Season 8, Episode 5 with Arden Myrin

Anna and Nick are joined by Arden Myrin to talk season 8, episode 5 of Below Deck.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Deckheads, a production of IR Radio. Welcome to
Deckheads with your hosts Nick and Anna, broadcasting from the
bottom of the boat below below deck. Whoa horny all
yacht talk all the time, I'm having a party. We're

(00:21):
shoveling cold to keep this show afloat. I love cocaine.
We're off the map in international waters. I need some trama.
Me hide that cocaine. Never in my nose. Shut see
you know I'm in an open relationship below deck wo

(00:44):
me deckheads. Hey, Nick and h have you been? Oh? Lovely,
lovely lovely. I always look forward to these chats, the
first two minutes of the show, where we really get
to know each other. There. Yep. Now you love your parents? Right?

(01:05):
Did you say? I live with my parents? You love them?
That's the only one. That's the only thing our audience
knows that you have a hard relationship with your parents.
They don't listen, so it doesn't matter. Yeah, they'll never listen.
They don't care. Yeah, I do definitely have a It's
not that I have a tough relationship with my parents.
I have a tough relationship with my father. Uh my

(01:27):
mom is pretty checked out. Healthy. Your mom sounds great.
Checked out. That's as good as you can hope for
in a parrot. Yeah, I mean, what what did I expect?
You know, I should have known better. I gotta stop
expecting so much. But yes, I'm certainly sorry I started

(01:47):
the show with this topic. Well, I hope one day
to move on. Uh no, no, no, you started. We
have to stay in this space for the rest of
the episode. All right, let's get him on the phone
to get some context. Which why we wouldn't need to
get them on the phone is that I'm at my
parents house this week, so we're um. The the sound

(02:09):
effects are gonna be a bit of a ship choke
because I'm gonna be forcing our engineers, Zach to do
the sound effects. So I'll be like, now hit this,
and he may or may not hit it. I'm glad
you everybody up top, because I mean, how confused the
people who come here for the sound effects? You know
they you don't want them to be surprised? No, and

(02:31):
that most we always get those messages like I don't
even watch the show or care. I'm just you guys talk. Yeah,
just fast forward to the sound effects. Wow, Yeah, wouldn't
that be sad? Um, okay, well it's another episode of
Deckheads with Nick Nanna. We are talking below deck Season

(02:51):
A episode five Boom if you will for my German listener.
Shout out to the German listeners of Deckheads, Um foom
is five in Journey as Dope as Hell. Thank you, Nick.
I know we have another great guest for this episode.

(03:12):
This this person, dare I say, is my soul sister.
I spend of my day talking to her. Honestly, most
of the time we're just being like, uh so, uh yeah.
I don't know that we're not talking about much sometimes,
but we we keep our we keep the dialogue moving
at all times. Now, this person, they host a wonderful

(03:36):
podcast that I also produced called Will You Accept This
Rose about the Bachelor franchise, and that really gives you
a sense that this person knows what they're doing when
they're recapping reality shows. That's why they're going to be
such a great guest. This person. You may have seen
them on the hit Netflix show Insatiable. You may have
seen them on Shameless, which is on Showtime. Yes, I

(03:59):
almostad Netflix as well. You may have seen I mean, honestly,
you've seen this person guest star on all your favorite shows,
including Gray's Anatomy, which she had a very funny little
guest spot. Hey, if you're like older and you are
a big sketch TV fan, maybe you remember her from
older Older. Well, I don't know, like this got too long. Older,

(04:24):
I mean, like, you know, I feel like I will
talk to like, Okay, let's just okay, Art and Marina
is here. Anna, it's my friend, and I am not
chicks out, but I do understand you live with your
parents and I'm here. I came. I came for this.
I will say. I have spoken to like younger people
and been like, well, what did you like mors Nell

(04:45):
and mad TV? And they'll be like, I only know
S and L And I'm like, how do you not
know what mad TV is? So I feel like it's
my generations, like knows what mad TV is? Fair up
to be fair, I'd never seen one episode when I
got passed on Mad TV. So I get it. I
get it. I had to quickly. I didn't get Fox.

(05:06):
I didn't my town did not have that good observice.
What year did bad TV debut? I don't know. I
was on the last four years? Was it like ninety three?
I have no idea. I remember I was on a
two thousand six to two thousand, Okay, I remember um

(05:26):
when I was fifteen, I saw like in the paper,
like new shows that were airing, and I was a
big Mad Magazine fan. And you know, you remember when
you didn't have any lead up to information ever, like
you just when something was fully cooked. They'd be like
the turkey's done, and here it is. You know about

(05:47):
it for a year and a half. So I remember,
like saw in the paper that was like this month
starting my favorite magazine at a TV show, and I
was I blown away and I was so excited. That's
that's a different angle for Anna. I wanted to watch
it because I also loved Mad Magazine. I loved S
five versus Spy Don't kid Yourself, And I was sad

(06:10):
to not be able to watch it. Who was it?
Was it? Michael McDonald, Alex Borstein, Nicole So yeah, I
don't think I can. Is that the Orlando Orlando Artie
Lang that was like the first and Michael McDonald. Michael McDonald,

(06:32):
I mean that's a pretty good everybody's had cool careers.
It's interesting. I was on during like Key and Peel,
like Baron Holt. Michael was still there. Yeah, and then
those terrible careers and Peeling what are they doing now?
What is Jordan Peel doing now? And our baby boy

(06:54):
Matt Braunger right is that? But he was on the
last year he came and went, you know, Michael last
for the last like the very last season. Michael left
and they brought in Wronger I think, to be like tall,
a goofy guy, and he was great. You know, he
actually kind of had it easier because a lot of
the big guns were gone. Like it's hard on a

(07:15):
sketch show when you have people that have been on this.
That's what's interesting about a sketch show. It's like when
you're getting fit into a machine that has been ongoing,
and so there's all these recurring characters that have been
going on for years, and then you've got like celebrities
that's so that's so there's like one or two spots
left that everyone else's fight. You're describing the stand up

(07:38):
comedy scene. Celebrities get it all, and then there's people
who have been doing it forever that it's like there's
one left. There's like you're right, you're booking a lineup,
there's like, all right, this kid's nice open three stars
to all, like, come on, Michael Longfellow. I didn't realize
Tarn kill him. He's gonna be a start both Saturday

(08:00):
Night Live and Matt Toby. I didn't think you were
allowed to do that. Yeah, he was the only person
I think that has ever There was a Jeff Richards
did both. But I don't think Lauren Michaels knew he
had been on Mad TV when he cast him, and
then I don't know, I this rumor, like and I
just think it's probably just people because everybody loves to

(08:20):
guess about Laura Michael's I think people thought that when
Lauren knew it was that he was on my TV.
That and like I had like a stink, you know
that it probably didn't help him at SNL. But Tarn
has done it and thrived. Remember he was like a
teenager when he did Mad TV and then it wasn't
when I was there. He was before me, but he
was like a teenager. And then they let him go

(08:43):
even though he was just adorable, funny teenager. And then
I think he went through the ground Lens. I think
he went through the Sunday Company and like got the
training and then became like a main stage member and
like actually like got cast on SNL, which is so cool. Wow. Yeah,
there should be a no double dipping. You can't do
the other. That's crazy. When people are good at something

(09:07):
at nineteen, like on such a hye level. I don't
feel like I was ready for a single job until
I was thirty. I mean I was on a sitcom
at twenty two. I have to say I could do that.
I could. I was a good, reliable like if I
was doing your stuff, I could do that. But psychologically,

(09:31):
sketch shows are so hard. It's so competitive, it's so
gnarrowly and if you don't have like the resources within
yourself to be able to deal with having to generate
your own material, deal with the politics, like not get
knocked down if you're not getting your sketches on and
stuff like that. I would not have been able to
handle that before thirty. Yeah. I can't imagine that. Oh

(09:53):
and I will not because it will give me anxiety,
you know what, You're right. I used to pack up
screaming every or the week before we went back into taping.
I don't imagine me it was like all of like
the Trouble of SNL with none of the vanity fair covers.
Oh boy, it was brutal, brutal, really hard hard. I

(10:17):
think that very well encompasses what this show is, which
is brutal. Yeah. It's a hard job that no one
can do perfectly. It's just impossible. Yes, yes, yes, I
have to say. Let me just say so happy to
come talk below Deck with you. I am new. This
is my first year. I started, I guess in January.

(10:39):
I watched below. Last season's Below Deck with Ashton was awful.
I started off sweet and then he was so I
started season seven, and then I watched this season of
Sailing Yacht and then I was I was on watching
It Happens Live with Chef Adam. Janna was there, Jenna
was there in the audience when they were dating still,

(11:00):
and then I watched Captain Sandy. I first met it
love Captain Sandy. And this is my second blow Deck.
And I have to say that I've never been to
the Caribbean. It looks beautiful, but I've never been to
Thailand either, And I'm like the locale last time seem
more glamorous with Captain Lay. Yeah, well, during Antigua. Now

(11:21):
I've never been to Antique. If I've actually been to
some of the islands they used to go to before
Hurricane Maria kind of ravaged well Thailand. Thailand has the
benefit of being farther away from the United States. So
but if you're if you're like a vacation destination close
to the US, it's ruined. It's been ruined. You have

(11:42):
brought in fake coral already because they have n their
boots on top of it and tied them together again.
I'm so like fresh to this world. I know you
guys have been on a bender, so I know you
didn't start that long for j too, but you've seen
so I want to know that I support you. I

(12:03):
know you've seen more than me. I'm going to tell you.
I find this cast doesn't understand that they're on TV.
This cast, it's like, we're not here for fun. It's like, well, then,
why is their camera crew in here? You are here
for fun? Why aren't you trying to hook up? Why
aren't you getting hammered? Like I don't need it as

(12:23):
hammered to smashed in, But like these are all these
are all attractive people. Can't there be something like dry
humping on the leto deck, like what's happening? These are
all good questions. You got to think what was gonna
be the story of the guy who left first episode?
Was he? You know, like, what was the plan for him?

(12:44):
Maybe he was like the bot st and we just
never got to it. Yeah, right. I have to say
Francesca seems like a perfectly fine chiefs too, but like
after the tablescapes of Bugsy and Kate, ultimately I know
everybody loves Kate. Kate got to be so bitchy that like,

(13:08):
I never saw Bugsy be awful to people. I have not.
I didn't see that season. All I saw was Bugsy
come on and be kind of cool. This year on
blow Deck, Med I thought she was a really great
chief stew who knew how to be fun. Was on it.
She made magic. Like Francesca is perfectly fine, but there's
no razzles. I don't see that extra insane razzle dazzle

(13:30):
magic party planner that I love for my chief stews.
I am loving the chef so much and I would
like more of her. Rachel, Yes, Rachel's great, so Bugs
is great. I have my own personal issues with bugs
and the amount of things she wears all over her body.
I think it's too much distracting for it's a lot
of barrettes. And then also like she'll take like a

(13:53):
a like a sich. I can never say, seashell, a
seashell the size of her hand and put a tiny
little chain on it and wear it as a necklace.
And I'm like, it's too much accessorizing, too much. Her
accessorizing hinted, and yet I'm here for it a little.
If you think she's not wearing any accessories, asked her

(14:14):
about it, and she's like, no, I'm wearing this boat.
I relived her with the guy that had a crush
on her. I thought that was so cute. That was cute.
They were really cute. He wasn't into it. He wasn't either.
I fell into it. He liked her big teeth and
big eyes. I just kid, Wow, you're just a hater. Now.

(14:39):
Her instagram really turns me off. She's doing too much.
What is her I haven't looked at her instagram. What's
what's happening on the Instagram. It's just too much. It's
just too curated. There's too many photos, shoots, everything is
too much, it's too pretty. There's no personality in it.
I can't figure out all these influencers, Like how do

(15:01):
they all know so many good photographers the pandemic? How
does everybody get so many really cool photos of themselves?
Like how many photos should I? I I don't get it.
I don't get like we're in a pandemic, Like she's
not loaded, you know, like she's not like who takes
all these pictures? I don't get it. Maybe it's like

(15:24):
photographer does a favor and they get like some for
you and then some for me, and then they have
to do nudity. Okay, okay, a little old school some
for you, so for me. Yeah, I saw it imposed
the last season. Yeah, okay, so very old school. It's
interesting to see the like how ready for their influencer

(15:47):
close up? A lot of people are ready to go,
you're ready to go? And look. I try to make
my feed pretty and I look at it and I
think I should post the thing of like an object.
I don't want to do it. I try. I don't know.
I'm like, all right, I'm gonna post about somebody else.
I'm gonna post about trying to do people place thing

(16:07):
or like what, I'm just trying, Like I would never
have invented. I don't know how people are so good
at it. Maybe you feel the same way I feel
where I'm like, if social media never happened, I would
I would be I would. I don't know more would
have happened for me. I get that. Yeah, they learned

(16:30):
too much about me. They learned what I wasn't good at,
and that's Twitter and Instagram. And I'm sorry. That's the
thing because you also see the people who got rewarded.
I mean, I feel like the four. The first person
of this was Dane Cook saw an opening like my Space, right,
wasn't my speaking of my space? The only celebrity in

(16:52):
my space? He figured it out like if he has
a gallon bucket, I wish I just had a little
drop of ink, which just like a little I up
of Like, look, this is the deal just given to
I tried because it's reality of what it is, but
it's not my I grew up in a very small
New England town where like your dickhead if you're talking

(17:14):
about yourself, but it feels braggy. Yeah, well below deck
is kind of like a weirder. These people are like
they're hard workers. Well most of them are. Some you
learn are just useless. They're hard workers. So I feel
like they go into everything like a hundred percent. So
like when they come in here, they're like, I'm gonna
be whatever stew, I'm gonna do this, and then I'm

(17:35):
gonna use my following and I'm gonna like yeah, like
basically what Buggsy did. She's like an influencer. Now. Kay
has turned her whole career into truly like hosts that
chat show, which is not the greatest show, but you know,
she really she got the lip injections. She ready, She's
built for it. She's been kind of like, I know,
I'm a bit. It's like that, like she knows her brand.

(17:57):
She was a pretty good chief stew except for how
horrible she was to the chef. And she's like good
at roasting. She'd be perfect for it. Yeah, last week's episode,
can we talk about the guests how hammered? Yes, let's
get into it. Let's get into it. Okay. Actually, so
I asked a few questions to start, which you already answered.
One which is when did you start watching Below Deck?

(18:18):
Which was January of the best year ever. I mean,
there's so many. Yeah, I'm so excited every Monday night.
And I was so excited when Mediterranean ended and I
thought they were out of episodes, and but I realized
that Regular Below Deck was coming back. I'm like, I
need it. I need real housewres in Salt Lake City.

(18:41):
I need Orange County right now, I need The Bachelor,
Like these are the things that I look forward to
in my week. So you started with season seven, but
out of seven, Sailing season one and what was it,
med season five? Those are the three you've watched so far.
Which was your favorite season? Okay, it's not Sailing yet.
I thought it was boring, even though I like Captain Glenn.

(19:04):
It was so boring and I thought that, but I thought, dude,
that that couple were that that couple that lived together
and he was like trying to fund the other lady.
Like all the couples were the worst, Like all three
were the worst. And they rob and going to Thailand
at the really just break up. And then you have

(19:26):
Cannon or Vade Pen and it's just and then the
awful chefs that they brought. Oh that's not Mediterranean was
the awful shof I'm gonna have to say, I think
my favorite one was season seven. I think that smashed in.
I think I got really tired of Jess and Rob
on Mediterranean. I found so I guess, I guess season seven.

(19:52):
I'm torn between Mediterranean season teven. What do you think
of those two Mediterraneans the best show? I love Men's
the best show. That's all there is to it. I
didn't like Sailing because I really hated the Jenna Adam
team up. It really bumms Jenna Adam and then the
awful couple that were already a couple. And he was like,
wasn't into her? Well, that's the thing Nick and I

(20:14):
were trying to figure out because it sounded like they
met when the girls. The timeline does not add up. Sir.
She was like, I don't like that. That made me
very uncomfortable. It just makes me feel sad when people
start dating the only person that they know and you're

(20:34):
a human man, and I turns out I leaned straight,
so you don't mind. I don't need to leave the
boat to find a wife. I didn't like that. And
they're still together, they're engaged. On the reunion, she was
just chugging wine. It was just like, I don't like
this the woman that he wanted to bone with her songs.

(20:56):
She's like every woman's worst nightmare, Like, let Georgia sexy Georgia.
Let me just she had that one song. Let me
just exactly you, Kallelea, and like put a thong on
and like harmonize with your boyfriend that thinks he has
a great voice. And so we'll do harmonies and I'll
see my tweet one song and he has like delusions

(21:21):
of himself being a performer. It was every girlfriend's worse nightmare.
Is like, have you met my coworker Gene? Yeah? Okay,
So my final question before we really get into this
episode is who has been your favorite cast member thus
far from what you've watched gosh Okay, so it's not

(21:41):
smashed in. It's not Kate who was on seven seven
was smashed in. Kate Tanner And there was a couple
that broke in Courtney and I felt like they gave
her a bad rap. I liked Courtney and I felt
like she was more capable and hate didn't give her
a chance. And it was also Simone who Courtney. Courtney

(22:05):
was the one who dated Brian and then Brian got
all like a gros South African dude on her, and
she was like, remember she was the one in the
actual in the san I like Simone. I felt like
Kate was hard on Simone. Um. I would say overall
favorite cast members okay, and then Mediterranean I like bugs

(22:27):
Bugs okay, I like Bugsy and I even like the
guy that had a crush on Bugsy. It's not Anna. Um. Yeah,
it's not gonna be any of the crazy chefs. I
would need to look at a grid who did you
like what? My all time favorite cast member is Aisha,
who comes in at the last half of season five

(22:47):
of MED, but she was in the whole season of
season four Med, and she's just the best. She was
the one that just thought she grabbed the ass. I mean,
she was fun and cool, but I could see Jess's point,
her insane manic point. I just felt she's so chill,

(23:08):
she doesn't care. Like season four, she was such a
good time and then like this season, it just she
immediately came in was like everyone sucks, just as like
out of control, like it was. She nailed it, and
then she was just unhappy the whole rest of the time,
which kind of made me sad for her. Yeah, yes,

(23:28):
Nick Turner, thank you for the time you said that
you're disappointed that no one is banging around in the boat. Now,
what relationships would you like to see? Who do we have?
We have sent so I feel like it's got to
be the guy that just sit ups. Yeah, we felt
we heard so many sad things about James. Oh my god. Guy,

(23:50):
he's the youngest of three. His brothers pummeled him. He
can't talk. Everything he says is wrong. He was called fat,
so he can't go to the gym enough to chase
the emons away from his head. Sexy is all he has. Yeah,
and he still thinks he's a piece of ship. I
want to give his soul a hug. I actually thought

(24:12):
Elizabeth talking to him and saying like, hey, you need
to be a little nicer to you, Like there was
a sweet moment there in the galley. I feel like
it would either be fun with him in this crazy
roommate with the camel toe, or I don't mind him
with Liz this very sweet probably dumb, probably because he's dumb,

(24:34):
she's dumb. He needs like he needs something and she's
got just a bunch of nothings that trigger something for him.
Her heart is in the right place. She's not the
sharpest nice, she has rocks in her head and her
Oh my god, I felt for her. I thought, I
thought I would like to see them hook up. And

(24:55):
I know he wants Francesca. He wants frances but it's
not not gonna happen. She's an adult woman. I feel
like him alive. Does Eddie have a girlfriend? Eddie is
kind of like Captain Lee, where he is trying to
exist above this show because he got in such hot
water last time that he was on this show with
Rocky for what he um started a sexual relationship in secret.

(25:19):
They would meet in the bathroom and laundry laundry room,
and and then she outed their Trist because he had
a girlfriend at the time, so she outed to everyone
to Trist and then he gasolt her for a while,
just being like it never happened, she's crazy, you're crazy.

(25:40):
You know she's a psycho and how did how did
it was all on film? This is like happening in
front of us, so we can all see it all right.
So he's he's like, so he's trying to be like
what I'm not outstanding young man like I see well
as a person who that's that makes him quite honestly
more entry staying as a character, because all I see

(26:02):
is like I know people from back home. We're like
working advertising. He's like, oh, Courton Cox is a verady markable. Look,
but I look at him, I'm like, is that vibe
of like, Okay, is that guy you know? Like? Oh
whoa if you're gonna put the rapper around the hold
tied to Okay, you got it. He's not. In my opinion,

(26:24):
he won. He thinks he's like a Jim Carrey type.
He loves doing impressions and making people laugh, which we
haven't been seeing as God, can you imagine anything worse
than dating? So you found out secretly? Love? Did you
Jim carry impressions? Like? Is there anything that's a bigger
male or lady boner killer than watching so many trying

(26:47):
to impersonage him. Okay, it's coming. I should find you
clips to show from past seasons what he did getting
hit up on bumble. When you tell people you're the
captain of a tug boat, that's not a conversation starter.
God in Baltimore, Maryland. Yeah, you want a tug I'm

(27:08):
the captain of all right, let's let's start going through
this episode. Okay, Hey, Sharon Stone, its Eddie. What do
I do? No, I'm not in the entertainment television you
can find me, but I am also the captain of
a tug bout. You might remember me from Gaslighting the

(27:30):
woman who dressed like a mermaid of the show. Oh
my god. Also for a person who went to Berkeley.
Oh my god. I think he's dumber than Elizabeth's curious.
I do not connect these two facts about him. Rich kid, Yeah,

(27:51):
he's just rich enough that he got pushed along and
tutored and helped and was able to get good raids
because of money and help. I feel like maybe he
didn't go to a great high school. He could sit
front and center. Maybe he was really good at one
weird sport, like one random like squash or something. Highlight. Yeah, highlight,

(28:13):
He's excellent highlight. And that's highlight. Oh watch mad men.
I know this because in Rhode Island, in Newport there's
highlight courts. So there's shaped it's almost shaped like a
bael is and then they throw this hardball like two

(28:34):
at somebody. We should take up highlight when the pandemics
over to get to like it's our rage room. But
we're doing highlight with your dad. Oh lord, I'm looking
it up. Your dad can screamed stock tips at us
highlight and he can tell me how I need to
buy property. Wow. Okay, well okay, so let's get into
this episode. So we continue with Sunshine Shane. He's taken

(28:56):
a nap. Eddie is pissed. Believe he has piste. He
should be picked. Look, I love naps. I try to
take a nap any second I can. I I am.
I have no nap shamer here. In fact, I've trained
people a nap. I come from a family of nappers. Okay,
this time of year in the winter. If you say

(29:16):
you're take a nap around like in the afternoon, nap
with a light on so you don't wake up confused
in the dark and afraid that you've slept through the night.
Like you know, you know what I mean, Like nap
with the light on. Yeah, I say, like set an alarm.
Let yourself have a nice hour nap. If you're on
a couch, bring a nice duvet onto it, or I

(29:38):
like on top of the covers. But like with a
random blanket on top of you. So don't feel like
a full loser, but like really just get sleep mask,
ear plugs and just really luxuriate, get that phone away
from you, and just really just give in and have
that nap. Do you ever do daytime? Melotona? You know what?
I can't do, Melotona because I see like dry gins

(30:00):
and stuff. What I'm a very Can I borrow your bottle?
You can borrow my constitution? I get fucked up. He's
the least Tannon knows. Tannon knows. I am the lightest
weight in the land. Yeah. I gave Arden a xan
X once and I didn't see her. I went straight

(30:20):
to Oxen. Actually, let's take suddenly there was a new
episode of Mad TV. Let's take a quick break. We'll
be right back after these quick commercial breaks, and we're
gonna give Arden a melton and see how the rest
of this episode and we are back. Okay, So we

(30:44):
have Shane's taking a nap, Eddie's piste and then very
lovely moment where Captain Lee shows us a photo of
his lovely bride, Mary Anne, and we learned that she
was also a chief stew and he forced her into
yachting as the Bye by God. Yeah, he just made
her a chief stew Yeah, he gave her three stripes

(31:06):
and he's like, these are a temporary You're gonna have
to earn him. Yeah, for sure. I have a soft
spot for Captain Lee because I feel like like there's
something of that old school dad vibe where I feel
that he's stern but fair. I feel like, at the

(31:26):
end of the day, he is a bit of a softie.
The sheer fact that he loved Kate so much, Like
there's something in him that I love his one liners,
Like Jack I asked, I love him on like the
night when everybody's off normally when the people are off partying,
which these are, when he's like alone in his cowboy boots,
hunting for vodka in the freezer. Like those, It's like

(31:49):
I have a soft spot. I went like ironing his
jeans and screaming at himself, Like I feel that I
would get nervous around him and not know what to say,
but I feel the ultimately there's a sweet side to him,
And I actually like Captain Lee a lot. Are you
attracted to go? That's not no one more question. Obviously,

(32:12):
Captain Lee is a lady in the streets, but what
do you think about in the sheet? So he's a
freak in the sheets? Excuse me? Like old school? Yeah,
too much gold not to know what he's doing. Yeah,
I feel like there's some like Burt, like a vibe
of like Burt Reynolds on that bare rug when he
was buck naked like a giant astray in front of

(32:36):
his peen, just being like, you know, his chest is
extra shaped. Yeah, he's got that thing where if you
don't go to the gym, but you don't give a fuck.
It's just the confidence to cover up anything, you know.
And he's a man, you know what I mean. He
doesn't need to be at the gym all the time.
He's Captain Lee. He's a captain and like even when

(32:59):
he's just even star in the season like Crack three Rooms,
that hurt, but it's like Captain Lee's not going to
not be the captain. Like he's Captain Lee, like just
so you know he's like oh like, but there's something
that's like that guy is definitely confident in the stack. Yeah,
I can see that especially, that's why what do you
think the Lovely Bride Marianne has stuck around so long

(33:22):
even though she never sees him. I mean, absence makes
the heart grow a hornier. Well, as we all know,
Captain Lee doesn't actually do this for a living. Well
now he doesn't, but originally he did. He used to,
but at this point in his career, he only Captain's
won their filmmaker. I don't blame him because he probably
gets paid to captain and he also has very He's

(33:45):
also has got a lot of businesses, he's got investments.
I mean, it's a perfect job. He still gets to captain,
he gets paid like triple yeah, and you get six
weeks away from your from your your significant other and
just like that's such a good like reboot to a relationship.
Sure do you need a little mystery, a little like

(34:09):
there's nothing less sexy than the pandemic. Let's be real,
there's no like, there's no like what did you do today?
You know, like there's no mystery like a little like
oh I wish you were here, I miss you. That's
not happening for anybody. Yeah, it's just you wanna ya Okay,

(34:30):
I washed my hair, report next, let's it. It's always like, well,
I guess I'll take a shower the first time this month.
I guess I'll show Are you just trying to get
me a shower? Fine, I guess I'll take a shower. Yeah,

(34:50):
I don't want to. I don't even know if I
would shower. Yeah. So okay, we have our first our
next charter meeting whatever with Captain Lee, Francesca, Eddie and Rachel.
We have trial lawyer Tim Scott and his wife Beth
Vegan celebrating their fifth Wait, no, they're celebrating. I literally

(35:10):
wrote celebrating their fiftieth, like as if they're annivers. They
said her fiftieth, and then I figured out it waste
And I'll tell you what. He's not interested in anything
but alcohol. Doesn't care about his friends hanging out, food
and activity. He wants that vodka, soda and rose all day.

(35:32):
Like he hates his life. He's numbing out and he
cannot drink his life away and even on a superhiot. Yeah,
he's a trial lawyer. I was like, well, I don't know.
I I actually related to him greatly. I would be
sleeping during this entire trip. Uh, Nick were able to
get their likes and dislikes. I regret to inform you

(35:53):
that for the first time this season. I was not
able to get it. I have um so many pictures.
I don't know if you can see this that you
cannot read. I took pick so many pictures of different frames,
but I couldn't get it. The only one that they
actually landed on was the primary charter cuisine for the

(36:14):
Lady Beth. What does Beth want? She dislikes cream based
sauces and soups. She can't eat yogurt or ice cream.
Me thinks there's something about a dairy. You can just
say that. Although you say that, but then for lunch
she wants barata manchego. She's dairy free except for fancy

(36:37):
cheese unless she really wants it. Yeah, yeah, anyway, that's it.
I felt for Rachel with the lunch salad with the
crab that she was so proud of. I will say,
and I love Rachel her plating. Now, let me also
just say, I know nothing about cooking. I am the

(36:58):
worst chef in America. Like, so we just tell you
I'm I'm not a cook. Her plating was a little trying.
It was. It was stupid for for a guy that
looked like it was a cigar a giant steak and
like food. He doesn't want a crescent moon of like
lettuce and crab, like make the whole. It was not
enough food, looking that was a tiny amount of crab

(37:20):
to like imagine serving them whitefish dyed pink and then
only giving them that much. Well, okay, so we also
learned they want a steel drum brand beach barbecue. Got
enough of these beach barbecues, caviare and they want the slide,
which is every dead hands nightmare. And then Captain Lea's like, Rachel,

(37:41):
this is going to rely on you, this this charter
because it's all about food, which really makes me happy
because I do feel like Rachel is a ticking time bomb.
I've said this every episode. I cannot wait for her
to lose her ship. She seems just unwell enough to
really give us some good. So I'm excited for that.

(38:03):
I agree with you. I like her hot head, dirty
mouth France can't handle. It's like, that's gonna fuck you
in the mouth. So I was like, she kept saying
it and Francesca was not responding and she wasn't riding
the room, and I was like, I love this dynamic.
Francesca's got this weird thing, you know, where she's like,
all information must pass through me. I must be in

(38:23):
charge of all decisions. Now it's like annoying. Sure, that's
like a bitchy thing to say, but I think it's
working well because Elizabeth is not on it. So I
think she's just protecting herself because her nobody. I actually
feel like, um, then Ash is talented enough that she

(38:46):
could be the second. I don't think Elizabeth. She's very sweet,
but she is a dummy. Yeah, but Ash, she's just
so competent and fine. I don't want to see that.
I want to see Elizabeth fuck it all up. Well,
she was prematurely promoted. I don't know why. It seemed

(39:07):
like there was no reason for her to be promoted
other than Francesco was like I'm going to try this
and that it's just like it's backfiring so hard. But
I do want to say we get to a point
where James is eating a nutella and chocolate syrup. I
was never been so jealous that I'm not a man,
and I started. I was a good thirty pounds heavier

(39:28):
all through high school and college. Okay, and when I started,
there was no option to look like a normal person,
you know, like there was like Melissa McCarthy did not exist,
you know what I'm saying, Like there was no so
there was nobody that was even remotely looked like me

(39:49):
or my friends, and so like there's a part of
me and I wish I could like slide categories. I
wish I was, like, so I would just mean being
so jealous of like Seth Rogan in his pride, Like
I would love like one weekend eating nutella and like
chocolate syrup sandwich. There's nothing I want more than that.
Like that looks like just to be But then you

(40:10):
feel like this poor dude is gonna hate himself and
do sit ups in his room. That's the thing. Like God,
but really I'm like, oh my god, please be free.
I'm so happy for you that you get to eat.
I love this for you. You look great, and he's
just he hates himself. Well yeah, so apparently we learned
that he was bullied for being chubby by his like

(40:30):
two older brothers who saw him and swim shorts at
the beach and made fun of him. So now he's
like he says, he's very quiet, and he never really
spoke because when he did, no one hurt him or
they would make fun of him. So now he's like
really hard on himself and goes to the gym five
to six times a week. And I was like, what,
poor guy. I feel so bad for him. But also

(40:50):
he's really I kept saying, he lacks a personality and
the only thing you ever hear him say is that
a woman is fit. And then on top of like
in the last episode where they up trying to talk
to everyone and no one could understand what he was saying,
I felt badly for him because I have to say, like,
I have a really high voice, and when it's sometimes

(41:11):
if you're in a really crowded room, it's a pitch
that doesn't have any base to it, and and sometimes
like people just can't understand me or hear me, and
like I'm an anxious enough person, and then like you're
repeating yourself, and then like what what what I'm saying
is never that exciting that like by the fourth time
I'm saying and I'm like I said that, that looks
like hey, I'm saying he was like, oh, Like it's

(41:33):
like I just feel and I feel like there's nothing
natural or casual of like trying to connect and like
trying to just be like he was just commenting on
somebody's shoes. You know, it's like, oh no, what I like,
You're like wow. I felt like he actually had the
most personality and was trying to have a conversation. And

(41:55):
I feel for him because he I could see his
soul started to crumbly. He wants to have a good time.
He's a young dude. He's done in the Caribbean. He's
on a boat like he's seen below deck. Everybody gets
hammered and hooks up and like people like, no, we
can tell is going to get serious. So even though
we don't know it yet, there's no shot hanagans, no

(42:17):
no banana grams in Yeah. I was also like, at
the last like four or five years, we've had like
three of the craziest years of all time just in
the last few Like I feel like two it's gonna
get I was taking back to like I remember being
at a Meba at the end of like and people

(42:38):
were selling like I know, is it done? People were well,
it's moved. People were they were selling fuck twenty sixteen pins,
And I thought and like, looking back, you're like twenty
sixteen was like the peak of the good old days,
like there was all fun and seventeen was worth. Twenty
eighteen was worse. Twenty nineteen like don't keep staying like

(43:01):
I can't wait for one because like you gotta you
gotta make the best we got. Twenty sixteen was so
quaint because it was such a terrible year because two
old rock stars died of the two things old rock
stars ever die of a drug overdose in cancer. Who

(43:21):
was that? Not that crazy? David Bowie, I didn't even
know that I was was bad because we voted trumpet office.
It was it was like we had lost all the
celebrities that year. Yeah, and then it ended with Trump.
Oh I didn't realize that. Yeah, I forgot that they
had passed in I know the difference of like a

(43:43):
bad year. That's a bad year your house. Excuse me,
excuse me, you've all been grounded, You've all got to go.
So you're Francesca thing Elizabeth is so messy, But I'm
like more importantly, like are her chakras in line? Like

(44:07):
Elizabeth is so funny to me, Like one yes, like
you said earlier, she keeps a crystal in her bra,
which I don't know about you, but that would suck
up all my chakras because I'd be uncomfortable as hell.
I've done that, you have why tell me everything? Okay,
my friend Rebecca, I call it my tip, Crystal. I

(44:27):
was on a job with a really toxic person, a
great job night mayror coworker, and my friend who is
like my like coven witch friend. She brought me a cardnelion,
which is like female warrior energy, and then she gave

(44:50):
me like a black toralt mine for protection. And they're
like little tiny ones. She's like, you put them in
your bra to protect you. And I'm like, I mean
at that point, like I'll do anything. This is a
world class, a level nightmare. And I haven't just do anything.

(45:10):
I mean, I don't know. I would forget they'd be
in there and I'd be in like wardrobe fittings and
like rocks and fly out of my chits. That's nothing,
excuse me. Yeah, yeah, I will be confident. I'll be
chicking down by like the meanest human in America. Yeah.

(45:34):
I feel like I'm so sensitive to everything that I
would be like I would feel less together knowing there
was something. Crystal just make sure it's flat. I know,
I'll get you in that shape like a little doughnut.
I'm gonna get you a flat crystal. Okay, don't just
put it over my nipple. Let me like like a
fun nipple thing. I could keep a crystal in my

(45:56):
breast pocket. Yeah, keep it for guys to ye. Nick,
I'll get you at your crystal. I don't Nick, thank you. Yeah,
you get titty crystal for everybody. Crystal everybody, titty crystal
for you, titty crystal for you, everybody gets titty crystal.
Oh you know, actually I just I looked at my notes.

(46:18):
I forgot. Yeah what you guys were saying. Rachel being
like just so foul mouth in the funniest way. Remember
when they're doing the menu and she's like, my mom
said I drink too much. She said I should go
to meetings, so naturally I became a somalia. And then
at one point she literally says like, fuck abli in
the mouth. Yeah, because I'm gonna put that in the mouth.

(46:38):
And I thought you are a fun wild card. Like
imagine her hammered. She's the most fun drunk. Like if
her mom says she is like a legit problem to
a I'm trusting that there's a reason it was said
that there's something that's worrying. And without her mother, there's
some behavior that has been alarming, and you know she's

(47:01):
either the best time or a nightmare. I bet it's
a book. I bet it's so fun until it's coming.
There's so many layers to Rachel, like the fact that
she was an r O t C. And I've set
this in past episode. She's a total horse girl to me,
like the kind of person who just like start into horses,
and she travels all over the world. She's like, I've

(47:21):
lived here, I've lived there. You know you have to
drink with your Japanese chef or it's considered rude. You're like, okay, dude,
you're too much. And she's like, I know what I
own everything. I was an r O t C. And
you're like, we get it, dude, when we get it,
I love it. I am here for this meeting. I'm like,
I just really exactly like, I don't know, I don't

(47:42):
know a person like this, and I am just like
drinking it in. I feel like that's the kind of
madness you need to be a good chef. I feel
like she's more fun than the other chefs. That what
is that chef? Kevin? Kevin, Kevin was a piece of ship. Kevin.
I'll never forget him just walking out with that penis cake,

(48:02):
so proud of himself. Oh God, just get Kate. Kate
was Kate's time, Kate with the penis cake. She got
him good. I loved Kiko, I'm gonna say, I think
even though I think the most annoying one was Michaela's boyfriend,
British Tom. Oh, my god, Malia, Malia's boyfriend who he

(48:29):
was an arrogant, he was an absolute monster, and the
fact that he had worked in like Gordon Ramsay's restaurant,
Like everything about him was k Oh, you're just You're
just a mean piece of ship. You're like, you're little
like posh douche way Nick, What did you think of Tom?
I think that he's untalented. You think he's untalented, that's

(48:54):
what you're I think that Rachel's more talented as I think. No,
Tom was just a little kid. I don't know, man,
he had like a little freak out like he He
was not a good person. You could tell that. You
wouldn't want to be friends with him, that he shouldn't
date anyone that you know that. I just like, I
hope he stays in England forever. I think he cheated

(49:16):
on her on a charter and that's why they broke up.
I saw her on Watch What Happens a Lot. I
think that piece of ship cheated on that cool lady.
When will Malia catch a break? I mean, when is
malig gonna catch a great guy? She was a titty Crystal. Alright,
I'm looking up an ardent Marine dot com slash store

(49:37):
and I better see you. Guess may I touch you?
Somebody lost his titty Crystal? Oh yeah, well okay, so
is He tells Sunshine Shane that he has to step
up his game and show initiative, and he's like, yeah,
I will step up my game and I will show initiative.
He I literally the fact that he's like, I can't.
He's gonna get fired. Like I feel like he's gonna

(49:59):
get fired. People keep trying to help him, and they
were like and Izzy was like, hey, dumbing, don't forget
to close the garage door, you dumb dumb. And he's
like okay, and then like his common sense no zero no,
common sense. He literally is like, my head's a tornado
right now. It's like just clean, closed door, yes, simple.

(50:24):
I just had a flash of who Courtney was. Corney
was the rich girl that liked to be on the odds,
but then she actually turned out to be a hard worker.
Oh she's like, I'm used that Courtney igest him because
I was thinking that Sunshine feels like somebody that's being
on the OSTs and by the way side, no kids

(50:44):
on yachts. I actually felt like the kids last episode
were pretty well behaved, polite to like, thank you, like
to all of the I thought they were as sweet
as you could be for paying another adult woman to
come eat sushi off of her body. Surreal. It was
like when to be the gas. But then she worked hard.

(51:06):
I liked Corney because at that reunion she said everything
everyone in that room needed to hear, which is like,
these dudes were shitty. They spoke down to us. They
didn't understand that you can't speak to women like that,
and we have every right to shut you down and
turn away from you. Yeah, which is what she had
to do to Brian, the South African she was dating,
who like kept getting angry at her right. I don't

(51:28):
remember what he looked, but I do remember him. He
looked like Ashton. They all looked the same after really turned.
I really liked the Oh yes, I remember they were
so cute at first and then he was so crazy. Yeah,
all right, it's uh in in below deck land. It
is the next day, Zach, Zach hit the next day,

(51:49):
charm no one, that's the page. God, thank god. It's
the glitter. It's the glitter one. It says glitter. It
sounds like but I mean, okay, well we did it.
I did it with my mouth. Whatever Zack is but

(52:10):
so locked down. Well, anyway, it's the next day. Francesca
is like, we're going to step up our level of
service and all this okay. Also Francesca's idea of stepping
up the level of services. Everyone hands me the plate
before it goes on the table, So I put everything
on the table. And it's like, this doesn't feel like
it's gonna work out very well or streamlined things. If

(52:31):
everyone has to wait waffles at a time, and this
giant boat with all these spiral staircases. I was like,
this is a really staggered delivery system that you have.
I don't know where Francesca has come up with this,
Like everything goes to me, but I don't communicate anything
to anyone else. So I'm like, great, Captain Lee, this

(52:52):
is he's not gonna like this. You're not gonna last.
We need another Kate baby. Well, but I think they're
gonna make Do you think Kate was probably the most
talented person that was paid so little on TV? Do
you know how much she was paid? How do you know?
I can just imagine it was fucking nothing. And she's

(53:16):
getting paid for a job already, so it's not like
she's in her head she has to get that much more.
And then she's getting Instagram flowers, so maybe she's getting
like an extra eight hundred a week. I don't know. Yeah,
it's crazy. I can't be that much for how long
she's been on television and how much like a star

(53:37):
of a TV show she is. But they probably paid
her off in like her new Zoom show. Yeah, I
think she gets She probably got something, I hope, so
she deserves it. She seems very fancy in her Instagram,
but I don't know. Yeah, who knows. Maybe she's got
investments too. Yeah, let's take another quick break, we'll come
back and keep talking. All right, and we're back. Okay,

(54:06):
we're hoping Ki gets paid. Okay, if you're listening, please
reach out. Let us know if you're getting paid. Why
did you get paid? And we want to know how
much you made? I got we a google with how
much do the cast members on below deck? Nick google it? Well, yeah,
we've googled this before. There's no good information. They like
tell you how much they make, like in their positions

(54:28):
on the boat, but they don't tell you how much
they make for below deck. They're trying to keep it quiet,
probably because they don't pay them that much. That's I
think the problem. Bravo's probably screwing. I wonder if they
have an n d A or when no one's ever
talked about it. I mean, like cable cable, you don't
make much for most thanks if it's not scripted, and

(54:53):
even scripted, it's a lot less than network stuff. All right, Well,
we are going to says each cast member is paid
a small fee. Oh god, but the bulk of their
salary is made just from their work on the boat.
I would say at most a thousand a week, I
would hope. So oh, I think it's less, do you.

(55:18):
I didn't know if there was some I guess it's
non union, so like six D a week or something.
This is something that I don't think they ever raised
the amount for No. No, there's no negotiating and every
year it gets less, just you know, like SAG rules.
Yeah for sure, for sure. Oh yeah yeah. Well alright,

(55:39):
so we're back on Sunshine Shane. His face is white.
He literally has his Reef Safe sunscreen onto a point
where he looks like a ghost. And he's like, hey, Eddie,
do you have a list that I could work off of?
And Eddie's like the lists on the wall, and I'm like,
I can't win, Sunshine. You can't not win. Well you should.

(56:01):
He shouldn't have napped with a sleep mask. Good day. Also,
you have to tell your superior what you're doing. You
can't just like leave. No, it's so strange would be
if you're already doing a bad job, especially if if
your nickname is Sunshine. You've already friended up and you

(56:21):
live where you were and you share a room. So
if he comes back, it's not like you're like called
in stick to the office. You room with the guy
and he it's right there. It's like he really has
no comments. Gotta be a rich hit. There's no way
like that. Oh, guys, I found a mirror article that says, um, yes,

(56:48):
that says they're not paid any extra than the average
yacht crew despite being filmed every minute of every day
for six weeks, maybe meaning the actual crew. Yeah, they're
like the TV show doesn't pay them, but that's yeah,
they have to pay them. Yeah. There was a great
moment where Ash says that she feels like ham between

(57:10):
two slices of bread because Elizabeth and Francesco are so
like at or just I don't know, dislike each other.
And she says she learned from this job to fence
it and to never take a side. And I wrote
down that I recommend that for all our guests on
this show as well, never take a side between Nick
and I. Oh, I'm an offence it M. I recommend

(57:32):
that to all future guests. Yes, guy, we never agree.
That's just the way the show goes, Isn't that right,
you guys? Do you guys not agree right now? Honestly,
I have no idea what you're talking about, because I
was looking up another article. What I've said, they get
paid a very little bit more. You guys, can we agree?
We never agree, even though, like here's what I want

(57:52):
to say. Even though this season like nothing is happening,
I still when I watch it feels so peaceful, like
I'm stuck in out of pacifier, like like just so happy.
It's just pretty. It's the Caribbean, Like like, really is
it very boring as far as like storyline is very boring?

(58:14):
But I'm like, you know, like even like even the
guests this week we're lame, and I'm like, but I'm
still so satisfied by it. It's so sad when there's
a whole other week to let it comes. Like, I
love it even when it's not good at would you say,
a different vibe than a lot of other Bravo programming.

(58:34):
It's more soothing the other on the season seven was
so much fighting and punching of walls and stuff that
was harder to watch, Like there were so many guys
that kept punching like minivan walls and it's hard for
me to watch hotheads like that. And then Just and
Rob were like awful, and then chef Adam and what's

(58:59):
her name? And we're brutal, so like you have a
couple in your life that reminds you of Justin Roh
or all I could think about, or Adam and Jenna.
Both of them were yes, we're like break up. Oh
my god, like you guys are please please please break up?

(59:20):
I talked to I talked to a friend when I
left New York all the time about like they needed
to break up with your boyfriend. And it was like,
obviously I do like this boy when it's insane, like
this relationship can't continue. And I moved to l a
like three and a half years ago, and then I
talked to this person recently and there they told me
that they were about to break up with their boyfriend

(59:42):
and I'm like, we are still, holy, y can't. It's
also like when you're that friend, or even like if
people are married and you're like they're like what do
you think? What do you say? What do you think?
It's like I think you should get divorced. And then
they stayed together and then the husband is like, you're

(01:00:04):
the one that told Brandy to divorce me, Like you
can't say it, Like you have to just you have
to you have to go. You know, you'll know in
your heart, like you can't say it because eventually we're
like everybody thinks so, are didn't think so, and everybody
thought divorce ship. But yeah, you can't say it. You
got a fence. You can't say it because they will

(01:00:27):
tattle on you. Like then I didn't leave you, even
though even though Nick told me to leave you, I
did it the worst. And then you get confronted, you're yeah,
I don't like yeah, well yeah, well luckily all those
couples have broken up. So um okay, yeah, like what

(01:00:48):
you were saying, the guests are arriving at Like the
most entertaining thing that happened was is you had a
camel toe. That was great. I would have I mean
that was a highlight of my week. Is these camel
toe as natural and funny. Loved it. I find her
she's actually working hard and it's thriving outdoors. She her
spirit was wilting in the interior. She's been working hard.

(01:01:11):
I feel that Eddie really wants to help her. I
think that she's very funny. Is they're cute as she
and James are funny as roommates. I love like she
left a hair for him on the sink, Like I
find Ezzy to be an like she and her vibrator,
like the whole thing. I'm like, I kind of, well,

(01:01:35):
she has well I'm not evening into that, but she
I agree, and I don't know what I was gonna say,
but I agree that she was so boring and just
like irritating as a stew that I am so happy
she found her place because now I love her. Now
she's fun. Yeah, and she can hold her own against James,
which is great. And she's she's and she's being sweet

(01:01:57):
to sunshine. She's got a little bird her pot. She's chill.
I hope she boned somebody and be so sighted for her.
But she has said herself her vibrator has given her
more orgasms than any man. So I mean, what's to argue,
you know, great, that's just repetition there volume well anyway,

(01:02:21):
so yeah, the guests have arrived there. They seem like
really demanding, but not in an entertaining way, like they
just want vodka sodas. They feel like they hate their
lives so much and they're just trying to drink the
reality away. Yeah, that's the entire thing, is like vodka
seut onice, Vodka seut on ice vodka, so it's like
vodka sprite. I'm like, this is you guys, are you
bring nothing to the table other than you really want vodka?

(01:02:44):
And that is and I just think that the they're
super rich, and it's like it just seems like where's
the fun, where's the laughter? Where are people playing any games?
Or like that's my biggest nightmare of like that kind
of a trip, like if not with funny people, just
with the people that, Yeah, I was trapped on a
boat with people that don't want to make jokes or anything.

(01:03:08):
What are you talking about? They don't talk. The problem
is usually the coolest best people aren't billionaires. That is
the problem. What are we gonna do? Guys? Billionaires are bad? No.
So I always think it's interesting because Rachel as soon
as she like it's like I think these guests are
gonna be great. They love food, they get it, and

(01:03:28):
then like immediately at lunch, these guests are like, the
crab is fake, right, it's canned crab, and Rachel is
so I love how offended Rachel gets where she's like
it's actually it's the most expensive crab you can get,
or like when the the I don't know where were
the crab shells? We didn't see your break of crab.
We saw the lobsters. I wanted to be like see

(01:03:50):
like I cracked the crabs the crap, I don't know.
I don't recall seeing maybe I threw away her trash earlier,
didn't have it hanging out around. I made a barette
like bugsy out of a crap. But do you also
remember in the last episode with the young kids, like
she was so offended that she had this amazing tuna

(01:04:11):
and the kids like didn't give a fuck no and
her barbecue that she wanted to feed them in the
hot tub and they're like, can I actually not eat mutton? Well? Soap?
Like can I just sit at a table? So funny?
What was what was the player giants over? Yeah, like

(01:04:35):
you know, like do you know how I pruned you
would be by the end and like also like covered
in like hot sauce. Yeah you don't. It seems I'm
Santa Charing. Your fingers are like going in because you've
had like sticky sauce and you're the kids are actually
right like we just dropped another piece of chicken in
the water. It's like surf and turfs and just feel

(01:04:57):
like a bunch of shrimp in the hot tub. It
didn't make any sense, but she really thought, you know that.
She's like, what could be better? You're a young person,
you're eating shrimping a hot top. I was like, that
is an old person. That's an old like we don't
think kids aren't want to be well, that would be

(01:05:18):
that actually sounds interesting to eat lobstering water. It's like,
you think you're better than us? Do you think you
can escape your faith? Good luck? Yeah? I mean I
just love how like it's just the little things that
upset Rachel. If just someone being like is this can
orsus crab real? And she's like spiraling, like what do

(01:05:39):
you mean? She goes, that's decided her mom. That was
like you might a meaning and she's like, oh god, Rachel,
maybe don't say that in front of the clients. And
she's like she doesn't, like, oh yeah, I'm excited. And
then Captain Leane is like, who said that on the radio.

(01:05:59):
I'm gonna eat your ass and drag your dick through
ten miles and broken whiskey bottle. I love it to
get salty. Yeah, it'll happen. I think he's gonna corona
eat people's asses. He said it like half a dozen
times and not misspeak. Never I have dragged their asses

(01:06:24):
over like like barbed wire or whatever, but I haven't.
I think I think it was season seven. Kate Radio's
him and it's like, what would you like for lunch?
And he's like, I'm gonna eat some ask for a
lot because he was like bad about something and it's like,
I think that means what you think it means, Captain Lee,
like you're gonna eat ass? Yeah, well, yeah, I think

(01:06:47):
this journey, Oh, the Captain Lee is ms he could
write a I guess he has written a book because
you always see in the background whatever he's on, watch
what happens like. But he's like, yeah, I don't know,
you could write an ism spot. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I don't know what your excuse me? Did you see
the last night after he had two books over his

(01:07:08):
shoulder to to not even just one. Chris Harrison does
in his like, what's what's the name of your book?
I'm sorry? Little miss little Compton a veriable worldwide on
a Kindle audio book, hardcover, Audible, Audible. It's really funk

(01:07:30):
now in Captain Lee's house. He puts his books over
frames of people he pretends to love. Do you do
that in your house? Do you have your book? I do?
I have my book. I have my I have old
head shots like an order at every age of myself.
I used to live across the street from an actress,
and I remember going into her house, Julia Robards, it was,

(01:07:54):
and she had all these like photos just of herself,
never with anyone else. It was not like here's me
out outside lands like it's just just me right, and
like old modeling composites of her, like jogging on the
beach that were clearly like twenty years old, like with
her measurements and stuff. It's like like she never like

(01:08:15):
there was frame photos of herself everywhere. I wonder why
you should do that. What I'm trying to say, can
you put this in the chat? Or is this nut
for you? Oh? Yeah, okay, I'll put it in the chat.
You won't even know, you won't even recognize I did
not know. I did not know this person. Well, while

(01:08:37):
you're typing that, um we are we end this day
on the boat with Sunshine journaling about this experience on
the boat. I didn't either you won't still want. I
don't know who that is. Um Sunshine is like sitting
in his room and he's journaling about his experience, and
he's like, I'm a perfect I always sat the front
of the room in high school, and now I'm with

(01:09:00):
a battle of the boat psychologically jurnaling and reading it
out loud to himself as he wrote it, not a
whit over. He was reading it out loud to himself
in a way that actually felt natural. That was mind
boggling to me. I couldn't figure out he was reading
it out loud or if he was reciting it so

(01:09:20):
he could have the perfect journaling entry like I couldn't
figure out. I was like, what is happening, dear? I
know you're and I'm sorry that I let you down.
But as they say, disappointment breed success, it was like, wait, no,
it doesn't. It doesn't. I don't. I know. I'm disappointed
to myself, so I know that's going to breed success.

(01:09:43):
It's going to like I am in a battle with
this boat because I'm so used to failing upwards and
finally someone is telling me I'm not good, but my
hair is so nice. I brought paper straws on the boat.
I've saved the reef. But what are you talking about?
A lot about that? He's such a coddled young flex

(01:10:07):
inhered man. I mentioned being this dude's parents and then
he talks to you like that, and you've got to
be like, I love you. They created this kid. They're like,
you do no wrong, such everything you do is right.
So like Shane got into you, Ce Berkeley and all
their friends are like, that's where his father and grandfather were.

(01:10:30):
You built a new gymnasium. Oh, he's for sure a legacy.
Of course he's Everyone's like Shane Shane like that one
that okay? And they're like, I'm sorry, sir, we thought
it was your older son, Blaine. They're Blaine Chain and

(01:10:51):
Shane Blame Chane Shane and a man we don't talk
about when there's no way. Elaine is also not a guy,
though I told you I'm gonna be Elane now. Well anyway,
So Rachel was so upset by the guests thinking that

(01:11:13):
the cat crab was fake at lunch that she's like,
I'm going all in for dinner, but of course the
main primary goes to bed after like the first course well,
he doesn't eat breakfast. You don't want to eat because
it was so cool the vodka would you made him
have to deal with his reality. So he's like the
more food I eat, the less the vodka hits my
blood stream. And then I have to feel things. You know,

(01:11:37):
he's so awake for anything, Like he's literally like, yeah,
I'll just go to bed. And then like you could
just feel Rachel like bobbling up to los her ship.
She's like, he didn't even get to try. She made
that whole rack. It was like his birth day. She
made a rack of lamb for him because I was
his number one preferences and then he just goes to bed.
I I feel for his wife. You know, he's just

(01:11:59):
like jerking off the porn preference sheet though, to be like,
don't try too hard. I'm an alcoholic. Yeah, I don't care. Yeah,
this is not gonna matter. Oh my god, how gross
did that flag? Rod to me? If you serve if
I like, if I have to eat from his preference
sheet and you hand me Brioche and flog ram. Like

(01:12:21):
the thing about these preference sheets are people are They're
so into like a certain food. But then like god,
forbid you straight from that. Like, if I was on
these boats, I want to eat what they served to me.
I'd be like, well, this is fucking good. This is good.
Oh yeah, I gets specific and they say too many things,
and then when they get something, they're like, but I

(01:12:44):
didn't say this exactly, and you're like, that's not the
way it works, and like who cares. You're on a boat,
you're not on land. We've all been so coddled. Everybody's
like we're so used, Like but then, yeah, I didn't
a green pepper. I said red Pepper's not green pepper.
You went to a dinner party and you're like, whatever

(01:13:06):
you're served, Yeah, that's exactly. Someone tried really hard. Yeah,
made this for your world class chef. Like I trust
that that world class chef is gonna kill it. It's
like is it good? Fuck? Yeah, servant, Like I'm not
Herenna be like ate it unless it was like uncooked
like some of like Kiko's more sad situations. But Zach,

(01:13:30):
do you want to try again to do a next
day jingle? The next day? Al right, Zak has left
the building myself. Guess what. Eddie wakes up to the
beach club door being open, and he's pissed. And the
beach club is that little like bottom compartment where they

(01:13:53):
keep all the like water toys, and to me, seems
like a very simple thing to close the beach club.
And he said, hey, dummi, don't forget to close the
beach club door. Yeah. I don't know about you what
it feels like common sense, but we are learning very quickly.
Sunshine has none of that. If he doesn't leave his

(01:14:15):
oven open and burn his house down, I will be
very surprised. Okay, so I don't I don't know how
you feel about beach picnics, but I think they're fucking useless.
They never go well, they're just always eating off like
paper plates. I don't think there's anything glamorous about a
beach picnic. They have those ikea outdoor tables that everyone

(01:14:35):
has that they set up and then it's everything's blowing
around and it's all like flying around. And then there
was that one with the like the groty like oh
that grody not during this season, but like the woman
who given me like no, get a picture on my
ass her boyfriend just like posing for her disgusting boyfriend,

(01:14:57):
like take a picture of it, just during a like
with like the old guy, and then she really grows
peek into the world. Yeah yeah, She's like, no one
can see me here. It's like we can a camera crew. Yeah.
What this show taught me is that there's all different
kinds of creepy weird rich people. Yeah, endless like with

(01:15:21):
rich people. Rich people are the only people that can
like explore all their interests, Like they're the only people
who can have like hobbies, like some rich people hobbies.
Like my hobbies are cars, and I'm like, what cars plural?
It's like, I don't Maybe I'm into cars, but I'll
never know, right right right, I like hell skiing, maybe

(01:15:45):
I like that like that, I don't know. I a helicopter.
Maybe I don't ski or going helicopters, but and it's
very it's very expensive to skin and helicopter. I think
I could be into that, all right, That's what I'm
into as well. I'm gonna put them my pros to
Helly is skiing too. I've never done it. But I

(01:16:07):
don't eat any dairy except for most cheeses, except for
any cheese that costs a certain amount. I'm really rich.
I hates she hates her husband, and I don't like
her husband either. To be honest, he brings nothing to

(01:16:29):
the table at all. No, he's like dead eyes, Like
I'm half dead eye. And he's a trial lawyer, you know.
He just all he wears is like gray tan, gray suits.
I want him to find something fun in his heart.
I want this family to have a laugh. Yeah. So, yeah,

(01:16:52):
they do the beach picnic. Elizabeth's like, why wouldn't she
send me to do the beach picnic? And she takes
it personally. Last time, you didn't bring the margaritas, you
didn't bring the sunscreen, you forgotten other plates, you didn't
bring the food, you forgotten guess so I'm gonna say
that that was a swing in a myth Elizabeth. Yeah. Yeah.

(01:17:13):
And it's like they do the beach picnic and uh,
it goes well, and I'm like, well, look, Elizabeth, we
really can't have you at these beachpatform. Yeah, you're a liability. Listen,
you're gonna be in the laundry room where it's gonna
be messy, and you're gonna iron Captain Lee's flax Rock
or a night. You're a very nice person and we're

(01:17:34):
just gonna go. Oh, Elizabeth, she's a little slow and
very well meaning, a nice person, and we just hope
your vibes are positive and that's all we want, for
you to have positive energy in the laundry room. Not
speaking um anyone who comes into the laundry room, that's
your territory. Why is nobody hooking up the first flirt free?

(01:17:57):
What's the point of the show without some flirt? Yeah?
I feel like the Chief stew and the Boston they're
out of the game. They're not going to be involved
in any show. She is actually trying to be her
real chief stew but without the fun of like the
table scapes, without the fun of like the rave. Okay,
I got everybody headphones, we're all gonna dance, We're gonna

(01:18:18):
put body like Kate try to make it fun. Bugsy
tried to make it fun. Yeah. So Also, there's there's
one female on the deck crew, so there's less men.
There's like there's only James, Right, you're right, there's less guys.
Wait is there another But there was a lady on

(01:18:38):
the deck crew in below deck and then our boson
was a gal. Yeah, but though that you see, that's
the difference that bos that bos. Yeah she was, but
she had her stupid stid because Hannah's always down to fuck.
Kate is never you know, but one time Kate did
Kate flirt of a Tanner from Hot Again? Oh yeah,

(01:19:01):
she was willing his mom? Did you get anyone my Tanners? Oh? Yeah, yeah,
I'm getting anybody. Brittan, you know? Are you? She's literally
be like, did you hire a hooker? It's like, what
are you asking? Didn't you ask your son? That also
Tanner's mom. The politically correct term is sex worker. Okay,

(01:19:23):
weird old lady from Long Island. I'm kidding me. I'm
from Rhode Island. Everybody in New England, it's gonna see
sex worker. It's a hooker. You hook over there good times.
I missed Tanner just because his mom was so weird
in those phone calls. Um, I loved his mom. I
loved Tanner's mom is my favorite character on blow That's

(01:19:45):
who it was? Yes, that Tanners my favorite decades universe.
Tanner and Colin have the same mom, same Long Island.
Was Colin really cute? He has kind of a bulbous nose,
But I don't think I do. She was very inexperienced

(01:20:07):
at life in general. Colin was just a very nice,
sweet guy. He could use he could use it, and
he was good at his job. Crystal, Crystal for sure.
This this episode ends with what I've been waiting for
this whole season, which which is basically Rachel about to

(01:20:29):
lose her ship because she's looking for a specific caviar
for the guests, but there's only yeah, the Bluegig caveat
which is expensive caviar. But she can only find Sam
and Row, which is like, whack caviar Apparently, Yeah, that's
not going to funk you in the mouth. No, And
she's so pissed. She's like, I will slit someone's through.
I'm gonna punch someone in the scroll up and she's
just saying this all to herself while she's like digging

(01:20:51):
through a fridge, like I will fuck someone up. I
swear to god, I will lose it. Her mom like
what happened the evening that her mom was like I'm
more about you. Like what she's like, I'm gonna cut you.
You her hammered. It's got idea journey, Oh I I
that's what's like. She has to get drunk. I have

(01:21:12):
to see for sure. Yeah, oh my god. Anyway, I'm
really excited for the next episode because I feel like
Rachel is gonna She's already bringing in just that last two.
She is her favorite. I also liked Keiko. I was
sad to see him go. I will say this, I
love to Keko. I'm starting to get a little claustrophobic
watching because I'm really starting to be like they've mentioned

(01:21:35):
the coronavirus already, like it's been mentioned in this universe,
but they're all still inside, they're all still touching things.
Like it's hard to watch and be like, what month
are we here? Fee have they mentioned it on this show?
I feel like they mentioned it. I think maybe I'm
confusing it. I don't think it's all right. They've been

(01:21:58):
talking about it on I don't think it's come up
actually on this show, but we know that it's like
the first episode or the day they arrived, when we've
seen clips of them talking about it. Are you watching
Real Housewives at Orange County? I'm not currently. Last episode
was Bronwyn's like vow renewal and like her grandmother had
just been exposed to corona and was like giving everybody

(01:22:19):
kisses he still had the party at the Parker was
like it was still like yeah, yeah, it's hard to watch.
It's hard to watch. I now even when I watch
things and I'm like, oh those people just touched. Oh
they're god, they're sitting together. I have dreams now, I
have like dreams, and then my dream I'll be like
oh no mask, no mask, Like yeah, I can't. I

(01:22:40):
stresses me out. Yeah. So that's the end episode. We
have some bo there we go, nice, we got it. Okay, guys,
I have some trivia questions about Antigua. Are you ready
for this? Okay? Okay? How many miles of coastline does

(01:23:08):
Antigua have? How many does like a normal island have?
I cannot give that information right, fine, I'm going to stay.
Antigua has four hundred and seventeen miles of coast Okay, yes,
you did need a hint? What about you anna maybe

(01:23:29):
fifty miles of coastline? How big it is? Fifty four
miles of coastline? Oh I didn't need I needed the
gumball like forty sixty or seventy two. I read an
article about some like Caribbean Times, about them announcing that
below deck was in Antigua. And then some local spokesperson

(01:23:51):
for Antigua talked about how there was nine miles of
coastline and then I looked at Wikipedia and it's fifty four.
They were wrong and they were like, don't believe as
a spokes Yah, but how many islands? Actually only one island? Um? Yes?
And so here's question number two. What country is Antigua

(01:24:14):
in it? Uh? French? So it belongs to a country
England like Bermuda. Yeah, well that was closer. The country's
name is Antigua and Barbuda and it consists of two islands,
Antigua and Barbuda, and they're their own islands, but they

(01:24:37):
combined to make a country. Anna and I combined forces
to make our own human Yes. And actually when our
own country when when the big hurricane hit the entire
island of Barbuda had to be evacuated to Antigua. Every

(01:24:58):
single person destroyed, ninety percent of the buildings on barbu Um. Okay,
last questions, what does Antigua mean in Spanish? Okay, antique
pretty much ancient? Yes, Yes, I'm the winner. Okay, the

(01:25:19):
winner gets to do the show next week. No, I'm
so sorry to get out of it, but I need
it With The Bachelor? What am I going to do?
You know what? Yeah, if you're not careful, I'm gonna

(01:25:42):
what if I tried to quit? Oh? Shaw, excuse me?
Who else are deckheads? Who else loves below deck that
you've had on well? We actually only just started having
guests with this season because we just started going weekly.
So far we've had Megan Gaily Renee and Miles Gray

(01:26:06):
on you and yeah, that's all we've had so far.
I mean, the best you guys have the Varsity were
and to give you guys a little taste next week
we have are you ready? Literally was about to say
the guys from Watch What Crappens? Yes, Yes, Ben and

(01:26:26):
Ronnie from Watch What Crappens, which is a great basically
Bravo podcast, They're coming on. I was gonna say, literally,
I was gonna be like, drumroll please, and then I
was like, we don't know, thank you, Thank you all right, Art,
and please tell everyone where they can find you. Tell
me about your ball, little miss little Compton. My book

(01:26:49):
is available worldwide right now. You can buy it anywhere.
It's really fun. It's a quick read. There's photos in it.
So if you're like I don't like a book it
takes too long to read, this book is for you. Also,
very importantly, I host a very political, hard hitting, important

(01:27:09):
podcast called Will You Accept This Rose, also on my
Heart Radio about the Bachelor franchise, and it is the
most fun thing that I do. Yes, it's the best,
literally my favorite. Thank you, And I'm on Instagram and
Twitter and Facebook at arten Marine looks like Myron m

(01:27:31):
y are I am? That's me. That's how you do
the pleasure is all. And I can't wait to get
you a titty crystal Yeah, yeah, alright, I can't wait.
All right, I'll see you guys. We're gonna have some

(01:27:53):
real titty crystal merch the merch well okay, so speaking
of merch, you can buy our titty crystal heads merch
at Tea Public. Go check that out. Get something for
your loved one for the holidays. Oh my god, you
can get him a Master of Boat Facts t shirt
or what is the other one we have? If Captain
Lee's happy, We're happy love that shirt. Got to get

(01:28:14):
that one we have. I'm a deckhead. I'm not a
deckhead or no we have I'm a yaddy I'm a deckhead. Guys,
we have so much merch that I forgot all of it.
Not check out our whole thing. We got great merch. Also,
you can follow us a Deckheads pod on Instagram and Twitter.
I'm at anna host Nick Is at Nick's Turners and

(01:28:34):
leave us a five star review. We would. Nick is
gonna eat everyone's ass. So let's all get on this
boat together and uh, let's get out of here. Deckheads
is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts

(01:28:56):
for my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
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