Surviving Trump While Black

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sound bites.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
It's gonna sound crazy, but I'll explain it later. I
don't give a fuck who the president is.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Thanks facts and truth is im Tie.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
I'm just Tye dead Ass.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

Speaker 5 (00:31):
Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable, be.

Speaker 4 (00:36):
Wrong, of course, but most apportly be us.

Speaker 5 (00:40):
But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,
and through it all, one thing has never changed.

Speaker 6 (00:46):
This is.

Speaker 5 (00:49):
Because we got a lot to talk about. All right,
all right, storytime.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Here's the funny part.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Right, everybody knows trouble and on storytime because trouble is
opera do so she creates the whole thing. And for
the runner show, she ain't even put a story time.
That's how tired niggas is. Because we tired, like we
really really tired. Okay, So I'm gonna tell you a
story about fatigue, and I'm not even gonna take you

(01:15):
back to a specific time. I'm gonna take you back
to what I had to live through in my life.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
I was born in nineteen eighty four. The president was
Ronald Reagan, so I was born into Reaganomics.

Speaker 4 (01:28):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
I lived through both Bushes.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Trump one term and now Trump another term. I honestly
feel like there's nothing that I haven't seen in these
forty years. I lived through stopping frisk, mass incarceration, nine
to eleven, the pandemic, like all the things, and every
time something came up, I thought it was doomsday. The

(01:57):
older I get now, I realize that they don't.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Have the control we have it.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
That's a fact.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
So that's my story.

Speaker 5 (02:01):
Every other day, I'm like, geezus coming for forty years.
I'm like, be prepared. Let me get prepared. So you know,
facts here, we are.

Speaker 4 (02:10):
Here, we are karaoke.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Okay, you started in the sound bite.

Speaker 5 (02:18):
I was like, we've used this song before, but I
think it's just very appropriate.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Truth is, some time.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Options are few.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
Right, they're actually fruit few.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
It's bad.

Speaker 5 (02:33):
I mean, I mean we have I mean at this point,
what can we control. I feel like it's my biggest thing.

Speaker 7 (02:38):
You know, you're tired because y'all just stop singing Carrier completely.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Well, I have.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Another part of karaoke, though, Man, I do have another
part of karaoke, and it's the song that we sang
before my man, Tupac uh Huh's favorite song. Yeah, remember changes?
So I see no changes? Wake up in the morning
and I asked my self, is life work living? Should

(03:01):
I blast myself? I'm try to be im poorant even
worse some black. My stomach hurts, so I'm looking for
a purse to snatch. It is twenty twenty five, and
people still feel the same exact way. That song was
written in the nineties by Tupac Shakor, and there are
a lot of young people, not just men, men and
women who feel the same exact way. Because we're headed
towards another recession, so we're gonna take a quick break.

(03:25):
We're gonna bring some light and levity to this topic.

Speaker 5 (03:27):
It don't it is gonna be what it's gonna be, yes,
but at least we have some solidarity together.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
We can visit and we can just talk about how
this all feels.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
And here's the truth though, because I've been watching a
lot of television, black people ain't the only people trying
to survive in this administration, all right, we are back,
and before we get into the meat horse of the show,
we can go to my favorite segment of the show
with my home girl trouble trips.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yo yo, no, I'm interested what you got for me today?

Speaker 3 (04:07):
What's happening?

Speaker 6 (04:07):
So?

Speaker 4 (04:08):
Uh these are mostly politically.

Speaker 8 (04:12):
This a little bit because the United States is getting
a bad rap out of all over the world right now,
and uh it wasn't bad enough. A French lawmaker recently
said that he wants the US to give back the
Statue of Liberty, and I wanted to hear y'all's op
for no op on. This is your New Yorkers. You
grew up with the girl, you know, the girl.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
That's the big sense, that's big Sense.

Speaker 5 (04:37):
I definitely went up to her crown, you know, one
day with Bethlehem.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
That was the second school trip.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Shout out now trade.

Speaker 8 (04:47):
School, yes, yes, yes, So before you answer this, though,
I wanted to share with you some history I learned
about the Statue of Liberty recently.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
Okay, so the Statue of Liberty.

Speaker 8 (04:56):
Is supposed to come in ain't the end of slavery?
And because of that, the Lady Liberty is supposed to
be a black woman who is broken free of her chains. However, Americans,
whoever was in charge at that point, they did not
want to depict a slave in the Statue of Liberty.

(05:18):
So the French dude who made it, he delivered the
statue without the chains. But if you go to the
Statue of Liberty, you can actually see the broken chains
at her feet. They're still there, but they're not visible
from the sky yet. So having said that, what is
your op or no op on the Statue of Liberty

(05:39):
being given back to friends?

Speaker 5 (05:40):
Her features aren't given system at all because they didn't
want to where's the full lips and the nose like
I want to see us? So maybe they should like
send her back and fix her and bring her back.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Well, if we're being honest, I'm just wondering if France
is going to if they want stuff back, or they're
going to give Haiti back reparation as they did to
the Asian people.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
That's just really if we're going to stalk.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
To hold people accountable, that really hold people accountable, because
France has been exploiting Haiti since the Haitian Revolution, the
actual first slave revolution against the French people.

Speaker 4 (06:16):
So if we're gonna, you know, talk about reality France.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
I appreciate you saying that, you know, the United States
needs to do better, but United States is not the
only country that needs to do better.

Speaker 4 (06:27):
And that's that's my opinion on that.

Speaker 5 (06:29):
So Haiti is one of a couple of Caribbean islands
that I know I've been the rule.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
People talk about it, talk about it, talk about it.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
Talk about it.

Speaker 5 (06:44):
We're going to be pulling straws here, you know what
I'm saying. Let's go all the way with it.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
That's my opinion. I agree with that.

Speaker 8 (06:51):
I think the French France is probably one of the
worst perpetrators of colonialism.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
So yeah, I feel like m maybe deal with that.
I wonder if people know that.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
And after the slaves freed themselves in Haiti, the French
government told them, you know what, will give you your freedom,
but you're gonna have to pay us for all of
the freed slaves y'all had. So the Haitian government has
been paying France for freeing the slave, which is the
most asinine thing. But let's be honest, that happened here

(07:24):
in America. T Yeah, we never got reparations as a people,
but you know who did get reparations sharecroppers, they were
given the equivalent of during that time, it was twenty
five hundred dollars per slave that they let free right
and the slaves were given nothing, but the sharecroppers were
given money by the American government for releasing people as property.

(07:45):
So I just want to be clear as to why
we believe what we believe.

Speaker 4 (07:48):
And these are not opinions, these are facts. You can
look it up.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Imagine what twenty five hundred per person would have done
for the black community in that time if you gave
every slave, not just forty eight was in a mule,
which was promised before it was taken away after the
assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Or give them twenty five hundred
dollars in that time in eighteen sixty three, imagine what
twenty five hundred dollars.

Speaker 4 (08:10):
Would have done.

Speaker 5 (08:11):
Twelve hundred dollars people got during COVID Was it the
similar checks.

Speaker 8 (08:14):
Yeah, everybody was fighting over because the modern mortgage system
is based off of slavery, So that's where it comes from.
Slaves Enslaved people were kind of assigned an amount that
they were worth, and if you were a slave owner,
you could basically like take out a second mortgage on

(08:35):
a person. But if you think about it today, if
you default on your mortgage yep, and the bank takes
your house, you don't get the money that you paid back.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
You don't get anything. Batter the bank gets it.

Speaker 8 (08:48):
So if as an enslaved person you were freed, the
slave owner no longer owns you, You own yourself. You should
get here to get the work. Hello, it seemed like
common sense.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
Don't yeah happen?

Speaker 1 (09:01):
Like if they could friends come.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Over, They're gonna have to deal with a bunch of
niggas that like going to the statual liberty.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
But I have to take it.

Speaker 4 (09:07):
With us.

Speaker 8 (09:08):
It's getting really well. It's been concerning for black people.
I don't know that this moment in time is worse.
But uh, they did just rip up the Black Lives
Matter Street muror in d C.

Speaker 7 (09:21):
On that it was time. It was dirty. You need
to if they're going to redo it, redo it. If
you're gonna get rid of it, get rid of it.
But it's time.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
They're not going to redo it though, they're just pulling
it up for the sake of pulling it was time,
you think, so.

Speaker 6 (09:35):
My my opinion is it was it was it was
show place. I didn't mean anything taking up something that
benefit us, like it didn't benefits monetarily and he positions
a power or anything that it was. It was just
a show. You want to take your show back, take your.

Speaker 7 (09:53):
Show performance performance, I feel like more than anything else,
and put a target on was back.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
So that is true.

Speaker 7 (10:02):
It did put a target with a people correct unattentionally.

Speaker 6 (10:06):
Unattentionally, I think I think there were two things.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
There was the movement and then there was the capitalist
side of it, you know what I'm saying. And I
think a lot of people ran with the capitalist size
of it made it seem like BLM was a bad.

Speaker 4 (10:18):
Thing, and realistically it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
And the fact that you have to put Black Lives
Matter on the street for people to understand that it's problematic.

Speaker 5 (10:25):
We'll think about writing the book, like when you wrote
the book that was essentially our like a history lesson
that we wrote for the boys, right, we wrote for
the boys that listens to the time machine. Yeah, the
question the tagline is why do we have to say
Black Lives matter? And that was because that was a
legitimate question that Jackson asked us at the time. So
it wasn't us trying to like capitalize on Black Lives

(10:46):
Matter's movement. It was just a genuine question that at
the time what nine year old asked us, and it
was like, all right, well, let's try to explain to
you some of the history, the actual real black history
around why we have to say it because people don't
recognize it.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
I agree with Josh Man, it was performative.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
I think that America does a good job of doing
performative based things to make us feel comfortable while on
the back end rolling back.

Speaker 4 (11:10):
The things that are really supposed to help us.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
For example, they made this big deal about pulling down
Confederate statues and shit while rolling back DEI like programs.
So it's like, oh, let's perform this, or they can
cheer while we do this.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
If they get rid of.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
The BLM thing, what I think is going to do
is let black people realize, like, yo, they not fucking
with us like that, because I think a lot of
us went to sleep. We fell asleep. If you notice,
during all of the administrations I talked about Reagan administration,
Bush administration, Trump administration, black people got stronger because the
racism went from covert to overt and when it goes

(11:48):
from covert to overt, that's when we mobilize. But when
we have other figures in there who really don't fuck
with us neither, Like if we're being honest, bro, a
lot of people don't notice, but Joe Biden never fucked
with us like that.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
Man.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Joe Biden wrote the ninety four crime bill he called
the super Predators. Right, he's a Democrat. The Democratic Party
is no longer what we thought it was going to be,
which was going to be the party of black people.
The Democratic Party just became a shit show, you know
what I'm saying, And we lost the election because we
didn't really have a viable If we're being.

Speaker 6 (12:19):
Honest, bigger problems with black people's.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
And that's why the Democratic Party has a huge problem.
And it's not Black people, which means they're not going
to focus on us, yes, which means we have to
focus on us. And the Black Lives Matter being removed
is going to make us focus. That's what I think.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
The more racist they get, the more focus we get.

Speaker 5 (12:37):
Yeah, that's I mean, we've been pulling back our dollars
in certain areas and we're seeing the benefits facts.

Speaker 7 (12:42):
We need more impactful protests instead of just words on
the street or in the back of the end zone,
because I don't think that really helps.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
So we don't never we don't got to say stuff
all the time. Like remember the underground rail road was
the underground wrail world for a reason. If Harriet tell
Me would have got up there, it's journal truth and
we've been like, nah, Black Lives matter, we all leaving
at this time, it would have never happened. We have
to be justice covert. And when I mean covert, we
don't have to be covert racist against them. We can

(13:08):
be covert in our development for our own people. And
it don't start with a statue or with words. So
I'm like, let's do let's build together, and we can
build without having to push other people down.

Speaker 4 (13:19):
We just built ourselves.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
That's how I feel about it.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
So they get rid of it, they get rid of it.
I don't care.

Speaker 8 (13:24):
Yeah, I think you just maybe realize something though, because
during Joe Biden's presidency, I guess the last couple of years,
there was a big movement for Confederate symbols to be
taken down all over the United States, and I feel
like that's where this is coming from it's like backlash
to what white people consider Southern white people racists, white

(13:46):
people consider their culture and their right and now they're
trying to get back and the Black Lives Matter movement
I feel like did really create a lot of the
backlash that we're seeing right now from especially conservative white
people who just don't believe that racism is a thing
in America or that they have the right to or
that they really feel a sense of supremacy over anybody

(14:07):
that's not a white man.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
And we can thank Mildred Rutherfood for that.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
All of these books, over all of these years.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
Still exists.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yes, the u DC, the United Daughters of the Confederacy
still exists.

Speaker 8 (14:23):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
And it's because of that education on mis education is
why these emboldened white nationalists feel they can do the
things that.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
They do about y'all ever met a baby named Mildred?
You only meet a Mildred when she owed me think.

Speaker 4 (14:38):
Mildred does sound like something that Jamaican baby would be.

Speaker 5 (14:41):
Next Mildred, my Mildred, Doris Thelma, but.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
Barbara Thelma?

Speaker 7 (14:52):
Yeah, ye sorry, Ed is one of them.

Speaker 3 (14:59):
Absolutely.

Speaker 5 (15:00):
I've never seen a young and those are names that
haven't come back like some names come back that.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
I haven't seen a baby named Doris.

Speaker 6 (15:06):
I think I think that Joshua name is dying. I
don't see no little kid.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
There's no Joshua.

Speaker 7 (15:11):
We know matt Ellis is not dying.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
There's a lot of matt Ellis's. Daval never lived for.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
It to die. I'm the only person I know what
my name other than my.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
Pops, right, and a baby named after you.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
I do have one baby.

Speaker 3 (15:24):
It's a baby named kade in Trinidad. Oh really yeah, wow, yeah,
look at.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
That you're telling people my name is Kadeen.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
I love that for you.

Speaker 7 (15:34):
I believe you.

Speaker 4 (15:35):
We believe you've got a great name.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Bro bbl triple is.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
That's not going anywhere.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
Not common.

Speaker 5 (15:42):
I feel like there's been an influx of Cairo since
our Cairo. I feel like I see Cairo everywhere now
my baby named Cairo. I have seen a lot of
influx of Cairo's.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
You know what, You're not going to see a lot
of what, but we so we grew up seeing shanik
Was and Keisha's when we was growing up, there was
a lot of Keisha's Aisha Letitia.

Speaker 6 (15:59):
Then I'm probably mad at that I actually like those
names because you grew up with it. No, I like
those names for the symbolism. It is like we don't
have our own names, like that year, you gotta old, Lou,
you gotta got, So that's on their side for Black Americans,
we like. Although some of those names came off as

(16:24):
like ghetto names like Boom, Cueisha and all that, it
was like the ghetto names, the reality is those were
the American, the Black American culture names. For that is
a fact I enjoyed having our own.

Speaker 8 (16:38):
I went to elementary school with a kid named e
Quavers and he was a bully and he was kind
of chubby, so I used to call him Equavers because
that sound fat.

Speaker 7 (16:49):
You was all.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
The bully.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Story around.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
I used to make fun of him because he was
a minute famous, was me bro.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
He deserved it, I'm sure, because he had that name
and people like sounds like something of sorry. I took
us all the way on the top of ya.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
It's just fine thinking about politics, thinking about politics and
being black in America. I forgot who said it, But
being black and conscious in America is being in a
constant state of anger.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
I forgot who said it.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
I think it was that was No, it was James Baldwin.
James Baldwins. This series his centennial.

Speaker 8 (17:44):
We have a we share a birthday, August second, it
is his one hundredth birthday.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
So if you don't know who James Baldwin is, go find.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
Out that that statement means so much though, because even
as I continue to ascend in life, what we all
see that you you find yourself in spaces that are
less black.

Speaker 4 (18:04):
And they always ask that question. Wait, wait, I'm so angry.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
I fucking hate that question.

Speaker 5 (18:10):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
It's like the minute we get cool and we sit
down and they start to realize that the valor is
relaxing a little bit. I always get that question, you know,
that's a question that sound that's a question you know,
like I got. I got it trying to black friends
and I just want to know you know what, and
I'll be like, oh.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
Because y'all know me, y'all know me.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
I said, that leans forward.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Well, this is how it always goes.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
I said, well, where do you want me to start?

Speaker 2 (18:43):
And most of the time, at the end of the conversation,
I realized how so many white people do not know
American history like at all.

Speaker 4 (18:52):
And then when I explain to them American history.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
That's when they're just like, oh, white people don't know
about redlining, black holes, the Vagrancy Act.

Speaker 4 (19:03):
They don't know about this stuff because it's not taught and.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
It's never affected them, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Like they when I start bringing those things and they
say this that really really that was really going on,
was really goal, It's yeah, still we're still voter suppression
still goes on today like today, and they're just like, oh, yes,
it's not fair.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
I'm like, no, ship.

Speaker 8 (19:28):
There's a really great uh the last season of Curb
Your Enthusiasm, there's a running storyline where Larry David is
in Atlanta and he sees somebody he knows voting, and
so he gives her a bottle of water. Apparently it
is illegal to have water if you're waiting in line
to vote in Georgia. Yes, yes, And so he has

(19:52):
to go through this whole court process because he gets
arrested and he's getting.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
Charged with a crime. When did that come on this year?
Twenty twenty four?

Speaker 2 (20:02):
When the episode came out last year, always said, because
you know that happened here in Georgia during the election,
people were handing out food and water to people who
were online and getting in trouble.

Speaker 4 (20:13):
Yeah, I swear it just seemed.

Speaker 5 (20:16):
They want to make it in an uncomfortable situation. Absolutely,
we don't want to discourage. Yeah, of course, it's funny
when you mentioned, uh, you know, when your white counterparts,
you know, asked these questions.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
But Sterling K. Brown. I was just watching a clip
from his podcast with his wife. I think it's called.

Speaker 5 (20:34):
We Yeah, we don't always agree, and he was talking
about his experience on set where he had a white
counterpart that must have been reacting reacting, was angry about something,
and he said he kind of, you know, peeked out,
and we're just like hmmm, and he was just like, man,
if I.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Remember what he said, they coded it as they coded
as passionate.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, yeah, you know, he was passionate.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
In his anger, right exactly.

Speaker 5 (21:00):
But then of course he said, if I were to
perform in the same way and be as passionate, it
would not be received the same way. And it's just
that it doesn't matter where or what avenue, what job,
what realm you're in, it's always going to be seen
as the disgruntled black person.

Speaker 4 (21:18):
Let me ask you a question, right, well, do you
have one more for us? Or yeah, will go back.
Even though we're kind of already on the topic.

Speaker 8 (21:27):
I have been watching social media a lot around this
topic because I am one to say black people should
be politically involved and politically aware. We cannot afford to
be a political because we are affected the most. I
did change, but I did see a post on threads
that was like them, why why y'all not marching, and

(21:48):
it's aid us we are. And it's a video of
a bunch of black people doing the line dance, wear
them fans.

Speaker 4 (21:57):
So I've just learned it and new line dances out.

Speaker 8 (22:01):
Yeah, and I know that some people are behind learning
your Tamia dance and you need to get on your
zoom honey.

Speaker 3 (22:08):
Get on the to me a dance, because they've moved on.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
Yes, they've moved on left beyond.

Speaker 5 (22:13):
Because you have to get bank that one, the same
way you have the electric slide, the Cha cha slide,
the wobble, all of those cupa shuffle. You got a
bank to me and now to learn the next two.

Speaker 8 (22:21):
And they're playing them in succession.

Speaker 5 (22:25):
In succession now, So it's a marathon of line dancing
y'all won't be won't be none.

Speaker 4 (22:30):
Of them get on your.

Speaker 8 (22:33):
Especially if you're going to be at Cowboy Carter this summer.
I think you need to know the boots on the
ground period. Country's I would like to know what do
you think about that? Like, uh, black people putting their
joy or using their joy as resistance? A lot of
black people, I think are saying after the My point
was after during the election.

Speaker 4 (22:53):
After the election, black people felt kind of betrayed.

Speaker 8 (22:56):
A black woman ran for president and they literally elect
did somebody a fascist?

Speaker 4 (23:02):
Let me ask somebody who wants to be a dictator?
Did she really run for president? Or was she?

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Because to me, I think that this was fucked up
what they did to her, to be honest, because if
we if she was really going to be allowed to
run for president, they would have given her the nod
before at the Democratic Convention, so she would have had
the runway to.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
And do things.

Speaker 4 (23:22):
They came in the last minute because the white man
that they thought.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Was going to be able to last for the last
four years started to slowly lose his mind.

Speaker 8 (23:30):
And now the narrative that they're putting out there is
that he was pushed out of running that they forced
him out of running for president so that she could run,
and not that they forced her into running.

Speaker 4 (23:43):
Whose they they, whatever the powers that be, And let's
let's let's really think about this for us.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
At what moment in a world history did anyone ever.

Speaker 4 (23:54):
Say, you know what, we're gonna get rid of this
white man and bring this black woman in.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
That's right, Come on, this is what black people.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Choosing joy That don't even sound like something I'm going
to debate about, not going to debate about why.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
I'm not like, there's no way.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
But my opinion is yes, if that's where you find
your joy. If your joy is not debating over the
water ruler about nonsense and politics, because you want to
preserve your joy, Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow brothers and sisters,
don't do that shit. Find your joy within your community
of people, your circle of friends, your line dances.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
If it's cowboy Carter tour, I'll see you there.

Speaker 4 (24:31):
If it means oh we got a cowboy, I knew
it was going to come back to this. Find your joy,
I knew it.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
I don't find your joy where it exists and your pockets.
Find your tribe of people.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
With that.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
Nation build within your people.

Speaker 4 (24:46):
Agree with that.

Speaker 3 (24:46):
Yeah, let's get back to like gathering and having functions
and caring for each other.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
Let me ask you a question, guys, because I'd be
struggling with stuff. I do not blame current white Americans
for where we are in America.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
The reason why is because I feel like the racism
we experience now, although there are some overt racists who
still call you a nigga, right, but those people are
still few and far in between. Most of the racism
we see as millennials, and yeah, we're all millennials, is
the systemic racism that people don't understand. And that's where

(25:27):
I think we have to do a better job, as
people love color, all of us being black, of explaining
that to some of our white counterparts, rather than just saying, oh,
everybody racist. I honestly don't feel that everybody is racist.
I do feel that people are miss informed and uneducated,
and rather than argue with them about their racism, just explain.

Speaker 4 (25:49):
To them history. Miseducated, yes, and more miseducated than others.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Because I just saw a meme and it wasn't really
a meme, it was more facts Oklahoma. The state of Oklahoma, right,
red state, overwhelmingly red state. When it comes to education, literacy, wealth,
they're all bottom three in America, right, And there's a
reason why.

Speaker 4 (26:17):
If you keep.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
People mis educated and uneducated, it's easily to do what control.
But then you go to a place like New Hampshire, right,
and main top two in everything but also education, and
they're both blue states. So our issue now is that
we're fighting against white people who just hate black people.
We're fighting against people who are really miseducated and uneducated.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
And here's the truth.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
It ain't only white people, because there are a lot
of miseducated and uneducated black people. And I watched it
in this election cycle. I watch people our age who
look just like us, say things and do things that
I'm like, yo, you have no idea what you're talking about.
And those are the people who voted for Trump. Because overwhelmingly,

(27:01):
outside of what people think, people think like, oh, we
were split on voting for Trump black people, we were
not split. The overwhelming majority of black people voted for Kamala,
you know what I'm saying. But the people who didn't
vote for Kamala and voted for Trump or didn't vote
at all or didn't vote at all, voted because they
weren't informed about everything that was going to affect us.
And now we see people, not only black people, white

(27:24):
people upset. I watched on the news the firefighters from
nine to eleven and the police officers fro nine eleven
are pissed. All white Italian, Irish German men right who
mostly voted for Trump are pissed now because the Trump
administration voted to get rid of Medicare and Medicaid for

(27:46):
survivors of nine to eleven.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
So now they all pissed.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
And I'm just like, hey, guys, if you were educated
on what you were talking about, you would have voted
for someone who wouldn't take your liberties away. And that's
why I no longer to blame like our contemporaries of
white people for the state of white America.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
It goes way deeper than that.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
And I just want to know what y'all think about that,
because I don't look at the white person calls me,
be like you just racist, your parents had slaves.

Speaker 4 (28:13):
I don't. I don't look at it like that.

Speaker 5 (28:14):
I think there's a couple of people, well, from what
I've observed from a distance people who I've done business
within the past, or former clients when I was a
makeup artist, and some of them have voted openly and
will say that they voted for Trump. And I know
that one in particular was very much in favor of
Trump because Trump was now going to go back to
there being only two genders. Voted and she was like,

(28:40):
I'm raising children now. She think she has like three
or four kids, and she's like, and that's the big
that was her biggest arguing point, Like she wants to
be in a world where her daughter can go to
the bathroom and I have to worry about other people
being in there.

Speaker 8 (28:52):
But she can't right now, whether there's two genders or not,
as long as there's a man on the planet, you
can't go send your daughter to the bathroom exactly.

Speaker 5 (29:01):
So then she's the same person now crying.

Speaker 4 (29:04):
I'm saying it's the truth, though, but you see what
I'm saying about.

Speaker 5 (29:08):
Just like the one thing that she kept harping on.
But then now she's the same person crying because her
mom was let go from her job because of d E. I.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Because of d E.

Speaker 5 (29:20):
I rollbacks a white woman who was in her job,
you know, and now she's a job anymore.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
And it's just like, now you want to be upset
about that? So what what exactly are these people.

Speaker 5 (29:33):
Who voted for him? Like, what was your like your
driving force? That's what I really want to understand.

Speaker 4 (29:39):
Because me and Matt talked about it.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
We're sitting here watching NBA games and a commercial comes
on and it says Trump Now it says Kamala, she
is for they them, Trump is for you.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Fear bongering.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
And it used to come on every Sunday minutes, bro,
and me and me and Matt used to.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Be laughing look at this like it's like how.

Speaker 7 (30:00):
Crazy liberal liberal commalis for commalass something like that, Trump
is for you? That's around there, And I was.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
Like, but that's fear.

Speaker 6 (30:10):
When when did the president control genders? That's like at
one of history did anybody think that Trump or Biden
can set genders in place? How is that the point that?
How is that the hell you're dying on?

Speaker 8 (30:25):
And if you believe that, you know, you can only
be born as male or female, you can't change it,
then why would you think the president can change it?

Speaker 1 (30:34):
That is a good point.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
That's not considering everything, like they hold on to one
point that they feel like is in favor of what
they believe. And then also it's also when you when
you vote, thinking it's not going to affect you and
your people.

Speaker 8 (30:53):
Yeah, like I'm stropping away somebody else's liberty to choose
how they want to dress, if they want to wear
or not, but it's not gonna affect me, so until
that boom comes back.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
It's also the lies I had to do.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
Tell me he only votes for Trump, he's a black
dude to the only voted for Trump because he's a
very successful businessman. And I was he was just like,
here's what he said to me. He's like, man, Trump
started from nothing and he's now worth like a billion dollars.
And I said, who started from nothing? I said, did
you miss the whole clip about him being clown saying
that I started from the bottom. My father gave me
a small million dollar loan? Did you forget about that?

(31:30):
And he was just like I didn't. I said, that's
the point. You didn't hear. You didn't try to look
for it research. I said, you know many time's Trump
went bankrupt? Yeah, he said, Trump's been bankrupt But that's
my point though, right, like I can't I start to
have empathy for people, and I may be wrong and
people are gonna be upset at me, but I have
empathy for racists.

Speaker 4 (31:50):
I have empathy for racists.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
And the reason why I have empathy for racist is
because if my mom or dad told me that I
had to hate certain people from the beginning of my
life and I and I just thought that that's how
it was. And then I went to church and those
same Christians, those Nationals tell me we got to hate
these people. How can you then blame that person who
is indoctrinated this way? Right, I have empathy for them,
and if they ask me that question, like why are

(32:13):
so angry? I do take my time. So when we
you know, the whole purpose of this podcast was like
surviving Trump's America. Right, you know how I'm surviving Trump's America.
Number one, Like you both said, I am going to
choose joy first. Why are we not marching? Because I'm
tired of marching? Right, I'm going to dance and sing
and enjoy my blackness. But also if I have a

(32:35):
chance to try to educate somebody, whether they be black, white, Asian,
Indian Latin or LATINX. I am going to educate them
on the history of race relations in this country because
most people don't.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
Know because it was taken out of American history level, you.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
Know what I'm saying, Like the fact that we even
have to call it black history is a problem because
now white people, Asian people, Indian LATINX are going to
be like, well, that's not my history, I don't have
to learn it. It is your history because you were
brought to this continent under the same pretense. A lot
of Asian people don't talk about this. Do you know
why Asians were considered model minorities Once they freed African

(33:13):
Americans here in eighteen sixty five, right, and we had
Western expansion, they needed to then cultivate the land to
build on it.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
Right, we can't get black people to build on it.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
So what we're going to do promise Asians when they
come over here, they're going to get the prosperity that
white people get. And what they did was they gave
Asians the opportunity to do all this other stuff and
said we're going to do this to separate yourself from
black people. This is a fact because Asian Americans have
said it over time. We were given loans, and we
were given red line business loans. Redline business loans mean

(33:45):
they would give Asian Americans, Indian Americans all the money
they need to open up their businesses in black communities,
not white communities, because they wanted Asians and Indians to
be able to circulate the money from black communities and
take it out the community. Because now those people and
those entrepreneurs take that money today community. But if you
go to white communities, you don't see anybody but white

(34:07):
people owning their stuff.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
And when you explain things like this to people, they
start to Because I.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
Definitely have Asian friends too. My father came here with nothing.
How come you know your parents have been here? How
come they haven't built? I said, well, do you understand
about Seneca Village in Telsa, Oklahoma? No, what is that
every time black people build something for themselves, much like
you did, like Chinatown, it was burned down. So if
people burned down Chinatown right now in New York, y'all

(34:35):
still gonna say the same thing.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
Oh, that's what we need. We need education of history.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
We don't need to feel sorry for ourselves. Because I
don't feel sorry about my blackness, but I also am
not gonna harbor no hatred towards people who are just
also just miseducated and uneducated.

Speaker 4 (34:52):
I'm not gonna do that no more. Y'all got problems
with me for whatever reason.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Okay, y'all got that problem, but I'm not gonna have
that roll around in chess.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
Is that why we have much Chinese Chinese food restaurants?

Speaker 5 (35:03):
And that is exactly what I was like Literally where
we used to live in Crown Heights, on the on
Notion Avenue, there was the Chinese food restaurant and the
liquor store owned by the Indian dude. And then yeah,
it's like literally in succession, and it repeats every two blocks.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
They were called the moat.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
They're called model minorities.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
You bring minorities into start business, and that business gets
taxed and that business goes into the government. But you
put those businesses in black communities, that was redlined. You
don't give them a lot of money. You give them
enough money to be able to spend money with other
model minorities.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
That's and and people don't understand that that was a systemic.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
Put in place.

Speaker 5 (35:39):
You know, m.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Very very interesting stuff.

Speaker 8 (35:44):
I think it's also interesting now that you were talking
about Asian Americans coming or Asians coming over. Something that
the President did recently was used the Alien Enemies Act
to deport a bunch of people kind of illegally. So
the Alien Enemies Act of seventeen ninety eight, it allowed

(36:04):
the US government to deport non citizens if they were
found to like say something disparaging about the government, or
you know, if they thought that they, you know, were
a part of some type of pretty much that.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
They recognized their color. Yes, like vagrancy acts. Yeah, if
you can't read or write or own property, now you're
a felon. And now we can put you in prison,
and we can use convict leasing to lease that work
out to people who don't have to pay you.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
So what they did with that.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Was, oh, these immigrants think that they can talk bad
about our government, we can do this and deport them.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
But let me ask you a question. If we deport
all the people who are here doing the work, who's
going to do it work?

Speaker 3 (36:43):
Who's going to do it?

Speaker 5 (36:44):
I just got to build in the mail from Bill, right,
I got to build in the mail from Bill talking
about the price increase going up for our landscaping for example, right,
and then Bill.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
Just told me simultaneously last spring.

Speaker 5 (36:59):
It's so hard to find workers. And you know your
flowers won't be put in for maybe about four to
six weeks. Somebody spring will be over by then, like
it'll be multiple and you want to up the price too,
And who's going to do the work because you ain't
doing it?

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Bill, Bill has some you know, say.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
He has some illegal people for the company so he
can pay them there minimal exactly, just like the government
did with the age over here to build the railroads
for western expansion.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
That is part of the American dream to.

Speaker 4 (37:33):
Bring people who.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Don't look like us.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
We villainize them, we criminalize their existence to keep them
in a small part of the country.

Speaker 5 (37:40):
But we need them, and we need them for LA
cannot function without their services.

Speaker 8 (37:47):
So, uh, you might have heard about I think his
name is my Mood Khalil. He was deported recently for
uh protesting what's happening in Gaza, Israel at Columbia.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
Yeah, there's test.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Going on, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Detained and we talked about taking funding away from Colombia.

Speaker 8 (38:06):
Yes, And Trump has been saying he'll deport students if
they speak, if they're pro Palestinian. And so what followed
the Alien Enemies Act was the Sedition Act of nineteen
seventy seventeen, where they targeted American citizens for speaking against
the government or anti war protests.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
That's when they created concentration camps here in America. Correct,
that was right right before, because they had concentration camps
here in americament camps, tenement camps, my bad, not concentration guys,
I'm sorry, which is very different, but tenement camps. That
was around the same time, right, I just want to
be clear. I don't know, because I know, I know

(38:44):
of Western expansion, there were tenement camps where a lot
of Asian people who were not quote unquote citizens.

Speaker 8 (38:52):
Oh you're talking about this was after yeah, this was
like the twenties. This was during World War War yeah,
or was it after World War Two?

Speaker 4 (39:00):
It was during Hiroshima? Yeah, so that was that's when.
It was right after Hiroshima.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
And it was just like the Asians were the enemy,
you know how you know how America always finds an enemy.
It was it was black people, internment cancers, black people,
then it was Asians then during nine to eleven it
was Muslims and Indian people. It's like America always finds
an enemy, you know, and they put a face on
the colored person and say that's the enemy.

Speaker 4 (39:24):
I think that's when that happened with those camps.

Speaker 8 (39:25):
So now, yeah, that was that was during World War
Two in the forties, but this sedition was happening from
the nineteen seventeens all through the fifties when you people
could get arrested for being accused of being communists, for
speaking out against the government, or for saying stuff like
we're saying black lives matter. There will come a time

(39:48):
during this presidency where if you are talking about black
lives matter. That's why they're making it illegal for race
based groups to exist.

Speaker 4 (39:56):
Is it's going to there's gonna be a shit show.
I mean, hasn't it been like that? Though?

Speaker 2 (40:00):
The Black Panther Party was pretty much considered a terrorist
organization in the sixties and seventies because they were trying
to feed their families.

Speaker 8 (40:07):
But that's where we're going back to the times in
the fifties and sixties where it was illegal to speak
out against the government.

Speaker 4 (40:13):
Free speeches.

Speaker 8 (40:14):
Is is going down and I blame Barack Obama for
all of it, because everybody was saying, we wanted a
black president. Finally black people get something that we've been owed.
And Barack Obama wouldn't even talk about reparations. He wouldn't
even prove the anti lynching laws. He didn't do anything

(40:35):
because he was too scared of anti white sentiment during
the time. And now Donald Trump is just blatantly doing
anything that conservative white men want.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
Him to do. Let me ask a question, though, was
he scared or was he handicapped?

Speaker 8 (40:48):
He said that, Well, I guess okay, but he did
say that it was because he saw, you know, the
effects of anti white sentiment during the time.

Speaker 4 (41:00):
Now I will agree with that. Right every time, you
can't be handicapped, because that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 8 (41:05):
Trump is showing us that as president, you don't have
to listen to anybody himself.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
Right.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
I think Bock's hands retired with a lot of things.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Think about history, right, Frederick Douglas. What came after Frederick Douglas?
That this is the power hate? Martin Luther King? What
happened after Martin Luther King white hate? We got mass incarceration.
What I think is and I'm only speaking what I
think because I never spoke to Barack Obama. He is

(41:36):
now the president of the free world. Is it going
to be more detrimental to my people if I go
up here and I am the black president or if
I'm a president. That's what I think. He was dealing
with a lot of right for a lot of people
who don't have empathy for people who understand the power
that comes with that, they just be like, he's supposed
to be our president. He's supposed to do this, he's

(41:56):
supposed to do that. But they don't understand history. Every
time we had someone's they end up publicly for us.
They came down harder on our people. And that's why
to journal truth and freaking Harriet Tubman created things like
the Underground World World.

Speaker 4 (42:10):
We don't have to exclaim anything, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 8 (42:14):
Yeah, I get that, But like when the America was
just the thirteen colonies that was ruled by the British
and the French. The people that founded America, that was
their whole thing. They had to stand up and they
got came down on harder every time and then until
they had to go to war. And I feel like
black people were only willing to go so far. You

(42:35):
know what I'm saying, Like, if we get somebody in
the presidential seat, that person has to be willing to
put themselves on the line. I feel like for black
people or else, we're never gonna get there.

Speaker 4 (42:44):
I disagree with that.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
I feel like if he goes in there and put
himself on the line for black people, he gonna be
finished and Black finished.

Speaker 4 (42:51):
That's just my opinion. It could happen that way, that's
my opinion.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
I just think that it's unfair to put that on
on him. I feel like we have learned though that
we even if we have a black president, we never
going to be the priority. That's why I said, I
don't give a fuck who the president is. You know
what I'm saying. I'm just like, yo, let them do
what they do at that level. And because my biggest
focus is what I deal with every single day. Right,
I go from here to my kids' school, I go

(43:14):
from here to the studio, I go from here to
the airport, right, and then I'm building. So I got
to make sure everything around these areas is good.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
Right.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
We went to our local We went to those local
meetings for the Democrats earlier because we wanted to know
who our local government was, you know. So that's my
biggest thing is, Okay, the president can do whatever he wants.
I want to know who my old min is city council.

Speaker 4 (43:35):
I want to know those people.

Speaker 7 (43:36):
Those are the most important. People don't know. And that's
the problem with our community. We don't know those people.
We don't do mid mid season polls or all these
we don't participate, and then when it's time we start complaining. Also,
only was the president while they had the House. It
ends with tied that literally facts.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
I mean when he forged out in, I think we
had the House and then we didn't vote, and then
they got that.

Speaker 7 (44:01):
So Democrats had the House and the Senate.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
I believe when Obama first got in we had the
House because I remember I don't remember, you can look
it up, but I remember people saying that once we
won the presidency, black people stopped voting and we lost control.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
That's what I kept hearing.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
And they said the last six years of Obama's presidency,
he really couldn't do much because they wouldn't control everything
was read at that point.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
Yeah, I don't think anything was getting past.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
And then he got obama Care passed, which they're quickly
rolling back now, Yeah, you know what I'm saying, because
they just want to undo anything that he's done.

Speaker 8 (44:34):
Yeah, and I do think racism is a distraction from
everything else because I did also see a video of
white people immigrants in California that were upset because they're
losing their Medicaid. Yeah, a dude on oxygen who voted
for Trump is out there now upset because he's going
to lose his health care and he can't afford that

(44:55):
damn oxygen without it. So I think I do think
that everybody it is class issue.

Speaker 4 (45:01):
I think that's a class issue.

Speaker 8 (45:02):
Racism always distracts people from the fact that they're poor
and they don't have any power either. If you are
not in the top one percent, you don't have shit,
you know. And so you should be on the same
side because right now there's somebody who is the president
has to be us born, and he his closest advisor

(45:22):
right now, is not elected.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (45:29):
Let's remember that.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Is doing the same thing in Germany with their government
that he's doing here. He's using his billions to pretty
much create an oligarchy and all of these these places
so that he can have control to do whatever he
wants to do, which is make more trillions.

Speaker 4 (45:43):
That's all he whatever wants to do.

Speaker 7 (45:46):
So I got it here. Nine to eleven Democrats out
of the House and the same so the first two years, the.

Speaker 4 (45:52):
First two years, So that's what happened the first two years,
and then.

Speaker 7 (45:56):
His final two years Republicans at it both. Oh well,
that makes it was split for four years and then
for the last two Uh, they had it.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
One thing I want to say before we take a break,
because we will have to take a break, I do
want I want people to realize this. Black people have
never been the priority right in this country. But also
black people haven't been the priority to take down because
they don't even care enough about us to try to
take us down. That's why we need to be more quiet.
Right the whole DEI thing, a lot of black people
got upset they rolling.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
Back to the DEI programs.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
But what they don't realize the people who benefited the
most was white women.

Speaker 4 (46:31):
So then rolling back DEI programs isn't going to affect
us directly?

Speaker 7 (46:36):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (46:36):
Fucked up?

Speaker 2 (46:36):
Yeahs fucked up? But it doesn't directly affect us the
way we think it will. And that's how sometimes we
got to get out of our emotions and be like, Okay,
I see y'all, I see what y'all doing. Let me
you know what I'm saying. That's why I think that's
what I am with it. I'm not even focused on the.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
Other bullshit the more you know.

Speaker 5 (46:53):
All Right, y'all, let's take a quick break and we're
going to get back with our listener letter of today.
All right, and we're back. Let's dive into listen letter

(47:14):
and see what y'all say. I'm mountain this week.

Speaker 4 (47:15):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (47:17):
I met my boyfriend back in undergrad at Delaware State University.
He's from Fort Lauderdale born and raised, while I'm originally
from up North. After college, I found myself moving to
Fort Lauderdale, not technically for him, partially because I got
into a master's program in Miami, but let's be honest,
it was mostly for him. That sounds like me, Yeah,
I'm sure. Yeah, it's like it worked out. It was

(47:38):
the divine intervention. Fast forward to now we're living together.
He's a teacher with big dreams of becoming a principal,
and I'm one hundred percent his biggest cheerleader. On top
of that, he started a referee assignment business that he's
determined to grow here in Florida. But here's where things
get spicy. We love a little spice.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
I recently gave him an ultimatum.

Speaker 5 (48:01):
I told him that when I graduate with my doctorate,
it's time for him to put a ring on it
or I'm out of there. I have big plans for
my future and I don't want to put my goals
on hold. I intend to become a motivational speaker and
a professor at an HBCU back home near Jersey. So
I'm curious what's your take on this? Is it too
much pressure? Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Speaker 4 (48:29):
Whatever?

Speaker 2 (48:29):
You already know how I feel about this. I like
when people say what they need and what they want
and what they require. I hate ultimatums because I feel
like it's unfair, Like ultimatums is your way of the highway.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
And if this is supposed to be a.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Team, how about you tell me what you want and
let's see if we can work out a way to
get what you want while getting what I want. But
when it's the ultimatum. Put a ring on it. After this,
when I'm done, it's kind of like, wait a minute,
so now I have to live on your timeline.

Speaker 4 (48:56):
That throws meals.

Speaker 5 (48:57):
I wonder if this person listen to you, I think
we've done it episode about this where we or at
least when we explained when we were in a similar situation.
So Devall was playing in Detroit at the time, and
I was finished grad school, moved to Detroit to be
with you because I know you needed the company and
the support. You needed it while you were there, and
then it was me trying to figure out, Okay, what's next.

(49:19):
I think in hindsight, once I really like hashed out
my what my apprehension was at the time, it was
that I couldn't just be stagnant while you were building
essentially like your NFL career, and I was just there right,
you know. So when you felt like I gave you
an ultimatum where I told you, like, listen, either we're
going to be like committed to this future or I'm

(49:40):
going to go back to New York and try to
find a job. I realized now that it was me
just not wanting to just be stagnant and just sit
there waiting for you. It was me feeling like I
needed to do something. I felt like I had my
parents watching me from a distance, like up and moved
from New York to Detroit, you know, to be with
your boyfriend. But it's like, what are you doing for yourself?

(50:02):
So for you, Hun, I think my biggest the I.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Think how she gives that message is important because the
way you said it just now wasn't the way you
said it. Remember you said to me, I'm going back
to New York. I'm not trying to be your living girlfriend, right,
Like think about you say.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
That to delivery and words have power.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
Words have power, right.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
So I feel like for a lot of people in
this situation, because we've had a couple of men to
be like I'm ready for you, and she don't want
to do this. It's like, Yo, don't give people ultimatums, right,
tell them what your plan is, right, tell them you
have timetables, how you feel is what.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
You want and what you need.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
Absolutely, if that person values you and your company, they'll
find a way to make it work for both of y'all.
If they don't, they're going to be like a well
that's what you want to do, what you gotta do.
And then from there, you.

Speaker 5 (50:46):
Know, because she did say she was He's from Fort Lauderdale.
She got into a program in Miami, maybe on purpose
to be with him, maybe not. But then at the
end of this she says she wants to eventually be
a motivational speaker and be up at HBCU and Jersey.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
Does he plan to leave Florida to go back up
to Jersey?

Speaker 6 (51:01):
Like?

Speaker 5 (51:02):
Is that even in the cards for him? Or is
he assuming that, Well, you came to Florida to be
here with me, so maybe we'll build a life in Florida. Like,
these are just open conversations that need to be have
with your full intentions laid out on the table.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
Have a question for sure, is she gonna be a
motivational speaker and she plans on being good? How come
she can't motivate this man to put a ring on.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
God inquiring mind of motivations, that's a whole different.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
You cannot motivate anybody to want to be married.

Speaker 5 (51:34):
The wantval has said, and I've heard this from several men,
Josh and Matt included. Men have a timeline, Men have
a plan. If his intention is to be with you
long term and to marry you. Chances are he's already
thinking about that, and he's already putting the wheels in
motion and making the plans.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Did you have a.

Speaker 4 (51:54):
Plan, Josh? Did you have a plan when you were ana.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
To propose and eventure?

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Did you foresee like this is going to be my wife,
and I got a plan and I want to do it?

Speaker 6 (52:03):
Yeah at twenty six. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
See, so these three different men who al said they
had a plan, And if the woman at that time
would have been like, well it hate it happened at
twenty three or I'm out, she'd have blocked a blessing,
like that's just a fact, you know what I'm saying, Like,
that's just a fact.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
Did you have a plan at the time?

Speaker 4 (52:18):
I always had a plan.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
I had to play.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
I mean, whom I asking.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
Think about it?

Speaker 2 (52:21):
When I was the first date, I told you that
I wanted to go to the NFL in the practice
squad get one hundred thousand dollars so we could buy
a brownstone and we can live downstairs.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
And you said, how we going to do it?

Speaker 3 (52:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (52:36):
And I told you the plan I know, and that
was my and you were included.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
In my plane the plan.

Speaker 4 (52:41):
That was the first delusion, that was the first day.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
That's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 5 (52:44):
I'm like, he said it, But what in me after
the first date and at that age felt like I
really wanted to put my trust.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
Into this crazy I don't know, because two weeks later
you told me you loved me, and I was like,
this girl's fucking nuts.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
So you had a plan too, You had a plan,
You've seen it. I did.

Speaker 3 (53:02):
Indeed, Lulu I was de Lulu before de Lulu was
a thing.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Everything we've done in our relationship would be considered red
flags in the.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Same age if you think about it so unconventional.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Like you're telling me you love me in two weeks
red flag, me telling you my whole plan for my life, red.

Speaker 3 (53:21):
Flag, and me signing up for that ride, red flag.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
You're including yourself in my plan when I told you,
red flag?

Speaker 1 (53:28):
That's did People say that all the time.

Speaker 7 (53:30):
What we're doing, what you're talking about, what we're doing.

Speaker 4 (53:32):
It's only a red flag if you don't like facts.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
But people say in relationships, if you're a single woman,
you don't do this if.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
You're a single man.

Speaker 6 (53:41):
Second, you wanted to marry a nigga since you was
in third grade.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
You know what, Josh, you might be right.

Speaker 5 (53:48):
Maybe I just had asked for you early on, and
I just felt something early early on, Like who.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Knows, It's just it's just what we always tell people.
Listen to yourself, listen to your spouse, and listen to God.
Nobody else can tell you what your plan is for life.
Can't nobody here tell me what my plan was for you?
My father and my mother couldn't. They told me that
I was moving too fast. Your mother told.

Speaker 3 (54:08):
You you was moving to fast.

Speaker 4 (54:09):
The only person who never told you anything was your father.
So your father's like, you guys, do what you.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Guys do.

Speaker 7 (54:16):
Him.

Speaker 4 (54:18):
I swear that's what he told me.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
Did y'all ever tell you how I spoke to her parents? Yo,
this is a true story. It's only gonna be thirty seconds.
Sit her mom and dad down and said, listen, and
I want to get married to a dean. I love
her and I want to make her my wife. Your
father said, what you guys do? What you guys does do?

Speaker 4 (54:39):
I think we should have a drink? Said I think
we should ever do?

Speaker 2 (54:44):
And her mother said, Mary just can't get done as
you give away to have Did I have a plan
and you know what's going on? And I was like, actually,
I do have a plan. And then your father said
we could.

Speaker 4 (54:55):
Go over this a drink downstairs. Her mother was pissed.
Bro he took me downstairs, never asked about the plan.

Speaker 5 (55:06):
But then if you let my mother tell the story,
your father used to kick me up at night?

Speaker 3 (55:10):
How did Kadeen get up and move all the way
over to Michigan?

Speaker 5 (55:14):
And like, first of all, it's Michigan, Mom, It's not
like this.

Speaker 3 (55:18):
H I know, I know how I Jamaican Zoo, but
it's Michigan. You just pick up and move to Michigan.
And how I'm going to explain that to your grandmother?
And I'm just like, yeah, that's so. That's so typical
my parents.

Speaker 4 (55:29):
But I mean your father does do that, though he does.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Her father will act like everything is okay, and then
when we all leave, be on her.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
Mother about him. How you're gonna let this happen? This happened,
And she said.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
These questions yourself, but you chose to have a drink
and go downstairs and drinking it's all about the drinks.

Speaker 4 (55:46):
Just like I just want to marry your daughter.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
This if I was delusional at that age, and you
probably were just as.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
Delusional to delusional now true I've been. When I first
saw you, no, Lie, I was like, damn, sorry.

Speaker 7 (56:03):
Aren't most dreams that you aspire to, like really big
dreams and stuff? You got to have a little bit
of a.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
Lot of delusion and insanity.

Speaker 4 (56:14):
I don't think it's delusion. Everybody will believe in God, right,
that's the higher being.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Right, God, I think exists to give you the visions
of where you're supposed to be in life.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
You listen to God, he.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
Tells you your journey ultimately as well.

Speaker 4 (56:28):
Yeah, but ultimately he gave you the vision of what
it was for you.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
He can give it to me.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
So when you say you love me, it's because somebody
made it clear to you, like this is where I
was supposed to be. The same way when I told
you my plan for my life, God gave me that
vision for me to say this is what I'm going
to do. Most people to that point were just.

Speaker 4 (56:46):
Like, TV, you're not doing that.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
And this woman right here said, so, how are you
going to do it?

Speaker 4 (56:56):
And I in my mind, I was like, what made
I think that I was capable of.

Speaker 1 (56:59):
Do it this, but the fact that you believe there
in me made me be like, nah, this is the one.

Speaker 5 (57:05):
It might be because I also wanted to be on
TV and do those things and haven't been.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
You know, a pageant.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Asked Matt.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
I told Matt the visions guy gave me about you
over ten years ago.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
I was like, my wife's going to do this. My
wife is going to do this.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
I'm gonna do this, watch this, and hasn't it all
come to pass? And it's not because I'm a brilliant genius.
God gave me the vision.

Speaker 4 (57:31):
So stupid God gave me the vision. He said, just
follow follow this the fun. Look, look, look, come on, come.

Speaker 7 (57:36):
On and here guys is why I go home to
my house.

Speaker 4 (57:43):
Queen, you can always say.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
Well, be sure to follow us on Patreon.

Speaker 5 (57:56):
If you want to be featured as a listener letter,
be sure to email us at the Llis Advice gmail
dot com.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
That is, you better get off my lap because this
can turn into a only phasis real quick.

Speaker 4 (58:09):
We got about seven care save.

Speaker 8 (58:11):
You know.

Speaker 7 (58:12):
Josh don't got no soul.

Speaker 4 (58:13):
He put this.

Speaker 6 (58:17):
And we try.

Speaker 7 (58:22):
I love you.

Speaker 8 (58:24):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
The Ellison's Advice that's t h E E L L
I S A d V I C E at.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
Gmail dot com. All right, y'all, moment of truth. We're
talking about surviving Trump, surviving the presidency, surviving the next
four years of our lives.

Speaker 4 (58:41):
In the next four years.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
My moment is hoof is next four years. Educate yourself
on the history, world history, so you can learn how
to navigate. And nothing's too too much, it's not too overwhelming.
Educate yourself and learn how to navigate.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
My mom want the truth. Kind of spirals off of that.
Each one, teach one. If you know one, if you
know very simple, if you know better, you do better.

Speaker 5 (59:04):
You know some information that could potentially change the mindset
of someone because it's a fact. Then use the opportunity
to do that and learn your line dances because I'm
coming for you.

Speaker 6 (59:15):
Okay, huh, each one, Yeah good, Yeah, Mama, was the truth?

Speaker 7 (59:25):
Uh wildly profound.

Speaker 3 (59:30):
I see the wheels turning, obamatomically no God.

Speaker 6 (59:37):
Now for the next four years, just put your head down,
don't watch the news, don't get sensationalized. Just make sure
you're taking uh taking care of yourself and your your
loved ones. Man, because reality is is that this country
isn't really This country doesn't even care about itself. The
country cares more about the people. The people in power

(59:58):
care about themselves and the next person who looks like them,
So you know, put your head down and do what
you gotta do.

Speaker 7 (01:00:04):
That's I don't even know if they care about the
other person that looks like it. They don't. They care
about their bottom line.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
You care about.

Speaker 6 (01:00:11):
Capitalist country, and we cannot get that that money money
what is cream stand.

Speaker 4 (01:00:18):
For cash throughs everything around me.

Speaker 7 (01:00:20):
You get the money there, you go America.

Speaker 4 (01:00:28):
And you're the woo instead, get out of these dates.

Speaker 7 (01:00:31):
New York Podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
My moment of truth is y'all need to go ahead
and put that video only fans, period.

Speaker 8 (01:00:38):
It's a whole audience of people out there, taps fountain.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
It's definitely been, it's definitely.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
And it's overflowist. Okay, period. Be sure to find us
on the only fans. I'm just kidding. Be sure to
find us on Patrion.

Speaker 1 (01:00:59):
God, yo, we are terrible.

Speaker 4 (01:01:01):
This is terrible.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
This is terrible, terrible, like a mechanical cople Find us
on Patreon, y'all because it goes down there.

Speaker 5 (01:01:10):
Okay, good times on the After Show, exclusive l s
ever After content, more family content from the Ellis's and
you can find us on social media at Ellis I'm
trying so hard to like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
Be professional.

Speaker 6 (01:01:26):
On my lap.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
You can't, you said on my lap, I see you blushing?

Speaker 7 (01:01:29):
This all right, y'all can find me on Instagram and
add underscore Matt dot else you got to get out
of here.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
Ell Us ever After. I'm Kadeen, I am and I
am de Val.

Speaker 6 (01:01:37):
I'm Matt, and I am Josh Dwayne as j O
s h u A Underscore d w A, I M.

Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
You can find me at Tribs The Cool Trips with a.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
Z, The Cool on Everything And if you're listening on
Apple Podcasts, be sure and great review and subscribe and as.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
Always, we love to say baby.

Speaker 6 (01:01:59):
Ya god.

Speaker 8 (01:02:02):
Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, Production
by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashawan
rowe Gi