S4 - Ep. 91 - Paul Danke

This week, Karen and Chris welcome comedian and musician Paul Danke to talk about disappointed dads, bathtub wine and more!

 

https://www.instagram.com/dynarpodcast/ 

https://twitter.com/DynarPodcast 

https://www.facebook.com/dynarpodcast/ 

 

Buy Merch! https://www.exactlyrightmedia.com/merch

 

Follow Paul Danke  –

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pauldanke/ 

Twitter - https://twitter.com/pauldanke

 

Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UMGNo5

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Are you leaving?

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I you wanna way back home?

Speaker 3 (00:06):
Either way, we want to be there.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
time and a termino and gage. We want to send
you off in style. We wanna welcome you back home.

Speaker 4 (00:27):
Tell us all about it.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need

(00:49):
to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
to ride? Do your need to ride?

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Ride with Karen and Chris. Welcome to Do you need
to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
This is Karen Tilgariff.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Karen, I've been so excited to ask you about your vacation.
Are you willing and give me details in top three
moments and top worst moment of your vacation?

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Well? Absolutely, I'm an open book. As you know.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
This vacation quote unquote was actually I was going up
to northern California to get a neck lift, so I
got plastic surgery, like at the very beginning of it,
which is like a it was like a ten hour surgery.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Hey, you look pretty good, thanks.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
I just had a bunch of grandma skin around here
and they just kind of went like, but you can't
do that.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
There's been any there's no bruising. There's a little bit
scar bruise.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
I just got some kind of I'm you know, I'm.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
So glad you didn't drive all the way up there
to get a necklace like I.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Just a single necklace and it's an Italian horn of plenty. Now,
I just kind of like, uh, didn't feel good and
then decided I was going to do it because who
fucking cares?

Speaker 2 (02:25):
I exactly. And now I think it's a safe place
to say I've been thinking about eyebrow microd what wait,
look how I have half an eyebrow? Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:35):
You want to get some painted in?

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Do you think? I? I yes, tempera. I think it's
almost like a tattoo. There's semi permanent and they do
little lines of hair and I think if I do that,
the cat food auditions will come rolling back. That's it.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
That's same here.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
That's just I think this is the one only thing
that I need to work on, and somebody else has
to work on it. That's the kind of toxic thinking
I've gotten into here in twenty twenty five.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Well, I'm proud that you got a necklift. I'm happy
that you are willing to openly talk about it.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
I'll answer any questions anyone has.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
I do have extra questions, but I feel like that
would make for another yet another clinical medical pot episode.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
Seriously, but I've never gotten any so I could do.
This could be mine.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Everyone gets it. People just don't talk about it. And
not only did you mention it to me, we have
a few listeners and I'm proud of you.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
Uh no, no, I meant it like I've never gotten
to have any episodes where I talked clinically.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Oh, so this is my big chance.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
I always want to up been I.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
Just want to No, no, no, it's just that I
usually don't have them. But now I'm like, hey, I
can talk about the drains that were hanging in the
side of my head wrap.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Drains drains, drains.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Like surgical tubing that was meant to drain fluids.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yes, it was so wow.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
It was the grossest and scariest and also once it
was done, no big deal. But I did think I
was going to die of Like I'm going to deserve
to die of vanity was one of my last thoughts.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
And then I woke up and I was like, this
was no big deal.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I had uh, and we will bring our guests
who's been patiently waiting in the back of.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
He's actually going a big chessure cat smile on his
face right now.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
He wants to be in this conversation.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Let's just bring him in. That explains the Hookah, okay,
you know today's gas from clubs in college circuit across
the country in Canada. Put your ears together for Paul Dankee.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Oh wow, what a great what a great intro. I
really appreciate it felt like I was doing stand up.
That was a full stand up intro.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Well.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
And also, this is one of the few people that
it's actually really true that he really does clubs and
maybe colleges, but I see his tiktoks.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
He's doing clubs all over this country.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
That's right.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Watch out. Yeah, you know yeah, And I can't wait
to do the rest of the country. I'm I'm here
for that most of them.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
And have you dipped your toes into Canada or am
I telling tales at a school?

Speaker 3 (05:14):
No, I've performed in Canada before, but I'll tell you,
let me tell you I've never done well.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Oh really, I've never.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
I go up there and you know, I just have
a weird kind of I guess, kind of a goofy
foot style, so to speak.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
And they go, what, they're all regular footers.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
They're all regular footers. And that's that's kind of how
comedy clubs in general can feel like that. But in
Canada in particular, I've only performed up there twice, but
I think as you know, word gets out about my tiktoks,
people will get, you know, accustomed to the weirdness that
I bring to the stage.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
You basically just truly talk.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
And sometimes I can tell it's like, oh, I know
you've said this bit before, But most of the time,
a true just does feel like you just got to
your apartment and you're kind of like making you making
the audience comfortable by being there real. It's just very
nice Potter and you recently did that riff about that.
The one thing you like about doing the same shows

(06:15):
around LA is that you can follow the plants and
the plants growth of the plants.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
That grow behind the stage.

Speaker 4 (06:21):
And then it just started talking about like you're actually
naming that plant.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
I was.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
It was hilarious.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Can I get was that? At Best Fish Talko? It
was I'm always talking about those plants.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
How could you not address those plants?

Speaker 3 (06:35):
I feel like I live in a time where, like
CrowdWork comedy is really popular, but I'm more of a
decor comedian. Yeah, you put me in a room, I
want to talk about the little idiosyncratic elements of the room.
And you know, I hate to say that it is
only interesting if you're in the room with me. It
rarely transs.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
It translated to talk to TikTok.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Though, that you did, that's good. Yeah, it has to
have the visuals. If it's an audio special, a macro
ma owl behind you, a lot of it will be lost.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
Yeah I did. It's on my last album. But I'll
sort of share a joke with you that I sort
of did at this one club that was very ragtag,
and it occurred to me that it's odd to try
to make this many people laugh sitting in different types
of chairs, like how it transforms your experience the type
of chair you're enjoying this in. And because they had

(07:33):
like couches and big couches, they had office chairs, they
had barstools, they had benches, and so I kept doing
this at all these shows and I realized, like some
of the seating in the year is really bizarre. And
the weirdest of all is bench seating. Oh, because you
suddenly realize and it points out you're sitting on the
same chair with twelve other people. Right, You're sitting on

(07:54):
the same chair with a bunch of strangers.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah, is hard. And I love Cap Citty. They started
my life in comedy. They've been the best. But the
first location had banquet style seating where they're at a
long table facing each other with their heads turned towards
the stage. So if they just relax and look at
the stranger across them, that's going to dictate whether or

(08:17):
not they're laughing. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:19):
Also, bench seating is just like church, which is not
good for comedy. I don't think unless it's like the
tension of you shouldn't be laughing, and there therefore it
makes you laugh more.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
You're right. They should just put pews in comedy clubs,
just to go all the way with that.

Speaker 4 (08:36):
Yeah, kneelers so that you really feel the pressure of
like this is serious, do not make a sound, and
then everything is hilarious.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
I'm surprised there isn't a very popular former church comedy
club that is set up that way.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
There was remember that one that people were doing sets
at in just past that McDonald's on Melrose and people
got high during the show, which is I think always
terrible for comedy.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Oh yeah, but it's like the theme is we're all
really high. Where's It's like? Okay? And I was there
one night.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
It was back when I was doing songs with Drennin
and we had to go like either second to last
or third to last. So there was truly like fifteen
acts on this show and everywhere was high murder. By
the end, I was like, what are you doing? You
are forty like at the time, forty nine years old, Like,
get the fuck home, stop doing comedy. Like I had

(09:32):
a full meltdown of like this is stop spending your
time like this.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Imagine wow and you listened, God, your genius.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
I couldn't do it anymore. That's for a certain sect
of a certain age range.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
I think, yeah, yeah, I suppose you're right. I did.
I did perform in a weed lounge last last year,
and I have performed in many a weed lounge over
the years. I think, Chris, thank you, and I did
one recently.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, one of your hookah shows. I just keep bringing
up hookahs.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
Okay, well yeah, way back in the day the comedy garage,
we did have two hookahs bolted to the coffee tables.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
You guys.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
People kept breaking them.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
And it was like picking them up and doing bits
with them.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
No, just you know, after the show people get cavalier
with glassware and you know, it's a big piece of glassware.
And it was in the era of octomom. If you
guys remember the Motherhood h so we we named it
Octo Hookah. It was really it was quite a side, oh,
because it had many a hose, had many a hose. Yeah,

(10:40):
it was yeah, of course, yeah, that was a big
part of the show back then.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, the one I it's interesting you bring up people
giggling uncontrollably because of religion. I had one of the
funnest shows I had was in upstate New York at
a all girls college. And no, it wasn't that one.
It was another one in a pub and there was a.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
Nun a what a swing a pub.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
On campus oh okay, okay, And they had a past
they were drinking and it was a religious school and
there was a nun upfront. And because the nun was
sitting up front in her nun clothing. I could not
stop talking about the nun and saying dirty things to
the nun, who, as you would expect, just had a

(11:31):
stern face. Sure, and everything about that sounds awful, but
it was so much fun because all the kids there
were like vicariously. I wish that I could say things
like this, yeah to sisters, sister Mercy.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
And it's I think that's a good idea. I think
that we should have nuns in the audience.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
A little some sort of way to get in trouble, yeah,
yeah something, or just someone disappointed dad. I mean, I
can always find those people when I'm on stage. I'm like, oh,
look at you can't crack a smile save your life.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh that's what I focus on. I noticed no one
that's enjoying them.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
So no, no, they're like they just fade away.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
Yeah, you have to work so hard not to and
I've never done it. That's why I like when the
lights are really bright and you don't have to see
anybody except the stern person in the front, and then
you really are just performing for them.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
Well.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
Also, I don't buy it from the stern person in front,
because that nun A could have worn some of polyas
or pants suit and not drawn all that attention. And
b it's like, why are you stern and in the front.
Get the fuck in the back if you don't like
it so much?

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Right up front, right up front with the big hat.
Yeah it's nighttime. Let your hair down. You're none all day.
I guess you got to take your work home with you.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
She's so so identified.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
But the terrible thing is, I feel like I could
tell in the nun's face was excited to see comedy.
And also I just wasn't her cup of tea, and
I wasn't being dirty. I was just thought so many
things were off limits. Right, here's another sex out of
wedlock joke, Like, yeah it is. I guess I thought

(13:16):
that one. But you know that even a nun is like,
oh I had a life before this, right they did? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (13:25):
Little It is fun just when there's anybody in the
room that you're not supposed to like, they just take
the whole focus because you're not supposed to talk about
them or address it. I just hosted a fundraiser for
my kids elementary school.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
Oh that's fun.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
It was what was fascinating It was just weird because
I didn't know most of the parents there, and uh,
you know, I I joked about my nemesis at the school.
How about how every parent has a nemesis at the school.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Did any of the teachers remember your nemesis?

Speaker 3 (13:59):
Yes? Any of them?

Speaker 2 (14:00):
All? That's great.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah, yeah, we've had we've had public beef, so.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Mom or dad, Mom? Yes, yeah, Paul, I knew it.
I knew you would be equal opportunity.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
I'll fight with the lady. She's horrible.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
She was horrible. There's some bad ones out there.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
And I've been joking about her. She like crept into
a joke and I just love it. And I was like,
I'm going to tell that joke. I can't wait. I
knew she wouldn't be there because she's a coward.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
But did it go?

Speaker 3 (14:33):
It went over well. And also like it went over
well and made people stir, you know it kind of
it gave I got a good, uncomfortable laugh, which I
don't usually go for. So it was really nice.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
You're now the Ricky Gervaise of that school.

Speaker 3 (14:47):
They're wondering who So people are asking around were your
kids in the audience. No, it's just for adults.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Oh that's great. Yeah, that's perfect.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
So they were all everyone was getting loaded, which was great.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
The principle was also there, who I have also had
large public beef with, so he may have thought I
was talking about him. I don't you know?

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Where are these beefs publicly? Like in according.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
I'll have them out loud, I will. I will make
a minor scene. I'm not above it. And sometimes you
just kind of have to. I hate to say, you
have to rattle some cages.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
And this is all based in you having your kids backs, right, Yeah?

Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, yeah, so I make No. I'm such an easy
going person that people assume I'll just kind of go along,
and then when I don't, they're awfully shocked and I
get so mad. Yeah, I have an insane temper. I
usually direct it pretty justly.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
But yeah, I don't think I've ever pulled it from you.
Your temper, No, it takes a lot.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
What sign are you?

Speaker 3 (15:57):
What do you guess?

Speaker 1 (15:59):
Are you Taurus? Are you a Scorpio?

Speaker 2 (16:04):
I know a Leo? When I smell one.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
I'll tell you what. I'm a Leo, cosp I'm a Virgo. Yeah,
oh I got a strong leo cosp Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
Yeah, well, you know, I don't put a lot of
knowledge of my brain into it, but I'm good at
guessing things.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
You did a good job for not knowing all I care.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yes, because my sister's a LEO and I get along
with her, and in this similar way, I get along
with you.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
My sister's a leo too, and I would.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Get along with her if I ever had the chance
to talk on the phone with her. Multiple times she's
called well podcasting.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
She loves to call it four.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
Pm exactly mid podcast.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
But she is and this I'm sure you're feeling this
joy as well. Now on summer vacation, hard earned. This
was a long year and she's finally on summer vacation.
So she is like, she's now calling me at one pm, yeah,
or whenever.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
You know.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
It's all these random times talking about watching TV shows.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
It's crazy.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah, yeah, my sisters too. It's it's summertime for teachers
and late night. When do you think of this comic?
Have you ever watched this movie? It's two am. I'm
trying to be responsible in going skateboarding at seven, please please, Lisa.
I have a whole day planned out and it's all
midlife Crisis base. Thanks, please support me, Please support me

(17:27):
in this please? Did you have to since was a fundraiser? Yeah,
I'm just guessing I have to host an auction.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
Yes, you have to do some of the auction.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
I'm on fire today.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
You got to indicate to the auction. But I made
no bones about it, and I told them I'm not
gonna excessively talk about it.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Did you do your auctioneer's voice? Because it's always no.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
No, I didn't have No. It's a silent auction. There's
too much dignity people for a vocal auction.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
It's tough, too.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
A moment of silence for this pinch.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
I tease them about the spikee bidding on each other
and how how much cruelty has revealed at these things.
You know, I just love getting in their heads a
little bit because they're so the young parents, their brains
are all mushy, so they're very impressionable. You can you
can push them around a little bit.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
That's great.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
Based on the stories my sisters for me too, like
my nieces, the parents. My niece is high school. Like,
it really does seem like some of these people are.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Absolutely oheat of their minds.

Speaker 4 (18:30):
They are just they're like my child type living where
I just am like I don't relate. And I had
to go to a couple graduation parties and I was
just like, yeah, this is not my vibe or interest
or anything at all.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
There's some really you know, I've made some really good
friends through it, and it's a lot like stand up.
You know, you meet people you really connect with, and
then there are a handful of narcissists that really ruin
almost every party.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yes, always, always, that's just in any group. I think.

Speaker 3 (19:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know how you control it.
So make a make a narcissist free zone.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
I don't know how Daddy's homeeople.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
She's a deer.

Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yeah, that is the fucking funniest sir.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Are you kidding? We both saw the person you fucking
Zeta Gal.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
She's a Kappa Kappa Zeta.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
How old are you?

Speaker 2 (19:27):
I gotta go sing with my friends and matching a sweat?

Speaker 1 (19:31):
Is it an a cappella like sorority or something?

Speaker 2 (19:34):
Beta Gal, Zda Gal. That's the kind of song.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
May what they're doing.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Chris, were you big in the Greek system in college?

Speaker 2 (19:45):
Oh? I mean I didn't pledge, but I was in
an acting group with some of the guys at the
Fiji House, and boy did they want me.

Speaker 4 (19:55):
She's also a mason's wife. She's doing it all.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
She's a mason's wife. Oh, she's got the sheriff's thing.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
She's married to a shriner and she's just a kid
in college.

Speaker 4 (20:06):
That's why she felt the need to take a left
in front of me. So she's like it, excuse me,
it's me.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
I need to know her age because she might be
in one of those sorority groups, like my mother.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
Was in, oh, like an alumni sorority. But you stick
with it.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
But it was controversial, but a lot of people send
me messages. My parent, who also didn't go to college,
was also in a sorority. It's just a misuse of
the word that is already too popular, oh for college affiliation.
But it is a Greek system based society group. Society

(20:43):
group sounds like horse racing, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
Cucumber sandwiches, yes.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
Yeah, yes, and floppy hats yeah. And they do crafts basically,
and a little bit I tupperware, Mary Kay sales.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
It was like a crap sorority.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, and an opportunity to bring in your pyramids game sales.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yes, that's the big gotta still your legging somewhere right.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
Right right, So yeah, it's an interesting lady. I wish
we could have followed her home and.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Girl, Hey, y hey, we're doing a podcast and we
want to pick.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Be scared of us. We did follow you home, but
please don't give me upset.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
That's the spinoffs.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Like being married to a brick layer.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Brick layer, do you need a stock?

Speaker 2 (21:33):
I don't know what amazing is. I finally set it
out loud.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yeah, just get it out there. Today is about really
talking about our secrets.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Yes, stone, Wow, I'm glad.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
I'm glad that that beep was to let us nowhere
in the middle of an intersection.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, let us know. I think I'm gonna start taking
my dogs there. It looks like the Old West.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
Yeah, just for the photo op at least.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah, after they drained their glands, you get a nice
black and white of them holding a musket.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
Well, are you putting a leech on my dog?

Speaker 2 (22:08):
I got to get rid of the bad spirits somehow.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
Doc giving cocaine to my dophin. This is crazy. They
really do an old school.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
The blood letting to cure the dog.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
I had my colonoscopy the other day, which I highly recommend.
It was it was like being showered from the insides
and I woke up that I woke up and they
were laughing, so I obviously said something. They were laughing
so hard, and I don't know what it was about.

(22:45):
But much like in many of my dreams, I dream
about math because matthe used to give me anxiety and
they told me I said the quadratic formula out loud,
which I don't know who in real life remember that
it was that first algebra for a mine. It's like

(23:06):
a square root over two a B. I don't know
what it is, but one of the nurses says, you
did do I went to school for math and you
said it? What is the What is that? Are we
really only using ten percent of our brains?

Speaker 3 (23:22):
It's you just don't have access to it all the time.
I hate that I know what shit is that well?

Speaker 4 (23:27):
And also does that mean that you looked at it
on a page one day, or like, listened about it
in school for a week and then now you just
truly know it.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
I was that the idea tried really hard in algebra,
and I would panic because back then they didn't know
about things like adderall. And you know, I just have
anxiety during tests. Things I knew I couldn't summon during
the pressure of a test. And I know that I
could have been medicated and done better in high school.

(23:57):
But I let's not look back, I know, looking forward
to my math career.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Mathematician Chris Bair, surely.

Speaker 4 (24:07):
Your passion and you had to get put under general
anesthetic to find out.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Oh, they also, I don't. I thought I was under it,
but I was lucid. I guess. Uh No, I was
put under. I just woke up early and they were
doing it. I'm and I just said, you're doing a
great job, nice and gentle.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
I think you'd be a fun person to have on
on on gas Chris, just knowing you personally.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
I it was fun. It was fun, was my whole point.
I swear it was like enjoyable time. I highly recommend it,
not for the drugs and the way I felt for
two days.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, so because you're so cleaned out, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
And felt so light and healthy, like really, the cleansing
aspect of it. I didn't not know, No, one advertises that.
They just say it's uncomfortable because you can't eat for
two days, which wasn't that hard, And then I've been
feeling great, So I highly recommend it. Get your call

(25:12):
and checked. It's that time.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
You know, what are your plans for the summer. I'm
gonna get myop.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
No, no, I wouldn't no, no, this is this summer.
I am. I'm chilling. I'm gonna be doing a lot
of stone cold chilling. I'm putting out some music this summer,
so I'm looking forward to that and putting out a
couple of music videos. I'm excited about that.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
Are they new songs?

Speaker 4 (25:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Are you doing a new album already?

Speaker 3 (25:45):
I'm gonna put out an EP an extended play, extended play.
It's four songs that are already recorded, and I thought,
I just want to put them out so I'm not
sitting on them forever and trying to figure out what
to do with it. So I'm I'm gonna put them
out with a specialty records.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
And deceivingly extended play. When it comes to vinyl, is
a smaller record, right, yes?

Speaker 3 (26:13):
Well, because before it was mostly singles. The first iteration
of records was singles. Oh okay, so the EP is
an extended play, then it's what long? What is it?
The LP? The Big Daddy. I don't have that many
songs recorded, so I can't do that.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
But an extended play could be in a jukebox. You
could be doing the juke circuit.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah. Absolutely, And now thank god for digital juke boxes.
I assume. No, I don't know if anybody's ever put
on a stand up comedy track on a jukebox. I
don't think that's allowed. But so I'm working my way
into digital jukeboxes with music.

Speaker 4 (26:53):
Like if you're at a Johnny Rockets and then it
goes from Chubby Checker to like Dice.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
I only say Dice because that was my first comedy album.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
How off putting would that be? You're just you're just
jamming at Johnny Rockets, having a nice throwback experience, and
then boom, well I guess Dice Man's pre throwback.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Oh yeah, I don't. I think the only reason I
got it because it was on Deaf American and I
was like, oh, this is going to be like the
music I like, and it was my first It's funny
what your first four A? And the stand up is.
But for me it was Andrew dik.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
What was yours, Karen, what was your first?

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Well, I guess who looked it was there?

Speaker 4 (27:37):
That show Evening at the Improv used to be on
like after the news and stuff like around eleven and.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
So I think it's just all those.

Speaker 4 (27:46):
It was the Ray Romano, Susie Esmond that like Class
of Comics eight nineteen eighty, like one or two or
something like that. Yeah, I don't know, and I yes,
like the first time I saw Sam Kinnison, I couldn't
believe what I was looking at, like when he was
just on Letterman just screaming.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (28:09):
It of course caught like my aunt tape recorded the
Bill cosby himself special.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
That was a big one because we all kind of
like gathered around to watch it. Yeah, which was cool.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, because of Sam Kinnison and Duty Tanuda. I used
to think that the thing would stand up was you
speak softly and then you start getting raunchy and yelling
and it's a balance of like soothing and chaos.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, that's what Nirvana did. It really worked.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, that's what Turnstile's doing. Mm hmm. A little bit
of hardcore and then some melodic yes, like pop almost.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
If you guys haven't seen Turnstyle on Fallon a couple
of weeks ago, what a performance.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
All right, I'm gonna check it out.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
It's crazy. Their clips, it's yeah, they're very good.

Speaker 3 (28:57):
They're very good.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
The old album's even better. But they to see a technically,
what is a hardcore band get a standing ovation on
a late night show. It's just I'll take it. That's
given the times. I'll take Yeah, that's right. I in
some ways things are better because that happens. Yeah, yeah,

(29:18):
I used to be in a room full of people
singing creed well.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
And also, like you're saying, it's important that like the
art is reflecting the times where it's like, let the
punkers up front so they actually say shit. Right, So
there we're talking about real things and people are being
like pressuring you trend wise to talk about real things.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, yeah, it is important, and you're right.

Speaker 4 (29:41):
You know, it's horrifying to live in Los Angeles and
know that they're like just going up to people who
are trying to sell fruit in the Median and just
taking them away is insane.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
It's horrifying, or just they're shopping with their family. They're
not even it's willy nilly.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
It's willy nilly.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
And all the mornings, me and my someone intimidating skate
crew to not be at Costco. There's a there's a
guy there that brings oranges and avocados and asks if
we want any before he brings a bunch into the store.
He's our friend, I mean, in passing, he's our acquaintance, right,

(30:24):
He's sweet, we smile. He got he got chased. I
saw it on Instagram, Like, I know that guy.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
Did he get away?

Speaker 3 (30:30):
No?

Speaker 4 (30:33):
No?

Speaker 2 (30:34):
So the yesterday I went and there was a guy
in town that we all used to SKay with these visiting.
So there's like fifteen people there and I was wanting
so badly because there's a new avocado guy and he
was big and intimidating, looking like yeah, he looked like
a guy that did MMA and so.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
That fruit from Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, he was like he was ready for he knew
that the potential was there. And I really wished those
dog the bounty hunters in cargo pants had showed up
right in that moment because we could have like at
least intimidate him. That's my favorite new video intimidating these

(31:21):
guys until they're like okay, fine.

Speaker 3 (31:22):
Yeah, they eventually leave, yeah yeah.

Speaker 4 (31:25):
Or they're doing things like people are pulling up as
people are like getting surrounded by ice crops, and then
the people being surrounded are just jumping into their cars
and they're driving them away like little getaway car, you know,
like anti kidnapping. I mean, it's amazing. People are doing
amazing things in the face of what is like an
insane just fascist meltdown essentially.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
Yeah, well, I know that that Rob dierdic that show
Robin bigg started because he would bring a security guard
with him to film his skateboard parts, and then so
a real security guard would come and they'd have to
deal with Rob's personal security guard. It was in skate
videos and it was a hilarious idea that worked. They

(32:09):
got my security guard's bigger and more personable than yours,
and he would just row down with them and say, hey,
he's gonna do like five more tries, and they wouldn't
say no to him. I know it's illegal to impersonate
an officer, but what if I just had on hand
a police Because you can go to an Army Navy

(32:31):
surplus store and buy everything.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
That's what they did.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
But the badge exactly exactly light. Yeah, cavalierly.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Left a Yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Want to dress up like a cop and say guys, sorry,
not not, I got I took care of this already,
just go on. But I guess I'm what I'm describing
as a fell in and you guys not seeing me
for a long time, so never mind.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
Yeah, let's not have that happen.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
No, so we need you. I'm spitballing, but yeah, that's it.
I think helping people just say get into my car.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
Or there's also people that are going around and going
up to the people that are selling stuff and going
how much for everything and giving them like whatever it is,
five hundred dollars or whatever, and then so they're like
go home, go home, which is great. Yeah, there's lots
of that. Just people give a shit about other people,
and you can't make people not care.

Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah. I've been really proud of La. We forget even
though we live here, that this is a passionate community
and a lot of people show up to protest and
it was it made me proud to that sometimes I
forget this is also a cool city.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
Also, we're kind of supposed to forget because that's what
social media is. It's just kind of like this drip
into our brain of like we'll tell you what's going
on outside, you stay where you are and be freaked out,
and then we'll just kind of feed it.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
And then it's like, that was the coolest thing to
me about all this protests. I didn't do it.

Speaker 4 (34:10):
I was sitting at a thirty five degree angle like
a fucking Alexis Carrington on a bed, watching Sinners over
and over with Adrian, but watching it and I'm just like,
oh my god, there's so many more people than I thought.
And they're old and they're like, there's a lot of
old white people. I feel like, are like, we have
to be standing here showing people that this is not

(34:33):
the majority and it's not normal.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
You're right though, while that's happening, if you're out on
having brunch or eating an ice cream cone, you feel
like a real idiot. You're shit just having a day
doing what I was doing. I was just like, but
you were on vacation.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
I was on vacation, and I also didn't.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
I just do the other thing the way I like
to give is with money, and then I don't have
to go fucking walk around with people I don't want
to talk to. It's also valid, just like some some
sort of support somewhere and care. But also I'm scared
to death because my niece is half Mexican and now
they're just doing whatever the fuck they want.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
So yeah, I mean it's all just meant to terrorize everybody. Yeah,
and that's and that is, that's what they're that's what
they're doing. They're they're definitely winning in.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
That battle, in the terror battle, the terror battle.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
They're doing exactly what they wanted to do.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
Well, we're here to counteract that with our conversational comedy.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Yes, yes, or at least just I think talking about it.
I want people to know that it is indeed happening.
It's not just another thing. Yeah, but it's happening everywhere,
so everyone's experiencing their own version.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
It's amazing to see that it that it people care
enough where it's impacting how they are spending their money. Yeah,
to see what's happening with the Dodgers and how people
are you know, for the first time in the season,
they're not selling out, you know, there there's several thousand
light yeah each each home game, like they I swear

(36:08):
to you. They had shoe Otani start pitching again so
that they could bring so much publicity back to the stadium,
but it's not really working. And then offering a million dollars.
A million dollars sounds a lot to a six year
old in the eighties, but now to say we're going

(36:30):
to give a million dollars to help these people, it's.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Like it's five dollars to them.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah, well that's it's curious because they were also providing
parking for ice, so they were.

Speaker 4 (36:41):
They were doing a lot of fucked up shit, and
they're clearly it's the owners. It's not you know, it's
these people who are so above everything that they can't
make good decisions.

Speaker 3 (36:55):
I'll see you up there.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
What's Han academy?

Speaker 1 (36:57):
I think he and I are fighting. Just let us
get through this part of our relationship.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
I'm really I'm rooting for you guys.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
The first thing he said was not what's your name?
Whatever the fuck he said was like had a K
in it and an st and I'm just like, sorry, what.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
I just wanted to know your name? Oh so now
you're gaslighting.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
I hate that.

Speaker 4 (37:20):
So so now you're emotionally manipulating.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not giving you more information.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
I just asked your name. I'm not trying to okay
me too.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Yeah. Actually I think you were setting me up for
the what's up dog joke. I didn't hear the name
anywhere in there.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
I'm all for trying to bring back the personal experience,
but at the same time, it doesn't need to be
in the drive. This is the drive. This is different.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yes, yes, this is different. This is much different.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
I'm not in a coffeehouse.

Speaker 2 (37:51):
A lot of people, including me, are kind of uncomfortable
when they're just firing their voice off to a live group.
This I enjoy, but when they, like at a club,
they make you say, hey, how y'all doing tonight? I'm
so bad at that tonight. But first before the headliner,

(38:12):
who's me? I shouldn't have said that. I think that
maybe this guy's personal is actually the service he would
give in person, face to face would be much better.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
It all depends on how hot he is.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
Yeah, if he's a haughty he can be a little
aloof and dry, and that's fine.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna need before I make any
other decisions. We got to check out his bone structure.

Speaker 4 (38:37):
I think that he's going to have John Lennon style glasses,
but then a but then a very frendy haircut. So
it's he's going to be doing half hippie half cutting
edge fashion.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
That's my I'm just making a guess.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
He's going to be the singer of World Party.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Yes, put a message in a box. We're sued, we're sued,
and we're done.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
Person a small percentage of the song. There's parody law.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
You can do. You can do that.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
It's not Yeah, it was relevant, Jim, it was relevant.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
His name's Jim.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Jim's our lawyer. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (39:16):
Yeah, he's had to listen to us sing so much
dumb ship and then cut it out, poor Jim.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
So funny. I thought you were saying the lead singer
of World Party is named Jim, and then I thought
his name was Jim Sarr lawyer. Jim Sar lawyer, Jim
Sar lawyer. Oh, every band Jim Sar lawyer was in
World Party is one of them. Of course, of course

(39:45):
it is.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Jim Sar lawyer.

Speaker 4 (39:48):
Sounds exactly like so when you went to high school
with and it's Jim our lawyer simultaneously amazing.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
That was a Breddystonelli's level. It was name mess up.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Oh, is anybody in this car interested in going to
see the Matrix in Inglewood at that special movie theater
that's like the like the Las Vegas Globe or whatever that.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
Thing about what I didn't know this existed.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
It looks amazing, It looks amazing.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
So this is there a new Matrix movie? Is that
what we' or is it the old one?

Speaker 1 (40:21):
And the old one like re released?

Speaker 4 (40:22):
So it's almost like as if it were at the Imax, right,
but instead of Imax.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
It like goes up and back and all around.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Why are there two people simultaneously just fell asleep?

Speaker 1 (40:35):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (40:37):
Mommy, Wow, be careful BMW this Manton.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
You must have seen an accident during this podcast before.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
I've almost caused accidents.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
I did a full on drive through a red light
because I was talking and thinking about something else.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
And I've never seen you do that. That's a me move.

Speaker 4 (40:56):
Yeah, it was a there's a guy making left in
front of me? Who it really is?

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Just like what are you?

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (41:02):
I don't want it?

Speaker 3 (41:04):
When you get the what are you doing when you're wrong?
That does feel like all right? Yeah, yeah, you know
what am I doing here?

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yeah? You're right? What am I doing?

Speaker 2 (41:12):
I got?

Speaker 3 (41:12):
I got? What are you doing? By jogger? And he
had the tiniest little jogging shorts on and he had
a very classic eighties macho guy face, and I just
I loved it. It was one of those moments where
I'm like, God, I wish I could just paint this.
I want this forever.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
He was mad at you.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
Oh, he was mad, and he was totally right.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
You should roll down and I'm sorry I got distracted.
I can see your balls. Get him with the shorts.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
You're doing some serious bad work down there.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Yeah, you can't be this mad when you're the cause
of everything.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
Bro, you probably caused six accidents before you got to
this intersection that I almost ran.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
You over it. Yeah, I don't like him when you
either say my bad with hand gestures, but they don't
see your facial expression, so they think you're going what
are you doing? Like I'm not giving you more, I'm
saying you're right or an aoka, but it looks like
you're flipping them off. That's my leadst favorite I.

Speaker 4 (42:08):
Think the key there as you were saying it and
kind of acting it out. I think the key of
showing them your palm as opposed to I think you
have to be sure you're not turning that palm away
in any way. It's it's this, you're right. I mean,
I don't mean you any harm.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Right, you're right.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
It's tough because in the moment you don't really know
what you're doing.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Now.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah, I palmed up like a crisis negotiating.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Yes, please calm down.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
It's not worth it, sir, get down from the sixth
story building.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
I did something the other day, in a moment of
bizarre road rage I've had done in probably twenty five years.
I gave someone the jerking off hand gesture and I
never that's retro. It felt, so why did I do that?

Speaker 2 (42:55):
That's funny? Was what he was doing boring?

Speaker 3 (43:00):
I think they were hunging at me, and it was like,
not my fault at all, and I was just like, yeh,
fuck this guy, but I don't know what my hand
it's it's just like you knowing the quadratic equation coming
out of being induced. I was just like, Wow, I'm
suddenly I'm on Beavis and butt head, this is crazy,
this is this is now. I think I'm gonna keep

(43:20):
doing it.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
Yeah, I gave I gave a cyber truck to double
Bird one day and I was driving a Tesla, so
it's like this weird. I was suddenly like, fuck you,
this is so stupid or whatever. It's like, you can't
just do that. You can't be on your high horse.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
I mean you can. You can walk around a little contradiction.
I think that's fine.

Speaker 4 (43:39):
I mean it is what makes me interesting. If I
don't have that, I have nothing.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
I think it's fair to say that's a bridge too far.
The cyber truck, that's when you just they that was
the era where the line was fully crossed.

Speaker 4 (43:52):
I mean it just makes I every time I drive
near or behind one, because there's a couple on my street.
There's it's not appealing visually. I hear it doesn't work
very well, like it's a true mystery. And they cost
like six figures, don't they.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
That's that's crazy they did.

Speaker 3 (44:10):
But now they're one of my favorite genres of TikTok videos.
Are are guys that resell luxury cars and because they're
such cool bros and there you just get to be
dicks to these wealthy guys that bought a car for
one hundred and fifty thousand and they're like, no, no, no,
it's it's worth seventy thousand. Oh and they can't believe it.

(44:32):
And I was like, I maybe I missed my calling.
I should be a luxury car resaler.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
My god, you'd be great at it.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
I would love to hurt their feelings.

Speaker 4 (44:40):
Yeah, like the guy that Shaq went into a Bentley
dealership and asked how much like in the hype, Yeah
you heard that story at the height of the Lakers
or the height of his career, and he asked how
much Bentley's were and he's like, don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
You can't afford it. And Shack got so mad.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
He bought thirty Bentley's but he didn't fit into them,
so you had to have all of them retrofitted, so
it ended up costing I've told you this.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
Sorry, he's a repeater for this podcast.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
This is classic.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
I love that. And then he had to resell them. Well,
I made my point. I have about a month's work
to do and resell these Bentleys.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Yeah, I've never related to shock more.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
That's such a me move of Shack.

Speaker 3 (45:22):
I look at that and I go, what, just the
indignation is just so me. Yeah, you don't think Shaq
would have that in it? Well, also don't.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
It's such a overt sales tactic, you.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
Know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (45:37):
I like, you're not good enough for this shirt. It's like, ah,
I insist on having twenty shirts. It's like, that's that's
the tale's oldest time. But he fell for it and
then bought thirty Bentley.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
And then that guy made a lot of money off it,
and then he thought, you know what I'm going to say,
People don't worry. You can't afford it every single day.
I just made a killing. Yeah, that's what's the unfortunate part.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
I saw a lot yesterday a Lamborghini in an Arco
gas station parking lot getting gas, and I thought, that's
really funny. I also want to paint that just having
this luxury sports car and getting the absolute cheapest gas.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
Available, that just a gas full of like copper, whatever
the fuck. It's like the worst you can get.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
The worst gas. I was like, Wow, it's just you know,
you see a lot of that in LA and I
really do love it. People buy these cars like very ambitiously.
And then it's like, whoa, you're you're doing food service,
food delivery and you know a ninety thousand dollars car,
and that's that's this town in a nutshell.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Yeah, when you see three luxury or exotic cars in
front of a one house, that like, clearly it's a
roommate situation. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
There's an aston Martin Parks around the corner from my
house for a couple of years, parked on off and
it had obviously kept getting impounded, always had like chalk
numbers written on the windshield. It was all just preteus
fuck And I was like, what a story this This
person has had just had the craziest three years. There's
no doubt.

Speaker 4 (47:07):
They got a pilot. The pilot got picked up, and
then the pilot got canceled.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
Canceled, and then they got canceled. Now they're on the run.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Now nothing's ever gonna happen again.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
I wonder if on a Lamborghini does the gas cap
swivel up like the doors do. That'd be kind of cool,
that would be if I've lifted up like that. That's
what I want to be the case.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
Karen, do you miss gas stations. You're never in amore.

Speaker 1 (47:37):
No.

Speaker 4 (47:38):
I it's so exciting to have because they basically or
I got a thing set up where it's like I
have the electrical charter in my crush and so that
I'll have to do is get home.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
It's the fucking greatest, right.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
I love it. But what do you do when you
want to huff a little gas accidentally?

Speaker 1 (47:57):
I buy it with my allowance. Separately, I love.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
The smell of gas, and I think that that's just
my I don't know, the manufactured home side of my family.
I can enjoy the smell of gas, and I smell
it deep to where I get a little dizzy and
I purposefully get a little umni fingers. It does smell

(48:23):
gun and Mary's sister gallagher it. Yeah, I love gas.
I don't know why. It's probably the worst thing you
can breathe.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Yeah. I worked at a tire shop for probably seven years,
and I that the smell of a tire shop hits
me hard in the nostalgia zone.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
I love tire smell. Yeah, it's very distinct, very seven years.
You did that? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (48:47):
Yeah, I did it through college and then the first
couple of years when I lived here I did it
part time.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Did you have one of those lugnut guns that went,
oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
Oh I'm a whiz with a lugnut gun.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
I just wanted to show off my one sound effect
year one.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
Give me a break.

Speaker 2 (49:03):
Okay, there's also the helicopter and the flat tire.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
What's the flat tire?

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Oh, I need to have my uh my voice monitor?

Speaker 3 (49:16):
Oh Chris, yeah, Chris edition.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
God damn it, I need my uh yeah. I was
just trying to think about that.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
This was the big show we're casting. You didn't even
have the impression.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
I just wanted you to be able to do flat
tires straight to the lugdut thing.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Oh yeah, could you guys help me out? But see
you later. And that's a helicopter, four cylinder helicopters. Later,
I pull a urge and then a helicopter.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Res Darby does that kind of stuff. Oh yes, he's incredible.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
He should audition for Esenal. I want to audition for
USNEL just to eat it.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
Auditioned for us ANDEL and I'm sure I ate it,
but it was over zoom, so I never knew. Oh,
never a problem. It was just submitting another tape.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
You know.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
It's yeah, it didn't hurt.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
Didn't hurt.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
Were you in a room of other people auditioning, that
would have been.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
There was twelve other people in my bedroom in front
of a gray sheet, also auditioning.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Have you done those auditions where you do your part
and the other people auditioning are in other zoom screens?

Speaker 4 (50:28):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (50:29):
Yes, Oh I love it.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
I'm so fascinated by.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Doing other parts the same part. What so they're watching.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Yes, and talk about discomfort?

Speaker 3 (50:39):
Well no they watching? No, No, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
Yeah, usually there's a way.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
Times that's terrible.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, they did that to us a couple of times
because they were having people Okay, now you play this
part and you play this part, so you're watching each
other and actually needing a partner. So it was one
of those situation. But what a terrible situation to be in.
That's why I quit the whole racket. No, you didn't

(51:08):
auditioning for commercials?

Speaker 3 (51:09):
Oh are you out?

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Oh god, I haven't done that for years? Yeah? Wow yeah,
no more. I mean I don't know anyone that makes
money from it anymore. Right, it's uh, celebrities only, and
if you book one, you get like five grand. I'm
over it.

Speaker 3 (51:28):
Yeah, I did one last year and it was made
a little more than that, but not that much.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yeah. Well I remember you putting a lot of every
time I went on one, you were there. Yeah, that's
how I got to know you. Yeah, our long talks
and waiting rooms.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
Yeah. I think you even watch my baby at one point.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Huh.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
Yeah, Yeah, that that is a testament. I'm like, Okay,
I'm not going to complain about driving across town to
read a line or two. Yeah, when Paul came with
both his children, I did when my.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
First was a baby. I oh, just driving out to
Santa Monica all the time and just like having a
whole front seat filled with little things to keep handing
back to them. Oh, just like you're driving home from
Santa Monica four point thirty on a Friday, Like I'm
gonna I'm gonna crash this. I'm gonna end this for

(52:26):
all of us right here.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
So intense. I mean, it's thankless.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
It's like I didn't realize until four years into auditioning
for things. So I'm just like, I can't. I hate
this more than anything in the world. Yeah, I'm doing
it because everyone else is doing it, and I think
I'm supposed to, But I'm too fragile, I'm too egotistical.
I refuse to see myself as other people see me.

(52:54):
I need to do it my way, like everything about
it infuriates me.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
Yeah, I think, And I really think that's like a
comedian's mindset. Like actor like people are like actor actors.
They're so there's such a different species than comedians are,
and it's weird. They do it so joyfully, and I
was like, how can you? How can you just accept
someone else's version of you. I was talking to this

(53:22):
woman who I'm kind of pals with, and she she
even teaches classes for auditioning, and she goes, Paul, cut
your hair, and I was like, why fuck you told
me to cut my hair? You know, I don't work
for you. And she's like, you'll make a lot more
money if you cut your hair. And I was like, well,
I'm not worried about that. She goes, look in acting.

(53:43):
She's like, you can either you want to try to
get late or do you want to try to make money?
She goes, When I was young, I had long hair
and someone told me that same thing, and I cut
my hair and I started booking work immediately. She was
that's not People don't want someone that looks good. They
want them to look like regular regular Yeah yeah, And
I was like, I reject that. I resent that so thoroughly.

(54:06):
I'm gonna spend my whole fucking life trying to maintain like,
you know, it's what I hated when I worked at
McDonald's and like, you can't have facial hair, you can't
have any piercings, you have to tuck your shirt, and
it was like, I don't live for this. I'm here
working part time. I don't need to. I don't need
to shape my whole identity around this.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
Oh you acting like I do.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
Think it's interesting because it's like a person telling you,
here's the way for people to see you more as
a blank slate that they can project on, which I
kind of think is smart in that way where it's like,
but you already have that. I think you're a really
good actor and already have that ability, but like that
kind of thing of like, don't think of me as
the cool guy, think of me as the guy from

(54:50):
the office or whatever.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
Yeah, they need all of those different versions of you.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
Yeah, you hope that you would hope that people that
are you know, I said cast, I'm gonna say casting,
but mean the casting directors. I mean like the brands,
the people, the corporations. They are so it's such a
hard time seeing anything than is what has exactly shown
to them. Yeah, they have no, like very little imagination

(55:14):
to go, oh, yeah, that person could be a brunette
even though they're blonde. Right now They're like, no, no,
she's she's blonde. We can't use her. There's no way
to get around this. I can't see her as anything
but blonde. And it's like, come on, oh stupid, can
you be.

Speaker 4 (55:29):
Also, it's interesting like that the way show business has
been up until this point is it's like not that
way anymore. That it's such a profound difference of like
they aren't paying people and you it's much harder to
make a true living. There's just all the kind of
cheapening weirdness where it's just like, I don't know, I

(55:52):
just think it's it can't really last that way. It's
like you don't get to you don't get to cheap
out on kind of the best part of like why
you're you know, people ate burger King because of Elizabeth Shoe.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
That's just a fact right right when did she It
was like.

Speaker 4 (56:08):
It was like her first thing in show business. But
it was also like right when Burger King kind of
like was coming, and so she's like worked there and
was the cute girl talking straight into camera and like
it was very this very definitive advertising moment of Burger Wars.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
Remember the Burger Wars?

Speaker 3 (56:25):
Who could forget flame?

Speaker 4 (56:27):
Finally I lost two brothers in the Burger Wars. But
it was that kind of thing. And then it was
like it made her because she was so like all
American whatever.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Yeah, I still have dreams of Elizabeth Shoe because you
loved her so yes as a young person.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
She's such a great babysitter.

Speaker 2 (56:50):
She was, she was adventure.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
I love God.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
I love that movie.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
Such a good movie.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
It's incredible.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
I loved the redheaded kid in that movie. He was
so funny.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
He was always funny, and everything was that Scott Grimes.
I don't know. I think you're right. That sounds like
the right name.

Speaker 4 (57:08):
He was on every sitcom in the early nineties, late seventies, yeah,
early eighties.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
Sorry, I hate watched uh And it's worse than you
think it's going to be. Soul Man, Oh do you
guys remember his roommate though that act? He was in
Allen and some other shows. But he was so good.
Who was it his name that would have or what
did he look like he had? I the best way

(57:36):
to do it would be show his picture. When I
bring this photo up, you'll all go, oh, that guy
was the best. Oh yeah, and he just disappeared.

Speaker 1 (57:46):
His first name Mark.

Speaker 3 (57:49):
It's another great eighties actor. Question his name Mark Mark?

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Yeah, he's a Mark here, Mark Ari Gross?

Speaker 1 (57:58):
Oh yeah, Alary Gross had his own sitcom for a
long time.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
I mean that guy when he was young. Do you
remember this guy Paul.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
No the pictures bad?

Speaker 2 (58:11):
That guy?

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Yeah, that guy, I know, yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
Yeah he didn't. He'd look at him with his ear
ring and his hair exactly like yours. I know he
did just yeah, no one ever told him. I know. Yeah.
That guy is so funny in that horrible, horrible movie
that it's almost like, oh, we have to stop watching this.
But that guy's pretty good. Yeah. He was really the

(58:34):
Elizabeth Shoe of boys?

Speaker 4 (58:37):
Was he the whole time going you can't do this,
this is insane.

Speaker 3 (58:40):
You could do Yes, he was.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
That's the other thing that it's like the only reason
he should have agreed to that movie. He was the
only voice of reason. Yes, everyone was crazy, including James
Earl Jones, Like it was like, how are you all
not seeing that this is wrong?

Speaker 4 (58:58):
Because it was the eighties, remember seeing that movie in
the theater because we loved see Thomas Hall.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
So much amazing and he was because.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
It was like a couple of years after The Outsiders.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
Yeah, and uh someone told him to do comedy.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Yeah, it was the worst part of the movie is
he's stealing uh scholarships, sure as you do from black students.
That's the worst part. It's the worst. It's like, how
is anyone gonna care a root for this guy? It

(59:34):
was just ave I want to say simpler time. But boy,
we're right back where.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
We started, which is great because they're bringing back the
Naked Gun for that series and it looks awesome.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Who's starring in it.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
Leslie Nilsen? Of course, it's oh le is it? Yeah,
that's funny. There's a trailer for it. It's so I
laughed at a movie trailer, which i'ven't done in a
dog's age.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
Yeah, that's ry gross is taking OJ's part.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
There's a very funny oj joke in the trailer, and.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
I was like, yeah, here we go.

Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
We go.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Oh where they're all looking at pictures of their relatives
and they're like, it's just for you, Lieutenant Dreban like
he's He's like Frank Dreven's son. Yeah, and then there's
one guy looking at it. O Jay's like, uh no
he does not. Yeah, Okay, you're right. That was a

(01:00:38):
good trailer. Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
I can't wait.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
This has gone so quickly.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
I can't even believe it. I feel like we just
started talking, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
And I want to apologize for not taking you home.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
Yeah you didn't take me anywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
I drove to you and you drove me back to
where I drove you.

Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
I just wanted you to see the valley in it
the way it kind of is naturally.

Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
I do love the valley at this time. They do
get the Purple Mountains majesty over there in Burbank.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
Yeah, they really do.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
I love the dapple light of your road, so thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:01:11):
And he plugs anything you want people to pay attention to.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
My God CP come out.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
Yeah, it should come out probably in the next month. Yeah,
I've got some the music videos coming out soon. I
really want people to check it out. You can check
out cod I post stuff on TikTok and YouTube and
Instagram and my god, if you want to come see
me do stand in person, you just should. Yeah, I'm
better in person, I'll be honest. If you're probably underwhelmed

(01:01:40):
by now, but when you see the whole thing happening,
it's really it really clicks.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
It clicks.

Speaker 4 (01:01:45):
You can watch him on TikTok, for sure, but it's
the real life experience that you want.

Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
With the experience, I'm exactly as tall as you think,
you know, I'm very very good manners.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
Yeah, you can host.

Speaker 4 (01:02:00):
Like when you're the host, you do stand up for
like literally two and a half hours the whole time.

Speaker 3 (01:02:06):
I love it. And you know, I will be hosting
this great show in town called Better Half All for
the month of July.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
Oh that's great. I live down the street. I'll come
just to watch and hang out with you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
It's at this wine bar called Bar Bendini an Echo Park.
It's really a really fun show.

Speaker 4 (01:02:22):
It's Wednesday nights at eight o'clock, yep at Barbiandini on
Sunset Boulevard, and it's a comedy it's a casual comedy show.

Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
It's really casual. And they have all the organic wine
you could ever want to fucking drink. It's that they
got it on tap. You're gonna feel so sexy. It's
really good.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
Yeah, wine with pulp in it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
I have most, you know wine. When we were growing up.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
It was so thin.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
Yeah, right, we got to thicken.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
It up, chunked it up.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
Yeah, like your mom used to make in the bathtub
with surgical tubes and some fermentation. You have to shower downstairs.
It might explode.

Speaker 3 (01:02:57):
Everybody really great. Yeah, she's in these various clubs, these
social clubs. She's like a bathto wine.

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
Yeah, she does it all.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
She made you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:06):
I mean, I just love her output.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
All of these things happened well drunk. You know, Karen,
there is a wrapped paper towel thing in your bushes.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
I know.

Speaker 4 (01:03:16):
I tried to throw it up over that railing, and
I like, I just can't throw with any accuracy, So
I just threw it up, hit the railing, and then
went as close to the railing as possible so I
couldn't get it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
I'm just reminding you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
Yeah, I just feel like there's no way you don't
have a videotape of that now somehow, So yeah, you'd
love to see that on the Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Okay, great, there'll be some content for this episode.

Speaker 3 (01:03:40):
Yes, yeah, people are gonna want to see it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Fire up the dash cam.

Speaker 4 (01:03:43):
In the ring cam, you can see exactly where my
seizure brain damage is because I can't release anything at
the correct moment to get it to go in a
straight line.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
It's you please, of course, what is it about? What
syndrome is that that I want to go rabbit so bad?
Right now?

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
It's just free paper towel syndrome.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Yes, yes, I almost said out CD, but a lot
of people claim that, and I'm not gonna mine as
just paper towel.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
Specific everything in its place.

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
I'm so glad and I was so happy to see
that you are our guest today an email not knowing
sometimes and what a relief.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
Yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
Love you guys, so it was really fun to come
hang out. I got to say.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
We love you, we love you, I love you, I mean, oh.

Speaker 3 (01:04:30):
Yeah, don't speak for Karen Crusaders, right, Karen, I love you. Paul,
thank you? All right?

Speaker 1 (01:04:36):
Well, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
You all have been listening to do you need a
Ride d y n A.

Speaker 5 (01:04:52):
This has been an exactly right production.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.

Speaker 5 (01:04:58):
Mixed by Edson Troy.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.

Speaker 5 (01:05:02):
Themed song by Karen Kilgarreth.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Speaker 4 (01:05:06):
Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
podcast That's d y nar Podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
Thank you, Oh You're welcome