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November 15, 2024 36 mins

Devi introduces the new theme for this month, “Creating Safe Space Within--Rituals and Remedies for Finding Your Calm” Together we are going to slow down and find balance. During the emotionally charged holiday season, it’s important to carve out self-curated care and embrace your inner needs and desires. What are your rituals? We will explore the significance of rituals in daily life, the power of simplicity, and the necessity of listening to one's body and emotions to define what rituals make sense for you personally, based on your life and practices.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:27):
Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it now,
release slowly again, deep in, helle hold release, repeating internally

(01:03):
to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am deeply,
deeply well. I am deeply well. I am deeply I'm

(01:30):
Debbie Brown and this is the Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome
to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on your journey.
A podcast for those that are curious, creative, and ready

(01:52):
to expand in higher consciousness and self care. This is
where we heal, this is where we transcend. Welcome back
to the Deeply Well Podcast. Of course, I am your host,
Debbie Brown, and as always, it is such a pleasure
to have you here. I have been so loving seeing
the sacred spaces that have been pouring through into Instagram

(02:16):
as you listen to these episodes. I've mean getting the
journaling homework for everyone who has been downloading the PDFs.
And just a reminder if you are someone that is
actively looking to do the work while you explore these
episodes and as you move through your life. Starting this season,
every month we provide a PDF that you can download,

(02:37):
you can print out, you can work with on a
tablet that supports each episode. For the month, So there
will be some journal prompts, journal inquiries, and I've been
seeing them pouring in and I am just like wow,
blown away. Some listening that have shared their journaling have
been like taking close pictures, so I've been able to

(02:58):
see some of the things you've been writing and oh
my god, ooh, we are in this world deep. So
just if you are listening and watching right now, and
you were currently in a place where you are just
rigorously in your work, you can do this. Keep going,

(03:21):
keep going, breaking through that upper limits. It's literally like
that meme of watching someone digging for diamonds and stopping
right before they get to the diamond. You are almost there.
The breakthrough moment is coming, and then you get to
make some new choices and have fun with some new experiences.
So keep going. So dope to see that, all right,

(03:45):
This week we are officially introducing really the bigger theme
of the month. We had to change course a little
bit because some things in our world and political systems shifted,
so to be timely, you know, we dated the show schedule.
But I have been so so so excited to dive

(04:06):
into this month's theme with everyone. This month, we are
going to be exploring so many ways to get into
our bodies and to invite in ritualistic practice that can
really support us as we get ready one for winter
and two for the next big calendar year of our lives.

(04:30):
Twenty twenty five is upon us. First things first, just
a little bit of check in some stuff that has
been on my mind in my world. You know, I
hope everyone has really been taking generous care of their
hearts and their bodies there for many there was a big,

(04:50):
big blow last week that we talked about on this show,
and I share that, you know, I was my body
was really having strong reactions going through it. Really grateful
to save. I'm feeling so much better. Got some acupunctureing
and got some cupping, did a lot of slow stretching,
and really tried to surrender as often as I could

(05:12):
to whatever would have been the easier choice of the
day in each of the moments that I was able
to do that, and it was really supportive and helpful.
So hope everyone has been with their body in a
slower way, in a new way, and even going into winter.
Right now, as I record this episode, it is November.
As we're getting into some of the colder times and

(05:32):
colder seasons. It's such a special time to just nourish.
You know, this is one of the times of the
year that can be most activating to the nervous system,
and it's also the time of the year that we're
not supposed to be doing anything biologically. All the animals
go in, right, they go into hibernation, they go underground,

(05:53):
they go in their caves, they go into their warmth.
They've stored up, they've eaten, so that all they need
to do for the next few months is be in
hibernation and just be in rest. Is really be an
expected energy of what their bodies and their hearts and
their brains know is to come in the spring, and

(06:13):
we should be considering that in the same ways, especially
in this time of year that so many of us
are going to be very activated because it's holiday time.
So no matter what your relationship with the people in
your life is, this is a time where we are
around more people than normal, some of us anyways, where

(06:35):
you might be kind of in a lot of traffic,
the stores are going to be a little bit more crowded.
People are going to be really kind of having a
lot of layers to what their emotional experiences. You may
or may not be with your family more or less,
and that may or may not be triggering more or

(06:59):
less right, depending on our unique lives and our family systems.
There's a lot of pressure on how you should feel
about yourself, how you should feel about your family, how
you should feel about your life this time of year.
Notice that what's yours? What isn't? What's societal pressure, what's
familial pressure? What do you want? You know? It's a

(07:19):
great time to investigate and a great time to do less,
to get warm, to eat savory things, and to take
extra care with your body, doing things like taking warm baths,
getting in that sauna, taking a little bit longer, to
apply a thicker lotion to your body. Right, take pleasure
in those things if you're able, take time to slow

(07:42):
down and see how it feels to be more intentional
and notice the current of the moment. Right, what is
naturally coming up right now for you? And what does
that have to do with the season, What does that
have to do with past experiences with family? What does
that have to do with how you relate to this

(08:02):
time of year? For whatever the reasons may be, but
it's a great time to put on that observer hat
and really get nice and deep. So I've been thinking
a lot about that myself. I've been, you know, really
noticing I don't love how dark it gets so early,
Like what where is my day? It's crazy, Like it's

(08:26):
been getting dark at like four point thirty at my
house lately, and I'm just like, ooh, I'm ready to
just curl up off top. It's hard to get me
out of the house, but this time of year, you
really will not see me anywhere. So I've been leaning
into that, and I've been trying to just say, what
do I really need. Something I've been enjoying a lot

(08:47):
more that I've been trying to take more intentional time
with is infra red light therapy. I have one in
the sauna that I that I use, but I got
a lamp of it on Amazon recently. My acupuncturist had one,
and I noticed that every time she would target it
like in my core, on my stomach, or lay on
my back and just target it on my back, I
always felt so much better when I left. So I've

(09:09):
been trying to be really diligent with that, and even
if I'm in bed at the end of the day,
kind of catching up on a few things. I'll pop
that on and point it somewhere on my body. It
was a pretty reasonable price point on Amazon, if that's
possible for everyone, but it's made kind of a big difference,
and so I'm already kind of noticing that that might
be my thing for winter because the extra warmth too,

(09:31):
and yeah, I'm just trying to feel fortified. So that's
a little tech I'm loving. So this week I had
a really awesome opportunity to be with some of the
future leaders really coming out into the creative world. I
had the opportunity to join the ad Color Futures program

(09:51):
and add Color is, of course an incredible company. Huge
shout out to the amazing Tiffany Warren, the founder and
president of ad Color and just such a special woman
with a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful spirit and incredibly impactful
reach and work in the world. They do this program
add Color called ad Color Futures, which is all about

(10:14):
nourishing and supporting the next generation of leaders coming up.
And so they asked me to come and speak and
do a Protecting your Piece workshop with the group this week,
and it was amazing. I was so inspired by everyone
I had a chance to talk to there and meet,

(10:35):
and I'm firmly in the belief that I was born
in the wrong generation, like I should be gen Z
because every time I meet people, especially through the corporate
work that I do, that are actively in the working world,
the new gen Z leaders, I'm just always blown away
by the depth, and I'm blown away by the creativity,
the self awareness, a lot of the fearlessness. And you know,

(10:59):
for all my fellow Jeriak millennials, you know, in large
part we did a lot to help, you know, kind
of usher that space in because our young working lives
were steeped in one of the worst recessions when we
got out of school, and the working landscape was so different,
so we really had to play by so many of

(11:20):
the old rules, even though we had revolutionary visions and
desires inside. But seeing the seeing gen Z and the
way that they're moving in the working world and the
kind of boundaries that they hold and the kind of
ideas that they're being really fearless with it inspires me deeply.
So I love being with them and being able to

(11:40):
share with them as they get ready to take over
and build this world. The wisdom that I've a mass
in my career, and the wisdom that I've a masked
as a being, and especially the wisdom I've a mass
within my expertise of well being. Because if they can
be less burned out than me, I did my job.
If the next generation of leaders can come from a

(12:03):
deeper state of integrity, of grace, of impact, of desire
and treat themselves better in the process so that they
can have more harmony between who they are and a
soul level and the work they do in the world,
I've done my job. So I love, love, love every

(12:23):
time I get a chance, not just to speak to leaders,
but I love that all forms, all backgrounds, all age demographics,
but especially just really sharing space and creating soft space
for this next gen as they continue to stand in
their truth and understand what their authentic voices and their

(12:44):
authentic way of being in leadership is. It's just such
a joy to witness and be with that. So at
a wonderful time speaking to that group. And I was
in conversation with a really wonderful woman who had a
chance to work with a couple of years ago, to
the cultural strategy director at ad color Pilar mccorter, and

(13:04):
she's just dynamic. So every time I get a chance
to be in conversation with her, it always feels so elevated.
So loved that. Big thank you for that, And hopefully
I'll have some stuff from there I can share soon
as well. If you're listening to the show. I'm gearing
up right now, actually leaving out first thing in the
morning to give a keynote talk at Summit Baja, which

(13:25):
I'm so excited about. So I'm headed to Mexico this
week and I'm going to be doing a keynote with Summit.
I'm also leading a second workshop with Summit, and I'm
joining another cause that is so deeply close to my
heart with my dear friend Maria Shriver for her incredible foundation,
Women's Alzheimer's Movement WHAM. If you haven't yet, please sign

(13:48):
up for their newsletter. It gives some of the most incredible,
cutting edge data, information, articles, thoughts on women's health, and
it just Yeah, it's always a really powerful companion that
pops into my inbox and gets my wheels turning and
gives me a lot of information that I love. So

(14:10):
I'm going to be joining that Women's Wellness weekend and
leading workshops and teaching meditation. So really excited. It's one
of my last things that I'm doing before we get
into twenty twenty five. Also be out at Art Basal
next month if anyone is out there doing a couple events.
So excited to really let this beautiful expansive twenty twenty

(14:33):
four come to an end and go into twenty twenty
five with a bang and some rest. So that's where
my head's at. But let's talk about what we're diving
into this month, so I know, you know, as we
enter this new month, we are diving into a theme
that is incredibly, incredibly close to my heart. With the

(14:54):
world around us speeding up as it always does, especially
this time of year, season is sneaking in, and there
is no better time to talk about how to tangibly
create safe spaces within our selves. This entire month, through
every episode we approach, we're going to be exploring ways

(15:17):
to connect with our inner calm and our inner self
through rituals and remedies that bring us back to a
place of grounded presence. When we are in a place
of grounded presence, we have full access to the truth
of who we are and the truth of our personalities
and the truth of our character. Our personalities change, and

(15:40):
our character can really get tested, our integrity can really
get tested when our emotional needs and our physical needs
aren't really feeling met, when we're out of whack, when
our nervous system is not regulated, when our emotions are
not regulated. So the more we can lean into practices
and processes that support that, the more we can be

(16:02):
our authentic self and being the truth of who we
are and show up in our purpose in the most
impactful way and in the most authentic and easeful way.
So a lot of us have been feeling the quickening
of the energy that's been around us, the sense that
life moves faster than we can really even keep up with.
We also might be feeling overwhelmed because of the time

(16:24):
of year, or craving peace. Together, we're going to slow down,
We're going to find balance. And this month officially, our
theme is called creating safe space within Rituals and Remedies
for finding your calm. So what are rituals? I know,
in the last few years we've even seen that kind

(16:44):
of language popping up a lot more. It's very ancient terminology.
Rituals have always kind of been hand in hand with
what it is to be in devotion. So so many
religious systems, so many belief systems in Wai traditions have
rituals as active parts of them. Some religions you can

(17:05):
see it a little more obviously from the outside looking in,
like Catholicism or even those in the Muslim belief there
are different practices in protocols that are put in place
to engage with one's faith. So in the Catholic system
you might know that as even like using a rosary

(17:26):
during prayer or in meditation. It could be using a
bead in mala in prayer and going through each bead
and reciting a mantra. And these are rituals that are
part of daily practices. Lighting candles, right if you've come
into a church and you light a candle or light
a candle at home or to meditate in your safe space,
that would be considered a ritual. It is something that

(17:50):
adds to the devotional practice you are going to be
doing or you are steeping yourself within. Rituals for me
are are very plentiful in my life. I love to
turn everything into art into beauty, into a ritual of
some kind. So that is lighting sage when I first
get up and before I go to bed, or an encense,

(18:13):
doing specialized prayers that I do with myself, meditating with
my mala, having different kinds of incenses that I use
in ritualistic work or energy work. These are all things
that for me really make me feel more open, make

(18:34):
me feel more grounded, make me feel more connected, and
it helps really take you out of your day to
day grind. So you know that feeling if you're having
a stressful day and you say, Okay, I'm gonna go
try to meditate, and then the first thing that happens
when you sit down is you feel really tense. Right,
you haven't had any foreplay for the meditation, so you

(18:56):
feel really really full of thoughts sometimes or restless. Well.
Having these rituals and these practices going along with these
sequences and practices that you do, it helps set the stage,
It helps make it easier, It helps bring you into
state of relax It helps sharpen your mastery and really

(19:20):
get those mastery engines going. It is slow practice and
process where you are bringing a lot of diligence and
devotion and presence to what you're doing in preparation for
you to be in your faith practice, whatever that looks
like for each of us, or your nervous system regulation practice.

(19:43):
So some of what that does is if you have
open flame, that elemental energy, it is soothing you. That
fire is bringing soothing into this space. You're having certain
sense come into your nose, come into your physical body,
that is disarming you. It's bringing you down and in
so that you can more deeply connect to whatever your

(20:03):
practice is. So if you do some of these things
before prayer, it can really magnify the power of the
prayer or deepen your feeling of being supported and connected
to God when you're in that prayer. If you're doing
these in your meditation practice, it allows you to get
to that gap, that space of observation that we are

(20:26):
always looking into when we are in a meditation practice,
or if you're getting ready to be in a breath work.
It helps you come down and in easier and faster,
so that you can come into that grounded space and
really regulate your breathing, which regulates your emotions and regulates
your nervous system. So it's kind of that layered approach,

(20:47):
and you're not going to do it all perfectly, all fast,
all right away. These are different layers that you can
add in. You may want to do these layers a
couple times a week or multiple times a day. I'll
find the perfect cadence for you. But just notice and
observe and start to build your understanding of what do
you like, what feels good, what makes you feel emotionally supported.

(21:12):
It's a slow rhythm. And this is the part of
the practice and the self work that I really love
the most because it unlocks your creativity at such a
high and deep level, and it turns some of the
genius that you may have in the outside world to yourself.
There are some ways that you're giving aesthetic or some

(21:34):
of your best ideas out to monetary work, or to
authority or to projects, and these are ways that you
get to give all of those gifts that you possess
to yourself and refine them. And that slow refinement also
feeds the outer world that it feeds that inner world

(21:54):
first and it gets really special and delicious. So to
really ground everything that I'm saying, let me kind of
honing it in a little further. But rituals are simple,
supportive practices that are small or large. They're deeply personal,
they're meaningful, they're intentional, and these are the things that
we do on a regular basis to help us stay grounded.

(22:18):
They help us tune into what we need and to
support our overall well being and wellness. Rituals are not
at all one size fits all. There's no magic formula
to the perfect ritual. It's what you like, it's what
brings you to life, it's what spiritually and energetically turns
you on. They help us really know and begin to

(22:45):
explore what truly uniquely works for us. The beauty of
rituals is that they can be this be spoken, personalized,
and they can be simply whatever resonates with us, whatever
feels nourishing and our bodies and our soul, and whatever
is more meaning for us. Especially when it comes to

(23:05):
choosing a morning and evening rituals. Now you can do
them the same, or you can have something that really
invigorates you in the morning, really grounds you at night.
That's when you get to get very very playful with it.
So whether that means like morning meditation and afternoon walk,
lighting a candle before you sleep, or even journaling for
five minutes a day. It is discovering what supports you

(23:33):
deeply well. The power of the ritual is that when
we explore the different kinds, there are so many ways
to create them in ways that nourish us. Grounding rituals
can be really really simple. Enjoying a quiet tea can
be really nice in the morning. I love to start
my morning, either with a tea or with warm water

(23:56):
with a little squeeze of lemon inside of it. That
really gets me going. It gets me to wake up.
I also like to the first thing I do when
I wake up. I love to warm my body up
by getting out of bed and doing some slow stretches.
So for me, that looks like a few cat cows
in and out, kind of tucking the tailbone and then

(24:18):
pushing the hips out, head down, head up. If you're
not familiar with that term cat cow, it's a yoga posture.
Consider looking up some images on or videos on YouTube
right now to get kind of a feel of what
I'm saying. But that feels really good for me. I
do slow stretching. I have some wooden tools that I
use on my back and my body to get this

(24:40):
circulation going, and I find that overall my body feels
really healthy and supported throughout the day, and it helps
me make sure I'm not injuring anything with any quick
turns or horsing around with my son. So that is
really helpful for me. Spending time in nature. Sure, so

(25:00):
we don't all have access to this, but even if
it is opening a window and taking in a deep
breath from the outside, that can feel good. Depending on
where you are. Get creative. You know your space better
than I do. You know what part of the city
you're in better than I do. That looks like for
myself walking outside and immediately putting my feet in grass,

(25:22):
looking up to the sky if the sun is out,
looking up at the sun, taking in three to five
deep breaths, and I do that with my son. We
both do that to start our morning, and so that
really feels great for the both of us. Rituals do
not have to be hard. Simplicity is key. Do what

(25:44):
you'll really do a lot of times, especially if some
of us are Type A or we're perfectionists, or we're
successful or used to doing things well, or just have
a nice eye for detail or want to please. Can
be this over perfectionism that makes everything too perfect, to

(26:04):
pristine to actually be helpful. I do not want you
to do that. Start slow, start simple, and just notice
what feels good. It does not have to be instagrammable,
It does not have to be so pristine and perfect.

(26:24):
It can be ugly, it can be brief. But I
just want you to lock in and start to get
a feel of what works for you. Taking a few
deep breaths, slowly drinking coffee, taking a breath between each
sip after it goes down your throat. You're just looking
to find ways to create more opportunity for presence in

(26:48):
your life. Start building these daily practices slow. The goal
is not to add more pressure to your life. I
want you to integrate these rituals in your daily routine
and very small, meaningful way. Whether it's five minute grounding
practice in the morning or something a little bit longer.
You may have time to dance in the evening. You

(27:08):
may have time to really soak into some deep meditations,
do some sna do some cold plunge, do some recapitulation.
But don't let it feel pressured. You don't want to
make it feel like something else. You're failing at You
want it to feel beautiful for you. You wanted to feel

(27:28):
like a reprieve. You want it to feel like a
companion to your life and something that you do that's
special for you simply because you deserve it. There's not
necessarily an end in sight. There definitely, as I keep saying,
no way to do it perfect, no way to really
do it wrong, And there's no rewards you're going to
get at the end of this. So take the pressure off.

(27:50):
Just start to notice what is making life feel a
little better every day. Where is a place for slight,
be more delight or pleasure or smile or whatever it
is that you uniquely need and want. It is a
pause to help you stay connected to you and your needs.

(28:12):
Listen to those inner signals. Listen to that inner intuition.
Our bodies and minds throughout the day give us all
the subtle cues when things are off or when we
need something. Just like it lets us know when we're hungry,
you get that tummy growl. There are other things that
come up for us too that we notice. A pinon
our intuition, a hid in our gut, a hid in
our heart, the feeling of maybe an ache or a

(28:35):
desire for some rest. Right, do you feel tension in
your shoulders, notice it, Meet that need as you feel it,
Take a breath, restlessness in your chest, or any kind
of a sense of unease. These are all signals or
messages from your inner self, just asking that you take
a moment to pay a little more attention to your

(28:57):
beautiful body and your beautiful life. It's really important to
start to notice and recognize these signs and slow down
for them in real time as you're able, and I
know sometimes depending on how your work life looks, how
your parent life looks, how your trauma looks, there can

(29:18):
be different barriers to being able to access that. A
simple deep breath can begin to show you where space
can be made, how to make it, where you feel,
how to feel It's slow, slow, slow, slow, slow. Give

(29:38):
yourself the whole month to slowly start to observe and notice,
and when you notice these signals, respond in kindness, respond
with support. It is so easy to ignore these feelings,
to ignore the signals, to ignore our needs and push
through because so many of us have been doing it

(30:00):
for our whole lives. This month, I want to invite
you to not do it that way. Throughout this month,
we're going to dive into meeting our needs with the
dualistic nature of the holiday season, that mix of love
and dysfunction, and sometimes that that mix of you know,

(30:20):
real comparison between ours and other people's experiences, between things
we have and things other people have. Be that material,
be that familial, be that in terms of joy, be
that in terms of having basic needs met. All of
that can create a sense of distress and disease and

(30:43):
start inside of our bodies this time of year. So
we're going to sink into some of that as we
explore this month, and we're going to go over very
practical grounding practices and find ways to create more of
an inner anchor. We're going to lean into meditation and breath,
heart centered focus, setting intentions, and creating practice. So your

(31:08):
soul work for this episode as we gear up to
dive into this month is I want you to really
spend some time with yourself, and I want you to
do three things. Okay, the first one and if you
have a journal, this could be really helpful. Or even
if you just know you're gonna have some time in
traffic and you can turn the music down and set
aside sometime to think about this prompt. This could be

(31:30):
very helpful. So your first would be I want you
to take stock of what are your rituals and your
remedies now in your life as it stands. What would
you consider a ritual? Is it a little more elaborate,
like you have the sense and the safe space and
a little bit of zen. Or is it a little
more natural to the flow of your day, like you're

(31:52):
drinking that tea, you're drinking that coffee with a little
more intention, you're grounding your feet. Come up with your
list of what you can already identify that you do,
and if it's nothing, that's okay too, because that is
also the point of this moment. We can start from scratch.
The next thing would be, I want you to start
to notice this time of year, especially going into this moment,

(32:14):
what are some of your needs? Really make a list.
What are some of the pressures that may be coming
up for you right now? Is it related to holidays, spending?
Is it related to maybe just thinking a lot and
planning about what the next year is going to be.
Is it related to family? How do you feel this
type of year? What is your truth. What is the
truth of what your life looks like in the holidays?

(32:38):
What is the truth of how family looks and expresses
itself to you? How do you feel when you're in
these moments? Notice it. I want you to just start
taking stocks so that we can approach them over the
course of these next couple of episodes. And we know
where your curriculum lies. So what is your work to
be done? If we are going to be exploring a

(33:00):
system regulation, if we're going to be exploring holiday season
and some of the blues of this time of the
year and some of the strengths, and if we're gearing
up to really support ourselves with a practice that can
push us through twenty twenty five, notice that, what are
your needs? And then I want you, as the third thing,

(33:25):
to think, what is the deeper intention? What is a
deeper desire? Not just the need, but what is a deeper, deeper,
deeper desire for you in this moment? What are some
of the cravings of your heart? Who will you be?
How will you feel if you can have a life
that feels a little more harmonized, a little more healed,

(33:46):
a little more whole, a little less reactive. How do
you feel about the idea of getting closer with your
body right now, of getting closer with your inner world?
I want you to notice, I want you to write
to it a lie little bit. Thank you for joining
me this episode. I hope that we are able to

(34:08):
create an inner sanctuary together. My desire and my intention
is for you to feel equipped with calming practices that
feed your purpose and the truth of who you are.
We've just released a new playlist on our Spotify ritual gems.
I hope you'll check that out. I hope you'll download

(34:29):
the pdf, sign up for the newsletter, and I can't
wait to explore all of these things with you. Thank
you for joining now, mist Stay. The content presented on
Deeply Wells serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It
should not be considered a replacement for personalized medical or

(34:52):
mental health guidance and does not constitute a provider patient relationship.
As always, it is advisable to consult with your healthcare
provider or health team for any specific concerns or questions
that you may have. Connect with me on social at
Debbie Brown that's Twitter and Instagram, or you can go

(35:13):
to my website Debbie Brown dot com and if you're
listening to the show on Apple Podcasts, don't forget, Please rate, review,
and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Deeply
Well is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network.
It's produced by Jacquess Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown.

(35:33):
The Beautiful Soundbath You heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from
Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio
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Devi Brown

Devi Brown

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