So this is now getting into the ketchup after our
our advice.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Okay, okay, well what was the advice?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I just told her, if.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
He's lying, maybe you haven't created the safe space for him.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
But also PREP could mean he is, you know, not straight.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Would you consider And by the way, I'm aware PREP
could be for.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Many things, It's not just for gas.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
But I was just like, you have to decide is
that something you would be you would have a problem with,
like if he chose to be honest with you about
what type of saff he's having outside of y'all, because.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
There are gay men that won't take PREP.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
What do you wait?
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
See why you see how I didn't land where you thought?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Oh wait, yeah, no you didn't know because when you
first said, uh, he could be taking PREP, because he's
not ready to reveal sexuality or something like that. They
are gay men that won't take PREP because they don't
want to accept that. Like that's part of like the thing,
like they're like, oh, by taking prepace normalizing that I'm
having sex for you know, STD protection, but I'm not
having sex for that anyway. I'm having for love or
(06:30):
it's supposed to.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Oh wow, you.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Look like I'm targeted.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
I'm a homosexual because I'm taking this medication when I'm
not even sexually active.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
So there are stigmas.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
What are these conversations then around PREP in the gay community.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
There's there's too many.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Well it's I mean it was made you know, allegedly
for the games or the.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Games which I love now like and we've been talking
with Gilliad Sciences and they like we were at Black
Women's Health Imperative Essence, and the conversation now is.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
That PREPA is forever.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
The conversations did start with the gay community, specific with
black gay men, and so it went from black gay
men or we're either going to take this to use
it as a preventative function, or we're taking this just
because it'll give me another.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Reason, or she use to have raw sex.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
So when people are like, okay, well you know, PREP
is only preventing or protecting from one thing STDs. So
then it became this thing for some gays like all right,
well if I'm not even sexually active, why should I
be taking it? And then others were like, well, you
should just be taking it just to have, And then
there was a thing of well you shouldn't take it
because the government is trying to infect you with that
little bit of it to keep you so many internal
(07:39):
homophobic or internal homosexual issues that when it came it
became like a straight thing for people to start talking
about PREP. I'm like, everybody should just take because everybody,
fuck it.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I understand everybody.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
It doesn't matter, gay, straight, whatever, but there is something
to be said about not being sexually active and just
taking like uh, birth control or things like that when
you're not even.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Sexual and you're not even sec Well it's crazy too,
because they use birth control now for a lot of
hormonal imbalances for women. So if you have pcos, they'll
subscribe you birth control. If you have endometriosis or certain fibroids,
they'll literally subscribe you, prescribe you. Look if you subscribed, subscribe,
they'll prescribe you these because yeah, birth and there's nothing
(08:22):
wrong with it. But when it comes to PREP, yeah,
there's still this stigma around it.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
We'll try to normalize it. And it just came out
with a shot twice a year.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I'm about to get on it because.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Don't nobody want to take a pill every day?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
And if you can't take a pill every day, maybe
you take your flist phones bottomins.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah maybe so maybe you, maybe you could do it.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
But for me when I saw that, now it's two
shots a year, every six months, and mind you before
you take the shot, kind of like with PREP, so
PREP you can get three month prescriptions from like your
planned parenthood or any We actually just drove past a
prep walking center here, so we're in a point it
out to you when when when we leave here, I'm
(09:02):
over on what.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Is the studio? I just sat a little studio where
it's that well to me, it's more like.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Well in Atlanta, I'm over off Josephi Lowry on the
West End. They're not gonna come right, but yeah, if
you want to walk into there's a literally prep walking
clinic right over here in this area.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
You know, go get it.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You're using prep, you still need to have to get tested.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
So that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
You they test you before they give you your next prescription.
So every three months when you have to re up,
or if you get on this shot, every six months,
you're gonna have to take an HIV test before they
But to me, what I'm hoping it does is it
normalizes even people just talking about when was the last
time you got tested?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (09:49):
And again because you're getting tested to see your other
ship too. Hello, so a you know, because it's like, oh,
well why am I getting tested if the prep works?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Because ship there's other ship.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Like hey, there's the chance that it might not work.
So it was like, hey girl, you weren't taking your
ship right, So now you got x Y.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
You know, people people hunching so unprotected now, nigga, these
chlamydias got different, like turning into different Shiit Saverian because
like the Tobe, she's crazy. Well, all right, this is
Brianna and I'm gonna go ahead and give her the
(10:29):
update on what's happened since we gave her that advice.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
Him and Ed Insight I just listened to I'm Brianna
from uh seven whenever. But I was just listening to
decisions decisions that you chose my voicemail. But I did
want to say thank you, and we did share results
after that conversation. And also yes, here is fucking.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
Other women, but from yes.
Speaker 6 (10:59):
I said, like phone one day, you know whatever, they
they do use contexts from what I saw.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
But also I have asked him for MMS three songs
and he said no, but this is that was like
a while ago. But then one day I was tough,
like I was talking about my ex and then he
was like, he was like, show me a video of
(11:29):
your second another nigga stick and I was like, okay,
I didn't mind showings like it, and he just like
got so off and then he was like.
Speaker 6 (11:39):
I love to see you taking dick from another nigga.
I'm like, so what happened to you not sucking with
But anyway, I like if he was ended up bisexual,
that'd be something new to me. But I have like
a fantasy situ in my head she diggs whatever, but
(12:05):
I don't know. And then also he did show me
his medicine cabinet and then I went to suit. He
literally showed me like showed me and then. But other
than that, me and him, it is a situationship. I
(12:27):
might like him a little bit, but I don't see
a future with him. I'm just he's just something to
do while there's nothing else to do. But yeah, thank you.
I just wanted to say that I would leave a comment,
but it's not anonymous, so oh sorry.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
So this is interesting to me and I just wanted
to have this conversation, especially with you, because clearly she's
to me, she is conflating sexuality with a sexual thing.
Like to me, maybe he enjoys being cuckolded.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
That doesn't mean I like to think about a period.
He might be a cut.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Do you know how many niggas I have in my
phone that love to like watch me engage with sex
or do anything with other men, but they never want
to be in the room with another man?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Does it always mean cooke though?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I mean that's the thing we like to look like label.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Though, because in my mind I'm thinking like maybe he
just wants to watch or like like you know, niggas
watch porn. But also so like he knows you or
is familiar with you, so maybe he just like watch you.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
But also I wonder if he asked that, because she
said he did admit he's fucking under other women, right,
and he's using a condom from what I could see,
So I wonder if he recorded a video fucking another woman.
She was able to visibly see the condom. And so
now that he shared videos from.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
What I have been from what I see, But is
it from or is it is it from a text
message she saw?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Like, Oh, they're kind of okay, You're right, you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
But to me, we have both the different delusions filled
in which is funny.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
I love that, but also right, it could be now
that you're aware that he's fucking other women, he may
be trying to create the safe space of letting it
be known it doesn't bother him that you are out
of your fucking other guy.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
And what that really does.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Is make it more of what you want. You kind
of like him, but you don't see it going anywhere.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
She's just something to do because she said she want
a threesomeere but he might not want that.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
He might just he might just like watching you, like
just because he likes watching you engage in sex with
someone else, he wants to engage with the men.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Doesn't mean he even wants to be in the road.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
To me, you sending him a video of you.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Sucking another another niggasick boy.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I hope the advertisers don't listen to this.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
One could could just be the same way he enjoys
watching porn, and so him just visually seeing someone he's
already attracted to that he knows what that mouth do.
Maybe he just enjoys watching you in that porn aesthetic,
not that he want to partake in anything with you
(15:10):
and another man. And clearly you have this fantasy.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You need to get your own MMF fantasy off.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Maybe go get that off and maybe without him. I
would say the fact that you're even saying even if
he ended up bisexual, I feel like it's kind.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Of like you're trying to turn him out. Girl.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, But to me, I.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Think even if you bring up say this fantasy again
with him, especially now that you're showing I think one
of the ways to push him away from this is
to try to identify him. Don't try to tell him
what his sexuality is. And I think you trying to
put that bisexual label on him could make him not
interested in doing anything like baby baby steps.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Y'all probably not gonna be together anyway. You said, he
just something to do when there's nothing to do.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Maybe you just keep it as it and you just
have William and like Asante said, find find two other
niggas to have your MMF experience.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Maybe it's hard.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
It is.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I've been trying. It's hard.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
But there are people I look, maybe I've been trying
niggas that will be like, I know, gay man will
be like, would it be weird for me to say, well,
he's a pussy right now. I'm like, listen, there's some
girls out there that they already be knowing what's up.
They just looking for the one to be like, well, shit,
as long as I can leave the next day or whatever.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
There are people.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
There's somebody for everybody, no matter how temperate the situation is.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Carry every sort of formation.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
So I think old girl is a freak and she
needs to be freaky decky by her loansome and she
wants to run the conversation by old boy once more
time to see if like, hey, you trying to do
this MMF thing.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
He's like nah, They be like all right.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Cool, move on, but I ain't gonna hold you. He
I think he just is freaky decky.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
He is, but they're not having the right conversation with
what they really want.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
They're not They're not.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
That's I will say, kudos to him for being on prep,
kudos to him for being open with even his own desires.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
And then what I always say too.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
About us as black women, like it's important to create
that safe space. So him even saying, hey, I would
be turned on by watching you suck another nigga dick,
creating a safe space doesn't look like trying to now
label hand sexuality, So you're bisexual.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Don't do that. Don't do that?
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Do you don't how many niggas I I'm over and
paid and they say they are hetero straight men and
I be all up in able to haul. I let
them identify it as straight. They could be fucking trans
women they straight. Let people identify however they want to identify.
I told you the story when we wrote the book.
The bitch didn't want to say I was bisexual identified
(17:43):
as bisexual in the book. The editor was like, you
don't seem all of your advice seems to come from
a hetero like like like.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Viewpoint and I was like, bitch, I e kuchi, I'm bisexual.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
What does we talking about?
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Sorry that I don't date women, but I fuck them.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
You know.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
So Anyhow, that's one of the ways we as women
can show up and create those safe spaces, is not
by sitting here trying to label what a man is
sexually based on what he may be into.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Let him do that here here, Let him do it period.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
If you guys want us to give you all advice
or just read you for Phil, send us your emails
Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. We will read it here,
or you can send us a voicemail Mandy on the
hotline over on Patreon ninety seven three ninety three two
zero two to sale, and again make sure you leave
(18:38):
your reviews on Amazon Audio Book No holds bard And
if you get sick of hearing my voice the friend Zone,
where can they listen to the friend Zone of Siante.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
The friend Zone podcast is on all streaming platforms, but
if you want to find us on social media, just
come to mind and I'll send you over there. I'm
at Hey sciante h E y A, S, S and
te And that's it. For me, I usually end an
episode by saying, stay black. I can protect your magic,
so I'll hope you do.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
So Currie, see you on next week.
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throatfle.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Guess what you've got decisions?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
It's hot day, bitches.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
If you got decisions, it maybe be with my friend ASANTI.
I tried, I tried, I tried no oh, because I
said hey and I went aste.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I did that all right?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
All right, I had to.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Maybe I'm an edited that mess on out, y'all. Welcome
to you Got Decisions. I'm your girl man DV. And
it's another episode where we're giving you advice this week.
Actually we are responding to someone who sends us an
update which I love and to help me out with
their dilemma. This go around, I am joined by Asante,
(00:56):
one third of the friend Zone.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
When can they listen to the Friends.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
The friend Zone comes out Wednesdays of every week potentially
on pall.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
We actually are on Patriots, were on all streaming platforms, Spotify, SoundCloud.
The friend Zone Podcasts is what we're called. If you
go to patreon dot com slash Friendszone Podcasts, you will
get premium content from us. You will actually get to
see what we look like. We are on social media's
You can find us on social media.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Can you not stand fifty years old?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
We are all the social media on the socials.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Just google the friend Zone podcast. You will find all
of our socials. It's low variations everywhere, but we out there. Okay,
but I'm at hey Sante. Just look me up and
you will find the friend Zone podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Carry it And if you guys want to send us
an email to get advice from us, you can email
us Decisions Pod at Gmail dot calm. Or if you
enjoy voicemails like I'm gonna play today, you guys can
join me over on Patreon as patreon dot com backslash
(01:58):
Horrible Decisions and you can leave us a voicemail at
nine seven three nine three two zero two sel Before
we get.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
To this voicemail.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Oh, y'all already know, I'm reading y'all's reviews from Amazon,
and it would help us deeply for you guys to
leave us a review. Head on over to Amazon orgodreads
dot com and leave us a review if you have
enjoyed our book. So I'm reading this one this week
from Let's get this from Kanaya.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
So this comes from Kanaya.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
She rated us five Storrs and said the girls on
New York Times Bestsellers for a reason hunt first and foremost.
Thanks thanks Mandy and Wheezy for being so open with
personal events.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I'm so happy to have fully.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Read this book. I learned a lot and the book
was amazing. And I'm not even a reader. I read
this in three point five days. I couldn't put it
down since I started, and I was blessed to go
to a book signing and get Mind signed.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Kanaya, thank you so so, so, so so.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Much, and thank everyone who supported us and becoming a
New York Times bestseller.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Also, if you haven't yet, get no holds barred.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
And if you're not a reader like Kanaya, the audiobook
is available, and bitch, it was the hardest thing I
ever did.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
So go and get that guy.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
We narrated that ship. Let me tell you, a bitch
was burping. A bitch realized I don't read out loud
very much. I was like, no, how do you say this?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Do you know how long the audiobook is?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Ten hours?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
We kind of wrote a little bit, so the audio
big is like ten hours. You can get it wherever
you listen to audiobooks. I think it's also on Spotify
and shit now, but yeah, make sure you get that.
And I am looking to do some sort of element
of going deep diving into each of my chapters, but
(03:49):
I may do that over on Selective Ignorance because bitch,
I talk about how ignorant I was so much throughout
my process of growing up and learning myself worth and
all things. So y'all might have to slide over to
Selective Ignorance to check that out. And if you haven't
yet subscribed, I have another podcast, myself Selective Ignorance Podcast
(04:10):
now on the Block Effect Network. All right, well this
one is a catchup, so that's not that I'm going
to catch you up. Y'all may remember this basically, this
was an episode I did with Eden where she called
in and she saw in his medicine cabinet.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
That he had prep okay, and.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
He kind of said that he was giving them to
his friends.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
That was his excuse for PREP. Now, y'all, that was just.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Like, what what does that mean?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Now?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Giving them to your friends? And that's where I was like,
maybe he's embarrassed to be on PREP. And there's a
few reasons, right, especially if you live in a city
like Atlanta, I get that if you are side, even me,
I wanted to get on PREP side. They talked about
it because i'd be a sex clubs and sometimes I
have sex with people who I don't know their whole
you know.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Sexual history.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
So we went into Okay, he could be hiding his
sexuality or he could just.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Be literally uh or just yeah, or.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Just like being being safe because he'd be outside. Right,
So this is now getting into the ketchup after our
our advice.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Okay, okay, well what was the advice?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I just told her, if.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
He's lying, maybe you haven't created the safe space for him.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
But also PREP could mean he is, you know, not straight.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Would you consider And by the way, I'm aware PREP
could be for.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Many things, It's not just for gas.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
But I was just like, you have to decide is
that something you would be you would have a problem with,
like if he chose to be honest with you about
what type of saff he's having outside of y'all, because.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
There are gay men that won't take PREP.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
What do you wait?
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
See why you see how I didn't land where you thought?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Oh wait, yeah, no you didn't know because when you
first said, uh, he could be taking PREP, because he's
not ready to reveal sexuality or something like that. They
are gay men that won't take PREP because they don't
want to accept that. Like that's part of like the thing,
like they're like, oh, by taking prepace normalizing that I'm
having sex for you know, STD protection, but I'm not
having sex for that anyway. I'm having for love or
(06:30):
it's supposed to.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Oh wow, you.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Look like I'm targeted.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
I'm a homosexual because I'm taking this medication when I'm
not even sexually active.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
So there are stigmas.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
What are these conversations then around PREP in the gay community.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
There's there's too many.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Well it's I mean it was made you know, allegedly
for the games or the.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Games which I love now like and we've been talking
with Gilliad Sciences and they like we were at Black
Women's Health Imperative Essence, and the conversation now is.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
That PREPA is forever.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
The conversations did start with the gay community, specific with
black gay men, and so it went from black gay
men or we're either going to take this to use
it as a preventative function, or we're taking this just
because it'll give me another.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Reason, or she use to have raw sex.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
So when people are like, okay, well you know, PREP
is only preventing or protecting from one thing STDs. So
then it became this thing for some gays like all right,
well if I'm not even sexually active, why should I
be taking it? And then others were like, well, you
should just be taking it just to have, And then
there was a thing of well you shouldn't take it
because the government is trying to infect you with that
little bit of it to keep you so many internal
(07:39):
homophobic or internal homosexual issues that when it came it
became like a straight thing for people to start talking
about PREP. I'm like, everybody should just take because everybody,
fuck it.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I understand everybody.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
It doesn't matter, gay, straight, whatever, but there is something
to be said about not being sexually active and just
taking like uh, birth control or things like that when
you're not even.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Sexual and you're not even sec Well it's crazy too,
because they use birth control now for a lot of
hormonal imbalances for women. So if you have pcos, they'll
subscribe you birth control. If you have endometriosis or certain fibroids,
they'll literally subscribe you, prescribe you. Look if you subscribed, subscribe,
they'll prescribe you these because yeah, birth and there's nothing
(08:22):
wrong with it. But when it comes to PREP, yeah,
there's still this stigma around it.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
We'll try to normalize it. And it just came out
with a shot twice a year.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I'm about to get on it because.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Don't nobody want to take a pill every day?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
And if you can't take a pill every day, maybe
you take your flist phones bottomins.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah maybe so maybe you, maybe you could do it.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
But for me when I saw that, now it's two
shots a year, every six months, and mind you before
you take the shot, kind of like with PREP, so
PREP you can get three month prescriptions from like your
planned parenthood or any We actually just drove past a
prep walking center here, so we're in a point it
out to you when when when we leave here, I'm
(09:02):
over on what.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Is the studio? I just sat a little studio where
it's that well to me, it's more like.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Well in Atlanta, I'm over off Josephi Lowry on the
West End. They're not gonna come right, but yeah, if
you want to walk into there's a literally prep walking
clinic right over here in this area.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
You know, go get it.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You're using prep, you still need to have to get tested.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
So that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
You they test you before they give you your next prescription.
So every three months when you have to re up,
or if you get on this shot, every six months,
you're gonna have to take an HIV test before they
But to me, what I'm hoping it does is it
normalizes even people just talking about when was the last
time you got tested?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (09:49):
And again because you're getting tested to see your other
ship too. Hello, so a you know, because it's like, oh,
well why am I getting tested if the prep works?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Because ship there's other ship.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Like hey, there's the chance that it might not work.
So it was like, hey girl, you weren't taking your
ship right, So now you got x Y.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
You know, people people hunching so unprotected now, nigga, these
chlamydias got different, like turning into different Shiit Saverian because
like the Tobe, she's crazy. Well, all right, this is
Brianna and I'm gonna go ahead and give her the
(10:29):
update on what's happened since we gave her that advice.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
Him and Ed Insight I just listened to I'm Brianna
from uh seven whenever. But I was just listening to
decisions decisions that you chose my voicemail. But I did
want to say thank you, and we did share results
after that conversation. And also yes, here is fucking.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
Other women, but from yes.
Speaker 6 (10:59):
I said, like phone one day, you know whatever, they
they do use contexts from what I saw.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
But also I have asked him for MMS three songs
and he said no, but this is that was like
a while ago. But then one day I was tough,
like I was talking about my ex and then he
was like, he was like, show me a video of
(11:29):
your second another nigga stick and I was like, okay,
I didn't mind showings like it, and he just like
got so off and then he was like.
Speaker 6 (11:39):
I love to see you taking dick from another nigga.
I'm like, so what happened to you not sucking with
But anyway, I like if he was ended up bisexual,
that'd be something new to me. But I have like
a fantasy situ in my head she diggs whatever, but
(12:05):
I don't know. And then also he did show me
his medicine cabinet and then I went to suit. He
literally showed me like showed me and then. But other
than that, me and him, it is a situationship. I
(12:27):
might like him a little bit, but I don't see
a future with him. I'm just he's just something to
do while there's nothing else to do. But yeah, thank you.
I just wanted to say that I would leave a comment,
but it's not anonymous, so oh sorry.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
So this is interesting to me and I just wanted
to have this conversation, especially with you, because clearly she's
to me, she is conflating sexuality with a sexual thing.
Like to me, maybe he enjoys being cuckolded.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
That doesn't mean I like to think about a period.
He might be a cut.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Do you know how many niggas I have in my
phone that love to like watch me engage with sex
or do anything with other men, but they never want
to be in the room with another man?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Does it always mean cooke though?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I mean that's the thing we like to look like label.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Though, because in my mind I'm thinking like maybe he
just wants to watch or like like you know, niggas
watch porn. But also so like he knows you or
is familiar with you, so maybe he just like watch you.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
But also I wonder if he asked that, because she
said he did admit he's fucking under other women, right,
and he's using a condom from what I could see,
So I wonder if he recorded a video fucking another woman.
She was able to visibly see the condom. And so
now that he shared videos from.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
What I have been from what I see, But is
it from or is it is it from a text
message she saw?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Like, Oh, they're kind of okay, You're right, you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
But to me, we have both the different delusions filled
in which is funny.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
I love that, but also right, it could be now
that you're aware that he's fucking other women, he may
be trying to create the safe space of letting it
be known it doesn't bother him that you are out
of your fucking other guy.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
And what that really does.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Is make it more of what you want. You kind
of like him, but you don't see it going anywhere.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
She's just something to do because she said she want
a threesomeere but he might not want that.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
He might just he might just like watching you, like
just because he likes watching you engage in sex with
someone else, he wants to engage with the men.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Doesn't mean he even wants to be in the road.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
To me, you sending him a video of you.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Sucking another another niggasick boy.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I hope the advertisers don't listen to this.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
One could could just be the same way he enjoys
watching porn, and so him just visually seeing someone he's
already attracted to that he knows what that mouth do.
Maybe he just enjoys watching you in that porn aesthetic,
not that he want to partake in anything with you
(15:10):
and another man. And clearly you have this fantasy.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You need to get your own MMF fantasy off.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Maybe go get that off and maybe without him. I
would say the fact that you're even saying even if
he ended up bisexual, I feel like it's kind.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Of like you're trying to turn him out. Girl.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, But to me, I.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Think even if you bring up say this fantasy again
with him, especially now that you're showing I think one
of the ways to push him away from this is
to try to identify him. Don't try to tell him
what his sexuality is. And I think you trying to
put that bisexual label on him could make him not
interested in doing anything like baby baby steps.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Y'all probably not gonna be together anyway. You said, he
just something to do when there's nothing to do.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Maybe you just keep it as it and you just
have William and like Asante said, find find two other
niggas to have your MMF experience.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Maybe it's hard.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
It is.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I've been trying. It's hard.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
But there are people I look, maybe I've been trying
niggas that will be like, I know, gay man will
be like, would it be weird for me to say, well,
he's a pussy right now. I'm like, listen, there's some
girls out there that they already be knowing what's up.
They just looking for the one to be like, well, shit,
as long as I can leave the next day or whatever.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
There are people.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
There's somebody for everybody, no matter how temperate the situation is.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Carry every sort of formation.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
So I think old girl is a freak and she
needs to be freaky decky by her loansome and she
wants to run the conversation by old boy once more
time to see if like, hey, you trying to do
this MMF thing.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
He's like nah, They be like all right.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Cool, move on, but I ain't gonna hold you. He
I think he just is freaky decky.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
He is, but they're not having the right conversation with
what they really want.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
They're not They're not.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
That's I will say, kudos to him for being on prep,
kudos to him for being open with even his own desires.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
And then what I always say too.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
About us as black women, like it's important to create
that safe space. So him even saying, hey, I would
be turned on by watching you suck another nigga dick,
creating a safe space doesn't look like trying to now
label hand sexuality, So you're bisexual.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Don't do that. Don't do that?
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Do you don't how many niggas I I'm over and
paid and they say they are hetero straight men and
I be all up in able to haul. I let
them identify it as straight. They could be fucking trans
women they straight. Let people identify however they want to identify.
I told you the story when we wrote the book.
The bitch didn't want to say I was bisexual identified
(17:43):
as bisexual in the book. The editor was like, you
don't seem all of your advice seems to come from
a hetero like like like.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Viewpoint and I was like, bitch, I e kuchi, I'm bisexual.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
What does we talking about?
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Sorry that I don't date women, but I fuck them.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
You know.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
So Anyhow, that's one of the ways we as women
can show up and create those safe spaces, is not
by sitting here trying to label what a man is
sexually based on what he may be into.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Let him do that here here, Let him do it period.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
If you guys want us to give you all advice
or just read you for Phil, send us your emails
Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. We will read it here,
or you can send us a voicemail Mandy on the
hotline over on Patreon ninety seven three ninety three two
zero two to sale, and again make sure you leave
(18:38):
your reviews on Amazon Audio Book No holds bard And
if you get sick of hearing my voice the friend Zone,
where can they listen to the friend Zone of Siante.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
The friend Zone podcast is on all streaming platforms, but
if you want to find us on social media, just
come to mind and I'll send you over there. I'm
at Hey sciante h E y A, S, S and
te And that's it. For me, I usually end an
episode by saying, stay black. I can protect your magic,
so I'll hope you do.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
So Currie, see you on next week.
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