August 19, 2024 • 35 mins
Did you know Jana Kramer almost didn't play Alex Dupre? Yup -- It's true!
Join Sophia as she gets all the details from Jana's recent wedding, hears all about adorable baby number 3 and of course, chats all things OTH -- including Julian and how she eventually got him!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
First of all, you don't know me.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We all about that high school drama. Girl drama girl,
all about them high school queens. We'll take you for
a rod and our comic girl shared for the right
drama queens up girl fashion, but your tough girl, you
could sit with us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Girl Drama, Queens Drama, Queise Drama, Queens Drama, drahn the
Queens Drama Queens.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Hi, I'm so happy you're here. Literally, So Rob had
a conflict Joy is like in London, and they were like,
oh no, we're so sorry, We're gonna have to reschedule
this week. I was like, everybody out of my way.
I need to catch up with my girl, like we
have so much to talk about. And Rob was so cute.
He was like, oh, you have to ask Jana if
she like did the same thing I did, which was like,
(00:45):
you guys were doing the podcast. He goes and for
the longest time, I was like, why aren't my friends
inviting me on their show? And then I realized you
only like have people on when their character is on screen,
so I was gonna have to wait seven seasons. I
was like, God, I've been like I've been chomping at
the bit to get to here and we're finally here.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Yeah, no, one thousand percent. I thought the say. I
was like, well, everyone's like kept asking me, why are
you be on drab and Queens. I was like, I
don't know. I don't still think they like me because
I'm not so but it's fine.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You just forget that we did our show for essentially
the equivalent of one hundred and forty years, So it
took us a while to get to Alex Duprey.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah. I mean like so many episodes and just so
long and that's just kind of so unheard of now
in this day and age of like TV. And so
I'm like when I even tried to rewatch things from
I'm like, there's no time.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
There's some time. By the way, I think about that
so often, like when we go do our sweet little
conventions and we get to regroup with people, it's like
someone will say, oh, I'm on my fifth rewatch, and
I'll look at them and be like, do you have
like a time management app? You know something about free
time that I don't know, and I would love your
skills And people look at me like I'm crazy. I'm like,
(01:57):
I just don't I don't feel like I have the
time to.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Watch new things, right, Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Am loving the experience of going back and watching our show. Okay,
for our friends at home, I clearly am very excited.
I actually started before you got in. I was just
like talking to everyone about how excited I was that
you were here, and then realized I wasn't recording because
I'm like so amped that I had forgotten how to
do my job. But I voice noted Janne last night
(02:23):
and I was like, I'm beside myself that you're coming.
I had obviously the most fun working with you. Like
for everyone at home, we were roommates for years. I
love this woman, but like Brooke and Alex were adversaries,
so I had to be in scenes. And obviously I
was so enamored with you because you're the most charming
(02:44):
personal live but like I never got to just watch you.
I had to act with you. And now I'm watching
you and I am like cackling out loud. I'm obsessed
with Alex Dupray. I finally relate to Joy where she's like,
oh yeah, it's really weird for me, Like anytime Nathan
has chemistry with a girl on screen, I'm like jealous,
and I was like, that's weird. And then I was like,
(03:06):
I was like, how cute. I guess because you guys
work together for so long and you know, Julian is
Brook's endgame and I was like, they have really good chemistry.
I was sort of offended. I'm also sort of a fan.
Should Alex and Julian of ended up together, Like, I
don't know what's happening to me.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Well, spoiler alert, Alex did get Julian in the end
in a different movie, because we just didn't. We just
did a movie together, and every little piece of my heart,
I was like, I'm going to go on Drama Queen's
and be like, well Alex finally got to kiss Julian
and Alex but then he tried to kill her, so
you know it didn't really.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
End up well okay, well that that was the plot
twist I didn't see coming, but probably the point of
the movie.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, but yeah, anyway, but it was like it was
very much like a A wow. I was like a
lot of people are like, Brooke is not going to
like this because like the Tree Hills, like you know,
when they cast said Austin and Together, I'm like, all right,
he's playing my husband. And my first thought was the
Tree Hill fans. I was like, they're gonna yeah this.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I sort of love it though. I feel like it's
such a testament to our show that so many of
us wind up coming together on all these other endeavors.
Like there's something really special about the kinds of friendships
you build where it doesn't matter if it's been a
week or a year since you've seen someone, You're like
right back in the groove. Yeah, it's something that only
(04:23):
this little handful of us got to do together, and
it's so special.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah, it was. It was cool because I was so
my husband has never never watched One Tree Hill ever,
and oh my god, I was going to ask, yeah,
he's never watched, had no idea who I was on
the show, and he and honestly, like, when I auditioned
for One Tree Hill, I didn't even audition for Alex,
auditioned for Chantelle's character. I didn't know that in Chantale
(04:50):
auditioned for Alex.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
What wait, okay, hold on, hold on, do you know
that when the show first started? And I didn't even
know this until years later because Brook's not in the
pie so like I missed, you know. I showed up
in Wilmington in July for like episode one, and everybody
had had this pre existing life for months where like
they knew each other and all these things from the
pilot back in April, and I had no clue about
(05:16):
very pivotal pieces of information, both on screen and off.
And I learned that originally the WB had tried to
cast Chad as Nathan. Oh wow, and he was like, no,
I always play the bad guy. I want to play
the good guy because I guess his character on Dawson's
Creek was like a really terrible person. I don't know.
I didn't watch the later seasons of the show, but
(05:37):
so Chad was almost Nathan and you were almost Quinn. Yeah,
oh my god, this is crazy.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah. So I remember going into producer sessions with you know,
the producers, and then the creator was there and he
was like, you're great, but I don't think this is
your part. And I was like okay. He's like, can
you read these sides? Can you go out in the
hall and read these sides? And so I'm just like yeah, sure, yep.
(06:04):
And so I go out there and I'm reading these
sides and I'm like, this is so not me, Like
this is the farthest thing from me. I don't feel
connected to this character at all, and I just like
I don't know, like the every time, even like to
this day, whenever there's like a really big energy, I
just I don't know, I just it doesn't like it
just feels weird. I'm like, she's an alcoholic and I've
(06:25):
never been drunk before, and I've never done drugs, and
so it's just like all the things. I'm like, I
just have not connected this character. And then I booked
it and I was like, oh crap. So so then,
like watching back, I was always really insecure of playing
Alex because I just didn't I don't know, it just
it she didn't. I really had to like try to
like create create something different with her and try to
(06:46):
make her have a little bit of heart in moments. Yeah,
because I just didn't like connect her at times. But
then there's other scenes where it was like, you know,
later on scenes, I'm like, oh my gosh, I so
connect her. But but yeah, it was it was always
so weird. But watching back, I'm like, Okay, I wasn't.
In my head, I thought I wasn't. I wasn't good.
I wasn't like funny or I wasn't and I'm like, oh,
I'm actually laughing along to like our scenes. It was
(07:07):
like enjoyable to actually watch back a few episodes to
go okay, like this was funny or I did do
a decent job.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
I mean, my god, you're so good. It's really interesting
to hear you talk about it in that way because
that's how I felt getting cast as Brooke.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Oh wow, and you're like the perfect Brook And.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
To me you obviously I know you as a human differently,
and you know me as a human differently, But on
screen you embody so much of Alex And I think
I think maybe that's the through line is when you
can't understand why someone would behave in a way, you
really have to figure out why. You have to figure
out their emotional story. You have to have something underneath
(07:49):
it that makes this, you know, on paper outlandish behavior
feel like it comes from somewhere.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
And I remember early in us doing the podcast when
Joy and Hill and I were talking and Joy was like, wait,
I but hold on, because to me, you know, this
all made sense. Why did it feel so different for you,
and I told her this, and I don't know if
we've ever talked about this part, but like when we
started the show, like when I came in for episode one,
(08:21):
I was three years out of an all girls school,
Like there were fifty five girls in my graduating class,
and we were in school from seventh through twelfth grade together,
and then I went to you know, a big sort
of traditional college for three years, and then I came
to set. I was like, what is high school? Who
are boys? Like, what do you mean they're in your class?
(08:44):
What do you mean people ditch? I could never I
could never have skipped class, like in the school that
I went to, There's no way I could have gotten
away with it. So to be this girl who was
like sexual and into i don't know, being wild and
cutting school, I didn't care. I was. I felt like
you felt being like, uh okay, I guess I have
(09:07):
to figure out why she's like.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
This, right, And you did and you killed it.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
What a trip though, because I feel that watching you,
I'm like, you just absolutely crushed it.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Well, thank you. But it was like we ended up
watching a couple more of the episodes and there was
that you know, the scenes where I ended up finding
her and me through her. It was it was a
very like Crety and I like I now miss playing Alex.
It's like, I just she was so fun, you know,
and I feel like a lot of times I I
(09:39):
don't take risks and I'm like, oh, I'm not right
for this, I'm not right for this, and so she's
like that character has kind of helped me go Okay, no,
I wasn't right for that. I didn't feel like I
was right for that and I got it, so like
kind of and then like have fun with things? Is
I really truly like I there's I stopped myself from
the fun and the joy of a lot of stuff.
So because I'm too in my brain.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah, yeah, oh isn't It's so interesting when we go
to therapy and we figure out how our childhood trauma
presents as adults and you're like, I'm not going to
do that, and I'm not going to do that, and
I'm not going to do anything that is maybe unsafe,
and then it's in the unsafe where you kind of
learn the most and you have the most fun with yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah. So yeah, but that's why I missed it. That's
why it was fun to kind of like revisit. And
then Alan was just chuckling in bed last night just
watching all of it. He was just like, he was,
your voice is different. I'm like, I know, why is
my voice so high?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
But maybe that maybe the voice helped you get into
it right, you know?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I loved it. Okay, So we are an easy ten
minutes in and I think what we have to do
for the fans. I want to go through some like
Q and A, let's get into some stuff questions and
then do the episode because I feel like we have
too much to talk about to try to do them
all at the same time. Are you down? Just so
you just talked about Alan? Also footnote, So Megan Park,
(10:59):
you know who's married to Tyler Hilton for all the
friends at home, our beloved Chris Keller. Megan got these
hats made that say I've never seen One Tree Hill
because she'd never seen it, and she sent one to
Ash and I feel like Alan needs one too.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
One percent. And also yo, I mean I hate to
say it, but I never watched I know, I personally
never watched One Tree Hill, and I watched a couple episodes,
but then I didn't go back, and like, I didn't
even know Nathan and uh, I didn't know there were brothers,
like until like way later. I really just didn't do
(11:37):
my research before going on the show. I knew you,
I knew like, but I just yeah, I know, I
was so nervous. I remember working with you. I was like,
oh my gosh, she's so Sophia Bush.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Oh my god. Stop.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
But yeah, so I but yeah, Alan for sure because
he's never seen any of them, so yeah, until.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
That is so great? Yeah wait, so what what did
he think? What was the feedback?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
He he was like, you know, in his little cute
Scottish accent, he's like he really, He's like, yeah, babies,
like that was I get it. I get why people
like it so much. He's like, I got into it,
you know. So then, because he was asking questions about
the episode we were watching, He's like, so, wait, did
is there a love child with Nathan or is that
like she she actually lying? So I'm like, oh, you're
(12:19):
asking questions.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Interesting, You're into it, invested in the drama.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah, And he's like, okay, So I thought, then I
thought Colletti or you know, Stephen's character was with Mia.
What so I thought that was your boy So he
was like, how does what's the progression like? And so
he was he was definitely asking. So he liked it.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
I love it. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
And then he was just like you're so young, and
you know, he's like, you're cute.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I was watching yesterday to get prepped, and I'm on
the East coast and so Ash sat down to watch
with me. Our friend Sammy's here and she was like, wait,
but that's your boyfriend. Wait, you also dated this guy
in high school? Wait? Okay, has Brooke dated every boy
on the show? Okay? Wait. There were so many questions
and I was like, oh man, people, it's the exact
(13:04):
same feeling. You're like, oh, you really do want to
know who these people are. You want to understand their world.
And then the question that is the bane of my existence,
which doesn't relate to any of our characters, is everyone
who tunes in and later seasons goes, why is your
store so purple? I'm like, listen, I didn't pick it out.
It wouldn't have been my choice. I don't know what
else to say other than it was the early aughts
(13:25):
and people were really into lavender.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
It worked, It worked, it's fine, fine, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Okay, you and Alan got married in Scotland. Congratulations. How
long has it been? How is newly led life? Tell
us how you met your man?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
So he DMed me on Instagram's s not Yeah, he
slid into the dms, but he was. He's a football
soccer coach and so he was coaching in England and
at the time, you know, I'm divorced to have two kids,
and I had just had quite a fun summer and
I'm like, you know what, I just need a break
and I just want to just chill and U But
(14:18):
he was pretty persistent, and I told him if he
was ever in the States to come to Nashville and
you know, we can go out for a drink. And he, uh,
we were yeah, we were texting, and then he's like,
all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna be in Tampa, so
I'm gonna come. I'd love to take you out in Nashville.
So I was like, sure, I'll go out with you.
And then it was just like stepping into my own
(14:40):
Christmas movie. We was in November and the Christmas lights
were all up in the tree and he just like
turns around and his like dapper, you know, peak coat
and his like sexy Scottish accent, and I was like, oh,
I am so screwed. Yeah, and then you know, things
obviously progressed pretty quick from there and he moved over
in March. I was in gosh, I mean what April?
(15:04):
And then we had our baby in November and yeah,
and then we just got married on July thirteenth, twenty four.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Oh, it's so exciting.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Yeah, and he's I mean, he's a dream. It's it's been.
It's it's so beautiful now kind of where life is
at because I always there were so many questions like
why did this happen? Or how come I had to
go through that and like I you know, the struggle
that I had with my ex husband for seven years
and just like the back and forth you know, affairs,
and it's like it's it's so beautiful now to go okay,
(15:36):
I had to kind of walk this path, find me
through that path, and then find the absolute love of
my life who I just trust with everything, and he
how he loves my you know, my two kids has
now step kids is just it's so beautiful and like
they they now get to see what you know, true
love looks like and in a you know, a more
modern world, and it's just it's beautiful, and he's he's
(16:00):
so good with me, like he pushes me, but yet
he's very he's very protective, he's very loving, and we
just we have each other's back, and I just I
don't there's no there's no doubts because he shows up.
He says what he says, and he does what he does.
You know, he says what he does. So it's those
words and actions match, and it makes me then trust
him and not you know, freak out like I did
(16:21):
the last time. So it's just like it's a beautiful
and it's peaceful, and it's like I finally can take
a breath and just like have steady ground, and that's
just a joy.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I like, I love that you chose to say peaceful.
We've certainly like been through the Ringer together and in parallel,
and I didn't even realize for the longest time how
hard all the work felt. And I think when you
(16:51):
have to your point past betrayal to heal, you know,
very by the way well deserved trust issues, Like when
you've been through things that are so hard, I think
there can even be at least there was for me
this like subconscious desire to prove that that didn't change
you and that you can move past it. And when
(17:14):
you try to do everything right, it doesn't necessarily mean
that it's right for you. Doesn't necessarily mean that checking
every you know box off the list is going to
actually lead you to happiness or peace. And sometimes I
wonder if, especially because for us as performance artists, we've
(17:39):
been trained to like push through the pain, sing through
the sickness, act through the illness, whatever it is, because
you have to be a good team leader. And I
think that that can be really great in a team sport,
but isn't necessarily so great in your personal home life.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
And when you.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Stop like fighting through it and you find a person
you can rest with, like what a gift?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Yeah? So yeah, I mean there's there's that piece, and
then there's just there's a piece. There's a piece of
just so much safety too, not in like a settling
safety way, like he's just like I feel so safe
with him, and and with that is the support and
the love and everything else. But there's I've always kind
of feared things, and I don't have to fear anymore.
(18:26):
I don't have to fear of the abuse. I don't
have to fear of the betrayal. Like I get to
just feel safe in a beautiful way. And that's that's
a gift for sure too.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Well, yeah, when your nervous system gets to.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Relax, I know, I'm like, oh, well this is nice.
And so now I'm like with my ax, I'm like
thank you, Like, yeah, thanks, Yeah, it's good. You know.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
I think that's a really profound place to get to,
is when you can look at every thing that's ever
happened to you, every way someone betrayed your trust and go,
you know what, if that's what it took me to
get here and to just like lay it all down
and be willing to start over and be happy. Thank you.
Oh yeah, it's big. I'm just so happy for you.
(19:13):
So what is what is life like? Tell us what's
going on? I mean, you've you've been such a great
leader with your platform, like the things that you have
been willing to speak about and the journeys you've been
willing to take people on. I think I think people
don't always necessarily know what sort of courage and vulnerability
(19:34):
that can take. But you've modeled it really really beautifully,
and I don't know, like what what feels like next.
You know, you just talked about the movie you did
with Austin.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Yeah, it was so fun that came out, That came
out this summer, and it was it was so fun.
And that was a you know, that was a piece
on domestic violence, which you know obviously you know my
past with domestic violence. So to be able to kind
of change the script and I got to get the
power back through acting was a really powerful moment. Like
I never got to I got to see my ex
(20:08):
in court, but I never got to say anything. And
so this like I got to you know, change the
script with that, and so that was a really powerful
thing I got to this past summer and you know, uh,
this year, I mean my book, I'm still you know,
promoting the book that I wrote last year or the
next chapter. And that was you know, walking through a
really hard season of you know, divorce and getting through that.
And but really I've always put my joy and happiness
(20:33):
on a relationship and a man, and I really had
to go, okay, I have I forced myself to be
alone to find true happiness with myself. And that was
the hardest piece of my post divorce that I had
to walk through because I've always was like I am
happy when I am in a relationship, and I was like,
I have to break that cycle because I will never
be happy. He will never be enough or make me happy.
(20:55):
So I'm like, I got to find it. So I
think that was a you know, so I'm still you know,
working on ways of you know, still talking about that.
And obviously through my podcast wind Down has been you know,
a really we do like therapy Thursdays because obviously, I
think it's really important to talk about, you know, mental health.
So we have two episodes a week that we do,
(21:15):
uh and then you know, I'm just grinding and auditioning
and just trying to like my dream obviously is to
be back on a show watching these episodes again, and
I you know, I kind of fast forward through a
few more of the other ones and you know, getting
to one of the episodes and the season one of
the season finales was like like having that like camaraderie
(21:36):
again with like a cast, and like it's just like
like I miss it, Like I miss I miss showing
up and doing that and working, you know, and I've
gotten so close on some shows that have just been heartbreaking.
In this industry is so hard, you know, it's like, yeah,
I had one that I tested for, got pinned for,
and you know, working out all the stuff, and then
you get the call they're like they went with the
(21:58):
other one, other actress, and it's like it's just devastating,
you know, because you get so close and you're like, well,
I don't know when I'm going to be that close again.
But I'm for me, I'm just like, you know, I
support my kids, and I will always be working and
grinding and and a piece of that is like I
want to be giving back and working on charities and stuff,
but also you know, dream goals or yeah I get
(22:20):
back on a show, that's like my number one thing
is working towards that, and you know, just being the
best mom my kid because I've got three kids now,
and you know, my husband he's traveling a lot with soccer.
So it's just you know, it's a lot as you
know now with having littles around, and so it's you know,
it's a it's a responsibility. And for me, it's like
(22:42):
I just I want to I want to keep grinding,
but I have to you know, support supporting them, and
also like their childhood goes by so fast that I
want to be present in those moments too. Like there's
a lot of things that I've There was a movie
I didn't take this year because I didn't want to
go back to back movies because I'm like, I'm not
going to miss six weeks that kids. Like, that's just
I'm still a mom first and foremost.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, I know, it's like the grind changes and to
really realize how how everything you do models for them,
and you know, I think there's no way that you
go through like some of the things you and I
have been through, and you get to the other end
(23:26):
of it where you go, oh, I can see everything
that led me here. I see what I accepted that
I shouldn't have. I see that I didn't know my worth.
I see that I thought if I could build around
what might be missing, maybe the center would fill in.
Like whatever the aha moments are, you know, I and
(23:48):
I know you feel a lot of this, Like I
love my parents, but there was a whole lot I
didn't learn in my house that I'm finally coming to
terms with as an adult, and I cherish the fact
that we have such a good relationship and now we
can talk about a lot of the things that I
didn't necessarily understand as a kid. But when you realize
how early they get molded and how early they learn,
(24:12):
you know, what healthy love is, and that they matter
and that they deserve to be seen and heard and
all these things, it's like, yeah, shifts everything and I
get you know, when you're young, it's like you go, yeah,
we can do it all, we can have it all,
and then you become an adult and you go, yeah, maybe,
but not all at the same time. Right. And I
(24:33):
called one of my girlfriends who has two kids, and
I was like the fact that I ever with a
straight face, looked at you and was like, well, yeah,
why don't we just have dinner after the kids go
to bed like eight o'clock? Like excuse you, Yeah, if
they've gone to bed at eight, like you're asleep by
eight twelve, what are you talking about. It's just like
a crazy it's a crazy thing, and it's fun. It's
(24:54):
really special to watch you get to do all this,
navigate all this, and I love I love the fact,
even by the way that you're so open, like to
have written the book and to talk about what it
is to find that sort of piece in yourself and
then also to be like, just because I finally put
(25:18):
my own puzzle together, doesn't mean I don't have to
work on me.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Oh no, I go every two weeks to therapy, you know,
because it's things come up that trigger you from certain
things in your past. You know, that's the whole thing.
And what I think is cool about kind of you
and I too, is like I you've seen me go
on that boy Chase struggle and that like and it's
like there's so many times too, and like I can
reverse it and go man, you know, it's when I've
(25:44):
seen my friends kind of see what I was doing.
It's like you you can't do anything, you can't say anything.
They just person just has to go through it, you know.
So and it's kind of you know, you and you've
gone on your own path of how your childhood has
led you to walk different different roads. So yeah, you know,
and you just you find it out and then you
(26:04):
get to make the choice whether you're gonna succumb to
that or you're going to change it, and you know grow, So.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Yeah, it is, it's so it's so surreal. One of
the things that I love that you mentioned about even
carving out a space for that sort of growth on
the podcast, like what you do on wind down and
what you do on Thursdays. I just think it's more
powerful than you might even realize. The willingness to normalize growth,
(26:36):
to normalize learning, how to choose yourself, to say no
matter what it looks like on the outside, you don't
have any idea what's happening on the inside. You know,
the courage that it takes to share those things, I
don't know. I just I'm grateful that you do it well.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Like we're always going to get thrown things our way,
Like life isn't easy. It's hard. There's things that don't
make sense to us that we can be triggered from.
But also like just because I'm not in a you know,
my relationship now is is the healthiest model of a
relationship I've ever had, But there's still going to be
things that come in, like I said, like from my past.
So it's yeah, okay, how do I how do I
(27:16):
make sure that I communicate from the girl I am
now as opposed to the girl twenty years ago, because
I don't because I can. I can go back real
fast to her, and I can go in protective mode
and I can be an ass and I can be
mean with my words and I can like but that's
all like my protection and that's me trying to because
I get scared and you're gonna you're gonna leave me,
You're not gonna choose me, and so it's like I
go right back. So it's like, how do I like
(27:37):
take those moments to just like breathe and go, Okay,
he's not leaving me, he's not hurt, you know, So
it's like or and it's not just him, but like
just anybody. So it's like because I go straight into
like got to protect myself d up like and so
you know that's like those things like that is just
you know, continuing to work on that and then something
that else, you know, anything else that kind of comes
(27:58):
up is just like I just think that you can
always be growing, you can always be healing, you can
always be learning. And so if I'm because that's going
to make me a better parent too.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
So yes, please, I'm like you know, you know, back
when Oprah was on and she'd be like tweet it,
like I'm like put it up, but make it a billboard. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
I just I love it.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Well, we were having it was funny, there was and
it wasn't even because we haven't even had like an argument,
like we've you know, bickered a few times. But like
the other day, I had to I had to work
something in with We were just kind of walking through
something that I knew was possibly going to be triggering
for both of us, and so I was like, all right,
I'm going to tap into some therapy right now. I'm like, Okay,
(28:41):
what I heard you said was this? And I'm like,
is there anything I missed so that way, you know,
and then like and then what did you hear me say?
So it was just like and we had like the
most amazing conversation and like old school Janet, it would
have been probably like a big fight, you know, right.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Isn't that cool though, when you see yourself grow and
you're like, wow, I had that. I had that recently too,
like you know, the ringer of my early twenties and
like going from this tiny environment to college, which you know,
in two thousand, like I felt like I was on
the side of can't hardly wait or something like it
felt like a rom com. And then to be on
(29:30):
our show, which was such a highlight, but to like
get chewed up the way women were in that early
ATS era in the tabloids and whatever, and by the way,
to have all these other people project someone else's behavior
like onto me, and I was like, make the person
who did the behavior answer for it, Like I don't
want to answer for it. Stop asking me about it.
(29:51):
Like it was really traumatizing as a young as a
young person, and it was hard to go through it
so quickly as our show, oh you know, was new
and whatnot, and like recently I felt that part of
me get triggered. That was like, leave me the fuck alone,
back off stop And I was like, oh whoa like
(30:13):
that old wound, like that pain, that twenty two to
twenty three year old version of me needs adult me
to hold her and let her know that even though
she was very alone then and the adults in the
room were incredibly terrible to her and made a lot
of this stuff worse, Like I'm the adult in the
room now. But I was like, wow, it's been a
(30:34):
while since since I saw her. It's been a while
since I let her drive the car right, and like, okay,
really important to check in and be reminded that, like,
it's okay to say it's hard to do what we do.
It's hard to be one little human on the receiving
end of millions of people's feedback. It's understandable that that's tough.
(30:56):
Let's change our relationship to it for a while, let's
set better boundaries around it. Yeah, it's an interesting thing
as an adult to start reparenting, you know, your younger selves,
because you carry them around in you like little nesting
dolls forever.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Well that and like you just the age of you know,
when we started. When I started One Tree Hill, we
didn't have I didn't have an Instagram, and so god,
I wish I could. You know, there's Instagram has has
helped me support my children, and so for that, I'm
very grateful for that platform. And also it's been half
(31:32):
the reason why I'm in therapy with because of the
loud noises and the voices and the criticism and and
also you know, we're you know, I've I've faulted in
those areas too. Like I've been on the other side
of it too, and I'm like, wow, I was just
a total hypocrite.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Oh you mean you were a human. You were actually
a human was not perfect all the time like a robot.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Right, But it's it's just like everything is so multiplied.
And my therapist has really helped me work on because
I would sit and stew and read and like almost
like like be like, oh that I am that person.
I'm like, no, that's not who I am, and like
and so she was. She really helped me with not
letting the gas in. She's like, stop opening the window
(32:14):
to get the gas. Like She's like, you can't breathe.
He's like, why are you You're literally letting the toxins
in when you open the window. She's like, you are,
and you are doing it. She's like, I'm not opening
the window for you. You're allowing the window to open.
And I'm like, yeah, well but you don't understand and
it's hard and you like you but and like me,
I just like always want to like defend myself and
like prove that I'm not this person, because that's what
(32:34):
I've felt like I've had to do with my past abusers,
like prove that I'm not the reason like that I
should be hit or this that and the other and
so it's like, yeah, and I've and I don't know,
if you like you don't want to talk with that's
totally fine. But like when i've kind of you've obviously
had the other side of you know, the criticism and
online stuff too with other things, and it's like, how
(32:55):
you've is that why you kind of go offline a
little bit at times? Like I see you on there?
But then also like it's like how do you deal
with like that? Absolutely feeding into that that's people are negative.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
People are horrible, And what you realize is it's like
you just don't know. Like people who saw you with
your ex didn't know you were being abused. People who
saw me try to like build this life that I
believed in and that I always wanted have no idea
(33:27):
what it was like to go through the brutality of
a year of fertility.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
And social media does not know that inside walls, inside
the four walls, I don't know how.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Many years you struggle, yea, they don't know what you're going.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
To know any struggle. Alan always says, what's inside our
four walls, that's what that's what matters, and that's the truth.
We love Alan, We love Alan. It's just like my
steady calm like anger.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Rob calls me the president of the Jana Kramer Fan
Club Strong Queens, and I, I know you're clearly the
president of the Alan Russell Fan Club, but I would
like to be your VP and coacher. I got it.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
And can I be Ashley since she's kind of my
lesbian well she isn't kind of, she is my lesbian crush.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
So if I could just hi, thanks, girl, Absolutely come over.
We all need we need to like, we need to
get the family.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
We can talk football, we can do a double date
and we can talk well they you know soccer. You know,
I have to I have to say, I mean it's
real soccer, Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
It is like, it's so weird to me that we
have this incredible global sport that is played with feet.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
Does she call it soccer though, even though they it's
she's an American.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
It's it's like back and forth for her. She played
in Germany, she played in Sweden. Like she's done the whole,
the whole rigamarole. But it's very funny to me that
like in America, we're like, well, for the world, the
game with the feet is football. But here we throw
a ball around with our hands, and we'll call it
football because we decided. I'm like, who did who didn't?
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Double date? Coming soon they can just football football.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I can't wait. This has felt like therapy for me.
I'm madly in love with you. I have one million
more questions for you about our show, about Alex dupray
about I mean, every dreamy will maintain thing. So let's
go do seven oh six.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Hey, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Don't forget to leave us a review. You can also
follow us on Instagram at Drama Queen's ot.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
H or email us at Drama Queens at iHeartRadio dot com.
See you next time we all about that.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
High school drama. Girl Drama Girl, all about them high
school queens Forever.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
We'll take you for a ride at our comic Girl
Shared for the Right Teams, Drama Queens, My go up Girl.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Fashion with your tough girl
Speaker 1 (35:45):
You could sit with us Girl Drama Queens, Drama, Queense Drama, Queens,
Drama Drama Queens, Drama Queens
First of all, you don't know me.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We all about that high school drama. Girl drama girl,
all about them high school queens. We'll take you for
a rod and our comic girl shared for the right
drama queens up girl fashion, but your tough girl, you
could sit with us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Girl Drama, Queens Drama, Queise Drama, Queens Drama, drahn the
Queens Drama Queens.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Hi, I'm so happy you're here. Literally, So Rob had
a conflict Joy is like in London, and they were like,
oh no, we're so sorry, We're gonna have to reschedule
this week. I was like, everybody out of my way.
I need to catch up with my girl, like we
have so much to talk about. And Rob was so cute.
He was like, oh, you have to ask Jana if
she like did the same thing I did, which was like,
(00:45):
you guys were doing the podcast. He goes and for
the longest time, I was like, why aren't my friends
inviting me on their show? And then I realized you
only like have people on when their character is on screen,
so I was gonna have to wait seven seasons. I
was like, God, I've been like I've been chomping at
the bit to get to here and we're finally here.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Yeah, no, one thousand percent. I thought the say. I
was like, well, everyone's like kept asking me, why are
you be on drab and Queens. I was like, I
don't know. I don't still think they like me because
I'm not so but it's fine.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You just forget that we did our show for essentially
the equivalent of one hundred and forty years, So it
took us a while to get to Alex Duprey.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah. I mean like so many episodes and just so
long and that's just kind of so unheard of now
in this day and age of like TV. And so
I'm like when I even tried to rewatch things from
I'm like, there's no time.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
There's some time. By the way, I think about that
so often, like when we go do our sweet little
conventions and we get to regroup with people, it's like
someone will say, oh, I'm on my fifth rewatch, and
I'll look at them and be like, do you have
like a time management app? You know something about free
time that I don't know, and I would love your
skills And people look at me like I'm crazy. I'm like,
(01:57):
I just don't I don't feel like I have the
time to.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Watch new things, right, Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Am loving the experience of going back and watching our show. Okay,
for our friends at home, I clearly am very excited.
I actually started before you got in. I was just
like talking to everyone about how excited I was that
you were here, and then realized I wasn't recording because
I'm like so amped that I had forgotten how to
do my job. But I voice noted Janne last night
(02:23):
and I was like, I'm beside myself that you're coming.
I had obviously the most fun working with you. Like
for everyone at home, we were roommates for years. I
love this woman, but like Brooke and Alex were adversaries,
so I had to be in scenes. And obviously I
was so enamored with you because you're the most charming
(02:44):
personal live but like I never got to just watch you.
I had to act with you. And now I'm watching
you and I am like cackling out loud. I'm obsessed
with Alex Dupray. I finally relate to Joy where she's like,
oh yeah, it's really weird for me, Like anytime Nathan
has chemistry with a girl on screen, I'm like jealous,
and I was like, that's weird. And then I was like,
(03:06):
I was like, how cute. I guess because you guys
work together for so long and you know, Julian is
Brook's endgame and I was like, they have really good chemistry.
I was sort of offended. I'm also sort of a fan.
Should Alex and Julian of ended up together, Like, I
don't know what's happening to me.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Well, spoiler alert, Alex did get Julian in the end
in a different movie, because we just didn't. We just
did a movie together, and every little piece of my heart,
I was like, I'm going to go on Drama Queen's
and be like, well Alex finally got to kiss Julian
and Alex but then he tried to kill her, so
you know it didn't really.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
End up well okay, well that that was the plot
twist I didn't see coming, but probably the point of
the movie.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, but yeah, anyway, but it was like it was
very much like a A wow. I was like a
lot of people are like, Brooke is not going to
like this because like the Tree Hills, like you know,
when they cast said Austin and Together, I'm like, all right,
he's playing my husband. And my first thought was the
Tree Hill fans. I was like, they're gonna yeah this.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I sort of love it though. I feel like it's
such a testament to our show that so many of
us wind up coming together on all these other endeavors.
Like there's something really special about the kinds of friendships
you build where it doesn't matter if it's been a
week or a year since you've seen someone, You're like
right back in the groove. Yeah, it's something that only
(04:23):
this little handful of us got to do together, and
it's so special.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah, it was. It was cool because I was so
my husband has never never watched One Tree Hill ever,
and oh my god, I was going to ask, yeah,
he's never watched, had no idea who I was on
the show, and he and honestly, like, when I auditioned
for One Tree Hill, I didn't even audition for Alex,
auditioned for Chantelle's character. I didn't know that in Chantale
(04:50):
auditioned for Alex.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
What wait, okay, hold on, hold on, do you know
that when the show first started? And I didn't even
know this until years later because Brook's not in the
pie so like I missed, you know. I showed up
in Wilmington in July for like episode one, and everybody
had had this pre existing life for months where like
they knew each other and all these things from the
pilot back in April, and I had no clue about
(05:16):
very pivotal pieces of information, both on screen and off.
And I learned that originally the WB had tried to
cast Chad as Nathan. Oh wow, and he was like, no,
I always play the bad guy. I want to play
the good guy because I guess his character on Dawson's
Creek was like a really terrible person. I don't know.
I didn't watch the later seasons of the show, but
(05:37):
so Chad was almost Nathan and you were almost Quinn. Yeah,
oh my god, this is crazy.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah. So I remember going into producer sessions with you know,
the producers, and then the creator was there and he
was like, you're great, but I don't think this is
your part. And I was like okay. He's like, can
you read these sides? Can you go out in the
hall and read these sides? And so I'm just like yeah, sure, yep.
(06:04):
And so I go out there and I'm reading these
sides and I'm like, this is so not me, Like
this is the farthest thing from me. I don't feel
connected to this character at all, and I just like
I don't know, like the every time, even like to
this day, whenever there's like a really big energy, I
just I don't know, I just it doesn't like it
just feels weird. I'm like, she's an alcoholic and I've
(06:25):
never been drunk before, and I've never done drugs, and
so it's just like all the things. I'm like, I
just have not connected this character. And then I booked
it and I was like, oh crap. So so then,
like watching back, I was always really insecure of playing
Alex because I just didn't I don't know, it just
it she didn't. I really had to like try to
like create create something different with her and try to
(06:46):
make her have a little bit of heart in moments. Yeah,
because I just didn't like connect her at times. But
then there's other scenes where it was like, you know,
later on scenes, I'm like, oh my gosh, I so
connect her. But but yeah, it was it was always
so weird. But watching back, I'm like, Okay, I wasn't.
In my head, I thought I wasn't. I wasn't good.
I wasn't like funny or I wasn't and I'm like, oh,
I'm actually laughing along to like our scenes. It was
(07:07):
like enjoyable to actually watch back a few episodes to
go okay, like this was funny or I did do
a decent job.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
I mean, my god, you're so good. It's really interesting
to hear you talk about it in that way because
that's how I felt getting cast as Brooke.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Oh wow, and you're like the perfect Brook And.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
To me you obviously I know you as a human differently,
and you know me as a human differently, But on
screen you embody so much of Alex And I think
I think maybe that's the through line is when you
can't understand why someone would behave in a way, you
really have to figure out why. You have to figure
out their emotional story. You have to have something underneath
(07:49):
it that makes this, you know, on paper outlandish behavior
feel like it comes from somewhere.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
And I remember early in us doing the podcast when
Joy and Hill and I were talking and Joy was like, wait,
I but hold on, because to me, you know, this
all made sense. Why did it feel so different for you,
and I told her this, and I don't know if
we've ever talked about this part, but like when we
started the show, like when I came in for episode one,
(08:21):
I was three years out of an all girls school,
Like there were fifty five girls in my graduating class,
and we were in school from seventh through twelfth grade together,
and then I went to you know, a big sort
of traditional college for three years, and then I came
to set. I was like, what is high school? Who
are boys? Like, what do you mean they're in your class?
(08:44):
What do you mean people ditch? I could never I
could never have skipped class, like in the school that
I went to, There's no way I could have gotten
away with it. So to be this girl who was
like sexual and into i don't know, being wild and
cutting school, I didn't care. I was. I felt like
you felt being like, uh okay, I guess I have
(09:07):
to figure out why she's like.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
This, right, And you did and you killed it.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
What a trip though, because I feel that watching you,
I'm like, you just absolutely crushed it.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Well, thank you. But it was like we ended up
watching a couple more of the episodes and there was
that you know, the scenes where I ended up finding
her and me through her. It was it was a
very like Crety and I like I now miss playing Alex.
It's like, I just she was so fun, you know,
and I feel like a lot of times I I
(09:39):
don't take risks and I'm like, oh, I'm not right
for this, I'm not right for this, and so she's
like that character has kind of helped me go Okay, no,
I wasn't right for that. I didn't feel like I
was right for that and I got it, so like
kind of and then like have fun with things? Is
I really truly like I there's I stopped myself from
the fun and the joy of a lot of stuff.
So because I'm too in my brain.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah, yeah, oh isn't It's so interesting when we go
to therapy and we figure out how our childhood trauma
presents as adults and you're like, I'm not going to
do that, and I'm not going to do that, and
I'm not going to do anything that is maybe unsafe,
and then it's in the unsafe where you kind of
learn the most and you have the most fun with yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah. So yeah, but that's why I missed it. That's
why it was fun to kind of like revisit. And
then Alan was just chuckling in bed last night just
watching all of it. He was just like, he was,
your voice is different. I'm like, I know, why is
my voice so high?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
But maybe that maybe the voice helped you get into
it right, you know?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I loved it. Okay, So we are an easy ten
minutes in and I think what we have to do
for the fans. I want to go through some like
Q and A, let's get into some stuff questions and
then do the episode because I feel like we have
too much to talk about to try to do them
all at the same time. Are you down? Just so
you just talked about Alan? Also footnote, So Megan Park,
(10:59):
you know who's married to Tyler Hilton for all the
friends at home, our beloved Chris Keller. Megan got these
hats made that say I've never seen One Tree Hill
because she'd never seen it, and she sent one to
Ash and I feel like Alan needs one too.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
One percent. And also yo, I mean I hate to
say it, but I never watched I know, I personally
never watched One Tree Hill, and I watched a couple episodes,
but then I didn't go back, and like, I didn't
even know Nathan and uh, I didn't know there were brothers,
like until like way later. I really just didn't do
(11:37):
my research before going on the show. I knew you,
I knew like, but I just yeah, I know, I
was so nervous. I remember working with you. I was like,
oh my gosh, she's so Sophia Bush.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Oh my god. Stop.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
But yeah, so I but yeah, Alan for sure because
he's never seen any of them, so yeah, until.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
That is so great? Yeah wait, so what what did
he think? What was the feedback?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
He he was like, you know, in his little cute
Scottish accent, he's like he really, He's like, yeah, babies,
like that was I get it. I get why people
like it so much. He's like, I got into it,
you know. So then, because he was asking questions about
the episode we were watching, He's like, so, wait, did
is there a love child with Nathan or is that
like she she actually lying? So I'm like, oh, you're
(12:19):
asking questions.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Interesting, You're into it, invested in the drama.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah, And he's like, okay, So I thought, then I
thought Colletti or you know, Stephen's character was with Mia.
What so I thought that was your boy So he
was like, how does what's the progression like? And so
he was he was definitely asking. So he liked it.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
I love it. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
And then he was just like you're so young, and
you know, he's like, you're cute.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I was watching yesterday to get prepped, and I'm on
the East coast and so Ash sat down to watch
with me. Our friend Sammy's here and she was like, wait,
but that's your boyfriend. Wait, you also dated this guy
in high school? Wait? Okay, has Brooke dated every boy
on the show? Okay? Wait. There were so many questions
and I was like, oh man, people, it's the exact
(13:04):
same feeling. You're like, oh, you really do want to
know who these people are. You want to understand their world.
And then the question that is the bane of my existence,
which doesn't relate to any of our characters, is everyone
who tunes in and later seasons goes, why is your
store so purple? I'm like, listen, I didn't pick it out.
It wouldn't have been my choice. I don't know what
else to say other than it was the early aughts
(13:25):
and people were really into lavender.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
It worked, It worked, it's fine, fine, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Okay, you and Alan got married in Scotland. Congratulations. How
long has it been? How is newly led life? Tell
us how you met your man?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
So he DMed me on Instagram's s not Yeah, he
slid into the dms, but he was. He's a football
soccer coach and so he was coaching in England and
at the time, you know, I'm divorced to have two kids,
and I had just had quite a fun summer and
I'm like, you know what, I just need a break
and I just want to just chill and U But
(14:18):
he was pretty persistent, and I told him if he
was ever in the States to come to Nashville and
you know, we can go out for a drink. And he, uh,
we were yeah, we were texting, and then he's like,
all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna be in Tampa, so
I'm gonna come. I'd love to take you out in Nashville.
So I was like, sure, I'll go out with you.
And then it was just like stepping into my own
(14:40):
Christmas movie. We was in November and the Christmas lights
were all up in the tree and he just like
turns around and his like dapper, you know, peak coat
and his like sexy Scottish accent, and I was like, oh,
I am so screwed. Yeah, and then you know, things
obviously progressed pretty quick from there and he moved over
in March. I was in gosh, I mean what April?
(15:04):
And then we had our baby in November and yeah,
and then we just got married on July thirteenth, twenty four.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Oh, it's so exciting.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Yeah, and he's I mean, he's a dream. It's it's been.
It's it's so beautiful now kind of where life is
at because I always there were so many questions like
why did this happen? Or how come I had to
go through that and like I you know, the struggle
that I had with my ex husband for seven years
and just like the back and forth you know, affairs,
and it's like it's it's so beautiful now to go okay,
(15:36):
I had to kind of walk this path, find me
through that path, and then find the absolute love of
my life who I just trust with everything, and he
how he loves my you know, my two kids has
now step kids is just it's so beautiful and like
they they now get to see what you know, true
love looks like and in a you know, a more
modern world, and it's just it's beautiful, and he's he's
(16:00):
so good with me, like he pushes me, but yet
he's very he's very protective, he's very loving, and we
just we have each other's back, and I just I
don't there's no there's no doubts because he shows up.
He says what he says, and he does what he does.
You know, he says what he does. So it's those
words and actions match, and it makes me then trust
him and not you know, freak out like I did
(16:21):
the last time. So it's just like it's a beautiful
and it's peaceful, and it's like I finally can take
a breath and just like have steady ground, and that's
just a joy.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I like, I love that you chose to say peaceful.
We've certainly like been through the Ringer together and in parallel,
and I didn't even realize for the longest time how
hard all the work felt. And I think when you
(16:51):
have to your point past betrayal to heal, you know,
very by the way well deserved trust issues, Like when
you've been through things that are so hard, I think
there can even be at least there was for me
this like subconscious desire to prove that that didn't change
you and that you can move past it. And when
(17:14):
you try to do everything right, it doesn't necessarily mean
that it's right for you. Doesn't necessarily mean that checking
every you know box off the list is going to
actually lead you to happiness or peace. And sometimes I
wonder if, especially because for us as performance artists, we've
(17:39):
been trained to like push through the pain, sing through
the sickness, act through the illness, whatever it is, because
you have to be a good team leader. And I
think that that can be really great in a team sport,
but isn't necessarily so great in your personal home life.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
And when you.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Stop like fighting through it and you find a person
you can rest with, like what a gift?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Yeah? So yeah, I mean there's there's that piece, and
then there's just there's a piece. There's a piece of
just so much safety too, not in like a settling
safety way, like he's just like I feel so safe
with him, and and with that is the support and
the love and everything else. But there's I've always kind
of feared things, and I don't have to fear anymore.
(18:26):
I don't have to fear of the abuse. I don't
have to fear of the betrayal. Like I get to
just feel safe in a beautiful way. And that's that's
a gift for sure too.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Well, yeah, when your nervous system gets to.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Relax, I know, I'm like, oh, well this is nice.
And so now I'm like with my ax, I'm like
thank you, Like, yeah, thanks, Yeah, it's good. You know.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
I think that's a really profound place to get to,
is when you can look at every thing that's ever
happened to you, every way someone betrayed your trust and go,
you know what, if that's what it took me to
get here and to just like lay it all down
and be willing to start over and be happy. Thank you.
Oh yeah, it's big. I'm just so happy for you.
(19:13):
So what is what is life like? Tell us what's
going on? I mean, you've you've been such a great
leader with your platform, like the things that you have
been willing to speak about and the journeys you've been
willing to take people on. I think I think people
don't always necessarily know what sort of courage and vulnerability
(19:34):
that can take. But you've modeled it really really beautifully,
and I don't know, like what what feels like next.
You know, you just talked about the movie you did
with Austin.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Yeah, it was so fun that came out, That came
out this summer, and it was it was so fun.
And that was a you know, that was a piece
on domestic violence, which you know obviously you know my
past with domestic violence. So to be able to kind
of change the script and I got to get the
power back through acting was a really powerful moment. Like
I never got to I got to see my ex
(20:08):
in court, but I never got to say anything. And
so this like I got to you know, change the
script with that, and so that was a really powerful
thing I got to this past summer and you know, uh,
this year, I mean my book, I'm still you know,
promoting the book that I wrote last year or the
next chapter. And that was you know, walking through a
really hard season of you know, divorce and getting through that.
And but really I've always put my joy and happiness
(20:33):
on a relationship and a man, and I really had
to go, okay, I have I forced myself to be
alone to find true happiness with myself. And that was
the hardest piece of my post divorce that I had
to walk through because I've always was like I am
happy when I am in a relationship, and I was like,
I have to break that cycle because I will never
be happy. He will never be enough or make me happy.
(20:55):
So I'm like, I got to find it. So I
think that was a you know, so I'm still you know,
working on ways of you know, still talking about that.
And obviously through my podcast wind Down has been you know,
a really we do like therapy Thursdays because obviously, I
think it's really important to talk about, you know, mental health.
So we have two episodes a week that we do,
(21:15):
uh and then you know, I'm just grinding and auditioning
and just trying to like my dream obviously is to
be back on a show watching these episodes again, and
I you know, I kind of fast forward through a
few more of the other ones and you know, getting
to one of the episodes and the season one of
the season finales was like like having that like camaraderie
(21:36):
again with like a cast, and like it's just like
like I miss it, Like I miss I miss showing
up and doing that and working, you know, and I've
gotten so close on some shows that have just been heartbreaking.
In this industry is so hard, you know, it's like, yeah,
I had one that I tested for, got pinned for,
and you know, working out all the stuff, and then
you get the call they're like they went with the
(21:58):
other one, other actress, and it's like it's just devastating,
you know, because you get so close and you're like, well,
I don't know when I'm going to be that close again.
But I'm for me, I'm just like, you know, I
support my kids, and I will always be working and
grinding and and a piece of that is like I
want to be giving back and working on charities and stuff,
but also you know, dream goals or yeah I get
(22:20):
back on a show, that's like my number one thing
is working towards that, and you know, just being the
best mom my kid because I've got three kids now,
and you know, my husband he's traveling a lot with soccer.
So it's just you know, it's a lot as you
know now with having littles around, and so it's you know,
it's a it's a responsibility. And for me, it's like
(22:42):
I just I want to I want to keep grinding,
but I have to you know, support supporting them, and
also like their childhood goes by so fast that I
want to be present in those moments too. Like there's
a lot of things that I've There was a movie
I didn't take this year because I didn't want to
go back to back movies because I'm like, I'm not
going to miss six weeks that kids. Like, that's just
I'm still a mom first and foremost.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, I know, it's like the grind changes and to
really realize how how everything you do models for them,
and you know, I think there's no way that you
go through like some of the things you and I
have been through, and you get to the other end
(23:26):
of it where you go, oh, I can see everything
that led me here. I see what I accepted that
I shouldn't have. I see that I didn't know my worth.
I see that I thought if I could build around
what might be missing, maybe the center would fill in.
Like whatever the aha moments are, you know, I and
(23:48):
I know you feel a lot of this, Like I
love my parents, but there was a whole lot I
didn't learn in my house that I'm finally coming to
terms with as an adult, and I cherish the fact
that we have such a good relationship and now we
can talk about a lot of the things that I
didn't necessarily understand as a kid. But when you realize
how early they get molded and how early they learn,
(24:12):
you know, what healthy love is, and that they matter
and that they deserve to be seen and heard and
all these things, it's like, yeah, shifts everything and I
get you know, when you're young, it's like you go, yeah,
we can do it all, we can have it all,
and then you become an adult and you go, yeah, maybe,
but not all at the same time. Right. And I
(24:33):
called one of my girlfriends who has two kids, and
I was like the fact that I ever with a
straight face, looked at you and was like, well, yeah,
why don't we just have dinner after the kids go
to bed like eight o'clock? Like excuse you, Yeah, if
they've gone to bed at eight, like you're asleep by
eight twelve, what are you talking about. It's just like
a crazy it's a crazy thing, and it's fun. It's
(24:54):
really special to watch you get to do all this,
navigate all this, and I love I love the fact,
even by the way that you're so open, like to
have written the book and to talk about what it
is to find that sort of piece in yourself and
then also to be like, just because I finally put
(25:18):
my own puzzle together, doesn't mean I don't have to
work on me.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Oh no, I go every two weeks to therapy, you know,
because it's things come up that trigger you from certain
things in your past. You know, that's the whole thing.
And what I think is cool about kind of you
and I too, is like I you've seen me go
on that boy Chase struggle and that like and it's
like there's so many times too, and like I can
reverse it and go man, you know, it's when I've
(25:44):
seen my friends kind of see what I was doing.
It's like you you can't do anything, you can't say anything.
They just person just has to go through it, you know.
So and it's kind of you know, you and you've
gone on your own path of how your childhood has
led you to walk different different roads. So yeah, you know,
and you just you find it out and then you
(26:04):
get to make the choice whether you're gonna succumb to
that or you're going to change it, and you know grow, So.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Yeah, it is, it's so it's so surreal. One of
the things that I love that you mentioned about even
carving out a space for that sort of growth on
the podcast, like what you do on wind down and
what you do on Thursdays. I just think it's more
powerful than you might even realize. The willingness to normalize growth,
(26:36):
to normalize learning, how to choose yourself, to say no
matter what it looks like on the outside, you don't
have any idea what's happening on the inside. You know,
the courage that it takes to share those things, I
don't know. I just I'm grateful that you do it well.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Like we're always going to get thrown things our way,
Like life isn't easy. It's hard. There's things that don't
make sense to us that we can be triggered from.
But also like just because I'm not in a you know,
my relationship now is is the healthiest model of a
relationship I've ever had, But there's still going to be
things that come in, like I said, like from my past.
So it's yeah, okay, how do I how do I
(27:16):
make sure that I communicate from the girl I am
now as opposed to the girl twenty years ago, because
I don't because I can. I can go back real
fast to her, and I can go in protective mode
and I can be an ass and I can be
mean with my words and I can like but that's
all like my protection and that's me trying to because
I get scared and you're gonna you're gonna leave me,
You're not gonna choose me, and so it's like I
go right back. So it's like, how do I like
(27:37):
take those moments to just like breathe and go, Okay,
he's not leaving me, he's not hurt, you know, So
it's like or and it's not just him, but like
just anybody. So it's like because I go straight into
like got to protect myself d up like and so
you know that's like those things like that is just
you know, continuing to work on that and then something
that else, you know, anything else that kind of comes
(27:58):
up is just like I just think that you can
always be growing, you can always be healing, you can
always be learning. And so if I'm because that's going
to make me a better parent too.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
So yes, please, I'm like you know, you know, back
when Oprah was on and she'd be like tweet it,
like I'm like put it up, but make it a billboard. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
I just I love it.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Well, we were having it was funny, there was and
it wasn't even because we haven't even had like an argument,
like we've you know, bickered a few times. But like
the other day, I had to I had to work
something in with We were just kind of walking through
something that I knew was possibly going to be triggering
for both of us, and so I was like, all right,
I'm going to tap into some therapy right now. I'm like, Okay,
(28:41):
what I heard you said was this? And I'm like,
is there anything I missed so that way, you know,
and then like and then what did you hear me say?
So it was just like and we had like the
most amazing conversation and like old school Janet, it would
have been probably like a big fight, you know, right.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Isn't that cool though, when you see yourself grow and
you're like, wow, I had that. I had that recently too,
like you know, the ringer of my early twenties and
like going from this tiny environment to college, which you know,
in two thousand, like I felt like I was on
the side of can't hardly wait or something like it
felt like a rom com. And then to be on
(29:30):
our show, which was such a highlight, but to like
get chewed up the way women were in that early
ATS era in the tabloids and whatever, and by the way,
to have all these other people project someone else's behavior
like onto me, and I was like, make the person
who did the behavior answer for it, Like I don't
want to answer for it. Stop asking me about it.
(29:51):
Like it was really traumatizing as a young as a
young person, and it was hard to go through it
so quickly as our show, oh you know, was new
and whatnot, and like recently I felt that part of
me get triggered. That was like, leave me the fuck alone,
back off stop And I was like, oh whoa like
(30:13):
that old wound, like that pain, that twenty two to
twenty three year old version of me needs adult me
to hold her and let her know that even though
she was very alone then and the adults in the
room were incredibly terrible to her and made a lot
of this stuff worse, Like I'm the adult in the
room now. But I was like, wow, it's been a
(30:34):
while since since I saw her. It's been a while
since I let her drive the car right, and like, okay,
really important to check in and be reminded that, like,
it's okay to say it's hard to do what we do.
It's hard to be one little human on the receiving
end of millions of people's feedback. It's understandable that that's tough.
(30:56):
Let's change our relationship to it for a while, let's
set better boundaries around it. Yeah, it's an interesting thing
as an adult to start reparenting, you know, your younger selves,
because you carry them around in you like little nesting
dolls forever.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Well that and like you just the age of you know,
when we started. When I started One Tree Hill, we
didn't have I didn't have an Instagram, and so god,
I wish I could. You know, there's Instagram has has
helped me support my children, and so for that, I'm
very grateful for that platform. And also it's been half
(31:32):
the reason why I'm in therapy with because of the
loud noises and the voices and the criticism and and
also you know, we're you know, I've I've faulted in
those areas too. Like I've been on the other side
of it too, and I'm like, wow, I was just
a total hypocrite.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Oh you mean you were a human. You were actually
a human was not perfect all the time like a robot.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Right, But it's it's just like everything is so multiplied.
And my therapist has really helped me work on because
I would sit and stew and read and like almost
like like be like, oh that I am that person.
I'm like, no, that's not who I am, and like
and so she was. She really helped me with not
letting the gas in. She's like, stop opening the window
(32:14):
to get the gas. Like She's like, you can't breathe.
He's like, why are you You're literally letting the toxins
in when you open the window. She's like, you are,
and you are doing it. She's like, I'm not opening
the window for you. You're allowing the window to open.
And I'm like, yeah, well but you don't understand and
it's hard and you like you but and like me,
I just like always want to like defend myself and
like prove that I'm not this person, because that's what
(32:34):
I've felt like I've had to do with my past abusers,
like prove that I'm not the reason like that I
should be hit or this that and the other and
so it's like, yeah, and I've and I don't know,
if you like you don't want to talk with that's
totally fine. But like when i've kind of you've obviously
had the other side of you know, the criticism and
online stuff too with other things, and it's like, how
(32:55):
you've is that why you kind of go offline a
little bit at times? Like I see you on there?
But then also like it's like how do you deal
with like that? Absolutely feeding into that that's people are negative.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
People are horrible, And what you realize is it's like
you just don't know. Like people who saw you with
your ex didn't know you were being abused. People who
saw me try to like build this life that I
believed in and that I always wanted have no idea
(33:27):
what it was like to go through the brutality of
a year of fertility.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
And social media does not know that inside walls, inside
the four walls, I don't know how.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Many years you struggle, yea, they don't know what you're going.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
To know any struggle. Alan always says, what's inside our
four walls, that's what that's what matters, and that's the truth.
We love Alan, We love Alan. It's just like my
steady calm like anger.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Rob calls me the president of the Jana Kramer Fan
Club Strong Queens, and I, I know you're clearly the
president of the Alan Russell Fan Club, but I would
like to be your VP and coacher. I got it.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
And can I be Ashley since she's kind of my
lesbian well she isn't kind of, she is my lesbian crush.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
So if I could just hi, thanks, girl, Absolutely come over.
We all need we need to like, we need to
get the family.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
We can talk football, we can do a double date
and we can talk well they you know soccer. You know,
I have to I have to say, I mean it's
real soccer, Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
It is like, it's so weird to me that we
have this incredible global sport that is played with feet.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
Does she call it soccer though, even though they it's
she's an American.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
It's it's like back and forth for her. She played
in Germany, she played in Sweden. Like she's done the whole,
the whole rigamarole. But it's very funny to me that
like in America, we're like, well, for the world, the
game with the feet is football. But here we throw
a ball around with our hands, and we'll call it
football because we decided. I'm like, who did who didn't?
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Double date? Coming soon they can just football football.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I can't wait. This has felt like therapy for me.
I'm madly in love with you. I have one million
more questions for you about our show, about Alex dupray
about I mean, every dreamy will maintain thing. So let's
go do seven oh six.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Hey, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Don't forget to leave us a review. You can also
follow us on Instagram at Drama Queen's ot.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
H or email us at Drama Queens at iHeartRadio dot com.
See you next time we all about that.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
High school drama. Girl Drama Girl, all about them high
school queens Forever.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
We'll take you for a ride at our comic Girl
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