April 10, 2025 • 32 mins
Wilmer and Freddy dive into a heartfelt conversation about mental health, reflecting on the importance of taking time for yourself and finding personal methods of recharging. Wilmer shares his "Hour A Day" routine, while Freddy opens up about his experience with meditation and the importance of staying centered amidst the stresses of life and the entertainment industry. Together, they explore how multi-generational mental health neglect can manifest in different ways, especially in the Latino community, and discuss the healing power of prayer, meditation, and vulnerability.
“Dos Amigos” is a comedic and insightful podcast hosted by two friends who’ve journeyed through Hollywood and life together. Wilmer Valderrama and Freddy Rodriguez push through the noise of everyday life and ruminate on a bevy of topics through fun and daring, and occasionally a third amigo joins the mix!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Okay, salute, salute.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Hi, I am Freddie Rodriguez and I'm Wilmer Valdoroma.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
We are in the Dose Amigos podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Well, thank you so much for everyone who's been prescribing
and downloading.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
It's so amazing that you'll have been looking for us
everywhere else that we are available and and.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Just enjoying these conversations.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
You know, the idea of this podcast was to kind
of come together, reflect look ahead, but also be present
and enjoying and enjoying our friendship and the life that
we've lived, you know, in the legacy we're leaving behind.
And I think in this episode, you know, we wanted
to kind of domestify, you know, some of these things
(00:55):
you know that you know, multi generation that we've been
passed down, you know, I know mental health oth is
a is a big subject, you know, something that a
lot of people, you know struggle with today and and
you know, perhaps some of our listeners in this very
moment are going through a really difficult time. So we
thought it'd be cool to just say, hey, you know,
let's reflect on some of the things that we do
for ourselves. You know, some of the things that you
(01:17):
know that has gotten us through the darkness. You know,
our jobs, this career could be so so you know,
so tough, you know, rejection and the negativity that can
be surrounded by you know, it could be not just scary,
but could also really be.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Daunting.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It's hard to find the path, you know, when you're
when you're when you enter in these zones, and how
do you keep yourself yourself saying how do you keep
priority as the guide in light? And you know, how
do you protect yourself in all these ways? And we had.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
To do things right.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
We had to kind of figure out what are these
things that you treat you know yourself to you know,
and you know, I'll start with you know my version, right.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I started this thing called my hour.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
A day that if if in twenty four hours you
didn't have one hour for yourself, then what.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Did you do for yourself today?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
In other words, like.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Today match tomorrow or didn't match yesterday? Like how do
you you know, how did what did tuesday? What was
Tuesday different than Wednesday? And it's in that hour sometimes
when when our daily routine is going to work, you know,
getting on the same freeway, you know, making those similar
phone calls and then getting home and having a version
of the dinner we had before.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
You know what about that day made you remember it?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
You know, in that hour that I would afford myself
could be in the form of fitness, right which I
like to work out, listen to loud meal say, can
really get in the mood and like you know, and
sing out loud, and you know, it could be a swim,
it could be a walk, It could be a meditation.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It could be reading a chapter of your favorite book.
You know. It could be you know, watching an episode
of something you know.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
And I think that the idea was that my hour
day kind of inspire us all to kind of take charge,
you know, and break the patterns of our daily lives,
you know.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
And and find that.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
But do you have something like that? Do you have
something like a you know, like my hour day? But
you know what, what do you what do you do
for yourself when it comes to like I want to
recenter again, I want to recharge.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
A couple of years ago I went and I took
an intensive it's called TM Transcendental Meditation course, and it
was it was a three day course where they teach
you how to meditate. They give you a mantra, you know,
and it really helped me in so many different ways.
(03:38):
It helped me get centered. You know, I think it's
really normal in our industry for us to get anxious, right,
you know, for anxiety to be so prevalent in our
industry and in life, right, that's you know, obviously.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
A byproduct of stress. Right.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
And so I learned how to do that and it
and it also helped me in my in my acting
as well. You know, I find I remember one time,
I think we said this in the other episode, Andy
Garcia gave me some good advice.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
He said, he said, just stay loose, man, stay loose.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Sometimes it's hard to stay loose, you know, when you're
when you're tense, when you're stressed, stakes are high, stakes
are high. Right, you don't know if other people on
set are disturbing your peace. You know, there's a multitude
of different elements that could affect that. And thus I
(04:34):
feel could affect your performance, you know. And I found
that meditation really helped me get centered, uh and help
me get focused enough that if any of that tried
to come into my space, I had the tools to
be able to deflect from that.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Uh. And and that and even in my regular life,
you know, just whatever stresses.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Or anxieties we're going through it, just a little bit
of that a few days, a few times a day
really helps combat that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So question.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
So there's so many forms of meditation, and I encourage
everyone to find their anthem, right, Like, go out there
and find all different versions of meditation and see which
one speaks to you, which one centers.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
You in waste that you never thought you could be before.
But for you, what is that?
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Do you mind talking a little bit about what is
the version of meditation you do it?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
It's twenty minutes, two times a day. Oh, two times
a day, two times a day?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Is there specifically morning and evening?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Or I tend to do it?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah. You know.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
It's funny because the perception is that if you meditate,
it makes you sleepy, but it actually gives you some energy,
And so they encourage you to do it early in
order for you to take advantage of that energy, right,
and for you not to do it like right before
bed because they.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Think you'd be up.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
So for me, it's a it's a combination of that
some prayer you know in the mornings, ah, some reading,
but you know, you have to equip yourself with the
tools right in whatever you do, whatever it is, whatever
you're dealing with in your life, right, you always need
a set of tools.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
That's that's going to help you get through it, right, buddy.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I mean, what's what's the hour a day for me?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Is it the same every single day or is it?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Well, it depends because I have forfeited my lunch, which
used to be my forty five minutes of just like
shutting it down. Are either closing my eyes or reading
or whatever I have to do. I have to forfeit
it to zoom meetings because I have just running out
of hours of the day to do all my business stuff.
But I will say my hour day starts really early.
You know, I'm the guy who gets up at four
(06:46):
to thirty in the morning. Wow, I'll be in the
gym at four thirty and that gives me actually a
good hour and forty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Even if you get to bed late, you're getting up
at four in the morning.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I have to do it, Wow, I have to do it.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I have to just walk, you know. I walked through
the kitchen out through the kitchen door. I stepped down.
I walked towards my gym outside in the open. The
sky is full of stars, the air is crisp, cold, right,
the grass is still icy.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You know that.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Eventually you make it into you know, the serenity of
the night, and then you make it into the gym.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
You make it into the.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Gym, you turn up your music and then you stretch. Yeah,
you know, just you and at times, you know, my
my my trainer at the time, you know, obviously, you know,
come in and four thirty in the morning, I meet
me there in the morning.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
We'll do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
And there'll be times, well I'll just be there by
myself four thirty in the morning, just like nothing new.
You can hear a sound right that time. Occasionally you
cross a couple of coyotes, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
On your way to the gym.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
But I walk in there and I will stretch, I
will warm up, and then I will just turn the
music to something that will make me happy, like I'll
do some Mark Anthony songs, so you know, I'll do
like some really lively, loud music and then that would
put me in that mood and then that that really
really would help it.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Puld set up this.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Tone so then I go from there, you know, take
a shower, give him the car, and then traffic didn't
bother me, you know. Then I would just go get
to the four or five eventually get down to where
we shoot, uh in Cis and then and then and
then I'd be I had such a running start, you know,
(08:27):
a lot of my co stars we just had working
up rolling running to.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Said are you already already two and a half hours?
So up, you know, going? Then I did walk in
annoyingly optimistic.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
You know, are you Are you a breakfast guy or
you are you a car I love breakfast. Uh sometimes
I've had to do programs where I'm animated fasting, you know,
but some for the most part, I'd like to have
my breakfast in the morning.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
If you do it before or after the workout, I
do it after.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Yeah, you know, I do it after because you know,
I like to kind of do a little bit a
fast workout.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I feel like I'm burning more, you know, I'm reaching
from what's in there, you know. And then.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
You know, and then I'll just have a shake or
a world to have a breakfast right away and I
get to work, and you know, and I'll just you
would have to eat.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
But then once you once you start your start man,
like you know, you.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Know how it is once you get to said, you're
on the all time and just bringing it, you know,
and each scene could be three pages, you know, hard goores,
you know. But but that really helps me, you know,
just kind of getting a Ronnie Star at it. If
I'm traveling somewhere, when I'm in the plane, I'll find
a way to just do some You guys can go
(09:38):
to any of your streaming music devices and go look
for brown noise brown and that it sounds funny because
you know you're not brown, but brown noise is like
this deep, deep, you know sound.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It's like a wide noise.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
That people used to sleeping sometimes, but the brown noise
is so deep. It has like this really really basic
kind of you know structure, and as soon as it
goes on, it almost feels like the wound of.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
A mother, you know, and you're just.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Sleeping in there, you know, And like that's one way
to really turn it off. Once that brown noise explained
in your heart and your mind, you're not thinking about
anything else, right, nothing outside, nothing inside your your your
mind is able to kind of slow it down, you're
focusing on the sound, and then at that very moment
(10:32):
you're able to let go a little bit. The tense
on your shoulders go away, you know, the quick thinking
slows down, and that really helps. But brown noise is
an interesting one. Else to sleep with brown noise because
it's such just so relaxing.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, yeah, it's quieting the brain.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Do you sleep with that noise maker?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I do?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah, it's toff.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I've been to hotel rooms where I'm like, it's too
quiet in here, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I have to.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
If you go on youtubeb and you and you put
like thunderstorm black screen, there's like twelve hours worth of
stuff like that on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
You listen to storms. Yeah, that's that's the thing all night.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Yeah, but with a black screen, so it's just it's
just the sound of the storm in the back.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, but I need something like that.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
When did you realize that what was that moment? What
was that thing? Well, what was that experience that made
you think or made you realize that you really needed to.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Have this structure of meditation and prayer.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I you know, I think that.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
You know, going through our business, uh and going through
the stresses of it. Eventually it starts to get to you.
You know, it starts to affect you and affect your
mental health. And you know, when you're young and then
you're in your twenties, you think you're resilient to everything, right,
and then all of a sudden, you start to get
older and you start ago, I should probably start doing
(12:02):
something about this, uh uh. And then and then you know,
I had, you know, my my pop passed away, and
you know, had you know, a couple of debts in
the family, and that really like rocks you you know,
rocks your core.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
And then you start to seek out ways to deal
with it, you know, especially in our industry, right, it's
so it's so easy to turn to other things as
opposed to meditation.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Or prayer or whatever.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
You know, it's really easy to start diving into the
substance stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
You know, it's never been my thing, but.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Sure, you know, but in our professor and it's it's
a you know, it's it's a tough card. You know,
being being dealt at that card is is tricky. You know,
nobody equips you with this industry. In most careers, you
do the work, you show up, you put in your hours,
you go home, right, you get paid hourly, you get
paid you know, a yearly rate whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Whatever that is.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
But in our profession, and it's it's so much uncertainty.
You know, when your next job is going to be,
you know, and if a show ends, you know, like
you got to get a new one, you're out with
that is, you know, and you hope it's something that
can hopefully pay the road for the rest of your career,
you know.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But but it's tough. I mean this, there's some high
pressures that comes.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
With what we do.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Yeah, it does a number on your nervous system, you know,
and so you have to really start paying attention to
those things. And as you get older, you start to
realize that. You know, when you're younger, you think you're superman.
You know, you don't pay pay attention to any of
that stuff, right, But but you know, whether it's that
or like even therapy, you know, as we continue this
(13:38):
conversation about Latinos and mental health, you know, therapy is
something that Latinos and look, and I'm speaking on my
own behalf, right, Like, I feel like within our culture
is not really something that's at the forefront or.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
It's talked about or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
No, No, we always put a little dirt on it, you.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Know, have a little dirt on it.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
But before we dive into these multi generational shading of
the patterns, I want to acknowledge there are you know,
our thro amigo. Here is you know, Josh, Josh in
the In the name of you know, having this be
our our zen moment, we decided that maybe Josh can
(14:21):
help us.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
With a mocktail.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
A mocktail, you know, yeah, something that can bring our
senses up to a different level.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Josh, what do you make for us today? Today?
Speaker 3 (14:30):
We're going to make a mint, tarragon cucumber, just a
refreshing a small water cooler.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, you know, something to kind of get the.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Mind right, set the tone that Japanese citrus in there,
also sudachi.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Just give it a little little tanginess to it. Very good.
That sounds great, sounds that wish to meditate that to that.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
Yeah, you know, we should be in the sauna.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Absolutely, that's awesome. Can't wait to taste it. But yeah, man, But.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
But speaking of multi generational tools, we've never been I
don't think I can speak for myself.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I don't think we've been ever given.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Tools and how to actually cope, how to actually not
just cope, but like, how do we how do we process? Yeah,
how do we process trauma? How do we how do
we endure it? You know, how do we get through it?
And then most importantly, how do we set up ourselves
for success?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
You know?
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Would you agree that that it does something that it's hard?
You know in our culture somehow that passed to us somehow.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I just I just think that in our culture, we're
taught to suppress trauma, suppress feeling, suppress and and keep
and keep your head down and keep moving forward. Right,
But when you start to learn as you get older,
is that you know, it's it's it's like a pressure cooker, right,
(16:03):
Like you suppress, you suppress. Eventually, it's gonna have to
come out somewhere, right, It's gonna seep through the hole somehow.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Right.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Oh yeah, wow, Okay, even the collar feels like it
took me to a Japanese garden, thank you?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah so much? Look at that a salute? Yeah, mint
on the top there has mint and tarragon and sudachi,
which is a Japanese citrus cucumber inside of there. Like
I said, just a small water.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Oh my, yeah, but that's delicious.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Oh my josh, this is pretty good. It's is damn good.
Thank you. Very refreshing.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Be getting back up on multi generational inheritance. I have
discover myself, my own life, and through my parents. I
never saw my dad process a bad day. I never
saw my mom complain about what it could have been. Yeah,
(17:12):
they just kept looking ahead.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
They kept driving forward, ignoring the wounds and ignoring.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
The scars that they had from the sacrifices they undeniably
had to make.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, you know that.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
And you know, specifically for us, who are you know,
sons who are very aware of the household and what's
happening and what our responsibility would be. You know, it's
hard not to be aware of some of the turmoil,
some of the pain and some of the stress, you know,
some of the trauma that your mom or your dad
might be carrying as you become an adult. You know,
(17:48):
do you feel like, do you ever saw your parents
like taking a bead or one for a walk or
like or you know.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It was just like absolutely not right.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
No, you know I think that that are both of
our parents came from other places in the United States,
and and and their their lives sort of the survival mechanism, right,
And that's part of the survival mechanism.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
It's everything you just said. You just you just.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Put your head down and you look forward and all
the stuff you just listed, and you survive. You know,
you put the blinders on and you survive. However, like
I was saying earlier, I feel like eventually you're you're
suppressing all the stuff that you're going through, right, all
the trauma that you've experienced, and eventually it has to
come out someway.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Somehow, and what I don't know, what form, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
You know, people sometimes channel that into alcoholism. Sometimes people
channel that into drugs.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Sometimes sometimes it manifests in projections onto your family and
through your kids.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
You know, your kids bear you.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Know, some of that that sadness, that's some of that depression,
some of that inner you know anger. It's so important
to you know, for us as we kind of hold
the baton in this next phase of our generation to
kind of pass down to the next version of ourselves,
(19:16):
you know, better tools to figure out that if you're
going to continue to carry this storch, you know, you
got to find some outlets. You know, you have to
let some things go, you know, and look, by all
means we're not ever advertising here that we're the end masters.
I mean we have to carry stress we're doing. We're actors, right,
(19:39):
like actors have to really kind of you know unfortunately,
you know, good job for job, and you know, even
though this is our careers and this is what we do,
their level of inconsistency is not like you get in
a doctor's office and you can work there for ten years.
It's just not how it works, right, Like you can
do a movie this summer, you may not get another
one until next winter or the following winter.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
A year and a half from that winter.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
You know, you get a TV show nobody saw I
got canceled three episodes in, you know, and like, so
there's a lot of uncertainty that's distressful. And then you
become an adult, right, and then you have a family,
you have kids, but this is what you do, you're
an actor, and and you know, so and so I
(20:24):
reflected on that and then I and I flipped the
coin and said, wow, our parents did what they could,
and they did what they had to.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
What would you say to that next generation? What would
you say to to the next version.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Of all of us, you know, that says you know,
all Latinos, you know, you know, when it comes to
mental health, they just put some.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Dirt on it, you know, which is what I was
saying earlier. What would you say to that?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I think that it's important to.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Find what that outlet is, to let out whatever it
is you're suppressing, right, whatever anger, whatever trauma it is
you're suppressing, because otherwise it will it will come out.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
You know.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
It's like it's like putting a band aid, right, You're
going to bleed somewhere, you know, and you don't want
to be bleeding on your spouse or you know, or
someone that you really love. And and I feel like
our culture in particular are not encouraged to do that,
you know.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
And I'm not I'm not.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Sitting here as like an advocate for like therapy for example,
you know, but like whatever that thing is, you know,
is it is it?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Is it prayer?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Is it meditation? Is it?
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Is it worth waking up at four in the morning
and putting on brown noise and and working out and
like whatever that thing is. Because I feel like we're
not taught that there.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Should be a thing. It's just put your head down,
get to work, clock in, clock out, come home, provide
for your family. You know. It's it's a it's a
bit of.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
A hamster wheel a little bit right, And I get
it right, you know, like you said, you get older,
you have kids, you have a family, You're just trying
to survive.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
You're just trying to do your things. So I understand. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
And it's also you know, this goes beyond our culture too,
to your point.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
You know, I mean, there's so many cultures out there
that have had to you know, keep their head down
and keep digging, you know, and discourse for anyone. It
doesn't matter if you're white, if you're black, if you're brown,
if you Asian. You know, it doesn't matter. You know,
we all carry certain multi generational burdens, you know that
that we feel we have to kind of continue to carry.
And that doesn't mean you ever need to forget what
(22:31):
and who you are and what it took for you
to become what you are. It just feels like this
is a moment where you can allow yourself to love
yourself a little harder than before. Just love yourself a
little harder, you know, you need to take a nap.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Take a nap, right right, simple example.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
It's like, if we can make it obtainable and make
it attainable, you know, and I think about also, you know,
our ability to pass down to the next generation the
tools they need to continue to you know, outlive tyranny,
you know, to continue to move forward and disrupt and
and build and in order if we're going to go
and disrupt and build a new you know, a new marketable,
(23:15):
equitable place for our culture, you know, we're gonna have
to take care of some things, you know, because we're
gonna continue to take some hits on the way.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
There. You talk about you know, projection.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
And it's all real, right, and yeah, I mean that's
that's that's one of those things. I mean, you're in
this in this subject in this episode. I you know,
I I think you and I have lived long enough.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
We have so many incredible people.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
In our lives, but we're also lost so many people
in our lives to depression, to stress, you know, to
the complicity of like you know, you know, not meeting
expectations to yourself or to others, or you know, there's
just so much about the depression that's just scary, especially
in the artist community. Man, it's a torture community, you know,
(24:05):
it's a sad community. It's a broken community.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
That defines light and art, you know. And when art.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Is isn't diluted or fractured by an industry that's you know,
that has to make money, you know, it's hard for you.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
To continue to enjoy it, you know.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
And you know, I've lost a lot of friends to
you know, unfortunate unfortunate suicides, drug addictions.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
You know, And and it's really really scary.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Yeah, because they have no place to direct that that
whatever it is that's happening inside. You know, did you
find your parents ever had some place to direct that
where they could release that.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
My mom never has. She wears it like the baddest
woman alive.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
There are times when I've seen her crime, you know,
and and when she cries, she lets some of all
of that stuff out.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
You can tell. It's like thirty forty years of things
they just.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Like come out in one cry and then and then
she doesn't cry for like another ten years. My mom is,
at eyesight, the strongest woman've ever met in my life.
But that doesn't mean she's not putting it together inside
of her every day, you know, trying to like get it,
(25:29):
you know, get it to a happier place.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
It doesn't doesn't, you know, doesn't wear it on her sleeve.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
No, she will never know.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
You will never know, right, And you know, I would
say that my daughter has definitely brought new sunshine into
her house.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
And the same thing with my dad.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, they all, you know, they all have things that
they just I don't know if they'll ever be able
to say out loud how they feel, whether they're sad
or not. And I mean I think my dad in
his older age, I think he's definitely a lot softer now,
and you know, he cries a lot easier, you know,
and he cries of happiness, he cries of you know,
all these things.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
But yeah, I don't think they have either, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
And I think it's a pattern, right, It's like that's
a that's the thing, you know, it's a it's a
it's a pattern that happens in our lives.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So do you feel that you've broken that pattern?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I think I have. I'm more conscious, you know. I mean,
look the way we talk to each other, right, there's
times when you call me I'm like, hey, I just
want to make sure right, to make sure that you know,
you knew kind of how I meant when I send
you that text, right, Like our parents would never do that.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
They're like take it, to leave it and see whatever
it comes back. You know.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
But you're so much more aware of the atmosphere than
the harmony that you create in your life. And like,
you know, you and I never had an uncomfortable situation.
We've never had a situation where we're like it has
to get to like not talking, like why, Like I
can't even fathom not talking to Freddie, you know what
I mean, Like it doesn't make sense, right, Like, we
(27:07):
don't we don't have the we don't have the stubbornness
to say like.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Oh he calls me, yeah, no, no, I call you first.
You called me first. If he's quatched whatever, it's gonna call.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
And we've never had to by the way, just for
the record, we've never had to squatch anything, you know.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
But you've always been an incredibly supportive friend.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
Thank you, brother, Thank you man, and same same, And
I'm really happy that we're using this platform to to
talk about this. You have no idea how many times
I've had the same conversation behind the scenes with people
who don't don't feel comfortable talking about it, don't feel
comfortable bringing that subject matter on.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You know.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
I've you know, I can't begin to tell you how
many people I've come across, whether people I'm close to
or not, who are just in so much pain. You know,
they're just in so much pain, and that pain continues
to bleed in places where it shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You know.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
And then when I start, when I begin to have
these conversations about healing, they look at me like I'm
crazy sometimes, you know, or like I'm presenting some sort
of new agey thing, you know. You know, I had
a friend of mine who's like, oh, man, it's just
some Hollywood shit, man.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
You know, I'm like, no, dude, it's not Hollywood shit.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
Man.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
It's it's you know, you're going through some stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
And you have to heal from it.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
You know.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
It's like the concept of having to heal from it
is like it's foreign, you know.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Yeah, no, it's it's very real. It's very real.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Well, look, I feel happy that we can have a
platform to just be vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
And say, hey, we don't have all the answers here.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
We're not supposed to have all the answers, but we
at the very least can create a space where we
can all just say it out loud, you know, just
say that like we don't have it all together or
sometimes you know, and and that we're you know, we're
trying to be strong, and we're trying to be happy
with where we live and with the few years that we.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
May have left in this earth. You gotta make the
most of it, you know.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
So you know, for everyone who's listening and everyone who's
out there at home feeling and you know, and wondering
if there's anyone out there that would understand or or
feels the.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Way you do, You're understood. There is a world, there
is a place.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
You know, and we share it all together, and you'll
be surprised how many people out there are willing to
not just pick up the phone but be there before you.
So if you're in a dark place and you're going
to something and this happens to finds you, please know
that there's hodlines, there's friends, you know, there's family members
you haven't called, and you're not alone in that feeling.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
Yeah, don't and don't allow how you've been brought up,
Dictate the moves that you make.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
In order to get help right.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
You know. I've run into that so many times, you know,
where people are like, well, that's not how my parents
did it, that's not how my grandparents did it. Well,
this is a different time and a different generation, you know.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
And there's nothing more courageous, yeah, than saying how you feel.
It takes real bravery, a real courage to just speak
aloud and say I'm not okay. There's no strength in
like swallowing it. The strength really comes from you taking
its power by actually invoking it out loud. Once he
(30:42):
leaves your mouth, he leaves your body. So the more
you can express it, the faster you can get to healing.
And anyway, I hope this episode helped you, guys, And
I want to thank Josh, you know, forgiving us this
varies and know, drink really delicious drink, and Josh really
(31:03):
appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Man, appreciate you, guys.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
And this is those Amigos.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
I am Wilmer Valderrama, I am Freddie Rodriguez and we
are signing off. Dose Amigos is a production from WV
Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael through That podcast network, hosted by Me,
Freddie Rodriguez and Wilmer Valdorama.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burlson and Sophie Spencers Abos.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Our executive producers are Wilmer Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson
and Leo Klem at WV Sound.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
This episode was shot and edited it by Ryan Posts
and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by
Madison Devenport and Helo Boy.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Our cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed
by Deny Holtzkall and.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Thank you for being at Third Amigo today. I appreciate
you guys always listening to Those Amigos.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
The more podcasts from my Heart, visit the ir heart
Radio app, apple Pot Podcast, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
See you next week.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
M
Okay, salute, salute.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Hi, I am Freddie Rodriguez and I'm Wilmer Valdoroma.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
We are in the Dose Amigos podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Well, thank you so much for everyone who's been prescribing
and downloading.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
It's so amazing that you'll have been looking for us
everywhere else that we are available and and.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Just enjoying these conversations.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
You know, the idea of this podcast was to kind
of come together, reflect look ahead, but also be present
and enjoying and enjoying our friendship and the life that
we've lived, you know, in the legacy we're leaving behind.
And I think in this episode, you know, we wanted
to kind of domestify, you know, some of these things
(00:55):
you know that you know, multi generation that we've been
passed down, you know, I know mental health oth is
a is a big subject, you know, something that a
lot of people, you know struggle with today and and
you know, perhaps some of our listeners in this very
moment are going through a really difficult time. So we
thought it'd be cool to just say, hey, you know,
let's reflect on some of the things that we do
for ourselves. You know, some of the things that you
(01:17):
know that has gotten us through the darkness. You know,
our jobs, this career could be so so you know,
so tough, you know, rejection and the negativity that can
be surrounded by you know, it could be not just scary,
but could also really be.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Daunting.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It's hard to find the path, you know, when you're
when you're when you enter in these zones, and how
do you keep yourself yourself saying how do you keep
priority as the guide in light? And you know, how
do you protect yourself in all these ways? And we had.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
To do things right.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
We had to kind of figure out what are these
things that you treat you know yourself to you know,
and you know, I'll start with you know my version, right.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I started this thing called my hour.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
A day that if if in twenty four hours you
didn't have one hour for yourself, then what.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Did you do for yourself today?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
In other words, like.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Today match tomorrow or didn't match yesterday? Like how do
you you know, how did what did tuesday? What was
Tuesday different than Wednesday? And it's in that hour sometimes
when when our daily routine is going to work, you know,
getting on the same freeway, you know, making those similar
phone calls and then getting home and having a version
of the dinner we had before.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
You know what about that day made you remember it?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
You know, in that hour that I would afford myself
could be in the form of fitness, right which I
like to work out, listen to loud meal say, can
really get in the mood and like you know, and
sing out loud, and you know, it could be a swim,
it could be a walk, It could be a meditation.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It could be reading a chapter of your favorite book.
You know. It could be you know, watching an episode
of something you know.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
And I think that the idea was that my hour
day kind of inspire us all to kind of take charge,
you know, and break the patterns of our daily lives,
you know.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
And and find that.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
But do you have something like that? Do you have
something like a you know, like my hour day? But
you know what, what do you what do you do
for yourself when it comes to like I want to
recenter again, I want to recharge.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
A couple of years ago I went and I took
an intensive it's called TM Transcendental Meditation course, and it
was it was a three day course where they teach
you how to meditate. They give you a mantra, you know,
and it really helped me in so many different ways.
(03:38):
It helped me get centered. You know, I think it's
really normal in our industry for us to get anxious, right,
you know, for anxiety to be so prevalent in our
industry and in life, right, that's you know, obviously.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
A byproduct of stress. Right.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
And so I learned how to do that and it
and it also helped me in my in my acting
as well. You know, I find I remember one time,
I think we said this in the other episode, Andy
Garcia gave me some good advice.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
He said, he said, just stay loose, man, stay loose.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Sometimes it's hard to stay loose, you know, when you're
when you're tense, when you're stressed, stakes are high, stakes
are high. Right, you don't know if other people on
set are disturbing your peace. You know, there's a multitude
of different elements that could affect that. And thus I
(04:34):
feel could affect your performance, you know. And I found
that meditation really helped me get centered, uh and help
me get focused enough that if any of that tried
to come into my space, I had the tools to
be able to deflect from that.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Uh. And and that and even in my regular life,
you know, just whatever stresses.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Or anxieties we're going through it, just a little bit
of that a few days, a few times a day
really helps combat that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So question.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
So there's so many forms of meditation, and I encourage
everyone to find their anthem, right, Like, go out there
and find all different versions of meditation and see which
one speaks to you, which one centers.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
You in waste that you never thought you could be before.
But for you, what is that?
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Do you mind talking a little bit about what is
the version of meditation you do it?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
It's twenty minutes, two times a day. Oh, two times
a day, two times a day?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Is there specifically morning and evening?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Or I tend to do it?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah. You know.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
It's funny because the perception is that if you meditate,
it makes you sleepy, but it actually gives you some energy,
And so they encourage you to do it early in
order for you to take advantage of that energy, right,
and for you not to do it like right before
bed because they.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Think you'd be up.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
So for me, it's a it's a combination of that
some prayer you know in the mornings, ah, some reading,
but you know, you have to equip yourself with the
tools right in whatever you do, whatever it is, whatever
you're dealing with in your life, right, you always need
a set of tools.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
That's that's going to help you get through it, right, buddy.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I mean, what's what's the hour a day for me?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Is it the same every single day or is it?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Well, it depends because I have forfeited my lunch, which
used to be my forty five minutes of just like
shutting it down. Are either closing my eyes or reading
or whatever I have to do. I have to forfeit
it to zoom meetings because I have just running out
of hours of the day to do all my business stuff.
But I will say my hour day starts really early.
You know, I'm the guy who gets up at four
(06:46):
to thirty in the morning. Wow, I'll be in the
gym at four thirty and that gives me actually a
good hour and forty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Even if you get to bed late, you're getting up
at four in the morning.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I have to do it, Wow, I have to do it.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I have to just walk, you know. I walked through
the kitchen out through the kitchen door. I stepped down.
I walked towards my gym outside in the open. The
sky is full of stars, the air is crisp, cold, right,
the grass is still icy.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You know that.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Eventually you make it into you know, the serenity of
the night, and then you make it into the gym.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
You make it into the.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Gym, you turn up your music and then you stretch. Yeah,
you know, just you and at times, you know, my
my my trainer at the time, you know, obviously, you know,
come in and four thirty in the morning, I meet
me there in the morning.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
We'll do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
And there'll be times, well I'll just be there by
myself four thirty in the morning, just like nothing new.
You can hear a sound right that time. Occasionally you
cross a couple of coyotes, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
On your way to the gym.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
But I walk in there and I will stretch, I
will warm up, and then I will just turn the
music to something that will make me happy, like I'll
do some Mark Anthony songs, so you know, I'll do
like some really lively, loud music and then that would
put me in that mood and then that that really
really would help it.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Puld set up this.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Tone so then I go from there, you know, take
a shower, give him the car, and then traffic didn't
bother me, you know. Then I would just go get
to the four or five eventually get down to where
we shoot, uh in Cis and then and then and
then I'd be I had such a running start, you know,
(08:27):
a lot of my co stars we just had working
up rolling running to.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Said are you already already two and a half hours?
So up, you know, going? Then I did walk in
annoyingly optimistic.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
You know, are you Are you a breakfast guy or
you are you a car I love breakfast. Uh sometimes
I've had to do programs where I'm animated fasting, you know,
but some for the most part, I'd like to have
my breakfast in the morning.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
If you do it before or after the workout, I
do it after.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Yeah, you know, I do it after because you know,
I like to kind of do a little bit a
fast workout.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I feel like I'm burning more, you know, I'm reaching
from what's in there, you know. And then.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
You know, and then I'll just have a shake or
a world to have a breakfast right away and I
get to work, and you know, and I'll just you
would have to eat.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
But then once you once you start your start man,
like you know, you.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Know how it is once you get to said, you're
on the all time and just bringing it, you know,
and each scene could be three pages, you know, hard goores,
you know. But but that really helps me, you know,
just kind of getting a Ronnie Star at it. If
I'm traveling somewhere, when I'm in the plane, I'll find
a way to just do some You guys can go
(09:38):
to any of your streaming music devices and go look
for brown noise brown and that it sounds funny because
you know you're not brown, but brown noise is like
this deep, deep, you know sound.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It's like a wide noise.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
That people used to sleeping sometimes, but the brown noise
is so deep. It has like this really really basic
kind of you know structure, and as soon as it
goes on, it almost feels like the wound of.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
A mother, you know, and you're just.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Sleeping in there, you know, And like that's one way
to really turn it off. Once that brown noise explained
in your heart and your mind, you're not thinking about
anything else, right, nothing outside, nothing inside your your your
mind is able to kind of slow it down, you're
focusing on the sound, and then at that very moment
(10:32):
you're able to let go a little bit. The tense
on your shoulders go away, you know, the quick thinking
slows down, and that really helps. But brown noise is
an interesting one. Else to sleep with brown noise because
it's such just so relaxing.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, yeah, it's quieting the brain.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Do you sleep with that noise maker?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I do?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah, it's toff.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I've been to hotel rooms where I'm like, it's too
quiet in here, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I have to.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
If you go on youtubeb and you and you put
like thunderstorm black screen, there's like twelve hours worth of
stuff like that on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
You listen to storms. Yeah, that's that's the thing all night.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Yeah, but with a black screen, so it's just it's
just the sound of the storm in the back.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, but I need something like that.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
When did you realize that what was that moment? What
was that thing? Well, what was that experience that made
you think or made you realize that you really needed to.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Have this structure of meditation and prayer.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I you know, I think that.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
You know, going through our business, uh and going through
the stresses of it. Eventually it starts to get to you.
You know, it starts to affect you and affect your
mental health. And you know, when you're young and then
you're in your twenties, you think you're resilient to everything, right,
and then all of a sudden, you start to get
older and you start ago, I should probably start doing
(12:02):
something about this, uh uh. And then and then you know,
I had, you know, my my pop passed away, and
you know, had you know, a couple of debts in
the family, and that really like rocks you you know,
rocks your core.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
And then you start to seek out ways to deal
with it, you know, especially in our industry, right, it's
so it's so easy to turn to other things as
opposed to meditation.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Or prayer or whatever.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
You know, it's really easy to start diving into the
substance stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
You know, it's never been my thing, but.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Sure, you know, but in our professor and it's it's
a you know, it's it's a tough card. You know,
being being dealt at that card is is tricky. You know,
nobody equips you with this industry. In most careers, you
do the work, you show up, you put in your hours,
you go home, right, you get paid hourly, you get
paid you know, a yearly rate whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Whatever that is.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
But in our profession, and it's it's so much uncertainty.
You know, when your next job is going to be,
you know, and if a show ends, you know, like
you got to get a new one, you're out with
that is, you know, and you hope it's something that
can hopefully pay the road for the rest of your career,
you know.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But but it's tough. I mean this, there's some high
pressures that comes.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
With what we do.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Yeah, it does a number on your nervous system, you know,
and so you have to really start paying attention to
those things. And as you get older, you start to
realize that. You know, when you're younger, you think you're superman.
You know, you don't pay pay attention to any of
that stuff, right, But but you know, whether it's that
or like even therapy, you know, as we continue this
(13:38):
conversation about Latinos and mental health, you know, therapy is
something that Latinos and look, and I'm speaking on my
own behalf, right, Like, I feel like within our culture
is not really something that's at the forefront or.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
It's talked about or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
No, No, we always put a little dirt on it, you.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Know, have a little dirt on it.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
But before we dive into these multi generational shading of
the patterns, I want to acknowledge there are you know,
our thro amigo. Here is you know, Josh, Josh in
the In the name of you know, having this be
our our zen moment, we decided that maybe Josh can
(14:21):
help us.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
With a mocktail.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
A mocktail, you know, yeah, something that can bring our
senses up to a different level.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Josh, what do you make for us today? Today?
Speaker 3 (14:30):
We're going to make a mint, tarragon cucumber, just a
refreshing a small water cooler.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, you know, something to kind of get the.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Mind right, set the tone that Japanese citrus in there,
also sudachi.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Just give it a little little tanginess to it. Very good.
That sounds great, sounds that wish to meditate that to that.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
Yeah, you know, we should be in the sauna.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Absolutely, that's awesome. Can't wait to taste it. But yeah, man, But.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
But speaking of multi generational tools, we've never been I
don't think I can speak for myself.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I don't think we've been ever given.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Tools and how to actually cope, how to actually not
just cope, but like, how do we how do we process? Yeah,
how do we process trauma? How do we how do
we endure it? You know, how do we get through it?
And then most importantly, how do we set up ourselves
for success?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
You know?
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Would you agree that that it does something that it's hard?
You know in our culture somehow that passed to us somehow.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I just I just think that in our culture, we're
taught to suppress trauma, suppress feeling, suppress and and keep
and keep your head down and keep moving forward. Right,
But when you start to learn as you get older,
is that you know, it's it's it's like a pressure cooker, right,
(16:03):
Like you suppress, you suppress. Eventually, it's gonna have to
come out somewhere, right, It's gonna seep through the hole somehow.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Right.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Oh yeah, wow, Okay, even the collar feels like it
took me to a Japanese garden, thank you?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah so much? Look at that a salute? Yeah, mint
on the top there has mint and tarragon and sudachi,
which is a Japanese citrus cucumber inside of there. Like
I said, just a small water.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Oh my, yeah, but that's delicious.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Oh my josh, this is pretty good. It's is damn good.
Thank you. Very refreshing.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Be getting back up on multi generational inheritance. I have
discover myself, my own life, and through my parents. I
never saw my dad process a bad day. I never
saw my mom complain about what it could have been. Yeah,
(17:12):
they just kept looking ahead.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
They kept driving forward, ignoring the wounds and ignoring.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
The scars that they had from the sacrifices they undeniably
had to make.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, you know that.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
And you know, specifically for us, who are you know,
sons who are very aware of the household and what's
happening and what our responsibility would be. You know, it's
hard not to be aware of some of the turmoil,
some of the pain and some of the stress, you know,
some of the trauma that your mom or your dad
might be carrying as you become an adult. You know,
(17:48):
do you feel like, do you ever saw your parents
like taking a bead or one for a walk or
like or you know.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It was just like absolutely not right.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
No, you know I think that that are both of
our parents came from other places in the United States,
and and and their their lives sort of the survival mechanism, right,
And that's part of the survival mechanism.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
It's everything you just said. You just you just.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Put your head down and you look forward and all
the stuff you just listed, and you survive. You know,
you put the blinders on and you survive. However, like
I was saying earlier, I feel like eventually you're you're
suppressing all the stuff that you're going through, right, all
the trauma that you've experienced, and eventually it has to
come out someway.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Somehow, and what I don't know, what form, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
You know, people sometimes channel that into alcoholism. Sometimes people
channel that into drugs.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Sometimes sometimes it manifests in projections onto your family and
through your kids.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
You know, your kids bear you.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Know, some of that that sadness, that's some of that depression,
some of that inner you know anger. It's so important
to you know, for us as we kind of hold
the baton in this next phase of our generation to
kind of pass down to the next version of ourselves,
(19:16):
you know, better tools to figure out that if you're
going to continue to carry this storch, you know, you
got to find some outlets. You know, you have to
let some things go, you know, and look, by all
means we're not ever advertising here that we're the end masters.
I mean we have to carry stress we're doing. We're actors, right,
(19:39):
like actors have to really kind of you know unfortunately,
you know, good job for job, and you know, even
though this is our careers and this is what we do,
their level of inconsistency is not like you get in
a doctor's office and you can work there for ten years.
It's just not how it works, right, Like you can
do a movie this summer, you may not get another
one until next winter or the following winter.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
A year and a half from that winter.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
You know, you get a TV show nobody saw I
got canceled three episodes in, you know, and like, so
there's a lot of uncertainty that's distressful. And then you
become an adult, right, and then you have a family,
you have kids, but this is what you do, you're
an actor, and and you know, so and so I
(20:24):
reflected on that and then I and I flipped the
coin and said, wow, our parents did what they could,
and they did what they had to.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
What would you say to that next generation? What would
you say to to the next version.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Of all of us, you know, that says you know,
all Latinos, you know, you know, when it comes to
mental health, they just put some.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Dirt on it, you know, which is what I was
saying earlier. What would you say to that?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I think that it's important to.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Find what that outlet is, to let out whatever it
is you're suppressing, right, whatever anger, whatever trauma it is
you're suppressing, because otherwise it will it will come out.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
You know.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
It's like it's like putting a band aid, right, You're
going to bleed somewhere, you know, and you don't want
to be bleeding on your spouse or you know, or
someone that you really love. And and I feel like
our culture in particular are not encouraged to do that,
you know.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
And I'm not I'm not.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Sitting here as like an advocate for like therapy for example,
you know, but like whatever that thing is, you know,
is it is it?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Is it prayer?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Is it meditation? Is it?
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Is it worth waking up at four in the morning
and putting on brown noise and and working out and
like whatever that thing is. Because I feel like we're
not taught that there.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Should be a thing. It's just put your head down,
get to work, clock in, clock out, come home, provide
for your family. You know. It's it's a it's a
bit of.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
A hamster wheel a little bit right, And I get
it right, you know, like you said, you get older,
you have kids, you have a family, You're just trying
to survive.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
You're just trying to do your things. So I understand. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
And it's also you know, this goes beyond our culture too,
to your point.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
You know, I mean, there's so many cultures out there
that have had to you know, keep their head down
and keep digging, you know, and discourse for anyone. It
doesn't matter if you're white, if you're black, if you're brown,
if you Asian. You know, it doesn't matter. You know,
we all carry certain multi generational burdens, you know that
that we feel we have to kind of continue to carry.
And that doesn't mean you ever need to forget what
(22:31):
and who you are and what it took for you
to become what you are. It just feels like this
is a moment where you can allow yourself to love
yourself a little harder than before. Just love yourself a
little harder, you know, you need to take a nap.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Take a nap, right right, simple example.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
It's like, if we can make it obtainable and make
it attainable, you know, and I think about also, you know,
our ability to pass down to the next generation the
tools they need to continue to you know, outlive tyranny,
you know, to continue to move forward and disrupt and
and build and in order if we're going to go
and disrupt and build a new you know, a new marketable,
(23:15):
equitable place for our culture, you know, we're gonna have
to take care of some things, you know, because we're
gonna continue to take some hits on the way.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
There. You talk about you know, projection.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
And it's all real, right, and yeah, I mean that's
that's that's one of those things. I mean, you're in
this in this subject in this episode. I you know,
I I think you and I have lived long enough.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
We have so many incredible people.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
In our lives, but we're also lost so many people
in our lives to depression, to stress, you know, to
the complicity of like you know, you know, not meeting
expectations to yourself or to others, or you know, there's
just so much about the depression that's just scary, especially
in the artist community. Man, it's a torture community, you know,
(24:05):
it's a sad community. It's a broken community.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
That defines light and art, you know. And when art.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Is isn't diluted or fractured by an industry that's you know,
that has to make money, you know, it's hard for you.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
To continue to enjoy it, you know.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
And you know, I've lost a lot of friends to
you know, unfortunate unfortunate suicides, drug addictions.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
You know, And and it's really really scary.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Yeah, because they have no place to direct that that
whatever it is that's happening inside. You know, did you
find your parents ever had some place to direct that
where they could release that.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
My mom never has. She wears it like the baddest
woman alive.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
There are times when I've seen her crime, you know,
and and when she cries, she lets some of all
of that stuff out.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
You can tell. It's like thirty forty years of things
they just.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Like come out in one cry and then and then
she doesn't cry for like another ten years. My mom is,
at eyesight, the strongest woman've ever met in my life.
But that doesn't mean she's not putting it together inside
of her every day, you know, trying to like get it,
(25:29):
you know, get it to a happier place.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
It doesn't doesn't, you know, doesn't wear it on her sleeve.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
No, she will never know.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
You will never know, right, And you know, I would
say that my daughter has definitely brought new sunshine into
her house.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
And the same thing with my dad.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, they all, you know, they all have things that
they just I don't know if they'll ever be able
to say out loud how they feel, whether they're sad
or not. And I mean I think my dad in
his older age, I think he's definitely a lot softer now,
and you know, he cries a lot easier, you know,
and he cries of happiness, he cries of you know,
all these things.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
But yeah, I don't think they have either, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
And I think it's a pattern, right, It's like that's
a that's the thing, you know, it's a it's a
it's a pattern that happens in our lives.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So do you feel that you've broken that pattern?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I think I have. I'm more conscious, you know. I mean,
look the way we talk to each other, right, there's
times when you call me I'm like, hey, I just
want to make sure right, to make sure that you know,
you knew kind of how I meant when I send
you that text, right, Like our parents would never do that.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
They're like take it, to leave it and see whatever
it comes back. You know.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
But you're so much more aware of the atmosphere than
the harmony that you create in your life. And like,
you know, you and I never had an uncomfortable situation.
We've never had a situation where we're like it has
to get to like not talking, like why, Like I
can't even fathom not talking to Freddie, you know what
I mean, Like it doesn't make sense, right, Like, we
(27:07):
don't we don't have the we don't have the stubbornness
to say like.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Oh he calls me, yeah, no, no, I call you first.
You called me first. If he's quatched whatever, it's gonna call.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
And we've never had to by the way, just for
the record, we've never had to squatch anything, you know.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
But you've always been an incredibly supportive friend.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
Thank you, brother, Thank you man, and same same, And
I'm really happy that we're using this platform to to
talk about this. You have no idea how many times
I've had the same conversation behind the scenes with people
who don't don't feel comfortable talking about it, don't feel
comfortable bringing that subject matter on.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You know.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
I've you know, I can't begin to tell you how
many people I've come across, whether people I'm close to
or not, who are just in so much pain. You know,
they're just in so much pain, and that pain continues
to bleed in places where it shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You know.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
And then when I start, when I begin to have
these conversations about healing, they look at me like I'm
crazy sometimes, you know, or like I'm presenting some sort
of new agey thing, you know. You know, I had
a friend of mine who's like, oh, man, it's just
some Hollywood shit, man.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
You know, I'm like, no, dude, it's not Hollywood shit.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
Man.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
It's it's you know, you're going through some stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
And you have to heal from it.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
You know.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
It's like the concept of having to heal from it
is like it's foreign, you know.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Yeah, no, it's it's very real. It's very real.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Well, look, I feel happy that we can have a
platform to just be vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
And say, hey, we don't have all the answers here.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
We're not supposed to have all the answers, but we
at the very least can create a space where we
can all just say it out loud, you know, just
say that like we don't have it all together or
sometimes you know, and and that we're you know, we're
trying to be strong, and we're trying to be happy
with where we live and with the few years that we.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
May have left in this earth. You gotta make the
most of it, you know.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
So you know, for everyone who's listening and everyone who's
out there at home feeling and you know, and wondering
if there's anyone out there that would understand or or
feels the.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Way you do, You're understood. There is a world, there
is a place.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
You know, and we share it all together, and you'll
be surprised how many people out there are willing to
not just pick up the phone but be there before you.
So if you're in a dark place and you're going
to something and this happens to finds you, please know
that there's hodlines, there's friends, you know, there's family members
you haven't called, and you're not alone in that feeling.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
Yeah, don't and don't allow how you've been brought up,
Dictate the moves that you make.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
In order to get help right.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
You know. I've run into that so many times, you know,
where people are like, well, that's not how my parents
did it, that's not how my grandparents did it. Well,
this is a different time and a different generation, you know.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
And there's nothing more courageous, yeah, than saying how you feel.
It takes real bravery, a real courage to just speak
aloud and say I'm not okay. There's no strength in
like swallowing it. The strength really comes from you taking
its power by actually invoking it out loud. Once he
(30:42):
leaves your mouth, he leaves your body. So the more
you can express it, the faster you can get to healing.
And anyway, I hope this episode helped you, guys, And
I want to thank Josh, you know, forgiving us this
varies and know, drink really delicious drink, and Josh really
(31:03):
appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Man, appreciate you, guys.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
And this is those Amigos.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
I am Wilmer Valderrama, I am Freddie Rodriguez and we
are signing off. Dose Amigos is a production from WV
Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael through That podcast network, hosted by Me,
Freddie Rodriguez and Wilmer Valdorama.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burlson and Sophie Spencers Abos.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Our executive producers are Wilmer Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson
and Leo Klem at WV Sound.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
This episode was shot and edited it by Ryan Posts
and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by
Madison Devenport and Helo Boy.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Our cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed
by Deny Holtzkall and.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Thank you for being at Third Amigo today. I appreciate
you guys always listening to Those Amigos.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
The more podcasts from my Heart, visit the ir heart
Radio app, apple Pot Podcast, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
See you next week.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
M
Hosts And Creators
Wilmer Valderrama
Freddy Rodriguez
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com