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June 10, 2024 3 mins

DOES THIS MURDER MAKE ME LOOK GAY?! follows James Wilson, an aspiring writer and active homosexual, as he attempts to solve a murder in the Hudson Valley.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you like Krupaul's drag race but wish it wasn't
so straight? Do you spend most of your day in
bed with your dog? Do you walk fast and have
no idea how to drive? Are you ready for Celine
Dion to get over stiff person syndrome and just loosen up? Gosh,
Welcome to the original audio series. Does this murder make
me look gay? Meet Bandy Jeremi Amn Road the third.

(00:21):
If you're listening to this, then my greatest fear has
come to pass. I've been murdered. Someone's been leaving him
spooky death threats. So Vandy invites his best friends aka
his mortal enemies to his Hudson Valley home to get
to the bottom of the shenanigans. He enlists the help
of James Wilson, an aspiring writer an active homosexual. Put

(00:43):
your clothes on and come downstairs. You both have some
serious explaining to do. But when Vandy ends up murdered
and a storm traps everyone inside, James must solve the
mystery before the killer strikes again. Is it Reginald Vandy's
eternally youthful husband. I do exfoliate all the time, noon
to night in fact, I'm never nvix FOLDI a tush

(01:03):
fun munch, his German chef, shamea. I'm gay Henry James,
his jealous neighbor. I found those curtains extremely homophobic the
moment I laid eyes on Wilmer Monroe, his spoiled son.
No please, it's most like a rotten old man ass
in there. Kelly Raymore and Flanagan, heir to the Raymore

(01:25):
and Flanagan Empire. Queer people use words, not weapons when
those don't work. Maybe we do push Pepa downstairs, but
never knaves or guns. Jacques Saint Cox, a dirty porn
star with an even dirtier secret before I go, Do
you want me to fuck you? Madam Moon? An over
medicated and under talented cabaret performer. Music is the perfect medicine.

(01:48):
Holly Barker, her salty accompanist, felt like the moment needed
some oomph. Or TJ, a completely random lesbian who really
loves the musical fun Homes, didn't realize I was interrupting
a gay reenactment of Clue. And what about the missing
twink hidden inside the house or Vandy's beloved Pat Kackatoo Arah,

(02:15):
what lick them? Lick those toesies. But wait, is that
Broadway star Lea Salanga trapped in the basement? What the
hell is going on? Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay?

(02:35):
Stars Michael Uri, Jonathan Freeman, Seyanne Jackson, Frankie Grande, Robin Dejessus,
Brad Oscar, Nathan Lee Graham, Leah Delaria, Seth Rudetsky, Sean
Patrick Doyle and Broadway legend Lea Salanga featuring Ryan Steele,
Malory Portnoy, Emily Lynn Nacho, Tam Bunting and Kate McKinnon.

(02:55):
Written and directed by Ted Mallowar. Hilarity Guaranteed or your
money back? Oh wait, you didn't pay for this? Never mind, Ben,
Grab your poppers and enjoy the show. Listen to Does
This Murder Make Me Look Gay? As part of the
Outspoken Network, starting on June seventeenth, on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Host

Ted Malawer

Ted Malawer

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