Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom or should I
say welcome to a new episode of Emergency InCom?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Oh my fucking god.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
No, I like so many car troubles. We got hit
by a car, rolled the security campra footage. We got that.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Driver's okay, to clarify, everyone walked away. Okay. It was
really sad, But me and Drew stayed in Texas the
past week rebuilding the cafe. So the cafe is fine,
the guy who did it was fine.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
And you built the wall.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah, I famously built the wall in Texas. But Drew
is being such a brady bitch baby pissy pants because
he's the worst.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, Like, I don't know what transposed spirits. I upset.
I don't know who's toes.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I stepped talking about the bus.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
No, I really manifested this ship, y'all. Like I really,
I really manifested this ship. So let me just let
me just run you through it. I could talk about
this for the whole hour, but I won't. I'm just
gonna keep.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
It short and because I've heard enough and I just.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Ambree. But basically, I was driving home from the gym
and I was fully on FaceTime, like I own that
I was faceing and driving like phone up in the
fucking window, like everybody that drove pass could see Josiah
on FaceTime, like fully doing that ship. I own up
(01:53):
to it. Naughty, bad, don't do that. I know that
was bad. Got pulled over, got a ticket. I haven't
seen how much that ticket's gonna be yet, so we'll
figure that out on the spot.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I guess you're mad.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I'm lucky. Well, no, and no, it's crazy because I
left Josiah on FaceTime while he was talking to me,
and he walked up and he was like, you know,
I pulled you over and I was like yeah, and
he was like, yeah, you were on You're on FaceTime,
like corrected himself and then like oh, you're dumb as hell.
And then I was like so.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Fast and throw my fucking phone at the back wind shield.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I never I never, like, I've never been a sunglass guy,
but now I'm the sunglasses guy after the wedding, and
I wore I wore sunglasses the whole time. Like while
I was over. No, I was such a little ship
and I was like laughing and I was like not
taking it seriously at all. But I was just so like,
what the fuck ever? Well, then I go to a
(02:50):
friend's house and park my car out front in a
tow away zone at six a m. To six pm.
I wake up at five thirty. Yeah, I'm like, I like.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Literally can't imagine that right now unless I drew it out,
like I would need to see that.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Basically, I park it there. It's a toy zone because
the there's like a building being remodeled, and so they.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
For yourself, you were going to be able to move
your car before six am.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
No, I knew. I knew I wasn't going to do it,
but I won't.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Know the rat But you didn't. You didn't. You didn't.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I didn't anticipate what was coming. I parked my car there,
and I was like, you know, like if I get
a parking ticket, not that big of a deal, like
small price to pay, Like I just I need to
get out of this car. I've been driving off fucking day.
So I parked the car there. I wake up automatically
at five forty three in the morning. I don't have
an alarm set or nothing. I like look and I
(03:45):
look at my phone and I'm like, I can't, I can't,
I can't. I can't, so I go back to sleep.
Then I wake up and I get a notification on
my phone saying suspicious activity near your car.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Dude, you know what it is. God woke your ass up,
He woke your sinful ass.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, and you still denied like a little iPad baby.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
When God calls you deny, I hung up fast as fuck.
I said no, no, no, no no. So then I
like get a notification at like nine am. She pulls
up to my car and gives me a ticket. And
I was like, Okay, at least it's a ticket and
I'm not getting toed, Like, I'll just stay for a
little bit longer.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Do not tell me this story is a one, two,
three strikes. You're fucking out.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah. And then I did not know.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I did not know this.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I did not know this. No, I need to make
it abundantly clear. I am well aware that all of
this is my fault. Like I know that I had
every opportunity to make it. It actually was like my
I can't tell y'all after but it actually was. But
like I I cannot, like I did this to my off.
(05:00):
I even wrote a poem about it. I did spoken
word poem. Try last night. I was so I was.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Down such a bad mental spiral that you start keeping
fortune cookies.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I was crashing out so hard it was crazy. Actually
I'm not. It's embarrassing. It's about like everything being my fault.
And but I did use the uh uh the etchings
of my schedule on the universal clay, and I thought
that was very However.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
This is something that you wrote, Okay, that's I think
the scariest thing you've ever said.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
It was like the decay is mine. It's a mandle
brought fra fractal, infinitely repeating my pain across the universe.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I'm so confused.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
You know, I'm fucking crazy. I'all losing it. I'm literally
about to start crying.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I need to bring you back. Okay, around this time,
we went to a dinner and you walked away and
you were like, this person's fucking crazy. And the notes.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I have I showed the podcast that some schizophrenic motherfucker
like went into my notes app and like the craziest
ship I have ever seen in my entire life. But
I actually.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Think about a throw off. Okay, so you're fucking mans
in whatever the fuck that means.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Keep going, so I get another. I get a notification
saying like alert, very special, suspicious, spetitious.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Very spetitiousious, very spetitious.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Expectitious activity is going on. And I checked the live
cameras and this is what I see. And I see
five camera angles of my cars speeding down getting fucking
toad and I laughed. My knew jerk reaction was to
laugh because I was like a ticket, a parking ticket.
(07:09):
And oh wait, wait.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Ticket was this Sunday?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
This was yesterday, two days ago, two days Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I'm not kidding, Okay. I wanted to say this to you,
but I like, I could call my mom right now.
The proof I could call my mom. No, Sunday was
the thirtieth.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
They don't play about the first of the year. At
the end of the month they got to meet their quotas.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I mean, low ki, But I took my mom to
get a massage on her birthday for the first time,
to the now massage in win Wood.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And when where would where would werewolf? Oh? Fuck?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
One? Two three strikes. Bitch You never learn a bitch,
you never learned?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
No real And I'm not done.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Oh wait, okay, okay, But basically, I took my mom
to her first massage ever. I I promised we were
gonna be in a room together because I anticipated that
we would. We were not, and I felt really bad,
but I was like, honestly, this is good for her,
Like I do.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Believe she's a woman who should still.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Like feel like new experiences that are a bit uncomfortable
but good for her whatever, whatever, whatever. I walked myself
through that anxiety trip because I'm like laying down naked
and thinking, oh my god, I've just abandoned my mom
on her birthday and she thought we were gonna be
together or not. My mind drifts off. I'm like, oh
my god, awesome massage, needed this, And then I remember
that my dumb ass parked across the street. Miami is
(08:30):
infamous for towing. Like, if you think LA is bad, Miami, live,
breathe and die by Toe. I left the fucking car
in this parking lot and I didn't pay for parking.
So for a full fifteen minutes of my massage, I
was literally just like mortified that my car was getting towed,
(08:51):
and I was like, oh, my Mom's birthday, I'm literally
gonna ruin her birthday, and then it didn't happen. But
then you sent me that video and it made me
laugh hard as fuck, and I told Anthony and she
laughed really hard.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Okay, good, I'm glad there's like at least something good
coming out of this fucking traumatic. No, I'm glad you
did because I'm talking for.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Fifty in my eyes and my mind's eyes, I was
seeing your car being disrupted.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
No, you could sense it. You could sense it. It
was like the wrong. But no, the thing is I
have I you could go back onto this podcast. I
have literally begged for this, Like I'm not kidding. I've
like praying to the gods that be begged to get
my car Toad to turn into a cube. I've been
begging to be I wanted it to be cubed. Little
(09:33):
did I know that that is quite literally my reality.
Like it is. So, I watched the live stream of
my car getting Toad.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I watched it, watch it on live stream.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
You gave it a galery?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yeah, no, I donated galaxies. I actually before that, before
I tuned in, I sprinted to the spot. I was
sprinting me. I was running like fast as fuck. I
won't I will I won't run in an airport if
I'm missing a flight, but apparently I'll run to a
fucking toad truck. He was gone by the time I
got there, and I taste blood in my lungs. It
(10:07):
was crazy. The vapor is really getting to me. I
taste like blood in my mouth and like also like
vape juice from a vape I bought like four months ago,
like a flavored vape. I've been smoking mint recently.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
And it still tasting guava.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, I know, it was giving guaba. It's giving thing.
It's giving, it's giving things Thanksgiving. But blah blah, but
go back watch the live stream of my car getting
toad was laughing, was lolling. I was like, okay, like
(10:41):
this will be really expensive, but like, at least I
have this funny footage and I can talk about it
another podcast. So I like, wait, and I keep checking
the database and my car is not appearing in the database,
and I'm like, what is going on? So then I
just like drive my ass over there. I get to
the window and the clip I'm sure right, yes, like
(11:04):
nine registration. Oh really, yes, it's been for over six months?
Does that mean?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
So that means that you have to register your car
and get a release order from that office.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Otherwise it's.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Okay, thank you. They say that clip, I'm.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Like, I'm here.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
And also my dad. My dad was like, you need
to get your license fixed before you get clipped again.
And I was like, why are you saying that? Where
did you learn that?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Before you get slimmed down?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Before you get slimed down in Milwaukee, bitch, I got
swim slimmed out in Milwaukee. But I I pull up
and they say that my experts or my registration has
been expired for six months and I have a suspension
on my car. So I've been driving a suspended fucking
(11:57):
vehicle for god knows how long with no I just
put that fucking registration sticker on there. I just put
it on there, like two months ago, because I remember
vividly because I got made fun of for it.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
You got made fun of for why.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Because it was like three years expired or some shit like, Well, No,
I had. I had all of the stickers. I just
don't put them on my car because I'm scared they're
gonna get stolen off. So I had them.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
That's why you're supposed to crisscross into it with a
razor blade so nobody could peel it up. Yeah, but
oh my god, I guess yeah that makes sense. But this, no,
this makes more sense in Miami. But like, yeah, the
last time, I waited so long to get my registration
because I I as much as I'm making fun of you,
I'm so bad.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, let this be a cautionary tale. Get your life
in order, because y'all, this story only gets worse. Yeah,
it only gets worse.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
But last year, last like holidays, when I was in Miami,
I renewed the registration on the car that my parents
have now. And literally I had been waiting so long
to do that. Finally did it the very next day.
The Todd's got soulen so that it makes you think,
like at what.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Called universe shoved you? That's what happened to me. The
universe d so, oh my god, did you Oh my god?
She thought that was like a war crime, Like did
you see it?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
K bro, You're dumb, miss ship Like she literally.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
She was literally like like scared to say six seven
because she thought it was like a slur.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Okay, somebody made a good point that they were like,
oh maybe she they actually know because her whole thing
is like that boobs and.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Is bob like.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Her whole thing is that. But somebody was like, maybe
she thought he meant like six nine bitch.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Well no that's what I thought. But I was like, no,
I think she literally thinks like six seven is a slur.
I don't know, but that ship made me laugh so hard.
But drive my ass to the toe company. They don't
let me get my car. They're like, you have to
go here, here, and here and get your shit figured out.
Come back. So I woke up the next morning. Mind
(14:08):
you already one hundred dollars in ubers because I was
all the way across LA, so already up to one
hundred dollars. Remember parking ticket, parking ticket, citation toad all
in one day, all in one day. What did I do?
I literally, what did I parked your car?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Actually it's pretty simple.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
No, it's actually it's actually crazy.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Pretty simple. You didn't follow the fucking.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Literally last week I had a thought where I was like, wow,
I'm so lucky. I just like park illegally all the
time and nothing ever happens. And it all happened in
one day. Don't use your phone while you drive, but
like that call was very concerted. It was worth it.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I think parking tickets are bullshit, and I.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Think towing is the most sinister eating thing. Like the
fact that I had to pay four hundred and forty
two dollars, oh bitch.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
So choosing to put be somebody who chose cars is
like choosing to be TSA, to be Hitler.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
It's the same thing. It's the same fucking thing. Tow
truck drivers and nazis same thing. Barely any difference.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I've been I've been saying this.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah, So I woke up this morning and I was like,
I'm gonna have a big old fat day. I'm gonna
get all my shit done. I'm gonna do it. I'm
gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it with a smile.
I'm gonna get this fucking car back. And like, I
woke up in such a good mood and I was like,
this is all my fault, Like I have no one
to blame but myself, like period, Literally that was my mindset,
and I was like I just got to get it done,
like I can't even be upset, Like I just literally
(15:38):
have to get it done, Like it's a there's no
other way.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
There's no way over it. You just got it.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
My first line of action was to call the tow
truck company and be like, hey, how long does my
car have this sit? They said thirty days. I was like, cool,
no problem. But then I realized that none of the utilities, internet,
my bank statements, like no important documents like proving are
my residency in this house exists. They're either in your
(16:07):
name with my payment information, or my name on our
LISA agreement isn't my government name, it's just Drew, so
they won't accept that. And then my bank statement is
like the address on there is like my business manager's office,
So like literally I don't exist in this house. So
I was like kind of freaking out, and I was like, okay, wait,
(16:28):
I can just go Yeah. I was like, I can
just go to Spectrum dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
You can miss me off because I'm gonna get you
taken out of this how call the police. Call the police.
I say, he doesn't live here, They'll look it up.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
He doesn't. I don't live here. No squatters are I'm
selling all your ship.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I know.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
That's like literally I thought I had today. I was like,
I need to sell my ship. But I need to restart.
I'm not kidding. I was freaking up. No, I really
need to take a bath, and like imagine that the
water is like cleansing, like pulling the bad out of me,
the bad energy, the bad spirits.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
But except the bath is in my room and you're
gonna be like going through that and then I'm gonna
be like, do you mind if I pee? And then
coming there, and it's going to be like really like distorting.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, destabilizing. Where was I? Oh? So I started doing research.
I was like, oh, oh, not a problem. I'll just
change the address on my banking app and I'll change
the address on or the name on the spectrum to
my name white, my hands clean, good to go, I
can go get my because I have to get a
new idea. I've had a California or I've had a
(17:32):
Texas idea this entire time that I've lived here, and
I need to get a California ID to get my
fucking car back because they don't believe that I live here.
So I was like, okay, I need proof of residency, dude,
it is crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
You've had a Texas license this long?
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I f I know, And I got pulled over I
got pulled over like literally two days ago, and they
didn't say a word. They don't give a fuck, They
really don't care. But I start doing research and I
realize that once I changed my name on Spectrum and
change the address on my banking app I have to
(18:06):
wait a month to get the letterhead with my new
address and name. So by then, which would have been
the second of January, but by then, my car would
have been turned into a little baby cube because it
only holds it for thirty days.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
So I was like, what, they have sold it or
crushed it.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
They would have probably auctioned it, but I like saying
it like the visual of it getting turned into a
cube is way funny. Air My god, I'm wrapping this
shit up. So I go to the DMV. I miss
my first appointment, and then I get in line again.
I missed that one, and while I was waiting in
line for the third appointment, I got hit on in
(18:45):
a way that I have never experienced in my life.
I got flirted with in the craziest, craziest way, like literally,
like there was there was actual like it was a girl.
I should I should start with that it was a girl,
not gonna happen literally will literally Can.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I please explain this from my side? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm I just got home. I just bribe back from
Miami a A.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Where the screen? Kay, I need to hit my vape okay, okay,
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
What was I saying? Oh yeah, so I was upstairs.
I know Drew's going through all of this, because Drew,
at nine forty five am said, sent me literally a
wall of texts freaking the fuck out about his car.
And I was like, OMG, first of all, I just
woke up, but like I literally was just like, oh
my god, this sucks for you because I woke up
(19:41):
in such a good movie and I.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Look ugly today, And I was, no, you don't. You don't, Okay,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
You seriously, dude, you don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I've like been taking videos and pictures of myself. That's
how hot I think I am.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Right now, for a look at my thing as with You.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Looked really good in it too, like him just telling
you to die, that he wants.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
To die, kill myself, kill myself, kill myself.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
What are we looking at?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
This is me and you look real good.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Oh my god, you're fucking disgusting.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Also, it's kind of a cinematic shot.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
No, it's gorgeous. It was beautiful in there. But the
sounds they had construction sounds going on the whole time
in the d n V. It was horrible. So sorry,
go ahead.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
But I know he's going through all this because like
I've just been like getting calls for updates. Okay, he
calls me and he goes, I just got hit on,
and he's like, first of all, I just missed another appointment.
Second of all, I just got hit on in the
craziest way ever. It was so fucking crazy and me
and I was like, okay, what And then he was
like it was a girl. And I was like, oh
my god, that's so funny. Did you tell her you
(20:57):
were gay? And he was like no, I just no,
I didn't. I didn't tell her that.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
So this woman is out there walking around with a
phone number thinking it is True's phone number and that
Drew eats box.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Is that what you said to her?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, I said, I Box, Yeah, he said. So she
asked me for my phone number, and I was like,
let's like hang out, and I was like okay, and
I gave her my mom's and then I texted my
mom in her face and was like, hey, if you
get a number, don't say who is this? I said,
don't text bag. I'm a bad person. I know, I
know I should.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Why wouldn't you have just been like, girl, I sucked
dick like mad?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Oh no, I was. I was hinting at it because
I was like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Can I guess?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I was like yeah, because like, what are you supposed
to do? Be like I'm gay?
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I know, like what if she stabbed me in the
fucking throat? People are crazy?
Speaker 4 (21:51):
But I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I'm sorry to jump to like that. I shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I should thank you.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
But you gave her your mom's I was didn't.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
I was leaning out with her like I was like, oh, Kiki, but.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I'm about six.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Listen, it gets real suspicious. I didn't tell you there
of y'all this, so I never said anything about where
I'm from. I never once said a word about.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Where I explain while you were there, I.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Didn't say a word about where I was from. And
then she randomly goes like, oh, you're like from Texas,
like you said small town, right, And I was like, no,
I didn't say that, And then I rewind the whole conversation,
and I was like, you can do that. Yes, I
(22:44):
stopped time. I stopped time, and.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Yeah, all gay people can do that.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, it's actually really think crazy. That's what. Also, I
saw this article today about like why Avatar isn't a
cultural hit, and it's because like gay men can't be
weren't you over it? Basically it's like what are we
going to be attracted to? Like giant like Gove people
or whatever the fuck they're called.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
The people, they're called the Nave.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
The Novi. But my eyebrow raised. But I didn't really
think anything of it. But then I like go back
through the conversation and I was like, this was suspicious
this number.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
No.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I was like, this is a suspiciously good conversation. I
was like she was naming like every one of my
top artists, like she like knew everything, Like she asked
like small town in Texas. She was like it was
so weird. I was like, what the fuck? Like it's
like literally like weird like knowledge.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
And that's why you couldn't tell her you were gay.
She was low key the girl of her dream.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
You're like girls who gave them big boom listening to
radio heads.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Like, well, that's that's what she said. She was saying Radiohead,
and then we were like, I was like, girl that
listens to Radiohead? What this is crazy? Girls don't listen
to radio Head. They only listened because I say I
listened to radio exactly, and that's what she did. Basically,
I'm inferring that I think she might have been a
listener of the podcast, and I think she might have
known who I was at the very least.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
You think she might have been a listening to the podcast.
And that's why you couldn't say you were gay.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Well, no, that's why I couldn't give me hurt my number.
I didn't even like. It didn't even occur to me
that I could have stopped it by saying I was gay.
Actually it did, and I was just scared of hurting
her feelings. Yeah, I didn't like because she she came
up to me and she started the conversation. She initiated.
She was like, I like your shoes and she was
like are those on Asuka Tigers? And I was like yeah.
She's like how did you get them? And I was like,
oh I was early, I got more five years ago. No,
(24:43):
they're banned, Like you can't buy them if you're an American.
Now I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
You can't, like, wasn't they're a store right, Like they're.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Not an America anymore. You can't even buy them off
the Japanese website. They don't ship them here. I thought there,
Oh it might be back. They might have brought it back,
but I know they were banned, or not banned, but
stop selling to Americans a while.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
But they were banned because of the.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I was first. I don't give a fuck, I'll claim it.
I was first. I was Actually my dad was first.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I just posted a picture of him on my story
and he's wearing some of the ones. Were they?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yeah? These are I think basics too. The wrestler she was,
kill Bill was first.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Not Joe Lee. Bray was first.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Not Yo.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Okay, so you got your fucking car on.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Nails, Okay, yeah? Yeah, after you.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Let a woman on, Oh my god, as if you
couldn't ask for more reasons for God to strike you down,
you lead a woman on.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
I know it was, I know it was. I know
that was bad.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
I'm kidding. I literally don't give a book.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
But I go back in my number is called like
five you oh, also, no mind, I won't say that.
The way she was looking at me when she walked away,
I was like, oh, she might really think this could
be a thing. Like she like turned over her shoulder
and like walked into her car, her dad's car, and
then like looked out the window at me as she
(26:03):
was driving away, and she was like, good luck. But anyways,
I get my number is called like five minutes later,
and I didn't miss it. But I think it was
divine intervention.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
What do you get?
Speaker 1 (26:13):
I think it was a universe. I missed it so
many times.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Because you were hitting on yeah, because I was getting
you were in there.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
I was there imagining a world where she was like that,
just catee to make it to my DMB on talk.
You are such a little bitch, Like no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
The first one, the first one, I was late by
thirty seconds. I'm not kidding. I watched my number go away.
I watched the number poof off the screen the second
I was fully there. I was fully there.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
But oh my gosh, you were amazing. You were seriously
fucking amazing.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
But I think it was divine intervene that I.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Think CAD's unwritten, like you literally you just like it's all.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
My fault, Like it's literally just my fault. I can't.
I cannot express that enough. If I would have just
handled twenty percent of this shit a year ago, when
I was starting to handle it, like none of this
would have happened. But now we get parking passes for
the street because my car is registered.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
To the house.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
So the universe, yeah, the universe shoves. But I get
to the DMV teller and she was she started off
men as fuck. I would be mean as fuck too,
like dealing with people calling you an asshole all day,
like I would literally like it would take everything I
mean not to hit someone. But started off mean, and
(28:02):
then I watched her like kind of get into this
like weird little like back and forth with one of
her coworkers, and she said something in Spanish like and
I could tell I knew what she was saying, but
I didn't know what she was saying. And then like
she like whips her head around and like rolls her
eyes and then it's like starts typing on her computer
really hard, and I'm just laughing, and she's like, oh no,
can you speak Spanish? And I was like no. She's like,
(28:23):
can you read lips? And I was like yeah, and
she was like, oh no, I'm in trouble then and
I was like I'm not a snitch. And then we
laughed together, and then she became the nicest woman I
have ever interacted with at a bureaucratic agency ever in
my fucking life. She was so fucking cool and she
completely flipped my day. She like made everything okay. She
(28:45):
was like, Okay, what you're gonna do is you're gonna
go to this kiosk right there, You're gonna put all
your information and oh wait, you have to like change
your dress. Let me change you address real quick. Oh
my gosh, you have a suspension because you And she
was just like flow state, like helping me, and I
was like I needed this. I needed this though bad.
And so she gets like all of my like registration
shit figured out. But like I wasn't supposed to be
(29:07):
able to get my registration today, like I fully wasn't,
and I was able to because of this woman. But
I like leave and I go home and drop your
car off and then I get into a car. It's
an hour and seven fucking minutes to the toe place,
and the entire time I'm like fucking buzzin'. I'm like, Yesna,
(29:29):
I'm gonna get my fucking car. Yes, well I get there.
They're so fucking mean to me. You didn't go get
the slip, you didn't do this. And I was like,
oh no, but I got the registration like that, like
she yesterday told me I could just get the registration
and come. She was like, no, she didn't. And then
this one, the girl that told me I could do that,
just like turned away. I'm not kidding any of the
(29:49):
girl that told me, like she just like like, you know,
like sus dog like dog like looking at camera, like
that's the energy she had because she knows she fucking
told me that. Shit. So then they gave me a
fucking paper and circle this fucking location like right next
door to thirteen oh four. I literally was right next door.
It was crazy. It was crazy. It was very a
jarring orgy orgy house.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah, orgy house, Oh my god, what a dark dark.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
The bubbles in the windows, yikes.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Damn. Also, like looking back, having a window that showed
airplanes next to the buildings was so bad. We literally would
like to get out happening. We're not kidding that, like.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
Every every day, all day everything, and we would we
would run to the windows and we would be.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Like, oh my god, we have to get to the
roof to watch the building fall, like we really believed
in that ship. Damn it, my leg is showing again.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
What's wrong with that? Are you fucking monastery or whatever
the fuck it's called monaster? What's the kind of Christian
in the dresses monastery Montesino? Like fucking mones monset.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Oh that's yeast, that's a pussy man.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Oh my gosh, wow, that shit burns, itching and burning,
itching and burning, itching and burning.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Oh my god, I cannot believe it. But anyways, I
go there, They're like, you have to go to this
other place. To go to this other place, I go
get the fucking documents. By now, y'all, I have spent
fourteen hundred dollars, no, thirteen, thirteen hundred dollars to get
this fucking car back because I had to pay two
parking tickets for four parking tickets, two that were gotten,
two that were gotten out front of our house, and
(31:36):
then two that I got for registration and parking in
a spot I wasn't supposed to be four parking tickets.
Then I had to pay for the renewal of my
whatever it's called, nine hundred and thirty six dollars, my
registrition renewal. And then I get to the tow place
and I'm finally ready to get my car back, they're
like four hundred and forty two more dollars. I almost
(31:57):
spent two grand and I haven't even fucking paid for
the fucking parking ticket. I could have bought like a
dildo that legs eggs of my ass, like the jelly
eggs that melt.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You could have started a business because you could have
bought like a mold kit and everything.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Yes, made your own, yes, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
You would have made you actually would have made money back.
That would have been an investment.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I actually like, I hate this car. It is so demonic.
I want it dead. I want the battery.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Here you go, not learning a single going right back
to it, right back to it. No, oh my god.
You know what, this really put me in this perspective
where although this isn't my dream car and I don't
necessarily align with it, and it gives me an odd vibe,
this is my car and I should I should be
happy I have a car. No back to wanting it
to be a cube hoe. It was literally in Queu
(32:45):
to Cube town today cube like.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
It was literally in Q two Cube Q two it was.
It was in Q two Cube in Q two two.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
That was about to be your fucking horrific machines.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I really would have like if they were like, Okay,
your card is getting cubed, I was like, can the
very least can I pay you one hundred dollars to
watch it happen? The bitch is dead. It's the fucking
wicked witch of.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Oh my god, that would actually be so fun.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
But long story long. I got my car back and
I drove it back and I didn't learn a lesson
because I did text on the way home. I texted
Kay and Ninya saying I was going to be there
at for thirty e t A. That's not bad for
thirty e t A. That's what's your e t A?
Tell me what y'all E t A? P paya new
(33:39):
genes e t A. I think genes.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Yeah. Well, I had an awesome day. I had an
easy flying clean.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Ship off the couch. Azuls mash shitting talk about Azul.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
A lot of people would be like, oh my god,
she's such a negative soul. I say, I had a
good day and I was steam cleaning ship out of.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Me.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
And Drew have had like an uncomfortable couch for five years, or.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
The worst couch whatever. We even visually ugly.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
No, yes, no, I liked that couch. Visually, id yah,
I like this.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Like this is stunning.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
Well this this is a piece of architecture.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Yeah, this is like wow, like wow, look at what
we've been able to come up to. That was like,
this is what we can have.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
So the amount of chocolate almonds go on.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
I love that fucking couch. I don't give a fuck.
But it was really uncomfortable, so nobody liked to hang
out in the living room. And finally I was like,
you know what, fuck it, I'm going to be an
adult and buy a nice couch for the house. Like
it's gonna it's gonna be so worth it. I splurge.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
I literally the day.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
This happened, I was just showing my dad pictures of
the couch and I was like, yeah, this is the couch.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
I got to the house and it bought it all
by herself, too.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
That's what I'm telling It was an adult purchase. It
felt very big, like I'm gonna have to have this
couch for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
But hard no that it's covered in ship.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
But I'm Josiah is nice enough to come and check
on a zool and he like calls me and it's
all fine. We're like laughing on the phone. I'm in
the living room with my mom and sisters and like
he's saying hi to all of them whatever, funny funny.
He hangs up, he goes to leave the house, and
then he calls me back and it's not I don't
(35:38):
see Josiah's gorgeous blonde hair and smiling face. I see
my couch covered and not one, not two, but three.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Four, four, four piles of shit, four piles of shiitis.
If you think about.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
It, this is my karma for putting that fuck ass
sign outside and being so aggressive and taking my angers
out even though that anger was rightfully put into me.
I don't have to like let it out like that,
and that that was literally that was my karma for that,
(36:15):
and he shit all over the fucking couch and Josiah,
I love Joseiah, Lily ironically need to give him a
banger gift for Christmas because he picked up all.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
The ship, all four piles, all four.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Piles of shit, and I just had to sit there
and watch. Also, I didn't tell you this, but my
dad from the other room. I don't know if you
remember when I walked off camera because my dad called me.
It literally he called me to be like, tell him
to kick that fucking cat out of that house.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Oh literally, he literally told me to get rid of that.
That's exactly the energy I was on. I was like
and like, I wasn't supposed to get home the next day,
but I got home the next day. I walk in
and I'm like, damn, Like Josiah cleaned it up, but
it still smells really shitty in here. The first thing
I see when I walk into my house is a
fifth pile of shit. He left another pile of shit
(37:01):
for four five days, of shit, just like on the couch,
all on the same cushion, that motherfucker. And it took
everything in me not to leave the front door open
and be like, oh sorry, like I wasn't even home,
Like it must've like the wind must have blew it
open or something, and let him out. I literally, Oh
my god, and then just said.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
That he was gonna FaceTime me with the door wide
open and be like, oh, I fucking got you left
the door open.
Speaker 6 (37:27):
You left the door open when you left for Miamil's
gone to everything's in the house.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
No one stole anything, but a zuel is gone. How
did this happen?
Speaker 2 (37:39):
I'm not kidding, but yeah, today I was steam cleaning
the couch and that machine cost me two hundred dollars.
So on top of my expensive couch, imagine how I
feel my couch is in the fucking house.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Yeah, that shit.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
It's not susceptible to strangers, Like, wowa, what do you
mean like my couch, like your car has to be
out in the world. Oh, there's like strangers all around it.
Like that's kind of like getting your car towed is
like a thing you accept. And you have a car,
like I guess if you have a couch and a pet,
you kind of just have to accept that your pet
(38:14):
is gonna ship every your couch like a litter box
because your pet is a piece of shit brat and
doesn't like being left alone for more than two days.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
It's crazy. And then I got home after he shit everywhere,
and like I was hissing at him. I'm not gonna lie.
I was literally hissing at him. I was like, get
the fuck away. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Well, when he ship, Josie went and found him under
my bed and I yelled at him for like ten
minutes straight, and I hissed at him.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
I was hissing at him through FaceTime because I was
on the FaceTime called too.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, Papa was there too. It's a reprimandacable on the
phone now. And then today he's like being so nice
and I literally, oh my god, Wow.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
I think a kid think thinks he wants, he thinks
he won. He thinks shitting five times on the couch
is what brought us home. That's how it was, that's
how so he's like he's getting rewarded with being home.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Bitch, I'm gonna I'm not kidding. I was fantasizing because
this all happened on the Sunday before Cyber Monday, and
I really fantasized about going to Chewy dot com and
seeing if they had a kennel like a cage, and
I was fantasizing about locking a school in the basement
for like an hour when I got back.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
But like he's still like, I still let him sleep
with me and I pet him like I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yeah, I mean, I'm not kidding. If you look at
my camera role, the only thing I've taken a picture
of since I've gotten back is a soul.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Oh because also your jacket.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
Oh my gosh, guys, I.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Forgot to wear the other thing. I'll tell you after
we'll wear you next episode.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Yeah. That literally it's not This is literally such a
miracle that I own this. I went back to Miami
and I thought I was I think I've said it
on the podcast multiple times. I was really convinced when
we got evicted this was like something I had sent
to Honduras because my family always like sends big boxes
of shit. And I.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Sorry, I got flirted with by a girl today and
that's all I can think about.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I'm right fucking here.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I'm saying, like, no, I don't pick me, choose me.
I really thought this was in the closet of a
random Honduran child's uh home. And when I was back
in Miami, my parents are going through our storage unit.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
What's Miami?
Speaker 2 (40:56):
You said it so real too. My parents had been
going through our storage unit and my dad had sent
me this picture and I'll insert it and it just
said like sweater something and a calculator, and I was like, okay, cool.
There is nothing more obnoxious and annoying than a cryptic
fifteen year old going through a traumatic event, because can
(41:17):
you just be clear what's on the box? But I
had taped that shit the fuck up because I always
have talked to you about like me having that box.
I had a box that I like that I had
filled up with a bunch of mementos and stuff when
we got evicted, and I didn't want to bring it
(41:38):
into the new house, so I wrapped it up in
fucking sweaters and shit and then wrapped it up because
I didn't want anyone to look through it. Anyways. I
found my one direction varsity jacket from twenty thirty action.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
When you pulled it out, I literally, you know, I
wish I.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Saved it because he literally started crying. It is so freaky.
I mean, for some reason, it's crazy. It made my
parents cry, but it's because I used to wear this
every single day.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
You look like the pictures from twenty.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Like third No. Twenty twelve to like twenty fourteen. I
wore this every single day. It was the most expensive
thing I had ever owned it probably period. I mean, shit, no,
But you know what's fucked up is we are living
in a really scary time. I pulled this out of
(42:35):
that box, and first of all, the first thing I
thought was what amazing quality this is. It's eighty percent cotton,
which to me, I was like, whoa, that's crazy. Dumb.
Shit is bad now? Fuck fuck? But yeah, I found
my old jacket and I found so many things, and dude,
oh my god, I wish i'd brought that box back.
(42:58):
I had left it at home because I just didn't
have enough space to carry a bunch of shit. I'm
going back to Miami for Christmas anyway, so like, I'll
figure it out then. But I had so much shit
in there, and it was making me so happy.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
I'm done.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Was it sorry, there's a lot of stuff in your box?
Was it? Wait? Was it a big box or was
it like a smaller box?
Speaker 2 (43:37):
For anybody who's not like a visual listener, what you're
witnessing is how fucking funny it is to two white
guys to interrupt a woman and make her uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Wow, I'm crying. I mean I'm crying because women's periods
like make me so sad.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
If you don't take that stupid fucking car top off.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Your fucking freak out, I'll take it off. If you
let me wear your E card again, the red one
on Sunday.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Too big defense. No, I already did, and you stretched
it out, and you stretched it out he stretched it out.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
No.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I washed it in hot water and hang dried it
in the sun. Wow, you need to take that sticker off,
because every time I look at you, it looks like
like I feel like you've been to a hospital eighteen
times this week or something.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
I want people to be sad for me. I was
thinking about it. I was like, I want people to
pity me. Why is that such a bad thing? Like
I want people to feel bad for me?
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Is that? Like?
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Am I?
Speaker 2 (44:50):
What's in your adulthood is a sign of not getting
it enough as a child, So it would what it
sounds like is the truth, and I relate to it. Queen, Yes,
but I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
If we should, Like I want more?
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Can I expand on that song?
Speaker 1 (45:09):
Expand it?
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Can I spread you on that time?
Speaker 1 (45:10):
I expand and spread me? Spread all over it. Oh
my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Time. Also, this is the first time me and Drew
are doing an episode right when we get back from
a trip, because we haven't even actually had a proper catch.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
We haven't got the hang out.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
I got really really fucked up on my mom's.
Speaker 4 (45:29):
Birthday, grew up every two days.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
I threw up for like two days, and I slept
all Monday like I had like a fool, like I.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Could cute Monday Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Wait, nobody does, see, that's where we lost it when
people stopped kepting track of stopped keeping track of themselves
every month with that one thing.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yeah, the song one though, the one what was it?
It was like.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
January February.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
The Internet was so pure at one point, That's what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
That's when we lost Jock. Once it became like, oh,
everyone's so cringey or what or this or that? Like
it really is. It always comes.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Back January January right.
Speaker 4 (46:29):
Now, so you have.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
I remember to start it now. No, we need to
go back to that. That was a simpler time. Also,
the argument of like the oh my god, what did
I see somebody did like a really grat needlework print
of the blue and black dress. It was like a
pixel print. We need to go back to those kind
(46:53):
of Yeah, that needs to be the discussion.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
There was a video where the guy was wearing the
exact air forces in it, and not a single comment
on that video was like blue or black. Oh wait,
not it's not his ad dress. But there's air forces
where it's.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Like you just had because not his a dress.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Wait, you know the air forces where they're like pink
and gray or blue and yellow or whatever.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Yes, not that he was just talking to me about.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Yeah. Yeah, there was a video of the guy and
a guy.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
They're pink and white.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Yeah, they're pink and white, but this guy was wearing
them and you literally couldn't tell, like if they were
pink and white or yellow.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Why did you say not his address?
Speaker 1 (47:35):
No? Not not not the dress.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
I thought he said not. Trust Literally, I was like.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Slipping, Well, no, I am, I am. I know that
I started watching Fierce Competition. That like gay a hockey show.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Okay, I thought heard this. He just meant that in general,
I've been watching Fierce Competition. You're like renaming watching basketball.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
I used to I literally up until two days ago,
I did not give a fuck about man ass. I
did not care about what an ass looked like. I
it did not cross my mind at all. I'm more
of like a chest and belly guy.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Okay, so yeah, where is this going?
Speaker 1 (48:22):
After watching Fierce Competition, I am here to say, I'm
an ask guy what the fu is that? I'm anna
ask guy feerce and oh and then I I.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
What is this? Because I don't think like fierce competitor
Fierce Competition, Like, I'm so confused. Hello, is it called
something else?
Speaker 3 (48:58):
Dude? It doesn't exist the show to.
Speaker 7 (49:01):
Heated rivalries, talk to the hands yours competitions.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
That's a crazy freedom slip. Also because like you just
thought of yours competitions, it's to show about gay guys.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
But the asses, the hockey butts in that is it's
crazy and it's like full on like gay sex, like
two dudes like banging each other and it's hot as fuck.
It's literally hot. Neither of them are my cup of
tea personally, but.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
It's hot.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
And gay guys needed this. Yeah needed that, gay guy,
not I didn't need this.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
You didn't say I needed this. You started it with
saying gay guys needed this.
Speaker 1 (49:56):
Or that, Dimple simple, dimple poppit squizh.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
I don't know if I'll be watching that because it
is your.
Speaker 1 (50:04):
Worst nightmare, not because it's gay guys, but because it's
just men banging.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Yeah, that's why I'm like, I don't think I want
to watch only men having a good time on I'm
down to watch gay guys, but like I need like
a few girls in there too.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
There's girls, okay, period, there's girl arcs, but like the
show like like this is going to ruffle some feathers,
but like it sucks, but like it is so fun
to watch, and it is, it is. It sucks, but
it's good. It's weird.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Well, it's kind of like that whole argument against oh
my god, oh my god, I can't think of the word,
and this isn't the word I'm meaning to say, but
it's the one I'm finding at this moment. Subpar white
people get to really succeed while being super subpar, and
then anybody who falls out of being like a white
(50:52):
straight person has to do the most. I'm like, yeah,
like gay guys have corny shows. Riverdale exists.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
No, that's that's literally it. It's like not to compare it, but.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
It's also I haven't seen this ship.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
It's also literally just like Challengers, except just two gay
guys they actually like hook up, but.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
It's like Challengers but it's just guys.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
Yeah, but no, I mean like the soundtrack and like
the way it's shot and everything it.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Is it like shot nice, like yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
Yeah, it's like visually it's really pretty like actually, like
there was a few times where I was like, whoa,
this is like really cool, but it's just like but
you're just sex. Like it's literally just sex. It's like
a lot. It's literally all just gay sex.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
I mean most new media is just sex. Not to
sound like an old but like it is most media
for a lot of time, it's just been sex now
down and there's no like I don't even I'm not
even anti sex, but it has to be like swag
full sex. I want some sex that aspires me. It
doesn't inspire, it inspires, okay, period. Off.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
There is some ship in there where it was like
you're selling.
Speaker 2 (51:59):
It, Like it's like is it like damn I might
have to pee like watching this yes, oh.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Period, And it's also like damn, I'm gonna have to
try that out. Like and it's like it's like damn
like way like two verse dudes, like this is awesome.
Oh wait really but like I'm not gonna.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
Spoil okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
But it's also like a slow Burn love show.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Which hey guys turned straight by the end.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Yes, okay, okay, good. Yeah. No. My piece on it
is like it sucks, but gay guys needed a slow
burn romance, Like it's really cute. It is cute, and
it is relatable. Like there's like a lot of parts
where it's like, oh, I've literally been here and this
is fucking traumatic, but in a good way. You feel seen.
(52:46):
So go go watch Heated Rivalries. If you haven't yet,
go watch Fierce Competition. Yes, Fierce Competition.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
Watching the first episode of Fierce Competitions tonight, I can't.
Speaker 1 (52:56):
Think I even wrote Fierce Competition down.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
How did you remember what it was really called?
Speaker 1 (53:01):
Because I you kept saying it over and over again
and I was like, that's literally not what it's called.
Speaker 2 (53:10):
Oh my gosh. Well, I don't think i've watched anything.
Speaker 1 (53:12):
I saw this really funny tweet about it where it
was like gay guys watched fear Heated Rivalries and immediately
went to the gym and started working on ass. Mind you,
I hadn't seen that tweet yet, but that's the first
fucking thing I did, was went and did leg day
hip thrust RDLS. Like I went fucking hard. My ass
(53:33):
is still sore from working nowt No, I really, like
I really want a BBL, Like I'm not even kidding.
Would you actually get a be No? No, hell no.
Speaker 2 (53:42):
But if there was a world where you could get one,
nobody would know and it'd be like supernatural. Yes, absolutely, Okay,
so you would get a BBL. Yeah, But like I said,
an answering no to the BBL, you should say yes,
I would get a b b Actually.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
There's a different station. There's different stipulations, like there's like
a healing period. But if no one would know, no
one would know I was healing, because that's when most
people find out.
Speaker 2 (54:06):
But personally, I just don't even think if nobody knew,
I would never get it mmmmm. And it really has
less to do with anything other than the fact that
my OCD has really convinced me that I have bad
luck with anything cosmatology wise, because when I was eighteen,
(54:27):
I got the most fuck ass extensions I've ever gotten
in my life.
Speaker 1 (54:31):
Another satisfied customer insert that literally what I look like.
Speaker 2 (54:37):
I have to find it because I have smiled.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
I want to go as that for Halloween next year.
Drew syop. Imagine you're getting kidnapped and you have a
stuffy nose and they tape your mouth. You're dad bitch.
That's all I got. But I do have Drew's stand up.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
Oh no, yeah, yeah, you're in a weird mental space. No.
Speaker 1 (55:02):
I did it at five a m. In the airport
before I boarded my plane home. I haven't read them since.
Speaker 2 (55:07):
Okay, so you were on a good one. This was
before your life fell apart.
Speaker 1 (55:12):
No, these are bad. I can't even I can't.
Speaker 3 (55:14):
Even do it.
Speaker 1 (55:14):
I can't do them. I really can't even do it.
Can I do it?
Speaker 2 (55:25):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (55:27):
I might actually have to run out?
Speaker 2 (55:29):
What me? Okay? Is it clocking to you? Why would
Justin Bieber be a clock?
Speaker 3 (55:39):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Tsa pre check more like t s a pre come
because you get to come to the kick faster.
Speaker 1 (55:57):
That's good. That was really that was good. Wait, let
me read that.
Speaker 2 (56:02):
That was on the back of a lappy daffy.
Speaker 1 (56:04):
Let me read that like, oh, my god, if.
Speaker 2 (56:08):
Mister I would never give a good idea to that
fucking monster.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
I was judge, oh when I was on that impromptu
tap out front of the d M B dm V.
It was a d m V day. It was really cute.
You also try it sometime. I was saying, how I
think Pedro Pascal and mister b share the same evil.
There's there's an evil brewing you both that I don't
agree with that.
Speaker 3 (56:32):
I don't get the same vibe from Bedroom Bscal's watch guys.
Speaker 1 (56:38):
Maybe not now, maybe not in five years.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
And maybe not ever.
Speaker 1 (56:42):
Road trips are so funny? Why would I want to
do LSD and Haley Babar skincare routine at the same
time like road beauty trip?
Speaker 2 (56:59):
Wait you say again, because I don't really think I understand.
Speaker 1 (57:02):
Road trips are so funny? Why would I want to
do LSD in Haley Peeper's skincare brand routine at the
same time like road Beauty road trip?
Speaker 2 (57:14):
You know I get it after the second read? Are
you still here?
Speaker 1 (57:19):
I can't even do these, dude, They're like really bad.
I like they're bad. Chanel number five more like Channel five?
What does that mean? Channel five more? Like Chanel five.
That one's just not it's literally not even funny, like
mont Blanc pins are so expensive. Hope they write the checks.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
That one's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (57:50):
Okay, this one's like actually really dark. I'm not reading it.
That's that's it true? Stand up.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
Wow, that was the MOMT block was good. I wish
you said that with more confidence, would have landed pre
com was good. You would have landed that pre com
was really good.
Speaker 1 (58:14):
TSA pre check more like TSA pre come because you
get to come to the gate faster.
Speaker 2 (58:19):
There you go, there you can go.
Speaker 1 (58:22):
Wait you did not? You didn't think is it clocking
to you? I would justin blocks my favorite? You don't
think that's funny? It is funny?
Speaker 2 (58:30):
Good? What does it mean though?
Speaker 1 (58:31):
Like I don't know what made you.
Speaker 2 (58:34):
Start that, because like something had to have triggered your
thought to make you know.
Speaker 1 (58:38):
When I get into like Drew stand up flow stage
like it flows out of me, Like when I get
to writing, like it comes out of me on like
anything you've ever seen before. It's actually special.
Speaker 2 (58:48):
In mind you the two instances in this episode we've
had of your writing have been complete psychobabble of a
person going down like someone.
Speaker 3 (58:58):
Someone will think the Mandel brought fractal of pain is
really good and I feel.
Speaker 2 (59:03):
That are you saying, what did you say.
Speaker 3 (59:06):
Fractal mandel brought fact fractal?
Speaker 2 (59:09):
Yeah, y'all can't say it. That's just not real.
Speaker 1 (59:12):
It is. It is. It's infinite.
Speaker 2 (59:14):
Neither of you can repeat it more than once.
Speaker 1 (59:17):
And it sounds brought factor.
Speaker 3 (59:19):
Mandel brought fractal. I it.
Speaker 1 (59:23):
Sounds like you have a like a speech impediment when
you say it fractal. You know what I'm saying, fractal.
Speaker 2 (59:29):
Yeah, doesn't sound like a speech impediment when it came
out of my mouth.
Speaker 1 (59:33):
No, No, it does. Someone knows what I'm saying, fractal.
I hear it like blindel fractal.
Speaker 2 (59:44):
I mean, let me not be the person pointing out
not being able to pronounce it because I'm so bad
at pronouncing shit out loud. It's actually awesome. I was
reading to my siblings and I just had such an
awesome moment of being like, Wow, I really would be
a good PA because anytime I couldn't read a word
out of the book because I was reading, did I
(01:00:04):
say what I was reading? I was reading that book?
How to how to stand up to a dictator, which
is insane that my siblings let me read that to them.
And there were a lot of words in that book
I had never said out loud, and I would be
reading to them and not know something and look it
up with them and look up the definition. And I
(01:00:25):
never made a fuss about not being able to pronounce things.
And I didn't make fun of myself or anything, because
I didn't want them to think that at any age,
you should be embarrassed. I'm not being able to pay.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
That's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Actually, I think I might be the best person on
the planet. Yes, And I am not kidding, and I
am not kidding. I think that.
Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
And I if everyone was like any of the world
would be.
Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
A it would be a place.
Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
It would like, it would be a place, my fucking.
Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
God, damn, it would.
Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
Be a place the world was like it would be awesome. Yeah,
we would be like literally.
Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
One of us, who are you picking the world?
Speaker 1 (01:01:07):
His boyfriend, So it's like he's gonna.
Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
But you're his boyfriend of like what seven years?
Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
Boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
I would never call him that.
Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
Oh my god, you guys literally technically never claimed me.
But let me think about this. Okay, I think the
world best world. I think it's because it's perfect. The
boy of the screen say yes, sir, yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
Oh wow, we're good. Wicked for Good was so good.
I loved Wicked for Good because I knew you. Because
I knew you, I have.
Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
Adam Marvel turned upside down, Wicked Witch, We said Marvel,
Madam Marvel.
Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
I actually, I'm not kidding. I don't know anyone's name
in the movie. Madam Wicked Witch and Glinda Glinda Glinda.
Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Madam Marvel, Wicked Witch.
Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Madam Marvel turned around Wicked.
Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
We are like unky, like this is three weeks ago.
Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
Now, it's amazing. Are you kidding me? She and listen,
she look at how many fucking clips of her doing that?
You think that happened over the span of one week.
She's been working on this and been tracing this out
for a time. It's finally coming totition. Yeah, and I
saw to it always.
Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
Come to really frutitious. But I saw this like sketch,
this girl that I wish I could like give her
credit because it was so funny. But it was like
the first person that like said Madam Marvel, Wicked Witch
to her Michelle yo, and then Michelle ends up killing her. Said,
what did you say? I know, it's just like a
funny thing I thought of, Madam Marble thrown it outside.
(01:03:06):
Now Wicked, which what did you say? And then she
pulls out a gun and kills her and takes it
and goes under breast to it.
Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Dude, I love Wicked. I love Wicked. I love Wicked.
Makes me so happy. The second movie made me really sad.
I think a lot of the commentary on not only
the movie and the people in it is a whole
budget of hooplaw. And you're dancing around the point of
(01:03:37):
the movie, which is builds fucking community. Baby, Like, literally
that movie is the thing. I think that movie is
literally Bible Bible.
Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
I went down Bible. I went down the Judy Garland
rabbit hole, which is shocking as a twenty seven year
old gay man that I'm just now going down this
rabbit hole. She is so fucked in fears like she
is cint like definition of Kurt Underdog story. Like the
(01:04:08):
way they treated her on that goddamn set is horrifying.
Her mom got her addicted to fucking pills at the
age of like nine or some shit like that, which
is eventually what she died from is the same fucking
pill her mom got her addicted to. It' isn't that dark?
But like throughout her whole career she was just like
she was kind of like Britney.
Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
Spears, that's mama. It's actually so shocked up. Like, how
many of these iconic faces we've seen our whole life
have the scariest.
Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Upbringing well tortured souls.
Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
Yeah, tortured souls, but the best entertainers are around. Wow,
who would have thought, all right, that is really sad.
I don't actually know that much about her.
Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Y'all should look into her because she is really cool.
Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
I know a bit more about Liza, but all of
my knowledge about Liza is because she was She's always
really fucked with the Muppets.
Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
Yeah, oh, you're autistic.
Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
I love the Muppets.
Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
I know. Did you get anything? What do you mean
from the sample cell?
Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
No, yeah, it was like when I looked, it was
like forty eight dollars.
Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
I watched the chairs vanish, like literally, like I think
there was a seventieth anniversary for the Jim Henson Company, like,
and they had chairs from the muppets from Space movie,
and I wanted them.
Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
So all of the dark crystal shit. I looked when
I was in the airport and it was like twenty
thousand dollars and I was like, oh, I'll never be
able to afford this. And then I looked again and
it was like ninety two thousand dollars and I was like, oh, okay,
like really what, like what And it's like piece of shit,
little fucking like dog water, Like it's literally bullshit.
Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
I'm kidding me, like, piece of shit.
Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
I don't want that ship. Yeah, I have fun with
that piece of ship. I never wanted that in the
first place.
Speaker 2 (01:06:16):
But yeah, I didn't get a single thing from the auction.
And I literally just watched. I think my sister was
with me. No, Rain was with me, So my sister
was with me. Me and Rain were together, and I
was telling her about it, and then I pulled it
up and she literally watched the bid for the chairs
jump up immediately to five thousand, and she just goes.
(01:06:38):
She just like mad that sound at me, and I
just locked my screen, kept eating. Then I kept getting
texts about all the other things I wanted, and yeah, whatever,
it's fine. I don't need any of that stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
Christmas is around the corner.
Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
Christmas time, is he.
Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
Okay, Christmas is around the corner.
Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
I know, I'm excited. I love getting gifts.
Speaker 2 (01:07:01):
You love getting gifts?
Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
Yeah, I love getting gifts.
Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
That's that's honestly the really ship anyone's ever said, I
actually hate getting gifts on ironically, I think it's evil.
Speaker 3 (01:07:11):
Kaih Sorry, I kicked something with my foot that's very cold,
and I was mentioning before that to get me. You're
it's very drafty in this house and my feet tend
to get cold, and so maybe some slippers would be nice,
and I would like to. I would like to be
surprised by what type of slippers they are I want,
(01:07:34):
And what would be really surprising is if they're expensive.
Speaker 1 (01:07:38):
Okay, Okay, So if you.
Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
Worked, say, uh, I don't know, like a soop or something,
would you ever go in there and go to your
managers and just start talking about how you really want
a pair of slippers or like.
Speaker 3 (01:07:53):
I would, Yeah, because it's important.
Speaker 1 (01:07:59):
Wait is it gift?
Speaker 3 (01:08:03):
What cardboard? Is it?
Speaker 1 (01:08:05):
Giving fierce rivalries or the rivalries I did.
Speaker 7 (01:08:12):
Rivalry?
Speaker 3 (01:08:13):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:08:14):
I need to I literally can't do this anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:08:18):
My media of the week is, oh my god, I
found this.
Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
Mine is that Okay Lou album.
Speaker 2 (01:08:23):
Minus Summersoft by Stevie Wonder, Can't Live Without You, Charlie Wilson,
reach out for me, Bert Bocca Rock and the World
is Yours, Air Jojo.
Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
And my media is I met a new friend. He's
a cole from The Wallows and I met him last
week and he's really cool and funny. So that's my media.
It's dming with him.
Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
So when I was on my date, I was talking
about how the d D M V date, when I
was talking about how like election cycle, bad media be produced,
but three years after election cycle, good media produced.
Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
Well, okay, I think you're both incredibly Yeah, thank you
guys so much for listening, Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 1 (01:09:39):
M hmmm