December 8, 2025 • 58 mins
This week, Chris and Karen welcome comedian Greg Behrendt to chat about swinging cruises, indestructible Pelotons and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Are you leaving?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want
to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim
and give us time and a terminol.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
And gaye ad.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We want to send you off in style. We wanna
welcome you back home. Tell us all about every scared her?
Was it fine? Mal porn? Do you need to ride?
(00:51):
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do your need to ride?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need ride?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
This is Chris Fairban and this is Karen Kilgaroff.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
We were driving. We were finishing the last episode. If
you listen to them in order, this is going to
be seamless.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You won't believe what just happened. It's never happened on
the show before.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
We were stumbling to try and find a through line.
I talk too much about birds and Butte Montana and
killing birds. Both we were and now we've been distracted
because we were so excited to catch up with and
rekindle our love, not that it was on the rocks.
I said that wrong with today's guest. You know clubs
(01:52):
in colleges, everyone put your ears together for great Baron.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Please Hi Greg Barrett, Hey, hello, hello.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
We actually he was walking on the street. Were you not?
You found parking?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I just I just found a space, and quite organically.
I didn't expect you to pull up in a cyber truck.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
It was weird, so you have to understand my alert.
First we were why are you stopping for me? Yeah? Yeah,
and I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I'm sorry. I put a burlap sack over your head.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
We just needed you to get in here.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, and I was very excited to kidnap you. Thank
you for Yeah, do you want to?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Just look everywhere but at other people's eyes, so we
don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Greg. How are you?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
You're good? Yeah, very good.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I mean nothing? Really, I mean I mean nothing and everything.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
You know, we haven't seen you. When we did that
live show that was like two thousand and seventeen, was
the podfast, right, some kind of a fast and we
were assigning each other's joke. There was a really fun episode.
(03:15):
We decided that that was going to be the theme
of the or at least a segment where you make
someone do a joke that you remember them saying. We
never did it again, though, that's only a Greg Baron's special,
and we aren't going to do that again. I'm not saying, hey,
do some of your old jokes. It would be terrible.
(03:36):
It was terrible to do then be terrible now.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
But what but what.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Would happen if you saw spider mandaying out? I mean,
just for example of what you're not going to do, I.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Mean, if he was just leaning up against the wall with.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah leg yeah, I think I did that exact thing
last time I made the joke.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I would solicit him for prostitution, because that is the
old chicken hawkway of getting work.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Really, it's what we do while we're here, Greg, do
you need a coffee or to go to a drive
through of any kind.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Or have a coffee? I brought a coffee, great, Yeah,
I'm good, Thank you though yeah yeah yeah good. So
it's rude to bring your own coffee as though you're
assuming you won't be gifted it or right, do you
know what I mean? Yeah? Is it like? Oh, no,
I better?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm always like got, I have to get covered. I
will not rely on the kindness of strangers, yeah yeah,
or good friends even yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
At the beginning of the last episode, I apologized publicly
Karen for showing up with a coffee only for me
and not one for her, knowing that she probably also
wants one. Yeah, of course you gotta get the cardboard
hold her.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, it's too hard to get a cardboard hold.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Well, then I gotta put put the state belt around
it so it doesn't spill, you know, I like to
keep my interior coffee stained free. Since twenty seventeen, what
kind of hip did you get?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Would you get a new hip?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah? Yeah I did.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Do you want to tell us all about it or not?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Wait?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
What's the model?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I don't you know? It's a t R fourteen. Okay,
I made a mistake because the fifteens came out like
the day after. Yeah, and they've got a phone in them.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Yeah, you had the hip that So he's trying to
kill Sarah Connor.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yes, yeah, you shouldn't have gotten that one.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah, mine is discontinued. They're like, turns out cobalt should
not be in a human body. It makes people's eyeballs
and brains act funny, but not mine. It's been great,
but you can't get it anymore. So I had a
limited drop release. Oh, well, yeah, my hip's like a
(05:46):
T shirt. It supreme. But you got a full hip replacement, right,
I got a full Hi. Yeah, because during that live show,
I think I tried to run around the theater and
then I was like, oh, was too soon for that.
I should not have run.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, I haven't run since. I mean, I can't. I
can I opt not to. Didn't they used to the
hip as an excuse? Did they?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Did they tell you not to run?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
They said I probably wouldn't be able to run, right, Okay, yeah,
they were like running probably cycling treadmills, you know that
kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
And then they said you have to be a swimmer,
didn't they? I don't think they mentioned Mike Guy was
pushing swimming on me hard.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Greg.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
They just said, sit down, Yeah, you just take a
load off. Relax.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Second, I wish they had given you what are you
supposed to do with your body? Just get it? Get
a comfy chair. Yeah, oh come on.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, no they I mean I ride the I have
a peloton, not a brag. Most will be going out
of business soon, but that's gonna be a fun thing
that's going to go away. I think pelotons, Yeah, the
peloton and the Peloton instructor and the and you're getting
the Peloton mixed on your phone and yeah, no, it's
(07:06):
all because I think it's just going to go away.
I think people are are happy to cycle on their
own and.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Maybe can't afford in New York.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I think they had some really good unpaid advertising with
the Palisades and Altadena fires. Every single house would be
just a pile of bricks and nails, and there's a
perfect Peloton bike. They do not melt. I saw so
many Peloton bikes next to a chimney, the only things standing.
(07:45):
These things. I'm not kidding. They must be made of
cobalt because they don't melt.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
They took a hit when Big from Sex in the
City drop dead after peloton. Oh you're kidding, Yeah, a
peloton and then he died in the shower, which is
where the show should have gone. Chris yeah, Chris nov Yeah,
because they realized, oh, he's just he's a pig. So
he had a heart attack on a peloton and off
(08:12):
she went with the actor or the character well both,
Oh really it's gone yeah really yeah, Oh.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
The show killed the actor. Once the character was dead.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
They had the power to kill the actors.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yeah, that was in his contract.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
He didn't realize there is really the one who says
she's been in television long enough that that provision is
in her contract.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Did they get in trouble because they killed him on
a peloton?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, there was a little bit of a like a backlasher.
I mean there's a backlash for everything now, so it
doesn't really matter. I mean that's we're not all Sydney Sweeney.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, that was ridiculous. We all know she was wearing jeans.
Oh the pip It was a play on words. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
It was a play on white suprema. See strange move
for twenty twelve.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh sure, I'll do your commercial, but I have a
few rewrites. Yeah, the slogans.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Can we work eugenics into it?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Because I just have these ideas?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, I feel like ideas, But it's eugenics, the testosterone
pill that all these seventy year olds like golf with
keep pitching.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Now, eugenics is the whitening of America.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Oh weird. Yeah, Well, there's also a pill you can
take called eugenics that makes how we Long and some
other baseball players able to perform again. Oh wow, both
sexually and on the golf course.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
It's like when I watch I'm visiting my dad and
I'm watching commercials for the first time in years because
he has traditional cable. Right, there's a lot of you know,
it's like way long.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
The new I've fallen and can't get up is are
you Are you having trouble getting a rock hardwen?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Yeah, there's so many ways now to get hard and
to lose weight at the same time.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Right, And this was I think more than anything. Yeah,
it's like talking about gut health and your and your whatever,
your body's ability to eat fat whatever. They call that. Yeah,
and for some reason it's called eugenics. But that's a
bad word.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah. Well, I think it's not eugenics. I think it's
like eugenics.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Oh okay, okay, there's.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Probably an i X at the end, because they love
to do that with pills.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Oh yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Then something else, because eugenics would be really problematic if
they named a pill that yes, and the.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
White guys advertising, yeah yeah, and the.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Eugenics yes is an ex at the end.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Nugenics sounds even more like a race cleansing thing.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Yeah, it's a problem either way.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
It's a problem.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Greg.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Have you gotten this cold that everyone has?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And I just not yet. But I've been abroad well,
right after the pandemic. I was a man who needed
a job and a friend of mine works on a
cruise ship ooh and said, hey, you should send your
stuff to my agent. You know, it's not like it
(11:28):
used to be. There's comedy clubs on the boat.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
You're not going to host bingo.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Right, you don't have to do clean show. Yeah, you
don't have to do you know, you just have to
do comedy. Yeah, only for twenty minutes really, and with another.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Guy, and you get to see the world.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
The boat part way to Italy three times this summer. Whoa,
my gosh. Yeah, so it just started. I just started.
And the money is better than I was being paid
in the clubs.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, isn't that funny?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah? And I don't have to sell tick. I love it, right,
it's a I mean, it's weird, but it comes with
a pretty heavy price tag because you know how people
feel about cruised comedy, right, So it's sort of like
oh wow. But then I'm like, well, I just want
my kids to get through college, right and then and
(12:20):
then when I'm home, I'm just with a mirror of
fostering dogs, which we've been doing since the fires. Oh,
which is the greatest thing I've ever.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
I love it. How many dogs are at your house
right now?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Right now? There's a mom and tupups from a hoarder
house in Kerrent County where there were forty dogs in
the backyard. So it's this Chihuahua mix little I mean
not really little, but small dog and her two really
tiny puppies. They just opened their eyes. They're only two
(12:55):
weeks old. Yeah, pretty great.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Are you nursing them with a bottle?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
And no, they're they're doing their own nursing.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Oh wow, that's right.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I mean I'm also nursing. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
No, do you bottle feed or we.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Don't have you We don't have to bottle feed these, right?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
I How many have you kept? Because I feel like.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I have kept any And that's the heartbreaking part of it.
A mirror is really good, Like, okay, time to give
them away, And I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Like, but we love them.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I fall in love every time. Yeah, and but so
like every other month we have a dog for four
to six weeks or two dogs or three puppies or whatever,
we've had a combination.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
But it's so great.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, dogs are so much better than people.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
They certainly are.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
They're worth the time. Yeah they are.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
They're great.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
They're worth the time, and they give back.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
That's what I was going to say. They really do.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
But you know what I was going to say about
how people feel about boat comedy.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
I don't think there is a like people anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I don't think there's like a held belief about like
the way we were so worried in the nineties and
two thousands about everybody else's opinion. Yeah, I think these
days people are like, you got a job, that's amazing, right.
I think that's truly, or at least that's how I feel.
But it's like anybody else where, it's like, yeah, go
(14:18):
get that fucking bag and do it in a way
that's fun. I don't think anybody's like judging that.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
No, I haven't really come up against that, but I
will say, like cruising is like traveling in a red state.
It's a very conservative form of travel.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It's but is it older folks stillar is it?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
It comes and goes? It depends on the price of
the ship. The more expensive the older. Oh, and the
longer the ship, the older because they have the time.
And then when you do like two three day cruises,
you're with young people, you know, who just want a party.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, and that's when you're like, I don't want to
do this anymore.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Well, yeah, I like old people. So I just stay
in my room and I listened to hardcore when I'm
in the hallway and I just walk past people. And
but I don't. But I mean, I love doing stand up.
I'm you know, it's still right, it's still it's it's
all new. There's no I haven't given up and I'm
(15:25):
just doing old bits or whatever, like you know, I
still take it seriously. Like if I was doing Largo,
I would do the same material that I would do
with Largo.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Yeah, oh yeah, I would assume that about you. You
don't have a second gear that you can default. No,
you will do stand up the way Greg Barrett does.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Although I would imagine that you have some great observations
about the buffet you got it.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I talk about how long the ship is, that's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
In numbers, like you tell the people.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I'm like you know how long? Like, I mean how long?
Like the the ship is problematically long? Okay, right, I
do you have any joke?
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Because when I was on a cruise, I wrote down
a lot of things, mostly feeling uncomfortable about them parking
on what appeared to be a coral reef and just idling.
And then people that live in that community were made
to come out and dance and welcome a bunch of
white people getting off about Oh I don't like I
(16:30):
That's that's what I was. I didn't like the arrival
to a to a land.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
No. And like in the Bahamas, most of the ports
are pretty crusty, they're not great, right, and and there's
a lot of poverty. I mean, cruising is for people
that don't really want to leave America, right. They come
home to America like they're like, okay, well we did
(16:59):
a day on the each and now I need to
get back to like a musical, you know, like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
They're not getting into the local culture.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Not really.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
No, you risk being left behind in the sou I
went because, like you said, it was like there was
tanks there and guys with machine guns, and I asked someone,
can I just go explore around and I once I
walked a couple blocks into a neighborhood. It was beautiful houses.
(17:33):
Everyone's washing their car. They're staring at me.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
I stopped.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
These kids were like painting a mural and I posed
in the photo with them. It's one of my favorite
photos because I was just watching them finish this this
painting and then they're like, do you want to be
in the picture with us. I had the best time,
but then I almost missed the boat. They will leave
your ass.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Oh yeah, yeah, you got to get on the boat.
They're not I mean the boats that are on the
largest boats in the world. Yeah, so there's six thousand guests.
Oh Jesus, two thousand people work on the boat. So
there's eight thousand people on the boat work for a
Royal Caribbean. That's they worked for Princess. But those are
(18:17):
just trips in Alaska and there are three days and
it's great money and then it's over.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
My parents both worked they met on Princess cruises. They
my mom was a nurse and my dad was a curser.
Oh you kidding, Yeah, Oh, that's amazing. We're cruising people
the weirdest way. Yeah, I mean my dad also.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Worked for the cruising people like here is like like.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I'm the heiress to the Princess Cruises fortune. God if
my parents had played their cards differently.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Every time you guys say cruising, I think of a
man pulling up with a curly mustache, going hey, looking
for a ride, And then I'll remember what happened.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Sure, when you have a day off, yeah, and you're
on the boat, Yeah, do you swim in that really
deep pool?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
No? I am. I don't like being wet. I never have.
Oh I don't love showers. I don't like being wet.
I like having my clothes on at all times. I'm
not a shirt off guy. No, So I won't publicly
take myself to the pool. That would that's a nightmare
for me. Okay, sometimes I walk up there one time.
(19:35):
One time. Oh my god, this is such a gross story.
So one time I'm on the ship and you do
a lot of shows. You do like two or three
shows at night, and you do it for a week,
and there's one day off. So I was on for
two weeks and the cruise director goes, Okay, well, I
guess I'll just see you one Wednesday. And I was like,
what do you mean. He goes, well, there's only one
(19:56):
show this week and it's Wednesday in the theater. And
I'm like why, and you go because it's a chartered cruise.
And I was like, oh, somebody's charted the cruise and
he goes yeah, and I go who And he told
me the name of the company. Well, it was a
fucking swingers cruise. But it was on one of the
big ships, so it was like four thousand swingers. Can
(20:20):
you imagine four thousand? Four thousand people average age fifty seven,
So it was just and it when I say, they
just throw mattresses on the floor. On the floor that
I was on, there are also offices or like a
little ballrooms, you know, like in hotels. They threw like
(20:43):
ten mattresses down, and then they had two guys with
a mop and a bucket and people were just fucking there.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Oh god, this is like that lobster thing.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
I went to, how is this allowed?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah? So the guy I was with, the guy who
was working with it, was a nice guy, but uh,
he was like, we gotta go see the people on
deck three fucking And I was like I no, no,
I'd rather walk in on a surgery, and and he
was like, no, you gotta go check it out. And
then I was talking to a mirror my wife on
(21:18):
the phone, and she goes, you know, seriously, Greg, just
get five more minutes, Just get a five minute bit
out of it. Go see it. And yeah, that's so
I went. And it was as bad as you can imagine.
It was all old people and as soon as they'd
be done, they'd run over, rip the sheets off the
mattress and throw them in a bucket and then get
(21:39):
another sheet down like they were.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Wait to save the DNA.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
It was like a pit stop. Oh my god, like yeah,
like I get the mattress, Get the mattress.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Sorry, that's why pit stop sound effect. It never makes
sense when I do it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
It sounded like a drill to It's a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
It's natica poor man's Michael Winslow. Uh, that is insane.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
It was so gross. So one day he was like,
let's go up top because it's clothed and optional at
the pool. And I'm like, you're not selling it to me.
So we went up and and it was sure enough
there were people half naked, all naked whatever and they
were doing a contest of who could make the best
(22:26):
orgasm sound with a kazoo. This is a true story, and.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Not during one of the orgies.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
During the middle of the day, like so they could
give away drink tickets. Oh god. And so there are
three women and the third woman takes the kazoo and
sticks it in her no, and the crowd went bananas.
And then she didn't even make a noise with her mouth.
And I think she I think she won.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Did she make a noise?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
The no, it doesn't work that way.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
No.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I don't know if you've spent any time with them,
but they don't necessarily.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well, I'm amazed since I've seen a ping pong ball
go about thirty feet. I'm kidding. I don't travel. I don't,
I've never I've only heard stories.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
But I will say it's one of the best stand
up shows I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
So for those people, yeah, they were, they were in
such a the vibe. I mean, I stayed in my
room the old time, like every time I saw people
that got depressed. And the weird thing is like when
you're on the ship sometimes kids are sort of a pain.
But then I really missed them because there were no
kids obviously on this trip, right, and I missed having
(23:48):
kids run up and down the hallways and push all
the elevator numbers and do all the stuff that they do.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I'm glad there was no kids on that boat.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I couldn't believe that you could get I didn't think
there were four thousand swingers in the country.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
There was.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
Do you remember that documentary?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Used to watch it in the two thousands and it
was called like American Something, and it was about swingers
in Orange County and it is It was one of
the grossest things I'd ever seen. Yeah, and we put
it on all the time, like Laura would put it on.
It was like that and that diapering movie that she
would always put on when she was drunk.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
To be like you guys.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
But it was not like there's nothing even slightly appealing
or attractive about it.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
No, it is weird. Yeah, it's really it's really unsexy. Yes,
I mean they're all into it.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
I got on the elevator and this one guy got
on and it was just a true of us and
he looked wrecked and he went, I don't know, and
I was like, yeah, hear, ye, I didn't know what
I was saying, Yeah, yeah, but I was like, yeah,
I hear you, but he was obviously you just wiped
out because it's seven days, so it's seven days of fucking.
(25:07):
And I'm like, man if I jerk off twice a week,
I started thinking about going to a second on the street.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah, yeah, that, yeah, I could see. You know what
bothers me the most about the whole thing is cruise
ships in general are the whole time I'm on them,
I'm I'm realizing you're there's sewage, you're a floating porta potty.
So to add uh intimacy, Like I'm all the horror stories,
(25:38):
I'm always worried that there's going to be a leak
or you know, I've seen documentaries where it's like somehow
the sewage is coming down the elevator shaft.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Yep, that was Royal. Yeah it is.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
That's what I think of, and uh, it makes me
not want to hang a pineapple on the door and
start winking at other companies, go do they have to pineapp?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I never knew that.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah, I would just think that that that booking that
cruise would be more of a carnival vibe than a
Royal Caribbean.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's what I thought too. But Royal Caribbean is not
above making a dollar.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
Okay, right, I mean who is who is?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You know? And and they have the room for it
on the ships that I go on, which are the
icon class. Uh, there's a skating rink, there's a there's
a park, there's a boardwalk, there's two malls.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Like a park with bushes.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
And yeah, there's a central park. It's called Central Park.
Oh you're meant to look like a mini Central Park?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Oh wow?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Does it feel park like or does it feel like
a weird installment?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
It feels like a weird installment, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Because it's kind of like three quarters the size, right,
I mean, of course not like park.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I'm I'm tricked even in Vegas, where it's like, I know,
that's not a big beautiful blue sky and that's not
real gold, but I love it. I don't know why,
because I.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Mean it's very much like Vegas. Like, yeah, people are
generally pretty nice. I have to say, like, the people
are pretty nice. It's just I don't, even though I
do this, I don't like a lot of people. I
mean I like a lot of people. I don't like
a lot of people at once, right, Right. I don't
like crowds, and I don't like I'm a big get
(27:34):
off the stage and get out of the club as
soon as possible person. I don't like to meet and greet.
I don't like to take photos, right, I like to
talk to people. I don't even like to when people
say they're coming to see me, I bum because I
don't want to hang out, because I like the experience
of going on stage and have that be a full thing,
(27:54):
and then when I'm done, go right, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
I mean, you probably go back to the days where
when I was opening for you and you would do
stand up, and then you had to talk to these
women holding the book but also wanting to talk to
you about their relationship, as if they didn't just watch
you do your stand up. It's like, I know that
(28:19):
you're also this is part of your gig, my husband,
and I see you be so patient with these these
women that and it was I wondered how you felt
about that, because the thing that was hard for.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Me was like knowing at the end that it wasn't
really a stand up crowd, right, and that they probably
weren't coming back, right, you know, I mean they had
their one experience, they got their books signed, of course
they you know, I mean I turned some of them
into stand up fans, but not enough. Otherwise I wouldn't
be doing cruise ships, right right, yeah. But I also
(28:54):
didn't mind because without the book, they wouldn't have been there,
so there would have been an empty room, so right,
right right. It was of a you know, kind of
a double edged thing. But I'm I'm grateful to not
talk to people about their relationships.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Well, it's an hour and a half after the show.
It's like taking for that line to because you want
to spend time and be and listen to people, but
it's like you can't get out and go back to
the hotel if you're if you're not going to be
rude and cut people off and just remember how long
you had to.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
And the clubs wanted you just you know to do that.
Oh okay, to sign books.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Or that's funny because I'm dealing with venues that are
like why are you still here? And I'm like, well,
I got I'm talking to people that like my podcast
and they're like, well, I guess I can stay late,
like they're mad at me. But it's a different It's
not like it's just a different situation when you're renting
(29:53):
a music venue or something.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yeah, when I had my podcast with Dave, I loved
when people came out, Yes, I love.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Those and they are fans of comedy and the.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Podcast fans were the best. Yes, they were, and they
loved the podcast and it had its own world as well,
so it was fun. I like that. I like that
very much, Yeah, very much.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Just not to go back to the swinging, but what
is Because I was wearing a pineapple on a hat,
a free hat. I think the pineapple was referencing the
way an alcohol was made. It was like a booze
hat that I got for free. And this couple came
up to me and they're like, pineapple huh, like winking
and whistling. I'm like, I have no idea what you're
(30:38):
talking about. And they're like, oh, well, you're wearing a
pineapple on your hat. We just thought you were a swinger.
That was how I was introduced to this. And then
I looked it up and apparently in the early days
of swinging, you hanging pineapple off of your porch light
or whatever. Were they hanging pineapples off their cruise ship doors.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah, there's there's pineapple stickers. Oh, then they put them
on and I think it's I think if they put
it upside down.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
That's so funny. Yeah, like a horseshoe. Otherwise it's bad luck.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah, that's right. You don't want the ruck lock to
run out.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Yeah, yeah, that's so I asked I was going out
on a limb because of course I've not been on
a swinging cruise ship, but now it sounds like I have.
But I assume there would be pineapple stickers.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Yeah. Yeah, No, there's pineapple sticks, and they're on regular
cruises as well.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Oh you're kidding.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah yeah, sometimes because cruise people they've got their own language,
and so people will let you know if they if
the cruise or not.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
That's so fun.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Some people just put Happy Birthday on their door.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
But yeah, yeah, Have you been on other themed cruise cruise?
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Is that one?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
No?
Speaker 1 (31:46):
But there's themes throughout the whole week. There's white Night,
there's seventies or eighties night where they all have wigs
and costumes and rainbow gear and disco. There's all kinds
of karaoke shamed situations. That's all what I expect in
(32:09):
the main theater there's full musicals, you know, like Mama Mia.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Oh, and that's fun.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
And stuff like that. And the kind of fun thing
is that last night you do the theater, you do
stand up in the theater and you do a different
set than you were doing in the main room. Oh
and that's like twelve hundred people. That's great, and that
that's kind of fun because when was I going to
work in the theater again, you know, So that's kind
(32:36):
of great.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
That's great. Now, I'd love it. Yeah, if you like
stand up and I do too, I like doing it
more than never.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Well, maybe I'll call there. I think his name was
Tony Rock or something. There was a guy that called
me about cruise ships, but he was so aggressive on
the phone. It made me. That's what scared me the most.
And like, I don't, I don't. I And it.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Depends on who you get with because a lot of
them are clean. A lot of them want you to
do forty five minutes. Yeah, yeah, three different forty five minutes.
That's like they have absurd asks. But the people I
work for don't And that's it. And I wouldn't do
I won't do the other ships. Okay, it just isn't.
It isn't. I'm I'm not there to make sure I
(33:18):
can do forty five minutes clean right right? Or kid friendly,
which doesn't make sense. There's no such thing as a
kid friendly. Stand up back you, I mean you are.
We're never that dirty.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
You just say fucking a lot like me, Like it's
just a word, you like it's a descriptive word.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Now I talk about things like the deodorant for your
asshole and stuff.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Sure, sure, but I don't that's relatable though.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
We're all using it, and it's about time.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
You will stand up and through storm out. I can't
believe he's suggesting this idea.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
That I often do myself. Yeah, using armpit, the odorant.
Get there. No one's talking about it, yeah, I that's
the first I've heard of it.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Are you still? I'm going to change the subject.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Are you still Greg living in the valley?
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Yeah? How is? How's it?
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Then?
Speaker 1 (34:16):
It's fine? So you know I like it. The girls
like it, you know both Like true has come and
has gone and come back from college? Wow? Right, she's uh,
she's now an assistant.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
At w oh wow.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, and she's on the She started in the mailroom
and now she is an assistant for an independent film
financing agent.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
That's great, and she's.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
She's doing that. She's trying to get into motion picture.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
It's the way to do it, and and mighty.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
At Berkeley By she's the comedy editor of the Daily Cow.
I love it, Yeah, And she writes comedy. She had
a really smart piece about the new women in comedy
and the new men, about how we're we're working our
way out of the manusphere. Oh well, talked to a
(35:11):
little bit like Chris Fleming and Kaylee Hearn.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
And that's amazing. They're just very clearly your daughters. I
love it. I haven't seen them since they're kids, and
so it's insane to me to imagine.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I know it's that wild.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Oh wow, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
But yeah, I still I still like Studio City.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Right, it's good enough. It's good, it's good enough. Is
it the greatest place I've ever lived? I wouldn't say so.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
Yeah, there's minuses, there's minuses. But we have a really
good Marshals.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Right, there's a good Yeah, there's a good Marshals.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Great skincare section.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, several large drug stores.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
There's Sprouts, there's friends are four different trader jos.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Yeah, each with a smaller parking lot.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah, yeah, to do you like the one with the
new one? I like the new underground parking lot one.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
Where's that?
Speaker 1 (36:09):
It's right across the street from the Westfield mall, and
it's right across the street from the other trader jokes.
It's exactly across the streets and that's right.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yeah. Nice.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
I'm There's a Sprouts that opened to day in my
neighborhood in Echo Park, and I have not yet gone.
There are balloons. I'm very excited.
Speaker 4 (36:34):
Get down there you can. They'll give you some green
grapes and a little paper cup.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
I bet really.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
I mean Sprouts is the beginning of gentrification, but you
look past that because it's Sprouts and the deli section
has been.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
But they must let it go.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
It's affordable.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Though it's happening. I really didn't start it. It's not
my fault. Yeah, I'm going to shop here.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it is it. It's truly what
is happening in my neighborhood since I moved there. I
didn't cause it, but I did move right at when
it started ramping up the gentrification in Echo Park, so I, uh,
but I become good friends with all my neighbors, so
I'm doing my part. Yeah, but I yeah, I'm very
(37:21):
excited for sprouts because groceries, I mean, need we talk
about how expensive they've gotten.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
All of it? Man?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
It's also it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Yeah, I needed a new place, and.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
That's why I'm bringing you both to this beautiful church.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Let's talk about God just kind of surprisingly. I mean,
as far as churches go, that one is inviting, right,
drop me off. I'm gonna Hella praise his name and glorious,
(37:57):
just praise it Lousanna in the highest. I don't know
if that's one of them. It's been a while.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
I think it is.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
When are you on? Do they call furlough when you're
on a break?
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I want to break. I go back out Saturday for
a couple of weeks.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
What do you recommend for travel?
Speaker 2 (38:17):
What are your travel tips or any products that you use?
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Oh? Interesting on the road, because I travel so much now,
it's insane how much traveling I've done. M hmmm. Because
I did three trips to Europe this summer, so wow.
I flew to Spain three times and sometimes through Turkey,
which doesn't make sense.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Oh, I want to go to Turkey.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah, I want to go to Turkey too. It looked
really good when we were there. And do you.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Get to experience these places get off the boat for
more than three hours?
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Or it?
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Does? It depend?
Speaker 1 (38:50):
It depends. In all the good places you have to
get on a bus for like two hours to see something,
now you know what I mean? Except for Yeah, except
for when you go to Napoli or Naples, right in Italy.
It's right there. You get off and you're there.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
That sounds great.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, And there's vaguely racist representations of Lewis Hamilton. Sure
now drives for Ferrari. But which is That's my thing
is F one I And during the pandemic, I went
deep and I haven't recovered.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Have you gone to Austin yet? No?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
I haven't gone. Yeah, I want to go. I wish
I was gonna try and go this year, but I
think I'm gonna go next year.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
If you know who's super into F one is John Travis.
You ever talked to John Travis about it?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
I haven't talked to John Travis in a million years,
but I think you Texan was telling me that, Yeah,
he loves it.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, Oh he's into it too, King.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
He's been into it since like we were in grammar school.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I got into it like it's funny. I didn't even
know about it. It's just every time I had shows
in Austin, I would show up during that week, assuming
I would get on hotels dot com and get a
room and that Why are they eight hundred dollars for
a room?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I know it.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
It's because it's a wealthy person spectator sport and it's
like going to Monterey during whatever US Open or something.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Oh wait, Greg, were you following up when they tried
to do it in Las Vegas and they fucked all
those things up so bad.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
And they they're still doing it, are they right? Yeah?
Last night Las Vegas hates it. And my mother in
law lives in Vegas. She didn't hate it, but she
wasn't directly. She lives sort of outside in summerland. But yeah, no,
it would be they just plopped down in the middle
of Las Vegas on the strip, turn it into a racetrack. Yeah,
shut down all the streets. I'd be bummed too. Yeah,
(40:50):
if I lived right there, you know, and.
Speaker 4 (40:52):
They were doing something.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
I just remember a story where they were doing some
sort of like test runs and the cars went so
fast that they were flipping an hole covers up.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Into the air.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Did signs car flipped the manhole cover into the bottom
of his own car and destroyed it. It's so dangerous.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
It's like from isn't that an episode of The Flintstones?
Speaker 1 (41:14):
I mean it does feel that way.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Just kicked it up, Yeah, yeah, of course. Well you
gotta when your break pads fail, you gotta go to
option B kick those off.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Yeah, it was. It was rough, but it's it turned
out to be one of the better. It's actually one
of the better race tracks. Oh, there's twenty four races
in a year. When Drive to Survive started, there was
only one American race, which was lostin And now there's
Vegas and Miami. So they picked two shed holes to
(41:47):
put their fucking race up in. The Miami one is
so fucking tacky and gross. But Miami, it's so Miami. Yeah, yeah,
it's so Jennifer Lopez with a parasol.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
But are they trying to be like the city starting
with an m is it?
Speaker 4 (42:07):
Mom? What am I thinking?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Monaco? Yes?
Speaker 4 (42:10):
Are they trying to do that.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Yeah, they're trying to, yes, exactly, except for that Monaco
is actually a beautiful and classy place. Yeah yeah, And
I mean Austin is cool. The Austin one's really cool. Yeah,
it've done really well.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
But they have a permanent track. It's the Circuit of
the Americas and it's not it's not a street track
the other ones. They put it in the middle of
the city.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Why I need to go there sometime when it's not happening.
I'm going there for New Year's Eve. I don't think
Formula one will be happening.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
No, are you performing there?
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Yeah? Yeah, Cap City Comedy Club you remember, But it's
not in Austin anymore.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
That that would be my if I lived there, this
would be my plans. Yeah, I'd come out and see you.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
It would be Yeah. It's an interesting the domain it's called.
It seems like a community surrounded by people that invested
in Dell when it was a publicly traded company. It's
people that didn't work at Dell but are millionaires because
of Dell. A lot of them live around. That was
the story I heard. So it's just Cap Cities in
(43:16):
a mall that's like the Grove and the Americana combined
very far from Austin, so I feel like I'm not
really there. And you felt that way with the Old
Cap City. It was far enough out of town that you, yeah,
it's but it is a pretty nice one stop shop.
(43:37):
It's kind of like a cruise ship, honestly, because I'm
not going to leave that area. Everything I need is there, yeah,
of course, and then I you know, I love it.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
I've been to a couple of clubs that I've been
in Americana style walls and you're loving it. There's a
theater there usually it's nice.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Just where it's like, here's a restaurant like katsu yah.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Yeah, right, go to the.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Movies, go to Sephora. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
Yeah, like we did and wherever in Florida when there's
a hard rock cafe and we did that improv and
now when you're pale Laramie Dean and went to a
movie and then oh yeah, and uh I uh chewed
it just about every night right before you uh you
look good and then you go outside and just h
(44:21):
Dennis Rodman was freestyle rapping with a Tejano band. Oh Florida,
why are you being so florida Ish.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
First off, neither of us did great, and those clubs
were just filled with people that were like, they didn't
care who was on stage. They went to see comedy, right, Yeah.
I loved and hated that place because uh, oh so gross.
The fucking people gambling. I hate gambling and people and
(44:52):
uh and gambling and people together.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Yeah, and people, but gamblers and people that you would
find in a if you see him one on one,
they're great. I love a solo gambler outside of Vegas
when he's not on the clock. Yeah, yeah, let's hang out. Sure,
that's yeah, That's why I don't thrive in Vegas. I'm
(45:15):
not a gambler. I do not seek to employ the
lady at the evening. Why am I here to breathe
recycled elevator air?
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yeah, I mean it is a great chance to smoke.
If you're not gonna take that opportunity at home. Exactly,
you get away, you secretly smoke, you know, Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Don't even have to smoke. You just go into the
casino and you're smoking. Yeah right right, you are a
cruise ship. I swung by the smoking casino just to
get a small taste of cancer. And let me tell you, buddy,
nothing nothing brings back the memories for me. It's some cancer,
(45:59):
Yeah it is.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
It is funny sometimes if I'm in a car of
someone that smokes and they turn on the air conditioner,
I just think of my grandma, and it's a good
It's a nostalgic, like a like a dish of potpourris.
If old cigarettes are coming out, especially if we're in
a thunderbird, oh man, I kind.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Of like it. That's incredible.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
I like the smell of stale cigarette smoke that is
masked by some glade product.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Yeah, yes, it it like brings me.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
It's a good memory from childhood.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
I liked my mom lighting a cigarette and rolling up
the window at the gas station, so there was a
outside gas smell, there was the inside match smell, and
then there was like the first couple X sales of
smoke that also were kind of nice smelling before it.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
Really, here's what I love about that story. She's rolling
up the window to take care of you, and yet
she was smoking in the car. That's right. Yeah, it
was like I'm gonna savor, but not for the long run.
I'm gonna keep her from blowing up, but I'm still
gonna transmit three.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Dollars ethyl and then it's she's holding it in like
roll your wunder up.
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to lose you all once.
I'm going to lose you gradually, that's.
Speaker 4 (47:19):
Right later on.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Yeah, they didn't know. It's so weird to me. I
remember when they banned smoking in the nineties and I
was like, this is never gonna work. There's no way
it's ever gonna work. And now it's like absolutely unheard of, unthinkable.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
Yeah, you really don't. I really actually don't smell cigarettes
much at all. No, unless unless I go through that,
cause you know, there's I never come up against it.
Speaker 4 (47:47):
Yeah, it's really weird.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
Yeah. There's still that section in the Salt Lake City
Airport where it's like a glass it's just a human
aquarium of smokers. Yeah, and they're in there like exhibit
and you can just stare at them and they feel like,
you know, they're trying to hide, but there's nothing to
hide from. They're like embarrassed. It's really an interesting experiment.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like looking at the dinosaurs in the museum,
except it's a live smoking exhibit. Yeah. Have you seen
live smoking like you can trade your kids and look,
this is smoking. A lot of us used to do it.
You may choose to do it, but it's not that popular.
That's why it's behind glass.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
They should bring actors there because no one knows how
to hold a cigarette anymore because it's so few people
do it.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Isn't it crazy when you watch movies and you're like,
you haven't smoked.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah, it's the people that hold it like there, it's
a mannequin handy just like holding.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
It like that.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
It's like, no, yeah, it's funny. I remember being a
smoker and having friends that smoked, and when I quit,
all of a sudden, my sense of smell came back.
But times three I had a superhuman sense of smell,
and that's why I realized all my friends had really
bad breath from And that's why it wasn't the urge
(49:07):
to hey can I bum one? It's do you floss
with copper? Why is there a metalla? Why is it
your breath smells like pennies? Like like a health hazard.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
That seems like stressed speaking whish? Did you know today
is the minting of the very last penny?
Speaker 3 (49:24):
No, yeah, you're kidding.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
No, the last penny was minted today. Oh no, they
cost three cents to make. And then that's funny.
Speaker 2 (49:34):
If they fixed that, they can they can give us
snap benefits back.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
And yeah, they took care that well. Yeah, and apparently
according to a survey that I read yesterday, Jen, what
is it? Why and z are they? Yeah? Yeah, they
find actual money.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
Cringe cash cash is cringe.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
Cash is cringe cap If you we had a dirty dollar,
dirty dollar bill in your fucking hand, you're greasy.
Speaker 4 (50:06):
Do not let Rick Ross hear you saying that.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
If you think about it, it is horrifying that we
just have money. Oh let me, I'll pay you. Oh
let me get from where you put in in your
mouth for a second. We don't know where that money
has been the last twelve years.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
It's never cleaned unless you go to a really nice hotel.
I remember there was a very long on the news,
kind of like end of news report, Greg, what was
that hotel in San Francisco that had the super modern
interior that was like tiered with plants?
Speaker 4 (50:41):
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2 (50:44):
And it was it was like you saw that the
levels where the rooms were all the way up and
there was a big elevator situation.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Yeah, they shot high anxiety. Oh no, books, how anxiety
was in that?
Speaker 2 (51:03):
Yes, anyway, I just saw I remember seeing a long
news piece about how they used to wash the change
so you would have sparkling clean quarters, dime snickels if
you used money at that hotel.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
I wonder how this is going to affect my vast
coin collection.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
Well, all those pennies are going to go way up
in value.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah, oh okay, Yeah, they're like your They're like your hip. Yeah,
out of out of print.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Yeah, just a rare a rare b side of a hip.
Speaker 1 (51:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:38):
Are they really made of copper? Still?
Speaker 1 (51:41):
I don't know. I think part copper. Yeah, I think
it's not all copper.
Speaker 4 (51:44):
Not the way they used to be.
Speaker 3 (51:45):
Yeah, to get the good to eat them?
Speaker 2 (51:48):
Yeah, yeah, like vitamin every day.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
You guys thinking of chocolate coins if I love chocolate coins, yeah,
I just you know, anytime I get it, people get
the wrong insion. When I break into a house and
steal all the copper pipes, they accuse me of drug addiction.
I just love old school copper.
Speaker 4 (52:09):
You just love the taste, and oh I.
Speaker 3 (52:11):
Love licking those pipes. It brings it to me. It
makes my breath smell like my old friends.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Yeah, reminds me of the old days.
Speaker 4 (52:21):
Greg.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Is there anything you want to promote or you know,
talk about as a final topic on your appearance topic?
Speaker 1 (52:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
Yeah, it has to be conclusionary.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Yes, please this thing.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
Yes, it's on you. Everything we've talked about that's to
come full circle.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
Yeah, just kidding.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Let's talk about John Featherman and the shutdown. Could there
be a worse guy?
Speaker 2 (52:49):
Just do you think he's a body double?
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Here's here's my impersonation of John Fetterman. I just had
this sweatshirt.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
There.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
It is dead on, dead on is this sweatshirt? I
am embarrassed that when you say Fetterman, I just thought
of a tennis player or Britney Spears as X. I
don't know. There's one guy.
Speaker 4 (53:14):
The really gigantic guy from Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Oh yeah, I know that guy with the with the
goatee and the sweatshirt.
Speaker 5 (53:21):
And he was going to be the future of like
liberal you know, social right, uh Dosrocy, And then he
weirdly did a body double switch and now he's kind
of like okay.
Speaker 3 (53:33):
I was very confused the one video. I'm like, oh,
I remember that guy from a few years ago, and
it said Democrat at the bottom, but then he said
very thanks contrary to that.
Speaker 1 (53:46):
Yeah, yes, it's weird.
Speaker 3 (53:48):
But what if what they have to do with the shutdown?
He's like, good, I hope they he was.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
One of the eight guys that voted, and the shutdown
that's conceding our position on the credits and not cool.
So our insurance just went up.
Speaker 2 (54:04):
Yeah right, Oh, your lights aren't un.
Speaker 3 (54:06):
Sir, okay, but his tail lights are. I still don't
know how people pull that one off. I just I
don't like the front lights. Can I just turn those off?
Speaker 1 (54:17):
That's yeah? Yeah, that is one right there.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
That's one right here.
Speaker 3 (54:23):
Yeah, I am looking full circling.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
It's an off Romeo.
Speaker 4 (54:27):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (54:28):
Yeah, it doesn't meaningless? Who cares if there's an actual
it's an off of Romeo. If you have the sports
car version of a car, that's cool. If you have
the suv of a very famous sports car brand, yeah,
you blew it. You bought the wrong car. That's not
(54:48):
the car they make, that's not what they're known for.
You blew it. I had I was parked next to
guys today in a Maserati suv and I'm like, we're
the two dumbest idiots I've given their money to Italians.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
I want to pay the price. I just don't like
people to drive what they're doing to watch me pass?
Speaker 1 (55:09):
Can it?
Speaker 3 (55:10):
Is there anywhere I can look like a Spectra?
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Yeah? Please.
Speaker 3 (55:17):
I don't want the lines and the sportiness to distract others,
but I do want to pay the price.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
You know what I like about this, But then I
also don't know I will like about it then when
I see hugs O ye right, yeah, I just get
out of the car.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
I have not even seen your face.
Speaker 1 (55:38):
I I'm so grateful that you asked me to do this.
Tell you something, I've done two podcasts in the last
six months with my four favorite comedians in the world.
You too, Loura Kaylier and Tony Kamen. No. Yeah, can
you imagine just that show, just those four people, you
(55:59):
would have not you would want for nothing else. You
wouldn't even need to see stand up again. It's true,
you would have been done perfectly. I watched all your clips.
By the way, Chris, Oh you know what, fan, I
always write stuff.
Speaker 2 (56:10):
How about the one where he tricked people into giving
the zig hyle in the middle of his show are one.
Speaker 4 (56:15):
Of the best ones he tricked them all into.
Speaker 3 (56:18):
And the funny product of that is I really am
taking photos. I really do have a bunch of photos
of people doing that.
Speaker 1 (56:25):
I saw an early screening of Nuremberg last night. Let
me tell you what that should be called. Remy Mallick
cigarette acting school.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
That flat hands or curved, curved, curved.
Speaker 1 (56:38):
But he smokes so much you can tell that. He
like goes, I'm gonna smoke, blowout, turn my head. Oh yeah,
It's just it never stops, and he never stops smoking.
It's also one of those movies where people go, we've
got a big problem, and then the next scene is
it's no problem.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
Don't worry about that problem.
Speaker 1 (56:57):
The problem solved.
Speaker 3 (57:00):
I'm gonna call you and uh talk about some things
we didn't talk on the podcast about.
Speaker 1 (57:07):
I love that. It sounds like it.
Speaker 3 (57:09):
Yeah, very rude, I mean, very rude. Way to end,
No person, I just wanted I was very excited to
see you.
Speaker 1 (57:16):
But may I said, you would like to see you
both at sometimes?
Speaker 4 (57:18):
Yes, I would love that too.
Speaker 1 (57:19):
That will make that happen.
Speaker 3 (57:20):
That's the time I talk I didn't mean unfinished business
more personal. I'm happy to see you. I love you,
but I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
I love you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (57:30):
Good to see you.
Speaker 1 (57:32):
Awesome. Don't look at my face.
Speaker 3 (57:39):
You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? That
was nice? Should we RecA?
Speaker 1 (57:43):
It was nice? D y n al R.
Speaker 3 (57:53):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (57:56):
Our senior producer is Analie Snelson.
Speaker 3 (57:59):
Mixed Edson Choy.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.
Speaker 3 (58:03):
Theme song by Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar Podcast.
Speaker 3 (58:14):
For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 2 (58:17):
Thank you, Oh You're welcome
Are you leaving?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want
to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim
and give us time and a terminol.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
And gaye ad.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We want to send you off in style. We wanna
welcome you back home. Tell us all about every scared her?
Was it fine? Mal porn? Do you need to ride?
(00:51):
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do your need to ride?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need ride?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
This is Chris Fairban and this is Karen Kilgaroff.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
We were driving. We were finishing the last episode. If
you listen to them in order, this is going to
be seamless.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You won't believe what just happened. It's never happened on
the show before.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
We were stumbling to try and find a through line.
I talk too much about birds and Butte Montana and
killing birds. Both we were and now we've been distracted
because we were so excited to catch up with and
rekindle our love, not that it was on the rocks.
I said that wrong with today's guest. You know clubs
(01:52):
in colleges, everyone put your ears together for great Baron.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Please Hi Greg Barrett, Hey, hello, hello.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
We actually he was walking on the street. Were you not?
You found parking?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I just I just found a space, and quite organically.
I didn't expect you to pull up in a cyber truck.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
It was weird, so you have to understand my alert.
First we were why are you stopping for me? Yeah? Yeah,
and I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I'm sorry. I put a burlap sack over your head.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
We just needed you to get in here.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, and I was very excited to kidnap you. Thank
you for Yeah, do you want to?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Just look everywhere but at other people's eyes, so we
don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Greg. How are you?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
You're good? Yeah, very good.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I mean nothing? Really, I mean I mean nothing and everything.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
You know, we haven't seen you. When we did that
live show that was like two thousand and seventeen, was
the podfast, right, some kind of a fast and we
were assigning each other's joke. There was a really fun episode.
(03:15):
We decided that that was going to be the theme
of the or at least a segment where you make
someone do a joke that you remember them saying. We
never did it again, though, that's only a Greg Baron's special,
and we aren't going to do that again. I'm not saying, hey,
do some of your old jokes. It would be terrible.
(03:36):
It was terrible to do then be terrible now.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
But what but what.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Would happen if you saw spider mandaying out? I mean,
just for example of what you're not going to do, I.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Mean, if he was just leaning up against the wall with.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah leg yeah, I think I did that exact thing
last time I made the joke.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I would solicit him for prostitution, because that is the
old chicken hawkway of getting work.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Really, it's what we do while we're here, Greg, do
you need a coffee or to go to a drive
through of any kind.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Or have a coffee? I brought a coffee, great, Yeah,
I'm good, Thank you though yeah yeah yeah good. So
it's rude to bring your own coffee as though you're
assuming you won't be gifted it or right, do you
know what I mean? Yeah? Is it like? Oh, no,
I better?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm always like got, I have to get covered. I
will not rely on the kindness of strangers, yeah yeah,
or good friends even yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
At the beginning of the last episode, I apologized publicly
Karen for showing up with a coffee only for me
and not one for her, knowing that she probably also
wants one. Yeah, of course you gotta get the cardboard
hold her.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, it's too hard to get a cardboard hold.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Well, then I gotta put put the state belt around
it so it doesn't spill, you know, I like to
keep my interior coffee stained free. Since twenty seventeen, what
kind of hip did you get?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Would you get a new hip?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah? Yeah I did.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Do you want to tell us all about it or not?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Wait?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
What's the model?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I don't you know? It's a t R fourteen. Okay,
I made a mistake because the fifteens came out like
the day after. Yeah, and they've got a phone in them.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Yeah, you had the hip that So he's trying to
kill Sarah Connor.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yes, yeah, you shouldn't have gotten that one.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah, mine is discontinued. They're like, turns out cobalt should
not be in a human body. It makes people's eyeballs
and brains act funny, but not mine. It's been great,
but you can't get it anymore. So I had a
limited drop release. Oh, well, yeah, my hip's like a
(05:46):
T shirt. It supreme. But you got a full hip replacement, right,
I got a full Hi. Yeah, because during that live show,
I think I tried to run around the theater and
then I was like, oh, was too soon for that.
I should not have run.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, I haven't run since. I mean, I can't. I
can I opt not to. Didn't they used to the
hip as an excuse? Did they?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Did they tell you not to run?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
They said I probably wouldn't be able to run, right, Okay, yeah,
they were like running probably cycling treadmills, you know that
kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
And then they said you have to be a swimmer,
didn't they? I don't think they mentioned Mike Guy was
pushing swimming on me hard.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Greg.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
They just said, sit down, Yeah, you just take a
load off. Relax.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Second, I wish they had given you what are you
supposed to do with your body? Just get it? Get
a comfy chair. Yeah, oh come on.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, no they I mean I ride the I have
a peloton, not a brag. Most will be going out
of business soon, but that's gonna be a fun thing
that's going to go away. I think pelotons, Yeah, the
peloton and the Peloton instructor and the and you're getting
the Peloton mixed on your phone and yeah, no, it's
(07:06):
all because I think it's just going to go away.
I think people are are happy to cycle on their
own and.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Maybe can't afford in New York.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I think they had some really good unpaid advertising with
the Palisades and Altadena fires. Every single house would be
just a pile of bricks and nails, and there's a
perfect Peloton bike. They do not melt. I saw so
many Peloton bikes next to a chimney, the only things standing.
(07:45):
These things. I'm not kidding. They must be made of
cobalt because they don't melt.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
They took a hit when Big from Sex in the
City drop dead after peloton. Oh you're kidding, Yeah, a
peloton and then he died in the shower, which is
where the show should have gone. Chris yeah, Chris nov Yeah,
because they realized, oh, he's just he's a pig. So
he had a heart attack on a peloton and off
(08:12):
she went with the actor or the character well both,
Oh really it's gone yeah really yeah, Oh.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
The show killed the actor. Once the character was dead.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
They had the power to kill the actors.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yeah, that was in his contract.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
He didn't realize there is really the one who says
she's been in television long enough that that provision is
in her contract.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Did they get in trouble because they killed him on
a peloton?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, there was a little bit of a like a backlasher.
I mean there's a backlash for everything now, so it
doesn't really matter. I mean that's we're not all Sydney Sweeney.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, that was ridiculous. We all know she was wearing jeans.
Oh the pip It was a play on words. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
It was a play on white suprema. See strange move
for twenty twelve.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh sure, I'll do your commercial, but I have a
few rewrites. Yeah, the slogans.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Can we work eugenics into it?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Because I just have these ideas?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, I feel like ideas, But it's eugenics, the testosterone
pill that all these seventy year olds like golf with
keep pitching.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Now, eugenics is the whitening of America.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Oh weird. Yeah, Well, there's also a pill you can
take called eugenics that makes how we Long and some
other baseball players able to perform again. Oh wow, both
sexually and on the golf course.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
It's like when I watch I'm visiting my dad and
I'm watching commercials for the first time in years because
he has traditional cable. Right, there's a lot of you know,
it's like way long.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
The new I've fallen and can't get up is are
you Are you having trouble getting a rock hardwen?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Yeah, there's so many ways now to get hard and
to lose weight at the same time.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Right, And this was I think more than anything. Yeah,
it's like talking about gut health and your and your whatever,
your body's ability to eat fat whatever. They call that. Yeah,
and for some reason it's called eugenics. But that's a
bad word.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah. Well, I think it's not eugenics. I think it's
like eugenics.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Oh okay, okay, there's.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Probably an i X at the end, because they love
to do that with pills.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Oh yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Then something else, because eugenics would be really problematic if
they named a pill that yes, and the.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
White guys advertising, yeah yeah, and the.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Eugenics yes is an ex at the end.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Nugenics sounds even more like a race cleansing thing.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Yeah, it's a problem either way.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
It's a problem.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Greg.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Have you gotten this cold that everyone has?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And I just not yet. But I've been abroad well,
right after the pandemic. I was a man who needed
a job and a friend of mine works on a
cruise ship ooh and said, hey, you should send your
stuff to my agent. You know, it's not like it
(11:28):
used to be. There's comedy clubs on the boat.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
You're not going to host bingo.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Right, you don't have to do clean show. Yeah, you
don't have to do you know, you just have to
do comedy. Yeah, only for twenty minutes really, and with another.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Guy, and you get to see the world.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
The boat part way to Italy three times this summer. Whoa,
my gosh. Yeah, so it just started. I just started.
And the money is better than I was being paid
in the clubs.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, isn't that funny?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah? And I don't have to sell tick. I love it, right,
it's a I mean, it's weird, but it comes with
a pretty heavy price tag because you know how people
feel about cruised comedy, right, So it's sort of like
oh wow. But then I'm like, well, I just want
my kids to get through college, right and then and
(12:20):
then when I'm home, I'm just with a mirror of
fostering dogs, which we've been doing since the fires. Oh,
which is the greatest thing I've ever.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
I love it. How many dogs are at your house
right now?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Right now? There's a mom and tupups from a hoarder
house in Kerrent County where there were forty dogs in
the backyard. So it's this Chihuahua mix little I mean
not really little, but small dog and her two really
tiny puppies. They just opened their eyes. They're only two
(12:55):
weeks old. Yeah, pretty great.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Are you nursing them with a bottle?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
And no, they're they're doing their own nursing.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Oh wow, that's right.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I mean I'm also nursing. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
No, do you bottle feed or we.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Don't have you We don't have to bottle feed these, right?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
I How many have you kept? Because I feel like.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I have kept any And that's the heartbreaking part of it.
A mirror is really good, Like, okay, time to give
them away, And I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Like, but we love them.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I fall in love every time. Yeah, and but so
like every other month we have a dog for four
to six weeks or two dogs or three puppies or whatever,
we've had a combination.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
But it's so great.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, dogs are so much better than people.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
They certainly are.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
They're worth the time. Yeah they are.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
They're great.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
They're worth the time, and they give back.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
That's what I was going to say. They really do.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
But you know what I was going to say about
how people feel about boat comedy.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
I don't think there is a like people anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I don't think there's like a held belief about like
the way we were so worried in the nineties and
two thousands about everybody else's opinion. Yeah, I think these
days people are like, you got a job, that's amazing, right.
I think that's truly, or at least that's how I feel.
But it's like anybody else where, it's like, yeah, go
(14:18):
get that fucking bag and do it in a way
that's fun. I don't think anybody's like judging that.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
No, I haven't really come up against that, but I
will say, like cruising is like traveling in a red state.
It's a very conservative form of travel.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It's but is it older folks stillar is it?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
It comes and goes? It depends on the price of
the ship. The more expensive the older. Oh, and the
longer the ship, the older because they have the time.
And then when you do like two three day cruises,
you're with young people, you know, who just want a party.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, and that's when you're like, I don't want to
do this anymore.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Well, yeah, I like old people. So I just stay
in my room and I listened to hardcore when I'm
in the hallway and I just walk past people. And
but I don't. But I mean, I love doing stand up.
I'm you know, it's still right, it's still it's it's
all new. There's no I haven't given up and I'm
(15:25):
just doing old bits or whatever, like you know, I
still take it seriously. Like if I was doing Largo,
I would do the same material that I would do
with Largo.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Yeah, oh yeah, I would assume that about you. You
don't have a second gear that you can default. No,
you will do stand up the way Greg Barrett does.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Although I would imagine that you have some great observations
about the buffet you got it.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I talk about how long the ship is, that's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
In numbers, like you tell the people.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I'm like you know how long? Like, I mean how long?
Like the the ship is problematically long? Okay, right, I
do you have any joke?
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Because when I was on a cruise, I wrote down
a lot of things, mostly feeling uncomfortable about them parking
on what appeared to be a coral reef and just idling.
And then people that live in that community were made
to come out and dance and welcome a bunch of
white people getting off about Oh I don't like I
(16:30):
That's that's what I was. I didn't like the arrival
to a to a land.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
No. And like in the Bahamas, most of the ports
are pretty crusty, they're not great, right, and and there's
a lot of poverty. I mean, cruising is for people
that don't really want to leave America, right. They come
home to America like they're like, okay, well we did
(16:59):
a day on the each and now I need to
get back to like a musical, you know, like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
They're not getting into the local culture.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Not really.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
No, you risk being left behind in the sou I
went because, like you said, it was like there was
tanks there and guys with machine guns, and I asked someone,
can I just go explore around and I once I
walked a couple blocks into a neighborhood. It was beautiful houses.
(17:33):
Everyone's washing their car. They're staring at me.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
I stopped.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
These kids were like painting a mural and I posed
in the photo with them. It's one of my favorite
photos because I was just watching them finish this this
painting and then they're like, do you want to be
in the picture with us. I had the best time,
but then I almost missed the boat. They will leave
your ass.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Oh yeah, yeah, you got to get on the boat.
They're not I mean the boats that are on the
largest boats in the world. Yeah, so there's six thousand guests.
Oh Jesus, two thousand people work on the boat. So
there's eight thousand people on the boat work for a
Royal Caribbean. That's they worked for Princess. But those are
(18:17):
just trips in Alaska and there are three days and
it's great money and then it's over.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
My parents both worked they met on Princess cruises. They
my mom was a nurse and my dad was a curser.
Oh you kidding, Yeah, Oh, that's amazing. We're cruising people
the weirdest way. Yeah, I mean my dad also.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Worked for the cruising people like here is like like.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I'm the heiress to the Princess Cruises fortune. God if
my parents had played their cards differently.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Every time you guys say cruising, I think of a
man pulling up with a curly mustache, going hey, looking
for a ride, And then I'll remember what happened.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Sure, when you have a day off, yeah, and you're
on the boat, Yeah, do you swim in that really
deep pool?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
No? I am. I don't like being wet. I never have.
Oh I don't love showers. I don't like being wet.
I like having my clothes on at all times. I'm
not a shirt off guy. No, So I won't publicly
take myself to the pool. That would that's a nightmare
for me. Okay, sometimes I walk up there one time.
(19:35):
One time. Oh my god, this is such a gross story.
So one time I'm on the ship and you do
a lot of shows. You do like two or three
shows at night, and you do it for a week,
and there's one day off. So I was on for
two weeks and the cruise director goes, Okay, well, I
guess I'll just see you one Wednesday. And I was like,
what do you mean. He goes, well, there's only one
(19:56):
show this week and it's Wednesday in the theater. And
I'm like why, and you go because it's a chartered cruise.
And I was like, oh, somebody's charted the cruise and
he goes yeah, and I go who And he told
me the name of the company. Well, it was a
fucking swingers cruise. But it was on one of the
big ships, so it was like four thousand swingers. Can
(20:20):
you imagine four thousand? Four thousand people average age fifty seven,
So it was just and it when I say, they
just throw mattresses on the floor. On the floor that
I was on, there are also offices or like a
little ballrooms, you know, like in hotels. They threw like
(20:43):
ten mattresses down, and then they had two guys with
a mop and a bucket and people were just fucking there.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Oh god, this is like that lobster thing.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
I went to, how is this allowed?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah? So the guy I was with, the guy who
was working with it, was a nice guy, but uh,
he was like, we gotta go see the people on
deck three fucking And I was like I no, no,
I'd rather walk in on a surgery, and and he
was like, no, you gotta go check it out. And
then I was talking to a mirror my wife on
(21:18):
the phone, and she goes, you know, seriously, Greg, just
get five more minutes, Just get a five minute bit
out of it. Go see it. And yeah, that's so
I went. And it was as bad as you can imagine.
It was all old people and as soon as they'd
be done, they'd run over, rip the sheets off the
mattress and throw them in a bucket and then get
(21:39):
another sheet down like they were.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Wait to save the DNA.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
It was like a pit stop. Oh my god, like yeah,
like I get the mattress, Get the mattress.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Sorry, that's why pit stop sound effect. It never makes
sense when I do it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
It sounded like a drill to It's a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
It's natica poor man's Michael Winslow. Uh, that is insane.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
It was so gross. So one day he was like,
let's go up top because it's clothed and optional at
the pool. And I'm like, you're not selling it to me.
So we went up and and it was sure enough
there were people half naked, all naked whatever and they
were doing a contest of who could make the best
(22:26):
orgasm sound with a kazoo. This is a true story, and.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Not during one of the orgies.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
During the middle of the day, like so they could
give away drink tickets. Oh god. And so there are
three women and the third woman takes the kazoo and
sticks it in her no, and the crowd went bananas.
And then she didn't even make a noise with her mouth.
And I think she I think she won.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Did she make a noise?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
The no, it doesn't work that way.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
No.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I don't know if you've spent any time with them,
but they don't necessarily.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well, I'm amazed since I've seen a ping pong ball
go about thirty feet. I'm kidding. I don't travel. I don't,
I've never I've only heard stories.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
But I will say it's one of the best stand
up shows I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
So for those people, yeah, they were, they were in
such a the vibe. I mean, I stayed in my
room the old time, like every time I saw people
that got depressed. And the weird thing is like when
you're on the ship sometimes kids are sort of a pain.
But then I really missed them because there were no
kids obviously on this trip, right, and I missed having
(23:48):
kids run up and down the hallways and push all
the elevator numbers and do all the stuff that they do.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I'm glad there was no kids on that boat.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I couldn't believe that you could get I didn't think
there were four thousand swingers in the country.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
There was.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
Do you remember that documentary?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Used to watch it in the two thousands and it
was called like American Something, and it was about swingers
in Orange County and it is It was one of
the grossest things I'd ever seen. Yeah, and we put
it on all the time, like Laura would put it on.
It was like that and that diapering movie that she
would always put on when she was drunk.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
To be like you guys.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
But it was not like there's nothing even slightly appealing
or attractive about it.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
No, it is weird. Yeah, it's really it's really unsexy. Yes,
I mean they're all into it.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
I got on the elevator and this one guy got
on and it was just a true of us and
he looked wrecked and he went, I don't know, and
I was like, yeah, hear, ye, I didn't know what
I was saying, Yeah, yeah, but I was like, yeah,
I hear you, but he was obviously you just wiped
out because it's seven days, so it's seven days of fucking.
(25:07):
And I'm like, man if I jerk off twice a week,
I started thinking about going to a second on the street.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah, yeah, that, yeah, I could see. You know what
bothers me the most about the whole thing is cruise
ships in general are the whole time I'm on them,
I'm I'm realizing you're there's sewage, you're a floating porta potty.
So to add uh intimacy, Like I'm all the horror stories,
(25:38):
I'm always worried that there's going to be a leak
or you know, I've seen documentaries where it's like somehow
the sewage is coming down the elevator shaft.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Yep, that was Royal. Yeah it is.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
That's what I think of, and uh, it makes me
not want to hang a pineapple on the door and
start winking at other companies, go do they have to pineapp?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I never knew that.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah, I would just think that that that booking that
cruise would be more of a carnival vibe than a
Royal Caribbean.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's what I thought too. But Royal Caribbean is not
above making a dollar.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
Okay, right, I mean who is who is?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You know? And and they have the room for it
on the ships that I go on, which are the
icon class. Uh, there's a skating rink, there's a there's
a park, there's a boardwalk, there's two malls.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Like a park with bushes.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
And yeah, there's a central park. It's called Central Park.
Oh you're meant to look like a mini Central Park?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Oh wow?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Does it feel park like or does it feel like
a weird installment?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
It feels like a weird installment, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Because it's kind of like three quarters the size, right,
I mean, of course not like park.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I'm I'm tricked even in Vegas, where it's like, I know,
that's not a big beautiful blue sky and that's not
real gold, but I love it. I don't know why,
because I.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Mean it's very much like Vegas. Like, yeah, people are
generally pretty nice. I have to say, like, the people
are pretty nice. It's just I don't, even though I
do this, I don't like a lot of people. I
mean I like a lot of people. I don't like
a lot of people at once, right, Right. I don't
like crowds, and I don't like I'm a big get
(27:34):
off the stage and get out of the club as
soon as possible person. I don't like to meet and greet.
I don't like to take photos, right, I like to
talk to people. I don't even like to when people
say they're coming to see me, I bum because I
don't want to hang out, because I like the experience
of going on stage and have that be a full thing,
(27:54):
and then when I'm done, go right, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
I mean, you probably go back to the days where
when I was opening for you and you would do
stand up, and then you had to talk to these
women holding the book but also wanting to talk to
you about their relationship, as if they didn't just watch
you do your stand up. It's like, I know that
(28:19):
you're also this is part of your gig, my husband,
and I see you be so patient with these these
women that and it was I wondered how you felt
about that, because the thing that was hard for.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Me was like knowing at the end that it wasn't
really a stand up crowd, right, and that they probably
weren't coming back, right, you know, I mean they had
their one experience, they got their books signed, of course
they you know, I mean I turned some of them
into stand up fans, but not enough. Otherwise I wouldn't
be doing cruise ships, right right, yeah. But I also
(28:54):
didn't mind because without the book, they wouldn't have been there,
so there would have been an empty room, so right,
right right. It was of a you know, kind of
a double edged thing. But I'm I'm grateful to not
talk to people about their relationships.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Well, it's an hour and a half after the show.
It's like taking for that line to because you want
to spend time and be and listen to people, but
it's like you can't get out and go back to
the hotel if you're if you're not going to be
rude and cut people off and just remember how long
you had to.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
And the clubs wanted you just you know to do that.
Oh okay, to sign books.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Or that's funny because I'm dealing with venues that are
like why are you still here? And I'm like, well,
I got I'm talking to people that like my podcast
and they're like, well, I guess I can stay late,
like they're mad at me. But it's a different It's
not like it's just a different situation when you're renting
(29:53):
a music venue or something.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yeah, when I had my podcast with Dave, I loved
when people came out, Yes, I love.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Those and they are fans of comedy and the.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Podcast fans were the best. Yes, they were, and they
loved the podcast and it had its own world as well,
so it was fun. I like that. I like that
very much, Yeah, very much.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Just not to go back to the swinging, but what
is Because I was wearing a pineapple on a hat,
a free hat. I think the pineapple was referencing the
way an alcohol was made. It was like a booze
hat that I got for free. And this couple came
up to me and they're like, pineapple huh, like winking
and whistling. I'm like, I have no idea what you're
(30:38):
talking about. And they're like, oh, well, you're wearing a
pineapple on your hat. We just thought you were a swinger.
That was how I was introduced to this. And then
I looked it up and apparently in the early days
of swinging, you hanging pineapple off of your porch light
or whatever. Were they hanging pineapples off their cruise ship doors.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah, there's there's pineapple stickers. Oh, then they put them
on and I think it's I think if they put
it upside down.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
That's so funny. Yeah, like a horseshoe. Otherwise it's bad luck.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah, that's right. You don't want the ruck lock to
run out.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Yeah, yeah, that's so I asked I was going out
on a limb because of course I've not been on
a swinging cruise ship, but now it sounds like I have.
But I assume there would be pineapple stickers.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Yeah. Yeah, No, there's pineapple sticks, and they're on regular
cruises as well.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Oh you're kidding.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah yeah, sometimes because cruise people they've got their own language,
and so people will let you know if they if
the cruise or not.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
That's so fun.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Some people just put Happy Birthday on their door.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
But yeah, yeah, Have you been on other themed cruise cruise?
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Is that one?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
No?
Speaker 1 (31:46):
But there's themes throughout the whole week. There's white Night,
there's seventies or eighties night where they all have wigs
and costumes and rainbow gear and disco. There's all kinds
of karaoke shamed situations. That's all what I expect in
(32:09):
the main theater there's full musicals, you know, like Mama Mia.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Oh, and that's fun.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
And stuff like that. And the kind of fun thing
is that last night you do the theater, you do
stand up in the theater and you do a different
set than you were doing in the main room. Oh
and that's like twelve hundred people. That's great, and that
that's kind of fun because when was I going to
work in the theater again, you know, So that's kind
(32:36):
of great.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
That's great. Now, I'd love it. Yeah, if you like
stand up and I do too, I like doing it
more than never.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Well, maybe I'll call there. I think his name was
Tony Rock or something. There was a guy that called
me about cruise ships, but he was so aggressive on
the phone. It made me. That's what scared me the most.
And like, I don't, I don't. I And it.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Depends on who you get with because a lot of
them are clean. A lot of them want you to
do forty five minutes. Yeah, yeah, three different forty five minutes.
That's like they have absurd asks. But the people I
work for don't And that's it. And I wouldn't do
I won't do the other ships. Okay, it just isn't.
It isn't. I'm I'm not there to make sure I
(33:18):
can do forty five minutes clean right right? Or kid friendly,
which doesn't make sense. There's no such thing as a
kid friendly. Stand up back you, I mean you are.
We're never that dirty.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
You just say fucking a lot like me, Like it's
just a word, you like it's a descriptive word.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Now I talk about things like the deodorant for your
asshole and stuff.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Sure, sure, but I don't that's relatable though.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
We're all using it, and it's about time.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
You will stand up and through storm out. I can't
believe he's suggesting this idea.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
That I often do myself. Yeah, using armpit, the odorant.
Get there. No one's talking about it, yeah, I that's
the first I've heard of it.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Are you still? I'm going to change the subject.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Are you still Greg living in the valley?
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Yeah? How is? How's it?
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Then?
Speaker 1 (34:16):
It's fine? So you know I like it. The girls
like it, you know both Like true has come and
has gone and come back from college? Wow? Right, she's uh,
she's now an assistant.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
At w oh wow.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, and she's on the She started in the mailroom
and now she is an assistant for an independent film
financing agent.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
That's great, and she's.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
She's doing that. She's trying to get into motion picture.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
It's the way to do it, and and mighty.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
At Berkeley By she's the comedy editor of the Daily Cow.
I love it, Yeah, And she writes comedy. She had
a really smart piece about the new women in comedy
and the new men, about how we're we're working our
way out of the manusphere. Oh well, talked to a
(35:11):
little bit like Chris Fleming and Kaylee Hearn.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
And that's amazing. They're just very clearly your daughters. I
love it. I haven't seen them since they're kids, and
so it's insane to me to imagine.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I know it's that wild.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Oh wow, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
But yeah, I still I still like Studio City.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Right, it's good enough. It's good, it's good enough. Is
it the greatest place I've ever lived? I wouldn't say so.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
Yeah, there's minuses, there's minuses. But we have a really
good Marshals.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Right, there's a good Yeah, there's a good Marshals.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Great skincare section.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, several large drug stores.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
There's Sprouts, there's friends are four different trader jos.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Yeah, each with a smaller parking lot.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah, yeah, to do you like the one with the
new one? I like the new underground parking lot one.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
Where's that?
Speaker 1 (36:09):
It's right across the street from the Westfield mall, and
it's right across the street from the other trader jokes.
It's exactly across the streets and that's right.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yeah. Nice.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
I'm There's a Sprouts that opened to day in my
neighborhood in Echo Park, and I have not yet gone.
There are balloons. I'm very excited.
Speaker 4 (36:34):
Get down there you can. They'll give you some green
grapes and a little paper cup.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
I bet really.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
I mean Sprouts is the beginning of gentrification, but you
look past that because it's Sprouts and the deli section
has been.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
But they must let it go.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
It's affordable.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Though it's happening. I really didn't start it. It's not
my fault. Yeah, I'm going to shop here.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it is it. It's truly what
is happening in my neighborhood since I moved there. I
didn't cause it, but I did move right at when
it started ramping up the gentrification in Echo Park, so I, uh,
but I become good friends with all my neighbors, so
I'm doing my part. Yeah, but I yeah, I'm very
(37:21):
excited for sprouts because groceries, I mean, need we talk
about how expensive they've gotten.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
All of it? Man?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
It's also it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Yeah, I needed a new place, and.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
That's why I'm bringing you both to this beautiful church.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Let's talk about God just kind of surprisingly. I mean,
as far as churches go, that one is inviting, right,
drop me off. I'm gonna Hella praise his name and glorious,
(37:57):
just praise it Lousanna in the highest. I don't know
if that's one of them. It's been a while.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
I think it is.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
When are you on? Do they call furlough when you're
on a break?
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I want to break. I go back out Saturday for
a couple of weeks.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
What do you recommend for travel?
Speaker 2 (38:17):
What are your travel tips or any products that you use?
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Oh? Interesting on the road, because I travel so much now,
it's insane how much traveling I've done. M hmmm. Because
I did three trips to Europe this summer, so wow.
I flew to Spain three times and sometimes through Turkey,
which doesn't make sense.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Oh, I want to go to Turkey.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah, I want to go to Turkey too. It looked
really good when we were there. And do you.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Get to experience these places get off the boat for
more than three hours?
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Or it?
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Does? It depend?
Speaker 1 (38:50):
It depends. In all the good places you have to
get on a bus for like two hours to see something,
now you know what I mean? Except for Yeah, except
for when you go to Napoli or Naples, right in Italy.
It's right there. You get off and you're there.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
That sounds great.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, And there's vaguely racist representations of Lewis Hamilton. Sure
now drives for Ferrari. But which is That's my thing
is F one I And during the pandemic, I went
deep and I haven't recovered.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Have you gone to Austin yet? No?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
I haven't gone. Yeah, I want to go. I wish
I was gonna try and go this year, but I
think I'm gonna go next year.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
If you know who's super into F one is John Travis.
You ever talked to John Travis about it?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
I haven't talked to John Travis in a million years,
but I think you Texan was telling me that, Yeah,
he loves it.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, Oh he's into it too, King.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
He's been into it since like we were in grammar school.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I got into it like it's funny. I didn't even
know about it. It's just every time I had shows
in Austin, I would show up during that week, assuming
I would get on hotels dot com and get a
room and that Why are they eight hundred dollars for
a room?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I know it.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
It's because it's a wealthy person spectator sport and it's
like going to Monterey during whatever US Open or something.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Oh wait, Greg, were you following up when they tried
to do it in Las Vegas and they fucked all
those things up so bad.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
And they they're still doing it, are they right? Yeah?
Last night Las Vegas hates it. And my mother in
law lives in Vegas. She didn't hate it, but she
wasn't directly. She lives sort of outside in summerland. But yeah, no,
it would be they just plopped down in the middle
of Las Vegas on the strip, turn it into a racetrack. Yeah,
shut down all the streets. I'd be bummed too. Yeah,
(40:50):
if I lived right there, you know, and.
Speaker 4 (40:52):
They were doing something.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
I just remember a story where they were doing some
sort of like test runs and the cars went so
fast that they were flipping an hole covers up.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Into the air.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Did signs car flipped the manhole cover into the bottom
of his own car and destroyed it. It's so dangerous.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
It's like from isn't that an episode of The Flintstones?
Speaker 1 (41:14):
I mean it does feel that way.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Just kicked it up, Yeah, yeah, of course. Well you
gotta when your break pads fail, you gotta go to
option B kick those off.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Yeah, it was. It was rough, but it's it turned
out to be one of the better. It's actually one
of the better race tracks. Oh, there's twenty four races
in a year. When Drive to Survive started, there was
only one American race, which was lostin And now there's
Vegas and Miami. So they picked two shed holes to
(41:47):
put their fucking race up in. The Miami one is
so fucking tacky and gross. But Miami, it's so Miami. Yeah, yeah,
it's so Jennifer Lopez with a parasol.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
But are they trying to be like the city starting
with an m is it?
Speaker 4 (42:07):
Mom? What am I thinking?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Monaco? Yes?
Speaker 4 (42:10):
Are they trying to do that.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Yeah, they're trying to, yes, exactly, except for that Monaco
is actually a beautiful and classy place. Yeah yeah, And
I mean Austin is cool. The Austin one's really cool. Yeah,
it've done really well.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
But they have a permanent track. It's the Circuit of
the Americas and it's not it's not a street track
the other ones. They put it in the middle of
the city.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Why I need to go there sometime when it's not happening.
I'm going there for New Year's Eve. I don't think
Formula one will be happening.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
No, are you performing there?
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Yeah? Yeah, Cap City Comedy Club you remember, But it's
not in Austin anymore.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
That that would be my if I lived there, this
would be my plans. Yeah, I'd come out and see you.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
It would be Yeah. It's an interesting the domain it's called.
It seems like a community surrounded by people that invested
in Dell when it was a publicly traded company. It's
people that didn't work at Dell but are millionaires because
of Dell. A lot of them live around. That was
the story I heard. So it's just Cap Cities in
(43:16):
a mall that's like the Grove and the Americana combined
very far from Austin, so I feel like I'm not
really there. And you felt that way with the Old
Cap City. It was far enough out of town that you, yeah,
it's but it is a pretty nice one stop shop.
(43:37):
It's kind of like a cruise ship, honestly, because I'm
not going to leave that area. Everything I need is there, yeah,
of course, and then I you know, I love it.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
I've been to a couple of clubs that I've been
in Americana style walls and you're loving it. There's a
theater there usually it's nice.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Just where it's like, here's a restaurant like katsu yah.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Yeah, right, go to the.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Movies, go to Sephora. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
Yeah, like we did and wherever in Florida when there's
a hard rock cafe and we did that improv and
now when you're pale Laramie Dean and went to a
movie and then oh yeah, and uh I uh chewed
it just about every night right before you uh you
look good and then you go outside and just h
(44:21):
Dennis Rodman was freestyle rapping with a Tejano band. Oh Florida,
why are you being so florida Ish.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
First off, neither of us did great, and those clubs
were just filled with people that were like, they didn't
care who was on stage. They went to see comedy, right, Yeah.
I loved and hated that place because uh, oh so gross.
The fucking people gambling. I hate gambling and people and
(44:52):
uh and gambling and people together.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Yeah, and people, but gamblers and people that you would
find in a if you see him one on one,
they're great. I love a solo gambler outside of Vegas
when he's not on the clock. Yeah, yeah, let's hang out. Sure,
that's yeah, That's why I don't thrive in Vegas. I'm
(45:15):
not a gambler. I do not seek to employ the
lady at the evening. Why am I here to breathe
recycled elevator air?
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yeah, I mean it is a great chance to smoke.
If you're not gonna take that opportunity at home. Exactly,
you get away, you secretly smoke, you know, Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Don't even have to smoke. You just go into the
casino and you're smoking. Yeah right right, you are a
cruise ship. I swung by the smoking casino just to
get a small taste of cancer. And let me tell you, buddy,
nothing nothing brings back the memories for me. It's some cancer,
(45:59):
Yeah it is.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
It is funny sometimes if I'm in a car of
someone that smokes and they turn on the air conditioner,
I just think of my grandma, and it's a good
It's a nostalgic, like a like a dish of potpourris.
If old cigarettes are coming out, especially if we're in
a thunderbird, oh man, I kind.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Of like it. That's incredible.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
I like the smell of stale cigarette smoke that is
masked by some glade product.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Yeah, yes, it it like brings me.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
It's a good memory from childhood.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
I liked my mom lighting a cigarette and rolling up
the window at the gas station, so there was a
outside gas smell, there was the inside match smell, and
then there was like the first couple X sales of
smoke that also were kind of nice smelling before it.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
Really, here's what I love about that story. She's rolling
up the window to take care of you, and yet
she was smoking in the car. That's right. Yeah, it
was like I'm gonna savor, but not for the long run.
I'm gonna keep her from blowing up, but I'm still
gonna transmit three.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Dollars ethyl and then it's she's holding it in like
roll your wunder up.
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to lose you all once.
I'm going to lose you gradually, that's.
Speaker 4 (47:19):
Right later on.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Yeah, they didn't know. It's so weird to me. I
remember when they banned smoking in the nineties and I
was like, this is never gonna work. There's no way
it's ever gonna work. And now it's like absolutely unheard of, unthinkable.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
Yeah, you really don't. I really actually don't smell cigarettes
much at all. No, unless unless I go through that,
cause you know, there's I never come up against it.
Speaker 4 (47:47):
Yeah, it's really weird.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
Yeah. There's still that section in the Salt Lake City
Airport where it's like a glass it's just a human
aquarium of smokers. Yeah, and they're in there like exhibit
and you can just stare at them and they feel like,
you know, they're trying to hide, but there's nothing to
hide from. They're like embarrassed. It's really an interesting experiment.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like looking at the dinosaurs in the museum,
except it's a live smoking exhibit. Yeah. Have you seen
live smoking like you can trade your kids and look,
this is smoking. A lot of us used to do it.
You may choose to do it, but it's not that popular.
That's why it's behind glass.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
They should bring actors there because no one knows how
to hold a cigarette anymore because it's so few people
do it.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Isn't it crazy when you watch movies and you're like,
you haven't smoked.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah, it's the people that hold it like there, it's
a mannequin handy just like holding.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
It like that.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
It's like, no, yeah, it's funny. I remember being a
smoker and having friends that smoked, and when I quit,
all of a sudden, my sense of smell came back.
But times three I had a superhuman sense of smell,
and that's why I realized all my friends had really
bad breath from And that's why it wasn't the urge
(49:07):
to hey can I bum one? It's do you floss
with copper? Why is there a metalla? Why is it
your breath smells like pennies? Like like a health hazard.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
That seems like stressed speaking whish? Did you know today
is the minting of the very last penny?
Speaker 3 (49:24):
No, yeah, you're kidding.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
No, the last penny was minted today. Oh no, they
cost three cents to make. And then that's funny.
Speaker 2 (49:34):
If they fixed that, they can they can give us
snap benefits back.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
And yeah, they took care that well. Yeah, and apparently
according to a survey that I read yesterday, Jen, what
is it? Why and z are they? Yeah? Yeah, they
find actual money.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
Cringe cash cash is cringe.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
Cash is cringe cap If you we had a dirty dollar,
dirty dollar bill in your fucking hand, you're greasy.
Speaker 4 (50:06):
Do not let Rick Ross hear you saying that.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
If you think about it, it is horrifying that we
just have money. Oh let me, I'll pay you. Oh
let me get from where you put in in your
mouth for a second. We don't know where that money
has been the last twelve years.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
It's never cleaned unless you go to a really nice hotel.
I remember there was a very long on the news,
kind of like end of news report, Greg, what was
that hotel in San Francisco that had the super modern
interior that was like tiered with plants?
Speaker 4 (50:41):
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2 (50:44):
And it was it was like you saw that the
levels where the rooms were all the way up and
there was a big elevator situation.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Yeah, they shot high anxiety. Oh no, books, how anxiety
was in that?
Speaker 2 (51:03):
Yes, anyway, I just saw I remember seeing a long
news piece about how they used to wash the change
so you would have sparkling clean quarters, dime snickels if
you used money at that hotel.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
I wonder how this is going to affect my vast
coin collection.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
Well, all those pennies are going to go way up
in value.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah, oh okay, Yeah, they're like your They're like your hip. Yeah,
out of out of print.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Yeah, just a rare a rare b side of a hip.
Speaker 1 (51:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:38):
Are they really made of copper? Still?
Speaker 1 (51:41):
I don't know. I think part copper. Yeah, I think
it's not all copper.
Speaker 4 (51:44):
Not the way they used to be.
Speaker 3 (51:45):
Yeah, to get the good to eat them?
Speaker 2 (51:48):
Yeah, yeah, like vitamin every day.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
You guys thinking of chocolate coins if I love chocolate coins, yeah,
I just you know, anytime I get it, people get
the wrong insion. When I break into a house and
steal all the copper pipes, they accuse me of drug addiction.
I just love old school copper.
Speaker 4 (52:09):
You just love the taste, and oh I.
Speaker 3 (52:11):
Love licking those pipes. It brings it to me. It
makes my breath smell like my old friends.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Yeah, reminds me of the old days.
Speaker 4 (52:21):
Greg.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Is there anything you want to promote or you know,
talk about as a final topic on your appearance topic?
Speaker 1 (52:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
Yeah, it has to be conclusionary.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Yes, please this thing.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
Yes, it's on you. Everything we've talked about that's to
come full circle.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
Yeah, just kidding.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Let's talk about John Featherman and the shutdown. Could there
be a worse guy?
Speaker 2 (52:49):
Just do you think he's a body double?
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Here's here's my impersonation of John Fetterman. I just had
this sweatshirt.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
There.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
It is dead on, dead on is this sweatshirt? I
am embarrassed that when you say Fetterman, I just thought
of a tennis player or Britney Spears as X. I
don't know. There's one guy.
Speaker 4 (53:14):
The really gigantic guy from Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Oh yeah, I know that guy with the with the
goatee and the sweatshirt.
Speaker 5 (53:21):
And he was going to be the future of like
liberal you know, social right, uh Dosrocy, And then he
weirdly did a body double switch and now he's kind
of like okay.
Speaker 3 (53:33):
I was very confused the one video. I'm like, oh,
I remember that guy from a few years ago, and
it said Democrat at the bottom, but then he said
very thanks contrary to that.
Speaker 1 (53:46):
Yeah, yes, it's weird.
Speaker 3 (53:48):
But what if what they have to do with the shutdown?
He's like, good, I hope they he was.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
One of the eight guys that voted, and the shutdown
that's conceding our position on the credits and not cool.
So our insurance just went up.
Speaker 2 (54:04):
Yeah right, Oh, your lights aren't un.
Speaker 3 (54:06):
Sir, okay, but his tail lights are. I still don't
know how people pull that one off. I just I
don't like the front lights. Can I just turn those off?
Speaker 1 (54:17):
That's yeah? Yeah, that is one right there.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
That's one right here.
Speaker 3 (54:23):
Yeah, I am looking full circling.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
It's an off Romeo.
Speaker 4 (54:27):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (54:28):
Yeah, it doesn't meaningless? Who cares if there's an actual
it's an off of Romeo. If you have the sports
car version of a car, that's cool. If you have
the suv of a very famous sports car brand, yeah,
you blew it. You bought the wrong car. That's not
(54:48):
the car they make, that's not what they're known for.
You blew it. I had I was parked next to
guys today in a Maserati suv and I'm like, we're
the two dumbest idiots I've given their money to Italians.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
I want to pay the price. I just don't like
people to drive what they're doing to watch me pass?
Speaker 1 (55:09):
Can it?
Speaker 3 (55:10):
Is there anywhere I can look like a Spectra?
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Yeah? Please.
Speaker 3 (55:17):
I don't want the lines and the sportiness to distract others,
but I do want to pay the price.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
You know what I like about this, But then I
also don't know I will like about it then when
I see hugs O ye right, yeah, I just get
out of the car.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
I have not even seen your face.
Speaker 1 (55:38):
I I'm so grateful that you asked me to do this.
Tell you something, I've done two podcasts in the last
six months with my four favorite comedians in the world.
You too, Loura Kaylier and Tony Kamen. No. Yeah, can
you imagine just that show, just those four people, you
(55:59):
would have not you would want for nothing else. You
wouldn't even need to see stand up again. It's true,
you would have been done perfectly. I watched all your clips.
By the way, Chris, Oh you know what, fan, I
always write stuff.
Speaker 2 (56:10):
How about the one where he tricked people into giving
the zig hyle in the middle of his show are one.
Speaker 4 (56:15):
Of the best ones he tricked them all into.
Speaker 3 (56:18):
And the funny product of that is I really am
taking photos. I really do have a bunch of photos
of people doing that.
Speaker 1 (56:25):
I saw an early screening of Nuremberg last night. Let
me tell you what that should be called. Remy Mallick
cigarette acting school.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
That flat hands or curved, curved, curved.
Speaker 1 (56:38):
But he smokes so much you can tell that. He
like goes, I'm gonna smoke, blowout, turn my head. Oh yeah,
It's just it never stops, and he never stops smoking.
It's also one of those movies where people go, we've
got a big problem, and then the next scene is
it's no problem.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
Don't worry about that problem.
Speaker 1 (56:57):
The problem solved.
Speaker 3 (57:00):
I'm gonna call you and uh talk about some things
we didn't talk on the podcast about.
Speaker 1 (57:07):
I love that. It sounds like it.
Speaker 3 (57:09):
Yeah, very rude, I mean, very rude. Way to end,
No person, I just wanted I was very excited to
see you.
Speaker 1 (57:16):
But may I said, you would like to see you
both at sometimes?
Speaker 4 (57:18):
Yes, I would love that too.
Speaker 1 (57:19):
That will make that happen.
Speaker 3 (57:20):
That's the time I talk I didn't mean unfinished business
more personal. I'm happy to see you. I love you,
but I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
I love you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (57:30):
Good to see you.
Speaker 1 (57:32):
Awesome. Don't look at my face.
Speaker 3 (57:39):
You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? That
was nice? Should we RecA?
Speaker 1 (57:43):
It was nice? D y n al R.
Speaker 3 (57:53):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (57:56):
Our senior producer is Analie Snelson.
Speaker 3 (57:59):
Mixed Edson Choy.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.
Speaker 3 (58:03):
Theme song by Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar Podcast.
Speaker 3 (58:14):
For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 2 (58:17):
Thank you, Oh You're welcome
Hosts And Creators
Karen Kilgariff
Chris Fairbanks
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