Manifesting Greatness Kendall Kyndall & Crystal Renee’ Hayslett

Devale always says, “There is a delusional quality that all successful people have”, and that delusion is the vision that only they can see for themselves. The Ellises invited their friends, and fellow superstars Kendall Kyndall (Social Society) and Crystal Renee’ Hayslett (Sistas) to share the delusions they’ve had when reaching for their dreams. #DeadAss.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
If I could think it and I say it, I
believe it. And if I believe it, I could do it,
and I believe I could fly, you can't say I
can't say that. Shoot dead ass. Hey, I'm Cadine and
we're the ellis Is. You may know us from posting
funny videos with our voice and reading each other publicly

(00:23):
as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need
derby most days. Wow. And one more important thing to mention,
we're married. We are. We created this podcast to open
dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most
folks don't want to talk about through the lens of
a millennium married couple. Dead as is the term that
we say every day. So when we say dead ass,

(00:45):
we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth. Were about to take phillow Talk
to a whole new level. Dead Ass starts right now.
Still every time, story time, story time, I'm gonna take
y'all back too, should I can do multiple stories, but

(01:09):
I'm gonna take you all back to two thousand and eighteen.
We were in Los Angeles and Kaden and I went
E P LP P N LP and we met this
young man right and he came over. I didn't know
who he was. He ran over to my wife and
he was just like and then my wife was like,

(01:32):
I was like, uh, because I know who this niggle was.
He turns out to be Kendle Candle. These two hugging
and stuff, and I'm like, you know each other? And
then you know we met on I G I'm like, oh,
so you don't know him, but you hugging him, you
feel like, you know, I feel like you know people. Uh.

(01:54):
Kendall was like, hey, we should get up. I'm gonna
take y'all out to dinner. So I was like, oh,
he taking all of us out to dinner. I like
this guy. So it was me you Sakari trip my
brother's birthday. Yeah, he was madly. I think I've seen
I've seen videos of that. She was crazy li and
then um we went out to dinner and I was like, yo,

(02:15):
so Kendall, what do you you know? What do you
want to do? And he was just like, man, I'm
an I'm really focusing So I like doing the social
media stuff, but I'm gonna focus on being an actor.
I want to be on television and I want to
have my own talk show Fast Forward. Can Do is
a series regular on Games People Play and has his

(02:37):
own talk show, Social Society. When talking about Manifestation, I
gotta talk about my man can Do. That's where we at.
Now it's karaoke time. I'm gonna bring you out over
to our other guests, who was also a Queen of
Manifestation because she is in Atlanta. She started out as

(02:59):
a musical artists, so I'm gonna let her bless us
with her vocal skills because y'all tired of hearing for
me struggle saying karaoke every week. You're not tired of me,
but my karaoke trash. At least I know what I
own it, and I own I owned it too. I
already told y'all. At least you know in prior seasons
we had like Melani Fiona on and stuff like that.
So when somebody can sing in the house, they say

(03:23):
so Ms Crystal, when they Hazley, can you please bless
us with your vocals? With my vocals, give us a
good karaoke song? What you got for Manifestation over there?
You want the vocals, okay? Because when I picked that,
I was gonna show you my wrapping skills. That's an

(03:45):
easy way. That's what I do because that's a fact.
Give us something, give us some gospel, give us something inspirationally,
give us something inspirational. Truth is okay, here we go.

(04:11):
U made zeeing grace? How sweet the side the sage?
Oh me? How once? What was love? But yeah, I

(04:49):
wasn't feeling shot. The bullsha shout out came on stage.
I lost, okay, but now I'm fine. Was bund but

(05:14):
now see, nobody gets to beil. Hey. Today we are

(05:36):
talking about manifestation. Yes, um, the reason why we brought
you to one here in particular is because your stories
are so unique. But also, um, they epitomize what manifestation is.
I mean, I want both of you to tell your
stories because you came from a corporate structure and in
your case, you're working with the government, and the decided

(05:57):
to pretty much just see him out, just you know,
going out on your beliefs and your thoughts and just
taking a gamble, and of course it worked out. But
I want you to talk about why you think it
worked out and what you know, the the trials and
tribulations of believing in yourself so well, first they need
to introduce themselves and all that stuff. I want to die.

(06:23):
I get it, I get it, I get it. Um.
So yeah, we'll give you guys the opportunity to just
introduce yourselves. If people aren't familiar with you, um, you know,
tell them where you We'll give you the handles and
all that stuff at the end, but just tell them
what you do, and you know what you're doing, all
your amazing things, where you come from, all that good stuff.
Latest I don't go for Okay. My name is Chris
Dorna Hazelid. I am a series regular on Tyler Perry

(06:47):
Show Sisters, and I'm also a singer. Um. I do
a lot of different things, some little jack of all trades.
But yeah, Fatima team Seamen. All right, I'm Kendall Kendall.
I am a series regular on Games People Play on
b ET. I also have my own talk show, Social

(07:11):
Society on All Black streaming every Monday. I'm also an influencer. Um.
But you know, I'm an actor, I'm a host, I'm
a brother, I'm fun yeah easy yeah. And he's also
my children's like one of the most favorite people. Anytime

(07:31):
Candall comes by to visit. They're like okay, and he
buys like great gifts because the kids know how to
get him on Amazon's guy last time he was a
cast cast made him buy some bubble machine last time,
and I showed it, showed up at the door. Cast ellis,
I'm like, wait, a second cat has been on my
Amazon account. No, he's from Kendall Like okay, yes he did,

(07:55):
and it broke. So you see what I mean. You
look at Uncle Kendall coming through one too. It's affect.
It's on the arm. It's like a little you know what.
I love it though. I love it well, whether you
call it manifestation, the law of attraction, or just being
blessed and highly favored, the power of naming your goals
and your desires and letting your faith do the work

(08:16):
is very real. And I feel like everyone here can
attest to that in some way, shape or form. So
we brought our two good friends here today to prove it.
Kendall and Crystal have two amazing stories about how they
pretty much manifested their dreams, took a took a step
out on faith, walked out on a limb, and went
from surviving to thriving with an unwavering belief that they

(08:41):
could do so and tell us what drove them there.
So I love y'all, thank you all for being here today. UM.
One thing is devoted are very purposeful about UM is
having people in our spaces that we feel like we
can feed off of the energy, we can exchange energy.
I can't see Crystal little it there, but UM, sorry

(09:02):
your big heads in my way. But we're very purposeful.
And it's one of those like cli shaped shape terms
where you find out like where people say, you know,
birds of a feather flock together, or showed me your
friends and I'll tell you who you are. UM. But
I feel like as we've gotten older, UM and just
being more aware of who we are, we prefer to

(09:22):
protect our energy and then also be around energies that
we don't necessarily always pulled from, but we can pour
into each other. So I feel like in any facet
that we've hung out, whether it's just having a good
time out or y'all just come in kicking back in
our house and chilling. Because also two were very particular
about energy in our house with our kids. UM, we
trust that you two always come here with the utmost

(09:43):
positive energy and um, not expectation but the utmost positive
well energy. Yeah yeah cool. So we love y'all for that.
We thank you, and we want to talk about y'all stories.
So kindle, let's start with you. Tell us about you story.
How do you manifest the life that you Wow? So
it's crazy. Two fifteen, I was doing homework. Um. I

(10:07):
went back to school because I stopped going to school
because I was working in the job that I felt
I was in HR. And I ended up getting the
job UM through class a business class. We had to
do resume and I was like okay, and I got
the job at quick and long, like I'm not going
back to what I was. I didn't want to do HR,

(10:31):
but I felt like, hey, this is something I could do.
I know how to do it. Um, I really wanted
to do communications. My dad was like when I went
to kinds, like, you don't want to do something that's
a little you know, that's always the way it works.
It low medicine. Yeah, and that's what I did. Predental

(10:52):
hated it, every bit of it. I'm like, all right,
speeding up to two thousand and fifteen, I was like,
it has to be more life. I've always wanted to
be in the industry, but I just didn't know how
to do it. Um, I prayed about it. I did
and then you know how sometimes you're just driving me
like lord, I just at the time, I'm like, I

(11:13):
just want to be famous. I just want to be famous.
I'm over this. So, um, Love and Hip Hop was on.
I was doing homework. I switched, I went back to school,
switched my major to communications, and I only had like
a year to do so Love and hip Hopson, it
was towards the end, and in my mind, I'm thinking,
what am I going to do? I got three months?

(11:34):
What am I going to do? And I kept praying
about it, and I kept saying like, I'm getting out
of here. I don't know how, but I'm getting out
of here because this office is not for me doing homework.
Love and Hip Hop. I do a video boom go viral.
Oh shoot. I'm like, oh shoot, how many follows? Seven
hundred followers woke up and like six hours with five thousand.

(11:56):
The next week I had ten thousand. So they was
just grown in twenty thirty a week and I was like,
whoa in the year, like almost a year. I was
like at a million followers and I'm like WHOA. So
of course BT reached out and I kept doing those
videos and I didn't know why, and I was like,
why am I doing this? But I'm not gonna stop.
I stayed consistent, right, so I took so I took

(12:21):
that and I was like, okay, um, I was doing
those little morning videos where I was screaming to the
top of my lungs, y'all. I was doing those little
morning videos because I hated the office and it gave
me like it was like my coffee was adrenaline pumping.
And when I got out, I was like, I'm not
going here and attacked this day. Um. But I remember

(12:43):
saying this, like I'm not gonna always do this. I'm
not always gonna be driving to this office like something's
getting ready happen. I don't know what it is. I
just had this feeling and I just kept saying, I'm
moving to l A. I'm moving to l A. And
manifestation is attraction and belief. So I believed it and
I attracted it, and in a year I moved to

(13:05):
l A. Now we l A. When I got to
l A, I said, okay, I'm here. Hit the ground
running in a year, I'm booking a row. I'm like,
if I did this, if I said I'm moving to
l a want, Yeah, that's it. I'm doing whatever I want.
I was like, I'm booking a row in the year
I booked a row. Games people play and I was like,

(13:27):
that's when I was like, whoa. Okay, the power of
the tongue is real. And speaking positivity not negative, well,
I mean even the power for negativity. Speak negative, They're
gonna come true. So you got to make sure you
speak positive. Yes, So like you were saying, I was like, Okay,
I'm gonna have my own show. I ain't gonna be

(13:49):
sitting on this couch, but every Monday, and now I'm
sitting on I'm still sitting on the couch, but I'm
sitting on the new couch in the studio. That's the fact.
Every Monday. Social society, Yeah, I mean, and the vow.
You got to be careful because the people that you
hang around will manifest some ship for you too. It

(14:13):
was all good because the vow was like you move
in to Atlanta. I'm like, if you don't get out
my face, you have to understand that Kendall's love for
l A runs deep, and actually we ended up moving
to l A as well, and you were so happy.
We were so happy because we're like, at least we're
gonna be near Kendall. And we spent many of days
with you coming over to visit and all that good stuff.

(14:34):
And then the pandemic hid and then it was like damn.
But we spent so many nights and days at the firepit,
like just talking, talking about what to do. But one day,
one thing I did say when we were around the
fire pit is as much as I didn't want to
come to Atlanta, I said, if the money reside there,

(14:54):
I'm coming. And so I'm here in Atlanta. But I
believe that guy put me here be because my support
system these two right here. Like I have a big brother, right,
but the VOW is like a big brother that I
never had because me and my brother were close, but
we don't have that relationship like me and you. So

(15:17):
I will call the VOW in a minute, like, Hey,
I need a financial advice, and hey, what do you
think I should do about this? So if y'all left
me in l A, I probably would be lost because
the fact that I could drive to Calibasas and now
I can drive out here. You know it's I needed.
I probably needed to be here. And we have the

(15:40):
same manager, the same manager. And speaking of our manager,
she was like, You're gonna flourish in Atlanta. So I'm
trying to embrace it. Embrace it. It's an adjustment. I know,
I say things about it. It's not that bad, but
it's funny to hear those things. Yeah, I mean that's
what people feel like when they first are taking out

(16:00):
of a comfort zone and then thrown into another situation.
There's gonna be those moments where you feel like, am
I doing the right thing? You know? Well, speaking of
comfort zones, I know you got thrown out of your
comfort zone, Crystal, did I tell us tell us quickly
about your story, because after we hear from your story,
I want to hear about how you're able to get
through things. I know you had some tough times. Thank
you first moved, so I want to hear how you

(16:23):
made the decision. So. Yeah, So I am from a
very small town Martin, Tennessee, about ten thousand people. And
it was a place where you had nothing to do
but dream, if that makes sense, because there was nothing
there no shopping mall, just a small college town. Yeah,
a few stoplights. And growing up, I would stand on

(16:45):
the fireplace man like this behind us, and I would
have a little highlighter in my hand, and I would
give acceptance speeches. At five years old, I would give
acceptance speeches. And I think some things are just like
planted in children, even when they don't realize why they're
doing it. And um, what to college in my hometown.
Got an internship in Washington, d C for for our
state senator, and end up getting a job right right

(17:09):
about what was my last semester of college. So I
finished online, moved to d C. Big difference from Martin, Tennessee.
Big difference on my first rat I was like, I
thought it was a cat. I was how the walk
around with the people they do? Oh my goodness. And

(17:31):
moved and it was a big culture shock. And stayed
there for about two and a half years. And it
was two thousand and eight that I realized that I
did not want to sit behind a desk similar to you.
I did not want to sit behind a desk anymore.
I was going to move to Atlanta and pursue my
music and acting career. I called my uncle up who
lives here, and I said, hey, uncle, I want to

(17:52):
move to Atlanta. Do you have an extra bedroom that
I could stay in? He said, yeah, you can stay
with me. And literally went from UM, a well paying job,
benefits and everything, packed everything up, moved to Atlanta, drove
my UM Volkswagen Jetta down here. Listen. My mom was like, well,
just pray about it. Already prayed out the door and

(18:17):
UM got down here. Did not have a job, said
that literally had this I'm talking about faith y'all. Did
not have a job set up. I just had a
place to lay my head. That was it. And um,
I did have a good support system at the time.
Q Parker from the group one twelve was interested in
helping me with my music. So we worked on stuff
and I started kind of networking and making my way
around the city. And then it just it was really

(18:39):
tough because as a young woman trying to break into
the music industry, such a male dominated industry at that,
it was so hard and UM, trying to keep your
morals intact and standards and saying, okay, I'm not gonna
do this, I'm gonna do it the right way, and
things just never. I never really broke that ceiling to
or even busted through the door for that. And um.
At the same time, I was doing that ground work

(19:00):
for different films. UM. I remember I was on the
set of some the R two and it was raining.
I was background sitting under a tent and if he
a comes outside and he goes you and I go me,
and he's like, yeah, you come here, and I'm like okay,
and Will Packer, who was now married to my cousin, says, um, hey,
we want you to play pots girlfriend. He's a senior

(19:22):
in college, he doesn't have a girl. We want you
to play his girl. And I was like okay. So
so many relationships with Bill just off of that come here, yeah,
and that um shows just the humble beginnings and not
being afraid to start off him saying as a background,
some people that you can just get there and that's
not how it works. And UM. From there, I was

(19:42):
still doing music and a friend of mine was like,
you kind of got a knack for fashion, you should
try working in costumes at the studio. And I was like,
I need a job so great. So I started off
as a public I mean as a production assistant, UM
at Tyler Perry Studios in two thousand twelve and worked
my way up through the costume department. Went from um
P A to costumer for background, went to set costumer,

(20:07):
and then became the key costumer. And then I was
working on another film because by that time people kind
of knew about and they were like, oh, we got
another film you want to come work on. This was
like yeah, it was a new Jamie Foxx movie. I
was like, yeah, I loved big fan of Jamie Foxx.
I would love to come work on it. So UM
did that and then I get a call from the
back from Tyler Perry Studios and I'm like why they
keep calling me? And I'm like something else having fun

(20:28):
and we're on hiatus, we're not shooting things. I didn't
know what they were calling about. So UM Finally when
I got a break, I was like, hey, I got
a call from the studio and they're like, oh, yeah.
It was Azzy, the president at the time, and I
was like a bold and they were like yeah, so Tyler,
I want to know if you would be interested in
costume design in the shows. And I was like what
costume design? And like I'm having fun just showing up

(20:50):
and being like, what I do? Okay, cool, that's a
lot of responsibility. So um, I thought, I said, let
me think about it, which is probably not what most
people would have said. Yeah, I was like I need
to think about it because I was comfortable, and so
I ended up taking the job. And fast forward to
a few months later, I get a call from Tyler
himself and he's like, hey, um, I was actually an

(21:13):
Amsterdam doing some fun things. So when I got that call,
I was like Tyler, I was like, amazing, grace I was.
I had to snap out a real quick when I
heard Tyler. I was like, Tyler Perry, yes, hello, Yes,
this is her, like very professional, And he was like,

(21:35):
so I want to revamp my wardrobe and I wanted
to know if you'd be interested in helping with it.
And I was like okay, yeah, cool. Having me flying
back to l A where he was at the time,
and UM met with him and then started I kept
getting calls from his people saying, hey, okay, Tyler's going here.
I'm like I was just his Yeah, I didn't know
what it was going on. So we're a Jimmy fallon.

(21:57):
I'm like, okay, I'm Jimmy Fallon right now. This is
crazy putting his shoes on and he's six six, so
I'm looking. I'm like, so what are we doing? That question? Like,
let's take this relationship. What's going on? And he was
like my stylists and I was like okay. So, UM
that lasted for five years and I stopped. UM. I

(22:20):
stopped auditioning, and at that point I was starting to
get callbacks. The directors was knowing who I was. So
it was a cross roads, like do I keep going
for this dream or do I go work for Tyler Perry.
So I'm getting older and you know the stigma and
the industry about women. Yeah, so like all that in
my head and I was like, hey, you know what,
I'm just gonna go work with Tyler. Did it? And

(22:41):
UM did not audition for anything for five years and
UM Sisters came about. Fast forward to two thousand nineteen. UM.
I was there for the basically the birth of Sisters
and was brought on as a consultant producer because it's
about young women in their thirties dating and I was
like speaking right, still wasn't thinking about acting, but as

(23:05):
the scripts came and I was like, whoa, Like, these
are my stories, these are my girlfriends stories, Like this
is my voice. Why am I not on this show?
And that's when the like that burning like fire that
likes you to really go do things um came to
me and I was like I just called him and
I was like te like this is it and he

(23:25):
was like, well, he had no idea I wanted to
act all those years he had known me, had no idea.
I had auditions for stuff for a TPS, never got anything,
and um, he didn't even know that until last summer.
He was like, you did what I said, Yeah, auditioned
for two things. He was like I never knew that. Yeah,
So um, here we are. Series went from ten episodes
season one, like would you like some coffee? Hid like

(23:51):
a whole like twenty episodes and next season I'm like,
well then like we're making series regular. And I was
like whoa, wow. So this is this part of the
reason why both of you and because your story is
are so different. Your story took like a decade. It
is to disbelief to now this conception of where this
inception of word is now, but yours was like overnight,
like and I want people to hear both sides, because

(24:13):
people think manifestation is one way. You know, people people
think that oh if I manifested, gotta happen tomorrow, or
some people think that it has to be a hard,
arduous process, but it isn't. It's just whatever your process is,
your process. So Kendall, when you were going through this
process where you ever like worried that it wasn't gonna
workout or you were just like definitely the whole time

(24:36):
preparing to go to l A, I was nervous because
I always say this. I was scared of losing the
fifteen and the thirtie that's the days I get paid everything. Yes,
and then also um benefits, health benefits. So I'm like,
how am I going to do this? And how am
I going to afford to live there? But I still

(24:59):
was saying I'm going just going, Yeah, I'm going. I
don't care. Like I had those fears, but I was
going outside. I figured it out and like you said,
this fire that's up under you and it as much
as I was saying what if, what if? What if,
it never stopped me from packing my boxes and saying
that I was going, Um, I think I just got

(25:21):
to a point to where I just stopped having fear
and started actually really tapping into faith. And I didn't
do that until with my thirties. Well I was thirty. Yeah,
that's when I thought I was thirty. Before that, I
was not tapping in the faith. I would hear it,
and you know, you would say it, but um, I

(25:41):
actually started believing. And when I did that, I just
had it was like he had his hand on my back,
like you're going regardless of you asked for what you're going,
and I just was believing. Um. So you would say
it was like pretty much solely your faith that drove that.
Man is definitely my faith, definitely, um. But you had
times where you second guess yourself because I get a

(26:02):
lot of d m s and emails from people saying, Hey,
I really want to do this, but I don't know
if I can. Is me second guessing myself saying is
that the way of my my spirit telling me that
this is informat or is it a form of self
sabotaging my thing is? I've felt those times, but I
had to like talk myself out of it. Have y'all

(26:22):
ever felt a moment where you're like something that's saying
I shouldn't do this, where you have to verbally say
out loud like no, I'm doing this because I've learned
to do that when I work out, like when I
want to quit, like I'm at the end and it's
getting hard, I'll say to myself, let's go, Ellis, let's go, LS,
You've got this, And when I verbally speak it, then
I feel that energy come. Has there been moments for
y'all where y'all have had to do that honestly? Well, yeah, definitely, Yeah, yeah,

(26:48):
I would say that. Coming to Atlanta, Yeah, I was like,
it's the times I wanted to tell to know I
don't want to do it. I don't think I want
to do this, But I just had to keep saying
you're going, You're going. But the back of my head
was like I don't want to go. I don't want
to do it. I don't want to do it, but
I kept saying you're going, You're going. Um. But going

(27:09):
to l A, I never had this, never, It was
no doubt at all. Ever. It was my only thing
was I'm scared of how I'm going to afford it.
That was the only thing. And I had people in
my ear saying it's too expensive out there, like my granddad,
it's too expensive people people. Yeah, and then it's all
these people like, oh it's too expensive. Oh you're not

(27:30):
gonna fit in. And that's what made me want to go.
I was like, I gotta go see for myself. Expect definite,
and I do that a lot on the ground when
people say things and my d m or in my
comments like they used to say, you all you're gonna

(27:51):
do is sit on that couch. Okay, okay, let me
show you something I've been in before, because you've been
there before. Absolutely, how do you get through those moments
where you where you feel like you don't know if
you can what do you do? Um? I think and
you can probably relate to this as a former athlete
competition like we are talking yeah, yeah, I was a

(28:16):
competition cheerleader, and it didn't matter what was going on,
like you keep going, you know, like your arm is broken,
bones popping out, finished the routine. So I think with
that it started off as a young girl, that's always
been embedded in my brain so that even when things
start to get hard, I'm like, no, you got this.

(28:36):
You didn't start, you didn't even get to this point
for no reason. Keep pushing, keep pushing. But I'm not.
That's not to say that there weren't times where it
was really hard, you know, broke and like scrambling for change.
Just yeah, yeah, Like when I moved here and didn't
have a job, like I literally was like I had
a support system, but it was just I was just
getting by, you know. It wasn't until I got that

(28:57):
first job. Shout to Divine Stevens, who is a big
arts development person. He's worked with everybody from like us
or two I can't, let's goes on, but he gave
me my first job out here working behind the desk.
It was another desk job, but it was at the
arts Development center, so I could go upstairs and work
in the dance studio. There was a gym next door,
so it was still like in the realm. And that's

(29:18):
when I started trying to put myself in places where
like it was getting me to where I was trying
to go in some type of way. You gotta plan.
Did you have a plan? Definitely had a plan. So, okay,
I want to talk about this because people people always say,
like when when you have a dream that has to
be all you see, there can't be no plan B,
because plan B only the turns from Plan A. I

(29:41):
tend to differ because Kadena and I always had dreams.
But I feel like, because we wanted to have a family,
our plan A had to encompass, you know, our ability
to provide why we chase our dream And I try
to implore people to to utilize that asset. You know,
you don't just quit your job if you don't have
a plan. And you had a plan, you had a plan,

(30:02):
And I want people and even Codeine. When Codeine was
working at MAC, she wanted to quit her job to
be freelanced. But if she quit her job, we wouldn't
have health insurance. And so we made was like this
money is gonna reside. It's supposed to. But then but
then then put the onus on me and like you said,

(30:22):
that fire underneath you, Like, I hate this situation that
I'm in right now. There is no other way than
to leave this situation and then do what I gotta do.
And then that the fire under me to the point
where I was like, okay, so the vale has health insurance.
Now now I have flexibility over my schedule. I'm gonna
build this makeup. I'm gonna take every wedding. I'm gonna
take every photoshop I can. Now I have flexibility with

(30:43):
my child. I can stay at home when I need to.
And then I was making tons more money. Then I
was sitting behind that counter all day. Didn't just jump
out the w So the first thing we spoke about
was man manifesting it, believing it. So we believed it.
Then we created a plan. The next thing is followed through. Right.

(31:04):
You talked about people in our life. We've always heard
people say I can't do that. So I always have
people ask me questions, what about your friends and family
who don't believe in you? I tell them, expect people
not to believe in what you see, because if if
it was their vision, everybody would do it. You can't
expect people to see a vision for you that's gonna

(31:25):
make you great, because if if it was just a
regular vision that everyone can see, it wouldn't be considered greatness.
That's like the windows story you told me about before.
People can only see the looking at what was something
I gave. I gave an analogy. I gave an analogy.
I'm trying to explain to my my young men, and
our mentor about having windows in your room. Right. And
I use this analogy because they grew up in One

(31:47):
of the biggest things they were concerned about in Brooklyn
was prison or dying. So I said, to imagine that
you're born, you and another young man, two young men,
I said, imagine that you're both born, and you're born
in prison, because ultimately, when you're born, your mind can
be a prison. When you don't know things and you
have fear, you imprison yourself to your environment of what
you see. So you're both born in the prison, and

(32:09):
you're both born them cells right next to each other.
One cell has a window, one cell doesn't have a window.
Every day you both get out of this prison and
you go amongst the prison population and you live your life.
One prisoner says to the other prisoner, man, when I
get out of here, I'm gonna do X Y Z.
And the other prisoner laughs, like what is that? Like,

(32:31):
how do you even believe that you can do that?
You're never getting out of here. There's nothing out of here,
It's just prison. And the guy said, why do you
believe that there's there's just nothing in here but prison?
He said, that's all we see the cells and the prisoners,
and the other guy goes, you don't have a window
in your cell, and he's just like, nah, don't, what's
a window. So now you start to realize that these
are two people born in the same situation, but one

(32:54):
has a window and one doesn't. Because this person has
division to see other things, he can see greater for himself.
I try to tell people a lot of times, your
vision is because of what you see. Don't expect other people,
even if they're right next to you, to see what
you see, because their perspective is different. So when they
tell you I can't see you doing that, don't be upset.

(33:14):
They don't got no window in their room, and don't
don't let their ideas of what you can do hinder
you from believing you you can do something because you
saw it. If you believe it and you saw it,
then you can do it. And a lot of the
kids were like, dang, I never thought about it that way.
I said, it's the truth. That's life. And a lot
of people's opinions come with being either tainted or jaded
by their own life experience. So something may not have

(33:36):
panned out for them. They're trying to tell you their experience,
which they can because that was their experience, but it's
how you then take that with a grain of salt
and they continue to move on. During my UM come up,
when I was still in Detroit, I had to remove
myself from a lot of those people because they were
learning my vision. And I said, Okay, it wasn't that

(33:57):
I wasn't done with them, but I just had to
step away because I was just yeah, and I had
to put that. I was putting this plan together, and
it was like it's like I was building these blocks
and they kept coming and trying to knock them over,
and I'm like, hold on, you get back. I'm gonna
have to keep you at a distance. So, UM, I
removed some people on my way, and I still think

(34:21):
they kind of like they're not around, but you know
what I mean, when you're going to the next level,
we can't take everybody. They're probably like, damn, Candle actually
did that right? They actually did that? Have you had
people you had to move on? Um not move on
to some similar what you said, like certain things just
can't talk to everybody about, you know. And then but
my parents were very like safe and get to go

(34:42):
to school, get an education, get a good job with benefits.
And I was always the risk taker. I wouldn't say
black sheep of the family, but like literally like I
can do whatever. I didn't care what it was. I
can do it, Like if I cheated. My mom didn't
like my outfit. I literally was like, wh I like it?
She was like this girl is crazy. Like I didn't

(35:04):
care what anybody thought, and now I'm tying Tyler Perry shoes. Literally,
So it was more so that I remember working on
the hill. A friend of mine came in, He's like, hey,
we got some opportunities for you to work on Obama's
first campaign. I was like, yes, I'm count me in.
It's paid, let's go. My parents like, m I don't

(35:25):
know if that's a good idea. You just you've only
been there for a year with Senator Alexander. I think
you should stay really big on loyalty, which I respect.
And they were like, we're not really I mean, we
want him to win, but you think he's really gonna win.
I'm like, yeah, yes. After that, they were like, we
will never tell you what you can do. We've all
been there with our parents and parents, so many things.
My parents have told me like that's never gonna happen.

(35:49):
Don't ever listen to me. My father only believes me
now because I'm not broken, homeless, you know what I mean.
I think at this point he finally gets it, like oh,
because at first he was like YouTube, who is YouTube?
Who pays you? So YouTube PAGs you would check that's
a person place your thing. I'm like, it's like all
this stuff, it's just crap. And then now wait until

(36:11):
you pull up pops in the driveways. Let me get
you that gate access. Okay, how about that? So I
didn't tell my dad anything. His friends, I guess their
kids start showing their parents like isn't this Kendall Son?
And then they go to work it's like, your son,
it's funny, did you see this something? My Dad's like,
what's these videos? And I'm like I don't know. I'm

(36:36):
like I don't, I don't know. I was like, I
just do some this just for fun whatever. But at
the time, I was getting booked for things and I
wasn't telling them, and then he was like, what is
this you did for b et? I started telling him
and I was like, now it's time to tell him,
because if he see it, then he would leave it.
But if I went to him and said this is
what I'm doing, it would have been just like going

(36:57):
to college, like here's my residence. It's like when I
went to college freshman year. You probably should think about
that major. He probably would have told me, you need
to think about that. You know, you you got a
job and stay well, you got benefits. He would have
asked me everything in the course of what are you
going to do about health? I'ma're probably gonna be the

(37:21):
same way. Absolutely, you're gonna be a little different. I'm
not gonna be like my parents. Concern for making sure
that they're making that decision. Just having that concern, that's
what I mean. And not enough that my parents never
shot me down when I told my parents especially, and
this is one thing I'll say about my pops. Me
and my pops have our issues, of course, or father

(37:42):
and sons. Dude, when I told my father I wanted
to do something, he had my back. When I wanted
to walk on to college and I walking there with
the coach and the coaches like, I don't know if
you can play here. He was like, you know, we'll
give you a partial, you gotta earn the rest. And
my father looked at me and said, you think you
can play here? I saw, I know I can play here.
My father said, my son can play here. We'll take

(38:02):
the partial and earn the rest. And it was like, damn,
my pops believed in me. And then I had to
realize that my pops and my mom's are the ones
who put the window in my cell because they showed
me other things like they showed me things that they
exposed me to different things, and that's what I want
to do with my children. You grew up in in
a small town in Tennessee. Every sum I used to

(38:24):
go to Morristown, Tennessee. So many of those people, even
if they see me on YouTube, say hey, I remember
you come to Boys and Girls Club. I didn't know.
I had never thought about doing all of this because
when you come from a small towner, from a family
who only sees things one way, a lot of their
fear comes from the fact that they haven't even seen
anything else. But um that that also leads me to
something that you both talked about was consistency. Right. You

(38:46):
talked about doing videos consistently even when you didn't ever
want want to come from it. You talked about consistency
doing background. I've watched Coldean be consistent do weddings when
she didn't want to do weddings anymore. Let's talk a
little bit about how important and it is to be consistent,
especially when you don't reap the benefits of your manifestations
early on, because that that doesn't it doesn't come like

(39:07):
it's not I'm manifested tomorrow make money. Talk a little
bit about the consistency I mean, being consistent. Like I said,
with the videos, I just kept doing them and you
weren't making money right away? No, I was not. How
long was it before you made me? A year and
some change? So you was making videos consistency, consistently? How
often every Monday? And then the morning videos at the

(39:31):
beginning was like every day ever since. I was going
to work every day, and that was mine like I said,
that was my call. Yeah, it was bringing people to
your PA, was bringing people to my page. And it
was also motivating people because they saw, you know where
I was going. Um and then yeah, it was about
a year two thousand seventeen. So I started in two
thousand fifteen, the end of two thousand fifteen November and

(39:54):
then two thousand seventeen February making videos everything. You know
that mine, that's my story too. I was making videos
every single day and videos a day without making no money,
and that's when we have fifteen seconds we have. I
was getting everything out fast. Yeah, yeah, I was getting

(40:18):
everything out of fifteen seconds like um, and then I
just stay consistent with that and then um, I want
to fast forward to me doing the cocktails and rowed.
So I was doing those and I wasn't making any money.
I was just making these videos, um, making cocktails. And
then fast forward months later, boom, because I was staying consistent,

(40:42):
I got some brandal and then hey, can we send
you this? And then from there that's when the brand
deals came. So that's important for people to understand two,
because they'll make two and three videos and they won't
have no following and nothing happens, and then they stopped.
This ain't working because they don't have any patience. You
just heard a whole year without making any money, consistently

(41:03):
making videos every day and then sometimes two videos a
day because you have to make a video for the
weekly and a video for the day. I was making videos,
two and three videos a day doing Oh my gosh.
They used to hate. We'll be in the middle of
something and I'd be like, wait, wait, wait, this is
a video, and she'd be like, oh videos. It will

(41:25):
be at the most inopportune time, like I got my
head tie on, mid diaper change, breast leaking, and I'm
like devout. I'm like, this is funny, this is funny.
They're gonna love it. She used to be like, I
hate you, I hate you. Get the video, Get the video.
And she was even taking the kids. We had a
whole argument for Halloween because I wanted to do a

(41:45):
Halloween video and Ki was just like, I was gonna
take the kids out and trick a treat and I
was like, we can trick a treat, but we can
record it. So even in the middle of the trick
a treat and they'll be going to drive like stop,
let me get this, and she'd be like, gods, go
to the car, go to the car. That we the
two of us out here holding the candy corn things

(42:05):
and bags, dressed like well, I forgot what you was
dressed as like a fairy and I got Donald Duck
up on me in the middle of Brooklyn are you
impointing fingers and stuff, the kids looking out the window
like what's happening? Then we get the video done. Now
look look and Gruz you was doing how long were
you doing background for? UM? I didn't do it for
that long. I did it probably probably two thousand and

(42:27):
ten to two thousand twelve, So two years you did background.
You were a stylist for five years, which you did
not want to do, but you were consistent because building
the relationship was important. It was important. And then even
being like I said about trying to when you're working
towards ago, trying to put yourself in making money in
the arena of where you're trying to go. So me
working on said, I was constantly studying the Tika Sumters.

(42:49):
I was studying Cicely Tyson, Felicierus, Shine will Be Goberg,
Chris Rock. When those people coming, I was like sitting
there literally watching them sponge and higher time. So that
was very important, UM. And that was part of the consistency,
you know, not losing sight of what I wanted to
do and always making sure because I could have gotten like, yeah,
I'm just here to dress people and not been paying

(43:11):
attention and staying consistent and studying. But you were smart though,
And I want to bring this to our last point
before we get to listen to letters, finding a way
to turn that manifestation into monetary value. And you said
about choosing to find something in the arena of how
you're making money. That's part of your plan. We talked
about a plan. How did you do that? Because I

(43:32):
did the same thing with with Omori and yeah, when
you took a stunt double job, I was in conservatory
two years at Esper Studio, but I needed to make money.
Then I got asked to do a stunt double for Power,
and I was like, wait a minute. I could be
in a class and learn how to act, or I
could be around actors. And at the time Power was
one of the top shows on cable, so I was like, okay,

(43:53):
I get to be his stunt double. I get to
sit back and watch how we lead a bleeding black
mail does his job. So I decided to leave Conserva
Tory to get paid to be a stunt double. I
never wanted to be a stunt double, but it was
like something I chose to do. So talk a little bit.
I want all you guys to talk about the choices
you made to find a way to make money while
pursuing your passion. Um first choice was taking the pH job,

(44:16):
because you know, that was literally going back. At that point,
I was like seven, starting all over again. Go and
get coffee. And it was like, hey, I'm going to
be seven, getting coffee, running errands, um, doing all the
grunt work, making cold calls, trying to get brands to
give us clothes. Hey, this is Chris Lazier calling from
Tyler Verry Studios, like doing all that, and but it

(44:37):
was just making sure that I knew what I wanted
to do. And even when Tyler called me and asked
me to be his style, and I was like, dang,
like I just got my first callback, you know, huge.
I'm like they actually liked me, you know. And then um,
I just wonder, like in my right because you know,
that digging me and it's like right there, it was

(44:58):
the gold. It's like if I right there, and um,
so I just I was like, you know what, let
me just build this relationship, you know, And and I
was still being crazy. I'm a creative, so Stalin was
I'm still doing something I love, so it wasn't like
I was losing, you know, And I would pray all
that God order my steps because I used to be like,
I want this, this, this is, and they tell us

(45:18):
be very um, be very clear on what you want,
ask for what you want. But then as I got older,
I was like, you know what, God just ordered my
steps because I know whatever you have for me is
far beyond what I have for myself. And look at
my life now. I could never have imagined that my
first show would be a show that I'm producing. And
now one of the starts of like that doesn't happen,

(45:38):
you know, so it doesn't happen. Like that's very different.
That's part of the reason why we brought you, because
I was extremely different than you ordered it. Yeah, but
you did put the work in. Yeah, a lot of
work for a long time. Ten years. There's a saying
takes ten years to become because now people like, oh
my gosh, and all the stuff I was doing then,
like I just posted a video that I like in

(46:00):
two thousands and people were like, yeah boo. So everything
was ding dong because she was getting her master's degree
and look Wookie for agent receiver, like look at this, Dirwin.

(46:21):
It was literally the same year that show came out,
two thousand seven. I was going to the second people
like they just took your life and put your life
on U p N Like, Yo, this is wild. But
talk to us. How how did you find a way
to turn that manifestation into money and continue to monetize
your dream because you moved to l A with no job. Yes, so,

(46:44):
um well I had a plan, right, you had a plan.
My plan. I kept working until I felt like I
couldn't work anymore because I was getting booked. I was
getting booked, I was doing Um oh, so you were
still working at your job and getting Yeah. I used
to say in my little mornings, I write, y'all, I'm
back in the you know what it is. I'm like,
y'all know, I'm a celebrity on the weekends and during

(47:06):
the week And people used to because they always ask, like,
wait a minute, you was just in l A and
then here you go Monday morning at seven am driving
back on the few. You do that. Now, that's important though,
because that also shows consistency, that shows passion but work ethic.
You were driving, yeah, well I was. I flew. I
would fly to l A. And then I would have
them get me a red eye and then when I land,

(47:29):
I would get back in at like six am. I
would go home shower, but before I left on Friday,
I would have my clothes ready for Monday because I
already knew what was up, and then I will shower,
put my clothes on, go to work, do my lip.
More than see, those are the things that people don't see. Right.
People get an opportunity to watch you now and say, oh,

(47:50):
he did it, I can do that. Are you willing?
Oh he just did videos. But he just did videos.
He was still working and had a job. It was
finding time to do old until he could leave one
and pursue the other. And so many people say that's
not the way you do what. You gotta leave you
job out the window, just fly there. No, you don't
ever just quit your job. Make sure you have a

(48:11):
plan and make sure you saved. Because I was still
um surviving off my checks and I was paying my
rent off my checks and whatever I was doing, and
then the money that I was making from the bookings,
I was putting it up because I know, at not
doing another winter in Michigan, I'm getting out of here,
and I saved all my money because I didn't know
how long I would be without a job for money,

(48:33):
and I know how I wanted to live, and I
know what I wanted to do right I had to.
I had how I wanted to live and what I
wanted to do in l A while I'm there, and
um so I saved all my money and then it
camera time. June did to bet Awards. My boss saw it.
She was like, come here. When I came in, I

(48:54):
was like, but in my head, I don't think it.
I'm like, hey, this is it. Hey, I'm ready. If
I got to go, I got yeah, and she's like,
close my door. I'm like, I closed it. She turned
around and she turned her chair around. She did this
and she smiled. She was like how long I got?
And I was like, you asked it. Yeah, it's kind

(49:20):
of August. She was like, give me to September. I
was like, September, that's it, because um I got to
be in l A by October. She was like, wait
a minute, so you already had that. I said, oh yeah,
my lease is up in October. I'm out of here.
And she was like, okay, give me to September. I
want to do something nice, but I gotta go out
of town. I want to come back and do something
for you. So I was like, okay, UM, got to

(49:41):
l A. Now here's the thing I am. I getting
ready to make money because I'm in l A. I'm
in this place that I don't know nothing about. I
don't know where to go. Um. You know you both
of y'all know those brands will reach out to you
on the ground. And I was doing my videostiersistent with
my videos. Even though I'm moved, I'm still doing them. Um,

(50:01):
people like, hey, can you mention my brand while you
do your videos? Definitely? So you know, with Loving hip Hop,
I'm talking about weave and everything. So I'm talking about
hair glue, flippers, people sending me clippers. So that's how
I was making my money until I figured out, okay,
I'm getting classes. And then also with BT, I was

(50:23):
doing a lot with BT and just being around those people.
Robbie Read. She was like, so, what's what's your vision
what you want to do? I was like, I want
to ask. She was like, you want to act? I
was like yeah. She was like I didn't know that
this whole time you know, you will come up. So
that's when Robbie started. She kept me on the radar
and she will send me auditions until finally she was like,

(50:44):
are you in class? And I was like no. She's like,
you need to get in class because you're green and
you need to know technique. He need to get a
scene study. And I did that, and she hit me
a year later with the games people play and I
didn't think I booked it. I didn't think I've you
hear nothing from him. I was like no. And then
I was getting ready going home for Thanksgiving. I'm driving

(51:05):
and she like, hey, Kendall, you booked a roll up
m J. And I just like I was one. I
was like wait what she got out? I just started crying.
And then I was driving home to screaming out the window.
I'm like, that's what the fun, That's how you do that,

(51:26):
you know. I'm just I'm like the same thing you said.
I'm like all the way home, I'm like, I don't
believe I did it, And um, but you took direction
as well. Yeah you know what I mean. Getting the
advice from Robbie go into the classes. You did everything
you did? Yeah, I did and it was hard because
sometimes I was going to class, like some days class
was litting. Some days I'm like a struggle, and I'm

(51:49):
like I felt like being on set. Once I got
on set, I learned more on set, but also I
took a lot from class, especially like breaking down that
wall the wall, and then also um substitution. I used
that so much like when I got to be mad,
I just think about things that happened in my childhood.

(52:10):
I just I take it there. See, it'sn't point for
people to hear that too, because people think that once
you make it, or you make a certain level of success,
you don't have to work to grow anymore. And if
Will Smith can still take classes, if my one of
my favorite actors, Adrian Lennox one of Tony Awards, she's
my aunt, shoutouts on Adrian. She still takes classes and

(52:32):
she's I think she's going to be in her sixties
in the late fifties. Why can't I take classes? In fact,
when I finished first season, I went straight back to
Aaron Spiders and Shotton Sturgis. I was like, Okay, I
feel like I was good, but I wasn't great, So
I went right back to her. I hit up Any Grimly,
my acting coach, because I'm like, okay, I need to
be better. And then we got picked up for a

(52:53):
second season. I hit them, I went back. I'm like, okay,
I gotta I gotta, yeah, I gotta get ready. And
I do see the difference between last season and this season.
Right now, Um, I got a chance to be serious
because everybody put me in for the punch, like we
want him to come in and give us the punch lines.
We know we're gonna laugh. I'm like, I can do

(53:14):
more than that. Let me just show you. And I
finally had a scene. I can't really tell y'all, can't
wait till you see. I was like, smellow, watch party.
Good for that. Oh my goodness, this was such a
great talk. I mean, we got to take a breakthrough

(53:37):
the patient bills, but we can bring all right. Cool.
So yeah, we have listener letters. We're just gonna see
what these people writing about. We can get you all
two cents in on that and then we'll be back.
So we'll be back guys afterwards. All right, we'll back

(54:01):
listener letters. I want to see what these people have
to say that diving. You want me to read the
first one. I got it, you got it? Excuse me?
Read slowly and enunciate please, Oh she wild disrespect. I'm
not doing now, I'm not doing Sometimes I'll be randoling
you sometimes be stuttering on your listening to live, like, uh,

(54:27):
can I finish? Can I read it before? Now? Hi?
Codeine and de val? Is that enough? Annunciation? And I
currently six. Graduated from college back in two thousand and
eighteen with a degree in sociology, worked a few office
jobs in a coffee shop job when I thought I

(54:47):
wanted to focus on becoming a rapper producer, but I
hate performing and I'm not very sociable at least you know,
how about yourself? Now, I'm unemployed and living with my parents,
but in the midst of the enlistment process for the
Air Force because I don't don't know what else to
do with my life. I genuinely don't like who I'm becoming,
and I'm sure and what I'm sure the military will
turn me into. But I don't know what else to

(55:09):
do in this capitalist society. Wow. As much as I
hate the idea of money and what people will do
for it, I have to live within this system. Some
kind of way, and I'm not the type of person
that's really business minded or go getter. I feel like
threw away a lot of opportunities I had during college
being focused on romantic relationships and weed. What would you
suggest to someone in my position that wants to live

(55:31):
comfortably and with peace of mind but doesn't have that
hustler drive. Well, kudos do you for realizing that you
don't have any of those things that you know? Sometimes
people just being denial about where what it is that
they are, what they're capable of. Um, but do you
have any advice for this year old who's kind of
don't become a cop. I'm gonna say this right, and

(55:53):
it's not supposed to be funny. A lot of people
who don't know, are not sure about what they want
to do with their life, get into law enforcement, or
they go to the military. Right. Listen to how he
described himself. He's not sociable, don't like people. Some people
like that become police officers because that's the only thing
that gives them power, their part of something. But these
are the people that we have to deal with in
our community every single day enforcing laws. This is why

(56:16):
we have the issues we have I know they had
nothing to do with the question, but it really reminded
me of what we talked about a few days ago
of what type of people are becoming police officers. Sometimes
it's the type of people who they claim to be
the bad apples, but these are type of people that
need psyche vowels. Why are you becoming a police officer
if you don't like people, if you're not sociable, if
you don't know what you want to do with yourself.

(56:38):
I don't have a sense of purpose. Do we give
this person a gun and telling police people we don't know?
That's a whole another podcast, you know. And the reason
why brother, because he said he's going to enlist in
the air what happens when you come out of the
Air Force? And he also says he doesn't know if
he's gonna like who he will turn into or become
after being in the military. See, I need to talk

(56:59):
to him because I want to know why did you
enlist in the military, Like, what, what's the it is
that do you feel like that's your last resort? He
said he wasted time on romantic relationships and weed. So
it sounds like the type of person that knows they
want structure, but also want to be a part of something.
When you want to be a part of something, whatever
that culture is, you start to believe in it and

(57:20):
you become it's dangerous for people who don't know what
to be or how to be, and then it's become
of a cult because part of a culture that's so toxic,
you know what I'm saying. So that's why I broke
the whole police officer thing. But I mean, this person
at least has described some people I know now who
are cops like. And it's not even like a white
or black thing, because people think that when you talk
about a police officer, is a white police officer. No,

(57:43):
there are black, orange, brown, purple police officers who have
now believed in that ideology. But now we're given a
weapon and some power, and now we as black people
in our communities have to deal with those people. What
I would tell this young man is find out who
you want first. I would say, get some therapy, because

(58:04):
it's for him to talk so much about himself this
way and self do so much self loathing. I think
he has some issues he needs to deal with, but
I think he needs to find a purpose to you
know a lot of times you think about what drives someone,
what gives them that passion or that desire, Like I
feel like we each had a desire to do something,
you know, and then we manifested in the work towards it.
It's hard when you don't have a purpose, so you

(58:25):
don't know why you're like, why were you put here
on this on this earth? What are you supposed to accomplish?
Who are you supposed to touch? What are you trying
to achieve? So I think that's what he's lacking here.
Now he's telling everything, telling us everything that he knows
that he is or isn't, But what feels you? I
think he has to really do some soul church and
to figure that out. Intelligent though, he needs a squad too, Yeah, yeah,

(58:45):
he does some people. I got my squad. He needs
some people around him to help him, because sometimes that's
all you need, not all you need, but that's part
of it. And I feel like he really needs a
squad people he can pour into and they can pour
back into him and help him out. Like we bounced
ideas off of each other all the time, Like with
the book, right right, right, right right, very true, you

(59:08):
bounce our dias. You find out what's good what's not good,
but you have to have people in your corner who
are supportive. It sounds to me like he's a loner,
it doesn't He talked about fail relationships, not liking people,
you know what I'm saying. He sounds like he's a loner. So, um,
it would be hard for him to find the squad.
I just don't want him because he also said, um,
he doesn't know what else to do in this capitalist society,

(59:31):
which means he is aware of what's going on around him.
The one thing I would not want him to do
is just to go into a system and buy into
whatever that system is, you know, especially when so many
of these systems are sexist, racist, you know, and also
even though they're not capitalists, but they're also had their
own issues with within our society as well. So hopefully

(59:52):
that some therapy and find a squad first before you
buy into anything. All right, Number two, I love your
show and you both are such an inspiration to me.
Keep shining the way you do. Thank you. Um. I've
heard Devours say there's a delusional quality that all successful
people have a lot on the podcast, and I just
want to know. How do you train yourself to be delusional?

(01:00:15):
I work my job and hustle for my dreams, but
sometimes I get tired and fearful and even insecure. What
did you both do while coming into your success on
a regular basis to stay committed to the belief that
you could do, be and have everything that you want?
How can I do the same? Mm hmm. It's funny
because I don't know if you can necessarily train yourself

(01:00:37):
to be delusional. I think that delusional quality that Devot
refers to is very innate. There's like a fire, there's
a passion, there's that belief in oneself. That's the manifestation
that's me saying anything. I do anything, I say anything,
I can be anything I want. So I think a
part of that is innate. But I do believe to

(01:00:58):
that there are spaces and there are things, and there
are goals or dreams. That then also two can make
you delusional in a sense to like almost seeing something like,
for example, Crystal you being a background on a show
and then seeing you know, Whoopi Goldberg or whoever on
set while you're styling, and you're just like, man, I
can I feel like I could do that feel like

(01:01:19):
I can be that it's almost tangible for you and
that yes, you know what, do you guys think I agree? Um,
it's not. Yeah, I don't think. I think I definitely agree.
The delusion, the delusional that Devil always talks about, is
definitely something that's just kind of in people who dare
to dream, like we just there's something and as that

(01:01:40):
kind of blinds us from like the reality certain things.
We just like, no, I see that television, I see
what I'm going after, I don't see anything else. It
doesn't matter, you know, you just kind of black everything
we do. Like you said, looking out that window, you
just kind of you just see what's in that window,
and you you just you go for it. I would
have to say I think it's Nate, but I think
it's also something that was placed in me. My parents

(01:02:03):
did a great job of making me feel like I
can do whatever I want to do. You know what
I'm saying. They questioned some of the things I wanted
to do when I was younger because they didn't see it,
but they put me in places to see other things.
So when I saw it, I was gonna do that.
And then you know, they didn't see it, so they
was like, what you mean, you're gonna do that? But
they put me in that position. I think sometimes the

(01:02:25):
exposure as a as a as a youngster, because sometimes
so many people have so many insecurities is because their
whole life they've been told no, you know, no, you can't.
Like when I think about our kids, we had what's
what's Delane's the last name Delana Delane, which is my
family's name is Zimmerman is mm and Eliss Delna. Zimmerman said,
between five and twelve is where you have the most

(01:02:48):
impact on your children, right, And what you don't want
to do is you don't want to suppress your children's ideas, beliefs,
and thoughts by telling or projecting all of your insecurities
on them. Now was the best time to make them
feel like they can do anything and then feel empowered.
So I feel like from five to twelve, I was
in martial arts. I wanted to do basketball, My brother
want to do football. You know what my parents did,

(01:03:09):
they script whatever money they had together, that's what you
want to do, We're gonna do it. So I never
had any point in my life felt like I can't
do it. When my parents when we had Christmas and
I used to give my Christmas list, my father would
always find a way to get it. So in my
mind it's like, oh, if I say it and I
see it, I'm gonna get it because that's been my life,
even small things like Christmas gifts or trying to win

(01:03:31):
first place. So I feel like for adults, when you
get to that point, I think it's time for you
to start to reflect on why you have these insecurities.
You know, you can't really train yourself, but do some homework.
Speak to your parents, how was I raised? You know,
look at your surroundings and say what is it about
me that I'm afraid to dream? I think if people
did more homework on why they're afraid to dream, they'll

(01:03:52):
find more. Uh, They'll learn more about themselves and be successful.
Rather than saying, well, de Vos said to do this,
so I'm going to do that work for Devot because
this is what Devot does. It may not work for
k you know, or can do or Crystal you know.
So I think to do some homework. Do you do
some self reflection, find out why you're so fearful, and
that will give you the answers, don't oh gay, our

(01:04:17):
times coming to an end. This is an awesome, awesome
sit down, and I feel like there was so much
more that we haven't even touched. But I feel like
as we all continue to grow together, we're gonna have
more stories to share. UM, We're gonna still be finding
more ways to pay it forward and give back because
that's also a very large part of the manifestation process

(01:04:37):
I believe is as you get in abundance, UM, as
God continues to provide for us in abundance, we have
to continue to be of service to others. UM. So
that's very big for me, and I feel like that's
the only way we're going to continue to thrive and
to grow as if we help people along the way. UM.
So thank you all so much for coming. We're going
to roll into our moment of truth. But before we

(01:04:57):
do that, if you would like to be feed shared
as one of our listener letters, no okay, UM, If
you'd like to be featured as one of our listener letters,
be sure to email us at dead as Advice at
gmail dot com. That's d E A D A S
S A d V I c E at gmail dot com.

(01:05:18):
Almost got tripped up because that was actually my moment
of truth talking about being of service and paying it forward.
So I kind of jumped the gun, but I would
like for y'all to share the moment of truth for
us is pretty much something that sums up the episode.
So we spoke about manifestation, we spoke about faith, we
spoke about work ethic. So if there's even a mantra
that you want to share or um something that you

(01:05:39):
tell yourself, some kind of positive affirmation, anything that sums
up the show that you'd like to leave our guests
with for the moment of truth, I would love for
you guys to share, so we can start with whoever
is ready? Um mine is? I say it all the time.
Don't be afraid to be amazing. I have to say
that to myself whenever I started feeling fear, um don't

(01:06:00):
be afraid to be amazing. It's been plenty of times
since I've been here where I'm like scared to do
something or and I'm like, wait a minute, yeah, you
know better than this. Don't be afraid to be amazing,
Go do it. And once I do it is like,
you know, it's like them like, yeah, that's what I thought.
I like that. I like that. Yeah, I like that.

(01:06:21):
Here we go. I like that. How about mine? Is? Um?
Your living is in your giving? And that's something that
was taught to me. Um. Actually Andy at the studio
calling one day and he was like, I don't know
why God put this in my heart, but you're going
places and I just want you to always remember that
you're living is in your giving. And that's something I've
carried with me Um since then. But it is. Yeah,

(01:06:41):
I mean, I'm gonna p for all three. I'm like,
why I put I wanted to say duck till piggy tail.
First of all, I'm not gonna be afraid to be amazing.
I'm gonna create a new word. I'm a piggy tal
or three. All right. I made this mantro my sophomore

(01:07:03):
year of college. Each day I worked to build a legacy,
not to be defined by my greatness, but by the masses.
I inspired to be greater than myself, which means you
gotta give, you gotta pay it forward. I can't be
afraid to be amazing, so love it. That's why I'm
going to piggy tail off for y'all. And then we're
gonna petail on out of here alright, So Kendle Crystal

(01:07:24):
both give us real quick your handles where people can
find you all that good stuff so they can continue
to support you, guys, um as your endeavors continue to crawl. Okay,
you can find me on everywhere Kendle, Kendle, k N,
d A L L K Y and d A L
L that's Facebook, TikTok, Instagram YouTube, when I get it

(01:07:45):
back up, come on, I get it back up. Also,
you can find me every Monday on All Black Social Society.
It's lit. The episodes are getting better and better. I
can't wait till next Monday. Say y'all can see it,
and I can't wait to be back. I hope I
watched our episode definitely okay. Um Also, games people play?

(01:08:05):
When is that games people play? We don't know yet.
It's either August or October right now, but it's looking
like October. We'll be back in October, so you'll be
able to find us. I don't know if it's gonna
be a Tuesday or Wednesday night, but we're gonna be
stay tuned and Krista Um, Yes, you can find me
on Instagram and love Christna and it's l u v
c R y s t A l r e n

(01:08:26):
e UM. On Twitter, It's I am christ rena Facebook
it is just christ Rene. And catch me on Sisters
on BT. Coming back to a TV near you on
June the ninth. I love it. Yes, y'all got a
name the Blue Lights girl? We got I can talk

(01:08:50):
about that. Yeah. Be interested because people always ask me, kitty,
how do you deal? Yes about and these seckly and
I'm just like, well, we should actually bring we need
to do that stuff, this recap or something, all right.
Be sure to find us on social media. Dead Asked
the podcast and who are you? I'm Cadena, I am

(01:09:13):
and who are you? And I am Deviound. If you're
listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review and
subscribe Dead Ask y'all. Dead Ass is a production of
I Heart Media podcast Network and is produced by the
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