August 28, 2025 • 38 mins
In this heartfelt episode, Wilmer shares the emotional experience of becoming a father for the second time and the deep meaning behind his new baby’s name. He and Freddy also reflect on lessons from their own childhoods, discussing parental discipline, emotional presence, and breaking generational patterns. They explore the joys and challenges of helping older siblings adjust to a new baby, including how to create connection and shared ownership. Lastly, they share insights on raising kids in a digital world and finding balance between tradition, technology, and intentional parenting.
“Dos Amigos” is a comedic and insightful podcast hosted by two friends who’ve journeyed through Hollywood and life together. Wilmer Valderrama and Freddy Rodriguez push through the noise of everyday life and ruminate on a bevy of topics through fun and daring, and occasionally a third amigo joins the mix!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wilmer has that I've been up for a couple of days.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Look, yeah, set about.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Why do you look like that?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
You know?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I decided, uh yeah, that in order for me to
lose as much sleep as I possibly can.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yeah, as you have a second child. Ah yeah, that'll
do it.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I thought, I tell her, we'll do it. I said,
let me try it.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
A lot of my friends have tried this, like, I
don't want to sleep anymore.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Because you don't have enough going on.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
No, And I just talked to myself like, besides all
the things that are happening and going on, like, how
can I put the icing on my sanity?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Right? Welcome everyone, This is Warmer Valderama.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
This is Freddie Rodrick.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
This is Do Amigos podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Thank you all for listening, and thank you all for
tuning in and downloading and watching it on YouTube and
all that. Thank you also to all of our guests.
We've had some really great guests and we have a
couple of episodes. I hope people enjoyed the wisdom some
of them have brought to this space of serenity. And
we are smoking a cigar and I know what's up.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You have to be can well see that back there.
Wimer has this great humid door.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
We gotta just finish, you know, we'll have the cigar episode.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I remember a couple of months ago you brought out
a cigar and you were like you were talking the
cigar up and you were you were telling me how fancy.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
It was made.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
But then you put it back in the in the humidor.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I want to because I just felt like, Okay, you know,
I just came back from occasion.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I had a couple of cigars. I didn't have to
have that there.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
But we have to figure out because we got to
have the cigar my wife had, My lady had our
second time, Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Me, congratulations, Thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
She is an absolute hero. She did incredible and I
mean odd of what women do. Were you there, Yes,
this is my second time. I'm witnessing my lady bring
miracles to that.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Just yes, I mean were you there when?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Yeah, it's unbelievable. You know, like it's impossible to not
be like, can I rub.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Your feet today? You know, because you don't have to
push a baby out. It's like we need to do
more for them, right, But it was really beautiful shout
out to everybody.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
A theater Sinaide, joining a great house friend over there
who really helped us with everything. But you know, Cedars
are really taking care of us two children now there,
They're just unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
She was born there too.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Oh yeah, yeah, and he was born on seven eleven,
which a lot of people call me immediately like wow,
how cool, free slur piece.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
As if you planned it that way.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, and we know that he was supposed to be
born on the twenty fifth.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
It was a do date, and he came on the eleventh,
which was great because I was going back to work
on the sixteen, so he gave me a couple of
days just to be home before I had to get
clocked back into t n c I S.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
But where the name? Where'd the name come from?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
So?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Well, so, for like so many years, the wolf has
been my spirit animal. I just love the wolf mentality,
the pac mentality, examily mentality. I love the way they
organize for survival and all that stuff, and and and
how they ride for each other, you know, and and
so I always kept with that my friends, and you know,
like we're all kind of been subliminately the wolf pack,
(03:29):
you know. So Amanda surprised me with that. She's like, hey,
I really like Wolf, and I was like, yeah, I
didn't want to say like, I love it too, so
it'd be like it's your idea, Yes, it's your idea.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
And I was like, yeah, that sounds so great.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Well you named this one, you know, because I obviously
got away with mine with Nicando, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
But but we both agreed Wolf was a cool spirit,
you know.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
And then his name, his middle name is Monte, and
Monte and kind of an Italian means mountains. So we thought,
you know, she's the ocean. Her middle name is Oshiana,
so we thought she's the tranquility in the balance of
the ocean, and he's the you.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Know, the she's the ocean too, you know, to his mountain.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Yeah, so it's been it's been kind of cool to
see if we're no longer here with them, Yeah, that
they know they can have each other and coexistence. So
they became a little bit more profound than than just
to name. But so he's the Wolf and she's the
honorable Geisha, the female warrior.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
How do you feel about getting ready to wipe butt again?
That's three in the morning.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I'm glad you asked and I'm glad you asked it.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And this is gonna also turn into an advice to
every dad out there, whether it's your first, or your
second or your third.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I cannot stress this enough.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Change the first diaper, and change as many diapers as
you possibly can could it is it is a privilege,
an honor to change your sons or.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Daughter's kulito to wipe that.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
But yeah, like that, that is the most a beautiful
offering of care and nurturing you and your kid. And
I'm gonna tell all dads also that change as many
diapers as you can until they turned one, so then
your wife will never be able to say that they
(05:27):
never change diapers.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Are you guys on shifts?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Are you the are you the three o'clock in the
morning guy? To wipe the diaper, to wipe the butter?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Well, we have to change his diaper every time he feeds,
because every time he feeds, it gets very festive.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
It gets festive. Yeah, yes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
It's like confetti, Like there's just a confetti little popper
that happens as soon as he tastes that delicious dairy, right.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
And he's not on sid wait wait, wait till he
gets on You remember that, right.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yea, yeah, and that's what I said, potato, So they
have solids, right to be like, hey, change to eat
that print, take it a break.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
And then when it's three in the morning and he
starts to have solids and she's elbowing you together.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, and I gotta take one for the team, you know.
But you know, I actually don't don't really mind it
very much.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
It's it's it's part of it, right, It's like part
of the whole thing. And you just think about this.
One day you're not going to change a diaper and
you'll realize, wow, I kind of that was a moment, right,
and it went and it no longer here. But Nakano
like she's you know, she goes and takes care of
her own business and and like, yeah, and that feels
(06:39):
funny because she's like, I did all by myself, daddy,
and I'm like, but I want to help now.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
It's very funny.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
But but yeah, anyways, is there anything that you learned
from your experience with Ncano that that you're like, I
wish I would have known that with Nacano, But now
that I do know that I'm going to apply it
with Wolf.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
I think, like we practice a certain level of frequency
at the house, you know, like there's no like high tensions.
You know, we don't you know, we don't have discussions
or arguments in front of the kids.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
You know, like there's a level.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
We also have to show a certain level of balance
when we deal with adversity in front of our kids,
you know, so they understand that's also a choice for them.
I think that's the biggest one for me. It's just
to say, hey, you know, take a deep breath first. Yeah,
you know, And that's what we've tried to teaching account
As soon as she's feeling her emotions are hard to control.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Hold on, let's low down, take a deep breath all
the time.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
And now when you have your attention, okay, tell me
what's going on, this and this and this, Okay, cool,
then let's go. You know, let's change your socks and
it doesn't hurt anymore when you wear your little jellies,
you know. Like so it's like stuff like that, that,
like there's simple equations that if you I don't know,
if you offer that, they have the choice to slow
things down a little bit. So they can see the
clear path, maybe it turns into some type of like
(08:04):
how do I see down the road? So I think
that's the one thing I think I really want to
pass down to.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Why did you make that conscious choice with her? You know?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I think I saw when I was really young, I
saw something with my family, my mom and my dad
that should have been a more frantic reaction. There was
something that happened, you know, and it was like really
really impactful.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Right. It's like we were at some you know, we
were at you know, at a soccer.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Field, you know, and you know, some guys came up
and confronted a guy and it like escalated very quickly,
and my dad, without missing it, beat, he's like, your soccer,
grab your things, whatever we're getting in the car, gets
in the car, and then we left. But other people
were like running and this and whatever, you know. And
(08:54):
it was the way that my dad and my mom
reacted to this high moment of intensity that told me, oh,
had a choice to kind of slow things down a
little bit. Take it the breath one two through what
are the steps?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Pace one?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Face two, phase three And and I've carried us since
I was a little since a little boy, you know,
I haven't reacted with emotions first, you know, I kind
of just like listen first, and I think that's what.
Then he listened to his environment, he did what he
had to do to get us out of there, and
then it made me feel like, oh, that's how you
react to.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
High tense situations.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Then, you know, then I had to teach myself, which
they didn't teach me this part because they themselves, as
you know, our parents swallow the trauma, right, they don't
deal with it, they don't talk about it whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Then I had to teach myself later to like how
do I let it go? You know? How do I
process it?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yea?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
How do you how do you grab that energy that
you not suppressed but you process differently?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
And like what did it turn into for you later?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
And you know, and it's not a very weird mathematical
scientific equestion and it's just more of like, am I
okay with what happened?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
M hm?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Check with yourself? You feel good? Okay? Cool?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Onto original programming, you know, but I think that's kind
of where it came from.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And there's also you know, that saying I don't remember
what the person said, I ali remember how they made
me feel. You've heard that saying. I always feel like
with kids, you know, at that age, they only they
only absorb how you make them feel, right, And so
like to your point, like, if there is tension in
the house, if there is arguing, is there you know,
(10:28):
they don't know what the argument is about, right, They're
only aware of how you're making them feel in that moment.
And so by you approaching it and being calm and
you know everything you just said, it's controlling how you're
making her feel at the stage because.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
There are a moment for you that when you were
growing up that also made you oh, this is how
I handle this is how I deal with this, or
like this is something you have to relearn to do
later when you realize maybe it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Yeah, yeah, I made a conscious decision. You know, I
grew up around gangs and drugs and all that stuff
my whole life, and I sort of I made a
real conscious decision that when the kids were coming up,
I wasn't gonna put them in that environment, you know.
I you know, as much as people made fun of
me at the time, they're like, oh, you're moving to
the suburbs. I'm like, I don't care. I don't want
(11:17):
to surround them around that. And sometimes what happens when
you grow up in that environment, and especially when you
have kids when you're younger, people are like, oh, you know,
you're you're not raising your kids with any street smarts.
But I didn't care about that. I just cared about
not surrounding them with the trauma that I underwent that
(11:38):
I saw, and how gangs and drugs and all that
stuff that I was surrounded with, how it made me feel.
Right as we talk about feel, you know, and you
talk about suppressing trauma, it was a lot of trauma
that myself and my brothers underwent growing up in that
type of environment that we found that we had to
(11:59):
kind of suppress and deal with it when we got older,
you know, because when you grow up in that kind
of environment, you're just trying to survive, so you're suppressing that,
you know. So anyway, I just think that that that
applies to everything, you know, whether it's whether it's Nakano
at home and you're choosing not to argue in front
of her and stuff. You know, like at the end
of the day, when you're young, you're only absorbing how
(12:20):
people and environments are making you feel you know.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Also, the biggest one I think to me is how
you treat others. Right, it's you know.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
You you you could be flowing how you used to
flow with everyone in the but somebody else is now watching,
and you don't teach them how to handle their feelings
or you don't teach them how to communicate with the world.
They watch you do it and then they repeat it
a right and so, and you said that to me,
(12:48):
you know, you said, they're always watching. That's always watching, man,
They're always watching. They're always paying attention to everything you're doing.
And I've noticed that with the kind of since you
and I talked about that, she noticed her. And see
the way she walks into a room. She comes to
visit me on set, and she's saying hi to everyone,
shaking anyone's hands. She gives hugs when they when they're due,
(13:09):
and you know, and like she shows up and she's
not She doesn't fear strangers, right, but she you know,
she knows that when Daddy and Mommy moved, she has
to go too. She doesn't stay with anyone, but she
also understands the importance of like, hi, how are you,
I'm the condo, and it's like, and you.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Think that that's from watching you do that, because I
come in, I'm.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Like hello, And like the thing about that is that
is that, you know, you set a tone for how
you want that moment to be for you. Yeah, and
she has control over that. And I noticed that, you know,
and I love you know, we both like, we both
love people.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
We walk into a room, we.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Like, well, we're going to have a conversation with anyone
who wants to have a conversation, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Yeah, And she's kind of developing that.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
She comes to work, she goes to a restaurant, the
way she talks to waiters and whatever.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
She's like very open.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
She's like enjoying this and bringing people into her own experience,
which I think is really healthy.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Yeah, that's really interesting. You know, even even to this day,
you know, my kids are older and they still like,
every once in a while we'll say something and I'm like,
how do you know that. They're like, oh, because I
was watching you, Dad. I saw you did this, or
I saw you say this, or I saw them. I'm like,
damn it.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Even when you get older, you were watching.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
They were always always watching always watching. Yeah, you were
talking about wiping butt and diapers and all that. And
I text this to you when the day you had
your child, and you and I were texting back and forth,
(14:45):
and I said to you, wait until your kids turn
twenty one, for example, and you get to have a
beer with them. Oh, and you get to look them
in the eye and you get to say, I used
to wipe your butt.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I used to wipe your butt.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I say that to my kids all the time. I
used to wipe your but all right, dad, Yeah, it's crazy,
but it's wild when you look at your kids at
that age and they're older and you're like, wow, like
you're a grown man. But I used to wipe here.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I can't even I mean, my my daughter is four
years old, and I you know, I look forward to,
uh you know, to yeah, to like having a you know,
have a little glass of champagne with my daughter a
New Year's Eve, yeah know, or like going on vacation,
having pinacolidas together, like you know, like that kind of
silly stuff, like you're celebrating life with your kids.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It's a it's a different feeling, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And how do you think she's going to handle it
was she receptive to love them.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Yeah, oh, my baby, my baby is I want to
meet I want you to meet my baby.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I want you to meet my baby.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
She calls him my baby.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Not Somebody gave me a word of advice that I
thought was super important and said, someone said, make sure
that she knows that this is also happening to her.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
So when you have an only child and then you
have a second child come in, Yeah, you know, they
could be that first impression. How you prep your first
child for the arrival of the second is absolutely everything.
And I realized that the more and more I thought
about it while he was in the belly, the more
it was reinforsing to Nakano that this is happening for
(16:17):
all of us, for the family, This is for you.
This is going to be your baby too, you know.
So she took a level of ownership. So she was
asking when is the baby coming? When is the baby coming?
So when the baby came, she already wanted to hold them.
She wanted to put a different outfit on. She's like,
I want to hold them, you know, And it's so it's.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
A really cool thing. And it really did.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Make a difference in her because right now she has
a level of ownership. When she comes home from her
little school or camp, her daily camp over here, she
runs saying, she's like, I gotta go, I gotta go
kiss my baby. And then she like rolls into his room,
cases him, says Hi, tells him one or two things
about school, and then gets out about her day or
(17:00):
like she's going to go to bed, she's like she
has to kiss him good night because that's her baby,
you know.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
So that's been really cool.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Do you think there's like a maternal instinct that's kicking in.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
At this because it was the other way around?
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, a pillow in somebody's face, No, no, no, but yeah,
so I think Nikano has really taken ownership of that
and really has appreciated, you know, what he means. Like
to her, she's like wanted to share her toys until
he reaches out for it.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Right Like, we'll see why when.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
That happens, you know, But for now, she's taken ownership
and she loves it.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Did your parents ever tell you how it was? Because
you're the oldest, right, did your parents ever like tell
you stories about how it was when your sisters came
home and then you know what you're reaction.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
I mean I was like, you know, this is a transformer,
you know. Yeah, like especially Stephanie. So I was a
little older with Stephanie, but but with Maryland, we were
one year apart, so it was kind of like, you know,
it wasn't as.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Bad, right, yeah, you're apart, but I just was like it.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
You know, I was a tiny earthquake, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
So my mom has been very open about saying that
she really wanted to send me back but.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I really couldn't.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
But uh yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
But but then as time went along, you know, I
put my efforts into soccer, you know, the things or whatever,
and I had all the outlets, you know, so I
became a lot more manageable. But my mom was like, man,
I hated on a restaurant with you.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
It's like really really bad.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Oh we would you act up at on the table,
the table underneath the table.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
You know, It's like you were that guy. I was
that dude.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Yeah, screaming at a restaurant. Yeah, screaming on an airplane
like that, I think.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yeah, she did say in an airplane, I couldn't just
sit still, Yeah, I didn't jumping.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I had to be running around or whatever. So shout
out to all the parents.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah who put you know, who put up with all
of that stuff early in your years. And and don't
feel shy to tell your sons and daughters. You know,
this is how you used to be, right, you.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Know, I do it, I do it. We we we
we we shared that with them. How they were My
boys were so but they were they were cool man,
you know, and thank god they were. They were pretty
well behaved for the most part. I was such a
young dad. I'm like, I don't know how I would
have taken having sort of a hurricane in the house.
My youngest was a little more of like a hurricane.
(19:30):
But for the most part, it was good. And they
were partners in crime, you know, so they had each other.
So now you've given the kind of a partner in
crime and they're only what.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Four years apart? Yeah that's what changed.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not bad. How far are you
and your youngest sister, younger think eight years? Eight years?
Oh wow, are you really eight years older? I didn't
realize that. Yeah, and you and you and Stephanie are
only a year apart.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
I mean, Maryland, when you're a party eight years apart,
and so she was the ay always right.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, she came so late in the game.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I never realized that that she was that much younger
than you.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
But she's phenomenal. She's like, it's such a grade.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Yeah, she's hilarious's dry, sarcastic, a little grumpy, but she's awesome.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And how are your parents reacting to the new addition
to the family.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
I mean, it's true, but they say, like, your parents
are gonna love your children more than they love you, right, I.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Mean you see that already.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Oh yeah, it's like whatever they want, they get, you know,
but you know, we all know that we are going
to eventually inherit the job, you know, a good cup
back cup, Like, who's that good back up in your house?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I'm the good cop, yeah, Elsie. Elsie's the bad cop.
She was, you know, like I said, you know, it's
one of the downfalls of having kids. You're so young,
you know, Like I was like a teenager, so I
was still a kid myself, you know, uh, but but
but I was I was firm. I was firm, but
she was she was definitely a little more firm than
(21:05):
than I.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Feel like you were subliminately defaulting into what your parents did.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
For you and with you.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I think so, right, because.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I'm like, I'm using the same terminologies and I look
myself in the middle.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, because what other example do you have, right, unless
you're like reading parenting books. You know, I didn't read
any parenting books. I was just like, you know, my
parents were old school, and I think they did a
pretty good job. So I just reverted to like what
they did, you know. Minus you know, and both of
our parents are from different well you know, my'm from
(21:45):
Puerto Rico, but different sort of countries per se, right,
And I think that's sometimes the parenting style or it's
a little different from over there.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
You know, you got the chunk lit that right?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You can literally did you see it? In my eyes?
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I believe in that because the image of the chuklit alone, yeah,
inspires discipline. You don't even have to use chunk unlikely
way from your foot to from your feet to your hands, right, Like,
you don't have to engage that just the symbol of
the chunk clit.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
That's like, I don't know what that feels like.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
And that's what I don't want to know what it feels.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
And I don't want to find out that's what my
dad did to me. Oh yeah, my dad.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
My dad used like right, he used the belt, and
I didn't know what I was going to feel like,
and because I didn't know what it felt like, I
would just drop it whatever I was doing.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
So so it never it never got there, and that never.
There was one time that my dad used.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Shoelace. The shoelace, yeah, he dunked it in water.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
He told me to put my hand on the front
and hit the top of my hand, not the palm,
just over the head, you know, like over the hand,
and he just like whipped it one time.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Why are your hand? Were you stealing?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
No, my hand?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Because my mom was trying to reprimand me, and I
kind of stood up with my mom and it looked
like I was gonna, you know, raise my hand. Yeah
I didn't technically raise my hand, but like it looked
like I was standing up to my mom, and my Mom's.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Like, oh, okay, that's what we're gonna do now. She
called my dad. My dad drove home from work.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
He drove home from work, and he my mom intersected
him at the front yard, and all I'm hearing's like
she's like, I'm just seeing their mouths move.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yeah, I can't hear it.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
But there was a clear shot from my bedroom across
the living room and into the front and out the
front door into the front yard where I could see
my parents from my room talking outside.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And then just like a movie.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
My dad turns beams his eyes across the entire interior
of the house and into my bedroom run yard.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Like the clin Eastwoods, slow mo, like yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
And then he makes that content he goes, oh okay, yeah,
he walks in airthing snow motion, earthing's terrifying, and all
of a sudden, it's like me, me in the backyard,
and I go, this is how I die. I go
to the backyard. And the reason why I wanted to
go in the backyard because we used to have those
old the old tankers and the washing boards. You know,
(24:24):
my wife used to wash everything by hand. Oh right,
we didn't have washing and dryers, right, so my mom,
my mom would grab the clothes and wash it. You know,
she would board with the thing. But back then she
would just use the same clothes to to wear because
we didn't have the That was the fancy version I had,
like the ri. It was just like simple tank withdrained
(24:48):
and then the tank on the side with all the water,
so she you know, half a coconut boom water water
and then rains brains and then hang. My dad took
me over there to that place, grab this key chain
that had like one of those shoelaces that went like
spira spir spirer spiral and they had like a little slack.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
At the end. He dipped it in the tank, put
me to hand my hand out and then.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
One time and you know that like scream that it's
like a dog whistle, you know, somebody hits you at
the top of your head and you're just your your
know and your body is screaming.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
But now the sound is not coming out. Oh oh
that's what I was experiencing.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Ah what.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
Yeah, like your face is making the face the voice
is coming out, but voices not coming out. And they slowly,
a tiny little voice starts like bleeding through your vocals, you.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Know, all of a sudden it's like a full un scream.
That's how painful that was.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Oh, I never I never heard of that. I've never
heard of the shoelace, A wet wet shoelace on the knuckles.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
You've never heard the heavier.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
No, I get why, but I've just never heard that's
that's very creative. I wonder if that.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Was passed down like this, well, I mean it's.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Either that or like you know, power cable or or
like they just rip down one of the wires that
you hang your clothes on or yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Or like one of those two.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
But but you know, I will say, like it only
took that one time and I never again.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
And the idea is that, like they just have to
understand there's consequences to their actions.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
And I think that's important.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
And that's one thing I feel like the Latino community has,
you know, they all explained to you three times what's
kind of happened?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yeah, right, Like it doesn't just come out of nowhere.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
You know, you get strike one, strike two, strike three,
and then and then when the chant.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Gets right right or the belt?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Was that was that a conscious like decision in terms
of the parenting style or Amanda, when you know, I
think it was.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Like what you and I were talking about, all of
a sudden, it just woke up in you like sign
it uploaded from the parents.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
It was and she was with it like that same.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Well, you know, look we yeah, so we've had the
conversation like where are we at with this?
Speaker 2 (27:09):
What happens when this happens?
Speaker 3 (27:12):
And you know, we're both like, I guess we're going
to find out when it does, you know. So we
didn't really have a plan for it, but we had
a philosophy that you know, you have to reason first.
Somebody has to understand that, you know, and just taking
the TV away it's not enough, like they have to
(27:33):
truly understand what would just happened, you know, and you know,
at this early age it's very primitive, it's very small,
very emotional for them.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
It's just they can't control the emotions.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
They don't know the measurements. And you got to meet
them where they're at so you can really communicate. That's
what I think. But how did it happen for you?
Speaker 2 (27:59):
We?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
You know, Elsie and I we come from very very
similar backgrounds. You know, we grew up a couple of
blocks from each other. So the parenting style just fit
right in because it was basically the same. Our parents
disciplined us the same and so we you know, we
had discussions about what we liked about it, what we didn't,
(28:22):
and you just kind of learn as you go along. Man.
You know, it's going to be trial and error. There's
gonna be mistakes, there's going to be stuff that works,
stuff that doesn't, and then eventually you just sort of
figured out.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
You know.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I think that sometimes growing up old school, I think
that the disciplinary aspect of it is sometimes the scale
is unbalanced, right, it's tipped a little more to the
disciplinary aspect, you know, and I feel like that's no
good because then I feel like the kids rebel against you.
Right then there's a form of resentment that settles in.
(28:56):
But then if the scale is tipped the other way,
and it's like just just too much love and no discipline,
and then sometimes kids tend to walk all over you.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
So, so I think that there's we decided really early
on that there was going to be a healthy balance
between the two and you never needed to, you said,
because obviously your kids felt like they were kind of
in line with the energy. You're, yeah, yeah, the energy.
That's a really good description of it. You know, we
set a tone, we set an energy, and you know,
kids aren't perfect, right, but but but for the most part,
(29:26):
they got it, you know, and I felt like we
implemented enough of that healthy balance that that it motivated
them to fall in line.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
No, No, we we feel the I feel like we
have a very similar situation that kind of has really
taken to that frequency. You know, there's no fire drills
in this house, you know. So yeah, that's one thing.
I really will say that. It's like, it's beautiful to
see that n I kinda has just really comprehended. And
I will say it's probably the gift of being a girl.
(29:57):
She has developed so quickly. She's so smart. Yeah, she's
so intuitive, and she like, for example, like I'll tell
you this, tells you everything.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
She's four years old. She comes up to me, she goes.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Daddy can have some of this candy, but after I
have my food, because otherwise I'm gonna have a Tommy ache.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
She she knew you were going to say.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
What your response was, That's okay, honey, that's a really
good idea.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
OK, just do that. Absolutely you can have that. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I mean so like the fact that she has the
sophistication to be like, I'm gonna predict what you're gonna say.
I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna do it anyways, but
I'm gonna but I want to have this.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
It's like where does she get that for three years old? Yeah? Right,
Like where do you get that foresight? Like you're so
aware of.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I think reputation?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Right's like you say it a few times and you're like, you, honey,
you can have that, but you have to have some
food because if you have that on an empty stomach,
your your tommy can get upset. Yeah, and you said
that in a few times that she's immediately like, I
don't want to get a tummy ache. And you know,
she doesn't have a sweet tooth, but she wants candy,
but she'll have like the one bite and then she
doesn't finish it. She wants ice cream, but she'll have
(31:01):
like the one two scoops. So I think like for her,
it's that kind of the ceremonial thing or having something
that kind of like makes her happy, you know. And
I think it's very cool that she like practice up
and she doesn't excessively do it.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
So how do you how do you feel about And
this is where we differ. You know, my kids are older, right,
so like I was bringing them up before the sort
of the social media and the invention of social media, right, Like,
how do you feel now having a four year old
and a newborn. It's just so different, Like people ask me,
how would you have been raising your kids? I don't know.
(31:34):
I don't know how I would have been, right, because
it's like social media is such an integral part of
even their social circles, right, and and them being young
and being kids and being teenagers, and so how do
you how do you how do you strike a balance
with that or how do you I mean, obviously you
must not be dealing with that yet, not yet, but.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
We are constantly talking about it because you know, she
has other friends already have like.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Little reass wow at that a tablet.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
In their hands, right, you know, but where they're watching
like cartoons.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
And still like there's people.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
In her life right now that are like, you know,
i'd like, you know, they come in to hang out
with her and they go to a corner and they're
just watching, watching the table the entire time for like
eight hours, so you know, and I get the preference, right,
Like some parents are okay with that, parents are monitoring
(32:31):
w they're watching, and that's fine too, but I'm gonna
delay that as much as possible. She watching a movie
is a decompression reward, not like not like you ate
your food, now you get to watch a movie.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
But we don't do that.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
So it's kind of like, you know, we're gonna eat
our food, get ready for bed, and then we'll see
how if it's late or early, and then if it's
if it's too late, we're gonna go to sleepy time.
And if it's early enough, then we can watch a
few minutes and more. Oftentimes it's too late, right, it's
like closer to eight, and you're like, well, we got
to go down.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
And so she understands that.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
She understands that, you know, maybe she got distracted and
kind of burned some of the time before she got
ready to go to sleep, and so I remind her, so, honey,
you were running around a lot, you were playing a
lot with your other toys, and therefore, now we don't
have enough time to watch the you know, a little
bit of the movie. She's like, okay, Daddy, you're right,
and then, you know, so she's a very conscience of that.
(33:30):
But it is a struggle because I know that it's
coming right. I know if there is a tidal wave
of not wanting to miss out on what's happening in
the world, especially when your friends are talking about it
all the time.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
You don't want to be the odd but becomes part
of the social fabric of her.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
So I think to me, I'm going to try my
best to delay the arrival of that as possible and
as late as possible. And you know, she still likes
she still loves reading books. She's four and a half.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
She likes reading a book before you goes to sleep.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
I like telling her stories about this young princess named
Na Kinda that lived in a mountain and how to
you know, had a friend unicorn who could fly, and
she went down to the village and save the town.
And she was the smartest and brightest and you know,
most powerful, you know, young princess of the land, and like,
(34:21):
you know, and like, so I would tell these stories
and she's like thinking about it and like and then
she fought a dragon and she overcame that and saved
the people.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I call. So I can tell all these fantastic stories
and she loves.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
So you're regulating sort of the TV time, movie time
with books.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Like it's okay to listen to a story and it's
okay to read a book. So I think she does
it right now. She's not like I want to watch
the TV I wanted to be.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I want to be.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
She wants to play. She wants to connect with people.
Like if I'm in the office, she wants to go
play with, you know, with Leo, you know, our producer.
She wants to play with Lauren, our executive assistant. Like
she you know, she wants to connect with people right now,
and so we're trying to really.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Expose her to as much all that's possible. But but
to your.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Point, like who knows when when all her friends are
like did you see this and she's like, you know.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Yeah, or the or the images of when she gets older, right,
the images of of what her peer group is saying
she should and even when he gets.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
When she gets her cell phone, freddie, Yeah, I'm going
to tell her always rather talk on the phone then
text somebody.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, Like you.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Got to keep that alive, your ability to communicate with
another human, receiving the energy, feeling each other's moods, Like,
you know, if you want to use the phone, call somebody,
don't just text them. I'm going to try to see
how long she can go with continue to communicate with people,
because that's how you develop your ability to conversate and
(35:48):
have real life conversations with people that are not hidden
behind a text chain.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yeah, it's funny you say that. I was talking to
a kid, will Say and he was like, yeah, I'm
hanging out with my friends this weekend. And I was like, oh,
that's cool. Are they coming over your house or are
you going there? He goes, no, we don't go over
each other's houses. We're going to hang out online. And
it blew my mind.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I was like, that's how.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
You hang out.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yeah, what's fun in that?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
You know, Yeah, that's how And he was looking at
me like I was crazy, you know, like yeah, that's
how we do it now, you know. It blew my
mind that that that the kids, you know, I'm sure
not all kids in this generation, but a lot of
them sort of lock that sort of like social interaction
and then much rather do it in like chat rooms,
and you know it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah, it is crazy.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Well, I mean, we wish all the parents at home,
you know, all the serenity or the peace, all the happiness,
you know, and we're definitely trying to call through it it.
We don't have all the answers here, but we're trying
to figure it out as we go.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
And thank you to everyone who related to the chunk
and look it up.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
And for those of you who don't know what it is,
look up chunk lit.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Yeah, it's a mystical artifact from our ancient years, mystic
rtifest you know, I think it was.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
It dates back to the Aztecs. Actually, yeah, that's where
the Chacolta was born.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, but they where they perfected the throwing style.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
If you like those amigos, share with a friend, tell
him where to watch film, tell him where to listen
to And this episode was helpful.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
I love you guys, Thank you. This is Wilmer.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, and you watched and listened to those Amigos.
See you next time.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Those Amigos is a production from w V Sound and
iHeartMedia's Michael through That Podcast Network, hosted by Me, Freddie
Rodriguez and Wilmer of Aaldorama.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burleson and Sophie Spencers Abos.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Our executive producers are Wilmer Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson,
and Leo Klem at w V sound.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
This episode was shot and ended it by Ryan Posts
and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by
Madison Devin and Halo boy.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Our cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed
by Deny.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Holtzklau and thank you for being here third Amigo today.
I appreciate you guys always listening to those amos.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the ir Heart
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
See you next week.
Wilmer has that I've been up for a couple of days.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Look, yeah, set about.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Why do you look like that?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
You know?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I decided, uh yeah, that in order for me to
lose as much sleep as I possibly can.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yeah, as you have a second child. Ah yeah, that'll
do it.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I thought, I tell her, we'll do it. I said,
let me try it.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
A lot of my friends have tried this, like, I
don't want to sleep anymore.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Because you don't have enough going on.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
No, And I just talked to myself like, besides all
the things that are happening and going on, like, how
can I put the icing on my sanity?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Right? Welcome everyone, This is Warmer Valderama.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
This is Freddie Rodrick.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
This is Do Amigos podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Thank you all for listening, and thank you all for
tuning in and downloading and watching it on YouTube and
all that. Thank you also to all of our guests.
We've had some really great guests and we have a
couple of episodes. I hope people enjoyed the wisdom some
of them have brought to this space of serenity. And
we are smoking a cigar and I know what's up.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You have to be can well see that back there.
Wimer has this great humid door.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
We gotta just finish, you know, we'll have the cigar episode.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I remember a couple of months ago you brought out
a cigar and you were like you were talking the
cigar up and you were you were telling me how fancy.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
It was made.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
But then you put it back in the in the humidor.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I want to because I just felt like, Okay, you know,
I just came back from occasion.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I had a couple of cigars. I didn't have to
have that there.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
But we have to figure out because we got to
have the cigar my wife had, My lady had our
second time, Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Me, congratulations, Thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
She is an absolute hero. She did incredible and I
mean odd of what women do. Were you there, Yes,
this is my second time. I'm witnessing my lady bring
miracles to that.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Just yes, I mean were you there when?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Yeah, it's unbelievable. You know, like it's impossible to not
be like, can I rub.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Your feet today? You know, because you don't have to
push a baby out. It's like we need to do
more for them, right, But it was really beautiful shout
out to everybody.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
A theater Sinaide, joining a great house friend over there
who really helped us with everything. But you know, Cedars
are really taking care of us two children now there,
They're just unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
She was born there too.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Oh yeah, yeah, and he was born on seven eleven,
which a lot of people call me immediately like wow,
how cool, free slur piece.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
As if you planned it that way.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, and we know that he was supposed to be
born on the twenty fifth.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
It was a do date, and he came on the eleventh,
which was great because I was going back to work
on the sixteen, so he gave me a couple of
days just to be home before I had to get
clocked back into t n c I S.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
But where the name? Where'd the name come from?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
So?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Well, so, for like so many years, the wolf has
been my spirit animal. I just love the wolf mentality,
the pac mentality, examily mentality. I love the way they
organize for survival and all that stuff, and and and
how they ride for each other, you know, and and
so I always kept with that my friends, and you know,
like we're all kind of been subliminately the wolf pack,
(03:29):
you know. So Amanda surprised me with that. She's like, hey,
I really like Wolf, and I was like, yeah, I
didn't want to say like, I love it too, so
it'd be like it's your idea, Yes, it's your idea.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
And I was like, yeah, that sounds so great.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Well you named this one, you know, because I obviously
got away with mine with Nicando, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
But but we both agreed Wolf was a cool spirit,
you know.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
And then his name, his middle name is Monte, and
Monte and kind of an Italian means mountains. So we thought,
you know, she's the ocean. Her middle name is Oshiana,
so we thought she's the tranquility in the balance of
the ocean, and he's the you.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Know, the she's the ocean too, you know, to his mountain.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Yeah, so it's been it's been kind of cool to
see if we're no longer here with them, Yeah, that
they know they can have each other and coexistence. So
they became a little bit more profound than than just
to name. But so he's the Wolf and she's the
honorable Geisha, the female warrior.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
How do you feel about getting ready to wipe butt again?
That's three in the morning.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I'm glad you asked and I'm glad you asked it.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And this is gonna also turn into an advice to
every dad out there, whether it's your first, or your
second or your third.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I cannot stress this enough.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Change the first diaper, and change as many diapers as
you possibly can could it is it is a privilege,
an honor to change your sons or.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Daughter's kulito to wipe that.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
But yeah, like that, that is the most a beautiful
offering of care and nurturing you and your kid. And
I'm gonna tell all dads also that change as many
diapers as you can until they turned one, so then
your wife will never be able to say that they
(05:27):
never change diapers.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Are you guys on shifts?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Are you the are you the three o'clock in the
morning guy? To wipe the diaper, to wipe the butter?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Well, we have to change his diaper every time he feeds,
because every time he feeds, it gets very festive.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
It gets festive. Yeah, yes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
It's like confetti, Like there's just a confetti little popper
that happens as soon as he tastes that delicious dairy, right.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
And he's not on sid wait wait, wait till he
gets on You remember that, right.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yea, yeah, and that's what I said, potato, So they
have solids, right to be like, hey, change to eat
that print, take it a break.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
And then when it's three in the morning and he
starts to have solids and she's elbowing you together.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, and I gotta take one for the team, you know.
But you know, I actually don't don't really mind it
very much.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
It's it's it's part of it, right, It's like part
of the whole thing. And you just think about this.
One day you're not going to change a diaper and
you'll realize, wow, I kind of that was a moment, right,
and it went and it no longer here. But Nakano
like she's you know, she goes and takes care of
her own business and and like, yeah, and that feels
(06:39):
funny because she's like, I did all by myself, daddy,
and I'm like, but I want to help now.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
It's very funny.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
But but yeah, anyways, is there anything that you learned
from your experience with Ncano that that you're like, I
wish I would have known that with Nacano, But now
that I do know that I'm going to apply it
with Wolf.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
I think, like we practice a certain level of frequency
at the house, you know, like there's no like high tensions.
You know, we don't you know, we don't have discussions
or arguments in front of the kids.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
You know, like there's a level.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
We also have to show a certain level of balance
when we deal with adversity in front of our kids,
you know, so they understand that's also a choice for them.
I think that's the biggest one for me. It's just
to say, hey, you know, take a deep breath first. Yeah,
you know, And that's what we've tried to teaching account
As soon as she's feeling her emotions are hard to control.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Hold on, let's low down, take a deep breath all
the time.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
And now when you have your attention, okay, tell me
what's going on, this and this and this, Okay, cool,
then let's go. You know, let's change your socks and
it doesn't hurt anymore when you wear your little jellies,
you know. Like so it's like stuff like that, that,
like there's simple equations that if you I don't know,
if you offer that, they have the choice to slow
things down a little bit. So they can see the
clear path, maybe it turns into some type of like
(08:04):
how do I see down the road? So I think
that's the one thing I think I really want to
pass down to.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Why did you make that conscious choice with her? You know?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I think I saw when I was really young, I
saw something with my family, my mom and my dad
that should have been a more frantic reaction. There was
something that happened, you know, and it was like really
really impactful.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Right. It's like we were at some you know, we
were at you know, at a soccer.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Field, you know, and you know, some guys came up
and confronted a guy and it like escalated very quickly,
and my dad, without missing it, beat, he's like, your soccer,
grab your things, whatever we're getting in the car, gets
in the car, and then we left. But other people
were like running and this and whatever, you know. And
(08:54):
it was the way that my dad and my mom
reacted to this high moment of intensity that told me, oh,
had a choice to kind of slow things down a
little bit. Take it the breath one two through what
are the steps?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Pace one?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Face two, phase three And and I've carried us since
I was a little since a little boy, you know,
I haven't reacted with emotions first, you know, I kind
of just like listen first, and I think that's what.
Then he listened to his environment, he did what he
had to do to get us out of there, and
then it made me feel like, oh, that's how you
react to.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
High tense situations.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Then, you know, then I had to teach myself, which
they didn't teach me this part because they themselves, as
you know, our parents swallow the trauma, right, they don't
deal with it, they don't talk about it whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Then I had to teach myself later to like how
do I let it go? You know? How do I
process it?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yea?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
How do you how do you grab that energy that
you not suppressed but you process differently?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
And like what did it turn into for you later?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
And you know, and it's not a very weird mathematical
scientific equestion and it's just more of like, am I
okay with what happened?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
M hm?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Check with yourself? You feel good? Okay? Cool?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Onto original programming, you know, but I think that's kind
of where it came from.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And there's also you know, that saying I don't remember
what the person said, I ali remember how they made
me feel. You've heard that saying. I always feel like
with kids, you know, at that age, they only they
only absorb how you make them feel, right, And so
like to your point, like, if there is tension in
the house, if there is arguing, is there you know,
(10:28):
they don't know what the argument is about, right, They're
only aware of how you're making them feel in that moment.
And so by you approaching it and being calm and
you know everything you just said, it's controlling how you're
making her feel at the stage because.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
There are a moment for you that when you were
growing up that also made you oh, this is how
I handle this is how I deal with this, or
like this is something you have to relearn to do
later when you realize maybe it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Yeah, yeah, I made a conscious decision. You know, I
grew up around gangs and drugs and all that stuff
my whole life, and I sort of I made a
real conscious decision that when the kids were coming up,
I wasn't gonna put them in that environment, you know.
I you know, as much as people made fun of
me at the time, they're like, oh, you're moving to
the suburbs. I'm like, I don't care. I don't want
(11:17):
to surround them around that. And sometimes what happens when
you grow up in that environment, and especially when you
have kids when you're younger, people are like, oh, you know,
you're you're not raising your kids with any street smarts.
But I didn't care about that. I just cared about
not surrounding them with the trauma that I underwent that
(11:38):
I saw, and how gangs and drugs and all that
stuff that I was surrounded with, how it made me feel.
Right as we talk about feel, you know, and you
talk about suppressing trauma, it was a lot of trauma
that myself and my brothers underwent growing up in that
type of environment that we found that we had to
(11:59):
kind of suppress and deal with it when we got older,
you know, because when you grow up in that kind
of environment, you're just trying to survive, so you're suppressing that,
you know. So anyway, I just think that that that
applies to everything, you know, whether it's whether it's Nakano
at home and you're choosing not to argue in front
of her and stuff. You know, like at the end
of the day, when you're young, you're only absorbing how
(12:20):
people and environments are making you feel you know.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Also, the biggest one I think to me is how
you treat others. Right, it's you know.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
You you you could be flowing how you used to
flow with everyone in the but somebody else is now watching,
and you don't teach them how to handle their feelings
or you don't teach them how to communicate with the world.
They watch you do it and then they repeat it
a right and so, and you said that to me,
(12:48):
you know, you said, they're always watching. That's always watching, man,
They're always watching. They're always paying attention to everything you're doing.
And I've noticed that with the kind of since you
and I talked about that, she noticed her. And see
the way she walks into a room. She comes to
visit me on set, and she's saying hi to everyone,
shaking anyone's hands. She gives hugs when they when they're due,
(13:09):
and you know, and like she shows up and she's
not She doesn't fear strangers, right, but she you know,
she knows that when Daddy and Mommy moved, she has
to go too. She doesn't stay with anyone, but she
also understands the importance of like, hi, how are you,
I'm the condo, and it's like, and you.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Think that that's from watching you do that, because I
come in, I'm.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Like hello, And like the thing about that is that
is that, you know, you set a tone for how
you want that moment to be for you. Yeah, and
she has control over that. And I noticed that, you know,
and I love you know, we both like, we both
love people.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
We walk into a room, we.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Like, well, we're going to have a conversation with anyone
who wants to have a conversation, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Yeah, And she's kind of developing that.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
She comes to work, she goes to a restaurant, the
way she talks to waiters and whatever.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
She's like very open.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
She's like enjoying this and bringing people into her own experience,
which I think is really healthy.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Yeah, that's really interesting. You know, even even to this day,
you know, my kids are older and they still like,
every once in a while we'll say something and I'm like,
how do you know that. They're like, oh, because I
was watching you, Dad. I saw you did this, or
I saw you say this, or I saw them. I'm like,
damn it.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Even when you get older, you were watching.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
They were always always watching always watching. Yeah, you were
talking about wiping butt and diapers and all that. And
I text this to you when the day you had
your child, and you and I were texting back and forth,
(14:45):
and I said to you, wait until your kids turn
twenty one, for example, and you get to have a
beer with them. Oh, and you get to look them
in the eye and you get to say, I used
to wipe your butt.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I used to wipe your butt.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I say that to my kids all the time. I
used to wipe your but all right, dad, Yeah, it's crazy,
but it's wild when you look at your kids at
that age and they're older and you're like, wow, like
you're a grown man. But I used to wipe here.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I can't even I mean, my my daughter is four
years old, and I you know, I look forward to,
uh you know, to yeah, to like having a you know,
have a little glass of champagne with my daughter a
New Year's Eve, yeah know, or like going on vacation,
having pinacolidas together, like you know, like that kind of
silly stuff, like you're celebrating life with your kids.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It's a it's a different feeling, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And how do you think she's going to handle it
was she receptive to love them.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Yeah, oh, my baby, my baby is I want to
meet I want you to meet my baby.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I want you to meet my baby.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
She calls him my baby.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Not Somebody gave me a word of advice that I
thought was super important and said, someone said, make sure
that she knows that this is also happening to her.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
So when you have an only child and then you
have a second child come in, Yeah, you know, they
could be that first impression. How you prep your first
child for the arrival of the second is absolutely everything.
And I realized that the more and more I thought
about it while he was in the belly, the more
it was reinforsing to Nakano that this is happening for
(16:17):
all of us, for the family, This is for you.
This is going to be your baby too, you know.
So she took a level of ownership. So she was
asking when is the baby coming? When is the baby coming?
So when the baby came, she already wanted to hold them.
She wanted to put a different outfit on. She's like,
I want to hold them, you know, And it's so it's.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
A really cool thing. And it really did.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Make a difference in her because right now she has
a level of ownership. When she comes home from her
little school or camp, her daily camp over here, she
runs saying, she's like, I gotta go, I gotta go
kiss my baby. And then she like rolls into his room,
cases him, says Hi, tells him one or two things
about school, and then gets out about her day or
(17:00):
like she's going to go to bed, she's like she
has to kiss him good night because that's her baby,
you know.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
So that's been really cool.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Do you think there's like a maternal instinct that's kicking in.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
At this because it was the other way around?
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, a pillow in somebody's face, No, no, no, but yeah,
so I think Nikano has really taken ownership of that
and really has appreciated, you know, what he means. Like
to her, she's like wanted to share her toys until
he reaches out for it.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Right Like, we'll see why when.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
That happens, you know, But for now, she's taken ownership
and she loves it.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Did your parents ever tell you how it was? Because
you're the oldest, right, did your parents ever like tell
you stories about how it was when your sisters came
home and then you know what you're reaction.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
I mean I was like, you know, this is a transformer,
you know. Yeah, like especially Stephanie. So I was a
little older with Stephanie, but but with Maryland, we were
one year apart, so it was kind of like, you know,
it wasn't as.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Bad, right, yeah, you're apart, but I just was like it.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
You know, I was a tiny earthquake, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
So my mom has been very open about saying that
she really wanted to send me back but.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I really couldn't.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
But uh yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
But but then as time went along, you know, I
put my efforts into soccer, you know, the things or whatever,
and I had all the outlets, you know, so I
became a lot more manageable. But my mom was like, man,
I hated on a restaurant with you.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
It's like really really bad.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Oh we would you act up at on the table,
the table underneath the table.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
You know, It's like you were that guy. I was
that dude.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Yeah, screaming at a restaurant. Yeah, screaming on an airplane
like that, I think.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yeah, she did say in an airplane, I couldn't just
sit still, Yeah, I didn't jumping.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I had to be running around or whatever. So shout
out to all the parents.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah who put you know, who put up with all
of that stuff early in your years. And and don't
feel shy to tell your sons and daughters. You know,
this is how you used to be, right, you.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Know, I do it, I do it. We we we
we we shared that with them. How they were My
boys were so but they were they were cool man,
you know, and thank god they were. They were pretty
well behaved for the most part. I was such a
young dad. I'm like, I don't know how I would
have taken having sort of a hurricane in the house.
My youngest was a little more of like a hurricane.
(19:30):
But for the most part, it was good. And they
were partners in crime, you know, so they had each other.
So now you've given the kind of a partner in
crime and they're only what.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Four years apart? Yeah that's what changed.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not bad. How far are you
and your youngest sister, younger think eight years? Eight years?
Oh wow, are you really eight years older? I didn't
realize that. Yeah, and you and you and Stephanie are
only a year apart.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
I mean, Maryland, when you're a party eight years apart,
and so she was the ay always right.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, she came so late in the game.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I never realized that that she was that much younger
than you.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
But she's phenomenal. She's like, it's such a grade.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Yeah, she's hilarious's dry, sarcastic, a little grumpy, but she's awesome.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And how are your parents reacting to the new addition
to the family.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
I mean, it's true, but they say, like, your parents
are gonna love your children more than they love you, right, I.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Mean you see that already.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Oh yeah, it's like whatever they want, they get, you know,
but you know, we all know that we are going
to eventually inherit the job, you know, a good cup
back cup, Like, who's that good back up in your house?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I'm the good cop, yeah, Elsie. Elsie's the bad cop.
She was, you know, like I said, you know, it's
one of the downfalls of having kids. You're so young,
you know, Like I was like a teenager, so I
was still a kid myself, you know, uh, but but
but I was I was firm. I was firm, but
she was she was definitely a little more firm than
(21:05):
than I.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Feel like you were subliminately defaulting into what your parents did.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
For you and with you.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I think so, right, because.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I'm like, I'm using the same terminologies and I look
myself in the middle.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, because what other example do you have, right, unless
you're like reading parenting books. You know, I didn't read
any parenting books. I was just like, you know, my
parents were old school, and I think they did a
pretty good job. So I just reverted to like what
they did, you know. Minus you know, and both of
our parents are from different well you know, my'm from
(21:45):
Puerto Rico, but different sort of countries per se, right,
And I think that's sometimes the parenting style or it's
a little different from over there.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
You know, you got the chunk lit that right?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You can literally did you see it? In my eyes?
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I believe in that because the image of the chuklit alone, yeah,
inspires discipline. You don't even have to use chunk unlikely
way from your foot to from your feet to your hands, right, Like,
you don't have to engage that just the symbol of
the chunk clit.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
That's like, I don't know what that feels like.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
And that's what I don't want to know what it feels.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
And I don't want to find out that's what my
dad did to me. Oh yeah, my dad.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
My dad used like right, he used the belt, and
I didn't know what I was going to feel like,
and because I didn't know what it felt like, I
would just drop it whatever I was doing.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
So so it never it never got there, and that never.
There was one time that my dad used.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Shoelace. The shoelace, yeah, he dunked it in water.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
He told me to put my hand on the front
and hit the top of my hand, not the palm,
just over the head, you know, like over the hand,
and he just like whipped it one time.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Why are your hand? Were you stealing?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
No, my hand?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Because my mom was trying to reprimand me, and I
kind of stood up with my mom and it looked
like I was gonna, you know, raise my hand. Yeah
I didn't technically raise my hand, but like it looked
like I was standing up to my mom, and my Mom's.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Like, oh, okay, that's what we're gonna do now. She
called my dad. My dad drove home from work.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
He drove home from work, and he my mom intersected
him at the front yard, and all I'm hearing's like
she's like, I'm just seeing their mouths move.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yeah, I can't hear it.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
But there was a clear shot from my bedroom across
the living room and into the front and out the
front door into the front yard where I could see
my parents from my room talking outside.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And then just like a movie.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
My dad turns beams his eyes across the entire interior
of the house and into my bedroom run yard.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Like the clin Eastwoods, slow mo, like yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
And then he makes that content he goes, oh okay, yeah,
he walks in airthing snow motion, earthing's terrifying, and all
of a sudden, it's like me, me in the backyard,
and I go, this is how I die. I go
to the backyard. And the reason why I wanted to
go in the backyard because we used to have those
old the old tankers and the washing boards. You know,
(24:24):
my wife used to wash everything by hand. Oh right,
we didn't have washing and dryers, right, so my mom,
my mom would grab the clothes and wash it. You know,
she would board with the thing. But back then she
would just use the same clothes to to wear because
we didn't have the That was the fancy version I had,
like the ri. It was just like simple tank withdrained
(24:48):
and then the tank on the side with all the water,
so she you know, half a coconut boom water water
and then rains brains and then hang. My dad took
me over there to that place, grab this key chain
that had like one of those shoelaces that went like
spira spir spirer spiral and they had like a little slack.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
At the end. He dipped it in the tank, put
me to hand my hand out and then.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
One time and you know that like scream that it's
like a dog whistle, you know, somebody hits you at
the top of your head and you're just your your
know and your body is screaming.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
But now the sound is not coming out. Oh oh
that's what I was experiencing.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Ah what.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
Yeah, like your face is making the face the voice
is coming out, but voices not coming out. And they slowly,
a tiny little voice starts like bleeding through your vocals, you.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Know, all of a sudden it's like a full un scream.
That's how painful that was.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Oh, I never I never heard of that. I've never
heard of the shoelace, A wet wet shoelace on the knuckles.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
You've never heard the heavier.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
No, I get why, but I've just never heard that's
that's very creative. I wonder if that.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Was passed down like this, well, I mean it's.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Either that or like you know, power cable or or
like they just rip down one of the wires that
you hang your clothes on or yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Or like one of those two.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
But but you know, I will say, like it only
took that one time and I never again.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
And the idea is that, like they just have to
understand there's consequences to their actions.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
And I think that's important.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
And that's one thing I feel like the Latino community has,
you know, they all explained to you three times what's
kind of happened?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yeah, right, Like it doesn't just come out of nowhere.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
You know, you get strike one, strike two, strike three,
and then and then when the chant.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Gets right right or the belt?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Was that was that a conscious like decision in terms
of the parenting style or Amanda, when you know, I
think it was.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Like what you and I were talking about, all of
a sudden, it just woke up in you like sign
it uploaded from the parents.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
It was and she was with it like that same.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Well, you know, look we yeah, so we've had the
conversation like where are we at with this?
Speaker 2 (27:09):
What happens when this happens?
Speaker 3 (27:12):
And you know, we're both like, I guess we're going
to find out when it does, you know. So we
didn't really have a plan for it, but we had
a philosophy that you know, you have to reason first.
Somebody has to understand that, you know, and just taking
the TV away it's not enough, like they have to
(27:33):
truly understand what would just happened, you know, and you know,
at this early age it's very primitive, it's very small,
very emotional for them.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
It's just they can't control the emotions.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
They don't know the measurements. And you got to meet
them where they're at so you can really communicate. That's
what I think. But how did it happen for you?
Speaker 2 (27:59):
We?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
You know, Elsie and I we come from very very
similar backgrounds. You know, we grew up a couple of
blocks from each other. So the parenting style just fit
right in because it was basically the same. Our parents
disciplined us the same and so we you know, we
had discussions about what we liked about it, what we didn't,
(28:22):
and you just kind of learn as you go along. Man.
You know, it's going to be trial and error. There's
gonna be mistakes, there's going to be stuff that works,
stuff that doesn't, and then eventually you just sort of
figured out.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
You know.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I think that sometimes growing up old school, I think
that the disciplinary aspect of it is sometimes the scale
is unbalanced, right, it's tipped a little more to the
disciplinary aspect, you know, and I feel like that's no
good because then I feel like the kids rebel against you.
Right then there's a form of resentment that settles in.
(28:56):
But then if the scale is tipped the other way,
and it's like just just too much love and no discipline,
and then sometimes kids tend to walk all over you.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
So, so I think that there's we decided really early
on that there was going to be a healthy balance
between the two and you never needed to, you said,
because obviously your kids felt like they were kind of
in line with the energy. You're, yeah, yeah, the energy.
That's a really good description of it. You know, we
set a tone, we set an energy, and you know,
kids aren't perfect, right, but but but for the most part,
(29:26):
they got it, you know, and I felt like we
implemented enough of that healthy balance that that it motivated
them to fall in line.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
No, No, we we feel the I feel like we
have a very similar situation that kind of has really
taken to that frequency. You know, there's no fire drills
in this house, you know. So yeah, that's one thing.
I really will say that. It's like, it's beautiful to
see that n I kinda has just really comprehended. And
I will say it's probably the gift of being a girl.
(29:57):
She has developed so quickly. She's so smart. Yeah, she's
so intuitive, and she like, for example, like I'll tell
you this, tells you everything.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
She's four years old. She comes up to me, she goes.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Daddy can have some of this candy, but after I
have my food, because otherwise I'm gonna have a Tommy ache.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
She she knew you were going to say.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
What your response was, That's okay, honey, that's a really
good idea.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
OK, just do that. Absolutely you can have that. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I mean so like the fact that she has the
sophistication to be like, I'm gonna predict what you're gonna say.
I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna do it anyways, but
I'm gonna but I want to have this.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
It's like where does she get that for three years old? Yeah? Right,
Like where do you get that foresight? Like you're so
aware of.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I think reputation?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Right's like you say it a few times and you're like, you, honey,
you can have that, but you have to have some
food because if you have that on an empty stomach,
your your tommy can get upset. Yeah, and you said
that in a few times that she's immediately like, I
don't want to get a tummy ache. And you know,
she doesn't have a sweet tooth, but she wants candy,
but she'll have like the one bite and then she
doesn't finish it. She wants ice cream, but she'll have
(31:01):
like the one two scoops. So I think like for her,
it's that kind of the ceremonial thing or having something
that kind of like makes her happy, you know. And
I think it's very cool that she like practice up
and she doesn't excessively do it.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
So how do you how do you feel about And
this is where we differ. You know, my kids are older, right,
so like I was bringing them up before the sort
of the social media and the invention of social media, right, Like,
how do you feel now having a four year old
and a newborn. It's just so different, Like people ask me,
how would you have been raising your kids? I don't know.
(31:34):
I don't know how I would have been, right, because
it's like social media is such an integral part of
even their social circles, right, and and them being young
and being kids and being teenagers, and so how do
you how do you how do you strike a balance
with that or how do you I mean, obviously you
must not be dealing with that yet, not yet, but.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
We are constantly talking about it because you know, she
has other friends already have like.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Little reass wow at that a tablet.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
In their hands, right, you know, but where they're watching
like cartoons.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
And still like there's people.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
In her life right now that are like, you know,
i'd like, you know, they come in to hang out
with her and they go to a corner and they're
just watching, watching the table the entire time for like
eight hours, so you know, and I get the preference, right,
Like some parents are okay with that, parents are monitoring
(32:31):
w they're watching, and that's fine too, but I'm gonna
delay that as much as possible. She watching a movie
is a decompression reward, not like not like you ate
your food, now you get to watch a movie.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
But we don't do that.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
So it's kind of like, you know, we're gonna eat
our food, get ready for bed, and then we'll see
how if it's late or early, and then if it's
if it's too late, we're gonna go to sleepy time.
And if it's early enough, then we can watch a
few minutes and more. Oftentimes it's too late, right, it's
like closer to eight, and you're like, well, we got
to go down.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
And so she understands that.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
She understands that, you know, maybe she got distracted and
kind of burned some of the time before she got
ready to go to sleep, and so I remind her, so, honey,
you were running around a lot, you were playing a
lot with your other toys, and therefore, now we don't
have enough time to watch the you know, a little
bit of the movie. She's like, okay, Daddy, you're right,
and then, you know, so she's a very conscience of that.
(33:30):
But it is a struggle because I know that it's
coming right. I know if there is a tidal wave
of not wanting to miss out on what's happening in
the world, especially when your friends are talking about it
all the time.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
You don't want to be the odd but becomes part
of the social fabric of her.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
So I think to me, I'm going to try my
best to delay the arrival of that as possible and
as late as possible. And you know, she still likes
she still loves reading books. She's four and a half.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
She likes reading a book before you goes to sleep.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
I like telling her stories about this young princess named
Na Kinda that lived in a mountain and how to
you know, had a friend unicorn who could fly, and
she went down to the village and save the town.
And she was the smartest and brightest and you know,
most powerful, you know, young princess of the land, and like,
(34:21):
you know, and like, so I would tell these stories
and she's like thinking about it and like and then
she fought a dragon and she overcame that and saved
the people.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I call. So I can tell all these fantastic stories
and she loves.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
So you're regulating sort of the TV time, movie time
with books.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Like it's okay to listen to a story and it's
okay to read a book. So I think she does
it right now. She's not like I want to watch
the TV I wanted to be.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I want to be.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
She wants to play. She wants to connect with people.
Like if I'm in the office, she wants to go
play with, you know, with Leo, you know, our producer.
She wants to play with Lauren, our executive assistant. Like
she you know, she wants to connect with people right now,
and so we're trying to really.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Expose her to as much all that's possible. But but
to your.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Point, like who knows when when all her friends are
like did you see this and she's like, you know.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Yeah, or the or the images of when she gets older, right,
the images of of what her peer group is saying
she should and even when he gets.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
When she gets her cell phone, freddie, Yeah, I'm going
to tell her always rather talk on the phone then
text somebody.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, Like you.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Got to keep that alive, your ability to communicate with
another human, receiving the energy, feeling each other's moods, Like,
you know, if you want to use the phone, call somebody,
don't just text them. I'm going to try to see
how long she can go with continue to communicate with people,
because that's how you develop your ability to conversate and
(35:48):
have real life conversations with people that are not hidden
behind a text chain.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yeah, it's funny you say that. I was talking to
a kid, will Say and he was like, yeah, I'm
hanging out with my friends this weekend. And I was like, oh,
that's cool. Are they coming over your house or are
you going there? He goes, no, we don't go over
each other's houses. We're going to hang out online. And
it blew my mind.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I was like, that's how.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
You hang out.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yeah, what's fun in that?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
You know, Yeah, that's how And he was looking at
me like I was crazy, you know, like yeah, that's
how we do it now, you know. It blew my
mind that that that the kids, you know, I'm sure
not all kids in this generation, but a lot of
them sort of lock that sort of like social interaction
and then much rather do it in like chat rooms,
and you know it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah, it is crazy.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Well, I mean, we wish all the parents at home,
you know, all the serenity or the peace, all the happiness,
you know, and we're definitely trying to call through it it.
We don't have all the answers here, but we're trying
to figure it out as we go.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
And thank you to everyone who related to the chunk
and look it up.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
And for those of you who don't know what it is,
look up chunk lit.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Yeah, it's a mystical artifact from our ancient years, mystic
rtifest you know, I think it was.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
It dates back to the Aztecs. Actually, yeah, that's where
the Chacolta was born.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, but they where they perfected the throwing style.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
If you like those amigos, share with a friend, tell
him where to watch film, tell him where to listen
to And this episode was helpful.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
I love you guys, Thank you. This is Wilmer.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, and you watched and listened to those Amigos.
See you next time.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Those Amigos is a production from w V Sound and
iHeartMedia's Michael through That Podcast Network, hosted by Me, Freddie
Rodriguez and Wilmer of Aaldorama.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burleson and Sophie Spencers Abos.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Our executive producers are Wilmer Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson,
and Leo Klem at w V sound.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
This episode was shot and ended it by Ryan Posts
and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by
Madison Devin and Halo boy.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Our cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed
by Deny.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Holtzklau and thank you for being here third Amigo today.
I appreciate you guys always listening to those amos.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the ir Heart
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
See you next week.
Hosts And Creators
Wilmer Valderrama
Freddy Rodriguez
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