October 29, 2025 • 31 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You literally moved me out the house, and then you
wrote a letter to me in twenty twenty to break
it off with me.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Wait, he broke up with you with a letter, not
a four pen No, no, it was not four pages.
It was forty seven. And wait, he broke it with
you with a book. Forty seven book page some.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Of the highlights chapter. When you were reading it, I'm
sure it's too long, But what are some of the
things that.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Made you to get like?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
What the forty seven pages? First of all, he tried
to isolate me with the letter. The first page he said,
read this when you are alone and by yourself. Just
remember you asked for this. Now what he meant by
that was for an entire year, all of twenty nineteen,
I had been asking him questions about what was going on,
(00:47):
because I already knew that we were uncoupling, because I
felt that I noticed signs when trying to avoid me, right,
and he was very emotionally avoidant. Right, So for a
whole year stopped answering my emails, text messages, calls.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
And would check in when he wanted to. But how
is so you already were living apart? Yeah, because he
moved me out the house while I was.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Out of town. So this was before the divorce.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yes, okay, this was in twenty nineteen and April, but
I was on tour, so I was moving around doing.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
My tourationship and a happy point. Was it a shock?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
The moving me out while I was out of town
was a shock because it completely turned my world upside down.
And he also like displaced me with the person we
had moved in with us, who was houseless. Now I
wasn't houseless because I got my family in Chicago, so
that's where I went back to. But you're my husband
and we're living together, and you just uproot my whole life.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
It's a whole lot behind that.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
But then he started like dropping letters on me right
to explain things. And in one of his letters, his
whole reasoning from us moving out was well, you said
you never had your own I want you to have
your own I want you to grow. But really it
was like he wanted his own space, he wanted his
own thing, and he didn't want to have to be
possible for somebody because he's their husband. He would always
say things like I'm not doing this for you because
(02:07):
you're my wife.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I'm doing it because I want to.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
Wow, and so can I ask you, if you're so
much about the takes, why aren't you doing it?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Because I'm your wife number one.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I know it's a.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Controversial, but the way that doctor Umar talks about family
dynamics and honoring people and the hierarchy and prioritization of
women wives, et cetera, which he practiced it though it's
a shrink up by him.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Wait wait, wait, so you think he's just talked.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I'm gonna shut up about him.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
But no, this is you can say here what No,
I don't think that he practices what he talks about.
I think he's he is a hot take and he
knows that he has been a hot take for like
two decades.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And I know people who's personally interact with him.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
But like he has.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
He does help, he has a lot of and he
anyway a child.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I didn't know anyway child.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
I think he got that suki with the good too.
Oh he definitely did. But you know, and I'm just
saying that off of just optics.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
A bunch of people makes you.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
But to me, however, I will say, if you're a
man who values a woman's place in a family, dynamic
and you don't have a family dynamic.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I thought he got married to a woman before too.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I'll tell you this.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Shot.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
If doctor white woman, I might just go on a
live and you must be getting to.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Gonna say it.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
I know I will say though, because he goes borrowed
so much. I think if he's a white woman, she
would have.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Came out by now.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Oh he got her on an iron clad NDA but
maybe you right doubt it though he really he really
is about Pan Africanism and like our people.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
So I will say, there's white Africans, Yeah, there is.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I've seen them when I went to see them too,
was white Africans. But Charlie star Around is white and
South Africa. Yeah, Musk is a white African.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Yeah you know.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
But anyway, hey, we are also American, but we were
brought here. So I don't like to act like white
people have their ground.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
And anything saying everybody ever will but yeah that's but yeah,
so I hear him saying I'm doing this because I
want to. But as if he has no obligation to
live out his role as a husband to a wife,
it's crazy because you're right, he was separating.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
It's a help oh my god.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
So it's a whole backstory with this man, and I
really do think that the marriage served the purpose of
what I say before we got on this mic ego
stroking because he grew up, he grew up in practicing Islam,
so he was a Muslim man.
Speaker 6 (04:54):
I'll never never, never good never right, was Joe, yes girl,
But he was a Harlem Muslim.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Seventh Street exactly.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
The Harlem Mustlers was like, they became Muslims through one
of the members getting locked up in the prison and
they learned the Islam in prison and came out and
became ALcom Literally.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
My mother and I were talking about my uncle who
passed her brother, and I was trying not to laugh.
We're in the car with my man, it's Christmas, and
we're talking about family and how she's the only one
left because her siblings died, and.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
She's like, you know, when he became Muslim and Jeri,
he was like.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Met my cousin, and she's like, you know, he just
took a lot of those principles on.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I was like, you know what, I will.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Say, I would rather met in jail find Islam than
anything else, Like I must say that, but didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Find a hobby. Learn how to do girl? Oh what
is your read?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Is long?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Bible? Whatever it is?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Hold on, cour on whatever.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
Now got a fast When you get out of gym,
I'm not start praying to the East.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Sorry, trying to make fun of me. Was religion, but
I'm trying to shoo. I'm not.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
No, when you date someone in their religion, broke. If
you don't convert, if you don't want them to convert,
women don't do it.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It's tough. Listen.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
He wasn't a practicing Muslim. He was, he wasn't practicing Islam,
but he still identified as Muslim. But at that time,
you know, there's a whole thing around marriage and having family,
and nobody, nobody wanted to marry him.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
So I felt like that was in hindsight.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Looking at it, it was like a validation for him
to have somebody that.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
I think he was proposing though to multiple partners. No, okay, no,
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
But that's the thing that just with my head, which
I'm going to therapy for this is I know that
a lot of what he did for me was sincere,
but he also had his own agendas, and I could
tell the relationship between him and his mother. There was
a lot of contention there, and he has mommy issues
also daddy issues. It's a whole, it's all. I want
to go too deep into this man's personal business, but
(07:10):
it's very deep. So I did get extremely close to him,
I think, closer than any other partner, to the point
where like I was there to go support him when
his grandmother had passed away, and you while to get together,
Like when I first met him, he was kind of
like a transition of sorts. But I mean meeting his mother,
(07:32):
meeting his father, having relationships with his sister, like I
have relationships with his family. So I think of all
the partners he ever had, I got the deepest and
the closest to him. And I think that the things
that I brought up in him he was uncomfortable with,
and so he wanted to create a distance.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Also, I don't.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Care that he was ready to be with somebody where
he had to be locked in because he was so
used to being free. Now, to answer your question around
what this man did, this man did a lot of
different jobs, but he had no solid job.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
But his ideal was like I have no future plans.
That was his thing.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Because again the spiritual principles, the spiritual principles that he
thought all plans are pretend plants in the eyes of God,
so I have no future plans. But the reason why
that man could be like Peter Pan and just do
what he wanted to do in this world is because
his family got money.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Oh I didn't really.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Know that until I sat and I thought about it,
and until one of my lovers in Brooklyn got worth
that I got married.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Okay, and he how long were y all dating before
you got married? We started dating and we started today quick,
but it was like.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
Six months marriage. Why did he want marriage? And did
you want marriage as well as a polygony?
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
I wanted it because at the time that's what I
was looking for came Yeah, so when it came right,
and it's what's crazy, as I want the primary but
he never saw MEA's primary.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
No.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
We had this conversation and I told him so where
this is where it gets crazy, because I don't think
that he really had the principles and the ideals around
like structure of polyamory.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
But of course he doesn't want the freedom coming from Islam.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
A lot of them the idea is you can have
multiple wise multiple people in their life.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Right, So a lot of the structure.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Of things, even with like kink and BDSM and all
that and lifestyle. I taught him that stuff, you know
what I mean. But with him being the leader of
our relationship, I wasn't allowed to take the lead in
educating or leading conversations around that. And again ego thing,
and again I was playing a role. I was like,
let me just see what it's like right now, you know.
(09:56):
So it was like he was trifling with marriage, and
the way that we did it was I let him
do all the research in all of the planning for
the wedding and all that stuff, because he was like,
I want a research marriage before we jump into it.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
And so he went and did a historical historical we
asked our episode.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yes I hate him.
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Yes, he's a Rastafarian, Islamic, He's a spiritual. So it's
crazy because the whole situation around him just being very
flighty around what he does in life, like he already
had money and I didn't.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Know that until my lover from Brooklyn told me that
his people in.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Harlem told him, oh, your girl got married to some
rich dude, And I was like, is that a guest?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Did y'all know that? But I put two and two
together based on the properties and things.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
That his family owned and managed in Harlem, and I
was just like, Oh, what the But he didn't act
like it.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
He didn't he didn't.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
Act Can I ask you? I know you said you're
in therapy. Definitely that they like doing that, they like
acting like. I've met so many rich kids.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I would I would say.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
The only person I know in my life that is
a black sheet that really got her own is Liz Goldwin.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Yes, I love her, Liz. She really is like for it,
like when we talked.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
When I look at pictures of her from the past,
I'm like, wow, Now I really believe rich kids grow
up and they just want to be rejective of that
because they're like, oh, well, it's not cool, it's not
he nepotism.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Black nepotism is great.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
But why it's that there?
Speaker 5 (11:40):
Tap in for the full, uncut and way naster episodes
over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot com, backslash Horrible
Decisions and unlock all the messy t wild stories and
bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's
you've got decisions.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
If you would like to have us?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And are your questions if you have a terrible job,
a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throufle guess what.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You've got decisions, You've got decision.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Hey, everybody, welcome back another hump day. Another problem in
our lives.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
In our lives is your listeners.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I guess it's got to pretty much be a problem
if you hit us up. But also we'll take some
other questions. Give us some co worker shit, some family
drama shit. I feel like it's always the romance in love.
We know other stuff.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Listen.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
It's because these folks be just waiting for a man, honey,
or they be with a man too long and they
know there it's time to go. Speaking of that, y'all
can read about that in our book Note Holds Barred,
a dual manifesto of sexual exploration.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
And power out now for you pus sass host.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
But yeah, I agree, I would love to hear more,
like maybe scenarios about your work life, maybe friendship. I mean,
we know that this is the sex, dating and Relationship Pod.
But god damn it, do you guys want to ask
us questions about aliens? Do y'all care our thoughts on
the democracy? What about like some hypotheticals like give us
(13:15):
something cute and fun, because goddamn, your relationships are depressing
the guys.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
That secretly listen, I would actually like them to be
hitting us up for advice because what I realized over
the years as two women hosting a show, men don't
really want to.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Say out loud they listening to decisions decisions. So if
you are listening, does use let alias say don't read
my name, in which we don't. We don't even read
you bitch's names on you.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
It's only if you're writy. I like when y'all do
little adjectives like single and confused.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
That's the shit I meant to.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
Well, please send us your questions where you need advice,
and you can send that to Decisions Pod at gmail
dot com. This one is interesting because the subject of
(14:10):
this email, bitch.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
You asking us, Why don't you just ask your nigga? Now?
Speaker 5 (14:16):
The question for today is, oh, no, is my boyfriend gay?
Speaker 4 (14:25):
It's because you live in Atlanta? Bitch.
Speaker 5 (14:27):
All right, let's get into it. Girl gays live outside
of Atlanta. But here we go. Now, this one's a
little long, so bear with me. But that means that
there's a lot of details for us to dissect. So
let's get into it.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Hi, Mandy and Wheezy.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
I recently got into a relationship and I'm wondering if
my boyfriend is gay. In January of twenty twenty five,
we matched on a dating app and quickly set up
a coffee day. I met him for coffee during my
lunch break from work and we hit it off. He
actually lived in another state and was in town for work.
(15:04):
After coffee, he asked if I would be open to
joining him for dinner that night, and I gladly said.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Dinner was great right out the gate.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Dinner was great, but he had to go back home
the next day, so we weren't able to spend much
more time together. After we went back home, we talked
via text and voiced chat every day. We had a
couple of calls over the phone, but he said he
wasn't much of a phone talker. I didn't mind since
the communication was so consistent. He came out to visit
(15:38):
for Valentine's Day and mentioned that he also had an interview.
I got him a small gift, but he didn't get
me anything. He felt bad and got me something from
a store we stopped at for Valentine's Day. We went
to dinner and hit a couple of bars, and he
asked for us to be exclusively in our relationship. I said, yes,
that's funny, that's how that's the time. I'm fraid I
(16:00):
got in my relationship this year. Well, you mean Valentine's
Valentine's Yeah, well the week before because I was going
to All Star Weekend. Anyways, Shortly after him going back
home from his visit, he tells me he landed the
job and he will be moving to my town the
following month.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
In March.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
I was excited for the potential of this new relationship.
I was skeptical that this happened so quickly, but tried
to keep a positive outlook. He mentioned that back home
he had a roommate, which was a friend from college
that needed to get back on his feet because he
was an immigrant and a visa expired. At the end
of March, my boyfriend moved out here and got an
(16:38):
airbnb until he was able to get an apartment two
weeks later. I came to the apartment once and never
again because he said he didn't have any furniture. As
we continued to see each other, I started noticing that
he found men attractive by some of the comments he
made and one incident where he was clearly flirting with
a man and asked for his Instagram right in front
(17:00):
of me. I tried to ask him about his sexuality
and that topic was uncomfortable for him. He came from
a very religious family, so I figured that is where
the discomfort was and thought he might be bisexual, but
not ready to speak about it. Regardless, flirting with another
person in front of me is disrespectful and it didn't
sit with me well. We continue to spend every day
(17:22):
together until he went back home to get his belongings
to move to his new apartment. That's when everything changed.
His roommate from back home came to move with him
into his one bedroom apartment, which I wasn't initially made
aware of. I came over once to meet the guy,
(17:44):
and it wasn't clear that he knew I was the girlfriend.
He was showing me their plans and asking him that
I show him around town. I found this strange. I
asked my boyfriend, if he knew his friend was moving
with him, why not get a two bedroom instead of
one bedroom?
Speaker 4 (18:01):
He said, he isn't supposed to stay here very long.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
I then asked how long he had been living with
him back home, and he replied nine years. All of
the alarms started going off in my body, and I
thought to myself, this is his boyfriend and I am
his beard. Ever since his boyfriend moved into town, we
have started seeing each other less and less the times
(18:25):
we do spend together. I paid more attention to him
and noticed that he only checks out met I should
have known better, because the intimacy EH wasn't there. He
didn't like the tongue kiss, it would only give me pecks.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
And we've only had sex two times.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Both of those times, he couldn't keep it up, and
at one point started talking about the gay guy we
previously met, whom he was farighting with. I was like, OMG,
he is fantasizing about other men to try to be
aroused enough to have sex with me. I'd like to
hear your thoughts on whether or not you think he
is gay, or whether or not his friend is actually
(19:03):
his gay life partner.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
And should I break up with him? Thanks so much?
Love y'all. A beard for the.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
Boy singles in, confused, Well, she's in a relationship and confused.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
But here's the thing. Sometimes, when.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
When I get and this is advice for anyone, this
is actually unsolicited advice. Sometimes when I think the worst
even about somebody, and it could be someone I know,
is the worst of a situation that I'm like, this is.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
A fuck nik, this is a person I've been burned
by before. I still am like, well, why would they
want to do this?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Why would he want to have his boyfriend fake the relationship?
Speaker 4 (19:48):
Why would he want to get now does he need
the beard?
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Like, if he's been living with this person so long,
why would he be putting them in on this plan
to coerce you?
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Like, I don't think it's a coersion.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
She mentioned, and that he comes from a strong religious background,
so she feels like that's where his discomfort lies.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
It's also interesting to.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Me that this is your boyfriend you are writing this.
By the way, this is brand new. We just got
this email at the end of September. So girl, you
started dating him back in February. You met him in January,
and you've only had sex twice. So to me, here's
my question.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
If you're.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Not bothered enough to already break up with him, are
you fine actually being a beard?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Are you fine being with a man that you find bisexual?
Speaker 5 (20:36):
You even said at the top of this letter you
actually thought he was bisexual, and you still chose to
stay with him. Yes, flirting with other people, whether it's
a man or woman in front of you, you find disrespectful,
but you didn't seem turned off or completely disattracted to
him or unattracted to him. With the fact that he
(20:58):
was even flirting with a guy, I would have you
actually asked the questions to yourself. This isn't for me
to determine whether that man is his boyfriend or whether
your boyfriend is gay. The question is are you fine
with existing as a quote unquote beard to a man
who may also have attractions and a potential relationship with
(21:18):
a man. Because to know that you're still with him
makes me feel like you're not that bothered by it.
So maybe this is your chance to actually have the conversation,
not questioning his relationship. But if you need more, I'm
assuming also you don't need more sex. However, he's showing
up has been enough, So I'm curious to know if
maybe you just have to sit with yourself to know
(21:39):
what's being left out for you, because it's not his
sexuality that seems to be the problem at all.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
So I'm starting to think maybe he's just like taking
a gay out of it. What if he isn't gay,
what if he's asexual, Because sometimes people that are asexual
genuinely do have the attraction to you. They want the intimacy,
they're able to perform and from antic scenarios so they
can show up for you how you need in life.
They can do all these things, but they're not necessarily
(22:06):
going to want to fuck you. And Ah, a sexual
friend before that always had women think that he was gay,
and it was like super frustrating, to the point where
even he was like, I really don't like men, but
like the pressure that everyone's making you feel when you
don't want to be.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
Sexual is really heavy.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
So I actually think the larger question is the sexual aspect.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
I agree.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
I was about to say, damn, y'all know I would
date about sexual man, but so I was about to
say damn, what's worth your man being gay, your man
not wanting to have sex, And I'm like, whoa, I
definitely want you to fuck me. So I think I
agree with you, bro like because to.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Me that even a gay nigga that's gonna end up
with you're gonna fuck like like it's just only twice
from February to September.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
It's just so.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Then maybe the question is if you move to a
conversation for him to admit that maybe he's bisexual or
he has any sort of attraction to men, right. I
think to find out his level of sexual energy or
appetite comes from maybe seeing if he's actually had sex
(23:09):
with men, and if so, hopefully getting to the point
where he can express how often he has sex with men,
because in this point.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
He wasn't that excited, Like maybe he wasn't flirting with
the gay dude.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Maybe she's just so, what's the word?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Uh? When you're like, she's looking for something, Damn, I
can't get this word.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
She's looking for something like damn.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I feel like it's such a basic word. I'm gonna
probably get it later tonight.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
When you're so, oh my god, girl, and you know, bitch,
I can't help you with the words.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Okay, wait, hold on, it's the word when like you're
looking around suspicious. Oh okay, okay, I thay, she's so
suspicious about what the fuck is going on that maybe
he wasn't flirting with the gay nigga.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Maybe he just friendly ass nig like.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
I don't know, because could be like, if you really
are suspicious about something, let's just say it's even a
cheating guy, you're gonna start looking at every woman in
his life, the girl he works with, a cousin. You
wna look at everybody because you're vicious. So at this point,
because you can't figure out why you're not having the
volume of sex that you want, now you're looking at
(24:20):
these other area in its life that may be completely innocent.
We're just labeling the gay on there. Do you live
in Atlanta's sister, Yeah, gay is a lot.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
I mean well, I even don't even think where she
lives matters because he moved. He moved to the city,
so he was living he was living somewhere else. I'm
curious to know to I'm not gonna lie. I just
don't think if only a couple, if only a couple
months later, first off, he moves to another city and
(24:52):
gets a one bedroom and has a guy move into
the one bedroom. I think that's a lot like nigger
are y'all sleeping together at night?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Like I don't know one of my Okay, I gold
you with her fucking cousin for like a year.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
That's family.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
A cousin is different than two people sleeping in the
sharing a room.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Together because they had a two bedroom before.
Speaker 5 (25:17):
And so maybe they maybe the city that they moved
to is more expensive and he could only get a
one bed.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
Bro, why did that need to move? That is kind
of crazy. That's crazy, is it not? But I just
don't think it's his boyfriend. Why don't you think that
their boyfriends? Do you just not think?
Speaker 5 (25:33):
Like, what makes based on all the information we got,
what makes you think that's not his boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Because this lead into a boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
To me, we're in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
Okay, one can be religious and one can be out.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
But it's pretty crazy to think that two people are
gonna be lying about the relationship.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Well, so they're not lying, so no.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
She expressed that when she went to the house, he
seemed the roommate guy seemed oblivious to the fact that
he even had a girlfriend and called the plants in
the house their plants.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
So it's not that the roommate could be hiding at all.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
It seems to be oblivious about the girlfriend is even bad.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
I don't think that's bad, Like they've been living together
nine years. Of course they're their plants.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
But if there was, if it was his nigga, she
would have been able to see something else.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Like what if she was over the house. If it's
two niggas in the closet.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
This is hard because even though all roads lead to
gay and dick sucking, I'm just like, it can't.
Speaker 5 (26:39):
Be that, but all roads literally lead to that's his boyfriend.
Yomana's gay insists you need to I'm not even gonna
tell you to break up with him. Well, that's the thing.
I'm not even gonna tell you to break up with him.
That's why my advice was to that last question, what
do you want out of the relationship in are you
being fulfilled? And if this is a relationship that you
(26:59):
do want to keep intact, but you need more sex,
you know, the conversation always is to me, talk to
him about getting some other dick or whatever.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Else you want elsewhere? And see what his response is
to that.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Because if this all happened in like March April, bitsch,
just October, we in Q four hoe and you still
with demand. You didn't even want a hot girl summer,
you stayed with him thinking he was gay all summer.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Maybe it's really not a real relationship.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
And hear me out, oh, because bitches do be delusional
if it happened that fast, like did they even talk
every day?
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Like I have you got it?
Speaker 5 (27:39):
They met okay, they met on a they met on
a dating app in January, met in person in January,
met for coffee, then had dinner the same night. Limited communication,
and I see limited because even if it was consistent,
I don't consider texting away you would get to know somebody.
(27:59):
His next visit was Valentine's Day. So even if y'all
met on New Year's Eve, the most y'all knew each
other was six weeks before he said, be my girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
That's not crazy, though, he just I just think they
just changed. I don't know how they are, but I'm
gonna be realal with you. I've met a lot okay,
and men that be in relationships, But like.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
But if a man.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
If a man asks you to be his girlfriend and
to be exclusive, that actually does indicate that you're in
a relationship with that man, right saying.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
It's not a relationship in the way that we think
a relationship should be the way that most people are
in relationships. Is they're gearing to date for the long haul,
for XYZ whatever. I feel like both of them aren't
taking this shit serious, like to be having sex twice
and not communicating about it. How real is your relationship, nigga?
(28:52):
You can't get an attitude twice before I bring it up?
Speaker 5 (28:54):
What? Maybe they both a sexual? Because I don't see
how do you? I don't see how well you've allowed
two times in ten months for how how many times
you done got your back blown out?
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Sis?
Speaker 3 (29:07):
It's just off, That's what I'm saying. They both just
feeling off.
Speaker 5 (29:10):
Bitch Mabe and I think that she wants to be
an asexual beard.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
I think she's fine with being a beard. I just
think she.
Speaker 5 (29:17):
Needs to be proud in bear. She literally signed the
email a beard to a boy.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
I still think he a sexual. I don't know why.
It's just the twice don't make sense.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Like think about when you've like had interactions with bi
and man fucked about it.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
They they are them niggas.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Fuck, That's what I'm saying, Like, bro, I got by
niggas be all my dick.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
They're almost an unhealthy amount of sexual bisexual men arc
like well shit, bisexual women maybe too.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
That's why we so God damn hoo. We've been inside
of you once. Why wouldn't he want to be eating
you again? Also he did go again, just not again
again and again. Yeah, something's off.
Speaker 5 (30:00):
I really don't think to buy. I'm not gonna lie.
This is one of those where sis. Please let us
know how the conversation goes. I do want to know
if you can get down to the answers. Is that
his boyfriend? Have they been together for nine years? Are
they sleeping in the bed together? Is he asexual? And
(30:21):
we'll find all of this out next time on dragon
ball z. But no, seriously, please send it into us.
Decisionspot at gmail dot com. Would love, love love. I'm
gonna even respond to your email now, Bitch. We need
the tea, we need the update.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Give it to us.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Because I ain't gonna be able to leave bitch until
I find out.
Speaker 5 (30:41):
If your nigga, I need to know, I actually want
to know, and draw me your thoughts below.
Speaker 4 (30:48):
Again.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
If you are on Patreon, you get to see this
full video, so go ahead and drop your thoughts if
you're on Patreon. If not, head on over to our
social channels and let you let us know what you
think needs to happen here.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Should she break up with him or she should she
just live.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
Her best life as a beer Let us know, okay,
and we'll see y'all next week.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Bye,
You literally moved me out the house, and then you
wrote a letter to me in twenty twenty to break
it off with me.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Wait, he broke up with you with a letter, not
a four pen No, no, it was not four pages.
It was forty seven. And wait, he broke it with
you with a book. Forty seven book page some.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Of the highlights chapter. When you were reading it, I'm
sure it's too long, But what are some of the
things that.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Made you to get like?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
What the forty seven pages? First of all, he tried
to isolate me with the letter. The first page he said,
read this when you are alone and by yourself. Just
remember you asked for this. Now what he meant by
that was for an entire year, all of twenty nineteen,
I had been asking him questions about what was going on,
(00:47):
because I already knew that we were uncoupling, because I
felt that I noticed signs when trying to avoid me, right,
and he was very emotionally avoidant. Right, So for a
whole year stopped answering my emails, text messages, calls.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
And would check in when he wanted to. But how
is so you already were living apart? Yeah, because he
moved me out the house while I was.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Out of town. So this was before the divorce.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yes, okay, this was in twenty nineteen and April, but
I was on tour, so I was moving around doing.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
My tourationship and a happy point. Was it a shock?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
The moving me out while I was out of town
was a shock because it completely turned my world upside down.
And he also like displaced me with the person we
had moved in with us, who was houseless. Now I
wasn't houseless because I got my family in Chicago, so
that's where I went back to. But you're my husband
and we're living together, and you just uproot my whole life.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
It's a whole lot behind that.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
But then he started like dropping letters on me right
to explain things. And in one of his letters, his
whole reasoning from us moving out was well, you said
you never had your own I want you to have
your own I want you to grow. But really it
was like he wanted his own space, he wanted his
own thing, and he didn't want to have to be
possible for somebody because he's their husband. He would always
say things like I'm not doing this for you because
(02:07):
you're my wife.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I'm doing it because I want to.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
Wow, and so can I ask you, if you're so
much about the takes, why aren't you doing it?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Because I'm your wife number one.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I know it's a.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Controversial, but the way that doctor Umar talks about family
dynamics and honoring people and the hierarchy and prioritization of
women wives, et cetera, which he practiced it though it's
a shrink up by him.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Wait wait, wait, so you think he's just talked.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I'm gonna shut up about him.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
But no, this is you can say here what No,
I don't think that he practices what he talks about.
I think he's he is a hot take and he
knows that he has been a hot take for like
two decades.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And I know people who's personally interact with him.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
But like he has.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
He does help, he has a lot of and he
anyway a child.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I didn't know anyway child.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
I think he got that suki with the good too.
Oh he definitely did. But you know, and I'm just
saying that off of just optics.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
A bunch of people makes you.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
But to me, however, I will say, if you're a
man who values a woman's place in a family, dynamic
and you don't have a family dynamic.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I thought he got married to a woman before too.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I'll tell you this.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Shot.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
If doctor white woman, I might just go on a
live and you must be getting to.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Gonna say it.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
I know I will say though, because he goes borrowed
so much. I think if he's a white woman, she
would have.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Came out by now.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Oh he got her on an iron clad NDA but
maybe you right doubt it though he really he really
is about Pan Africanism and like our people.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
So I will say, there's white Africans, Yeah, there is.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I've seen them when I went to see them too,
was white Africans. But Charlie star Around is white and
South Africa. Yeah, Musk is a white African.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Yeah you know.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
But anyway, hey, we are also American, but we were
brought here. So I don't like to act like white
people have their ground.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
And anything saying everybody ever will but yeah that's but yeah,
so I hear him saying I'm doing this because I
want to. But as if he has no obligation to
live out his role as a husband to a wife,
it's crazy because you're right, he was separating.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
It's a help oh my god.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
So it's a whole backstory with this man, and I
really do think that the marriage served the purpose of
what I say before we got on this mic ego
stroking because he grew up, he grew up in practicing Islam,
so he was a Muslim man.
Speaker 6 (04:54):
I'll never never, never good never right, was Joe, yes girl,
But he was a Harlem Muslim.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Seventh Street exactly.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
The Harlem Mustlers was like, they became Muslims through one
of the members getting locked up in the prison and
they learned the Islam in prison and came out and
became ALcom Literally.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
My mother and I were talking about my uncle who
passed her brother, and I was trying not to laugh.
We're in the car with my man, it's Christmas, and
we're talking about family and how she's the only one
left because her siblings died, and.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
She's like, you know, when he became Muslim and Jeri,
he was like.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Met my cousin, and she's like, you know, he just
took a lot of those principles on.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I was like, you know what, I will.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Say, I would rather met in jail find Islam than
anything else, Like I must say that, but didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Find a hobby. Learn how to do girl? Oh what
is your read?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Is long?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Bible? Whatever it is?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Hold on, cour on whatever.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
Now got a fast When you get out of gym,
I'm not start praying to the East.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Sorry, trying to make fun of me. Was religion, but
I'm trying to shoo. I'm not.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
No, when you date someone in their religion, broke. If
you don't convert, if you don't want them to convert,
women don't do it.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It's tough. Listen.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
He wasn't a practicing Muslim. He was, he wasn't practicing Islam,
but he still identified as Muslim. But at that time,
you know, there's a whole thing around marriage and having family,
and nobody, nobody wanted to marry him.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
So I felt like that was in hindsight.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Looking at it, it was like a validation for him
to have somebody that.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
I think he was proposing though to multiple partners. No, okay, no,
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
But that's the thing that just with my head, which
I'm going to therapy for this is I know that
a lot of what he did for me was sincere,
but he also had his own agendas, and I could
tell the relationship between him and his mother. There was
a lot of contention there, and he has mommy issues
also daddy issues. It's a whole, it's all. I want
to go too deep into this man's personal business, but
(07:10):
it's very deep. So I did get extremely close to him,
I think, closer than any other partner, to the point
where like I was there to go support him when
his grandmother had passed away, and you while to get together,
Like when I first met him, he was kind of
like a transition of sorts. But I mean meeting his mother,
(07:32):
meeting his father, having relationships with his sister, like I
have relationships with his family. So I think of all
the partners he ever had, I got the deepest and
the closest to him. And I think that the things
that I brought up in him he was uncomfortable with,
and so he wanted to create a distance.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Also, I don't.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Care that he was ready to be with somebody where
he had to be locked in because he was so
used to being free. Now, to answer your question around
what this man did, this man did a lot of
different jobs, but he had no solid job.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
But his ideal was like I have no future plans.
That was his thing.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Because again the spiritual principles, the spiritual principles that he
thought all plans are pretend plants in the eyes of God,
so I have no future plans. But the reason why
that man could be like Peter Pan and just do
what he wanted to do in this world is because
his family got money.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Oh I didn't really.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Know that until I sat and I thought about it,
and until one of my lovers in Brooklyn got worth
that I got married.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Okay, and he how long were y all dating before
you got married? We started dating and we started today quick,
but it was like.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
Six months marriage. Why did he want marriage? And did
you want marriage as well as a polygony?
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
I wanted it because at the time that's what I
was looking for came Yeah, so when it came right,
and it's what's crazy, as I want the primary but
he never saw MEA's primary.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
No.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
We had this conversation and I told him so where
this is where it gets crazy, because I don't think
that he really had the principles and the ideals around
like structure of polyamory.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
But of course he doesn't want the freedom coming from Islam.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
A lot of them the idea is you can have
multiple wise multiple people in their life.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Right, So a lot of the structure.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Of things, even with like kink and BDSM and all
that and lifestyle. I taught him that stuff, you know
what I mean. But with him being the leader of
our relationship, I wasn't allowed to take the lead in
educating or leading conversations around that. And again ego thing,
and again I was playing a role. I was like,
let me just see what it's like right now, you know.
(09:56):
So it was like he was trifling with marriage, and
the way that we did it was I let him
do all the research in all of the planning for
the wedding and all that stuff, because he was like,
I want a research marriage before we jump into it.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
And so he went and did a historical historical we
asked our episode.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yes I hate him.
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Yes, he's a Rastafarian, Islamic, He's a spiritual. So it's
crazy because the whole situation around him just being very
flighty around what he does in life, like he already
had money and I didn't.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Know that until my lover from Brooklyn told me that
his people in.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Harlem told him, oh, your girl got married to some
rich dude, And I was like, is that a guest?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Did y'all know that? But I put two and two
together based on the properties and things.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
That his family owned and managed in Harlem, and I
was just like, Oh, what the But he didn't act
like it.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
He didn't he didn't.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
Act Can I ask you? I know you said you're
in therapy. Definitely that they like doing that, they like
acting like. I've met so many rich kids.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I would I would say.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
The only person I know in my life that is
a black sheet that really got her own is Liz Goldwin.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Yes, I love her, Liz. She really is like for it,
like when we talked.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
When I look at pictures of her from the past,
I'm like, wow, Now I really believe rich kids grow
up and they just want to be rejective of that
because they're like, oh, well, it's not cool, it's not
he nepotism.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Black nepotism is great.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
But why it's that there?
Speaker 5 (11:40):
Tap in for the full, uncut and way naster episodes
over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot com, backslash Horrible
Decisions and unlock all the messy t wild stories and
bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's
you've got decisions.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
If you would like to have us?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And are your questions if you have a terrible job,
a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throufle guess what.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You've got decisions, You've got decision.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Hey, everybody, welcome back another hump day. Another problem in
our lives.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
In our lives is your listeners.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I guess it's got to pretty much be a problem
if you hit us up. But also we'll take some
other questions. Give us some co worker shit, some family
drama shit. I feel like it's always the romance in love.
We know other stuff.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Listen.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
It's because these folks be just waiting for a man, honey,
or they be with a man too long and they
know there it's time to go. Speaking of that, y'all
can read about that in our book Note Holds Barred,
a dual manifesto of sexual exploration.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
And power out now for you pus sass host.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
But yeah, I agree, I would love to hear more,
like maybe scenarios about your work life, maybe friendship. I mean,
we know that this is the sex, dating and Relationship Pod.
But god damn it, do you guys want to ask
us questions about aliens? Do y'all care our thoughts on
the democracy? What about like some hypotheticals like give us
(13:15):
something cute and fun, because goddamn, your relationships are depressing
the guys.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
That secretly listen, I would actually like them to be
hitting us up for advice because what I realized over
the years as two women hosting a show, men don't
really want to.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Say out loud they listening to decisions decisions. So if
you are listening, does use let alias say don't read
my name, in which we don't. We don't even read
you bitch's names on you.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
It's only if you're writy. I like when y'all do
little adjectives like single and confused.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
That's the shit I meant to.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
Well, please send us your questions where you need advice,
and you can send that to Decisions Pod at gmail
dot com. This one is interesting because the subject of
(14:10):
this email, bitch.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
You asking us, Why don't you just ask your nigga? Now?
Speaker 5 (14:16):
The question for today is, oh, no, is my boyfriend gay?
Speaker 4 (14:25):
It's because you live in Atlanta? Bitch.
Speaker 5 (14:27):
All right, let's get into it. Girl gays live outside
of Atlanta. But here we go. Now, this one's a
little long, so bear with me. But that means that
there's a lot of details for us to dissect. So
let's get into it.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Hi, Mandy and Wheezy.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
I recently got into a relationship and I'm wondering if
my boyfriend is gay. In January of twenty twenty five,
we matched on a dating app and quickly set up
a coffee day. I met him for coffee during my
lunch break from work and we hit it off. He
actually lived in another state and was in town for work.
(15:04):
After coffee, he asked if I would be open to
joining him for dinner that night, and I gladly said.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Dinner was great right out the gate.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Dinner was great, but he had to go back home
the next day, so we weren't able to spend much
more time together. After we went back home, we talked
via text and voiced chat every day. We had a
couple of calls over the phone, but he said he
wasn't much of a phone talker. I didn't mind since
the communication was so consistent. He came out to visit
(15:38):
for Valentine's Day and mentioned that he also had an interview.
I got him a small gift, but he didn't get
me anything. He felt bad and got me something from
a store we stopped at for Valentine's Day. We went
to dinner and hit a couple of bars, and he
asked for us to be exclusively in our relationship. I said, yes,
that's funny, that's how that's the time. I'm fraid I
(16:00):
got in my relationship this year. Well, you mean Valentine's
Valentine's Yeah, well the week before because I was going
to All Star Weekend. Anyways, Shortly after him going back
home from his visit, he tells me he landed the
job and he will be moving to my town the
following month.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
In March.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
I was excited for the potential of this new relationship.
I was skeptical that this happened so quickly, but tried
to keep a positive outlook. He mentioned that back home
he had a roommate, which was a friend from college
that needed to get back on his feet because he
was an immigrant and a visa expired. At the end
of March, my boyfriend moved out here and got an
(16:38):
airbnb until he was able to get an apartment two
weeks later. I came to the apartment once and never
again because he said he didn't have any furniture. As
we continued to see each other, I started noticing that
he found men attractive by some of the comments he
made and one incident where he was clearly flirting with
a man and asked for his Instagram right in front
(17:00):
of me. I tried to ask him about his sexuality
and that topic was uncomfortable for him. He came from
a very religious family, so I figured that is where
the discomfort was and thought he might be bisexual, but
not ready to speak about it. Regardless, flirting with another
person in front of me is disrespectful and it didn't
sit with me well. We continue to spend every day
(17:22):
together until he went back home to get his belongings
to move to his new apartment. That's when everything changed.
His roommate from back home came to move with him
into his one bedroom apartment, which I wasn't initially made
aware of. I came over once to meet the guy,
(17:44):
and it wasn't clear that he knew I was the girlfriend.
He was showing me their plans and asking him that
I show him around town. I found this strange. I
asked my boyfriend, if he knew his friend was moving
with him, why not get a two bedroom instead of
one bedroom?
Speaker 4 (18:01):
He said, he isn't supposed to stay here very long.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
I then asked how long he had been living with
him back home, and he replied nine years. All of
the alarms started going off in my body, and I
thought to myself, this is his boyfriend and I am
his beard. Ever since his boyfriend moved into town, we
have started seeing each other less and less the times
(18:25):
we do spend together. I paid more attention to him
and noticed that he only checks out met I should
have known better, because the intimacy EH wasn't there. He
didn't like the tongue kiss, it would only give me pecks.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
And we've only had sex two times.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Both of those times, he couldn't keep it up, and
at one point started talking about the gay guy we
previously met, whom he was farighting with. I was like, OMG,
he is fantasizing about other men to try to be
aroused enough to have sex with me. I'd like to
hear your thoughts on whether or not you think he
is gay, or whether or not his friend is actually
(19:03):
his gay life partner.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
And should I break up with him? Thanks so much?
Love y'all. A beard for the.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
Boy singles in, confused, Well, she's in a relationship and confused.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
But here's the thing. Sometimes, when.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
When I get and this is advice for anyone, this
is actually unsolicited advice. Sometimes when I think the worst
even about somebody, and it could be someone I know,
is the worst of a situation that I'm like, this is.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
A fuck nik, this is a person I've been burned
by before. I still am like, well, why would they
want to do this?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Why would he want to have his boyfriend fake the relationship?
Speaker 4 (19:48):
Why would he want to get now does he need
the beard?
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Like, if he's been living with this person so long,
why would he be putting them in on this plan
to coerce you?
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Like, I don't think it's a coersion.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
She mentioned, and that he comes from a strong religious background,
so she feels like that's where his discomfort lies.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
It's also interesting to.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Me that this is your boyfriend you are writing this.
By the way, this is brand new. We just got
this email at the end of September. So girl, you
started dating him back in February. You met him in January,
and you've only had sex twice. So to me, here's
my question.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
If you're.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Not bothered enough to already break up with him, are
you fine actually being a beard?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Are you fine being with a man that you find bisexual?
Speaker 5 (20:36):
You even said at the top of this letter you
actually thought he was bisexual, and you still chose to
stay with him. Yes, flirting with other people, whether it's
a man or woman in front of you, you find disrespectful,
but you didn't seem turned off or completely disattracted to
him or unattracted to him. With the fact that he
(20:58):
was even flirting with a guy, I would have you
actually asked the questions to yourself. This isn't for me
to determine whether that man is his boyfriend or whether
your boyfriend is gay. The question is are you fine
with existing as a quote unquote beard to a man
who may also have attractions and a potential relationship with
(21:18):
a man. Because to know that you're still with him
makes me feel like you're not that bothered by it.
So maybe this is your chance to actually have the conversation,
not questioning his relationship. But if you need more, I'm
assuming also you don't need more sex. However, he's showing
up has been enough, So I'm curious to know if
maybe you just have to sit with yourself to know
(21:39):
what's being left out for you, because it's not his
sexuality that seems to be the problem at all.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
So I'm starting to think maybe he's just like taking
a gay out of it. What if he isn't gay,
what if he's asexual, Because sometimes people that are asexual
genuinely do have the attraction to you. They want the intimacy,
they're able to perform and from antic scenarios so they
can show up for you how you need in life.
They can do all these things, but they're not necessarily
(22:06):
going to want to fuck you. And Ah, a sexual
friend before that always had women think that he was gay,
and it was like super frustrating, to the point where
even he was like, I really don't like men, but
like the pressure that everyone's making you feel when you
don't want to be.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
Sexual is really heavy.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
So I actually think the larger question is the sexual aspect.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
I agree.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
I was about to say, damn, y'all know I would
date about sexual man, but so I was about to
say damn, what's worth your man being gay, your man
not wanting to have sex, And I'm like, whoa, I
definitely want you to fuck me. So I think I
agree with you, bro like because to.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Me that even a gay nigga that's gonna end up
with you're gonna fuck like like it's just only twice
from February to September.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
It's just so.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Then maybe the question is if you move to a
conversation for him to admit that maybe he's bisexual or
he has any sort of attraction to men, right. I
think to find out his level of sexual energy or
appetite comes from maybe seeing if he's actually had sex
(23:09):
with men, and if so, hopefully getting to the point
where he can express how often he has sex with men,
because in this point.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
He wasn't that excited, Like maybe he wasn't flirting with
the gay dude.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Maybe she's just so, what's the word?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Uh? When you're like, she's looking for something, Damn, I
can't get this word.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
She's looking for something like damn.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I feel like it's such a basic word. I'm gonna
probably get it later tonight.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
When you're so, oh my god, girl, and you know, bitch,
I can't help you with the words.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Okay, wait, hold on, it's the word when like you're
looking around suspicious. Oh okay, okay, I thay, she's so
suspicious about what the fuck is going on that maybe
he wasn't flirting with the gay nigga.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Maybe he just friendly ass nig like.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
I don't know, because could be like, if you really
are suspicious about something, let's just say it's even a
cheating guy, you're gonna start looking at every woman in
his life, the girl he works with, a cousin. You
wna look at everybody because you're vicious. So at this point,
because you can't figure out why you're not having the
volume of sex that you want, now you're looking at
(24:20):
these other area in its life that may be completely innocent.
We're just labeling the gay on there. Do you live
in Atlanta's sister, Yeah, gay is a lot.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
I mean well, I even don't even think where she
lives matters because he moved. He moved to the city,
so he was living he was living somewhere else. I'm
curious to know to I'm not gonna lie. I just
don't think if only a couple, if only a couple
months later, first off, he moves to another city and
(24:52):
gets a one bedroom and has a guy move into
the one bedroom. I think that's a lot like nigger
are y'all sleeping together at night?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Like I don't know one of my Okay, I gold
you with her fucking cousin for like a year.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
That's family.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
A cousin is different than two people sleeping in the
sharing a room.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Together because they had a two bedroom before.
Speaker 5 (25:17):
And so maybe they maybe the city that they moved
to is more expensive and he could only get a
one bed.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
Bro, why did that need to move? That is kind
of crazy. That's crazy, is it not? But I just
don't think it's his boyfriend. Why don't you think that
their boyfriends? Do you just not think?
Speaker 5 (25:33):
Like, what makes based on all the information we got,
what makes you think that's not his boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Because this lead into a boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
To me, we're in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
Okay, one can be religious and one can be out.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
But it's pretty crazy to think that two people are
gonna be lying about the relationship.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Well, so they're not lying, so no.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
She expressed that when she went to the house, he
seemed the roommate guy seemed oblivious to the fact that
he even had a girlfriend and called the plants in
the house their plants.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
So it's not that the roommate could be hiding at all.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
It seems to be oblivious about the girlfriend is even bad.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
I don't think that's bad, Like they've been living together
nine years. Of course they're their plants.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
But if there was, if it was his nigga, she
would have been able to see something else.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Like what if she was over the house. If it's
two niggas in the closet.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
This is hard because even though all roads lead to
gay and dick sucking, I'm just like, it can't.
Speaker 5 (26:39):
Be that, but all roads literally lead to that's his boyfriend.
Yomana's gay insists you need to I'm not even gonna
tell you to break up with him. Well, that's the thing.
I'm not even gonna tell you to break up with him.
That's why my advice was to that last question, what
do you want out of the relationship in are you
being fulfilled? And if this is a relationship that you
(26:59):
do want to keep intact, but you need more sex,
you know, the conversation always is to me, talk to
him about getting some other dick or whatever.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Else you want elsewhere? And see what his response is
to that.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Because if this all happened in like March April, bitsch,
just October, we in Q four hoe and you still
with demand. You didn't even want a hot girl summer,
you stayed with him thinking he was gay all summer.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Maybe it's really not a real relationship.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
And hear me out, oh, because bitches do be delusional
if it happened that fast, like did they even talk
every day?
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Like I have you got it?
Speaker 5 (27:39):
They met okay, they met on a they met on
a dating app in January, met in person in January,
met for coffee, then had dinner the same night. Limited communication,
and I see limited because even if it was consistent,
I don't consider texting away you would get to know somebody.
(27:59):
His next visit was Valentine's Day. So even if y'all
met on New Year's Eve, the most y'all knew each
other was six weeks before he said, be my girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
That's not crazy, though, he just I just think they
just changed. I don't know how they are, but I'm
gonna be realal with you. I've met a lot okay,
and men that be in relationships, But like.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
But if a man.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
If a man asks you to be his girlfriend and
to be exclusive, that actually does indicate that you're in
a relationship with that man, right saying.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
It's not a relationship in the way that we think
a relationship should be the way that most people are
in relationships. Is they're gearing to date for the long haul,
for XYZ whatever. I feel like both of them aren't
taking this shit serious, like to be having sex twice
and not communicating about it. How real is your relationship, nigga?
(28:52):
You can't get an attitude twice before I bring it up?
Speaker 5 (28:54):
What? Maybe they both a sexual? Because I don't see
how do you? I don't see how well you've allowed
two times in ten months for how how many times
you done got your back blown out?
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Sis?
Speaker 3 (29:07):
It's just off, That's what I'm saying. They both just
feeling off.
Speaker 5 (29:10):
Bitch Mabe and I think that she wants to be
an asexual beard.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
I think she's fine with being a beard. I just
think she.
Speaker 5 (29:17):
Needs to be proud in bear. She literally signed the
email a beard to a boy.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
I still think he a sexual. I don't know why.
It's just the twice don't make sense.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Like think about when you've like had interactions with bi
and man fucked about it.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
They they are them niggas.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Fuck, That's what I'm saying, Like, bro, I got by
niggas be all my dick.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
They're almost an unhealthy amount of sexual bisexual men arc
like well shit, bisexual women maybe too.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
That's why we so God damn hoo. We've been inside
of you once. Why wouldn't he want to be eating
you again? Also he did go again, just not again
again and again. Yeah, something's off.
Speaker 5 (30:00):
I really don't think to buy. I'm not gonna lie.
This is one of those where sis. Please let us
know how the conversation goes. I do want to know
if you can get down to the answers. Is that
his boyfriend? Have they been together for nine years? Are
they sleeping in the bed together? Is he asexual? And
(30:21):
we'll find all of this out next time on dragon
ball z. But no, seriously, please send it into us.
Decisionspot at gmail dot com. Would love, love love. I'm
gonna even respond to your email now, Bitch. We need
the tea, we need the update.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Give it to us.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Because I ain't gonna be able to leave bitch until
I find out.
Speaker 5 (30:41):
If your nigga, I need to know, I actually want
to know, and draw me your thoughts below.
Speaker 4 (30:48):
Again.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
If you are on Patreon, you get to see this
full video, so go ahead and drop your thoughts if
you're on Patreon. If not, head on over to our
social channels and let you let us know what you
think needs to happen here.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Should she break up with him or she should she
just live.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
Her best life as a beer Let us know, okay,
and we'll see y'all next week.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Bye,
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