February 27, 2025 • 50 mins
Devi Brown sits down with award-winning cultural commentator and author Alencia Johnson for a powerful conversation on authenticity, disruption, and self-discovery. They delve into how personal healing fuels societal change and the courage it takes to answer one’s inner calling. Alencia shares the inspiration behind her upcoming book, Flip the Tables, revealing how true transformation begins within. Together, they explore the ripple effect of living in alignment—how embracing your truth empowers others to do the same. Through storytelling and reflection, they highlight the collective power of healing and the importance of showing up fully in your purpose.
The world needs your unique gifts and contributions; being true to oneself allows others to do the same. Your truth is a part of the cycle of purpose, the domino-chain effect that causes everything around you to also be in alignment.
Connect @DeviBrown @DeeplyWellPod @AlenciaJohnson
Read Flip The Table By Alencia Johnson
Learn More and Pre-Order Devi's New Book, "Living in Wisdom" DeviBrown.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Take a deep breath in through your nose. Holds it.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Now, release slowly.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Again deep in, helle.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to
my voice. I am deeply well. I am deeply well.
(01:22):
I am deeply I'm Debbie Brown and this is the
Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place
(01:45):
to land in your journey. A podcast for those that
are curious, creative, and ready to expand in higher consciousness
and self care. Thank you for joining us. This is
where we heal, this is where we become. I am
Debbie Brown. Welcome back to the Deeply Well Podcast. I
am so glad to have you here, and I think
(02:08):
gratefully now more than ever, so many in the world
are feeling that deep call, that deep little seed deep
within yourself, feeling the push to step into a more
expanded version of authenticity in your life. A lot of
questions are coming up for people inside of themselves as
(02:32):
the world seems to be spiraling in so many ways,
and we're realizing what truly matters and what really never did.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
So I'm so.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Excited this episode to dive even more deeply into that
thought and into that process with an absolutely incredible guest
Today Today's Guest. Alynsia Johnson is an award winning cultural commentator, author,
political advisor, and leader at the intersection of social impact
and cultural change. Uniquely experienced at marrying cultural cornerstones, advocacy, politics,
(03:11):
corporate and entertainment together for good. She is the founder
of ten sixty three West Broad, a social impact consultancy
and media company connecting brands, organizations, and people to purpose
driven solutions. Her debut book, Flip the Tables, The Everyday
(03:32):
Disruptor's Guide to Finding Courage and Making Change, is coming
out in just a few weeks, and maybe by the
time you hear this episode is already here, so wherever
we land, you can pre order it, or you can
order it for real.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
As you listen to this episode.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
She's worked for presidential campaigns of President Barack Obama, Senator
Elizabeth Warren, and was a senior advisor to President Biden
and Vice President Harris's twenty twenty campaign. Alyncia also held
national roles at Planned Parenthood and Geico, leading efforts in
each organization to address systemic issues facing marginalized communities through
(04:14):
brand engagement and narrative strategies. During her six years at
Planned Parenthood, she was one of the architects behind the
Stand with Black Women branding and framework, as well as
led the organization's election media strategies with Secretary Hillary Clinton's
presidential campaign. Alyncia has been recognized by Harvard University with
(04:35):
a Woman of the Year award, Ebony Magazine's Power one
hundred list of Influential African Americans, PR Week's forty Under
forty list, and more. Her board service includes the Warner
Music Group, Blevotnik Family Foundation, Social Justice Fund, as well
as Human Rights First, and she was appointed to the
Virginia Council on Women by Governor Ralph Northam. She is
(04:57):
currently a Georgetown University Institutes of Politics Fellow. Alyncia is
a sought after thought leader and cultural critic, regularly featured
on MSNBC, CNN, NBC, b ET, NPR, Washington Post, Essence,
Glamour and more.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Oo oit she.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Been doing work in the world. Welcome to the show, Lyncia.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
I am so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I remember I think this was either the first or
one of the first times we met this past year
in Florida at Kimberly Blackwell's incredible event that she puts
on every year for women elevate her and I remember You're.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Like, I love deeply well, and I was like, girl.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Yes, literally, I was like, oh my gosh, I love
deeply well. And then remember you were talking about use
the whole bag of epsom.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Saw, yes, use the whole bag sis, and that.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Really spoke to me because I love my EPs and
salt Babs and I felt so seen. So I was
so excited to see you there and finally meet you
and just what you bring in general to all of us,
but especially to that space of just boss business women
who really needed.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
To center themselves. So it's a great meeting.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Much thank you, thank you, thank you. You have quite
an offering coming to the world. I mean, wow, you know,
we just kind of I was able to really beautifully
list off such a gorgeous life that you've lived, and
a life that is really deeply rooted in service and impact,
but also it requires, right like, a life that big,
(06:35):
a life that meaningful, requires so much of you and
so many facets of who you are. And so you know,
when we spoke recently and I was so excited to
get a copy of your book, Flip the Tables.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
This cover is gorgeous. You know this is powerful.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Your book is called Flip the Tables, The Everyday Disruptor's
Guide to finding courage and can change.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
What gave you the call to write this book?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Now, when I think about where I was a few
years ago at the beginning of the pandemic, you read
my beautiful bio, and I have been so blessed to
have a career that I believe is creating impact and
teaching people how to disrupt in the world. And I
(07:30):
don't take lightly that God chose me to do all
of these things. And at the beginning of the pandemic,
that was after Senator Elizabeth Warren had ended her presidential
campaign and I decided to go stay with my parents.
As I said, I'm not staying in Boston by myself.
We don't know what's happening here with this pandemic. And
I wasn't working again yet, but I was just figuring
things out, which I know is a privilege. And I
(07:53):
had this download from God very clearly about one of
my favorite stories of Jesus when he went in the
temple and flipped over tables, hence the title of the book.
But I started interrogating that and thinking, well, what made
Jesus really so frustrated that he wanted to flip over
tables in the temple that's supposed to honor his father.
(08:14):
And then I went and even broad her and said, well,
wait a minute, what would make all of us get
to a place that we are willing to flip over
a table a proverbial table. And so I was really
wrestling with that throughout the pandemic the height of the pandemic,
while I was also in prayer, I had some prayer
circles with some girlfriends and really thinking about what I
(08:35):
wanted to do next. I was looking through my own life.
I was thinking about relationships and how for some reason
I was dating the same person but they were all
different guys.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
And I was like, well, why is this all the same?
And then why.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Why is the same? Why is this all the same
but none of them know each other?
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Oh my God?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
And then thinking about that always happens, which is why
we writing the book. I had to talk about some
of you know, my relationship, not struggles.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
But journeys.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, yeah, your experiences, my experiences.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
And then At the same time you listed off, you know,
you talked about all the things that had done in
my career. I was thinking about what I wanted to
do next and how I felt a little stifled, and
to be honest, I felt like I hadn't even reached
my fullest potential or was it even doing the things
that I wanted to do. Physically, I wasn't feeling the best.
I had gained a lot of weights and I lost
(09:32):
all of the amazing habits that I thought I had
picked up.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
There was just a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Happening in my own life, and.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
This question kept coming of how do I create impact
in the world. So it's the pandemic, the murder of
George Floyd, this election, so many things are happening. And
the answer to that question of how do I create
impact in the world, it starts with healing myself. And
I took myself through this journey. Now, mind you, I
(09:58):
did not know that that concept and idea was a book.
My agent shout out to Trinity. She reached out to
me at the end of twenty twenty, and I was like, sure,
I have a book in me said that didn't know
that this what I was going through was the actual book.
I knew it was called Flip the Tables, and I said, Okay, sure,
I'll write this guide book for people who want to
sow more good in the world, because I believe that
(10:20):
our purpose here on earth, when we are who we
are supposed to be, it actually is in service to
one another, right, it is in community, It is relational,
It is to advance society. But how do we get there, Well,
it starts to itself. And I had to go through
my own journey of disrupting myself and disrupting my vision
of what's possible and then disrupting my community. And so
it took two years to write the proposal, and then
(10:44):
it took a good year to actually write the book.
But it was so divinely orchestrated to happen at the
parallel time that I literally was taking myself through the
first part of this book, this disruption of self and
disruption of vision of what's possible, and God was like,
you have to be very vulnerable, especially as someone who
(11:05):
I know that so many people, especially black women, look
to me and see all of these amazing professional things
I've done, and here I am breaking down myself and
saying I'm not content. There are things I'm missing in life,
whether it's time with family or time with self right,
or having less time in the office and more time
(11:25):
to do frivolous things, things that bring me joy, things
that allow for me to rest right, things that will
heal me physically and spiritually. And so that's where it
came from. It's literally the book that I needed when
I was going through about of depression and anxiety at
the very beginning of the pandemic.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Absolutely, it's really powerful.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And you know, a friend of mine, a healer friend
of mine, something he had said to me years ago
is when God gives you the title for the book,
then the next few years are the book, you know.
And I feel like in myself in my process, it
very much was that, even though I had so much
to talk about already and so many life experiences, but
(12:09):
God is like, okay, good, now, let's get your middle. Now,
let's get this, let's find your ending to this book.
Let's bring your life together in a way that you
can embody everything that you are saying and teaching.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
To other people. And it takes you through that.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Really like beautiful and really hard and sometimes like very
anxiety filled and you know, tearful, yes, and.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Did experience literally you saying this, that is exactly what
it is, because that several points when I'm writing this book,
I'm like, yeah, girl, why didn't you just write a
book about the women's movement?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
What are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Because I was going through all of that. When I
was reading the audiobook, I was in tears. Yeah, mind you,
I'd written and edited and approved all of.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
This, read it ten times already.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah, I've sent it to people to get their feedback,
and I'm reading it and tears and even some of
the stuff is still challenging for me to read an
experience again. But it is my hope and the book
that we get to a place of understanding. But that's okay,
that's the process, right, Like it's actually a good thing
(13:18):
that you feel emotions about our experiences. But Debbie, it
took me so long to get there, especially I'm a
virgo type a person we like to run from our feelings.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
No, it's actually good to sit in that.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Yeah, not just good, it's like that's God's intention. Yeah,
you know, And I think that's what's so beautiful and
what you express really powerfully in the book. It's like
giving yourself that agency to not just be one thing. Right,
I don't have to be the perception that is crafted
or the version of me that everyone is kind of
projecting onto me. Like I am having my human experience
(13:52):
and it is faceted.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
It's so facinted, and it's fascinating.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Right, and it's something for us to interrogate. So I
have been in and out of therapy myentire most of
my life. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was fifteen.
I had a nervous breakdown and college and I talk
about some of this in the book, and so I've
been in and out of therapy for years. But it
finally took me sitting and saying, I have the tools already, Yeah,
(14:20):
go try this on your own. And you're not something.
You're not a problem that needs to be fixed. Yeah,
you are this complex, beautiful human to accept and embrace.
And that journey has been that's right, so much, but
it's been so rewarding and so powerful. Right, and that
(14:43):
the courage and the confidence that comes from that I
want all of us to experience.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, God, that's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
You know, it's so interesting. It's like in this day
and age. I mean, I think so many words get
really trendy, right like really fast, and we all seem
to have, in general, very different definitions for the words
many of us commonly use, right Like, the word love
is defined very differently by each of us, and many
(15:11):
of the words.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And I think one of the words now that.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
People can appropriate for whatever intention they want is the
word authenticity, right Like, I see some people using that
word as a way to kind of continue to promote
bad behavior because they're like, this is my authentic self.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And it's like, that's not really.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
What it is, right Like, what you're describing is what
the truth of authenticity is, right It's the peeling back
the layers. It's giving self permission to not fit or
and we never could not attempt to fit a perfect
right like being able to say I feel like crying,
so I will cry. I feel like yelling, so I
(15:57):
will yell today. Little depressed today, Wow, I feel really
powerful and ready to serve and use my skills. And
it's like, that's the heart of what it is to
be an authentic woman, to be, you know, a servant leader.
It's connecting all of that. Your book is centered around
(16:18):
the idea of disruption. Can you define what it means
to be a disruptor in today's world, especially for women
that are navigating this personal space and this professional space
and trying to find.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
A way to be who they really are in both.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
M I love that you led into that question with
what it truly means to be your authentic self because
for me and I spend a lot of time at
the beginning of the book defining disruption and reclaiming it
because I feel as though as we've been talking about
how words have shifted meaning right and they became a
buzzword and you would hear it in very business terms,
(16:56):
and to be honest, people involved with the book were like,
maybe you shouldn't actual put that on the book cover.
And for me, I had always danced with the word
because as someone who grew up my dad's a.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Pastor, I'm a Black Christian.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
And then also in this change making space, we embrace
the word disruption, but I had to really interrogate what
does that mean?
Speaker 4 (17:16):
For me?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
It is intentionally tearing something down to build something better.
And I imagine the Tasmanian Devil Loney tunes, right, he
was just going through town, barreling through with no plan,
no concept of why he's just destroying.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
That's not a disruptor.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
The disruptor understands that something can actually be a lot better.
And this is no longer serving us and women who
want to be disruptors. And I believe that we are
by nature right. Our very existence for the most part,
especially women of color, is disruptive. We know that when
we walk into a room with our authentic self, we
(17:58):
can shift the entire atmosphere. That might be what's something
we say, or who we bring to the table, or
whatever it may be. And so the first step of
disruption for me, and that's what I had to work
through in the book, is us having the courage to
be ourselves. And I intentionally use courage instead of fearless,
(18:18):
because sometimes that fear doesn't go away. Encourage reminds us
that there's something greater than our fear, and as a disruptor,
sometimes there's something greater than our fear that requires us
to shift the entire atmosphere, to flip over that perverbial
table to say, you know what, this isn't working. We
need to build something better. We may not know exactly
(18:39):
how we're going to do it. But that's the north
star and the goal. And it's also connected to the
fact that if I don't do this, if I don't
disrupt what's right in front of me, the person next
to me can't also do what they're supposed to be
doing because we're all connected, We're all interconnected.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, that is a really really powerful understanding to come
to because it's like, and it's why we all have
to use our gifts and do the work, you know,
do the work you've been avoiding.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
God requires it because it's like.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
If you don't become yourself, the people around you can't.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Now, if you don't do.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
What you're here to do, you're disrupting that chain, that
domino effect, and what isn't getting birth because you won't
be yourself?
Speaker 4 (19:26):
That's right?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
And how can I face God and not have used
the gifts that he has entrusted me with?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Right?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Like, how can I answer the question of did you
do what you were supposed to do.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
On this earth?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
If I stayed in my own way. One of my
good friends is I was working through my proposal, which
the proposal took longer than actually writing the book. I
had a good friend of mine. He would call me
like once a month and he would be like, how's
the proposal going, what's going on? And one day he
literally said, I want to see you're selfish? I said,
excuse me. He said, the world needs this book more
(20:04):
than you are, more than the roadblocks that you have
in your life. He said, we need this book, and
you are being selfish with what God has told you
to put out in the world. And when I tell
you that, that convicted me, and it pushed me to
a place of I'm crying through proposal notes. I'm like, God,
I don't know how I'm going to do this, But
(20:25):
in essence, I was living what I'm telling everyone to live.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah, that, Oh, something bigger than me, bigger than my fear,
is requiring me to go forward and do this.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Okay, everybody listening, take a breath, Sit with that for
a second. We'll revisit this later in that episode. But
where are you being selfish? Where are you not listening?
Where are you not doing what you're called to do?
(20:58):
I you know, I think we're another one of those times.
Because there are years of activations that happen on this
planet really intentionally. This is what I've observed within my
spiritual awakening. There are different activation points that happen every
so amount of years, right where the people that need
(21:22):
to speak, the people that need to teach, are activated
and activated in new ways. And I identified for myself
like twenty ten, twenty twelve, twenty sixteen, twenty twenty, and
now this moment twenty twenty five feels to me where
I've kind of observed in my own process and and
(21:42):
seeing other people who have birthed the important works that
these were years that have been really important to humanity.
And I remember when twenty twenty first came and it
was already working in wellness and all the things, but
God gave me this this sentence that I started posing
(22:03):
with my students, and I started putting on social media,
which was who are you being called to become?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
And I had launched this program called the Divine Timeout
because I remember this second I heard the pandemic orders
come down, I was like, Oh, this is an opportunity.
People are about to become themselves. People are going to
get to sit with the truth of who and what
they are in the best ways and in the really
challenging ways, and they're going to be able to emerge
(22:30):
from whatever this container is. Hopefully if you do the work,
if you sit in it, if you be with it,
there is profound opportunity to come to the other side
of this isolation and these home orders as who you
are actually meant to be.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
And it's yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Just really powerful because it's like, though, I know you
have had a very layered life, and I'm certain God
has spoken to you about so many things, so many times.
But it's interesting because if we look at what I'm
trying to really spotlight is the importance of listening when you.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Hear it, right, Because you heard this book.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
In twenty twenty, you then spent time becoming who you
needed to be to birth this in the way that
would free and unlock people. And right now, in this
year of twenty our lord, twenty twenty five, my god,
my god, my god, my god, the world is changing
(23:34):
and we have to get really freaking clear. And so
your awakening and you listening when you need it to
is now coming into this moment five years later, which is,
dare I say, one of the most pivotal moments in
human history. Yes, one of the most pivotal moments in
human history and at the bare minimum, one of the
(23:56):
most pivotal moments in this country.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And now there are resources and tools for who's ready to.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Be awakened right now to then pass the baton to
continue the work. So it is so important that you listen.
It is so important that you listen and.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Do do your work. Do your work.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Yeah, Debbie, I'm like feeling and receiving everything that you're saying,
because I'm about to get emotional. If I hadn't been obedient, yeah, right, Like,
if I had not been obedient and the going through
and the facing myself and the being honest with myself
(24:42):
in ways that quite frankly, even my loved ones at
the time couldn't understand. Right, And thank god, I have
so many friends and family who were.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
Like, I don't get this, but I support you. Whatever
this journey is that you're on, I support you.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
But if I wasn't obedient, this book wouldn't be coming
out at a time when people are looking for a
guy to navigate and a guy that gives them permission
to actually go inward a bit before you face the world. Right, Like,
there's a whole section disruption of community that talks about
ways that we can seemingly small ways that actually help
(25:18):
with disruption. But it's the going through in our journey first.
And I write a little bit about something that you
said about how the pandemic was an opportunity, and that's
what I felt too. I said, Okay, thank you God
that I can hang out with my parents for several
months and I can work from home, and they're retired,
(25:38):
so we had our base level of needs met that
we could actually take that time and really have conversations
that were needed. I could focus on myself in ways
that I hadn't before.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I can.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
I could realize that, you know what, I don't need
to achieve anything else. I say that as I'm putting
a book out, But yeah, I don't need to achieve
anything else. I don't need to fly across the country
every other week because I need to be at this
meeting or be in the mix. I actually want to
go hiking with my friends. I actually want to want
to I want to want to build a life, YEA,
(26:11):
a life that quite frankly devy in the going through
over these years. There was a moment, and I'm just
so blessed that as an entrepreneur, I have been successful.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
I immediately got all of.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
The are you building this big agency and how much
money are you raising? And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait,
that's not actually what I want to do, Like I
want the freedom of time, and there's a way that
I can do this that serves me.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
So I was pushing against that.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
And then I was in my new place at the time,
and beautiful place, had all the clothes, all the things,
and I remember sitting in my bedroom outside of my
closet and I was like, this is great, but like,
am I really happy? Like am I really happy with
all of the things, with all of the accolade?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Am I really happy here?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
And that breaking down help get this book, and it
got me to a place of you know, when the
world opened up, there are a lot of people, people
that we know, who got immediately back into their pre
pandemic selves, on flights, at events, doing all the things,
and I'm like, have we not learned our lessons?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I was actually shocked me to.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
See how many people instantly went back to that, and
I was like, wow, I thought I thought that was
going to bring a little more.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah, but you know what, I think some of it
is DeBie is. So many of us are scared to
sit with ourselves. We are running from ourselves.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
It's the hardest thing. It's the hardest thing, the hard
That's what the work of our lives is. It is.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah, and I stopped being scared of myself. I'm like, Wow,
you were scared of yourself. Like to sit with yourself.
It's okay to cry, It's okay to be angry, It's
okay that this childhood trauma that happened to you when
you were six years old, it still impacts you. That's
reminding you that you are human. Right Like, I actually
(28:00):
don't want to be numb to emotions. And again for
me as a virgo to say that that is a
lot to not be numb to my emotions. And again,
if I wasn't obedient, I always want to be in
a place where I can hear God, whether clearly or
through signs. And something that came to me even before
the pandemic was that I don't actually want a full plate,
(28:24):
because if I have a full plate, that means not
only isn't there if there isn't room for me to
do some of the things that I want to do,
but there's also no room for God to use me
in the ways that He needs me to be. You
have to you have to have space, and I have
been pushing and creating that space. And I want to
give us all the permission to do that because to
(28:46):
your other point about this moment we're in, especially right
now as a country and as a world, we have
to have the space to show up in community, to
do what we need to do to get us to
the other side of that together.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
Deeply.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Well, you know so interesting to me about you know,
creating the spaces.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I talk with so many people about this. You know,
so many people that fl fil fill phil fill their
lives or.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Always like making these plans or even having these you know,
and this is not sometimes this serves purpose.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
But when we're overly attached to goals.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Or building out these like long timelines of how life
should go for me, that really illustrates a deep lack
of faith in God, a deep lack of faith in
your life. Because when you are faithful, you get the message,
you get the call, and then you create the space
for it because you know you're not meant to carry
(29:49):
all of it or understand all of it right away,
especially when you're building something you haven't been yet. So
it's like taking some of that pressure off to make
this space to let God move in your life and
actually build what is desired, because it is in service
to more than just you and to other people. But
(30:10):
if you find yourself and I'm saying this for whoever
needs it listening right now, you know, if you find
yourself looking to fill every single inch of your time,
there's something to look at. Yeah, you know something, something
needs your attention within yourself, and it's time to start
investigating your relationship with your nervous system and your relationship
(30:34):
with the need to be distracted at all times.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
And that's the work that I end up having to do.
And even now when I go through bouts of I
feel like my career is in sprints, Like there are
short spurts where it's like extremely busy and chaotic, and
then it kind of levels out to the point where
sometimes I'm bored. But I've learned to sit in boredom
with nothing to do. But in those chaotic times, I
found that I have to cling closer to myself and
(31:02):
create the space to meditate, to pray, to get in
deeper relationship with my maker, because that is what's going
to help me navigate that right. And you mentioned lack
of faith, and I write about that in the book.
There's a chapter called sometimes the Red Flags. You and
I had to really list out all of the things
(31:24):
that I was doing to get in my own way,
and one of those things was having a lack of faith.
And I was apologizing to God. I was like, oh
my God, how am I doubting you? And then I realized, well,
if you gave me the vision, then I just have
to trust that it's going to happen, that it's all
going to fall into place. And the more that I surrender,
(31:47):
I surrender my thought process on how it's supposed to
work out. I surrender against what everyone else says. The
easier it is to actually walk in what I'm supposed
to be doing right, the easier it is to be obedient.
But that lack of faith piece. I had to wrestle
with that for a lot because I was constantly questioning
(32:08):
why certain things weren't working out, trying to figure out things,
and I kept hearing, but do you trust me? And
I was like, oh, right, I have to learn to
trust you, and I have to accept who I am
today and have the courage to walk into spaces to
put ideas out there, trusting that if I've been called here,
(32:28):
it is actually going to work out the way that
it's supposed to.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yes, yes, yes, As you were diving into some of
those inner chambers of who you were, what surprised you
the most?
Speaker 3 (32:45):
M one of the things that really surprised me, and
I had a therapist work with me on this. It's
how harsh I was with myself and can still be right.
I had a therapist who she said to me, one time, you.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Go to law school.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
And I was like, no, girl, Like, what are you
asking me this for? And she said, there's this judge
in here. And I didn't think that that was your career,
but I just wanted.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
To make sure.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
And I was like, ooh, the read okay, okay. And
so she would constantly point out there's that judge because
I would use the words should or I should.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
Be doing this, or they should be.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
And what was reflected back onto me was how I
had such high expectations of myself. And I've worked through
the difference between expectations and standards.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
I can have high.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Standards, but these expectations that were impossible for me to
meet for myself. Was also putting the people around me
in positions of like we could never meet her expectations
of her or who we're supposed to be ooh, And
I had to really sit with that of like, why
are you hiding behind these arbitrary expectations?
Speaker 4 (33:57):
What conditioned you this way?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Right?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
And that took some grieving of who I was, That
took some understanding of how I was raised. That took
some grace for how black parents of a certain age
had to protect their children.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Right, and like what that looks like and what.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Happens in the church and all of these things I
had to work through to really stop judging myself and
release those expectations so I could release my expectations of
other people as well as let them embrace who I am.
And one of the things that I constantly say, I
(34:38):
would say it in relation to romantic relationships, but I
actually didn't realized that it was in relation to all
of my relationships.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
So I want to be in a.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Place where it feels safe to feel fully seen, to
be fully seen. But what requires that is some courage
to actually put yourself out there right woo, And so
I kept saying it, Debbie, and then I kept being
confronted with spaces to be seen and friendships and dating
and even in like workspaces, and I heard this little
(35:09):
word of but this is what you want it like, yeah,
we're getting rid of this judge and we're being fully seen.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
And it's been bumpy, but it's been so beautiful and rewarding, and.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
It's it's it really is the most special part. You know,
it's very.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Cringey when you're in the midst of it, like, oh
my god, how many times you make yourself cringe at yourself.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
You're like, oh god, girl, I wanted.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
To apologize, like ooh.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Mess. But then it's like, you know, and I don't
know if you feel this way, but you look back
years later.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
And it's a once in a lifetime thing when you're
in it, and it feels like forever when you're in
the midst of it, But then you miss it because
it's like, my god, the way you bloomed, like the
way you unfolded and unfurled and came to life, and
like you know, that perfect word, the way every time
(36:11):
you have.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
The courage to keep practicing.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Because when we ask God for something, especially to be
a better person, you actually have to get your reps up.
You have to get in all the opportunities for practice
that refine you.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Enough to be that.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
And it's like it's it's gnarly, but it's so special.
And then you're like, oh, I'm bringing all of my skills,
Like all of that I can bring into this too.
I'm not walking in like a little lamb, Like I
can walk in with the skills, with the insight, with
the depth that I've amassed and apply it to me.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Here you said refining. It makes me think about you know,
in the Bible they talk about it talks about us
being refined like gold, and so often we want God
to bring us to a certain place, but we don't
think about the going through, right, like you have to
go on the furnace to be refined is pure gold, right,
And that is actually really important And that journey I
(37:15):
used to want to run away from that tough journey.
But to your point, it's the reps. It's the getting
the reps in that eventually gets easier. And it reminds
you of I talk about proof points in here of
this is evidence that I can do these hard things. Yeah,
if I keep doing them, they may not get easier,
but you know what, they're less burden some I know
that I can overcome again. But what's on the other
(37:36):
side of all of that is so worth it. And
that is greater than any fear that I have or
any apprehension I have of that standing in the mirror
looking at myself when I don't want to. But what's
on the other side of that is worth that, And
getting to that refined, pure gold is worth going through
the furnace.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
So this book is just so important. It's just so important.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
And you know, as I think about the time that
it is coming out, and you know, just quickly, could
you even imagine, right if you didn't listen to that
call in twenty twenty and do all of that refinement
and we came to this moment as someone working in
government in the presidential world, It's like, I'd imagine that
(38:25):
would be a full shutdown.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Yeah, So, Debbie, I was at a coffee shop, my
favorite coffee shop in Arlington, Virginia, on a Saturday, doing
some edits and it was a huge that was a
huge political moment. It was the unfortunate rally where the
non president was there was an attempted assassination, and I
had a moment where and I'm getting all this pressure
(38:48):
from my editors is they're like, you're a little late
on these edits, and I said, it would be really
irresponsible for me to rush through a lot of this
with everything happening in the world right now. And I
don't address that specific incident in the book because I
don't want to give energy to that person, but it
made me reorient my mind as I was looking through
(39:11):
the edits, and God was very clear of like, yes,
you relate on those you understand. You wrote a book too,
You relate on those you relate because that's what they said.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
But this is the.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Time, like this is actually divinely orchestrated for you to
be doing these edits through this lens. And then you know,
a couple of weeks later, Vice President Harris becomes the nominee, right,
and then I'm working through my final edits in the
midst of all of that, and so just the lens
of these disruptions happening in the world and knowing that, Okay,
(39:47):
I'm going to close this book now before the election,
and it's coming out women's history month after the election,
how does this book work for either scenarios? And that
was my question. I said, Okay, God, I just trust you.
And had I not been obedient, I might have been
(40:09):
like scrambling to write a book right now that doesn't
really capture what we are all trying to navigate through,
which is trying to navigate ourselves in the midst of
trying to navigate this world and how those have to
work together, and giving people a space to understand that.
It set us to another that was in another interview
(40:31):
and they were asking how my soul is and how
my spirit is. I was like, it's optimistic and it's light,
and she said in all of this, I said, yes,
I understand the importance of maintaining a healthy soul. As
Alice Walker talks about maintaining a healthy soul in the
face of oppression. Yes, now more than ever, that is
imperative and that is our first tool of disruption. And
(40:51):
I want to give everyone that permission to cut out
the noise, cut out the distraction, stay informed, but really take.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Care of our souls.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
Get deeply wet well.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Yeah, to show up when we all get that phone
call of Okay, this is what we collectively have to do.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Yeah, mmmmmm mm hmmm. Yeah, it's time. It's time, It's time.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Deeply well, I am so excited about this book, so
excited what it will do for the hearts and the
minds and the spirits that connect to it and that
stay with the process. At the end of every episode,
I like to invite guests to share a piece of
(41:40):
soul work.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
With the audience.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
And this can look like a journal prompt or one
of your personal practices for self reclamation, but something that
everyone listening can utilize to really integrate and process everything
that they've just heard.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
So there's two things that I focus on. One is gratitude,
but like real gratitude, not just you know, oh I
love my meal today, but like thinking of something every
single day to have gratitude for. And I do that
in prayer, some people do that in journals. And then two,
I have learned to connect more with nature, and so
(42:18):
daily walks, even if it's for fifteen minutes, getting outside
in nature. Those are the two things. And they're so simple,
they don't cost any money. Yeah yeah, and we can
do them any almost any and everywhere, and they help
me in my practice to just stay in myself and
to stay well and to be in my spirit.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
That is really.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Such a perfect way to connect to regulation, you know,
and really connect to who you are. And as anyone
is listening, if there's ever moments when you hear some
of these techniques and you feel like you'd have anxiety
taking a walk by yourself, or you're like, it's not
pleasure to take a walk by myself, it's uncomfortable. That's
(43:02):
what the work is, that's the piece, that is the
work to do, and that's why you need the walk.
And as you continue to take that daily walk, those
parts of you soften, those parts of you lift, and
eventually it becomes a way for you to connect to
beauty and you're out there not in the anxiety of
your chest, or the boredom or the embarrassment or the awkwardness.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
It's like, uh wow, look at that tree. Oh feel
that wind m.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
You know, it's like you get to settle into the
truth of who you are on that walk.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
And you're mentioning this and walks without distractions. So when
I first started walking outside and you know, this was
starting to be part of like my daily or as
much as possible daily practice headphones in listening to music
or a podcasts or whatever it may be. And sometimes
I still do that, but I had to stop and say,
(44:01):
why am I distracting myself from my own voice?
Speaker 1 (44:04):
Yeah? What am I running from?
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:07):
And the more silence I have, Oh my gosh, there's
so many downloads I get back from my walks, and
I'm like, I have this amazing idea and like this,
I just work through this issue. There's so many things
that are so transformative. And the thing I love about,
whether it's a walk outside or just a practice of gratitude,
it allowed for me to let go of you know how,
(44:28):
there was like this period and even now, like there
are always like articles about my my morning routine for
an hour and I do X, Y and Z, these
rigid routines of self care, and I'm like, wait a minute,
it actually should be a bit more fluid, and I
shouldn't be in a space where I feel like I
don't feel good about myself because I didn't check off
a box of fifteen things to do every morning. What
(44:50):
are the two things that I can do every single day?
And even if I get up one morning because I overslept,
and I'm like rushing to whatever it may be. I
can It'll stop in my car for two minutes and
have a moment of gratitude. Yeah right, I can give
myself the grace that, you know what, The routine looks
a little different late today, But these are the two
things that you commit it to, and you can do
(45:11):
them anytime, anywhere, and it doesn't have to be so rigid.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Yeah, you gotta let the creativity in because that's what
God commands of us. It's creation even in our self
care practices. And you know too, to that point about
the headphones I always share with people put on. If
you put on music during your self care practice, let
it be a playlist you don't know, not your favorite songs,
not the songs you know by heart, because they're all
connected to memories and that keeps you filled, right, they're
(45:40):
all and they're connected to cellular memories, so it keeps
you full. But when you let the silence come in,
it's not just the silence, it is the synchronicity, the serendipity,
the co creation.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
With the world around you. Because you might hear a
bird chirping, right, which is a sound you may not be.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
Used to that leads you to a thought that leads
you to a feeling that So it's like it's letting
all of God's orchestra come online for you to really, yeah,
transform you in those beautifully small but important moments.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
So important. So I'm just thinking about now the paths
that I usually go on. I'm like, the old me
would have never recognized the beauty in all of this,
and then I'm recognizing the beauty and then I'm smiling
at people, I'm speaking to people. I'm building community.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Where your heartest softening, your hardest, becoming more open.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
And we need so much more of that in the world,
so much more. Honestly, I feel like we are where
we are in society because there's so many broken people
leading in spaces that quite frankly, they need to take
some time and actually heal themselves, which is you know,
part of also wrote what drove me to write this book.
I realize that there are so many people I would
(46:56):
be working with. We're supposed to be doing so much,
pouring so much good into the world, and yet we
were harming one another, yeah, because we were not well
within ourselves. And my God, I look at this leaders
who are making these inhumane decisions, and I'm like, Wow,
you weren't loved as a child, you were scared of yourself,
(47:16):
you were not healed. It's really sad. And so if
we can do that, imagine, I mean, we could do
that and inspire other people to do that. Just imagine
one turns into two, turns into ten, turns into a hundred,
turns into a thousand. That is such a beautiful act
of resistance.
Speaker 4 (47:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Yeah, And that's what the work is, and that's why
we all need to be doing it. Yeah, because even
someone gazing at you, not knowing you, your freedom frees them.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
They see it in you, It frees them, you know.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
And it's just profoundly, profoundly important work. And it's God's work. Alynsia,
thank you so much for joining me. Flip the tables
a Lindsia Johnson, get your copy, bring your journal along,
see where it lands, see what it invokes, connect it
(48:10):
to your process. Really grateful for your life, Grateful for
your answering of this call, and thank you for sharing
your wisdom.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Thank you, deb thank you for creating the space.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Deeply well hit us on, let me know how you're
connecting to this episode at Deeply Well pod at Debbie Brown.
Share this episode with a friend who needs to flip
some tables in their life. We'll be back next episode now, Mistay.
(48:43):
The content presented on Deeply Well serves solely for educational
and informational purposes. It should not be considered a replacement
for personalized medical or mental health guidance and does not
constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, it is advised
to consult with your healthcare provider or health team for
(49:03):
any specific concerns or questions that you may have. Connect
with me on social at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram,
or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot com.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
And if you're listening to the.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget. Please rate, review, and
subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply Well
is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network.
It's produced by Jacqueis Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown.
The Beautiful Soundbath You Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from
(49:38):
Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, he
Take a deep breath in through your nose. Holds it.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Now, release slowly.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Again deep in, helle.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to
my voice. I am deeply well. I am deeply well.
(01:22):
I am deeply I'm Debbie Brown and this is the
Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place
(01:45):
to land in your journey. A podcast for those that
are curious, creative, and ready to expand in higher consciousness
and self care. Thank you for joining us. This is
where we heal, this is where we become. I am
Debbie Brown. Welcome back to the Deeply Well Podcast. I
am so glad to have you here, and I think
(02:08):
gratefully now more than ever, so many in the world
are feeling that deep call, that deep little seed deep
within yourself, feeling the push to step into a more
expanded version of authenticity in your life. A lot of
questions are coming up for people inside of themselves as
(02:32):
the world seems to be spiraling in so many ways,
and we're realizing what truly matters and what really never did.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
So I'm so.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Excited this episode to dive even more deeply into that
thought and into that process with an absolutely incredible guest
Today Today's Guest. Alynsia Johnson is an award winning cultural commentator, author,
political advisor, and leader at the intersection of social impact
and cultural change. Uniquely experienced at marrying cultural cornerstones, advocacy, politics,
(03:11):
corporate and entertainment together for good. She is the founder
of ten sixty three West Broad, a social impact consultancy
and media company connecting brands, organizations, and people to purpose
driven solutions. Her debut book, Flip the Tables, The Everyday
(03:32):
Disruptor's Guide to Finding Courage and Making Change, is coming
out in just a few weeks, and maybe by the
time you hear this episode is already here, so wherever
we land, you can pre order it, or you can
order it for real.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
As you listen to this episode.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
She's worked for presidential campaigns of President Barack Obama, Senator
Elizabeth Warren, and was a senior advisor to President Biden
and Vice President Harris's twenty twenty campaign. Alyncia also held
national roles at Planned Parenthood and Geico, leading efforts in
each organization to address systemic issues facing marginalized communities through
(04:14):
brand engagement and narrative strategies. During her six years at
Planned Parenthood, she was one of the architects behind the
Stand with Black Women branding and framework, as well as
led the organization's election media strategies with Secretary Hillary Clinton's
presidential campaign. Alyncia has been recognized by Harvard University with
(04:35):
a Woman of the Year award, Ebony Magazine's Power one
hundred list of Influential African Americans, PR Week's forty Under
forty list, and more. Her board service includes the Warner
Music Group, Blevotnik Family Foundation, Social Justice Fund, as well
as Human Rights First, and she was appointed to the
Virginia Council on Women by Governor Ralph Northam. She is
(04:57):
currently a Georgetown University Institutes of Politics Fellow. Alyncia is
a sought after thought leader and cultural critic, regularly featured
on MSNBC, CNN, NBC, b ET, NPR, Washington Post, Essence,
Glamour and more.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Oo oit she.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Been doing work in the world. Welcome to the show, Lyncia.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
I am so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I remember I think this was either the first or
one of the first times we met this past year
in Florida at Kimberly Blackwell's incredible event that she puts
on every year for women elevate her and I remember You're.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Like, I love deeply well, and I was like, girl.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Yes, literally, I was like, oh my gosh, I love
deeply well. And then remember you were talking about use
the whole bag of epsom.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Saw, yes, use the whole bag sis, and that.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Really spoke to me because I love my EPs and
salt Babs and I felt so seen. So I was
so excited to see you there and finally meet you
and just what you bring in general to all of us,
but especially to that space of just boss business women
who really needed.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
To center themselves. So it's a great meeting.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Much thank you, thank you, thank you. You have quite
an offering coming to the world. I mean, wow, you know,
we just kind of I was able to really beautifully
list off such a gorgeous life that you've lived, and
a life that is really deeply rooted in service and impact,
but also it requires, right like, a life that big,
(06:35):
a life that meaningful, requires so much of you and
so many facets of who you are. And so you know,
when we spoke recently and I was so excited to
get a copy of your book, Flip the Tables.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
This cover is gorgeous. You know this is powerful.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Your book is called Flip the Tables, The Everyday Disruptor's
Guide to finding courage and can change.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
What gave you the call to write this book?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Now, when I think about where I was a few
years ago at the beginning of the pandemic, you read
my beautiful bio, and I have been so blessed to
have a career that I believe is creating impact and
teaching people how to disrupt in the world. And I
(07:30):
don't take lightly that God chose me to do all
of these things. And at the beginning of the pandemic,
that was after Senator Elizabeth Warren had ended her presidential
campaign and I decided to go stay with my parents.
As I said, I'm not staying in Boston by myself.
We don't know what's happening here with this pandemic. And
I wasn't working again yet, but I was just figuring
things out, which I know is a privilege. And I
(07:53):
had this download from God very clearly about one of
my favorite stories of Jesus when he went in the
temple and flipped over tables, hence the title of the book.
But I started interrogating that and thinking, well, what made
Jesus really so frustrated that he wanted to flip over
tables in the temple that's supposed to honor his father.
(08:14):
And then I went and even broad her and said, well,
wait a minute, what would make all of us get
to a place that we are willing to flip over
a table a proverbial table. And so I was really
wrestling with that throughout the pandemic the height of the pandemic,
while I was also in prayer, I had some prayer
circles with some girlfriends and really thinking about what I
(08:35):
wanted to do next. I was looking through my own life.
I was thinking about relationships and how for some reason
I was dating the same person but they were all
different guys.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
And I was like, well, why is this all the same?
And then why.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Why is the same? Why is this all the same
but none of them know each other?
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Oh my God?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
And then thinking about that always happens, which is why
we writing the book. I had to talk about some
of you know, my relationship, not struggles.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
But journeys.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, yeah, your experiences, my experiences.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
And then At the same time you listed off, you know,
you talked about all the things that had done in
my career. I was thinking about what I wanted to
do next and how I felt a little stifled, and
to be honest, I felt like I hadn't even reached
my fullest potential or was it even doing the things
that I wanted to do. Physically, I wasn't feeling the best.
I had gained a lot of weights and I lost
(09:32):
all of the amazing habits that I thought I had
picked up.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
There was just a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Happening in my own life, and.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
This question kept coming of how do I create impact
in the world. So it's the pandemic, the murder of
George Floyd, this election, so many things are happening. And
the answer to that question of how do I create
impact in the world, it starts with healing myself. And
I took myself through this journey. Now, mind you, I
(09:58):
did not know that that concept and idea was a book.
My agent shout out to Trinity. She reached out to
me at the end of twenty twenty, and I was like, sure,
I have a book in me said that didn't know
that this what I was going through was the actual book.
I knew it was called Flip the Tables, and I said, Okay, sure,
I'll write this guide book for people who want to
sow more good in the world, because I believe that
(10:20):
our purpose here on earth, when we are who we
are supposed to be, it actually is in service to
one another, right, it is in community, It is relational,
It is to advance society. But how do we get there, Well,
it starts to itself. And I had to go through
my own journey of disrupting myself and disrupting my vision
of what's possible and then disrupting my community. And so
it took two years to write the proposal, and then
(10:44):
it took a good year to actually write the book.
But it was so divinely orchestrated to happen at the
parallel time that I literally was taking myself through the
first part of this book, this disruption of self and
disruption of vision of what's possible, and God was like,
you have to be very vulnerable, especially as someone who
(11:05):
I know that so many people, especially black women, look
to me and see all of these amazing professional things
I've done, and here I am breaking down myself and
saying I'm not content. There are things I'm missing in life,
whether it's time with family or time with self right,
or having less time in the office and more time
(11:25):
to do frivolous things, things that bring me joy, things
that allow for me to rest right, things that will
heal me physically and spiritually. And so that's where it
came from. It's literally the book that I needed when
I was going through about of depression and anxiety at
the very beginning of the pandemic.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Absolutely, it's really powerful.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And you know, a friend of mine, a healer friend
of mine, something he had said to me years ago
is when God gives you the title for the book,
then the next few years are the book, you know.
And I feel like in myself in my process, it
very much was that, even though I had so much
to talk about already and so many life experiences, but
(12:09):
God is like, okay, good, now, let's get your middle. Now,
let's get this, let's find your ending to this book.
Let's bring your life together in a way that you
can embody everything that you are saying and teaching.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
To other people. And it takes you through that.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Really like beautiful and really hard and sometimes like very
anxiety filled and you know, tearful, yes, and.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Did experience literally you saying this, that is exactly what
it is, because that several points when I'm writing this book,
I'm like, yeah, girl, why didn't you just write a
book about the women's movement?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
What are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Because I was going through all of that. When I
was reading the audiobook, I was in tears. Yeah, mind you,
I'd written and edited and approved all of.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
This, read it ten times already.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah, I've sent it to people to get their feedback,
and I'm reading it and tears and even some of
the stuff is still challenging for me to read an
experience again. But it is my hope and the book
that we get to a place of understanding. But that's okay,
that's the process, right, Like it's actually a good thing
(13:18):
that you feel emotions about our experiences. But Debbie, it
took me so long to get there, especially I'm a
virgo type a person we like to run from our feelings.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
No, it's actually good to sit in that.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Yeah, not just good, it's like that's God's intention. Yeah,
you know, And I think that's what's so beautiful and
what you express really powerfully in the book. It's like
giving yourself that agency to not just be one thing. Right,
I don't have to be the perception that is crafted
or the version of me that everyone is kind of
projecting onto me. Like I am having my human experience
(13:52):
and it is faceted.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
It's so facinted, and it's fascinating.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Right, and it's something for us to interrogate. So I
have been in and out of therapy myentire most of
my life. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was fifteen.
I had a nervous breakdown and college and I talk
about some of this in the book, and so I've
been in and out of therapy for years. But it
finally took me sitting and saying, I have the tools already, Yeah,
(14:20):
go try this on your own. And you're not something.
You're not a problem that needs to be fixed. Yeah,
you are this complex, beautiful human to accept and embrace.
And that journey has been that's right, so much, but
it's been so rewarding and so powerful. Right, and that
(14:43):
the courage and the confidence that comes from that I
want all of us to experience.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, God, that's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
You know, it's so interesting. It's like in this day
and age. I mean, I think so many words get
really trendy, right like really fast, and we all seem
to have, in general, very different definitions for the words
many of us commonly use, right Like, the word love
is defined very differently by each of us, and many
(15:11):
of the words.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And I think one of the words now that.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
People can appropriate for whatever intention they want is the
word authenticity, right Like, I see some people using that
word as a way to kind of continue to promote
bad behavior because they're like, this is my authentic self.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And it's like, that's not really.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
What it is, right Like, what you're describing is what
the truth of authenticity is, right It's the peeling back
the layers. It's giving self permission to not fit or
and we never could not attempt to fit a perfect
right like being able to say I feel like crying,
so I will cry. I feel like yelling, so I
(15:57):
will yell today. Little depressed today, Wow, I feel really
powerful and ready to serve and use my skills. And
it's like, that's the heart of what it is to
be an authentic woman, to be, you know, a servant leader.
It's connecting all of that. Your book is centered around
(16:18):
the idea of disruption. Can you define what it means
to be a disruptor in today's world, especially for women
that are navigating this personal space and this professional space
and trying to find.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
A way to be who they really are in both.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
M I love that you led into that question with
what it truly means to be your authentic self because
for me and I spend a lot of time at
the beginning of the book defining disruption and reclaiming it
because I feel as though as we've been talking about
how words have shifted meaning right and they became a
buzzword and you would hear it in very business terms,
(16:56):
and to be honest, people involved with the book were like,
maybe you shouldn't actual put that on the book cover.
And for me, I had always danced with the word
because as someone who grew up my dad's a.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Pastor, I'm a Black Christian.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
And then also in this change making space, we embrace
the word disruption, but I had to really interrogate what
does that mean?
Speaker 4 (17:16):
For me?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
It is intentionally tearing something down to build something better.
And I imagine the Tasmanian Devil Loney tunes, right, he
was just going through town, barreling through with no plan,
no concept of why he's just destroying.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
That's not a disruptor.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
The disruptor understands that something can actually be a lot better.
And this is no longer serving us and women who
want to be disruptors. And I believe that we are
by nature right. Our very existence for the most part,
especially women of color, is disruptive. We know that when
we walk into a room with our authentic self, we
(17:58):
can shift the entire atmosphere. That might be what's something
we say, or who we bring to the table, or
whatever it may be. And so the first step of
disruption for me, and that's what I had to work
through in the book, is us having the courage to
be ourselves. And I intentionally use courage instead of fearless,
(18:18):
because sometimes that fear doesn't go away. Encourage reminds us
that there's something greater than our fear, and as a disruptor,
sometimes there's something greater than our fear that requires us
to shift the entire atmosphere, to flip over that perverbial
table to say, you know what, this isn't working. We
need to build something better. We may not know exactly
(18:39):
how we're going to do it. But that's the north
star and the goal. And it's also connected to the
fact that if I don't do this, if I don't
disrupt what's right in front of me, the person next
to me can't also do what they're supposed to be
doing because we're all connected, We're all interconnected.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, that is a really really powerful understanding to come
to because it's like, and it's why we all have
to use our gifts and do the work, you know,
do the work you've been avoiding.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
God requires it because it's like.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
If you don't become yourself, the people around you can't.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Now, if you don't do.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
What you're here to do, you're disrupting that chain, that
domino effect, and what isn't getting birth because you won't
be yourself?
Speaker 4 (19:26):
That's right?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
And how can I face God and not have used
the gifts that he has entrusted me with?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Right?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Like, how can I answer the question of did you
do what you were supposed to do.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
On this earth?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
If I stayed in my own way. One of my
good friends is I was working through my proposal, which
the proposal took longer than actually writing the book. I
had a good friend of mine. He would call me
like once a month and he would be like, how's
the proposal going, what's going on? And one day he
literally said, I want to see you're selfish? I said,
excuse me. He said, the world needs this book more
(20:04):
than you are, more than the roadblocks that you have
in your life. He said, we need this book, and
you are being selfish with what God has told you
to put out in the world. And when I tell
you that, that convicted me, and it pushed me to
a place of I'm crying through proposal notes. I'm like, God,
I don't know how I'm going to do this, But
(20:25):
in essence, I was living what I'm telling everyone to live.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah, that, Oh, something bigger than me, bigger than my fear,
is requiring me to go forward and do this.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Okay, everybody listening, take a breath, Sit with that for
a second. We'll revisit this later in that episode. But
where are you being selfish? Where are you not listening?
Where are you not doing what you're called to do?
(20:58):
I you know, I think we're another one of those times.
Because there are years of activations that happen on this
planet really intentionally. This is what I've observed within my
spiritual awakening. There are different activation points that happen every
so amount of years, right where the people that need
(21:22):
to speak, the people that need to teach, are activated
and activated in new ways. And I identified for myself
like twenty ten, twenty twelve, twenty sixteen, twenty twenty, and
now this moment twenty twenty five feels to me where
I've kind of observed in my own process and and
(21:42):
seeing other people who have birthed the important works that
these were years that have been really important to humanity.
And I remember when twenty twenty first came and it
was already working in wellness and all the things, but
God gave me this this sentence that I started posing
(22:03):
with my students, and I started putting on social media,
which was who are you being called to become?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
And I had launched this program called the Divine Timeout
because I remember this second I heard the pandemic orders
come down, I was like, Oh, this is an opportunity.
People are about to become themselves. People are going to
get to sit with the truth of who and what
they are in the best ways and in the really
challenging ways, and they're going to be able to emerge
(22:30):
from whatever this container is. Hopefully if you do the work,
if you sit in it, if you be with it,
there is profound opportunity to come to the other side
of this isolation and these home orders as who you
are actually meant to be.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
And it's yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Just really powerful because it's like, though, I know you
have had a very layered life, and I'm certain God
has spoken to you about so many things, so many times.
But it's interesting because if we look at what I'm
trying to really spotlight is the importance of listening when you.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Hear it, right, Because you heard this book.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
In twenty twenty, you then spent time becoming who you
needed to be to birth this in the way that
would free and unlock people. And right now, in this
year of twenty our lord, twenty twenty five, my god,
my god, my god, my god, the world is changing
(23:34):
and we have to get really freaking clear. And so
your awakening and you listening when you need it to
is now coming into this moment five years later, which is,
dare I say, one of the most pivotal moments in
human history. Yes, one of the most pivotal moments in
human history and at the bare minimum, one of the
(23:56):
most pivotal moments in this country.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And now there are resources and tools for who's ready to.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Be awakened right now to then pass the baton to
continue the work. So it is so important that you listen.
It is so important that you listen and.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Do do your work. Do your work.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Yeah, Debbie, I'm like feeling and receiving everything that you're saying,
because I'm about to get emotional. If I hadn't been obedient, yeah, right, Like,
if I had not been obedient and the going through
and the facing myself and the being honest with myself
(24:42):
in ways that quite frankly, even my loved ones at
the time couldn't understand. Right, And thank god, I have
so many friends and family who were.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
Like, I don't get this, but I support you. Whatever
this journey is that you're on, I support you.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
But if I wasn't obedient, this book wouldn't be coming
out at a time when people are looking for a
guy to navigate and a guy that gives them permission
to actually go inward a bit before you face the world. Right, Like,
there's a whole section disruption of community that talks about
ways that we can seemingly small ways that actually help
(25:18):
with disruption. But it's the going through in our journey first.
And I write a little bit about something that you
said about how the pandemic was an opportunity, and that's
what I felt too. I said, Okay, thank you God
that I can hang out with my parents for several
months and I can work from home, and they're retired,
(25:38):
so we had our base level of needs met that
we could actually take that time and really have conversations
that were needed. I could focus on myself in ways
that I hadn't before.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I can.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
I could realize that, you know what, I don't need
to achieve anything else. I say that as I'm putting
a book out, But yeah, I don't need to achieve
anything else. I don't need to fly across the country
every other week because I need to be at this
meeting or be in the mix. I actually want to
go hiking with my friends. I actually want to want
to I want to want to build a life, YEA,
(26:11):
a life that quite frankly devy in the going through
over these years. There was a moment, and I'm just
so blessed that as an entrepreneur, I have been successful.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
I immediately got all of.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
The are you building this big agency and how much
money are you raising? And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait,
that's not actually what I want to do, Like I
want the freedom of time, and there's a way that
I can do this that serves me.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
So I was pushing against that.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
And then I was in my new place at the time,
and beautiful place, had all the clothes, all the things,
and I remember sitting in my bedroom outside of my
closet and I was like, this is great, but like,
am I really happy? Like am I really happy with
all of the things, with all of the accolade?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Am I really happy here?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
And that breaking down help get this book, and it
got me to a place of you know, when the
world opened up, there are a lot of people, people
that we know, who got immediately back into their pre
pandemic selves, on flights, at events, doing all the things,
and I'm like, have we not learned our lessons?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I was actually shocked me to.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
See how many people instantly went back to that, and
I was like, wow, I thought I thought that was
going to bring a little more.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah, but you know what, I think some of it
is DeBie is. So many of us are scared to
sit with ourselves. We are running from ourselves.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
It's the hardest thing. It's the hardest thing, the hard
That's what the work of our lives is. It is.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah, and I stopped being scared of myself. I'm like, Wow,
you were scared of yourself. Like to sit with yourself.
It's okay to cry, It's okay to be angry, It's
okay that this childhood trauma that happened to you when
you were six years old, it still impacts you. That's
reminding you that you are human. Right Like, I actually
(28:00):
don't want to be numb to emotions. And again for
me as a virgo to say that that is a
lot to not be numb to my emotions. And again,
if I wasn't obedient, I always want to be in
a place where I can hear God, whether clearly or
through signs. And something that came to me even before
the pandemic was that I don't actually want a full plate,
(28:24):
because if I have a full plate, that means not
only isn't there if there isn't room for me to
do some of the things that I want to do,
but there's also no room for God to use me
in the ways that He needs me to be. You
have to you have to have space, and I have
been pushing and creating that space. And I want to
give us all the permission to do that because to
(28:46):
your other point about this moment we're in, especially right
now as a country and as a world, we have
to have the space to show up in community, to
do what we need to do to get us to
the other side of that together.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
Deeply.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Well, you know so interesting to me about you know,
creating the spaces.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I talk with so many people about this. You know,
so many people that fl fil fill phil fill their
lives or.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Always like making these plans or even having these you know,
and this is not sometimes this serves purpose.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
But when we're overly attached to goals.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Or building out these like long timelines of how life
should go for me, that really illustrates a deep lack
of faith in God, a deep lack of faith in
your life. Because when you are faithful, you get the message,
you get the call, and then you create the space
for it because you know you're not meant to carry
(29:49):
all of it or understand all of it right away,
especially when you're building something you haven't been yet. So
it's like taking some of that pressure off to make
this space to let God move in your life and
actually build what is desired, because it is in service
to more than just you and to other people. But
(30:10):
if you find yourself and I'm saying this for whoever
needs it listening right now, you know, if you find
yourself looking to fill every single inch of your time,
there's something to look at. Yeah, you know something, something
needs your attention within yourself, and it's time to start
investigating your relationship with your nervous system and your relationship
(30:34):
with the need to be distracted at all times.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
And that's the work that I end up having to do.
And even now when I go through bouts of I
feel like my career is in sprints, Like there are
short spurts where it's like extremely busy and chaotic, and
then it kind of levels out to the point where
sometimes I'm bored. But I've learned to sit in boredom
with nothing to do. But in those chaotic times, I
found that I have to cling closer to myself and
(31:02):
create the space to meditate, to pray, to get in
deeper relationship with my maker, because that is what's going
to help me navigate that right. And you mentioned lack
of faith, and I write about that in the book.
There's a chapter called sometimes the Red Flags. You and
I had to really list out all of the things
(31:24):
that I was doing to get in my own way,
and one of those things was having a lack of faith.
And I was apologizing to God. I was like, oh
my God, how am I doubting you? And then I realized, well,
if you gave me the vision, then I just have
to trust that it's going to happen, that it's all
going to fall into place. And the more that I surrender,
(31:47):
I surrender my thought process on how it's supposed to
work out. I surrender against what everyone else says. The
easier it is to actually walk in what I'm supposed
to be doing right, the easier it is to be obedient.
But that lack of faith piece. I had to wrestle
with that for a lot because I was constantly questioning
(32:08):
why certain things weren't working out, trying to figure out things,
and I kept hearing, but do you trust me? And
I was like, oh, right, I have to learn to
trust you, and I have to accept who I am
today and have the courage to walk into spaces to
put ideas out there, trusting that if I've been called here,
(32:28):
it is actually going to work out the way that
it's supposed to.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yes, yes, yes, As you were diving into some of
those inner chambers of who you were, what surprised you
the most?
Speaker 3 (32:45):
M one of the things that really surprised me, and
I had a therapist work with me on this. It's
how harsh I was with myself and can still be right.
I had a therapist who she said to me, one time, you.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Go to law school.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
And I was like, no, girl, Like, what are you
asking me this for? And she said, there's this judge
in here. And I didn't think that that was your career,
but I just wanted.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
To make sure.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
And I was like, ooh, the read okay, okay. And
so she would constantly point out there's that judge because
I would use the words should or I should.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
Be doing this, or they should be.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
And what was reflected back onto me was how I
had such high expectations of myself. And I've worked through
the difference between expectations and standards.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
I can have high.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Standards, but these expectations that were impossible for me to
meet for myself. Was also putting the people around me
in positions of like we could never meet her expectations
of her or who we're supposed to be ooh, And
I had to really sit with that of like, why
are you hiding behind these arbitrary expectations?
Speaker 4 (33:57):
What conditioned you this way?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Right?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
And that took some grieving of who I was, That
took some understanding of how I was raised. That took
some grace for how black parents of a certain age
had to protect their children.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Right, and like what that looks like and what.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Happens in the church and all of these things I
had to work through to really stop judging myself and
release those expectations so I could release my expectations of
other people as well as let them embrace who I am.
And one of the things that I constantly say, I
(34:38):
would say it in relation to romantic relationships, but I
actually didn't realized that it was in relation to all
of my relationships.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
So I want to be in a.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Place where it feels safe to feel fully seen, to
be fully seen. But what requires that is some courage
to actually put yourself out there right woo, And so
I kept saying it, Debbie, and then I kept being
confronted with spaces to be seen and friendships and dating
and even in like workspaces, and I heard this little
(35:09):
word of but this is what you want it like, yeah,
we're getting rid of this judge and we're being fully seen.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
And it's been bumpy, but it's been so beautiful and rewarding, and.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
It's it's it really is the most special part. You know,
it's very.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Cringey when you're in the midst of it, like, oh
my god, how many times you make yourself cringe at yourself.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
You're like, oh god, girl, I wanted.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
To apologize, like ooh.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Mess. But then it's like, you know, and I don't
know if you feel this way, but you look back
years later.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
And it's a once in a lifetime thing when you're
in it, and it feels like forever when you're in
the midst of it, But then you miss it because
it's like, my god, the way you bloomed, like the
way you unfolded and unfurled and came to life, and
like you know, that perfect word, the way every time
(36:11):
you have.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
The courage to keep practicing.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Because when we ask God for something, especially to be
a better person, you actually have to get your reps up.
You have to get in all the opportunities for practice
that refine you.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Enough to be that.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
And it's like it's it's gnarly, but it's so special.
And then you're like, oh, I'm bringing all of my skills,
Like all of that I can bring into this too.
I'm not walking in like a little lamb, Like I
can walk in with the skills, with the insight, with
the depth that I've amassed and apply it to me.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Here you said refining. It makes me think about you know,
in the Bible they talk about it talks about us
being refined like gold, and so often we want God
to bring us to a certain place, but we don't
think about the going through, right, like you have to
go on the furnace to be refined is pure gold, right,
And that is actually really important And that journey I
(37:15):
used to want to run away from that tough journey.
But to your point, it's the reps. It's the getting
the reps in that eventually gets easier. And it reminds
you of I talk about proof points in here of
this is evidence that I can do these hard things. Yeah,
if I keep doing them, they may not get easier,
but you know what, they're less burden some I know
that I can overcome again. But what's on the other
(37:36):
side of all of that is so worth it. And
that is greater than any fear that I have or
any apprehension I have of that standing in the mirror
looking at myself when I don't want to. But what's
on the other side of that is worth that, And
getting to that refined, pure gold is worth going through
the furnace.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
So this book is just so important. It's just so important.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
And you know, as I think about the time that
it is coming out, and you know, just quickly, could
you even imagine, right if you didn't listen to that
call in twenty twenty and do all of that refinement
and we came to this moment as someone working in
government in the presidential world, It's like, I'd imagine that
(38:25):
would be a full shutdown.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Yeah, So, Debbie, I was at a coffee shop, my
favorite coffee shop in Arlington, Virginia, on a Saturday, doing
some edits and it was a huge that was a
huge political moment. It was the unfortunate rally where the
non president was there was an attempted assassination, and I
had a moment where and I'm getting all this pressure
(38:48):
from my editors is they're like, you're a little late
on these edits, and I said, it would be really
irresponsible for me to rush through a lot of this
with everything happening in the world right now. And I
don't address that specific incident in the book because I
don't want to give energy to that person, but it
made me reorient my mind as I was looking through
(39:11):
the edits, and God was very clear of like, yes,
you relate on those you understand. You wrote a book too,
You relate on those you relate because that's what they said.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
But this is the.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Time, like this is actually divinely orchestrated for you to
be doing these edits through this lens. And then you know,
a couple of weeks later, Vice President Harris becomes the nominee, right,
and then I'm working through my final edits in the
midst of all of that, and so just the lens
of these disruptions happening in the world and knowing that, Okay,
(39:47):
I'm going to close this book now before the election,
and it's coming out women's history month after the election,
how does this book work for either scenarios? And that
was my question. I said, Okay, God, I just trust you.
And had I not been obedient, I might have been
(40:09):
like scrambling to write a book right now that doesn't
really capture what we are all trying to navigate through,
which is trying to navigate ourselves in the midst of
trying to navigate this world and how those have to
work together, and giving people a space to understand that.
It set us to another that was in another interview
(40:31):
and they were asking how my soul is and how
my spirit is. I was like, it's optimistic and it's light,
and she said in all of this, I said, yes,
I understand the importance of maintaining a healthy soul. As
Alice Walker talks about maintaining a healthy soul in the
face of oppression. Yes, now more than ever, that is
imperative and that is our first tool of disruption. And
(40:51):
I want to give everyone that permission to cut out
the noise, cut out the distraction, stay informed, but really take.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Care of our souls.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
Get deeply wet well.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Yeah, to show up when we all get that phone
call of Okay, this is what we collectively have to do.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Yeah, mmmmmm mm hmmm. Yeah, it's time. It's time, It's time.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Deeply well, I am so excited about this book, so
excited what it will do for the hearts and the
minds and the spirits that connect to it and that
stay with the process. At the end of every episode,
I like to invite guests to share a piece of
(41:40):
soul work.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
With the audience.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
And this can look like a journal prompt or one
of your personal practices for self reclamation, but something that
everyone listening can utilize to really integrate and process everything
that they've just heard.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
So there's two things that I focus on. One is gratitude,
but like real gratitude, not just you know, oh I
love my meal today, but like thinking of something every
single day to have gratitude for. And I do that
in prayer, some people do that in journals. And then two,
I have learned to connect more with nature, and so
(42:18):
daily walks, even if it's for fifteen minutes, getting outside
in nature. Those are the two things. And they're so simple,
they don't cost any money. Yeah yeah, and we can
do them any almost any and everywhere, and they help
me in my practice to just stay in myself and
to stay well and to be in my spirit.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
That is really.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Such a perfect way to connect to regulation, you know,
and really connect to who you are. And as anyone
is listening, if there's ever moments when you hear some
of these techniques and you feel like you'd have anxiety
taking a walk by yourself, or you're like, it's not
pleasure to take a walk by myself, it's uncomfortable. That's
(43:02):
what the work is, that's the piece, that is the
work to do, and that's why you need the walk.
And as you continue to take that daily walk, those
parts of you soften, those parts of you lift, and
eventually it becomes a way for you to connect to
beauty and you're out there not in the anxiety of
your chest, or the boredom or the embarrassment or the awkwardness.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
It's like, uh wow, look at that tree. Oh feel
that wind m.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
You know, it's like you get to settle into the
truth of who you are on that walk.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
And you're mentioning this and walks without distractions. So when
I first started walking outside and you know, this was
starting to be part of like my daily or as
much as possible daily practice headphones in listening to music
or a podcasts or whatever it may be. And sometimes
I still do that, but I had to stop and say,
(44:01):
why am I distracting myself from my own voice?
Speaker 1 (44:04):
Yeah? What am I running from?
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:07):
And the more silence I have, Oh my gosh, there's
so many downloads I get back from my walks, and
I'm like, I have this amazing idea and like this,
I just work through this issue. There's so many things
that are so transformative. And the thing I love about,
whether it's a walk outside or just a practice of gratitude,
it allowed for me to let go of you know how,
(44:28):
there was like this period and even now, like there
are always like articles about my my morning routine for
an hour and I do X, Y and Z, these
rigid routines of self care, and I'm like, wait a minute,
it actually should be a bit more fluid, and I
shouldn't be in a space where I feel like I
don't feel good about myself because I didn't check off
a box of fifteen things to do every morning. What
(44:50):
are the two things that I can do every single day?
And even if I get up one morning because I overslept,
and I'm like rushing to whatever it may be. I
can It'll stop in my car for two minutes and
have a moment of gratitude. Yeah right, I can give
myself the grace that, you know what, The routine looks
a little different late today, But these are the two
things that you commit it to, and you can do
(45:11):
them anytime, anywhere, and it doesn't have to be so rigid.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Yeah, you gotta let the creativity in because that's what
God commands of us. It's creation even in our self
care practices. And you know too, to that point about
the headphones I always share with people put on. If
you put on music during your self care practice, let
it be a playlist you don't know, not your favorite songs,
not the songs you know by heart, because they're all
connected to memories and that keeps you filled, right, they're
(45:40):
all and they're connected to cellular memories, so it keeps
you full. But when you let the silence come in,
it's not just the silence, it is the synchronicity, the serendipity,
the co creation.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
With the world around you. Because you might hear a
bird chirping, right, which is a sound you may not be.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
Used to that leads you to a thought that leads
you to a feeling that So it's like it's letting
all of God's orchestra come online for you to really, yeah,
transform you in those beautifully small but important moments.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
So important. So I'm just thinking about now the paths
that I usually go on. I'm like, the old me
would have never recognized the beauty in all of this,
and then I'm recognizing the beauty and then I'm smiling
at people, I'm speaking to people. I'm building community.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Where your heartest softening, your hardest, becoming more open.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
And we need so much more of that in the world,
so much more. Honestly, I feel like we are where
we are in society because there's so many broken people
leading in spaces that quite frankly, they need to take
some time and actually heal themselves, which is you know,
part of also wrote what drove me to write this book.
I realize that there are so many people I would
(46:56):
be working with. We're supposed to be doing so much,
pouring so much good into the world, and yet we
were harming one another, yeah, because we were not well
within ourselves. And my God, I look at this leaders
who are making these inhumane decisions, and I'm like, Wow,
you weren't loved as a child, you were scared of yourself,
(47:16):
you were not healed. It's really sad. And so if
we can do that, imagine, I mean, we could do
that and inspire other people to do that. Just imagine
one turns into two, turns into ten, turns into a hundred,
turns into a thousand. That is such a beautiful act
of resistance.
Speaker 4 (47:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Yeah, And that's what the work is, and that's why
we all need to be doing it. Yeah, because even
someone gazing at you, not knowing you, your freedom frees them.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
They see it in you, It frees them, you know.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
And it's just profoundly, profoundly important work. And it's God's work. Alynsia,
thank you so much for joining me. Flip the tables
a Lindsia Johnson, get your copy, bring your journal along,
see where it lands, see what it invokes, connect it
(48:10):
to your process. Really grateful for your life, Grateful for
your answering of this call, and thank you for sharing
your wisdom.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Thank you, deb thank you for creating the space.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Deeply well hit us on, let me know how you're
connecting to this episode at Deeply Well pod at Debbie Brown.
Share this episode with a friend who needs to flip
some tables in their life. We'll be back next episode now, Mistay.
(48:43):
The content presented on Deeply Well serves solely for educational
and informational purposes. It should not be considered a replacement
for personalized medical or mental health guidance and does not
constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, it is advised
to consult with your healthcare provider or health team for
(49:03):
any specific concerns or questions that you may have. Connect
with me on social at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram,
or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot com.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
And if you're listening to the.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget. Please rate, review, and
subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply Well
is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network.
It's produced by Jacqueis Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown.
The Beautiful Soundbath You Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from
(49:38):
Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, he
Host
Devi Brown
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