September 3, 2025 • 30 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I want to know when you want to introduce a
sexual experience to your partner, how do you do it?
Mandy and I are always saying through porn, set the scene.
Let's just say tonight, you really want to chew on
your niggas balls, you want to take your teeth and
chew on them?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
How are you introducing new sexual shit?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Something that I've been doing lately is using clips from
my podcast. I'm like, oh, I had six dollars just
on and they told me about this, Or I will
use a clip from Horrible and I'm like, oh, I
saw this on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Not porn, but you're just showing sterry conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Just as like, because there's a new relationship. I'm just
you know, testing the waters. So I was like, do
you know what compersion is? He was like, no, I
saw hesw this clip. I saw it and then it
was Louise explained what compression was, or if it was like, oh,
what do you think about?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
What's another clip?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
I saw them golden showers, so when you think about
golden showers? And he was like, yeah, nin into that.
He was like, you ever did it before?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Hey, here we are, y'all, Billy not saying he was
never gonna come again. But it really amped it up
when that nigga said, this is how I found out
about King Noir. I went on, need to be studied,
but we were trying to schedule. He's like, oh, well,
I have a session with King Noir. But it's okay.
I said, oh no, nigga, we could push our thing.
You go get that and they come on home. Now,
(01:17):
normally I thought King Noir was a female client, but
he said that he was open for you to talk
about it. So tell us how you got to the
point where you finally hire a sex worker.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
All right, So this is where I had to do this.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
So I was in a toxic relationship and I developed
sexual performance anxiety. So I wasn't confident about my body.
He wasn't that like, it wasn't pouring into me. So
I'm like, am I.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Even good getting hard? Or just getting anxious?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Just getting anxious, like thinking like am I taking dick
the right way?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Or am I stucking his dick property? Because he would
just be like.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
It was I like, look at I And it made
me call other niggas like, yo, this isn't my dick game?
Like can I talk like, yeah, I'm like, so.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
This nigga's bugging. But he was just a toxic motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
So I was like, you know what, before I go
into this, and that's the point in my podcast, like
I use it to make sure, like I'm learning stuff
needs to be studied, so I'm learning about my sexual
needs and how to communicate better relationships.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
So I was like, you know what, I have to
do it. I have a segment called try It for
the podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
So I was like, such a good segment name.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Yes, I mean we say we don't stuck for research
with research, We're doing it for research over here.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
So I'm like, so I hit him up and I
was like, do you work with male clients? Because I
always was trying to figure out who works with male clients.
I know Ken, No, I know some marvels. But I'm like, so,
I'm like, well, Ken, I got to do it if
I seen him suck a couple of dicks.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
So, but he sucked.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Let's be very clear to separate only because I'm very
adamant in drawing the line between I've only seen King
no Art actively publicly suck trans women dicks. That's different
than medics. Yes, So when you hit him up, and
I don't know, like I'll say, you stuck a dick.
(02:56):
Those were attached to women. So what was your question
to him about dealing with male clients? Because I'm outside
of like three stooms, I've never seen him deal with
male clients.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
So I basically was like, oh, I'm interested in learning
my kings and fetishes, but I don't know anybody that
will male clients.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Can you point me to a direction? Who would you know?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, I'll take your money, Oh not?
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Can you guide me?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Give meidan where to go? And he said, I, you
know male conent. I was like, oh, let's talk about this.
So he told me he was like Donald Telegram, I telegram.
So he gave me his number and then we started
speaking about it.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
So did he send you his broundies boundaries too on
what he does with Yeah, So at first we did
a consultation. He's asking me well like and I'm like, yeah,
what were you hiring him for? I just want to know,
Like I want to do stuff that I never explored.
So I was like, let's do this session based off
a century play, like I want to I want to
see what flogging fils like.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
I want to feel. I want to feel different things
I want to do. I want to do a professional Okay,
it's like okay. So then he gave me a list
of stuff to fill out and my arm to see
what I'm into? Am I into change? Am I into which?
So I'm like, all right, I'm into this, I'm into that.
And then he was like, all right, I'll be back
in New York at this time. Let's follow up.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
But then he followed up.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
And then that's when like we start speaking the money.
I think it's pricey, but it.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Was expensive, was it under? It was five hundred to
one thousand, or thousand to fifteen hundred or what.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
I would say it was from twenty five hundred to
three thousand.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
I was gonna say, So Marvelous is like fifteen hundred
for two hours.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Like I have friends that book smarts these mother.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I can't tell you what he said.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I saved it. He can't tell it on camera.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
I have friends that have booked So Marvelous for over
two grand plus flights for like two to three hours.
Like I will say for anywhere, solo sessions, solo sessions,
I will say for.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Anyone listening, anyone that we've come.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
On this podcast and kind of talk to they not cheat, No, no, no,
she to that girl. Listen, she said six sixty six,
she said, she said, may you all listen to the
Dominatrix Jacks. She's the episode that you heard last week.
She shared her rate.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
She did, these niggas is expensive.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Yeah, they are. They are. So it was we get it. Yeah,
it was.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
It was put.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Him race for two hours or whatever. So I'm like, okay,
so you know you send a deposit and then.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Fifty percent deposit?
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Why I say for an hour? When not you have two?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Now?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
What did you go in paying.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
For an experience?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So I just I just want to try something like
I watching you guys show you learned with flog in
Nobody has a flog in it black.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I say that all the time. I'll be like, where
the fuck these niggas?
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
So you wanted to experience flogging it?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Right?
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Ye?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Flogging? Send three play? What other elements of sensory play?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
There was no exact reason. I just wanted to experience
and say, okay, I did the first round.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Now for the next round.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I know I wanted to up thinking that like okay,
he's guy said my yes, and nose.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
You're gonna get me whatever you got.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
I'm thinking, like, we're gonna do whatever you got.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
But he's like, Okay, when we get there, I'll show
you what type of tools and the equipments that I
have and we'll go through it.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
And his voice crazy that ship, that's it indeed.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So now we get there, so you have to book
the hotel yourself and then you tell him where to go.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
Wait, you got to pay him and pay for the room.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
So I booked the hotel on Time Square, okay, and
he came over and then he just came in. He
was like, you know, his voice is so deep there
and find it's so sexy. I'm thriking about him too.
So he was like, did he put the I don't
know what radio station. I think it's a snow All
(06:51):
radio station.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Not you know about sex playlist, Nigga pointed me. When
you say I didn't watch my ship, then playlist is it?
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Then he started taking the stuff out and then he
was like, all right, this room was a little small,
you know, it's New York City, Tom Square. He was like,
all right, we're gonna make this work though, So then
he started saying you want to be butt.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Naked, and I'm like, I'll keep my clothing for right now,
you know, like I just.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Want to I've been nervous to get naggd too.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
So then he's like telling me like layout and then
like so I started explaining to him why I want
to do it. I was having second so, like I
was insecure about my body and I just want to
build that confidence back. Yeah, he's already were gonna get
you there right, So and I told him I want
to be dominated, like I love a good dominant person
like and I love being a little bitch ass. So
so he told me spread out archie back.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
He said that you weren't naked.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
That wasn't that yet. He said, I have a great
arch and I think every person that needs to know
that I have a great arch.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
A great art.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
She said, my name Ke had a great art. Okay,
all right, So he had me like right out and
then he started flogging me.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Then he so he started using ice down my back,
and then he told me he was like, from now
here on out, every time you talk to me, you
have to say yes, king sir.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
So I'm just like, so he smacking my ass yes,
king sir, you like this. Yes. At one point I
was my mind. I said, yes, king daddy.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yes, he said, she'd be saying, my dick.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Literally, I get to the ship instead of what was
easy to come dick, okay, keep going, keep going.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Now he's doing that. I'm just like, all right, this
feels good. So now he tried to use another thing,
but it was like a what I think it's called
like a dragontail.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
That ship hurt.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
It felt like I was on roots, like, oh, so,
thank you for mentioning that. So it was red, green
or yellow. So it was at one point when he
was using the whips, I said red that Nigga stought
the music so fast.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I like, he said, you stuck everything. I was like, yoo,
don't kick.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yellow to me.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I love something because he's got to check in that music.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
I said, right that Nigga jumped over so fast something yellow.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Really happy to hear that.
Speaker 7 (09:20):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I like to click this because now we know what
it was safe for. It really should be looking like everything,
including back on you when you're out of sea.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
I looking at the nigga like everything he said.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
You said, right, nigga, you said your head let me gorsh.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
So then you know he's a speeding me affirmation.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
He was like, yo, you did that. He was like,
you took three strong wits. I'm like you, nigga, that
shit hurt. So he then from there he's back to
the ice play. Then he's telling me like, your body
is beautiful. Whatever your ex putting to you is poison.
And he's like, I was just like, so now I've
been over. He's standing on me right this not here
(10:07):
a zip word.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,
But why it's up there. Tap in for the full,
uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to
patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy,
t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else.
(10:28):
And now here's You've Got Decisions if you would like to.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job,
a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throatfle guess what You've
got decisions?
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Hey, guys, we'll welcome to another you Got Decisions Because
if it's one thing we know is we all have
the right to make a toy as. Now, I don't
know why it started this week off that way, but
I'm in a little then, Dude, I am here to
give my solicitor advice because you asked for a bitch.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
You motherfucking asked for it.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Okay, But before we get into the you Guy Decision
listeners submitted question of the week, I'm gonna read yet
another review from Amazon. But also we have an update
from a previous You Got Decisions listener about not being
able to nut. Now, if y'all just saw one of
our most recent episodes, soo, we was talking about our
(11:30):
favorite nuts, So y'all might want to go and check
that out and see if you like the nut like
me or if you like the nut like Wheezy. And
you know the type of nute we talk about. We're
not talking about all Mends and Peak Hans.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (11:44):
Anyways, y'all know we have our book out No Holds Bard,
a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And this
book review comes from Amazon read us sixty two. So
proud of Mandy and Whezy. This book is a must
read bestseller. It's titillating, informative, humorous, vulnerable, and soul stiring.
(12:06):
I identify so much with many of their experiences captured
in this book in terms of exploring sexuality, affirming my
personal preferences, and remaining open to learning new alternatives. The
Horror Hive has been a safe space for so many
of us. Can't wait for the masses to get to
know the brilliance of these two media mavens Xoxoh now,
(12:28):
I know that's right.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I know that's right.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
We want the world baby to get with it or
get lost. No, really excited about just the journey that
we're on with this book. A lot of things have
just been so unexpected, and I'm just really, really really
grateful for the horre Hive and everything. Also, keep track
(12:55):
of our Instagram page and Patreonon Patreon, we kind of
let you know everything that we got going on, So
join us on Patreon to be up to date where
we may be coming to a.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
City near you.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
We are looking to do more intimate spaces within the
bookstore routing and not doing the theaters. But we are
looking to bring the podcast back on tour, possibly at
the top of next year. We're looking to recreate it,
but for everything this year, we are focused only on
(13:29):
no holds barred. If you haven't got it yet, please
go out and get that hunt. Now, I'm going to
read an update from a previous letter before we get
to this week's question.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Now, this one is a follow up from I Can't
Get My Nut.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
If you want to see where that is, you can
go to our Instagram feed and literally it'll most likely
be titled I Can't get my nut on the YGD portion.
So hey, just wanted to say thank you both for
the advice. It really came through. After watching, I went
to the sex door, grabbed a new toy, some lube
(14:08):
and lingerie, set the mood with music and body oil
per Wheezy suggestion, and ended up squirting four times back
to back.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Now, to go from not.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
Getting a nut to squirting back to back four times,
let's you know, we kind of know what we'd be
talking about up here. Now we are unofficial experts on
all things, but baby, I think we kind of know
what we're talking when it comes to kind of the
bitch right. Ever since, it's been easier and way more consistent,
like something finally clicked. I've even caught myself trying to
(14:42):
run from it. I know that's right, what I've picked up.
Stop overthinking. Suction toys work well for me. Moaning makes
the difference. Mandy, this sent me over the edge. And
number four, no need to rush. Appreciate y'all for real,
for real. Now that's always been kind of like my tidbit.
(15:08):
And I guess it depends if you actually like verbal
sex or not. But moaning, baby, I will ask. I'll
be like, I will tell the man I don't hear you.
I don't hear you.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Let me hear you.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
Signify that what I'm doing is good. And then for
me moaning just oh it just made me feel good
or whatever. All right, let's get into this week's You
(15:44):
Got Decisions. If you have a question that you want
us to read here on You Got Decisions, please please
please email us now at.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Decisions pod at gmail dot com and just.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
See you know.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
If you'd like to see the full video of the
You Got Decisions for.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
The week, head on over a Baby to Patreon dot
com backslash Horrible Decisions. All right, let's see disciple sasshold.
I need some help, she said, needs your advice. Hey, girls,
I'm a new fan who loves listening to your podcast
and will love to get your advice on my current situation,
(16:26):
so I just had to email. I am recently out
of an eleven year relationship and we have two young children.
We are for sure over and I am ready to
move on with my life. Of course, there's a lot
more to it, but for the sake of not writing
you guys a whole book. Basically, he just stopped showing
me love, and after eleven years, we still weren't married
(16:50):
and I just have fallen out of love. He still
wants to work things out, but I am one hundred
percent done with that relationship for many reasons. We broke
up officially in October of last year, and I recently
started fucking a new man. My closest friend has told
me over and over again that she does not think
(17:11):
I should be sleeping with anyone so soon, and has
made it very clear that she doesn't agree with my choices,
and it just makes me kind of second guess what
I'm doing. I kind of like this new guy, and
I definitely enjoy the casual sex we've been having. So
do you guys think I'm moving on too fast? And
am I wrong for moving on knowing it would hurt
(17:34):
The father of my children.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
PS.
Speaker 5 (17:36):
I love what you guys are doing and pray you
continue to thrive love death. Now, I guess let's start
with friends and their opinions on what the fuck you
do with yo kuchi yo dick and your heart? Okay,
for me and how I operate, Let me share how
(17:56):
I operate, just so that you know where this advice.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Is coming from. I am someone that and y'all have
heard me say this time and time again.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
I don't think I have one friend who's relationship I envy,
or that I can look up to, or that I'm like, ooh,
they got it right, not one.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I think everyone has their ups and downs. I think
we all have.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
Different ways that we view relationship dynamics, the way that
we view looks.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Because bitch, that's another thing. My friends like media ugly niggas,
so we never agree on who to talk to who
not to.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
I just say, if you like it, I love it, sis,
And so for me, I normally come to my friends
and share the dirt after I already did it. You
know why, because bitch, I wasn't gonna care what you
said anyways. So let me go through the.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Dirt, the mud, the blood, get.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
My heart broke, feel stupid, feel dumb, and then I'm
gonna come to you and be like, bitch'all was a
dumb ass, bitch, let me tell you what I did, Like,
I literally just did that where I brought somebody back
from the past for like the fucking fifty eleventh time
that didn't deserve to be in my present, and he
showed his ass embarrassed me again. And I literally came
(19:20):
to my friends with the embarrassment, and I was like,
let me tell y'all why I really cut this nigga
off now, Because I wasn't gonna tell y'all, I was
letting him creep back in.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
But let me tell y'all why I don't talk to
him no more.
Speaker 5 (19:33):
And it was because he showed his ass, so to me,
I'd rather just get through the shit in silence and
then share with my friends the blow up. Right.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
And so when you're talking to your friends constantly about
your relationship.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
By the way, it's August, which means you broke up
with your baby daddy and your long standing relationship with
this man that didn't want to make you his wife
almost a year ago.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You are like eleven months ten eleven months to the year.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
I personally think you are currently at a place where
it is fine that you have moved on and am
having sex and are having sex with someone else. Now
when it comes to your friend, I think what we
as women need to do is learn to create our
create boundaries, tell our friends to shut the fuck up,
(20:26):
and still let them feel like they can share their
opinions at the same time.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
So let me tell you what I mean in terms
of creating boundaries.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
I think that you, if you feel like she's now
having you second guest someone, you should create your boundary
by saying, hey, I really love sharing you know what's
happening in my life with you. However, if you're going
to keep being negative about something that is currently bringing
me joy, I'm not going to feel comfortable sharing these
(20:56):
things with you. So I would love for you to
either respond to or if you ain't got nothing nice
to say, don't say nothing at all. There's a boundary
where you're giving her the right to still be privy
to the things in your life on the on the
precedents that she doesn't come to you with some negative
shit telling you you're not supposed to be doing what
you're doing right The other part is kindly telling a
(21:20):
bitch to shut the fuck up. Now, I'm gonna tell
you the toxic way to do it, and then i'm
gonna tell you. Let me tell you the nice way
to do it first. Then I'm gonna tell you the
toxic way to do it, because I've done it the
toxic way a few times and baby, it's shuts them
the fuck up. So the nice way to do it
would literally be to just say that, like, girl, every
time I bring this up to you and I'm talking
(21:41):
about my happiness, you have something negative to say, I
really wish you wouldn't do that. That would be the
nice way, right, to just be like, damn you negative,
Nancy pulls ass whole, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I'm happy and you writing all my motherfucking prey. Here's
the here's the toxic way.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
Here's the toxic way to check a friend who's giving
you the unsolicited device on what you're doing, especially when
they shit not together. Now, girl, you telling me all
these things, but when you left Craig, your baby daddy,
and when it started fucking Darius and you went.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Through all that shit, I supported your decisions to make
that right. What you do in.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
The toxic way to get a bitch to shut up
is to call out where they fucked up, call out
where they did some shit that you didn't agree with,
but you let them continue to find their way.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
That's the toxic way. And you shaking your hand, y'all.
I'm in the studio.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
I need to know studios right now, and the engineer
court is like shaking his hand, that would be the
toxic way. Like, bitch, hold up the mirror to your
friend and tell her how she did some fuckery and
you allowed her to just live in her fuckery.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
For as long as she lived in it. Ain't that
the right way to do a court.
Speaker 7 (23:04):
To be honest, I wouldn't even call that a toxic
my book. That's just that's just how I That's just
how I keep.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
It real with.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Let's be very clear. This is why my friends know.
Speaker 5 (23:15):
There are certain stories and inklings where once they start
giving me the advice on what I'm doing, Oh bitch,
at this point, girl, you're not serious because the way
your baby daddy is set up, the way you not
get it, the way a nigga ain't never.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Gave you that. I'm not the fact you feel.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
Me like it's so weird because we do normally have
all of this like rah, you know what I mean
for someone doing some shit that we think is some
some doodo, but then we expect them to kind of
be supportive when we're doing that same shit. And I
think it's it's the hypocritic nature of that, you know
what I mean, Like there's a lot of people who
(23:57):
could give advice that can't take their advice.
Speaker 7 (24:00):
So also too is like, don't lecture me on accountability
when you can't take it, like audacity is a thing.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
But also it's interesting to me, and I want to
go back to the letter. This is the father of
two children. They were together for eleven years. She mentions
like he stops showing up for her. She fell out
of love for him. And let's be very clear when
a woman's better, y'all know. I love referencing that. I
know even yeah, I don't care. One of the best
(24:30):
songs ever. So, knowing that she's stuck around this long,
she says she never got a ring, they never got married,
you know, and now she's moving on to someone that
a you She identified this person as casual sex, so
it's not like she's fully stepping out there to like
start dating someone else.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Yeah, she knew what it was in her mind.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Type you feel me and so to me.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
I genuinely feel like a you need to tell your
friend you either show up for me and support or
you don't. Secondly, since you called an asked, I do
not believe at all.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
That you are quote unquote moving too fast.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
I also don't think at this point personally, you should
be considering the feelings of your baby daddy. If you
have not been with him for ten or eleven months,
you quote unquote making him mad, which is what you
reference in this letter.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I'll tell you it's a little toxic. It's a little toxic.
Do you want to be with this man or do
you not? I think you should not be.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Considering your ex partner's feelings if the only relationship currently
is going to be co parenting. Now, if you genuinely
feel guilty that you're sleeping with someone else, if you
genuinely feel like you are doing something wrong, if you're
not feeling like you can express any sort of love
(25:55):
intimacy with another man, because your baby daddy, in this
lie in your relationship is still in the back of
your mind. You may need to sit with yourself to
figure out if you were actually one hundred percent done,
because you said you were one hundred percent over this man.
But the last sentence in this letter literally brings up
(26:16):
hurting his feelings. It said, and am I wrong for
moving on? Knowing it would hurt the father of my children?
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Girl, you're a good person.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
But he ain't worried about that.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
Obviously he's not, I mean, but you know what, and
if he is, if he's making you guilty for moving on, baby,
it's called manipulation. Uh, Because if he wanted to, he
would right. So, if he wanted to within those eleven years,
put a ring on your finger, make you his wife,
show up for you in a way that didn't make
(26:50):
you want to step out or leave or break up
or end the relationship, he would have. And so this
one foot in, one foot out, whatever he's doing right
now to you making you feel guilty, maybe you have
to stand true in what you want to do. And
if you said you're one hundred percent done, it looks
(27:10):
like only considering the feelings of the father of your
children in terms of the children, not what you're doing
with another man, not how you sleep in with another
man or moving on. It's funny because you reference him
as the father of your child, but you're to me
considering his feelings as an ex, as a lover, as
(27:32):
a partner, and so those have to be now separated.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
He is the father of your child and an ex
two different things.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
The father of your children can't make you feel guilty
for moving on in a relationship when y'all are no
longer in a relationship now an ex who might still
just be trying to keep in and has the emotional
lingering ties to you as a lover and a partner,
those are the strings that you need to break free of.
If you're saying he didn't show up for you, y'all
(28:02):
spent eleven years together. You're saying you've moved on. You
got to move on, and moving on looks like cutting
those emotional ties and specifically any guilt around how you're
enjoying yourself outside of being with him. So those would
be my two tidbits. I don't think you're moving too fast.
(28:24):
You're almost a year out of that relationship. I think
you are owed an orgasm a nut intimacy company. You're
old that all people are like, we're owed that. I
would also make sure that you are cutting those sexual
and intimate ties with your baby daddy, because you can't
(28:47):
be double dipping and then telling him you one hundred
percent done with him.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
You either move the bug on, or you don't you
say or you don't like.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
You can't be on both sides of the coin, and
so stand firm on business.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
If you one hundred percent over, talk to your friend.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
In either the nice way or to realize bitchway and
figure out how how much you want or need your
friend's input on how you handle your love life. That
would be my advice to you. Let me see who
wait this way, good on this way, good on this y'all.
(29:30):
This one was a quick one this week, but make
sure you hit us up send us an email. That's
Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. Also in the comments,
make sure you go on over to our Instagram at
underscore Decisions Decisions, leave your comments, engage, let me know
(29:52):
what you think this person should do. And also you
get to see the full video over on our Patreon.
So that's patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible Decisions where you
could go ahead and give your advice get into the community,
join our discord, talk do all the things, and thank
you guys for constantly supporting, listening to us, rocking with
(30:13):
us if you want to listen to more of me
as well. Y'all know I got Selective Ignorance every Tuesday
and Friday, So just go on over to Selective Ignorance.
Wherever you listen to Decisions Decisions, I'm there, and you
can also go watch all of period to Selective Ignorance
and everything Mandy b Over on my YouTube channel at
(30:34):
with Mandy b Search that and thank you guys so
much for tuning in. It's another you got Decisions. We
will see you next Homeday, baby Hie
I want to know when you want to introduce a
sexual experience to your partner, how do you do it?
Mandy and I are always saying through porn, set the scene.
Let's just say tonight, you really want to chew on
your niggas balls, you want to take your teeth and
chew on them?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
How are you introducing new sexual shit?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Something that I've been doing lately is using clips from
my podcast. I'm like, oh, I had six dollars just
on and they told me about this, Or I will
use a clip from Horrible and I'm like, oh, I
saw this on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Not porn, but you're just showing sterry conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Just as like, because there's a new relationship. I'm just
you know, testing the waters. So I was like, do
you know what compersion is? He was like, no, I
saw hesw this clip. I saw it and then it
was Louise explained what compression was, or if it was like, oh,
what do you think about?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
What's another clip?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
I saw them golden showers, so when you think about
golden showers? And he was like, yeah, nin into that.
He was like, you ever did it before?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Hey, here we are, y'all, Billy not saying he was
never gonna come again. But it really amped it up
when that nigga said, this is how I found out
about King Noir. I went on, need to be studied,
but we were trying to schedule. He's like, oh, well,
I have a session with King Noir. But it's okay.
I said, oh no, nigga, we could push our thing.
You go get that and they come on home. Now,
(01:17):
normally I thought King Noir was a female client, but
he said that he was open for you to talk
about it. So tell us how you got to the
point where you finally hire a sex worker.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
All right, So this is where I had to do this.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
So I was in a toxic relationship and I developed
sexual performance anxiety. So I wasn't confident about my body.
He wasn't that like, it wasn't pouring into me. So
I'm like, am I.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Even good getting hard? Or just getting anxious?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Just getting anxious, like thinking like am I taking dick
the right way?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Or am I stucking his dick property? Because he would
just be like.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
It was I like, look at I And it made
me call other niggas like, yo, this isn't my dick game?
Like can I talk like, yeah, I'm like, so.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
This nigga's bugging. But he was just a toxic motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
So I was like, you know what, before I go
into this, and that's the point in my podcast, like
I use it to make sure, like I'm learning stuff
needs to be studied, so I'm learning about my sexual
needs and how to communicate better relationships.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
So I was like, you know what, I have to
do it. I have a segment called try It for
the podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
So I was like, such a good segment name.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Yes, I mean we say we don't stuck for research
with research, We're doing it for research over here.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
So I'm like, so I hit him up and I
was like, do you work with male clients? Because I
always was trying to figure out who works with male clients.
I know Ken, No, I know some marvels. But I'm like, so,
I'm like, well, Ken, I got to do it if
I seen him suck a couple of dicks.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
So, but he sucked.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Let's be very clear to separate only because I'm very
adamant in drawing the line between I've only seen King
no Art actively publicly suck trans women dicks. That's different
than medics. Yes, So when you hit him up, and
I don't know, like I'll say, you stuck a dick.
(02:56):
Those were attached to women. So what was your question
to him about dealing with male clients? Because I'm outside
of like three stooms, I've never seen him deal with
male clients.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
So I basically was like, oh, I'm interested in learning
my kings and fetishes, but I don't know anybody that
will male clients.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Can you point me to a direction? Who would you know?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, I'll take your money, Oh not?
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Can you guide me?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Give meidan where to go? And he said, I, you
know male conent. I was like, oh, let's talk about this.
So he told me he was like Donald Telegram, I telegram.
So he gave me his number and then we started
speaking about it.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
So did he send you his broundies boundaries too on
what he does with Yeah, So at first we did
a consultation. He's asking me well like and I'm like, yeah,
what were you hiring him for? I just want to know,
Like I want to do stuff that I never explored.
So I was like, let's do this session based off
a century play, like I want to I want to
see what flogging fils like.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
I want to feel. I want to feel different things
I want to do. I want to do a professional Okay,
it's like okay. So then he gave me a list
of stuff to fill out and my arm to see
what I'm into? Am I into change? Am I into which?
So I'm like, all right, I'm into this, I'm into that.
And then he was like, all right, I'll be back
in New York at this time. Let's follow up.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
But then he followed up.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
And then that's when like we start speaking the money.
I think it's pricey, but it.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Was expensive, was it under? It was five hundred to
one thousand, or thousand to fifteen hundred or what.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
I would say it was from twenty five hundred to
three thousand.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
I was gonna say, So Marvelous is like fifteen hundred
for two hours.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Like I have friends that book smarts these mother.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I can't tell you what he said.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I saved it. He can't tell it on camera.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
I have friends that have booked So Marvelous for over
two grand plus flights for like two to three hours.
Like I will say for anywhere, solo sessions, solo sessions,
I will say for.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Anyone listening, anyone that we've come.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
On this podcast and kind of talk to they not cheat, No, no, no,
she to that girl. Listen, she said six sixty six,
she said, she said, may you all listen to the
Dominatrix Jacks. She's the episode that you heard last week.
She shared her rate.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
She did, these niggas is expensive.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Yeah, they are. They are. So it was we get it. Yeah,
it was.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
It was put.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Him race for two hours or whatever. So I'm like, okay,
so you know you send a deposit and then.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Fifty percent deposit?
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Why I say for an hour? When not you have two?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Now?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
What did you go in paying.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
For an experience?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So I just I just want to try something like
I watching you guys show you learned with flog in
Nobody has a flog in it black.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I say that all the time. I'll be like, where
the fuck these niggas?
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
So you wanted to experience flogging it?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Right?
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Ye?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Flogging? Send three play? What other elements of sensory play?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
There was no exact reason. I just wanted to experience
and say, okay, I did the first round.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Now for the next round.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I know I wanted to up thinking that like okay,
he's guy said my yes, and nose.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
You're gonna get me whatever you got.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
I'm thinking, like, we're gonna do whatever you got.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
But he's like, Okay, when we get there, I'll show
you what type of tools and the equipments that I
have and we'll go through it.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
And his voice crazy that ship, that's it indeed.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So now we get there, so you have to book
the hotel yourself and then you tell him where to go.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
Wait, you got to pay him and pay for the room.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
So I booked the hotel on Time Square, okay, and
he came over and then he just came in. He
was like, you know, his voice is so deep there
and find it's so sexy. I'm thriking about him too.
So he was like, did he put the I don't
know what radio station. I think it's a snow All
(06:51):
radio station.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Not you know about sex playlist, Nigga pointed me. When
you say I didn't watch my ship, then playlist is it?
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Then he started taking the stuff out and then he
was like, all right, this room was a little small,
you know, it's New York City, Tom Square. He was like,
all right, we're gonna make this work though, So then
he started saying you want to be butt.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Naked, and I'm like, I'll keep my clothing for right now,
you know, like I just.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Want to I've been nervous to get naggd too.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
So then he's like telling me like layout and then
like so I started explaining to him why I want
to do it. I was having second so, like I
was insecure about my body and I just want to
build that confidence back. Yeah, he's already were gonna get
you there right, So and I told him I want
to be dominated, like I love a good dominant person
like and I love being a little bitch ass. So
so he told me spread out archie back.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
He said that you weren't naked.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
That wasn't that yet. He said, I have a great
arch and I think every person that needs to know
that I have a great arch.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
A great art.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
She said, my name Ke had a great art. Okay,
all right, So he had me like right out and
then he started flogging me.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Then he so he started using ice down my back,
and then he told me he was like, from now
here on out, every time you talk to me, you
have to say yes, king sir.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
So I'm just like, so he smacking my ass yes,
king sir, you like this. Yes. At one point I
was my mind. I said, yes, king daddy.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yes, he said, she'd be saying, my dick.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Literally, I get to the ship instead of what was
easy to come dick, okay, keep going, keep going.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Now he's doing that. I'm just like, all right, this
feels good. So now he tried to use another thing,
but it was like a what I think it's called
like a dragontail.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
That ship hurt.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
It felt like I was on roots, like, oh, so,
thank you for mentioning that. So it was red, green
or yellow. So it was at one point when he
was using the whips, I said red that Nigga stought
the music so fast.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I like, he said, you stuck everything. I was like, yoo,
don't kick.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yellow to me.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I love something because he's got to check in that music.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
I said, right that Nigga jumped over so fast something yellow.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Really happy to hear that.
Speaker 7 (09:20):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I like to click this because now we know what
it was safe for. It really should be looking like everything,
including back on you when you're out of sea.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
I looking at the nigga like everything he said.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
You said, right, nigga, you said your head let me gorsh.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
So then you know he's a speeding me affirmation.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
He was like, yo, you did that. He was like,
you took three strong wits. I'm like you, nigga, that
shit hurt. So he then from there he's back to
the ice play. Then he's telling me like, your body
is beautiful. Whatever your ex putting to you is poison.
And he's like, I was just like, so now I've
been over. He's standing on me right this not here
(10:07):
a zip word.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,
But why it's up there. Tap in for the full,
uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to
patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy,
t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else.
(10:28):
And now here's You've Got Decisions if you would like to.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job,
a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throatfle guess what You've
got decisions?
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Hey, guys, we'll welcome to another you Got Decisions Because
if it's one thing we know is we all have
the right to make a toy as. Now, I don't
know why it started this week off that way, but
I'm in a little then, Dude, I am here to
give my solicitor advice because you asked for a bitch.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
You motherfucking asked for it.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Okay, But before we get into the you Guy Decision
listeners submitted question of the week, I'm gonna read yet
another review from Amazon. But also we have an update
from a previous You Got Decisions listener about not being
able to nut. Now, if y'all just saw one of
our most recent episodes, soo, we was talking about our
(11:30):
favorite nuts, So y'all might want to go and check
that out and see if you like the nut like
me or if you like the nut like Wheezy. And
you know the type of nute we talk about. We're
not talking about all Mends and Peak Hans.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (11:44):
Anyways, y'all know we have our book out No Holds Bard,
a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And this
book review comes from Amazon read us sixty two. So
proud of Mandy and Whezy. This book is a must
read bestseller. It's titillating, informative, humorous, vulnerable, and soul stiring.
(12:06):
I identify so much with many of their experiences captured
in this book in terms of exploring sexuality, affirming my
personal preferences, and remaining open to learning new alternatives. The
Horror Hive has been a safe space for so many
of us. Can't wait for the masses to get to
know the brilliance of these two media mavens Xoxoh now,
(12:28):
I know that's right.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I know that's right.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
We want the world baby to get with it or
get lost. No, really excited about just the journey that
we're on with this book. A lot of things have
just been so unexpected, and I'm just really, really really
grateful for the horre Hive and everything. Also, keep track
(12:55):
of our Instagram page and Patreonon Patreon, we kind of
let you know everything that we got going on, So
join us on Patreon to be up to date where
we may be coming to a.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
City near you.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
We are looking to do more intimate spaces within the
bookstore routing and not doing the theaters. But we are
looking to bring the podcast back on tour, possibly at
the top of next year. We're looking to recreate it,
but for everything this year, we are focused only on
(13:29):
no holds barred. If you haven't got it yet, please
go out and get that hunt. Now, I'm going to
read an update from a previous letter before we get
to this week's question.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Now, this one is a follow up from I Can't
Get My Nut.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
If you want to see where that is, you can
go to our Instagram feed and literally it'll most likely
be titled I Can't get my nut on the YGD portion.
So hey, just wanted to say thank you both for
the advice. It really came through. After watching, I went
to the sex door, grabbed a new toy, some lube
(14:08):
and lingerie, set the mood with music and body oil
per Wheezy suggestion, and ended up squirting four times back
to back.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Now, to go from not.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
Getting a nut to squirting back to back four times,
let's you know, we kind of know what we'd be
talking about up here. Now we are unofficial experts on
all things, but baby, I think we kind of know
what we're talking when it comes to kind of the
bitch right. Ever since, it's been easier and way more consistent,
like something finally clicked. I've even caught myself trying to
(14:42):
run from it. I know that's right, what I've picked up.
Stop overthinking. Suction toys work well for me. Moaning makes
the difference. Mandy, this sent me over the edge. And
number four, no need to rush. Appreciate y'all for real,
for real. Now that's always been kind of like my tidbit.
(15:08):
And I guess it depends if you actually like verbal
sex or not. But moaning, baby, I will ask. I'll
be like, I will tell the man I don't hear you.
I don't hear you.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Let me hear you.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
Signify that what I'm doing is good. And then for
me moaning just oh it just made me feel good
or whatever. All right, let's get into this week's You
(15:44):
Got Decisions. If you have a question that you want
us to read here on You Got Decisions, please please
please email us now at.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Decisions pod at gmail dot com and just.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
See you know.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
If you'd like to see the full video of the
You Got Decisions for.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
The week, head on over a Baby to Patreon dot
com backslash Horrible Decisions. All right, let's see disciple sasshold.
I need some help, she said, needs your advice. Hey, girls,
I'm a new fan who loves listening to your podcast
and will love to get your advice on my current situation,
(16:26):
so I just had to email. I am recently out
of an eleven year relationship and we have two young children.
We are for sure over and I am ready to
move on with my life. Of course, there's a lot
more to it, but for the sake of not writing
you guys a whole book. Basically, he just stopped showing
me love, and after eleven years, we still weren't married
(16:50):
and I just have fallen out of love. He still
wants to work things out, but I am one hundred
percent done with that relationship for many reasons. We broke
up officially in October of last year, and I recently
started fucking a new man. My closest friend has told
me over and over again that she does not think
(17:11):
I should be sleeping with anyone so soon, and has
made it very clear that she doesn't agree with my choices,
and it just makes me kind of second guess what
I'm doing. I kind of like this new guy, and
I definitely enjoy the casual sex we've been having. So
do you guys think I'm moving on too fast? And
am I wrong for moving on knowing it would hurt
(17:34):
The father of my children.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
PS.
Speaker 5 (17:36):
I love what you guys are doing and pray you
continue to thrive love death. Now, I guess let's start
with friends and their opinions on what the fuck you
do with yo kuchi yo dick and your heart? Okay,
for me and how I operate, Let me share how
(17:56):
I operate, just so that you know where this advice.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Is coming from. I am someone that and y'all have
heard me say this time and time again.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
I don't think I have one friend who's relationship I envy,
or that I can look up to, or that I'm like, ooh,
they got it right, not one.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I think everyone has their ups and downs. I think
we all have.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
Different ways that we view relationship dynamics, the way that
we view looks.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Because bitch, that's another thing. My friends like media ugly niggas,
so we never agree on who to talk to who
not to.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
I just say, if you like it, I love it, sis,
And so for me, I normally come to my friends
and share the dirt after I already did it. You
know why, because bitch, I wasn't gonna care what you
said anyways. So let me go through the.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Dirt, the mud, the blood, get.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
My heart broke, feel stupid, feel dumb, and then I'm
gonna come to you and be like, bitch'all was a
dumb ass, bitch, let me tell you what I did, Like,
I literally just did that where I brought somebody back
from the past for like the fucking fifty eleventh time
that didn't deserve to be in my present, and he
showed his ass embarrassed me again. And I literally came
(19:20):
to my friends with the embarrassment, and I was like,
let me tell y'all why I really cut this nigga
off now, Because I wasn't gonna tell y'all, I was
letting him creep back in.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
But let me tell y'all why I don't talk to
him no more.
Speaker 5 (19:33):
And it was because he showed his ass, so to me,
I'd rather just get through the shit in silence and
then share with my friends the blow up. Right.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
And so when you're talking to your friends constantly about
your relationship.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
By the way, it's August, which means you broke up
with your baby daddy and your long standing relationship with
this man that didn't want to make you his wife
almost a year ago.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You are like eleven months ten eleven months to the year.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
I personally think you are currently at a place where
it is fine that you have moved on and am
having sex and are having sex with someone else. Now
when it comes to your friend, I think what we
as women need to do is learn to create our
create boundaries, tell our friends to shut the fuck up,
(20:26):
and still let them feel like they can share their
opinions at the same time.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
So let me tell you what I mean in terms
of creating boundaries.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
I think that you, if you feel like she's now
having you second guest someone, you should create your boundary
by saying, hey, I really love sharing you know what's
happening in my life with you. However, if you're going
to keep being negative about something that is currently bringing
me joy, I'm not going to feel comfortable sharing these
(20:56):
things with you. So I would love for you to
either respond to or if you ain't got nothing nice
to say, don't say nothing at all. There's a boundary
where you're giving her the right to still be privy
to the things in your life on the on the
precedents that she doesn't come to you with some negative
shit telling you you're not supposed to be doing what
you're doing right The other part is kindly telling a
(21:20):
bitch to shut the fuck up. Now, I'm gonna tell
you the toxic way to do it, and then i'm
gonna tell you. Let me tell you the nice way
to do it first. Then I'm gonna tell you the
toxic way to do it, because I've done it the
toxic way a few times and baby, it's shuts them
the fuck up. So the nice way to do it
would literally be to just say that, like, girl, every
time I bring this up to you and I'm talking
(21:41):
about my happiness, you have something negative to say, I
really wish you wouldn't do that. That would be the
nice way, right, to just be like, damn you negative,
Nancy pulls ass whole, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I'm happy and you writing all my motherfucking prey. Here's
the here's the toxic way.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
Here's the toxic way to check a friend who's giving
you the unsolicited device on what you're doing, especially when
they shit not together. Now, girl, you telling me all
these things, but when you left Craig, your baby daddy,
and when it started fucking Darius and you went.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Through all that shit, I supported your decisions to make
that right. What you do in.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
The toxic way to get a bitch to shut up
is to call out where they fucked up, call out
where they did some shit that you didn't agree with,
but you let them continue to find their way.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
That's the toxic way. And you shaking your hand, y'all.
I'm in the studio.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
I need to know studios right now, and the engineer
court is like shaking his hand, that would be the
toxic way. Like, bitch, hold up the mirror to your
friend and tell her how she did some fuckery and
you allowed her to just live in her fuckery.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
For as long as she lived in it. Ain't that
the right way to do a court.
Speaker 7 (23:04):
To be honest, I wouldn't even call that a toxic
my book. That's just that's just how I That's just
how I keep.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
It real with.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Let's be very clear. This is why my friends know.
Speaker 5 (23:15):
There are certain stories and inklings where once they start
giving me the advice on what I'm doing, Oh bitch,
at this point, girl, you're not serious because the way
your baby daddy is set up, the way you not
get it, the way a nigga ain't never.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Gave you that. I'm not the fact you feel.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
Me like it's so weird because we do normally have
all of this like rah, you know what I mean
for someone doing some shit that we think is some
some doodo, but then we expect them to kind of
be supportive when we're doing that same shit. And I
think it's it's the hypocritic nature of that, you know
what I mean, Like there's a lot of people who
(23:57):
could give advice that can't take their advice.
Speaker 7 (24:00):
So also too is like, don't lecture me on accountability
when you can't take it, like audacity is a thing.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
But also it's interesting to me, and I want to
go back to the letter. This is the father of
two children. They were together for eleven years. She mentions
like he stops showing up for her. She fell out
of love for him. And let's be very clear when
a woman's better, y'all know. I love referencing that. I
know even yeah, I don't care. One of the best
(24:30):
songs ever. So, knowing that she's stuck around this long,
she says she never got a ring, they never got married,
you know, and now she's moving on to someone that
a you She identified this person as casual sex, so
it's not like she's fully stepping out there to like
start dating someone else.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Yeah, she knew what it was in her mind.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Type you feel me and so to me.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
I genuinely feel like a you need to tell your
friend you either show up for me and support or
you don't. Secondly, since you called an asked, I do
not believe at all.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
That you are quote unquote moving too fast.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
I also don't think at this point personally, you should
be considering the feelings of your baby daddy. If you
have not been with him for ten or eleven months,
you quote unquote making him mad, which is what you
reference in this letter.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I'll tell you it's a little toxic. It's a little toxic.
Do you want to be with this man or do
you not? I think you should not be.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Considering your ex partner's feelings if the only relationship currently
is going to be co parenting. Now, if you genuinely
feel guilty that you're sleeping with someone else, if you
genuinely feel like you are doing something wrong, if you're
not feeling like you can express any sort of love
(25:55):
intimacy with another man, because your baby daddy, in this
lie in your relationship is still in the back of
your mind. You may need to sit with yourself to
figure out if you were actually one hundred percent done,
because you said you were one hundred percent over this man.
But the last sentence in this letter literally brings up
(26:16):
hurting his feelings. It said, and am I wrong for
moving on? Knowing it would hurt the father of my children?
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Girl, you're a good person.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
But he ain't worried about that.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
Obviously he's not, I mean, but you know what, and
if he is, if he's making you guilty for moving on, baby,
it's called manipulation. Uh, Because if he wanted to, he
would right. So, if he wanted to within those eleven years,
put a ring on your finger, make you his wife,
show up for you in a way that didn't make
(26:50):
you want to step out or leave or break up
or end the relationship, he would have. And so this
one foot in, one foot out, whatever he's doing right
now to you making you feel guilty, maybe you have
to stand true in what you want to do. And
if you said you're one hundred percent done, it looks
(27:10):
like only considering the feelings of the father of your
children in terms of the children, not what you're doing
with another man, not how you sleep in with another
man or moving on. It's funny because you reference him
as the father of your child, but you're to me
considering his feelings as an ex, as a lover, as
(27:32):
a partner, and so those have to be now separated.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
He is the father of your child and an ex
two different things.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
The father of your children can't make you feel guilty
for moving on in a relationship when y'all are no
longer in a relationship now an ex who might still
just be trying to keep in and has the emotional
lingering ties to you as a lover and a partner,
those are the strings that you need to break free of.
If you're saying he didn't show up for you, y'all
(28:02):
spent eleven years together. You're saying you've moved on. You
got to move on, and moving on looks like cutting
those emotional ties and specifically any guilt around how you're
enjoying yourself outside of being with him. So those would
be my two tidbits. I don't think you're moving too fast.
(28:24):
You're almost a year out of that relationship. I think
you are owed an orgasm a nut intimacy company. You're
old that all people are like, we're owed that. I
would also make sure that you are cutting those sexual
and intimate ties with your baby daddy, because you can't
(28:47):
be double dipping and then telling him you one hundred
percent done with him.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
You either move the bug on, or you don't you
say or you don't like.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
You can't be on both sides of the coin, and
so stand firm on business.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
If you one hundred percent over, talk to your friend.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
In either the nice way or to realize bitchway and
figure out how how much you want or need your
friend's input on how you handle your love life. That
would be my advice to you. Let me see who
wait this way, good on this way, good on this y'all.
(29:30):
This one was a quick one this week, but make
sure you hit us up send us an email. That's
Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. Also in the comments,
make sure you go on over to our Instagram at
underscore Decisions Decisions, leave your comments, engage, let me know
(29:52):
what you think this person should do. And also you
get to see the full video over on our Patreon.
So that's patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible Decisions where you
could go ahead and give your advice get into the community,
join our discord, talk do all the things, and thank
you guys for constantly supporting, listening to us, rocking with
(30:13):
us if you want to listen to more of me
as well. Y'all know I got Selective Ignorance every Tuesday
and Friday, So just go on over to Selective Ignorance.
Wherever you listen to Decisions Decisions, I'm there, and you
can also go watch all of period to Selective Ignorance
and everything Mandy b Over on my YouTube channel at
(30:34):
with Mandy b Search that and thank you guys so
much for tuning in. It's another you got Decisions. We
will see you next Homeday, baby Hie
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