December 24, 2025 • 29 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, navy girl, a long time listener, I had like
a two carter question. So right now I am twenty
five and I am a virgeon. I know, and I
will can change the show, but I think I want
to change it for you any hits now and all
film because I am twenty five young.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Admit I kind of want to know where this niggas at.
How to get shipped out of fly out.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I know that you're in additional space now of loving
and companionships and wanting niggas to take off the trash,
But how do I do that thing that you were
having and you were twenty five, like the fly outs
the middle of page, because right now a bro is
working and I'm not really trying to that hard.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
All right, thank you so much, And yeah you go
in horrible y'all.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Now this is this is crazy. By the way, it's
fine that virgins listen to us. We talk a lot
more than just sex. And it's entertainment, you.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Like I watch movies, you know where niggas is jumping
out of planes and ain't never jumped out of a plane.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
If I like, it's fine, this is entertainment.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Okay, So two part question, and I'm gonna break it
into two parts, because first off, I want to talk
to you about being twenty five and being a virgin.
You said you want to change being a virgin. That's
the first part. I think the word intentional is going
(01:26):
to be used here as well. However, I want to
just tell you and and ladies listen and please let
me know in the comments.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
If I'm being too harsh.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I don't think there's a right or perfect way to
lose your virginity.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
It could be with a longtime boyfriend, but then maybe
y'all break up. It could be with a long.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Standing crush like my first was my grade school crush,
and I was bright in his hair and then he
ended up getting inside of me while my mama was
at why crazy. I don't think there's a perfect way
to lose it. However, I think as a woman with
the choice and knowing as much as we know now,
(02:11):
with consent and all those things, I would just say,
when you are ready to make it the most damn
that word intentional, bitch. I'm about to look up at
the source for another word intentional, but I think it
needs to be discussed with the person.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think that you need.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
To make sure that they are aware that this is
your first time, and hopefully they're loving and caring and
show you that grace that is I think oftentimes stripped
from women in giving up their virginity to a man.
And don't feel the pressure. I mean, I know you
(02:50):
listen to the show. I know you hear Hella. People
having fun and sex is amazing. Girl.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
The first couple years of sexy, I was just figured
it out.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I don't know, if I look back, I wasn't having
great sex. So just know it is going to take
you a while to learn yourself, your body, what you like,
what you don't like, being comfortable, being secure, not worrying
about if one titty.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Is over here and the other is down there, or.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
How you how how your role may look to them,
or I'm not gonna lie. There's so many things that
aren't discussed about giving your body and yourself to someone
else in the moment that it's It's just gonna take
some time. So, like I said, I would say, be
intentional and make sure the person that you give this
part of you too is not only deserving, but is
(03:42):
aware that this is what this moment.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Is and hopefully they're a partner.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I don't believe you are in a relationship because if
the second part of this question, now the second part
of this question. So this was my hardest chapter two
write in our book. This is the part of the
podcast that I have the most shame. This is the
(04:14):
topic of discussion that took Wheezy and I close to
a year to even agree on this book for because
she felt that it would be contradictory to the brand
of horrible.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Decisions to have shame.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
And I was like, no, bro, I'm in therapy and
I'm realizing this.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
This is tough for me.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Like I was out hell fucking for the five hondo,
for a stack, for a pair of genus, for the
cost of a tomahawk statement like and I knowing now
my my self worth my value, and like that, I
(05:02):
am upset a bit at this letter asking from a
virgin not only how to lose their virginity, but in
the same breath, how to be a prostitute. And that's
essentially what this is. That's essentially what I was doing.
I was involving myself in a form of sex work
(05:25):
by using my body as a form of currency.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
In exchange for flights in exchange for money, in.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Exchange for moments, and in becoming someone of a value
who's busted her ass to do and be able to
live how she wants.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
To know that I have purchased a pair of genes.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
That is hanging in my closet that I ain't even
worn yet because that money meant nothing, and to know
that that was the price tag on my pussy at
one point is crazy.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
This I've reworked. I don't think you guys realize that.
In this book coming up, I have a chapter on
sexual assault, on abortion, on my ex on.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
There's a lot of deep.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Trauma that I put into this book, and this topic.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Brought the most tears.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Was the very last chapter for me to write, because
as I would go and start writing it, I would
feel shamed, like I was full of shame. I'm still
currently working past what my twenties was and what sex
was for me and what that relationship with men entailed,
And so at thirty three, I'm not going to advise
(06:49):
any woman to be out here.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Selling couchie if they don't have to. Like I was.
I was.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
It was survival sex for me, and I definitely spoke
about it. On this podcast, like it was lavish, Like bitch,
if my nigga ain't.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Dropping no bag, he ain't.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
But really, Mitch, I had bills to bay, and between
all the jobs I was working and my fucking Sally
May loans and financial aid, I was making it.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
And I use.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
That as a form to just fucking make it and
looking back at it now and having a different view
on what money is or what that comma looks like,
or the difference between a thousand and ten thousand and
ten thousand and fifty thousand and like I've made in
one weekend what back in my twenties took me a
(07:42):
year to make working forty hour weeks, and so like
just my mind has changed on what that looks like.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
My mind on sex has changed.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
My mind on intimacy and the importance of affection and
connection with a person has changed. And so this is
actually where we have tons of sex workers come on
the podcast and talk about their journey. My only advice
for you would be to listen back to those episodes.
I am not in a place where I condone a
(08:15):
woman doing it just to pay bills and blown out.
Get you a man with money who values you, who
wants you to see the world. That's what I would say,
be intentional with maybe the caliber of men that you
choose to date or who pursues you, and in doing so,
let them know you're seeking affection, you're seeking love, You're
(08:36):
seeking someone who cares for you and you'd love to
see the world. I think a man that loves and
values you or really fucks with you wants to make
you happy. So if the things you want are assistance
with bills or to go to an island you've never
been to, the way to do that is to vocalize
that in a healthy relationship, in a setting with a
(09:00):
man that wants nothing.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
To do but to put a smile on your face.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,
But why it's up there? Tap in for the full,
uncut and way nastier episodes over on Patreon. Go to
patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy,
t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else.
(09:24):
And now here's You've got decision.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend or
a terrible throatful guess what You've got decisions.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
You've got decisions, baby. Hey, guys, welcome to another you
got decisions on a motherfucking hump day.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
And actually, let me look, this is the hump day.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right before Krema.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
So Marry Christmas Eve, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy be
Holidays to the Whorehive and everybody else tuned in hope
that you guys are enjoying your holidays, enjoying your family
and baby, enjoying your time off.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
If you have it off. If you want to.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
See what I'm doing, I am currently ocean side and
curous out because that's what you get when you don't.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Got the kids.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Okay, it is the end of the year, and we
are so grateful that you guys have rocked with us
and enjoyed all of our new content, our name change,
our rebrand, our New York Times bestselling book this year.
And it has been a fucking roller coaster in twenty
twenty five. And so what I wanted to make sure
(10:49):
I brought to you this week for the you Got
Decisions is some chaos, some drama, a reminder that even
though it's the end of the year, y'all are going
going into the new year still with.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Some bullshit on some bullshit and not really knowing how
to navigate it.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
I think it's funny because this is normally the time
of year where you be like, new Year next week,
knew me. No, girl, you can't change it that quick, No, sire,
you still gonna be the fuck nigga you've been in
twenty twenty five. Although we hope that you guys want
better for yourselves now, Weezy is not doing this with
(11:27):
me today because maybe our schedules. I was just like,
let me get this out, and this one specifically, I
felt like, you know, it's talking about developing a crush
for a married man, and well, I've been getting dragged
all week for being honest about my stint of dealing
with married men, and so I was like, fuck it,
(11:51):
let me answer this shit while these niggas in my
motherfucking comments saying all the bullshit that they can about me.
By the way, if you want to listen to me
talk about that recently and why I will no longer
deal with a married man, go check out my interview
on Love and Fly Shit podcast. Anyways, really excited to
get into this letter this week. Hopefully again you guys
(12:13):
are joining enjoying your time off or if you're at
the office, Here we go constantly giving you pul says
holds some content.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Now here we go.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
By the way, we received this message just last week,
so this is.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
A new dilemma.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
The subject line reads, I'm developing a crush on a
married man. But hear me out, longtime listener and patron
living in fos seven Choppa City. Brah blah brah, love
y'all down. Okay, So I recently met this guy on
a store run. He was super handsome, had an accent, six'
(12:51):
three and a beautiful. Smile he asked me for my
number AND i said. Yes we started talking regularly. Instantly
it was as if SOMEONE i knew for a, while
even though we just. Met we went on a couple
of dates and On thanksgiving night we fucked and it was,
amazing like, freaky, nasty, spanking spitting dirty talk all over my, body,
(13:18):
kisses choked me WHILE i was giving head a personal,
frave and he ate my pussy off the bone hashtag.
Tenderism so after that we run it back the next day,
too but after that next day he tells me has
something to tell.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Me my stomach drops and he said he's.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Married, like damn, Nigga Now i'm already hooked on the.
Dick he, explained when he moved To america from The,
bahamas he got in some legal, troubles so to avoid,
deportation he got. Married, Okay i'm gonna have to look
this up on CHAT, gpt but here me out because
(14:02):
deported to The.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Bahamas, Okay i'm gonna. Okay he, said.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
They both do their quote unquote own thing and they
don't have. Sex, however he kind of loved it at.
That now my immediate reaction, was what the? FUCK i
don't know HOW i feel about being a side.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Chick but after.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Talking to my, homegirl she was, like, Girl caribbean niggas
have green cards marriages all the, time especially here In.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Florida not gonna, Lie she rationalized it enough for.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Me we still, fuck but he never spends the, night
WHICH i want him, to especially after being. Intimate we
go out in public a, lot and he's publicly affectionate towards,
me but still having this nagging. Suspicion he's left some
pieces of this story out and Now i'm starting to
like this man a little bit more than just.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
SEX i know it won't be anything.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Serious i've already accepted that AND i don't want that.
Either but SHOULD i just cut this off or play
my role and? Compartmentalize oh, baby we got some things
to break down. Here first, Off i'm going to my
husband going to check spinning a couple purified water droplets
(15:19):
on researching. This do you need a green card if
you're from The? Bahamas and can you be deported back
to The? Bahamas, Now i'm only asking this because The
bahamas IS i believe it's An american, Territory like you
(15:40):
can get to The bahamas without a passport to my,
knowledge and SO i want to check. That but before
while it looks that, up let's get into your other.
(16:01):
DILEMMA i do feel like you're lying to, yourself first,
off and let's get into. That hold, On i'm going
to ask my other check because one on my computer
run is.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Slow because it's.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Also interesting light NIGGA youa, yeah we'll, see.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay so let's get into WHERE i feel like you
are lying to.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Yourself first, off you have expressed how you are liking
him more than. Sex you literally admit that to, me
but then in the very next sentence, SAY i know
it won't be anything. Serious, however leading up to what
your friend said and what you're agreeing to is that
(16:42):
it's possible that he's not really in a marriage where
he is emotionally bounded to this, wife and so technically
it could be something serious as long as you don't
mind him legally being married to someone else only for
a quote unquote. Card you're also saying that you don't
(17:02):
want anything.
Speaker 5 (17:03):
More, however you like him more than. Sex make it makes?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Sense the math ain't, mathing AND i feel like you're
trying to make something like fit in your brain to
just continue seeing this.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
Person Now here we, go and, girl the internet is your.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Friend when a nigga tell you something and you just
feel like you're missing some, things, girl get your ass
on the. Internet here's the thing you. Ready you do
not need A us green card if you Have bahamian immigration.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Status? Okay?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Interesting apparently it, says hold, on do you need a
green card for The?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Bahamas But i'll here we? Go can you be? DEPORTED
i THINK i asked this question.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Wrong can you live in the us as a behave
mean citizen and can you be deported because this is
like if you, TRAVELING i just want to See, Okay,
(18:20):
okay okay, Girl, okay, okay he might Be, okay it's.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
True it's.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
True A bahamian citizen does need a green, card and
of course you become a permanent resident with the green
card through family, sponsorship, employment, marriage or certain other. Categories, okay,
okay so, bitch, listen y'all know geography is not my strongest.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Suit, okay so very.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
True here's my, thing here's my, thing and here's where
you have to make it make. Sense this man said
that he doesn't have sex with his, wife and they're
also able to do their own. Thing, however red flag
here is that he doesn't spend the night if they
(19:11):
are in this marriage.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Only for his green.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Card explain to me why he doesn't have the autonomy
to spend the night at your house if they're both
quote unquote doing their own. THING i think what you
should do is inquire about, that because WHAT i do
feel like you're getting here is the short end of the.
(19:35):
Stick if you're saying that you would like him to
spend the, night because you would like to spend more
time with, him especially after being. Intimate you're accepting just
the going out in public and public affection without the
private affection in terms of. Him, actually you, KNOW i
(19:57):
guess sleeping with you after?
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Y'all fuck?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Now Who your question, is SHOULD i cut this off
or play my role and?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Compartmentalize and this is where in going into.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Twenty twenty five and going into twenty twenty, six any
twenty twenty, FIVE i truly think that you have to
go into.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
What do you? Want what do you?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Want and what this sounds like is you would like,
More you really like this, person you would like a,
relationship but you've also already told yourself that you've accepted.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
That it won't be anything.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
More will you be fulfilled with what it is right?
Now with no milestones to reach of this going? Beyond
how how well are you with wasting your? Time because
if you are looking for something, more if you are
looking for a, family if you are looking to be
in a committed exclusive, relationlationship if you're looking to potentially
(21:02):
get married one, day how how much of your time
do you care that you waste with this? Man and
that's the compartmentalization of it all? Right is this man
open to you doing your own thing outside of? Him
has that been a, Conversation what has been the conversation
(21:23):
around whether he could spend the night or.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
NOT i think for as.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Much as you have been talking to, HIM i think
it's interesting how long it took you to find out his,
marriage which means there could be a lot of other
things you.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Don't know about this.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
MAN i think you could be dick blinded right. Now
dick blinded is a thing you gave me almost three
lines of what he did to you in that. Bedroom
bit you, throwed bit you ha throwed over the, Deck
and SO i think you have to actually sit with.
(21:56):
Yourself AND i think any woman listening to this you
catch yourself in at a crossroad with if you need
to compartmentalize your emotions and feelings and the time you
get with a man to feel like you're okay with,
it are you really and is this what you?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
WANT i think for the clip that's been.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Going viral lately about me admitting to be in a
side chick in my, TWENTIES i THINK i decided to
sit with, myself love myself first and decide WHAT i
would and wouldn't accept from a. Man and to, me
if you're wanting something that you can't, get you're. Settling
and is this the man you want to settle, with
(22:39):
because essentially you're not gonna get anything more than probably
what you're getting now with?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Him? Right would you be okay.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
With this relationship if he starts spending the night with?
You because then what else would you want after? That
is it only the not spending the? Night are you
asking him about how often you talking to him about
what his relationship with his wife looks?
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Like? Mitch why you can't spend the night if y'all not?
Together Like there's just.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
So many questions THAT i honestly feel like you're so
scared to ask because you do like him so. Much
and of, course as, women we fear that if we
ask somebody for too much that they're gonna leave.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Us is that a fear that you?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Have in twenty twenty, SIX i want women in these
complicated situationships to ask themselves how safe they really feel
with being with this. Person cool you safe enough for
him to eat yo pussy off the? Bone but are
you safe enough with him to question and ask for
(23:42):
the actual things that you want in the relationship because
if you, can't this man doesn't make you really feel.
Safe the fact that you're, asking SHOULD i cut him
off or play my role and? Compartmentalize are you willing
to play the side chick?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Role because you going.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
To your friend said your immediate reaction.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Was what the? FUCK i don't know HOW i feel.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
About being a side, chick which means you want to
be a, man which means you're looking for a. Relationship
you don't want to just quote unquote play your. Role
so Since i'm not gonna tell you to play a
role THAT i don't think you're comfortable with, Playing i'm
also not gonna tell you to compartmentalize and put your
feelings and your needs to the side in order to
have a nigga in your life who also wait until
(24:25):
after he got inside you to let you know that
he was. Married that's called. Manipulation that's called he wasn't
keeping it real with you before he put his dick
inside of you because he felt like that little detail
might keep him from getting what he. Wanted so are
you willing to make sure this nigga gets to move
and get everything he want out of? You and you
(24:47):
don't get what you want out of? Him or is
it just dick you? Want is it just a few
dates here and there that you. Want WHAT i am
going to say you, is don't sit here and put
all your eggs in this, basket, baby because this ain't.
Given and, yes there are a tournaments specifically In florida
(25:09):
who are legally married.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
For.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Citizenship i'm gonna tell y'all some. Tea my mama married
my daddy brother to keep him in The. States oh,
yeah oh, yeah, baby IF i ever write the book
about my ghetto ass.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Life so my mom the only.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Marriage that she ever has on paper was literally to
keep my uncle in The states and not and not
get not get sent back To.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Jamaica SO i get. It but there's still a lot of.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Holes and you said it, Too you have, suspicion and
there's a lot of pieces left out of this.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Story.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Baby going into the new, YEAR i need you to,
really really really sit back and consider what it is
that you, want what it is that you, deserve and
how you're gonna make sure you go about assuring that
you get those. Things and it starts, heavily, bitch with
(26:12):
sitting back.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
And thinking about what you.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Deserve and this goes back to my mother fucking saying
THAT i said on The Breakfast club THAT i went
back and said on our episode With Sheila. Marie people
are in the relationships they, deserve or at least the
ones they believe they. Deserve, now of, course we can
all want more for. Everybody we all want people to be,
(26:38):
Happy we all want people to be in, healthy, loving,
caring non abusive.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Relationships, right.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Do you think that you deserve more from this? Man
do you think you deserve more from any? Man AND
i think that you have to really sit back can decide.
That now he focks you On, thanksgiving so you know
clearly he wasn't with his. Family i'm curious to know
(27:08):
this week how he's spending His, Christmas Christmas, Eve christmas
bringing in The new. Year are you a part of
that or is the? Wife so for, ME i think
that it's this week is going to be. Telling this
week into next week is going to be really telling
as to how much you could really put up with
this relationship and what he's giving, you as well as
(27:33):
you really seeing how much crumbs you can bear to.
Take because a lot of, women especially around the, holidays
are excited to spend time with the niggas dicking him,
down and when them niggas go and spend it with,
elsewhere that's when you really start chin checking your feelings
at the dull and so, yeah so to, me super
(27:58):
curious to see what happens if you're listening to, this
would love for you to write back at the top
of the year and let us know where your role
kind of went during the holiday, season because clearly we
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Often it's very.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Telling and, yes even though you just met him within
this last, Quarter i'm curious to know to what extent
you felt fulfilled or pleased by this man during the holiday.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Season and speaking.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Of the holiday, season y'all, Already, no we're not taking a.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Break you are getting our year end wrap. Up we love.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
Y'all we're coming back to y'all and a lot.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Of y'all have been wanting solo, Episodes Baby, baby join
us over on The Patreon patreon dot Com Backslash Horrible.
Decisions we've been giving y'all the solo episodes weekly. Hunt
we've been giving you Just weezy AND i with the.
Updates so for as little it's five dollars a. Month
you can head on over to our patreoon where you
(29:00):
get a bonus episode every week and you also get
the full video to this The You Got decisions that's,
right head on over to patrion patreon dot com Backslash
Horrible decisions and we want to wish each and every
one of you guys a happy, holidays a Happy New,
year a Merry, Christmas Mary, Kwanza Happy, kwanza all the.
(29:22):
Things and IF i missed out on a, holiday god damn,
it what you expect from, Me Florida Education?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
System?
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Maybe, anyways love you. All this has been Another You Got.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Decisions see you guys next, week ye
Hey, navy girl, a long time listener, I had like
a two carter question. So right now I am twenty
five and I am a virgeon. I know, and I
will can change the show, but I think I want
to change it for you any hits now and all
film because I am twenty five young.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Admit I kind of want to know where this niggas at.
How to get shipped out of fly out.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I know that you're in additional space now of loving
and companionships and wanting niggas to take off the trash,
But how do I do that thing that you were
having and you were twenty five, like the fly outs
the middle of page, because right now a bro is
working and I'm not really trying to that hard.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
All right, thank you so much, And yeah you go
in horrible y'all.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Now this is this is crazy. By the way, it's
fine that virgins listen to us. We talk a lot
more than just sex. And it's entertainment, you.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Like I watch movies, you know where niggas is jumping
out of planes and ain't never jumped out of a plane.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
If I like, it's fine, this is entertainment.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Okay, So two part question, and I'm gonna break it
into two parts, because first off, I want to talk
to you about being twenty five and being a virgin.
You said you want to change being a virgin. That's
the first part. I think the word intentional is going
(01:26):
to be used here as well. However, I want to
just tell you and and ladies listen and please let
me know in the comments.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
If I'm being too harsh.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I don't think there's a right or perfect way to
lose your virginity.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
It could be with a longtime boyfriend, but then maybe
y'all break up. It could be with a long.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Standing crush like my first was my grade school crush,
and I was bright in his hair and then he
ended up getting inside of me while my mama was
at why crazy. I don't think there's a perfect way
to lose it. However, I think as a woman with
the choice and knowing as much as we know now,
(02:11):
with consent and all those things, I would just say,
when you are ready to make it the most damn
that word intentional, bitch. I'm about to look up at
the source for another word intentional, but I think it
needs to be discussed with the person.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think that you need.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
To make sure that they are aware that this is
your first time, and hopefully they're loving and caring and
show you that grace that is I think oftentimes stripped
from women in giving up their virginity to a man.
And don't feel the pressure. I mean, I know you
(02:50):
listen to the show. I know you hear Hella. People
having fun and sex is amazing. Girl.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
The first couple years of sexy, I was just figured
it out.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I don't know, if I look back, I wasn't having
great sex. So just know it is going to take
you a while to learn yourself, your body, what you like,
what you don't like, being comfortable, being secure, not worrying
about if one titty.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Is over here and the other is down there, or.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
How you how how your role may look to them,
or I'm not gonna lie. There's so many things that
aren't discussed about giving your body and yourself to someone
else in the moment that it's It's just gonna take
some time. So, like I said, I would say, be
intentional and make sure the person that you give this
part of you too is not only deserving, but is
(03:42):
aware that this is what this moment.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Is and hopefully they're a partner.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I don't believe you are in a relationship because if
the second part of this question, now the second part
of this question. So this was my hardest chapter two
write in our book. This is the part of the
podcast that I have the most shame. This is the
(04:14):
topic of discussion that took Wheezy and I close to
a year to even agree on this book for because
she felt that it would be contradictory to the brand
of horrible.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Decisions to have shame.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
And I was like, no, bro, I'm in therapy and
I'm realizing this.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
This is tough for me.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Like I was out hell fucking for the five hondo,
for a stack, for a pair of genus, for the
cost of a tomahawk statement like and I knowing now
my my self worth my value, and like that, I
(05:02):
am upset a bit at this letter asking from a
virgin not only how to lose their virginity, but in
the same breath, how to be a prostitute. And that's
essentially what this is. That's essentially what I was doing.
I was involving myself in a form of sex work
(05:25):
by using my body as a form of currency.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
In exchange for flights in exchange for money, in.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Exchange for moments, and in becoming someone of a value
who's busted her ass to do and be able to
live how she wants.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
To know that I have purchased a pair of genes.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
That is hanging in my closet that I ain't even
worn yet because that money meant nothing, and to know
that that was the price tag on my pussy at
one point is crazy.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
This I've reworked. I don't think you guys realize that.
In this book coming up, I have a chapter on
sexual assault, on abortion, on my ex on.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
There's a lot of deep.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Trauma that I put into this book, and this topic.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Brought the most tears.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Was the very last chapter for me to write, because
as I would go and start writing it, I would
feel shamed, like I was full of shame. I'm still
currently working past what my twenties was and what sex
was for me and what that relationship with men entailed,
And so at thirty three, I'm not going to advise
(06:49):
any woman to be out here.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Selling couchie if they don't have to. Like I was.
I was.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
It was survival sex for me, and I definitely spoke
about it. On this podcast, like it was lavish, Like bitch,
if my nigga ain't.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Dropping no bag, he ain't.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
But really, Mitch, I had bills to bay, and between
all the jobs I was working and my fucking Sally
May loans and financial aid, I was making it.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
And I use.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
That as a form to just fucking make it and
looking back at it now and having a different view
on what money is or what that comma looks like,
or the difference between a thousand and ten thousand and
ten thousand and fifty thousand and like I've made in
one weekend what back in my twenties took me a
(07:42):
year to make working forty hour weeks, and so like
just my mind has changed on what that looks like.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
My mind on sex has changed.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
My mind on intimacy and the importance of affection and
connection with a person has changed. And so this is
actually where we have tons of sex workers come on
the podcast and talk about their journey. My only advice
for you would be to listen back to those episodes.
I am not in a place where I condone a
(08:15):
woman doing it just to pay bills and blown out.
Get you a man with money who values you, who
wants you to see the world. That's what I would say,
be intentional with maybe the caliber of men that you
choose to date or who pursues you, and in doing so,
let them know you're seeking affection, you're seeking love, You're
(08:36):
seeking someone who cares for you and you'd love to
see the world. I think a man that loves and
values you or really fucks with you wants to make
you happy. So if the things you want are assistance
with bills or to go to an island you've never
been to, the way to do that is to vocalize
that in a healthy relationship, in a setting with a
(09:00):
man that wants nothing.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
To do but to put a smile on your face.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,
But why it's up there? Tap in for the full,
uncut and way nastier episodes over on Patreon. Go to
patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy,
t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else.
(09:24):
And now here's You've got decision.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend or
a terrible throatful guess what You've got decisions.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
You've got decisions, baby. Hey, guys, welcome to another you
got decisions on a motherfucking hump day.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
And actually, let me look, this is the hump day.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right before Krema.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
So Marry Christmas Eve, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy be
Holidays to the Whorehive and everybody else tuned in hope
that you guys are enjoying your holidays, enjoying your family
and baby, enjoying your time off.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
If you have it off. If you want to.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
See what I'm doing, I am currently ocean side and
curous out because that's what you get when you don't.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Got the kids.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Okay, it is the end of the year, and we
are so grateful that you guys have rocked with us
and enjoyed all of our new content, our name change,
our rebrand, our New York Times bestselling book this year.
And it has been a fucking roller coaster in twenty
twenty five. And so what I wanted to make sure
(10:49):
I brought to you this week for the you Got
Decisions is some chaos, some drama, a reminder that even
though it's the end of the year, y'all are going
going into the new year still with.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Some bullshit on some bullshit and not really knowing how
to navigate it.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
I think it's funny because this is normally the time
of year where you be like, new Year next week,
knew me. No, girl, you can't change it that quick, No, sire,
you still gonna be the fuck nigga you've been in
twenty twenty five. Although we hope that you guys want
better for yourselves now, Weezy is not doing this with
(11:27):
me today because maybe our schedules. I was just like,
let me get this out, and this one specifically, I
felt like, you know, it's talking about developing a crush
for a married man, and well, I've been getting dragged
all week for being honest about my stint of dealing
with married men, and so I was like, fuck it,
(11:51):
let me answer this shit while these niggas in my
motherfucking comments saying all the bullshit that they can about me.
By the way, if you want to listen to me
talk about that recently and why I will no longer
deal with a married man, go check out my interview
on Love and Fly Shit podcast. Anyways, really excited to
get into this letter this week. Hopefully again you guys
(12:13):
are joining enjoying your time off or if you're at
the office, Here we go constantly giving you pul says
holds some content.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Now here we go.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
By the way, we received this message just last week,
so this is.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
A new dilemma.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
The subject line reads, I'm developing a crush on a
married man. But hear me out, longtime listener and patron
living in fos seven Choppa City. Brah blah brah, love
y'all down. Okay, So I recently met this guy on
a store run. He was super handsome, had an accent, six'
(12:51):
three and a beautiful. Smile he asked me for my
number AND i said. Yes we started talking regularly. Instantly
it was as if SOMEONE i knew for a, while
even though we just. Met we went on a couple
of dates and On thanksgiving night we fucked and it was,
amazing like, freaky, nasty, spanking spitting dirty talk all over my, body,
(13:18):
kisses choked me WHILE i was giving head a personal,
frave and he ate my pussy off the bone hashtag.
Tenderism so after that we run it back the next day,
too but after that next day he tells me has
something to tell.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Me my stomach drops and he said he's.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Married, like damn, Nigga Now i'm already hooked on the.
Dick he, explained when he moved To america from The,
bahamas he got in some legal, troubles so to avoid,
deportation he got. Married, Okay i'm gonna have to look
this up on CHAT, gpt but here me out because
(14:02):
deported to The.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Bahamas, Okay i'm gonna. Okay he, said.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
They both do their quote unquote own thing and they
don't have. Sex, however he kind of loved it at.
That now my immediate reaction, was what the? FUCK i
don't know HOW i feel about being a side.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Chick but after.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Talking to my, homegirl she was, like, Girl caribbean niggas
have green cards marriages all the, time especially here In.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Florida not gonna, Lie she rationalized it enough for.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Me we still, fuck but he never spends the, night
WHICH i want him, to especially after being. Intimate we
go out in public a, lot and he's publicly affectionate towards,
me but still having this nagging. Suspicion he's left some
pieces of this story out and Now i'm starting to
like this man a little bit more than just.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
SEX i know it won't be anything.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Serious i've already accepted that AND i don't want that.
Either but SHOULD i just cut this off or play
my role and? Compartmentalize oh, baby we got some things
to break down. Here first, Off i'm going to my
husband going to check spinning a couple purified water droplets
(15:19):
on researching. This do you need a green card if
you're from The? Bahamas and can you be deported back
to The? Bahamas, Now i'm only asking this because The
bahamas IS i believe it's An american, Territory like you
(15:40):
can get to The bahamas without a passport to my,
knowledge and SO i want to check. That but before
while it looks that, up let's get into your other.
(16:01):
DILEMMA i do feel like you're lying to, yourself first,
off and let's get into. That hold, On i'm going
to ask my other check because one on my computer
run is.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Slow because it's.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Also interesting light NIGGA youa, yeah we'll, see.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay so let's get into WHERE i feel like you
are lying to.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Yourself first, off you have expressed how you are liking
him more than. Sex you literally admit that to, me
but then in the very next sentence, SAY i know
it won't be anything. Serious, however leading up to what
your friend said and what you're agreeing to is that
(16:42):
it's possible that he's not really in a marriage where
he is emotionally bounded to this, wife and so technically
it could be something serious as long as you don't
mind him legally being married to someone else only for
a quote unquote. Card you're also saying that you don't
(17:02):
want anything.
Speaker 5 (17:03):
More, however you like him more than. Sex make it makes?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Sense the math ain't, mathing AND i feel like you're
trying to make something like fit in your brain to
just continue seeing this.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
Person Now here we, go and, girl the internet is your.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Friend when a nigga tell you something and you just
feel like you're missing some, things, girl get your ass
on the. Internet here's the thing you. Ready you do
not need A us green card if you Have bahamian immigration.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Status? Okay?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Interesting apparently it, says hold, on do you need a
green card for The?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Bahamas But i'll here we? Go can you be? DEPORTED
i THINK i asked this question.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Wrong can you live in the us as a behave
mean citizen and can you be deported because this is
like if you, TRAVELING i just want to See, Okay,
(18:20):
okay okay, Girl, okay, okay he might Be, okay it's.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
True it's.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
True A bahamian citizen does need a green, card and
of course you become a permanent resident with the green
card through family, sponsorship, employment, marriage or certain other. Categories, okay,
okay so, bitch, listen y'all know geography is not my strongest.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Suit, okay so very.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
True here's my, thing here's my, thing and here's where
you have to make it make. Sense this man said
that he doesn't have sex with his, wife and they're
also able to do their own. Thing, however red flag
here is that he doesn't spend the night if they
(19:11):
are in this marriage.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Only for his green.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Card explain to me why he doesn't have the autonomy
to spend the night at your house if they're both
quote unquote doing their own. THING i think what you
should do is inquire about, that because WHAT i do
feel like you're getting here is the short end of the.
(19:35):
Stick if you're saying that you would like him to
spend the, night because you would like to spend more
time with, him especially after being. Intimate you're accepting just
the going out in public and public affection without the
private affection in terms of. Him, actually you, KNOW i
(19:57):
guess sleeping with you after?
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Y'all fuck?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Now Who your question, is SHOULD i cut this off
or play my role and?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Compartmentalize and this is where in going into.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Twenty twenty five and going into twenty twenty, six any
twenty twenty, FIVE i truly think that you have to
go into.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
What do you? Want what do you?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Want and what this sounds like is you would like,
More you really like this, person you would like a,
relationship but you've also already told yourself that you've accepted.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
That it won't be anything.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
More will you be fulfilled with what it is right?
Now with no milestones to reach of this going? Beyond
how how well are you with wasting your? Time because
if you are looking for something, more if you are
looking for a, family if you are looking to be
in a committed exclusive, relationlationship if you're looking to potentially
(21:02):
get married one, day how how much of your time
do you care that you waste with this? Man and
that's the compartmentalization of it all? Right is this man
open to you doing your own thing outside of? Him
has that been a, Conversation what has been the conversation
(21:23):
around whether he could spend the night or.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
NOT i think for as.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Much as you have been talking to, HIM i think
it's interesting how long it took you to find out his,
marriage which means there could be a lot of other
things you.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Don't know about this.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
MAN i think you could be dick blinded right. Now
dick blinded is a thing you gave me almost three
lines of what he did to you in that. Bedroom
bit you, throwed bit you ha throwed over the, Deck
and SO i think you have to actually sit with.
(21:56):
Yourself AND i think any woman listening to this you
catch yourself in at a crossroad with if you need
to compartmentalize your emotions and feelings and the time you
get with a man to feel like you're okay with,
it are you really and is this what you?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
WANT i think for the clip that's been.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Going viral lately about me admitting to be in a
side chick in my, TWENTIES i THINK i decided to
sit with, myself love myself first and decide WHAT i
would and wouldn't accept from a. Man and to, me
if you're wanting something that you can't, get you're. Settling
and is this the man you want to settle, with
(22:39):
because essentially you're not gonna get anything more than probably
what you're getting now with?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Him? Right would you be okay.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
With this relationship if he starts spending the night with?
You because then what else would you want after? That
is it only the not spending the? Night are you
asking him about how often you talking to him about
what his relationship with his wife looks?
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Like? Mitch why you can't spend the night if y'all not?
Together Like there's just.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
So many questions THAT i honestly feel like you're so
scared to ask because you do like him so. Much
and of, course as, women we fear that if we
ask somebody for too much that they're gonna leave.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Us is that a fear that you?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Have in twenty twenty, SIX i want women in these
complicated situationships to ask themselves how safe they really feel
with being with this. Person cool you safe enough for
him to eat yo pussy off the? Bone but are
you safe enough with him to question and ask for
(23:42):
the actual things that you want in the relationship because
if you, can't this man doesn't make you really feel.
Safe the fact that you're, asking SHOULD i cut him
off or play my role and? Compartmentalize are you willing
to play the side chick?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Role because you going.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
To your friend said your immediate reaction.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Was what the? FUCK i don't know HOW i feel.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
About being a side, chick which means you want to
be a, man which means you're looking for a. Relationship
you don't want to just quote unquote play your. Role
so Since i'm not gonna tell you to play a
role THAT i don't think you're comfortable with, Playing i'm
also not gonna tell you to compartmentalize and put your
feelings and your needs to the side in order to
have a nigga in your life who also wait until
(24:25):
after he got inside you to let you know that
he was. Married that's called. Manipulation that's called he wasn't
keeping it real with you before he put his dick
inside of you because he felt like that little detail
might keep him from getting what he. Wanted so are
you willing to make sure this nigga gets to move
and get everything he want out of? You and you
(24:47):
don't get what you want out of? Him or is
it just dick you? Want is it just a few
dates here and there that you. Want WHAT i am
going to say you, is don't sit here and put
all your eggs in this, basket, baby because this ain't.
Given and, yes there are a tournaments specifically In florida
(25:09):
who are legally married.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
For.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Citizenship i'm gonna tell y'all some. Tea my mama married
my daddy brother to keep him in The. States oh,
yeah oh, yeah, baby IF i ever write the book
about my ghetto ass.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Life so my mom the only.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Marriage that she ever has on paper was literally to
keep my uncle in The states and not and not
get not get sent back To.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Jamaica SO i get. It but there's still a lot of.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Holes and you said it, Too you have, suspicion and
there's a lot of pieces left out of this.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Story.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Baby going into the new, YEAR i need you to,
really really really sit back and consider what it is
that you, want what it is that you, deserve and
how you're gonna make sure you go about assuring that
you get those. Things and it starts, heavily, bitch with
(26:12):
sitting back.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
And thinking about what you.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Deserve and this goes back to my mother fucking saying
THAT i said on The Breakfast club THAT i went
back and said on our episode With Sheila. Marie people
are in the relationships they, deserve or at least the
ones they believe they. Deserve, now of, course we can
all want more for. Everybody we all want people to be,
(26:38):
Happy we all want people to be in, healthy, loving,
caring non abusive.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Relationships, right.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Do you think that you deserve more from this? Man
do you think you deserve more from any? Man AND
i think that you have to really sit back can decide.
That now he focks you On, thanksgiving so you know
clearly he wasn't with his. Family i'm curious to know
(27:08):
this week how he's spending His, Christmas Christmas, Eve christmas
bringing in The new. Year are you a part of
that or is the? Wife so for, ME i think
that it's this week is going to be. Telling this
week into next week is going to be really telling
as to how much you could really put up with
this relationship and what he's giving, you as well as
(27:33):
you really seeing how much crumbs you can bear to.
Take because a lot of, women especially around the, holidays
are excited to spend time with the niggas dicking him,
down and when them niggas go and spend it with,
elsewhere that's when you really start chin checking your feelings
at the dull and so, yeah so to, me super
(27:58):
curious to see what happens if you're listening to, this
would love for you to write back at the top
of the year and let us know where your role
kind of went during the holiday, season because clearly we
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Often it's very.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Telling and, yes even though you just met him within
this last, Quarter i'm curious to know to what extent
you felt fulfilled or pleased by this man during the holiday.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Season and speaking.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Of the holiday, season y'all, Already, no we're not taking a.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Break you are getting our year end wrap. Up we love.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
Y'all we're coming back to y'all and a lot.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Of y'all have been wanting solo, Episodes Baby, baby join
us over on The Patreon patreon dot Com Backslash Horrible.
Decisions we've been giving y'all the solo episodes weekly. Hunt
we've been giving you Just weezy AND i with the.
Updates so for as little it's five dollars a. Month
you can head on over to our patreoon where you
(29:00):
get a bonus episode every week and you also get
the full video to this The You Got decisions that's,
right head on over to patrion patreon dot com Backslash
Horrible decisions and we want to wish each and every
one of you guys a happy, holidays a Happy New,
year a Merry, Christmas Mary, Kwanza Happy, kwanza all the.
(29:22):
Things and IF i missed out on a, holiday god damn,
it what you expect from, Me Florida Education?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
System?
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Maybe, anyways love you. All this has been Another You Got.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Decisions see you guys next, week ye
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