PCOS with Candice w/ Candice Bolden

After struggling with symptoms from PCOS, Candice Bolden took charge of her fate and changed her life. Now, just months after having her first baby, her struggles are totally different! #DeadAss

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
There are just some people who cross your path, whether
it's virtually in person in a random happenstance, and you
just say, this person feels like family and something about
you made me feel that way.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
So pregnancy, having my first child, titties, we didn't know
they were gonna get this big?

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Are they gonna go away? Do they stay? What's the vibe?

Speaker 1 (00:31):
And because we're family now, Candice, I'm gonna give you
all the tea and listen. Sometimes that tea gets real cold,
real fast.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
So we're gonna keep it hot. Dead Assadas, Hey, I'm
Kadean and we're the Ellis's.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.

Speaker 4 (00:58):
Wait, I make you need their most days.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Sir, we are.

Speaker 4 (01:06):
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
li's most taboo topics.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Things most folks don't want to talk about.

Speaker 5 (01:13):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
We about to take Philosov to a whole new level.
Dead ass starts right now.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
So I'm going to take you back to November twenty fifteen.
At this point, my oldest Jackson was the only baby.
He was rolling around almost five years old. Daval and I,
after having a very traumatic birth experience with Jackson, really
contemplated is this a one and done or are we

(01:54):
going to do this again? Also, being in love with
that first baby, which you might relate to a psycho,
can you even imagine putting another child into this circumstance,
because how am I going to love another child as
much as I love my only child? Right? But we
did know that, coming from a family being one of three,
that we wanted to have more children. So that year,

(02:17):
early in the twenty fifteen round about say January February,
was said, you know what, let's give it a try.
So I took my IUD out that I had lodged
in my uterus because I said, maybe what you're not
gonna do is catch me slipping before my time. So
I went back to my oeg yn, I said, now's
the time, let's remove the iud. So she removed it

(02:41):
in March and we decided to just give it a try.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
So we're doing all the.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Things that we normally do, you know, practice, busting it
wide open, standing on my head top, doing all the things,
and a couple months were passing and just nothing, which
was odd to me because when I was trying for Jackson,
got off of my birth control pills in May, we
got married in July, went on our honeymoon as two,
came home as three.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Wow, that's incredible.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, so it was instant. It was like two months
after what's the trying phase? Like, you know, easy, easy,
So nothing's happening. We're reaching November at this point, so
that's from March to November, and nothing's happening. So I
say to Devallas, I wonder if something's wrong, and he's like,
what could possibly be wrong? You know, sometimes these things
take time, but as a woman, you kind of know

(03:28):
your body and you know that something's not quite right.
So I make an appointment with my oggi en at
the time, who I absolutely love and adore, and she said,
you know what, if you've been trying for about six
months now, typically we'll enter the phase of exploring infertility
issues after six months of trying, especially if you had

(03:49):
an easy time the first time. So I said, what's
the first sign, what's the first thing to do? And
she said, I'm going to send you in for an HSG.
Me to pronounce the word because it's a very long word,
but the acronym HSG is pretty much a test that
you go in for with in the radiology department where

(04:09):
they put dye, some c special dye into your cervix
and then eventually into your uterus. And while watching on
the monitor, they can see the dye going into your
uterus and then how it's flowing through your fillopian tubes. Wow, right, fascinating.
So essentially what we were checking for was blockage in
my filopian tubes and to kind of see what the

(04:30):
uterus was looking like, was there any kind of scar
tissue from the last delivery and all that. So I'm
on the bed and the technician inserts the dye and
we're seeing on the monitor that it's a very very
slow trickle through both of my tubes, the right one
making a little bit more progress, but the left one stopped.

(04:50):
So what that told us was that there was blockage
in my filopian tubes, which was probably impeding the process
of getting pregnant. So as I'm on the table thinking
to myself, you know what's next. How do we fix
this right without damaging it because that's a very fragile
part of the body. And the technician says, well, what

(05:11):
I can do is try to insert more die with
some pressure to see if it'll eventually kind of push
through the Philippian tube. So I'm like, okay, I mean
I'm here already.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
You know what I'm saying, like wide.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Open, while we're here, might as well give it a try.
And he's like, the only downside is that it's pretty painful.
Now at this point, I was feeling some mild cramping
as he was inserting the die, because you know, the
body will react if something's not supposed to be there,
it's going to come out, or it'll just cast some
porn of pain. And I said to him, I said,
I'm here already. Let's give it a try, because I
know at this point, like I desperately want my second baby.

(05:45):
So he says okay, And the nurse who was next
to me, she was a sispel. Shout out to this nurse,
don't remember her name, but she was so sweet, and
she just looked at me and she's like, everything's going
to be okay. And she kind of rubbed my little
shower cap that I had on, and she held my
hand and he said one, two, three, and he pushed
intense cramping. I just kind of my body tensed up.

(06:06):
But then he said, oh my god, look and I
looked up at the screen. It was like a fountain.
Both sides went completely flushed. Ohoh, completely flushed, right, so
I can see the die coming out through the ends
of the fallopian tubes. And he looks at me and
he was like, well, that was a success. He said,
give yourself about twenty four hours. You and your husband

(06:29):
do your thing. And he's like, this was like a Tuesday, I.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Believe, and you were ovulating. I probably was.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
I don't know probably, but I feel like if the
tubes were open, like anythink was going to happen at
any moment, right, So it was like a Tuesday. And
he's just like, give yourself twenty four hours and you'll
probably be pregnant by Friday. And he laughed and I
was like, Friday, he said, let's leave it in God's hands.
So I said, I agreed, So I went home to
the valasaid, we have twenty four I actually put it

(06:55):
to forty eight hours because I said, I know he'd
be ready to jump my bone hour twenty five till
I said yeah, I said, twenty four to forty eight hours,
do our thing. It was actually the top of the year,
so we were rolling into the new year. I think
my appointment was like on the second of January. We're
coming off of a New Year's you know, Eve party,
and we did did the damn thing, and like he said,

(07:16):
I was pregnant pretty much instantly. Oh and my Cairo,
my second baby, was born September thirteenth. Woww that sixteen
And I was just so grateful in that moment. But
I can emphasize with you when you realize something may
be impeding my parenthood journey. So we're going to unpack

(07:37):
some of that today with my special guest, y'all.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Stick around all right, karaoke time.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
So you know, as we do here on Dead Ass,
typically Deval and I will do karaoke together, but now
that we have a date with k I allow my guests.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
To pick the song.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
So my girl today has picked a song, y'all.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
I just feel like One thing about me is I
like movement, and I like songs that make me want
to move. And we're sitting in these chairs right, so
I'm thinking about a song that we could do a
little dance too while we're sitting down.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Okay, okay, do it. I'm ready, go ahead, I'm gonna
follow after you.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
And five six boom an alb and No.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
I don't know the words, but I know the vibe.
Ana lib.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Ana, that's all I got.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
Feel you go, I love it. Girl.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Listen, we're in the same boat because I want to
butcher a song, but what you're gonna feel is the vibe.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
It's the vibe. Don't you have Caribbean roots too? Yes,
that's why.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
And while I was delivering my baby, it was only
apro vibes in the in the room.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
I love it the whole entire time. That's what my
baby love.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
But we know the vibes, baby, That's one thing we
do as Caribbean women.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
You know vibes. Just stay high. We live off the vibes,
all right.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
So we're going vibe into paying these bills because one
thing bill's gonna do.

Speaker 3 (09:13):
Is kill a vibe. Okay, So let's go pay.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
Some bills and we're gonna come back with my special
guests today. I'm going to introduce her right after this
stick around, all right, So we're back with my beautiful
special guests today. I'm so honored to sit next to
you because I've been following you for a long time,
and at this point it's been long overdue. I feel

(09:37):
like we have so much in common, so many similarities
as women, as individuals, as moms, as wives, our husbands
have a lot.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
In common as well too.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
When when I see people who are pushing forward and
like minded individuals and just spewing positivity in a world
where people spew negativity all the time, I tend to
be gravitating towards those kind of individuals. You, my dear,
are one of them. So today I have the beautiful
Candace Bolden. Many of you may know her after seeing

(10:06):
her viral maternity video that was a remake of Victoria
Monaise on My Mama the video.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
Not only is Candace a.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
New mother, she is also a wife, content creator, professional dancer, actress,
and published author. Candas has used her diagnosis with polycystic
ovarian syndrome, which most people know as PCOS, to become
a warrior for those who live with it, and in
her book Living with PCOS, The Ultimate Guide to Managing

(10:34):
Polcistic Ovarian Syndrome, it's a comprehensive resource designed to empower,
to inform, and to support individuals diagnosed with PCOS, and
her organization, PCOS with Candace allows her to share her
own journey while connecting with and inspiring others.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
And she's a new mom.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
To a beautiful baby girl named Ocean Crystal Bolden our
old government. Yeah, because she's like my virtual niece at
this point. You know, I don't know that's about this
girl life. So every time I interview a girl mom,
or sit with the girl mom or in a girl's space,
I just I just love it. I just bubble over
with pride and with admiration.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
So welcome, Candice, Thank you so much for having me.
I'm so happy to be here, are you. And Ocean's
favorite blanket is the one you got her.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
I did embroidered.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
We love a good embroidery, we love a good customization.
And baby I saw it and I was like, Anna's
double sided.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
This thing is real cute, personalize me. That's how I
feel about it. You see, my same way. Right listen,
I'm the same person. I knew we were kindred spirit.
I can tell and I feel it.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
And I was looking through the blankets and I'm just like,
because I'm like notorious for that, I'm like, I'm gonna
someone's having a baby. I'm gonna send a blanket and
try to make it personalize. And the fact that her
name was Ocean, I was like, let me find a
blanket that has like ocean creatures, and it was like perfect,
It's so cute, so perfect.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
Then she loves it. I'm happy to know that she does.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
We brought it home from the actual hospital, like I'm
not I'm not kidding.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
No, she literally sent me a kitchen and she was
just like, look at the blanket. Ocean's coming. I'm like,
I'm a part of history.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
I love it. I'm a part of history. Ocean's history.
I love it.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Thank you so much for sitting with me, Candice. It's
funny pre show. As you came in and we're sitting
here and we're chatting, we realize that this essentially could
be like a two and three and four part episode
because there's so many different things that we have in common,
so many similarities, so many things to share, and I
feel like we're going to do our best during this
episode to kind of get through the meat of the show.

(12:27):
Typically on a day with k Or on Dead Ass Podcast,
we really aim to inspire to inform people. We believe
that sharing allows us to see how we all connect,
whether it's through good times, through bad times, through struggles,
and we feel like we're not the only one really
existing in that space. And typically, as it relates to PCOS,

(12:47):
I know that there are so many women who are
struggling with this syndrome, having so many different what's the
word that I'm looking.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
For experiences with their deal.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah, and different symptoms the word I'm looking for that
there's an array of symptoms that people are, you know,
existing with, and you have been able to successfully I think,
fight and win your battle with PCOS.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
We're still fighting it, we're still in it. But I've
definitely been able to get a hold, get a good
grasp on what's going on with my body that there
is even something really going on because a lot of
the time I was being misdiagnosed, just like a lot
of women. That's part of the problem. And now that
I'm on the other side of things. I'm tackling each
and every symptom that I'm dealing with individually, and that

(13:39):
has led me to be able to have the baby.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
And I love that. There was so much going on
to even get here.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
So you know what, take me back, Take me back
really quickly. Let's touch on your role as a wife.
So you met your husband at the time. How give
me a quick snapshot of the love story that is
Candice and Omar.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
It didn't start out as a love story, girl. We
were at the let out of the club and I
was waiting for my uber.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Okay, so it was the leatout, it was the letterut
we didn't see each other and it wasn't like you
staying trying to get in.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Oh no, no, no, we were the club, the club
two am, club's closed, everybody go home, called my uber.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
I'm standing at the curb.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Omar comes out and he Omar is my husband. And
he was with Duke. Now well not now, they were
best friends. And yeah, they came out and Duke had
a shoty with them. I guess Omar was playing wigman
with a shouty, but he was not having it, and
he said, apparently he saw me and came over and

(14:41):
I do remember seeing him.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
Losing words, like I literally was. He was like, hey,
what's up? Like what's your name?

Speaker 2 (14:48):
And I was like, so it wasn't an alcohol, it
was just oh no, no, the moment, it was the moment,
it was him. It was him one hundred percent. I'm like,
what in God's earth? And yeah, he my information off.
Then he took me to breakfast. He facetied me the
next morning at nine am. It's given intention, it's giving
your wild I'm not about to not pick up this

(15:08):
phone because I have no makeup on.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
You're about to see me, baby, baby, with no clean face.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
So wait, you were okay with him seeing you because
I was like, you're gonna see yeah good. I felt
like I put a lot of energy into my skincare
and and I didn't want to. I didn't want to
show him that I was scared of that.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
I love that for you. So that was kind of
like that.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
On our very first encounter, like date, I guess you
would say. He took me to the calf at Hofstu
University and he was like, no, are you hungry? And
I think most girls would be trying to be very
what's the word about using now demuic demure, very shy,
you know, And I was like yeah, And I was
just like, can I get a hero with like honey, turkey,
American cheese, like tomato, marrow, male pickles on the side,

(15:50):
baggage chips, run it ginger ale, like give me all
the things. And then sat on his bed and down.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
The sandwich and did your own thing and did my
own thing.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
I'm sure I'm peeling back the light years early.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
We were eating breakfast for three hours. You know, nobody
eats breakfast with now. Damn three hours breakfast is ready
to go, do your thing and get out in an hour.
We were sitting there for hours just chit chatting, and
there was another feeling like I was like, I feel
like I've known you already. We had no mutual friends
at the time, Like we didn't know. I didn't even
know who he was what he did at the time,

(16:23):
same as me. He didn't know anything. And right he
was fresh off the Super Bowl, by the way he
was feeling himself.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
I had no idea though at the time, because you're like,
I'm not watching football like that, Like I'm not watching football,
and nor do I care that you played football, because
I have nothing for you.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
I don't know the roles, still don't know the.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Roles the roads. So then fast forward, do you guys
date for how long? Then you get married?

Speaker 3 (16:45):
We've been together seven years?

Speaker 2 (16:46):
But when so, yeah, we were together four years before
he proposed, and then we got married last year like
almost to the date, which was six years at our
six year moment.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
And then yeah, we've been married for a year.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Listen, don't just be leaving married for a year. Yesterday
it was your first wedding anniversary.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
How was that? Why did y'all.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
Celebrate ocean having a sibling?

Speaker 3 (17:12):
What's happening? Wow, Tony, no.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
Pause on that part, because we're still in the traumas
in the trenches. We're in the trench, in the trenches
with this brand new baby. But for you definitely listen.
People's uterus and stuff like that. But hey, listen, we
want it's beautiful, we want another, but right now we
are still in the trenches.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
In the trenches.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
I understand, at what point now did you realize that
something maybe off with your body? Was it that you
guys were trying to conceive and nothing was happening or
was it more so you realizing that you had the
signs of PCOS but didn't really know. Did you have
a regular periods? Like? What did that look like for
you on your journey from diagnosis to curing.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Even before the diagnosis.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
I because I come from a performance background, I'm very
aware of my body where it's at at all times.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm a dancer.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
We learn in the mirror. I'm always in the little
crap top and little shorts. That's how I was raised.
We're doing all kinds of things, ballet, jazz, hip hop,
meaning tight clothing. I'm very aware of my body and
also when we have to do shows, I know how
to drop weight, usually super fast, and get to a
place of comfort for me to be able to do
what I do right.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
I've seen them legs girls, I said, can't as numb
leg I need the leg workout.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
It's those are my grandparents' legs. I can't even I
can't even genetic. That's my grandma. Shout out to my grandma.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
I love you.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
So Yeah. I was. I knew something was going on.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
With my weight, something had happened where I had just
completely just gained thirty pounds, like out of nowhere.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
So I'm thinking it's a weight issue. I'm annoyed.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
I'm doing all the diets, I'm doing two a day workouts.
I'm thinking, since I have a regular periods, I'm thinking,
first of all, I'm not talking to this. I'm not
talking about this to anyone because it's so personal, and
who's talking about their periods. I wasn't right, not with me,
not with my friends. I was actually taught to keep
that quiet. Yeah, and it's personal, it's private, and it's

(19:12):
kind of weird and gross if you really think of it,
like I didn't think to talk about it then.

Speaker 3 (19:16):
So my periods were irregular.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
I had crazy, uncontrollable weight gain that I couldn't lose
no matter what I did, which was very abnormal for me.
And also I'm well into my puberty years and I'm
starting to break out and get hormonal acne.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
Didn't think anything of it.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
And then also excess hair in places that I didn't
want it, that were not cute, and I'm like, oh,
I'm just Haitian.

Speaker 3 (19:42):
I'm just the Caribbean girl. We have a lot of
hair because.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
We all know about the mom and the aunt that
walks with the tweezer in the car and is like,
are you kidding whiskers and shit.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
That I do that.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
Still, it's part of it, so being grown and just
thinking that things were kind of normal, not really knowing
what was going on.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
But it was the waken that I never really because
I was like, I know how to fix it.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
I'm doing all the things and nothing's happening, and nothing's happening,
and I'm telling you eight week programs of two a
day workouts like it was no joke. And then the
diets that I thought was good for me at the time,
the diets did absolutely nothing. When I tell you, can't
lose it, and it sounds so vain. Another reason why
I didn't want to talk about it because I'm like,

(20:27):
there's so many worst problems in the world and I'm
not about to sit here and talk to people about
me feeling a little bit overweight, like it's just irrelevant.
Kind of just muting all these things, putting these stuffing
them underneath the rug, and also going to doctors and
being like, hey, I think something's wrong with me.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
I'm not really sure. You gave me a little test,
pissed on a stick.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Do all the things give me back my paperwork, and
they're like, girl, you're fine.

Speaker 3 (20:58):
You're actually really I was wanted to. They're like, you're
actually really healthy.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
So healthy you dance, yeah, you know, work out and
eat clean, You'll be fine, literally sending me out of
the doctor's office. I'm like, b something is going on
and I don't know what it is. And at the
time I had just been engaged, So that was around
the time it all started happening, right around when Omar proposed.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
So now you're thinking to yourself, proposal wedding. I gained
this extra thirty pounds.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
I need to get it off. I want. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
They say, did you guys know you wanted to have
children right away? Or was it that you guys were
kind of we knew we.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
Wanted to have children, just like I always want to
have children. He wanted.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
He grew up in a two kid households the same
as me, so we both knew we wanted at least
two kids. And that's that wasn't even anything I was
thinking about. When I finally did find my amazing doctor,
doctor ty Elia Body, she's also the Ford in my book.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
She was like, what are you feeling? Okay?

Speaker 2 (21:58):
The way okay, and then she goes into like a
series of questions afterwards. She's like, are your periods? And
I was like, what about them? I tell her how
how is your hair? And I'm like, what, ma'am, she's
the extra hair, how's the extrication and Cuban girl?

Speaker 3 (22:13):
But sure right, she started asking me whole bunch of questions.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Are you experiencing any hair loss, hair gain, menstrual cycles,
skin issues? And I'm like yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, okay,
and then she's just like scribbling and then she's like
you unfortunately, you know, I want to let you know
that you have PCOS and what She's like polycistico varian syndrome.
And I was like, what is that?

Speaker 3 (22:40):
I was like, what is that? This sounds so scary.
So you hadn't even heard of it at.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
Never, So she had to sit there and explain it
to me. She had a whole notepad and she was
talking about how my sugar and the insulin gets processed
differently in my.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
Body because of the POS.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
So for those people who don't know, let me jump
in really quick, just give a couple facts sincetat since
I know that they look forward to, you know, the
real real about it. Polycystic ovarian syndrome is a chronic
hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
So that's a box you checked right.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
Affects about ten percent of women, or around five million
American women of child marring age. Black women are underdiagnosed
and disproportionately affected by pcos. This could be due to
lack of research and Black women being treated differently within
the healthcare system. And pcos can cause hormonal imbalances, irregular periods,
excess androgen levels, and cysts in the ovaries. Other symptoms

(23:36):
include acne, excess, facial embody here, weight gain, and thinning here,
which is crazy remission. But then you sprout here in
places that you wouldn't think that you want it, right
of course, unxiu, I gotcha. So then also here I see.
Pcos can increase the risk of type two diabetes, heart disease,
ovarian cysts, obesity, and the most common is ovulatory and fertility.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Which means yes, it's the number one reason for infertility.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
So, realizing now you had this, the doctor tells you,
you go on a whirlwind of like, okay, what is this?
Does she walk you through the necessary changes that need
to be made to kind of get this under control.
Do you feel a sense of like hopelessness or do
you feel a sense of I'm going to figure this out.
You know, what was it like when you told Omar
take me through that process.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
I broke down in the room because I felt a
sense of relief that I was actually being seen, being heard.
But at the same time, I was newly engaged. So
you're telling me that this is the number one reason
for infertility, and I'm going to walking into a new
phase of my life where this is where we want
to go. So I was just like, I don't know

(24:45):
how to explain it, but that feeling I was just felt.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Super alone and happy that I could.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Take the next step to get to where I'm trying
to be.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
I can imagine that feeling because I actually felt that
feeling now that I think about it, back to my
story time, right, it's knowing something's off, not really knowing
what it is. Then. Of course, you know, our guys,
if Omar is anything like de Vo, which I think
there are a lot of like very optimistic and like, Babe,
I'm sure it's fine.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
I'm sure you're just stressing.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
It's going to happen, and then you sit with the
doctor and then they find out what the issue is.
So I get that mix of emotion where there's a
sense of relief, but then there's also the sense of Okay,
what's next, yea, and how did you change that?

Speaker 3 (25:30):
We had too?

Speaker 2 (25:32):
I got myself together, I asked her all the questions.
She gave me medication to take as the next step.
She prescribed me medication met Foreman and ozempic ozmpic for
the weight, met Foreman for my insulin, and I did
what she told me to do. And this was before

(25:53):
ozmpic was a thing.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Okay, So yeah, I want to touch on that because
I saw you got some backlash from people when you
mentioned and that you had to use those zmpigs as
part of the process.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
And I don't even see it as backlash because it's genuinely, guys,
this was before anybody knew anything. Doctor tells me to
take medication, I'm gonna take it. I'm having a problem
with my weight, and I honestly would do it again.
Why because it's it was a band aid for what
I needed at the time. I didn't know better, and
I would tell anyone listen. I'm on the holistic side now.

(26:25):
I'm more on the natural side now. But if I
ever needed to and wanted to, if I want to
hop it back on the medication, I can, and I will,
and I'm not gonna make anybody feel bad for doing it.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Ye.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
We women with pcos have an issue with losing weight,
just like people with obesity or different or diabetes or
different kinds of things that cannot we can't control. So
when it comes to the medication, I'm so thankful that
she did what she was taught to do, which is
to give medication to her patients that are asking for it,
because I didn't know what it was, and I actually

(26:57):
was so thankful.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
Mm hm.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
You know what the backlash portion of it, because I
noticed when you posted about it, people were just like, oh,
that's what she did. And I know, do you promote,
you know, a vegan lifestyle and you promote the holistic way.
But I think the negative connotation that has now come
from people abusing the medication for you know, reasons that
are more vanity than they are health. That's why it

(27:21):
has the bad rap that it has. But I love
that you're standing in your decision that eventually got you.
It was a short phase or a short stint to
get you to the next side. So how long were
you on that medification before you then decided to I.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
Was on it for about six to eight months. I
remember going back in there and being like, doctor, when
is this thing over? Because I really I'm really enjoying this,
Like this is really really good.

Speaker 3 (27:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
It wasn't until I kind of was just slowing down
on it and I was like, okay, So like what
happens next, Like, yeah, what's the cure?

Speaker 3 (27:55):
I need the cure?

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, not the band aid, not noting the temporary fixation
of like no, but.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
He has an answer for me when it comes to that,
really there's no cure. Doctors tell me there's no cure,
and me and my man, we don't do that, right,
You're not gonna tell me.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
We're not gonna play that.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
So I'm gonna rebuke that that there is no cure,
and I'm gonna go and do it my research. Because
there's not a lot of information about pcos out there.
I had to do so much research. I had to
ask a whole bunch of people, I had to join associations,
I had to do all the things to kind of
make sure that when we are ready to have a

(28:33):
baby that this was going to be the most seamless
process ever.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
So what did we do.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
We stopped medication cold Turkey, We went to a completely
different We detalked.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
We detalked everything, good people.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
Music, We listened to Hey, all of it and it
was so deep.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
We did it for an entire year.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
Wow, the things that we were eating. We went over
to doctor Sebby's village in Honduras and is that.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Where you went when you were in Yeah? I did
notice that you were on vacation there and there was
like a drink that he wanted.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, and Omar's like, do you want this or not? Yeah?
That was so hard.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
We went plant based before we got there because we
knew it was only going to be plants. So we
started on Tuesdays and Thursdays, right, just doing plant bail,
being more vegan rather than plant based. So now we're
more on the plant based side, right, We are plant based, yes.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
But the vegan.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
Then we went we did that on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Okay,
and then we knew that we were going to be
there for a while, so we're like we don't want
to kill ourselves, so let's prepare ourselves. Let's start a
little bit of detoxing. And we don't know what that
even means, Like, we don't even know what that means.
We know we're going to clean up our acts with
the food, and I don't know, just maybe not listen
to crazy.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
I'm gonna kill your music.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Okay, let me start there people, music, food, environment.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
And and we're outs more, more meditation, more sound healing
things like that.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
We get over there and.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
We were like, ha, you want us to take these
herbs every two hours in the morning food, no food
after lunchtime.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh, so there was a strict regimen and they were.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
On a very strict regiment with certain herbs, the bidders
that was twice a day. That would kill me. And
the plant based alkaline foods, which we had learned about
alkaline there. We had no idea what alkaline.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
Food was before. That's the difference between being vegan.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
Processed things like that and do the all natural, whole
foods that are going to help your body regenerate to
then be able.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
To fix it right on a cellular level, yes, exactly.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
And women people go there for everything obviously not just
PCOS and what Omar was dealing with with inflammation and
snees and things like that.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
That helped ruin his career.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
So that was collective for you to it was and
just your PCOS.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
I mean, it was the reason why we went.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
But then he got so much out of it that
he didn't even realize too, So it was actually a
beautiful thing.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
And you can do it together because you're in one household.
You're cooking the same meals that we're both going to eat.
It's not like one person has one regiment and another.
It's collective, and.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
We want to be the healthiest versions of ourselves. Played
football for a very long time, and he his whole
entire career was ended due to an injury. So he's
been obsessed with trying to heal his body properly to
be able. He's had surgeries and all the things, you
know what I mean. So we're we've always been on
the same like, let's be the best versions of ourselves

(31:37):
so that we can live longer, so we could.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
Be literally what you know, Deval and I have been
doing more recently. Do you mind sharing how.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
Old you are? I'm thirty five. Thirty five.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
Okay, so I'm forty. I was wondering how much older
you were. So you go to Honduras, you do the
whole doctor Sabi program, Yes, you come back.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
How did your body feel after that?

Speaker 1 (31:56):
Did you feel like a difference, what was your what
was your diet to track, like where you're pooping regularly
like we want to great?

Speaker 3 (32:03):
No, it was it was a difference you felt. I
felt so light, a lot more energy. No coffee.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
I'm not drinking coffee, but all of a sudden, I
have energy now that I'm drinking spring water and taking.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
My herbs like it. It's crazy. And no more coffee.
That was another thing I had to switch because I
thought I was doing something with that. But yeah, so
many things. Coffee. Yeah, I don't drink coffe anymore, I
know from.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
A health standpoint, or just taste, because I like coffee
for taste.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
No, I was I'm wondering, is it more just from
a health standpoint?

Speaker 2 (32:32):
You're just like, it's just anything that's going to give
you an energy and then bring you down. It's like
I'm trying to regulate everything. Okay, granted I'm trying to
just regulate my energy, but you know, anything that brings
you up to bring you down. And then also it's like, okay,
then the coffee it comes for me, it came with
a milk substitute, and then it came.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
With a little bit of sugar on the side. And
then and the sugar.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
Is the problem about the gitting right here, I got you.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
I'm gonna get you walking at I'm gonna get you right,
I'm gonna get you right.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
Okay, Okatus is talking to me, I got you.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
And anyways, if that's what gives you energy. And by
the way, there's nothing wrong with coffee. You can have
a coffee a day.

Speaker 3 (33:09):
Okay. I was doing like three a day. I was
doing the most. You were doing the most. So then
because I always felt like I was ready to go
to rehearsal, I had it takes some coffee, Yes, yes,
So we went to doctor Tubby's had an incredible, incredibly
devastating time.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
It was it was, it was, it was tough. We
were out on the steak, y'all, like we there was
and you're living in this like hut and there was
really nothing to do there other than cure yourself. And
we didn't realize how exhausting. Healing yourself from within could
be Well.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Think about how exhausting it is to just exist in
America in this space that we live in. It's like
a matrix of of people and things and stimulation and
phones and social media and all of that. So I
can imagine going to a space like that. It's like
a complete one eighty from living your regular day to

(34:04):
day life, but it also has a struggle within healing yourself.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Yeah, And it was a it was a wild experience.
We brought our videographer with us. He is absolutely the
opposite of us when it comes to eating. He was
having the hardest time even going into the water. There's
a pool there and it has spring water that comes
from the mountains that are close by. It's self heated
because on the rock somehow actually was a natural springs. Yes,

(34:29):
And he would go in the water and like come
out and have a complete headache. You couldn't like he
was feeling so sick because his body was just like
the steam room there too was really dope because the
steam was they would put natural eucalyptus leaves in there,
like the real naturally.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
I love this kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
I love it I'm over here, like so change, because
that's literally what Daval and I are on, like a
movement towards oh my gosh, healing, detaxing, doing what's best
for our bodies.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, and I feel like it could be done anywhere.
I don't feel like you need to go to that
specific place.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
I don't now that I've learned. I think the herbs
were what we took from that was learning the herbs
and like what how powerful herbs can be, how powerful
spring water can be, and the alkaline foods. I feel
like that is what kind of we took from that,
and we've put it into our everyday lives and I
feel like that has been the change for us that

(35:22):
we needed. I also was in the middle of writing
the book, right, the PCOS book.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Oh so you started your book prior to this, Yes, because.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
I was learning. It wasn't even for people. It was
more like a journal journal.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
It was a journal and just jotting things down and
writing all the information and if it did go out
to people, if I could help somebody one day, I
don't want to have to talk about all the time.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Here's the book that I put together.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
Here's the guide the guide that I put together, Yes,
and came back and I was like, I gotta switch
a lot of these recipes up. I've got to switch
up everything. Actually I didn't know what I was talking about.
I need to actually change everything. So that extent in
this whole process with the book, I've been putting information
for a very long time.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
And the alkaline foods.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
What happens with the alkaline foods really quick, not to
get nerdy, it's a pH level. All the foods have
a pH level. Everything has a number from like one
to fourteen, and you want to be at the highest.
So you know, you seem some water sometimes and it's.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
Like, yeah, it's on a three from the scale of
like one two.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Yeah, it's like and then it's like a nine points
something water And you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
That's the pH level.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
And certain foods are higher in the pH potential hydrogen,
and then some are lower closer to acidic. So you
do not want to be closer to the aesthetic because
when you have more of the foods on the higher
part of scale, it helps your body regenerate. So you're
giving your body whole foods that it can take your
body naturally wants to regenerate. I tell this thing all

(36:52):
the time. Whenever you cut yourself, your skin naturally heals itself.
Your skin wants to do that. Your skin wants to regenerate.
When you give your body the foods to be able
to do that, your cells connect quicker and easier, and
then you hope your body regenerates. So with that mind
frame going into everything that we put in our in
our bodies back at the house, when we got home,

(37:14):
it started everything started kind of coming together, one one
thing at a time.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Like, so, how soon after your trip, now implementing the
things that you've learned on your trip, did you guys
conceive what was that timeline?

Speaker 3 (37:29):
It was a year, a full year, a full year
afore we.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Went over there, learned everything came back home. Was on
the bidders taking shots every morning, which was the hardest
part for me and the bidders is just like fermented herbs.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
So you pretty much find out you're pregnant, and what's
that like, you know, finding out that you're successfully pregnant
now also maintaining it.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
Took so it took a year. We did it. One
time we gave each other a high five.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
Like we did it, Ah, that works, and it didn't
work that month, So then we tried the next time
I see it and it happened. So it was technically
quick fast, but we did a whole year of completely detoxing.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
Yes, And what was the question after that?

Speaker 1 (38:11):
No, I was I was saying next, So now that
you're pregnant, did you maintain like this plant based lifestyle
now that you're finally pregnant? Because some people may cure
themselves to the point where they get what they want
out of it, which is essentially, you know, conception, but
then may start to kind of backslide and fall back
into bad habits. So how important was it for you
and your husband? I know that Omar has been very
supportive of your journey as well. I've seen his videos

(38:33):
too where he's like looking for fruit with seeds.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
In it then cracking open a watermelon that had the
black seeds atime.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
So you now being pregnant, how important was it for
you to continue this journey through pregnancy and then now postpartum.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
Because it's so interesting, said.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
Too that Ocean is going to be a whole plant
based baby.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
Yeah, she is a plant based baby.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
I got pregnant and all of my knowledge completely went
out the window due to the fact that I was
so hungry.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
I was raving everything.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
And when I tell you, so, I attacked the skin.

Speaker 3 (39:05):
With going to a skin specialists.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
I got my menstrual cycle back to normal somehow, I
think by the food that we were eating. So I
kind of just like funneled in every single symptom that
I was having with a specialist. So I was That's
how I was kind of getting everything together, okay, And
then when I finally did get pregnant, Yeah, I mean
I was just like, whatever's gonna happen right now is
about to happen. I want to stay plant based. And

(39:27):
this is a conversation that Omar and I did have
because that's what he expected of me too, because we
worked so hard to get here.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Now we're finally pregnant.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Listen, these accountability partners that we have in husbands, Oh
my goodness. It's also I think their football background now
they're used to being so disciplined.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
It's what it is.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
And the accountability, like the valor is always like the
eye in the sky doesn't last.

Speaker 3 (39:46):
Well, who said your eye is the eye my god?
Get away? You know what I'm saying, let me, I
would not be seeing the same thing.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
I would drive through the drive through. This is real
pregnancy talk. Fifth or six month like left set. One
day I drove through a drive through it for fast.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
Ooh baby, gave me the big man.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
I ate that in the car. I didn't want to
tell him nothing. I was so embarrassed of myself guilty.
I felt so guilty. But then at the same time,
I had a chicken sandwich.

Speaker 3 (40:18):
Yeah, a stummer. Okay, yeah, I get it. I've been there.
I haven't had that in years, like forget the whole detox.
Like even before that, I felt crazy, But you lived
to see another day. I did, and guess what we
got through it? You did Listen.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
One thing about me is a balance, like I'm here
for the balance. I wanted to be plant based. And
it was a conversation that Omar had with me, and
he's like, I hear you with your cravings. We've never
been pregnant before, meaning you, I've never been pregnant before.
I didn't know what to expect, how to eat, and
all the things I know I wanted to violent, and

(40:57):
then all the things that I like to do, like
steam room, and go into the jacuzzie and like things
that I'd like to do I couldn't do anymore. Regardless,
I'm a pregnant woman and I got my cravings and
I need to handle it. And he was like, I
hear you, but our child is in your belly.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
And we got.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
To this place where we've done everything the good way,
the natural way, and you're giving everything you're eating and
giving it to our child. I don't know how I
feel about her having hormones extra hormones from animal products
in your body.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
So this was a thing because I wish it man
would splain to me what it's like to be pregnant.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yes, normally the struggle that we have.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
It was something that we had to It was not
an argument, but it was definitely like I'm like, right, sir,
I have a craving.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
I don't know what to tell you, right.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
And then him is like, you're giving our child things
that we don't eat, right. So we had to actually
talk to like outside parties because it was one of
those things I get it, yeah, And it came down
to when she's here, we want to make sure like
when she's physically here on earth, like after we birth her.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
I'm like, yes, give her the vegetables. I'm not mean.
I don't have to alter my life anymore.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
What's your breastfeeding? So is it still clocking like what
you eat since your breastfeeding?

Speaker 3 (42:14):
No, because we know the percentage just way lower that
she's receiving.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
And also I'm eating cleaner. You know I still eat.
I'm not completely one way or the other. I eat
what I want to eat, but I know you're mine.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
Now.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
I'm very mindful now I enjoy eating healthier foods because
I know it's going to make me feel. Like before
it was just like you eat chicken, or you eat meat,
or you eat but processed foods because that's what I want.
And if I didn't think.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
About what it was doing, especially being her Carabian descent,
like give me to acale, give me a rice and peas,
give me a curry chicken, give me to go, give
me all the things.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Everything right and eat it all, don't leave without exactly.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
Or if you go to a rest of West Indian
restaurant and they give you like a pound of rice
and peas and then like a small portion of the
meat and veggies, it's like, let's switch it around. Let
me get more veggie. It's a little more meat, you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
Make it even. But then I get the struggle exactly exactly.
I get the struggle. But the balance is key.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
The balance is key, And now I know better. So
now that I know better, I do better. And as
for Ocean, because you said how we were raised, it
was a different way. Now that we know better. Now, Ocean,
you're gonna want avocado.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
The first thing we gave it was avocado, and I mean, hey,
she loved it. She loved it.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
She was a little bit annoyed with the apple sauce
that we made it straight from apple, like actual apple.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Yeah, babies are funny about texture at that age too. Yes,
But to your point, as a parent, when you start
to implement these changes in your household, then the children
naturally will start to pick it up. Daval And I again,
prime example of eating all the things that we were
raised on. My parents live with us. So when I
start to cut certain things out, my mom is like, well,
we've always bought this brand of this, but why is

(43:52):
this bad all of a sudden? But why can't I
get the boys gatorade? And I'm like, mom, because we're
not drinking that and doing it anymore. I said, back then,
it might have been okay because there weren't all the
additives different now is that know? But now we're in
a space where we know better. So I'm starting to
slowly remove things from the house. And Jackson sometimes will
stand in the pantry and he'd be.

Speaker 3 (44:10):
Like, dang, this is boring. Ain't nothing those snacks are here.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
But then Deval is on a syebowl kick with all
these fruits and everything. And now it's like we're ordering
a sye ball for each kid, all right because let
and they're just like, we want to sell it too,
And I'm like, yeah, it's what they're seeing, it's what
they're saying, and they're enjoying it because they're not missing
the things that they used to have because it's like
their taste buds essentially are changing.

Speaker 3 (44:35):
And I love that for us.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
And you're leading them to that healthier lifestyle. The parents
they were just doing what they they were taught to do. Absolutely,
they were doing their best. And now a lot of
the things have more additives than back then, so the products.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
Are not the same.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
That Gatorade is not the same, right, Okay, it's just
not it's just not so. And I feel like bringing
ocean in now knowing the things that we do know
mm hm. We follow a lot of people on social
media as well that they're raising very strong, plant based babies.
Like when people found out that I was pregnant and
they thought I was plant based because we were making

(45:12):
plant based foods at the house, which that's all we
do at the house.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
It's only plant based foods.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
They were coming for me like that baby's gonna be malndnourished, right,
and it's like watch.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Watch right, She'll be fine. And you know, we should
be also allowing people to raise their children the way
they see fit.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
Yeah, and it's fine that we don't do everything the same. Guys, Like,
it's okay, and she is so healthy, but she's healthy,
she's beautiful. God, mom is beautiful. Dad is healthy. Like
I just love that for you guys. Wow, we what
a great.

Speaker 1 (45:47):
Convo about this PCOS life and overcoming it. Yes, I
guess as we wrap up this segment, what's been your
most surprising thing about motherhood so far?

Speaker 3 (45:57):
That's such a deep loaded question.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
I'm like, as we wrap up the conversation, it's a
whole thing.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
It's the most surprising part. Honestly, it's like the breastfeeding journey.
No one talks about that, talks about it. I was
legit like when people were like, are you gonna best feed,
I'm like, yeah, yeah, for sure about a year and yeah,
kind of just duh, Like don't you know me.

Speaker 3 (46:23):
We're plant bates. Yeah, we're plant bates. We do everything
really natural.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Yeah, it's gonna come naturally.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Yeah, it's gonna come. It's just gonna flow.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
And then it don't, and then it don't, and then
your right titty is the only one that's producing the milk.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
There's always the slacker boob. Is it your right that's
a slacker. No, my left is a slacker. My left
was a slacker. Dude, Right, what is it powerful boob? Yeah?
Is it because we're right handed? Are your right handed?

Speaker 1 (46:45):
I am?

Speaker 2 (46:46):
I don't think that's what it is. I don't know
if this is too much information, but the never too
much stimulation. The nibble stimulation on the right side has
always been a little bit more.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
And I don't know if we would want to say
about the I don't.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
Know, because definitely, like you know, when you have that
like suction, whether it's a man or a baby. Hey,
I mean it stimulates a different level of production. Yeah right,
So do you think you've got to handle on it now?

Speaker 2 (47:11):
I'm still in the trenches, Yeah for sure, but I
definitely have. I feel like I've gained some more thick skin,
Like I'm like, first of all.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Literally thin skin. I gave it bost when they get tougher. Yeah, literally,
that's easier, right.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
And I also gave birth like if you can give birth,
and I gave birth naturally, And like.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
You sure did I watch the block?

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Did you?

Speaker 3 (47:30):
I did watch it. That was a timatic. It was
very dramatic. That was the time. It was very she
just was not trying to she.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
Wasn't trying to come out, and you know, the doctor
midway leaving and then us being blessed with a black
doctor that came in and she came in and she
just was like give us.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
All the affirmation. And I was really just trying to
have this baby naturally.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
I was.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
I was trying so hard as far as naturally meaning
with no drugs and vaginaginally.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Yeah, after that, both the forty eight hours tell them,
I know, but yeah, after the forty eight hour mark.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
I just couldn't take it anymore because she wasn't ready
because I was induced improperly.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
Yes, in there too that that was the traumatic birth experience, Jackson.
I was induced for reasons that I had. I believe
protein or elevated enzymes in my liver, so it was necessary.
But you know, when your body doesn't do what it's
naturally supposed to do. With my last three, I naturally
water broke. Had the baby's safe and home dream was
body just bounced right back.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
I wanted it to be that so bad. I didn't
even feel right going into the doctor. But she had
mentioned that my placenta looked a little bit older, and
that apparently came out to be not true. She just
wanted me to have the baby while she was in
town before she went out of town to spring BA.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
So that's why it's annoying.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
Not putting an old ass placenta on you, because she
had planned.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
Honey, my placenta came out good. The other doctor was like,
do you want it?

Speaker 2 (48:59):
Okay, yeah, cool, send it off, Let's make some pills
out of it, and let's do whatever we want to
do with it. But it's she was like, it's completely fine.
We took it to a specialist. They're like, this is
a perfectly healthy, healthy placenta.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
So I was like, it wasn't.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
A geriatric placentum like adolescent fresh adults, you know, young
with for snapper.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
Young snapper, giving her all the protein and nutrient she needed,
all the things. And because I was induced, therefore she
wasn't ready to come out, and that's why it took
me forty hours.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
I was like, at one point I just let go,
let God.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
And I was like, I'm not going to judge myself. No,
You're gonna let mysel get the medication. And boy when
that medication.

Speaker 3 (49:37):
Hit, boy, this is so nice in here. So this
is great this hospital.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
And so the whole process after that, I did push
her out vaginally.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
It did not take long at all.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
The doctor was like, you must be a performers.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
The core the deep corn was like for years.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
So it was here, Yeah, she's here. I love it.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
And yeah, So for anybody that is pregnant or wants
to be pregnant, or it has had a million babies
and you know, just wants any extra input from me,
let me tell you something. This breastfeeding life is no joke.
I'm only about five months in and I'm so proud
of myself because I didn't know how long I could.

(50:23):
It's still waking up in the middle of the night
and still having a pump pump, I'm still doing that.

Speaker 3 (50:27):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Yeah, I've joked, but it's very serious that once you
become a mom, like being tired is like something that
happens in perpetuity, like you're never going to get enough sleep.

Speaker 3 (50:37):
It's just what it is.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
When you get used to the being tired, that's when
you overcome. I think that's what I mean by just
getting thick skin, because it's like I'm not phased by
being tired.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
I'll get over it, yeah, but but never really do though.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
Yeah, you're worried about breastfeeding, Now there's gonna be something
else that you're gonna be worried about it Like your
brain just never shoved off. I'm already worried about my
children being adults and they're not there yet, so worried
about and that moms just tend to have.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Yeah, I got crazy like anxiety with thinking that things
would go wrong right, like I'm going to work, I'm
going to break her little arm when lifting her up,
like the craziest mom.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
Anxiety that I've never had.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
There, So the most surprising thing to answer your question
has been the breastfeeding process and really just needing help
from family and friends, like calling on the village.

Speaker 3 (51:22):
Well, I love that for you. I love that you
have a village nearby.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
That you can call on the best, that you and
your husband Omar have been doing a phenomenal job from
what I can see so far, and just being so
invested in your wellness and in yourself and in your daughter,
but even more importantly sharing your PCOS journey through your
book over here, Living with PCOS The Road to Recovery.

Speaker 3 (51:42):
I love that so much for you.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
If you have issues with PCOS, if you have not
been diagnosed, if you suspect that you may be living
with PCOS, there's answers.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
Yeah, And I love that.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Candice has put that in a book that has recipes,
what else does it happens?

Speaker 2 (51:58):
Work out guide recipes, all the things to take out
of your pantry, and just from different specialists. I got
different scientists in there, different specialists in there to give
all the information for anybody that has PCOS.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
Also, and where can people find the book PCOS with
Candace dot Com. Oh, that's easy.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
We can remember that PCOS with Candace dot Com. And
where can folks find you? If they want to follow
more of your beautiful family and more of your journey,
tell them where they can find you.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
They can find me at Candace. That's it. That's the
A and dic. You got that name? I did? I did?

Speaker 1 (52:32):
Like what were you on the first Like? Were you
the first Instagram subscarber? Because there's so many canvases in
the world. I fact that you just got Candace alone.
Never give that up.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
Hey, listen, I got lucky one time then pulled it
over to every.

Speaker 3 (52:42):
Single other app. That's all I can say. You're not
a gambler, Like, I'm not going to try anything else.
It worked, It worked, I worked for you.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Well, thank you so much for sitting with me, Candas.
I feel like eventually you can come back for another
episode with me where we can talk something else, because
there's like so many parts of.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
Your life with it that we have not touched.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
All Right, let's take a quick break having such an
awesome conversation with Candace, and we will be back with
a quick listener letter.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
Stay tuned.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
All right, y'all were back, and Candace was just talking
about like that's it.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
That's like, I feel like that's just a girl.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
I could talk to you for hours and hours and hours.

Speaker 3 (53:23):
I could wow And yeah, I got karaoke part too.
Brestmolk showers at the period for your.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Man though period, I got you been there with the
breast milk showers.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
Okay, she's like been there.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
Okay, that's reserved for.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
Them double loaf.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
All right, let's jump in really quick to a quick
listener letter.

Speaker 3 (53:49):
I'm Candace.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
Hopefully you can give a couple of words of advice
because typically people write in with something that they're struggling
with or they want some to Here are two cents,
you know, so well we'll listen now, all right. I've
been with my now fiance for four years. We have
three children from a previous relationship and he has two
from his previous marriage. We both decided that we want
a baby together. In the process of trying, we found

(54:09):
out that I have PCOS. This causes weight gain, leads
the diabetes, and causes infertility. Not to mention, I suffer
from Hashimoto disease, which means my thyroid does not produce
enough hormones. Although I have all this going on, I
managed to get pregnant, but unfortunately had a miscarriage.

Speaker 3 (54:27):
I'm sorry about that.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
I'm thirty seven years old, which means my pregnancy should
be considered geriatric. They did tell me that, and I
was like, don't disrespect me with this cheriatric term. Don't
be labeling me.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
So I understand.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
I diet and exercise to keep the process of conceiving,
to help the process of conceiving. Rather. I watched After Shock,
Thank you Kudine for a shining light on this subject,
and was in tears through the entire movie.

Speaker 3 (54:51):
I understand I was two girl.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
I was aware of mortality rate, but not aware of
how high the rate was. Watching this movie really opened
my eyes and gave me a real wake up call.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
These women had. These women had no pre existing.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Condition, trusted their life and their children's lives in the
hands of people who were supposed to care for them
throughout their journey. My fear is I get over everything
I personally have going on with my body, become pregnant.
My baby doesn't get to enjoy me, while at the
same time, the love of my life and my children
suffer from the loss of me because of negligence. Although

(55:25):
God got me, he only helps those who help themselves.
How can I get over this fear of something I
cannot control? Please help? Have you experienced any pregnancy losses ever?

Speaker 3 (55:39):
No?

Speaker 2 (55:39):
No, I've been on calls and because of the PCOS
association while I was pregnant, I was having the same
kind of fears because I was on calls with women
that had PCOS and they were dealing with different things.
There was actually one lady that was on the call
that day she said, excuse me, hold on until the restroom.
Came back on the call my jon secretly pregnant, and
she was like, I just lost I just lost my baby,

(56:01):
and I don't know what to do. I'm bleeding, I
gotta like kind of got to go. So it was
very firsthand with women that are going through it. So
I personally haven't, but it was definitely a fear of mine,
and I could see how because of all the things
that women with PCOS, all the things that we have
to go through, So it was definitely a thought and
had to think kind of an advance if it does happen, Yes,

(56:24):
I think.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
We always have.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
Of course, I suffered from a miscarriage between my third
and fourth son, and I was never diagnosed with PCOS.
And for the for the most part, I would say
had pretty textbook pregnancies and conceived fairly easily, with the
exception of before Cairo.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
But and it's while that it was between your third
and the fourth, like who.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
Would have thought, right, But they do say one in
four pregnancies normally end in some sort of miscarriage. And
it can be in a ray of things. It can
just be that, you know, chromosonally, the baby is not
you know, up to par there's like things that your
body does naturally when that fetus or at the time
it's only just maybe in zygote, you know, they're just
not prepared to make the journey. So it doesn't take

(57:03):
away from the loss or the hurt that you feel
once you get that news or you know, like for me,
I went to the doctor and was having some spotting,
heard the heartbeat. They told me it was a viable pregnancy.
Deval was away filming. I was back in California with
our boys, and I told the story on a podcast
with my friend Crystal that they told me it was
a viable pregnancy to go home and just rest for

(57:24):
a little bit bit of bedrist went home, felt some cramping.
I was on FaceTime with de Val, went to the
bathroom and pulled my underway down and it was literally
like everything He's on FaceTime on the floor in the
bathroom and miscarried that baby. Of course, was devastated. He's
in Atlanta, I'm in California. And then outside my door
where my boys knocking, like, Mom, are we gonna make

(57:45):
pizza now? Because we were supposed to make pizza for dinner.
You know what mom does. Mom cleans everything up and
gets to it, wipes her tears and gets to making pizza.

Speaker 3 (57:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
But it's the duality of existing in this space of
being great that you have children, but then also knowing
what could have been.

Speaker 3 (58:03):
Two things could be true at once at the same time.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
This is his name for that. What is that called
divine dichotomy? I believe, I think, yeah, yeah, So to
speak directly to this listener letter, I do believe that
there's the power in what you think. Is a power
in what you believe. There's a power in what you affirm.
There's a power in what you manifest, is a power
in what you pray for, and I think consuming yourself
with the fear that's not of God right to consume

(58:28):
yourself with the fear of something going wrong. Once you
can release yourself of that fear and exist in the
space of gratitude, positivity, praying and hoping for the best,
doing the things that are within your control and.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
Your body.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Even though it's the diet, make sure it's the right diet,
like things like that, little things like the alkaline foods,
rather than just going and completely cutting out meat. It's
like deeper than that, the process foods, things like that,
trying trying different things and staying positive. The tongue is
so so or or, and do not rebuke it. Absolutely
rebuke it.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
You have to sis rebuke it, rebuke it, prey on it,
think positively, and get Candace's book if you're struggling with PCOS.
Ultimately that will give you a little bit more insight
into how you can take control of this syndrome.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
So I know, I know you.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
Said there's support groups out there, there's associations, So maybe
doing the work to find those things the same way
you found that documentary, which I know aftershot can be
very very hard to watch, but it is the reality.
So I do believe that once you are aware and
you have done your research and you know better, we
tend to make the steps towards doing better. So all

(59:43):
the best to you and your family. Appreciate you writing in,
and if you want to be on our listener letters,
be sure to email us at dead as Advice at
gmail dot com. So to wrap things up, we normally
devour I would do like a moment of truth, which
is just like recapping the episodes. Think you took away
something that might have clicked to you that you never
thought of before. But for me with my A day

(01:00:06):
with k you know, guests, I like to end with
tell me something that you're dead ass about.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
Oh, the first thing that come to mind is going
to be ridiculous. What is it?

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
The tittieses, y'all, I'm dead I mean, it doesn't have
to do this what we were talking about.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
But I'm dead ass about my man and our family.
My man. I don't play about my family, and I
don't play about love.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
And I think that I love love so much and
I'm going to openly conversate about it and speak about
it because for such a long time I was in
a music industry where you kind of just put that aside.

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
You are this one thing. You are a successful woman.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
You are a go getter, and anything with relationships and
love and family is kind of on the back burner
and kind of growing into the woman that I am
now leaning into what has always motivated me seeing my
parents together growing up and you know, being in a
loving family and a loving home.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
I know that I always knew that I really really
wanted that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
So moving in that light and being grown now and
looking back and being like, h I can have both
or I can't do that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
I'm dead ass about my family. I don't play about that.
I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
And you see, you've mentioned something that's really key because
it's like, you know, being in the entertainment industry, like
you said, living in that space then now transitioning to
family and then wanting to maybe transition back into dancing
and acting all those things. You can do all the things,
and the best part about it is when you're dead
ass about your family and your man and your support
system and your village, they're the ones that you lean

(01:01:40):
on that will allow you to.

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
Exist in both spaces.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
Yep, being wife, being mom and being the career woman
that you aspire to be.

Speaker 3 (01:01:47):
It'll light up the stage, if anything.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
Baby even brighter, even brighter. And I like to tell
my first time moms there's so much stress put on
getting back to yourself. Do you think about the snap
back right and not just physically but just everything, wanting
to be yourself again. And I've I've been telling my
new moms that that's not the case. You're never going
to be who you were before you had children. It's

(01:02:09):
about discovering who the new person is, who's the new candae,
What does she look like, what is she invested in,
what is she no longer tolerating? What boundaries is she
putting up? So always thinking about what you're going to
look like moving forward to be the best version of
yourself for your husband and your daughter, the new version.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
I love that that's important and I appreciate that, Jim,
because yes, very much so new mom going through the things,
trying to figure out who I am after the fact,
And it's something that I'm glad you got to tell
me that because you have been there, You've done it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
I am multiple times times. Maybe that's what I tell
people all the time. So I'm like, if it was
that bad.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
I know you're in the trenches now, but if it
was that bad, we'll all be only children.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
Yeah yeah, but how we get amnesia?

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
I forget and we be loving our man so much
that it happens again and.

Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
Again and again and in my case right.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
And we just keep on going. But they're so worth it,
and it was so worth sitting down with you. I'm
so happy, happy that we made the trip to the
West Side into LA to chit chat for a little bit.
And I'll be sure to have you back whenever we can.

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
Thank you for calling on me, and I'm so glad
that you called me for this, and I'm just so
appreciative to be here to be able to speak to
you and speak to your audience.

Speaker 3 (01:03:16):
Thank you so much. I'm just I'm just I really
feel honored. So we love you. Candy Girl. Oh that's
another karaoke song.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Candy Girl, you are our lot, so sweet baby.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
No, I don't know. I feel like they we're singing
that to me when I was a kid. That was
my song. It was your song.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Oh, oh my god, karaoke this episode, y'all all right?
Be sure to find us on Patreon to see exclusive
dead Ass podcast video content. You can also follow us
on social media dead Ass the Podcast, I'm Kadeine I
am and of course don't forget Mabu Devel I am
Deval And if you are listening on Apple Podcasts, please
be sure to rate, review and subscribe. Dead Ass Baby,

(01:04:00):
Love You, Girl, Let it Got.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
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