September 26, 2024 • 59 mins
In the first episode of the new installment of Done There, Been That, longtime friends Mike Hill and Ephraim Salaam get real about their 20-year bond and how relationships have shaped the men they are today. Mike opens up about his journey through therapy, sharing how healing from past traumas has impacted his relationships and parenting, including an emotional reflection on the challenges he’s faced with his daughters. Ephraim recalls the moment he introduced Mike to Real Housewives of Atlanta star Cynthia Bailey and shares his own romantic tale of flying across the world to watch his wife perform at a Beyoncé concert. With candid discussions on masculine toxicity, marriage, and relationship dealbreakers, this episode is filled with insights, personal stories, and hard-earned wisdom. Watch the full video episode on the Inflection Network channel on YouTube.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is the Inflection collective part for us, A connected, reflective,
real perspective, respected defense, a shit shat no captains.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Big facts of kicks back. It's here for Sunday. It's
been that and we are back under done.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
There have been that podcast brought to you by our
Heart Radio and the Inflection Network. I'm your host, Mike
Hill hanging out and I'm so happy for this iteration
of this podcast because I get to do it with
one of my best friends in the world, not just
a colleague, a very accomplished man, my brother.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I from Salam. What's up E? How you doing? Man?
I'm honored to be here. Like you said, I'm I
from Salam, a thirteen year NFL VET, TV writer, film producer,
and a lot of other things. I've done there and
been that, and I'm happy to be a part of this. Man.
You reached out to me and I immediately said yes,
(00:54):
and I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
I couldn't think of anybody better man to do this
with because we've both been on a lot of Germany
and this is what the show is all about. By transparency,
about talking about some of the things that we see
in headlines, with entertainers, celebrities, athletes, whatever, and the things
that they go through and.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
A lot of times they get judged on social media.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Well, this is the way we can give our perspective
on some of those headlines that are out there or
some of those topics that are out there, and give
our perspective of what we've gone through and how we've overcome.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Of course, and it won't just be us, right, We'll
have some of the biggest names in sports, entertainment and
politics gracing are set and we'll hear some of the
ways that they've done there have been that and.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It's gonna be transparently. Tell you, one thing's gonna be
This is gonna be real. It's gonna get rid of it.
That's what I love about Bernie Max Man. Bernie Max's real,
authentic people. Man, That's what we want in this podcast.
None of that bull man. But one of the things,
once again, I felt like we could do this because
(01:56):
I don't look at you as a colleague.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I don't look at you.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
I know you're producing everything and I'm I'm so proud
of all your accomplishments, man, but you know you're my
big little brother. Yes, because believe it or not, he
was younger than me. You're young to me and you
just six eight, you know. But we go way back, man,
I mean we go back, man, maybe.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Almost like twenty I don't know when you got out
the NFL. Yeah, it's like twenty years. Wow, it's been
that long.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I remember seeing you the first time at ESPN when
you came through on the car wash. Man, I should
remember how good gary as you were and just how
friendly you were. And you know a lot of athletes
would come up there being an ankle or whatever, but
you were just like it was almost like you had
known me for ten years. I know you treat everybody
like that, but I felt special because it was a
respect thing.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Right. I've been watching you all I was playing, and
just the level of professional of professionalism you always had, yeah, man,
but you also were real, you know what I mean.
So the person you see on the show is the
person that you are, man, you know what I mean.
You bring your flair, you bring your energy. So when
(02:59):
we met, I was like, oh, it's like I know
you right like you were meeting me, but I already
knew you, and so I just fell right into being
comfortable on the show with you, and that really is
what started our chemistry together in this relationship. And we've
you know, you didn't work at ESPN now you turned
down esp I couldn't convince my wife, after following me
(03:22):
around the league the last six years, to move to Connecticut.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
So move from LA you got the goes out.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
We weren't gonna do it, like I didn't even I
didn't even broach the subject with her. You never even
told I never even told her because I was told
by the higher up student they love me. They usually
want their new guys to commit three four days a
week in Connecticut and move out. And and I was
thinking to myself, how am I going to sell this?
(03:55):
Like we were getting ready to start a family. Uh,
And I didn't want to go home and and seemed
like I was being insensitive to what we wanted to
do together.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
So I didn't even tell her about it. Wow wow,
but you know it worked to help. Look at where
you are now. We worked at FOT Sports together. We
launched it, we launched that thing, we.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Launched FS one.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
We would have beginning building on our back and our
backs built on our backs and had a good time.
Put the chemistry going even did a radio show on
Fox Sports Radio supposed to be a sports radio show.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
We talked about everything by sports. It was almost It's
probably why they took it away from it. I think
is the reason why I don't work radio, because we
were you know, tapped into real life conversations about you know, you,
about me, are you know, our journeys, uh, dating, marriage, relationships,
(04:53):
all of those things, And to me, it seemed more
compelling than just talking about what happened in the game before,
what was happening and then in the game now, uh,
which is probably not the right conversation for a sports
radio but but you know, here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
What we did is we took that sports content and
made it relatably that's true to people outside of the
world sports suit Man, which I think is.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Actually a great idea. It's hard to do, and to
have two people on the same page doing that. It
just goes to show the chemistry that we got to
get and we're gonna have this.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
It's gonna be hopefully a long running relationship on this show.
But are no even beyond the show. Our relationship is
going to continue. Of course, you got friends and reason
season and you got lifetime friends and my brother, I
can side you a lifetime friend because it's true love
and happiness.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I respect then to what everything that you're doing, I
know you do the same of course, man. Like I'm
I'm a fan. I'm a Mike Hill fan. And anything
I you've ever asked or anything we've come up with together,
I've always been down. That's just what that's who I
am as a person. Yeah, you are, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Between the two of us, by by the way, we
like talking about relationship, ships and whatever, because we got
forty years of marriage experience between the two of us.
Forty years of marriage experience. Now that's over four weddings and.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Four mayor.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
More of them by me, I been him, and let's
just say we're not splitting them.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
You had one and I've had three that didn't work out.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
But you know one thing I love about I man,
and it will get more into Like you were.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Responsible for the last marriage, by the way, I was
you were we're talking. I don't know it, you know,
apologized for that. It was it was an experience.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
It was something that you know, like I said, we
have no regrets, man, we just have life lessons that
we learned. Out here, man. But you've been married to
release for eighteen years, eighteen years, eighteen years. Just celebrated
eighteen years married, twenty one years.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Together twenty one years ago, and you knew the first
time you met her, oh, that you was going to
marry this woman. So I had been the League six
years already, and so I had had access to a
lot of different type of women. And the night I
(07:14):
met her, I said to myself, well, I've never met
anybody like this before, and I was. I just turned
twenty seven. And it's funny because I thank god that
had the maturity not to mess it up. Because being
steep into the as a single man in the league
(07:34):
with a lot of access and disposable income, I met
her and immediately I knew something different about her and
it made me change the way I approached her.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
In terms of dating. So what was different? Because like,
you was out there? You told me you was in
the streets, was in the streets, You was out there? Lord,
So how does that switch go off? Because you hear
these stories all the time about somebody's I.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Just knew she was one.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
But you still have moments like maybe two years before
you come back together. But you know, I'm married one day,
but you're not ready right then. How could you go
from being a player player so all of a sudden
like this is after just one meeting, this is my wife.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
The environment we met in it was right after the
BT Awards. It was at the mandri On Hotel. It
was a lot of cool. Yeah, did it was? I
mean it was. It was at essentially Beyonce's album release
party when she went solo, her first solo album. And
by the way, Renie used to dance with me. Renie
was dancing with Beyonce at the time, and so I
(08:43):
met her just happenstance. We struck up a conversation, and
the conversation was different. First of all, she wasn't at
the type of party we were at. I mean, everybody
was in there. She just didn't seem like she cared
or wanted to be there. And I was intriguing to
(09:06):
me so much so that when she asked me what
I did, I told her I work in Denver And
I was never one for telling noh, I'm in the
league and this is what I do. I work on Sundays.
And she was just like, oh, okay, and we just
struck up a conversation for about an hour hour and
a half and then the people are with my brother
(09:30):
and my friends. We were all leaving going to another party,
and I remember standing out at valet at the Mandrion
and thinking do I want to go to this party
or do I want to go back in here? And
I don't know, asked her to go get something to eat.
I ran back in and said, hey, what are you doing.
(09:50):
You want to get something to eat? She said, yes,
We left. I boughted my brother's friend's car and we
drove and and went to like a diner and hung
out and talked for the rest of the night.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
You didn't have to go to che She accepted the
diner because you know, some women know Cheess.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
All of this, right, all of this ties into the
type of woman I even know I was looking for.
But it was We went to Swingers on Third, okay, right,
And what you think it is? It's like a norms
Are restaurant right there. No, but it it's like a
(10:30):
little die. It was open late and it was already late,
and we just talked and got to know each other.
And I had never really with no pretense, no any
of that funny thing is all of that. She said, Look,
I gotta leave in the morning at like six am.
(10:50):
Cars coming to get me. She was going to New
York and then they were going overseas, and so I
was like, all right. She was like, you can keep
me company while I pack. End up falling asleep at
her house, woke up, she leaves. I don't see it
for like a month and a half, but we talked
all the time on the phone. Wow. And that was
(11:11):
the first time I had ever courted a girl or dated,
I guess you could say, without having that physical interaction.
So by the time I saw her again, we had
talked so much on the phone that I was in
(11:33):
love with her by the time I even saw her
again for the next time. So it was one of
It was such a unique situation that really made me
look at her more as who she was than this
beautiful five eleven a body that friend. Y'all don't believe me.
Gonna look at the videos, man, I mean you see it,
(11:54):
all of them. Go ahead, she I mean the crazy
in Love video, the baby boy video, all of that,
and you know exactly what I'm talking about. But it
was more about her and who she was opposed to
how beautiful she was, And that's so important because the
physical wasn't there present. Yeah, I mean, I know, I
(12:16):
find she was, but at the same.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Time, because there was not on it, there was no
physical connection. You had to have a mental and emotional bond,
which which worked out for the relationship.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
How much credit would you give to that beginning as
a part of why you guys are still the way
you are now?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Well, I give a lot to it, because, look, we
know how dating is right now, even now more so
than ever, whether it be on the apps or you
meet somebody, the physical interaction is so fast and then
you figure out if you like the person right, you
can hang out and hook up and do all of
(12:53):
that and then be like, yeah, they cool, I'll see
them again. But for us, it was more I got
to know about her family. I got to know how
she grew up. I got to knew how she got
in the dance, the people she had been on tour
with before, Like, she had been touring the world by
the time I met her for five years already five
(13:13):
six years, so she's been around the world on some
of the biggest tours on the planet. And so that
was intriguing to me, and I was like wow, And
I remember thinking, I can't wait to go see her reform.
I had never dated someone i can go watch them
do something. It was always them coming to watch me,
(13:37):
and that was intriguing and I'll never forget. In the
off season, they were in Australia and I said, I'm
coming to Australia. She was like what I said, I'm
Gonnaly to Australia to see you and she was like okay.
(13:58):
And I flew out to Australia to watch her perform
for one day, like they were out there three days
one performance. So I flew to Brisbane, Australia, and I
remember remember Beyonce being like what are you doing here?
And I was like, oh, I'm coming to watch her perform.
(14:21):
And it was weird. It was just like, oh that's crazy,
this is crazy talk. But first of all, that's the
longest flight I've ever been on them all. I was
like seventeen hours or something like that. He was out
there for a day. I was out there for like
three days. Three days okay, And so it literally was
like okay, what are you doing? Like are you this smitten?
(14:44):
Are you this in love, and I had to be
honest with myself.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I was and once again that's what led to the
marriage that was led to the two kids. Beautiful kids.
You guys got eighteen years marriage now. And one thing
about you, man, and always say this, this is what
I always say about E.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
You're a unicorn.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
You're one of the rare brothers out there and I'm
not the brothers and men period out here. And the
entire time you guys have been together, you have not
thought about well, I don't know about that. No say okay,
because this is important, okay about another woman at all?
Nothing has ever come. This man is never cheated a
(15:24):
day in his life. And I love that about him
because I think that's and we'll get deeper into this
because I know I get a reputation for it or whatnot,
and that's what I want to be clear and transparent
about that. But I admire that about you because you know,
this is what I wish would have happened for me.
I wish I wouldn't have made the mistakes that I made.
(15:44):
But I can look to you and I'm like, man,
that's possible. It is possible. Because when I was growing up,
I was taught that the more women you had, the
more of a man you were. And I wish I
wouldn't have had that type of trauma that I had
to try and overcome.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
But where'd that come from? For you? Well, just to
be honest and transparent, because I'm all about honesty. Of course,
I thought about other women. I'm a human being. I'm
attracted to beautiful things. Now my wife has dropped dead
(16:21):
gorgeous still to this day. That doesn't make everybody else ugly.
And I think that's where the misconception really lies. When
people are open and honest about themselves and about their feelings,
I think that's where you can you understand the level
(16:43):
of what being a human being is. Right. So case
in point, the night I met my wife, she said, look,
I don't believe in marriage, I don't believe in monogamy,
and I don't want kids. Wow, we happen to be married,
monogamous and we have two kids. Right, But her being
open and honest about that set a precedent, right, I
(17:08):
told her, Look, I don't drink, I don't smoke, never have,
never will. My only vice is women. So right, then again,
I let her know who I was like the part
that you may want to hide or look. I was like, look,
(17:29):
I'm not distreet. It's not a bunch of women around here.
It's calling me their girlfriends or anything. I'm never like,
I'm not gonna lie to you or anything like that.
And so we started our relationship telling the other person
things that you may not want to say to someone.
I know that they are attractive guys out there that
(17:49):
my wife will see and look like, oh, he's attractive.
As an athlete, there was an abundance of women anywhere
I was, especially during my playing days. My personality, my
size and stature, my occupation that it comes with that.
(18:12):
Now acting on it is something completely different. Of course,
I was attracted to women still, like I didn't meet
her that day and then everything changed. And even after
we got married. I tell people this all the time. Look,
when you get married, they don't give you appeal at
the ceremony to make everyone else unattractive. And if you're
(18:37):
going into it thinking that that's gonna happen, you're going
to bump your head.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
So how do you not act on it, like when
so many of us have failed, Because you know, sisation
is great and I'm like, once again, I'm just keeping
it real and I'm not the person I used to be, obviously,
but I made those.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Mistakes and I've talked about that many times. The one
thing that I knew from our initial meeting was she
was different, she was special. So if she was different
and she was special, how do you treat someone who's
different and special. You treat them different, and you treat
and you treat them specially.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
But when she told you in the beginning, she said
she didn't believe, she didn't believe in kids, she didn't
believe in marriage.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, I didn't concern you know, because I wasn't looking
for a wife, a monogamous relationship, are having kids at
twenty seven years old, I wasn't looking for any of
those things. So how did that change? Though? For her?
It just us getting to know each other. Now we
can grow together, okay, right. I didn't come in there
(19:40):
with unrealistic expectations when I met her, and she didn't
have that with me. She even hit me with the
after we had been dating for like six seven months.
She'd been on tour for a while, and when she
came in town, we'd hang out and have a good time.
It'd be fun and she hit me with this. She said, look, look,
(20:01):
I know that, you know, girls are all around and
all of that, and I get it. I understand. So
I'll offer you this when we're together. We're together, but
when I'm gone and you're playing or you know, you
do you and I do I'll do me. And I said, well,
(20:29):
I said what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I said, what is what is? You do? You mean?
I knew what I do me. I knew what I
was going for. And she was like, you know, I'm
not going to you know, shame you to the house.
You do you, I'll do me. And I said why,
I don't know if I'm okay with that, and like
(20:52):
we've been dating, you know, about six months, and she said, look,
I'm going to ask you this one more time and
if you decline, then we go together. So she said, look,
you do you, I do me. When we get together,
we'll be together. I said, yeah, no, I don't know
(21:13):
if I can sign up for that. And so we
were together.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Bruh.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I think you you probably saw something for a lot
of people out there.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Relationships, you know, like have that boomerang effect for some
women out there, like if they want the man to
commit or even just give them that option and let
them know that, Hey, whatever you're doing out there, everything.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I'm telling you revolves around one thing. Honesty. Yeah, the
first time we met, she was brutally honest about her
her expectations of where she was in her life. I
was honest about mine when she told me six months
in the dating look do you I'll do me. That's honesty, right.
(21:58):
Sometimes if you're honest now, you don't have to worry
about being dishonest later. Oh man, this is something I
had to learn.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Like dating now is like I'm so honest about everything
about where I am.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Well, let's talk about your journey, right, let's let's.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Go. This is a tragedy. So we're gonna go for
this great fairy tale to this tragedy.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Tragedy, no tragedy, because you're still here.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Yeah, a beautiful family, beautiful daughter, two daughters.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And so I just want to know, like, you've been
married three times, three times, divorce three times, divorce three times.
All right, walk us through that, like your your your
approach to dating, marriage, the whole nine yards.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
It's I'm a totally different person now ever since therapy,
writing the book, you discovering all the traumas that I
went through in my life.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
A lot of the things, a lot of the mistakes
that I made, had something to do with my childhood,
my up never seeing love a lot of us though, Yeah, yeah,
for all of us for the most part.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
But the therapy is the why, and you dig and
you find out where it came from. When my mom
wasn't with my dad, the stepdad wasn't the best father
figure in the world as far as like a role model,
So I had no men in my life telling me
what to do.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I never say I never used this as an excuse.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I take accountability for all my actions and the things
I've learned. But you got to understand what the person
was in order to realize why he did certain things
in his life. Once again, not using it as an excuse.
But I never saw love in the household. I never
saw my mom my dad hug each other, tell each
other they loved me child nothing. I just know they
(23:51):
coexist see somewhere.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
But but but once again, it's like I think sometimes
when you put this out here and I put it
in my book, people by the way up open mind's
still out there, still sell them by the way, I
think sometimes when you tell people about your journey, they
don't want to know about the why.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
They just want to say, oh, you did it, and
they want to label you.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
And I still get that, and I understand that, and
I've given people grace because I also understand that when
people find out that I have done something that was
disrespectful to a woman and cheated before whatnot, they're gonna
label you because of some of the things that they've
gone through their own traumas. Maybe they've been cheated on,
maybe their moms cheated on, their uncle's cheated on. So
it doesn't bother me as much when somebody goes off whatever,
(24:32):
But I want people to realize some of the things
that I did in my past. I first of all
acknowledge and I've taken steps to correct, not saying that
I have wings on right now. Still got a lot
of things I got to get through whatever, But I'm
growing into the manhood.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
So when you ask.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Me about my journey. As far as the marriage is concerned,
there were all different reasons. It was military, going over
seas afraid. First one nineteen years old, asked somebody to
marry me. Didn't think she was gonna say yes.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
She said yes. I said, okay, let's just do it.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Second one, going to New York and I had a
long distance relationship. I'm like, hey, you want to come
live with me? She did no, you know what you
got to do if you want to do that right.
Once again, it was not necessarily but it was still me.
I still made the final decisions. I could have said no,
but I didn't. Once again, no regrets. But I wasn't
in love. And I want people to understand and realize
(25:27):
when I say not being in love doesn't mean I
didn't love these people. I wasn't in love because I
didn't know how to be in love. I can't fall
in love because I couldn't trust. I couldn't trust, I
couldn't trust myself. I didn't love myself. I didn't know
them well. And there was something that happened to me
when I was fifteen years old that until I went
(25:47):
to therapy and wrote the book, I didn't realize it
had an effect.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
On all my relationships.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
The first woman I ever told that I loved, and
I'm talking about this the first time I felt that shit,
you know what I mean? Like I remember it was
at a football game. We was outside making out her
brother's car. Luther was playing Luther. In my mind, Luther
was playing Luther.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Was playing this. She was so romantic.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Man. We was drinking wine. Coolest man. I was fifteen,
she was seventeen. Bro, gorgeous girl, findest woman in the
high school.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
And I had her.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
I'm in a sophomore, man, and I'm like, man, I'm
kissing this girl seeing I'm looking at her eyes.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Man.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
And to this day, man still get emotional thinking about that,
because that's the purest love I ever felt in my life.
It was untouched, it was not tampered with, It had
no flaws. It was just like, I love this girl, bro.
And I said, I'm gonna tell her I love her.
And I looked her in her eyes and I said,
I love you with everything.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Just came out.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
And I'm thinking in the movies, I'm thinking we're gonna
hit his music and shitting through firework.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I wasn't gonna go off happily ever after.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
She gonna tell me I love you too and embrace me,
and she was gonna let Man, this girl looked at
me like I farted in her mouth. Oh, this girl,
this girl looked at me and she's like, she said,
let's go just like that.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
And brouh.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I remember I was in I guess I was in
shock because I didn't even know what happened.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Right, go back into the football game, saygabye.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Mom comes pick her up and all that, and she
leaves with her brother obviously in the car. And I
didn't see her the whole weekend. Right, it's Friday, Monday.
We get back to school. I remember this girl named
Karen West. I say her name, Karen West. Came to
be in my locker, and she said, you and so
and so still together? And see the girl's name, You
and so and so still together? I said yeah, she said,
kind of gave me another look like like I know
(27:38):
something you don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Man.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I'm walking down the hallway about an hour later the
next this period, and I just.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
See people looking at me.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
People like looking at me like they know something, right,
And all of a sudden, I see walking around the
corner is my girlfriend that I think holding hands with somebody.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
I didn't even know that we had broken up. I
was fifteen years old. I was crushed first of all
by her saying that once again, but thinking Okay, we're
still together because she told me we broke up or whatever,
and then she's moved on with somebody else and didn't
even tell me and broken up.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
She's moved on that fast.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
After I told this girl with all my heart how
much I did not realize that moment and how much
it affected me from I could not trust anybody. I
couldn't trust anybody, and I was paranoid that if I
didn't have a backup plan that.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
You know, I was gonna be made a fool of.
I was a fool. I was made a full of
Once again, people are gonna say this all that happened.
We was fifteen years old. Women go through this all
the time, we get heartbroken or whatever.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
But I'm gonna tell you right now, when men get
emotionally crushed, you know this, we can't handle that shit.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Man, man, we really it affects us for a long time.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
And so until I realized that's the reason that happened,
I actually had to hit this girl up and hit
her and say, hey, you know, she was following me
on Instagram and Twitter seeing my life and like liking shit,
and I'm like, okay, she see the life I lived.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Oh, she she came back back. No, she well, she
wasn't like she was you. No, she's married, she had
married to a ministry and all that stuff like that,
beautiful kids, whatever. But she was following me, and I'm like, okay,
so I'm like you following me. You see, I'm on
I'm on network television. I'm doing things. You doing it,
I'm doing it. So I'm thinking, okay, well she see
the life she could have had or whatever.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
She still looked good by the way, man, and I
actually hit her on the DMS man. And when I
started going through my therapy, and I said, I don't
know if you realize this, but I explained the whole situation,
and she's just like, I am so sorry, I am
so sorry that happened.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
I was going she said, she was going through a
lot of shit. Of course, she's a kid. She seen
she was seventeen.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
She said, when you told me that, she said, I
couldn't take it because I couldn't accept love because of
some shit that was happening in her house.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
When you said what, I immediately, as a grown up,
you can see that. Yep. So she couldn't exist. So
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
But I didn't really all this time, thirty some years later,
I had no clue.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
How how cathartic and how releasing was that.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
That was so releasing, and it made once again, that's
what I'm saying, like the power of therapy.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yeah, the power of going through this.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
And that's why I'm so so much of an advocate
for mental health and going to find out why you
do what you're doing, the mistakes that you may not
only hurt yourself but hurting the other people around you.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Man. So you know, once again, it allowed me to
actually marry.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Cynthia and well, I'm gonna talk about how I mess
Cynthia and we'll get to number three.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
We'll get to number three in a second.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
But it allowed me to open up because after my
second marriage, I was like, man, I'm never getting married.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah, we talked about that. Yeah, like I'm done. I
don't know what happened. I ain't nobody in the world.
I'm done with this alimony. I was like, all right, man,
I was gonna be in the club.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Come on, Oh, I was gonna be that old man
messed with these twenty year olds.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
I was gonna be that girl. I'm just saying I'm
being honest with you being transparent, right.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
But because of that man, going through that and realizing
like it made me open up. It made me realize, hey,
I can't do it again. And so we're working on
a radio show on Farm Sports Radio. I said, and
you come in one day and you say, hey, man,
would you ever go on a dating show?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I did say that. I said. A good friend who's
a producer of mine called me and said, hey, we're
doing this dating segment on the Steve Harvey Show, and
do you know anybody who would want to date Real
(31:38):
Housewives of Atlanta? And I was like, oh, well, which one?
And I said the same thing? Which one I knew?
And he was like Cynthia Bailey. So I was like, oh,
I know a perfect person. You're the first person that
popped into really so I hit you. I called you.
You said which one? Which one? I said, Cynthia Bailey?
(31:59):
You was like yeah, I called him back. Do y'all
get married? Bruh?
Speaker 3 (32:05):
I mean, so we go on the show and let
me tell you how this almost didn't ask man? So
I go on the show, do the producer thing whatnot?
I gotta go to work later that Yeah, you on TV.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
You'm on TV. I got a cold time. Later that
night at six o'clock, I gotta be there. I'm on
the air.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Got stuff to do, I got things to do. They
run behind that day, I mean Steve's TV, Steve Hallway's birthday, Sally,
So the production was run behind, and I kept telling
the producer, I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
She's cool, but I got a job. I on this woman.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Yeah right, And they said no, please. They were about
to go about to go about the table, about the tape,
and so go through the whole process. Obviously I won
the dating show whatever. I hugged this woman and I said,
I gotta go. I gotta go to work. I thought
I was never gonna see her again. I thought I
was never gonna see her again. And then two weeks later,
after I work whatever, the producers called me back and
(32:56):
they said, no, she really wants to go on a
date with you.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Now.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Unbeknownst to me, they told her the same thing that
I wanted to go on today with her.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, they had to finish the production, Man, TV. I
should have known that the producer was full of shit. Whatever,
But it worked out, man, and it was a slow burn.
It worked out, or whatever. Man.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
But one of the things I will say, man, because
you know I had the red flags.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yes, you know you're a good guy.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
You know, people will see you and your reputation, you know, sterling,
you know, background or whatever and stuff like that. Great
for everybody, but for me, when you are labeled with
those red flags, no matter how once you've changed, how far.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
You want to go, people still see the unhealed version
of of course. And that's the nature that still affects
me to this day.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
And I got to be honest, man, in the beginning,
it was hurtful because I don't know how many relationships
it could have affected.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, So those red flags have an effect on you
moving forward.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
And even when you meet somebody, you know, all of
a sudden, you could be having a great time.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
They might not know who you are at that moment.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I know, I've had plenty of situations where I've met
a young lady being who I am before, and I'll
be very transparent if I had to be about my background.
I'm not gonna spill all the beings all at once.
But we have a great conversation and get the phone
number or whatever, and she wants the phone number and
she's all excited, and then all of a sudden you
never hear from it because somebody said, oh you met Mike,
(34:24):
Oh you know blah.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
Blah blah blah, and all of a sudden you get
that reputation. But once again, I always feel like, what's
for you.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Is for you anyway, Well, there's no We live in
a society where redemption is fleeting right and growth is
not as accepted as it should be, Especially when it
comes to relationships. You will hear terms I wants a cheater,
are always a cheater. But if I cheated on my girlfriend,
I'm fifteen years old and I'm forty five, does that
(34:53):
mean I'm a cheater? Still something I did when Like so,
there's no room for mistakes when it comes to relationships,
and I think that's the biggest thing that my wife
and I the first thing we did when we got
(35:15):
engaged after a year of dating is we talked about
our deal breakers. And I would implore anyone in a
serious relationship thinking about marriage are being together with their
significant other to talk about their deal breakers. Meaning we
(35:36):
decided once we were gonna get married. We were gonna
take divorce off the table, right. My father had been
married four times, my hero, right, and I knew for
a fact I wasn't gonna do that. And so we
talked about deal breakers and what I mean by deal
(35:56):
breaks things that the other person could do to in
the relationship. So my deal breaker was looking, I'm Muslim, right,
and my faith is very important to me who I
am as a man, and so there would be no
undermining my religion in any shape, way or form, which
(36:16):
most I'm sure most people have that opinion. Family is
also very important to me, And so I was just
labeling out some of my deal breakers, and she gave
me her deal breaker, and her number one deal breaker
was disloyalty, being disloyal, and she even clarified it, she said,
(36:41):
and fidelity is not a deal breaker, Being disloyal is.
And I'll explain, Say, I did mess up and I
stepped out on her, and people knew about it, and
she the only one that didn't know about it. So
(37:03):
I had her looking like a fool. And I think
most people hearing this would understand that, like, that's a problem,
because now, not only did you step out on her,
but now you didn't care enough about her to stop
her from walking into having others look at her like
she's an idiot. Those are the things right there. They
(37:26):
show a level of caring and compassion that if you
don't have for her, then you'll have her looking like
a fool. And she was like, if you look, we're human,
And I talked about it earlier. We're human, we have urges,
we have things, all of that. I can understand that
you got to talk to me about it, right. You
(37:46):
got to be open and if you have an urge,
if there's something going on, we need to talk about
it and we can come up. We can come up
with whatever solution that is. But if you're out there
doing things and it comes back to me in a
way that makes me feel insecure about us, I can't
(38:11):
deal with that. Right. It's a breach of trust and loyalty.
And I understood what that meant, right. And the thing
that really sets I believe our relationship with part is
we have these open and honest conversations, very uncomfortable for
(38:32):
some couples. Right seven years into our us being together,
we're driving in the car and she says, oh, so,
what's going on. You know what, I just feel like
I just want somebody else on me. And I was like,
wait a minute, hold, but just hearing that, you be like,
(38:53):
oh what, and so how do you take that mean?
Because I take it there? So this is my best friend, right,
your boy? You can tell me that. Yeah, Like if
you married, you can come up to me and say, dame,
but I mean, I love her, but I sometimes I
just want to, you know, get somebody else's. You can
tell me that, and I can give you my honest
(39:14):
opinion or whatever, right, and it be that just that
we're not in a relationship, but as your best friend,
I can give you. We can talk about that. That
is my best friend. She is my best friend. I'm
her best friend.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
So but we know there are repercussions for saying things
like I think that's what we fear because that's the
way that you That's the point.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
If you really your best friend, if your significant others
really your best friend, they talk to them like that,
you can't handle that because they feel like they're going
to hurt someone else's feelings. And they may be right,
because their relationships may not have been built on the
foundation of trust and support as they matter thought. So
(40:01):
I said, okay, well what do you mean by that?
She said, well, I missed that interaction. When you're you know,
at the club, at the bar or something, you meet somebody,
you have chemistry similar to how we met right that
you know initial will you kiss? Will you not kiss?
That energy? I missed that. And I said, look, I
get it. I could never give you that again. If
(40:25):
that's something you're looking for and you need, we can
talk about it. She was like, no, I'm not saying
it like that, but just us having that open dialogue
about it it changed everything. I mean, but you know,
that's a lot of maturity comes to that.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
And that's why I give you so much credit, man,
And like you can start roll playing and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
You can it looks like you don't know each other
at the club you do things like that. I mean
that that can't kind of keep his spicy. Understand that.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
But for the most part, a lot of people, a
lot of people can't handle that.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
And and once again, I think that's what makes your relationship.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
You're so special. I'm gonna tell you something I never
told anybody. I'm gonna share it right here. Is when
me and Cynthia. I remember there was something that came
out in the blogs, and it was a lie, you know,
like saying somebody said I was out there sexting and
doing all that time of straight up line, just straight
up line. Now I have I sex before, yes, but
this not happened me, you know, this person or whatever.
(41:21):
But it's in the blogs and people talking, and when
people do that type of stuff, it does get into
the mind of your spouns, especially when you have a
reputation in those flags whatever.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
And I'm never saying that I was an angel, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Early on in my relationship with Cynthia or whatever, some
things popped off whatever. Never cheated, you know what I mean,
But it was like inappropriate texting and all that type
of stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
But never say.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
What this was was was straight out of bounds and
just a straight up lie. And it affected us and
it affected her, especially because it got into her head
because now all of a sudden people really started to
talk to her and she even said, she said, shit,
do you want to be in an open relationship?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
She asked me if I want to be? And it
hit me. I'm like, no, I really just want you.
But you start thinking about these things.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Of course, if that's what but once again I appreciate
her for coming to tell me, Hey, if this is
how you're feeling, let's just be totally transparent and honest
about that.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
And if we need to be in an open relationship
to say the marriage, if that's what you wanted, that's
what you're desiring, then let's do it. But obviously that's
not what I want. Well, I think just hearing that
and understanding that and viewers and listeners, Look, if you're
going to be with someone and you say you consider
your significant other your best friend, then feel comfortable having
(42:45):
conversations with your best friend, and instead of repressing things
that will maybe later manifest somewhere down the line in
the relationship, be open and talk about them. You be
surprised on once you start broaching these conversations, just like
(43:07):
you would talk about finances or raising kids or anything
like that. Be open to talking about your feelings your desires.
Don't fall victim to feeling like you should be in
a relationship a certain type of way, because number one,
(43:29):
you know, all marriages are different. Marriage is what you,
as a couple make it. You set your own parameters,
your own guidelines, your own emotional thread. All of those
things are important. So if you're both on the same page,
you have a better opportunity of having a successful marriage.
(43:53):
My wife and I, like I said, eighteen years married,
we have these open dialogues all the time we have
been We've been on black Love, we talked about it,
We've done these We've done the work right. I go
to therapy like I'm in therapy now, and everybody needs
(44:14):
to individual and it's it's it's a way for me
to make sure I can give her the best meat. Right.
I know that I could be a bit much so
in order for me to be the best husband and
the best father I could be. Yeah, it's things I
need to work on as an individual that bring that
(44:34):
I bring into it to the family. And I'm okay
with that. I don't feel any a shame. I don't
feel a shamed or any less of a man. I
feel more of a man recognizing the fact that there
is some work that I need to get done and
and because it's only gonna make me, I don't care
what happens outside my household. Brother, I am firmly cemented
(44:56):
in what's going on inside my home and how I
could be the best me for them I could be.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
And men that realize that got to realize it's not
weakness that is working. Come on, and I know we
got to get into the unfiltered segment. We've got to
wrap things up, man. But and that goes beyond marriage
real quick. About the transparency, man, I think even when
you're dating somebody, and I think on both ends, when
a man says what he wants, women should listen to
(45:23):
what he wants as far as where he is. Yeah,
don't try and make it something that is not you know,
both ways, you know what I mean. So if a
man says all I want is this, listen to him
Because a lot of times you can be in a
situation with a woman and you could be a nice guy.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You can have sex with this person or whatever.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
You can have a good relationship, going dates, whatever, and
the woman will take it as if, hey, well he
wants to be my boyfriend because he's doing boyfriend and stuff.
You know, maybe he's just being nice. But if he's
telling you all he wants, listen to that. But also,
as a man, if.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
You don't want more, please don't lead somebody down the
wrong path right and as a woman are as a man,
you're absolutely right. Don't settle for something you you don't want.
Don't sign up for something that you you want to
reneg on and you ain't got to go up the
goods or something like if the goods belong to the boyfriend,
(46:15):
don't give up the goods because the man's gonna take it.
People gonna take whatever they gave. Man, be who you
are and be okay with that. Yep.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
I can give a relationship. I always tell people all
the time, Ghip, you have enough experience.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
I can tell you what what not to do.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
And with the mistakes that I've made and the things
I've said. So I hate when people say I can't
let don't listen to the messages. Sometimes you gotta listen
to the message.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Gotta listen to the message yourself. We got the last segment.
It's called Unfiltered. This is gonna be a staple of
our show at the end of the thing. So we'll
ask all the guests whatever I'm gonna ask you, since
we are our own guests on our own show.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Give me that one time when you knew you had
done there, you had been there, I think think I
think it was. It was. Since we're talking about relationships,
it was a time I was at a very exclusive party,
(47:14):
very exclusive, I'm talking about beyond exclusive. And it was
a situation where it was an individual there who fancied me.
And this is pre opposed wedding, this is post West, okay.
(47:34):
And the situation was set up to where whatever happened,
it would have just been there. Nobody would in the
world except for me and God. And I went and
I told my wife. I didn't act on it, but
(47:58):
I went and I told my wife, and it was
silence on the phone, and she said, uh, that's tough,
that's tough to hear. But I appreciate you being open
and honest with you.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
And why was it tough for her to hear when
you didn't end on it, because you, first of all,
emotions are emotions, So you told her emotionally. You was.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
If someone comes to you your significant other and says, look,
this situation was crazy, you know it was whatever was,
I was open and honest. I was like, this was
my type would have been perfect in it. Like you,
nobody wants to feel or hear about their significant other,
even being a message being in that situation, it's tough
(48:48):
to hear. And I had said earlier in our relationship,
I said, every day it's a challenge to be faithful.
And she got mad at that, and I said, you're
misunderstanding what I'm saying. I said, every days a challenge
to be faithful, because temptation comes at you and droves,
(49:10):
especially when you're happy and comfortable. I said, but it's
a challenge that I'm willing to step up to and
fight every single day. And she understood that part of
it that meant you're worth fighting for me. Ignoring are
(49:32):
giving the opinion that temptation didn't exist, was lying.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
Me.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
Telling her that wasn't to make her feel a certain
type of way. It was for me to let her
know I'm in this fight forever, for the long haul,
and the long you're together, the easier temptation is. But
this was one of those moments that where I was like, WHOA,
this could have went left right, This really could have
went left. But what it did for us in our relationship,
(50:03):
it brought us closer together because this was a situation
where nobody, I'm telling you, it would have never because
they had a lot to lose. I had a lot
to lose. It was just one of those things and
I chose us over it and it made me. It
(50:27):
made me stronger in our relationship. It made our relationship stronger,
but it also reaffirmed what I was doing and what
I was trying to do, and that's I want to
do this the right way, and that that is something
that that really helped build the foundation of the type
of husband that I don't want to be in, a
(50:50):
type of you know, father that I'm trying to raise
my kids and show them that their love is possible,
and this is all you know, that's one of the
situations that really was a pillar of our the strength
and our marriage. And that's why you're so happy now.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
And that's why it's good that your boys see that too,
and it's good that you have boys and you can
see that love. Once again, going back to my situation
growing up not seeing any love and the house. I
see how you love on your niece, and I see
how she loves back on you, and how you guys
support us, support and appreciate one another. That is your
queen and you are her king, and your boys see that,
and that's the way they're gonna listen.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
To that point. I tell people this whole time, there's
not a woman on this planet that I treat better
than my wife, not my mama, not my sister, not
if people, if men, if husbands would understand that there's
not a woman on this planet earth that can say
(51:46):
that I treat them better than my wife. If you
can have that, and if vice versa, you can cut
a lot of the nonsense out right right. Ain't no secrets. Man,
We look, we in this together, and you're supposed to
be just a union, it's a marriage. So before you start,
(52:08):
since we're co hosting, give me from you that moment
where you've done there and been that. So similar to
what you're talking about. This is what changed my life.
Speaker 3 (52:22):
You're talking about keeping somebody happy one of the things
I learned, and I learned this after the fact, but
this is what changed my life and my perspective about
how to treat people now once again, meeting Cynthia and
being with Cynthia, loved her. The first time I was
able to try and fall in love whatnot. But I
still hadn't gone to therapy yet. I was in the
(52:44):
midst of starting to write the book, and realizing some
of the things that had happened just from writing a
book kind of helped me unveil some of the trauma
A fifteen year old being able to do that open up.
But once again, I hadn't eel and I didn't know
how to move forward. So the whole thing was And
another thing I was taught was at an early age,
like if a woman wants to do something with you, you're.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Supposed to do it.
Speaker 3 (53:07):
So my dad taught me that taught me that. It's
the longest in the book. I ain't don I don't
have enough time to talk about this, but if a
woman wanted to do something, be a man to do it.
Like That's why I was talking. I was nine years
old at the time, and it always stuck me. So
I've always been the type of person that always wanted
if it was a woman, I had to please her
in some certain kind and maybe not have sex with
or anything like that, but if there was something that
(53:29):
she wanted or needed, I wanted to make her happy.
Even if I didn't like her, might not even be
attracted to her, but I'm still gonna flirt make her
feel good about it. Hey, you know, Hey, thank you
for liking me, whatever, And so sometimes there was early
on our relationship with Cynthia, you know, I want some debris,
I say that like that, that I'm loving this woman.
(53:52):
But once again people will come and flirting and stuff
like that, so inappropriate, Hey hey dog, y'ah yeah, beautiful
and all.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
That type stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
And i'mmitting this and I'm being honest because I had
to move forward.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
And move this, but it almost cost me every time.
Speaker 3 (54:07):
And my girls, who had gone through the traumas of
me and their moms had already seen what I had
done with relationships before. And they're growing up and now
they're almost adults and they've gone through relationships and they've
been hurt themselves, and now they're seeing some of the
guys that they were dating that was hurting them and
they're looking at me.
Speaker 1 (54:29):
And when.
Speaker 3 (54:42):
And when that became a parent, bro, it almost lost
my kids.
Speaker 1 (54:53):
That's definitely. I'm sorry. No, No, that's what.
Speaker 3 (54:56):
The That's who made me realize that, you know, it
was a breaking point.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Yeah, it's like, I gotta go get therapy. I gotta
go get.
Speaker 3 (55:05):
Help, because I don't get help, I'm gonna lose everybody.
I've already lost myself another person I want to be because.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
There are a lot of things I don't want to do.
Speaker 3 (55:17):
And yeah, I'm not doing what I used to do,
but I'm not doing all the right things I need
to be doing. It's almost like somebody equated to like
being on crack right and saying, I'm not doing crack anymore,
but you're drinking all the time, you know what I mean,
You're still not in your right mind. So I'm not
doing that. So at least I'm not screwing anybody doing this,
(55:38):
but I'm holding on to something. And once again, that
was me not trusting. So until I went to therapy, man,
until my kids basically told me, hey, you know, they
didn't want to have anything to do with me.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Sent there was there and supporting.
Speaker 3 (55:51):
And everything like that whatnot, but it was like still
early on before we got married and all that, and
I almost lost all that.
Speaker 1 (55:58):
It made me say, you.
Speaker 3 (55:59):
Know what, let me go find out how to fix this,
me get through why, and let me address this and
let me move forward. And it changed my life. So
when I say done, there been that I was there.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
Yeah I was that, but I'm not anymore.
Speaker 3 (56:15):
I'm a different person, and I know once again people
want to hold onto that and it will continue to
hold on to that. But I know who I am now,
and so it doesn't bother me anymore when somebody wants
to relive and always think about my past when I
talk about it, I'm not afraid to talk about it
because one of the reasons I want to do these
type of podcasts and use my platform to talk and
(56:35):
be so transparent about my past because I made mistakes.
But I want people out there to realize that you
might make the same mistakes about me. And if I
can use my platform to talk about some of the
things I had to overcome and some of the mistakes
I made and once again not blaming anybody for him,
but saying how I did it. Yeah, if I did it,
you can do it too. And I need to help
(56:57):
the future generations from not doing this same things that
I did, because I don't want them to be talked
the way I was talking.
Speaker 1 (57:03):
Well, it's it's hope, right, It's hope, And no matter
how old you are, there's always time. And I want
to appreciate you being so open and honest. It's emotional,
and this is one of those podcasts. But sometimes you
don't laugh, sometimes.
Speaker 3 (57:25):
You don't cry. But whatever emotion this evokes, it's gonna
be real. Yeah, And that's what we're trying to do
here with this, That's what it is all real.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
Man. But once again, man, I love you, bro, I
love you man. I love you man.
Speaker 3 (57:38):
I say that like you my brother, and I feel
like I can come to you for anything. And I'm
happy that we're going on this venture and this journey together.
It's gonna be great, man. We're gonna have a good
time absolutely all right. So, like you said, we won't
be crying all the time. But I'm not afraid of
the proud of this thing. I shouldn't have said I'm
sorry because.
Speaker 1 (57:54):
I think once getting that's work. But I feel like,
you know, we have the as brothers.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
Nderstand that those emotions are in us and we keep
it inside of us or we're not allowed to.
Speaker 1 (58:05):
Now that that emotion come out.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
It comes out as toxic yep, and that can affect
the people around that set toxic masculine even talking about
we'll get into those conversations as well, man, But let
me clear it up so I.
Speaker 1 (58:16):
Can say goodbye properly.
Speaker 3 (58:17):
Uh, This has been the first edition of Done there
have been that podcast, Me and my Man Eating Salam.
Thank you so much for joining us on this. It's
gonna be a rid, it's gonna be a journey. It's
gonna be real. Like I said, it's gonna be a
lot of fun. We got some great guests coming up.
We got Jail Hill coming up soon and my Man
Major and many many more. So still tune in, check
in our heart radio anywhere podcasts are subscribe.
Speaker 1 (58:41):
Please subscribe, like and tell a friends, click like. Whatever
it is y'all do with them buttons hit all of them. Man,
We're trying to make this happen. It's for y'all. This
is it's real. Putting it out there, put it out
there on the line. Mom, I love you all right,
We love you too, baby, y'all.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
This is being collective, part us, a connected, perfective, real
line perspective, perspective. Defense of the ship Shad No Captain's
big facts are kicked back just here.
Speaker 1 (59:06):
Every thunder been there
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is the Inflection collective part for us, A connected, reflective,
real perspective, respected defense, a shit shat no captains.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Big facts of kicks back. It's here for Sunday. It's
been that and we are back under done.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
There have been that podcast brought to you by our
Heart Radio and the Inflection Network. I'm your host, Mike
Hill hanging out and I'm so happy for this iteration
of this podcast because I get to do it with
one of my best friends in the world, not just
a colleague, a very accomplished man, my brother.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I from Salam. What's up E? How you doing? Man?
I'm honored to be here. Like you said, I'm I
from Salam, a thirteen year NFL VET, TV writer, film producer,
and a lot of other things. I've done there and
been that, and I'm happy to be a part of this. Man.
You reached out to me and I immediately said yes,
(00:54):
and I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
I couldn't think of anybody better man to do this
with because we've both been on a lot of Germany
and this is what the show is all about. By transparency,
about talking about some of the things that we see
in headlines, with entertainers, celebrities, athletes, whatever, and the things
that they go through and.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
A lot of times they get judged on social media.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Well, this is the way we can give our perspective
on some of those headlines that are out there or
some of those topics that are out there, and give
our perspective of what we've gone through and how we've overcome.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Of course, and it won't just be us, right, We'll
have some of the biggest names in sports, entertainment and
politics gracing are set and we'll hear some of the
ways that they've done there have been that and.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It's gonna be transparently. Tell you, one thing's gonna be
This is gonna be real. It's gonna get rid of it.
That's what I love about Bernie Max Man. Bernie Max's real,
authentic people. Man, That's what we want in this podcast.
None of that bull man. But one of the things,
once again, I felt like we could do this because
(01:56):
I don't look at you as a colleague.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I don't look at you.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
I know you're producing everything and I'm I'm so proud
of all your accomplishments, man, but you know you're my
big little brother. Yes, because believe it or not, he
was younger than me. You're young to me and you
just six eight, you know. But we go way back, man,
I mean we go back, man, maybe.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Almost like twenty I don't know when you got out
the NFL. Yeah, it's like twenty years. Wow, it's been
that long.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I remember seeing you the first time at ESPN when
you came through on the car wash. Man, I should
remember how good gary as you were and just how
friendly you were. And you know a lot of athletes
would come up there being an ankle or whatever, but
you were just like it was almost like you had
known me for ten years. I know you treat everybody
like that, but I felt special because it was a
respect thing.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Right. I've been watching you all I was playing, and
just the level of professional of professionalism you always had, yeah, man,
but you also were real, you know what I mean.
So the person you see on the show is the
person that you are, man, you know what I mean.
You bring your flair, you bring your energy. So when
(02:59):
we met, I was like, oh, it's like I know
you right like you were meeting me, but I already
knew you, and so I just fell right into being
comfortable on the show with you, and that really is
what started our chemistry together in this relationship. And we've
you know, you didn't work at ESPN now you turned
down esp I couldn't convince my wife, after following me
(03:22):
around the league the last six years, to move to Connecticut.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
So move from LA you got the goes out.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
We weren't gonna do it, like I didn't even I
didn't even broach the subject with her. You never even
told I never even told her because I was told
by the higher up student they love me. They usually
want their new guys to commit three four days a
week in Connecticut and move out. And and I was
thinking to myself, how am I going to sell this?
(03:55):
Like we were getting ready to start a family. Uh,
And I didn't want to go home and and seemed
like I was being insensitive to what we wanted to
do together.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
So I didn't even tell her about it. Wow wow,
but you know it worked to help. Look at where
you are now. We worked at FOT Sports together. We
launched it, we launched that thing, we.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Launched FS one.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
We would have beginning building on our back and our
backs built on our backs and had a good time.
Put the chemistry going even did a radio show on
Fox Sports Radio supposed to be a sports radio show.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
We talked about everything by sports. It was almost It's
probably why they took it away from it. I think
is the reason why I don't work radio, because we
were you know, tapped into real life conversations about you know, you,
about me, are you know, our journeys, uh, dating, marriage, relationships,
(04:53):
all of those things, And to me, it seemed more
compelling than just talking about what happened in the game before,
what was happening and then in the game now, uh,
which is probably not the right conversation for a sports
radio but but you know, here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
What we did is we took that sports content and
made it relatably that's true to people outside of the
world sports suit Man, which I think is.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Actually a great idea. It's hard to do, and to
have two people on the same page doing that. It
just goes to show the chemistry that we got to
get and we're gonna have this.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
It's gonna be hopefully a long running relationship on this show.
But are no even beyond the show. Our relationship is
going to continue. Of course, you got friends and reason
season and you got lifetime friends and my brother, I
can side you a lifetime friend because it's true love
and happiness.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I respect then to what everything that you're doing, I
know you do the same of course, man. Like I'm
I'm a fan. I'm a Mike Hill fan. And anything
I you've ever asked or anything we've come up with together,
I've always been down. That's just what that's who I
am as a person. Yeah, you are, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Between the two of us, by by the way, we
like talking about relationship, ships and whatever, because we got
forty years of marriage experience between the two of us.
Forty years of marriage experience. Now that's over four weddings and.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Four mayor.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
More of them by me, I been him, and let's
just say we're not splitting them.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
You had one and I've had three that didn't work out.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
But you know one thing I love about I man,
and it will get more into Like you were.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Responsible for the last marriage, by the way, I was
you were we're talking. I don't know it, you know,
apologized for that. It was it was an experience.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
It was something that you know, like I said, we
have no regrets, man, we just have life lessons that
we learned. Out here, man. But you've been married to
release for eighteen years, eighteen years, eighteen years. Just celebrated
eighteen years married, twenty one years.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Together twenty one years ago, and you knew the first
time you met her, oh, that you was going to
marry this woman. So I had been the League six
years already, and so I had had access to a
lot of different type of women. And the night I
(07:14):
met her, I said to myself, well, I've never met
anybody like this before, and I was. I just turned
twenty seven. And it's funny because I thank god that
had the maturity not to mess it up. Because being
steep into the as a single man in the league
(07:34):
with a lot of access and disposable income, I met
her and immediately I knew something different about her and
it made me change the way I approached her.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
In terms of dating. So what was different? Because like,
you was out there? You told me you was in
the streets, was in the streets, You was out there? Lord,
So how does that switch go off? Because you hear
these stories all the time about somebody's I.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Just knew she was one.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
But you still have moments like maybe two years before
you come back together. But you know, I'm married one day,
but you're not ready right then. How could you go
from being a player player so all of a sudden
like this is after just one meeting, this is my wife.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
The environment we met in it was right after the
BT Awards. It was at the mandri On Hotel. It
was a lot of cool. Yeah, did it was? I
mean it was. It was at essentially Beyonce's album release
party when she went solo, her first solo album. And
by the way, Renie used to dance with me. Renie
was dancing with Beyonce at the time, and so I
(08:43):
met her just happenstance. We struck up a conversation, and
the conversation was different. First of all, she wasn't at
the type of party we were at. I mean, everybody
was in there. She just didn't seem like she cared
or wanted to be there. And I was intriguing to
(09:06):
me so much so that when she asked me what
I did, I told her I work in Denver And
I was never one for telling noh, I'm in the
league and this is what I do. I work on Sundays.
And she was just like, oh, okay, and we just
struck up a conversation for about an hour hour and
a half and then the people are with my brother
(09:30):
and my friends. We were all leaving going to another party,
and I remember standing out at valet at the Mandrion
and thinking do I want to go to this party
or do I want to go back in here? And
I don't know, asked her to go get something to eat.
I ran back in and said, hey, what are you doing.
(09:50):
You want to get something to eat? She said, yes,
We left. I boughted my brother's friend's car and we
drove and and went to like a diner and hung
out and talked for the rest of the night.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
You didn't have to go to che She accepted the
diner because you know, some women know Cheess.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
All of this, right, all of this ties into the
type of woman I even know I was looking for.
But it was We went to Swingers on Third, okay, right,
And what you think it is? It's like a norms
Are restaurant right there. No, but it it's like a
(10:30):
little die. It was open late and it was already late,
and we just talked and got to know each other.
And I had never really with no pretense, no any
of that funny thing is all of that. She said, Look,
I gotta leave in the morning at like six am.
(10:50):
Cars coming to get me. She was going to New
York and then they were going overseas, and so I
was like, all right. She was like, you can keep
me company while I pack. End up falling asleep at
her house, woke up, she leaves. I don't see it
for like a month and a half, but we talked
all the time on the phone. Wow. And that was
(11:11):
the first time I had ever courted a girl or dated,
I guess you could say, without having that physical interaction.
So by the time I saw her again, we had
talked so much on the phone that I was in
(11:33):
love with her by the time I even saw her
again for the next time. So it was one of
It was such a unique situation that really made me
look at her more as who she was than this
beautiful five eleven a body that friend. Y'all don't believe me.
Gonna look at the videos, man, I mean you see it,
(11:54):
all of them. Go ahead, she I mean the crazy
in Love video, the baby boy video, all of that,
and you know exactly what I'm talking about. But it
was more about her and who she was opposed to
how beautiful she was, And that's so important because the
physical wasn't there present. Yeah, I mean, I know, I
(12:16):
find she was, but at the same.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Time, because there was not on it, there was no
physical connection. You had to have a mental and emotional bond,
which which worked out for the relationship.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
How much credit would you give to that beginning as
a part of why you guys are still the way
you are now?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Well, I give a lot to it, because, look, we
know how dating is right now, even now more so
than ever, whether it be on the apps or you
meet somebody, the physical interaction is so fast and then
you figure out if you like the person right, you
can hang out and hook up and do all of
(12:53):
that and then be like, yeah, they cool, I'll see
them again. But for us, it was more I got
to know about her family. I got to know how
she grew up. I got to knew how she got
in the dance, the people she had been on tour
with before, Like, she had been touring the world by
the time I met her for five years already five
(13:13):
six years, so she's been around the world on some
of the biggest tours on the planet. And so that
was intriguing to me, and I was like wow, And
I remember thinking, I can't wait to go see her reform.
I had never dated someone i can go watch them
do something. It was always them coming to watch me,
(13:37):
and that was intriguing and I'll never forget. In the
off season, they were in Australia and I said, I'm
coming to Australia. She was like what I said, I'm
Gonnaly to Australia to see you and she was like okay.
(13:58):
And I flew out to Australia to watch her perform
for one day, like they were out there three days
one performance. So I flew to Brisbane, Australia, and I
remember remember Beyonce being like what are you doing here?
And I was like, oh, I'm coming to watch her perform.
(14:21):
And it was weird. It was just like, oh that's crazy,
this is crazy talk. But first of all, that's the
longest flight I've ever been on them all. I was
like seventeen hours or something like that. He was out
there for a day. I was out there for like
three days. Three days okay, And so it literally was
like okay, what are you doing? Like are you this smitten?
(14:44):
Are you this in love, and I had to be
honest with myself.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I was and once again that's what led to the
marriage that was led to the two kids. Beautiful kids.
You guys got eighteen years marriage now. And one thing
about you, man, and always say this, this is what
I always say about E.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
You're a unicorn.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
You're one of the rare brothers out there and I'm
not the brothers and men period out here. And the
entire time you guys have been together, you have not
thought about well, I don't know about that. No say okay,
because this is important, okay about another woman at all?
Nothing has ever come. This man is never cheated a
(15:24):
day in his life. And I love that about him
because I think that's and we'll get deeper into this
because I know I get a reputation for it or whatnot,
and that's what I want to be clear and transparent
about that. But I admire that about you because you know,
this is what I wish would have happened for me.
I wish I wouldn't have made the mistakes that I made.
(15:44):
But I can look to you and I'm like, man,
that's possible. It is possible. Because when I was growing up,
I was taught that the more women you had, the
more of a man you were. And I wish I
wouldn't have had that type of trauma that I had
to try and overcome.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
But where'd that come from? For you? Well, just to
be honest and transparent, because I'm all about honesty. Of course,
I thought about other women. I'm a human being. I'm
attracted to beautiful things. Now my wife has dropped dead
(16:21):
gorgeous still to this day. That doesn't make everybody else ugly.
And I think that's where the misconception really lies. When
people are open and honest about themselves and about their feelings,
I think that's where you can you understand the level
(16:43):
of what being a human being is. Right. So case
in point, the night I met my wife, she said, look,
I don't believe in marriage, I don't believe in monogamy,
and I don't want kids. Wow, we happen to be married,
monogamous and we have two kids. Right, But her being
open and honest about that set a precedent, right, I
(17:08):
told her, Look, I don't drink, I don't smoke, never have,
never will. My only vice is women. So right, then again,
I let her know who I was like the part
that you may want to hide or look. I was like, look,
(17:29):
I'm not distreet. It's not a bunch of women around here.
It's calling me their girlfriends or anything. I'm never like,
I'm not gonna lie to you or anything like that.
And so we started our relationship telling the other person
things that you may not want to say to someone.
I know that they are attractive guys out there that
(17:49):
my wife will see and look like, oh, he's attractive.
As an athlete, there was an abundance of women anywhere
I was, especially during my playing days. My personality, my
size and stature, my occupation that it comes with that.
(18:12):
Now acting on it is something completely different. Of course,
I was attracted to women still, like I didn't meet
her that day and then everything changed. And even after
we got married. I tell people this all the time. Look,
when you get married, they don't give you appeal at
the ceremony to make everyone else unattractive. And if you're
(18:37):
going into it thinking that that's gonna happen, you're going
to bump your head.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
So how do you not act on it, like when
so many of us have failed, Because you know, sisation
is great and I'm like, once again, I'm just keeping
it real and I'm not the person I used to be, obviously,
but I made those.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Mistakes and I've talked about that many times. The one
thing that I knew from our initial meeting was she
was different, she was special. So if she was different
and she was special, how do you treat someone who's
different and special. You treat them different, and you treat
and you treat them specially.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
But when she told you in the beginning, she said
she didn't believe, she didn't believe in kids, she didn't
believe in marriage.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, I didn't concern you know, because I wasn't looking
for a wife, a monogamous relationship, are having kids at
twenty seven years old, I wasn't looking for any of
those things. So how did that change? Though? For her?
It just us getting to know each other. Now we
can grow together, okay, right. I didn't come in there
(19:40):
with unrealistic expectations when I met her, and she didn't
have that with me. She even hit me with the
after we had been dating for like six seven months.
She'd been on tour for a while, and when she
came in town, we'd hang out and have a good time.
It'd be fun and she hit me with this. She said, look, look,
(20:01):
I know that, you know, girls are all around and
all of that, and I get it. I understand. So
I'll offer you this when we're together. We're together, but
when I'm gone and you're playing or you know, you
do you and I do I'll do me. And I said, well,
(20:29):
I said what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I said, what is what is? You do? You mean?
I knew what I do me. I knew what I
was going for. And she was like, you know, I'm
not going to you know, shame you to the house.
You do you, I'll do me. And I said why,
I don't know if I'm okay with that, and like
(20:52):
we've been dating, you know, about six months, and she said, look,
I'm going to ask you this one more time and
if you decline, then we go together. So she said, look,
you do you, I do me. When we get together,
we'll be together. I said, yeah, no, I don't know
(21:13):
if I can sign up for that. And so we
were together.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Bruh.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I think you you probably saw something for a lot
of people out there.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Relationships, you know, like have that boomerang effect for some
women out there, like if they want the man to
commit or even just give them that option and let
them know that, Hey, whatever you're doing out there, everything.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I'm telling you revolves around one thing. Honesty. Yeah, the
first time we met, she was brutally honest about her
her expectations of where she was in her life. I
was honest about mine when she told me six months
in the dating look do you I'll do me. That's honesty, right.
(21:58):
Sometimes if you're honest now, you don't have to worry
about being dishonest later. Oh man, this is something I
had to learn.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Like dating now is like I'm so honest about everything
about where I am.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Well, let's talk about your journey, right, let's let's.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Go. This is a tragedy. So we're gonna go for
this great fairy tale to this tragedy.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Tragedy, no tragedy, because you're still here.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Yeah, a beautiful family, beautiful daughter, two daughters.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And so I just want to know, like, you've been
married three times, three times, divorce three times, divorce three times.
All right, walk us through that, like your your your
approach to dating, marriage, the whole nine yards.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
It's I'm a totally different person now ever since therapy,
writing the book, you discovering all the traumas that I
went through in my life.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
A lot of the things, a lot of the mistakes
that I made, had something to do with my childhood,
my up never seeing love a lot of us though, Yeah, yeah,
for all of us for the most part.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
But the therapy is the why, and you dig and
you find out where it came from. When my mom
wasn't with my dad, the stepdad wasn't the best father
figure in the world as far as like a role model,
So I had no men in my life telling me
what to do.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I never say I never used this as an excuse.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I take accountability for all my actions and the things
I've learned. But you got to understand what the person
was in order to realize why he did certain things
in his life. Once again, not using it as an excuse.
But I never saw love in the household. I never
saw my mom my dad hug each other, tell each
other they loved me child nothing. I just know they
(23:51):
coexist see somewhere.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
But but but once again, it's like I think sometimes
when you put this out here and I put it
in my book, people by the way up open mind's
still out there, still sell them by the way, I
think sometimes when you tell people about your journey, they
don't want to know about the why.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
They just want to say, oh, you did it, and
they want to label you.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
And I still get that, and I understand that, and
I've given people grace because I also understand that when
people find out that I have done something that was
disrespectful to a woman and cheated before whatnot, they're gonna
label you because of some of the things that they've
gone through their own traumas. Maybe they've been cheated on,
maybe their moms cheated on, their uncle's cheated on. So
it doesn't bother me as much when somebody goes off whatever,
(24:32):
But I want people to realize some of the things
that I did in my past. I first of all
acknowledge and I've taken steps to correct, not saying that
I have wings on right now. Still got a lot
of things I got to get through whatever, But I'm
growing into the manhood.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
So when you ask.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Me about my journey. As far as the marriage is concerned,
there were all different reasons. It was military, going over
seas afraid. First one nineteen years old, asked somebody to
marry me. Didn't think she was gonna say yes.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
She said yes. I said, okay, let's just do it.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Second one, going to New York and I had a
long distance relationship. I'm like, hey, you want to come
live with me? She did no, you know what you
got to do if you want to do that right.
Once again, it was not necessarily but it was still me.
I still made the final decisions. I could have said no,
but I didn't. Once again, no regrets. But I wasn't
in love. And I want people to understand and realize
(25:27):
when I say not being in love doesn't mean I
didn't love these people. I wasn't in love because I
didn't know how to be in love. I can't fall
in love because I couldn't trust. I couldn't trust, I
couldn't trust myself. I didn't love myself. I didn't know
them well. And there was something that happened to me
when I was fifteen years old that until I went
(25:47):
to therapy and wrote the book, I didn't realize it
had an effect.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
On all my relationships.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
The first woman I ever told that I loved, and
I'm talking about this the first time I felt that shit,
you know what I mean? Like I remember it was
at a football game. We was outside making out her
brother's car. Luther was playing Luther. In my mind, Luther
was playing Luther.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Was playing this. She was so romantic.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Man. We was drinking wine. Coolest man. I was fifteen,
she was seventeen. Bro, gorgeous girl, findest woman in the
high school.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
And I had her.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
I'm in a sophomore, man, and I'm like, man, I'm
kissing this girl seeing I'm looking at her eyes.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Man.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
And to this day, man still get emotional thinking about that,
because that's the purest love I ever felt in my life.
It was untouched, it was not tampered with, It had
no flaws. It was just like, I love this girl, bro.
And I said, I'm gonna tell her I love her.
And I looked her in her eyes and I said,
I love you with everything.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Just came out.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
And I'm thinking in the movies, I'm thinking we're gonna
hit his music and shitting through firework.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I wasn't gonna go off happily ever after.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
She gonna tell me I love you too and embrace me,
and she was gonna let Man, this girl looked at
me like I farted in her mouth. Oh, this girl,
this girl looked at me and she's like, she said,
let's go just like that.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
And brouh.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I remember I was in I guess I was in
shock because I didn't even know what happened.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Right, go back into the football game, saygabye.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Mom comes pick her up and all that, and she
leaves with her brother obviously in the car. And I
didn't see her the whole weekend. Right, it's Friday, Monday.
We get back to school. I remember this girl named
Karen West. I say her name, Karen West. Came to
be in my locker, and she said, you and so
and so still together? And see the girl's name, You
and so and so still together? I said yeah, she said,
kind of gave me another look like like I know
(27:38):
something you don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Man.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I'm walking down the hallway about an hour later the
next this period, and I just.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
See people looking at me.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
People like looking at me like they know something, right,
And all of a sudden, I see walking around the
corner is my girlfriend that I think holding hands with somebody.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
I didn't even know that we had broken up. I
was fifteen years old. I was crushed first of all
by her saying that once again, but thinking Okay, we're
still together because she told me we broke up or whatever,
and then she's moved on with somebody else and didn't
even tell me and broken up.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
She's moved on that fast.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
After I told this girl with all my heart how
much I did not realize that moment and how much
it affected me from I could not trust anybody. I
couldn't trust anybody, and I was paranoid that if I
didn't have a backup plan that.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
You know, I was gonna be made a fool of.
I was a fool. I was made a full of
Once again, people are gonna say this all that happened.
We was fifteen years old. Women go through this all
the time, we get heartbroken or whatever.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
But I'm gonna tell you right now, when men get
emotionally crushed, you know this, we can't handle that shit.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Man, man, we really it affects us for a long time.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
And so until I realized that's the reason that happened,
I actually had to hit this girl up and hit
her and say, hey, you know, she was following me
on Instagram and Twitter seeing my life and like liking shit,
and I'm like, okay, she see the life I lived.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Oh, she she came back back. No, she well, she
wasn't like she was you. No, she's married, she had
married to a ministry and all that stuff like that,
beautiful kids, whatever. But she was following me, and I'm like, okay,
so I'm like you following me. You see, I'm on
I'm on network television. I'm doing things. You doing it,
I'm doing it. So I'm thinking, okay, well she see
the life she could have had or whatever.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
She still looked good by the way, man, and I
actually hit her on the DMS man. And when I
started going through my therapy, and I said, I don't
know if you realize this, but I explained the whole situation,
and she's just like, I am so sorry, I am
so sorry that happened.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
I was going she said, she was going through a
lot of shit. Of course, she's a kid. She seen
she was seventeen.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
She said, when you told me that, she said, I
couldn't take it because I couldn't accept love because of
some shit that was happening in her house.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
When you said what, I immediately, as a grown up,
you can see that. Yep. So she couldn't exist. So
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
But I didn't really all this time, thirty some years later,
I had no clue.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
How how cathartic and how releasing was that.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
That was so releasing, and it made once again, that's
what I'm saying, like the power of therapy.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yeah, the power of going through this.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
And that's why I'm so so much of an advocate
for mental health and going to find out why you
do what you're doing, the mistakes that you may not
only hurt yourself but hurting the other people around you.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Man. So you know, once again, it allowed me to
actually marry.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Cynthia and well, I'm gonna talk about how I mess
Cynthia and we'll get to number three.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
We'll get to number three in a second.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
But it allowed me to open up because after my
second marriage, I was like, man, I'm never getting married.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah, we talked about that. Yeah, like I'm done. I
don't know what happened. I ain't nobody in the world.
I'm done with this alimony. I was like, all right, man,
I was gonna be in the club.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Come on, Oh, I was gonna be that old man
messed with these twenty year olds.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
I was gonna be that girl. I'm just saying I'm
being honest with you being transparent, right.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
But because of that man, going through that and realizing
like it made me open up. It made me realize, hey,
I can't do it again. And so we're working on
a radio show on Farm Sports Radio. I said, and
you come in one day and you say, hey, man,
would you ever go on a dating show?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I did say that. I said. A good friend who's
a producer of mine called me and said, hey, we're
doing this dating segment on the Steve Harvey Show, and
do you know anybody who would want to date Real
(31:38):
Housewives of Atlanta? And I was like, oh, well, which one?
And I said the same thing? Which one I knew?
And he was like Cynthia Bailey. So I was like, oh,
I know a perfect person. You're the first person that
popped into really so I hit you. I called you.
You said which one? Which one? I said, Cynthia Bailey?
(31:59):
You was like yeah, I called him back. Do y'all
get married? Bruh?
Speaker 3 (32:05):
I mean, so we go on the show and let
me tell you how this almost didn't ask man? So
I go on the show, do the producer thing whatnot?
I gotta go to work later that Yeah, you on TV.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
You'm on TV. I got a cold time. Later that
night at six o'clock, I gotta be there. I'm on
the air.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Got stuff to do, I got things to do. They
run behind that day, I mean Steve's TV, Steve Hallway's birthday, Sally,
So the production was run behind, and I kept telling
the producer, I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
She's cool, but I got a job. I on this woman.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Yeah right, And they said no, please. They were about
to go about to go about the table, about the tape,
and so go through the whole process. Obviously I won
the dating show whatever. I hugged this woman and I said,
I gotta go. I gotta go to work. I thought
I was never gonna see her again. I thought I
was never gonna see her again. And then two weeks later,
after I work whatever, the producers called me back and
(32:56):
they said, no, she really wants to go on a
date with you.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Now.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Unbeknownst to me, they told her the same thing that
I wanted to go on today with her.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, they had to finish the production, Man, TV. I
should have known that the producer was full of shit. Whatever,
But it worked out, man, and it was a slow burn.
It worked out, or whatever. Man.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
But one of the things I will say, man, because
you know I had the red flags.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yes, you know you're a good guy.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
You know, people will see you and your reputation, you know, sterling,
you know, background or whatever and stuff like that. Great
for everybody, but for me, when you are labeled with
those red flags, no matter how once you've changed, how far.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
You want to go, people still see the unhealed version
of of course. And that's the nature that still affects
me to this day.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
And I got to be honest, man, in the beginning,
it was hurtful because I don't know how many relationships
it could have affected.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, So those red flags have an effect on you
moving forward.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
And even when you meet somebody, you know, all of
a sudden, you could be having a great time.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
They might not know who you are at that moment.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I know, I've had plenty of situations where I've met
a young lady being who I am before, and I'll
be very transparent if I had to be about my background.
I'm not gonna spill all the beings all at once.
But we have a great conversation and get the phone
number or whatever, and she wants the phone number and
she's all excited, and then all of a sudden you
never hear from it because somebody said, oh you met Mike,
(34:24):
Oh you know blah.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
Blah blah blah, and all of a sudden you get
that reputation. But once again, I always feel like, what's
for you.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Is for you anyway, Well, there's no We live in
a society where redemption is fleeting right and growth is
not as accepted as it should be, Especially when it
comes to relationships. You will hear terms I wants a cheater,
are always a cheater. But if I cheated on my girlfriend,
I'm fifteen years old and I'm forty five, does that
(34:53):
mean I'm a cheater? Still something I did when Like so,
there's no room for mistakes when it comes to relationships,
and I think that's the biggest thing that my wife
and I the first thing we did when we got
(35:15):
engaged after a year of dating is we talked about
our deal breakers. And I would implore anyone in a
serious relationship thinking about marriage are being together with their
significant other to talk about their deal breakers. Meaning we
(35:36):
decided once we were gonna get married. We were gonna
take divorce off the table, right. My father had been
married four times, my hero, right, and I knew for
a fact I wasn't gonna do that. And so we
talked about deal breakers and what I mean by deal
(35:56):
breaks things that the other person could do to in
the relationship. So my deal breaker was looking, I'm Muslim, right,
and my faith is very important to me who I
am as a man, and so there would be no
undermining my religion in any shape, way or form, which
(36:16):
most I'm sure most people have that opinion. Family is
also very important to me, And so I was just
labeling out some of my deal breakers, and she gave
me her deal breaker, and her number one deal breaker
was disloyalty, being disloyal, and she even clarified it, she said,
(36:41):
and fidelity is not a deal breaker, Being disloyal is.
And I'll explain, Say, I did mess up and I
stepped out on her, and people knew about it, and
she the only one that didn't know about it. So
(37:03):
I had her looking like a fool. And I think
most people hearing this would understand that, like, that's a problem,
because now, not only did you step out on her,
but now you didn't care enough about her to stop
her from walking into having others look at her like
she's an idiot. Those are the things right there. They
(37:26):
show a level of caring and compassion that if you
don't have for her, then you'll have her looking like
a fool. And she was like, if you look, we're human,
And I talked about it earlier. We're human, we have urges,
we have things, all of that. I can understand that
you got to talk to me about it, right. You
(37:46):
got to be open and if you have an urge,
if there's something going on, we need to talk about
it and we can come up. We can come up
with whatever solution that is. But if you're out there
doing things and it comes back to me in a
way that makes me feel insecure about us, I can't
(38:11):
deal with that. Right. It's a breach of trust and loyalty.
And I understood what that meant, right. And the thing
that really sets I believe our relationship with part is
we have these open and honest conversations, very uncomfortable for
(38:32):
some couples. Right seven years into our us being together,
we're driving in the car and she says, oh, so,
what's going on. You know what, I just feel like
I just want somebody else on me. And I was like,
wait a minute, hold, but just hearing that, you be like,
(38:53):
oh what, and so how do you take that mean?
Because I take it there? So this is my best friend, right,
your boy? You can tell me that. Yeah, Like if
you married, you can come up to me and say, dame,
but I mean, I love her, but I sometimes I
just want to, you know, get somebody else's. You can
tell me that, and I can give you my honest
(39:14):
opinion or whatever, right, and it be that just that
we're not in a relationship, but as your best friend,
I can give you. We can talk about that. That
is my best friend. She is my best friend. I'm
her best friend.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
So but we know there are repercussions for saying things
like I think that's what we fear because that's the
way that you That's the point.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
If you really your best friend, if your significant others
really your best friend, they talk to them like that,
you can't handle that because they feel like they're going
to hurt someone else's feelings. And they may be right,
because their relationships may not have been built on the
foundation of trust and support as they matter thought. So
(40:01):
I said, okay, well what do you mean by that?
She said, well, I missed that interaction. When you're you know,
at the club, at the bar or something, you meet somebody,
you have chemistry similar to how we met right that
you know initial will you kiss? Will you not kiss?
That energy? I missed that. And I said, look, I
get it. I could never give you that again. If
(40:25):
that's something you're looking for and you need, we can
talk about it. She was like, no, I'm not saying
it like that, but just us having that open dialogue
about it it changed everything. I mean, but you know,
that's a lot of maturity comes to that.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
And that's why I give you so much credit, man,
And like you can start roll playing and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
You can it looks like you don't know each other
at the club you do things like that. I mean
that that can't kind of keep his spicy. Understand that.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
But for the most part, a lot of people, a
lot of people can't handle that.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
And and once again, I think that's what makes your relationship.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
You're so special. I'm gonna tell you something I never
told anybody. I'm gonna share it right here. Is when
me and Cynthia. I remember there was something that came
out in the blogs, and it was a lie, you know,
like saying somebody said I was out there sexting and
doing all that time of straight up line, just straight
up line. Now I have I sex before, yes, but
this not happened me, you know, this person or whatever.
(41:21):
But it's in the blogs and people talking, and when
people do that type of stuff, it does get into
the mind of your spouns, especially when you have a
reputation in those flags whatever.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
And I'm never saying that I was an angel, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Early on in my relationship with Cynthia or whatever, some
things popped off whatever. Never cheated, you know what I mean,
But it was like inappropriate texting and all that type
of stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
But never say.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
What this was was was straight out of bounds and
just a straight up lie. And it affected us and
it affected her, especially because it got into her head
because now all of a sudden people really started to
talk to her and she even said, she said, shit,
do you want to be in an open relationship?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
She asked me if I want to be? And it
hit me. I'm like, no, I really just want you.
But you start thinking about these things.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Of course, if that's what but once again I appreciate
her for coming to tell me, Hey, if this is
how you're feeling, let's just be totally transparent and honest
about that.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
And if we need to be in an open relationship
to say the marriage, if that's what you wanted, that's
what you're desiring, then let's do it. But obviously that's
not what I want. Well, I think just hearing that
and understanding that and viewers and listeners, Look, if you're
going to be with someone and you say you consider
your significant other your best friend, then feel comfortable having
(42:45):
conversations with your best friend, and instead of repressing things
that will maybe later manifest somewhere down the line in
the relationship, be open and talk about them. You be
surprised on once you start broaching these conversations, just like
(43:07):
you would talk about finances or raising kids or anything
like that. Be open to talking about your feelings your desires.
Don't fall victim to feeling like you should be in
a relationship a certain type of way, because number one,
(43:29):
you know, all marriages are different. Marriage is what you,
as a couple make it. You set your own parameters,
your own guidelines, your own emotional thread. All of those
things are important. So if you're both on the same page,
you have a better opportunity of having a successful marriage.
(43:53):
My wife and I, like I said, eighteen years married,
we have these open dialogues all the time we have
been We've been on black Love, we talked about it,
We've done these We've done the work right. I go
to therapy like I'm in therapy now, and everybody needs
(44:14):
to individual and it's it's it's a way for me
to make sure I can give her the best meat. Right.
I know that I could be a bit much so
in order for me to be the best husband and
the best father I could be. Yeah, it's things I
need to work on as an individual that bring that
(44:34):
I bring into it to the family. And I'm okay
with that. I don't feel any a shame. I don't
feel a shamed or any less of a man. I
feel more of a man recognizing the fact that there
is some work that I need to get done and
and because it's only gonna make me, I don't care
what happens outside my household. Brother, I am firmly cemented
(44:56):
in what's going on inside my home and how I
could be the best me for them I could be.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
And men that realize that got to realize it's not
weakness that is working. Come on, and I know we
got to get into the unfiltered segment. We've got to
wrap things up, man. But and that goes beyond marriage
real quick. About the transparency, man, I think even when
you're dating somebody, and I think on both ends, when
a man says what he wants, women should listen to
(45:23):
what he wants as far as where he is. Yeah,
don't try and make it something that is not you know,
both ways, you know what I mean. So if a
man says all I want is this, listen to him
Because a lot of times you can be in a
situation with a woman and you could be a nice guy.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You can have sex with this person or whatever.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
You can have a good relationship, going dates, whatever, and
the woman will take it as if, hey, well he
wants to be my boyfriend because he's doing boyfriend and stuff.
You know, maybe he's just being nice. But if he's
telling you all he wants, listen to that. But also,
as a man, if.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
You don't want more, please don't lead somebody down the
wrong path right and as a woman are as a man,
you're absolutely right. Don't settle for something you you don't want.
Don't sign up for something that you you want to
reneg on and you ain't got to go up the
goods or something like if the goods belong to the boyfriend,
(46:15):
don't give up the goods because the man's gonna take it.
People gonna take whatever they gave. Man, be who you
are and be okay with that. Yep.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
I can give a relationship. I always tell people all
the time, Ghip, you have enough experience.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
I can tell you what what not to do.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
And with the mistakes that I've made and the things
I've said. So I hate when people say I can't
let don't listen to the messages. Sometimes you gotta listen
to the message.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Gotta listen to the message yourself. We got the last segment.
It's called Unfiltered. This is gonna be a staple of
our show at the end of the thing. So we'll
ask all the guests whatever I'm gonna ask you, since
we are our own guests on our own show.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Give me that one time when you knew you had
done there, you had been there, I think think I
think it was. It was. Since we're talking about relationships,
it was a time I was at a very exclusive party,
(47:14):
very exclusive, I'm talking about beyond exclusive. And it was
a situation where it was an individual there who fancied me.
And this is pre opposed wedding, this is post West, okay.
(47:34):
And the situation was set up to where whatever happened,
it would have just been there. Nobody would in the
world except for me and God. And I went and
I told my wife. I didn't act on it, but
(47:58):
I went and I told my wife, and it was
silence on the phone, and she said, uh, that's tough,
that's tough to hear. But I appreciate you being open
and honest with you.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
And why was it tough for her to hear when
you didn't end on it, because you, first of all,
emotions are emotions, So you told her emotionally. You was.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
If someone comes to you your significant other and says, look,
this situation was crazy, you know it was whatever was,
I was open and honest. I was like, this was
my type would have been perfect in it. Like you,
nobody wants to feel or hear about their significant other,
even being a message being in that situation, it's tough
(48:48):
to hear. And I had said earlier in our relationship,
I said, every day it's a challenge to be faithful.
And she got mad at that, and I said, you're
misunderstanding what I'm saying. I said, every days a challenge
to be faithful, because temptation comes at you and droves,
(49:10):
especially when you're happy and comfortable. I said, but it's
a challenge that I'm willing to step up to and
fight every single day. And she understood that part of
it that meant you're worth fighting for me. Ignoring are
(49:32):
giving the opinion that temptation didn't exist, was lying.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
Me.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
Telling her that wasn't to make her feel a certain
type of way. It was for me to let her
know I'm in this fight forever, for the long haul,
and the long you're together, the easier temptation is. But
this was one of those moments that where I was like, WHOA,
this could have went left right, This really could have
went left. But what it did for us in our relationship,
(50:03):
it brought us closer together because this was a situation
where nobody, I'm telling you, it would have never because
they had a lot to lose. I had a lot
to lose. It was just one of those things and
I chose us over it and it made me. It
(50:27):
made me stronger in our relationship. It made our relationship stronger,
but it also reaffirmed what I was doing and what
I was trying to do, and that's I want to
do this the right way, and that that is something
that that really helped build the foundation of the type
of husband that I don't want to be in, a
(50:50):
type of you know, father that I'm trying to raise
my kids and show them that their love is possible,
and this is all you know, that's one of the
situations that really was a pillar of our the strength
and our marriage. And that's why you're so happy now.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
And that's why it's good that your boys see that too,
and it's good that you have boys and you can
see that love. Once again, going back to my situation
growing up not seeing any love and the house. I
see how you love on your niece, and I see
how she loves back on you, and how you guys
support us, support and appreciate one another. That is your
queen and you are her king, and your boys see that,
and that's the way they're gonna listen.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
To that point. I tell people this whole time, there's
not a woman on this planet that I treat better
than my wife, not my mama, not my sister, not
if people, if men, if husbands would understand that there's
not a woman on this planet earth that can say
(51:46):
that I treat them better than my wife. If you
can have that, and if vice versa, you can cut
a lot of the nonsense out right right. Ain't no secrets. Man,
We look, we in this together, and you're supposed to
be just a union, it's a marriage. So before you start,
(52:08):
since we're co hosting, give me from you that moment
where you've done there and been that. So similar to
what you're talking about. This is what changed my life.
Speaker 3 (52:22):
You're talking about keeping somebody happy one of the things
I learned, and I learned this after the fact, but
this is what changed my life and my perspective about
how to treat people now once again, meeting Cynthia and
being with Cynthia, loved her. The first time I was
able to try and fall in love whatnot. But I
still hadn't gone to therapy yet. I was in the
(52:44):
midst of starting to write the book, and realizing some
of the things that had happened just from writing a
book kind of helped me unveil some of the trauma
A fifteen year old being able to do that open up.
But once again, I hadn't eel and I didn't know
how to move forward. So the whole thing was And
another thing I was taught was at an early age,
like if a woman wants to do something with you, you're.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Supposed to do it.
Speaker 3 (53:07):
So my dad taught me that taught me that. It's
the longest in the book. I ain't don I don't
have enough time to talk about this, but if a
woman wanted to do something, be a man to do it.
Like That's why I was talking. I was nine years
old at the time, and it always stuck me. So
I've always been the type of person that always wanted
if it was a woman, I had to please her
in some certain kind and maybe not have sex with
or anything like that, but if there was something that
(53:29):
she wanted or needed, I wanted to make her happy.
Even if I didn't like her, might not even be
attracted to her, but I'm still gonna flirt make her
feel good about it. Hey, you know, Hey, thank you
for liking me, whatever, And so sometimes there was early
on our relationship with Cynthia, you know, I want some debris,
I say that like that, that I'm loving this woman.
(53:52):
But once again people will come and flirting and stuff
like that, so inappropriate, Hey hey dog, y'ah yeah, beautiful
and all.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
That type stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
And i'mmitting this and I'm being honest because I had
to move forward.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
And move this, but it almost cost me every time.
Speaker 3 (54:07):
And my girls, who had gone through the traumas of
me and their moms had already seen what I had
done with relationships before. And they're growing up and now
they're almost adults and they've gone through relationships and they've
been hurt themselves, and now they're seeing some of the
guys that they were dating that was hurting them and
they're looking at me.
Speaker 1 (54:29):
And when.
Speaker 3 (54:42):
And when that became a parent, bro, it almost lost
my kids.
Speaker 1 (54:53):
That's definitely. I'm sorry. No, No, that's what.
Speaker 3 (54:56):
The That's who made me realize that, you know, it
was a breaking point.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Yeah, it's like, I gotta go get therapy. I gotta
go get.
Speaker 3 (55:05):
Help, because I don't get help, I'm gonna lose everybody.
I've already lost myself another person I want to be because.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
There are a lot of things I don't want to do.
Speaker 3 (55:17):
And yeah, I'm not doing what I used to do,
but I'm not doing all the right things I need
to be doing. It's almost like somebody equated to like
being on crack right and saying, I'm not doing crack anymore,
but you're drinking all the time, you know what I mean,
You're still not in your right mind. So I'm not
doing that. So at least I'm not screwing anybody doing this,
(55:38):
but I'm holding on to something. And once again, that
was me not trusting. So until I went to therapy, man,
until my kids basically told me, hey, you know, they
didn't want to have anything to do with me.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Sent there was there and supporting.
Speaker 3 (55:51):
And everything like that whatnot, but it was like still
early on before we got married and all that, and
I almost lost all that.
Speaker 1 (55:58):
It made me say, you.
Speaker 3 (55:59):
Know what, let me go find out how to fix this,
me get through why, and let me address this and
let me move forward. And it changed my life. So
when I say done, there been that I was there.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
Yeah I was that, but I'm not anymore.
Speaker 3 (56:15):
I'm a different person, and I know once again people
want to hold onto that and it will continue to
hold on to that. But I know who I am now,
and so it doesn't bother me anymore when somebody wants
to relive and always think about my past when I
talk about it, I'm not afraid to talk about it
because one of the reasons I want to do these
type of podcasts and use my platform to talk and
(56:35):
be so transparent about my past because I made mistakes.
But I want people out there to realize that you
might make the same mistakes about me. And if I
can use my platform to talk about some of the
things I had to overcome and some of the mistakes
I made and once again not blaming anybody for him,
but saying how I did it. Yeah, if I did it,
you can do it too. And I need to help
(56:57):
the future generations from not doing this same things that
I did, because I don't want them to be talked
the way I was talking.
Speaker 1 (57:03):
Well, it's it's hope, right, It's hope, And no matter
how old you are, there's always time. And I want
to appreciate you being so open and honest. It's emotional,
and this is one of those podcasts. But sometimes you
don't laugh, sometimes.
Speaker 3 (57:25):
You don't cry. But whatever emotion this evokes, it's gonna
be real. Yeah, And that's what we're trying to do
here with this, That's what it is all real.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
Man. But once again, man, I love you, bro, I
love you man. I love you man.
Speaker 3 (57:38):
I say that like you my brother, and I feel
like I can come to you for anything. And I'm
happy that we're going on this venture and this journey together.
It's gonna be great, man. We're gonna have a good
time absolutely all right. So, like you said, we won't
be crying all the time. But I'm not afraid of
the proud of this thing. I shouldn't have said I'm
sorry because.
Speaker 1 (57:54):
I think once getting that's work. But I feel like,
you know, we have the as brothers.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
Nderstand that those emotions are in us and we keep
it inside of us or we're not allowed to.
Speaker 1 (58:05):
Now that that emotion come out.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
It comes out as toxic yep, and that can affect
the people around that set toxic masculine even talking about
we'll get into those conversations as well, man, But let
me clear it up so I.
Speaker 1 (58:16):
Can say goodbye properly.
Speaker 3 (58:17):
Uh, This has been the first edition of Done there
have been that podcast, Me and my Man Eating Salam.
Thank you so much for joining us on this. It's
gonna be a rid, it's gonna be a journey. It's
gonna be real. Like I said, it's gonna be a
lot of fun. We got some great guests coming up.
We got Jail Hill coming up soon and my Man
Major and many many more. So still tune in, check
in our heart radio anywhere podcasts are subscribe.
Speaker 1 (58:41):
Please subscribe, like and tell a friends, click like. Whatever
it is y'all do with them buttons hit all of them. Man,
We're trying to make this happen. It's for y'all. This
is it's real. Putting it out there, put it out
there on the line. Mom, I love you all right,
We love you too, baby, y'all.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
This is being collective, part us, a connected, perfective, real
line perspective, perspective. Defense of the ship Shad No Captain's
big facts are kicked back just here.
Speaker 1 (59:06):
Every thunder been there
Hosts And Creators
Mike Hill
Eunice Elliott
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