November 3, 2020 • 49 mins
Anna and Nick talk season 5, episode 20 of Below Deck Mediterranean.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Deckheads, a production of IR Radio. Welcome to
Deckheads with your hosts Nick and Anna, broadcasting from the
bottom of the boat below below deck whoa, I'm horny,
all yak talk all the time. I'm having a party.
(00:21):
We're shoveling cold to keep this show afloat. I love cocaine.
We're off the map in international waters. I need some drama.
Me hide that cocaine. Never in my nose. Should see
you know, I'm in an open relationship below deck me deckheads. Hey, Nick,
(00:49):
Hi Anna? How are you? I'm so good? How are you?
You know what day it is? Yes, I will tell
you what day it is. It is the seventh day
since we last recorded this show. It's been seven days.
I've never felt lighter. You know. It was awful. Though
(01:09):
I saw you yesterday. You promised you would not see me.
That's right, that's bad for me. You're a liar. I
had a great time seeing you. However, you are a liar. Yeah,
Now everybody knows, um I did. There's daily daily zeitgeist yesterday,
(01:30):
but it that was a month ago. Now. Yeah, by
time you hear this, you'll be like, what's their daily side? Guys?
Because it's been canceled, but it's oh my god, I
have some plans. Just really makes to me nervous. Nick
did Daily Side guys go back and listen to that
episode a month ago. It would be very topical news
from a month ago. At that point, we were laughing
(01:51):
about Amy Coney Barrett getting in the Supreme Court. Now
we we have no idea that now she of course
is the only member of the Supreme Court. Also, I'm
pretty sure this drops on election day, so this is
probably this episode is gonna be like Laddie that forever that.
(02:14):
It's like people could possibly be like, oh man, I
love that we're so confident about Biden because it allowed
me to vote for Bernie. I'm not confident about it.
I mean, like this can go either way. We can
all be like, oh, thank the Lord. Or tonight when
you guys hear this people, I mean I doubt there
will be um, there won't be like any more media. No.
(02:41):
I mean like, I don't know if we'll have an
answer tonight. Oh of course, well well we will. I
think we will. You know why I think we will
because they don't need everything counted. It just needs to
be overwhelming and it will be like, I understand that
Trump will wait till every last ballot is counted, and
that's fine, whatever he needs to do. But but we
(03:04):
will know on the night that he is um that
Biden has one and he's going to win by such
an overwhelming majority. Oh my god, close, it will be close.
I don't believe in superstition, you know, no, superstition is
(03:25):
only only works if I can't believe. For you to
text and be like, can you cut all that out?
There's no reason to one overwhelmingly I hope. So four
hundred or five, five hundred electoral votes for Biden, I hope.
So are you making Oh? No, Nick? Is this a classic?
(03:46):
Nick is doing bets on the side. No, I'm just
saying I'm not betting on politics anymore. It's too I mean,
come on, you can't bet on politics, You'll lose everything.
I only bet on sports, and mostly baseball, and I
would love to talk to you about the turnstile method
whenever you have to. No. No, So, I was gonna
say it's exciting because it's finale day. Sure, yeah, finale.
(04:14):
Oh yes. The everyone's least favorite episode of Below Deck,
the episode where it all comes to a sputtering halt
finale day. Honestly, I felt like last week was the finale,
and now this one it's like, uh, we gotta we
(04:34):
gotta see everything we know is going to play out
play out. Everybody who's in some weird fucking non relationship
is going to have to go through the motions that
everybody always goes through. Let's just get into it, because
I want to talk about it so badly. Oh, unless
(04:55):
you had more ship to yap about. Okay, don't be
rude to me. I'm fat, but no, I have nothing
more to say. Now you want you can't say I'm
fab then pick up a clean X and start picking
your nuse. Not picking my nose. I'm just clean all
the guy in yuck in it. Oh, because when I'm cleaning,
(05:17):
when I picked my nose, I'm not cleaning all the
yuck in it. What I'm doing is stabbing my nose
so it bleeds and I can go home early. That's
a great memory of old times when we were allowed
to bleed be places that we could leave early. Yeah,
I gotta remember needing to leave somewhere. No, you like
(05:42):
your house, Yeah, so we built our garage out Now
we've we've got a little gym out there, we got
a little table, got a podcasting studio. It's anything you need,
you know, it's a convertible space. We got a little
extra space. Now that it's not so hot, we can
go use the garage. And it's nice to have another
(06:08):
bit of land relationship. Ay, a garage at all. We
do have a garage. Yes, I got a little parking spot.
There's only four units, you know, so the garages are
all right behind our apartment and you can just walk
out there and it's quite spacious. I do love that
(06:30):
about you because we also we don't. Nobody parks in
their garage. Everybody uses their garage for storage. That was
a building thing long before we got here. Oh cool. Well,
I'd love to talk to you more about the timeline,
the history of the apartment. My landlord actually grew up
in the city. It was a house. It was cut
(06:52):
into four. No, no, we know all this. She's actually
um fallen ill recently and has been in hospital quite
a bit. Okay, well, I'm sorry to hear that. Let's
get into this show. Did you watch this live by
any chance? Hello? What's that? Oh? My god? No, No,
(07:12):
the landlord. No, Nick, well do we have to move?
Oh right, No, it's not time to think about that. Yeah. No,
of course I'll be at the viewing. Of course, we'll
host the viewing. Yes, bring the body in any time. Okay,
understand you viewing. You'll never guess. Oh did you hear
(07:37):
all that? Yes, you're on a podcast. Oh yeah, So
apparently Noboden in her family was still alive. Jesus Christ.
I'm next of kin. I'm the oldest tenant in the building. Yeah, no,
I'm not. There is one lady older than me, so
she would host the viewing technical I guess, yes, and
(07:58):
i'd go next door. But I can't go over there
because she's got cats. So she that's why it falls
on me. Why because it's an imperative that you have
to be there. Why it's next door, I can't go.
It's the social event of the season in our building. Okay,
(08:18):
we need to start this episode so I can leave here.
I tried to start this episode three minutes ago. Yeah, um, okay,
did you watch this episode live? I did not watch
this episode at all, but I'd love to hear your
take on it. Okay, so you didn't watch the after show.
Uh no, And you gotta stop saying that there's an aftershow,
(08:39):
because there isn't. An after show is watch what Happens Live.
It's not a Below Deck after show. And you can
confuse me. Last time you said this and I thought, well,
I guess there's some show that's about Below Deck Outer
Blood and what there isn't. It's just watch what Happens Live?
Tell the people you lied to me. But it has
(09:02):
the cast of the show on it, so it's technically
an after show. No, I didn't watch it. What happened?
Tell me what happened? Nothing they had I shot bugs
and Jess on it and Jess those are all the
stews from the season. Yes, Jess clearly shaded Rob. We're
(09:23):
going to see some very interesting stuff between them on
the reunion. Okay, I am, Look, I don't there's no
reason I feel so bad for Rob. God, I feel
so bad for him because he didn't realize she was
(09:44):
going to be this level of a psycho. And yes,
I'm taking that word back psycho. I mean I'm giving
it back to the bad people like me. Okay. Anyway,
she he sucks and she's dangerous and I do not
like her. And she needs mental health. Oh, Jess, Jess, Yes,
(10:09):
she needs to see doctors. Plural stat people who say
stat she needs to see them. She ruins every single night.
She has ruined every single night that they've gone out.
Every night that Rob has tried to have a good time,
she has ruined it. That is a fact. Also, Rob
(10:30):
reminds me of some people who I'm close to who
really need to break up with fucking Jess and the
fact that he leaves with her. I need to cut
people like that out of my life. Well, I just
want you to know it's okay. They do end up
breaking up. But I don't think Jess. I think just
just you know, it needs like therapy to deal with
(10:50):
a lot of stuff that she went through with her
family growing up. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, but
you called her names that were unnecessary. I said, she
needs to get some mental help. Sure, there, ring Pete.
All right, let's start. Okay, guys, this is below deck
Med season five episodes with Michael Phelps. She needs to
talk to Michael Phelps. Yeah, well, Michael Phelps still is
(11:12):
struggling from smoking weed at one time. Right, It's not
what you said the other day that's what every No,
I didn't say that, That's what Miles said. And you
think everything I say is Miles said in the opposite Well, um, yeah.
So Season five Mediterranean Episode twenty the official finale of
(11:35):
season five. So we continue with Robin Jess fighting, and
Rob telling David David. Remember the ghost David that works
on the David. Yeah, he tells David, Hey, David, I
think I'm going to go on the Crossing with you.
And David's like, okay, are you sure about that, dude,
(11:58):
because like I know, You're balls are going to be
ripped off, right, So it's like, I'll join you on
the Crossing this season because he says it will be
a great opportunity for him to see if yachting is
something he wants to do and if it would give
him and Jess some also. He says it would give
him in jest, some space because right now they are
not doing well and they can't stop fighting and Jess
(12:18):
has a knife up to his throat. Look, he got
his balls jiggled for a few weeks. It was a
dope relas time to throw the deuces and jet ski
on your feet. Skis, bro, you fucking strike that match
stick and get to step it. Daddy, long legs gots
(12:40):
to crawl, you know, you know, hop on them, getaway
sticks and out of town. Him? Hi, Rob, how have
you been? I've been good? Thank you for asking. Finally,
(13:00):
I just sorry I lost all respect for you this episode.
But why because you left with Jess You fucking simp Okay,
but what do you call a fake noodle? Oh? Don't
try to distract me with jokes right now, Rob, a
fake noodle? I don't know a foodle an impasta. That's
(13:22):
pretty good, thank you, Nick. That's that's huge for me
that you just said that. Now, can you hold on
one second? Pet Boys is calling about my car? Rob?
Is this you? I feel like pet Boys letting me
know that my car is ready? You know Howard is sometimes?
(13:44):
Did you have did a cave the ceiling cave in? No?
It was an oil check? And did they find oil?
Did they strike? Did you strike it rich? No? Unfortunately
there was no oil. Okay, I have another question for you, Nick, Okay,
what if that was what at all? Old check? Bu was? Yeah? Well,
well you looked at her in a says skirting oil.
(14:05):
You're a billionaire. But no, it's never that. It's always
just like, all right, give me tw uh okay, Rob? Yes?
Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? Should
I have my whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? No? No,
(14:27):
you should just stick with turkey. M hmm. Okay, I
should go now, al right, Rob, Okay, Well, this is
the last time I'll ever see you. That's not true.
There's two episodes of the Reunion anyway, bye, Bud. No
you won't. I will not watch the reunions. No, my
(14:48):
storyline continues. I don't think it does. No, I promise
you not. The way I watched the show, I fast
forwarder you like your Peter? Oh? Okay, bye bye bye Rob.
All right, well, so Bucks, I hate to get so
mean to Rob. Yeah, you're very dismissible. Yeah, I'm sorry.
(15:10):
I just had to get his car at pet Boys. Like,
why do you think so mean? Buddy? He's a simp.
He's a simp. He's a horny male. That's he's a simp. Okay.
So Buck says she's very proud of her interior team
and that they've come a long way. And she thinks
(15:30):
though that there's an expiration on yachting and she will
eventually settle down. But right now she's like Peter Pan
in a girl's body, and she isn't ready to settle
down yet. She just wants to wear all the accessories
known to mankind. Uh yeah, geez, man, do you think
she's gonna get out of here and open up the Claire's?
(15:54):
I mean, if we're lucky, there's a chance she already
owns a Claire franchise where all her like, you know,
Claire's franchise? What did I say, Claire? Okay, I think
we're going to survive that little mishap. I quit, Thank god.
Hold on, I'm getting a call. What's that? Oh yeah,
(16:17):
my contract forever? Oh right? No, yes, you remind me
every week when I try to quit. Okay, bye, Mr iHeart?
Where were we? Mr? iHeart? Yeah, reminded me of my contract.
I had to do this forever. Yeah. The only way
(16:39):
out of it. You owe us money? Yeah, I don't
know how. I really should have gotten a lawyer to
look at that contract. Yeah, I'm in debt to I
Heart Radio for over thirty five million dollars. It's your problem, dog,
so um, I suggest you cannot wait to go home
and leave yachting and forge her own future. She is
(17:02):
ready to dump these losers for sure. And Tom says
he's never had so much stress that like he's had
in the two weeks working in a galley on this
fucking boat. While Tom, that's what it's like. This is
below deck. This isn't no classy joint. Okay, Wow, Well
(17:27):
what I've never heard you speak this way? Well, it
ain't no classy joint. And it ain't no classic joint,
no classic joint spirit a classed joint. And this ain't
one of those classic joint. Center ain't no classic joint.
(17:48):
It's true. Think that's my best song? What do you
think that's the best song I've ever sung on here? No,
you've sang better usually when it comes to standards. So
they're attempting to shock the boat for the final time. Uh,
and there's some god get ready to drink, y'all. Yeah.
(18:08):
So there's a ground line in the way, and of
course Captain Sandy is so worried. She's so worried. She says,
if I hit that ground line, I could fun a
different career is over. I have to I have to
go back to being straight. Yeah. If I hit that
ground line. Yeah, background line did. Why were there so
many ground lines off that boat? That's crazy and they
(18:29):
were like really far out. But I mean I certainly
wouldn't have noticed it. She hadn't yapped about it for
twenty five minutes and two commercial breaks. I agree, Yeah,
I don't know why. But guess what, nothing happens. You
know what that means fake drama. So chug got chug
pop to it, ladies, nothing happened? What a life to live?
(18:55):
Malia says she hopes to be an inspiration because she's
a female Boston and she wants to inspire other women
who think they can't typically do male jobs like being
a bosun or being a narc because she did it.
She's a woman. Yeah, the passport in the shot. Ladies
(19:16):
who are like, I don't know if I can be
a narc. It's such a male dominated industry. Wow, do
we have news for you? Malia did it? No big
deal and you can do. Hey, guys, throw your fellow
women under the bus. You don't need them. La la
la la. I think I just lost my mind there.
(19:41):
She's a real limbed trip. I don't know that reference.
What the fuck? That's the woman who secretly taped Monica
Lewinsky talk about what the president had done. Are you serious?
I didn't even know that was a part of it.
All I remember is the seat or the cigar and
(20:01):
the pussy. That's all I know. You're too young. Well yes,
you're right. So anyway, the guests leave and they're like,
oh my god, thank you so much. By Hannah the
main Primary literally jumps off a but like she goes
boat to boat and boat and just park course out
of there, just fucking hops boat to boat, just park
(20:23):
course style. There's a cement block somewhere she jumped on.
You know she had gotten those lessons from Hannah. Yeah, yeah,
Well her name is Hannah, the main Primary. Oh I
thought you were talking about Malia. That's why I said Hannah,
because I knew the main primaries name. So it's the
(20:44):
final tip meeting, chitching, chitching, chitching Baby. Captain Sandy gives
a long emotional speech about wanting to have ended with
the same crew she started with, but life isn't perfect,
but things are better in the end. She would not
trade the is crew for anything. Blah blah blah blah blah,
sequence on everything. Have you done so much sequence. She
(21:06):
has on everything. She loves sequence. It's such a like, guess,
Florida aesthetic is to have like an anchor made out
of sequence. Hey, fuck you, my parents live in Florida. Well,
how much sequence does your mom own covered? I don't
even think would clothes have cloth anymore? They're just sequence.
(21:27):
They're very scratchy. She has a sequin brah Okay, she
wears it as a T shirt. Those gems gems are
those the gems on the T shirts? R rhinestones. There
you go a lot of rhinestones. Shine. They love rhinestones
(21:50):
as well. In Florida. Apparently everything you know you wanna
you want either anchor made out of rhinestones or sequence.
Whatever floats your boat. That's what we call a Florida esthetic.
Nobody's ever gotten Florida better than you. Thank you, thank you.
So yeah. We learned that they got a twenty k tip,
(22:14):
big money. And we learned the season total. They got
US hundred five hundred dollars and every person got four two.
That's money. Who cares? Okay, well, what have I just said? That?
(22:35):
For everything? You can be frustrated. I wouldn't say that
you don't. Who cares? But then I usually say something
that I want to talk about. This partnership is going great.
So that's lovely. Everything's lovely about me. More your lovely
guy who cares about me. This is the only kind
(22:56):
of partnership you'll allow. All right, let's take a quick break.
We're right back, don't how so many we gotta go?
So m h and we're back. So at the end
of the tip meeting, Captain Sandy gives all the crew
(23:18):
different certificates like they're most likely twos, but then she
basically rated them all on the boof Beaufort Bufort scale
Beaufort scale, And apparently, the Beaufort scale is an empirical
measure that relates wind speed wind speed to observed conditions
at sea or on land. It is the full name.
(23:40):
Its full name is the Bufort Wind Force Scale. And
I'm sorry if that was going to be your boat fact,
but I was curious what it was. So Nick, this
is how I would rate you on the Baufort scale. Me. Yeah,
I think I'm more of a rob types, so I
would guess I'm about a zero. No, okay, I guess
(24:05):
I'm mara at com type. I guess I'm a ten. No,
I would give you a between a what's the most
insulting number? Is that what you're trying to figure out?
Right now? I'm gonna say what's the worst. I'm gonna
give you a seventy two. No, I'm gonna give you
an eleven and eleven. Because it's a violent storm. That's
(24:29):
one more than tom and it's exceptionally high waves. Small
and medium size ships might be for a time lost
to view. Behind the wave, the surface is covered with
long white patches of foam lying along the directions of
the rain. Everywhere the edges of the wave crests are
being blown into froth. Visits expected, right right, everyone got,
(24:53):
everyone gets caught up? That's you? And what was the
good part? Um? I think you're just you know, violent?
And what are you? I'm a I'm a a three
A gentle breeze. Wow, you're a jess. That's a jess?
(25:16):
Was a three or a five? A fresh breeze? Like
a nice How can I say? You're a monster? What
number is monster? What you got like a lockness? Monster?
You're an eleven, You're you're a violent storm. I could
(25:39):
have given you a twelve. You could have been a
Hurricane bitch. Okay, Well, anyway, Jess gets really emotional and
thanks Captain Sandy for saying nice things about her, because
she says, her whole life, she's been told she's basically
stupid and shitty and she has issues from her childhood
where she really struggled to please her mother. So we're
(25:59):
gonna see a lot to that manifesto a little bit.
But yeah, everyone's flipping the boat for the end of
the season, and Rob says he doesn't know where he
stands with Jess right now. Well, here he goes, I
don't know where I stand with just right now, and
then Malie is like, have you guys had one fun
night out where you didn't end up in a fight,
And he's like, no, I guess note and of course,
(26:22):
of course, of course, of course, of course, of course. Yes.
Everyone's getting ready to go out, and of course tension
starts to brew between Jess and Rob. Can I tell
you something real quick? I just watched Hostile? And uh,
you know the guy? Have you seen Hostile? No? I
don't watch scary movies. Well, it's easily two American backpackers
(26:43):
and they meet up with this European guy and he's
like older, and they start traveling with him. Anyway, he
says of course, my horse, like four or five times,
and it is so jarring every time he says it.
I just can't I am take it out of the movie.
I'm just like, where did this phrase go? Why would
this guy? How could that be? What you say? Over
(27:05):
and over anyway? Of course, my horse, my horse. I
think I might start saying that, I know you will,
just to spite you. I just like it, but you
should have to like it only because I said that.
I don't like it. No, I just think it's funny,
of course, But you're like, let me think what I
know about this? It rhymes. I love that it makes
(27:28):
Nick furious. I really love that. You're right, I do
love that it rhymes. Yeah, of course, my horse. Of course.
I like that you kind of say it with like
an affliction in the voice, like, of course my horse. Yeah.
Well that's how he says it. He's got a little accent.
Of course, my horse. Why would you tell me? And
if you don't want me to love my horse, of course,
(27:50):
Oh my god, I love what you're doing. A horse
got a divorce? What if Robert Morris got a horse,
and then they got a divorce. Sure, okay, well the
horse ohoh probably dead? Oh my god. Now if the
baby horse miniature horse got on a big horse, so
(28:14):
um baby of course horse, my horse. Most tension starts
the brow between Rob and Jess before they're getting going out,
like they're getting ready, and Rob's like, we just want
to have fun tonight. I'm going to get pissed. We're
going to We're just going to let go and have fun.
I'm going to be rowdy, and Jess takes that as
(28:37):
him saying he doesn't want to be with her. She says,
so she is like, okay, then we can be single tonight,
and Rob's like, what wait, wait, that's not what I
had in mind, says, this just affirms my choice to
go on the crossing and not to bolly with Jess.
This just in to travel looks unlikely. Mm hmm. My horse,
(29:02):
my horse, of course, my horse. So everyone goes out
to work with the ghost. So everyone goes out to
dinner with Captain Sandy. Yo, when is Captain Sandy gonna
throw it down? What do you mean? And just fucking
she and Malie are going to make it a fish God.
Well Captain Sandy tells Tom. She's like, oh, it was
(29:23):
such a gift having you, okay, And then Tom says, well,
I hope I didn't come off his rude. That was
my intention. She yelled at you, captain literally yelled at you, dude, yes,
and never yelled at anyone yelled at them back, and
he says, that's what he says, says, I hope I
didn't come off his route. That was never my intention. Bitch.
(29:44):
You were stopping around this yacht like the world owed you.
I don't think he was rude. I just think he
was a little piece of ship. Yeah, well that comes
off his route to some people, not me. I like that.
That was not his intention to be a monster apparently,
(30:06):
So suck everybody. Captain Sandy says. Yacht chefs are the
best chefs in the world because they really have to
adapt and work on their feet and just like do it.
And I'm like, oh my god. Then Tom sucks because
he can't adapt. He freaks out. So at dinner, a
flamenco dancer comes in performs for everyone, like for the restaurant,
(30:26):
and of course Bugs is like, well, I need to
go perform with the flamenco dancers. So she goes and
dances with them in her wedges, so poorly wedges. Baby,
this is what I don't understand. You know, sometimes they'll have,
you know, authentico performers come on the boat, and then
you know, only the worst people will be like, I
(30:47):
want to join you. I'm gonna dance, and you're like, lord,
this fucking fat, drunk cigar face is gonna come stomp
on my feet. And then they get off off the
boat and they do the same thing to other people. Yeah,
that's the thing. As soon as bugs does it, Alex
(31:08):
and Asha and a few other people join as well,
and it's just a small little dance floor. And then
all the performers are I guess like they're like, I
guess we're done. I guess we'll go home for the night.
They got it, Yeah, because yeah, the crew decided they
also flamenco dance. Um everything I did not see. Okay,
(31:29):
everyone goes and then Jess just sits there at the
table and just steams. Oh steam, bitch, steam back on
the boat. Take a steam boat. Get the funk outta here.
Everyone's trying to have a good time, even Capty Sandy
trying to throw that. I am right, yeah, so annoying anyway,
(31:50):
I hate Jess. Captain Sandy leaves after dinner and they
all head to the clerk, but in the elevator someone
farts really badly and it's like, so ram Sid and
it turns out it was bugs. No, it was Malia
and she said that does anyone ever an extra underwear?
And I was like, what you ship yourself? Gross? And
(32:13):
Tom's like, yeah me romance. She let out a tutor
if you know what on neuter anyway? Um, sorry, I'm
so sorry you have to experience that with me. At
the clerb, Jess and Rob are back at it, and
(32:34):
she says that you know, they're fighting again, and she's like,
you're like my mom, because no matter what I do,
you'll never be happy. You'll always find fault in it.
And Rob's like, I won't go to BALI then, and
she says we have been looking for a reason to
get out or to not go anything, and then she
stalks off, and then Rob does the thing where he
just closes his eyes and leans his head back while
(32:57):
everyone around him is like, what just happened? Why did
she kock off? What's going on? And then it appears
Jess goes into a mystery door. It looks like a bookcase,
but it's a door that leads into another room. Did
you see that? Yeah, it was really funny. All I
could think about was what if someone had just started
(33:18):
watching the episode, like just turned it on there, and
it just looks like bugs is trying to talk to
the books. It's weird, it's silly. Then out of nowhere,
the charter guests, all the moms from the most recent charter,
the last charter, are all at the club that they're at,
so they all start hanging out and Rob is talking
(33:40):
to Hannah, the Parker mom, and Jess, of course is
of course, my horse is not happy, of course, and
Rob's being like, you have a you have a beautiful soul,
and she's like, you have a beautiful soul. And Rob's like,
I admire a strong woman. And Hannah's like, I am
a strong woman. And he's like, I feel like I
know how to speak to women on an authentic level.
(34:02):
And it's like, what are you doing right now? Rob,
Like what are you talking about? And She's like, yeah, totally,
you are very authentically speaking to me. I don't even
know what's going on. Well, Jess is just daggers. Yeah,
but like, what is Rob talking about? Like, I know
how I think I can speak to women on authentic level?
(34:23):
What does that mean? Here's what he's thinking. I'm drunk.
I'm gonna plow this. That's it. That's all he's thinking.
Even good guys want to plow. Mm that's the name
of my memoir. Even good guys were the plow. Wow.
(34:44):
That's so beautiful. That's what rodding home this caw Wow,
that's gorgeous. Yeah. So Rob continues to talk to Hannah
and they walk they're like holding hands and they walk
by Jess and Jess literally throws her cigarette at them
(35:06):
and that's a rough move. Didn't hit her, no, but
still dangerous to throw your cigarette at someone. I don't know.
That's that's messy bit ship. So anyway, back on the boat.
Outside of the boat, Rob is crying. I don't know
what is going on with these people. Like one second
he's like, I'm talking to party and the next second
(35:27):
he's like and Malie is giving him a pep talk
and she's like, I really think Jess loves you. But
it's just like really tricky right now, and he's like
and then Jess says she doesn't think he wants to
be together, so she's just going to give him the
now and he can be single. And I'm like, girl,
(35:48):
you don't mean that. You know you're breaking hearted. John's
you're sit breaking hearted? What do you think, Nick? Do
you think she's say breaking hurted? I think that this
in season is done. Dog, Well, the storyline isn't going anywhere. Well,
it's over. It's the next day, it's the final day.
(36:10):
It's departure day. Rob and Jess are still fighting in
the morning and Jess is crying and he says, I'm
doing the crossing and she's like, you're not doing the crossing,
you're just running. And he says I need some space
and she's like, you're damaging me. And he's like, you're
damaging me. She's like, now you're damaging me and you
(36:33):
broke my heart. And then Rob says, heartbreak is a gift.
That's true, it's a gift he's giving to Jess. Yeah,
that's I don't even know what to think about that.
But and then Rob says, I just want to get
off this boat. Let's just pack and go. And then
Jess cries and begs him not to do the crossing,
and then he tells us that he has two days
(36:53):
to decide if he's doing the crossing or going to
Bali with Jess. Do the crossing, do the gross I
think everyone wants him to do the crossing. God, could
you imagine if you went and did the crossing? I
think life would be incredible. But now it sucks. Now
he's got to live in a van like everybody else. Yeah,
(37:18):
do you think I know? It's like, okay, So these
are two awards we could give below Deck. It's the
longest running show with no UM married couples, and it's
also the longest running show UM. What was I just
talking about? Awards? Yeah? What awards was? What was that
(37:41):
given an award out for? I don't know if all
you didn't say you said no married couples. Well, you
know what, let's take a quick break. You can think
about that will be raz Wait a minute and we're back.
It doesn't remember what he was talking about before break.
(38:04):
That was a great segue. So Alex leaves first and
he says he feels like he can now be a
lead deckhan on a bigger vessel. And then Bugs says goodbye.
I know it. Yes, below Deck their two awards one
no couples get married and be the longest running reality
(38:25):
show with the most contestants living in vans. Okay, wow,
thank you for that. Anyway, Alex leaves first and Bug
says goodbye to him, and she almost calls him her
big brother, which is weird. No, it's not, that's how
she feels about him. But she just makes out with
(38:45):
her brother. No, she just felt pressure to make out
with him. I don't know. I think she's just like
Blackout and the party. Yeah, I will say. On the
after show watch what Happens Live, she said she regrets
not hooking up with him sooner, getting things popping off sooner.
(39:07):
I don't know, as like having someone to like, you know,
hook up with on the show to like play. But
I don't know. It sounds like she likes her brother. Wow. Mhmm,
that's gross. Anyway, Rob and Jesse leave next, and it's
(39:27):
really awkward and weird, but yeah, they leave together, and
then we get a little thing, a little card that
says that Rob and Jess went to Bally together, and
then we cut to Ice show, who says, oh, fa
fax sakes, that's a terrible impression of ice show. You
should full fuck six there you go? Yeah, perfect. So
(39:50):
I guess they went to Bally and he didn't do
the crossing. I don't like him anymore. Done? All right,
see you next week, Rob, I mean Nick, it's me Rob.
What will you forgive me? No? Come on, man, no,
I'm cutting people like you out of my life. But
(40:13):
but Nick, cutting you out of my life? Nick? What? Um?
I almost told you a kind of inappropriate joke. But
now cutting you out of my life was the greatest
(40:34):
decision I ever made. What What did the penis say
to the condom cover me? I'm going in? Okay? What
kind of bees produced milk boobies? Uh huh huh huh
(40:57):
huh huh huh huh uh Nick, Nick, what happened to you? Nick?
It's me Rob. Nick, It's me Rob. Okay, I got
another one for you. Because you live in Los Angeles.
How do you say? Fuck you in Los Angeles? You say,
(41:18):
trust me? Huh huh? Okay, it looks like you have
left town. All right, Okay, I guess I'll leave. I
hope you can forgive me for leaving with Jess and
going to Barley. I you know how it is. Sometimes
(41:38):
I think I think with the wrong head. If you
know what I mean, and I mean my penis, the
bulb on my penis, I think with that. I'm sorry,
Please forgive me. The bulb has grown big. I could
not decide which was my brain and which was my
penis head, and that led me to thee with the
(42:00):
wrong one. Nick. Will you ever forgive me for not
doing the crossing? Nick? Where are you? I need you
now more than ever, Nick, I can see you hiding
from me. You're You're too big of a man to
(42:23):
hide behind that skinny, skinny tree. All right, Rob, I
guess you gotta go because Nick's not interesting talking to
you is very upset with you. Oh okay, I'll go
back to bally by Ley. On the after show, Andy
Cohen kept calling bally Bally. Okay, fine, I forgive you, Rob,
(42:45):
He's gone. What yeah, no, but I'm ready to forgive you.
Went back to bally or bally as Andy Cohen kept
pronouncing it. Maybe it is bally, yeah, just like it's Lahalla.
So oh um, I shall leaves an accent. She says
she's so happy to finally be going home and says
(43:06):
this season was so shitty that it taught her that
even she can be unhappy, which is I think saying
a lot that I should discover sadness while on this show.
Oh for sure. Yeah, and I don't never even happened
to her. She just showed up late and I ruined her.
But like the vibeh, yeah, maybe they were bad vibes.
(43:31):
She was like, this crew sucks. The vibes are bad.
I'm out of here anyway, Bugs is leaving and then
as she's leaving, a really cute baby goat shows up. Yeah,
what the fuck? I don't know. It's just like, okay,
where were they hiding this baby goat? I don't know,
but I was like, what's up, little baby goat? Who
(43:51):
probably owns a yacht? That little baby goat so rich? No? Really?
Is he like a chic? Yeah? Oh? Also I saw
your smoking the same pen that Hannah had. Yeah you
get it? Yes underlined I got it at Hannah's personal store. No, yeah,
(44:12):
she sells him. Now you asked you went in there?
You're like, was Hannah Ferrier in here? No? She she
owns the store and operates it. Oh cool, all right,
Well Malea and Tom leave next and they're like, we're
a happy couple. We're out of here, We're going on
another boat together. And I'm like, good luck, bitch, because,
as you know, they break up. She basically implies that
(44:36):
he cheated on her with Jess. No, not with Jess,
with Rob, No with Whiz No, well, yes, with wis
What if it turned out to be whiz awesome. I mean,
it'd be a great plot point. Hm, we're gonna have
to get him back on the same boat, fight it out. Yeah. Well, anyway,
(44:58):
Captain Sandy said this has been the most challenging season
she's ever experienced, but you don't grow from the good times,
and this crew really stood out to her, and she's
proud of them and grateful to have worked with them.
And that's the end of the episode. Baby, Yep, it's
time for boat facts with Nikky Tease. You know, I
(45:22):
was thinking, you know, sometimes these boat facts they're really dry,
you know, academic facts. But today I just wanted to
have a little fun. So I google what's what's the
fun boat? You know, what's what's the most fun boat?
And I'll tell you what it is. It's the laser
fun boat. It's the what laser fun boat? Laser fun boat. Yeah,
(45:47):
it's a fun boat, a fun boats, a type of boat.
It's an entry level sail boat. If you ever thought
about sailing, but you never thought about learning, you can
get a fun boat, easy to rig, easy to sail.
The fun Boat is the perfect entry level sailboat with
a combination of roominess, stability, maneuverability, and simplicity. The fun
(46:07):
boat is extremely seaworthy. Designed with a modified tunnel hull,
the fun boat has everything for someone who just wants
to have fun on the water. No center board means
no hassle when pushing off or returning to your favorite beach.
Just simply jump on, hoist the sail, and you're off. Enjoy.
That's right. They got these lasers for the guests on
sailing who wanted to have like a little relay race
(46:29):
or whatever. Oh is that right? Yeah, Memory says, go
get the lasers. Yeah, well that's pretty cool. They are
about three grand. Should we go in on one? Well,
I think I heard radio should buy this one. Oh
my god, you're right. That probably shouldn't be too hard
to ask for. Okay, good, I'll just be like, hey, Jack, O'Brien,
(46:51):
can I expense this laser I bought? And he'll be
like no, He'll be like no, d DZ just got canceled.
And I'll be like that I had nothing to do
with that. I swear I didn't sell you out. I
swear all I did nothing. Alright, Well, that's both facts.
(47:12):
That's the show. I can't thank you all enough. That's
another season in the books. Of course, We've got a
couple of reunion episodes, and then we are back on
top with a new show, and it's great, and we're
gonna guess and we're gonna expose our breasts and we'll
do nothing less breast and I will make a nest
(47:33):
stand up. Let you do the best stand all of
the rest. Okay, we're not exposing our breasts, but yes
we are wrong, guys, keep looking at We're gonna keep
dropping these. I believe we'll drop. The reunion apps will
drop tomorrow along with the first episode of season eight
of Regular Below Deck, and then after tomorrow we're weekly. Baby,
(47:58):
we're not daily no more, but I used to three
times a day. Well, sorry, but there's we watched so
much TV. I just want to thank you, alright, by Alright, guys,
that's it. Follow us a deckheads pod on Instagram and Twitter.
Email us at deckheads pod at gmail dot com. Oh
(48:19):
and you know what you can do? Recommend guests you
want us to have on who watched below deck because
we would love to have them. I'm at Anna hosting,
Nick is at Nick's Turners. Check out our merch on
t public. We have some fun stuff up there. And
uh yeah, guys, our final request just leave us a
five star review. Do you see how much fucking work
we did for you all this this year? Oh my gosh,
(48:41):
we we we could. We could enjoy one little fly
star review. All Right, We're out of here by Deckheads
is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast
from my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
(49:02):
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
H
Welcome to Deckheads, a production of IR Radio. Welcome to
Deckheads with your hosts Nick and Anna, broadcasting from the
bottom of the boat below below deck whoa, I'm horny,
all yak talk all the time. I'm having a party.
(00:21):
We're shoveling cold to keep this show afloat. I love cocaine.
We're off the map in international waters. I need some drama.
Me hide that cocaine. Never in my nose. Should see
you know, I'm in an open relationship below deck me deckheads. Hey, Nick,
(00:49):
Hi Anna? How are you? I'm so good? How are you?
You know what day it is? Yes, I will tell
you what day it is. It is the seventh day
since we last recorded this show. It's been seven days.
I've never felt lighter. You know. It was awful. Though
(01:09):
I saw you yesterday. You promised you would not see me.
That's right, that's bad for me. You're a liar. I
had a great time seeing you. However, you are a liar. Yeah,
Now everybody knows, um I did. There's daily daily zeitgeist yesterday,
(01:30):
but it that was a month ago. Now. Yeah, by
time you hear this, you'll be like, what's their daily side? Guys?
Because it's been canceled, but it's oh my god, I
have some plans. Just really makes to me nervous. Nick
did Daily Side guys go back and listen to that
episode a month ago. It would be very topical news
from a month ago. At that point, we were laughing
(01:51):
about Amy Coney Barrett getting in the Supreme Court. Now
we we have no idea that now she of course
is the only member of the Supreme Court. Also, I'm
pretty sure this drops on election day, so this is
probably this episode is gonna be like Laddie that forever that.
(02:14):
It's like people could possibly be like, oh man, I
love that we're so confident about Biden because it allowed
me to vote for Bernie. I'm not confident about it.
I mean, like this can go either way. We can
all be like, oh, thank the Lord. Or tonight when
you guys hear this people, I mean I doubt there
will be um, there won't be like any more media. No.
(02:41):
I mean like, I don't know if we'll have an
answer tonight. Oh of course, well well we will. I
think we will. You know why I think we will
because they don't need everything counted. It just needs to
be overwhelming and it will be like, I understand that
Trump will wait till every last ballot is counted, and
that's fine, whatever he needs to do. But but we
(03:04):
will know on the night that he is um that
Biden has one and he's going to win by such
an overwhelming majority. Oh my god, close, it will be close.
I don't believe in superstition, you know, no, superstition is
(03:25):
only only works if I can't believe. For you to
text and be like, can you cut all that out?
There's no reason to one overwhelmingly I hope. So four
hundred or five, five hundred electoral votes for Biden, I hope.
So are you making Oh? No, Nick? Is this a classic?
(03:46):
Nick is doing bets on the side. No, I'm just
saying I'm not betting on politics anymore. It's too I mean,
come on, you can't bet on politics, You'll lose everything.
I only bet on sports, and mostly baseball, and I
would love to talk to you about the turnstile method
whenever you have to. No. No, So, I was gonna
say it's exciting because it's finale day. Sure, yeah, finale.
(04:14):
Oh yes. The everyone's least favorite episode of Below Deck,
the episode where it all comes to a sputtering halt
finale day. Honestly, I felt like last week was the finale,
and now this one it's like, uh, we gotta we
(04:34):
gotta see everything we know is going to play out
play out. Everybody who's in some weird fucking non relationship
is going to have to go through the motions that
everybody always goes through. Let's just get into it, because
I want to talk about it so badly. Oh, unless
(04:55):
you had more ship to yap about. Okay, don't be
rude to me. I'm fat, but no, I have nothing
more to say. Now you want you can't say I'm
fab then pick up a clean X and start picking
your nuse. Not picking my nose. I'm just clean all
the guy in yuck in it. Oh, because when I'm cleaning,
(05:17):
when I picked my nose, I'm not cleaning all the
yuck in it. What I'm doing is stabbing my nose
so it bleeds and I can go home early. That's
a great memory of old times when we were allowed
to bleed be places that we could leave early. Yeah,
I gotta remember needing to leave somewhere. No, you like
(05:42):
your house, Yeah, so we built our garage out Now
we've we've got a little gym out there, we got
a little table, got a podcasting studio. It's anything you need,
you know, it's a convertible space. We got a little
extra space. Now that it's not so hot, we can
go use the garage. And it's nice to have another
(06:08):
bit of land relationship. Ay, a garage at all. We
do have a garage. Yes, I got a little parking spot.
There's only four units, you know, so the garages are
all right behind our apartment and you can just walk
out there and it's quite spacious. I do love that
(06:30):
about you because we also we don't. Nobody parks in
their garage. Everybody uses their garage for storage. That was
a building thing long before we got here. Oh cool. Well,
I'd love to talk to you more about the timeline,
the history of the apartment. My landlord actually grew up
in the city. It was a house. It was cut
(06:52):
into four. No, no, we know all this. She's actually
um fallen ill recently and has been in hospital quite
a bit. Okay, well, I'm sorry to hear that. Let's
get into this show. Did you watch this live by
any chance? Hello? What's that? Oh? My god? No, No,
(07:12):
the landlord. No, Nick, well do we have to move?
Oh right, No, it's not time to think about that. Yeah. No,
of course I'll be at the viewing. Of course, we'll
host the viewing. Yes, bring the body in any time. Okay,
understand you viewing. You'll never guess. Oh did you hear
(07:37):
all that? Yes, you're on a podcast. Oh yeah, So
apparently Noboden in her family was still alive. Jesus Christ.
I'm next of kin. I'm the oldest tenant in the building. Yeah, no,
I'm not. There is one lady older than me, so
she would host the viewing technical I guess, yes, and
(07:58):
i'd go next door. But I can't go over there
because she's got cats. So she that's why it falls
on me. Why because it's an imperative that you have
to be there. Why it's next door, I can't go.
It's the social event of the season in our building. Okay,
(08:18):
we need to start this episode so I can leave here.
I tried to start this episode three minutes ago. Yeah, um, okay,
did you watch this episode live? I did not watch
this episode at all, but I'd love to hear your
take on it. Okay, so you didn't watch the after show.
Uh no, And you gotta stop saying that there's an aftershow,
(08:39):
because there isn't. An after show is watch what Happens Live.
It's not a Below Deck after show. And you can
confuse me. Last time you said this and I thought, well,
I guess there's some show that's about Below Deck Outer
Blood and what there isn't. It's just watch what Happens Live?
Tell the people you lied to me. But it has
(09:02):
the cast of the show on it, so it's technically
an after show. No, I didn't watch it. What happened?
Tell me what happened? Nothing they had I shot bugs
and Jess on it and Jess those are all the
stews from the season. Yes, Jess clearly shaded Rob. We're
(09:23):
going to see some very interesting stuff between them on
the reunion. Okay, I am, Look, I don't there's no
reason I feel so bad for Rob. God, I feel
so bad for him because he didn't realize she was
(09:44):
going to be this level of a psycho. And yes,
I'm taking that word back psycho. I mean I'm giving
it back to the bad people like me. Okay. Anyway,
she he sucks and she's dangerous and I do not
like her. And she needs mental health. Oh, Jess, Jess, Yes,
(10:09):
she needs to see doctors. Plural stat people who say
stat she needs to see them. She ruins every single night.
She has ruined every single night that they've gone out.
Every night that Rob has tried to have a good time,
she has ruined it. That is a fact. Also, Rob
(10:30):
reminds me of some people who I'm close to who
really need to break up with fucking Jess and the
fact that he leaves with her. I need to cut
people like that out of my life. Well, I just
want you to know it's okay. They do end up
breaking up. But I don't think Jess. I think just
just you know, it needs like therapy to deal with
(10:50):
a lot of stuff that she went through with her
family growing up. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, but
you called her names that were unnecessary. I said, she
needs to get some mental help. Sure, there, ring Pete.
All right, let's start. Okay, guys, this is below deck
Med season five episodes with Michael Phelps. She needs to
talk to Michael Phelps. Yeah, well, Michael Phelps still is
(11:12):
struggling from smoking weed at one time. Right, It's not
what you said the other day that's what every No,
I didn't say that, That's what Miles said. And you
think everything I say is Miles said in the opposite Well, um, yeah.
So Season five Mediterranean Episode twenty the official finale of
(11:35):
season five. So we continue with Robin Jess fighting, and
Rob telling David David. Remember the ghost David that works
on the David. Yeah, he tells David, Hey, David, I
think I'm going to go on the Crossing with you.
And David's like, okay, are you sure about that, dude,
(11:58):
because like I know, You're balls are going to be
ripped off, right, So it's like, I'll join you on
the Crossing this season because he says it will be
a great opportunity for him to see if yachting is
something he wants to do and if it would give
him and Jess some also. He says it would give
him in jest, some space because right now they are
not doing well and they can't stop fighting and Jess
(12:18):
has a knife up to his throat. Look, he got
his balls jiggled for a few weeks. It was a
dope relas time to throw the deuces and jet ski
on your feet. Skis, bro, you fucking strike that match
stick and get to step it. Daddy, long legs gots
(12:40):
to crawl, you know, you know, hop on them, getaway
sticks and out of town. Him? Hi, Rob, how have
you been? I've been good? Thank you for asking. Finally,
(13:00):
I just sorry I lost all respect for you this episode.
But why because you left with Jess You fucking simp Okay,
but what do you call a fake noodle? Oh? Don't
try to distract me with jokes right now, Rob, a
fake noodle? I don't know a foodle an impasta. That's
(13:22):
pretty good, thank you, Nick. That's that's huge for me
that you just said that. Now, can you hold on
one second? Pet Boys is calling about my car? Rob?
Is this you? I feel like pet Boys letting me
know that my car is ready? You know Howard is sometimes?
(13:44):
Did you have did a cave the ceiling cave in? No?
It was an oil check? And did they find oil?
Did they strike? Did you strike it rich? No? Unfortunately
there was no oil. Okay, I have another question for you, Nick, Okay,
what if that was what at all? Old check? Bu was? Yeah? Well,
well you looked at her in a says skirting oil.
(14:05):
You're a billionaire. But no, it's never that. It's always
just like, all right, give me tw uh okay, Rob? Yes?
Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? Should
I have my whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? No? No,
(14:27):
you should just stick with turkey. M hmm. Okay, I
should go now, al right, Rob, Okay, Well, this is
the last time I'll ever see you. That's not true.
There's two episodes of the Reunion anyway, bye, Bud. No
you won't. I will not watch the reunions. No, my
(14:48):
storyline continues. I don't think it does. No, I promise
you not. The way I watched the show, I fast
forwarder you like your Peter? Oh? Okay, bye bye bye Rob.
All right, well, so Bucks, I hate to get so
mean to Rob. Yeah, you're very dismissible. Yeah, I'm sorry.
(15:10):
I just had to get his car at pet Boys. Like,
why do you think so mean? Buddy? He's a simp.
He's a simp. He's a horny male. That's he's a simp. Okay.
So Buck says she's very proud of her interior team
and that they've come a long way. And she thinks
(15:30):
though that there's an expiration on yachting and she will
eventually settle down. But right now she's like Peter Pan
in a girl's body, and she isn't ready to settle
down yet. She just wants to wear all the accessories
known to mankind. Uh yeah, geez, man, do you think
she's gonna get out of here and open up the Claire's?
(15:54):
I mean, if we're lucky, there's a chance she already
owns a Claire franchise where all her like, you know,
Claire's franchise? What did I say, Claire? Okay, I think
we're going to survive that little mishap. I quit, Thank god.
Hold on, I'm getting a call. What's that? Oh yeah,
(16:17):
my contract forever? Oh right? No, yes, you remind me
every week when I try to quit. Okay, bye, Mr iHeart?
Where were we? Mr? iHeart? Yeah, reminded me of my contract.
I had to do this forever. Yeah. The only way
(16:39):
out of it. You owe us money? Yeah, I don't
know how. I really should have gotten a lawyer to
look at that contract. Yeah, I'm in debt to I
Heart Radio for over thirty five million dollars. It's your problem, dog,
so um, I suggest you cannot wait to go home
and leave yachting and forge her own future. She is
(17:02):
ready to dump these losers for sure. And Tom says
he's never had so much stress that like he's had
in the two weeks working in a galley on this
fucking boat. While Tom, that's what it's like. This is
below deck. This isn't no classy joint. Okay, Wow, Well
(17:27):
what I've never heard you speak this way? Well, it
ain't no classy joint. And it ain't no classic joint,
no classic joint spirit a classed joint. And this ain't
one of those classic joint. Center ain't no classic joint.
(17:48):
It's true. Think that's my best song? What do you
think that's the best song I've ever sung on here? No,
you've sang better usually when it comes to standards. So
they're attempting to shock the boat for the final time. Uh,
and there's some god get ready to drink, y'all. Yeah.
(18:08):
So there's a ground line in the way, and of
course Captain Sandy is so worried. She's so worried. She says,
if I hit that ground line, I could fun a
different career is over. I have to I have to
go back to being straight. Yeah. If I hit that
ground line. Yeah, background line did. Why were there so
many ground lines off that boat? That's crazy and they
(18:29):
were like really far out. But I mean I certainly
wouldn't have noticed it. She hadn't yapped about it for
twenty five minutes and two commercial breaks. I agree, Yeah,
I don't know why. But guess what, nothing happens. You
know what that means fake drama. So chug got chug
pop to it, ladies, nothing happened? What a life to live?
(18:55):
Malia says she hopes to be an inspiration because she's
a female Boston and she wants to inspire other women
who think they can't typically do male jobs like being
a bosun or being a narc because she did it.
She's a woman. Yeah, the passport in the shot. Ladies
(19:16):
who are like, I don't know if I can be
a narc. It's such a male dominated industry. Wow, do
we have news for you? Malia did it? No big
deal and you can do. Hey, guys, throw your fellow
women under the bus. You don't need them. La la
la la. I think I just lost my mind there.
(19:41):
She's a real limbed trip. I don't know that reference.
What the fuck? That's the woman who secretly taped Monica
Lewinsky talk about what the president had done. Are you serious?
I didn't even know that was a part of it.
All I remember is the seat or the cigar and
(20:01):
the pussy. That's all I know. You're too young. Well yes,
you're right. So anyway, the guests leave and they're like,
oh my god, thank you so much. By Hannah the
main Primary literally jumps off a but like she goes
boat to boat and boat and just park course out
of there, just fucking hops boat to boat, just park
(20:23):
course style. There's a cement block somewhere she jumped on.
You know she had gotten those lessons from Hannah. Yeah, yeah,
Well her name is Hannah, the main Primary. Oh I
thought you were talking about Malia. That's why I said Hannah,
because I knew the main primaries name. So it's the
(20:44):
final tip meeting, chitching, chitching, chitching Baby. Captain Sandy gives
a long emotional speech about wanting to have ended with
the same crew she started with, but life isn't perfect,
but things are better in the end. She would not
trade the is crew for anything. Blah blah blah blah blah,
sequence on everything. Have you done so much sequence. She
(21:06):
has on everything. She loves sequence. It's such a like, guess,
Florida aesthetic is to have like an anchor made out
of sequence. Hey, fuck you, my parents live in Florida. Well,
how much sequence does your mom own covered? I don't
even think would clothes have cloth anymore? They're just sequence.
(21:27):
They're very scratchy. She has a sequin brah Okay, she
wears it as a T shirt. Those gems gems are
those the gems on the T shirts? R rhinestones. There
you go a lot of rhinestones. Shine. They love rhinestones
(21:50):
as well. In Florida. Apparently everything you know you wanna
you want either anchor made out of rhinestones or sequence.
Whatever floats your boat. That's what we call a Florida esthetic.
Nobody's ever gotten Florida better than you. Thank you, thank you.
So yeah. We learned that they got a twenty k tip,
(22:14):
big money. And we learned the season total. They got
US hundred five hundred dollars and every person got four two.
That's money. Who cares? Okay, well, what have I just said? That?
(22:35):
For everything? You can be frustrated. I wouldn't say that
you don't. Who cares? But then I usually say something
that I want to talk about. This partnership is going great.
So that's lovely. Everything's lovely about me. More your lovely
guy who cares about me. This is the only kind
(22:56):
of partnership you'll allow. All right, let's take a quick break.
We're right back, don't how so many we gotta go?
So m h and we're back. So at the end
of the tip meeting, Captain Sandy gives all the crew
(23:18):
different certificates like they're most likely twos, but then she
basically rated them all on the boof Beaufort Bufort scale
Beaufort scale, And apparently, the Beaufort scale is an empirical
measure that relates wind speed wind speed to observed conditions
at sea or on land. It is the full name.
(23:40):
Its full name is the Bufort Wind Force Scale. And
I'm sorry if that was going to be your boat fact,
but I was curious what it was. So Nick, this
is how I would rate you on the Baufort scale. Me. Yeah,
I think I'm more of a rob types, so I
would guess I'm about a zero. No, okay, I guess
(24:05):
I'm mara at com type. I guess I'm a ten. No,
I would give you a between a what's the most
insulting number? Is that what you're trying to figure out?
Right now? I'm gonna say what's the worst. I'm gonna
give you a seventy two. No, I'm gonna give you
an eleven and eleven. Because it's a violent storm. That's
(24:29):
one more than tom and it's exceptionally high waves. Small
and medium size ships might be for a time lost
to view. Behind the wave, the surface is covered with
long white patches of foam lying along the directions of
the rain. Everywhere the edges of the wave crests are
being blown into froth. Visits expected, right right, everyone got,
(24:53):
everyone gets caught up? That's you? And what was the
good part? Um? I think you're just you know, violent?
And what are you? I'm a I'm a a three
A gentle breeze. Wow, you're a jess. That's a jess?
(25:16):
Was a three or a five? A fresh breeze? Like
a nice How can I say? You're a monster? What
number is monster? What you got like a lockness? Monster?
You're an eleven, You're you're a violent storm. I could
(25:39):
have given you a twelve. You could have been a
Hurricane bitch. Okay, Well, anyway, Jess gets really emotional and
thanks Captain Sandy for saying nice things about her, because
she says, her whole life, she's been told she's basically
stupid and shitty and she has issues from her childhood
where she really struggled to please her mother. So we're
(25:59):
gonna see a lot to that manifesto a little bit.
But yeah, everyone's flipping the boat for the end of
the season, and Rob says he doesn't know where he
stands with Jess right now. Well, here he goes, I
don't know where I stand with just right now, and
then Malie is like, have you guys had one fun
night out where you didn't end up in a fight,
And he's like, no, I guess note and of course,
(26:22):
of course, of course, of course, of course, of course. Yes.
Everyone's getting ready to go out, and of course tension
starts to brew between Jess and Rob. Can I tell
you something real quick? I just watched Hostile? And uh,
you know the guy? Have you seen Hostile? No? I
don't watch scary movies. Well, it's easily two American backpackers
(26:43):
and they meet up with this European guy and he's
like older, and they start traveling with him. Anyway, he
says of course, my horse, like four or five times,
and it is so jarring every time he says it.
I just can't I am take it out of the movie.
I'm just like, where did this phrase go? Why would
this guy? How could that be? What you say? Over
(27:05):
and over anyway? Of course, my horse, my horse. I
think I might start saying that, I know you will,
just to spite you. I just like it, but you
should have to like it only because I said that.
I don't like it. No, I just think it's funny,
of course, But you're like, let me think what I
know about this? It rhymes. I love that it makes
(27:28):
Nick furious. I really love that. You're right, I do
love that it rhymes. Yeah, of course, my horse. Of course.
I like that you kind of say it with like
an affliction in the voice, like, of course my horse. Yeah.
Well that's how he says it. He's got a little accent.
Of course, my horse. Why would you tell me? And
if you don't want me to love my horse, of course,
(27:50):
Oh my god, I love what you're doing. A horse
got a divorce? What if Robert Morris got a horse,
and then they got a divorce. Sure, okay, well the
horse ohoh probably dead? Oh my god. Now if the
baby horse miniature horse got on a big horse, so
(28:14):
um baby of course horse, my horse. Most tension starts
the brow between Rob and Jess before they're getting going out,
like they're getting ready, and Rob's like, we just want
to have fun tonight. I'm going to get pissed. We're
going to We're just going to let go and have fun.
I'm going to be rowdy, and Jess takes that as
(28:37):
him saying he doesn't want to be with her. She says,
so she is like, okay, then we can be single tonight,
and Rob's like, what wait, wait, that's not what I
had in mind, says, this just affirms my choice to
go on the crossing and not to bolly with Jess.
This just in to travel looks unlikely. Mm hmm. My horse,
(29:02):
my horse, of course, my horse. So everyone goes out
to work with the ghost. So everyone goes out to
dinner with Captain Sandy. Yo, when is Captain Sandy gonna
throw it down? What do you mean? And just fucking
she and Malie are going to make it a fish God.
Well Captain Sandy tells Tom. She's like, oh, it was
(29:23):
such a gift having you, okay, And then Tom says, well,
I hope I didn't come off his rude. That was
my intention. She yelled at you, captain literally yelled at you, dude, yes,
and never yelled at anyone yelled at them back, and
he says, that's what he says, says, I hope I
didn't come off his route. That was never my intention. Bitch.
(29:44):
You were stopping around this yacht like the world owed you.
I don't think he was rude. I just think he
was a little piece of ship. Yeah, well that comes
off his route to some people, not me. I like that.
That was not his intention to be a monster apparently,
(30:06):
So suck everybody. Captain Sandy says. Yacht chefs are the
best chefs in the world because they really have to
adapt and work on their feet and just like do it.
And I'm like, oh my god. Then Tom sucks because
he can't adapt. He freaks out. So at dinner, a
flamenco dancer comes in performs for everyone, like for the restaurant,
(30:26):
and of course Bugs is like, well, I need to
go perform with the flamenco dancers. So she goes and
dances with them in her wedges, so poorly wedges. Baby,
this is what I don't understand. You know, sometimes they'll have,
you know, authentico performers come on the boat, and then
you know, only the worst people will be like, I
(30:47):
want to join you. I'm gonna dance, and you're like, lord,
this fucking fat, drunk cigar face is gonna come stomp
on my feet. And then they get off off the
boat and they do the same thing to other people. Yeah,
that's the thing. As soon as bugs does it, Alex
(31:08):
and Asha and a few other people join as well,
and it's just a small little dance floor. And then
all the performers are I guess like they're like, I
guess we're done. I guess we'll go home for the night.
They got it, Yeah, because yeah, the crew decided they
also flamenco dance. Um everything I did not see. Okay,
(31:29):
everyone goes and then Jess just sits there at the
table and just steams. Oh steam, bitch, steam back on
the boat. Take a steam boat. Get the funk outta here.
Everyone's trying to have a good time, even Capty Sandy
trying to throw that. I am right, yeah, so annoying anyway,
(31:50):
I hate Jess. Captain Sandy leaves after dinner and they
all head to the clerk, but in the elevator someone
farts really badly and it's like, so ram Sid and
it turns out it was bugs. No, it was Malia
and she said that does anyone ever an extra underwear?
And I was like, what you ship yourself? Gross? And
(32:13):
Tom's like, yeah me romance. She let out a tutor
if you know what on neuter anyway? Um, sorry, I'm
so sorry you have to experience that with me. At
the clerb, Jess and Rob are back at it, and
(32:34):
she says that you know, they're fighting again, and she's like,
you're like my mom, because no matter what I do,
you'll never be happy. You'll always find fault in it.
And Rob's like, I won't go to BALI then, and
she says we have been looking for a reason to
get out or to not go anything, and then she
stalks off, and then Rob does the thing where he
just closes his eyes and leans his head back while
(32:57):
everyone around him is like, what just happened? Why did
she kock off? What's going on? And then it appears
Jess goes into a mystery door. It looks like a bookcase,
but it's a door that leads into another room. Did
you see that? Yeah, it was really funny. All I
could think about was what if someone had just started
(33:18):
watching the episode, like just turned it on there, and
it just looks like bugs is trying to talk to
the books. It's weird, it's silly. Then out of nowhere,
the charter guests, all the moms from the most recent charter,
the last charter, are all at the club that they're at,
so they all start hanging out and Rob is talking
(33:40):
to Hannah, the Parker mom, and Jess, of course is
of course, my horse is not happy, of course, and
Rob's being like, you have a you have a beautiful soul,
and she's like, you have a beautiful soul. And Rob's like,
I admire a strong woman. And Hannah's like, I am
a strong woman. And he's like, I feel like I
know how to speak to women on an authentic level.
(34:02):
And it's like, what are you doing right now? Rob,
Like what are you talking about? And She's like, yeah, totally,
you are very authentically speaking to me. I don't even
know what's going on. Well, Jess is just daggers. Yeah,
but like, what is Rob talking about? Like, I know
how I think I can speak to women on authentic level?
(34:23):
What does that mean? Here's what he's thinking. I'm drunk.
I'm gonna plow this. That's it. That's all he's thinking.
Even good guys want to plow. Mm that's the name
of my memoir. Even good guys were the plow. Wow.
(34:44):
That's so beautiful. That's what rodding home this caw Wow,
that's gorgeous. Yeah. So Rob continues to talk to Hannah
and they walk they're like holding hands and they walk
by Jess and Jess literally throws her cigarette at them
(35:06):
and that's a rough move. Didn't hit her, no, but
still dangerous to throw your cigarette at someone. I don't know.
That's that's messy bit ship. So anyway, back on the boat.
Outside of the boat, Rob is crying. I don't know
what is going on with these people. Like one second
he's like, I'm talking to party and the next second
(35:27):
he's like and Malie is giving him a pep talk
and she's like, I really think Jess loves you. But
it's just like really tricky right now, and he's like
and then Jess says she doesn't think he wants to
be together, so she's just going to give him the
now and he can be single. And I'm like, girl,
(35:48):
you don't mean that. You know you're breaking hearted. John's
you're sit breaking hearted? What do you think, Nick? Do
you think she's say breaking hurted? I think that this
in season is done. Dog, Well, the storyline isn't going anywhere. Well,
it's over. It's the next day, it's the final day.
(36:10):
It's departure day. Rob and Jess are still fighting in
the morning and Jess is crying and he says, I'm
doing the crossing and she's like, you're not doing the crossing,
you're just running. And he says I need some space
and she's like, you're damaging me. And he's like, you're
damaging me. She's like, now you're damaging me and you
(36:33):
broke my heart. And then Rob says, heartbreak is a gift.
That's true, it's a gift he's giving to Jess. Yeah,
that's I don't even know what to think about that.
But and then Rob says, I just want to get
off this boat. Let's just pack and go. And then
Jess cries and begs him not to do the crossing,
and then he tells us that he has two days
(36:53):
to decide if he's doing the crossing or going to
Bali with Jess. Do the crossing, do the gross I
think everyone wants him to do the crossing. God, could
you imagine if you went and did the crossing? I
think life would be incredible. But now it sucks. Now
he's got to live in a van like everybody else. Yeah,
(37:18):
do you think I know? It's like, okay, So these
are two awards we could give below Deck. It's the
longest running show with no UM married couples, and it's
also the longest running show UM. What was I just
talking about? Awards? Yeah? What awards was? What was that
(37:41):
given an award out for? I don't know if all
you didn't say you said no married couples. Well, you
know what, let's take a quick break. You can think
about that will be raz Wait a minute and we're back.
It doesn't remember what he was talking about before break.
(38:04):
That was a great segue. So Alex leaves first and
he says he feels like he can now be a
lead deckhan on a bigger vessel. And then Bugs says goodbye.
I know it. Yes, below Deck their two awards one
no couples get married and be the longest running reality
(38:25):
show with the most contestants living in vans. Okay, wow,
thank you for that. Anyway, Alex leaves first and Bug
says goodbye to him, and she almost calls him her
big brother, which is weird. No, it's not, that's how
she feels about him. But she just makes out with
(38:45):
her brother. No, she just felt pressure to make out
with him. I don't know. I think she's just like
Blackout and the party. Yeah, I will say. On the
after show watch what Happens Live, she said she regrets
not hooking up with him sooner, getting things popping off sooner.
(39:07):
I don't know, as like having someone to like, you know,
hook up with on the show to like play. But
I don't know. It sounds like she likes her brother. Wow. Mhmm,
that's gross. Anyway, Rob and Jesse leave next, and it's
(39:27):
really awkward and weird, but yeah, they leave together, and
then we get a little thing, a little card that
says that Rob and Jess went to Bally together, and
then we cut to Ice show, who says, oh, fa
fax sakes, that's a terrible impression of ice show. You
should full fuck six there you go? Yeah, perfect. So
(39:50):
I guess they went to Bally and he didn't do
the crossing. I don't like him anymore. Done? All right,
see you next week, Rob, I mean Nick, it's me Rob.
What will you forgive me? No? Come on, man, no,
I'm cutting people like you out of my life. But
(40:13):
but Nick, cutting you out of my life? Nick? What? Um?
I almost told you a kind of inappropriate joke. But
now cutting you out of my life was the greatest
(40:34):
decision I ever made. What What did the penis say
to the condom cover me? I'm going in? Okay? What
kind of bees produced milk boobies? Uh huh huh huh
(40:57):
huh huh huh huh uh Nick, Nick, what happened to you? Nick?
It's me Rob. Nick, It's me Rob. Okay, I got
another one for you. Because you live in Los Angeles.
How do you say? Fuck you in Los Angeles? You say,
(41:18):
trust me? Huh huh? Okay, it looks like you have
left town. All right, Okay, I guess I'll leave. I
hope you can forgive me for leaving with Jess and
going to Barley. I you know how it is. Sometimes
(41:38):
I think I think with the wrong head. If you
know what I mean, and I mean my penis, the
bulb on my penis, I think with that. I'm sorry,
Please forgive me. The bulb has grown big. I could
not decide which was my brain and which was my
penis head, and that led me to thee with the
(42:00):
wrong one. Nick. Will you ever forgive me for not
doing the crossing? Nick? Where are you? I need you
now more than ever, Nick, I can see you hiding
from me. You're You're too big of a man to
(42:23):
hide behind that skinny, skinny tree. All right, Rob, I
guess you gotta go because Nick's not interesting talking to
you is very upset with you. Oh okay, I'll go
back to bally by Ley. On the after show, Andy
Cohen kept calling bally Bally. Okay, fine, I forgive you, Rob,
(42:45):
He's gone. What yeah, no, but I'm ready to forgive you.
Went back to bally or bally as Andy Cohen kept
pronouncing it. Maybe it is bally, yeah, just like it's Lahalla.
So oh um, I shall leaves an accent. She says
she's so happy to finally be going home and says
(43:06):
this season was so shitty that it taught her that
even she can be unhappy, which is I think saying
a lot that I should discover sadness while on this show.
Oh for sure. Yeah, and I don't never even happened
to her. She just showed up late and I ruined her.
But like the vibeh, yeah, maybe they were bad vibes.
(43:31):
She was like, this crew sucks. The vibes are bad.
I'm out of here anyway, Bugs is leaving and then
as she's leaving, a really cute baby goat shows up. Yeah,
what the fuck? I don't know. It's just like, okay,
where were they hiding this baby goat? I don't know,
but I was like, what's up, little baby goat? Who
(43:51):
probably owns a yacht? That little baby goat so rich? No? Really?
Is he like a chic? Yeah? Oh? Also I saw
your smoking the same pen that Hannah had. Yeah you
get it? Yes underlined I got it at Hannah's personal store. No, yeah,
(44:12):
she sells him. Now you asked you went in there?
You're like, was Hannah Ferrier in here? No? She she
owns the store and operates it. Oh cool, all right,
Well Malea and Tom leave next and they're like, we're
a happy couple. We're out of here, We're going on
another boat together. And I'm like, good luck, bitch, because,
as you know, they break up. She basically implies that
(44:36):
he cheated on her with Jess. No, not with Jess,
with Rob, No with Whiz No, well, yes, with wis
What if it turned out to be whiz awesome. I mean,
it'd be a great plot point. Hm, we're gonna have
to get him back on the same boat, fight it out. Yeah. Well, anyway,
(44:58):
Captain Sandy said this has been the most challenging season
she's ever experienced, but you don't grow from the good times,
and this crew really stood out to her, and she's
proud of them and grateful to have worked with them.
And that's the end of the episode. Baby, Yep, it's
time for boat facts with Nikky Tease. You know, I
(45:22):
was thinking, you know, sometimes these boat facts they're really dry,
you know, academic facts. But today I just wanted to
have a little fun. So I google what's what's the
fun boat? You know, what's what's the most fun boat?
And I'll tell you what it is. It's the laser
fun boat. It's the what laser fun boat? Laser fun boat. Yeah,
(45:47):
it's a fun boat, a fun boats, a type of boat.
It's an entry level sail boat. If you ever thought
about sailing, but you never thought about learning, you can
get a fun boat, easy to rig, easy to sail.
The fun Boat is the perfect entry level sailboat with
a combination of roominess, stability, maneuverability, and simplicity. The fun
(46:07):
boat is extremely seaworthy. Designed with a modified tunnel hull,
the fun boat has everything for someone who just wants
to have fun on the water. No center board means
no hassle when pushing off or returning to your favorite beach.
Just simply jump on, hoist the sail, and you're off. Enjoy.
That's right. They got these lasers for the guests on
sailing who wanted to have like a little relay race
(46:29):
or whatever. Oh is that right? Yeah, Memory says, go
get the lasers. Yeah, well that's pretty cool. They are
about three grand. Should we go in on one? Well,
I think I heard radio should buy this one. Oh
my god, you're right. That probably shouldn't be too hard
to ask for. Okay, good, I'll just be like, hey, Jack, O'Brien,
(46:51):
can I expense this laser I bought? And he'll be
like no, He'll be like no, d DZ just got canceled.
And I'll be like that I had nothing to do
with that. I swear I didn't sell you out. I
swear all I did nothing. Alright, Well, that's both facts.
(47:12):
That's the show. I can't thank you all enough. That's
another season in the books. Of course, We've got a
couple of reunion episodes, and then we are back on
top with a new show, and it's great, and we're
gonna guess and we're gonna expose our breasts and we'll
do nothing less breast and I will make a nest
(47:33):
stand up. Let you do the best stand all of
the rest. Okay, we're not exposing our breasts, but yes
we are wrong, guys, keep looking at We're gonna keep
dropping these. I believe we'll drop. The reunion apps will
drop tomorrow along with the first episode of season eight
of Regular Below Deck, and then after tomorrow we're weekly. Baby,
(47:58):
we're not daily no more, but I used to three
times a day. Well, sorry, but there's we watched so
much TV. I just want to thank you, alright, by Alright, guys,
that's it. Follow us a deckheads pod on Instagram and Twitter.
Email us at deckheads pod at gmail dot com. Oh
(48:19):
and you know what you can do? Recommend guests you
want us to have on who watched below deck because
we would love to have them. I'm at Anna hosting,
Nick is at Nick's Turners. Check out our merch on
t public. We have some fun stuff up there. And
uh yeah, guys, our final request just leave us a
five star review. Do you see how much fucking work
we did for you all this this year? Oh my gosh,
(48:41):
we we we could. We could enjoy one little fly
star review. All Right, We're out of here by Deckheads
is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast
from my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
(49:02):
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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