Season 8, Episode 3 with Renee Gauthier

Anna and Nick are joined by Renee Gauthier to talk about season 8, episode 3 of Below Deck.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Deckheads, a production of IR Radio. Welcome to
Deckheads with your hosts Nick and Anna, broadcasting from the
bottom of the boat below below Deck. Whoa, I'm horny,
all ya talk all the time. I'm having a party.

(00:21):
We're shoveling cold to keep this show afloat. I love cocaine.
We're up the map in international waters. I need some trama.
Me hide that cocaine. Never in my nose. Shut See
you know I'm in an open relationship. Below deck wo

(00:44):
me Deckheads? Hi Nick? Anna? Yes, Hi, it's Nick. It's
mean Nick. Yeah, that's the host of below Deck, a
show about deckheads. Well we're both, Um, don't correct me.
You know the audience. We've gotten a lot of complaints

(01:04):
about you correcting me. I have not seen these complaints
at all. Yeah no, the Proud Boys. Okay, so complaints
that don't matter. Yeah. Yeah, they say you shouldn't you
shouldn't complain to me. I think honestly, they probably you
shouldn't speak at all. Woman. Well we'll get into that
later with the president of the Proud Boys that we

(01:25):
have as a guest today, we have a hilarious comedian,
producer actress that I recently sign a movie, and I
was quite taken by Yes, please welcome Reneau. I saw
The Turkey Bowl starring Ryan Hansen. Now this movie, I know,

(01:48):
you know, it's what you would be thinking. You know,
you're you're scrolling through Netflix. It's a Saturday afternoon watch
two thousand nineteen. Ryan Hanson goes home to his hometown
to play in the annual football game him that there's
like some grudge about and uh, it's got all the hits.
It's got Matt Jones Beaver from Breaking Bad, it's got

(02:08):
the crazy hot ripped guy from Blue Mountain State, and uh,
it's it's got everything you would want to in that movie.
And then guests who shows up? I had no idea,
and um, I thought you fucking killed it. And I
was so happy and there wasn't enough of it. I'm

(02:30):
hoping there's a bit of a spinoff. Um, but uh,
and then I just looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes
and there's it's like I got like audience score. Whoa,
it's good. Yeah, it's it's thank you. It's I rewrote
a lot of the female scenes. Yeah, that's like fix

(02:52):
them a little bit. Um, because it's a dude, it's
a dude movie. The girls, you know, they're in it,
but they're you know, so I want to do I
pitched to the director and writers already to do a
girl version the Turkey Ball. That's what she said, and
the same exact movie, but from the female's point of view.
So that was the same scenes, but like you get

(03:17):
it all from a woman. Yeah. Yeah, the women are
driving it, so we'll see. That's funny. We both want
a spin off. It's called The Turkey Ball. Yeah, is
it Netflix? Is that where I watched it? You probably
watched us. It is on Prime and iTunes and it
was in the movie theater. Like I went to Oklahoma

(03:41):
for five weeks to shoot that, and yeah, and we
all became very close. I was just with Matt Jones
and the lead, Kristen Hagar. They're engaged in real life.
They fell in love in Oklahoma. Oh god, and everyone's
like really close. Ryan Hanson is the best. It was
very cool. You know, it's ridiculous movie. It's it's silly. Yeah,

(04:05):
for sure. I love Ryan Hansen, which is why I
clicked on it. And I also watched Fantasy Island, which
is why I looked out the Rotten Tomato score because
I know Fantasy Island got like two, but I still
was so excited because it was Damon Lindelof wrote it. Yeah,
and then I watched it and I fucking loved it.

(04:25):
Fantasy Island, Fantasy have seen. I watched it. I wrote
for Lucy Hale on New Year's rackone, and so I
was like, I'm gonna watch Fantasy Hi, and I'm gonna
like watch all of her stuff. And I watched it
in my backyard because I kind of built a deck
this Quarantine and it got a movie projector so I
watched it with my nephews in the backyard. I love Ryan. Yeah, yeah,

(04:50):
it was fun. Yes, sorry, let me introduce my co
host's let's kind of get into it all right, So
I have some below deck questions for you. This is
my new opening that I've created four guests, because you're
technically only our third guest ever right on our number

(05:12):
three the first time. Oh yeah, you had no idea.
This is like our two show. We just started having
guests this season because we finally caught up. Yeah, we've
done ever in the last year, this pandemic. We've covered
literally starting in February, we covered every single episode of
Below Deck to ever exists. Nine months. We're not doing well.

(05:33):
I was gonna say, I remember your tweet about it
year ago, and I was like, it feels like years ago.
I just caught up on the new season. And there's
a few seasons of the traditional below Deck that I
probably dipped in and out of. Did you guys also Mediterranean?
You just like straight up sailing? Oh? Yeah, see is

(06:00):
the best? So much goes down on that. Yeah. So
when did you start watching Below Deck? When did it
hit your radar? If you will your boat radar? I
want to say a season one or two? Damn, because
in the industry in yeah, I was working with Crissy

(06:20):
Tegan and she's obsessed with it. I'm also obsessed with Bravo.
I watch everything Bravo, So no matter what it all
except for Real Housewives at Potomac, I don't want to
be called out for being a liar. I don't watch
that one there I said it. Oh my god, now
we have we have ourselves a bona fide reality show

(06:41):
producer on here in you? Is this correct? What have
you worked on? You did work on something I've seen,
didn't you work on Love Island. No, I did Paradise,
the only reality show. Yeah, the only reality show I've
ever worked on that's like quintessential reality and not just
deemed reality by the industry standards. You know what I mean,

(07:05):
Like when you get so they don't pay writers, I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
because LIPSTNC Battle is considered reality, but it's a it's not.
It's a comedy competition show or whatever. So Paradise Hotel,
I was the writer for Kristen Cavaliery Beautiful, and I
gotta tell you she's the best person ever. Yes, she
really is. She's the best. So I spent seven weeks

(07:26):
in Mexico, um working on that, but I produced No
One but Her, which was still hang Out. I mean,
she lives in Nashville, but we talked all the time.
I was talking to a mutual friend of ours that
I will not say here, um, and she was she
had worked for a while with a celebrity who's been

(07:49):
a celebrity for twenty five years, and so she recently
worked on a project with her, and then I thought
they got really close. And then afterwards she stopped for
turning her like texts and she got so offended because
she thought they had become real friends, even though they
never hung out outside of work even one time. Can

(08:09):
you text me who you're talking about? Because I really
need to know. Also, I will tell you this Christie
and I. I've been to her birth Christie Taggen, even
to her birthday parties. I was in New York and
went to her and like, I haven't been invited to
her thanksgivings and shipped like that and we don't talk.
She came to my I don't know. I consider as friends,
but I don't expect her to ever reply to me.

(08:31):
If she can't, I'm also okay with that. But when
it matters, she shows up, and I think that's kind
of like enough. Like I shot a pilot with the
guy do my podcast with Mitch Marsham, and she and
John came to the live taping, and I thought that
was never gonna happen. Like I texted her because I

(08:53):
could feel me going back to lives in Battle and
her being like, you didn't invite us, So I just
did it knowing she didn't need to come, and she goes,
you bitch, I just landed in Bally, send me a car,
like kidding, and then sure enough we got back to
the whipsting battle and lal J was like, you didn't
invite us, So okay, you started around season one season two.

(09:15):
So do you think has been your favorite season you've
ever watched? I don't really have a favorite seasons by
the worst person you've had off. I actually really like
this season. I like that they kind of swept gave
us maybe you know, eddies, like a little bit of
a like we've seen them before, right, So like I
kind of like the new ship in season eight. There's

(09:37):
so many you know. What I think about the Below
Deck is that, like a lot of long running reality shows,
they just figure it out and it just maintains a
high level. But then it's so much more rewarding the
more you watch it, because like when people come in
and out and you know more that the history and

(09:58):
the stories it does just keep getting better. I enjoy
it always. To me, I always compare shows like Below
Deck a lot of ways, like Grey's Anatomy, which I
also still watch because Grey's Anatomy cleverly filters in newcast
when you when you're really connected to the ones that
originated it and you're just like, I'm gonna hate this guy,

(10:20):
and then like three and you're like fine, and then
they last forever. And I feel like that's what happens
with Below Deck, is like they'll transfer someone in gently
or they're like, you know, the next thing, they're like
that guy's gone, this guy's in, and you're like, there's
a new chef. I want to see this new chef,
and then all of a sudden, I'm like I want.
I turned on season eight and I was like, you
know what, I needed them to refresh it like, and

(10:44):
I didn't miss anyone. I do miss who diffranchise could
take over for the older woman Kate and I love.
I really liked her, even though how did you describe Kate?
Say it again? No, she's a confusing age, is she not?

(11:05):
She's thirty seven, She's like somewhere in there right now?
Um okay, because I thought she was thirty nine, So
it's not totally off. I just met older compared to
the cast, Like I feel like she seemed like the

(11:26):
mature one of the group. Right to me, it felt
like she had aged out of wanting to deal with
these people, which is I think why she was like
I'm done, which is why I think season seven went
so like it just kind of blew up because like
she had no patience for like dumb bros like being dicks,
and like, you know, had that relationship with Captain Lee

(11:47):
that was like solid, you could not funk with them. Yeah,
I agree, I agree. I feel like I related to her,
hate her like impatience for it almost retriggered in the
season this episode three, when all those twenties something's came
on board, I was like, oh, kill me. I think

(12:08):
the timeline for yachties is similar to like say an
NFL player, you know, like if you're thirty seven, that's like, wow, what,
congrats for an incredible career. And then there's just like
the odd like forty two year old you know Boston,
and you're like, oh, are you still getting up every day?
And that's the way that Eddie talks about it, like

(12:30):
he doesn't he wants to go home early the first
night at party because he's thirty five and that's not
even old like but but my whole thing is like
why don't any of them want to become a captain,
Like we've never seen anyone age into a captain. We
saw Jay Wow j jo Oo. As you guys known,

(12:51):
but we call him Jay. Wow. He did eventually become
a captain. He was from the Med season and has
been captaining small boats. Yeah, Malia's Fleakingna, she wants to
be like a captain. Sandy. Those are both Med people, okay,
And um, you know Eddie is the captain of a
towboat tug boat, a tug boat tug boat that tows boats. Right,

(13:14):
I just I just mean Lee's style, you know, Like
I just mean in the energy of and Sandy who
I like Sandy. She's just so much what happens live
during this quarantine and I was glad to see her.
That interesting, That is interesting. Where do you go from
like thirty five to forty five before you're a captain?

(13:34):
Because yeah, you gotta be. He wants to hear it
from some whipper snapper like, that's dope, I'm the cap
Yeah we parked rat. Dude. You I think you become
one of those people that they don't show, like the
first mate or whatever, as when you're like in that

(13:55):
weird back room that they refused to film because you
don't exist. You're just like in charge and we'll stop
the boat from sinking. But God, forbid if they show
you even for a second camera ready, although once or
twice I have noted that they were fuckable, and so

(14:16):
I do wonder what happened. But you gotta develop a
complex if when you're doing your job, Like every time
there's a camera like that, you see it, the person goes,
oh no, that's got to sleep in. Or there's a
lot of that footage on the cutting room floor, like

(14:36):
like it's a lot of like first mate cut it
out like loggers, like putting where they catch the ugos.
They're not they're not a cast, but it's like bandard
comp rules a lot, right, Like you see rando waitresses
walking around and you're like, who is that? You're like, now,
so okay, My last question, who has been her favorite

(15:01):
cast member ever? Kate is that unpopular? I just like her.
I like that she starts ship, but she also kind
of feel bad for her. I don't know, she seems
that maybe I relate. That's the thing. It's like, as
a full human, you have to go with Kate because
she's so smart and so quick and so funny and

(15:22):
so pretty and she's just like got everything. Where you
like other characters because they make dumb decisions or like
they broke the toe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, very dumb ship.
I also I really like Captain Sandy. I just like
her because she's she seems so calm for the most
of it. Like Lee kind of gets triggered quite like

(15:42):
he'll be like, oh yeah, whatever it is, like sound
always like, oh, wife the duck with yoururette, all right,
uncle Lee. But Sandy doesn't. When she goes there, I'm
excited to see her go there because it's not like
all the time I'm in my opinion, Yeah, we're really

(16:03):
season five or season I guess she's been in four
seasons so far, but like you could tell, like season
four Sandy was like when the actors and the production
gets more money, you know, like that year where it
turns out they get like a three year contract and
then they come in and they got some new swagger.

(16:23):
That's Sandy this year for sure. Yeah. I like to
play that, And that's the game I like to play.
If you watch like even if you watch Scream, if
you watch a movie from the nineties of the early
two thousand's and you look at like Nev Campbell's teeth
and then you go, oh, those are her old teeth
and then you like shoot to another movie late in

(16:44):
the two thousand's, you're like, she got new teeth. It's
like everyone who starts as the same with real housewives,
their makeup gets more. Although I will say Salt Lake
City started strong and hard with that beat on their face.
I was like Jesus Christ as I brought think they
were already like they were waiting for their show. Can
I can? I tell you my favorite set of new

(17:05):
teeth is uh boy, Gerard Carmichael, season two of The
Carmichael Show. Check it out. It's remarkable. Wow, I love
I love like the like the Pete Davidson Veneers, Like
you're like, okay, the best you can spot new teeth

(17:26):
in someone's career. If they have new teeth, they're doing good.
Like they're like, all ship, did you get a dude too?
You got a cap? Someone whitened them because there are
some god awful shades of bones. Yeah, there's actually I
can see it like in my family photos, like you
can see like when my dad kind of like made

(17:47):
some money in his life because it's all like Jankee
Jankye teeth jenk and then all sudden he's like boom,
like like smiling, like I don't even know, like it
was a movie star something like it was just like
a dude, what what? Like it's so obvious. It's like
the second you get those teeth done, you're like, yes,

(18:07):
look at me. Yeah, I remember, not wrong. My first
really good year in comedy, my brother was living in
Bogata and the thing that's really cheap in Bogata is
leather products. And so like Lara and I went both down.
We both bought like these sick ass leather jackets for
a hundred bucks each. You know, it was like it

(18:28):
was really great deal. Anyway, came back and then I
saw the Lucas. Brother called me out and was like,
as they started taking success leather jacket because everybody gets
a leather jacket, yeah that. I was like, well, you're
not wrong, yeah, focus. Well I had adult braces and

(18:48):
I called them adult braces because I paid for them myself.
I got him when I was twenty one. I was
a dancer and I was like, I gotta kick it.
And I was doing Second City and stuff in Chicago,
and I was like, I gotta kick these teeth and
the idea, Yeah, and I got braces and I got traditional.
They were like doing hi busil line. I was like, nah,
like right here, I wanted I want them to I

(19:09):
was doing improv. It didn't matter. I was young. It
was like whatever, it doesn't matter. But like now that
you can see the pictures to your point, Anna, like
you can see the pictures of me going like that,
and then all of a sudden it's like, hey, yeah,
you guys all see what teeth? Yeah, And it's like yeah,
I just yeah, that's why I noticed teeth. Also, yeah,

(19:32):
you have great teeth, both of you. Thank you. I
had a kind of adults braces you do? You had
aces up until I had them into my first year
freshman year of college. I had them late And how long?
How many years did you have them? Like two or
three years? I got them got conned by like a
con man orthodonist who like pulled this con on her

(19:55):
old neighborhood where yeah, she had she had braces for
like three times as long she had braces for like
three years or whatever. Um, I don't know how long
you're supposed to have braces, It depends on your year.
Two braces for fucking ever. And then it was like

(20:15):
revealed that this guy was just like shady. Oh he
just kept so she just for years of her life
she had unnecessary braces. Jesus, do you imagine? All right,
I think that's a good point. We just started our show, okay,
so yeah, we continue this episode with Charlie scolding Shay
in the back room or like one of the downstairs

(20:36):
were being like, you have embarrassed me. That was so embarrassing,
and she's like, you know, embarrassing, that was very me.
And I'm like, I would argue that everything Charlie has
done thus far is embarrassing. Like he's embarrassing himself. It's
not like Shay having a freak out when she was drunk.
Is that embarrassing? I don't know. And then he basically

(20:56):
like stay in here, like he like tries to lock
her in a room. Nonsense, Absolutely, it was h Yeah.
I mean went listen as a former server bartender, the
condescending way Charles Charlie whatever. Then we're calling him the
condescending way. He goes and like i'll serve this, will

(21:17):
serve the food, We'll do. It's just like that energy
of thinking you know better than everyone makes me want
to throw you over the boat. Yeah, I agree, it's absurd.
You know what would be great is if they all
let him do it. If every member of the crew
said yes, you could do our job and then they
just left the boat. The thanks so much gets tips.

(21:48):
That tip was crazy. Those tips are crazy. We know
why because he was playing a character and also it's
his third time, so he knows the game. If you've
watched any of these episodes, you know you no matter
what they do, you got to leave a tip because
your people are usually on here promoting some business. Yeah. Yeah,

(22:11):
and you get a discount for being on the show. Basically,
you don't pay full price of what you would pay
if you were. But this guy probably you know, from
what it seems like, they had like a dropout or
something and then like he did them a favor. It
was like maybe a last minute thing. I probably probably
paid nothing. Well, okay, so remember that tweet I post.

(22:31):
Someone tweeted at us that Charlie was actually one of
the below Deck producers and that's and he fills in
when they have a dropout. And I just thought it
was funny, so I retweeted it, and then I posted
on our Instagram and it got picked up by like
below deck, I don't know news or whatever like podcast. Well, yeah,

(22:52):
I tweeted it. We don't have a lot of followers
on our Instagram. It was like maybe a little less
than two hundred, nothing crazy, but it got like swooped
as like an news article. And also people are writing
articles and being like so this person claims he's this,
but really he's this. It's just like it was such nonsense.
I was like, how is this a scoop? Like it's
someone too. I posted a screenshot of a tweet that

(23:14):
has no back, like no facts, we don't know anything.
I was just like l O l hot tea. And
then like someone wrote an article about it, like someone
treated this. But it turns out he just like has
worked with Bravo in the past, like because he works
in PR. And it's like, yeah, yeah, I can't believe
anyone even like took this as like true facts, Like

(23:36):
I didn't know did that blow up our Instagram? Do
we have? Like no, it didn't at all. They just
read posted us and then we're like facts, And then
everyone started attacking the person who reposted us for like
posting lies. I guess I don't know. I was like,
this is so silly that we got scooped. Let me
say this, it's not silly anymore because of Q and

(23:56):
on Yeah, I believe anything gets taken through now based
on that's garbage. Like you're like, oh, I mean, why
do people think he's a producer on below deck? Well,
because people think, um, the Democrats are eating children and
drinking their like it's insane, the whole thing, and they're

(24:17):
obviously parallel. Yeah, as we always have to say on here,
we love our Q and on listeners, you guys will
believe fucking anything, and so there's no better person to
have as a fan. Um. And if you don't buy
our merch actually your grammatize on Thanksgiving, I just want
to say I respect and love all our listener p

(24:40):
I s private investigators who send us stuff like that,
So keep sending it to us. I'll keep posting it.
We'll see what we can influence in this. Yeah, I mean,
I love ship like that. I want them to send
it to me to just for fun at yeah a
tall tag me. I want to hear all of it.

(25:00):
So of course, Okay, So whatever the crew hates this charter,
they're out of their minds. I do love that James
is like already like creeping on Francesca and being like, so,
are you gonna hook up with anyone here? And she's like,
I don't know me maybe, and he's like, Francisca the
British accent, let me, let me taste the inside of you.
She's fit and shag able, very shackable, which I'm like,

(25:23):
that's all I've heard James say. I don't think James
says anything else. It's either someone is fit or that
he can fuck them. He really does say fit a lot.
And even for a British person, it's a lot. It's
it's a lot. I mean, And I've watched a lot
of British elevigion. What's British for fun boys? I can

(25:45):
find out to find out, yeah, because I know that
boy toy in England is toy boy? Oh is it? So?
I don't know if that means he's a boy fuck.
I think he's a boy fuck. Yeah, all right, it
is uh what is it? It's the next day on
the boat Blessings. Yeah, the guests are finally leaving and

(26:08):
there oh we have a classic below deck moment. At
this point they are docking the boat and they are
pretending it's gonna be dangerous. It's so hard. Oh no,
anything could go wrong, millions of dollars in damage. It's
gonna probably the boat sink immediately. Everyone will die. Okay, Okay,

(26:30):
I mean this guy was acting like Lee's acting like
it's the Titanic hitting an iceberg. Get off, inside, get off.
It's like, it's okay, you know what I mean. Also,
girls inside, I know, I'm pretty sure we're called radio
side even I like, I've watched so much of the
show that I could work at like, you know, very

(26:52):
low key on this boat of like guys, but hopefully
we asked for radio silence. Okay, this just in fun.
Boys are called shaggers. Shag is I think that's different shaggers. Yeah,
that makes sense. Call me a shagger. Okay, So that's you, guys,

(27:16):
because that was a classic. We're going to dock the
boat and guess what. Everything turns out fine. You know
what you gotta do. You gotta drink chug a chugga.
That's our chug a Chugga sound bit where we make
everyone drink at least once an episode because goddamn ship
always happens where they're like it's a tight spot. We
don't know if we'll make it, and then it always

(27:37):
turns out fine within like ten seconds. Like two episodes in,
they've hit one pylon. Yeah, one pylon. Let me ask
you this just really quick, talking about the Charlie situation,
the whole crew's first experience with this dude, right, like
they were all warned about from that high maintenance. But
so that's what almost made it even better that he returned,

(28:01):
that he was like ruining yet another crew. Yeah, for sure,
Like the last time he was here. We talked about
this a little last episode. But Josiah, who was the
only Kate match that Kate's ever had. Yeah, they made
him like put on a speed Oh, they like making
people put on speedos. Yeah, and you know he had

(28:22):
like a breakdown because he was like, it's the gym
gaze from my childhood bullying. Yeah, he was triggered by them. Yeah. Also,
I don't think James was that hot that I don't like.
I don't like this strange I James on the After

(28:47):
Show and his personality is like it's just non existent.
He shot after show is the worst show they Okay
about the After Show real quick, Um, you know I
watched the next day on the Bravo app, as I
know a lot of people do. They do not have
watched What Happens Live up until two days later, and

(29:09):
so what they have in its place are clips from
the night before, So you can watch the whole interview,
but you have to watch it in clips that they
do not play successively, so you have to keep going
back and playing a new clip, and then going back
and playing a new clip. And these people are the
two most boring people I've ever heard in my whole life.

(29:31):
And then they asked them they played dumb, irrelevant games,
and then they bring on idiots from around the country
to be on camera for no reason and ask them
dumb fucking questions. And I don't know why they do it.
I want to produce that are you talking about? Watch
what Happens? Watch what Happens Live? Because there's also the

(29:54):
after show. What the funk are you talking about? Well,
they've like combined it now the watch would Happen Live?
After it it's just the after show. There's also the
cast of all the shows. There's an after show that's
not What What Happens Live that they sit and just
talk kind of about what happened. Oh I don't know.
I didn't see that. Oh yeah, there's there's it's only

(30:16):
digital and it's on the app, so you'll see it
when you watch, Like, if you go on the app
and watch Bravo, you'll see right below it has an
aftershow with like three of the cast. Oh that's right.
I don't like people prove I'm an idiot. You came
in here, you said I'm doing my show badly, and

(30:37):
I couldn't agree with you more I am. I have
a hole in my heart in your hat, you know what, Nick,
I think this is fun of me. Right now, I'm
taking a quick break so you can steam and we'll
be right back. You guys after these quick messages b
RB and we're back, Nick, are you still steaming? I

(31:02):
will continue this episode only because I am contractually obligated to. Yeah,
well we should keep it moving, all right. So the
guests are finally leaving, and then Captain Lee let's Francesco
know that Izzy's going to deck, which is great because
Izzy moves fucking slower than molasses. She's so it annoys
me how slow she is. I can't imagine, can't I

(31:23):
can't the dirtiness of that laundry room in the cabinets,
and the fact that she had no speed on that
at all and nothing had been I would kill her. Yeah,
and she's too into her vibrator. She's very into her vibrator. Yeah.
I think that's interesting because it's the first time ever
we've had a switch between departments, Like we've never had

(31:44):
that before. Well, we have had people doing jobs for
an extended period of time, like who was it who
had a sush chef from the debt grew for seven episodes?
Oh wait no, because Anastasia was a stupid but Mila
was a weird homophobe idiot, so they got rid of
her and a station character of all time. She's my

(32:05):
favorite opposite of Jesus. Yeah, they brought her in and
then they made Travis her sush chef because he had
worked in like kitchens on boats before, to help her
out because she like Travis the drunk. Yes, I hope
he's doing okay. Oh he was a big old slapped
an a station. Oh my god, he slapped her. I

(32:30):
remember when they were like out. He was drunk and
she had her head down like she was started dating.
I slapped her yes, well he tried to date Hannah,
and Hannah was like triggered by how much. Yeah, from
that season two people needed to go to jail. He
needed to go to jail. And the guy who picked
up Anastasia by her waist, that was Madison on Sailing. Oh,

(32:54):
that was Madison. They're very similar looking, just like the
kind of looks Miller. Yeah, he Nick has no idea
where he is right now. They're all I don't know.
I don't know who they are. All I know is
that some of them are South African, some of them
are Australian, some of them are British, and some of
them are American. Yeah that's true. Okay, Well we do

(33:17):
learn that they got a twenty five thousand dollar tips.
I mean I was not expecting that. Well, that's what
you don't pay. And you want to come back, I know,
and your producer for Blood you're and you're an executive producer,
and you like the thing that sticks about that that charter. Yeah,

(33:38):
that charter was the one friend of the primary who
asked for the omelet with Hard Parmesan. It was just
such a weird element. It was like, I went Hard Parmesan,
I was like that's a firm cheese. There's nowhere else
to go with it. Like, so you don't want fake parmesan, Yeah,

(34:00):
you don't want craft grated parts. What do you what
are you asking for? I think that's probably what they meant.
Probably because they don't know what craft parmesan is. They think, Yeah,
they just never thought about that. It also comes because
I don't know what it comes from. I know all
graded parmesan that comes that way has an extra ingredient

(34:21):
that keeps it separated. You know, it's like something hard
to pronounce. And uh, it comes with any Any grated
cheese has a weird chemical in it keep it from coagulating.
I heard it has like wood chips in it or something,
but I don't know. I don't think that's true. I

(34:42):
don't know. I grew up very Italian. My grandparents always
had a brick of parm that they never they shredded them.
They grated it themselves like a little and put it
in like a peanuts like panners. But I have parmesan
in my fridge. I'll check the ingredients before we get

(35:03):
out of here. Yeah, check that also. Have you ever
been to one of those like restaurants? Where they make
the pasta on the cheese wheel. They like put the
hot pasta and like put sauce on a cheese wheel
and mix it up in there so the cheese gets
off and then they serve it and then they like
clean off the cheese area and then do it again
with the next dish. No, No, is that an olive

(35:24):
garden where I think it's quite fancy. I haven't done
it personally, but I saw it on TV a couple
of times and I've been obsessed with it. That's like
tableside gas, I know. And it's like you can tell him,
like keep it on longer and you get more cheese,
you know, ship all right? Something else. I don't remember
what restaurants are, like, I couldn't. I can't speak to this.

(35:46):
Oh for sure, I haven't been well. Okay, So yeah,
is he's trying to switch to deck asap, but Francesco
is not letting her. And Elizabeth. I love Elizabeth because
she's like I just like handle the negative energy coming
from Issy and Francesca. Where is her storyline gonna go?

(36:08):
I can't wait. I think she's going to try and like,
fuck James, you think she's going to try to function.
I think it's gonna be a love triangle between Francesca,
Elizabeth and James, don't you. Yeah? I like that. Yeah,
I think. So what's the surface, so cal Shane or
Sunshine Shane. What if she gets with Shane and then
they just have conversations about literally absolutely nothing. No one's

(36:30):
going to like crystals fall out everywhere. Yeah, it's impossible
to get with Shane because Shane doesn't. Shane definitely comes crystals. Yeah. Yeah,
he's a Rose Cords comer. Wait, so when did they
start calling him Sunshine? Because it became more evident in three.
In the second episode, Eddie calls him Sunshine to Captain

(36:54):
Lee for the first time. Got it, Okay, I feel
like it's such a hack nickname, like actually made me mad.
Captain Lee loved it. Yeah, Like he stopped, he stopped
everything he said Sunshine. He stopped. He's like, wait, Sunshine,
and he goes like, oh, Captain Lee is theoretically hack

(37:15):
like the ship sets. But Eddie, Eddie's the absolutelyst Eddie
thinks he's Jim Carrey. So do the impression nick, Oh
it's me Eddie? Oh hell are you can? I gonna
suggestion from the audience firs Eddie in a nutshell. I
hate it and it sucks that Rachel is the female

(37:38):
Eddie as well. Look at my melons Like I was like, oh,
this is just a crew of but actually no, because
Captain Lee when they were like docking and it was
like drama and the girls were like kept going on
the radio, he was like, you couldn't drive a straight
pin up my ass with a ten pounds sledgehammer. And

(37:58):
I'm like, what are you talking about out what does
that have to do with the docking. When I heard
him say that, so okay, let me just be clear,
Bravo's on in my life. Okay, so a lot of
times I watched episodes twice I like to take him
in again. I'm the girl who will watch a Real
Housewives do again, but a lot. But what I heard

(38:22):
when he said that was that's what would happen to
him if they hit the boat. I didn't register that
he was talking about their like docking stuff. I was like, Oh,
he's going to pin up his jerk. He's going to
shove a pin up my ass well, like he was
gonna like take it in the ass, Like financially, that's

(38:45):
how I like sledge hammered his ask financial makes sense.
So when you just said yours makes way more sense
because I was like, what doesn't even to make any sense?
He speaks don't make sense. They're hacked. They are You're like, what, yeah, okay,
Like here's why I would thrive on below deck and
I wouldn't thrive on below deck because I would look

(39:06):
at Eddie in his eyes and I'd be like, we
don't do remember the Titans references here to come up
with a better You're making yourself a goddamn fool. Yeah,
that would be my things the whole time. My confession.
I would be like, no sarcasm. I'd be like, hey,
can we do some rewrites on this? We do a
little brainstorm session on the jokes tomorrow. That's what Sunshine

(39:28):
should have said. He should be like, you gotta you
gotta get someone to write this ship for you or
I don't know, maybe go back to the room because
that would have piste Eddie off and he would actually
have been hurt by that. I don't know, writers like
you could tell Edie is the type of person who
has like unnecessary amount of like confidence, like in that
regard like hitting his comedy. He's like really like, I'm funny.

(39:51):
I'm actually really funny, and you're like, well, yeah, you're. Yeah,
you can't take sarcas if you're gonna take it on
this crew. First of all, that's not sarcasm. That's passive
aggressive behavior, which sarcasm has a flare of funny and
you don't have no. Yeah, Eddie is a piece of work.

(40:14):
I also love that any time like he starts to
look like a fool, he gets so angry, like he
just gets so heated because he's like falling off a
jet skin into the water and he's just like You're like,
you're like when Rocky told everyone they had fucked, he
got so mad and he denied it and he became
a criminal. Yeah. How tall is Eddie? How how tall?

(40:39):
Clap him? Because I feel a short guy? Six? Yes,
I was gonna say five six as well. That's my guess.
If you don't have the facts, I would say I
would say five six seven. I would say he lies
about his height by an inch or two. Okay, Well,
Kate is supposedly five four, Okay, Eddie is six ft

(41:00):
six inches. That's the basketball player. I just looked it up. Yeah,
I know. It came up with six six two and
then I looked at the Wikipedia and it's a basketball player.
Now it says here thirty five year old. Uh he's
five eight according to height dot com. No, I think
he's he's six. Everyone else is fucking huge. Then he's

(41:27):
got five to energy. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of small guys,
we learned Rachel has a boyfriend and she keeps calling
him little guy. They met at an Indian restaurant restaurant
in Monaco, Monico, Monaco. I'm losing it in Monaco, and

(41:47):
she's like, and then this guy. I was in this
restaurant and this little guy came up to me and
next thing, you know, like, she's my boyfriend. It was
so weirds, Like, little guy, what are you talking about?
You have a little boyfriend? I guess, so what do
you carry him around a or what do you mean? Little?
And I make all his food for him. When they

(42:10):
showed the photos, he did look smaller than her, which
was about this much. I check. Yeah, it makes sense.
I'm sorry, Monaco, I know, I prefer Monaco. I prefer Okay,
that's got to replacea Lalla nick called La la Halla.

(42:32):
You're right, I deserve that Monaco Isna is totally the
new Lalla this time of year. I can't believe I
said that. Sag Minaco though, sounds like you're a rich
person trying to be smart're like, oh, we just went
to Monaco. It's Monica and you didn't go there. I

(42:56):
could never afford that. I'm going to Yah week in Monocco.
Why to Monico? What do you do there? I mean
Morocco Monica, I think she said because she she lives
and works in Monica when she's not Mirico. This is

(43:20):
the point where she ordered a Soco. This is literally
the point where is he's like, my boyfriend's my vibrators
like us trying to pronounce Minocco. Is When is the
point in the podcast that everyone turned it off? Yeah yeah,
they're like enough of this bullshit. Well I'm clearly not

(43:41):
learning anything here. Back to my Spanish tapes. Oh my god,
I do like that when Eddie's going over a bunch
of stuff with the deck team, like is he knows
absolutely everything and Shane gets everything wrong. And then James
does not say a word because he only talks when
he's commenting if a woman is fit, he good he's

(44:04):
kind of annoying James, Yeah, but would you look yeah?
Sagger guys got to be another word for that. Check boy.
So little going on. His expressions are so empty, Like
in the after show his expressions were so empty over

(44:24):
everything that I was like, this guy's got nothing going on.
Just the fun. He's like, I'm on holiday, You're not
on holiday. Yeah. Something I have to keep reminding myself
and Anna and other people who are watching this is

(44:45):
that these people are not smart people. They didn't get
this job. There's so many people that were like, how
did you get this job? They're like, well I wrote
to a boat company that I was willing to do
it and they said come beyond it. And every time
there's multiple people who've never done it before. You don't

(45:06):
have to do anything. You're just like, am I revolting
to look at No? Great? I can do it. But
they're so stupid and their motivations are like they don't
even know what they are and they're so because they're
just dumb. Well they're just running from something, yes, right, Well,
I feel like every Australian that has been on the
Below Decks franchise, they're always like, just got to get

(45:29):
out of Australia. God, and I've met like personal story,
went to Hawaii to a breakup alone because I wanted
to sell it to get a route back. Um no,
I had a free ticket, so I went. But I
met an Australian guy and he kept saying that Australian
women are awful and he wants to get out of Australia.
But it's like what I always fear from Australians. It's

(45:51):
so bizarre. I always heard growing up that Australian women
loved American men. Yeah, and and Australian men love them.
They just don't like each other. Interesting, No wonder those
awesome chicks want to be like I'll work out a yat.
No wonder. Most most of the country is uninhabitable. Well,

(46:14):
all right, it's the next charter meeting with Eddie, Francesca
Rachel and Captain Lee. Okay, we learned a bunch of twenties.
Some things are coming on and the primary's names are
Dax and Max. Dax Nittolo and Max Gilliam. Location Westlake Village,
California Village for Dax and thousand Oaks for Max. Okay,

(46:38):
you get their likes and dislikes. Dax and Max are
best friends from childhood who put together this charter to
have an unforgettable vacation with their group of closest friends.
Dax is a surfer who runs his own business. Yeah,
and Max is the star quarterback at University of Nevada

(46:58):
Las Vegas. Me boy, oh boy. They're bringing along their
closest inner circle. Of course, they are bringing along some
people they haven't met, starting with Sabrina, who is Dax's
girlfriend of three years. He's cheated on you, Nicole, who
is Max's girlfriend and a graduate student also being cheated on.

(47:20):
And Dreana, Max's sister and an executive account manager in finance.
All right, Luke, I believe that they're twenty two. I
love it when they give twenty two year old job titles. Yeah,
what am I? You're not doing anything? Their parents paid
for this trip English lit. That's what all should say.
They're major, Luke a high school friend. And I can't

(47:44):
read this whole sentence, but it ends with the word valet.
Is one of them a valet? Yeah? Why would you
include that? Self employed? He probably didn't see everyone else's.
Kayla is a waitress and in me as a ski instructor.
So they have kid jobs. Yeah, they have like summer jobs.

(48:05):
You don't need to tell me you're an executive account
manager in finance. You're not executive. Yeah. No, anyway, that's
our crew and the one main thing we know is
that they want sushi on a naked model, and that
gives Rachel a k female Jim Carrey the opportunity to

(48:26):
say fish on fish. How many millions of years would
it have taken for you to request that? I would
never have. I would never even think that's a thing.
I would never consider it. No. Look, it was in
Sex in the City, the first movie. You know what
I mean. But I nothing bothers me more than taking

(48:46):
like raw food off of skin. It doesn't make sense.
You know what else? I don't need a boner? Oh
my god, why do I need a bone? But I
don't need my boyfriend? Exact but I don't need my
boyfriend is terrible. Yeah, well that is going to happen soon.

(49:08):
Well okay. At one point, James says that he's a
traffic manager back home in England, which is is that
the guy was just standing in the road. That's like
guiding people. No, what the club he said he was
a manager, but I thought he worked at a claw.
I thought he said he was a traffic manager. And
it's always really rainy, so he's like happy to be

(49:31):
like where he's at on a boat. No, he said
it was something very very blue collar, like extremely crazy
blue collar, like he worked as a traffic cone or
something like. It was even worse like whatever it was,
it was like a job I didn't even know existing.
I think it's the guy that stands on the road

(49:51):
and it's like, I think that's insane. That's all he does.
This is what I'm saying. It's like, how long are
you going to have that? What? That's not who you are?
You know who you are. You're more importantly the guy
who probably busted a guy's head opened in a bar fight.
There is no way he is so he's so low key.

(50:14):
He just all he thinks about is women being fit.
I'm realizing as we're talking about the episode that I
heard things wrong almost about everything that was. I was like, No,
I was in a nightclub. Don't mean he study manages
his lingo? Confused? Did you look? Oh yeah, why would

(50:36):
that come up? Who's writing an article about that's your editor,
I have a new or about what James does. They
did have it, but then they also in the same
article said that Hannah had a baby, Hannah White baby,
so I'm uninterested. Okay, well, all right. They all go
out to dinner and James is like pounding drinks because

(51:00):
he's so happy to not be like guiding traffic and
he's on holiday. And James says he's a Gemini and
that he's too faced, and Elizabeth's like, I've dated geminis
in the past and it's a red flag, but I
still find him attractive, so whatever. And then everyone wants
to go home after dinner because I guess everyone's just old.

(51:20):
But then James is so bummed, and Loki I was bummed.
I was like, why don't you guys want a party?
That's where like the good ship happens. But then yeah,
they just decided to go back and James is like,
aren't we here to party? And everyone's like, no, you're
here to work. A couple of things when the Gemini
think came up. When a man knows about his sign

(51:42):
but tries to dog a girl who like believes in it,
I'm calling bullshit. That guy reads his horsecope. How did
he know he was too faced? I mean, other than
whoever he is. I've dated geminis. They suck. Just kidding.
I don't like, but I'm I'm sure no, no, no, yeah.
But I will say I did go on a date

(52:03):
once where this guy was like, oh, so something about astrology.
I go, oh, yeah, yeah yeah, and I started talking
about me and he goes, oh, you're not one of
those smart girls who believes in magic, are you? And
I was like, in my head immediately went you'll never
touch my naked butt. It okay, well that is trash
and what does that even mean? Okay, brother, you know,

(52:24):
let's take a quick break because I'm going to stew
now that guy b r B Benna's credit card didn't
work on the Okay, perfect br and we're back funk
that guy and his credit card. My credit card got declined. Yesterday,

(52:46):
I tried to get a car wash. I tried to
go through the car wash, and I was bawling out
because there's three different prices at the car wash, you know,
And I said, give me the most expensive one. That's
what I said to the guy. It was twelve bucks.
I gave him, and my card didn't like, didn't read,
you know, should happens. I gave him two more cards,
none of them read, and then I'm like, what is happening.

(53:09):
They're like it doesn't work. And I'm like, you have
to admit to me that your machine is not great.
Just that's all I want. Just admit to me that.
He's like, not use your cards. And I'm like, I'm
gonna take this card and I'm gonna go to the
A t M. And I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna
get money out and I'm gonna come back here and
pay me. He's like great, And I did that. And
then I came back and he's like, what, your card

(53:31):
worked at the A t M. But it didn't work here.
He said why is that? And I said, I cannot
talk to you about this anymore. I have nothing to
say to you. I don't know. Wash my car and
then now it's clean. Anyway, Sorry about the story. Everyone know,
when people don't apply customer service to a job that

(53:51):
entails customer service, nothing irritates me. It's like, it's so
funny because that guy has a job that requires he
used the self service machine for people. Because it's so finicky,
you know, like that's the only thing he does. And
he wouldn't admit that the machine was finnicky. Can't can't

(54:12):
throw that machine under the bar. It's COVID time. He's
gotta everything's gotta work like black Or let's tell you what.
My fucking car go to Melrose car wash. My car
is sparkling. Why they can't take my card? You suggest? Okay?
Just for her boy? Yeah, okay. So um James is

(54:37):
like this crew pours me to death and I just
want someone I can like break the rules with. And
I'm like, oh, you should have been cast in season seven.
Bro your season late? Good luck or vander Pump. Can
I just ask you all a question right now? Is
Bachelorette this season incredible? It's pretty good? No, you don't
like it? Okay. I was very happy for Claire. I

(55:01):
was like, good, I'm going to get an adult woman.
The amount of times they brought up her age, just
like the Oldest Bachelors, the oldest Bachelor, Yeah, so close
that her she's there. Yeah, And anyway, I don't think
we had to keep bringing it up. But then, as

(55:22):
much as I liked her, because I've watched her in
Bachelor in Paradise and everything, and I felt she deserved it.
She fucking blew it and then got engaged. That snore,
that fucking snooze. And then we bring Tajia, who wasn't
one of my favorites anyway, and now she smiles too much. Yeah,
I love because she's so chill compared to every other

(55:42):
person we've ever had on this show. All I saw
was like the first part of the dinner where they
got engaged, but they said that they hadn't even been
on a one on one day. But they got engaged
and left the show, and they hadn't been on one
single day. You've ever seen the show before? It's low
key nonsense. I only watched The Beach Oh Paradise and

(56:11):
or the Winter Game. Yeah, well I watched it. I
just I don't like the show, you know, I don't
like the formal show, but I love their you know versions.
I didn't like the music. One was stupid. But did
you like Bachelor Path a while ago? Yeah? But I

(56:34):
will say we did glaze over as a Claire bachelorette.
How very claire are you? How she was engaged to
the French dude from Winter Game? I think she only
said yes to him because she felt bad in the
moment when he proposed that. After the final Rows probably
said like, no, Ben, please stand up. There was no

(56:59):
Batch Summer Verge this year because of COVID, But then um,
I think Hulu put on the Australian one from last
year like at the start of the summer and it
was like, incredible, we'll watch this, but it was unwatchable.
I didn't know who they were and I did. Y'all
see that. Now, that's the thing. If I can't be
emotionally tied to someone, That's why this next Bachelor, Mike

(57:23):
is not a Mike who's been on the show. He
was supposed to be on clear season and then they
made him the Bachelorette because he got popular because he
was on doing TikTok's and ship with Hannah Brown and Tyler.
So I'm not excited about it because I don't I
would rather have had a different guy from a season
that was actually had. You know, yeah, well TikTok, let's

(57:49):
all right, it's the next day on this goddamn boat.
They didn't go out and party. What's even the point?
So Shane Man, Shane is I let's get into it.
So he can't figure out that he's supposed to be
on deck at an exact time, and he's like brushing
his teeth with his Reef safe toothpaste for like an hour.

(58:09):
He's a goddamn fool, just him being like, I'm gonna
stand up to Eddie. He's like, hey, ed do you
like I don't appreciate the sarcasm, And then Eddie's like, well,
get over it because that's who I am. I'm Eddie.
And then it's just like this is just bro Eddie.
I have something to say to you, Like I saw
you use a plastic straw throw and I'm like, I

(58:33):
brought some paper straws. And also like I think like
you were using the sponges you were using were coral free.
Coral free you col right what? I just thank god
they were coral free. I feel like James North Shane,
the two newest of people in the field, don't know

(58:57):
that they're working. Like, although I am surprised every time
to see James kind of like no chat and just
doing a ship hard, but like he thinks he's on
holiday and Shane's meditating Welcome to He's trying to get all.
He's like, this is the life, man, I'm just trying
to find my purpose for the day, and it's like,

(59:18):
get to fucking work. But I've definitely had those jobs
where like, you know, I knew you get there and
you're like I'm this way and they're like we need
you to be this way, and you're like count down
to me being fired. You let me know I'm gonna
be over here on my phone. Yeah. Well, I think
if the editors to me that they should play a

(59:40):
fun game with Shane personally, Like I would have produced
Shane to be like every moment doing something new age,
like staging himself. Like every time they bring up his name,
he's staging himself. Or he's like charging a crystal, or
he's like seeing a shaman and he's on the boat. Yeah,
that's so funny, Like a Shaman's come on, hi, I'm

(01:00:02):
here to see You're like support. Yeah, he's like, I
actually an appointment and they're like you need you need
to be wiping the boat down. He's like five minutes. Yo.
I think I need to add another spinoff to my
list of spinoffs, and that is Below Deck, a Renee

(01:00:26):
Gotier production. Oh please, please yes, Like you know, it's
like when you know Quentin Tarantino comes in and directs
for an episode. Yeah, that would be incredible, that would
be like who It's like, trust us, she's the best.

(01:00:48):
Talk to Cavalery. Talked to Cavalery. We promise. Actually we
get a new stew and her name is Ashley. She's
from austro Elia. Of course, James is only thoughts are
she's fit, and immediately asks if she's single, but then
she's like no, and then she's like just kidding and
I'm like, wait, are you single? I don't know. I

(01:01:09):
don't even get it, okay, and then as says, she
got into yachting because she just had to get out
of Australia and she has twelve months of experience and
her last chief, Stu, was an asshole, and she thinks
Francesca seems awesome and that they're going to get along well.
And I'm always like, oh, she's gonna treat you poorly. Wow.

(01:01:30):
She did hug her when she cried, but that's like
because she just got there. But like you know, every
time they're like I think we're going to get along,
You're like, she's gonna push you off the boat and
leave you behind. But this episode felt like a full
shift and I think someone we brought this up gently earlier,
a pretty energetic shift for Elizabeth. Since she got bumped up,

(01:01:51):
she got her strip right, she seems like she's all
of a sudden going to be a problem. Yeah, well
it seems like when Francesca uh so yes is he
moves in to deck, we got ash now, Francesca like,
I feel like prematurely promoted Elizabeth two second st Yeah.
I was like, it happened so quickly, and I was like,

(01:02:13):
this bitch can barely iron anything on time. Like it's
like when you're introduced to stage and you get like
the most incredible applause and you're like, I'm sorry, it's
not gonna be that good. Yeah. Yeah, Like five seconds later, no,
right before she gets promoted, she gave Captain Lee like

(01:02:33):
a damp uniform top, like that's right to me. That
screams promote her. Did you see that little sick of fan, Eddie,
that little fucking butt suck ubus. Captain Lean was like
the same as that my shirt, it's all in all wet,
And then Eddie's like, oh yeah, did you get a
wet shirt. Let me let me touch it. He touches

(01:02:54):
his shirt really intimate moment, and he goes. Then Eddie goes,
oh yeah that is damp. The fu shut up dude,
and then he doesn't bite it. Oh my god, Yeah
that's Eddie. Eddie loves Captain Lee, and Captain Lee loves

(01:03:15):
what like a fucking idiot Eddie is. I think he's
always like Eddie Scott. He's always doing jokes. You're like, yes,
thank you, Captain Lee's your insight. Cut to Eddie taping
his room. Are you okay, sir? Are you okay? I
love you father? Yeah, somebody I thought he was taping

(01:03:37):
his own ribs because Captain Lee was so funny that
he heard his lip ribs laughing. He just wants to
be just like Captain Lee. So he's like, I heard
my ribs too, Captain Lee, I cracked my rib laughing.
Or Dassie over a text shout out Drew Brees, Oh
well okay, so is he is now rooming with James

(01:03:59):
so Ash doesn't have to And she's like, as long
as he cleans the wink off the shower walls and
then everything will be fine. And I have never thought
of that as a concept that there's cheez all over
our shower walls. Now I'm upset, my boyfriend, it's normal.

(01:04:20):
Do you hose it down? No? I don't come in
the shower. Here's what I don't. Okay, this is a
little about me. Anyone wants to know about ahead. I
don't come standing up, okay, Like because you can't, or
because it's like it's hard fast rule. It's not a rule,

(01:04:43):
it's just the way it is. I don't know. I've
never been able to masturbate standing up. Okay, okay, I
need to be very comfortable. That's funny. And I don't
like to say you don't do standing nests. You don't

(01:05:06):
come standing up here A big sick guy. Oh all right,
all right. The new guests arrive and Captain Lee this
is one of his favorite is ms, which is I've
got ties older than them. You should. I was thinking
about it too. He's like, hey, Captain leeh shall we

(01:05:29):
check I d S? And I'm like, you fucking fucking
narc dudes. Shut up. I can get my photographer Malia
in here to come take some pictures of their bags,
send them to Captain Sandy. Even though she's not on
the boat. I do actually have a question it raised
that raised a question for me, um, which is do

(01:05:50):
the card anyone on this boat to drink or I'm
sure they all have to have their passports. Yeah, yeah,
they're paperwork on paperwork. Yeah, there's got to be. It's
not just because it's the television show, but also because
say there's no television show involved. They have to cover
their ass as a yacht company aggressively. Although we don't

(01:06:15):
know the drinking age in some of the ports, right,
like could change. Well, I'm sure there's like a universal
for the yacht company no matter where they are or whatever. Yeah,
or nothing, everything goes in the sea goes because there

(01:06:35):
has to be someone who is an adult renting the yacht.
So you can leave it up to whoever that person is. Yeah, right,
Like a rental car, Yeah yeah, if you want to
give your six year old a bottle full of whiskey
in a rental car, that is on you. I don't
work in the rental car. I work in the store.

(01:06:57):
Yeah I can't be there. Yeah. Yeah. We've had twenty
to thirty minutes straight to this show where she does
not listen to a word I say yea quite correctly.
It's it's very popular. Yeah yeah, yeah, we need a

(01:07:18):
we need a ringtone, or you need like a button
for the show that just has anna, yeah, a perfect rest.
I don't need it personally because I hear it every
time there's no sound. Yeah yeah, Okay, I looked it
up and apparently it is base it is one and up.

(01:07:40):
But I don't believe it. I don't believe whatever this
bullshit article says about maritime law. Okay, so one of
the girlfriends in the main primary is hard to say
which Dax or Max? Who cares? She's literally screaming that
the other couple one the master bedroom on the boat
through a beer pong challenge. Yes, I've never been more

(01:08:03):
distraught in that moment. I was like, shut her up.
I don't know, because she's so annoying when she says it,
and then she says it twice in a row, like
we didn't hear it the first time. I never needed
to hear the word the words beer punk challenge. Just
shut up. Look on these reality shows, and this may

(01:08:26):
be a little inside baseball, but yes, on these reality shows,
half of them aren't actors, right, so they're getting produced
in some way to react. It's like when you if
you've ever watched like an HDTV show and they're like
forcing these people to talk, It's like no, no, no,
tell us, why do it? When you get on cameras
and again they're acting exactly and so it's like you're annoying.

(01:08:51):
She's annoying, and she they brought her to another level
just for that's clear, and it's just yeah, yeah, but
it's like so many people suck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well anyway,
maybe your boyfriend should be better at beer pot, you
dumb bitch. When I get up to those early gates

(01:09:14):
and St. Peter says, do you deserve to be in here?
What did you do on Earth? And I'll say I
made fun of below deck, dude, and they will say enter,
I wouldn't say there doing impressions. Uh, this is actually hell. Goodbye,
welcome to Minoko Mioko. Yeah that actually I just remembered

(01:09:43):
Ash who Okay, so apparently Ash has been traveling for
like thirty hours straight to get there and has to
go straight to work. But like they lost her luggage.
That's a bummer, dude. She doesn't need it. She needs
four shirts. Her whites or blues and her but her
underwears yoder Yeah, her deoderant, her her highlighter. She's not

(01:10:04):
getting makeup done. She's a cam there, which makes me think,
how do they get your luggage back to you if
you're on a boat that's constantly moving around? Like that
sucks productions handily, I hope, but very good point for
real life. Yeah, you're production. It is the dumbest p

(01:10:25):
a on the shoot that's working on it. Yeah. Well,
Ash is already like so overwhelmed with everything going on.
And again, why we promoted Elizabeth too soon? She's like
already pushing her duties off on Ash being like, you
just need to wash and iron all this, which is
technically her job. But good, I mean, good luck you
promoted her. So have fun with that, Francesca. And then

(01:10:48):
we do learn something very interesting that I took note of,
which is apparently citrus stains marble. I did learn that
as well. And I was a bartender, although I never
but I didn't know that sense when my parents are
always like yelling at me growing up. Oh, I mean

(01:11:08):
I'm Persian, so yeah kind of. I mean, wasn't my
parents spent a lot of the money on marble. Okay,
what I like is a sentence I'll never be able
to say. Was when I was a kid, I was
always working with the marble. We don't have no marble, yeah,

(01:11:28):
just in the kitchen. And I was always in trouble
being in the kitchen. I can't remember a single rule
about marble in my home either. And I'm gonna tell you, like,
there's marble somewhere, just like a try being Persian. Everything
is made out of gold. So I've literally literally stubbed

(01:11:49):
my toe and broken it. Holy sh it, is Captain
Lee Persian. Probably Captain Ly wishes he was Persian. I mean,
who doesn't right, don't know? I mean, if you know,
if you're a man, step up, or if you're a doctor, yeah,

(01:12:10):
if you're at And I'll tell you what I don't like. Consequences.
Where should I go? Don't go? Don't not? My parents
bid least it is probably bad for no consequences. Yeah, no,
my parents are all about consequences about everything. Really, Oh
my good. Do you know any time my mom has
been like, oh, yeah, I threw your shoes away because

(01:12:30):
you left them in front of the door, shoes out
of the trash can, because I left them out. Literally,
my house has to my parents house has to be
spotless at all times. You cannot leave anything out. My
mom's like, what's what's this. I have to be like,
oh my god, I don't it's my jacket. I just
put it down for a second. They're like, well, there's
a closet. You're like, I love. My dad died when

(01:12:55):
I was a kid, so my mom never remarried. So
we got to wait with them. I hate to dream,
can tell you how much. And yeah, that's the dream
to get away with whatever, not the father dying part.
That's I'm sorry I did mean the other thing, but

(01:13:17):
all right, we know what you meant, but I knew
what she meant. Look, coronavirus almost got him, but my
dad got almost got killed by coronavirus. But hardcore was
like good bye, and I was like wait. Also, he
didn't tell me until he tested positive and was like
in the midst of it that he had it because

(01:13:37):
that's how Persian parents also rolled, like, by the way,
this is where the gold is that fisor vaccines basically
just his blood, I hope. So but we're really looking
to maderna baby. Okay, So um, yeah, oh okay, this
was mon Okay. They get this is the most interesting

(01:13:59):
part to me of this entire episode. They get this
sushi model to the boat okay, And I'm like, what
an interesting career? How do you get into sushi modeling?
I don't even understand, Like, maybe she's just a model.
And they're like, here's some gig opportunities you can do,
which is laying on a table while people dead. Odd
model now from a boat she got respond to nothing.

(01:14:23):
I really appreciate it if someone could ask if she
was dead. Yeah, well all of that happened. I used
to dance at bar Mitzvah's and I used to do
a lot of extravagant parties. And there's a company that
offers models who surf food on their body. There's a
niche for everything. But that's the same way again, but

(01:14:45):
this is you know, she instead of stripping many slashes?
Do you think you have to get to on your
business card before it says naked sushi model? You know, actor, singer, dancer, writer,
sushi model. Well I think he was a model and
not what's number one? It's she's just a model, And

(01:15:10):
then underneath it's like we'll work with food. Incredible. Is
that all right? What do we got? How much? How
much have we got here? Yeah? We gotta and we
got wrap this up? Okay, well whatever we learned, okay.
Rachel is also giving me like horse girl vibes because
she's like studied cooking all over the world. She's like,
and I studied in Japan and I learned to make sushi.
And you have to drink all night with your boss

(01:15:32):
because it's rude. You can't leave. And I'm like, okay,
we get it, Rachel. And if you brush his hair
a thousand times, he turns into a man. Just to
remind her, Rachel left her purse sitting out at an
airport and got robbed. Like this girl, if you're so traveled,
basic rules, you don't leave your purse sitting out. Fucking Rachel. Yeah,

(01:15:56):
Rachel's got some interesting vibes. I can tell. She's again
a too king time bomb and we are really going
to see her lose her mind. So naked sushi model,
she's such a professional, like you said, she acts dead
on the table. James literally doesn't know what to do
with himself, like he I took a bunch of screenshots
of him, just like staring dead eyed, like not sure,
like he cannot act if there's a naked woman sitting

(01:16:19):
on table, like he is fucked up. He's like short circuited.
Just immediately he's like he starts listen, she's fit that
sushi officials, Did you guys notice her feet? The sushi
model and I'm not talking about the positioning of her
feet were like almost like she was so tense and

(01:16:41):
so scared. Check that out. Her feet look they look mummified.
Oh my god, her teeth, her feet are weird. I
I think you become rigor mortis and moments like that.
That's what I think. That's what she looked. Oh she's dead.

(01:17:03):
She's like definitely doing some breathing exercises, some acting exercises
she learned. You know that you have to learn a
Disney world to be one of the characters. She's not
even blinking, like she's staring straight up at the ceiling
and she is not moving. I didn't even know she
was breathing. She is literally acting dead. And I don't
know if they train you to like slow your breathing

(01:17:24):
down like in your panic. She's really good, you know,
I mean, and that girl is dead. Wow, what a
fun experience. Yeah. Well, also Rachel comes out and it's
like so upset that these guests don't care how good
the fish is. Like she's like, okay, well this me
always wasted on these people, like the tone, not the toe,

(01:17:46):
not melts in your mouth. Like it's like, okay, dude,
what do you want? You don't want them to be mad,
you don't want them to beet. The this is amazing,
Rachel Chel you're a Jane. Yes, I feel like I
related to her in that moment, not not proudly, but like,
do you ever do a set and you're like, that

(01:18:07):
was a great set And then you're like standing near
the exit not on purpose, but it's happened, and nobody
and nobody like gives you the accolade you know you need.
You're like, I cry. I've never personally experienced that, you know,
I always get that, but but I've seen it half
of other people that I do know, I do know
they seem devastated. Well, it's like that thing where you're like,

(01:18:29):
that's the perfecute? Hell have you charged? Does anyone asked
me about the eil? I hand shaved it with my
fund and a technique Yapan. That's right, we call it yapant.
People don't. Yeah, my little guy loves I like it
when someone um compliments the comedian that you're standing next

(01:18:50):
to and then notices you and goes and you too.
You were so funny that joke about you know, the
rabbit like that. My wife and I were saying, that's
like the fun he's joke. Oh and you were funny. Bye, guys,
Or if you were the host and they don't get that,
you're also yeah, keep keep going, keep you keep going, guys.

(01:19:15):
Being a stand up sounds miserable. Well, coronavirus is the
best thing that ever happened to me. I'm not even kidding. Well,
let's end this episode. It ends with Eddie telling Captain
Lee that he needs helpe because Shane is going to
get someone killed because he has some incident where he
can't seem to get the tender line to tie. I
don't know that was dramatic. Yeah, I was like, this

(01:19:36):
is fine, Everything's gonna end up fine, like all moments
on this show, unless it's like Ashton being pulled off
the boat to his potential death, which I you know,
in retrospect, I felt bad in the moment, but after
seeing him in season seven, I'm like, well then whatever.
So Francesca tells as she has to be up early,
and ashe starts crying from exhaustion, and that's where the

(01:19:58):
episode ends. Fact. Oh, it's time for boat facts with
Nikki tease. We all know it's time for both facts
on the Mastery of boat facts. Get your merchant public now, guys,
we all know that boats they float on what water? Water?
That's right. I found a rancor list for the top

(01:20:19):
ten bottled water brands. Now I'm gonna give you each
the opportunity to guess five brands of bottled water. If
between you you get the top five bottled water brands
on rancor dot com. Right now, I will reveal the
project that the celebrity that my friend produced and was

(01:20:42):
disappointed they were no longer friends. I will give you
the project that that person got famous from twenty three
years ago. All right, now, you guys can go one
at a time. Anna give me one of the most
popular water brand? Yes on Rancor the best, smart best,
not most popular, the best. To ask people, what are

(01:21:03):
the best? You said, smart water? That is number one?
It is yes, Renee, that is number two. Anna, Oh,
Aquafina that is number four, Renee Essentiam Hannah, uh, I

(01:21:26):
legit can't remember any hold on Essentia is eighteen by
the way. Okay, so it's it's on the list, but
but very love. Oh, what's the one with the mountains? Evian? No,
Evian is tenne Vos number three, Voss, y'all got one

(01:21:51):
more Anna? Oh shit, oh Icelandic No, Icelandic is not mine.
Renee Arrowhead No, Arrowhead is sixteen. Y'all got one more
guests each, Anna Perry do they make still? Uh? Perry

(01:22:15):
is fourteen. Renee. I'm gonna say to Sanny, but my
heart wants to say Topo Chico. Sani is eight. Topo
Chico is who the fuck knows? Y'all got it wrong.
I'll say it anyway. The project was that seventies show.
It probably means nothing. And uh that's it. Aquafina and

(01:22:40):
Poland spring spring everybody, I drink poland spring every day.
I got you in life. It's an East Coast thing.
It's just that's what you drink in New York. Anyway,
that's our show, Renee, thank you so much for being here.
We couldn't thank you more. Thank you for having me.
People know where they can find you and follow you.

(01:23:02):
Um Instagram at name Gooder. Uh. Come on. Instagram and
Twitter are both at n at nai. Uh. Yeah, that's it.
They can face time check out right to the producers
that they need to do a female version. Yeah, I

(01:23:25):
mean they do. I'm going to write it this week. Perfect.
You can follow us at deckheads Pod on Instagram and Twitter,
and email us at deckheads Pod at gmail dot com.
I'm at Anna hosting Nick Is at Nick's Turners. If
you're enjoying this nonsense, so please leave us a five
star review on Apple iTunes and let us know what
cool guests you want us to have on Also by

(01:23:48):
our merch at tea public link in bio. You know
how that crap works? Google it. That's it, all right, guys,
Everyone hop into this tiny little boat. We're out of here.
By m HM. Deckheads is a production of I Heart Radio.

(01:24:08):
For more podcasts for my heart Radio, visit the I
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