LECRAE - A Journey From 'Beenie Weenies' to Grammys

Join Coline Witt in this powerful episode of *Eating While Broke* as she sits down with Grammy Award-winning artist Lecrae. Watch as Lecrae revisits his roots by cooking 'beanie weenies'—a nostalgic childhood dish made with pork and beans and hot dogs.  

In this heartfelt conversation, Lecrae opens up about growing up in a single-parent household, the absence of his father, and the challenges of navigating early fame. He shares his raw and inspiring testimony of hitting rock bottom, battling addiction, questioning his faith, and ultimately finding redemption and purpose.  

Packed with life lessons, inspiration, and humor, Lecrae’s journey is a testament to resilience and the power of faith. Don’t miss this compelling episode!  

-CONNECT WITH US:
Instagram: @eatingwhilebroke
Website: www.eatingwhilebroke.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:13):
This is definitely a laxative.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke.
I'm your host, Colleen Witt, and today we have a
very special guest. Grammy Award winning Lecree is in the building.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
I'm in the building, man, I'm in the building.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
This is extremely cool for me.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
I'm excited. This is cool for me too. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, I saw you you start getting into it.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, I'm excited. This is cool. Man. I had to, like,
you know, get to.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Come back to my roots a little bit. Yeah, and
see how this tastes after all.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
This time, after all, so how many years before you
tell us what the dishes? How many years has it been.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Man? Solid? Thirty years probably, geez. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah, Like for real, we're gonna see if your stomach
can handle this today.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all good. You know what
I'm saying, I'm not gonna go crazy. I'm gonna just
have a little bit of it.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
I'm like, this ain't really a cheat meal, so you
know what I'm saying, This is not cheating at all.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Fact, So why don't you go ahead and tell us
what you're gonna have us eating today?

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Okay, what we're gonna have today is we're gonna have,
you know, some pork and beans with the hot dogs.
When you put them together, you get what's called beanie weans.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
So we're gonna have the beanie weenies, you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
And then we got spinach, but not just any spinach,
the can spinish because my mama wanted to make sure
that I have my vegetables as a kid.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
So I ate vegetables out of a.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Can can spinish and canned corn whole hole hole green giant.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
So can corn, can spin and it was a whole
healthy meal.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
You get a little you know, carbs with your beans,
You get your protein, you get your vegetables, a little
carbs with the coin.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Hey we in there. And then just to be fancy
for y'all.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
I got a little brown sugar, just a little, but
it's that's something we wouldn't have did that.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
We didn't have no brown sugar to waste on them.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Okay, well we're not gonna use a brown sugar. We
want to take it all all. We want to we
want to feel it. We want to feel it. With
your stories, go ahead, start whipping it up.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Okay, oh easy, So we're gonna start right off the bat.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
By the way, I switch those out for turkey dogs.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Okay, well, you know that's your fancy you're doing fancy things.
So we're gonna just right off the bat.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
You know what I'm saying, You're gonna you're gonna cut
these down sides, So we gonna chop these down the
sides because you gotta, you gotta. It's gotta stretch so
you can't get a whole hot.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Dog in there.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
You're gonna feel like you got a lot of food.
But you just you know what I'm saying, We gotta
stretch it and they'll cook. They'll cook a little bit
faster when they.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Cut up like this.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
How often would you say you were eating this back then?

Speaker 1 (03:04):
This is normal?

Speaker 3 (03:05):
So this was I mean, just childhood, because you gotta
think one, I'm a latch key kid. So my mom
worked while I was at home by myself a lot.
So either a I had to be able to make
it myself or be she had to be able to
whip it up quick. She was tired. She came home
from work. So you know she's sometimes she worked two jobs,

(03:28):
so she just tired come home from work. She had
to just be able to whip something up real quick.
This is quick, and it's cheap.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Really cheap, so it's like super cheap.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
So we're not gonna do it them all because you know,
eat those turkey dollars later, you know what I mean.
You men want to eat that a little bit later.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
But then let's see here, this is the stove is
much faster than the one that I had growing up,
you know what I mean. But we're gonna we're gonna
just go low because I don't know how it goes.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
And then we just gonna skill it these boys up
a little bit and and get them cooking, and let
those you know, cook while os is in there cooking.
Then we'll we'll move on to the vegetable.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Bles, okay, And do you mix your vegetables your spinach
in your corner?

Speaker 1 (04:10):
No, separate, you know what I'm saying. Separate.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
I don't want like, I don't want them touching. So
you got two pots, you know what I'm saying. Now,
generally there's gonna be a little liquid in those cans.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, to drain them for you.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, so you know you want.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
A little bit, though you don't eat all of it,
just a little bit so you don't burn the bottom
of the food. You know what I'm saying. You don't
want it to burn. So I just took a little
water and just put it in there. Not too much
water because then obviously it takes the flavor out. But
you know you're gonna burn the bottom of the food.
And then with your spinach. So the way that my
mama got me was to watch Popeye the Sailor Man

(04:46):
cartoons yep, and then it.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Was Popeye spinach.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
So I didn't like vegetables, but she got me to
like them because of the Popeye was on the can
of spinach.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
So then I ate it.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
And by the way, I did not know till today
that I always thought it was a cartoon and that
was just how they convinced us to eat spinach. But
I did not know till today that Popeye's is an
actual spinach brand. You're spinach. I did not know. Oh yeah,
learn something every every day.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Now see, unless you buy like certain brands, it's generally unseasoned.
So even though I don't know, still sodium in there
some some reason, I don't know why, but unless you
buy certain brands on seasoned.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
So I got some season in the day.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
You know what I'm saying, But this is not this
is this is a little fancier, but it's still good.
It's to slap your mama. It's a little fancier. So
it's definitely gonna be tasty. So we were season that up,
but let's let it. Let's let it heat up a
little bit. We do some seasoning on that, and then
you got your can corn. Who ho, hold green giant.
You know what I'm saying, Put that caned corn in there,

(05:52):
or we're gonna have us some meal.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
We gonna we're gonna be good today. So take me
back to what was going on during this time of
pork and beans, spinach and corn.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
What was happening?

Speaker 3 (06:05):
So I would come home from school, just like elementary school.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
I come home from school. You know, my mom and
my pops separated.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
Really my pops, he he was he went down a
dark path.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
He lost his job, so then he went.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
Down a dark path, had some addiction issues. It didn't work,
and he wasn't able to be there for us.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
So you know, when it's just me and mom.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
She's young, she's in her twenties, so she's gotta kind
of figure it out. So she had it's like a
form of assistance, but not like welfare. But it was
like a form of of government aid c I. You know,
where they would allow you to get like a certain
certain things from the grocery store.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
You take it in there or whatever, kind of like
what wick is.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
So they don't know if they still have that, but
but up like food stamps kind of but not the
same because it's like for women with children type of vibes. Okay,
So she would get that and and then you know,
go to the grocery store. The unfortunate part about that. Fortunate,
but unfortunately some of the stuff was free from the government,
like powdered milk. Disgusting, you know what I'm saying, Like

(07:08):
powdered eggs. Discussed eggs, Yeah, disgusting. But then they also
had like this block of cheese that was amazing, So
I'm not mad.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
A the cheese cheese was great.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
You can hear a little sizzle, so I can smell
some stuff cooking too. So we in there, we're moving,
you know what I'm saying we're moving. Now, what I'm
gonna do to speak this process up just a little bit.
I'm gonna go ahead and add the porking beans, because
see I was trying to get them a little sizzle.
But we just gonna let it simmer. That's what we're
gonna do. Let it simmer. So we're gonna put the porking.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Beans in there. Oh yeah, this is gonna be right.
Oh this is gonna be right.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
We need a little bring back real memories for you.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
Absolutely. I mean I haven't eaten like this and forever,
but I'm.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Sure, well you you have children now, you don't ever say, hey,
I'm gonna show you what it was like.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
So let me tell you what's funny.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
During COVID, every thing was like on short supply, So
the luxuries are just going out and grabbing whatever and
expecting it to last.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Forever was not always there. You didn't know. We didn't know.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
So what I told my kids and my wife too,
I was like, Yo, I'm finna run and get all
the struggle foods that I got grown up, so we'll
have them in the worst case scenari Because we didn't
know what was gonna thought the world was gonna end.
So I got the can spinach, I got the can vegetables,
all of that type of stuff. But what I did
was I got the ramen noodles too. A lot of
people don't know how to do this, but I chopped

(08:32):
the ramen noodles up to what they like rice, and.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Then you put that in some oil, you let it
simmer up.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
It gets a little soft, and then you chop up
like some chicken or something like that, and.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Add some cheese.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
It's like you got like it's kind of like sturfries.
It's like riceeroni or something like that. It's amazing. I'm
telling a lot of people don't know about it, but
it's a little you get created.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
They loved it, really, they loved it.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
But I was like, it's it's it's it's too much
sodium in this, y'all can't y'all should not be eating
all of this.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
It's too much sodium in here.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
But now, isn't the sodium This is just a random
sidebar question, but isn't the sodium in the packet of seasoning.
It's not considered not in the.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
You know, you use the seasoning though.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah, yeah, but that's the key to the secret stirf.
I is it the seasoning I use.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
I would use some of it, not all of it.
I try to use half of the seat. I mean,
my son still would eat ram noodles to this day.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Okay, who doesn't love ram?

Speaker 1 (09:26):
You know what I'm saying. I still eat them to this day.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
Like I don't want my kids to feel spoiled and
entitled just because we have arrived outside of having to
eat the struggle meals. I still want them to, you know,
have an appreciation. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, Never
be too you, never too good for packingt Ramen noodles.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
You know what I'm saying, never too good, So.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Never too good.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
Now I know your testimony. I know I'm familiar with
some of your testimony. Okay, but I want the real,
real passenger seat of this testimony. So you and you
grow up in a single parent household with your mother.
Your father separates from you. Guys, how often are you
seeing him?

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Never?

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Never? For how many years?

Speaker 1 (10:09):
For all my life?

Speaker 3 (10:11):
So? I saw him once when I was about ten
or eleven. He had gotten a made some money with
some pharmaceutical sales. He came to see me gave me
what took me shopping, and then I never saw him again.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
And I was like, and I don't say that like.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
I never sew him again, but I mean just the
reality is, you know, he comes from a different era,
different generation. I think they have different struggles and just
kind of like dealing with the reality what he was
dealing with.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
I think he was.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
You know, his dad wouldn't have come to him and
been like son, I apologized.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
That his dad would have been like, well, that's what
life does. Keep it pushing.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
So how did you feel as a growing up with
him and then him disappear? Did that crazy?

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Some kid? I didn't really get to know him. So
he left when I.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Was like three, oh with three later.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
Nah, I didn't really get to know him. He left
when I was three.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
I saw him again at ten, and then I didn't
see him again until I have never sat down and
had a conversation with my I had my first sit
down conversation meal with him in twenty twenty, so like
five years ago. Wow, first time we ever interacted for real.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
So that was it was eye opening, you know.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
But you know, I'm at a stage in my life
where I'm not I'm not a boy who's missed out
on having a father.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
I'm a man who had to become something that he
never had, you know what I'm saying. So you just learn.
It's a lot of wounds.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
You learn to deal with those wombs and then you
know you you grow from it. And so I wouldn't
be able to sit here and cook Beanie Whenie's.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
If I hadn't gone through some of the Yeah, the struggles.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
But did you face that? INTI your battle of like
wondering what happened? Did your mom have those conversations with you?
What did that look like?

Speaker 1 (11:58):
She didn't have a conversation. She didn't have But now
she's a brilliant woman. Back then she was young. She
just didn't have the tools and the skill set to know.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
Put a little bit of this slappy my mom here
in the meantime you talk about MAMAE me think put
some slappy my mown and it's real quick. Put a
little bit on the corner too, just hit it with
you know what I'm saying. But she didn't have the
skills to know how to talk to me about those
types of things. She was young, So I didn't deal
with the struggle that I had from not having my

(12:28):
dad in my life until I got much older. Like
it did cause a lot of trauma for sure, you
know what I'm saying, because I don't think I would
be successful if my dad was in my life, being
honest with you, because my success is really because of
the trauma. Like I wanted to be approved of, I
wanted to be desired, I wanted to be wanted, and

(12:49):
so I just kept achieving so people would see me,
people would accept me, people.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Would want me.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
And I don't do that now, Like that's not why
I'm successful, but that's what was driving my success as
a younger person, you.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
So it was that fuel in that well, I got
to become somebody, and who am I unless I'm approved of?
And so now you know, for me, I know God
approves of me, God loves me.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
So I'm I'm good.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
But as a kid, oh man, it messed me up,
and I didn't realize how bad it messed me up,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, yeah, So now let's go to the next pivotal
milestone as we inch towards where you're at today. Okay,
what was that next pivotal thing that happened in your
life that either led you towards music.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, you know, so I started rapping as a kid.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
So the other thing about it was my mom because
she was a single parent and she had a lot
on her shoulders. I mean she had she you know,
she had boyfriends. She ended up getting married again that
didn't work out, but.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
It was it was kind of chaotic.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
So I would stay with my grandmother for months at
a time and stay with my grandmother. My grandmother's house
was like a hotel, you know, like all the family
members would come stay there. So every time I would
go stay with my grandmother, I would stay for like
three months at a time, four months at a time.
And when I was stay with my grandmother, people would
come and my cousins came who were older than me,

(14:15):
and they it was late one night, I was probably
about six or seven, and they were up watching TV
and I was like, what are they watching? I should
have been in the bed, but it was rap videos
and so I was like what is this?

Speaker 1 (14:32):
And I was like blown away.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
Watching it over their shoulder and they said, Hey, what
you doing in here? But then they said come on
in here, and I.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Just fell in love.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
I stayed up after that every night watching rap videos.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
So I fell in love with.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
Rap music probably like seven eight years old, and about ten,
I was writing my own.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
I was trying to impress the girls in the neighborhood.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (14:55):
I remember writing a song to this girl, Trina. It
was like training Trina. I won't dishha, I won't treat
you like aisha like it was.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
It was just me trying to But that's really what
birth something in me to like pursue the music, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
So what do you think about about the rap music
in particular that really pulled at you at the time.

Speaker 3 (15:23):
I think it was like I could see, I could relate.
I saw pictures of myself. I saw like Tupac was
my favorite rapper as a kid. And the reason why
is because he told these honest stories about his life
and his life It felt real and authentic, and he
told stories about not having his dad, he told stories
about his pain, He talked about just the drama and

(15:43):
the trauma that he experienced. And I was like, man,
he's telling my story like somebody's telling my story and
I just connected, you know, in a deep way because
of that, and so I just feel like, I don't know,
you know, because of that, Tupac was like a hero
to me, like almost like the dad I didn't have
in a lot of ways. Yeah, I just wanted to

(16:05):
try to take after that and write music that was
from the heart I And that's Anotherother thing is Tupac
as a kid in er Kabadu as a kid. Strangely enough,
I remember both of them like spoke to like they
were speaking from like a deep place, even though I
didn't understand what it was, but it just made me
feel like, oh, they wanna change people.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
Laurence Hill too.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
It was like, y'all wanna help people with your music,
And I was like, I wanna do that.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
But I did. I didn't know how, and I didn't know.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
I didn't have a relationship with God really at the
time either, So I didn't even understand any of what
was gonna be my future.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
Did you grow up in any type of religious type
household whatsoever? Mom, Grandma?

Speaker 3 (16:45):
So the funny thing about it is my mom grew
up in church. She hated it because it was so religious.
She couldn't wear makeup, she couldn't wear pants, she couldn't
go to like sporting events like all of this.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
I know it was crazy.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
It's like religious cult like type of but you know,
she was raised like they were from the country. They
didn't know, like they're not really educated, so they just
like mixing like superstition and religion together. So my mom
just was like, I don't want you around all that stuff.
Be a free thinker, think freely. So I didn't really.
I wasn't raised in church. We didn't go that much.

(17:22):
I would go when I was with my grandmother. My
grandmother was big into the church, but I didn't understand
what was going on. It was just like shopping and
clapping and singing.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, but I did see her lifestyle and that was inspiring.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
Her lifestyle was like feed the homeless, take care of people.
We would drive cause this is in southern California, so
we would drive to Tijuana and just go up into
Mexico in the mountains and she would like bring food
and feed people. I'm sitting here talking about the Messa's
food up.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
Wait, I didn't know you were from La La.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
I thought you, Yeah, so well, I saw.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
So we stayed in southern Cali, but then I also
in Texas as well. So I would go, you know,
back and forth Texas, southern California, even Denver, Colorado, so
back to southern Caulty.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
So so we would go to Mexico.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
We would You know, my grandmother she didn't she just
she her character was dope, you know what I'm saying.
She wanted me to have a relationship with God, but
she didn't know. She wasn't like educated and all of that.
She just knew the Lord.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
So she was like I was like maybe five, and
she was like, do you love God? I was like, yeah,
I think. So she's like, all right, We're gonna baptize
you in the ocean, you know what. I didn't know
what's going on, you know what I mean. So it
was an interesting dynamic.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yeah, and then when would you go around your mom
and then ask like questions maybe per se not.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Really because to me, religion just seemed like Grandma's like
kind of like backwoods country.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Stuff, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
It was like, eh, my mom was like big on education,
made me read books and you know, stuff like that.
So you know, let me tell you something funny as
we're making this. I have eaten this a million times.
I've never I don't think i've ever made it. I
made it, I made a spinach. I don't know if

(19:15):
I've ever made this. I've eaten it a million times.
I don't know if I've ever made it. Maybe I did.
You know what I probably did in a microwave. That's
probably what I did. I probably put the hot dogs
in the microwave.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
And now is that you're realizing that because you're looking
at it and you're like, I don't know if this
was is supposed to.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Look it don't look I don't remember looking like this,
but I'm thinking of it.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
And I was like, you know what, because I didn't
really make it. My mom made it pretty most part.
But I think I put it in a microwave. I'm
pretty sure I put it in a microwave.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah yeah, I mean, especially if you said you've been
cooking it from very young. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I feel
like her trusting you with the stove.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
Nah, I put everything in the microwave. I sure did.
I was a microwave baby microwave. But I can cook though, Okay,
I mean I can cook. What I can cook, Okay.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
I'm not gonna say like, if if I know how
to cook it, it's gonna be good.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Ok That's what I'll say.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Because we had garlic powder back, that we had onion
powder backs all these seasons. He grabbed the slavy o mama.
Guys trying to judge, But that's like, if you can't cook,
trust in this, Oh.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
For sure, Oh for sure, then that then that being
the case, I cannot cook because slapyr Mama does the
work for me.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
For sure.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
Slappy Mama doesn't work for me. Yeah, my wife can cook,
I'm not. I mean I can grill, though, play.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
With me on the grill.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
I love how you're slowly walking it back because.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
I'm saying I can cook what I can cook.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
I can fry some chicken, I can make spaghetti okay,
I can make burritos and tacos okay.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
And then I can grill everything else.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Okay, you know what I'm saying, Some vegetables, some sides, gotcha.
So when you were first saying that you would spend
time with your grandma in between your grandma and your mom,
I just assumed they lived close together. No, so you
would get on a plane and.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Go for like since a little kid. So that was
a crazy thing too.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
It's like I'll fly by myself, like she would work
two jobs and then pay half the ticket. My grandma
may pay the other half of the ticket, and then
I would hop on a plane by myself since a
little kid.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Like.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
So I remember flying with the flight attendant, playing like cards.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
With 'em, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
But I would stay for months at a time, so
it really wasn't like a couple times we drove, but
like very.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
Few, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
But yeah, I remember that like and I loved it.
The only the reason why I didn't stay. I remember
around fourteen, the gang started taking over and the gang culture.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Started pulling me in a little too strong.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
So my mom was like, hey, it's we gonna change
the scene up. You know what I'm saying, It's time
to change stuff up. And I kicked and screamed, I rebelled.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
But was your attitude at home slowly starting to shift
a little bit? They were pick it.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Oh yeah, my attitude at home. I mean the clothes
I was wearing, the rags hanging out of my pocket,
the graffiti in the in on the streets getting brought
home by the police.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, you and your grandma called it.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
In No, I would get my My grandma was kind
of oblivious to it. So my uncle's my uncle was
like a a a reputable gang member in the neighborhood.
So I followed after him a lot. He was like,
like my dad. He's only ten years older than me,
but he was like my dad. So he's like, you know,
this is what this is, this is what that is.
I ain't gonna say all the things he showed me,

(22:32):
but he showed me a lot of things that you know,
you just typically don't show a kid. Yeah, And from there,
you know, I just started to move down that path.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
And my mom saw.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
That and she was like, this is not what I
want for you. So then she moved and then I
and it was like, I c I didn't go back
to California again.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
For probably good gracious I was. I was in Texas.
I probably didn't go back from fourteen till nineteen.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
Wow. She was like, this is not happening for you.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Pivotal time.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
No fourteen, good job, mom, shout out to you. Yeah
for real, Yeah, so you go back to Texas? How
are you feeling Texas? Are you coming with that same attitude?

Speaker 1 (23:16):
I tried. But here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
She got remarried and he got a good job, right,
and so we moved to a nicer area.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
We didn't have a lot of money, we didn't have
any furniture, but we lived in a nicer area. So
it was kind of like.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
That type of energy was weird, you know what I'm saying,
Because it was like, it's like, why are you trying
to be the toughest.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Dude in a nicer area? You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
It's like, why are you trying to be the hardest
dude in Pasadena?

Speaker 1 (23:45):
You know what I'm saying? Like what's going on here?
You know what I'm saying. So that's kind of what
it felt like.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
And so I just I kind of started thinking about it,
and just I was around different types of people, like
folks who were trying to do something with their life.
And on a street narrow, a lot of the kids
were talking about going to college, and I was like, man,
you know, it was kind of like, you know, like
changing my perspective. So I started to mature being around that.
And then I had teachers who actually cared about me,

(24:12):
and they weren't, you know. So my first year I
failed everything almost I.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Had, like I failed almost every class.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
But then as I kept progressing, I would do better.
Teachers cared about me, invested in me. And one teacher said, man,
you got a gift in you know, like acting, and
she was like, you should pursue this, and so I
actually I pursued it. I started, you know, getting involved
in like school plays, and which is weird.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
I was embarrassed. I didn't tell anybody, you know what
I'm saying, because I was like, you.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Didn't tell anybody as in family members.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
No, like people in my friends in the school, because
I was the plays weren't performed. We only did one
play in front of the whole school, and I was
embarrassed about it. But I was like, it's all good.
I just I'm gonna do it. But but I but
I knew I had something because everybody was like, you
got something. And then and they encouraged me to audition
for a scholarship and I did it on a whim

(25:05):
and got a full ride.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Are you serious? And just to backtrack with your stepfather
at the time being a provider, was your mom more
hands on with you. Would you say during that era she.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Still had to work. She worked a lot still, but
she was home more. For sure, she was home more.
She still had to work, she was home more.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
You know.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
He was really traditional. He was kind of like they weren't.
It wasn't like a healthy environment. It still was like
you know how they say you could take them out
the hoods, You can't take the hood out of them.
So it's like it's like, yeah, you went from Compton
to Pasadena, but you still brought Compton with you to Pasadena,
and so still like some stuff in the house wasn't bad,
you know, it wasn't good.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
So that obviously that relationship dissolved. But yeah, man, I
think she.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
You know, she's always been solid, just been stamped.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
She's a fighter, she's a grinder. That the spirit of hustle.
She put that in me. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Now, were you still doing rap music at that time
during like the whole acting error too?

Speaker 3 (26:09):
I was, but I kind of put it on the
back burner, you know, and I put it on the
back burner.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
I started.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
I'm in school right now, so I'm acting and I'm
rapping on the side. I'm doing a lot of stupid
stuff on the side.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
If I'm being honest with.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Let's talk about the stupid stuff just a little bit.
You're trying to get the whole testimony, and I gotta
story testimony with you.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Okay, Okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
You can.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
Okay, I'm gonna serve you up. Let me hold on.
Let me see my little business line out.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
I was the whole time. I was like, I wonder
if no, no.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
No, I take my business line out real quick. Okay.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
So here's the thing, though, I gotta sample it, make
sure it's like I got sample it to make sure
it's right.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Because there's not too much a slap your moment.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
I don't trust.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
I don't trust that it's gonna be just right unless
I sample it myself.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
You can't really mess with corn, can you.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
I mean, you're not supposed to be able to. But
mm hmm, it's it's not slipping. But it's cool. It's cool.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
I told him that I was gonna judge it, so
he's putting extra you know.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
Now, this I didn't season at all. This is this
don't look like my mama's.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
It looks is it too saucy?

Speaker 3 (27:29):
It looks it looks very get hurt. No, I mean,
it just looks like it got too hot at the bottom.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
But it's all good. We're gonna we're gonna burn it.
I didn't burn it, but definitely.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
Here I'm gonna slide.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
It's definitely not like you know what I'm saying me.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Get you it's hot dogs in there.

Speaker 3 (27:47):
Yeah, I don't know how hungry you are, giving you sample, give.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Me sample size. You want to save my stomach just
in case.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
I mean, nah, I think it's gonna be straight, but
you know, you never know, you ever know.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
There we go.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
I had Beanie weenies at first.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
And then cool. Now the stoves turned off. You can
getting closer to this, mica.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
Okay, bam bam, make sure it's off. All right.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
Here we go, guys, we're gonna sample spinach first.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, now about the spinach. Like I said, I didn't
put the butter on youre like I should have. But
you know it's all good.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
That's good.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, what I'm saying. It gets a job done.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
Your mom said it was it was better than the
Did you say it was better than by the way
he phoned his.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Mama, I did. I had to. I had to hit mama.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
Spinach is good. Yeah, no, no, I think I like the
believe he spinach.

Speaker 1 (28:37):
I do too. Year that up.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
Yeah, because this is like extra muskey. Yeah, this is
the pork and beans, not baked beans.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
Guys.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
Mm hmm, good, great job. It's the only thing you
didn't season.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
I didn't do anything to this, but I never have
season this my mama, and I don't think she sees it.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
It's really good with the hot dogs, all right, corn,
But I would have put butter.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
In that too.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Now I notice he doesn't mix his stuff up at
all in real life too.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
Not no, not really, I can, but I don't. I'm
kind of like OCD like that.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Corn is phenomenal. All right, guys, look break and good.
You know, as long as you have slapped your mom
in the kitchen, he could cook. I'm just messing with it, right.
This is a great dish, and you know what, I
would just mix it all together on one four.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
There you got. You can do that. I mean, that's
nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Look at that.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
Yeah, what the funny thing about you?

Speaker 2 (29:45):
This is a great dish. It works, and it's affordable.
So if you guys are pursuing your dreams out there.
They're going through hard times. This is a totally fine dish.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
You know, It's funny because when I, like I was
telling you I was doing a bunch of stupid stuff
and I wouldn't. It's funny because I was. I was
I was fake rich because I was making money fast
the wrong way.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Oh that's what type of stuff.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Yeah, making money fast the wrong way and hustling and
doing dumb stuff.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
But in a good neighborhood you were doing that?

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Well really, really what happened? So this is the funny
part about it is I should have seen opportunity. Instead
I saw a lick.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
I saw like, oh, victims, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
So it was kind of like I took advantage of that,
and it was like, y'all people, it's it's car doors
that are unlocked, Like y'all are crazy, Like that's my opportunity.
And then you know, I just saw I was just
always looking for opportunities. That's one thing I will say
is like I was looking for opportunity. I've always been

(30:56):
that type of person, like where's the opportunity for me
to do what I need to do. I just was
doing it in the wrong way, you know what I mean. So,
so I remember I moved out. I moved in with
my friend. This was I was going to drop out
of school and moved in with my friend and we
were doing some stupid stuff and I go, So what

(31:18):
I would used to do is I would throw these parties.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
I would get a bunch of high school kids.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
I'm fresh out of I'm in college, like my second
year in college or something like that.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
So I'm like twenty out of college. Yeah, out of college. Okay.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
I was like, what happened?

Speaker 3 (31:32):
So I'm promoting these parties. And what I would do
with the parties was when you come to the party,
I will sell you some things when you get to
the party, you know what I mean. And that's kind
of how I would move. So I was, you know,
we were promote these parties. You make all this money.
You got thousands of dollars on you one night, we

(31:53):
made all this money. And then we get outside after
the party's over at the windows because we have put
the money in the trunk and somebody had smashed through
the window, opened up the back of the cars the
seat figured out how to do that and took all
the money out the trunk.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
So, oh, I know what you do?

Speaker 1 (32:09):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Okay, yeah, I thought you were going to say they
the Nah, they.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Just came through the back and took the money out
the trunk. So now thousands of dollars are gone. So
now I'm like, man, you know that was really frustrating.
But I should have learned my lesson because at this time,
I feel like God was dealing with me.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
But I just wouldn't listen. I wouldn't learn my lesson.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
And then I go to the school that same week
and I'm going to pass out flyers. I got some
stuff in my car that I should not have in
my car, if you know what I'm saying. And I'm
in the school passing out these flyers and I see
the campus, like not the campus, but like the high school,
like security whatever you call the people that walk around

(32:50):
the high school. And they spot me, but I'm thinking
I blend in. I look young enough. I'm thinking they're not.
I'm blend in. But then he keeps walking toward me,
and I'm like, oh, shoot, let me get up out
of here.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Wait, this isn't you're going to high schools to do.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
I'm going to high school. So school gets out, so
I'm trespassed. All I'm all bad that line, I'm all bad,
but I'm not. I'm just thinking I've done it a
million times, so you just you're dumb. You're young too,
you're nineteen, You're dumb. So I'm on the campus and
then I'm trying to pass out the flyers and then
I see the officer looking at me and he's walking

(33:23):
toward me, and then so I just I cut out.
Well apparently I don't know how they did it, but
he had radioed to somebody else. So as soon as
I got out the door, the police were just sitting
outside waiting for me. So they was like, hey, you
can't be on school property. You don't go to the school.
And I'm thinking they're just gonna kick me out. That's

(33:44):
all good, you know, just let me, just let me go, man,
I won't come back. I won't come back.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
They said no.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
They cut me up. They put me in the back
of the police car. So then they go search my car.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
My goodness.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
Now the crazy part about it is in my car
I have things I should I have, and I also
have my grandmother the Bible. My grandmother gave me so
she gives me this Bible and it was like a
good luck charm. But at the time I had really
been trying to learn more about God and I was
reading through it, even highlighting underlining some stuff.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
So it was used, you see what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
So the police officer he comes back to the police
car and he's like, he's like, that's your Bible in
the car. I said yes, sir. He was like, you
need to stay in that Bible. I see you've been
reading it. I said yes, sir. He said, I need
you to stay in that Bible. I don't want to
see you no more. And I was like, okay. So
I'm thinking, oh, he didn't find the stuff. Thank god,

(34:39):
I'm free. He lets me out the car. I go
back to my car. The stuff is gone, the car
is running through but the Bible is sitting out there.
And so to me, it was like, all right, that
was my sign.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yeah, you know, I'm just curious a bat. What was
causing that little bit of curiosity into the Bible to
begin with.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
I think I was just going through a lot.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
I was depressed, I was going through hard times, had
a pregnancy scare with my girl at the time, and
I was just in a dark place, you know. I
had gotten into some some fights and just the money's gone.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
I'm thinking about dropping out of school. I was dealing with.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Depression and no, no, no, I didn't have pregnancy scare.
I got my girl pregnant and then I forced her
to get an abortion. Okay, you know what I'm saying.
So it wasn't even pregnancy scary. It was like I
forced her. I'm dealing with that. She was crying, she's
depressed about it. I was like, man, it was no
other way, you know. So my life just felt like
this is going downhill, you know, And it just felt like, man,
I'm just like what am I doing with myself? And

(35:43):
I felt like that was like almost like God saying,
I'm giving you another opportunity, you know what I'm saying, Like,
I'm giving you a second chance to like really turn
things around. And so I think for me, that was
a pivotal moment. I mean, now at this point in
time I had you know, it didn't all happen in
like order like this, but this whole season, Yeah, basically

(36:06):
what ended up happening to top it all off, Not
only does that happen, but then I just stumble into
a church. I'm like, young, I'm like, I don't know.
The people just started showing me love. I ended up
going back to the campus and then you.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Know, some young you know, Christian starts showing me love
as well, and I'm like, this is weird.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
But it was just a beautiful time where people embraced
me and just were showing me love and they weren't beat.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Me over the head with stuff, and it was just
it was just love.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
It was the family that I wanted growing up but
I didn't have because I was at home by myself
a lot of times.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
My mom loved me, for sure, but she had to work.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
No male figures ever showed me any love, said my uncle,
and he was going down a dark path himself. You know,
he's rehabilitated, thank the Lord. You know, he's on a
straight arrow now. And then my dad's not in my life.
So I just wanted a sense of belonging, you know,
to feel like I mattered. And this this community of
people show me that I that they loved me and

(37:05):
that I mattered. So I was open to listening to
what what y'all talking about? Like give me the God stuff.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Yeah, Now.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
As you got into the church, more were you exposed
to there's I love love, love, love love this story.
I was a later Christian. I'm Jewish and Jamaican, grewup
Jewish and Jamaican later Christians.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
So it's a lot of good food on your side,
both sides.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
I don't know about the Jewish side.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
They got that bread man. Bread is good.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Okay. But now, and I have to dig into this
a little bit because even when I first came to God,
there was like churches full of love, full of love,
and then you did have the churches that were very
rigorous in their like the upward Walk or whatever rules.
And then you get exposed to quote unquote you know
the I kind of compare the more to like the

(37:58):
the parent Pharisees and the and that that's a conflicting
thing to be exposed to. Did you get exposed to
all that in that in that error?

Speaker 3 (38:06):
And I didn't because it was mostly just the love,
because it was a lot of young people who see
The thing that that made me say I didn't want
to like really follow God is because I didn't see
people who look like me, just young people who just
like looked like me, was dealing with the same type
of stuff I was dealing with. But when I saw him,
I said, oh, well, if y'all can follow God, so

(38:29):
goodnight in you know.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
Oh, it went from like a grandma situation exactly like us.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah, the grandma's stuff and shout out to my grandmother.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
She's great. But I'm saying, like that idea of what
it looked like. I wasn't rocking with that. But when
I saw it meet me where I was at, it
was cool.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
Down the line.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
Yeah, I ran into more people who were like you know,
especially when I started doing music, when I changed my
music up.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
So now I changed my music and I start rapping,
and I graduate school, I get a job.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
It's crazy part I I couldn't find a job when
I graduated college. So I was a cableman, but I
was a hustler. So one time the vice president of
the cable company came in to talk to us all
and I said, hey.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
Excuse me.

Speaker 3 (39:18):
I got a degree and I was wondering this on
my off days, if I could just come in and
intern for free in the marketing apartment.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
And they was like, oh, we like this guy.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
So then I interned and it ended up hiring me
in the marketing apartment for this big cable company. Right,
so I'm working my nine to five at the cable company.
But then I'm also like making music and doing little
shows on the side. And every time I would do concerts,
you know, people would bring me out come to a
concert at my church or at this you center.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Whatever, And your music is now fully Christian at this.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
Point in time, Yeah, absolutely fully Christian.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
So now I'm like, I got little gigs here and there,
and I didn't know about the church because I'm I
became a Christian and started following God with a bunch
of college students, not like with a church group, you.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
Know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
So so I didn't know how the church rules were
and all that type stuff. So then I would start
going to these little spaces and they, you know, coming
in dress like I'm dressed, my tattoos, I got my
hat cocked to the side. This is back in like
the dipset arrow with the do rag hanging down, you
know what I mean, And they like, you gotta take
the hat off of here.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
And I was like, huh, what was you talking about?

Speaker 3 (40:26):
You can't wear hatt in this building and then it
was like, hey, you said, God is not pissed off
at you. You can't use that type of language here.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
And I was like, what you know? So I didn't.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
That's when I started running into that like very churchy
religious world.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
And did that provide any confliction in there?

Speaker 1 (40:45):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (40:45):
Yeah, but not immediately because immediately at first I was
like I'm wrong with y'all. But I think as I
got further in my career and I really started to
take off, I started.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Doing really well, you know.

Speaker 3 (40:59):
And I think the reason why I started doing well
was because I wasn't from the church, you know what
I'm saying. Because I could connect with the average everyday people.
So church people like what I was doing, regular people
who wasn't following God like they was like, that's kind
of dope, Like it sounds like I had.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Even some of my homeboys would be like, you sure
you want to just do this for God? Bro? You dope?

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Bro? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (41:22):
You could really blow up. And I was like, Nah,
this is the path I'm on.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
But as my career kept going upward and more upward
and upward, and God just kept blessing me. I think
I became so trusting because I didn't grow up with
a family. I became so trusting of all of these
quote unquote church folks, and I was like, oh, we
all are family. And I let my guard down, which

(41:47):
is okay, sometimes you gotta let your guard down. But
I let my guard all the way down to where
I started finding my identity and my worth and how
much they loved me and not how much God loved me.
So when they start tripping on me.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
It got dark, really dark to where I was.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
Like, maybe I'm done with God because they tripping.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
And how far into your career was that?

Speaker 1 (42:19):
This is like.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
Probably ten years in so ten years I'm going crazy.
Ten years Like bam, bam bam. This is a build up,
you know. And I think it like we eating this
struggle meal.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
This is like if you never forget.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
Where you came from, you can go further. It's when
people forget where they came from. People forget how to struggle,
People forget the power of broke when you broke, and
all you got is this You got to figure out
how to make it work, you know what I mean.
So that was what was making me rise, was because
I would get to a certain level, and everybody was
expecting something differ and they be like, oh, you you

(43:01):
don't You're not gonna And I'll be like, no, it's cool,
we'll figure out, we'll make it work.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Hey, we don't have this, Okay, it's cool. We'll figure
out what make it work.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
And people just was like, oh, we got to have him,
we got to use this, we got to do that,
and people want to work with you.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
So I think that's part of what happened for.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
Me was over that ten year span of time, I
just kept rising, rising, rising, because I never looked at
myself as having arrived, and I saw so many other
people they're like, oh, I made it.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
Yeah, you know, especially in today's there if they get
like ten thousand followers have arrived, like your bank account says.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
I still don't. I don't feel like I made it today.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
You know what I'm saying, Oh yeah, yeah, you made it.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
Nah.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
But I'm saying that's the power of broke.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
It's just always I'm grateful, I'm content, but I always
feel like I think the other thing is if you've
been here, you're always afraid you're gonna be back here.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
That's a real thing.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah. Something.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
Now, I've interviewed some people that are like, what's worse.
I've already done it. I've done the syrup sandwich. You know.
So I go back, you know, and I'm.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Like, I cannot be back.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
I honestly think it's the entrepreneurs that more lean that way.
They're like a gamble again. No, you almost went back
during COVID.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
I mean I could go back to trying it, but
I could if I have to, I will if there's
nothing else I can do.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
Cool, but I will exhaust myself.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
I will go work at the post office before I
go back.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Like where this is survival? I said, right, this is
where you're like, I don't want this to be. I
under I think a lot of people that have gotten
to where you've gotten to. It was like please please
please please, no no no, I would never listen.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
Man. It was a couple of young artists. I remember
this like twenty eighteen. I'm on the road with these
young artists and they had a viral hits.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
The song was big.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
This is when I was signed to Columbia and we
was like on a radio tour. So you know, I
got the song out. Tie Dollar Sign is blown up
I'm on doing radio tours and I'm on a tour
with these young artis. Ain't gonna say their names, but
they had a big hit and were backstage and their kids,
you know, like, and I see them with this one
hundred thousand dollars worth the jewelry on and so I'm

(45:15):
just trying to be big bro. I'm just like, I'm like, man,
y'all jewelry crazy, Like, yeah, bro, we spend one hundred
racks on this. And I said, oh, that's what's uping, man,
Where y'all stay at? Are we staying such as these
apartments and such and such and such and such. I said, okay, man,
y'all definitely should get y'all some property. Bro, you know,
buy buy something, because you know, you spend all your

(45:36):
money on the jewelry and stuff and then you don't
have anything to show for it.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
And it was like, na, we just make another hit.
It never came. It never came.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
Think is that? I think when you pawn in those
some of those jewelry, especially when they're custom, they're not
worth anything. Like when they do the custom, you know,
when someone has like their name.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
And the colors, they lose value. Yeah, they lose immediately.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
So that's what I'm saying. I don't like, I don't
want to go back. I'm not going back your money.
Who absolutely, I can't go backwards. Can't go backwards, like
not all the way back? Yeah no, Like uh uh,
I can't be on stages rapping.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
For Beanie Weenie's. We can't. We can't do that. No,
it's not what we want.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
So during the periods of where you're in a your
your career is doing well, but now you're starting to
question things. What is pulling you out.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Of that the darkness?

Speaker 3 (46:33):
Good friends, for one, you just I always have friends
who kept usided with me.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
Sometimes it was hard, especially.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
When you know you win in Grammy's you're making a
lot of money. Your friends like don't know, it's weird
for them because they're like people want your autograph or
take a picture, and it's like that's weird.

Speaker 1 (46:54):
You just you, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
But the good part about that was they never looked
at me like wow. They always just saw me as you,
just you. So when I was going through stuff, they
could keep it real with me and they could just
be there and they weren't like coddling me and being like,
you know, they would just keep it real, like, hey, man,

(47:17):
this is where you dropped the ball at, this is
where you tripping at, this is where you probably need
some help at. And good friends. My best friend is
my wife for sure. Without her, oh my gosh, man, I'd.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
Have been cooked cooked.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
So she kept it solid and she was like because
I told her, I said, Man, I don't know what
I believe right now. I'm not doing no Bible studies
with kids, none of that type of stuff. I'm just like, yeah,
I was like, I don't I don't know what I
believe right now.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
And to be honest with you, I was kind of like,
if God ain't real, marriage is just the institution.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
Oh wow? And so why did I.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Even do this? You know what I'm saying. I'm like
trying to rethink. I'm just pulling up all the stuff.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
So the relationship you had with the church folks or
whatever starting to cause this little these cracks, right, what
makes it go to the point where you start to say, well,
if God isn't real?

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Though?

Speaker 3 (48:17):
Because I felt like, because what it was was people
hurt me, but I blame God. You see what I'm saying,
God's people hurt me, but I blame them God instead
of his people, you know what I'm saying. So that
was really the thing is like I trusted y'all, looked
up to y'all. Y'all gave me all the right answers,
you pastors, you leaders, you told.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
Me this was this and this was this.

Speaker 3 (48:36):
But then when I got some questions about stuff, or
when I do something that y'all don't like or y'all
disagree with, you turn your back on me, or you
talk crazy about me.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
So I'm like, well, what can I trust that.

Speaker 3 (48:49):
Comes out your mouth exactly? You know, That's what I
started thinking. But then I was like, you know what,
even the clock is right two times a day. So
it's like, y'all were right about God. Y'all are wrong
about the way you're treating me in this season. You
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Oh, I like that in this season too. Yeah, So
that I guess that for forgiveness.

Speaker 3 (49:09):
Forgiveness growth, for them to have they perspective, and a
lot of people to come back and apologized, A lot
of them have a lot of them are like, bro,
I was tripping.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
I didn't understand it. I didn't see it. You know.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
So a lot of people came back and some of it.
Some of it had to do with you know, I
feel like politics crept into the church and just turned
everything upside down. So if you didn't agree with somebody politically, it.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
Was like, oh, you out of here.

Speaker 3 (49:35):
Or if you cared about issues of justice, but they
felt like this is a political.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
Thing, it's like, nah, I just care about people, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
They're like, ah, that person's a criminal. You shouldn't care
about the let them. And I'm like, yeah, that sounds crazy.
So they're like you sound crazy, and now it turns
into a fight.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
I was like, I can't deal with this.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
What does your wife say during this whole period of
questioning that kind of helps you.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
I think it's not what she said, it's what she did.
She just stay solid, you know what I'm saying. She said,
I'm just gonna pray for you. She's like, I'm just
gonna pray for you. And she just prayed, stay solid
and prayed and wasn't like. She was like, I don't
have an argument. I don't have the energy to go
back and forth with you arguing. I'm gonna pray. I'm
gonna talk to your friends. I'm gonna hope that, and
you know, my friends would come talk to me. And

(50:24):
then I think too, the other biggest thing was, honestly,
I feel like it was just sometimes you get so
close to the stove. You like, man, that stove ain't hot,
you know what I mean, It's not hot. It's definitely
not hot, and then you burn yourself so bad that

(50:44):
you're like, okay, okay. And I think that's part of
what happened to me too, is I burn myself so
bad because now because now I'm back, once I start
questioning stuff, all I know is to go back to
where I came from.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
Where did I come from?

Speaker 3 (50:56):
I came from drugs, I came from being in the streets.
I came from doing figuring out how to hustle. So
I'm now I'm thinking through, if I'm not gonna do
this Christian rap thing, what kind of hustling am I
gonna do?

Speaker 1 (51:06):
You know?

Speaker 3 (51:06):
And I'm depressed and I'm tripping, and I'm drinking now
a whole lot, and I'm popping Xanax.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
And I'm just like spiral this whole period.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
Yeah, oh my, I'm.

Speaker 3 (51:16):
Just going downhill. So I woke up in a depression.
And that's when it was like a clinical depression. That's
when this stuff was too hot. It's like, oh, it's
too hot, and I'm addicted to these pills. And I'm
waking up in a panic and I'm like, oh, I'm
I'm tripping, and you know, I blame myself, But at
the same time, I feel like the enemy was just

(51:39):
putting stuff around me to make it worse. So it's
like I'm trying to find a doctor to go talk
to about a prescription.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
I can't find one. But then I find like.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
A pill farm on accident. It just so happened to
be a pill farm around the corner. And then this
is a doctor doctor and he like, yeah, take two
of these, man, you feel good.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
I'm like addicted. Yeah, you know what I mean. So
it was just a process, man.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
And how long did that process take?

Speaker 1 (52:08):
I would say this was it was an ongoing battle
for two years. Wow, it's a two.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
Year battle, from like twenty sixteen to twenty eighteen. I
was just in a battle, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
It would be like.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
It would be like six months, I don't care about nothing,
nothing matters. And then one month, I'm like, all right,
I'm tripping, and then it'd be like three months, No,
I'm not tripping.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
This is stupid, man. One month, maybe there is a
God and you know, so.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
Just eventually you pick up the Bible again or yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
So what happened was in that depression, I'm in a
very low moment and I'm just like I can't snap
out of this.

Speaker 1 (52:51):
I can't snap out of this. And I was like
I didn't want to pray because I was like, nah, God,
I feel like that ain't right for me to pray.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
I didn't turn my back on you like I'm afectin
to come try to pray, you know, like I'm and
that's pride, you know, because God isn't sitting back like.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
You better stay over there, you know what I'm saying. Like,
so pride kicked in. But then I was just so down.
I couldn't shake it.

Speaker 3 (53:14):
Like one day, two day, three day, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
about five six days and I can't shake it, and.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
I'm like, yo, help. So then i I'm sitting down.
I'm just like all right, man, I was like, God,
I don't even know what to say. But if you
got something for me. I'll take it.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
I'll open up the Bible and it's on the story
when after Peter had denied Jesus three times and then
Jesus comes to him after he resurrects, and he's just like, hey,
you know, do.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
You love me? Peter's like, you know, I love you.
He's like, do you love me? He's like, you know
I love you. He's like do you love me? He's like, yeah,
I know, I love you, and feed my sheep.

Speaker 3 (54:02):
And what that said to me was this man denied God,
but God was still like I ain't tripping on that.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Just get back to work. I'll forgive you. And then
I just broke. I'm like, you know what I'm saying.
So that's what's spinning all on. And I mean from
there we just start building back.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Man shout outs to God.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah for sure.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
All right, Well, dang, this is this is just a
nice experience to hear your testimony from you. This closets
Why don't you told me and everyone out there listening
like how they could keep up with you. I know
you have a podcast right now and all that.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
Yeah, you can definitely tap in on the podcast. The
Deep End with La Craze.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
Make sure you tap.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
In and share with everyone what you talk about on
the show, and they guess you have.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
The deep end is where faith meets culture. So what's
going on in culture in society. I mean, it's not
like it's it's a conversation. It's not always going to
be like some it's not a Bible study, but it's
a conversation and faith gets weaved into it. We've talked
with Will Smith about his spiritual journey. I talk with
Nick Cannon about what it's like to have all them
kids and why you ain't stopping you no time soon.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
I think he's I think he's stopping. I think he's
he's Hella's like pausing.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
Yeah he needs he should have paused a long time.
I love you. Nick.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
We talked to like, you know, some only fans creators
who got off of there and they're exposing like some
of the problems with it.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
Man. It's just lots of different people from different walks
of life. You know. We'll talk to like pastors and
ask him like hard questions.

Speaker 3 (55:42):
Like yo, man, what's up with the money in the church,
and like what's going on behind the scenes. And it's
just where faith and culture meet the questions that the
culture wants to ask and conversations the culture wants to
talk about.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
But from a faith perspective.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
When you say the culture, you mean like black audience
or youth audience.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
I mean just the world. And I would say probably
between if you between twenty.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Five and forty, this is like the stuff that you're
thinking about.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
So it's like the stuff that you're thinking about and
let's just let's talk about it.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
But I hear like college students listen to it.

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Too, so you know, it's interesting. It's interesting. The conversations
are deep. It's it covers all the all the questions
you'd want to know, and that like when I watch them, Yeah,
you're asking the questions that I'm thinking that you I
want you to ask. Yeah, so it's good your present.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
I love when people say that.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
That's like one of my favorite texts, Like, man, I'm
glad you asked them. I wanted to know the same thing.
I'm just gonna ask you what people want to know.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
And then music, what's going on with that?

Speaker 1 (56:43):
I got this collaboration project with Miles Minnet.

Speaker 3 (56:46):
He's a younger artist. He lives here, but he's based
in the Bay. He is in LA but he's based
based in the Bay from the Bay. But anyway, Yeah,
so that project's out.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
It's called Get Will Soon. You know.

Speaker 3 (56:57):
We got E forty on air, we got Yellow Hill
on the air, we got Amy Zuko, we got it.
I'm missing somebody, DJ Moski, I'm missing somebody forgiving album.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
Yeah. Yeah, So it's a project that we put together
West Coast. Like nobody's business.

Speaker 3 (57:11):
It's just I always wanted to really make some good
West Coast music and I felt like, you know, I
just didn't really make what I wanted to make historically,
so I always made a song here or there. But
then this is a full on West Coast project. And
then I wanted to get with a younger artist because
being in the game a long time, you just you
can hog the limelight and artist they stay one knows me,

(57:31):
you know, look at me, and I'm like, man, how
can I breathe life on somebody else who's already they got?
He has his own movement and momentum. But if I
can add any credibility, then let me do that.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
So how did you guys link up the.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
Funny part about it is he met me when I
was on tour years ago but I don't remember, but
he was a fan.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
He waited outside my tour bus and he was like, man,
I just want to give you this ten dollars man, and.

Speaker 3 (57:54):
I was like, I can't take this money from you, bro.
You know, it was like, he's the last ten dollars.
But I just want to sow. Wear want to go
and I want to be on where you are.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
And I was like, Okay, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
You buy craylatte and then you never know what happened,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
So but he did that.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
But then years later he was bubbling, he was making
some noise and he hit me up and asked me
to do a song with him. And I did that
song and that was fun and I liked his He
was a humble dude. I liked his demeanor. Then after
we did that song, then it turned into me wanting
to put him on a song.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
He worked so fast. Yeah, I said, we can, let's
do another one, Let's do another, Let's do another.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
And by the time that work Ethic was there. Work
Ethic talent, persistence, and he planted that seat.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
That's right, So the number one.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
By the end of it, it was like we had it.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
It's called get well soon, Get well.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
Yes, you know, yeah, you know what I'm saying. So
when somebody's sick, you said, oh, man, I hope you
get well soon. And you know, we feel like a
lot of people are sick right now, a lot of
people dealing with stuff and you be coming to you
got everything from financial stuff to family stuff. So it's
like it's just it's just some joy and you put
some joy in you in your mix real quick.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
On the project? What's your favorite and why?

Speaker 3 (59:11):
My favorite is The Method hands down the songs called
the Method. It just it's just a West Coast, like
it's from I mean from the Bay to Sacramento to
La to San Diego. Like no part of Cali's untouched
in the song Wow. And you know we got e

(59:33):
forty the Mayor on there.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (59:35):
So it just felt right, man, It's just and we
just you know, just want to wake up the West.
So working on that and then working on my solo album, and.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
We don't know when the date of that is coming out.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
Solo album probably be sometime in the fall, okay, okay,
and then we'll do a world tour.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
That's what we want. That's what we want to hear.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
World tour is coming.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
It is coming, it's coming. Well, thank you so much
for cooking for.

Speaker 1 (59:59):
Me, hey man, struggle me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
And then before we sign out, I just got one
last question for someone that's going through that transition of
you know, Christian to maybe falling off course a little
bit to getting back up. What advice would you give
to them or what could you share with them to
kind of carry them through?

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
Yeah, Man, I would just say life is a journey.
In everybody's journey, I think every person realizes there's a
gap that we're trying to like feel right. No matter
what you believe in, you know, there's a gap. You know,
there's like, man, something's not all the way right, you
know what I'm saying. And I think a lot of

(01:00:38):
times we try to mend the gap ourselves, like well
maybe if I just get another job, or if I find.

Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
The right guy or the right girl, or if I.

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
Reach inner peace or you know, and it's like, man,
I think that's a god size gap that only God
can feel, and a lot of us are avoiding God
because we're like, it's too simple, want easy answers and
answers that please us, but we don't want. And you know,
I think people are afraid of God because they feel

(01:01:09):
like he's going to invade on their their fund or
their privacy or whatever. And he wants to just make
that better. He wants to bless that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
So don't run from him.

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
Engage even if you're like, I don't know, like, lean
in because you can't the worst. What's the worst that
can happen by you leaning in to someone who's supposed
to be loving and peaceful and benevolent and good, Like,
what's the worst that can happen?

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
You know what I'm saying. So this is not a
toxic boyfriend that's going to do you bad. It's like,
so I would just say.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
Lean in, even if it's dark and ugly, lean in,
you know, let them, let them, let him work on you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
I like that gap to acknowledging that gap right there,
because a lot of people I do that. I'd be like,
this is little and then with social media, with the
seventy five and hard or whatever, I can fix it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
That's human nature posing about.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
But no, you're right open the Bible. Yeah, you know,
and I think just also just on my own walk
is definitely like getting in the Bible versus just going
to church. It makes a huge difference.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
Oh yeah, for sure, Oh for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
And just even just I'm a big audio person. I
just listen or ill I can listen to a podcast,
I have a conversation about the Bible.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
I can, like, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
It's like, even if I'm not just sitting there reading myself,
which I think people should do, read with other people.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
I don't know why we believe.

Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
It's like thinking that you got to be in a
corner by yourself with the Bible, just trying to like
nobody does that, and like no kid is like you
know what, I'm seven and I.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
Need to learn algebra. Let me just open an algebra book.
Got myself in the corner, you know what I'm saying.
It's like, give me some people who know algebra, you
know what I mean, and just bounce stuff off each other.
So I like that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
Well, thank you so much guys for tuning in, and
thank you with great for feeding me. Hey, you know
this Trio combo for all the listeners just mixed the
spinach with the corn and the the beanie whenies.

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
Yeah, all right, thanks y'all. Peace Up

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
For more eating while broke from iHeartRadio and The Black Effect,
Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.