Legacy Beyond Wealth

We always talk about legacy and what we want to leave behind in. But beyond generational wealth, what does legacy really mean? In this episde, the Ellises talk about what wisdom they hope to impart on their four boys, and the crew joins in on the conversation. #DeadAss.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Listen closely.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
The legacy you leave will not be defined by how
much money you make.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
M that's a good thing. And I just know that
as rich as my heritage and culture is, that needs
to be folded up into the legacy that we leave
our children.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Dead Ass.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
from the heart. Since then we've gone on to become
Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Be raw, or but most apportly be us.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,
and through it all, one thing has never changed. This
is a sever after because we got a lot to
talk about.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Story time, so as you all know, we have four
beautiful voice and over the past I say a year,
I've learned a lot about raising our children. Just in
the past year, yes, I'll say in the past year,
mainly because Jackson turned thirteen, and as so many of

(01:14):
you know, in other cultures, you turn thirteen. In Jewish
culture you have about missfah even in I think in
Latino culture, when you turn thirteen, for girls.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Or was fifteen for coach.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
So it's like that age that turning thirteen in many
cultures is a sign of becoming an adult. And recently
I've realized with Jackson that there's more teaching that goes
into teaching a young man how to be a man
than it teaches him how to do anything that's in
association with his occupation. So, for example, Jackson and I
had gone through this back and forth with football and basketball,

(01:50):
and I realized, you know what, I am going to
back up a little bit and not hover. Brought Jay
down here from New York so that he can be
his basketball mentor kind of like an uncle, so that
I could still be dad. But I knew someone who
has the same intensity for sports to coach him. One day,
Jay was like, yo, Jacks, we got five ams. So Jax,

(02:13):
being Jack's at thirteen, was up five am, five thirty two.
I get a text message from Jay, literally, yo, d
I fucked up? This is the text message, right, And
then I say, testaments of what happened?

Speaker 1 (02:28):
You're supposed to be here. He calls me.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
He said, Yo, I got sick last night. I actually
got really sick, passed out on the floor. Woke up
this morning and it's five thirty. I got a long
text message from Jackson.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Right.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
The text message says something like this, This is a
thirteen year old Hey, j I have to be at
school for eight o'clock. You told me to be here
at five. You told me to be up at five
am so you could pick me up. I'm up and
you're not here. We talk about trusting this house, and
if you expect me to trust, you have to be

(03:01):
a man of your word because words have power. I
could have gotten more sleep, so I'm not gonna do
six am. I'm going back to sleep. And he proceeded
to go back to sleep, and then Papa took him
to school. And then Jay said to me, like yod,
I had to grow up in that moment because the
man and me wanted to be upset that he was

(03:24):
talking to me. But then I also realized that he
was mature and actually right. And I know this story
was about me teaching my was supposed to be about
me teaching my son how to do something outside of sports,
but it was ultimately my son teaching another man about
something because that was something that he learned from his father.
And for me that's the important part about the legacy

(03:46):
is the man aspect of it. When he said the
words like you have to be a man of your
word and words have power, I noted that's something that
he got from me because.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
I say that all the time, all the time, all
the time.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
And when Jay read the text from me, I was pissed.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
First, well, you had my son wake up, But I
was also proud the jackson not only stood his ground,
but he was eloquent in these words.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
So eloquent and respectful.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
That's my boy, man.

Speaker 5 (04:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Yeah, that's what we teach accountability in this house, all right.
Everybody has to follow suit.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
So with that being said, you had a karaoke song.
I did song, which is funny because yesterday we was
arguing about you know what I like.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
And I do mine, and then they don't have to
be one karaoke.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
If it's fitting for us to have to. I mean,
initially when I said mine, you were like, oh, that's
what I was thinking of, But then you had something else.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
So I think because it was the first thing that
came up with, legacy.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Was right right. Well, of course, Jay Z, legacy right
makes sense. Legacy, Legacy Black excellency, let them see.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Let them see.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, But then I started thinking about the spoken word.
This is from the Blueprint two album. Jay Z said
this at the end of the first song. I see,
I said, jealousy, I said, got the whole industry mad
at me? I said, then be I said, Oh, remind yourself.
Nobody built like you. You design yourself. I see, I said,

(05:14):
my wonderful con self getting stoned every day like Jesus did.
What he said, I said, has been said before, So
keep doing your thing.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
He said, say no more. That's legacy.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
That like, it gives me chills to even say that
and think about what it means.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
You know, the idea of getting stoned every day like
Jesus did.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
It's like, Yo, my legacy is that I'm not going
to follow and do everything everybody else. I am going
to do something outside the box. That's my legacy, my legacies.
I'm going to do something that's never been done, and
people will crucify me for it because it's never been done.
But at the very end, he said, I see, I said,
what's been said before. Keep doing your thing, he said,

(06:00):
say no more, just like Jesus. No matter what they
say about you keep doing your thing because your thing
will ultimately become the trend one day.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, it's a fact.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
And if not, at least you'll be happy with being yourself.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Amen.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
That's ultimately what we teach these boys.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Amen.

Speaker 6 (06:15):
Love that man.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
All Right, y'all, let's take a quick break. We're gonna
pay some bills and then we're going to get back
into the meat of the show. So stick around Legacy, baby.
All right, we're back, all right now for Devo's favorite
part of the show.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
This is my favorite part of the show.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
What we got going on today, girl.

Speaker 5 (06:36):
Well, since we're talking about Legacy today, I heard that
stephen A Smith and Lebron James got into it court
side of the Lakers game a few weeks ago.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
Oh, I did see that.

Speaker 5 (06:47):
I guess Bronnie James was playing particularly poorly that game
and stephen A Smith must have been saying something courtside,
so Lebron went up to him and, reportedly, according to Smith,
he said, stop effing with my son.

Speaker 6 (07:03):
That's my son.

Speaker 5 (07:04):
So my question is about nepotism.

Speaker 6 (07:09):
In this situation.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
About nepotism. Oh, I have a strong opinion about this.
I'm all for nepotism. This country was built on nepotism.
They just mad because now we're using nepotism. And even
in a more poignant point when it comes to the
James family, lebron James has made a shit ton.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Of money for not only the NBA, but ESPN and Nike.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
Right, and we all agree that he's made billions of
dollars for those three companies. Right, people have a problem
with his son being drafted into the NBA, right, and
him getting a seven million dollar deal. I challenge anyone
to go back in time and look at all of
the draft picks at that time.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
They all got the same amount of deal.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
They all got about seven million, some got more, some
got nine million, being I think he's a fifty fifth pick, right, Josh.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
So people were upset that he a seven million dollars.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
This also shows you the ignorance people see something automatically
assume that Bronnie James got more than everybody else until
they do research and realize he didn't get more than
everybody else. But also, let me ask you this, if
you made billions of dollars for three companies, right, why
would you put your son into the nc double A
to make more money for the NC DOUBLEA when you
can put him where you can make sure that he's

(08:21):
taken care of what he can learn about the game
and make his own money. Don't that seem like it
just makes sense, you know what I'm saying, Like at
this point, it's really not even nepotism, it's just smart.
You know, that's my son. I make this company all
of this money. He's going to grow here where I
can make sure that he's protected. I'm also gonna make
sure he grows in a place where he's not making

(08:42):
another institution money.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Because Braun never went to the NC Double A. He
went sure at a high school. So I understand it.
I understand the mentality.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
I think that people don't realize that they're playing a
different game.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
You know what I'm saying, Bron is an icon. His
son is not going to do.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Things the way ever three other child does, and I
think people are upset about that. But I don't think.
I don't think it's quote unquote nepotism. And even if
it is nepotism, go ahead and nepotize your way to
the top. Because I played in the NFL where every
coach's son is on staff.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
That owners son is own staff.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Like, there's people who are gms who have no football
experience because their father was in the front office. So
if we don't have a problem with that, I don't
have a problem with this.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Remember in college we went to at Hofstra. One of
my residents, who is living on my floor, okay, woke
up one middle of the night to someone someone was
in my in my dorm room. So this is when
I was living in the towers, so I was in
charge of my entire ninth floor. Deval and I were

(09:45):
in my little twin size bed asleep middle of the night.
I was the r A on duty that night. Big spoon,
little spoon, big little spoon in the twin size bed, right.
And then I hear in my sleep like water is running.
I'm like my dreaming, like what's going on? Open my
eyes and there is a young man in my room
in the dark, taking a piss in my garbage can

(10:08):
in my room.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
I was dead.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Nah in my room. So I jump out the bed.
Deval jumps off the bed. We were like, oh my god,
jump and grab him.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
No, he's paying.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
I'm like he's paying a long stream piece like he
was clearly like super nebrated and on something right, So
I'm like, don't So he like literally comes to when
we turn on the lights and he sees like he's
in the room with me and Deval and he was like,
oh shit. So I was like, I said his name,
and I was like, you better get the fuck out

(10:46):
my room and take the garbage can with you.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
It's the funniest part though. It's the funniest part. He
picks up the garbage can and goes into the bathroom
to clean it out. Right, public safety comes. They're all
former football players because once she called, they run upstairs.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yo, do you good.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
I'm saying, yeah, dudes in the bathroom. They come back laughing,
and I said, what happened? They go in the bathroom.
I go in the bathroom. Dude is in the shower
with the garbage can, fully clothed and all of the.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Wall just running on it and running out of the
garbage can.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
And the dude was just like he's They were like,
he's on something other than just alcohol.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Made no sense, So they took care of him, took
him to the hospital, make sure he didn't have anything.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
So a couple of days later, I go by.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
He lived down the dorm down the hall from me.
So I'm knock on the door and I'm like, yo,
what's the deal? Like real talk like you party Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday,
Like how like how dude? Undergrad's a fucking joke. My
fifth year. My dad owns Vitamin World. When I graduated,
want to sit on the board, I'm gonna make like
two hudred and fifty k. That's literally what he told me.

(11:50):
And I said, that's a different game, y'all, playing bro like.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
Undergrad to them was a place to go socialized.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I tell you, wow, old to do it, have fun, travel.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
He said.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
My dad said, if I get my degree, then I
can sit on the board. Not when if, But he
was just there of five years, and when he gets
his degree, he gets to sit on the board and
make a quarter million dollars. That's what And that's nepotism.
They have no problem with that. So that's a great story.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
So for me, I'm just like, they be over here
doing it all the time. They put their kids in
positions to at minimum make six figures sitting on a
board with the potential to if they were invested in
the company, potentially rise in the company. So I'm like,
maybe I'm gonna do the same thing for my children,
because guess what we've been over here busting our ass
to make away facts and one thing divine and I

(12:41):
are teaching our kids regardless. When you think of just
the overarching topic of legacy, it's like you have to
build a certain character in general to go through life with.
So I'm all for being able to put your kids on.
Is Brianny a good player?

Speaker 1 (12:55):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
I don't really pay by the time this comes out,
y'all seeing he just had his career high last night.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
He had seventeen, seventeen, five and two.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
He's just starting now.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
I'm going to be fair because people are going to say, oh,
they was getting blown out. I don't care if they
was getting blown out. And I think he's averaging over
twenty in the G League, and the number two pick
from this year I think is in the G League
and averages less points than Brownie. So it's like, I
think's number two and number three. I know some sports
people can be like, no, it's not the number two,
it's not it's the number four. I don't shit, dude,

(13:25):
just scored seventeen points last night in the NBA game.
You cannot tell me he don't belong in the NBA.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Come on now, exactly, And they're expecting him to come
fresh out of wherever he's coming out of school to
be at the same level of his father, Like, come on.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Also, there's so many other nuances here that people don't realize.
Two years ago, Brownie had a heart condition that almost.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Cost him his life.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Remember, yeah, yeah, at this point, if I'm a dad,
I don't give a shit period about what people think
about what I'm going to do for my son. Like
if this is going to and I don't want to
put this, I say it shortens his life.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
I'm going to give my son every opportunity now to.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Get his dream, you know, cause what if you get
some report that, hey, he only has a couple more
years to play basketball before he has to chill. Okay,
these are things they're not going to disclose to us,
But he getting there.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
You know what I'm saying, We don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
And I'm not going to say that I'm gonna knock
on wood because I'm hoping that that's not the case.
My head here, I just I think this whole thing
about nepotism with them is just yeah, it's.

Speaker 3 (14:21):
All blown out and shout out to my girl Savannah.
Because people have told me that I'll be on my
Savannah tip at these basketball games with Jackson because I'll
be just concentrating on my son. So I had dming
that was like girl, I said people somebody said you'd
be like, oh my god, you so much like Savannah James,
Like you just be so into the game. Yeah, because
I'm here for my son, not here to entertain with y'all.
You know what I'm saying, I'll be like here, people

(14:42):
shout out to Savannah if you locks up with her kids.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
Well, you're supposed to be there to entertain people.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
No, I got kids kids, was the AAU circuit track whatever.
I'm not there to chucking job with nobody, but I
feel root my kids on. So, yes, what.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
Y'all think, I know, I know how y'all think about nepotism.
We had this discussion, Matt.

Speaker 7 (15:06):
Nepotism is running all up and down that building and
every other building. I'm all for all for it.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
I'm all for it. I think you bloom where you're planted.

Speaker 8 (15:17):
The fact that his dad put him in bad I
won't say his dad put him in that position. I
would say that his dad had influence to get him
to be a part of the NBA and the Lakers
for that matter.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
And for the.

Speaker 8 (15:29):
Most part, a lot of us are unqualified for the
positions that we have in general, right.

Speaker 4 (15:35):
So.

Speaker 8 (15:36):
It is up to you to take the opportunity that
you have to bloom in that position. And I think
he's doing exactly what he needs to do. I have
no issues with it. I guarantee you, once I have
my production studio, once I'm making my own films, my
daughter who wants to be an actress, I guarantee you
she will be in my films. Now a day in
acting school. She will go to acting school. Doesn't matter

(15:59):
because absolutely I'm grooming her for what she wants in
the future.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
So absolutely that makes so much sense as you should.

Speaker 5 (16:07):
Yeah, I one agree with nepotism, especially when it comes
to black folks. It's something that we haven't always been
able to do. I saw a video the other day
White Lotus, the show Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is on White Lotus,
and they posted a video the other day that was

(16:27):
like the moment that whoever. Schwarzenegger found out that he
got the part on White Lotus and everybody was like,
I thought they were on set in this video because
they're at like a nice resort.

Speaker 6 (16:40):
They're like, this isn't news.

Speaker 5 (16:42):
Bro, Like, yeah, we know why you got the part.
But I guess sports fans are a little bit different
at they're a little more a little harsher when it
comes to criticism, but hey.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
It depends on who they're harsh with.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yes, Archie Manning made it a point to make sure
that his kids went exactly where they went, and no
one had an issue with that. He pretty much told
I think it was the San Diego Chargers, do not draft.
If you draft Eli, he will go back to college
and not play. So then they drafted him and traded
him to the Giants for Philip Rivers. So here's another

(17:20):
opportunity where nepotism. A former Hall of Fame or hall
of famer tells people in this organization what's going to happen,
and nobody has a problem with it. But then when
it's Lebron or it's Dion, Oh, now was a problem.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
That's all of this? They can kiss minds with that.
I don't care. I hope them brothers get everything they
want out of life, big man, and.

Speaker 6 (17:39):
They can be the most mediocre player on the team.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Fact me.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Hey, yeah, that's how Sometimes though, with nepotism, you wonder
why think.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
About this, think about this in your life. Have you
ever seen a C average person in your life? A
black sea average person just go on to do anything
like super super great, and they'd be like, sea average,
got me here if you ever know. But if you
have a sea average, you a white male, you could
become president of the United States.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
George W. Bush. Yeah, I'm just being honest.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
What it is is absolutely.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yes, he went to an Ivy League school, but he
was a C average student and became president because his
father was president. Like, come on, man, like, we're not
going this is all facts. We're not making up stuff.
It's not an opinion, it's a fact. So nepotism runs
rampant in America. Do whatever you gotta do, bron Jackson,
whatever I got going on. When you turn eighteen, trust me,
you got a job, baby.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
All right.

Speaker 3 (18:33):
And I think it's also about knowing your kids and
knowing like their interests, Like say, Bronni didn't want to
do asketball like then, I'm sure they would have found
a different avenue for him to with their connections succeed
in that route. So it's like it doesn't always have
to be the same exact thing that the parent did either.
That is a fact, you know, I agree with that AnyWho.

Speaker 5 (18:49):
I know we're not talking about finance today, but I
think the audience always loves to hear y'all talk about money. Okay,
I feel like what I hear y'all talk about money,
I walk out of here like, Wow, I'm about to
have a million dollars. Hasn't happened yet, but I still believe,
keep the faith. So I just read the Washington Post

(19:09):
posted an article today that said that Klarna just signed
a new deal at door Dash. I saw that last
people can pay for food delivery and for payments.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
That's insane, and it makes.

Speaker 5 (19:22):
Me wonder what do y'all think about these buy now,
pay later companies like after pay Klarna.

Speaker 6 (19:28):
There's a couple more out there, op or no? Op?

Speaker 3 (19:31):
What's the arp on that? There's no there's no interesting,
So what's the incentive for someone like a Klarna? You know, Like,
how do they make their money? It has to be
like some underlying something, because listen, I understand that the
price of food. With four children in this house who
were always hungry, I get why people have to like

(19:53):
lay away food.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
You know what I'm saying, no op, because I don't
know enough about the app to have an education opinion, So.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
I don't have one, but go ahead, so you know
more about it?

Speaker 3 (20:02):
Yeah, Well, I've seen people with Klarna, you know, talking
about you know, the joke is that you know, if
you're going out and you want to get outfit or
you're trying to get something designer and you can't afford
it in the moment, you use Klara to get It's like, yeah,
it's like layaway now, I feel you.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
What is the like?

Speaker 5 (20:17):
So, the way that Klarna gets paid is they take
a merchant fee that is a percentage of what it costs.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
So the idea is they get their costs from the merchant.
They get their money from the merchants.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
Is they already elevating the price anyway?

Speaker 6 (20:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (20:31):
So it's like I used to work for groupon back
in the day, and the thought behind it is they
feel seats that would normally be empty. If you give
them a discount, you can make fifty percent of what
you would normally make instead of zero. So I guess
that's how they can sell people on using Klarna and
have to pay merchants rather.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
I should now that I know that. I think it
makes sense.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
It's like it's another form of group economics, and it's
what people need to understand. Black people used to do
this lot back in the day. He used to be
called the Susu susu.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
Right.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, it's just like we all low money.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
Say we all put in one hundred dollars, so there's
five of us. So it's Kadeen's week. She gets to
five hundred dollars. It's a saving savings plan, but she
gets five hundred dollars to work to have that for
whatever she wants it for for that week. But then
the next week she got to put in her hundred
dollars and that week goes to Josh and he's going,
I think this is the same thing. Say you don't

(21:27):
have a group to do a sushu or group economics,
but you need something in that moment.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Okay, I'll play a premium because I can pay overtime.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
I don't think that that's a bad thing, especially now
with the tariffs and with you know, we're heading towards
a recession, people are trying to find ways to survive.
I wouldn't use it all the time because clearly, since
you're playing a premium, you're paying probably close to twice
as much.

Speaker 5 (21:49):
No, there's no there's no interest, there's no fees you
pay exactly not.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
There has to be a fee you said there is.

Speaker 8 (21:55):
According to GBT, there is. If you use a financing
has to be a monthly final. If use financing monthly payments,
interest may be charged depending on the terms of your loan.

Speaker 5 (22:06):
But it's all financing is only used if you're not
going to pay for it in four payments, which wouldn't
be for food, smaller purchases. Exactly how much it costs
you just split the payment over four per gotcha.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Thing is you said they have a merchant fee, so
they get the money from the merchant.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah, so the merchant is gonna.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
Charge right Karma Karnakna.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Know what I'm saying is if it's the hot dog
is ten dollars, the merchant's probably gonna charge twelve dollars, right,
and then break it.

Speaker 5 (22:32):
Up into That's essentially what they do they're doing door
Dash is already doing.

Speaker 6 (22:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Right.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
So I'm saying this is they're going to find a
way to get you to spend more money over a
longer period. Absolutely, but it may be okay for you
if you don't have twenty dollars in that moment, but
you got five, Okay, I can have twenty dollars by
the end of the.

Speaker 3 (22:49):
Way, and you gotta eat it, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
So I understand it. People trying to make it right.
I get it right.

Speaker 7 (22:54):
It was people trying to eat So if it helps.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah, they just they do.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
I have to understand the long term effects, and most
people don't because most people will be like, oh, I
could pay five dollars over four payments, so then it's
just like, oh, it's twenty dollars.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah, but the hot dog only costs twelve, you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
So it's like, you spend the extra eight dollars and
then people don't realize if you continuously use that now
doubled your money like I have over the course of
a year, you'd be like, wait a minute, why did
I spend so much money on this? Because rather than
sacrificing and saving. You chose to do it upfront and
pay more money, and that's how they get you in
the trap. It's just like a credit card.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
A friend of mine, she was just like, you know,
talking about her in laws. We're having some financial issues.
She's like, but my father in law are still going
to go ahead and get this Gucci shirt on Karna
because he knows he could pay it off over time.
It was for his birthday. But I think it's also
just another avenue for people to continue to spend poorly
and not invest in the right things. Like food is different.

(23:52):
It's like I gotta eat out to feed my kids.
I need groceries. Cool, but like when you're doing it
for lavish things that you essentially can't afford. Like again,
the rabbit hole of this is.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
The lesson though, and how they get us because what
Tripple just pointed out, they say there's no interest rate,
no APR, so people automatically assume, oh, I'm paying the
same price for the same products when they don't realize no,
the interest comes on the back end or the front
end this time because the product is the product is

(24:25):
raised two hundred to three hundred percent so that you
can use it. People probably don't understand that, so hopefully
somebody listening. Here's that when you pay that on Klarna,
you paying a premium. You're not paying the cost, which
is typically with any product, Like you buy a pair
of Jordan's one hundred dollars, it costs you thirty two
dollars to make a pair of Jordan's. But when you
use something like Clarna, you're gonna pay way more that

(24:45):
people need to understand that before they use it. But
I don't see anything wrong with it as long as
you have to understanding.

Speaker 6 (24:51):
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 5 (24:53):
I don't think poor people should have to not have
what they want. If you're working, if you're making money,
if you're paying your b you have a roof over
your head, you have the essentials. You shouldn't have to
sacrifice everything. You should be able to do something that
you enjoy with your money. I agree, and so, but
a lot of times people who don't make a lot
of money, they don't have credit, they don't have credit cards.

(25:14):
They can't, you know, buy something now, pay for it
later like people with better income and better credit due.
So I think that Clarina after pay can be a
good thing for those people, so that they can actually
buy things that they want without breaking the bank, without
having to sacrifice paying a bill.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
But how important is the things that you want if
you're not where you need to be in life?

Speaker 6 (25:35):
Joy is important as hell.

Speaker 5 (25:37):
And I'm not saying going out to spend all of
your money on things that you want, but you should
be able to buy yourself something once a month if
you're working.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Not if you can't afford it.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
I spent four years of not buying anything, not going
This is a fact. When we was going through our hustle.
There was no design to close, there was no bags,
there was no Jordan's. I wore the same T shirts
every day. You can't go on no vacations. And I
think that's a bigger lesson for people. Is joy is fleeting,
That's life? Sure, so is life life. Life is fleeting.

Speaker 6 (26:07):
That's my thing.

Speaker 5 (26:07):
Like, if I've spent four years waiting to enjoy my life,
who knows where I'm gonna be four years from now,
I might not even be able to enjoy my life.

Speaker 6 (26:16):
And for me it's a personal thing.

Speaker 5 (26:17):
I watched my sister get sick at twenty one years
old and not be able to walk and not be
able to take care of herself and die when she
was forty.

Speaker 6 (26:24):
Yeah, so.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah, it is different.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
I do joy is important in life and life is fleeting. Yeah,
I just I think we as people need to do
what's important to us. That's why I can't take away
your perspective of how you feel, like because you've.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Seen someone close to you die at a young age.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
So when you tell people you have time, that's kind
of like nah, So I.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
Get that's me trying to even just get you to
enjoy like the winds in the moment and not just
thinking about what's next next, you know, or how we
can elevate and do more. It's like, here's a winning moment,
sit in it and absorb it and be grateful in
the moment. You know.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
That's true. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 5 (27:06):
But yeah, there's two It's two sides to the same
coin pretty much, because you gotta you gotta be responsible,
but you also all right, So one more topic that's
going to lead into what we're talking about today. Uh,
there's a woman I follow on Instagram. Her name is

(27:28):
sand Bovel. She like works in AI and recently she
was speaking at some kind of conference where She said,
we need to stop preparing kids for jobs because jobs
are going to change, and I guess, as somebody that's
working in AI, that's something that you know firsthand.

Speaker 6 (27:45):
She said. Instead, we need to prepare them for.

Speaker 5 (27:48):
The problems they want to solve and how to be
better participants in the world.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
I agree. I have a strong opinion on this.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
I agree people get afraid of technology but don't realize
that technology has always evolved. For example, back in the
seventeen hundreds eighteen hundreds, right when everyone was trying to
figure out the cotton gin because cotton was the biggest
thing that made America a world power.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
If they told all kids.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
At that time, all you need to focus on the
rest of your life is how to work with cotton gin,
where would we be.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
You know what I'm saying. But instead, let's work on innovation.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
Let's work on growth, like our kids are not going
to have to worry about mainframing and doing things that
Like my father did you know zero one zero one
when it comes to programming a computer? Then I did that.
So let them focus on artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence to
me is not the bad guy. You know, and I
know being in the TV industry, people just like, well,
what about them using artificial intelligence for actors. I'm gonna

(28:46):
take you guys back to a little bit of time,
right back in the day when it was just theaters.
Destians were considered people who were in the theater. And
then you know what happened. Cameras came out and people
started to film theaters, and they they used to these
penny movies. Right, people don't notice a penny movie where
somebody would come with a camera and they would film
the theater and then for a penny you could go

(29:07):
watch it and the little thing watch it. And people
at that time were upset. Was like, no one's gonna
come to the theater anymore if they can continue to
watch these little penny movies. And then penny movies became movies,
and then radio, then television and now streaming.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
It's like there's always going to be a new technology.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
We as people have to stop running from technology and
understand that these advancements can be good for us if
we learn them.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
So our kids should learn that, that's my opinion.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yeah, So not be preparing for jobs per se.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
Yeah, don't be prepared to just have a job like
that's but that's also what's wrong with society.

Speaker 4 (29:39):
Right.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
We put so much.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Emphasis, an emphasis on what somebody does as an occupation
that defines people. Right the first thing you meet someone, right,
you don't ask them, you know what I'm saying, You're healthy,
you know what's your life?

Speaker 3 (29:52):
Use that what you do? What you do the first
thing the conversation starter.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
And then people start talking about how much money they make,
what their job is, and then you're like, damn, but
you have a whole other life that you don't even
talk about. Right, So I think we should stop preparing
kids to feel a way about their job.

Speaker 3 (30:07):
I mean, I know people who are no longer children,
they're in their thirties and still don't know what job
they want to do, you.

Speaker 6 (30:13):
Know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
So it's like preparing kids solely for one particular job
or one particular lane. I think is insane. I think
the fact that you even have to think of what
you want to do for the rest of your life
at seventeen and eighteen years old as you approach college
is insanity. Because I've changed my mind about fifty eleven
times at this point, I want forty one. Just finding

(30:36):
my way.

Speaker 9 (30:36):
Pediatrician, pediatrician, lawyer of doctor, you know, nurse all what
pressure is from like my family about what I should
and shouldn't do, and pressures up on myself.

Speaker 3 (30:47):
So I'm my opinion is, yeah, I completely agree with her.
I don't think that we should be preparing children for
jobs per se. Prepare them to be good human beings,
Prepare them to seek happiness, Prepare them to be global
cities and to travel the world and just see things
and be exposed to different cultures. Like that's what we're about.
Like you know how many times I've teered on the

(31:08):
maybe we should just be homeschooling our children and like
backpacking around the world so that they can experience other cultures. Like, man,
that's what I think is important. This whole nine to
five I forgot when I think I recently read an
article about when the nine to five was like enacted
in culture, but it wasn't always a thing. Like you
go to other cultures and they're not doing nine to five.

(31:28):
It's like they'll work for a little bit and they'll
have their afternoon tea. People go home for a nap,
then you wake up again, you come back and you
have your little business over for four hours, Like only
in America do you do this.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
It became a nine to five thing to ensure production.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
I think people don't understand that about the the what
is it called capital industrial complex yep, Like the nine
to five was a place where all of the employers
was like, we need all of our people who do
our job to come to one central location. You're gonna
put hours on them. They have to clock in and
clock out right and get shit done right. And then
it changed a little bit over the last couple of

(32:02):
years with the pandemic and people were like, oh, we
can work more from home. And now people are opening
up their mind to the fact like wait a minute,
I didn't have to go into that office because think
about it. If you work somewhere and it's an hour
and a half commute, and then you work from nine
to five, then it's an hour and a half commute home,
you're ultimately spending eleven hours of your day focused on

(32:23):
the job, building someone else's dream.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
That was for me at Matt Cosmetics. You remember driving
to Roosevelt Field Moore working a nine to ten hour
shift and then having a drive having no life outside
of that. Yeah, so what y'all think.

Speaker 4 (32:38):
What was your question?

Speaker 1 (32:40):
No, she was still about they were saying that they're
saying we should no.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
Longer for job.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
There is just for jobs.

Speaker 8 (32:47):
So for me, I think it's more about raising children
to be creative thinkers, to be tech savvy, to not
necessarily think about jobs. So my opinion would be one
the same line as y'all was like, Yeah, there's no
need to be raising children to be like I'm gonna
be a doctor today because the reality is that most
of the jobs that are that we currently understand as

(33:08):
as as earning.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Jobs, will be gone absolutely right.

Speaker 8 (33:13):
We already automation happening in auto auto industry, UH tech
industry up. That's that's the same thing is going to
be happening for the medical field, robotics and and AI
taking over. So raising creative thinkers, sneers, people who can
or children who can ah create jobs based on their

(33:36):
own interest or the needs of society, I'm glad that's
probably the best route to take as opposed to uh,
jobs that are that started during the industrial period or
jobs that started when we needed to build America as
a as a country.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
It's now innovation.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
So yeah, I'm glad you brought this up trouble because
I have a very unique thought and I want to
hear what I have to say after go ahead, Man.

Speaker 10 (34:02):
I agree with y'all.

Speaker 7 (34:03):
But at the same time, I'm also like, I just
thought of it was like, no, we need some of
these jobs. We need some of these parents to push
people to these jobs because some of some doctors only
became doctors and became great doctors because our parents pushed
them to be that. We might not have a lot
of pros in specialists in these areas if people not.

Speaker 10 (34:26):
Push to those areas.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
That is a fact.

Speaker 10 (34:28):
That's the only thing I'm thinking about.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
That is a fact because if everybody goosey like I
be creative today, I'm Gonnawitch'm gonna do something else.

Speaker 10 (34:36):
But we need somebody who's going to dedicate to this.

Speaker 8 (34:39):
We're always civity can happen in the same field itself.

Speaker 10 (34:42):
I agree.

Speaker 7 (34:43):
I'm just thinking about the standpoint of your I'm saying,
as parents raising kids, we can still guide them towards something.

Speaker 8 (34:50):
Yet, creator helmet I got you, do not gear your kids.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
To do not gear them to do that.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
That happens organically when they find something they want to do.
But if you gear your kids towards being a content creator,
they're going to be a worse content trust me.

Speaker 8 (35:10):
And that's not going to be a job in ten years.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
It's not It wasn't a job ten years ago.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
It's not tribute.

Speaker 6 (35:19):
Would you think trip, Yeah, I think yeah.

Speaker 5 (35:23):
Teaching kids how to solve problems, making kids aware about
what the problems are in the world so that they can,
you know, either be interested or not interested in figuring
out a solution, and letting them, you know, develop their own.

Speaker 6 (35:37):
Career based on that.

Speaker 5 (35:38):
Also, I feel like supporting kids in the interest that
they show and their talents as they're growing is super
helpful as well, because even within certain industries, there's more
jobs than what kids know or even parents know are available.
Like as a child, I wanted to be an actor
and a singer. My first career day I went as

(35:58):
a superstar, a movie star actually, But I didn't learn
until after I graduated college with a business degree that
I could be a producer or I could be, you know,
something else in the industry that wasn't necessarily a performer.
And if I would have known that before, I probably

(36:18):
could have honed some of the skills that I was
teaching myself or went to college to learn some of
those skills professionally and not have taken like five years
to figure to figure it out.

Speaker 6 (36:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (36:30):
But also I think a problem that we do have
that some kids should be encouraged to try to solve
is like, we're about to run out of electricians, We're
about to deny have enough plumbers. Yeah, you know what
I'm saying. Everybody wants to do something fancy.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
We was just talking to the young man that was
in the houses. You see all the work was done.
There was a young man shout out to mister James.
He brought a young man, Colin by the house. Colin
was fourteen. Wow, and he was here the middle of today.
So me and Matt was like, Yo, this is impressive
that you have a young man in the middle of
the day learning about a trade. And then he was
just like he was my mother is a real estate agent.

(37:06):
She always needs work.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
Done on the house. So I'm gonna learn how to
do this.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
But that also goes to what Matt was saying and
what Josh was saying. He had to be here because
the people in his life told him, you need a mentor,
so they forced him to do something, which is what
Matt was saying. What Josh was saying is he realized
that his mom sells houses, but they need people all
the time to fix electricity and plums. So he figured

(37:32):
out that he wanted to focus on that. This is
gonna bring me to the legacy you build for your
kids outside of finances.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
Right. I said to k about a year ago, Canini
is gonna sound crazy.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
But everything sounds crazy. He prefaces everything by saying, I
know I'm gonna sound crazy, but I'm like, what.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
I do know?

Speaker 2 (37:51):
But what if our kids never worked, and what if
we never put on them?

Speaker 1 (37:58):
You have to go work for somebody.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
For example, I'm confident that we are going to be
worth over nine figures. Right, So in that case, do
I have to go out there and tell my son,
y'all gotta gotta go out there and get more money.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
No, I don't have to.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
But what I can tell him is, like what you said, trouble.
There are problems going on in the world you think
you want to solve. Son, Take the money that you've
already accrued, we've accrued as a family, build something, create
something that's gonna help solve that. I watch Will Smith's
son Jaden. He's focused on hydrating the planet and he
came up with this just that's his thing. And I'm like,

(38:34):
that's so dope that people don't even put And I
see some comments people like, look, rich kids get to
do whatever they want to do, and I'm like, yeah,
here's a rich kid who can do whatever he wants
to do. So rather than go out there and take
every role because he's Will Smith's son, he's choosing to
take his money and invest in something that's gonna help
people in the planet.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
That's a great point.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
And I said to Kay, I was like, what if
our kids do that?

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Yeah, I'm not gonna sit here and tell Jackson, like,
well you better be a fifth a first round I'm
picking win super Bowl.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
No that.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
I don't want to do this, man, what do you
want to do.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
I want to be a humanitarian, you know, I want
to I want to build some I want to get
some land in Africa and I want to build this
and I want to do that. I'm gonna be like
fuck yeah, because at this point, your occupation does nothing
to us as humans.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
I mean, why do we have occupations to make money.
Why do we have jobs to make money? So it's like,
if you now have built the legacy financially for your
children to be able to then impact the world and
the way they see, yes, then it's like why not.
That was the whole point of it anyway.

Speaker 7 (39:34):
Now that's what you're working and building towards to give
them that free to go and be a productive member
of society.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
Yes. Now, I'm gonna tell you something, right, it's when
they piss it away then that's the problem.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
I'm gonna tell you something crazy, right. Had this conversation
amongst some of my cast members. I'm not going to
say with casts, but they of course were women, and
they were like, I don't know if I met a
dude who have money who just wanted to save the
world that, I don't know if I could marry a
dude like that. And I said, you see, that's the
mindset we were brought up. We were all brought up
that your occupation defines.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
You as a person. And the minute I say he
doesn't work, but he's doing, you automatically.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
Went to he's not working because he's lazy or he
doesn't have no And they were just like, oh, I
didn't realize.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
That, I said, but we all do that because for
I was pushing Jackson for that same reason. You ain't
going to be a lazy man. You got to get
a job. You gotta work this many hours, you gotta
do this.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
And then over the last couple of months, when I
wasn't working as much and I realized how much effort
and energy I need to put into my kids, I'm like, Yo,
what if I stop chasing dollars. Okay, we make money.
What if I stop chasing dollars and focused on how
I could be a better human? Shouldn't more people do that?
And that, to me is what's important about legacy because legacy,

(40:41):
even with Hove and b people give them the legacy
card because they made a lot of money. But there
are people who have legacies who are not rich financially,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
There are families who have done things in the world
that have changed the entire world that people have never
heard about. Look at our.

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Shirvy y Roff's kids. Yes, there is a process now
of starting their stardom. I know her son just got
a role in a in a Christmas.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
And they're doing that on the side. Their main thing is.

Speaker 3 (41:15):
Yeah that is like yo, yeah, shout out to and Ivy.
We had them on last season.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
I think we've reached a point in our lives black
people where we're no longer the first generation to do stuff.
My father went to college. Okay, he got his associates degree.
My mom didn't get her bachelor's degree. But I can't
sit here and say I'm the first lst that is
something my parents have done things. Absolutely a situation where
my life is way easier. Absolutely, I understand my privilege

(41:41):
having both my parents and them there's stilling this in me.
So I'm like, let's let's move it forward.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
You know what I'm saying, Like my story, my legacy
don't got to be I came from the gut that
got shot. You know, I sold drugs. That's not every
person's story story. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
My legacy is going to be I had a really
good father who also had a really good father to
be a really good father. And I have a really
good wife because my father had a really good wife
and his father had a really good wife.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
And legacy to me is passing one of those things.

Speaker 3 (42:09):
I just money, Yeah, that's why I mentioned culture and
heritage in my SoundBite when we first opened the show,
because I look at, like I said, when I went
back home to my dad's country and my mom's country,
is like seeing where they've come from and the strides
that they were able to make coming over here at
what seventeen and nineteen years old and working at Burger
King and building you know, her life up my mom

(42:31):
and becoming a nurse, and then being able to give
us my brother, my sister, and I the opportunities to
be able to essentially do whatever it is that we wanted.
Like that was the one thing that my mom has
always said to us. She's like, I worked so hard
to ensure that you guys can do the things that
you want to do, and that's a fact, not the

(42:52):
things that you necessarily had to do. Because that was me.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
That's a legacy.

Speaker 3 (42:55):
That's a legacy, you know. And then when I look
at my kids now, Like the other day, I was
on the car with Cairo. We were going to a
birthday party and he was like, Mom, can I DJ?
So I was like, all right, cool, my boy has
the most extensive, you know, taste in music. On an
hour long car ride, we went from a little.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
Rat so it was a little baby, little baby.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Little baby to pops. You go to pop smoke, this
is Cairo. Right then we jumped over to some worship music.

Speaker 10 (43:26):
What does this sound like? By the way, I just
want you to because you know who it is.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
Who my brother true?

Speaker 5 (43:32):
You know what that is.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
Watching that Chosen the same person.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
God ain't real. The pyramids was created by aliens. Then
in the next day will be like I just watched.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Chosen and I believe everything I think about the goodness
of God.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
But yeah, but it was Cairo. So it's like he's listen.
We're listening to worship music the goodness of God and everything.
And then we go to a little Bob Marley and
I'm was like wow, And I said to him, I said,
you know what, Cairo, I said, I appreciate your taste
in music, I said, We've been on a journey, I said,
but I feel like we need to start playing some
more music from like Mimi and Papa's country because I
feel like my legacy, who are my children? But they

(44:15):
can't die with me? Like they need to hear some
bearists come on and be like, oh, like that's the tune.
You know what I'm saying. That's how we grew up.
So it's like now just like playing more music in
the house and then taking them places and experiencing different cultures,
not just where we're from. Culture, culture, heritage is like.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
When we came over on the Middle past, absolutely all
of our culture and heritage were taken from us. So
that's a good point if you can keep that alive
with the younger kids teaching history, especially history in.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
The world that is always whitewiseh Absolutely they're trying to.

Speaker 3 (44:48):
Take away from us. Yeah, So that's that's a portion
of legacy that's not money related, that I think is
so rich for us and our families moving forward.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
I didn't even think about that because your family but
us from immigrants. You know, both your mom and your
dad came over here at a young age, so I
didn't realize how important that was to you.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
But not hearing it, it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Yeah, because our kids won't only be able to say
I'm American.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Yeah, their family, their lineage, their heritage.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Goes way way beyond it.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
I think we all as as black people, need to
start doing more lineage to find out where we came from.
Like our story doesn't start here in sixteen nineteen, you
know what I'm saying, Like our story starts way before that.
And I think it's important that we use the knowledge
we have to continue to push that forward.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
Absolutely, absolutely, so we can open up the legacy conversation
round table if anybody else has in two sense that
they want to add to this legacy.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
I do have or like because I wonder, like Matt,
you don't have any kids yet, Trible, you don't have
any kids yet? Do y'all think about how? Because me,
Josh and Kay have kids, we know what it's like
when you wake up. Do you think about like, I'm
going to do this is from my child when? Or
is it just like I'm only focusing on my personal
legacy right now?

Speaker 6 (46:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (46:06):
I used to think about it when I wasn't when
I didn't think I was too old to have kids.

Speaker 6 (46:14):
You think, I do you do?

Speaker 1 (46:17):
You're not too old.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
You're not too old at all. So can help you
too if you need help.

Speaker 6 (46:23):
Okay, thank you so much.

Speaker 11 (46:25):
I know a lot of guys that want to help
you too. I don't know if you want that kind
of help, but there's a lot of guys that's watching
right now and be like, please practice what it takes
to get there.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
Time on my page, They're like, whoa, I know you
had a sister. How did you get here? You just
want to know?

Speaker 6 (46:44):
You just want to know something, right. That is so funny.

Speaker 5 (46:49):
But yeah, I do think about that a lot, because, Yeah,
I think my parents did the best they could with
what they have. You know, they have barely you know, college,
They worked and survived and and scarcity, and I had
the best of what they had to give.

Speaker 6 (47:09):
I think the child. Yeah, And so.

Speaker 5 (47:15):
I think that if I do have kids, that I
could give them more than that because I've learned so
much even from from what I have and from what
I don't have.

Speaker 6 (47:24):
Oh yeah, I think about that all the time.

Speaker 10 (47:26):
Yeah. For me, I absolutely think about it.

Speaker 7 (47:28):
I try to take steps from right now in my
career path so that I could try to set up
places for the future so I can, like even with.

Speaker 1 (47:36):
My art, yeah, talk about it. So I want to
talk about.

Speaker 7 (47:39):
I want to be able to have an extensive gallery
that even if I'm going my kids can have that
and pass that down. It can a crewe wealth for them.
I have a freedom for them. I think about that
from now.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
See, one thing I noticed from everyone here is the
freedom m right, Like, it's not just accruing wealth to
say I have money, it's one wealth to give my
kids freedom to do whatever they want to do as
young black kids on this planet. That's just the bottom line.
We haven't experienced that. I haven't experienced that in my lifetime.

(48:12):
But it would be good like to be able to
be like Jack's what do.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
You want to do? Go ahead, walk free. We talk
about it.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
All the time, to be able to walk free, to
walk free. But there's one thing you did bring up
that's important. You can't get freedom without capitalism in this world.
It's impossible. And the only way you can get some
sort of freedom is if you completely go off the
grid and be like, I'm not buying in at all
to any of these things. But at some point you're
going to get your point where you're going to need

(48:38):
something or someone who is in this I forget that
this is capital industrial complex or is the capitalist industrial complex.
At some point your life is going to cross there,
and we can't ignore that and say that finances don't matter.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
It don't matter exactly. To wrap it up, I guess
one question Triuble had here. I guess this could be
for me and you and Josh. What scares you about
how your kids may turn out? Interesting already? Yeah, right, exactly.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
I'm gonna be honest. Nothing scares me because I know
my kids are not. I am involved in my kids life.
I'm never gonna say the TV, the iPad of this.
My kids are going to hear my perspective now that
I'm saying it. I am afraid. I'm afraid that I
was wrong about something.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
Like this. You're afraid that you were wrong about something
you taught now.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Like for example, I've always been this is the question
I always ask my dad, and I used to cry,
ask in this what if we're all wrong about Christianity?

Speaker 1 (49:38):
He was like, what you mean?

Speaker 2 (49:40):
I said, you told me, based on the Bible that
I have to believe in Christ, and I have to
believe in God, and I have to do all these
things to go to heaven. Right, But there's thousands of
other religions that are contradictory to Christianity, which means somebody's right,
somebody's wrong.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
What if we're wrong?

Speaker 2 (49:58):
And that's my only fear is that everything I believed
or thought or was working on towards building my family
is wrong, and now I've indoctrinated into my sons a
wrong belief system, which is why I'm pretty deep into
listening because I never want to be that guy that's
just like, only think one way right.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
So that's my fear now that I've said it out loud.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
My only fear is being wrong about what I thought
and teaching my kids that I want them to be
open minded to listen.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
But I think with your intent and your heart and
the things that you know deep down, it's like, no,
I have only the best intention for my children. That
I don't feel like you about.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
That intent versus impact.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
You can intend to do something and if it don't
land properly, if impact that person in the.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
Wrong way, they could negatively impact them.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
There are tons of older white people now our age
who grew up during the time where their parents believe
that slavery or their grandparents believe that slavery was okay,
and they evendoctrinated into these young white kids that mindset,
that mindset, and now they're older realized, like, yo, our
grandparents was wrong.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
What happens if you don't get that realization before it's
too late. Maybe you've done some things in that you die.
Now you got to meet your maker, and now your
maker tells you all these things you did in life
were wrong. Yeah, you follow them. That's my biggest fear
is that I might have led my kids. That's why
when my kids bring me questions like I used to
bring my parents, shun them or shame them.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Yeah, I say, where did you get that thought process?
Let's discuss this together.

Speaker 3 (51:25):
Oh yeah, there's a lot of that happening as they
get older. And I think maybe because we have the
open door policy with them where they feel so comfortable
coming to talk to us about stuff. It's like, okay,
we ask questions and they give us honest answers. At
the end of twenty twenty four, we were like, all right,
what do you guys want to learn more about or
do more? In twenty twenty five, Cairo was like, I know,
and what was the first thing? He said?

Speaker 1 (51:45):
You want to learn about God?

Speaker 3 (51:47):
More about God?

Speaker 1 (51:48):
He asked me literally, so he.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
Asked me, was just like that, where did God come from?
And I was just like, well, said you ask your
papa school because my father's a deacon. Know he's been
to these classes and learned some of these things. He
was just like, no, I asked pop the school, but
I figured you, I'd ask you. You know everything, man,
when I tell you the pressure to try to answer

(52:10):
this question.

Speaker 4 (52:12):
Yeah, I was.

Speaker 3 (52:13):
I was. Well.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
The first thing I said was, you know, God is
a concept. He's like, what does that mean. I was
just like, well, there's no proof. We have to believe
and have faith, and you know, you show your faith
in God through your works and what you doing in humanity.
And an eight years old he was just like, that
don't make no sense. And that's when I started to
get scared, because I'm like, how do you explain to

(52:35):
an eight year old the concept of God and faith?

Speaker 1 (52:38):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (52:40):
Because as a kid, I.

Speaker 7 (52:43):
Literally remember sitting in my front room as a kid
and one day, you know how, they said, just gonna
come back on the cloud one cloud.

Speaker 10 (52:48):
Yes, I remember it was one cloud on the sideway.
I think trumpets might go off to this. I had
no man knows the time, no doubt.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
And I'm saying right, and I'm like, I don't want
to hear the thunder and I don't start rising.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
A funny story.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Y'all know about the rapture, right, yeah, you know about
the rapture trouble, so I for whoever does know the rapture.
The rapture is the idea that God is gonna come
back and he's gonna take all of his people who
believed in him with him to heaven, and everyone else
here is gonna stay here. The world is going to collapse,
and then when they died, they'll be stuck in purgatory.
So I remember waking up at my nana's house and

(53:30):
all of my parents, aunts and uncles had all left.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
We would all get together for like a family reunion,
but our.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
Parents would do stuff like we all go to sleep
at night and then you wake up in the morning
and they be gone because they don't want to do
the big goodbyes, you know, we all young kids. I
remember bawling my eyes out because I thought the rapture
happened and they were all gone, and they left and
all the kids got left here, and I remember thinking
to myself, what.

Speaker 12 (53:54):
Am I gonna do?

Speaker 1 (53:55):
My parents are gone, I'm gonna be in purgatory. No
idea what purgatory was.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
But you know, you go to church at a young
age and you see the cross up there and yeah
this you do this, you go to hell.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
You do this, you go to hell.

Speaker 10 (54:07):
You sit that one person's going to be in the bed,
the other person's going to be gone. Bro, you wonder
what happened?

Speaker 1 (54:11):
So I understand how I literally woke up.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
And it didn't help that they had a rapture playing
in my church. So I watched the Rapture play and
I watched them do like the fake disaster scenes, by
the way, would be a really good movie, like the
Rapture movie where the guy comes down and takes away
one third of the people.

Speaker 4 (54:29):
They have a few of them they do.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Are they good?

Speaker 4 (54:32):
I haven't seen them in years, but there's a few that.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
With technology where it is now, could you imagine it
would be like the end of the Earth means a
couple of those would be like the show Paradise, Yeah,
where you got to start over and figure it out right, watching.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
Everything and whatnot. This is the show the chosen. Cairo
was like, I want to watch that when we have
our date day or day night is yeah, and that's
the one.

Speaker 10 (54:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:57):
So I was like okay, So he really wanting to
know about the that's now I have a responsibility to
make sure that my boy is learning more about God.
So you know, it's also helpful that they're in a
Christian school, so they're getting a good foundation, and then
we just have to kind of nurture that outside of it.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
So I think that's important too when we talk about
what we passed down to our kids. Legacy wise, it's
a spiritual foundation. Is if you don't have a spiritual foundation,
you can be really lost out here. I think, imagine
if you don't believe in anything or anyone or any
idea that there is better for you if you work
towards it, and you out here, you eighteen and you
randomly lose your job because they decide to downsize. Now

(55:34):
you just my job was everything, that's who I am,
and now I don't have my job, and then people
go nuts.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Yeah, So passing legacy is passing down a spiritual foundation.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
Absolutely. I think the only thing that scares me about
the kids or how they might turn out is just
the world around them, like everybody else. My mom used
to say it all the time. She's like, I don't
worry about you, worry about them. Everybody else the world.
That's what I worry about, And I'm like, I freaking
understand it now. It's like, but so much we can
do as parents in a controlled environment that's just that

(56:06):
is our house. But the many you leave those doors,
you know, I'm already erect thinking about Jackson being in
college without me, Like I just it's the world, it's
everything else, it's all the other elements that just scare me.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Can I tell you something that y'all gonna think this
is funny, But I don't think it's funny. I think
the world is better now than it it's ever been.
Think about it. We've come from world wars, apartheid, genocide, slavery, right,
think about all of those things that happened, right that
those are the worst atrocities that happen.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
Right, Well, they're happening in other parts of the world
now still.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
But I'm talking about where we are, our our world.
I'm not saying that America is a perfect place. But
what I'm saying is we are learning as a people
from history, and people are trying now not to duplicate
the same things that's happened in the past. I think
part of the problem is social media has put us
to the point where anything negative that happens goes on
social media and it gets sensationalized. Could you imagine if

(57:02):
social media existed during slavery? How bad the world would
have looked. Could you imagine if social media existed during
World War One? Could you imagine if social media existed
when Leopold was in Africa killing eighteen million, twenty million Africans.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
You see what I'm saying. It's like where we are
relative to where the world was in that moment, it's
nowhere near us. Gruesome.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
Think about the Crusades, right, the Christian Crusades. They were
just going around killing millions of people in the name
of God.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
The world isn't as bad as it was then, but
we're living in and now when we get to watch
in a real time so and the reason why I
say that's not to say that I think the world's
in a good place. It's really just to say, we
have a responsibility to teach our kids to be better.

Speaker 1 (57:45):
Agreed, you know what I'm saying. And if we teach
them to be better, all of us the world will
be better.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
That's ultimate topic. Yeah, Yeah, as we round out this
before we pay some bills. The last thing that came
to mind for me was this past Christmas. Jackson wrote
a letter to de Valini for Christmas, and it was
a three page letter that he wrote. I think it

(58:11):
was like after his Bible clash or something. But guys
like Devalini sobbed when we read this letter because it
wasn't only just you know, me being a grammar police,
the way it was constructed, the way his thoughts were
so like put together, and then the way he expressed

(58:34):
his understanding for what it means to be a parent
raising a child. Yes, Matt got to read it like
blown away by my thirteen year old, and the way
he was able to express himself and the candor and

(58:54):
the eloquence in that letter was like unlike anything I
had ever seen, and it just made me feel like
we're doing a great job. The thing we're doing a
great job protect Jackson at all costs because he's just
such an amazing individual. And I'm so inspired by my children,

(59:15):
but him being the oldest, and I see how much
like he's working to be the best version of himself
in every aspect of life. It's like if that's the
beginning of what our legacy looks like. Dap me up
ellis left it. Thanks, y'all. All right, before we start sobbing.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Talking about it, I'm gonna crying. I'm not crying. Let's
take a podcast a couple of times, a couple of times.
You see how I brought that together, masculinity.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
Let's go take a quick break, and we'll be back
with listening letters. Y'all all right, and we're back with
listener letters. I hope by now you guys have figured

(01:00:10):
out the new email address, you know, so that way
you can write in and hopefully get picked.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
I got to put this out here first.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
I fully got dressed first, and I know y'all see
us matching, right and before y'all think look at the
vow dressing like Kadeen.

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
Nope, I put this together first. I was ready first,
and was ready first.

Speaker 6 (01:00:27):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
So the funny thing is right, I'm like, oh, now
that like I'm trying to get addressed for the podcast.
Since we're doing it new, I was like, let me
just start like running out some stuff in my closet.
A that didn't fit me before, Henny that fit now? Okay,
it's fitting and yeah. So when I saw her dress
this morning, I started. I said, let me start at
the top of the closet and work my way this way.
And this was like one of the third or fourth

(01:00:48):
outfits that I saw, and I was like, she fits
and she matches, So yeah, I did. Yes, I matched
your fly today.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
I inspired her.

Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
You did?

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
You inspire me every day? I'm sure.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
I'm sure.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
Back to the task at hand, Hey, Kadian.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
Devil, that's always a task at hand. Don't get it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
This is this is just ancillary shit we're doing here. Hey,
Kadeian Develle love the practical adulting and relationship episodes the most,
and I have no dating life or experience by choice
to bring up anyway. I've been going through some monumental
changes in the last few years and have some incoming
financial comfort. I still live in my childhood home with

(01:01:35):
a sibling and their child, since our parents passing as
soon as they can, as soon as they can handle
the property. I'd like to live alone in my late
twenties in New York City before a man and family
enter the picture. I have no idea where to start,
and there seems to be some shock or confusion from
our extended family about us or me doing so in

(01:01:56):
the near future. My credit is good already invests, have
a profitable side hustle slash skill. I make good money
for a single young woman and very little expenses or advices.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
This is sounding good, trible eyes perked up.

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
I my eminent financial situation may allow me to become
a home owner in my own right, but not sure.
The landlord life is for me seeing how bad tenants
can be, and that responsibility is what I want a
break from Any advice would be appreciated. The roommate thing
is off the table, and staying home is no longer

(01:02:35):
comfortable for me. I'm ready to see who I am
without family in the next room, up the block and
around the corner.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
I understand her on this. I have very quick advice.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
Right, I would say, right now, the interest rates are
extremely high and everything is high, so it's about to
be a seller's market. I would save as much money
as you can in the next upcoming months and buy
a property as opposed to renting, because all you're going
to do when you rent is give your money to
fund someone else's dream. Hopefully, over the past couple of
years you've saved so that you can put a down

(01:03:08):
payment ten percent on something a condo in New York.

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
Getting a condo in New York is.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
Gonna cost you up eight hundred thousand dollars, so you
figure ten percent of that means you have to have
eighty thousand dollars in the bank.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
And if you don't have that, I wouldn't move to
New York. Now, if you want to.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Rent in New York, a nice apartment anywhere in New
York is going to cost you over four thousand dollars
a month, which about forty eight thousand dollars a year.
So think about your choices before you make them. Living
in New York is one of the most expensive places
to live is New York in California.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
So those are just some things you have to think about.
But I would.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
Definitely go to buy something before I rent if you
don't want to have the responsibility to pay someone else's bills.
But I do understand that being a landlord is troubling.
That's why we chose not to be a landlord in
New York. Being a landlord is New York one is
the hardest places to be a landlord because when someone
gets there, they don't pay rent. It's going to take
you six months to a year to move out, and
if people start to squat on your land, it takes

(01:04:04):
them even longer to get out.

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
Absolutely, I wouldn't do no properties in New York right now.
That's just my take, right.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
I mean, if you were going to purchase something in
New York, I would say, then you live in it
and not get it as like an investment property where
you're doing rentals. But it seems like you have your
head on pretty straight bood, like you got your adults
in a row, you know, and a lot of times
you got to kind of wait till the right move,
like not just jumping into something because you feel like
you're starting to get a little uncomfortable. But if you
have everything set up.

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
She said something that you said before that she said
that she wants to live on her own without a
man or kids before she gets married.

Speaker 3 (01:04:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:04:36):
I agree with that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
Caudeina and I both say if there was one thing
we could do differently, just by choice, to learn ourselves,
it would be before we moved in together.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
She would live on her own and I would live
on my own, just so that we could see what
that feels what it felt like. Yeah, we've never had
that as adults, but I.

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
Think us trying to be adult in our thinking and
trying to be wise at the time financially, it didn't
make sense. If we're together, we want to be together.
It's like, why would I go get an apartment, then
you get an apartment just for the sake of saying
that we have our own apartments essentially probably stay in
either majority of the time. It just didn't make sense.
It's like, why not just pull our resources together and

(01:05:14):
live in one place and pay one rent, you know.
So that was what we did. But yeah, in hindsight,
we're like, it would have just been nice to have
a little bit of that. You know, here's my place.
You can come by. I'll give you a key maybe
maybe maybe maybe.

Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
I wouldn't need a key, get the door, cost need
a key. Trust me, I'm like trouble, I find the
colde and I be in your.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
Bes before you.

Speaker 5 (01:05:36):
Too.

Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
You go walking in, like, I don't worry about that
four floor.

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
I'm happy, I got strong arms, I'm happy here, good
to see you. That's how you absolutely would be like that.

Speaker 4 (01:05:55):
I know that, so.

Speaker 3 (01:05:57):
Listen and it would change pretty much so good luck
to you in your future endeavors. It seems like you
got your head on street. As my grandmother would say.

Speaker 2 (01:06:07):
All right, so if you'd like to be featured as
one of our listening letters, email us that els advice.

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
That's th H E E L L I S A
D D I C E at Gmail.

Speaker 3 (01:06:21):
All right, y'all, moment of truth time. We're talking about legacy.
I guess at this point in its totality, not specifically
having to do with money, but knowing that that will
help to give you some autonomy over your life. So
what's your final thoughts on that I got.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
I got a lot of thoughts, but this one thought
really came to my mind after we had that discussion, is, man,
I just don't want to fuck my kids out. MH
like legas legacy. Everybody thinks legacies. I did this, I
won this many I made this much money. No, man,
I have four beautiful humans that came from us too,
and I really just don't want to mess them up.
I want them to be strong, free, powerful black man,

(01:07:00):
and to me, that's going to be my legacy. All
four of my boys lined up doing whatever they want
to do in life, having autonomy over their time and
space and everything.

Speaker 1 (01:07:09):
And that's just that's what legacy means to me.

Speaker 3 (01:07:11):
I love that. Yeah, for me, it's just being more deliberate.
I think as our boys get older, speaking specifically about
our family, just being more deliberate about the things that
I want to pass down to my children, the things
that I want them to know and to see and
to feel when they think about who am I? Who
am I as a person? Where have I come from?

(01:07:34):
You know, as my parents get older now now having
lost actually yesterday it was the one year university of
my grandmother passed and my last living grandparent, and I
just think about the richness of my culture and my heritage,
and like how much they've taught me, those experiences that
I've had with them, the things that I know will

(01:07:56):
live on. What happened?

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
Remember I asked you two days ago, I said, Mom's
walking around with a heaviness, Like, what's the matter, Shoot,
Grandma's passing.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
Yeah, I didn't think about it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
I'm thinking about myself like grandma past, not even thinking
about how mom my mom.

Speaker 9 (01:08:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
I didn't realize the day either until yesterday I was like, oh, shoot,
we were actually filming and I was like, oh, shoot,
today is the one year anniversary since that my aunt
called me and I was like, oh, yeah, I think
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
I didn't I didn't put together.

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
Yeah, it might have been the approach to to this,
but yeah, So just just thinking about how much how
much I am because of the legacy that was instilled
in me through my grandparents and my parents, and then
how fortunate we are to have my parents here with
our children, your parents here with our children, so that

(01:08:50):
they can tell the rich stories and they can, you know,
learn the recipes like popa scoop and making sweet potato
pies because all the boys love this wee potato pie.
But that, for me is also legacy wrapped up. It's
not just about the financial portion of it. It's about
the richness of who we are.

Speaker 7 (01:09:10):
For me is to keep building the capital to give
my kids the freedom, give my my wife and kids
the freedom in the future, and then also collecting more
thinking about more cultural moments and things of that nature
that I want to pass down in the future for me.

Speaker 8 (01:09:27):
Got kids right now, I like, yeah, yeah, My My
moment of truth is if you aren't thinking about legacy,
you just think about uh my moment of truth is
if you aren't thinking about legacy, you're only thinking about
short term and you're only living in a moment like
that is that is?

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
Yeah, that's really good. See Josh was be coming with
the concise points and he'd be like, I don't like
to be on camera.

Speaker 9 (01:09:52):
That was good.

Speaker 6 (01:09:52):
Bro's over there asking chat GPT.

Speaker 8 (01:09:56):
We first off, well, first off, first off, if I'm
not Secondly, I didn't really get to talk about legacy
in this episode having Victoria, so I think about legacy.
Legacy is a constant conversation in my household, and I'm
constantly thinking about my own legacy because I don't want
to poison my daughter with my bad habits, So I

(01:10:18):
think about it constantly, constantly, And Victoria she's a mirror
of myself and Annika, and she's her own person.

Speaker 4 (01:10:25):
So I'm constantly thinking about legacy.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
So no, it's not Chad GBT you a question, the
serious question though, So you think about her being a
wife and how she's going to be, like the type
of man she chooses.

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
When you say you don't want to poison.

Speaker 8 (01:10:38):
All of that, I'm thinking about the type of wife
she will be, the type of earner, she will be
the type of person in society that she will be,
and I don't want my bad habits to rub off
on her. She said something last week, she was making
a video whatever, and she's like, this is my parents.
They're so overprotective. And I was just like, I didn't

(01:11:01):
want to ruin her video. But we had a conversation. Well,
I talked to Nika afterwards. I was like, yo, Victoria said,
we're overprotective. And then I had to have a conversation
with her because I don't want her to be a
fearful person in life because we're overshadowing her.

Speaker 4 (01:11:15):
But I had to correct her. I said, Yo, we're
not overprotective.

Speaker 8 (01:11:18):
You have a cell phone, right, Like you watch almost
anything that you watch that's age appropriate, right, Like you
know you you go on.

Speaker 4 (01:11:26):
Playdas with your friends, we take you out. You're not overprotective.

Speaker 8 (01:11:30):
I said, what you what we are is protective of you, right,
And I don't want you to misconstrue that with being overprotective,
because people who are overprotective, I know you see them
when they get to college.

Speaker 4 (01:11:41):
They on girl wow.

Speaker 8 (01:11:45):
And having a daughter, you're thinking constantly, thinking about the
things that the decisions that I make, the things that
I say to her, the way that I acted, I
treated her mom, the way we treat each other is
going to literally have an effect on her because it
is a direct representation of what she sees every single So.

Speaker 4 (01:12:02):
Legacy is constant.

Speaker 8 (01:12:04):
Anika talks about it almost almost to a fault because
you know her own like how she grew up her
parents right, and we want Vitoya's life to be easier
than what we had, and we want Victoria to make
her children's lives easier than what we made for her.

Speaker 1 (01:12:20):
So I want to touch on that of what that
looks like.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
Yeah, a father to a daughter, because I only know
from a father to a son, and sometimes I'll say
the kay, like you do realize how you behave is
how the kids are going to view women.

Speaker 1 (01:12:36):
So their ideas of what women are supposed to be
coming from you.

Speaker 2 (01:12:39):
Hearing you say that from a father to a daughter,
I could see how like that's a lot of pressure
because you're hoping that your daughter at some point gets
in front of a man or deals with the type
of men and she understands what.

Speaker 1 (01:12:52):
The type of protection looks like and what love looks like.

Speaker 5 (01:12:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
And it's different for boys because I can hit my
boys in the chest and be like, man, you can't
do that with your Yeah, yeah, I want to.

Speaker 1 (01:13:02):
I want to ask you after I ask you some question.

Speaker 4 (01:13:04):
There was a quote on Instagram.

Speaker 8 (01:13:05):
I'm sorry, I want to make this too long, but
there was a quote, but there was a videos on
Instagram and it was the the joy of the daughter
or the future of the daughter. Her happiness is a
direct result of how her mom is, like how her

(01:13:26):
mom is, her mom's happiness. And I think we had
a conversation about this.

Speaker 12 (01:13:32):
While I.

Speaker 8 (01:13:35):
Want to make sure that I'm not making my wife miserable,
so my daughter doesn't become miserable, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:13:42):
It's a crazy concept to have, But.

Speaker 8 (01:13:46):
Victoria's Victoria's direct influence from women is her mom.

Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
It's not a crazy concept. It's the truth.

Speaker 2 (01:13:53):
I said the same thing, right with single moms who
raised boys, who end up raising the type of boys
that the fun boys are, the same men that they hate.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
It's the same thing. A dude has a responsibility.

Speaker 2 (01:14:02):
You have a daughter, Your daughter is going to end
up dating the same type of dude you are, because
that's all she sees is a man. If you a
fuck boy, your daughter's gonna end up with a fuck
boy unless she has a mentally strong mom who points
out the fact that that's not how all men behave.
But then even in that, you're her father, her mom
saying anything, you're still her father. So it's interesting to

(01:14:24):
me because now I'm thinking about the type of women
my boys will bring home. I hope they have the
type of father in their life that's going to show
them what it means to be in a relation, you
know what I'm saying, in a relationship.

Speaker 1 (01:14:35):
We talk about this with our.

Speaker 3 (01:14:36):
Sons, right, and I'm like, hey, have mothers who take
care of them. So it's just interesting to.

Speaker 1 (01:14:41):
Hear a father's perspective your daughters like that. We know
we've talked about that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
I want we should do a podcast about that, triple
Can you write that down, because I'm really starting to
see a big thing with now. I see why daddy
issues matter and people think that it's it's just something
that people say, but it's not. It's not like how
girls see men directly correlates to their father. Same thing
with sons and their mom.

Speaker 8 (01:15:06):
I'm here to change the legacy that Triple has for me,
I think I need to rely on chat GBT to
generate my own thoughts.

Speaker 3 (01:15:19):
Coming back to you, Triple trips go round out the
moment of truth anyway, So.

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
Get them back, Triple go ahead, No chat GBT. This
is all t r I b B l.

Speaker 3 (01:15:30):
Bbld tvvy BBL TRIBB.

Speaker 6 (01:15:35):
I like that's a hit.

Speaker 3 (01:15:36):
It is.

Speaker 6 (01:15:39):
Legacy. My moment of truth is.

Speaker 5 (01:15:41):
Lately I've been thinking about even if I don't become
a parent, there's a lot of uh kids in my
life that I do have an influence on. I have
nieces and nephews, my friends, my close friends have children
who look up to me.

Speaker 1 (01:15:56):
So yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:15:58):
I try to do my best every day and leave
the best impression that I can at the people that
are watching.

Speaker 3 (01:16:04):
So yeah, because they're always watching them little kids, they're
always watching. They're always watching. All right, y'all be sure
to follow us on Patreon if you have not, shout
out to our Patreon Ganggang, we Love you. You can
see the after show there, as well as more exclusive
Ellis ever After content and family content. Don't forget about that,
and you can find our new Instagram page. Please follow

(01:16:26):
if you haven't Ellis ever After on Instagram. You can
find me at Kadeen I am.

Speaker 7 (01:16:32):
And I am Deval, I am at Underscore Matt dot Ellis.
I'm sorry people, just click click on the.

Speaker 4 (01:16:41):
And I am Joshua Duane as j os h U
A Underscore.

Speaker 5 (01:16:45):
D W A I N and I'm at tribs the
Cool tri I B b Z. That's cool on everything.

Speaker 2 (01:16:52):
And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate,
review and subscribe.

Speaker 1 (01:16:56):
And as always, we gonna be Dad.

Speaker 3 (01:17:00):
That's my baby.

Speaker 4 (01:17:02):
God.

Speaker 5 (01:17:05):
Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, production
by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashawan Rowe.

Speaker 12 (01:18:09):
To gift.

Speaker 2 (01:18:36):
To the

Speaker 12 (01:19:01):
Wit and Wait you