April 14, 2025 • 62 mins
In this classic episode, Karen and Chris welcome comedian James Adomian to chat about James Bond wizards, trillion dollar coins and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
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you wanna way back home?
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Either way we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
much baggage you claim and give us time and a
terminal engage.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
We want to send you off install.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Tell us all about it.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
We scared or was it fine? Now porn? Do you
(01:17):
need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you
need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Do you need.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
With Karen and Chris welcome to do you need to ride?
This is Chris Fairman.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
This is Karen til Garriff.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
We are immediately picking up our guests. You know our
guest today from clubs and colleges across the country has
been hitting the road circuit, real hard road circuit. Put
your ears together for James Agomian, Thank you, Hello friend.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Hello friend.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yes when you texted Chris and I, I don't have
your phone number for some reason, and it scared me
so badly. It was like hey guys, or I'm like nope,
don't answer that. And then I finally texted Chris. I
was like, who was that.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
He's like, it's Jason DOOMI oh right, because I was like, oh, yeah,
I could have asked real time.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
I'm hoping that I had a very like strange message
where it's like hello, I've been waiting.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Hello, my skin is soft as yours.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
Yeah, it's dare you meet me again? So soon after
our last crossing.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I'm getting texted by that bridge troll again.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
How are you?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I'm good. I'm glad this has worked out me too.
I was in I did some miscalculations of something.
Speaker 6 (02:57):
I love how the people look on the Testla. I've
never seen the people the map before.
Speaker 7 (03:01):
Yeah, I've always seen the cars that they have.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
And this is an updated version because now it's got people.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And it showed her fall down and then she disappeared.
There was a person laying down for a brief second.
That was amazing.
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Could you let me.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Thank you?
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Yes, there's a major important new Tesla Tesla components we
have animations of there's basically five kinds of people that
we've spent billions of dollars animating all the potential human targets.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
When I looked, it didn't seem like it was showing
the children, and I'm like, that's very Tesla to be like.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
We don't see the children at this point.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
We like most human minds, we assume that the children
may or may not be there. They're like a schro
dinner's child. And it is not until the Tesla hits
the object that it is revealed, whether it was a child, older,
simply fire hydrant or something.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, elon, do you have any kids yourself?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I have more kids than I'm able to count. I've
lost some of them to the woke mind virus. I
have children. I have multiple children from somehow. I have
more mothers of my children than the children themselves. Oh wow,
And yes, there's there's like I believe actually that people
(04:28):
should including gay people. This is something I said recently,
is that I don't have a problem with gays except
that they don't have enough babies.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Right, that's that's kind of obviously.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
This is something that most people like agree with me.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I think twelve children, yeah yeah
yeah wow x.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Yes, the it is the town hall that we'll have.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
It's human there for you.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
It's great, it's going great. We've gotten rid of all that.
We've gotten rid of so many of the fake accounts. Yeah, really, yes,
we've cleaned it up a lot, a lot of fake
accounts that we're posing as verified celebrities, right, and we've
replaced them with actual verified accounts, which are obviously people
that tend to be of agreement on the issues of
the day.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah, people outside of cities.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Yes, and a lot of them. A lot of our
verified people are you know, you might say, oh, they
come from the same IP address in Poland, but like
that's the way the democracy should work, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
True, yeah, yeah, style, that's just because that's where the
server is, right.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Well obviously, yes, yeah, I mean you're you're obviously someone
that I would probably elevate your way of thinking on
a truly democratic platform. When I say that, I mean
obviously not a Democratic Party, like something more tray cool
than that, which is like elevating the voices of thought leaders.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Do you show up to work?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Are you at the office.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
I sleep in the office a ship and a cart
on top of a SpaceX rocket. I have little tunnels
that I build for myself, and I just kind of
I don't get the ferments to build them outside of
my different campuses from various communist municipalities. But I am
able to take my little, my little tubes underground from
(06:24):
one side of the SpaceX campus to the other.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
That's probably a good thing about moving to a Texas
There's no building codes at all.
Speaker 8 (06:33):
Right, It's a great place, great place for like free speech,
you know, free speech where and obviously when you talk
about free speech, when someone says I believe in free speech,
you know exactly what they believe in.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
Yes, and I'm when you say i'm I'm a freethinker.
That means that you believe a certain set of beliefs.
We all know that. But they are the correct ones.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yeah, yeah, free thinking has its constraints.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
You know. When you see someone and I love these people,
these are the ones that I think of as like
great minds. You see that they say, oh, I believe
in free speech, freethinker not into your pronouns. You know
that that person is like definitely they're going to have
like some Marcus Aurelius quote in their profile.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Next, and also like a marble statue will be their
profile picture.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Sure maybe some What are those sunglasses that are so
identifying with a free, free thinking mind?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Well, yeah, like so cool.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I mean, I know you're talking about Oakley wrap arounds
and I have some blades myself, but the lenses just
work so well, I know, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
I mean, well, I think for those of us that
have our third eye open, we need to have the
kind of like obviously like shade from the sun from
that third eye, and it could be.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
The polarized lens.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Right, Yeah, yes, I think I'm trying to solve our
polarized politics and also at the same time switch people
into polarized lenses. We've got another guy walking by, and
if you can see on the sidewalk, he perfectly matches
this animation of a generic human figure.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
He was Truman's Show style sent down the sidewalk to
be registered on this car.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, it's funny, you know, when they don't.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
You're in a hyper loop.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Actually, this is all simulation, all of it.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Because when we cracked the idea that the Earth is
a simulation, we said, why don't we just do it ourselves,
become gods. That's one of the things we're working on.
When he picked me up as soon as we got in.
What we're seeing is we're in a hyper loop that
can't go very far because it's only permitted underneath the
SpaceX campus here, right, And so this is all being
generated to you at the same rate that you're pressing
(08:49):
the gas pedal or i should say the electronic pedal.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Oh wow, in real time. That's amazing. It's weird how
that guy's Fedora was just a question mark. It wouldn't
acknowledge that at a Fedora.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Well. Also, and you you know, we've tried to gamify
because there's horrible accidents that happens, and if you've notice
on the screen, it looks like kind of a low
five video game. So we have gamified certain elements of
it where if you do hit some guy to try
to discourage you from it, much like Sonic the Hedgehog,
you'll see on the animation that all of the rings
will pop out of him that he's.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
Been carrying with him.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
A big burst of rings will pop out onto the sidewalk,
letting you know that you've made a mistake by hitting him.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
It seems like though that would be encouraging.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Well, you can collect the rings, which is a way
of that that helps us to signal to the relevant authorities.
Speaker 6 (09:36):
And so there has been a casualty in the simulation.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
When you see the way, people might argue that you're
asking people that killed pedestrians.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
To power up yourself, or there are certain kinds of
limited low, low vibration people who would bring up that objection.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And what I would say, what I would say to
that low but usually I would ignore the slow vivation.
But I'm happy to take this r So what I
would tell, what I would tell them in every such
case is that, obviously, and this is something the great
minds already know. Life is only with us for a
(10:14):
certain of time.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And well, everyone knows we die. Is that what you mean?
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Everyone knows who die? But do they really know it?
Do they plan their lives around it? Because to me,
it's a great honor to die in service of some
kind of great sort of project. Whether it's the Great Pyramids,
the people who died building the Great Pyramids to me
put themselves in service of humanity. Just look how useful
this the ap pearments are as technology today we all
(10:41):
use them as landmarks and so forth. I think in
the same way, I think of myself as a latter
day pharaoh, and that those who would sacrifice their lives
to me are like some kind of you know, ancient
Egyptian work.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
That's interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, sure what you're but you're more of instead of
like from a line of you know, hard.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Workers, very hard working entrepreneurs.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
But you're the pharaohs.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
So aren't you the one that sits there and like
whips people and tells them what to do?
Speaker 4 (11:12):
I have to do that for me.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Okay, So people in your office very important, Just just
like just like, come on, made sure that there was no.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Organization of sort of like a unionization of any of
those workers as they were floating the blocks across the
lake to assemble itself into to be assembled into the
great model monuments to his you know, supreme mind. It's
(11:43):
just important. That's I'm just following his success.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Of course, how do you say?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
His name is obviously he was obviously the one I just.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
Forgot you actually from Canada. I read somewhere that's well, yes.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
There's I spent a large part from the childhoods in Canada,
and there was also a great amount of time spence
in South Africa with my family's from South Africa and Rhodesia,
which is the correct word.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
For they the diamond businesses.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
That's a great slur, a great slur, my family, it's
a great It's almost as painful of a racialized slur
as calling someone sis.
Speaker 6 (12:30):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
If you said that on Twitter, I would have had
you been right and then reinstated if you had enough
billionaires right that you should be or some guy named
like cat liver Box or whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Well, I know you took my check mark away, so
it probably had something to do that.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
But the answer is no, we were not in the
diamond business. Primarily, they were like incidental diamonds that we
found in our minds. But primarily we were in like
the business of rubies and emeralds.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
So that's fleets obviously different. No one's ever heard of
the emeralds.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Yes, we made great We took great pains to make
sure that the term blood emeralds never took off or
blood ruby, which you think would.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, were those pains that you took were they in
relation to actually protecting the people that worked.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
At those mines.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
It's very important that the people are protected long enough
to keep bringing them jewels out of the minds. And
we've extended this logic into all of the other there's
cobalts and so forth. There's going to power in the
Tesla's Wow, it's really really really like really really cool stuff,
like really tray cool, like Hollywood level, Like I.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Can't have you saying tray cool that much. I need
you get out of it.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
It's like hyperlooping cool.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
What is what's tray cool?
Speaker 4 (13:47):
When we start, well, it's you know, it's just like,
well to answer questions. The other question was if I
was Canadian, and that's true. I'm most of South African,
so a mix of both, so THATX sence is a
little strange for most people because I've lived in America
so long, in Canada before that South Africa for that.
And I'm also like a strange scientist, so I speak
(14:10):
in the way that so like a doctor would write
a memo, oh dropping like lost of words here there yeah,
and you can think of it as basically like a
people say super villain, but I think of like, you know,
like the color the color character of a James Bond movie,
the interesting sort of wizard character of a James Bond's movie,
(14:31):
the useful antagonist that I believe we should rewrite those
Bond movies so that they are the ones that become
listened to.
Speaker 5 (14:38):
So Goldfinger would really be driving.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Goldfinger wishes he did what I did. Goldfinger was only
able to destroy I'm a builder, so yes, Canadian and
South Africa, so I'm evil, but I very plied about.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
It, yes, and kind of soft spoken, which is surprising
to me.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Very also kind of like boring to do for too long. Yeah,
sort of comedic sense. So I'm also shielded from that
where you would think I'd be mocked much more often.
But there's a an essential sort of but there's shut
most of those people down. You'll notice that they never
become famous. There's something that's that's I believe protective, like
(15:24):
a protective shielding coaching about having a very boring sort
of like just like everything is like obvious and I've
already thought of it, and never raising your voice of course.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah, yeah, it's you would think.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
This is the way things will be on Mars.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah. Yeah, it's supposed to bring me calm, but somehow
it makes me nervous. Your stop is right here. We
have to pick up Lewis Black. It's going to talk
about read from a teenager's diary.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
It's you're exiting the hyper here.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, we're just gonna sab.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
So you'll notice that the sun is going to become
an impossibly horrific color for just two seconds. This happens
whenever anyone enters and exits. There's a visual shock, especially
to the driver.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Damn, we missed your stop.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
By Tesla.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
He departiclized and then reassembled. Yeah. Hey hey here, Yeah,
it's great to see you.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
So good to see you.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, I'm glad we made room for you. Sorry about
that other guy.
Speaker 6 (16:47):
I know you got a tight schedule. I know you
were doubling up rides like yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
Yeah, we're doing kind of like the uber pool, and I.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Was running along on the running board of the car,
like it's very interesting. You have this modern car, but
you have a running board on the side like an
old like an old Rolls Royce or something.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Yeah, it's kind of like, uh.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
Like a footman. I was standing on the.
Speaker 5 (17:05):
Side bank rubber from the thirties.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
You could you could stand on the side either to
help someone out in their carriage house, yeah, or also
if you had a Tommy gun, you just be on
the side of the car.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Mind the puddle me lady, Yeah, she let me throw
down my jacket.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Yeah, make way you know, I was loving I was
I was talking with somebody about this. How I love
some of the language of the Three Stooges era. This
is this is particular love where there was like, hey,
smarten up, why don't you? Yeah, would you.
Speaker 6 (17:37):
Just tell someone to get smarter?
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Yes? Smartting up there?
Speaker 5 (17:41):
I love.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I think make Way would be an incredible name for
a comedy album, make.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Way make Way, now that I think of it.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Clear Out. What is your new special called The Path
Path of Most Resistance? Yeah? I like that.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
I like that.
Speaker 6 (17:55):
Out Now is it?
Speaker 1 (17:57):
It's out.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
It's on eight hundred pound Gorilla Media and and uh
it's a as of September nineteenth. It's it's everywhere. It's
streaming on YouTube. It's available for rent for purchase, for
for for rent and purchase. You could do both.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
You.
Speaker 6 (18:14):
You can rent to own.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Oh, you can lease until it's yours.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
You could lease it till it's yours. Pass available.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Now what's your favorite part? Do you want to re
enact it?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (18:25):
Oh god, yes, this will be this is.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah like morning radio. I'll cue you in a very
unleashed way.
Speaker 6 (18:32):
The podcast killed the radio zoo. Okay, so what are
people liking about it?
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Okay? I do this act out of this this true
idea of the trillion dollar coin, which is a real
political idea, and it's so I'm like, I love this
idea where Congress would pass the law and I'm not
making it up.
Speaker 6 (18:58):
It's like a real idea in the newspaper.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
And Congress would pass the law requiring the US meant
to create a one trillion dollar platinum coin, and then
the Federal Reserve Bank, by the same law, would be
required to purchase it for one trillion US dollars, and
then that money would be used to pay down the
national debt or something more useful than a fictional debt
to no one.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Because even when I was in high school, I asked
the dumb cooin, everyone laughed at me. I'm like, if
we're in debt, as a country, why can't we just,
without telling the rest of the world, print more money
and pay it off.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
That's what we're slowly doing.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
We're doing it.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Oh the chicken should do it so slowly that no
one objects.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Oh my god. In sixth grade, I thought of that.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
You're a visionary.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, I should have been running shit.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
So wait, so the bit is about the.
Speaker 6 (19:43):
Trillion dollar yes, So then I guess that's the setup.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
And then I say, you know, like, my one note is,
you cannot have a regular ass coin size coin. It
cannot be like a silver dollar sized piece of bullshit.
If you're gonna give me a trillion dollar coin, it
has to be scaled up in diameter and in circumference,
and it has to be most importantly hefty and unwieldy,
too difficult to carry for the two idiot workmen, the
(20:09):
Laurel and Hardy type stooges that are hired to carry
it across the street from the Federal Reserve thing go
to the Federal Reserve Bank from the US men, And
so that I pretend that I'm carrying a big, heavy
platinum coin and I'm like watching it, moron. It a trillion.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Dollars that kind of guy.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
You know.
Speaker 6 (20:26):
Here, you see boy, it's how much is a trillion
dollars a head work? It's a million million moren No
is that a million million or a million million?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
It's the same thing. And then they drop they drop
it and it rolls into the Potomac River, a.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Trillion dollar coin right in the river. Well, boss, I guess,
uh make a week.
Speaker 9 (20:52):
You don't make a wish shut a trillion dollar coin,
you mackerel.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Oh God, the language. That's what I love about the
Three Stooges is every episode they had a different job, Like.
Speaker 6 (21:06):
They keep getting high.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, and they suck up. They were piano movers. I've
seen them be Civil War aradentists. I've seen them just
doing light construction and they never finished a job. Yet
they got all this freelance referrals to do unrelated gig.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Yes, they no one went to the trouble of pulling
down the recommendation posts, right.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, the Three Stooges are pre yelp. But that's the
benefit of like going from hey we bake fancy cakes
one star.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
These guys took the wooden fish off my wall and
started sawing into it, trying to eat it.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
Do you know how much I paid for that swordfish?
Speaker 6 (21:53):
They were hired.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
They were hired to simply change a toilet and they
ripped the plumbing pipes.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Out of party, they started fighting, and not traditional fighting,
mostly I poking, and then.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
They slept an old fat lady.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, there was a lot of violence that really, we
got custard on my husband's Well, are they available for
uh plumbing?
Speaker 10 (22:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (22:21):
Yeah, well I gotta work cheap.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
They used to play those It was three Stooges and
Laurel and Hardy at the pizza place that we would
go to and it would be like kids loving it
and it would stress me out. So I'm like, why
are they fighting this much? Are they brothers? What is
wrong with these people?
Speaker 6 (22:40):
Like, well, the stoes, you didn't know why they were
It was.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Like you disagree so much and like settle this ship quiet,
you get the job done.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
Like it was like so frustrating to me.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Never finished a job. No, they're just the work spot
with blood everywhere.
Speaker 6 (22:59):
Yeah, slap you were just allowed to slap people back.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Yes, really and children?
Speaker 6 (23:05):
Yeah, And it was just that was like the thought.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Now to us, it's kind of horrific where you're like, well,
you have to warn the kids, don't do this, don't
do this, don't do this.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
But watch how funny it is.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Yeah, But back then it was like, well, it's a
relief because in real life we're hitting each other so much.
Let's go see some some movie where they show how
it's not so bad. Yeah, you see their dad's not
the only one hitting people.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Yeah, we slap each other with the depression doesn't hurt
as bad.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah, and it's a great depressions it was. Yeah, it's
only funny to the men in the room of a
certain age, right, there's never My mom hated.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
It really, Yeah, I loved it, did she? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (23:47):
What was your mom like, James?
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Yeah, well, my mom came from a family of her
and her sisters were very funny, and so they would
all they would do the three Stoogest voices.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Yeah, yeah, they would do all that stuff.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
I guess I liked the voices. I guess I did
like that part.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I really watched The Stooges for the for the ideas ideas.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Is it mo that has longing and lost like the
parted black hair, he's scared? I thought, here's the scariest
looking dude. Ever, Yeah, he's horrified.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
He had old face, young hair, which no one likes.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Yeah, you didn't see that hair again until the Beatles.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, if you Beatles have stoops.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
They brought it together and everyone's like screaming because they're like,
finally the three Stooges makes sense.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
His face. You ever look at like a football team,
like a team photo from the thirties, and they're all
like eighteen years old, but they all look like moons. Yeah,
they're all just looked like they woke up in a
blanket again, Like.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
I had a high school sweetheart and I buried the last.
Speaker 5 (24:49):
My dad broke my nose when I was seven years old.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I guess that makes sense if the everyone died at
age forty five, of course you're gonna be.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I got a diet of dirt and potatoes. I take
a bath once awake on Sunday.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
It's a bath and an old metal tub, and all.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
The neighbors can watch me and come over.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Yeah, what are you looking at? Season there's several nineteen
forties things in my special. I realized, oh, there's that bit,
and then I have a bit about Castle Blanca, and
I have a bit about the Wizard of Oz and
I'm like, in hindsight, I'm like, I'm like, oh, there's the.
Speaker 6 (25:23):
Whole thing about how I look.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
I look like I look like the ninth hottest movie
star of nineteen forty nine. Oh where that did not
have to be attractive to be a famous male actor.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
And what's he sounds like.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
He's like, oh, darling, I've got my bathing suit up
above my well, above my belly. Buddy. Of course, I've
been swimming and smoking at the same time all day.
Now it's time for a cocktail. It's three pm.
Speaker 6 (25:45):
Wouldn't you say, yeah, yeah, all, yeah, of course I'm overweight.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
I'm I'm a leading man, heart throb. Of course I
have a bit of a.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
Yeah, of course I look like the father of the
people who came to watch this movie. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
It's funny to hear my dad describe like Clark Gable
and oh we have was seven feet tall and handsome,
And then you watch these movies and it's just a yeah, guy,
a cigarettes for breakfast.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
There's one like the first I think the first big
Clark Gable movie is it happened one night?
Speaker 5 (26:20):
That sounds like it would be right, that's.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
The one where he he looks kind of young. Yeah,
and then after that it's just he ages five years
every movie.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's like a year for every one hundred bottles of
gin that you drank.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
Drunk right now, I mean, should we have a drink?
Speaker 4 (26:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Rhetorical, I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna be on
or off camera sober.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
So Yeah. The special is an examination of my failure
to account for myself being in this place and time.
M So, there's lots of throw throwbacks to another classic
movies Days, among other things.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
I love it when you did it. Where did you
record it?
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Uh, it's I did it at the Allegion, Oh, the
Allegiant Theater.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
You keep it local.
Speaker 6 (27:10):
I did it local. I did the Allsion.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
There's there's a there's a sweat problem in the special, sure,
because it's the first one I filmed. I've only done
shorter sets before film, so this was the first time
I filmed an hour.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Did you have a more than one layer of clothing on? Yes?
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Because I mean this is this was an internal argument.
I had something I wanted to wear and was like, James,
you gotta put a classy button shirt over it. And
I'm like, well, that's gonna make me hot. And then
I should have had a black T shirt, but I
just had a dark gray one, so it was not
dark enough. There was the whole thing. Uh, I hate
(27:50):
that sign. I just the billboard. I just signed this.
It's a right wing political billboard. Great, we're in a
people who live on koang are weird, so we're in
the Konga past. There's nothing about coyotes and weird people
up here. So we say a right wing politically.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Oh yeah, let's not turn left. Yeah, let's stay on
the road.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Well we've made rendered it impossible to turn left.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Don't have that ability to right.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Turns only available in this So did you, of.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
Course start riffing on the fact that you that was
a problem.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Well, there was a crisis between the two tapings, and
they were like, and it's it's your own used.
Speaker 6 (28:30):
It doesn't matter how funny it is. It looks unusable. Yeah,
And there's this.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Hole back and forth about what to do, and I
was like, there's too many cooks in the kitchen. And
finally I was like, okay, I'm not going to change
the wardrobe just in case we can cut back and
forth somewhere. Let it get wet at the same time
that it did in the first show. Try it out,
let it get wet again. It's got and it did.
It's gonna happen exactly the same time, and so it's
(28:56):
like it's the sweat is like a clockwork thing and
makes so many pints per hour.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, you were doing the jokes in the same order
on each show, right.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
Pretty much, so it'll work so that But the second
time I just addressed it in the room when it
was right, and we ended up only using the second show.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
Because it's a fog machine that was weight.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
There was like twice as much fog in the first taping,
and then it would just look like a different place.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
I'm going to set a meeting with the eight hundred
pound grilla.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
They were good.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
It wasn't them.
Speaker 6 (29:27):
They were great. They were really great, and I have
no complaints.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
But the second show, the machine for that's hilarious.
Speaker 6 (29:32):
I don't know, just to give it like a.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
It's funny ground. The one time I headlined the improv,
they're like, do you want anything, and some for some reason,
I said, how about a fog machine?
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
And then I was just distracted by the fact that
I had a remote and I had control over it
and so my stage. Yeah, so everything became a magic
trick instead of a joke.
Speaker 6 (29:53):
So that's why they've banned fog machines.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
It's fun. Yeah I started the band. Uh, but I'm
they don't care about those rules. At the Illegion. That's
so great. I'm glad you had a fog mare.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
So yeah. Then I was like addressing it every like
fifteen minutes. I'm going like, wow, here it is, folks.
I look at a pig that crawled out of the ocean.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
That's so great.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
As if you addressed that something went wrong, yeah, and
it's as if it went right.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
I always wont I escape with these guys every morning
and we're all the same age and it's before noon,
but you still go for it. Oh, I four times
a week. I'm filming a video part for escape video
and he's really pushing me.
Speaker 6 (30:37):
And bombing out.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I can't. I can't. The fifteen year old version of
me won't let me be bad. So I'm very sore,
but I sweat more than anyone else, And to where
I'm like, does this mean I'm healthy or is it
a health issue?
Speaker 4 (30:52):
I sweat so much that if I had thought about it,
it would have been an argument for like, you shouldn't
get into comedy, right right, I sweat so much that
someone should have intervened and been like, whatever you do,
don't get on stage.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I disagree, Yeah I do.
Speaker 5 (31:09):
I disagree.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
I mean, it's February, then it is not a problem.
But I taped this a year ago in September twenty
twenty three, and like it's still hot in September.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
I remember we both did a show at the r Bar.
It was like, you know where you have to have
a secret code to get in, even as one of
the performers. That's always how you make for a good audience.
Make it hard to get in. But they you and
I both were I know you to be a sweater
like me. We were the sweaty ones. And and you
(31:45):
did that bit about the the boarding process. That's I mean,
I'm not going to make you do beds that airlines
when you bids.
Speaker 7 (31:55):
Yeah, do it as a special.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
It's on the special, and the wizard thing.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
Is on this.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
How about a wizard complaining about the boarding process.
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Just give us like a little buffer.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
That's almost literally you just basically sewed together two bits
that I should have in a callback, and why I
am a member of the Platinum Chalice Loyalty program.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
I love that.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
And it's the Platinum Chalice stuck aside your dog.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Order I forgot, I'm switching him up. Yeah there. The
canonical version is on the film Special Folks.
Speaker 6 (32:40):
For the Purest I should I love this part. When
does this come out?
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Oh right, the thirtieth September thirtieth yet oh so today
today is yeah? Great?
Speaker 6 (32:50):
How convenient it was going to come out in a
further time in the future.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
This is live to tape like old Jimmy Kimmel, and
we deal with it.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
Yeah, James, do you want to go to like the
In and Out Drive?
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
You're hungry?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Sure, and it takes a long time to eat up
a bunch of stuff there, right, we got we got
time to burn.
Speaker 5 (33:11):
Absolutely sure.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
We can pull over and do a little, uh you know,
mouth fully work.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
I love the I love the in and out reference
in The Big Olebowski when they're like he lures them
into this trip to the valley to intimidate the kid Larry,
and he's like, stop by the in and out.
Speaker 11 (33:34):
We get some burgers, get some beers, and then everything
goes wrong, but they do get their in and out
at the end, even though the windshields smash.
Speaker 6 (33:45):
That movie is so fun. I love it so Yeah.
Nothing nothing, you know, nothing is fucked. Nothing is fucked.
The goddamn plane is crashing the mountain.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
We started saying nothing as fucked for a little while
when things were super fucked, and it was one of
those It really works.
Speaker 5 (34:07):
It works if you say that.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
One of the best things is how the dude picks
up things that he hears other people say throughout the movie.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Oh, I didn't even know.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
In the beginning, he's George W. Bush is on the
news going like this aggression will not stand and did.
Later on he's like, you know this aggression will not stand.
Speaker 6 (34:26):
Man, Oh that's right.
Speaker 5 (34:28):
I never picked up on that.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Oh, that's great. I gotta remind.
Speaker 6 (34:32):
And there's things that Walter says to him that he
ends up saying or.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Or I'm oh, you're doing the thing that.
Speaker 5 (34:41):
When everyone else does.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Yeah, but you did it knowing that they were stopped
at that light. I endorsed what you did.
Speaker 5 (34:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
You're telling me you sipped around the cars that were
waiting to turn right.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 6 (34:55):
Yeah, why did you entitle yourself to do that?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Sorry?
Speaker 5 (34:58):
Well, I just thought I could shut up?
Speaker 6 (35:04):
What characters, Judge.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Judy, do you have your receipt?
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Shut up? I love I love that. None of Judge
Judy's rulings were ever over the entire course of her
career based in law.
Speaker 6 (35:22):
It was always like, why do you have a ten
town cat that large?
Speaker 1 (35:28):
You?
Speaker 4 (35:29):
Shut up? There has to be a you shut up.
There has to be someone who's always disfavored from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Also, there's the perfect gift, which is her slamming her
hand down on her bench three times and then going
debt debt like to an in watch on her hand
and it's the funniest fucking thing.
Speaker 5 (35:48):
Oh that woman.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Yeah, really grew on me over the years. I used
to think, Wow, this person is so mean, and now
I love her.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
I love Judge Judy, although she has I did see
a picture of her recently. It was like a promo
her show and she was wearing a tight bun and.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
I said, changed her look.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
I said, Judo, we don't do that.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
She'd turned into George Bailey's wife. Had he never been
born not an old spinster, but the worst thing.
Speaker 6 (36:23):
Yeah, get away from my library, sir, you're walking around
with the snow.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Shut up.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
Let jump off a bridge.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Yelling but wanting everyone to be quiet in the library.
Speaker 6 (36:41):
That's La Studios and left.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
We just passed the ivy colored building that's a major
voiceover destination.
Speaker 5 (36:49):
Do you go there?
Speaker 4 (36:50):
I go there fairly often. There's times in my life
when I've been there very often recording some project. So
it's been a minute right now, But where what's the car?
One of the regular go to Independence Studios?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Because right after that was the regular go to where
they did World Stumas Best Week Ever v H one.
Speaker 4 (37:10):
Because I had an audition at that other place that
could block down.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Yeah, that's where I worked for many years.
Speaker 6 (37:15):
Maybe that's how I got the audition.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Yeah, yeah, it was me dropping. I had control over
this whole block your want. Yeah, because of my father
and that the Good Neighbor Restaurant is my father's old hang.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
My father said, we get to voice this.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
He said, I could have extra eggs.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
What is the.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I can only do I can't do SpongeBob, but I
can do just Tom Kenney. I think just him casually at.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
This guy reminds me ahead of us here in the
drive through, you see this guy with his shoe up
in the thing.
Speaker 5 (37:56):
Mm hm.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
So one time I'm gonna tell a reckless driver story.
Driving a very long drive from Fresno to Eureka.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Beautiful country.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Well it's like Norco and you think, oh, I'm driving
from NorCal to Norcow. It's not gonna take that long,
But it's like three times as long as the rest
of California.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Hours of calfar because.
Speaker 6 (38:19):
You had to go all the way up to Reading
and then make.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
A left, and you're on the five most of the time,
right five up.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
To Reading and then you take this weird mountain road
and so I barely had enough times. So I'm like,
I'm already speeding, right, but like normal speeding. I'm driving
like ten over the speed limit on an open highway.
Speaker 6 (38:38):
There's this like this car comes.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
Roaring up on my right and it was like a
Plymouth horizon from like nineteen ninety. It was like an
old like you don't see these anymore, like an old
Plymouth horizon. But it was booking it and I was,
you know, I'm doing I'm probably doing. I'm gonna guess
I guess I'm gonna be say, I'm gonna going like
ninety min an hour, eighty five, I'm doing like eighty
(39:02):
five and his.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Seventy five freeway Desert Freeway, Desert Freeway.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
And then this guy's roaring up like thirty miles faster
than me or more so he's probably he's doing one
hundred and fifteen or one hundred and twenty, barreling down
the road.
Speaker 6 (39:15):
And I see he has his left foot out the
out the window, drugs.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Any shirtless yep, and there's like you could see and
he he's smoking, shirtless, only wearing crop shorts, so it's
like barefoot out the window of this Plymouth horizon. And
he has like a girl in the passenger seat also
she has her feet out the window. So he's just
driving with one foot and smoking and doing a bunch
(39:40):
of shit barreling down the road. Wow. And then like
thirty minutes later I hit this like incredible traffic, like
incredible traffic. And then and then like it took a
long time to get through. And then like it took
like it took like an hour to get through this
traffic zone. And then there was this like red Plymouth
horizon that was like upside down on the side. Of course,
(40:03):
the morons they went.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
For it, oh wow, But the people were nowhere to
be seen or they don't know.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
For the children listening, I like to think they were
thrown free right into a sobriety clinic. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Yeah, we we deal with sobriety and soft mattresses. Come
on in and they.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
Come, come, come into the come into the the greater
merced area. We've got We've got circus bounced tents and
rehab building awnings that are made of stretchy fabrics and
clown bounces.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
It's also a used dispensary.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
This actually came into play. There was like a in
my apartment building. There was a mental health incident, and
she had like barricaded herself in the upper porch of
my neighbors inside this courtyard.
Speaker 5 (40:59):
I'm to your window down. So I'm good.
Speaker 9 (41:03):
Yeah, I'm okay, all right, order and eat in front
of everything. That's fine, Hi, sir, it's just for me here.
Could I please have a number two? And says a
cheeseburger meal with the fries and eliminade. Oh that's it, okay,
(41:24):
thank you.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
So where was it? Oh? So she was. She was
strick her clothes off and she was threatening to jump
when the police came and stuff, and it was very loud,
crazy four am incident.
Speaker 6 (41:37):
She was like ringing people's doorbells, being like.
Speaker 4 (41:39):
Called up bullice and then the police came and they
were trying to get her to get her not to jump,
even though it's just one story up. You know, they're
trying to get her not to jump. It occurred to
me it's not the cartoons. They don't have trampolines that
they could put out under you to jump onto. My
whole life I figured that when someone was in danger,
(41:59):
they were like, oh, they bring out the little trampoline. No,
there's of course not no, or like a bed sheet
or something.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
I thought they did that.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
Still, no, I don't think they do anything like that,
and maybe never.
Speaker 5 (42:11):
Did, and maybe never did.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
But there was all do you guys remember the handheld
game from the eighties, and it was like one of
these It was called Firemen, Firemen and Babies Fell out
of a window a video game. It was a little
handheld video game, so it was very like Game Boy pixelated, Yeah,
but like it was almost like first generation sure, and
you were two firemen running back and forth with a
(42:35):
tramp with a little trampoline. So the babies were falling
out the window, and they remember you bounced.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
I do remember this.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
You have to bounce them into like the ambulance. It
was the most fun game of all time.
Speaker 6 (42:47):
And you would lose a baby here and there.
Speaker 5 (42:49):
Yes, and if you lost three year old?
Speaker 4 (42:51):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (42:52):
That game is what made us all think.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
That's what they did.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Only in that game that they went around with trampolines
and cartoons.
Speaker 6 (42:59):
Yeah, like a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah, I swear I've seen it. I think in other
countries if there's a fire or something, they'll be like,
we gotta do something.
Speaker 7 (43:09):
It is, But I think that's in Dumbo, right, bird,
I'm seeing the visuals.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
You are no longer an elephant.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Said the elephant Wizard.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
That's the mean. There's like three mean elephant women. They
won't let him be with them because his ears are
too big.
Speaker 5 (43:42):
I mean, we have to have standards.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Yeah, that's the one thing you learn about. There's Asian
elephants and African elephants, and it's all in the ears.
One elephant has tiny ears, the other one that's big.
Old floppers and I can't remember which is which, but
that's how they that's elephant racism, right.
Speaker 6 (44:01):
I think they usually get Indian elephants first.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
Well, they don't do that in circuses anymore, but when
I was a kid, I don't think they got the
giant African elephants right to be in circuses. Maybe that's
the one time they tried that was in San Diego
when it went crazy and they ended up shooting it
in the downtown San Diego. It's like, yeah, that's like
a famous that's the I thought everybody saw. It's like
(44:27):
on it's in like remember there's like videotapes that would
go around in the nineties of like unbelievable footage. Yeah,
it was always on those like collections.
Speaker 6 (44:37):
Yeah, the elephant went nuts.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
And killed his killed his trainer, ye, and then two
other people and the police had to put a stop
to his ramp. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
I interchange it with the guy who hijacked a tank,
a Sherman tank.
Speaker 6 (44:49):
Yes, that was also on the same thing.
Speaker 5 (44:52):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (44:52):
I don't know if it was Faces of Death or
something else that was dumb like that.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yes, Yeah, I think it was on faces. Why my
family and we all drove from Montana to San Diego
to vacation. We just want a piece of the action.
Elephants and tanks.
Speaker 6 (45:05):
Elephants and tanks they were both at San Diego incidents.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Yeah, let's let's get in a hot car and check
it out. Abused whales. It's getting the less saber.
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Now. The funniest thing that's gonna happen here is if
they're like, the card has been declined, sir, we got.
Speaker 5 (45:22):
Cards, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Yeah, all valid cards.
Speaker 4 (45:26):
How often do people say yeah, sure, oh, oh you're paying,
you're driving, Okay, got it, I've got it.
Speaker 6 (45:32):
Heed it out out and zakku.
Speaker 4 (45:35):
Why don't we stop by Michelli's.
Speaker 5 (45:39):
We'll go see some singing waiters.
Speaker 4 (45:42):
Oh you know what I like about Michelli's too. I
haven't been there a long time.
Speaker 5 (45:45):
Wallet.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Oh, indeed, this is.
Speaker 6 (45:48):
The Machelli's here?
Speaker 4 (45:48):
Is that the same? Is it the same? Is it
also Michelli's in Hollywood? It's the old Italian spot.
Speaker 5 (45:54):
M I think it's the green one. It's at the bottom.
Could you dig back in? Thank you? Thank you?
Speaker 11 (46:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (46:03):
Is that like a bib for me?
Speaker 5 (46:04):
I think so?
Speaker 6 (46:05):
Yeah, I get a bib from in and out.
Speaker 5 (46:09):
You'll need it.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Plastic gloves with little obscs on them.
Speaker 4 (46:16):
The last time I went to a restaurant like, there
was this I think it was in Oh it's a
Koreatown or near there with my friend seafood place, and
they brought out the friend.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Yes, all right, I'm that I shouldn't have the Virginia seafood.
Speaker 5 (46:31):
No.
Speaker 6 (46:31):
I love that family they brought.
Speaker 4 (46:35):
They brought out the plastic bibs and gloves and I
was like, I was like, come on, what is this for?
I'm who needs this? And then I didn't realize this.
They brought the food out and they just have it
in a bag that they just shake up.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
And it's just a bag, a loose bag of buttery.
Speaker 4 (46:52):
Do you remember Todd glasses joke? Thank you the rest
of the podcast. I'm just going to be eating this.
Do you remember that old Todd Glass joke he used
to do where he would be like you you can
hear a go in front of you and you know
he's heavy where he's like he was he was like
I was behind this guy in close school. Like everything
they asked him, he kept saying, shure shore with a shoe.
Speaker 5 (47:18):
Sure, he's so funny.
Speaker 4 (47:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I always think of last time I saw him. I
was like, can you please do this joke of yours
that I like? And he did it and it did
not go well and it was my Yeah. Yeah, it's
it's like someone goes after him and says, I'm sorry,
but does my breath smell like tacos and breathe this
on him? And then he says, well, that depends do
(47:43):
you put cat shit in your tacos? I always thought
it was so funny, and it like didn't it wasn't.
It was too late, it was years later.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (47:52):
What.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Yeah, people don't want to hear about catch yeah even now.
See I'm the very and I did did not work.
Speaker 4 (48:02):
It's great radio, right, Oh yeah we do.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Yeah, people love it the time.
Speaker 4 (48:07):
We ate.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
It doesn't donuts rave reviews.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
You know what we'll do is you eat and we'll
ask you a series of questions where the only answer
can be sure.
Speaker 4 (48:19):
I want to tell you this Todd Glass joke that
is out he has now and I'm just gonna spoil
one of his jokes.
Speaker 12 (48:24):
I hope it's okay, but take your time and chew
your food. You can't have another choking incident and it
becomes a Lancaster burial episode. Tid Glass, he goes, I
have a cat. There was a wild cat and he
came into my house. And now you know, I've had
cats before. I like him and it's been a while
and I had his cat come in and I fed him.
(48:46):
I give him, I give him water, I give him milk,
I give him a little food and he comes around.
And he's an outdoor cat, so he just comes in
with me and I pet him and he can. He
sleeps there and I pet him and I.
Speaker 4 (48:57):
Chunk him and he's the cutest and he sits on me.
And then at night, you know, he's an outdoor cat,
he goes back, you know, outside and goes wherever he goes.
And then I started getting jealous of him. I started wondering.
I'm like, where are you going? And now you're I
mean you're going from like nine pm to nine am.
You're going for like twelve hours. Where are you going?
I mean not that you can't do what you want,
(49:18):
but like are you going to other people's houses?
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Going?
Speaker 4 (49:21):
And he's like, are you just staying on the front
porch or you're also going and sitting in their bed,
jealous of the cat like a love I love it.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
Okay, now, dude, he happens on jokes.
Speaker 6 (49:35):
Okay, yeah, I don't eat meat. You go to add
and out Burger.
Speaker 4 (49:42):
The corporations want you to eat meat. You're driving up
in Sherman Oaks, all these people, you drive up into
the hills, you get.
Speaker 6 (49:54):
Your rent and out and you.
Speaker 4 (49:55):
Eat it in shame in the hills and nobody can
fucking say you. You're balled at Ae.
Speaker 6 (50:09):
When he used to heckle himself.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah, that's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
I like when he just screams Marie. It just makes
me laugh so hard, like my life is somewhere in
the audience.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
Why, oh, they're so happy to see us. Of course,
we do a three point turn. There's a dog. They're
all having a picnic. It's a whole family at a table.
Speaker 5 (50:27):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (50:29):
And by the way, people don't know this.
Speaker 6 (50:30):
Your car is a raid with electromagnetic devices.
Speaker 4 (50:35):
Cameras.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
We're working for Google Maps as we do the podcast.
Speaker 4 (50:39):
Yeah, it's got one of those little bells that spins
around and gets the video and electromagnetic information of everything
it passes.
Speaker 11 (50:48):
Here.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna keep chilling. Yeah, we we
have to pick up intergalactic villain. Wait, what voice do
you do on some cartoon that sounds like Bane A little?
Speaker 4 (51:02):
I played Baane on Harley Quinn.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Is it Bane?
Speaker 4 (51:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Oh so the of course you did the band voice.
Speaker 6 (51:08):
I do the ban voice from the Tom Hardy movie.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Oh that's great.
Speaker 4 (51:12):
When I auditioned for it, I auditioned for all these
parts and then reading for Bane, and I was like, uh,
want me just do the Tom Hardy one And they
were like, yeah, so that's how I've always done it.
Where it's like law were the recording of this credit card.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
It's everything I've seen though, is like casual, like walking
into a room, and I like casual Bane. It's like
what are these receipts?
Speaker 4 (51:37):
That's tell they write it and I love it so
much where he is low status among the villains and
like put upon and insulted and stuff. I love that.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Oh that's the best.
Speaker 4 (51:48):
I don't know if I've told you guys this could
be a repeat. But the worst idea that was proposed
to me that I ever heard it was like we
want to hire you for this. It was Southwest Airlines
that was like, we want to hire. Am I think
I saw this. I think I this came to me
(52:09):
twice over the course of several years, So that means
it must be some executive's dumb idea that they kept pushing, right,
But like they wanted a comedian to fly with an
airplane on its several stops throughout the day in and
and stand up, oh god, and do comedy in the
aisles on the south of course Southwest, And I was like,
(52:32):
do you want me to get like violently sucked out
of an airplane like a gold finger is she's taking
pictures because she's substicious.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
It's the ultimate version of a bamboo cane pulling you
off stage. Okay, that's your time sucked out the ten
years ago the Southwest, like flight attendants had jokes they yeah,
over and over. I was like, wait, do they do
stand up? They encouraged them to have material to keep
it light and fun, but it was all jokes about
(53:04):
the dangers of flying. Yeah. It was like, wait, that's inappropriate.
Speaker 5 (53:08):
I mean it was like it started with they could
rift during the safety features.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Yeah, that whole speech, and then it was like people
adding to it or the highs and buys or it's like,
we're about to land in Burbank, the most boring city.
Speaker 5 (53:21):
And whatever where you're just like, okay, you say that,
can we just fucking can we just get this done?
Speaker 6 (53:26):
We about thirty minutes to we land in Burbank, the
headquarters of where you would live if you were a
Republican who somehow works in the industry.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
This flight attendants edgy I remember the closer of one
of them. They had some joke about if and what
are the chances we're going to land in the water anyway?
Speaker 4 (53:43):
But if we do, Like, yeah, I would love it
if there was one. If they were like, you know,
before he came along, the flight attendant comedians would play
by the rules. And then there's this one Bill Hicks,
George Carlin type guy comes along and he's smoking and
they're like you can't. He's like, well, I'm on stage.
And he's like, well, well, because he was performing, you
(54:05):
actually could smoke. Yeah, And he's like, you fucking first
class assholes. You you think you're so safe when this
plane goes down, you go down first.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
They give him his jacket's four thousand dollars, the exact
fine for smoking on an.
Speaker 6 (54:25):
Airplane, right he broke even.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah, oh shit, it's hard.
Speaker 4 (54:29):
He broke even in all his fancy It was unfair.
Speaker 5 (54:32):
Do you do you have anything else to plug or eat?
Speaker 6 (54:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (54:38):
Well, it's funny you mentioned I brought a little grid old. Actually,
do you guys have another ride after this? No?
Speaker 5 (54:46):
What we did one before?
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (54:47):
Yeah, so we get you get exhausted and you hate
driving more than two in a row or how does
it work?
Speaker 1 (54:52):
It's hard to do more than two.
Speaker 5 (54:54):
It's hot.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
So that's my thing is just after a while, you're
just kind of like, like we got coffees because it's like,
after a.
Speaker 13 (55:01):
While, you're just like, yeah, I can't explain it. I
love I couldn't love you more. I wish we socialized more,
but I got to stop. Pug is my brain, right,
it's almost every guest we have.
Speaker 6 (55:15):
It's it's hard.
Speaker 4 (55:16):
It's hard.
Speaker 6 (55:17):
I remember I had to stop doing my podcast because
it was a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
It's so much work.
Speaker 6 (55:21):
It was a lot of work and I loved it,
but it was the least amount of.
Speaker 4 (55:24):
Money that I made in my life.
Speaker 1 (55:26):
Yeah, was.
Speaker 4 (55:29):
The under culture. That's the one I did.
Speaker 1 (55:32):
Oh okay, sharplying.
Speaker 4 (55:33):
I do love. I just saw him recently.
Speaker 6 (55:35):
You're just on his a lot.
Speaker 1 (55:38):
My phone gives hey, this person's your friend. It keeps
it a real tight knit.
Speaker 6 (55:43):
For the algorithm.
Speaker 4 (55:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (55:44):
Yeah, they were like, we've learned Fairbanks likes people.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
It's a handful of them.
Speaker 6 (55:50):
Gariff, we've learned hates people.
Speaker 5 (55:52):
Doesn't really like them.
Speaker 4 (55:53):
Let's keep well, let's control them. But I have nothing
else to plug. I have nothing else. My mono obsession
in life right now is Path of Most Resistance. Yes,
available with eight hundred pound Gorilla available streaming on YouTube.
You could pay what you want on an eight hundred
(56:14):
pund gorilla. You can stream it for free on YouTube.
You can buy or rent it on any service where
you would do that.
Speaker 5 (56:19):
Please pay for it, listener, because you need to know.
And I'm sure we've said this before.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
James Domian is one of the best stand up comedians
that has ever lived. If you've ever seen him live,
it is a life changing experience every time. And I
have seen him do comedy a lot, and so I'm
not saying that lightly. I'm telling you you can get
an album of joy.
Speaker 4 (56:42):
He's a lot coming from Caring cood.
Speaker 5 (56:44):
Hey for your album of joy and watch it change
your life, and I.
Speaker 1 (56:49):
Would say the exact same thing. How's it feel coming
from me?
Speaker 5 (56:54):
Kick your favorite.
Speaker 4 (56:57):
Here?
Speaker 1 (56:58):
It's the blindfold?
Speaker 4 (56:59):
You just point, thank you. Yes, I'm happy to do it.
I'm so happy it's finally out. And yeah, Also, no
one died from the album from the Special because I
taped to a year ago and I wanted to release.
Speaker 6 (57:12):
It earlier, and it got delayed and delayed and delayed
for people.
Speaker 4 (57:15):
Like well, let's wait a let's strategically, and it ended
up coming out a year after I taped it, which
was much longer than I wanted to wait, and so
I was I was biting my fingernails all year, like, yeah,
David Attenborough is gonna die, right.
Speaker 6 (57:29):
Alex Jones is going to die. Tom Sell's gonna die.
Speaker 1 (57:33):
They're all alive. Do you do it, Tom Selleck, he's
in there.
Speaker 4 (57:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (57:39):
Let me tell you about these reverse mortgage chats. People
say it's somehow unethical to reverse orgag.
Speaker 1 (57:48):
Now do the do magnum p I Tom selling.
Speaker 4 (57:51):
That's see, that's not again. People get funny when they
crossed the age of sixty, especially men. That's when they
become like.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
Care It's funny because I watched I like Magnum p
I so much, And my only impression of him when
I was a kid was Higgins the dogs are near
the Ferrari Like. He always seemed like he is whining,
and I was like, why is he always whining about
these Doberman.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Because he could get away with it because he was
hot shit and like three inch in seam shorts.
Speaker 5 (58:20):
Yes, it was the closest.
Speaker 4 (58:22):
Usually used to masturbate to be back in nineteen eighty eight.
That's so it's my turn to cash in.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
He had just high high thigh corduroy short, four inch
in seams short.
Speaker 6 (58:34):
Harry giving Harry in short short.
Speaker 1 (58:37):
Yeah, like a shaved horse. But the hair is starting
to grow back vein earth thirty two inch thighs.
Speaker 6 (58:48):
No, No, Oddly the talk is.
Speaker 5 (58:50):
Going down the leg, onto the lawn, over to the job.
Speaker 4 (58:54):
There's like a union set designer. It's like we actually
had to coil it around. Yeah, don't worry for Osha
it was safety. Yeah, it was safety for other actors.
Speaker 1 (59:05):
I used to do this with Huey Lewis all the time.
I just have to wrap it around his waist like
a bundle. A big deal. I'm going to reveal w
this is at the end of the Here's what I
wrote down. I was going to sign things and I
just want to share them with you. A wizard frustrated
with an airline sporting process that we already kind of did.
And then uh, I wanted to Lewis Black rating a
(59:28):
teenage girl's diary. Just watch that video.
Speaker 6 (59:31):
Oh yes, that's from that's from like a decade ago.
Speaker 4 (59:34):
I found it and put it out again. I was
going to have you.
Speaker 10 (59:36):
Today is the very very very best day of Look
that's because Sean winked at me and blooms.
Speaker 4 (59:48):
No, no, I'll say that a good. The next week
is the big dance, and I know that means we'll
be in love for.
Speaker 1 (59:58):
I love it so much. And then I was gonna
have you wells and Vincent Price arguing I was like
making a two bigs too complicated, But I just wanted
to share that I almost made you.
Speaker 4 (01:00:10):
You are in the hills of Sherman Oaks. Oh surely
you don't mean Sherman Oaks. The Sherman Oaks is twelve
miles to the south, my friend. This is Studio City. No, no,
you can't possibly mean Studio City. My dear boy, I
mean where where where do they leave you off? And
where the minions overlook from the castle on top of
(01:00:33):
the hill. No, I'm sorry, if if this is, if
this is studio city, I'll go down on your asshole. Well,
it wouldn't be the first time someone has delighted me
from it. From the rear of the pocket, you see,
Oh go on, you so and so you're a damn
(01:00:55):
fool Vincent whatever happens in Sherman Oaks stays.
Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Thank you for indulging me.
Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
I love you, James, I love you.
Speaker 4 (01:01:07):
Thank you. Guys. I know it's you're exhausted, so go rest.
Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
No, I we were. We've been excited about you for weeks.
Speaker 6 (01:01:14):
Do you get in a when you go home and
you get in a pod with a bed that's like very.
Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
Similar to this, and Elon Musk is laying on the
other side of the bed. I'm like, they talked about
you the whole.
Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
Podcast, but you have an ai Elon who is there?
I'm doing this like programmed for you. I have. I
hope you like my sagging man.
Speaker 5 (01:01:39):
Booth, strange barrel chest. It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 6 (01:01:42):
I'm shaped like a guy who has a winery it's I'm.
Speaker 5 (01:01:47):
Aero dynamically incorrect.
Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
There we go. We should like to lay on my lumps,
the origin of which there is no explanation.
Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
My lumps, my lovely teslas.
Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
You've been listening to Do you Need a Ride? With
the Great James and Doomian d y n a R.
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Mixed by Edson Chroi.
Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.
Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Theme song by Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at dinar
podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
Thank you, Oh You're welcome
Listen up, dine our sores. We have exciting news.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Promo codes and links from all of our advertisers are
now online and exactly wrightmedia dot com slash promos. Scroll
until you see do you need to Ride and then
you can find all our.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Latest deals Again.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Support the show and save some cash by using our
promo codes and links What's not to love?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You'll find them at exactly rightmedia dot com slash promos.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Happy shopping, thank you, Oh you're welcome? I leaving? I
you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Either way we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
much baggage you claim and give us time and a
terminal engage.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
We want to send you off install.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Tell us all about it.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
We scared or was it fine? Now porn? Do you
(01:17):
need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you
need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Do you need.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
With Karen and Chris welcome to do you need to ride?
This is Chris Fairman.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
This is Karen til Garriff.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
We are immediately picking up our guests. You know our
guest today from clubs and colleges across the country has
been hitting the road circuit, real hard road circuit. Put
your ears together for James Agomian, Thank you, Hello friend.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Hello friend.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yes when you texted Chris and I, I don't have
your phone number for some reason, and it scared me
so badly. It was like hey guys, or I'm like nope,
don't answer that. And then I finally texted Chris. I
was like, who was that.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
He's like, it's Jason DOOMI oh right, because I was like, oh, yeah,
I could have asked real time.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
I'm hoping that I had a very like strange message
where it's like hello, I've been waiting.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Hello, my skin is soft as yours.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
Yeah, it's dare you meet me again? So soon after
our last crossing.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I'm getting texted by that bridge troll again.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
How are you?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I'm good. I'm glad this has worked out me too.
I was in I did some miscalculations of something.
Speaker 6 (02:57):
I love how the people look on the Testla. I've
never seen the people the map before.
Speaker 7 (03:01):
Yeah, I've always seen the cars that they have.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
And this is an updated version because now it's got people.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And it showed her fall down and then she disappeared.
There was a person laying down for a brief second.
That was amazing.
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Could you let me.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Thank you?
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Yes, there's a major important new Tesla Tesla components we
have animations of there's basically five kinds of people that
we've spent billions of dollars animating all the potential human targets.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
When I looked, it didn't seem like it was showing
the children, and I'm like, that's very Tesla to be like.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
We don't see the children at this point.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
We like most human minds, we assume that the children
may or may not be there. They're like a schro
dinner's child. And it is not until the Tesla hits
the object that it is revealed, whether it was a child, older,
simply fire hydrant or something.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, elon, do you have any kids yourself?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I have more kids than I'm able to count. I've
lost some of them to the woke mind virus. I
have children. I have multiple children from somehow. I have
more mothers of my children than the children themselves. Oh wow,
And yes, there's there's like I believe actually that people
(04:28):
should including gay people. This is something I said recently,
is that I don't have a problem with gays except
that they don't have enough babies.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Right, that's that's kind of obviously.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
This is something that most people like agree with me.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I think twelve children, yeah yeah
yeah wow x.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Yes, the it is the town hall that we'll have.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
It's human there for you.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
It's great, it's going great. We've gotten rid of all that.
We've gotten rid of so many of the fake accounts. Yeah, really, yes,
we've cleaned it up a lot, a lot of fake
accounts that we're posing as verified celebrities, right, and we've
replaced them with actual verified accounts, which are obviously people
that tend to be of agreement on the issues of
the day.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah, people outside of cities.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Yes, and a lot of them. A lot of our
verified people are you know, you might say, oh, they
come from the same IP address in Poland, but like
that's the way the democracy should work, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
True, yeah, yeah, style, that's just because that's where the
server is, right.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Well obviously, yes, yeah, I mean you're you're obviously someone
that I would probably elevate your way of thinking on
a truly democratic platform. When I say that, I mean
obviously not a Democratic Party, like something more tray cool
than that, which is like elevating the voices of thought leaders.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Do you show up to work?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Are you at the office.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
I sleep in the office a ship and a cart
on top of a SpaceX rocket. I have little tunnels
that I build for myself, and I just kind of
I don't get the ferments to build them outside of
my different campuses from various communist municipalities. But I am
able to take my little, my little tubes underground from
(06:24):
one side of the SpaceX campus to the other.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
That's probably a good thing about moving to a Texas
There's no building codes at all.
Speaker 8 (06:33):
Right, It's a great place, great place for like free speech,
you know, free speech where and obviously when you talk
about free speech, when someone says I believe in free speech,
you know exactly what they believe in.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
Yes, and I'm when you say i'm I'm a freethinker.
That means that you believe a certain set of beliefs.
We all know that. But they are the correct ones.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yeah, yeah, free thinking has its constraints.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
You know. When you see someone and I love these people,
these are the ones that I think of as like
great minds. You see that they say, oh, I believe
in free speech, freethinker not into your pronouns. You know
that that person is like definitely they're going to have
like some Marcus Aurelius quote in their profile.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Next, and also like a marble statue will be their
profile picture.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Sure maybe some What are those sunglasses that are so
identifying with a free, free thinking mind?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Well, yeah, like so cool.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I mean, I know you're talking about Oakley wrap arounds
and I have some blades myself, but the lenses just
work so well, I know, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
I mean, well, I think for those of us that
have our third eye open, we need to have the
kind of like obviously like shade from the sun from
that third eye, and it could be.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
The polarized lens.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Right, Yeah, yes, I think I'm trying to solve our
polarized politics and also at the same time switch people
into polarized lenses. We've got another guy walking by, and
if you can see on the sidewalk, he perfectly matches
this animation of a generic human figure.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
He was Truman's Show style sent down the sidewalk to
be registered on this car.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, it's funny, you know, when they don't.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
You're in a hyper loop.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Actually, this is all simulation, all of it.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Because when we cracked the idea that the Earth is
a simulation, we said, why don't we just do it ourselves,
become gods. That's one of the things we're working on.
When he picked me up as soon as we got in.
What we're seeing is we're in a hyper loop that
can't go very far because it's only permitted underneath the
SpaceX campus here, right, And so this is all being
generated to you at the same rate that you're pressing
(08:49):
the gas pedal or i should say the electronic pedal.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Oh wow, in real time. That's amazing. It's weird how
that guy's Fedora was just a question mark. It wouldn't
acknowledge that at a Fedora.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Well. Also, and you you know, we've tried to gamify
because there's horrible accidents that happens, and if you've notice
on the screen, it looks like kind of a low
five video game. So we have gamified certain elements of
it where if you do hit some guy to try
to discourage you from it, much like Sonic the Hedgehog,
you'll see on the animation that all of the rings
will pop out of him that he's.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
Been carrying with him.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
A big burst of rings will pop out onto the sidewalk,
letting you know that you've made a mistake by hitting him.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
It seems like though that would be encouraging.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Well, you can collect the rings, which is a way
of that that helps us to signal to the relevant authorities.
Speaker 6 (09:36):
And so there has been a casualty in the simulation.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
When you see the way, people might argue that you're
asking people that killed pedestrians.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
To power up yourself, or there are certain kinds of
limited low, low vibration people who would bring up that objection.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And what I would say, what I would say to
that low but usually I would ignore the slow vivation.
But I'm happy to take this r So what I
would tell, what I would tell them in every such
case is that, obviously, and this is something the great
minds already know. Life is only with us for a
(10:14):
certain of time.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And well, everyone knows we die. Is that what you mean?
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Everyone knows who die? But do they really know it?
Do they plan their lives around it? Because to me,
it's a great honor to die in service of some
kind of great sort of project. Whether it's the Great Pyramids,
the people who died building the Great Pyramids to me
put themselves in service of humanity. Just look how useful
this the ap pearments are as technology today we all
(10:41):
use them as landmarks and so forth. I think in
the same way, I think of myself as a latter
day pharaoh, and that those who would sacrifice their lives
to me are like some kind of you know, ancient
Egyptian work.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
That's interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, sure what you're but you're more of instead of
like from a line of you know, hard.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Workers, very hard working entrepreneurs.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
But you're the pharaohs.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
So aren't you the one that sits there and like
whips people and tells them what to do?
Speaker 4 (11:12):
I have to do that for me.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Okay, So people in your office very important, Just just
like just like, come on, made sure that there was no.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Organization of sort of like a unionization of any of
those workers as they were floating the blocks across the
lake to assemble itself into to be assembled into the
great model monuments to his you know, supreme mind. It's
(11:43):
just important. That's I'm just following his success.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Of course, how do you say?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
His name is obviously he was obviously the one I just.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
Forgot you actually from Canada. I read somewhere that's well, yes.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
There's I spent a large part from the childhoods in Canada,
and there was also a great amount of time spence
in South Africa with my family's from South Africa and Rhodesia,
which is the correct word.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
For they the diamond businesses.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
That's a great slur, a great slur, my family, it's
a great It's almost as painful of a racialized slur
as calling someone sis.
Speaker 6 (12:30):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
If you said that on Twitter, I would have had
you been right and then reinstated if you had enough
billionaires right that you should be or some guy named
like cat liver Box or whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Well, I know you took my check mark away, so
it probably had something to do that.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
But the answer is no, we were not in the
diamond business. Primarily, they were like incidental diamonds that we
found in our minds. But primarily we were in like
the business of rubies and emeralds.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
So that's fleets obviously different. No one's ever heard of
the emeralds.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Yes, we made great We took great pains to make
sure that the term blood emeralds never took off or
blood ruby, which you think would.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, were those pains that you took were they in
relation to actually protecting the people that worked.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
At those mines.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
It's very important that the people are protected long enough
to keep bringing them jewels out of the minds. And
we've extended this logic into all of the other there's
cobalts and so forth. There's going to power in the
Tesla's Wow, it's really really really like really really cool stuff,
like really tray cool, like Hollywood level, Like I.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Can't have you saying tray cool that much. I need
you get out of it.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
It's like hyperlooping cool.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
What is what's tray cool?
Speaker 4 (13:47):
When we start, well, it's you know, it's just like,
well to answer questions. The other question was if I
was Canadian, and that's true. I'm most of South African,
so a mix of both, so THATX sence is a
little strange for most people because I've lived in America
so long, in Canada before that South Africa for that.
And I'm also like a strange scientist, so I speak
(14:10):
in the way that so like a doctor would write
a memo, oh dropping like lost of words here there yeah,
and you can think of it as basically like a
people say super villain, but I think of like, you know,
like the color the color character of a James Bond movie,
the interesting sort of wizard character of a James Bond's movie,
(14:31):
the useful antagonist that I believe we should rewrite those
Bond movies so that they are the ones that become
listened to.
Speaker 5 (14:38):
So Goldfinger would really be driving.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Goldfinger wishes he did what I did. Goldfinger was only
able to destroy I'm a builder, so yes, Canadian and
South Africa, so I'm evil, but I very plied about.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
It, yes, and kind of soft spoken, which is surprising
to me.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Very also kind of like boring to do for too long. Yeah,
sort of comedic sense. So I'm also shielded from that
where you would think I'd be mocked much more often.
But there's a an essential sort of but there's shut
most of those people down. You'll notice that they never
become famous. There's something that's that's I believe protective, like
(15:24):
a protective shielding coaching about having a very boring sort
of like just like everything is like obvious and I've
already thought of it, and never raising your voice of course.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah, yeah, it's you would think.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
This is the way things will be on Mars.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah. Yeah, it's supposed to bring me calm, but somehow
it makes me nervous. Your stop is right here. We
have to pick up Lewis Black. It's going to talk
about read from a teenager's diary.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
It's you're exiting the hyper here.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, we're just gonna sab.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
So you'll notice that the sun is going to become
an impossibly horrific color for just two seconds. This happens
whenever anyone enters and exits. There's a visual shock, especially
to the driver.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Damn, we missed your stop.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
By Tesla.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
He departiclized and then reassembled. Yeah. Hey hey here, Yeah,
it's great to see you.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
So good to see you.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, I'm glad we made room for you. Sorry about
that other guy.
Speaker 6 (16:47):
I know you got a tight schedule. I know you
were doubling up rides like yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
Yeah, we're doing kind of like the uber pool, and I.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Was running along on the running board of the car,
like it's very interesting. You have this modern car, but
you have a running board on the side like an
old like an old Rolls Royce or something.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Yeah, it's kind of like, uh.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
Like a footman. I was standing on the.
Speaker 5 (17:05):
Side bank rubber from the thirties.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
You could you could stand on the side either to
help someone out in their carriage house, yeah, or also
if you had a Tommy gun, you just be on
the side of the car.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Mind the puddle me lady, Yeah, she let me throw
down my jacket.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Yeah, make way you know, I was loving I was
I was talking with somebody about this. How I love
some of the language of the Three Stooges era. This
is this is particular love where there was like, hey,
smarten up, why don't you? Yeah, would you.
Speaker 6 (17:37):
Just tell someone to get smarter?
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Yes? Smartting up there?
Speaker 5 (17:41):
I love.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I think make Way would be an incredible name for
a comedy album, make.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Way make Way, now that I think of it.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Clear Out. What is your new special called The Path
Path of Most Resistance? Yeah? I like that.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
I like that.
Speaker 6 (17:55):
Out Now is it?
Speaker 1 (17:57):
It's out.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
It's on eight hundred pound Gorilla Media and and uh
it's a as of September nineteenth. It's it's everywhere. It's
streaming on YouTube. It's available for rent for purchase, for
for for rent and purchase. You could do both.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
You.
Speaker 6 (18:14):
You can rent to own.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Oh, you can lease until it's yours.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
You could lease it till it's yours. Pass available.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Now what's your favorite part? Do you want to re
enact it?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (18:25):
Oh god, yes, this will be this is.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah like morning radio. I'll cue you in a very
unleashed way.
Speaker 6 (18:32):
The podcast killed the radio zoo. Okay, so what are
people liking about it?
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Okay? I do this act out of this this true
idea of the trillion dollar coin, which is a real
political idea, and it's so I'm like, I love this
idea where Congress would pass the law and I'm not
making it up.
Speaker 6 (18:58):
It's like a real idea in the newspaper.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
And Congress would pass the law requiring the US meant
to create a one trillion dollar platinum coin, and then
the Federal Reserve Bank, by the same law, would be
required to purchase it for one trillion US dollars, and
then that money would be used to pay down the
national debt or something more useful than a fictional debt
to no one.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Because even when I was in high school, I asked
the dumb cooin, everyone laughed at me. I'm like, if
we're in debt, as a country, why can't we just,
without telling the rest of the world, print more money
and pay it off.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
That's what we're slowly doing.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
We're doing it.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Oh the chicken should do it so slowly that no
one objects.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Oh my god. In sixth grade, I thought of that.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
You're a visionary.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, I should have been running shit.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
So wait, so the bit is about the.
Speaker 6 (19:43):
Trillion dollar yes, So then I guess that's the setup.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
And then I say, you know, like, my one note is,
you cannot have a regular ass coin size coin. It
cannot be like a silver dollar sized piece of bullshit.
If you're gonna give me a trillion dollar coin, it
has to be scaled up in diameter and in circumference,
and it has to be most importantly hefty and unwieldy,
too difficult to carry for the two idiot workmen, the
(20:09):
Laurel and Hardy type stooges that are hired to carry
it across the street from the Federal Reserve thing go
to the Federal Reserve Bank from the US men, And
so that I pretend that I'm carrying a big, heavy
platinum coin and I'm like watching it, moron. It a trillion.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Dollars that kind of guy.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
You know.
Speaker 6 (20:26):
Here, you see boy, it's how much is a trillion
dollars a head work? It's a million million moren No
is that a million million or a million million?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
It's the same thing. And then they drop they drop
it and it rolls into the Potomac River, a.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Trillion dollar coin right in the river. Well, boss, I guess,
uh make a week.
Speaker 9 (20:52):
You don't make a wish shut a trillion dollar coin,
you mackerel.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Oh God, the language. That's what I love about the
Three Stooges is every episode they had a different job, Like.
Speaker 6 (21:06):
They keep getting high.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, and they suck up. They were piano movers. I've
seen them be Civil War aradentists. I've seen them just
doing light construction and they never finished a job. Yet
they got all this freelance referrals to do unrelated gig.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Yes, they no one went to the trouble of pulling
down the recommendation posts, right.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, the Three Stooges are pre yelp. But that's the
benefit of like going from hey we bake fancy cakes
one star.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
These guys took the wooden fish off my wall and
started sawing into it, trying to eat it.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
Do you know how much I paid for that swordfish?
Speaker 6 (21:53):
They were hired.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
They were hired to simply change a toilet and they
ripped the plumbing pipes.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Out of party, they started fighting, and not traditional fighting,
mostly I poking, and then.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
They slept an old fat lady.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, there was a lot of violence that really, we
got custard on my husband's Well, are they available for
uh plumbing?
Speaker 10 (22:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (22:21):
Yeah, well I gotta work cheap.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
They used to play those It was three Stooges and
Laurel and Hardy at the pizza place that we would
go to and it would be like kids loving it
and it would stress me out. So I'm like, why
are they fighting this much? Are they brothers? What is
wrong with these people?
Speaker 6 (22:40):
Like, well, the stoes, you didn't know why they were
It was.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Like you disagree so much and like settle this ship quiet,
you get the job done.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
Like it was like so frustrating to me.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Never finished a job. No, they're just the work spot
with blood everywhere.
Speaker 6 (22:59):
Yeah, slap you were just allowed to slap people back.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Yes, really and children?
Speaker 6 (23:05):
Yeah, And it was just that was like the thought.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Now to us, it's kind of horrific where you're like, well,
you have to warn the kids, don't do this, don't
do this, don't do this.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
But watch how funny it is.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Yeah, But back then it was like, well, it's a
relief because in real life we're hitting each other so much.
Let's go see some some movie where they show how
it's not so bad. Yeah, you see their dad's not
the only one hitting people.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Yeah, we slap each other with the depression doesn't hurt
as bad.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah, and it's a great depressions it was. Yeah, it's
only funny to the men in the room of a
certain age, right, there's never My mom hated.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
It really, Yeah, I loved it, did she? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (23:47):
What was your mom like, James?
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Yeah, well, my mom came from a family of her
and her sisters were very funny, and so they would
all they would do the three Stoogest voices.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Yeah, yeah, they would do all that stuff.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
I guess I liked the voices. I guess I did
like that part.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I really watched The Stooges for the for the ideas ideas.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Is it mo that has longing and lost like the
parted black hair, he's scared? I thought, here's the scariest
looking dude. Ever, Yeah, he's horrified.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
He had old face, young hair, which no one likes.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Yeah, you didn't see that hair again until the Beatles.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, if you Beatles have stoops.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
They brought it together and everyone's like screaming because they're like,
finally the three Stooges makes sense.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
His face. You ever look at like a football team,
like a team photo from the thirties, and they're all
like eighteen years old, but they all look like moons. Yeah,
they're all just looked like they woke up in a
blanket again, Like.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
I had a high school sweetheart and I buried the last.
Speaker 5 (24:49):
My dad broke my nose when I was seven years old.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I guess that makes sense if the everyone died at
age forty five, of course you're gonna be.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I got a diet of dirt and potatoes. I take
a bath once awake on Sunday.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
It's a bath and an old metal tub, and all.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
The neighbors can watch me and come over.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Yeah, what are you looking at? Season there's several nineteen
forties things in my special. I realized, oh, there's that bit,
and then I have a bit about Castle Blanca, and
I have a bit about the Wizard of Oz and
I'm like, in hindsight, I'm like, I'm like, oh, there's the.
Speaker 6 (25:23):
Whole thing about how I look.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
I look like I look like the ninth hottest movie
star of nineteen forty nine. Oh where that did not
have to be attractive to be a famous male actor.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
And what's he sounds like.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
He's like, oh, darling, I've got my bathing suit up
above my well, above my belly. Buddy. Of course, I've
been swimming and smoking at the same time all day.
Now it's time for a cocktail. It's three pm.
Speaker 6 (25:45):
Wouldn't you say, yeah, yeah, all, yeah, of course I'm overweight.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
I'm I'm a leading man, heart throb. Of course I
have a bit of a.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
Yeah, of course I look like the father of the
people who came to watch this movie. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
It's funny to hear my dad describe like Clark Gable
and oh we have was seven feet tall and handsome,
And then you watch these movies and it's just a yeah, guy,
a cigarettes for breakfast.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
There's one like the first I think the first big
Clark Gable movie is it happened one night?
Speaker 5 (26:20):
That sounds like it would be right, that's.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
The one where he he looks kind of young. Yeah,
and then after that it's just he ages five years
every movie.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's like a year for every one hundred bottles of
gin that you drank.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
Drunk right now, I mean, should we have a drink?
Speaker 4 (26:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Rhetorical, I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna be on
or off camera sober.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
So Yeah. The special is an examination of my failure
to account for myself being in this place and time.
M So, there's lots of throw throwbacks to another classic
movies Days, among other things.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
I love it when you did it. Where did you
record it?
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Uh, it's I did it at the Allegion, Oh, the
Allegiant Theater.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
You keep it local.
Speaker 6 (27:10):
I did it local. I did the Allsion.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
There's there's a there's a sweat problem in the special, sure,
because it's the first one I filmed. I've only done
shorter sets before film, so this was the first time
I filmed an hour.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Did you have a more than one layer of clothing on? Yes?
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Because I mean this is this was an internal argument.
I had something I wanted to wear and was like, James,
you gotta put a classy button shirt over it. And
I'm like, well, that's gonna make me hot. And then
I should have had a black T shirt, but I
just had a dark gray one, so it was not
dark enough. There was the whole thing. Uh, I hate
(27:50):
that sign. I just the billboard. I just signed this.
It's a right wing political billboard. Great, we're in a
people who live on koang are weird, so we're in
the Konga past. There's nothing about coyotes and weird people
up here. So we say a right wing politically.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Oh yeah, let's not turn left. Yeah, let's stay on
the road.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Well we've made rendered it impossible to turn left.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Don't have that ability to right.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Turns only available in this So did you, of.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
Course start riffing on the fact that you that was
a problem.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Well, there was a crisis between the two tapings, and
they were like, and it's it's your own used.
Speaker 6 (28:30):
It doesn't matter how funny it is. It looks unusable. Yeah,
And there's this.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Hole back and forth about what to do, and I
was like, there's too many cooks in the kitchen. And
finally I was like, okay, I'm not going to change
the wardrobe just in case we can cut back and
forth somewhere. Let it get wet at the same time
that it did in the first show. Try it out,
let it get wet again. It's got and it did.
It's gonna happen exactly the same time, and so it's
(28:56):
like it's the sweat is like a clockwork thing and
makes so many pints per hour.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, you were doing the jokes in the same order
on each show, right.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
Pretty much, so it'll work so that But the second
time I just addressed it in the room when it
was right, and we ended up only using the second show.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
Because it's a fog machine that was weight.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
There was like twice as much fog in the first taping,
and then it would just look like a different place.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
I'm going to set a meeting with the eight hundred
pound grilla.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
They were good.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
It wasn't them.
Speaker 6 (29:27):
They were great. They were really great, and I have
no complaints.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
But the second show, the machine for that's hilarious.
Speaker 6 (29:32):
I don't know, just to give it like a.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
It's funny ground. The one time I headlined the improv,
they're like, do you want anything, and some for some reason,
I said, how about a fog machine?
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
And then I was just distracted by the fact that
I had a remote and I had control over it
and so my stage. Yeah, so everything became a magic
trick instead of a joke.
Speaker 6 (29:53):
So that's why they've banned fog machines.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
It's fun. Yeah I started the band. Uh, but I'm
they don't care about those rules. At the Illegion. That's
so great. I'm glad you had a fog mare.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
So yeah. Then I was like addressing it every like
fifteen minutes. I'm going like, wow, here it is, folks.
I look at a pig that crawled out of the ocean.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
That's so great.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
As if you addressed that something went wrong, yeah, and
it's as if it went right.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
I always wont I escape with these guys every morning
and we're all the same age and it's before noon,
but you still go for it. Oh, I four times
a week. I'm filming a video part for escape video
and he's really pushing me.
Speaker 6 (30:37):
And bombing out.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I can't. I can't. The fifteen year old version of
me won't let me be bad. So I'm very sore,
but I sweat more than anyone else, And to where
I'm like, does this mean I'm healthy or is it
a health issue?
Speaker 4 (30:52):
I sweat so much that if I had thought about it,
it would have been an argument for like, you shouldn't
get into comedy, right right, I sweat so much that
someone should have intervened and been like, whatever you do,
don't get on stage.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I disagree, Yeah I do.
Speaker 5 (31:09):
I disagree.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
I mean, it's February, then it is not a problem.
But I taped this a year ago in September twenty
twenty three, and like it's still hot in September.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
I remember we both did a show at the r Bar.
It was like, you know where you have to have
a secret code to get in, even as one of
the performers. That's always how you make for a good audience.
Make it hard to get in. But they you and
I both were I know you to be a sweater
like me. We were the sweaty ones. And and you
(31:45):
did that bit about the the boarding process. That's I mean,
I'm not going to make you do beds that airlines
when you bids.
Speaker 7 (31:55):
Yeah, do it as a special.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
It's on the special, and the wizard thing.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
Is on this.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
How about a wizard complaining about the boarding process.
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Just give us like a little buffer.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
That's almost literally you just basically sewed together two bits
that I should have in a callback, and why I
am a member of the Platinum Chalice Loyalty program.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
I love that.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
And it's the Platinum Chalice stuck aside your dog.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Order I forgot, I'm switching him up. Yeah there. The
canonical version is on the film Special Folks.
Speaker 6 (32:40):
For the Purest I should I love this part. When
does this come out?
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Oh right, the thirtieth September thirtieth yet oh so today
today is yeah? Great?
Speaker 6 (32:50):
How convenient it was going to come out in a
further time in the future.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
This is live to tape like old Jimmy Kimmel, and
we deal with it.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
Yeah, James, do you want to go to like the
In and Out Drive?
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
You're hungry?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Sure, and it takes a long time to eat up
a bunch of stuff there, right, we got we got
time to burn.
Speaker 5 (33:11):
Absolutely sure.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
We can pull over and do a little, uh you know,
mouth fully work.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
I love the I love the in and out reference
in The Big Olebowski when they're like he lures them
into this trip to the valley to intimidate the kid Larry,
and he's like, stop by the in and out.
Speaker 11 (33:34):
We get some burgers, get some beers, and then everything
goes wrong, but they do get their in and out
at the end, even though the windshields smash.
Speaker 6 (33:45):
That movie is so fun. I love it so Yeah.
Nothing nothing, you know, nothing is fucked. Nothing is fucked.
The goddamn plane is crashing the mountain.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
We started saying nothing as fucked for a little while
when things were super fucked, and it was one of
those It really works.
Speaker 5 (34:07):
It works if you say that.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
One of the best things is how the dude picks
up things that he hears other people say throughout the movie.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Oh, I didn't even know.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
In the beginning, he's George W. Bush is on the
news going like this aggression will not stand and did.
Later on he's like, you know this aggression will not stand.
Speaker 6 (34:26):
Man, Oh that's right.
Speaker 5 (34:28):
I never picked up on that.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Oh, that's great. I gotta remind.
Speaker 6 (34:32):
And there's things that Walter says to him that he
ends up saying or.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Or I'm oh, you're doing the thing that.
Speaker 5 (34:41):
When everyone else does.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Yeah, but you did it knowing that they were stopped
at that light. I endorsed what you did.
Speaker 5 (34:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
You're telling me you sipped around the cars that were
waiting to turn right.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 6 (34:55):
Yeah, why did you entitle yourself to do that?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Sorry?
Speaker 5 (34:58):
Well, I just thought I could shut up?
Speaker 6 (35:04):
What characters, Judge.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Judy, do you have your receipt?
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Shut up? I love I love that. None of Judge
Judy's rulings were ever over the entire course of her
career based in law.
Speaker 6 (35:22):
It was always like, why do you have a ten
town cat that large?
Speaker 1 (35:28):
You?
Speaker 4 (35:29):
Shut up? There has to be a you shut up.
There has to be someone who's always disfavored from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Also, there's the perfect gift, which is her slamming her
hand down on her bench three times and then going
debt debt like to an in watch on her hand
and it's the funniest fucking thing.
Speaker 5 (35:48):
Oh that woman.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Yeah, really grew on me over the years. I used
to think, Wow, this person is so mean, and now
I love her.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
I love Judge Judy, although she has I did see
a picture of her recently. It was like a promo
her show and she was wearing a tight bun and.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
I said, changed her look.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
I said, Judo, we don't do that.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
She'd turned into George Bailey's wife. Had he never been
born not an old spinster, but the worst thing.
Speaker 6 (36:23):
Yeah, get away from my library, sir, you're walking around
with the snow.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Shut up.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
Let jump off a bridge.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Yelling but wanting everyone to be quiet in the library.
Speaker 6 (36:41):
That's La Studios and left.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
We just passed the ivy colored building that's a major
voiceover destination.
Speaker 5 (36:49):
Do you go there?
Speaker 4 (36:50):
I go there fairly often. There's times in my life
when I've been there very often recording some project. So
it's been a minute right now, But where what's the car?
One of the regular go to Independence Studios?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Because right after that was the regular go to where
they did World Stumas Best Week Ever v H one.
Speaker 4 (37:10):
Because I had an audition at that other place that
could block down.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Yeah, that's where I worked for many years.
Speaker 6 (37:15):
Maybe that's how I got the audition.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Yeah, yeah, it was me dropping. I had control over
this whole block your want. Yeah, because of my father
and that the Good Neighbor Restaurant is my father's old hang.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
My father said, we get to voice this.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
He said, I could have extra eggs.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
What is the.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I can only do I can't do SpongeBob, but I
can do just Tom Kenney. I think just him casually at.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
This guy reminds me ahead of us here in the
drive through, you see this guy with his shoe up
in the thing.
Speaker 5 (37:56):
Mm hm.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
So one time I'm gonna tell a reckless driver story.
Driving a very long drive from Fresno to Eureka.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Beautiful country.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Well it's like Norco and you think, oh, I'm driving
from NorCal to Norcow. It's not gonna take that long,
But it's like three times as long as the rest
of California.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Hours of calfar because.
Speaker 6 (38:19):
You had to go all the way up to Reading
and then make.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
A left, and you're on the five most of the time,
right five up.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
To Reading and then you take this weird mountain road
and so I barely had enough times. So I'm like,
I'm already speeding, right, but like normal speeding. I'm driving
like ten over the speed limit on an open highway.
Speaker 6 (38:38):
There's this like this car comes.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
Roaring up on my right and it was like a
Plymouth horizon from like nineteen ninety. It was like an
old like you don't see these anymore, like an old
Plymouth horizon. But it was booking it and I was,
you know, I'm doing I'm probably doing. I'm gonna guess
I guess I'm gonna be say, I'm gonna going like
ninety min an hour, eighty five, I'm doing like eighty
(39:02):
five and his.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Seventy five freeway Desert Freeway, Desert Freeway.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
And then this guy's roaring up like thirty miles faster
than me or more so he's probably he's doing one
hundred and fifteen or one hundred and twenty, barreling down
the road.
Speaker 6 (39:15):
And I see he has his left foot out the
out the window, drugs.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Any shirtless yep, and there's like you could see and
he he's smoking, shirtless, only wearing crop shorts, so it's
like barefoot out the window of this Plymouth horizon. And
he has like a girl in the passenger seat also
she has her feet out the window. So he's just
driving with one foot and smoking and doing a bunch
(39:40):
of shit barreling down the road. Wow. And then like
thirty minutes later I hit this like incredible traffic, like
incredible traffic. And then and then like it took a
long time to get through. And then like it took
like it took like an hour to get through this
traffic zone. And then there was this like red Plymouth
horizon that was like upside down on the side. Of course,
(40:03):
the morons they went.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
For it, oh wow, But the people were nowhere to
be seen or they don't know.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
For the children listening, I like to think they were
thrown free right into a sobriety clinic. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Yeah, we we deal with sobriety and soft mattresses. Come
on in and they.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
Come, come, come into the come into the the greater
merced area. We've got We've got circus bounced tents and
rehab building awnings that are made of stretchy fabrics and
clown bounces.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
It's also a used dispensary.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
This actually came into play. There was like a in
my apartment building. There was a mental health incident, and
she had like barricaded herself in the upper porch of
my neighbors inside this courtyard.
Speaker 5 (40:59):
I'm to your window down. So I'm good.
Speaker 9 (41:03):
Yeah, I'm okay, all right, order and eat in front
of everything. That's fine, Hi, sir, it's just for me here.
Could I please have a number two? And says a
cheeseburger meal with the fries and eliminade. Oh that's it, okay,
(41:24):
thank you.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
So where was it? Oh? So she was. She was
strick her clothes off and she was threatening to jump
when the police came and stuff, and it was very loud,
crazy four am incident.
Speaker 6 (41:37):
She was like ringing people's doorbells, being like.
Speaker 4 (41:39):
Called up bullice and then the police came and they
were trying to get her to get her not to jump,
even though it's just one story up. You know, they're
trying to get her not to jump. It occurred to
me it's not the cartoons. They don't have trampolines that
they could put out under you to jump onto. My
whole life I figured that when someone was in danger,
(41:59):
they were like, oh, they bring out the little trampoline. No,
there's of course not no, or like a bed sheet
or something.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
I thought they did that.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
Still, no, I don't think they do anything like that,
and maybe never.
Speaker 5 (42:11):
Did, and maybe never did.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
But there was all do you guys remember the handheld
game from the eighties, and it was like one of
these It was called Firemen, Firemen and Babies Fell out
of a window a video game. It was a little
handheld video game, so it was very like Game Boy pixelated, Yeah,
but like it was almost like first generation sure, and
you were two firemen running back and forth with a
(42:35):
tramp with a little trampoline. So the babies were falling
out the window, and they remember you bounced.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
I do remember this.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
You have to bounce them into like the ambulance. It
was the most fun game of all time.
Speaker 6 (42:47):
And you would lose a baby here and there.
Speaker 5 (42:49):
Yes, and if you lost three year old?
Speaker 4 (42:51):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (42:52):
That game is what made us all think.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
That's what they did.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Only in that game that they went around with trampolines
and cartoons.
Speaker 6 (42:59):
Yeah, like a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah, I swear I've seen it. I think in other
countries if there's a fire or something, they'll be like,
we gotta do something.
Speaker 7 (43:09):
It is, But I think that's in Dumbo, right, bird,
I'm seeing the visuals.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
You are no longer an elephant.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Said the elephant Wizard.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
That's the mean. There's like three mean elephant women. They
won't let him be with them because his ears are
too big.
Speaker 5 (43:42):
I mean, we have to have standards.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Yeah, that's the one thing you learn about. There's Asian
elephants and African elephants, and it's all in the ears.
One elephant has tiny ears, the other one that's big.
Old floppers and I can't remember which is which, but
that's how they that's elephant racism, right.
Speaker 6 (44:01):
I think they usually get Indian elephants first.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
Well, they don't do that in circuses anymore, but when
I was a kid, I don't think they got the
giant African elephants right to be in circuses. Maybe that's
the one time they tried that was in San Diego
when it went crazy and they ended up shooting it
in the downtown San Diego. It's like, yeah, that's like
a famous that's the I thought everybody saw. It's like
(44:27):
on it's in like remember there's like videotapes that would
go around in the nineties of like unbelievable footage. Yeah,
it was always on those like collections.
Speaker 6 (44:37):
Yeah, the elephant went nuts.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
And killed his killed his trainer, ye, and then two
other people and the police had to put a stop
to his ramp. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
I interchange it with the guy who hijacked a tank,
a Sherman tank.
Speaker 6 (44:49):
Yes, that was also on the same thing.
Speaker 5 (44:52):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (44:52):
I don't know if it was Faces of Death or
something else that was dumb like that.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yes, Yeah, I think it was on faces. Why my
family and we all drove from Montana to San Diego
to vacation. We just want a piece of the action.
Elephants and tanks.
Speaker 6 (45:05):
Elephants and tanks they were both at San Diego incidents.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Yeah, let's let's get in a hot car and check
it out. Abused whales. It's getting the less saber.
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Now. The funniest thing that's gonna happen here is if
they're like, the card has been declined, sir, we got.
Speaker 5 (45:22):
Cards, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Yeah, all valid cards.
Speaker 4 (45:26):
How often do people say yeah, sure, oh, oh you're paying,
you're driving, Okay, got it, I've got it.
Speaker 6 (45:32):
Heed it out out and zakku.
Speaker 4 (45:35):
Why don't we stop by Michelli's.
Speaker 5 (45:39):
We'll go see some singing waiters.
Speaker 4 (45:42):
Oh you know what I like about Michelli's too. I
haven't been there a long time.
Speaker 5 (45:45):
Wallet.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Oh, indeed, this is.
Speaker 6 (45:48):
The Machelli's here?
Speaker 4 (45:48):
Is that the same? Is it the same? Is it
also Michelli's in Hollywood? It's the old Italian spot.
Speaker 5 (45:54):
M I think it's the green one. It's at the bottom.
Could you dig back in? Thank you? Thank you?
Speaker 11 (46:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (46:03):
Is that like a bib for me?
Speaker 5 (46:04):
I think so?
Speaker 6 (46:05):
Yeah, I get a bib from in and out.
Speaker 5 (46:09):
You'll need it.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Plastic gloves with little obscs on them.
Speaker 4 (46:16):
The last time I went to a restaurant like, there
was this I think it was in Oh it's a
Koreatown or near there with my friend seafood place, and
they brought out the friend.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Yes, all right, I'm that I shouldn't have the Virginia seafood.
Speaker 5 (46:31):
No.
Speaker 6 (46:31):
I love that family they brought.
Speaker 4 (46:35):
They brought out the plastic bibs and gloves and I
was like, I was like, come on, what is this for?
I'm who needs this? And then I didn't realize this.
They brought the food out and they just have it
in a bag that they just shake up.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
And it's just a bag, a loose bag of buttery.
Speaker 4 (46:52):
Do you remember Todd glasses joke? Thank you the rest
of the podcast. I'm just going to be eating this.
Do you remember that old Todd Glass joke he used
to do where he would be like you you can
hear a go in front of you and you know
he's heavy where he's like he was he was like
I was behind this guy in close school. Like everything
they asked him, he kept saying, shure shore with a shoe.
Speaker 5 (47:18):
Sure, he's so funny.
Speaker 4 (47:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I always think of last time I saw him. I
was like, can you please do this joke of yours
that I like? And he did it and it did
not go well and it was my Yeah. Yeah, it's
it's like someone goes after him and says, I'm sorry,
but does my breath smell like tacos and breathe this
on him? And then he says, well, that depends do
(47:43):
you put cat shit in your tacos? I always thought
it was so funny, and it like didn't it wasn't.
It was too late, it was years later.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (47:52):
What.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Yeah, people don't want to hear about catch yeah even now.
See I'm the very and I did did not work.
Speaker 4 (48:02):
It's great radio, right, Oh yeah we do.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Yeah, people love it the time.
Speaker 4 (48:07):
We ate.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
It doesn't donuts rave reviews.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
You know what we'll do is you eat and we'll
ask you a series of questions where the only answer
can be sure.
Speaker 4 (48:19):
I want to tell you this Todd Glass joke that
is out he has now and I'm just gonna spoil
one of his jokes.
Speaker 12 (48:24):
I hope it's okay, but take your time and chew
your food. You can't have another choking incident and it
becomes a Lancaster burial episode. Tid Glass, he goes, I
have a cat. There was a wild cat and he
came into my house. And now you know, I've had
cats before. I like him and it's been a while
and I had his cat come in and I fed him.
(48:46):
I give him, I give him water, I give him milk,
I give him a little food and he comes around.
And he's an outdoor cat, so he just comes in
with me and I pet him and he can. He
sleeps there and I pet him and I.
Speaker 4 (48:57):
Chunk him and he's the cutest and he sits on me.
And then at night, you know, he's an outdoor cat,
he goes back, you know, outside and goes wherever he goes.
And then I started getting jealous of him. I started wondering.
I'm like, where are you going? And now you're I
mean you're going from like nine pm to nine am.
You're going for like twelve hours. Where are you going?
I mean not that you can't do what you want,
(49:18):
but like are you going to other people's houses?
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Going?
Speaker 4 (49:21):
And he's like, are you just staying on the front
porch or you're also going and sitting in their bed,
jealous of the cat like a love I love it.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
Okay, now, dude, he happens on jokes.
Speaker 6 (49:35):
Okay, yeah, I don't eat meat. You go to add
and out Burger.
Speaker 4 (49:42):
The corporations want you to eat meat. You're driving up
in Sherman Oaks, all these people, you drive up into
the hills, you get.
Speaker 6 (49:54):
Your rent and out and you.
Speaker 4 (49:55):
Eat it in shame in the hills and nobody can
fucking say you. You're balled at Ae.
Speaker 6 (50:09):
When he used to heckle himself.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah, that's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
I like when he just screams Marie. It just makes
me laugh so hard, like my life is somewhere in
the audience.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
Why, oh, they're so happy to see us. Of course,
we do a three point turn. There's a dog. They're
all having a picnic. It's a whole family at a table.
Speaker 5 (50:27):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (50:29):
And by the way, people don't know this.
Speaker 6 (50:30):
Your car is a raid with electromagnetic devices.
Speaker 4 (50:35):
Cameras.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
We're working for Google Maps as we do the podcast.
Speaker 4 (50:39):
Yeah, it's got one of those little bells that spins
around and gets the video and electromagnetic information of everything
it passes.
Speaker 11 (50:48):
Here.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna keep chilling. Yeah, we we
have to pick up intergalactic villain. Wait, what voice do
you do on some cartoon that sounds like Bane A little?
Speaker 4 (51:02):
I played Baane on Harley Quinn.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Is it Bane?
Speaker 4 (51:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Oh so the of course you did the band voice.
Speaker 6 (51:08):
I do the ban voice from the Tom Hardy movie.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Oh that's great.
Speaker 4 (51:12):
When I auditioned for it, I auditioned for all these
parts and then reading for Bane, and I was like, uh,
want me just do the Tom Hardy one And they
were like, yeah, so that's how I've always done it.
Where it's like law were the recording of this credit card.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
It's everything I've seen though, is like casual, like walking
into a room, and I like casual Bane. It's like
what are these receipts?
Speaker 4 (51:37):
That's tell they write it and I love it so
much where he is low status among the villains and
like put upon and insulted and stuff. I love that.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Oh that's the best.
Speaker 4 (51:48):
I don't know if I've told you guys this could
be a repeat. But the worst idea that was proposed
to me that I ever heard it was like we
want to hire you for this. It was Southwest Airlines
that was like, we want to hire. Am I think
I saw this. I think I this came to me
(52:09):
twice over the course of several years, So that means
it must be some executive's dumb idea that they kept pushing, right,
But like they wanted a comedian to fly with an
airplane on its several stops throughout the day in and
and stand up, oh god, and do comedy in the
aisles on the south of course Southwest, And I was like,
(52:32):
do you want me to get like violently sucked out
of an airplane like a gold finger is she's taking
pictures because she's substicious.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
It's the ultimate version of a bamboo cane pulling you
off stage. Okay, that's your time sucked out the ten
years ago the Southwest, like flight attendants had jokes they yeah,
over and over. I was like, wait, do they do
stand up? They encouraged them to have material to keep
it light and fun, but it was all jokes about
(53:04):
the dangers of flying. Yeah. It was like, wait, that's inappropriate.
Speaker 5 (53:08):
I mean it was like it started with they could
rift during the safety features.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Yeah, that whole speech, and then it was like people
adding to it or the highs and buys or it's like,
we're about to land in Burbank, the most boring city.
Speaker 5 (53:21):
And whatever where you're just like, okay, you say that,
can we just fucking can we just get this done?
Speaker 6 (53:26):
We about thirty minutes to we land in Burbank, the
headquarters of where you would live if you were a
Republican who somehow works in the industry.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
This flight attendants edgy I remember the closer of one
of them. They had some joke about if and what
are the chances we're going to land in the water anyway?
Speaker 4 (53:43):
But if we do, Like, yeah, I would love it
if there was one. If they were like, you know,
before he came along, the flight attendant comedians would play
by the rules. And then there's this one Bill Hicks,
George Carlin type guy comes along and he's smoking and
they're like you can't. He's like, well, I'm on stage.
And he's like, well, well, because he was performing, you
(54:05):
actually could smoke. Yeah, And he's like, you fucking first
class assholes. You you think you're so safe when this
plane goes down, you go down first.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
They give him his jacket's four thousand dollars, the exact
fine for smoking on an.
Speaker 6 (54:25):
Airplane, right he broke even.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah, oh shit, it's hard.
Speaker 4 (54:29):
He broke even in all his fancy It was unfair.
Speaker 5 (54:32):
Do you do you have anything else to plug or eat?
Speaker 6 (54:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (54:38):
Well, it's funny you mentioned I brought a little grid old. Actually,
do you guys have another ride after this? No?
Speaker 5 (54:46):
What we did one before?
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (54:47):
Yeah, so we get you get exhausted and you hate
driving more than two in a row or how does
it work?
Speaker 1 (54:52):
It's hard to do more than two.
Speaker 5 (54:54):
It's hot.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
So that's my thing is just after a while, you're
just kind of like, like we got coffees because it's like,
after a.
Speaker 13 (55:01):
While, you're just like, yeah, I can't explain it. I
love I couldn't love you more. I wish we socialized more,
but I got to stop. Pug is my brain, right,
it's almost every guest we have.
Speaker 6 (55:15):
It's it's hard.
Speaker 4 (55:16):
It's hard.
Speaker 6 (55:17):
I remember I had to stop doing my podcast because
it was a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
It's so much work.
Speaker 6 (55:21):
It was a lot of work and I loved it,
but it was the least amount of.
Speaker 4 (55:24):
Money that I made in my life.
Speaker 1 (55:26):
Yeah, was.
Speaker 4 (55:29):
The under culture. That's the one I did.
Speaker 1 (55:32):
Oh okay, sharplying.
Speaker 4 (55:33):
I do love. I just saw him recently.
Speaker 6 (55:35):
You're just on his a lot.
Speaker 1 (55:38):
My phone gives hey, this person's your friend. It keeps
it a real tight knit.
Speaker 6 (55:43):
For the algorithm.
Speaker 4 (55:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (55:44):
Yeah, they were like, we've learned Fairbanks likes people.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
It's a handful of them.
Speaker 6 (55:50):
Gariff, we've learned hates people.
Speaker 5 (55:52):
Doesn't really like them.
Speaker 4 (55:53):
Let's keep well, let's control them. But I have nothing
else to plug. I have nothing else. My mono obsession
in life right now is Path of Most Resistance. Yes,
available with eight hundred pound Gorilla available streaming on YouTube.
You could pay what you want on an eight hundred
(56:14):
pund gorilla. You can stream it for free on YouTube.
You can buy or rent it on any service where
you would do that.
Speaker 5 (56:19):
Please pay for it, listener, because you need to know.
And I'm sure we've said this before.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
James Domian is one of the best stand up comedians
that has ever lived. If you've ever seen him live,
it is a life changing experience every time. And I
have seen him do comedy a lot, and so I'm
not saying that lightly. I'm telling you you can get
an album of joy.
Speaker 4 (56:42):
He's a lot coming from Caring cood.
Speaker 5 (56:44):
Hey for your album of joy and watch it change
your life, and I.
Speaker 1 (56:49):
Would say the exact same thing. How's it feel coming
from me?
Speaker 5 (56:54):
Kick your favorite.
Speaker 4 (56:57):
Here?
Speaker 1 (56:58):
It's the blindfold?
Speaker 4 (56:59):
You just point, thank you. Yes, I'm happy to do it.
I'm so happy it's finally out. And yeah, Also, no
one died from the album from the Special because I
taped to a year ago and I wanted to release.
Speaker 6 (57:12):
It earlier, and it got delayed and delayed and delayed
for people.
Speaker 4 (57:15):
Like well, let's wait a let's strategically, and it ended
up coming out a year after I taped it, which
was much longer than I wanted to wait, and so
I was I was biting my fingernails all year, like, yeah,
David Attenborough is gonna die, right.
Speaker 6 (57:29):
Alex Jones is going to die. Tom Sell's gonna die.
Speaker 1 (57:33):
They're all alive. Do you do it, Tom Selleck, he's
in there.
Speaker 4 (57:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (57:39):
Let me tell you about these reverse mortgage chats. People
say it's somehow unethical to reverse orgag.
Speaker 1 (57:48):
Now do the do magnum p I Tom selling.
Speaker 4 (57:51):
That's see, that's not again. People get funny when they
crossed the age of sixty, especially men. That's when they
become like.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
Care It's funny because I watched I like Magnum p
I so much, And my only impression of him when
I was a kid was Higgins the dogs are near
the Ferrari Like. He always seemed like he is whining,
and I was like, why is he always whining about
these Doberman.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Because he could get away with it because he was
hot shit and like three inch in seam shorts.
Speaker 5 (58:20):
Yes, it was the closest.
Speaker 4 (58:22):
Usually used to masturbate to be back in nineteen eighty eight.
That's so it's my turn to cash in.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
He had just high high thigh corduroy short, four inch
in seams short.
Speaker 6 (58:34):
Harry giving Harry in short short.
Speaker 1 (58:37):
Yeah, like a shaved horse. But the hair is starting
to grow back vein earth thirty two inch thighs.
Speaker 6 (58:48):
No, No, Oddly the talk is.
Speaker 5 (58:50):
Going down the leg, onto the lawn, over to the job.
Speaker 4 (58:54):
There's like a union set designer. It's like we actually
had to coil it around. Yeah, don't worry for Osha
it was safety. Yeah, it was safety for other actors.
Speaker 1 (59:05):
I used to do this with Huey Lewis all the time.
I just have to wrap it around his waist like
a bundle. A big deal. I'm going to reveal w
this is at the end of the Here's what I
wrote down. I was going to sign things and I
just want to share them with you. A wizard frustrated
with an airline sporting process that we already kind of did.
And then uh, I wanted to Lewis Black rating a
(59:28):
teenage girl's diary. Just watch that video.
Speaker 6 (59:31):
Oh yes, that's from that's from like a decade ago.
Speaker 4 (59:34):
I found it and put it out again. I was
going to have you.
Speaker 10 (59:36):
Today is the very very very best day of Look
that's because Sean winked at me and blooms.
Speaker 4 (59:48):
No, no, I'll say that a good. The next week
is the big dance, and I know that means we'll
be in love for.
Speaker 1 (59:58):
I love it so much. And then I was gonna
have you wells and Vincent Price arguing I was like
making a two bigs too complicated, But I just wanted
to share that I almost made you.
Speaker 4 (01:00:10):
You are in the hills of Sherman Oaks. Oh surely
you don't mean Sherman Oaks. The Sherman Oaks is twelve
miles to the south, my friend. This is Studio City. No, no,
you can't possibly mean Studio City. My dear boy, I
mean where where where do they leave you off? And
where the minions overlook from the castle on top of
(01:00:33):
the hill. No, I'm sorry, if if this is, if
this is studio city, I'll go down on your asshole. Well,
it wouldn't be the first time someone has delighted me
from it. From the rear of the pocket, you see,
Oh go on, you so and so you're a damn
(01:00:55):
fool Vincent whatever happens in Sherman Oaks stays.
Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Thank you for indulging me.
Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
I love you, James, I love you.
Speaker 4 (01:01:07):
Thank you. Guys. I know it's you're exhausted, so go rest.
Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
No, I we were. We've been excited about you for weeks.
Speaker 6 (01:01:14):
Do you get in a when you go home and
you get in a pod with a bed that's like very.
Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
Similar to this, and Elon Musk is laying on the
other side of the bed. I'm like, they talked about
you the whole.
Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
Podcast, but you have an ai Elon who is there?
I'm doing this like programmed for you. I have. I
hope you like my sagging man.
Speaker 5 (01:01:39):
Booth, strange barrel chest. It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 6 (01:01:42):
I'm shaped like a guy who has a winery it's I'm.
Speaker 5 (01:01:47):
Aero dynamically incorrect.
Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
There we go. We should like to lay on my lumps,
the origin of which there is no explanation.
Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
My lumps, my lovely teslas.
Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
You've been listening to Do you Need a Ride? With
the Great James and Doomian d y n a R.
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Mixed by Edson Chroi.
Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.
Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Theme song by Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at dinar
podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
Thank you, Oh You're welcome
Hosts And Creators
Karen Kilgariff
Chris Fairbanks
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