June 18, 2025 • 22 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throuffle, guess what You've got decisions.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You've got decisions. I've got decisions. We've got decisions.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Anger, guys, Happy humphday. As you know, this is our
second feed drop. We are so glad you're back again.
If you want to see what our faces look like,
if you want to see the video, and if you
don't want ads, all you got to do is go
to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and you can
see how sexy Mandy and I are in our house clothes.
(00:41):
That's the right.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And if you want us to answer your questions, go
on ahead and send us your question to decisions pod
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well we'll read it off to you.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Or if you're a patron, go ahead and send that because,
as y'all know, patrons have priority over here. Hun Anyways,
by this topic this week, it sounds like we are
literally speaking to an insecure man.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
What are the odds?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Oh no, not again, Jesus are our letter this week.
The subject line says, boyfriend wants me to unfollow all
men on.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Ig Here we go. Hi.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I have been seeing this guy since October of twenty
twenty four, and we have known each other since we
were eleven years old. We are twenty four now. There
was always tension with this guy, and we always flirted
and sometimes dated, but never to the point of a
real relationship like now now that he's my boyfriend. He
(01:46):
says he wants me to unfollow every single man except
for family on Instagram. This feels like a lot, and
it's rubbing me the wrong way because it's not like
I'm going to cheat. It just seems very insecure and
controlling to me. He'll probably think I'm cheating and stuff
if I tell him I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
What do you guys think? What should I do?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
By the way, he doesn't follow any women on Instagram
and is private. I am also private and don't hide
anything from him. Thank you love the show.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
By the way, well, I've been through so many things
with my homegirls wanting their boyfriends to unfollow women, and
every single time I tell them, they sound ridiculous. The
only thing I can empathize with is if you've dated
these dudes, I understand someone maybe not wanting you to
follow and keep up with and like have conversations with
(02:41):
someone used to fuck. I get that, even though that's
not what I think is healthy. I feel really sorry
for you because this is only step one in your
new relationship. And what's ended up gonna happen, Like, what's
gonna end up happening is you're gonna have a job
and you're gonna work with some men, and you're gonna
ends up growing networking. You could be young and in
(03:02):
school with different men, like men are going to cross
your path. What does this nigga expect you to put
your head down?
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'm gonna take I'm gonna take a line from our
good friends over at the read shout out to Crystal
and Fury Girl.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Break up with him.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Maybe this is something more suitable as a friendship. Y'all
have known each other since you were eleven. You guys
have flirted but never dated into a real relationship. And
baby girl, maybe this is why he has a lot
of things he has to work through. And to me,
I'll be honest with you, Okay, look at you about
to put something on him. I'll allowed to say I
(03:42):
think that nigga got offence to but maybe that's given
him too much credit. I know so many guys that
have fenced the accounts to literally follow women, to like
engage with women. I wouldn't doubt if there's a way
that he's still scrolling that way or maybe that's just
not what he.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Likes to do. I mean, I guess like the thing
is what is the okay? Is it men that you know?
Like what is the point? Because to me with the FENSA,
first of all, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
No, no, no, I'm saying maybe maybe he has.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
A fensta, like he don't get it. He's led that
he doesn't follow any women at all. And for me,
if if.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
He is also the type of guy I used the
first style and food like literally because I followed maybe
two thousand food pages, you know, like my whole other
algorithm got fucked up and I was like, oh, I
need to put this in streamline. Literally it's for food.
It's a blank thing with numbers. So maybe he's bitches
(04:45):
and I think he does, like yeah, like my nigga
don't have Instagram, but he's still be sending me memes
because he likes to use the app but doesn't like
to build the profile. So I think there's this thing
that can send my be phony. And I'll tell you this.
I have a few friends that don't have Instagram profiles,
but they like to use the app, me with TikTok.
I don't make tiktoks. I don't have a TikTok profile.
(05:07):
Maybe I do, I don't know, but I've never used it.
I just use it as a search engine, and a
lot of people use that for all social media platforms.
So I think he's probably trying to act like he's
some sort of Oh I don't do x y Z nigga,
you do it somewhere because how to Fuck You was
on my dick about it. I think that the purpose
of Instagram for most people is to have fun, to
(05:30):
engage with friends. I think a lot of single people
and some people that are in relationship sure like to
flirt on ig But it's the fear and the insecurity
of it, Like, what the fuck happened to this nigga
that you can't follow a man? I think that's really
weird shit.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I mean, I think it's also weird if he is
a man who doesn't have any female friendships. I think
for me, it's very telling for a guy who can't
have platonic relationships with women for whatever reason.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I think that's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And for me, you say in this email, it just
seems very insecure and controlling to me. I want to
tell you now, nobody seeks out an insecure or controlling partner.
You've been with this man since October of twenty twenty four,
which means you just now maybe hitting the eight month mark.
(06:28):
I would say, go ahead and maybe turn this back
into the friendship that it's been since y'all were eleven
years old.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
This is not the person for you.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And I think that we as women have to be
in positions where when we see the red flags, we
go ahead and say, I'm wasting my time. This isn't
my battle to fight. And let me tell you right now,
an insecure man will only get more insecure if he's insecure.
Right now, about the men that you just follow on
(06:59):
a social media platform, there's gonna be insecurities that arise.
Like Weezy said, if you're in a job and you
start working with men, or if you you know, go
to a restaurant and maybe the server is too nice
to you. Insecurities only heighten over time. And if he's
that insecure to where he wants you to unfollow everyone
(07:20):
on Instagram. I would say, let him go deal with
whatever traumas he is carrying and move on to someone else.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
This is I would not advise anybody to say, with
a man like this.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
You're gonna have a really hard time going through life
like this. Like, I don't know. I guess I've been fortunate.
I've of course run into scenarios with every partner on
how I engage with men, or having homeboys, or maybe
questions like those things come up. It's totally natural. All
of my women friends have the same thing, Like there's
always gonna be a conversation about boundaries things like that.
(07:52):
But this one in particular. None you can follow none.
I wanna be roll with you. I don't have many
niggas I follow because they're fine a shit, But I
have many men I follow because I admire their work.
I'm a fan of their content creation and or style.
Shit Like, I just don't understand how I can only
(08:13):
bruh comedians. You gotta unfollow keV on stage, Bitch, what
you're gonna do?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
No, Drewski, Like, really ask that nigga that, oh you
want me to be Yeah, ask if you gotta unfollow
Drew skiven A like drewski gotta go my Charlemagne and
the God Breakfast Club updates, gotta go. What am I
supposed to do if we realistically can't follow the opposite
sex in order to make our partner feel comfortable?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
What is then the next level? How much deeper does
it go? I mean? Really? Okay?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
So then let me ask you a question. Let's get
into some hypotheticals. If she's saying he's worried that I'm
gonna cheat or something, would a compromise be, Hey, these
people are in my algorithm and I like them?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Do you want my password? Like? No, why do we?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I mean because so so I and this is where
Because here's the thing too.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Let's be very clear.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Women will stay with some fucked up niggas just to.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Keep a nigga.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
So if if she's like, he's my boyfriend now, but
this is what he wants. We've talked about fucking compromises
and sacrifices, maybe she's not gonna enjoy the app at
all anymore because she's following people that she enjoys. So
she's like, I think he feels like, I'm using it
to cheat, and she said, I'm not going to cheat.
(09:35):
So in this essence, if you have nothing to hide,
could that not be a solution to make him feel
more comfortable if he then has access to see what
she's doing on the app, And then you're thinking of
I'm thinking of a compromise without just being like leave him,
because of course he's in the here she's gonna.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Say, so let me think of like a compromise. What
the hell? That's another unhealthy compromise, right. So the thing
about toxicity when it comes to things like this, where
you see a lot of control early on, you're only
trying to get around it by doing something else that's
super toxic to me, there shouldn't be a password exchange
to include to have trust. Now the only caveat, I
(10:19):
think to password exchange that I can understand and I
never did this, but I do get it. Let's just
say I'm on Instagram, my man cheats on me with
a girl he met on IG and he was maybe
messaging a lot of women in IG. Maybe then the
compromises if I stay with you, I have your password
(10:40):
or something, But then you only turn into this person
that is constantly checking, or niggas won't wait till you
sleep and do the disappearing message. It's like they will
find a way. Niggas will find a way. We'll tell
you right now. I really hope she'll come on one day.
I have a friend. We're not like friend friends, but
we'll have dinner every once in a blue in La
and she'll always filde and right now her man has
(11:01):
her location. She was like, bitch, I'll lead a phone
at home like a breath. She's like, I'll lead a
phone at home. I'll find a way to put it
on the laptop because I want to see my side nigga.
And she's really funny because she'd be like dead as
saying this now. Her nigga's like sugar daddy type who
just pays her bills, right. But the point is that
girl found a way double the phone. Like you want
to get fucked, you want.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
To Doubling a phone is insane if you have to
go to the links of doubling your phone and leaving
it at.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Home, Like just leave the whoever you're fucking with, Bruh.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
What are niggas paying your bill? I think you do
what you gotta do.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
But nigga is only paying my bills and not like
my actual exclusive partner. No, bro, there's to me there
could be unhealthy and controlling sugar daddy transactional relationships too.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I mean, listen, I didn't say my friend wasn't toxic,
but the bitch is. You know, it's funny, and I
brought it up just to make a point of like,
if you want to do it, you'll do it. So
that's why I don't believe in password exchange. I never have.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
So then what would be your answer, outside of leaving
this actually think you aren't you can do in order
to save this relationship is say no.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Here's why this is a very strange thing to remove
all of the opposite sex from something that's a social
media account. These aren't text messages, these aren't homeboys. I
in my opinion, I think you have to fight back
and set a boundary for yourself because you're gonna end
up being controlled. This may sound like it's not a
(12:42):
big deal to you, because let's just say, you're the
type of girls. I don't really use ig I don't
know the niggas anyway, I don't care. To me, it's
ridiculous because he's starting the relationship with a piece of
control and un these circumstances that aren't necessarily required or
very normal interacting with the opposite sex as a part
of our everyday life. I don't know what, but fuck town.
(13:03):
You could possibly live in where it won't happen, but
there's no way, so I would push back and literally
use that example of let's talk about where this comes from.
Have a mature conversation. If I think wiping men out
of a social media feed sounds more than what it is,
tell me why you want me to do this. Is
there something that happened to you in a previous relationship
(13:24):
that you feel like I may do because this won't
solve it. I'll still walk outside and see a man somewhere.
So what should my interactions look like with men that
will make you feel comfortable? Second to that a great question?
Do I unfollow Druski? A real shit bro like every
nick like I and Maandy? I'm maybe other women wouldn't,
(13:48):
but I do understand someone saying unfollow bitches that you
might have dated. I get it. I want to talk
about on the flip side, women that do this. A
friend of mine has been dating a guy for a year,
he was not unfollowing ig models. She was very upset
about it. I may have brought it up on a
previous episode last year, did I it's possible I'm liking
(14:10):
photos of blonde girls and she wasn't blonde. Do you
remember that? Yeah, it's okay. This is the same person
and she hates it he follows models. But I'm like, bruh,
you got in a relationship with a nigga following seventeen
hundred people. I guarantee you it's just a click, click
click thing. And my thing I was telling her was like,
(14:30):
your nigga's got a private page. Not that he is ugly,
but like these bitches are blue Chat and India Love.
Ain't worried about your nigga, Like why do we really care?
And so to me, noah, my homegirl who's been cheated on,
I get it. It always comes from somewhere. But I
tried to explain to her, like I feel like you're
almost policing him just going on the internet a little bit.
(14:53):
And that's the thing. If someone hasn't proven they've been
irresponsible or unloyal dishonest to you, you in your relationship, Nah, I.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Mean, but I think, but I think that that's why
I said he he should absolutely like and I you're
twenty four, so you're young. I want to tell you
there's so many more god damn fishing to see. But
that's why I said he needs to go and work
on whatever trauma, because the same way your homegirl is
clearly projecting her insecurities because she's been cheated on.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
It could be that, or.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I'm curious as to if if they've known each other
since eleven, if they've had some sort of friendship. I'm
also curious to know if she's over shared. I say
that because maybe there was a part of this friendship
where you met a guy on Instagram or you fucked
people off Instagram and you shared those interactions with him
(15:52):
to where that's what's in his head. I mean, for me, like,
I meet people on Instagram, so I I could see
if my partner felt a way about seeing me in
the likes of other actors or other racers.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
And things that look like him.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Because baby, I'm proud of how I liked a couple
of pictures and.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
You know he slid in my hams.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
So knowing that he knows that Instagram has been used
as my way of shooting my shot, especially through liked pictures.
I would be curious to know if maybe you've also
overshared how you roll on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
As an app.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I mean, if you can look at Instagram, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
So for me, you I get how you view Instagram
as this place where you scroll find recipes and it's
a scrolling thing.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I don't do dating apps, but I've definitely gotten hell
of dick and partnership off of Instagram as the dating
app and as the dating app of my choice, and
so to lean into that, I can see why it's
not just ig ig could be a hey, delete tender
(17:05):
off your phone, Hey delete hinge off your phone. To me,
if someone wrote us in saying that, we would absolutely
be like, yeah, bitch, delete that off your phone. Which
is why I want to turn Instagram into the dating
app that it could potentially be used as.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
So here's the caveat. I don't agree, because so I
go on girls' Nights to Last Lap, a bar in
New York. You know I met my exit last Lap.
I'm just making sure and I fuck a bunch of
bitches from Last Lap. That part's true. Whatever, so now
I can't go to last lap anymore. Are you in
(17:42):
a relationship with someone that you're gonna trust because the
girl now can't navigate Instagram because she met you on there.
Imagine if your partner said that to you just because you,
oh bitch and did.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Like we had the conversation about me going into the
sex club, me talking about guys being in there that
I had had any sort of interaction.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
With and it being a thing. But no, like that
was the thing I had to say.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I do think the sex feels a little different.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
I mean not really if I walk into it.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Well then and I changed it.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
I said, if I go into a goddamn party and
a nigga is there that I fucked, you can't get
mad because a nigga's in there that I fucked.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I had a life before you.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So that's why I brought up that if Instagram is
being used as a dating app, that would be the
only reason I could give him a pass on his
insecurity of her still navigating it. However she does if
she's used it that way in the past, which is
why I said, we would excuse hinge, we would excuse tender,
(18:38):
we would excuse bumble because if partner being like delete
those Sure, that's why I'm saying, I use Instagram the
same way y'all niggas use hinge, bumble field and all.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
That has a dating purpose. But like that's the thing
I mean, I think that's playing Devil's advocate. I think
we all all know deleting and just way different from
making someone to lead a social media profile only.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
If But that's what I'm saying, No, no, no, no, I'm
I'm including.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
The details that if she has.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Used Instagram to find partners in Dick, then she is
using it is more than just a social media app.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
She's using it as a platform to meet partners.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
But I I mean, unless your profile is looking for love,
no like. But this is also the thing about having
trust in people and talking about boundaries and what's required
before relationship starts. So you're writing us at the time
where this is happening, and hopefully this episode comes out
before you talk to this niggas beach No, that's ally
(19:44):
no or.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
What's gonna happen is she's gonna stay with him, She's
gonna get our book, No holds barred, and see that
she stayed too long because girl, you're twenty four years
You're twenty four years old.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
You seeing eight months in seeing the.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Red flags wave, seeing the controlling behavior, seeing the insecurity,
you deciding to say, I ain't gonna hold your sis.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
You can only be mad at yourself the same past
this one bit.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Let me tell my homegirl to look at this shit
right now because me and her arguing about her, Nigga,
I'm not even playing with y'all. I just jumped on
my phone. What fucking pages is that, bitch?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
That's the chapter. That's the chapter. That's the chapter.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
And if you haven't yet, make sure you pre oughta
our book, No Holds bart a dual manifesto of sexual
exploration and power.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I'm not sure if you guys.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Been listening and really know what's going on, but we
created a masterclass around the book.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
We know you niggas like free shit, right, So we said, okay,
we got.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Them ordering a book that don't come out till June
twenty fourth, not gonna get today house till then, So
what can we give them to kind of hold them
over till the book release? And we created this master
class that is broken down into the same sections of
the book you're going to learn some things about the book.
I take you through the dungeon that has actually talked
about in the chapter Can I Put Your Penis in
(21:11):
a cage? Weezy sits down with the matchmaker Maria that
was just on a recent episode, and she also talks
about financial help from her sugar daddy. So there's like
some financial worksheets in there. There's playlists to get over
a fuck nigga. The listener that's listening to our feedback
(21:31):
right now, when and if you break up with this man,
I got a playlist for you.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
In our masterclass. Oh God.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
All you have to do is go to our Instagram page.
It's at Underscore Decisions Decisions. Click the link in our
bio and it literally says Masterclass form. All you have
to do is upload a proof of purchase, so a
screenshot of your email showing that you purchase no holds barred,
and you'll automatically to get an email sent to you
(22:01):
with a one time use code to access the masterclass.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
So make sure y'all do that.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
We excited that we was able to get it to
y'all or whatever, but also continue to send your letters
in to you got Decisions email us Decisions pod at
gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Hopefully we helped you. Hopefully you got that.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
The final message of this shit is girte just leave him,
leave him and get you a new one.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Get you a new one is the theme of every
letter anyway. Get you a new one, and ask about Drewski.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yes, all right, thank y'all for tuning in, and we'll
see y'all next Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Bye. Hey,
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throuffle, guess what You've got decisions.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You've got decisions. I've got decisions. We've got decisions.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Anger, guys, Happy humphday. As you know, this is our
second feed drop. We are so glad you're back again.
If you want to see what our faces look like,
if you want to see the video, and if you
don't want ads, all you got to do is go
to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and you can
see how sexy Mandy and I are in our house clothes.
(00:41):
That's the right.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And if you want us to answer your questions, go
on ahead and send us your question to decisions pod
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well we'll read it off to you.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Or if you're a patron, go ahead and send that because,
as y'all know, patrons have priority over here. Hun Anyways,
by this topic this week, it sounds like we are
literally speaking to an insecure man.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
What are the odds?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Oh no, not again, Jesus are our letter this week.
The subject line says, boyfriend wants me to unfollow all
men on.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Ig Here we go. Hi.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I have been seeing this guy since October of twenty
twenty four, and we have known each other since we
were eleven years old. We are twenty four now. There
was always tension with this guy, and we always flirted
and sometimes dated, but never to the point of a
real relationship like now now that he's my boyfriend. He
(01:46):
says he wants me to unfollow every single man except
for family on Instagram. This feels like a lot, and
it's rubbing me the wrong way because it's not like
I'm going to cheat. It just seems very insecure and
controlling to me. He'll probably think I'm cheating and stuff
if I tell him I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
What do you guys think? What should I do?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
By the way, he doesn't follow any women on Instagram
and is private. I am also private and don't hide
anything from him. Thank you love the show.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
By the way, well, I've been through so many things
with my homegirls wanting their boyfriends to unfollow women, and
every single time I tell them, they sound ridiculous. The
only thing I can empathize with is if you've dated
these dudes, I understand someone maybe not wanting you to
follow and keep up with and like have conversations with
(02:41):
someone used to fuck. I get that, even though that's
not what I think is healthy. I feel really sorry
for you because this is only step one in your
new relationship. And what's ended up gonna happen, Like, what's
gonna end up happening is you're gonna have a job
and you're gonna work with some men, and you're gonna
ends up growing networking. You could be young and in
(03:02):
school with different men, like men are going to cross
your path. What does this nigga expect you to put
your head down?
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'm gonna take I'm gonna take a line from our
good friends over at the read shout out to Crystal
and Fury Girl.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Break up with him.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Maybe this is something more suitable as a friendship. Y'all
have known each other since you were eleven. You guys
have flirted but never dated into a real relationship. And
baby girl, maybe this is why he has a lot
of things he has to work through. And to me,
I'll be honest with you, Okay, look at you about
to put something on him. I'll allowed to say I
(03:42):
think that nigga got offence to but maybe that's given
him too much credit. I know so many guys that
have fenced the accounts to literally follow women, to like
engage with women. I wouldn't doubt if there's a way
that he's still scrolling that way or maybe that's just
not what he.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Likes to do. I mean, I guess like the thing
is what is the okay? Is it men that you know?
Like what is the point? Because to me with the FENSA,
first of all, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
No, no, no, I'm saying maybe maybe he has.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
A fensta, like he don't get it. He's led that
he doesn't follow any women at all. And for me,
if if.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
He is also the type of guy I used the
first style and food like literally because I followed maybe
two thousand food pages, you know, like my whole other
algorithm got fucked up and I was like, oh, I
need to put this in streamline. Literally it's for food.
It's a blank thing with numbers. So maybe he's bitches
(04:45):
and I think he does, like yeah, like my nigga
don't have Instagram, but he's still be sending me memes
because he likes to use the app but doesn't like
to build the profile. So I think there's this thing
that can send my be phony. And I'll tell you this.
I have a few friends that don't have Instagram profiles,
but they like to use the app, me with TikTok.
I don't make tiktoks. I don't have a TikTok profile.
(05:07):
Maybe I do, I don't know, but I've never used it.
I just use it as a search engine, and a
lot of people use that for all social media platforms.
So I think he's probably trying to act like he's
some sort of Oh I don't do x y Z nigga,
you do it somewhere because how to Fuck You was
on my dick about it. I think that the purpose
of Instagram for most people is to have fun, to
(05:30):
engage with friends. I think a lot of single people
and some people that are in relationship sure like to
flirt on ig But it's the fear and the insecurity
of it, Like, what the fuck happened to this nigga
that you can't follow a man? I think that's really
weird shit.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I mean, I think it's also weird if he is
a man who doesn't have any female friendships. I think
for me, it's very telling for a guy who can't
have platonic relationships with women for whatever reason.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I think that's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And for me, you say in this email, it just
seems very insecure and controlling to me. I want to
tell you now, nobody seeks out an insecure or controlling partner.
You've been with this man since October of twenty twenty four,
which means you just now maybe hitting the eight month mark.
(06:28):
I would say, go ahead and maybe turn this back
into the friendship that it's been since y'all were eleven
years old.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
This is not the person for you.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And I think that we as women have to be
in positions where when we see the red flags, we
go ahead and say, I'm wasting my time. This isn't
my battle to fight. And let me tell you right now,
an insecure man will only get more insecure if he's insecure.
Right now, about the men that you just follow on
(06:59):
a social media platform, there's gonna be insecurities that arise.
Like Weezy said, if you're in a job and you
start working with men, or if you you know, go
to a restaurant and maybe the server is too nice
to you. Insecurities only heighten over time. And if he's
that insecure to where he wants you to unfollow everyone
(07:20):
on Instagram. I would say, let him go deal with
whatever traumas he is carrying and move on to someone else.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
This is I would not advise anybody to say, with
a man like this.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
You're gonna have a really hard time going through life
like this. Like, I don't know. I guess I've been fortunate.
I've of course run into scenarios with every partner on
how I engage with men, or having homeboys, or maybe
questions like those things come up. It's totally natural. All
of my women friends have the same thing, Like there's
always gonna be a conversation about boundaries things like that.
(07:52):
But this one in particular. None you can follow none.
I wanna be roll with you. I don't have many
niggas I follow because they're fine a shit, But I
have many men I follow because I admire their work.
I'm a fan of their content creation and or style.
Shit Like, I just don't understand how I can only
(08:13):
bruh comedians. You gotta unfollow keV on stage, Bitch, what
you're gonna do?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
No, Drewski, Like, really ask that nigga that, oh you
want me to be Yeah, ask if you gotta unfollow
Drew skiven A like drewski gotta go my Charlemagne and
the God Breakfast Club updates, gotta go. What am I
supposed to do if we realistically can't follow the opposite
sex in order to make our partner feel comfortable?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
What is then the next level? How much deeper does
it go? I mean? Really? Okay?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
So then let me ask you a question. Let's get
into some hypotheticals. If she's saying he's worried that I'm
gonna cheat or something, would a compromise be, Hey, these
people are in my algorithm and I like them?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Do you want my password? Like? No, why do we?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I mean because so so I and this is where
Because here's the thing too.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Let's be very clear.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Women will stay with some fucked up niggas just to.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Keep a nigga.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
So if if she's like, he's my boyfriend now, but
this is what he wants. We've talked about fucking compromises
and sacrifices, maybe she's not gonna enjoy the app at
all anymore because she's following people that she enjoys. So
she's like, I think he feels like, I'm using it
to cheat, and she said, I'm not going to cheat.
(09:35):
So in this essence, if you have nothing to hide,
could that not be a solution to make him feel
more comfortable if he then has access to see what
she's doing on the app, And then you're thinking of
I'm thinking of a compromise without just being like leave him,
because of course he's in the here she's gonna.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Say, so let me think of like a compromise. What
the hell? That's another unhealthy compromise, right. So the thing
about toxicity when it comes to things like this, where
you see a lot of control early on, you're only
trying to get around it by doing something else that's
super toxic to me, there shouldn't be a password exchange
to include to have trust. Now the only caveat, I
(10:19):
think to password exchange that I can understand and I
never did this, but I do get it. Let's just
say I'm on Instagram, my man cheats on me with
a girl he met on IG and he was maybe
messaging a lot of women in IG. Maybe then the
compromises if I stay with you, I have your password
(10:40):
or something, But then you only turn into this person
that is constantly checking, or niggas won't wait till you
sleep and do the disappearing message. It's like they will
find a way. Niggas will find a way. We'll tell
you right now. I really hope she'll come on one day.
I have a friend. We're not like friend friends, but
we'll have dinner every once in a blue in La
and she'll always filde and right now her man has
(11:01):
her location. She was like, bitch, I'll lead a phone
at home like a breath. She's like, I'll lead a
phone at home. I'll find a way to put it
on the laptop because I want to see my side nigga.
And she's really funny because she'd be like dead as
saying this now. Her nigga's like sugar daddy type who
just pays her bills, right. But the point is that
girl found a way double the phone. Like you want
to get fucked, you want.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
To Doubling a phone is insane if you have to
go to the links of doubling your phone and leaving
it at.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Home, Like just leave the whoever you're fucking with, Bruh.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
What are niggas paying your bill? I think you do
what you gotta do.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
But nigga is only paying my bills and not like
my actual exclusive partner. No, bro, there's to me there
could be unhealthy and controlling sugar daddy transactional relationships too.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I mean, listen, I didn't say my friend wasn't toxic,
but the bitch is. You know, it's funny, and I
brought it up just to make a point of like,
if you want to do it, you'll do it. So
that's why I don't believe in password exchange. I never have.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
So then what would be your answer, outside of leaving
this actually think you aren't you can do in order
to save this relationship is say no.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Here's why this is a very strange thing to remove
all of the opposite sex from something that's a social
media account. These aren't text messages, these aren't homeboys. I
in my opinion, I think you have to fight back
and set a boundary for yourself because you're gonna end
up being controlled. This may sound like it's not a
(12:42):
big deal to you, because let's just say, you're the
type of girls. I don't really use ig I don't
know the niggas anyway, I don't care. To me, it's
ridiculous because he's starting the relationship with a piece of
control and un these circumstances that aren't necessarily required or
very normal interacting with the opposite sex as a part
of our everyday life. I don't know what, but fuck town.
(13:03):
You could possibly live in where it won't happen, but
there's no way, so I would push back and literally
use that example of let's talk about where this comes from.
Have a mature conversation. If I think wiping men out
of a social media feed sounds more than what it is,
tell me why you want me to do this. Is
there something that happened to you in a previous relationship
(13:24):
that you feel like I may do because this won't
solve it. I'll still walk outside and see a man somewhere.
So what should my interactions look like with men that
will make you feel comfortable? Second to that a great question?
Do I unfollow Druski? A real shit bro like every
nick like I and Maandy? I'm maybe other women wouldn't,
(13:48):
but I do understand someone saying unfollow bitches that you
might have dated. I get it. I want to talk
about on the flip side, women that do this. A
friend of mine has been dating a guy for a year,
he was not unfollowing ig models. She was very upset
about it. I may have brought it up on a
previous episode last year, did I it's possible I'm liking
(14:10):
photos of blonde girls and she wasn't blonde. Do you
remember that? Yeah, it's okay. This is the same person
and she hates it he follows models. But I'm like, bruh,
you got in a relationship with a nigga following seventeen
hundred people. I guarantee you it's just a click, click
click thing. And my thing I was telling her was like,
(14:30):
your nigga's got a private page. Not that he is ugly,
but like these bitches are blue Chat and India Love.
Ain't worried about your nigga, Like why do we really care?
And so to me, noah, my homegirl who's been cheated on,
I get it. It always comes from somewhere. But I
tried to explain to her, like I feel like you're
almost policing him just going on the internet a little bit.
(14:53):
And that's the thing. If someone hasn't proven they've been
irresponsible or unloyal dishonest to you, you in your relationship, Nah, I.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Mean, but I think, but I think that that's why
I said he he should absolutely like and I you're
twenty four, so you're young. I want to tell you
there's so many more god damn fishing to see. But
that's why I said he needs to go and work
on whatever trauma, because the same way your homegirl is
clearly projecting her insecurities because she's been cheated on.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
It could be that, or.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I'm curious as to if if they've known each other
since eleven, if they've had some sort of friendship. I'm
also curious to know if she's over shared. I say
that because maybe there was a part of this friendship
where you met a guy on Instagram or you fucked
people off Instagram and you shared those interactions with him
(15:52):
to where that's what's in his head. I mean, for me, like,
I meet people on Instagram, so I I could see
if my partner felt a way about seeing me in
the likes of other actors or other racers.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
And things that look like him.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Because baby, I'm proud of how I liked a couple
of pictures and.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
You know he slid in my hams.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
So knowing that he knows that Instagram has been used
as my way of shooting my shot, especially through liked pictures.
I would be curious to know if maybe you've also
overshared how you roll on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
As an app.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I mean, if you can look at Instagram, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
So for me, you I get how you view Instagram
as this place where you scroll find recipes and it's
a scrolling thing.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I don't do dating apps, but I've definitely gotten hell
of dick and partnership off of Instagram as the dating
app and as the dating app of my choice, and
so to lean into that, I can see why it's
not just ig ig could be a hey, delete tender
(17:05):
off your phone, Hey delete hinge off your phone. To me,
if someone wrote us in saying that, we would absolutely
be like, yeah, bitch, delete that off your phone. Which
is why I want to turn Instagram into the dating
app that it could potentially be used as.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
So here's the caveat. I don't agree, because so I
go on girls' Nights to Last Lap, a bar in
New York. You know I met my exit last Lap.
I'm just making sure and I fuck a bunch of
bitches from Last Lap. That part's true. Whatever, so now
I can't go to last lap anymore. Are you in
(17:42):
a relationship with someone that you're gonna trust because the
girl now can't navigate Instagram because she met you on there.
Imagine if your partner said that to you just because you,
oh bitch and did.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Like we had the conversation about me going into the
sex club, me talking about guys being in there that
I had had any sort of interaction.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
With and it being a thing. But no, like that
was the thing I had to say.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I do think the sex feels a little different.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
I mean not really if I walk into it.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Well then and I changed it.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
I said, if I go into a goddamn party and
a nigga is there that I fucked, you can't get
mad because a nigga's in there that I fucked.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I had a life before you.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So that's why I brought up that if Instagram is
being used as a dating app, that would be the
only reason I could give him a pass on his
insecurity of her still navigating it. However she does if
she's used it that way in the past, which is
why I said, we would excuse hinge, we would excuse tender,
(18:38):
we would excuse bumble because if partner being like delete
those Sure, that's why I'm saying, I use Instagram the
same way y'all niggas use hinge, bumble field and all.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
That has a dating purpose. But like that's the thing
I mean, I think that's playing Devil's advocate. I think
we all all know deleting and just way different from
making someone to lead a social media profile only.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
If But that's what I'm saying, No, no, no, no, I'm
I'm including.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
The details that if she has.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Used Instagram to find partners in Dick, then she is
using it is more than just a social media app.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
She's using it as a platform to meet partners.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
But I I mean, unless your profile is looking for love,
no like. But this is also the thing about having
trust in people and talking about boundaries and what's required
before relationship starts. So you're writing us at the time
where this is happening, and hopefully this episode comes out
before you talk to this niggas beach No, that's ally
(19:44):
no or.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
What's gonna happen is she's gonna stay with him, She's
gonna get our book, No holds barred, and see that
she stayed too long because girl, you're twenty four years
You're twenty four years old.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
You seeing eight months in seeing the.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Red flags wave, seeing the controlling behavior, seeing the insecurity,
you deciding to say, I ain't gonna hold your sis.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
You can only be mad at yourself the same past
this one bit.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Let me tell my homegirl to look at this shit
right now because me and her arguing about her, Nigga,
I'm not even playing with y'all. I just jumped on
my phone. What fucking pages is that, bitch?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
That's the chapter. That's the chapter. That's the chapter.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
And if you haven't yet, make sure you pre oughta
our book, No Holds bart a dual manifesto of sexual
exploration and power.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I'm not sure if you guys.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Been listening and really know what's going on, but we
created a masterclass around the book.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
We know you niggas like free shit, right, So we said, okay,
we got.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Them ordering a book that don't come out till June
twenty fourth, not gonna get today house till then, So
what can we give them to kind of hold them
over till the book release? And we created this master
class that is broken down into the same sections of
the book you're going to learn some things about the book.
I take you through the dungeon that has actually talked
about in the chapter Can I Put Your Penis in
(21:11):
a cage? Weezy sits down with the matchmaker Maria that
was just on a recent episode, and she also talks
about financial help from her sugar daddy. So there's like
some financial worksheets in there. There's playlists to get over
a fuck nigga. The listener that's listening to our feedback
(21:31):
right now, when and if you break up with this man,
I got a playlist for you.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
In our masterclass. Oh God.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
All you have to do is go to our Instagram page.
It's at Underscore Decisions Decisions. Click the link in our
bio and it literally says Masterclass form. All you have
to do is upload a proof of purchase, so a
screenshot of your email showing that you purchase no holds barred,
and you'll automatically to get an email sent to you
(22:01):
with a one time use code to access the masterclass.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
So make sure y'all do that.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
We excited that we was able to get it to
y'all or whatever, but also continue to send your letters
in to you got Decisions email us Decisions pod at
gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Hopefully we helped you. Hopefully you got that.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
The final message of this shit is girte just leave him,
leave him and get you a new one.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Get you a new one is the theme of every
letter anyway. Get you a new one, and ask about Drewski.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yes, all right, thank y'all for tuning in, and we'll
see y'all next Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Bye. Hey,
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