June 4, 2025 • 20 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible threatful guess what You've got Decisions? Welcome to
another episode of You've Got Decisions.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
It's Girl Man DV and I'm joined this week with Eden.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Yes, we are taping.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
This in the A so Weezy is not here today,
but it's okay. It's okay because I'm actually going to
lean into a very special piece that I have over
on Patreon called Mandy on the Hotline. So this week
for You Got Decisions, you're actually gonna hear a voicemail,
and I'd love to receive more voicemails from you guys,
(00:45):
So if you like to call in and leave a voicemail,
you can go ahead and call nine seven three nine
three to two zero two to seven, and you may
hear your voicemail here, but for sure over on Patreon
on our very special bonus content Mandy on the Hotline.
(01:07):
If however, you want to send in Aletta, you could
always email Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. We will
answer your questions here and hopefully help you.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Out with your life.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Do you you have a book.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
You know I do. If you haven't yet, make sure
you also purchase.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Our book, No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual
exploration and power.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
It's the drink. It's the drink.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Baby, listen, it's it's been a long day. It's been
a long day. Also, we're going on tours starting in July,
and we want to see each and every one of
you there, So please please please head on over to
NHB tour dot com and get your tickets for the tour,
and of course purchased No holsbard wherever you get.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Make them New York Times bestsellers.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Please hear, and then you're gonna help me with this
question we got. What's crazy? Is this one just came
in fresh? This is a fresh one.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
So.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Let's see what she's talking about. It looked like a lot.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
This bear with me.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
This one's too minutes. It's okay because she got a lot.
She gave us details and I appreciate that. You feel me.
All right, So here we go.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Hey, many minute was free. I'm from Kelly, but I'm
gonna keep it short. So I've been sucking with this
guy for like six months. Sometimes he's like he's just
hot and cold with me some day sometimes. But one
day he showed me his medicine captain. I was like, oh, okay, interesting.
And then like a few weeks later, I was cooking
(02:58):
at his house and he had left a minute, but
the medicine cabinet was open, so let me see if
he's by if he's taken by polar medication because he
needs so weird. Anyway, I look in the cabinet and
I see doctors feeling in prep and my heart like
(03:19):
literally stank to my stomach. But I had to get
myself together and I was like, maybe he's just like
extra careful whatever, because you know, we just like we
just like it. But anyway, he had five like side
bottles of each of them. But anyway, the next day
I asked him about it, and he was like, oh,
(03:44):
I don't take prep. I've just been I just got it.
So I was able to so I could get the
doctor's filings. I was like, so you acted gay so
you can get doctor's feeling. He was like, it's just
you take it like I think he's at thirty six
hours after after you have sex and you think you've
(04:04):
been exposed to somebody solf. He was like, I don't
take prep. I just I just give it to my
friends when they need it. And I'm just like, I
don't know, I don't know what to think about it.
I tried, I'm believing him at the moment, but it's
(04:24):
still liked damn, like you're really a freakyus maybe in
prep and this amount. But I also was like, maybe
he's stelling it. I don't know. He lives in LA
and I just want to know what you would think
if you saw that, And yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, first of all, not you thinking this nigga might
be bipolar because he hot and cold with your ass girl.
Maybe it's just not that into you first off, and
clearly the that already because now you think he gay,
but you think the bipolar off off him being up
and down.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
With his moods with you or hot and cold. Is coursy.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I love too that we just love were in the
space of mental health where we just are diagnosing, because
let's be very clear, my friends, no.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Na well for the audience.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Doxy cyclin I don't even know if that's not saying
is it even doctor? Doxy silent cyclin cycling circline doxy
broad spectrum tetral. Another guy there work symbiotic commonly prescribed
(05:48):
to treat various bacterial infections and certain parasitic infections. So
bacteria infections include anything from and here this is what's important.
Anything that causes respiratory infections, so like pneumonia and bronchitis,
skin infections like acne or cellulitis UTIs, and then sexually
(06:08):
transmitted diseases like chlamydia and syphilis, also tick born illnesses
like lime disease. But it's also a common treatment for
acnea roisation.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I say all of that to say.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
None of those things are probably it because prep was
right next to it, but that particular one could be
used for anything else. Now, the fact that he said
he has it and had to get the prep in
order to be diagnosed with this one, my concerns are
hold on. My concerns are if he knew or claims
(06:51):
that this antipibiotic.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Clears up or saves him from getting.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Something like a chlemittee or a syphilis within thirty six hours,
I would be absolutely concerned for my health because that means.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
He's more probably.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Out here not using protection. I do like the.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Kind of preventive measure of getting this antibiotic. However, I
would be concerned with how he is having sex with
other people. Now, you didn't say that this was your partner.
You said that this is a guy that you've been
fucking with for six months. To me, and the fact
that you're also saying that he's hot and cold, he
(07:39):
probably hot and cold dealing with other people.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Oh, not that what you was saying.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
He could be more hot with others, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
The only way I think you should consider maintaining this
situationship if you like him, would be to.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Ask for test results, because I.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Would say, you're clearly in a position where you're fucking him,
but you're not together. You're not in a relationship with him,
so it's not exclusive. And if you see that this
is the medication in his cabinet, I don't think there's
any reason to shame him or call him a hoe
or but he could be engaging in more risky sex,
which makes me believe it should be easy. If it
(08:28):
was this easy for him to talk about why this
medication is in his medicine cabinet, this would actually be
probably a really good candidate for someone to be like, Hey,
that's dope.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I see like you got.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Preventive measures in your medicine cabinet. Do you mind if
we share results? And because he has the medication, I
would say on a monthly.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Basis, if you think after six I mean, I'm not
saying that he can't nor should she ask, right, I
mean his initial reaction from after six months to be
asked results it's to be I.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Mean, I'm not gonna lie the way he whether he
was lying or not, his reaction was, hey, I only
have the PREP, which PREP is still associated to gay men,
a gay man drug to keep them from getting HIV.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
We've talked about PREP.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
If you haven't yet, we have a whole episode two
speaking about it with Sex with Athlete over on Patreon.
But PREP by a man, I would automatically assume you're
also dealing with men, let's be very clear. And then
the other one for him to so nonchalantly say it's
something I could take if in case I'm exposed.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
To maybe he's not comfortable enough. Sure, David, I'm gonna
say this real quick. It doesn't matter that they've been
fucking for six months. He still might not be comfortable.
She'll let her know that he is intimate and it
is what it is. We as men could be very
insecure by our own sexuality.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Absolutely right. That's why I don't care about what the
fuck I say. Sometimes I'm like, dude, I know who
I am.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
The truth, or at least safety comes with a heart
troop something it does, because that the reality is that
if you want to know it, and I think you're
being frank in one of the best way possibles, which
is ask for those results, because the reality is is
that you're saving yourself and even him, because it could
(10:18):
really be either way at one point, right, someone could
be doing something wrong. But here it's there's a misunderstanding
and there's something that seems a little off to you,
and you shouldn't take a risk with your body if
you're feeling it's not worth it.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Mad other dick right, mad mad other dick mad mad bad?
But clearly you like this one.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I mean yes and no, I mean the hot and
cold him being that way. Here's the thing too, ask yourself,
would you not want to deal with him at all?
If he admits to dealing with men.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
He also might not be bob polar, He might be no, no, no,
I just yeah, he does.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Mean, yeah, he just may not know how to juggle
multiple people, so his communication and moods, would you just.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Multiple people?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
He may just not know how to navigate being on
all the time, juggling to so many different people. So yeah,
I think you have to ask yourself first off. Okay,
he's expressed to me already that he has this antibiotic
in case of exposure, which means clearly you're not exclusive
with each other, which means you both are dealing with
people just possibly unprotected. That's just the truth, the fact
(11:43):
of the matter. You have to deal with yourself or
look in the mirror and ask yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Would it bother me.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Truly psychologically to know that this guy that I've been
dealing with for the last six months also engages in.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Acts with men or acts in general? Do you think both?
I mean, do you think she knows that if he's
fucking other women?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Maybe the only reason why the fact that she said
she was cooking at his house makes me think, I
mean that it might be a little bit more than casual, okay,
because you cooking a meal for someone. Okay, And this
could just be me projected, y'all know, me for someone
is very intimate. You're also cooking it at his house.
(12:31):
So I do think that there's a comfortability factor there
where she may be progressing to really like this man.
And I think that if that's the case, you have
to look at what the hell is that potential looks like?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Like is this something that you would be okay with?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Like, he ain't got bipolar medicine, but she got prepped
and then now you're thinking she no, Let's be very clear.
Can we talk about the delusion she went down the
rabbit hole of believing that, well, maybe he's just selling it.
Maybe he's slanging that prep in these streets. Girl, you
gotta take prep every day.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Girl, you just ain't.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Selling appeal to these motherfuckers. They're not get high off prep.
So I need you to not think that he out
here slanging prep pills.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Like, so I think you have to be real with
does this really bother you because you believe he may
be dealing with other men? Have you created a safe
space for him to be honest with you? Like, did
you immediately did you immediately see.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
That prep and be like, oh, nigga, Like on some
bulldog's voice type ship or are you someone that could
just be like, hey, we can dig together.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Just because he's doesn't mean doesn't.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
But I'm just saying, what level of comfortability have you created?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
To me?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
There's a level that he's showing you his medicine cabinet.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
But did he you know what? I think she's maybe she.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
All looked well, no, no, she said she snooped while
he was gone. But he's one day he showed me
his medicine cabinet, and I was like, okay.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Interesting.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
First of all, it was probably like OpEd he opened
this ship. And then she's like, oh the cabinet.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, I didn't know this, mirac I got this.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
And then like then it was fine, okay, balance, you
might be onto something.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He just went in there to grant, he went the
medicine bottles.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
He got away like she ain't. But I respect it,
you know.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I think.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
It's tough.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
I think regardless, And I was just having this conversation
with front of mine and just in general, yes, be selfish,
take care of yourself. Notice, at the end of the day,
no matter what he's taking, even if brace it could
be a preventative measure. As for the results and protect
yourself because really, at the end of the day, you
don't want to get called out in any sense at all,
(15:10):
and any sense and it's not Maybe it's not out
of malice. Maybe he's doing his best to try to
protect them, regardless if he's with men or not. Even though,
like you said, right, the reality is that something happens
to you, you're going to have to deal with it.
It don't matter what's in his medicine cabinet, is about
what's going to be in your medicine cabinet. If you
(15:31):
don't deal with that, you don't handlate very responsibly. It's
not about you being in the upper hand. It's not
about him doing some wax shit. It's about you figuring
out and making sure that you're okay at the end
of the day.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, I agree, I agree. I also think it's just
like I love what you just said about being selfish.
I think as women, we often bite.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Our ya y'all take care of us so much, but
also or not.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
The and the risk of ourselves being in danger sometimes.
I mean, oh, women are very delusional. But I think
when it comes to sex and talking about our health
that becomes difficult because we weren't taught how to do that,
our dumb asses millennials, and I don't know what gen
(16:18):
Z sex education looks like now, but we literally were
just taught abstinate or else you're gonna get pregnant and die.
So I think that there wasn't enough conversation about how
to realistically, without shame and without judgment, have a very
real conversation about health. Like, yes, if you are going
down on a man and you see something that don't
(16:40):
look right, bring your head back up.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
And be like, hey, what is this? I mean, maybe
not like that, but okay, but just maybe hey, you
don't want anything, so maybe just be like.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
This isn't the right time, this isn't the right moment,
and have the conversation later, ask for results, ask for
test results, to feel comfortable with these people.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
And again, medication.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Is there to help, But do you want to have
to be Do you want to have to.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Take medication for the rest of your life? With something else?
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Stop thinking about his, thinking about what might have to
be in yours if you don't take the right procedure,
because as a day, even though he might still be safe,
it could be a premitive measure. You can find yourself
in a really tough spot, unfortunately, unfortunately, and you don't
want to do that.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
You do not want to do that, I'm telling you now.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Yeah, So look out of his situation and really be selfish,
like Eddin said, and only.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Care about you, whether you like him or not. Gerder's
mode dicks in the sea, there's mouchies in the seed.
There's more.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
There are more options for you out here than to
be with someone who a may not be forthright about
his health or whatever else he's doing.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
When you're not around that hot and cold shit is
definitely a big red flag. No, I agree, a big
red flag. The biggest red flag.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yes to no, you don't date man niggas is hot
and cold.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
No, Like that's a normal when you're just dating someone,
or you're or you have a situationship, or you're just
having sex. Mind you, a lot of women often find
it difficult to communicate what type of relationship they want
from a man, so they're willing to just take whatever
communicating and they want more.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
No I'm talking about them, but I'm talking about that
he might be just putting his attentions oide of the woman.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Or I mean, you know what, I mean, it's not happening,
but that's what I'm saying. It's hot and cold. Could
literally be also her realizing that she's not getting what
she wants out of this relationship.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
I said that from the top.
Speaker 6 (18:39):
I said that from the top, it might not be
interested in you, and it might not be that sucks
for you. But Andrew, just take the safe route. Accept
the heart truth with your safety.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Accept the heart truth with your safety. That's our advice
to you.
Speaker 6 (18:54):
Hunt.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Now, make sure if you like to send in a
letter to you've got decisions, email us y'all. We need
to help y'all. Email us Decisions pod at gmail dot com.
Or if you'd like to submit a voicemail, send it
over to ninety seven three nine three two zero two
(19:16):
to seven.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
And we will help you out with your life. Baby,
We gonna help you out with your life. Anyways, Thank y'all.
If you are new here, I'm Mandy B.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You can follow me everywhere at Full Court Pumps and
also check me every Tuesday on my other podcast, Selective Ignorance.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
But if you want to see my words onto paper
and not really sounding like this, it sounds way more eloquent.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Make sure you.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Purchase No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto, Sexual Exploration and Power,
available now for pre order wherever you purchase your books.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
And get your tickets to come see us on tour
NHB tour dot com. Cannot wait to meet you all,
cannot wait to hug you all, cannot wait to feel
you all.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Pause, No, I didn't mean them, alright, alright.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Anyways, Thank you guys for another episode of You Got Decisions.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
See you guys next week
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible threatful guess what You've got Decisions? Welcome to
another episode of You've Got Decisions.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
It's Girl Man DV and I'm joined this week with Eden.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Yes, we are taping.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
This in the A so Weezy is not here today,
but it's okay. It's okay because I'm actually going to
lean into a very special piece that I have over
on Patreon called Mandy on the Hotline. So this week
for You Got Decisions, you're actually gonna hear a voicemail,
and I'd love to receive more voicemails from you guys,
(00:45):
So if you like to call in and leave a voicemail,
you can go ahead and call nine seven three nine
three to two zero two to seven, and you may
hear your voicemail here, but for sure over on Patreon
on our very special bonus content Mandy on the Hotline.
(01:07):
If however, you want to send in Aletta, you could
always email Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. We will
answer your questions here and hopefully help you.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Out with your life.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Do you you have a book.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
You know I do. If you haven't yet, make sure
you also purchase.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Our book, No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual
exploration and power.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
It's the drink. It's the drink.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Baby, listen, it's it's been a long day. It's been
a long day. Also, we're going on tours starting in July,
and we want to see each and every one of
you there, So please please please head on over to
NHB tour dot com and get your tickets for the tour,
and of course purchased No holsbard wherever you get.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Make them New York Times bestsellers.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Please hear, and then you're gonna help me with this
question we got. What's crazy? Is this one just came
in fresh? This is a fresh one.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
So.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Let's see what she's talking about. It looked like a lot.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
This bear with me.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
This one's too minutes. It's okay because she got a lot.
She gave us details and I appreciate that. You feel me.
All right, So here we go.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Hey, many minute was free. I'm from Kelly, but I'm
gonna keep it short. So I've been sucking with this
guy for like six months. Sometimes he's like he's just
hot and cold with me some day sometimes. But one
day he showed me his medicine captain. I was like, oh, okay, interesting.
And then like a few weeks later, I was cooking
(02:58):
at his house and he had left a minute, but
the medicine cabinet was open, so let me see if
he's by if he's taken by polar medication because he
needs so weird. Anyway, I look in the cabinet and
I see doctors feeling in prep and my heart like
(03:19):
literally stank to my stomach. But I had to get
myself together and I was like, maybe he's just like
extra careful whatever, because you know, we just like we
just like it. But anyway, he had five like side
bottles of each of them. But anyway, the next day
I asked him about it, and he was like, oh,
(03:44):
I don't take prep. I've just been I just got it.
So I was able to so I could get the
doctor's filings. I was like, so you acted gay so
you can get doctor's feeling. He was like, it's just
you take it like I think he's at thirty six
hours after after you have sex and you think you've
(04:04):
been exposed to somebody solf. He was like, I don't
take prep. I just I just give it to my
friends when they need it. And I'm just like, I
don't know, I don't know what to think about it.
I tried, I'm believing him at the moment, but it's
(04:24):
still liked damn, like you're really a freakyus maybe in
prep and this amount. But I also was like, maybe
he's stelling it. I don't know. He lives in LA
and I just want to know what you would think
if you saw that, And yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, first of all, not you thinking this nigga might
be bipolar because he hot and cold with your ass girl.
Maybe it's just not that into you first off, and
clearly the that already because now you think he gay,
but you think the bipolar off off him being up
and down.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
With his moods with you or hot and cold. Is coursy.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I love too that we just love were in the
space of mental health where we just are diagnosing, because
let's be very clear, my friends, no.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Na well for the audience.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Doxy cyclin I don't even know if that's not saying
is it even doctor? Doxy silent cyclin cycling circline doxy
broad spectrum tetral. Another guy there work symbiotic commonly prescribed
(05:48):
to treat various bacterial infections and certain parasitic infections. So
bacteria infections include anything from and here this is what's important.
Anything that causes respiratory infections, so like pneumonia and bronchitis,
skin infections like acne or cellulitis UTIs, and then sexually
(06:08):
transmitted diseases like chlamydia and syphilis, also tick born illnesses
like lime disease. But it's also a common treatment for
acnea roisation.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I say all of that to say.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
None of those things are probably it because prep was
right next to it, but that particular one could be
used for anything else. Now, the fact that he said
he has it and had to get the prep in
order to be diagnosed with this one, my concerns are
hold on. My concerns are if he knew or claims
(06:51):
that this antipibiotic.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Clears up or saves him from getting.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Something like a chlemittee or a syphilis within thirty six hours,
I would be absolutely concerned for my health because that means.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
He's more probably.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Out here not using protection. I do like the.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Kind of preventive measure of getting this antibiotic. However, I
would be concerned with how he is having sex with
other people. Now, you didn't say that this was your partner.
You said that this is a guy that you've been
fucking with for six months. To me, and the fact
that you're also saying that he's hot and cold, he
(07:39):
probably hot and cold dealing with other people.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Oh, not that what you was saying.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
He could be more hot with others, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
The only way I think you should consider maintaining this
situationship if you like him, would be to.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Ask for test results, because I.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Would say, you're clearly in a position where you're fucking him,
but you're not together. You're not in a relationship with him,
so it's not exclusive. And if you see that this
is the medication in his cabinet, I don't think there's
any reason to shame him or call him a hoe
or but he could be engaging in more risky sex,
which makes me believe it should be easy. If it
(08:28):
was this easy for him to talk about why this
medication is in his medicine cabinet, this would actually be
probably a really good candidate for someone to be like, Hey,
that's dope.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I see like you got.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Preventive measures in your medicine cabinet. Do you mind if
we share results? And because he has the medication, I
would say on a monthly.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Basis, if you think after six I mean, I'm not
saying that he can't nor should she ask, right, I
mean his initial reaction from after six months to be
asked results it's to be I.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Mean, I'm not gonna lie the way he whether he
was lying or not, his reaction was, hey, I only
have the PREP, which PREP is still associated to gay men,
a gay man drug to keep them from getting HIV.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
We've talked about PREP.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
If you haven't yet, we have a whole episode two
speaking about it with Sex with Athlete over on Patreon.
But PREP by a man, I would automatically assume you're
also dealing with men, let's be very clear. And then
the other one for him to so nonchalantly say it's
something I could take if in case I'm exposed.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
To maybe he's not comfortable enough. Sure, David, I'm gonna
say this real quick. It doesn't matter that they've been
fucking for six months. He still might not be comfortable.
She'll let her know that he is intimate and it
is what it is. We as men could be very
insecure by our own sexuality.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Absolutely right. That's why I don't care about what the
fuck I say. Sometimes I'm like, dude, I know who
I am.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
The truth, or at least safety comes with a heart
troop something it does, because that the reality is that
if you want to know it, and I think you're
being frank in one of the best way possibles, which
is ask for those results, because the reality is is
that you're saving yourself and even him, because it could
(10:18):
really be either way at one point, right, someone could
be doing something wrong. But here it's there's a misunderstanding
and there's something that seems a little off to you,
and you shouldn't take a risk with your body if
you're feeling it's not worth it.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Mad other dick right, mad mad other dick mad mad bad?
But clearly you like this one.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I mean yes and no, I mean the hot and
cold him being that way. Here's the thing too, ask yourself,
would you not want to deal with him at all?
If he admits to dealing with men.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
He also might not be bob polar, He might be no, no, no,
I just yeah, he does.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Mean, yeah, he just may not know how to juggle
multiple people, so his communication and moods, would you just.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Multiple people?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
He may just not know how to navigate being on
all the time, juggling to so many different people. So yeah,
I think you have to ask yourself first off. Okay,
he's expressed to me already that he has this antibiotic
in case of exposure, which means clearly you're not exclusive
with each other, which means you both are dealing with
people just possibly unprotected. That's just the truth, the fact
(11:43):
of the matter. You have to deal with yourself or
look in the mirror and ask yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Would it bother me.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Truly psychologically to know that this guy that I've been
dealing with for the last six months also engages in.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Acts with men or acts in general? Do you think both?
I mean, do you think she knows that if he's
fucking other women?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Maybe the only reason why the fact that she said
she was cooking at his house makes me think, I
mean that it might be a little bit more than casual, okay,
because you cooking a meal for someone. Okay, And this
could just be me projected, y'all know, me for someone
is very intimate. You're also cooking it at his house.
(12:31):
So I do think that there's a comfortability factor there
where she may be progressing to really like this man.
And I think that if that's the case, you have
to look at what the hell is that potential looks like?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Like is this something that you would be okay with?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Like, he ain't got bipolar medicine, but she got prepped
and then now you're thinking she no, Let's be very clear.
Can we talk about the delusion she went down the
rabbit hole of believing that, well, maybe he's just selling it.
Maybe he's slanging that prep in these streets. Girl, you
gotta take prep every day.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Girl, you just ain't.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Selling appeal to these motherfuckers. They're not get high off prep.
So I need you to not think that he out
here slanging prep pills.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Like, so I think you have to be real with
does this really bother you because you believe he may
be dealing with other men? Have you created a safe
space for him to be honest with you? Like, did
you immediately did you immediately see.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
That prep and be like, oh, nigga, Like on some
bulldog's voice type ship or are you someone that could
just be like, hey, we can dig together.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Just because he's doesn't mean doesn't.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
But I'm just saying, what level of comfortability have you created?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
To me?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
There's a level that he's showing you his medicine cabinet.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
But did he you know what? I think she's maybe she.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
All looked well, no, no, she said she snooped while
he was gone. But he's one day he showed me
his medicine cabinet, and I was like, okay.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Interesting.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
First of all, it was probably like OpEd he opened
this ship. And then she's like, oh the cabinet.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, I didn't know this, mirac I got this.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
And then like then it was fine, okay, balance, you
might be onto something.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He just went in there to grant, he went the
medicine bottles.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
He got away like she ain't. But I respect it,
you know.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I think.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
It's tough.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
I think regardless, And I was just having this conversation
with front of mine and just in general, yes, be selfish,
take care of yourself. Notice, at the end of the day,
no matter what he's taking, even if brace it could
be a preventative measure. As for the results and protect
yourself because really, at the end of the day, you
don't want to get called out in any sense at all,
(15:10):
and any sense and it's not Maybe it's not out
of malice. Maybe he's doing his best to try to
protect them, regardless if he's with men or not. Even though,
like you said, right, the reality is that something happens
to you, you're going to have to deal with it.
It don't matter what's in his medicine cabinet, is about
what's going to be in your medicine cabinet. If you
(15:31):
don't deal with that, you don't handlate very responsibly. It's
not about you being in the upper hand. It's not
about him doing some wax shit. It's about you figuring
out and making sure that you're okay at the end
of the day.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, I agree, I agree. I also think it's just
like I love what you just said about being selfish.
I think as women, we often bite.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Our ya y'all take care of us so much, but
also or not.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
The and the risk of ourselves being in danger sometimes.
I mean, oh, women are very delusional. But I think
when it comes to sex and talking about our health
that becomes difficult because we weren't taught how to do that,
our dumb asses millennials, and I don't know what gen
(16:18):
Z sex education looks like now, but we literally were
just taught abstinate or else you're gonna get pregnant and die.
So I think that there wasn't enough conversation about how
to realistically, without shame and without judgment, have a very
real conversation about health. Like, yes, if you are going
down on a man and you see something that don't
(16:40):
look right, bring your head back up.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
And be like, hey, what is this? I mean, maybe
not like that, but okay, but just maybe hey, you
don't want anything, so maybe just be like.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
This isn't the right time, this isn't the right moment,
and have the conversation later, ask for results, ask for
test results, to feel comfortable with these people.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
And again, medication.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Is there to help, But do you want to have
to be Do you want to have to.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Take medication for the rest of your life? With something else?
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Stop thinking about his, thinking about what might have to
be in yours if you don't take the right procedure,
because as a day, even though he might still be safe,
it could be a premitive measure. You can find yourself
in a really tough spot, unfortunately, unfortunately, and you don't
want to do that.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
You do not want to do that, I'm telling you now.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Yeah, So look out of his situation and really be selfish,
like Eddin said, and only.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Care about you, whether you like him or not. Gerder's
mode dicks in the sea, there's mouchies in the seed.
There's more.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
There are more options for you out here than to
be with someone who a may not be forthright about
his health or whatever else he's doing.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
When you're not around that hot and cold shit is
definitely a big red flag. No, I agree, a big
red flag. The biggest red flag.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yes to no, you don't date man niggas is hot
and cold.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
No, Like that's a normal when you're just dating someone,
or you're or you have a situationship, or you're just
having sex. Mind you, a lot of women often find
it difficult to communicate what type of relationship they want
from a man, so they're willing to just take whatever
communicating and they want more.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
No I'm talking about them, but I'm talking about that
he might be just putting his attentions oide of the woman.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Or I mean, you know what, I mean, it's not happening,
but that's what I'm saying. It's hot and cold. Could
literally be also her realizing that she's not getting what
she wants out of this relationship.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
I said that from the top.
Speaker 6 (18:39):
I said that from the top, it might not be
interested in you, and it might not be that sucks
for you. But Andrew, just take the safe route. Accept
the heart truth with your safety.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Accept the heart truth with your safety. That's our advice
to you.
Speaker 6 (18:54):
Hunt.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Now, make sure if you like to send in a
letter to you've got decisions, email us y'all. We need
to help y'all. Email us Decisions pod at gmail dot com.
Or if you'd like to submit a voicemail, send it
over to ninety seven three nine three two zero two
(19:16):
to seven.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
And we will help you out with your life. Baby,
We gonna help you out with your life. Anyways, Thank y'all.
If you are new here, I'm Mandy B.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You can follow me everywhere at Full Court Pumps and
also check me every Tuesday on my other podcast, Selective Ignorance.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
But if you want to see my words onto paper
and not really sounding like this, it sounds way more eloquent.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Make sure you.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Purchase No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto, Sexual Exploration and Power,
available now for pre order wherever you purchase your books.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
And get your tickets to come see us on tour
NHB tour dot com. Cannot wait to meet you all,
cannot wait to hug you all, cannot wait to feel
you all.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Pause, No, I didn't mean them, alright, alright.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Anyways, Thank you guys for another episode of You Got Decisions.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
See you guys next week
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