April 3, 2025 • 44 mins
In this tender and profoundly personal episode of Deeply Well, Devi opens up about her healing journey — one shaped by chronic pain, quiet revelations, and the lessons only pain can teach. This is a story about more than just physical discomfort; it’s about the emotional and spiritual unfolding that happens when life asks us to slow down and listen.
Devi shares the moments that transformed her, the power of gratitude even when things feel heavy, and the profound support that comes from being held in community. Although the path hasn’t been easy, it is filled with rich reminders that pain is the undefeated teacher.
Together, we reflect on the beauty that can be found in our hardest seasons and the patience it takes to truly heal. If you’re navigating pain of any kind—physical, emotional, or spiritual. This episode is a gentle invitation to feel seen, to find support, and to remember that you’re not alone.
Let this be a space where healing feels possible. Let this be your reminder to speak your truth, reach out, and allow others to walk with you because there is joy in vulnerability, allowing others to show up, and in making your health a priority, even if it may be painful.
Connect @DeviBrown @DeeplyWellPod
Learn More and Pre-Order Devi's New Book, "Living in Wisdom" DeviBrown.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Keeps to the planet.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God. And
guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman
Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions,
may DyB and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and
B Money podcast. We're taking Jay Valentine. We got the
Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got
(00:22):
Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with
her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast, with
more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses
plus the food truck court to keep you fed.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
While you visit us.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap
in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot
Com Flash Podcast Festival.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Take a deep in through your nose. Holds it now,
release slowly again deep in haale hold release, repeating internally
(01:33):
to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am
deeply well I am deeply Well. I am deeply Wow.
(02:00):
I'm Debbie Brown, and this is the Deeply Well Podcast.
Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on
your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative,
and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care.
(02:25):
This is where we heal, this is where we transcend.
Welcome back to Deeply Well. I am Debbie Brown. I
have to say first and foremost, I mean, We're gonna
have a good check in this episode. I have so
many thoughts on so many things that are happening. I'm
going to share a little bit of my current journey
with you, but I also just want to say thank
(02:47):
you so so much to everyone that has been dming
me with get well soon wishes. It is just meant
the world it has been. I have been reading just
some of the kindest, most thoughtful, sweetest things and just
really beautiful intention People have voice noted me prayers, which
is just like, uh, expanding my spirit and my heart.
(03:10):
So from the deepest part of me, just thank you
so much for everyone that listens to the show or
connects with my work in some way, that has reached out,
that has been following along with the physical medical journey
that I have been on this season of the show,
so love y'all so much, and feeling deeply seen and
deeply grateful. So I guess let's start there, all right,
(03:33):
y'all life lately, so I where do I even begin?
And it's so interesting just the timing of all of this.
It's so spiritually fascinating and spiritually aligned. But right as
I'm getting ready to birth my book, Living in Wisdom,
(03:54):
which is available for pre order now and available everywhere
in the world April twenty second, twenty twenty five and
on audible all the places. You know, this book was
in my body and in my spirit for over five
years to write, and it took me two years to
(04:14):
write it. And you know, in the midst of that time,
so much life was happening and so much healing was happening,
and then so much of writing a book is kind
of being in the waiting game, right like you you
might announce your book two years before it sees the
light of day because there's certain production deadlines, marketing deadlines,
(04:37):
figuring out the right time to release it. So my
book has been like done, done, done, ready to go
for about a year and now I'm so excited it
shall be here soon. But it's been really interesting kind
of settling into this injury that I have and this
surgery that I had to have, and kind of looking
(05:00):
at the universe, like, why is this happening? I had
all this time? Why is this happening? A few weeks
before I met to go on a book tour, meant
to share, you know, some of the deepest parts of
my heart and the deepest parts of my work with
the world. And so I want to share some really
beautiful insights I've been having around that, around the beauty
(05:23):
and pain and the patience that can be found in
pain that I want to expand in on this episode.
But all right, we're in it. So for those that
have been following along, I have been really wrestling. I
live with chronic pain, and I have for several decades
chronic back pain, neck pain, some chronic injuries since childhood,
(05:49):
and so pain physical pain has been a part of
my life since I can remember. And for those that
are also on this journey, which so much love to
those that are also on this journe, it's a very
specific kind of journey to be on when you live
with chronic pain one that is very hard to understand
(06:10):
sometimes by people that may that may not be their
road to learning. But pain has been a big teacher
in my life and many many, many, many, many, many
many ways, and physical pain has been one of them.
And so when you have physical pain, chronic pain, when
you also were someone that has bared witness to a
(06:33):
lot of hard things or have had a lot of
complex lived experiences, you also take on quite a resilience
that grows your pain tolerance. I have always known that
I have had a pretty astronomical pain tolerance, and I
can sit on the bottom of the ocean at any
(06:56):
time with anyone. And so this last year has been
really transformative for me, and I've been expressing this, i
think in some ways on the show over time, but
learning what that really is on a spiritual level and
(07:18):
knowing that now is my time thinks entirely to the
guidance of God, that now is my time to challenge
my beliefs and my experiences that I've had with and
around physical pain. So being on a healing journey is
(07:39):
so astounding for so many reasons, and it's just so
faceted and so incredibly beautiful. To be present with because
you will find that you are constantly invited to witness
and review and challenge certain things that you have learned
(08:02):
and release, but in new dimensions and in new facets
of your life. And I've shared this before. When God
brings you to a healing, when the universe brings you
to a healing, you will be invited to then revisit
and be in practice with that healing and all the
categories of your life that it may show up right.
And so for many, many years, I have been in
(08:22):
deep initiation with healing emotional pain, with healing spiritual pain,
and karmic pain. Those have been massive themes in my
life for eons and for many years in this lifetime.
And now I'm being asked to get into the fibers
of the healing of my physical pains. And it's been
(08:47):
really beautiful to be in that, a lot of curiosity
for it. It's been hard to and challenging, draining, painful,
but beautiful to be in the observation of my physical pain.
When healing emotional pain and spiritual pain and mental pain
(09:08):
is no longer something that is present, so there is
a clarity, there is an opening, there is a deeper
presence within which I'm being invited to be with my
body now that some of that other work not only
is done but has been dissolved. So that's been feeling special.
And I kind of say this now with this much
(09:30):
description because I know how tiring healing can be. And
for those that connect with this show and that are
on their own journey, you come to know, or I
invite you to know that this is coming, that it
really is kind of like this. And when you're in
(09:52):
a slump with your healing or in what feels like
a lower point, rest and recover and just be present
with that, because you'll be called to do it more
and more. You'll be called to release more and more.
But when you're in the fatigue of your healing, don't
fight through it and try to superheal, and don't try
to work on yourself even more to push through. That's
(10:15):
when you're in recovery mode. That's when you're in rest mode.
So give that space to yourself and then know that
you'll be invited to explore it again and again in
all the ways. And I think eventually you come into
a space of it being really purely observational and you
get to learn through observation of self or others, and
(10:38):
you don't always have to learn through firsthand experience, but
the first hand learning is always first. So this year
and this season of the show, part of what I
have been working through as someone who has had lifelong
chronic pain and autoimmune is that I've been learning my
(10:59):
limits in new ways, especially as this beautifully bloomed, healed,
present version of myself. And so about five years ago,
I retained an injury in my left shoulder and I
(11:20):
remember being in pain at the time, like a lot
of pain for many weeks, many months after this injury
happened to me took place, and it was the very
beginning of the pandemic, and I had a just turned
two year old, And as someone that is used to
(11:42):
always being challenged and kind of pushing through physical pain
and not really talking about it, because those on this
journey know at some point it gets exhausting for other
people to hear about It's present in your body every
second of every day. But at a certain point there's
no need to talk about it anymore, bring it up,
especially when you know you can't do anything to change
(12:03):
it per se or you just see kind of on
the faces or in the attitudes of people in your
life that you know they've heard it a lot, and
so you just hold it in and you keep moving
and people don't know. And so many people in my
life never knew that I had this battle that would
sometimes mean that I have to cancel things, or I
(12:25):
can't show up, I can't come. I think in younger
versions of my life, this was confusing for me and
others because people there were a couple projections from some
people in my younger life that you know, not being
out in the club or on the scene, was you know,
(12:45):
me being above or aloof or whatever whatever people think
about whatever, And it was really just you may not
know that, Like, I'm in a lot of pain today
and I can't I can't put those shoes on, or
I can't be out without kind of suffering a little,
so I'll stay in. And so when I got that
injury five years ago, I was in a lot of
(13:08):
pain and I couldn't fully use this arm, but I
just kept going. And you couldn't really get into doctors
at the time because it was the pandemic. So life
passes on. I learned to ic it regularly and move on.
And then eventually your body overcompensates and the injury becomes
different or the flare ups become less and less, and
you move on. So I fit this shoulder injury into
(13:32):
the system of my body, which says, yeah, so every
day you have a little pain, keep going, and forgot
all about it. This past November, which I talked about
on this show, I had a massive, massive, massive flare
up in my body and it happened through I think
it happened through a workout I was doing, and it
(13:53):
was only holding a ten pound weight, but I felt
something change in my body. And now the pain was back,
and it was back worse than I could ever imagine.
Like there was so little I could do with this arm,
and so I started using a lot of my biohacking.
I started getting regular infrared light therapy on this arm,
(14:17):
regular acupuncture just on this shoulder. I started going to
rehab facility and trying to meet this need on my own,
and it helped a lot. It gave me the movement
back in my arm. So then I was like, all right,
I'm back at it. I'm gonna go. And then this
past November, when I was actually going to Mexico to
speak at summit. I got hit with this deep wave
(14:39):
of exhaustion and so much pain in my back and
in my shoulder that I lost the ability to walk
for a few days. And so I was grounded in
Mexico and I couldn't leave, and I had to just recover.
I had to surrender, surrender, surrender to recovering in another
country and finding childcare from us and figuring it out.
(15:02):
And so what was really revolutionary about that moment for
me was it was the first time that I was
like time to lock back into Western medicine. I had
only I hadn't gone to really any Western doctors with
the exception of my obgyn when my son was born,
in over a decade, and so I reached out to friends.
(15:23):
I kind of put the signal up, I need help,
and I got in with a lot of specialists. So
I got in with the pain specialists, with a back specialist,
with a shoulder specialist, with a new doctor. And the
last several months I've just been in and out of
different testings and getting different information about my injuries and
about my body. And I won't get into all the
(15:46):
particulars of all the things it's just too much. But
I got a lot of answers. I got a lot
of answers that have shaken me, but have also been
I'm just thrilled to have a name for things. I'm
just thrilled to know more about things. And there's been
a lot of grief and healing that has come through that,
(16:08):
but it's it's actually been really inspiring for me. And
so a couple months ago I went and I finally
got all the MRIs I needed on my bones, my spine,
and on my shoulder. And what the findings were was
that on this left shoulder I had a full tear
(16:30):
through my rotator cuff, and so I was going to
need to go in get some muscle grafting done, get
some bone shavings done, and get you a real repair here.
And I went in for surgery nearly two weeks ago
and did just that. I had the surgery that I needed.
(16:51):
My doctor said I needed to get it pretty quickly.
He felt very strongly that I should not go on
my book tour without getting this because it was deteriorating
quite a bit and that it may be harder or
get a greater injury if I decided to do that. So,
I mean, obviously everything happens for a reason, and I
(17:15):
believe in divine alignment. Nothing for me will miss me.
But it is kind of a heavy load if you
have been planning for something for a year and then
all of that has to change, like right leading up
to it, like a few weeks before it kicks off.
It has to change and you have to kind of
get prepared to really focus on something else. So that's
(17:38):
kind of been where my head is. And what has
been really interesting in the healing of this, which has
brought so much grace for myself, is I had my
follow up appointment with my surgeon and he had all
the images printed out for me, right, which I'm like, ill, gross,
Like I don't want to see the inside of my shoulder.
(18:01):
And one of the things that he said to me,
and mind you for those that follow sports, like this
is like a season ending injury. And I'm like, I'm
a meditation teacher, why do I have a season ending
injury in my body? But when he was walking me
through the images and talking to me about how surgery went,
one of the things that he said was that this
(18:22):
is one of the worst cases of this injury that
he's seen, and he went on to show me images
of how bad this injury was, and I mean it
was gnarly, like there I had. I had a huge
hole in my tissues and in my muscles. I was
completely detached. And you know, something he said to me
is like, how have you just been living with this?
(18:45):
Like when did this pain first start? I'm like five
years ago and he was like, how have you been
living like this? And it was just so interesting to
have that reflected back to me and to kind of
really think of that. It did not occur to me
to rest. It did not occur to me to get
bigger medical treatment. It did not occur to me to
really seek help. It's just my instant feeling was more pain.
(19:09):
You know what to do with this? Add it to
the list, keep going right. And so just like the
kind of validation of someone else kind of looking at
you and being like, woman, what is going on? And
you know you have such a gentle life, like why
were you carrying this load? But surgery went well and
(19:32):
I'm healing and I will have this thing on from
a book tour, which I did not want, but it's here,
and I'm just grateful to be healing. You know. I
think full recovery will be like right around the six
month mark, and it's beautiful, deeply well, you know, one
(19:57):
of the things that was coming to me, I was
talking to one of my best friends, Pastor John Gray
for those that are familiar, incredible pastor, wonderful, wonderful person
and one of my dearest friends for well over a decade.
We talked and he prayed for me the day after surgery,
and I remember walking into my conversation with him, I said,
(20:20):
I said, Okay. I was like John, my prayer to
God is accelerated healing, like I know how to heal,
and I have all the biohacking tools. I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna do that. I'm getting acupuncture every two days,
la la la la la. And I was like, accelerated healing,
Like accelerated healing. I will be you know, on my
book tour like this, like this. And by the end
(20:42):
of our conversation, John said, Okay, God has given me
a word, and I want you to know that God said,
this will not be an accelerated healing. This healing is
gonna be harder than you and it's going to take
(21:03):
as much time as they said, It's not going to
be faster, but it's necessary. It's so so necessary. And
he went on to share other beautiful, powerful things with
me about why this moment of rest is so necessary
for me, which felt very special. And when he said that,
(21:24):
there was a freedom. There was a freedom in knowing
that I will instantly surrender into patience because as he
said that, as he said to me, this will not
be an accelerated healing and you will not blow through
this quickly. It's going to take what it takes. The
first thought that came to me was, Wow, God, that
(21:48):
is so fair. That is so fair of you God,
And like, wow, what a privilege it is to heal
and the time that I'm being told I'll heal in right,
Like even if that's outside of my quote unquote perceived
(22:08):
window or outside of my preference, like I'm being told
I will be healed in this time, and like the
miraculous nature of that. How blessed am I to be
able to heal from this injury at all, you know,
and to have my shoulder And I just felt in
such deep gratitude for my body, and I think sometimes
(22:32):
for those that live with chronic pain, or have had
substantial injuries or surgeries. You know, sometimes there is this
first feeling of defeat and this natural depression that comes
in when you can't use things the way that you're
used to using them, or you can't be yourself in
the way that you're used to being yourself. Because one
thing that cannot be overstated is being in pain does
(22:55):
change you. It changes your personality, It changes who you're
able to be with other people. It is this constant
running noise that is going on in your body. It's
it's like having all the apps open and no one
else knows they're open, but they're going and they're draining
the battery and you know they're they're processing anyways. And
so you know, I was thinking, like my god, Like
(23:21):
my god, my beautiful shoulder. Like you had a severe
injury that was shocking to your surgeon, and you showed
up for me every day. Like these are the shoulders
my son sat on top of for years. These are
(23:43):
the shoulders that lifted him, that lifted my groceries out
of the car and into the house. These are the
shoulders that supported my arms and hands and being able
to do energy work on people I love. These are
the shoulders that supported my maudras and mynama stay poses
as I meditated for the peace of my life and
my body and for my joy. And these are the
(24:05):
shoulders that allow me to share beautiful, deep hugs with
the people I'm able to hold in my arms or
the people that are able to hold me. And these
are the shoulders that were built to support and hold
so many things and experiences. And it's just like really
(24:27):
deepened my reverence for my own body, you know, for
my own body. And it's so interesting, you know, because
whenever I think any of us are sick, especially if
you catch something like the flu or stomach virus, you know,
something more than the common cold, something that sits you
down for a little bit, even if it's just today.
(24:48):
You know, there is this like immense relief and gratitude
that comes in once that lifts right, like once you're
out of this cold or once whatever you know, the
situation is, once that bug passes, it's kind of like, ah,
I can be myself again, I can think again, I
can feel again, you know, the the quiet after the storm,
(25:10):
and noticing and allowing sometimes that depression or that confusion
about the pain to come in and be just that
there's so much power in that. The first few days,
and again because she was delusional, Honey, when I came
(25:30):
home from surgery, I literally thought I would be on
a flight to Miami a couple of days later, Like
I had all these plans of making it to a
friend's event that they invited me to in Miami. And
I was like, yeah, I'll be on a plane in
a couple of days. Back to work by surgery Monday,
back to work by Wednesday. In not in y'all know me,
not in no girl boss kind of way or anything
(25:51):
like that, but just yeah, I think I can take
some zoom meetings by Wednesday. I think I can wrap
my brain around things and you know, have some responses.
And then you come home and you're like, no, I
have There's nothing more important than sleep, than eating good foods,
than doing absolutely nothing and surrendering into the patience of that,
(26:13):
because there is nothing more important than I could or
should be doing right now. Then listening to my body
and being patient with my body and letting it heal
from you know, a three to four hour surgery, And
so yeah, I just I was I was finding gratitude
(26:34):
in new ways. I've been talking with friends a lot
as someone that became a teacher because of the path
of pain. You know, pain has been my teacher in
so many ways in life. And I've had a lot
of dark teachers too, and experiences with harder energies and
(26:56):
people to lead me to light and to lead me
to my learning as a healer. And I've been talking
with friends about you know, we can learn through anything.
And I think what's so important, especially if you have
been on a path of pain as the teacher, the
power of transcending that form of learning into being able
(27:18):
to learn through the twinkle of an eye, or learn
through joy, or learn through observation like that is the
profound right of passage that happens once you have learned
enough in that way and get to step into a
new path. But honestly, for the seasons that any of
(27:45):
us are in a learning through pain, Pain's undefeated as
a teacher. Pain is profound. And what I've come to
understand is that one of the reasons pain can sometimes
be a more catalystic or complete or potent teacher than
(28:13):
joy is because pain is so faceted, like pain is
so faceted and what we can glean from it and
where we can uncover it and how we can learn
from it. For example, in this experience of healing with
(28:34):
my shoulder and pain, and again in this chapter, I
am learning how to understand pain in a new way
through my physicality and through my biology, and through my
surrender to what the biological makeup of my body is.
I'm also getting the glimpse of learning about pain in
(28:56):
a couple new ways. Right. I haven't had major surgery before,
or at a deviated septum at some point many years ago,
but that wasn't like a major surgery, and it wasn't
a surgery that changed anything visually, and the recovery was
for me very very simple and easy. But I got
(29:17):
to learn now what the pain of surgery is, what
the pain of this kind of recovery is, what the
pain of patience with my physical body is. I'm given
the chance to learn specifically what bone pain feels like,
which is something, oh, take your breath away, entirely different,
(29:40):
my God, because in what they did with me, you
drill into the bone, right, and you have a lot
of nerve pain connected. I got to learn what it
feels like to be on an opioid, right, they prescribe
some really hardcore stuff for me for the first few days,
(30:01):
and I got to know what it felt like to
be in that because as an observer, though I've heard
all the stories of people that become dependent on opioids
and what a huge, huge issue it is for so many,
I don't know what that feels like. And I didn't
know why someone would like that or want that until
this moment, right until feeling like the depths of the
(30:24):
pain and then the kind of complete numbness and slightly
euphoria you get from certain things, and where that takes
you and what that does, and why someone who maybe
hadn't yet been able to do some of the inner
work could be so drawn to replicating that feeling, even
at their own demise, over and over again, like I
(30:47):
get to learn so that I can serve right Like
I for many years I could speak to emotional pain,
I could speak to again mental, spiritual pain, observational pain.
And now I get to speak to this particular type
of pain to anyone I meet on the path, that
it may be useful for us to be in community
(31:08):
in that way. And so when I was talking to
my friend. I was just like, Oh, my god, God
is so brilliant. You got the lessons are so brilliant
and faceted if you let them. And when you let them,
you also give yourself the opportunity to dip in and
dip out, right, Because I'm choosing to be present and however,
(31:31):
this is manifesting for me right now, which I cannot overstate.
I'm having reverence for my experience, and I'm sharing my experience.
And I also know, in comparison to some of the
much harsher and harder things that are going on in
humanity right now, or some of the things that some
people may be facing with their illnesses and with their bodies,
(31:54):
this is a blip on the radar right This is
a tiny, tiny pebble in comparison to some of the
ways that this may pre presenting for some of us.
But this is my teacher right now, and so I'm
present with it and I'm trying to get as much
out of it as i can. And that's another thing
that I've learned, is that when we allow ourselves to
(32:15):
be present with whatever is, whatever is the full truth
of the moment, and we stay awake to it and
aware to it. We get to learn by dipping in
and dipping out. I get to learn about and begin
to be very curious about the things that I stated
(32:37):
surgical pain, bone pain, significant season injury, season ending injury,
type pain, opioid connection, and pain. And I get to
learn about it in the span of several weeks and
not in the span of something that had to really
catalyze and be used to teach me for a longer
(33:02):
period of time. And so I'm sinking into that, I
am savoring that I am surrendered to the opportunity of this,
and I'm grateful for it, and I'm just so grateful
for the people in my life. And I think the
last thing that I would share about this, another reflection
that I have that I hope lands within those listening
(33:25):
in whatever ways it needs to, is I've learned so
many lessons about receiving and how much tolerance you actually
have to build within your body and in the way
that you interact with your world to actually be in
a state to receive, so good things can happen to
(33:47):
you and goodness can find you. And this has been
an opportunity for me to see how far I've come
because I share one of the stories I share in
my book Living in Wisdom April twenty second, twenty two,
twenty five. One of the things that I share in
my book is a story about one of my first
breakthrough experiences and being able to receive selfless kindness from
(34:11):
another person. This story I had of having this incredible
good Samaritan stay with me once when I had to
visit the hospital, and how triggering that was for me,
but how much it healed my ability to receive forever.
That was many years ago, and so through this experience,
(34:33):
I've been able to see how far I've come and
how I received with ease. And when I tell you
the floodgates have opened, I think this is like one
of my first times I've ever really shared that something
physical has happened to me on social media. And physical
stuff has been happening to me NonStop my whole life,
(34:54):
but I would just that's just not something I would
ever share or think to share. And this time I
just kind of shared. I shared a picture of me
on the gurney like getting rotator cuff surgery, you know,
like this is what's happening today. This is part of
my life. And that was pretty much it. And when
I tell you, a flood poured into my life, a
(35:17):
flood of roses. I received roses and flowers and arrangements
from so many people I love, local and in other states.
My sister Angela bought and sent me an ice machine,
so many friends, like just meals after meals after meals,
(35:42):
desserts like breakfast, like another. My girlfriend Lauren sent me
tackos like it was just like it was just so
all the things I love, y'all, like food and flowers,
like come on, that is my love language for all time.
And it just came in like nothing, you know, like everything.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
And.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
I just said, wow, I'm so comfortable with this, you know,
like wow, God, Wow, God, I get this and I
get to heal. It's just been so special. It's been
so special, and it's been so special to also know
that receiving these kinds of things from people I love
(36:26):
and respect and know it's also because my spirit is
deserving of it, because I am showing up in community
and all the ways that I can with these people.
So it is their pleasure, it is their happiness to
do this for me, to bring me joy, to allow
me to feel supported, to just make me smile, right,
(36:48):
because none of that can necessarily be changed. But the
beauty that got to enter my life because I was
already prepped and ready for it, I've just been letting
myself really back asking it. And so as I'm kind
of figuring out how to now shape the release of
the book and how that will look and how I'll
(37:09):
be able to show up and still you know, get
my son to school and loving my baby and live
in my life like I'm also taking me slow walks
through my house of smelling roses and smelling flowers and
just smiling at how rich, rich, rich the soil of
(37:31):
my life is, how fertile the ground underneath my feet is.
And I am grateful in the most profound ways, the
most profound ways. So I'm taking it slow. I'm taking
it slow. I'm being present. You know, it might take
(37:54):
me thirty minutes to get a shirt on, but why
can't it Why can't it take that life? There's nothing
more important than this in this moment. So that is
where I'm at on my healing journey.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Y'all.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Again, thank you so much for just like all the kindness,
so much kindness and anybody that is watching this show
and hurting in any way, but especially for my light
warriors that also live with chronic pain or are having
to go through initiations, through surgeries, or through diagnoses. You
(38:30):
are not broken, you are not deficient. Your body is miraculous,
and there is so much goodness that is still waiting
for you. And whatever you need to do to feel
like yourself, even for just a glimpse or a portion
of the day, there is no more important work than
(38:51):
you can do than feeding that. And then there's no
more important work than you can do than stretching your
capacity to be in patience with the beauty of your
humanity and your human experience with the beauty of your body.
Healing is possible in the instances that it may feel impossible,
(39:14):
that it may feel too big. Right now, I just
really ask and imply with humility, because I don't know
what anyone's walking through or how much it hurts. I
can't know that, but I do just want to reflect,
talk to God all day every day about it. Do
(39:36):
whatever you need to do to create more space, to
find ways even the tiniest slightest smiles, to rev your
spirit and your system and do whatever is necessary, evolutionary
and valuable to feed your ability to be in patience
(39:59):
with whatever is currently present. I offer that with humility
because I know how hard and how isolating and how
lonely it can be to be on a journey of
physical pain. And I really implore everyone that finds themselves
on that journey, do not take no for an answer
(40:19):
from any of your doctors. Do not take do not
go silently if you're around people that cannot hold space
for your physical pain. And I want to extend patience
and grace to both sides of that equation, because it
is also hard to be in the hearing of things
that you can't help or fix for others. But whatever
(40:44):
way is necessary, fine community, whether it is with people
in person going through what you're going through, or it's
on a reddit and a forum, or wherever you happen
to find yourself, but find a place where you can
be fully expressed about what it is you're experiencing. And then,
(41:09):
in addition to and or if all else fails, do
what some of the greats that have come before us
have done. Like one of my favorite muses of all times,
free to call O find a way to make it art.
If you can't change the suffering, find a way to
make it purposeful. Find a way to make it art.
Find a way to make it beautiful. Find a way
(41:30):
to make your life beautiful no matter what. Thank you
for joining me on this episode. Thank you for listening.
I will be announcing my book tour stops very soon.
I am going to hit the road. I may not
be able to do a lot of hugs, but I
will be out in those streets. My book, Living in
Wisdom Again is out April twenty second. I would love
it if you pre ordered it. I also did the
(41:52):
audio book, which was a blast. I love doing it,
so it's also available for pre order on Audible and
all the places you buy books. Living in Wisdom Debbie Brown.
If you haven't yet checked out, we have a new
cover of the podcast that I'm utterly obsessed with. Obsessed.
It's giving Yacht Rock. I hope you love it, and
if you haven't yet, I would just love to ask
(42:12):
if you would go on to Apple and leave a
five star review and share some words if there is
a particular episode that has moved you, if there is
anything that you have connected with from me from this show,
I would just love it if you would please leave
a review about what you love or like about this
show or how it's met you on your journey. So
(42:34):
if you could do that on Apple YouTube comments are
great too, and I will be with you next week.
Big Love, No Mistaydayday. The content presented on Deeply Wells
serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It should not
(42:55):
be considered a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance,
and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always,
it is advisable to consult with your healthcare provider or
health team for any specific concerns or questions that you
may have. Connect with me on social at Debbie Brown.
(43:17):
That's Twitter and Instagram, or you can go to my
website Debbie Brown dot com. And if you're listening to
the show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget. Please rate, review
and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply
Well is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network.
It's produced by Jacqueis Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown.
(43:39):
The Beautiful Soundbath You Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from
Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Keeps to the planet.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God. And
guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman
Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions,
may DyB and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and
B Money podcast. We're taking Jay Valentine. We got the
Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got
(00:22):
Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with
her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast, with
more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses
plus the food truck court to keep you fed.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
While you visit us.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap
in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot
Com Flash Podcast Festival.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Take a deep in through your nose. Holds it now,
release slowly again deep in haale hold release, repeating internally
(01:33):
to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am
deeply well I am deeply Well. I am deeply Wow.
(02:00):
I'm Debbie Brown, and this is the Deeply Well Podcast.
Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on
your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative,
and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care.
(02:25):
This is where we heal, this is where we transcend.
Welcome back to Deeply Well. I am Debbie Brown. I
have to say first and foremost, I mean, We're gonna
have a good check in this episode. I have so
many thoughts on so many things that are happening. I'm
going to share a little bit of my current journey
with you, but I also just want to say thank
(02:47):
you so so much to everyone that has been dming
me with get well soon wishes. It is just meant
the world it has been. I have been reading just
some of the kindest, most thoughtful, sweetest things and just
really beautiful intention People have voice noted me prayers, which
is just like, uh, expanding my spirit and my heart.
(03:10):
So from the deepest part of me, just thank you
so much for everyone that listens to the show or
connects with my work in some way, that has reached out,
that has been following along with the physical medical journey
that I have been on this season of the show,
so love y'all so much, and feeling deeply seen and
deeply grateful. So I guess let's start there, all right,
(03:33):
y'all life lately, so I where do I even begin?
And it's so interesting just the timing of all of this.
It's so spiritually fascinating and spiritually aligned. But right as
I'm getting ready to birth my book, Living in Wisdom,
(03:54):
which is available for pre order now and available everywhere
in the world April twenty second, twenty twenty five and
on audible all the places. You know, this book was
in my body and in my spirit for over five
years to write, and it took me two years to
(04:14):
write it. And you know, in the midst of that time,
so much life was happening and so much healing was happening,
and then so much of writing a book is kind
of being in the waiting game, right like you you
might announce your book two years before it sees the
light of day because there's certain production deadlines, marketing deadlines,
(04:37):
figuring out the right time to release it. So my
book has been like done, done, done, ready to go
for about a year and now I'm so excited it
shall be here soon. But it's been really interesting kind
of settling into this injury that I have and this
surgery that I had to have, and kind of looking
(05:00):
at the universe, like, why is this happening? I had
all this time? Why is this happening? A few weeks
before I met to go on a book tour, meant
to share, you know, some of the deepest parts of
my heart and the deepest parts of my work with
the world. And so I want to share some really
beautiful insights I've been having around that, around the beauty
(05:23):
and pain and the patience that can be found in
pain that I want to expand in on this episode.
But all right, we're in it. So for those that
have been following along, I have been really wrestling. I
live with chronic pain, and I have for several decades
chronic back pain, neck pain, some chronic injuries since childhood,
(05:49):
and so pain physical pain has been a part of
my life since I can remember. And for those that
are also on this journey, which so much love to
those that are also on this journe, it's a very
specific kind of journey to be on when you live
with chronic pain one that is very hard to understand
(06:10):
sometimes by people that may that may not be their
road to learning. But pain has been a big teacher
in my life and many many, many, many, many, many
many ways, and physical pain has been one of them.
And so when you have physical pain, chronic pain, when
you also were someone that has bared witness to a
(06:33):
lot of hard things or have had a lot of
complex lived experiences, you also take on quite a resilience
that grows your pain tolerance. I have always known that
I have had a pretty astronomical pain tolerance, and I
can sit on the bottom of the ocean at any
(06:56):
time with anyone. And so this last year has been
really transformative for me, and I've been expressing this, i
think in some ways on the show over time, but
learning what that really is on a spiritual level and
(07:18):
knowing that now is my time thinks entirely to the
guidance of God, that now is my time to challenge
my beliefs and my experiences that I've had with and
around physical pain. So being on a healing journey is
(07:39):
so astounding for so many reasons, and it's just so
faceted and so incredibly beautiful. To be present with because
you will find that you are constantly invited to witness
and review and challenge certain things that you have learned
(08:02):
and release, but in new dimensions and in new facets
of your life. And I've shared this before. When God
brings you to a healing, when the universe brings you
to a healing, you will be invited to then revisit
and be in practice with that healing and all the
categories of your life that it may show up right.
And so for many, many years, I have been in
(08:22):
deep initiation with healing emotional pain, with healing spiritual pain,
and karmic pain. Those have been massive themes in my
life for eons and for many years in this lifetime.
And now I'm being asked to get into the fibers
of the healing of my physical pains. And it's been
(08:47):
really beautiful to be in that, a lot of curiosity
for it. It's been hard to and challenging, draining, painful,
but beautiful to be in the observation of my physical pain.
When healing emotional pain and spiritual pain and mental pain
(09:08):
is no longer something that is present, so there is
a clarity, there is an opening, there is a deeper
presence within which I'm being invited to be with my
body now that some of that other work not only
is done but has been dissolved. So that's been feeling special.
And I kind of say this now with this much
(09:30):
description because I know how tiring healing can be. And
for those that connect with this show and that are
on their own journey, you come to know, or I
invite you to know that this is coming, that it
really is kind of like this. And when you're in
(09:52):
a slump with your healing or in what feels like
a lower point, rest and recover and just be present
with that, because you'll be called to do it more
and more. You'll be called to release more and more.
But when you're in the fatigue of your healing, don't
fight through it and try to superheal, and don't try
to work on yourself even more to push through. That's
(10:15):
when you're in recovery mode. That's when you're in rest mode.
So give that space to yourself and then know that
you'll be invited to explore it again and again in
all the ways. And I think eventually you come into
a space of it being really purely observational and you
get to learn through observation of self or others, and
(10:38):
you don't always have to learn through firsthand experience, but
the first hand learning is always first. So this year
and this season of the show, part of what I
have been working through as someone who has had lifelong
chronic pain and autoimmune is that I've been learning my
(10:59):
limits in new ways, especially as this beautifully bloomed, healed,
present version of myself. And so about five years ago,
I retained an injury in my left shoulder and I
(11:20):
remember being in pain at the time, like a lot
of pain for many weeks, many months after this injury
happened to me took place, and it was the very
beginning of the pandemic, and I had a just turned
two year old, And as someone that is used to
(11:42):
always being challenged and kind of pushing through physical pain
and not really talking about it, because those on this
journey know at some point it gets exhausting for other
people to hear about It's present in your body every
second of every day. But at a certain point there's
no need to talk about it anymore, bring it up,
especially when you know you can't do anything to change
(12:03):
it per se or you just see kind of on
the faces or in the attitudes of people in your
life that you know they've heard it a lot, and
so you just hold it in and you keep moving
and people don't know. And so many people in my
life never knew that I had this battle that would
sometimes mean that I have to cancel things, or I
(12:25):
can't show up, I can't come. I think in younger
versions of my life, this was confusing for me and
others because people there were a couple projections from some
people in my younger life that you know, not being
out in the club or on the scene, was you know,
(12:45):
me being above or aloof or whatever whatever people think
about whatever, And it was really just you may not
know that, Like, I'm in a lot of pain today
and I can't I can't put those shoes on, or
I can't be out without kind of suffering a little,
so I'll stay in. And so when I got that
injury five years ago, I was in a lot of
(13:08):
pain and I couldn't fully use this arm, but I
just kept going. And you couldn't really get into doctors
at the time because it was the pandemic. So life
passes on. I learned to ic it regularly and move on.
And then eventually your body overcompensates and the injury becomes
different or the flare ups become less and less, and
you move on. So I fit this shoulder injury into
(13:32):
the system of my body, which says, yeah, so every
day you have a little pain, keep going, and forgot
all about it. This past November, which I talked about
on this show, I had a massive, massive, massive flare
up in my body and it happened through I think
it happened through a workout I was doing, and it
(13:53):
was only holding a ten pound weight, but I felt
something change in my body. And now the pain was back,
and it was back worse than I could ever imagine.
Like there was so little I could do with this arm,
and so I started using a lot of my biohacking.
I started getting regular infrared light therapy on this arm,
(14:17):
regular acupuncture just on this shoulder. I started going to
rehab facility and trying to meet this need on my own,
and it helped a lot. It gave me the movement
back in my arm. So then I was like, all right,
I'm back at it. I'm gonna go. And then this
past November, when I was actually going to Mexico to
speak at summit. I got hit with this deep wave
(14:39):
of exhaustion and so much pain in my back and
in my shoulder that I lost the ability to walk
for a few days. And so I was grounded in
Mexico and I couldn't leave, and I had to just recover.
I had to surrender, surrender, surrender to recovering in another
country and finding childcare from us and figuring it out.
(15:02):
And so what was really revolutionary about that moment for
me was it was the first time that I was
like time to lock back into Western medicine. I had
only I hadn't gone to really any Western doctors with
the exception of my obgyn when my son was born,
in over a decade, and so I reached out to friends.
(15:23):
I kind of put the signal up, I need help,
and I got in with a lot of specialists. So
I got in with the pain specialists, with a back specialist,
with a shoulder specialist, with a new doctor. And the
last several months I've just been in and out of
different testings and getting different information about my injuries and
about my body. And I won't get into all the
(15:46):
particulars of all the things it's just too much. But
I got a lot of answers. I got a lot
of answers that have shaken me, but have also been
I'm just thrilled to have a name for things. I'm
just thrilled to know more about things. And there's been
a lot of grief and healing that has come through that,
(16:08):
but it's it's actually been really inspiring for me. And
so a couple months ago I went and I finally
got all the MRIs I needed on my bones, my spine,
and on my shoulder. And what the findings were was
that on this left shoulder I had a full tear
(16:30):
through my rotator cuff, and so I was going to
need to go in get some muscle grafting done, get
some bone shavings done, and get you a real repair here.
And I went in for surgery nearly two weeks ago
and did just that. I had the surgery that I needed.
(16:51):
My doctor said I needed to get it pretty quickly.
He felt very strongly that I should not go on
my book tour without getting this because it was deteriorating
quite a bit and that it may be harder or
get a greater injury if I decided to do that. So,
I mean, obviously everything happens for a reason, and I
(17:15):
believe in divine alignment. Nothing for me will miss me.
But it is kind of a heavy load if you
have been planning for something for a year and then
all of that has to change, like right leading up
to it, like a few weeks before it kicks off.
It has to change and you have to kind of
get prepared to really focus on something else. So that's
(17:38):
kind of been where my head is. And what has
been really interesting in the healing of this, which has
brought so much grace for myself, is I had my
follow up appointment with my surgeon and he had all
the images printed out for me, right, which I'm like, ill, gross,
Like I don't want to see the inside of my shoulder.
(18:01):
And one of the things that he said to me,
and mind you for those that follow sports, like this
is like a season ending injury. And I'm like, I'm
a meditation teacher, why do I have a season ending
injury in my body? But when he was walking me
through the images and talking to me about how surgery went,
one of the things that he said was that this
(18:22):
is one of the worst cases of this injury that
he's seen, and he went on to show me images
of how bad this injury was, and I mean it
was gnarly, like there I had. I had a huge
hole in my tissues and in my muscles. I was
completely detached. And you know, something he said to me
is like, how have you just been living with this?
(18:45):
Like when did this pain first start? I'm like five
years ago and he was like, how have you been
living like this? And it was just so interesting to
have that reflected back to me and to kind of
really think of that. It did not occur to me
to rest. It did not occur to me to get
bigger medical treatment. It did not occur to me to
really seek help. It's just my instant feeling was more pain.
(19:09):
You know what to do with this? Add it to
the list, keep going right. And so just like the
kind of validation of someone else kind of looking at
you and being like, woman, what is going on? And
you know you have such a gentle life, like why
were you carrying this load? But surgery went well and
(19:32):
I'm healing and I will have this thing on from
a book tour, which I did not want, but it's here,
and I'm just grateful to be healing. You know. I
think full recovery will be like right around the six
month mark, and it's beautiful, deeply well, you know, one
(19:57):
of the things that was coming to me, I was
talking to one of my best friends, Pastor John Gray
for those that are familiar, incredible pastor, wonderful, wonderful person
and one of my dearest friends for well over a decade.
We talked and he prayed for me the day after surgery,
and I remember walking into my conversation with him, I said,
(20:20):
I said, Okay. I was like John, my prayer to
God is accelerated healing, like I know how to heal,
and I have all the biohacking tools. I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna do that. I'm getting acupuncture every two days,
la la la la la. And I was like, accelerated healing,
Like accelerated healing. I will be you know, on my
book tour like this, like this. And by the end
(20:42):
of our conversation, John said, Okay, God has given me
a word, and I want you to know that God said,
this will not be an accelerated healing. This healing is
gonna be harder than you and it's going to take
(21:03):
as much time as they said, It's not going to
be faster, but it's necessary. It's so so necessary. And
he went on to share other beautiful, powerful things with
me about why this moment of rest is so necessary
for me, which felt very special. And when he said that,
(21:24):
there was a freedom. There was a freedom in knowing
that I will instantly surrender into patience because as he
said that, as he said to me, this will not
be an accelerated healing and you will not blow through
this quickly. It's going to take what it takes. The
first thought that came to me was, Wow, God, that
(21:48):
is so fair. That is so fair of you God,
And like, wow, what a privilege it is to heal
and the time that I'm being told I'll heal in right,
Like even if that's outside of my quote unquote perceived
(22:08):
window or outside of my preference, like I'm being told
I will be healed in this time, and like the
miraculous nature of that. How blessed am I to be
able to heal from this injury at all, you know,
and to have my shoulder And I just felt in
such deep gratitude for my body, and I think sometimes
(22:32):
for those that live with chronic pain, or have had
substantial injuries or surgeries. You know, sometimes there is this
first feeling of defeat and this natural depression that comes
in when you can't use things the way that you're
used to using them, or you can't be yourself in
the way that you're used to being yourself. Because one
thing that cannot be overstated is being in pain does
(22:55):
change you. It changes your personality, It changes who you're
able to be with other people. It is this constant
running noise that is going on in your body. It's
it's like having all the apps open and no one
else knows they're open, but they're going and they're draining
the battery and you know they're they're processing anyways. And
so you know, I was thinking, like my god, Like
(23:21):
my god, my beautiful shoulder. Like you had a severe
injury that was shocking to your surgeon, and you showed
up for me every day. Like these are the shoulders
my son sat on top of for years. These are
(23:43):
the shoulders that lifted him, that lifted my groceries out
of the car and into the house. These are the
shoulders that supported my arms and hands and being able
to do energy work on people I love. These are
the shoulders that supported my maudras and mynama stay poses
as I meditated for the peace of my life and
my body and for my joy. And these are the
(24:05):
shoulders that allow me to share beautiful, deep hugs with
the people I'm able to hold in my arms or
the people that are able to hold me. And these
are the shoulders that were built to support and hold
so many things and experiences. And it's just like really
(24:27):
deepened my reverence for my own body, you know, for
my own body. And it's so interesting, you know, because
whenever I think any of us are sick, especially if
you catch something like the flu or stomach virus, you know,
something more than the common cold, something that sits you
down for a little bit, even if it's just today.
(24:48):
You know, there is this like immense relief and gratitude
that comes in once that lifts right, like once you're
out of this cold or once whatever you know, the
situation is, once that bug passes, it's kind of like, ah,
I can be myself again, I can think again, I
can feel again, you know, the the quiet after the storm,
(25:10):
and noticing and allowing sometimes that depression or that confusion
about the pain to come in and be just that
there's so much power in that. The first few days,
and again because she was delusional, Honey, when I came
(25:30):
home from surgery, I literally thought I would be on
a flight to Miami a couple of days later, Like
I had all these plans of making it to a
friend's event that they invited me to in Miami. And
I was like, yeah, I'll be on a plane in
a couple of days. Back to work by surgery Monday,
back to work by Wednesday. In not in y'all know me,
not in no girl boss kind of way or anything
(25:51):
like that, but just yeah, I think I can take
some zoom meetings by Wednesday. I think I can wrap
my brain around things and you know, have some responses.
And then you come home and you're like, no, I
have There's nothing more important than sleep, than eating good foods,
than doing absolutely nothing and surrendering into the patience of that,
(26:13):
because there is nothing more important than I could or
should be doing right now. Then listening to my body
and being patient with my body and letting it heal
from you know, a three to four hour surgery, And
so yeah, I just I was I was finding gratitude
(26:34):
in new ways. I've been talking with friends a lot
as someone that became a teacher because of the path
of pain. You know, pain has been my teacher in
so many ways in life. And I've had a lot
of dark teachers too, and experiences with harder energies and
(26:56):
people to lead me to light and to lead me
to my learning as a healer. And I've been talking
with friends about you know, we can learn through anything.
And I think what's so important, especially if you have
been on a path of pain as the teacher, the
power of transcending that form of learning into being able
(27:18):
to learn through the twinkle of an eye, or learn
through joy, or learn through observation like that is the
profound right of passage that happens once you have learned
enough in that way and get to step into a
new path. But honestly, for the seasons that any of
(27:45):
us are in a learning through pain, Pain's undefeated as
a teacher. Pain is profound. And what I've come to
understand is that one of the reasons pain can sometimes
be a more catalystic or complete or potent teacher than
(28:13):
joy is because pain is so faceted, like pain is
so faceted and what we can glean from it and
where we can uncover it and how we can learn
from it. For example, in this experience of healing with
(28:34):
my shoulder and pain, and again in this chapter, I
am learning how to understand pain in a new way
through my physicality and through my biology, and through my
surrender to what the biological makeup of my body is.
I'm also getting the glimpse of learning about pain in
(28:56):
a couple new ways. Right. I haven't had major surgery before,
or at a deviated septum at some point many years ago,
but that wasn't like a major surgery, and it wasn't
a surgery that changed anything visually, and the recovery was
for me very very simple and easy. But I got
(29:17):
to learn now what the pain of surgery is, what
the pain of this kind of recovery is, what the
pain of patience with my physical body is. I'm given
the chance to learn specifically what bone pain feels like,
which is something, oh, take your breath away, entirely different,
(29:40):
my God, because in what they did with me, you
drill into the bone, right, and you have a lot
of nerve pain connected. I got to learn what it
feels like to be on an opioid, right, they prescribe
some really hardcore stuff for me for the first few days,
(30:01):
and I got to know what it felt like to
be in that because as an observer, though I've heard
all the stories of people that become dependent on opioids
and what a huge, huge issue it is for so many,
I don't know what that feels like. And I didn't
know why someone would like that or want that until
this moment, right until feeling like the depths of the
(30:24):
pain and then the kind of complete numbness and slightly
euphoria you get from certain things, and where that takes
you and what that does, and why someone who maybe
hadn't yet been able to do some of the inner
work could be so drawn to replicating that feeling, even
at their own demise, over and over again, like I
(30:47):
get to learn so that I can serve right Like
I for many years I could speak to emotional pain,
I could speak to again mental, spiritual pain, observational pain.
And now I get to speak to this particular type
of pain to anyone I meet on the path, that
it may be useful for us to be in community
(31:08):
in that way. And so when I was talking to
my friend. I was just like, Oh, my god, God
is so brilliant. You got the lessons are so brilliant
and faceted if you let them. And when you let them,
you also give yourself the opportunity to dip in and
dip out, right, Because I'm choosing to be present and however,
(31:31):
this is manifesting for me right now, which I cannot overstate.
I'm having reverence for my experience, and I'm sharing my experience.
And I also know, in comparison to some of the
much harsher and harder things that are going on in
humanity right now, or some of the things that some
people may be facing with their illnesses and with their bodies,
(31:54):
this is a blip on the radar right This is
a tiny, tiny pebble in comparison to some of the
ways that this may pre presenting for some of us.
But this is my teacher right now, and so I'm
present with it and I'm trying to get as much
out of it as i can. And that's another thing
that I've learned, is that when we allow ourselves to
(32:15):
be present with whatever is, whatever is the full truth
of the moment, and we stay awake to it and
aware to it. We get to learn by dipping in
and dipping out. I get to learn about and begin
to be very curious about the things that I stated
(32:37):
surgical pain, bone pain, significant season injury, season ending injury,
type pain, opioid connection, and pain. And I get to
learn about it in the span of several weeks and
not in the span of something that had to really
catalyze and be used to teach me for a longer
(33:02):
period of time. And so I'm sinking into that, I
am savoring that I am surrendered to the opportunity of this,
and I'm grateful for it, and I'm just so grateful
for the people in my life. And I think the
last thing that I would share about this, another reflection
that I have that I hope lands within those listening
(33:25):
in whatever ways it needs to, is I've learned so
many lessons about receiving and how much tolerance you actually
have to build within your body and in the way
that you interact with your world to actually be in
a state to receive, so good things can happen to
(33:47):
you and goodness can find you. And this has been
an opportunity for me to see how far I've come
because I share one of the stories I share in
my book Living in Wisdom April twenty second, twenty two,
twenty five. One of the things that I share in
my book is a story about one of my first
breakthrough experiences and being able to receive selfless kindness from
(34:11):
another person. This story I had of having this incredible
good Samaritan stay with me once when I had to
visit the hospital, and how triggering that was for me,
but how much it healed my ability to receive forever.
That was many years ago, and so through this experience,
(34:33):
I've been able to see how far I've come and
how I received with ease. And when I tell you
the floodgates have opened, I think this is like one
of my first times I've ever really shared that something
physical has happened to me on social media. And physical
stuff has been happening to me NonStop my whole life,
(34:54):
but I would just that's just not something I would
ever share or think to share. And this time I
just kind of shared. I shared a picture of me
on the gurney like getting rotator cuff surgery, you know,
like this is what's happening today. This is part of
my life. And that was pretty much it. And when
I tell you, a flood poured into my life, a
(35:17):
flood of roses. I received roses and flowers and arrangements
from so many people I love, local and in other states.
My sister Angela bought and sent me an ice machine,
so many friends, like just meals after meals after meals,
(35:42):
desserts like breakfast, like another. My girlfriend Lauren sent me
tackos like it was just like it was just so
all the things I love, y'all, like food and flowers,
like come on, that is my love language for all time.
And it just came in like nothing, you know, like everything.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
And.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
I just said, wow, I'm so comfortable with this, you know,
like wow, God, Wow, God, I get this and I
get to heal. It's just been so special. It's been
so special, and it's been so special to also know
that receiving these kinds of things from people I love
(36:26):
and respect and know it's also because my spirit is
deserving of it, because I am showing up in community
and all the ways that I can with these people.
So it is their pleasure, it is their happiness to
do this for me, to bring me joy, to allow
me to feel supported, to just make me smile, right,
(36:48):
because none of that can necessarily be changed. But the
beauty that got to enter my life because I was
already prepped and ready for it, I've just been letting
myself really back asking it. And so as I'm kind
of figuring out how to now shape the release of
the book and how that will look and how I'll
(37:09):
be able to show up and still you know, get
my son to school and loving my baby and live
in my life like I'm also taking me slow walks
through my house of smelling roses and smelling flowers and
just smiling at how rich, rich, rich the soil of
(37:31):
my life is, how fertile the ground underneath my feet is.
And I am grateful in the most profound ways, the
most profound ways. So I'm taking it slow. I'm taking
it slow. I'm being present. You know, it might take
(37:54):
me thirty minutes to get a shirt on, but why
can't it Why can't it take that life? There's nothing
more important than this in this moment. So that is
where I'm at on my healing journey.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Y'all.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Again, thank you so much for just like all the kindness,
so much kindness and anybody that is watching this show
and hurting in any way, but especially for my light
warriors that also live with chronic pain or are having
to go through initiations, through surgeries, or through diagnoses. You
(38:30):
are not broken, you are not deficient. Your body is miraculous,
and there is so much goodness that is still waiting
for you. And whatever you need to do to feel
like yourself, even for just a glimpse or a portion
of the day, there is no more important work than
(38:51):
you can do than feeding that. And then there's no
more important work than you can do than stretching your
capacity to be in patience with the beauty of your
humanity and your human experience with the beauty of your body.
Healing is possible in the instances that it may feel impossible,
(39:14):
that it may feel too big. Right now, I just
really ask and imply with humility, because I don't know
what anyone's walking through or how much it hurts. I
can't know that, but I do just want to reflect,
talk to God all day every day about it. Do
(39:36):
whatever you need to do to create more space, to
find ways even the tiniest slightest smiles, to rev your
spirit and your system and do whatever is necessary, evolutionary
and valuable to feed your ability to be in patience
(39:59):
with whatever is currently present. I offer that with humility
because I know how hard and how isolating and how
lonely it can be to be on a journey of
physical pain. And I really implore everyone that finds themselves
on that journey, do not take no for an answer
(40:19):
from any of your doctors. Do not take do not
go silently if you're around people that cannot hold space
for your physical pain. And I want to extend patience
and grace to both sides of that equation, because it
is also hard to be in the hearing of things
that you can't help or fix for others. But whatever
(40:44):
way is necessary, fine community, whether it is with people
in person going through what you're going through, or it's
on a reddit and a forum, or wherever you happen
to find yourself, but find a place where you can
be fully expressed about what it is you're experiencing. And then,
(41:09):
in addition to and or if all else fails, do
what some of the greats that have come before us
have done. Like one of my favorite muses of all times,
free to call O find a way to make it art.
If you can't change the suffering, find a way to
make it purposeful. Find a way to make it art.
Find a way to make it beautiful. Find a way
(41:30):
to make your life beautiful no matter what. Thank you
for joining me on this episode. Thank you for listening.
I will be announcing my book tour stops very soon.
I am going to hit the road. I may not
be able to do a lot of hugs, but I
will be out in those streets. My book, Living in
Wisdom Again is out April twenty second. I would love
it if you pre ordered it. I also did the
(41:52):
audio book, which was a blast. I love doing it,
so it's also available for pre order on Audible and
all the places you buy books. Living in Wisdom Debbie Brown.
If you haven't yet checked out, we have a new
cover of the podcast that I'm utterly obsessed with. Obsessed.
It's giving Yacht Rock. I hope you love it, and
if you haven't yet, I would just love to ask
(42:12):
if you would go on to Apple and leave a
five star review and share some words if there is
a particular episode that has moved you, if there is
anything that you have connected with from me from this show,
I would just love it if you would please leave
a review about what you love or like about this
show or how it's met you on your journey. So
(42:34):
if you could do that on Apple YouTube comments are
great too, and I will be with you next week.
Big Love, No Mistaydayday. The content presented on Deeply Wells
serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It should not
(42:55):
be considered a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance,
and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always,
it is advisable to consult with your healthcare provider or
health team for any specific concerns or questions that you
may have. Connect with me on social at Debbie Brown.
(43:17):
That's Twitter and Instagram, or you can go to my
website Debbie Brown dot com. And if you're listening to
the show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget. Please rate, review
and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply
Well is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network.
It's produced by Jacqueis Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown.
(43:39):
The Beautiful Soundbath You Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from
Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Host
Devi Brown
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