June 25, 2025 • 21 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got decisions.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
You've got decisions, baby, and I do too.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Oh my god, guys, I wish you could delete that.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Well. I am just trying to come up with a
jingle because I came my decisions ding. I mean, I
can do that too, But that's not a jingle. Like
the way these jingles be making money. Do you know
how much money fucking justin Timberlake made from the goddamn
McDonald's jingle, Like there is.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Maybe any money.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
There is some money in jingles, hunt and so if
anybody want to use my jingles, baby, go ahead and
keep that check.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Talking about you bringing up justin Timberlake, someone was bringing
them up yesterday and I said, oh my god, I'm
gonna go see the Backstreet boys in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Oh you're embarrassed. You would be, you would be some who.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I said, You're no longer welcome because what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Oh you should see? I am my boy was the era.
No bitch, it does no, no, no, no, no no no.
I am very highly disappointed, like very.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I literally am doing this thing with my friends where
I play like five seconds of the intro of a
Backstreet Voice song and they have to know the song otherwise, no, bitch,
you're not welcome. Oh you're gonna go oh bitch, duh.
It's literally the weekend of our goddamn Vegas show. That's
why when you were like, you were like, do we
have to go to Vegas? Oh? Yeah, bitch, wor hive
(01:35):
anyone listening right now if you guys want to join
us in Las Vegas. We finally got a Saturday show
a HB tour dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I'm looking to do some little.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Where that's Sunday. That Sunday is the Backstreet Boys concert.
So maybe that's given bring your ass to Vegas, plan
to be a whole Friday, Saturday Sunday. But Sunday we
going to see the motherfucking Backstreet Boys at the Spear.
Saturday you getting your holes barred, all of them at
(02:09):
the No Holes Barred Tour. And then Friday is where
you could just be a houll hole because you just
landed and do the drugs all you want.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, that it's in the sphere.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I keep trying to figure out do I get fucked
up on shrooms or not? Do I want to have
them bring out like the medical wheelchair or not? Because
it's a very overwhelming thing if you take a look
at it. Anybody googles the Las Vegas Spear craziest production
Like it's basically a globe you sit in and it
just washes over you.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm telling you, I don't know what BSB boy to do,
but I mean all all I know is I'm I'm
hyped to see them whites, Okay, And I know I
don't speak heavily of them very often on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Y'all know, I just raved about Jake Jillenhall.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
But y'all, y'all have known my love for him already,
so god to see him and y'all know, I mean
not that to my own horn, but AJ has actually
sung me Happy Birthday personally, So oh, let's right out.
I'm right, I'm gonna hear AJ like, Hey, I know
the one knows, like, hey, let me get back stage, real, Craick,
let me say hot to the month?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Meane did duntil? Okay? Anyway, we're gonna start off with
a quick one.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
We're gonna we're gonna drop y'all a quick two piece
this Wednesday, just because one is like, girl, come on,
we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna help you out, but
there's not much to say.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
And then the next one is a little bit more vanilla.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
So this first one, by the way, if you want
us to answer your questions, go ahead and email us
Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. This first one is
titled I Can't Get My Nut. Hey, y'all, I'm a
twenty one year old lesbian college student, still a virgin,
and I've never really had a good experience with masturbation.
(04:02):
I just started for the first time ever. Recently, I've
tried to use my fingers, a bullet, and even the
rose toy, but I haven't felt much pleasure or ever
reached an orgasm. I enjoy watching porn that's made with
the female gaze in mind. Something actually feels intimate and
focuses on women's pleasure.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
And it definitely turns me on mentally.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
But I've never been able to physically make myself feel good.
I've been numerous Oh I've been nervous about trying a
dial dough since I'm worried it might be painful. Any
tips on how to get more comfortable with my body
and hopefully start enjoying the experience more and most importantly
getting my first nuts.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Well, a deal more woe in you is a little
too advanced.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, especially if you're identifying as a lesbian and probably
haven't had any sort of penetration.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I'm not sure if.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
That is what I would recommend off the top. However,
I do actually have a chapter about this. How can
I expect you to please me if I can't please myself?
It's the first chapter in No Holds Barred. And the
crazy thing about it is a lot of us often
assume that in masturbation, in order to receive pleasure it
(05:18):
has to be insertion in vagina or playing of the clip,
And the fact of the matter is you could have
so many other like orogenous zones on you that could
cause you to orgasm. I don't know if you've guys
gone back through the catalog, but I remember talking about
(05:38):
receiving an ear orgasm on the podcast because this guy
just breathed in my ear in bitch, my whole body,
baby was fucking clay for me.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I had a Yoni massage like a Volva massage, without
fingers inside of me was just literally the outer area
of my vagina no clatorial stimulation hither. And I don't
know if we're exploring enough on our own bodies before masturbation.
So the first thing I was thinking and you said that,
I was like, oh girl, nice music, Dimly light your
(06:11):
room and oil your body up and just touch different
places to feel your body yep like and being.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Sometimes we're not comfortable with our body all the way.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I just really like went through some crazy weight changes
with switching birth control and whatever and feeling uncomfortable. I
realized I hadn't touched my stomach and my hips in
like a month because I just hated looking at them.
And then finally when I did it a few nights ago,
I was like, oh my god, like it's been so
long since I've touched my own body because I've just
(06:42):
been uncomfortable in it.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Like we've got to.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
And I think that brain is one that doesn't understand
their body, Like you need to figure out how to
touch yourself slowly, how to use your nails, just how
to be more playful. But when it comes to penetrative toys,
I've never really heard anyone say they used those before
actual penetrative sex with man or women, because you may
never I mean, you're lesbian, so just penetrative sex with
(07:07):
a man probably won't happen.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
It will happen with a woman.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
So if you'd like to lose your virginity with a
woman in that way, I would wait until you get there, like,
just practice first, knowing your vagina out. I would say,
there's nothing wrong though, if you want to use the
deal though, just to prepare yourself if you plan to
get strapped by another woman, like, I don't see I
(07:33):
don't see that being a bad thing, because to be fair,
I'm I feel like one of God's chosen, but only
because I also like dick. I orgasm through penetration, like
I've talked about on this pod, not really enjoying like
oral sex as much.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
And only really being.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Able to come like with my clip by myself honestly,
but I come so hard with penetration, and maybe that
could be you as well. I mean, even though you're
you're lesbian, you can absolutely still enjoy the pleasure of
penetration through a dildo or a strap or any of
the other toys that are present too. I'm not against
(08:11):
that I do like what Weezy said and feeling your
whole body. And I just want to add one more
tip if you're worried about the the painfulness that may
come with a dildo because you haven't been penetrated. This
is gonna sound weird, but one of the ways that
I come the hardest, and it's because I am such
(08:31):
more of a visual.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
And psychological masturbator. While I'm watching porn, I talk and
make noises.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
So I direct the people or I act like they're
my partner and I'm receiving pleasure from watching them in
the act. So I kind of role play while watching porn,
and that turns me on so much.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Just talking.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I moan hearing myself, just hearing myself, which is ironic
because I fucking for a living and I know some
of y'all are sick.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Of hearing me.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
But hearing myself like guide the people in porn as
if I'm in the room is something that almost immediately
makes me come. And so I know we talk about
sex in the physical way, there's a way that you
can masturbate psychologically that will make you fucking come and
bitch go straight to sleep.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's how I go to sleep almost every night, so
that would be my second.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Be some more sexuality going on with yourself with your head,
Like most people that are masturbating often and doing it
successfully are kind of practicing sexual thoughts more than others.
Like most times that I'm hearing women go through scenarios
like this, they aren't necessarily thinking about sex as often.
(09:49):
And not finding themselves as horny doesn't mean you aren't horny.
It just means, like it may not be top of mine.
You actually really do have to dedicate time to finding
out what you like because we pushed sex aside a
lot in a relationship and with ourselves. Like I can't
tell you the last time I'm masturbated. I just haven't
set out time to do it. I haven't been thinking
(10:10):
about it has nothing to do with the fact that
I have a boyfriend. We should one hundred percent still
be you know, pleasing ourselves. So I think we all
just kind of like slip up.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Well, I hope that we were able to help you
or anyone else facing this problem. We're gonna go to
this second one. We're gonna make it a little bit
more vanilla and not so sex based, but Hopefully this
relates to some of you guys listening to Hi Weezy
(10:40):
and Mandy, hoping you both could share some insight around
being the only entrepreneur friend. For context, I'm taking over
my mom's business and because she's from a different generation,
that has meant full rebranding, new marketing, finding new accounts,
et cetera. It's been so much work on my part,
but super reward and I'm so excited about the future
(11:01):
and what we're building. I just found out my three
best friends are doing a euro trip without me, and
although I've come to be okay with being the friend
that can't always attend things, I also can't help but
feeling like I'm missing out and at the same time,
none of them understand this chapter I'm in right now
since I'm the only entrepreneur friend. Any advice on dealing
(11:23):
with this is so appreciated. Did you deal with this
while growing your businesses?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Hmm? With gratitude? And that's the question. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
If I ever dealt with oh, I guess, yeah, I
guess right now. But mostly my LA friends they're like
newer friends. I think they need like more availability for me.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
They don't want to bother me like friends feel like
they're putting pressure on me. And sometimes.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I think it also depends, like, Okay, we've all been there,
every single person. I have a bunch friends I haven't
called in weeks or months, But at the same time,
we're both not putting in the effort. That doesn't really
mean they go anywhere. Sometimes things can be like seasonal.
Me and Vinnie just realized we hadn't been on a
FaceTime in a month and we just made the time
(12:16):
to do it.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
We're tattooed on each other twice.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
That doesn't mean this isn't my brother, or I didn't
put him inside of no hol's barred, like I love Anny,
but we just go through moments. People go through moments
where they kind of just forget. And I think if
you haven't been keeping up with your friends. Now, if
you were with these bitches doing brunch every Sunday and
then they left you out, that's a different story.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
But in this context, who cares. They love you, they
care about you.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Maybe you guys haven't been keeping up as much as
you should.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Don't feel like.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
You're sacrificing business and friends. You're only making more time
for yourself and building yourself, and sometimes that free time
that you may have been spending with your friends going
towards you can seem like, all right, our girls on
her shit right now, but don't look at it in
a bad way.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
As I also want to add, because this is how
I am. There's only so many times I can invite
a friend before I stop, because every time I invite
them they say no, or every time I invite them
they can't make it, or every time I invite.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Them they're late.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Like, there's a few things that will keep me from
just being like, oh, this person just isn't available right now.
So if these three friends have been doing that and
they plan this European trip, I think you should look
at the consideration as well. Like, I get that maybe
you would have liked the invite, but you followed it
up with I'm okay with being the friend that always
(13:42):
can't attend things. So I think you have to sit
with what it means for you to be this entrepreneur
and get into the passion of what this business entails.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
The fact that you're.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Literally going to be doing a full rebranding, new marketing,
and diving into this I don't want you to hold
again to your friends the moments that you can't share
with them at this very moment, but also understand that
you are the person that hasn't been able to attend
things because you're taking on this load. And so I
think that's that's the number one question as well for
(14:15):
entrepreneurs or people who work a lot, right, is that
work life balance? And so I don't want you to
feel as though these friends aren't showing up for you
in a time that you can't attend something that they've
been able to make time for simply because now you
guys don't have that same schedule. I can't say that
(14:36):
I've necessarily dealt with this only because I consider sex
workers entrepreneurs and so my entire adulthood has been filled
with friends starting businesses or using.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Their self as businesses.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
So I haven't really had to deal with too much
of the up and downs of friends having a nine
to five and me having a more flippant schedule.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
A lot of my friends is a commodity, so you're
not spending money maybe as much on branding and shit.
For example, Like it's think of someone that's maybe doing
a service. Let's say you're a closet organizer or a
sex worker. These are both things that you've got to
show up for. Maybe you're not spending big money on
like items or you know what I mean, like things
you need to sell, Like.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
All of them could kind of look different.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
But maybe she's spending a lot building this new business
and her friends are just trying to be respectful.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Because that's what I said. That's if they just didn't
even invite you. It could very well be that as well.
It could be a money thing. It could be your availability.
I just let into availability because she literally said I
can't always attend things. So that leads me to believe
that you're aware that you're in this chapter, but you've
also maybe been invited to a few things and also
(15:53):
couldn't make it.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Two things can be true.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I think you should express to your friends, Hey, guys,
I know, I know I can't always make things, but
it would just mean a lot to me to be
extended the invite because as a friend, there could be
times in Okay, we're going to invite this whole no,
and she can't come, but we still want to consider her.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
So that's that could also be a thing too.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
We talk about communication with relationships all the time. I
think communication in friendships is just as important. And so
if you're feeling left out, I'm not telling you you can't.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Feel that way.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Everyone is entitled to feel how they want, but then
you need to communicate.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Hey, I'm in this transitional spot. This is a lot
on me right now, but it would mean a lot
if I still just was extended the invite.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Now, even my advice to you, being an adult means
being honest about your feelings. Like shout out to my
friends Nia and Stephanie. They both live in LA. They're
my friends that became friends. These bitches was doing shit
the other day going to lunch, and they did it
in the group chat like that we all share. And
I'm laughing to myself because I'm like, oh, I already
(16:58):
know they like like, ah, easy can't come ha ha.
But I felt included, whether they know it or not,
for some reason putting me in the group chat them.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I'm five minutes away, I'm all the way in New York.
I can't be with y'all right now on Melrose.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
But it was kind of cute to include me because
I voiced once I was jealous. Now ninety eight percent
of me is being facetious. Two percent of me wishes
I was with my friends. However, at the end of
the day, when I've just made that joke about being
jealous or whatever, it's because I know I'm too busy
(17:32):
to go hang out with y'all right now. But I
love that my two friends found this in each other,
and I like just keeping up with them. So there's
a world of you being like, all right, y'all, I
can't make it to Europe, but like, I need the tea,
I want the updates when y'all hit Paris or wherever
they're going, Like, you know, letting them know something like that,
because there may be a world where they felt like
(17:53):
you couldn't go and they feel weird to bring it
up too, because they don't want.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
To make you feel bad. So figure out what makes
you feel most comfortable.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
And as far as like sharing how you feel, is
it flat out making the joke so that they know it, is.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
It saying it?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Because I know that it's very vulnerable to tell someone
I feel left out, and I think girls can get
super catty. You know, Mandy and I are thirty four
years old and a lot of our friends we had
a long time. But I don't know your age, but
I found I struggled sometimes with women friendships in my
younger twenties that I don't anymore. If I see five
of my homegirls hanging out, I don't think the poe
(18:28):
is talking about me, you know what I'm saying. Like
when you're younger, sometimes you go through these ebbs and
flows of friendship and sisterhood takes a while to figure out.
Sometimes your real friends it takes a while to figure out.
And I think, depending on what level you're at, sharing
it with the closest person to you in that group
would be helpful. Maybe not everybody, but just one because
(18:52):
I really do believe women have had experiences with other
women that kind of deter them from sharing their emotions.
That's inevitable. We've all had a friend go through it,
even if it hasn't been us. So yeah, like making
sure you know you do have a strong backing with
someone so that you don't have to do this thing
of keeping it inside.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
And then I think, just as an entrepreneur, the last
tidbit of advice, like I said, would be to separate
the two. Growing a business is like having a baby,
so and knowing that you have to do the full
rebrand and full shake up of this business. Think of
this as a as a brand new baby, and that's
(19:34):
what it is. And so there has to be a
way where you can separate what you want to do
in your personal life and doing the needed and necessary
investment to make sure that this business succeeds. And you
just have to know as an entrepreneur that you're going
to miss out on some trips, you go miss out
on some events, you go miss out on some fucking brunches,
(19:55):
But I don't know you'll get to a point where
it This is why you're working this hard and spending
so much time so that you can provide yourself that
free time in the future to do all the things
that you.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Want first class.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
What a lay flat? Okay, So good luck write us in.
Hopefully you have that conversation with your friends. Thank you
guys so much for writing in. If you want to
send your letters in, email us Decisions Pod at gmail
dot com. And if you want to see the full
(20:32):
video of this, make sure you go ahead and join
us over on Patreon. That's patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible
Decisions maybe Horrible Decisions hasn't gone anywhere. You could get
it for as little as five dollars a month, and
you get the video for this, and you get an
extra episode every week. So you got every Monday Decisions Decisions,
(20:54):
every Tuesday, Horrible Decisions, and then every Wednesday you got
Decisions supposed to help.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Anyways, Thank you guys so much. Make sure you pre
order our.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Book, No Holds, Part A dual manifesto of sexual exploration
and power.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
All right, jingle bell, al right, guys, and we will
see y'all next.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
The week and on tour NHB tour dot com. See
you there,
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got decisions.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
You've got decisions, baby, and I do too.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Oh my god, guys, I wish you could delete that.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Well. I am just trying to come up with a
jingle because I came my decisions ding. I mean, I
can do that too, But that's not a jingle. Like
the way these jingles be making money. Do you know
how much money fucking justin Timberlake made from the goddamn
McDonald's jingle, Like there is.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Maybe any money.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
There is some money in jingles, hunt and so if
anybody want to use my jingles, baby, go ahead and
keep that check.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Talking about you bringing up justin Timberlake, someone was bringing
them up yesterday and I said, oh my god, I'm
gonna go see the Backstreet boys in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Oh you're embarrassed. You would be, you would be some who.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I said, You're no longer welcome because what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Oh you should see? I am my boy was the era.
No bitch, it does no, no, no, no, no no no.
I am very highly disappointed, like very.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I literally am doing this thing with my friends where
I play like five seconds of the intro of a
Backstreet Voice song and they have to know the song otherwise, no, bitch,
you're not welcome. Oh you're gonna go oh bitch, duh.
It's literally the weekend of our goddamn Vegas show. That's
why when you were like, you were like, do we
have to go to Vegas? Oh? Yeah, bitch, wor hive
(01:35):
anyone listening right now if you guys want to join
us in Las Vegas. We finally got a Saturday show
a HB tour dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I'm looking to do some little.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Where that's Sunday. That Sunday is the Backstreet Boys concert.
So maybe that's given bring your ass to Vegas, plan
to be a whole Friday, Saturday Sunday. But Sunday we
going to see the motherfucking Backstreet Boys at the Spear.
Saturday you getting your holes barred, all of them at
(02:09):
the No Holes Barred Tour. And then Friday is where
you could just be a houll hole because you just
landed and do the drugs all you want.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, that it's in the sphere.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I keep trying to figure out do I get fucked
up on shrooms or not? Do I want to have
them bring out like the medical wheelchair or not? Because
it's a very overwhelming thing if you take a look
at it. Anybody googles the Las Vegas Spear craziest production
Like it's basically a globe you sit in and it
just washes over you.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm telling you, I don't know what BSB boy to do,
but I mean all all I know is I'm I'm
hyped to see them whites, Okay, And I know I
don't speak heavily of them very often on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Y'all know, I just raved about Jake Jillenhall.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
But y'all, y'all have known my love for him already,
so god to see him and y'all know, I mean
not that to my own horn, but AJ has actually
sung me Happy Birthday personally, So oh, let's right out.
I'm right, I'm gonna hear AJ like, Hey, I know
the one knows, like, hey, let me get back stage, real, Craick,
let me say hot to the month?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Meane did duntil? Okay? Anyway, we're gonna start off with
a quick one.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
We're gonna we're gonna drop y'all a quick two piece
this Wednesday, just because one is like, girl, come on,
we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna help you out, but
there's not much to say.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
And then the next one is a little bit more vanilla.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
So this first one, by the way, if you want
us to answer your questions, go ahead and email us
Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. This first one is
titled I Can't Get My Nut. Hey, y'all, I'm a
twenty one year old lesbian college student, still a virgin,
and I've never really had a good experience with masturbation.
(04:02):
I just started for the first time ever. Recently, I've
tried to use my fingers, a bullet, and even the
rose toy, but I haven't felt much pleasure or ever
reached an orgasm. I enjoy watching porn that's made with
the female gaze in mind. Something actually feels intimate and
focuses on women's pleasure.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
And it definitely turns me on mentally.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
But I've never been able to physically make myself feel good.
I've been numerous Oh I've been nervous about trying a
dial dough since I'm worried it might be painful. Any
tips on how to get more comfortable with my body
and hopefully start enjoying the experience more and most importantly
getting my first nuts.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Well, a deal more woe in you is a little
too advanced.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, especially if you're identifying as a lesbian and probably
haven't had any sort of penetration.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I'm not sure if.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
That is what I would recommend off the top. However,
I do actually have a chapter about this. How can
I expect you to please me if I can't please myself?
It's the first chapter in No Holds Barred. And the
crazy thing about it is a lot of us often
assume that in masturbation, in order to receive pleasure it
(05:18):
has to be insertion in vagina or playing of the clip,
And the fact of the matter is you could have
so many other like orogenous zones on you that could
cause you to orgasm. I don't know if you've guys
gone back through the catalog, but I remember talking about
(05:38):
receiving an ear orgasm on the podcast because this guy
just breathed in my ear in bitch, my whole body,
baby was fucking clay for me.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I had a Yoni massage like a Volva massage, without
fingers inside of me was just literally the outer area
of my vagina no clatorial stimulation hither. And I don't
know if we're exploring enough on our own bodies before masturbation.
So the first thing I was thinking and you said that,
I was like, oh girl, nice music, Dimly light your
(06:11):
room and oil your body up and just touch different
places to feel your body yep like and being.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Sometimes we're not comfortable with our body all the way.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I just really like went through some crazy weight changes
with switching birth control and whatever and feeling uncomfortable. I
realized I hadn't touched my stomach and my hips in
like a month because I just hated looking at them.
And then finally when I did it a few nights ago,
I was like, oh my god, like it's been so
long since I've touched my own body because I've just
(06:42):
been uncomfortable in it.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Like we've got to.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
And I think that brain is one that doesn't understand
their body, Like you need to figure out how to
touch yourself slowly, how to use your nails, just how
to be more playful. But when it comes to penetrative toys,
I've never really heard anyone say they used those before
actual penetrative sex with man or women, because you may
never I mean, you're lesbian, so just penetrative sex with
(07:07):
a man probably won't happen.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
It will happen with a woman.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
So if you'd like to lose your virginity with a
woman in that way, I would wait until you get there, like,
just practice first, knowing your vagina out. I would say,
there's nothing wrong though, if you want to use the
deal though, just to prepare yourself if you plan to
get strapped by another woman, like, I don't see I
(07:33):
don't see that being a bad thing, because to be fair,
I'm I feel like one of God's chosen, but only
because I also like dick. I orgasm through penetration, like
I've talked about on this pod, not really enjoying like
oral sex as much.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
And only really being.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Able to come like with my clip by myself honestly,
but I come so hard with penetration, and maybe that
could be you as well. I mean, even though you're
you're lesbian, you can absolutely still enjoy the pleasure of
penetration through a dildo or a strap or any of
the other toys that are present too. I'm not against
(08:11):
that I do like what Weezy said and feeling your
whole body. And I just want to add one more
tip if you're worried about the the painfulness that may
come with a dildo because you haven't been penetrated. This
is gonna sound weird, but one of the ways that
I come the hardest, and it's because I am such
(08:31):
more of a visual.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
And psychological masturbator. While I'm watching porn, I talk and
make noises.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
So I direct the people or I act like they're
my partner and I'm receiving pleasure from watching them in
the act. So I kind of role play while watching porn,
and that turns me on so much.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Just talking.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I moan hearing myself, just hearing myself, which is ironic
because I fucking for a living and I know some
of y'all are sick.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Of hearing me.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
But hearing myself like guide the people in porn as
if I'm in the room is something that almost immediately
makes me come. And so I know we talk about
sex in the physical way, there's a way that you
can masturbate psychologically that will make you fucking come and
bitch go straight to sleep.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's how I go to sleep almost every night, so
that would be my second.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Be some more sexuality going on with yourself with your head,
Like most people that are masturbating often and doing it
successfully are kind of practicing sexual thoughts more than others.
Like most times that I'm hearing women go through scenarios
like this, they aren't necessarily thinking about sex as often.
(09:49):
And not finding themselves as horny doesn't mean you aren't horny.
It just means, like it may not be top of mine.
You actually really do have to dedicate time to finding
out what you like because we pushed sex aside a
lot in a relationship and with ourselves. Like I can't
tell you the last time I'm masturbated. I just haven't
set out time to do it. I haven't been thinking
(10:10):
about it has nothing to do with the fact that
I have a boyfriend. We should one hundred percent still
be you know, pleasing ourselves. So I think we all
just kind of like slip up.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Well, I hope that we were able to help you
or anyone else facing this problem. We're gonna go to
this second one. We're gonna make it a little bit
more vanilla and not so sex based, but Hopefully this
relates to some of you guys listening to Hi Weezy
(10:40):
and Mandy, hoping you both could share some insight around
being the only entrepreneur friend. For context, I'm taking over
my mom's business and because she's from a different generation,
that has meant full rebranding, new marketing, finding new accounts,
et cetera. It's been so much work on my part,
but super reward and I'm so excited about the future
(11:01):
and what we're building. I just found out my three
best friends are doing a euro trip without me, and
although I've come to be okay with being the friend
that can't always attend things, I also can't help but
feeling like I'm missing out and at the same time,
none of them understand this chapter I'm in right now
since I'm the only entrepreneur friend. Any advice on dealing
(11:23):
with this is so appreciated. Did you deal with this
while growing your businesses?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Hmm? With gratitude? And that's the question. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
If I ever dealt with oh, I guess, yeah, I
guess right now. But mostly my LA friends they're like
newer friends. I think they need like more availability for me.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
They don't want to bother me like friends feel like
they're putting pressure on me. And sometimes.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I think it also depends, like, Okay, we've all been there,
every single person. I have a bunch friends I haven't
called in weeks or months, But at the same time,
we're both not putting in the effort. That doesn't really
mean they go anywhere. Sometimes things can be like seasonal.
Me and Vinnie just realized we hadn't been on a
FaceTime in a month and we just made the time
(12:16):
to do it.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
We're tattooed on each other twice.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
That doesn't mean this isn't my brother, or I didn't
put him inside of no hol's barred, like I love Anny,
but we just go through moments. People go through moments
where they kind of just forget. And I think if
you haven't been keeping up with your friends. Now, if
you were with these bitches doing brunch every Sunday and
then they left you out, that's a different story.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
But in this context, who cares. They love you, they
care about you.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Maybe you guys haven't been keeping up as much as
you should.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Don't feel like.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
You're sacrificing business and friends. You're only making more time
for yourself and building yourself, and sometimes that free time
that you may have been spending with your friends going
towards you can seem like, all right, our girls on
her shit right now, but don't look at it in
a bad way.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
As I also want to add, because this is how
I am. There's only so many times I can invite
a friend before I stop, because every time I invite
them they say no, or every time I invite them
they can't make it, or every time I invite.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Them they're late.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Like, there's a few things that will keep me from
just being like, oh, this person just isn't available right now.
So if these three friends have been doing that and
they plan this European trip, I think you should look
at the consideration as well. Like, I get that maybe
you would have liked the invite, but you followed it
up with I'm okay with being the friend that always
(13:42):
can't attend things. So I think you have to sit
with what it means for you to be this entrepreneur
and get into the passion of what this business entails.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
The fact that you're.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Literally going to be doing a full rebranding, new marketing,
and diving into this I don't want you to hold
again to your friends the moments that you can't share
with them at this very moment, but also understand that
you are the person that hasn't been able to attend
things because you're taking on this load. And so I
think that's that's the number one question as well for
(14:15):
entrepreneurs or people who work a lot, right, is that
work life balance? And so I don't want you to
feel as though these friends aren't showing up for you
in a time that you can't attend something that they've
been able to make time for simply because now you
guys don't have that same schedule. I can't say that
(14:36):
I've necessarily dealt with this only because I consider sex
workers entrepreneurs and so my entire adulthood has been filled
with friends starting businesses or using.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Their self as businesses.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
So I haven't really had to deal with too much
of the up and downs of friends having a nine
to five and me having a more flippant schedule.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
A lot of my friends is a commodity, so you're
not spending money maybe as much on branding and shit.
For example, Like it's think of someone that's maybe doing
a service. Let's say you're a closet organizer or a
sex worker. These are both things that you've got to
show up for. Maybe you're not spending big money on
like items or you know what I mean, like things
you need to sell, Like.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
All of them could kind of look different.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
But maybe she's spending a lot building this new business
and her friends are just trying to be respectful.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Because that's what I said. That's if they just didn't
even invite you. It could very well be that as well.
It could be a money thing. It could be your availability.
I just let into availability because she literally said I
can't always attend things. So that leads me to believe
that you're aware that you're in this chapter, but you've
also maybe been invited to a few things and also
(15:53):
couldn't make it.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Two things can be true.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I think you should express to your friends, Hey, guys,
I know, I know I can't always make things, but
it would just mean a lot to me to be
extended the invite because as a friend, there could be
times in Okay, we're going to invite this whole no,
and she can't come, but we still want to consider her.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
So that's that could also be a thing too.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
We talk about communication with relationships all the time. I
think communication in friendships is just as important. And so
if you're feeling left out, I'm not telling you you can't.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Feel that way.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Everyone is entitled to feel how they want, but then
you need to communicate.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Hey, I'm in this transitional spot. This is a lot
on me right now, but it would mean a lot
if I still just was extended the invite.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Now, even my advice to you, being an adult means
being honest about your feelings. Like shout out to my
friends Nia and Stephanie. They both live in LA. They're
my friends that became friends. These bitches was doing shit
the other day going to lunch, and they did it
in the group chat like that we all share. And
I'm laughing to myself because I'm like, oh, I already
(16:58):
know they like like, ah, easy can't come ha ha.
But I felt included, whether they know it or not,
for some reason putting me in the group chat them.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I'm five minutes away, I'm all the way in New York.
I can't be with y'all right now on Melrose.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
But it was kind of cute to include me because
I voiced once I was jealous. Now ninety eight percent
of me is being facetious. Two percent of me wishes
I was with my friends. However, at the end of
the day, when I've just made that joke about being
jealous or whatever, it's because I know I'm too busy
(17:32):
to go hang out with y'all right now. But I
love that my two friends found this in each other,
and I like just keeping up with them. So there's
a world of you being like, all right, y'all, I
can't make it to Europe, but like, I need the tea,
I want the updates when y'all hit Paris or wherever
they're going, Like, you know, letting them know something like that,
because there may be a world where they felt like
(17:53):
you couldn't go and they feel weird to bring it
up too, because they don't want.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
To make you feel bad. So figure out what makes
you feel most comfortable.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
And as far as like sharing how you feel, is
it flat out making the joke so that they know it, is.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
It saying it?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Because I know that it's very vulnerable to tell someone
I feel left out, and I think girls can get
super catty. You know, Mandy and I are thirty four
years old and a lot of our friends we had
a long time. But I don't know your age, but
I found I struggled sometimes with women friendships in my
younger twenties that I don't anymore. If I see five
of my homegirls hanging out, I don't think the poe
(18:28):
is talking about me, you know what I'm saying. Like
when you're younger, sometimes you go through these ebbs and
flows of friendship and sisterhood takes a while to figure out.
Sometimes your real friends it takes a while to figure out.
And I think, depending on what level you're at, sharing
it with the closest person to you in that group
would be helpful. Maybe not everybody, but just one because
(18:52):
I really do believe women have had experiences with other
women that kind of deter them from sharing their emotions.
That's inevitable. We've all had a friend go through it,
even if it hasn't been us. So yeah, like making
sure you know you do have a strong backing with
someone so that you don't have to do this thing
of keeping it inside.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
And then I think, just as an entrepreneur, the last
tidbit of advice, like I said, would be to separate
the two. Growing a business is like having a baby,
so and knowing that you have to do the full
rebrand and full shake up of this business. Think of
this as a as a brand new baby, and that's
(19:34):
what it is. And so there has to be a
way where you can separate what you want to do
in your personal life and doing the needed and necessary
investment to make sure that this business succeeds. And you
just have to know as an entrepreneur that you're going
to miss out on some trips, you go miss out
on some events, you go miss out on some fucking brunches,
(19:55):
But I don't know you'll get to a point where
it This is why you're working this hard and spending
so much time so that you can provide yourself that
free time in the future to do all the things
that you.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Want first class.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
What a lay flat? Okay, So good luck write us in.
Hopefully you have that conversation with your friends. Thank you
guys so much for writing in. If you want to
send your letters in, email us Decisions Pod at gmail
dot com. And if you want to see the full
(20:32):
video of this, make sure you go ahead and join
us over on Patreon. That's patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible
Decisions maybe Horrible Decisions hasn't gone anywhere. You could get
it for as little as five dollars a month, and
you get the video for this, and you get an
extra episode every week. So you got every Monday Decisions Decisions,
(20:54):
every Tuesday, Horrible Decisions, and then every Wednesday you got
Decisions supposed to help.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Anyways, Thank you guys so much. Make sure you pre
order our.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Book, No Holds, Part A dual manifesto of sexual exploration
and power.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
All right, jingle bell, al right, guys, and we will
see y'all next.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
The week and on tour NHB tour dot com. See
you there,
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