Churning butter and pre glazed

Enya might be the last pure woman and Drew won’t shut up about his new phone

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:16):
My first topic, I want to wait, welcome to this
episode of emergency in or Colm. The first thing I
want to talk about. Why are all of the cans
of cokes little?

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Now?

Speaker 1 (00:26):
I want a big can of coke?

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Wait?

Speaker 4 (00:28):
I thought you like you vibes with miniesodas, like mini
sodas are in I like.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Them, That's what I'm saying. Why bring back big soda,
big cola?

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Why do you want like a bigger thing?

Speaker 4 (00:39):
Though, I will say I've gotten to the point that, like,
if I'm opening any sort of mini can of soda,
I'm going in for a second round.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Like exactly, I opened two of them and half. You said,
what I opened two of themen, I drink one and
a half, which equals one regular can of soda, And
I'm like, girl, I want.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
But isn't it so fun to make waste in the stake?

Speaker 1 (01:02):
It does make me feel like a giant, Like when
I hold it, I'm like, oh my god, my hands
are so big and masculine.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
Kinder to like everyday task pipeline, like everybody was obsessed
with the Kinder toys.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Are those still around?

Speaker 1 (01:14):
I think they got banned in America because too many
kids like choked on the plastic on the inside. But
they're in other countries, but I think recently they brought
them back. What I really used to get down with
where the wonder eggs with the like the powder candy.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Like, yeah, I like the flavor of the powder candy
inside though that was always a bummer.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
I just liked that it would be like shaking.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, it was. It was a treat and you could
shake it like a little ball.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Sorry, guys, if I'm a little bit distant, I just
found out here. He goes like really serious medical news.
But anyway, I just keep going because like I don't
want to like be a burden or bring you guys down.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
You are not a burden because I unronically in the
three minutes I was staring at Drew.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Forgot you were here. So you're not a burden.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
You're actually like, oh, it's like that's a good thing.
You like blend into the background.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
Yeah, like nobody.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Remember I got a call from my doctor right before
the episode started and he was basically like, you have
a really serious condition. It's like pre cancerous whatever. And
then I walked in expecting like a bunch of emotional
support from you guys, and Drew was just looking at himself.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
And wait this also like this is not a bit
like genuinely, I was normal, guys, I need it, like
I know.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
Usually you'd be like, what that's Drew doing that? I
thought the haggridy fucking wench.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
And your uman's or bitch face would be doing that.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
No, I was actually really chill and had an odd
reply of not knowing what to say.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Well, it was the reason I was recording myself because
I was like, one, it's pre cancerous. It's not even
cancer too, it.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Still has the word cancer in it, so.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
I feel like it make you feel better.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I speaking of bouncing on it.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
Let's get into you know, finished the fact that you
were a complete narcissist. And Drew got in here, got
into my chair. I came inside and I was like
standing over him for a minute. He just kept recording
me and recording himself.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
I got a new phone in the camera is amazing.
You have to y'all. Ever y'all ever heard of the
iPhone seventeen and cosmic orange? Oh? Well I have.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
It's adding cosmic to it is like.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
I literally hate this phone with my whole chest. I
think it's the worst phone ever created. But I was
forced to get this goddamn phone. And I will explain
in a second, but I want to explain myself with
Kai I do. I am genuinely worried, worried for you.
I was we were like playing bits, but like I'm not.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Like faltering call And then I walk in and Drew's
like serving to his selfie camera and I feel we
can insert the video.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, we insert the video. I think he's finding you.
He has like pre cancerous polyps and his golon what
like good?

Speaker 2 (04:07):
And to be honest, you do look good.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Thank you.

Speaker 5 (04:09):
It was a lie.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
It was the blue light. I was sinking my hair
look too big today, But I don't know.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
But anyway, yeah, it's like, okay, pre cancerous. I feel
like maybe a raise would help. My doctor said a
raise would help.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Raising canes. Yeah, we should go get you in the
big cup of raisin cans.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
Yeah, tonight, you're going to raise your hands all fucking night.
You're going to raise your arms, raise your hands.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, speaking of canes, I made a caniac in your toilet.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Oh you made a big slush.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
What does that mean?

Speaker 2 (04:42):
It's like the jumbo side because.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
I don't fuck with canes because I've only eaten it
once and it was in fuck ass Nevada or Nebraska,
and I pisoning and I ended up in the hospital.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
I heard her blowing that fucking toilet up both orifices,
butthole and mouth all night long.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
It was so bad. It was literally awful.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
It was explosive. She was hospitalized. I was crying, and
I waited in that Nebraska hospital waiting room for like
an hour and a half and it was one of
the scariest things. And all I could think about was
like me like inhaling other people's like diabolical illnesses into
my lungs. But I was there for you. And then
I went to the basketball game. Should I tell the

(05:28):
story about this?

Speaker 3 (05:29):
I really did.

Speaker 4 (05:30):
And I was just like knocked down at the hotel,
like in and out of consciousness.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
I was like, well, I wasn't gonna be able to
make it. It was a march madness game.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
But I told you to go because I was like, bitch,
I'll be fine.

Speaker 4 (05:40):
I just have to wake up periodically and eat bananas
and crackers and drink water, like I'll live.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
And I'm the cracker and I'm the banana in question.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
I feel kind of free, like, oh, weight, it's been
lifted off my shoulders.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Because you found out that you have pre cancerous conditions.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Like it's like I don't have much time left. I
feel like I don't really care about the things I
used to it.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
You should live, you know, like fuck it, like literally,
like do your thing, like nothing matters.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
Like you should try heroin tonight.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh, I have actually trips you.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
I would have tried heroin before. I've actually tried it
recently a bunch.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
You know, I genuinely believe you when you said that.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
I've never done heroin.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
No, I mean you're like to see how defensive you're
gonna it kind of seems like somebody.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
No, I would never do that because it involves needles.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
I used to believe white people when they say stuff
like that.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
You know, I don't even fuck with drugs like that.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Well, it's because you do heroin.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
I did. I do pills.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
It's different. He smokes. He smokes oxy opona eighties. He
smokes eighties, and he like melts the like hard green
shell off on the outside. I took three of those
two hundred and forty milligrams straight to the dome.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
I literally, I'm not kidding. It's so crazy.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
I get d ms every day that people think I'm
like actively addicted to coke and ozombic when I am
probably the least like dabbled in drugs ever. But I
think I'm in the year which this actually seems like
something I should guide my spirit away from. But twenty
seven feels like the year finally just doing a bunch
of drugs.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yes, I agree, I'm not kidding, Like it's just time,
like I gotta.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
Rip the band aid off.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, Like it's really it's like that era of our lives.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
I think, yeah, I gotta get it out, fuck it.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
But what was I saying? Oh my iPhone? So let's
get into it, shall we. It's a fucking dooozy. It's
a thirty minute story.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
I'm the late stage.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah. So I've heard to a house party on the
thirtieth and I'm like, oh, this is gonna be so fun.
Like I'm waiting out front, waiting for our chauffeur to
get us Enya and Rain pop up. We had no
idea who or we had no idea you each other
was going to this party and then we meet out

(08:01):
front and we're like, what the fuck? This is crazy?

Speaker 4 (08:04):
Last time you had seen me that night, I was like,
I'm not going out. I know, I know, and I
was actually still kind of fucking pissed.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
And then we're still waiting. We're like kind of kiking me,
and You're like, okay, we should leave where you weren't invited,
and now we're loitering outside of this person's home. This
is kind of weird. But then two more of our
friends show up and we're like.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
Ho, larify we were invited by like our mutual friends,
like we weren't directly invited, which I think me and
Drew really easily over because I literally.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
Get so freaked out about going to somewhat anybody's anything
because I'm like, what are like what for the first.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
Time ever, I DM someone asking to go to their
party today and she said, yes, you.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
Just have to be brave sometimes I literally.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Well the way I know, I know, I literally I
literally said that in the message. I was like, this
is so embarrassing and I can't believe I'm doing this
and I'm so sorry, but like I've never done this before,
but can I go to your party and she was like, girl,
chill the fuck out.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
Literally need to chill because I don't have underwear on,
so I'm not kidding. Can you please mark it down
and make sure my couci isn't out?

Speaker 2 (09:07):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Who that is so funny.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
I had to literally ask Kai for something last night,
and I felt disgusting.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
I hate asking anybody for anything.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
So we are out front of this house, me, you rain,
and then two more of our friendshow up and I'm like, oh,
this is gonna be fun, and like, I hadn't seen
them since Coachella, so I give one off them a
hug and it's like very sweet oxytocin brewing, like it's
a vibe. And then I give the second one a
hug who I know less, and he, without knowing because

(09:41):
he was already drunk, knocked my iPhone fifteen out of
my hand and it fell like perfectly, but it wouldn't
even fall that high. It fell from like here, but
the way it fell, it like fell face down and
then there was like a chunk of asphalt sticking out
of the road and it just hit my phone perfectly.

(10:03):
And the way it fell I knew immediately. I was like,
this phone is broken, so I didn't pick it up.
I just left it there for like ten minutes and
just like kind of walked around and talked to everybody,
and I was like, Okay, it's where our friend got here,
it's time to go, and I go and pick it up. Girl,
the whole phone is black except for the top part,
and it's just like the brightest white you've ever seen.
I think I know.

Speaker 4 (10:23):
It was actually like Drew went to go show it
to me and without realizing blinded me.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
No, it was dangerous. It was like flashing, literally literally dangerous.
So I was like, Okay, I'm not gonna let this
ruin my night. I'm gonna have fun. I put my
phone in my pocket, didn't have a phone for the
rest of the night. Do this house party. It was fun.
Then we go to the chateau after weikiki around. I
get nauseous because I took mushroom chocolate. Yeah, literally that's
so chopped. Ew Why did I say that, but took

(10:54):
mushroom chocolate. I think it made me nauseous. That's what
made me nauseous. I didn't feel the mushrooms, but the
mushrooms I felt na just from whatever. But Paloma gave
me zofran, which is a rare fucking commodity. You can't
get that ship. OTC can't even get that ship in Mexico.
And I want like a hundred bottles of that because
if you're nauseous, you just take a zofran and you're good.

(11:16):
It's like, so, I know it is so lip.

Speaker 4 (11:19):
But I had one that I had for emergencies because
I get really, really fucking carsick super easily.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Bitch. I had it in my jeans, and I fucking
washed it.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Since I would have been licking those jeans. I would
have been licking them like I would have drank the water.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
I get.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Like that, like sucking the water out. But phone breaks.
Go to party, have fun, go to chateau, have fun,
go home and I'm like, girl, this is party party,
next party, party, have fun, club bar, and then I
get home. I don't even process it. Wake up the

(12:02):
next day and I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna be brave.
It's Halloween, mind you, I'm gonna go to the Apple store.
I'm just gonna get this phone fixed because I love
this phone. And I do not subscribe to this level
of capitalism. I do not subscribe to plans, planned opso
lessons like it's evil. I will have this iPhone fifteen
for another twenty years, or until the folding iPhone comes out,

(12:26):
which is next year.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
Okay, that's really like, but it's really like.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
Or when they make a flying cards like or when
they do the inevitable update that everybody's done already and we're.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Just next year. It's coming next year, y'all.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
So no way are you gonna keep this iPhone for
fifteen years?

Speaker 2 (12:42):
No?

Speaker 1 (12:43):
Fuck, no, fuck this goddamn fucking piece of shit, ugly ass,
fucking piece of shit phone.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
Ugh.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
Do they not sell the old phones anymore?

Speaker 1 (12:49):
No, huh they do. So I go to the Apple
store and I don't have an appointment, but the guy's like, oh,
it should just be like ten minutes. Just go sit
over and wait. It's just a crack screen. Like, you'll
be good, go over. Wait almost an entire hour waiting
on an Apple store employee to come over to me
to tell me the worst news I've ever heard in

(13:10):
my life, which was, oh, like, you just want your
screen fix? Yeah, oh well you can't do that because
your Apple Care expired like three days ago. And I
was like, I was like okay, my god. I rolled
my eyes and then I was like, okay, what is
it gonna be? Like one hundred and fifty dollars? Like
that's so fucking annoying, but like it beats buying a

(13:32):
fifteen hundred dollars phone, Like what He's like, ooh, actually
it's gonna be four hundred dollars And my heart sank
and I was like, that is so much fucking money,
first of all, and to fix a screen on a
piece of shit phone that's four years old, like girl,
get a fucking grip challenge. But I was like, what
would you do? And of course the Apple store employee

(13:53):
did the Apple store employee thing and was like, go
buy a phone, and I was like okay, Well I
went and I was like okay, I think I'm just
gonna get the air because they didn't have this phone
in stock. And I was like whatever, I'll just get
the air. And then I wait in another line for
almost two hours waiting to buy a fucking phone at

(14:15):
the Apple Store. I waited in line to not even
have I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (14:21):
Did you never question? And like I did?

Speaker 1 (14:24):
I did. Everybody in line there was like twenty people
by the time I was like up front every single.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
Person, so many people buying fucking.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
I don't know. And it was on Halloween, of all
nights too. I was like, or all day whatever, Well it's.

Speaker 4 (14:36):
Because there was like it's Halloween, nobody's going to the
fucking store today.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Literally, I'm a smart guy. But I get to the
front of the line. There's one other guy in front
of me, and like we're kind of chopping it up,
we're having fun, We're like talking and like I was like, oh,
this is like a really cool guy. Like he's he's
really nice, Like he can talk with me, he can
hang he's actually telling me things about this iPhone air

(15:00):
I don't even know, Like this is so interesting, Like
I've never met an advanced old guy. And he was
also fine Shiita No.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
I think that kind of like you being impressed by
an employee knowing.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
How to He wasn't an employee. It was a random
It was a random dude in front of me in mine.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
How suitable was his face?

Speaker 1 (15:21):
Like a two out of ten? It was not getting sable. Yeah,
it was not getting suitable. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
I guess I'm the last person to be like, ill, wait,
what was his lie?

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Like, yeah, I don't truly know, but there was something
there was his aura his interview.

Speaker 3 (15:35):
Yeah, yea, yeah, yeah, I can feel that. I don't
know if i'd be like turned.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
Off by like a random dude man explaining it went away.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
It went away immediately, like it went away so quickly
because he's talking to me, and then all of a sudden,
he like glazes over and he like he just like
I could feel his heart beating, like like you're doing kayak.
I could feel it, And I was like what is
this man like on about? And I was like, oh,
is he about to like try to hook up with me?
Is he gonna like molest me? Like what is literally

(16:03):
happening right now? Well?

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Wait, does this story end with you getting molested in
the Apple store?

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yes, no it doesn't. He he he looks at me
and he's like, yeah, like, I'm here because my son
died in February and I have three devices of his
and I need to get into these devices because like
he died, and like, mind you, I was already having
a bad time because I had been there for two

(16:30):
and a half hours at this point, and then like
I'm literally losing my mind and I just want to
buy this. Fuck I don't have a phone the whole time.
It would be different if I could scroll on a phone,
but my phone was so broken I couldn't.

Speaker 4 (16:41):
Oh, I would have been I was just like the
little gay monkey and fucking the Apple store.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
I would have been at well, I didn't want to
lose my place in line.

Speaker 3 (16:47):
It's wait, was it like not a line like by
the tables? They just stressed it.

Speaker 1 (16:52):
Was in the corner. It was so chopped, which I.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
Would have started reading minds.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
That's what I was doing. That's literally what I was doing.
But this like since into like a schizophrenic episode. It
sent me into like a scary fucking vibe because all
I could think about was my dead brother and like
what it was like to go through his phone and
how it was like an invasive thing, but we had
to do it to get like evidence for like the

(17:17):
lawsuit and all this shit. So it was just like
it really really really like freaked me out, and like,
dare I say triggered? I was triggered. And he just
keeps going on and on about it, and he was like, yeah,
like he drowned. He was forty eight, he drowned, like
and it's kind of like my fault because I sent
him to my Florida home and like he was walking
around the reservoir at this house and he drowned, and

(17:39):
like we discovered his body like through and he went
into detail. He was like we discovered his bloated body
like three days later, and I was like, oh my god.
And then thank god, I was saved by the belt
by the Apple store employee and he like came and
grabbed him.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
It's, oh my god. He just honestly, he deserves a
free phone for that. That's literally like all for I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
He just needed someone to talk to. So I was
letting him talk to me, and I was genuinely like
upset for him. I was like, dude, that is really
fucking horrible, Like a sudden death girl I know better
than anyone, like is really really fucked up, and like,
I don't know. It just made me sad, but it
was freaking me the fuck out because he was like
doing what I had to do with Sam's phone. But anyways,

(18:20):
the story is not over yet, y'all. Bitch. I am like, oh,
I'm starring. I'm gonna go get kava because Kava's fucking delicious,
Like it's like literally the best food ever. I do
think they have like literal rats in the chicken Like
I'm not certain, but I think I read no, it's frogs.
They have frogs in the lettuce. Ohkava sponsored me though,
Like I really get down with y'all. Shit, I even

(18:42):
even the frog allegations has frog.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Did you guys see that? It's like thirty percent of
coffees from Starbucks have.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Just poop in it, like and they're roaches.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Roaches. Yeah, there's roaches and then there's just human people.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
Some people like that handle off and like at all,
Like you do make coffee all the time. Yeah, Like
I was only getting coffee out when I didn't have
a coffee machine and or I was too lazy to
use my like the mocha pot like cafeteta thing. But
somebody asked me yesterday on set and they were like,
what's your coffee shop?

Speaker 3 (19:15):
Ho, my kitchen? What a big ass thing of Cafe
Bustello And like you go, mm.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Period, Cafe Bostello.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Why are you drinking fucking watered down cockroach?

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Did you know? This is a fun fact though, So
if you like handle cockroaches a bunch. You can, No,
I'm not even joking, Like if you have like pet
and being serious, if you have like pet cockroaches and
like you have to feed them to your animals or whatever,
and you're constantly touching them, you can develop an allergy
to cockroaches. And some people who drink Starbucks coffee have

(19:49):
an allergic response to the like enzymes in the roach coffee.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
You know what's crazy, I'm allergic to cockroaches. I'm not
joking because I got an allergy like a comprehensive allergy test.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
You're always covered in hives recently, is because.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
I'm the same anecdotally, I also am allergic to cockroaches.
But I'm very clean, so it's not really an issue
with your daddy really clean.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
You are very clean free. And also the way you
burn the candle I got you reminds me of me.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
Because I didn't let it tunnel.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
You didn't let it tunnel. And also you just like,
don't burn it all the time.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
I don't. I only do it for special occasions.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
Like when I come over, Yeah, when you lay the
blue targe down, or.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Like when or like when Anya needs to a place and.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
He needs a BackRub or something.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
I was gonna say, oh, did you know that in
target where you know those racks of clothes where it's
like a circle, Yeah, in thirty percent of those there's
poop in the middle.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
Way Actually, like a kid like pulled down their pants
and ship.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Adult men.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
In them.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Straight adult man.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
Well I shouldn't then I'm a gay adult man. Oh
my god, I just had that.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
Just crazy. So you come out? Does it feel guys?

Speaker 1 (21:04):
I'm gay.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
Do you feel free? Do you feel lighter?

Speaker 1 (21:06):
I feel heavier.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
That's because you have to go to target and drop
some stuff.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Yeah, drop some dukie in the target.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
Guys, everyone go to target and ship.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Actually, though, we should all go to target and start
ship everywhere challenge.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Right after I voted for Zoron, I went to my
nearest target to a ship in the middle of the clothes.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
You I legally voted.

Speaker 4 (21:30):
You're not like New York fine, I mean, I guess, yeah,
whatever guys are doing.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
Prop fifty past in l A. I know Zoron got elected.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
I'm not kidding.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
I also the blue fucking Wave, y'all. We're back in
a big way.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
I know, I know, Like, do you guys feel it.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
I do know I.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
Have.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
That's why I put that as blue.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Did you see the video?

Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (21:56):
I put that as blue. Oh wow, and I were
because that's fair, because you're a republic.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
I can't believe, like dude, we really are getting to
a place where like they kind of let anybody pull up.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
I can't believe anybody has beef with.

Speaker 4 (22:09):
Him when Cuomo exists, Like dude, it's literally like the
schizophrenic hieroglyphics coming out of the ward, like the mouth
of like a human who's still alive, instead of having
to read it in like some weird journal.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
No, it's it's really shocking. But big things gonna big
things coming big.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
Did you see the video of them reacting like Zorn
and his wife reacting to Dick Cheney? Yeah the news?

Speaker 3 (22:37):
When when did that? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (22:46):
You have cancer?

Speaker 2 (22:47):
And that's you're looking away for a millisec from.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Real as fuck, real, real, real, real recognizes real as
fun and I'm real and I recognize him. You are
so and I'm real. Yeah, you're real too. We're real, right,
are we real?

Speaker 3 (23:07):
I can't say it?

Speaker 1 (23:10):
We're real? Right, but wait, let me let me just
god damn story. That's thirty five minutes. Can I keep going?

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Is this crazy? Because this is if anybody out there
who's been single.

Speaker 4 (23:20):
For a while ever is like, damn, I I really
miss a partner. What you're missing is the romance and
excitement of that endeavor.

Speaker 3 (23:31):
What you're not missing is.

Speaker 4 (23:33):
Uh hearing about their three day long venture into the
Apple economy, because like, really like, I'm and I'm gonna
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna say it.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
Well, this this deviates from Apple. This, this goes to
my phone provider, scary place. So I'm at Kava eating frogs,
and I should say I oh no, no, no god,
I'm getting Madigan. I'm getting Madigan. The line at Kava
was literally like the longest line I've ever waited in

(24:07):
and I've been to six Flags, Like it was literally
like another hour of my life to get Kava. I
still didn't have a working phone, mind you, because we
couldn't transfer it over in the store. So now I
have a brand new iPhone Air that's a piece of
fucking shit, fucking hate that phone, and then a broken
iPhone and I can feel everyone calling me being like

(24:28):
are you okay? Are you Okay, where are you It's
been four fucking hours. I wasn't okay. I was literally
tweaking out and then I get to the front and
I'm like, oh, I want Harissa Chicken and I want
steak in my other bowl. Bitch. They were out of
both of them, and they were like, oh, they're cutting
it right now. Do you want to wait? And I
was like, fine, I'll wait. Waited another fifteen minutes for steak,

(24:48):
and Harissa Chicken got my bowls. Literally like had an
actual panic attack on the escalator. Yeah, I'm big and
fucking greedy. I like the steak and I like the chicken,
and what about it?

Speaker 3 (24:57):
I know, I fuck with that. I actually did.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, I was. I was feasting on one and then
I was going out later and I feasted on the other.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
But drew really quick. You look really handsome today, like
you have the perfect amount of stubble and you're all tan.
Oh my god, you look.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Great, you well your skinless, incredible.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Thank you, thank you. That's someone said that to me
on set.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, your skins.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
I can't talk about I can't talk about it because
it's not out yet, but I can't talk about it.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
But something, something major, something major.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
I can't talk about it, and I literally don't even
want to. But like, it's pretty big and it's pretty exciting.
It's so sick that it's crazy. And you look really
good too, by the way.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
Oh, was it because her hair straight and you don't
like her curls?

Speaker 4 (25:39):
No?

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Girls, No, I didn't even notice. You just said that
her hair is a little wavy too. Okay, I shouldn't
have said I fucked up. Yeah, I made a mistake.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
It's supposed to be straight and her hair was waiting.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Okay, Okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (26:03):
So you're eating frogs at cava? Yeah, I waited for
your frogs.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, and then I'm having a full blown.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
Panic attack on the extra minutes for.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
The frog No. Literally, the frog meat was so delicious.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
I guess frog meat is edible?

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Like, is that it's actually good?

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Why is it that big of a deal that there's
fucking frogs in the kava?

Speaker 4 (26:19):
No?

Speaker 1 (26:20):
One, it's literally bullshit article. It's hit job articles from
big Chipotle. Pava is growing at an alarming rate.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Chipotle is sending out hit men to hit articles.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
I just looked it up. It says they put the
pussy part of the frog in the coo.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
Okay, good, that's why it tastes so good. Right they
put the pussy part of Kai in my ass?

Speaker 2 (26:41):
I don't know. I'm like, uh, Drew, do you want
the house tours later?

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Are you gonna take me to the first, second, or
third floor?

Speaker 2 (26:47):
I honestly just want you to come inside.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
So is this this isn't a metaphor.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
Obviously no, no, but I want you to fuck my ass?

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Is that third floor?

Speaker 2 (26:59):
Third floor? Anyway? What were you saying?

Speaker 4 (27:04):
I think that's technically the back door of the house,
by the way, would be. She has anti anal propaganda
in the song. She says, never take it to the
back door.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Oh yeah, it's anti anal.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
Whoa, that's homophobic.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
That is homophobic.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
No, I like kind of Sabrina, you're over.

Speaker 4 (27:21):
Just like people know, like you can't play up in
her butt.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
Don't touch my butt. I used to be don't touch
my playing in someone's butt, like, don't touch my butt?

Speaker 2 (27:34):
Is she pro side propaganda?

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Maybe?

Speaker 2 (27:38):
Why is no one talking about that?

Speaker 1 (27:40):
It is? It is really crazy?

Speaker 3 (27:42):
Understand what that is.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
It's so crazy how I experienced doing death in front
of it? Because Kai was talking.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Well, I was queen, I was cleaning out.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm on the escalator having a full blown panic attack
because I just spent four hours of my life to
get nowhere, except for spend a ship ton of money
on an iPhone that I can't fucking use. And then
I get to the parking.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Garage, like you have it logged in, you have it
connected to the mall.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
Nothing, not a fucking thing, not a thing. I get
to the escalator, have a panic attack, get into the
parking garage, literally immediately get lost. I could not remember
where I parked my stupid fucking car that I hope
explodes into a million piece. I fucking hate it. So
now I'm roaming around this exhaust filled dungeon, inhaling fucking

(28:26):
brake dust and like ruining my lungs even further than
my vape is, and I can't find my car. And
then eventually, and it would have been so easy had
I had a phone, because I can make my car
horn beep from my phone. But I don't have a
fucking phone to beat my fucking car horn. So I'm
literally just like lolly gagging around like trying to find
my car. And at this point, I'm literally crying, and

(28:47):
I'm like, this is so deep. I'm crying. I was crying.
I was so I was so over it through that day. Yeah,
I was so mad. I was so mad. Well, I
finally find my car. I get my car, and I
was like, on the way in, I was like, today
is gonna be awesome. I'm going to like get my
phone fixed. It's only going to be an hour of
my life. And I'm driving into the what is the

(29:10):
what is that mall? Century City? I'm driving into Century
City my field without having to pay for parking because
the parking machine was down. I get to the parking machine,
I don't have a ticket because they just let me
in without a ticket and they won't let me out.
So then I'm stuck there and I'm like I at

(29:31):
that point, I was like, I'm not paying for parking.
I'm not paying thirty dollars for a lost ticket. You
were not getting you are not getting that fucking money.
You are not getting my fucking money. Rick Caruso, Oh
my god. And I was like literally, I like started
talking to the parking intendant and I was trying so
hard not to be mean, and he just wasn't understanding

(29:51):
and I was. I was never mean, but I was
just like, Look, I came in here when the gate
was up, I didn't get a ticket. I'm not paying this.
Let me out. An Eventually, after more convincing and I
think he saw my face was wet, he let me out.
Then I get home and I tried to set up
my phone at the house and I can't do it.
So I just decided to live four days without an iPhone.

(30:13):
And those three days in between I was calling my
phone carrier trying to get them to swap the SIM
from my old phone to my new phone. But four
years ago I put blockagews on my account saying if
anybody calls trying to switch the SIM, do not let
them switch the SIM. They wouldn't do it. They literally

(30:35):
wouldn't do it, which I kudos power. But eventually I
got a hold of someone on Monday that did it
for me.

Speaker 4 (30:40):
So guys, if you want to figure this out, just
all you need to know is if you push hard enough.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
You'll get your way exactly exactly. And then on Monday,
I had my fully functioning iPhone air decided I fucking
hated it. And then on Tuesday I went and got
this ugly fucking piece of shit. Discussing as phone.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
You have to get the ugly one.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
Know the orange I love?

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Well, then what do you think is just the design?
The design is this is the ugliest thing Apple has made.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
Ever, I think ever ever. But the screen is awesome
and the cameras good.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
I am like, I think I am the purest woman
there is left.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
You are.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
I think I am like the last pure soul left.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
It's beautiful and that's my fuck.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
It's haunting.

Speaker 4 (31:27):
M m well, so I talk about how I gave
myself a fucking concussion. Oh my god, yes, yes, I
on Halloween went out with my friends.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
I had the best night ever. I was like.

Speaker 4 (31:39):
Tagging along with Rain and Paloma and Alex to a party.
I somebody in the last episode when I mentioned puking
from from drinking, somebody mentioned it was my ssri I
and like, I do know that I shouldn't be mixing
the two, but I have upped my dosage and I
do think. I was like, yeah, I get like, I

(32:02):
get drunk so fast and then I have to throw up,
Like I just have to throw up.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
You literally had like two drinks and you were blackout drunk,
like that was crazy.

Speaker 4 (32:12):
Yeah, but no, but this on Halloween, I didn't see
you guys. And on Halloween, I think I was drinking
because I also just have Like I've talked about this before,
I can't say no to anybody. If anybody offers me anything,
I will say yes to it. Thankfully, nobody offers me
anything crazy, and it's usually just like, do you want.

Speaker 3 (32:31):
To go get a shot?

Speaker 4 (32:32):
Or like I am the person who if somebody is
like wanting to get a drink, I will tag along
with them at the bar and then I'll just get
something because then I'm like, oh, I don't want them
to be alone.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
I just waited in this line too.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
Yeah, like fuck it, I might as well. So I
ended up getting really drunk and whatever. We go back
to Chateau and like we're at Paloma's room and I
was laying down and I immediately was like I have
to throw up.

Speaker 3 (32:57):
I literally have to throw up. I go into the
bathroom puke.

Speaker 4 (33:01):
It's fucking disgusting ill And then I'm standing there and
I'm like, fuck, dude, like I feel exactly the way
I felt last weekend. I don't think I'm gonna be
able to get in a car. I have to ask
plumb if I can crash here.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
And then I saw she had toothpaste.

Speaker 4 (33:15):
I was like, fuck, dude, I like need to like
at least put some of that in my mouth and
like wash my mouth out, Like have you ever done that?
It's like hot water and toothpaste. And then I was
like just swishing my mouth out.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
I'll brush my teeth with my finger too.

Speaker 4 (33:26):
Oh yeah, oh, I'll get all up in there. But
I was I did that, and then I go to like.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
And I use Paloma's toothbrush. I saw there and I
just used you know Paddington, Yeah, when he brushes his
ear canals with the toothbrush, and he did that. I
did that with my butthole. So I scrubbed the side.

Speaker 4 (33:49):
But I went on the edge of the tub and
I misscalculated churning butter.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
I miscalculated how low the edge of the tub.

Speaker 4 (34:00):
Was and I fully missed it and I fell back
into the shower with my full body weight and just
like knocked into the tile behind.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Me and was in the top. And I like it
actually shocked me because I felt so hard.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
I like still have like a knot, and I definitely
should get a seat scan, but I was looking into
getting a CT scan and I don't want to go
to like a fucking rheumologist or internalist because I don't
need some funky ass weirdo to be like there's actually
more to this, Like no, like I need somebody who's
just gonna look at my head.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, like I hate like the sound of hitting head
makes on like tile the ground or whatever like that.

Speaker 4 (34:40):
Dude Rain said it was like because everyone was in
the living room and she said they.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
Or like that was like a pure concrete wall, but.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
Like literally it was just like and they all came
in and I was just like I knew it. I
knew and I was just like so embarrassed.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
And they all were trying to get me to go
to an er or an urging care.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
And I was like, because not only were you drunk,
but you hit your head and you were about to
go to sleep soon.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
Yeah, because I was like very dangerous. Yeah, it was
a bad common. All of them were like please, and
I was like, guys, I swear to god, I feel fine.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
Like I stayed up for like twenty.

Speaker 4 (35:20):
Minutes and I was like, Okay, I need to go
to bed because I'm actually just sleepy and I knocked
out and think, by the grace of God, I woke.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Up fourteen hours later.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
No, no, no, see, I didn't wake up fourteen hours later originally,
Originally I woke up the next day around like eight
oh and like or like nine or ten, I woke up.
I knew I was out of the chateau with like
Paloma and Rain and Alex around like eleven, because we

(35:47):
went like I woke up. I think I woke up
still drunk. Also like I fully woke up and I felt.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Still drunk, or you just had a concussion and you
were dizzy from the concussion.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
I'm not kidding. I felt so like.

Speaker 4 (35:57):
Rain asked me to find this address at this restaurant
we go to, and I could not find it. And
I have eight different Google searches, and every time I
like tried to muster up the brain like power to
look it up, and I would just look it up,
get to the first wady be like and then just
put my phone down. And she kept asking me for
like an hour. But whatever we went, we go eat soup.

(36:18):
I feel like, okay, question mark, and then Rain.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
Like beef soup. It was like Latin beef soup. There's
like a word for it, but I can't think.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Menda what manula?

Speaker 4 (36:38):
Just tell somebody to go to the store and get
all the start to make briskt a manula. We'll rent
out to banquet hall and serve everybody. My god, damn.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
Sorry sorry insert it? No insert it?

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Actually I look good as sorry, well.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
I don't insert.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
It, but ill. Yeah. So then I get dropped off
at home around like dropped off three. I just feel so.

Speaker 4 (37:13):
Like what like I literally just felt so out of
it and I was doing my best to stay up,
and then I laid down at five minutes.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, that's like that'll make Kai cry laughing every time.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
It's continued.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Sorry, we'll stop.

Speaker 3 (37:35):
You guys are like in love with each other.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
We are. We actually are. It's like it's real, like
we literally are.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
That last one was so funny. I let out a
little bit of piss.

Speaker 4 (37:44):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Do you guys? You know what you guys know about
Ariana Grande? Right now? Do you know about arian eventI.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Wait, you know Franky Franky Grande?

Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Have you heard of frank E Vindy?

Speaker 2 (38:06):
I wrote that down.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
There was something else we wrote down that we.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
Were going that I shaved my whole body for the Yeah, guys,
that was a joke.

Speaker 3 (38:18):
It seemed like the kind of person who shaves your body, like.

Speaker 2 (38:20):
All the way I trimmed my body hair, stop trimming,
but not in a way that's not in a way
where it's like it looks trimmed. It's just like, not
super long.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Let it grow out. It'll be sexy for me.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
I feel like men should be hairless. Honestly, I do
believe that, right, can you?

Speaker 1 (38:39):
I actually think the exact opposite. If I see any
man without hair, I.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
Literally am yeah, no, me too, totally.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
But I do think girls should be hairless all over
except for eyebrows and hair.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Can you tell me what this means.

Speaker 5 (38:54):
You cannot convince me that there's a top shortage in
la Oh my god, there's a top shortage.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
There's no tops the.

Speaker 5 (39:02):
Okay, got it. But like every time I invite the
bottom over to hang out, we're hanging out and doing
the thing that one does, and all of a sudden,
I'm like, it feels like I'm churning butter. And I ask, Hey,
why does it feel like I'm churning butter? And they're like,
ha ha, oh, I got buttered like a few times
earlier today, And I'm like, did you not want to
tell me that? And they're like, oh, isn't it hot?

Speaker 4 (39:22):
No?

Speaker 5 (39:22):
I don't find it hot at all. I like to
know if you're coming over preglazed, and they're.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
All coming so what does that mean?

Speaker 1 (39:31):
So com he's saying that these bottoms are coming over
already full of colm because they got loaded up by
tops and that's previously, and they're preglazed, like whole preglazed,
but preglazed. And he's he's insinuating that how is there

(39:52):
top shortage if every bottom that I bang is full
of com?

Speaker 2 (39:56):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (39:58):
Insertion? Mmm, maybe it's like you know how women would like.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
And also, you didn't finish your story but finish.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
The style that was misogynistic of me. Continued.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
I'm used to that behavior from the both of them, right,
I am too, from the both of you.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Actually, Oh okay, you had to make it about you.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
Yeah, always.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
I don't remember where I was you hit your head?
Oh yeah, I like woke up the next day whatever
I ate.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
Alex was so fucking funny, dude. She was cracking me
up all day.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
And then I got home, and I knocked out at
five pm after eating a bunch of pretzels.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
And this is not it. This is literally not an exaggeration.
She ate a bag of pretzels and then fell asleep
at five pm, like on.

Speaker 4 (40:40):
The dot, knocked out at five pm, and I slept
until the next day at like seven forty five am,
like eight am.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
That's really scary.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
It's scary.

Speaker 4 (40:48):
And like I also was a yeah, I don't know
at what time my phone and everything was dead. In
the house was very still, so I thought, I think
it was and it was dark out, but I just
really had to peace, so I went and pe to
I went back to bed.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
The thing is is I was just told that you
hit your head, and I didn't even like have a
thought that you could just be like bleeding out up
in your room. Like it didn't cross my mind once.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
Yeah, I told well, I put on my story and
I made it very clear. I put on my close
friends and everything. I kind of made it clear that
like I because I do think I had like a
minor concussion that day.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
I felt insane. I felt so like out of it.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Also, the way like I was interacting with you the
morning after you slept for twenty eight hours. I was like, oh,
this bitch is concussed. She's like a little fun Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:35):
Well when I woke up that day, I like woke
up and I was like, fuck, I really need to
take a shower because I this is gross. I didn't
shower the day before because I literally.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
Was like, I was like I couldn't. I could not.

Speaker 4 (41:49):
Stand for very long. So then the next morning I
went to shower in my dumbss woke up and mind you,
I had to hit my babe in like forty eight
hours and I stood up and I hit it, but
it gave me like the craziest head rush that I
like went down to my feet and I was just like,
we should can.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Cut your more a second. Can someone hit me in
the head so I can feel of ape.

Speaker 3 (42:06):
Again now I'm not kidding like and it was awesome.
And then but then I got in the shower and
my hair was so tangled. I had to sit on
my stool.

Speaker 4 (42:15):
In the shower for like twenty minutes and try not
to fucking pass out.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
That is crazy.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
And then I went on with my life.

Speaker 4 (42:24):
And now every day I've been falling asleep at like
eleven and waking up at six ams.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
On such an amazing sleep schedule, and I am so
envious of it. I did. Also, I should mention that
the day you slept twenty eight hours, which was Saturday, Sday, Sunday,
Saturday and Sunday, I literally slept all day long, Like
I did the exact same thing. Like I woke up
at like eleven, and then I fell back asleep from

(42:52):
like ten to or two to four, and then I
woke back up and would fall asleep at like nine
pm and sleep all the way till eleven the next night.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Well, that's why you guys look so good. It because
you're getting all this beauty.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Rest exactly, thank you, Kay, that's why you look good.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
I only get seven and a half hours of sleep.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
That should be enough.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Well not for I'm going to list off.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
In his twenties early twenties.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
Two topics back to back, depression hates a moving target.
Interpret that how you will. I heard that, and I
was like, oh wow, that's like really, Well, that's why
it takes.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
Women at night.

Speaker 4 (43:31):
Then they won't be depressed because they're just like right,
they're on the go.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
They're so busy.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
Yeah, they're so busy and distracted from getting away from me.
And I usually wear like big, like oversized clothes so.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
You look like a man, so I look like a guy. Wow, yeah,
I'm gonna start doing that.

Speaker 4 (43:47):
And I wear Doc Martin so that the sound there's
like an ambience of just.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
Like right, I'm going to just do it, but scream
really loud you better run. And then the other thing
is I love LA. I went to the premiere. I
saw the first two episodes. Everyone's already seen the first episode.
The second episode is just as good as the first.

(44:13):
It pushes a story along in a very real way,
and I'm just so happy for all of them. I know,
I'm like, literally, they fucking did it.

Speaker 3 (44:21):
I wish I could go to go.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
To the premiere so I could have seen the first
and second episode, because after I finished the first episode,
I was like.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
Okay, next, Yeah, next episodic.

Speaker 3 (44:30):
But at least I kind of love having something to
look forward to, you know.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
It's television, bring it back, because like I feel like
everyone right now is like, okay, now, what's next. We
just got through summer, Like I feel like people need
something to do, and an episodic television show that Unites
US all is really important. But yeah, premiere was awesome.
I chickened out doing the red carpet, but the lady

(44:54):
was like, oh, you have carpet access, do you want
to do it? And I was like, absolutely not, absolutely no.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
My dream is to suck my way onto a red carpet.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
I didn't do it because I was like embarrassed, and
I wish I did it because I would have maybe
got to do my letter boxed.

Speaker 3 (45:12):
I would have hated that.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
I know I would that. The thing is is I
thought it was like if it if it was like
my top four, I would just open the app and
read my top four.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
But what would your top four off the top of
your head be?

Speaker 4 (45:23):
Go?

Speaker 1 (45:24):
Mind Game, Climax, Come and See is in there sometimes
but not currently. Perfect Blue is in there sometimes, but
that's two animated movies. So drop Perfect Blue, keep Mind Game,

(45:47):
keep Climax. I really really liked everything everywhere all as once,
Like I really I thought that was a very very
special movie. What's my last one? Sorry? I have to cheat.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
I have to check my top four.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Top He's looking at his phone. He can't.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
No, I'm not I'm looking at this picture.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
Oh my god, the Galaxy Vogue.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
Reminds me of you remember when you wear those pants?

Speaker 1 (46:12):
Oh yeah, no, what what? What is going on? I
feel like it's like a joke at this point, Like that's.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
The worst this is on purpose?

Speaker 1 (46:18):
Right, Yeah, I think it's a it's a bit, right,
I think it's fun. Oh here's my top four.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
I think it's fun.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
Climax, mind Game, am a lay and the Substance. And
that's something I was going to bring up earlier. Is
in the Substance, she hits her head a bunch, and
I think that's like one of the worst things to
watch on a movie. And I love it.

Speaker 4 (46:37):
The way she hit her head on that tile is
on ironically, how I hit my head.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
That's so crazy and you that is so.

Speaker 4 (46:43):
Insane, Like I have like, I mean, it's not as bad,
but I still can't lay on my head. I've been
sleeping on my stomach the past few days because I
can't lay on my head and like I can't, Like
if you see me laying, yeah, I'll give you some.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Can I have head please? Can I have bugo? Can
I have head bogle please?

Speaker 3 (47:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (47:08):
Can I.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
Have your cheesy bugle?

Speaker 3 (47:12):
My truffle, my Truffleezy Taco, my Casadia, Yes on a
hot day, you want.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
My cad or without chicken.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
No chicken, it's roast beef.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
God damn it, dude. Wait, what's your tough for.

Speaker 3 (47:34):
Worst person in the World's Fern Gully Florida Project? Yeah,
Boys Don't Cry?

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Yeah, okay, Okai.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Those are kind of just movies actually, Like I don't
know that I would say those are my top four,
but those are like if I if you put any
of those on right now, I would be set.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
And I'd watch.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
Yeah. Have you seen Amala? No you? That would that?
Unironically that movie changed my life. Like the way she
moves in that movie, I'm like, I want to be
this person. They're playing little fucking games but making people's
lives better and people don't know. That's literally me. I

(48:26):
move behind the scenes and no one knows how easy
I make everybody's life. I'm with you on that. And
you are like that, Kai, you're top four.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
You had so much time to think.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
It's really hard to think. I'm such a movie head
and I feel like I don't know. It's like a
really nuanced question and nuance.

Speaker 3 (48:46):
What are four movies? What is a movie.

Speaker 4 (48:49):
If I was with you, if we were all chilling
in the living room and like you had to put
on a movie.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
What movie are you putting on one?

Speaker 2 (48:56):
If we're all chilling in the.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Not a Joe b serious.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
I know, I'm trying so hard to be serious. M hmm.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
Don't win per like that. It's for me.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
I'm just I'm just thinking, dude, I'm really the pressure.
The medical thing really did mess up my phone. I'm sorry,
so you need to give me some time.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
What's the fucking Sean Baker movie? Sean on an iPhone? Tangerine? Yeah,
that's in my top.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
Five Hello Tangerine phone?

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Mm hmmm, uh fuck. I really liked Challengers, and people
always freak out when I say that that's one of
my favorite movies because they're like, well, they know it's
a good movie, but there's this thing that people really
don't want to say. They're afraid of saying that something
really contemporary is one of their favorite movies.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
I hate that. Ship Bitch Substances my one of my
favorite movies.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Yeah, and I think it's really brave to embrace contemporary.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
I'm like, dude, worst person in the world since I've
seen that movie. It is the to me, my top
movie ever. Like, to me, that is the best movie
I've ever what's that and it's it came out in
twenty twenty two.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
I think Pussy Purple Palace, Pink Pussy.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
Palace by Lily Allen. I love Lily Alan.

Speaker 4 (50:18):
Lily Allen to me right now as I approach twenty
seven is what Fiona Apple was to me when I
turned eighteen, like nineteen.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Like that is like wow, know that album is special?
And I was told they like statistic is like normally
when artists drop albums, it's skyrockets to the top and
then teeters off slowly daily, daily, daily, like streams are
up here and then they go down as a day's pass.
Lily Allen's started down here and every single day it's

(50:51):
gone up in streams. It started like four million day
one and now it's eight million streams a day.

Speaker 3 (50:57):
That's so awesome. I listened to the.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
I love that you can be forty years old and
then just do something and it completely like changes your life.
Like I love that, Like you can be thirty years
old and drop something and it changes your life. I
love that you can create something when you're forty and
it changes your life like it's not over.

Speaker 3 (51:14):
I know.

Speaker 4 (51:14):
There's something so sweet about like all the pockets of
like skyrocketing she's had. Also, Hayley Williams' new album is
really fucking good. I love it so much. I've been
listening to that a lot. And Eli dropped her.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Album Oh my God, literally such a perfect pop album.

Speaker 3 (51:35):
It's so good. I was listening to it today. Are
you okay?

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Yeah, I'm just trying to think of my other movies
because I have two more that I'm supposed to list.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
What's that for?

Speaker 3 (51:45):
Emily?

Speaker 1 (51:46):
Like like The Little Girl with the Momgan Janet Planet,
Janet Plant.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
Janet Planet is so good.

Speaker 4 (51:56):
Janet Planet, to me is good in a way that
I don't know if I would put it in the
top four because it's not a movie. When I first
saw it, I watched it three times in a week.
But then and the soundtrack is so good and it's
shot so well, and like everyone in it, Oh my god,
what's her name? Hillary Swank is No, that's not Hillary Swank,
the main woman in that movie. I Am in love

(52:18):
with her. She was also in Dream Dream Scenario, I
Am in Love with You I'm in love with this woman.
I don't know her name, but I'm literally in love
with her.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Wherever New Plays by Beverley Glenn Copeland is so good.
Where they're on Mushrooms, It's so fucking good. But yeah,
I do have two other movies. Doublewaar's product is Yeah,
and I feel like they need to make movies like
that again, so bad need to make that.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
They need to be making second one, and I will
stand by that.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
They need Nancy Myers to pop out and pop her
fucking pussy all over us, like she is literally a
goat director. I've said that like the last three episodes,
Like I genuinely think she should be in the goat
director conversations. But because she's a woman and the genre
of movies she creates, she doesn't get to be a
part of that conversation. But those movies without fail. Every

(53:09):
single Nancy Meyers film, I think the.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
Only one I've seen is It's Complicated, and that movie
was so I have left feeling so magical.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
Every time I watch those movies, I feel the entire
spectrum of emotion and I think that is incredible movie
magic types.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
My last one is forgetting Sarah Marshall. I think that's
like a perfectly written comedy you've never seen.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
That's, you know what, how American Summer might be in
my top four.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
I remember the first time I watched that. I like,
I don't remember laughing that hard, really watching a movie
in a while.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Oh, you're saying like you laughed at I laughed.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
At it when I remember my parents and my older
sister renting it from Blockbuster and I wanted to watch it.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
You're talking about the older the newer ones.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
I think I'm talking about the old one.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Oh, I'm talking about the new one, the Netflix one. One.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
That one's okay, thought it was really good. Yeah, it's
it's it's I just like the old one.

Speaker 4 (54:07):
All Yeah, I'm thinking of the old one because they
would get it on VHS, and then I think eventually
my parents bought it and it was in the house,
and there were times where I'd see and I'm like,
I'm gonna throw that shit on. But there was something
so about putting a tape on, like you could really
get like what like putting in a PHS tape. If
you stopped it and pulled it out, you'd yank everything out,
Like there's literally no way to secretly watch that.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Paul Rudd looked good in the original.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
He did, Yeah, no, he looks fine.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
Shit.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
I have two more topics I want to talk about.
I had the worst week of my life, apparently because
it's all bad, but the bed frame debacle. Guys. I
ordered my dream dream bed, which is the chrome a
kick Ikea bed from nineteen eighty one that is like
my dream bed, has been my dream bed for almost

(55:00):
a decade now. It is the perfect bed frame, but
they only make up to full sized beds in it.
And I was like, well, I'm not going back to
a full size bed. It would not look good in
my room. So I just wrote that dream away until
my next home. Well, I did some digging on Ali Baba,
mister Ali Baba, and I found one and I ordered

(55:21):
it two and a half months ago, and I was
so fucking excited for this bed. Well I get it
in the mail. Not only was I not warned that
it was coming in, they just dropped the biggest wooden
crate I've ever seen in my entire life.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
He scared the fuck out of me because I've been
waking up so early, so like I have my slow mornings,
like I.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
Wake up, I go have a coffee. I like like candles.
I walk around, I pick up a bit like chilling.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
And I'm upstairs painting and then I just hear our
scary fucking doorbell because we have a doorbell from literally
nineteen twenty three and it's so scary and it goes off.
So I run downstairs and it's a livery dude and
I opened the door and he just shoves the paper
in my face, shows me the address of our home
on the paper and he's like here and I was like, yeah,

(56:08):
that's here, and then he goes okay and turns around,
starts walking down the like sidewalk or whatever, and it's
like I'll come here, and then just turned around and
I just got scared.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Because I thought it was your bed.

Speaker 4 (56:17):
And I was like, it's like, I was so fucking
scared because he was just going into this truck.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
And I'm a crazy person.

Speaker 4 (56:25):
And if a stranger comes up to my door and
I don't know what it is, ironically thought he was.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
Gonna bring a palmited.

Speaker 4 (56:31):
Yeah, I thought he's gonna bring a knife inside and
start shaking me.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
Literally nightmare, but literally night mare about something that like
is a nightmare. I had like the most peaceful two
days of my life before, and then I was on
pace to have another peaceful Monday. I was like, oh
my god, like is this day. I'm like rolling around

(56:55):
in bed. It's like the sun is like shining a
little bit. It's like a little overcast, a beautiful day.
And then this fucking bed. Oh my god, this bed frame.
It is the heaviest thing I've ever touched in my life.
It is literally seven hundred pounds. Oh god. But that
night I was like, I'm gonna get you hook up
with Kai though, Oh, you're right.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
Yeah. I feel like that's why you were able to
make it on your own, because you handle Kai.

Speaker 1 (57:21):
Yeah, because I like lift them up.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
I literally wish, well, I don't weigh very much.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
So I wish Kai is literally so teeny tiny right now.
It's crazy.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
And I slipped in my bathtub too, but it was
kind of like a just like a feather against yeah exactly,
like I literally did that a couple of times before,
and then my head like barely touched it.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
I slipped and make.

Speaker 3 (57:45):
A nasty falling in the shower. And I would pay
money to see that.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
One time I was naked and I slipped and I
fell in the fucking you know the thing comes up
it when it went up three inches up my asshole.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
You know I have I have a showered kidding shower.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Do you have a shower douche?

Speaker 1 (58:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (58:04):
Oh my god. Yeah, I'm actually really jealous.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
It's an actual douche or it's an actual douche.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
D But if I had that, I would be like
douching my ass to an extent that would probably give
me issues because I'm the kind of person that if
I find out a new way to like really get
in and clean my body. I sometimes I get out
of my shower and my legs are burning from scrubbing them.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
That's so crazy. But yeah, one time I slipped walking
into my bathroom and I kicked the door shut, and
I was like, fuck, I'm gonna land, I'm gonna hit
the door, and I started falling and then I just
went and slipped, riding under the door because I'm as
thin as a piece of paper. And then I just
went and like landed on the other side.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Oh do you remember we were at the airport and
the TSA thought I was a listerine strip.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Oh my god, that hat. That was so alloying.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
And then you dead ass were like that's a person.
And then the security guard was like.

Speaker 1 (58:53):
What Yeah, they were literally shot.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
I was about to pop started pouring water on you disappeared.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
Which is honestly really crazy that he tried to make
you disappear. I wish I could do problematic. What the
fuck was I saying? Oh, bedframe, I move it piece
by piece in my bedroom. It is literally seven hundred pounds.
And you helped me with the two big ones. Thank you.
You saved my life. I would have I literally would
have died big ones.

Speaker 3 (59:21):
I helped you with the big ones because I'm so strong.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
Yeah, well I move. I destroy my fucking room because
I'm like, I'm building this bed frame tonight, getting rid
of these boxes. Tomorrow I go to build my bed frame.
They didn't send me all the pieces. It took two
and a half months, and I was like, what the
fuck am I supposed to do? My room is in shambles,
Like this is literally the worst thing that could ever
happen to me. Actually, well, I give up. I move

(59:49):
all the pieces out of my room. I put them
up against the window, and I'm like, whatever, it was
a waste of money. I gave up. Well, I moved
all my shit, all my furniture back into place, except
I did not put my bed back on the bed frame.
I'm a top Now bed is on the floor. Remember that. Well,
I get a notification this morning saying, oh, sorry, we

(01:00:13):
sent you the wrong instructions. You have all the right parts.
You're good to build it. And I built my bed
and it is fucking gorgeous. It is so perfect for
my room. I'm so excited. Thank you Ali Express for
putting me on. And you know what I decided, I'm
going to start a furniture business selling dupes.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
You're going to start a drop shipping company.

Speaker 4 (01:00:35):
Yeah. Well, I went to my first boxing slash personal
training today.

Speaker 3 (01:00:42):
I got called strong.

Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
How was it?

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
It was actually really fun and like really easy, and
I'm excited.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
I should keep on me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
You are strong. Wait did you hear what Kai said?

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
I know, and I said, I wish.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Where would you want her to hit you? Also, wait,
fucking face, we're not talking about what went down between.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
We already technically did media because we said no, he's
not talking about that music, and but we I.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Feel like we were like, should we even talk about
this on the podcast because it's like, oh my god,
Maybe we don't talk about it on the podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
Yeah, yeah, probably we won't talk Maybe we should though,
let's not talk about it. We'll talk about it next week.

Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
Yeah, we'll talk about it. We'll talk next week. We'll
have more clarity on the situation.

Speaker 4 (01:01:27):
Yeah, we already did the media music in the media
where Okay, Well, thank you guys so much for listening.
I can't wait to get super strong and scare everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
And it's going to be a beautiful thing. It's going
to be a beautiful thing because what women are what strong?
No should be hairless?

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
Hairless? Right? Hairless?

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
Can you shave my arm? Picture?

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
Yeah? I actually would love to shave you. I'm not
even kidding, like, not even a creepy way.

Speaker 3 (01:02:07):
Can you shave my legs?

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
I actually I would like, but I would have to
use a Phillips one blade because if I cut you
and peeled up like the first layer of your skin,
I would be It would be the worst thing ever,
because I don't like hurting women personally, right, that makes
sense to me.

Speaker 4 (01:02:21):
I just haven't had a stick for I have like
all of my Razor things replacements, but I lost the stick.
I don't know where it went, and so I just
happened because I just have the little heads and I'm
like here I go.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Okay, thank you for watching.

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
Bye three