Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here he is here, he is. I was just washing
my hands and I started singing Season two, Season two?
Who you know what? You know what that song is? No?
Who are you on? Have you season two? Jesus Christ Superstar?
Come on? Donald? Oh, I'm not up on that one.
(00:21):
You're not up on Jesus Christ Superstar. No. My brother
even performed it in high school. He played Jesus in
it too, and Nope. John Legend's version was amazing. I
don't know if they did a whole live thing. I saw.
I didn't see it the thing, but I saw a
little part of this one person singing the song, and
(00:41):
he was singing so passionately. He was a bald guy,
very big gentleman, and he was singing so passionately. Uh yeah,
I think he was playing Judas. Was he playing? Yes?
I forgot the name of that actor. Yes, too, Well
you looked up for me. He's amazing. I think he
won the Emmy for it because it was a broadcast thing,
but it was really good. It was I mean, if
(01:02):
you like musicals and you haven't watched that listeners, I
encourage you to check it out because it was Fuego
was um um Mary dude? She's amazing too. I love
her song A love song Brandon Victor Dixon. This man
is such a good actor and such a good singer.
(01:23):
Holy shit. Yes, Sarah Barrellis uh can do no wrong
by me. Let me tell you. I do like her music,
and I like the story. I do like the story
behind that song too. I'm not gonna ride to a
love song. I like the story behind that too. Where
the label read a love song right and she was
she She's like, I don't want to write love song.
(01:44):
So she wrote that song and it became her biggest
song ever. But but she wrote this the musical Waitress,
which is just incredible and uh and man, she's just
so talented. I love her music. I love her music.
Did you ever see the movie Waitress? Yeah? I loved it. Yeah,
Carrie Russell, Carrie Russell and m Yeah. You know that
song I Choose You by Sarborellis. No, really, it's a
(02:09):
really good song. I don't know that one. I'm not
going to sing it for you. I don't know season two. Yeah,
but check this out, dude. A lot of things happen
in between season one and season two. So many things happened.
Speaking of musicals. Do you remember the season two musical
we had to do for the NBC Upfronts was yes, Yes,
(02:30):
so tell everyone that story. We were a big hit,
by the way, I just read, by the way that
season two I read this on Scrubs wiki was our
biggest rating season? Was this after we followed Friends? Though
I don't know, but maybe yes. Scrubs originally aired season
two between September two thousand and two and April two
(02:50):
thousand and three on NBC at averaged fifteen point nine
four million viewers per episode. That's insane. Now, for those
of you who don't know, nobody'd been number we'd be
number one on television, right, bigger than Fall now. But
neither one of us would have got canceled if we
got those numbers, I know, sixteen million people. You just
(03:11):
don't get ratings like that anymore. And that was our
So this was our most watched season, right, well, great,
great start to the season too. The episode is amazing anyway,
so yeah, go ahead tell them. So we find out
that we're getting picked up and we have to go
to Upfronts again, and all I can remember is, dude,
last year's Upfronts was so amazing. We'd already spent the
(03:31):
summer together, so I don't even I don't even think
we I guess we had started shooting. I don't know,
but I remember being like, holy cow, upfronts again, this
is gonna be the best night, so much fun. We
were exciting and uh and they said, hey, good news.
Um they're gonna do a sort of a musical number
and you guys are going to be the star of it.
(03:52):
And and it was. It ended up being humiliating, right,
it was the song you you didn't you did not
like it at all, but the song was you know,
the song was from back in a day, just to
remind people, just to remind people, this is like a basically,
it's a it's a it's a convention where where they're
gonna sell the show to advertisers. And we're like the
(04:15):
convention entertainment And they've taken the song ain't no stopping
Us Now and put lyrics about selling the show to
advertisers in right. No, they no, they put it into
they put they made the lyrics about how we were
coming back for season two. So instead of it ain't
no stopping is now, We're wrong to move they became
(04:39):
ain't us Now We've been renewed. Yeah, yeah, And then
then remember this one, scrub ain't gonna get scrubbed. We
got see the two. Yeah, someone wrote the genius lyrics
scrubs ain't gonna get scrubbed. We've been renewed. No, we
(05:01):
got seven two? Okay? And then do you remember any
more the lyrics? That's all I remember, But I remember
we all had a verse and something. Some of it
was like Scott Sassa wasn't no fast, something like Scott Sassa,
who was the who was the president or something at
the time. He's like Scott Sasa is so sassy or
something like that, something like that, something crazy. But it
was like a Vega It was like a fucking Vegas number.
(05:22):
It was humiliating. We came out on we came out
on gurneys. They pushed us out on gurneys and there
were dancers all around us. It was like it was
like a like a convention Vegas number, and we had
dance moves and everything. We had to rehearse a lot.
And remember we did it in front of Megan Uh,
Megan Malali and h jay Leno Jay Leno showed up
(05:42):
in the middle of I think they had yeah, And
then I remember in rehearsal we had to It was
so humiliating. We had to like we were like bumping
butts like on the side, like there was like and
I remember I had to bump Chining seas um butt
and I want I bumped him too hard ones and
he got really mad at me that I that I
hit I hit his butt too hard. Maybe Johnny got
a bad hip and never told us no. I think
(06:04):
I just was. I think that there was supposed to
be a gentle hip bump, and I just I went
too hard. And I remember Johnny giving me a look like,
bump my hip like that again. I'll fucking kill you. You
You took it too hard. Bangunna, we've been dude. I
wonder if I'm sure there is I'm sure there is
(06:25):
video of that. I'm sure if you look it up
some well, now you know what, somebody somewhere has that
on video. And I remember when I was a kid
and I would do stuff like that. I would try
to get that video so I could put it on
my reel. When I was auditioning for things like YO.
I was also in the NBC upfront. You know what
(06:46):
I mean? Did you ever do that? Did you ever
have a reel before? Yeah? Worse. Back in the day,
you had to have a reel and when I suppose
actors do these days as well. But now I guess
with the Internet, everyone one you can just you can
look on YouTube or Vimeo for people's reels. But at
the time, we had to, like you assemble on videotape.
(07:07):
You're a reel of your work, and you'd have to
like literally record it from the television. Could you know
what I mean? At least at least at least a
video camera on the TV. Well no, no, no, if
you had a r you have to literally tape it
off the television and then edit it together. I remember
doing all this. You could never get your ship from like,
(07:27):
no one was going to send it to you. Yeah,
the studio wouldn't send it to you for you. So
our ring tone is live. Finally, everybody, you can finally
get the song live. There's been a little controversy with
the missing mmmmm. Come on. Dan has sent them the
updated version, but a lot of people have said, where
we updated it. Dan just sent me a text that's
(07:50):
saying he sent the updated Are you allowed to update
ring tones? Dan? Dan? Why are you talking? Why? I'm sorry,
it's not even the this time. I just had it up. Yeah,
you can update the ring tone if you want to.
Um and I you know, we'll see if they added
as another option, whether it's like a second option versus no.
But that version has been seven all. I just want
(08:10):
everyone to know because there was a lot of beautiful
requests for our theme song to be a ring tone.
It took a while for some reason, but we made
it happen. It's on Android, uh an Apple, and you
can get it by going to our Instagram links. I hope,
I hope Donald you put it up. I did put
the bio. Just click on the bio, or you can
look at our my Twitter I put it up there,
(08:32):
or of course you can just google Fake Doctor's Real
Friends theme song ring tone. But we're very excited. But yeah,
so I saw in the comments a lot of people
were like, why don't mmmm, And I was like, fucking Dan,
you didn't put them mm on. And then because he
is the one who sent them the fucking file, what
(08:52):
do you think, Oh, Joel, you did. It's totally me. Yeah,
I don't want to be mad at Joel. I want
to fund at me mad a Dan right here, it's
way more fun. I liked you well too much. I
want about it, Dan, listen. So then I was like
(09:12):
reading all the comments today. First of all, I couldn't
get the link right, and everyone's like, the link doesn't work,
and I was like filings an asshole. Finally I get
it right and people are like, where the fuck is
the mmmm and I'm like, fucking Daniel, Dan, I'm glad
you didn't put them because now there's two versions out there.
There's the original version and then there's the remix. That's
how you, that's how you. Oh, it's a remix. We
(09:33):
should have dropped it later, like the remix. But well,
then I saw people The comments were so funny. People
were like, can we get them separate because I want
that to be like my text alert. Oh wow yo, Yeah,
you're gonna have to send them another one, yeah, send
them another one another, one another, one another. We keep dropping,
(09:57):
we keep dropping ring tones another Zach another one another one. Yeah.
That's how we go. That's how we drop our ring tones.
Now there's now there's Bill saying five six, seven eight,
another one, another one. We're gonna do it. That's it,
it's done. Another one. Now you can buy the best
we the best ring tones were the best ring tones.
(10:21):
M M yeah, dude. Do you remember the summer because
I remember the summer very well. Yeah, after we wrapped, Wait,
before we move on, shouldn't we sing it? Shouldn't you
sing us in your season two? Oh? My bad, Bob?
Six seven eights? Well that wasn't very enthusiastic. This is
the beginning of season two. Bro, you know something mine,
(10:42):
pretend you to just get off your angry peloton. Guy,
you know something? Man? Seven eight? Stories about sure? We
made about nurses? Stories should Yeah, everybody's ears are like
(11:12):
this right now. Don't you're drinking a beer? Huh? Just
a little beer at one? Listen, man, you drinking dent
You drinking some quarantine doing a little day drinking quarantine style. Well,
we're all back in the house, aren't we. Oh man,
we're so fucked in La here we go. We're so fucked.
It's worse we go. It's worse we go. We need
to live in a bubble. Remember that John Travolta thing
(11:34):
where he lived in a bubble. Yeah, man, we need
that around our houses. Yeah, we're back in. We're so fucked.
It's worse than ever. Yeah, you know, and and and
everybody was very out. I was very optimistic about reopening
and everything. We're the fucking masks. Man, Do you think
it's the masks? I think we just reopened too fast.
(11:55):
You know, Dan, you're so knowledgeable about this ship. Here's
the thing, though, you shit on them and you've made
them feel like shit, and now you're going to them
for the information. I love him, but when everyone says
there's no m I was like, this fucking guy, and
now I know it's Joel and I can't be managed
you while I love her too much. So I'm just lost.
I don't know what to do with myself now. Then
(12:20):
is it a mask no one's wearing? It's both. I mean, look,
this is this is a systemic problem. We are in
the middle of dealing with systemic issues in huge, huge quantities,
and unfortunately it's all collapsing at once. Our economy is
such that, like back in two thousand and eight when
the housing crisis happened, we changed rules so that we
(12:42):
couldn't make that mistake anymore. But banks are just finding
other ways to pick up debt from other things, and
instead of mortgages, this time it's businesses. And they're like,
surely this won't go bad, because a ship ton of
businesses won't go out of business all at once. And
now here we are, so the economy is crashing at
the exact same time this COVID thing is happening. So
people are like, we need to reopen the economy so
(13:04):
that we don't go into absolute critical red mode. And
by doing that, we had an incredible spike in cases
because people were like, we need to ope economy, we
need to get bars, we need to get blah blah
blah blah blah open, and people were so hungry just
to like get back out there again with no masks
and none of the proper equipment and no proper social distancing.
And so we are paying the price, I mean, we're
paying the price for so many years of not paying
(13:25):
attention to what super rich people have been doing to
this country, and unfortunately it's all unfolding once. That's truly unfortunate.
Well said, you're well said, and it's very upsetting. But
we're here to cheer people up, so we should change
the subject right, Donald, Absolutely, do you want to five
six seven eight it again? No, but I kind of
want to just do a quick I just kind of
want to sadly say it five six seven eight Okay,
(13:54):
Oh my gosh. Anyway, this summer between season one and
season two, Donald and I live together. We've told you
this before, but we lived together in a loft in Soho, Manhattan. Yes,
where are our neighbor was? Our neighbor Tan Amy Tan?
And she really didn't like all the ruckis we were making,
which I understand. You live in a very expensive loft
(14:15):
and two fucking yoyo heads rent above you. Anyway, we
were fun as hell, right, we were good times. In
New York. Donald was making a movie called What Doll.
I was making Uptown Girls? Uptown Girl. What was the
story of Uptown Girls? For those that down girls? Of
course most people will know, but those who don't know.
It was a story of a young entitled girl who
(14:41):
lost all of her money and had to become a
nanny to make ends meet Brittany Murphy, right, Marley Shelton,
Dakota Fanning. Myself had a locklear nas. This is the
first time I got to me's nas. Quite a you
other people and did you enjoy directed by Boas Yakim.
(15:03):
I totally enjoyed making the movie. At this point, I
got braces right inside of my mouth, and I got
them right before I started shooting this movie. So this
was your first movie with a lisp. I don't have
a lisp. But the crazy thing is I don't have
And we'll get to the episode soon. But even in
this episode this, I have the braces on in this
(15:24):
episode and I've noticed it, but I'm not sure everybody
else could notice it. Well, I remember you coming to
set and it sounded like you you had you had
a lisp, And I remember Bill being like, what the
fuck are you doing with Did you notice it in
the show? I didn't. You did not notice? Didn't show?
This is the We could go right to Bill right now, Bill,
did you make me come back in and redo? Did
(15:47):
I have to a d R the first episode of
the season because or the first few episodes of the season,
because of the braces that I had put on the
inside of my mouth. After season one of Scrubs, after
the summer of Scrubs, I remember here because Donald came
back excited because his teeth, I mean his teeth did
(16:08):
look great. They still look great, but he was like,
so the cool thing. You can't even see the breakers
And because he had like big honk embraces that were
behind his teeth so they wouldn't show on camera, but
it made him sound like Sylvester the cartoon cat. And
there was definitely some loop in there. But hey, the
(16:28):
results are great, Faison, I love him, I love you guys. Well,
thank you, Bill. I don't remember, but I do remember
that I remember laughing at you, being like, what the
hell are you thinking? Because they were on the inside
of your teeth and you seem to have changed. You
were like, you seem to have a speak a speech
impediment all of a sudden. Well, yeah, well, what were
you in New York for? I was doing a production
(16:51):
of twelfth Night in at the Delacorte Theater. What's twelfth
Night about? I'm not going to summarize Twelfth Night every
but um um, but if you ever get a chance
when the world's back open, dear listeners, you want to
go to the Delacourt Theater in Central Park in the summer.
It's a beautiful open air amphitheater where they do free
(17:12):
Shakespeare and um, you can google how to do it.
You get in line early in the morning and you
sort of have a picnic and you and you can
hang out with your friends and and if you're in
line early enough, you get these free tickets. And they
have great actors, uh that come and do the plays,
and I mean much bigger stars than me. I mean
Meryl Streep and Natalie Portman and all these super fancy
(17:34):
people have have performed there and uh, and they and
they do really really cool productions. Mine had Jimmy Smiths
and Christopher Lloyd and Kristin Johnston and UM, Julia Stiles
and UM. Actually David Harbor. Interestingly enough, over Platt Oliver
(17:55):
Platte Sterling Brown was originally in the show with me,
and then he broke his leg and the part was
taken over by David Harborow. So there's the level of
actors that are rolling through the delic court and um.
And by the way, so then when it rains, you
can't do the show obviously, and it rains a lot
in the summer in Manhattan, and so you kind of
(18:17):
are like, it's like a like in sports playing when
when they take a break right in baseball, halftime, halftime. No,
when when it rains in baseball, they pull out the
big delay. They pull out the big tarps. That's always fun.
That was my favorite part of going to the baseball game.
Move you'd see all the guys roll out the tarps.
(18:39):
So not the game went to the game, you were like,
please please make it rain so I could see the
guys rolling. I just thought the game to me was boring.
But when all the men came out and then did
a choreographed in unison like tarp release, I thought that
was beautiful. I also like it. I also like it
(19:01):
in this what is it the seventh inning when they
when they clean up the dirt, you know when they
do like the like they yeah, you know they're in
the seventh thing set when they jog and they have
their little screens they pull and they make the dirt
look pretty. Oh my god, I like that part too. Anyway,
So this is my story the um So. I had
written Garden State and I was trying to get it made,
(19:22):
and I knew that Natalie Portman had done a play.
I believe she had done the Seagull in at the
Delacourt in Central Park, and I thought, oh, here's a
good angle for my letter to her. I as it
was reigning outside, and I believe I was in the
same dressing room that she had been in, and I
wrote her a letter saying, dear Natalie, I'm writing to
you from dressing room whatever be at the Delacort Theater,
(19:45):
which I believe was yours during Seagull, and I want
to talk to you about this movie. So that was
sort of my inn and I wrote her this personal
note and which led to her saying, I love the script.
Let's have lunch, and and then we were off to
the races. But it all began there at the Court
Theater in Central Park. Dude, I remember that letter, and
I remember you reading the letter to me. I did, Yeah,
(20:06):
you did read the letter to me. And first of all,
it wasn't just a letter. You put your heart and
soul into this. You got it, you gotta be, you
gotta give it, you gotta lay it all out on
the line, no doubt. But this wasn't like like I
feel like, there were so many versions of this letter,
you know what I mean, and you read me like
one of the final versions. And I don't want to
get too far into details because it really is a
(20:27):
message between you and her, but it was well tied together.
You were like, it just started raining in the beginning
of the letter, and at the end of the letter
you were like, they're gonna call me soon. The rain
is just stopped, dude. It was so it was a
fucking you read you You recounting my writing to me
give me goose bumps. I always write. In fact, I'm
(20:50):
gonna write one today to an actress, you know, as
you know during Quarantine, I've been writing this new screenplay, um,
and I'm very excited about it, and it's time for
me to write one of those letters again, you know,
for those of you're not in the business when you're
when you're reaching out to a star that you might
you might know them as an acquaintance, but you might
not know them at all. You might and then you
chatted with their agent and then I said, and the
(21:10):
agent might love it, and they say, okay, well before
I give it to her, do you want to say
something to her or him? And uh, And you write
a note and it's sort of like an impassioned plea
to really consider it. And so I'm writing one of
those after this, after this that's great, dude. You know
I'm never I'm starting right now, dear Donald. But oh
fu yeah, I was about to say, I've never received
(21:31):
one of those notes. I'm really looking forward. You never have.
I'm sure you probably gotten an email, maybe like I
like to do it, like like old school, like handwritten.
But I'm sure maybe you've gotten an email like, dear Donald,
we love you for this, please consider it. Well uh yeah,
of course, yes, yes, but not a freaking handwritten Zach
Braff note to star in a movie. Yeah, I'm gonna
(21:53):
write you one. I'm looking forward to it this time.
I'm gonna write you one for this movie. I've even done,
you know, because I collect some old school, old school typewriter.
There's like really old ones, and I've I've even done, like,
I've even typed them out on my old fucked up
typewriter because that that kind of looks cool. Let's put it.
This might be one step too far, I think. No,
with this particular actress, I might go handwritten. It's well,
(22:13):
that's fine too, but it's not too far. This is
what I think. Look if I had from nineteen seventy
something envelope with a letter in it, from Spielberg asking
me to be in Jaws go on. I would freaking
lose my ship, and I would I would have and
(22:33):
I still had it. It would be worth so much
to me. It's priceless. I have a letter from Spielberg.
You know that. That's why I'm bringing this up. I'm okay,
I'm trying to segue into this thing. So you have
a letter from Spielberg. Really good segue, Donald Um. Yeah,
I have a letter from Spielberg. After Garden State. He
(22:54):
wrote me a personal note saying how much he loved it.
And it said something incredible like on behalf of so many,
I want to wellcommute the world of being a filmmaker
or something like that. I mean, I'm acting like I
don't have it memorized and I framed it. It's it's
up in my house because I cherish it, right, That's
what I'm trying to say. Was it on typewriter? I
(23:14):
don't think he typed it. It was like it was.
It's a typewritten letter. It's a physical letter, and I
don't think he sat there and typed it. You don't
know that. I don't know that that's true. I guess
in my head. I always assumed he dictated it to somebody.
This is what happened after Season one of Scrubs. Life
became My point is, life became different. Life became different.
(23:36):
Way to wrap it all around, Yeah, but it but
it really did, you know what I mean? Like I
went away and I did a movie that I didn't
have to audition for. Yeah, you know what I mean.
I got to be in a movie with a bunch
of really phenomenal actresses and actors and a great director.
And life had changed for us at this point. Yeah,
we were feeling ourselves. I was popping around the city
(23:56):
to Michelle branches everywhere. Yeah. Man, I just listen to
that on my workout today on the treadmill. It really
is a good workout song. You know, everye to me
when I closed my eyes, it's you I see, and
there after I'm not alone. And then there's the one
after it um all you wanted. That's another good one.
(24:18):
If you want to, I can take you away from here.
I'm telling you guys, listen to that jam. If you
likes so lonely inside, get it out there. Yeah, and
on you on and so I when I hear these songs,
I think of this summer because it was hot as
fucking balls in Manhattan, and I remember I had my
(24:39):
walk my walkman on that you that my yellow Walkman
that you told everybody about. And I just remember like
bopping around the city to Michelle Branch because that was
the summer. Those songs came out and I was like,
the song is fire. It might even been the summer
before that, but it's all good, dude, don't nobody's Nobody's
trip about it. No. I remember it was like one
of those you know, like when the summer comes out,
there's always like those big pops you're gonna hear nine
(25:00):
thousand times. I'm pretty sure you were late to the
pop jam of Everywhere, No Way, No Way, Joel, Please
look that up. What year did Everywhere come out? Wait
a second, I don't want you saying I wasn't on
the current jam, because I know what the current kids
are listening to. Okay, you know what they're listening to.
Now what are they listening to? Now? I have no
idea what to listen. I put on Hits one, two
(25:23):
thousand one, Donald We Air two thousand and one, right,
And this was the fucking summer of two thousand and two.
What month? What? Yeah? Thank you? Well, it was the
first summer that the song was available to bop two. Whatever, dude, whatever, dude,
break you away from here, take me away, Michelle Branch.
Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these
(25:45):
fine words. So look, My point is this, though, when
we come into this episode and we do the recap
and everything like that, and we're now in it. Yeah,
I laughed so much at this episode. A lot of
very funny, very funny moments. Well, we were feeling ourselves
(26:06):
a little. We had a we had a pep in
our step. We were a bit of a hit show,
and we had had an epic summer and now it's
time for to get back into it. And you had
you know, did you have a mustache? Season one? I
don't think I did. Know. I'm not sure if I did.
It wasn't that as thick as it is. And I
didn't see your mole. Your mole is out in this episode,
(26:28):
and I don't remember it shining so brightly in other episodes.
Really did the mole grow? Well? Yeah, it used to
be like a little tiny dot when I was a kid,
and then as a grown man, it's become this monstrous
thing that grows hair. Oh yeah, we've talked about that,
and you have to shave the mole. The hair is
a little bit thicker that comes, you know what I mean,
(26:49):
it's a little tighter and save that mole now listen, um.
I thought this episode was very funny. I laughed so
many times, and a lot of it is inside jokes too. Though,
what do you mean it? Well, we can get into it, okay.
I laughed at leaky oh ring leakio ring. Yeah, that's
(27:10):
an inside joke, dude, that's something that we would that
went on forever after this, and I didn't realize it
came from the janitor. We were saying, we've been saying.
I've been saying leaky oh ring because I thought it
was something I knew it was something that I heard
on scrubs. I didn't know that it was at that moment, right, Well,
I always thaw maybe I think I heard it from
this and then you and I used it to describe
(27:30):
like if you if you're if you're shake shake shaking,
no matter how many times you shake shake shaking, you
still get a little dribble. You got a leaky O ring,
You got a leaky o ring. But it came from
this dude. I promised my girlfriend's mom i'd limit the
Willie talk. But there's some WILLI talk in this episode.
There's a lot of Willie talking. This when he's when
he spraysed me with the when the thing for the
(27:51):
first time, and I sort of push out you can
kind of see my oh gosh, oh gosh. Well, well, no,
I'm series. I wrote it down. Oh it's not that bad.
But um, you're talking about your bulge. I have a
little bulge. Yeah, I wish it was wish it was
where you but we were when you saw that? Were
(28:12):
you like ye thirty eight I wrote, you can see
my peep lump. Well, Dubell is just slowly shit get
her head with her eyes closed. Well, I mean, listen,
(28:32):
not compared to Rob who fucking right. That's okay, right,
let's start from the beginning, all right, But I just
want to say Rob, Rob has This is the first
time we ever see Rob and his banana hammock Y
a Todd the Todd and it's you know, I don't
think it's appropriate for primetime TV. In fact, neither did ABC,
(28:53):
because when the show moved from NBC to ABC, which
is a Disney owned company. They forbid us to shoot
Rob like that from from the waist down. Yeah, and
they thought it was too inappropriate because he's you know,
he's got a big ass package and it's it's like
covered in fire. The banana hammock has fire all over it.
(29:14):
He's got a big people lump. Dude, his people ump
is huge. Pep up is huge. I wonder if Rob,
you know, maybe season two we should start and ask
Rob chapter. Let's do it. Okay, let's do it, because
everyone's been asking we're gonna have Rob on the show?
Um uh um. But I think it'd be funny since
he's such a fan favorite, if we occasionally do an
(29:35):
ask ask us asked the Todd asked the Todd ask
the Todd, ask the Todd. Now are we asking? We
don't want to ask him in character? You want to
ask Rob? Mashio, What are you trying to ask Rob
right now? Dude? I want to ask him if he
filled his peep lump um in the banana hammock. Are
you sure you want to ask Rob? Well? Don't. I
(29:58):
think the fans probably want an honest answer to this.
If that was filled out or not. Hold on, okay,
what are you editing? No, we don't have to do this.
I just thought it might be a good way to
start the Ask Rob chapter of season two. Okay, so
go ahead and ask him. Let's just see how it
turns out. Okay, well, how could this go wrong? You
go ahead and ask him. Rob. You know, this is
(30:19):
the first time we see your package, and the fans
all want to know, or at least I want to know.
Were you augmenting your situation in any way because your
peet lump is very large? Guys, I admit it. I
thought long and hard about augmenting it, maybe slip on
the weight grift from a dumbbell or whatnot. But in
(30:40):
the end I just went on that to Ral. I mean,
there's no stuffing in that loaf. Come on, we just
picked the ripe banana hammock one that kind of makes
everything stand at attention if you will. It's what I
also like to refer to as the package enhancer. Hey, now,
thank you, Rob. Right, I've got pictures yeah, okay, of
Judy of a Loma, all of these people. Rob has
(31:04):
posted them on his Instagram account. Checking out his meat,
His meat lump. Really, it's not meat lump, it's peep lump.
Meat lump sounds funny to me. Is gross. I don't
want to hear that. That's fucking nasty. All right. They
start from the beginning, good morning Tiger, right good. I
(31:27):
got even even before even before the good morning Tiger,
the twitch before we go into the recap. So you're
lying in bed and you do a little twitch right
before we go into uh, Jordan, I laughed my ass
off up. What's funny about the twitch? I got this.
I got it up on the screen here because you
(31:48):
were you were having a nightmare, dude, and I laughed
so hard. Well, listen, this was us. The funny thing
is that, like people will be watching this because we're
in bed together, because you've been kicked out of the
room by Carla like this. And the funny thing is
all this story you just told you about, like living together.
This was like this was us during the summer, like
literally in bed in our boxers, being like, last night
was crazy? Can you believe it? You skin the goat right?
(32:13):
Last night was crazy. I think I think you slept
on the pin pong table, dude. Is Amy Tannis mad
at us again, it was a great It was a
great summer. Anyway, if you want to picture what our
summer was like, it's a lot like this Donald and
I in Boxers talking about our nights. I love how
(32:33):
j D and Turk are like at sleepaway camp or
having a sleepover in JD's room in the beginning of
and throughout the show. And then you go, you go,
I thought we were gonna do to head to foot.
I say that. I said, I that're gonna go head
to the foot alignment. And then you go, what's the difference,
And I go with the head to foot alignment, there's
no way for them to lock in. You can't dock.
(32:58):
You can't dock. Yes, I think you can still doc
but that's a story for another day. How about Rowdy
humping my leg? That is like a classic moment in
Scrubs history. Absolutely and didn't go yeah hit that. Yeah, dude,
that is a classic moment. That's a meme. Dude, that
that shows up all the time. That's a meme. It's
a gift. It's all the things the kids love. Um.
(33:20):
I thought that was very funny. I don't know if
that was in the script or not. Was that in
the script. Oh, I don't know. I don't I would
be honored if I'm the one in improv the taxiderman
dog humping my leg. That's pretty funny. Yeah, rowdy, No, No,
he's just gonna abuse it. You know what? Yeah, you
know what, Let's go to Bill and ask him. No, no,
(33:41):
you can't ask Bill things like did zach improv this?
Because he's gonna be like no. That was my genius
idea five six seven, eight. Fucking guy. I just love
having him on the show Man. That episode was very
funny with him and Christa. I listened to it back
and I was laughing out loud a lot of it. Yes,
(34:03):
so was I. They're funny people. Um, yeah, you Luke Skywalker. No,
at the you did the Luke Skywalker No, dude, what
are you talking about? When Jordan's about to tell Cox
that you guys slept together, you give a little Luke
Skywalker no in your sleep? What do I do you
remember when Darth Vaders standing in front of Luke Skywalker
after he's chopped his hand off at Cloud City over
(34:25):
the planet Bespin. No, you don't remember, Joe, said joel Is,
once again sitting there nodding, being like Preacher, and he says,
and he says to and he says to Luke Skywalker,
if only you knew the power of the dark side.
Obi Wan never told you would happen to your father.
And then Luke says, he told me enough. Oh my god,
(34:46):
you killed him. Dan's lip sinking along, and then Vader
says him, no, I am your father, and then Luke goes, no,
that's not true. That's IMPI search your feelings, Luke, you
know it to be true. And he did exactly what
you did. Oh my god, good performance. It's one of
(35:14):
the best moments in cinema. I defy anyone on this planet.
When Nate when that movie first came out, if you
are still alive and you went and saw that movie
in the theaters, when Vader reveals himself to Luke Skywalker
to be Anakin Skywalker, no one saw that shit coming
(35:34):
and every it blew everybody's fucking mind. And to this day,
I don't care who you are. That's one of the
greatest pieces of cinema ever. And you can argue and
fight and say no, it's not. It's one of the
best moments in cinema history. I'm not arguing with you. Period. Oh,
he paused for the period. Now, Colin Hay, we haven't
(35:56):
spoken about Colin Hay. For those of you don't know,
Colin Hay was the lead singer of a very famous,
very successful band called Men at Work. Yeah, and they
were an Australian band, but Colin Scottish that part I
don't fully know the history of um and their music
was incredible, and so Colin um In, as we told
(36:20):
you on the in another episode, kind of went solo
and was playing clubs in La singing Zone songs, but
also singing some of his biggest Men at Work songs,
kind of just acoustically on a guitar. And that's where
Overkill came about. And that's where Colin came ont of
the show because we all loved him right well. Christa
said she she she told the story last episode, but
(36:42):
she said she found they found each other at one
of the shows at Largo. Yeah, and he agreed to
be on the show, which is amazing. It's very good.
First of all, we did a whole Colin It's like
a Colin Hayes slash Scrubs music video. In the beginning
of the show, ship's at least two minutes long. It's
at least two minutes long, now do you notice. So
(37:02):
there's a lot of talk about how you're holding those
coffee cups on the street because there's clearly no coffee
in them. You hand me these two coffee cups and
you're holding it like like this, and you're like here,
you know, you just ordered coffee, and then you hand
it to me like this like there's clearly no coffee
in the coffee. What kind of fucking coffee holding acting
is that? Oh my god, you hand it sideways for
the for the effect, and so you could see my face.
(37:25):
If I hope straight up years later you won't take
responsibility and say I did shitty acting with those coffee cups. What?
Oh yeah, what? No, you you held them. There's clearly
no coffee in the coffee cup. That's not true. That
was there was there was Listen man, listen man, I'm
(37:47):
gonna be honest with you. I want to give a
young actors some advice out there. If you're holding a
fake cup. I didn't go to the Harvard of the Northwest.
I didn't go the Midwest whatever it is. They didn't
go to the Northwestern. We call it the Harvard of
the Midwest. Listen, I didn't go there. Well, we didn't
have a class in how to hold a fucking coffee cup.
(38:09):
If you're an actor, it's just obviously you did. You
studied some form of holding things with no weight and
making them feel like they had weight at college. List
I didn't do that. I'm winging it. If you're an actor,
I'm winging it. And you're holding a coffee cup, at
least put some water in there so it has some
weight to it. Okay, you've learned a lesson here today.
Why is that coffee cart in the middle of the sidewalks?
(38:31):
Did you notice that too? It's like they's just we're
walking down the street and there's just like a coffee cart.
Because this is back in a day when scrubs wasn't
supposed to be necessarily in California. It was just anywhere America.
And if you go down the street in New York
City and you walk down that, you'll find Barista's on
the street. You'll find bagel and donuts and stuff on
the street. But that's like the traditional New York City
(38:53):
street car. This was like as a dude who had
like a bar setup. I just thought it was weird
production design. That's all I promised you, just because they
wanted to represent street vendors in scrubs. Like if you're
anywhere in America, that's that's that's uh metropolitan or any
(39:13):
type of metro area, they're going to run into street vendors. Okay,
I believe that. I just thought he was placed oddly.
Um at four eleven, Colin really goes in the morgue drawer,
which is a bold move. I want people to know
this isn't a set. So just think how many corpses
have been on that drawer. And Colin was willing, as
part of his contribution to Scrubs to be rolled in
and closed into an actual morgue drawer with some skins on.
(39:37):
He had the underwear, the skins underwear. Yeah, you had
to have something because we would have seen up his gown, right,
he doesn't have a gown on in it. He had,
but no, he's butt naked when he's into morgue. Oh oh,
you're right. The guitar I think was hiding his giblets.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yea, yeah yeah yeah. But I remember thinking,
like like anytime we did stuff in that morgue freaked
(39:57):
me out because I thought about all the hundreds of
not thousands, no excuse me, the thousands of dead people
that had been in that room. And there we were
like acting, have you ever had you ever been inside
one of those draws? I don't remember if in in
eight seasons, if I ever was was forced to do that,
I really don't. I think I would have remembered it.
(40:18):
I imagine you would remember that. Yeah, that's one of
those things where it's like, holy cow, the sun just
came out. Donald, the sun just came out. Finally. Just
having some GTS kabucha. I love gets kombucha. I need
another package. Trilogy you ever had? This one? Trilogy is
one of my favorites. It's trilogy. It's kind of like
it's kind of like it's like the rainbow flavor. I
have a question, Joe, Wow, do you guys get Do
(40:40):
you guys get packages from GTS kombuchas? We need to
put an er, We need to put it first of all.
We need a rider first of all, and in the rider,
he's gonna go get kabucha for everybody, do you guys?
Of course you do? Yeah, we need to make ye,
I certainly wouldn't. Well, let's pull our limited strings. Let's
(41:01):
let's see what we can do. Let's see what we
can do. Let's see what we can if we come through.
You got to talk about it on the podcast. You
know what's gonna happen is that we're gonna be embarrassed
because they're gonna be like no, and then you and
I are gonna have to go and buy some shit
and just drop through. We're gonna off the front like
they were. See, we pulled our strings. If we gotta
breath me while it's driving up, no way. They would
(41:22):
never do us like that at GTS Kampucha. Yeah. How
about the new title sequence that's not on very many
episodes because people fucking hated it. I didn't mind it, though,
it's too liked it. That's what I t That's what
I wrote. I wrote, it's a little long, but I
(41:43):
like the new opening. It's crazy that after one year
of opening up I wrote it down. Obviously I'm I'm
reading it to you. It's crazy after one year, we
only had one year of the opening of our show,
and after one year of that opening, people lost their
mind when the new open and they came out and
were like, no, you can't do that. It's like, look,
(42:03):
imagine Family Ties, which had a new opening every year.
It was the same, same song, but different different same song,
different shots, different way of singing it. Wait was no,
they didn't change the way of singing it. I I've
somehow believed that at one point it got acoustic. I
could be wrong. No, but maybe I'm wrong, But different shots,
(42:24):
a different world. Every year, it seemed like there was
a new opening for the show, The Cosby Show every year,
a different opening for The Cosby Show. We tried it
on Thursday Night, but I guess we came out at
a time when like they weren't doing that anymore because
Friends had the same pretty much the same, even though
that was different clips. Also we tried it, and the
(42:46):
reason was because they wanted to add Neil, because Neil
Neil Flynn and the janitor had become a regular and
he wasn't in the title sequence, so they and that
took You can see that that took a long time
to shoot, like a full day to shoot those title
sequences because of the effect of it all. And it
came out and just wasn't as good they had had
to make the song slower. It just didn't work. It
(43:08):
was it wasn't as cool. Yeah, well I didn't think
the visuals were as cool. I like the fact of
everybody walking past and Neil's I like Neil just doing
Janet or work in the middle of the shot. Yeah.
I watched it and I was so anyway, there's not
that many epiles. I think that the fans revolted enough
and said, how dare you? You know? People get people
(43:28):
are very loyal to things Donald After one year though,
it wasn't like WED. It wasn't like you changed the
Cheers theme, you know what I mean? Like, imagine changing
the Cheers theme after five seasons. You'd be pretty pissed off.
But imagine slowed it down. Though it's like making you
way in the world. Today people were like, fuck that shit.
We were only on for one year. I didn't know
(43:50):
were popular. I mean, had sixteen million people watching it
that I was about to say it shows this imagine
we tried to change up our very popular theme song
now available as a ringdowne will never happen. People don't
worry about it. We're worried thinking about it. I was
at one point I was like, yeah, we should do
another version of the theme song. And then I thought,
right then and there. I remember when we tried to
(44:10):
change the scrubs same song and it didn't work out.
But you know what people want is they want an
extended version. They want the full song that we can sing.
You know, they want to make it into a full song.
They want us to make it into a full song.
Do they want a bridge and a hook? I mean
they want a bridge. We're gonna need all of it.
But I think Charlie's busy releasing an album, so it
might not be good timing. If he's not releasing an album,
(44:31):
he's definitely releasing five dollar foot long hot dogs. I
know Charlie's all over those. Make that money, Charlie, make
that money. Get that lamb boler foot long, get that right?
All right? Did you see those nikes I sent you
the other day? Those are nice? Right? You didn't send
them to me, you showed me a picture of them.
I know those are hot, right, They're dope. That's a
(44:52):
big difference from sending him to me and showing me
a picture. I'll get you a pair if you like him, dude,
I do like him. Did you get you gotta hook
up at Nike. No, I got to hook up with
um Travis Scott. That's his name, right, Are you fucking
kidding when you hang out with Travis Scott? Now, No,
I don't know Travis Scott, but I know someone who's
down with Travis Scott. Okay, let me get this straight.
(45:14):
Travis Scott sent you sneakers. He doesn't he wasn't liking
get these to Zach, but no, he indirectly did. Yes,
this is the bullshit I'm talking about. It's a great
thing that you're getting all these kicks and shit like that,
but you aren't going to wear them things like I'm
gonna wear them. They're so hot, aren't they? They're so dope, dude.
They called the Cactus. I'm a little jealous. I'm a
(45:34):
little jealous, just a little jealous what they were. They're
the Cactus something. They're so fire, they are like their
Airmax cactus something there Fuego. Are you guys googling them?
Dan and Joel, Yes you should their Fuego. I didn't
get those. I wore him yesterday and got hey, Travis,
thank you. I don't think Travis is listening, even if
(45:55):
he's not somebody is anyway. Nipsey Russell played the tin
man Donald. Now. I love the fact that we gave
a shout out to the Whiz. The Whiz and Nipsey
Russell had a catchphrase. Do you remember what it was?
In the Wiz? Not in the Whiz because that was
a scripted thing. But whenever he was in things often
you know, he only had it. He only had it
(46:16):
in Wildcat's not true. He said it in other things
and it was right. Yeah. Now, if you guys haven't
seen the movie Wildcats, it is a fucking masterpiece, right, honestly,
snipes Woody Harrelson. Ye, Goldie Hawn, yep. Movies movies that
I grew up on when I was a kid. I
(46:38):
loved that movie so much, dude, I love that movie
so much too. When I when you introduced me to
Goldie Hawn, when you made the movie with Kate and
you introduced me to Goldie Hawn, that was a highlight
of my life because it's the sport of kings better
than diamond rings football. Yeah, that was my damn. That
(46:59):
was the title sequence, the credit sequence. They sing a
song and the whole cast sings it, and it's got
that awesome hook. Someone should remix that song down. That's
the sportive case better than diamond football. And she couldn't
and she couldn't get it right until the end, and
then she finally gets it right football and she starts
(47:20):
singing the harmonies. Yeah, I got it football. I love that. Okay,
you all need to go watch Wildcats tonight because I
have a lot of fun memories from anyway, Nipsey Russell
played the team. What was his It was like the
principal of the school or something like that, right, and
he would say his catchphrase, which was right. I believe
(47:42):
it was only that movie that he did that catch
I that feels too hard for Juell to google, but
I believe that that was his good that was his
What you're talking about, willis? I'm pretty sure he didn't
do that shit in the Whiz? What would you google
for that? Nipsey Russell? Right? Um? How about the oh
so at eleven o one? There's this shot that pops
(48:03):
wide to the cars on the road as they as
you know, they're all like frozen. Do you remember that moment? Yes? Now,
I had coincidentally recently seen car guys on like Twitter
and the internet talking about this shot because apparently every
car in that shot is like some beloved car um
that people love. I'm not talking about like classics like
(48:25):
corvettes and shit. I just mean, like, if you're a
real car nut um, these guys were like, look at
this shot from scrut and I imagine is the guy
we hired to bring cars out probably just brought his
whole collection to make a block street. But some guy
was like, look at these cars. There's there's the VW Diddada,
and they were like laughing slash. I don't know. They
(48:46):
were enjoying the funny range of amazing cars that car
people love that were making this traffic jam. I had
no clue. I would never have known, because to me
they look like random cars except for the VW bug
that's in the foreground. But if you're a car nut,
I encourage you to go to eleven o one on
this episode and you'll you'll know what they're talking about.
Did you notice that in the shot after that, when
(49:09):
the camera didn't the camera over where it overshot the
angle and so you can see that there's nothing behind
what's in frame, You know what I mean, Like we
literally cut it off. We angled it up. We angled
it up as far as we could go, and there's
nothing after any of those cars. I don't think we
(49:31):
were allowed to block more than that section of the street.
They let us block that much, but in the last
shot you can see, holy cow, there's nothing behind these people. Well,
Riverside Boulevard is like where we shot is a is
a major street, and I think you're not allowed to
just like shut it down for a shot, for like
for that long. Yeah, it's one of the major streets
in the valley. Yeah, you know what I mean. There's Ventura,
(49:51):
Riverside More Park before you get into the deep Valley.
This is these areas would still be considered We weren't
allowed to shut that down for too long. I'm sure.
So they said, okay, you can have twenty cars or something.
I don't know, right, I want to say Aloma right
out the gate, Aloma crushes it. Here's the thing. There's
(50:14):
one thing that we didn't talk about while we when
we started this, and that's the layoff period. You and
I were very lucky. We went right into work right
after the season was over, and we both kind of
you know, kept our rhythm going throughout the summer, right
throughout the partying and everything like that, we were still
doing a job. I wonder if other people were working
(50:39):
that summer, if other people had the fortunate the fortune
that we had to be able to work, because I
remember there's summers that we didn't work or and it
was always like that nervous feeling when you came back
and feeling like by the time we get into episode three,
my rhythm will be back. But we were very lucky.
(51:01):
We came into this thing charged and ready to go,
you know what I mean. That's why I when I
look at the stuff that we did in the beginning
of the episode that you know that follows through the episode,
we're very in sick and we're very uh, I don't
know how to put it, but it seems like there's
a little bit of season on it, you know what
I mean. The funny thing is we hadn't separated. We
(51:23):
had spent the whole summer laughing and being ourselves Slash
Turk and JD together just in Manhattan, and then we
just rolled right into it. I mean, that's why I
think we're this episode. You and I are really funny
together in that in that whole bed joke because it's
just like that was that was kind of what we
did all summer. I wonder if Bill was probably imagining
that that's what we were up to. But um, you
ever give or fine. When you start a new movie
(51:45):
or a new project, like in the beginning, especially the
first week, you just feel so weird and rusty, and
you kind of always wish you could go back and
redo whatever you did the first week. Yeah, absolutely, I
find that I find that sometimes those are the better
scenes because you're not as you're not you're I don't know, man,
(52:07):
when you start to oh I nailed that or that
was what I wanted, you've already decided what your choice
was that you wanted to put into the scene. But
when you're rusty and you can't figure it out, you're
trying anything, and sometimes that's the best. You know, that's
the best thing, and you are yeah, and you've got
(52:28):
you've got an adrenaline going. But whether I'm directing or
I'm acting, I always feel like day one is so
crazy because you know, no one knows each other, You're
meeting everyone and and it's a it's a whole new world.
And and then then you have to go perform. I
always try to make the first couple days if I'm
directing super light, so people are, you know, especially, you
don't want to put anything like some big emotional scene
or a love scene or anything that's too intimate, because
(52:50):
you want people to sort of build the time you
get to know each other, and you try and pick
something strategically that that you know, that isn't too hard
of a of a day. But you know, I always
have this fantasy like, oh, we should go back and
like reshoot week one, you know, after we now that
we're all friends, we all now that we all know
each other, right right, Um, we paid There were a
(53:11):
lot of jokes in this episode that we you know,
we either put in the beginning of the episode just
so it could play at the end of the episode,
or something that are from last season, like Elliott telling
her mom about the guy at work that she's you know,
that she kind of still has feelings for on the
phone and her you hear oh no, no no, and
(53:33):
she goes, yes, Mom, I'm straight. That was a joke
from last season. Yea that finally gets paid off in
this in the first episode of the second season. Yeah,
well that's what Bill was talking about in last in
the last episode of the podcast when he said that, um,
you know, people like it when there's you know, these little,
these continuing things that they go, Oh, I remember when
she said to her mom that she was gay, you know. Right?
(53:55):
All right, so everybody listen, we have a guest. We're
gonna take a break and we'll be right back with
Season two, Episode one of Fake Doctors A real friend. Hey,
hello there, Julia five hy Julia, Hi, how are you
(54:21):
have on scrubs? Where are you right now? I don't
have scrubs. These are my clothes? Oh R D J
D and turk colors. She's wearing a Oh nice, nice,
Nice to meet Julia. Nice to meet you. I'm so thrilled. Dan,
(54:43):
big round of applause for Julia five Star. Go there
you go. There's your Oprah intro. Guys, you know you've
made it on the podcast when you get a Donald
phase on Oprah intro. I can't believe they just said
my name? Yep. How did we get two people at
at the same time? How did this happen? Well, they
might know each other. I bet there's something that Joel
(55:04):
is going to reveal, or maybe Julia is going to
reveal it. So we have a mother and son here.
They've been quarantined separately, but watching the show. They'd watching
the show together for a long time, since this kid
was thirteen, and it continues to bring them together. So
I wanted them to share their soul's sweet love. That's
crazy is that he looks like a grown man. So
that just makes me feel old. Well, he's how old
(55:28):
is Noah? Julia? He's twenty four. Oh he's a grown man.
Oh yeah, he's very grown. He's a grown man. Now,
Julia tell us the story. Did you guys were you watching?
When did you start watching? Did you were you always
watching together? Or did you were you watching when it
was originally airing? Well, I was always watching when it
was originally airing. I wasn't going to allow him to
(55:48):
watch that when it was originally airing. Noah, you missed
it already, but I said already, Noah, stop there you go.
Noah and Julie, I think you've done the Oprah intro. Jesus,
people's ears are gonna blow out. No, keep doing it.
Don't you like me to do it? Oh god, oh
(56:09):
my god, No, Please don't encourage this behavior. I expected
this out. I cringe. I love it, don't get me wrong.
Donald's opra voice makes my life. But I do have
to pull my ear at my headphone back from my ear,
and I'm always worried that someone's gonna be like on
a jog and like blow out their ear drum. Yeah, no,
that's fine. Tell us about you guys. Your mom started
(56:29):
to tell us, But like, how did you find the Scrubs?
And you guys are apparently watching it together through quarantine somehow. Yeah,
I mean it was a long time ago. We I
mean we got to watch probably shoot, when did you
guys start because I would say we were probably around
season three when we actually started watching, from when you
(56:50):
guys made it on TV, so we were like week
to week by that basis. But but you know, after that,
I'm still I'm young, but I'm still old enough to
like have the Dish, watch that pre Netflix, whole all
that stuff. Um, you know, I hope that people are
watching as we do the show. That's what we envisioned happening.
(57:12):
I don't know if I definitely, because a lot of
people ask me on on Instagram, like can you do
a summary of the show? At the top, And I mean,
I guess we could do that, but I just assume that.
I don't know. I guess a lot of people don't
have time to do that. But do you think we
should be doing Joel? Should we be doing a summary?
Is that better podcasting? It feels boring to me to
be like and this episode. Yeah, I thought people would
(57:33):
watch Alan, But if you're getting a ton of comments,
I think maybe we could try to do a timed one.
You could do like a thirty second recab show. Yeah, well,
Donald and I could try and do it like together,
like without reading it, because like you could easily read one.
But it'd be more fun if you're like, all right,
this is what happens. Yeah, totally try I'll have a timer.
I like, that's it. You can't explain anywhere of the show. Yeah,
(57:54):
And we only get thirty seconds to explain the show.
Or we could each have a competition where we each
have fifteen seconds to describe the show and then and
then you and Dan vote on who did a better
summow of the show. No, no, no, not now not?
Why not? Why not? Because you're you're a writer? One? Yes?
Two I I I no, No, absolutely not then I've
(58:18):
been vetoed. Yes, Vito, that shit okay, I think I
would enjoy. I would enjoy like the Donald summarizes, there
could be like a little music cue Dan, like a
like a bell tree or something like. Now. Donald Fhazon
summarizes the episode. All right, so this is what happens, right,
j D and Turk that shit would be you know what. Listen, Yeah,
(58:42):
we'll try it next time, but no rating, who did
it better? Okay, fine, fine, fighting listen. I just think
that for season two, we gotta you know, you always
want to introduce some new things for the fans. You
want to bring in like so now we're gonna do
an ask Rob, We're gonna do it. Donald summarizes the
show in thirty seconds. Okay, this is the this is
the people need two brand new things. Let's get back
(59:06):
to Oh my god, uh do you guys have a
question for for for Donald Fhazon and or I? I
mean I have a question and Noah has a question. Okay,
Julie you go first, you're the lady. My question is
um just for you that I was just wondering if
(59:28):
you had gotten around to watching remember the Titans. Yeah,
great question question, Julia, why are you putting me on
the spot? Well, for a couple of the reasons. Um,
I think it's one of the best movies ever made.
Thank you my top three. Um, And I mean Donald's character,
Pete Jones is the running back and running back that's
(59:51):
why he is the running back. It is. It is
a beautiful, beautiful movie. I it is one of the
movies that I thin if it's on TV, I'll watch
it with commercials. I'll see, Yeah, I don't where it's
at in the movie, and watch it beginning and the middle.
It doesn't matter. I think I've seen it. I don't know,
(01:00:11):
and I'm not exaggerating at least one hundred times. Julia,
it's interesting all. First of all, Julia, I appreciate you.
You are amazing for for that. Second of all, do
you know what you and Zach haven't don't have in common?
Have you've watched You've watched remember the time Listen. I
knew this was going to come up today and I
(01:00:32):
was very nervous about it. And I just want to
say I had my parents here this weekend and I
didn't have a time, but I'm going to watch it
as Zack it's one hundred and thirteen minutes. That's it. Okay,
it's a beautiful, beautiful movie, and it's really indicative of
today's times, even though that's actually very sad that it is. Well,
one more thing about remember the Titans we love fit
(01:00:55):
so much. Noah and I do that. Um, Noah got
married this past January. And Ain't no Mountain high enough?
Was the uh? Was the mother's son dance? That's great,
that's so sweet because of the locker room. Yeah, Vayne,
Ryan Gosling singing, Ain't no My mountain high enough? And
you guys spoilers, Julius spoilers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good, won't know.
(01:01:24):
You're right. You're right, and I'm ashamed about it. And
you can believe that. I got a lot of a
lot of heat on my Instagram comments about how dare
you not watch Donald's movie, et cetera, the gorgeous, gorgeous film. Okay, Zach,
have you seen Clueless? Of course I've seen Clueless. I
love Clueless. Okay, we're not gonna go through all your credits, Okay,
I haven't. Zack homies, Zach, Zach, Zach, I saw the
(01:01:45):
Postman one the Postman? Why wash you saw Next Day air.
That's because I brought you to my house. Okay, come on,
you don't argue in front of the guests. Noah, do
you have a question that's unrelated to you? Ever watched
Way Exhales? That you ever watched Waiting to Exhale's at
Lake Great Whitney Houstons And that one's that I know?
And Angela Bassett who was a friend of mine, by
(01:02:06):
the way, award winning and uh Oscar Award winning Angela
waited Antela Bassett win Oscar. No Ah, it's a shame
she shot one that's right for for for for Tina Turner.
You don't know that. No. Noah's question might be Zach,
have you watched another one of Donald's movies? You don't
(01:02:28):
have find out? Okay, Noah, no pressure. No I wish
I was better with my hands and looking up to
ask if he has um or you don't have to
look him up. They're all hits, Noah, they're all hits. No.
I want you to be favor I'm gonna watch I'm
gonna watch Remember the Titans tonight. But I want you
to watch a little film called Homie Spamoni. You could
(01:02:52):
watch that if you want to, or you could watch
Next Day Air or Kick Ass two or Clueless or
Waiting to Exhale or Can't Wait, ju Juice or all
these movies are considered movies that made a lot of money.
And guess who's never seen any of these movies. That's
(01:03:12):
not true. I saw Josie in the Pussycats. No, you didn't.
I saw can't hardly wait? Who was I can't hardly wait?
Uh and can't hardly wait? You're um, you're the guy
who's friends with the other guys. Yeah, exactly A Noah
as a question, zach Um. Okay, so I know that
obviously JD loves apples. You've been quoted saying you don't. Yeah. Um.
(01:03:39):
A lot of people got upset. I think I tweeted
that years ago and people were like, what is life? People?
People were like, I don't want to live anymore in
the world my reality. Yeah exactly. That was the reaction
people to have. They were like it was so funny.
It got retweeted right. People were like, I don't want
(01:04:00):
to live in this world anymore. I'm just curious what
you do drink and if you get a little handsy afterwards?
What that all looks like I can wait before you
can I answer the question was directed in me, dude. Yeah,
but if you one of those questions that I should
probably answer, you can answer after me. Um. I like
this for both of you. I like all things UM
(01:04:22):
I drink. It depends if I'm If I'm gonna have wine,
I like, UM like a sarah. Um. If I'm gonna
have red, I like a nice pino. UM. I like
if I'm gonna have a cocktail, usually vodka something vodka.
So do you remember when you were in the gimlet Yeah,
(01:04:43):
I was in a gimlet phase for a while, and
then I like beer. I like beer, Um, but I'm
gluten free, so I drink gluten free. UM like um
pale ale because I like pale ale a lot. Okay,
So listen. Zach never gets handy when he's drunk. Not
and handy in the sense of grabbing and hugging and
all of that stuff. But he does get very handy
(01:05:05):
with the with the with his points. Uh So, if
he has a point to make, Zach is very and
let me tell you, emphatic, very emphatic about how he
You guys can't see it at home. Listening to this,
But it's one of those things where everything has his
pointer fingers pointed high, and then he brings it down hard,
(01:05:26):
like a like a javelin. I think it's a common
quality for people who've been overserved that they get emphatic. No,
that's what I drink. Donald drinks anything and everything. Listen.
I don't have a preference. Yeah, Donald, just as long
as that is alcohol. No, it's not. No. Well, no,
let's be honest. Let's let's tell the truth. I do
(01:05:48):
enjoy uh libation? Are you? Do you have a plan
for the for the for the fourth Donald or you're
gonna make some fancy cocktail at your house? No, but
I probably will make burgers and Frank's okay, But you
don't have like a frozen drink lined up. What do
(01:06:10):
you guys got plans for? Yeah? What are you, Julia? No,
I assume you're not together in the same city. We're
in the same city. Where're about time? And was trying
to be We're just trying to be um, you know. Good.
Do you guys go around you guys go around other people?
Then obviously you've been around. No, we try to keep
it very I've really only been home. I have to
(01:06:32):
say I fell off the wagon Julia with my with
my mom because she she came to visit me. Um,
and she's been very very strict, as as have I been.
And uh so I felt and she'd driven, she didn't
fly and she I opened the front door and she said,
are we gonna hug? And I said, you bet we are, Mom,
that's right. We had the biggest hug. So why don't
(01:06:54):
you Why don't you guys if you guys have been
both quarantining for fourteen days without seeing anyone and stuff,
we we try to um. All three of my kids
actually live in the city and we all live about
ten minutes away from each other. Um, we might be
able to see each other this weekend. Where is that
a little bit? You're living Grand Rapids, Michigan in the
(01:07:16):
house right on. Yeah, you guys are experiencing its spike
right now too, like we are in California. It's going up. Yeah, yeah,
nothing like La County though. Man, where we are is
just blowing the roof off the graph sadly. Yeah, it's
a shame it is. But we're here to cheer people up,
so we're not going to dwell, right guys. That's right. Um,
(01:07:39):
all right, well, thank you so much for coming on.
I hope you enjoyed your visit. An amazing pleasure. Thank
you so much. We were so glad you like the show.
In the podcast where we hope we we're trying to
just trying to make people giggle a little bit during
this wacky time. Yeah, you've done a great job. Than
thank you. I just want to I just wanted to
reiterate what Julius said when she asked her question. Zach,
(01:08:02):
Oh God, tonight, it's give me tonight, to give me
tonight tonight. It's all heard it here tonight. We don't
have a we don't have a movie. We've been watching
alone though. By the way, have you guys watched the
show alone? No, Zach, everybody's watch rewatching. Remember the Titans
will watch. I will watch the fucking movie. But I
(01:08:24):
just want you to know I'm giving a shower. First
of all, it's not a First of all, watch your
mouth when you talk about the Titans. Okay, first of all,
watch your mouth. Second, it's a classic, it's Disney and
it has a lot to do with what's going on
right now and your boys in it. Your homies in it,
your friends in it, you're your your your your compadre
(01:08:48):
is in it. Oh you sorry? I thought you meant like,
I know, den't sell or something. I'm gonna watch tonight.
But listen, you guys, I'm gonna give a shout out
to this Netflix show. It's called Alone and they put
these survivalists in the middle of the Ic and they
have to see how long they can survive with nothing,
and it's amusing. Doesn't sound better than Remember the Titans? Okay,
(01:09:08):
well they have no music that Julia and Noah would
dance to it at Noah's wedding. I can guarantee you
that that's really cool, man, that's really cool. You're still married,
I am. Yeah. So you know why because of the song?
Because of the song? Yeah. Um, all right, we gotta
wrap this up because we've been going a very long
(01:09:29):
time and we have to finish talking about the episode.
But thank you guys so much. We appreciate you, We
love you. Stay safe, stay healthy, and have a great
holiday weekend. People, Please give a big round of applause
to Julia and noahause Dan thundersupplause to them because they're
very nice people. Yeah, they were. How funny was my
pratfall when I reached for the dryer. I mean, come on,
(01:09:49):
that was glorious. You got skills. I mean, did you
see that? The arms went up like this, I fall
back the hand. I'm like, I've got mine. I'm trying
to dry my crotch on the hand drive and then
Kelso says something like you need to borrow that thing
dinner and uh, and then I follow who and my
arms go out. I was pretty proud of that one,
by the way. That was the JD fall noise. Oh okay,
(01:10:20):
that should be a ring tone. Everything. We're gonna make
everything a ring tone. Another one, another one, The best
ring tones were the best for the best ring tones.
Another one we dropped. Another one. How funny was when
(01:10:40):
Cox is screaming at me and I'm like, yeah, that
wouldn't happen nowadays with Corona. It was very funny. It
was funny though, and the way it was shot slow motion,
as I'm just like basking in a spittle. Now, then
there's this cool floating fantasy thing, very spikedly. Technique always
(01:11:02):
likely always has a moment in his movies where people
are sort of seemingly floating as though they're their feet
are on wheels, and we did that fantasy where it
seemed like everyone was floating around. It's always in a
one shot when they're walking down the street, so it's
like a it's like a cowboy. Well the cowboy is
cowboys to where the where your guns would be if
you were a cowboy. So it's it's what's above that
(01:11:25):
then like just above that, like above the waist you
could say waisty okay, so it's up. But Donald saw
him out for those you don't know, is like there's
all sorts of shot sizes, have of people of actors
have these nicknames. One of them is like if someone's
framing up a shot, they're like, oh, kind of give
me kind of a cowboy, and that means as you
(01:11:48):
frame up the actor have the shot hold hold where
it's kind of like back to the old school Western's
like make sure you can see if you know where
the cowboys guns would be, so you're wide enough to
see that low on the person's legs, right, So that's
that terminology. But he always does it so you can't
see the legs moving, but and you can see them
all just gliding and they're gliding right, So, and we
(01:12:08):
did that, and this we did something similar to that
in this episode. Right, I'm gonna be honest with you,
I can't skate, so somebody had to push me to
get me to get that movement going right. And then
on the other side, somebody had to stop me because
I couldn't stop myself. I'm a horrible skater. Well, some
of the actors, some of the actors I forgot which ones,
I'm assuming Ken was one of them, are on just
(01:12:30):
like low you know, platform dollies that are being pulled
on ropes to make them glide like that. And then
some of the actors who could be on rollerblades were
on rollerblades. Sarah, who was a good rollerblader, is the
one who sort of takes the turn. Yeah. I thought
it's a really cool shot the way it was, so
I don't think it cuts. I think it's a wonder
and I don't know it was. I thought it was
beautifully done by Adam Bernstein, who and directed our pilot. Yeah. Absolutely,
(01:12:55):
who actually gets a shout out who shows up in
the show in the second get uh car scene when
they're like, is this the same kid? Yeah? At seventeen
forty one. When it cuts to people reacting, there's a
scene of the hallway and Bernstein pops up, Yeah, Burnstein,
Adam Burnstein. If you if you're if you want to
see a hitchcocky and director cameo, he pops up. He's
(01:13:20):
the one on mcgourney. How about Todd going at fourteen
fifty four, you look totally hot mirror Todd. Yeah, and
then you're grabbing his love handles. Yeah, grabbing his love handles.
And then Sarah just having her bra out. That was scandalous.
That was very scandal Do you think that would that
would fly nowadays? And yeah, I mean it's funny, it's funny.
(01:13:42):
The bras is no different than a bathing suit, right,
especially if it's that kind of bra. But I just
it's the context, right. Our brains go, oh, this is
so risque because she's in her bra, but it's not
like it's showing any more than a bathing suit would, right,
don't you think? No? I agree with you one hundred percent.
You know what made me laugh really hard though, was
when I forget what you said, what you did, but
for some reason, somehow you got me in trouble with
(01:14:04):
Carla and I said to you tonight, I'm eating Mexican
and I'll see you in bench. Yeah, yeah, meeting. I'm
gonna be farting all night. Right. By the way, I
always had this idea of an invention that I'm now
going to give to the world to steal, although someone's
already stolen it. That someone makes a pill you take
and it changes the scent of your flatulence to something nice.
(01:14:28):
Is that possible? I didn't think it was. I wanted
to take it to Chris Socca, by billionaire friend, and say,
I have this great invention idea, let's develop it together.
And then I just saw on the internet today someone
was selling these chocolate pills and you supposedly eat the
chocolate pills and they make your flatulence smell like chocolate. Bullshit,
(01:14:50):
Google it, Google that shit. So this is my invention idea.
There were gonna be different flavors. You could have pol pourri,
you could have any any flavor you wanted, butterscotch, I
wouldn't mind. Yeah, what if somebody what flavor would you choose? Right,
that's a good question. If somebody farted, what smell would
(01:15:13):
you like to smell at them? Chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate
chip cookies is a good part smell, yeah, or um
or or onions and garlic in the pan. Nah? Well
that nah that that. I tend to stay away from
the savory and go for the sweet. Okay, I'll go
with them. Sort of a chocolate chip cookie fresh out
(01:15:35):
of the oven. Yeah, that sounds something nice. So this
was my idea. I had this idea. You know, I'm
sure everyone listening has an invention idea that they never
took action on, and then it eventually comes out and
you're like, damn it, that person's gonna get rich off
that invention idea. Well, mine was some sort of vitamin
or capsule that you swallow that scientifically eliminates the flatulen
(01:15:57):
smell and changes it to something else. And now I'm
only it's a thing. I'm gonna buy it and try
it and see if it works. I would like some
of it too. I'll give it to you for um,
I don't know, beliated Father's Day? Are you look at
the books I gave you at all? Don't put me
on a spot like that. You haven't you're putting me
on the spot with remember the Titans? Have you even
plants at the books I gave you. Have you even
plants at the motherfucker both I gave. Yeah, they're in
(01:16:19):
my bathroom. They're they're my bathroom reading. Okay, good, But
you just on your phone the whole time. They don't
want even open those books to you. Listen, man, I
want to know something. Are they on the floor? But
then when you're pulling, you just look at your phone?
Keep it real. I love Shay, all right, Shay. I
bought Donald your books because I thought that he would
(01:16:42):
like them. And I think that him looking on his
phone might be upstaging them and they might be on
his bathroom floor. I love Shay. Um. What about Jay
Johnny c McGinley smashing the guitar. I bet he loved
doing that. Yeah, that was one of those moments where
you could tell he was like, I'm like a fucking Colin.
Hey be here, steal here fucking singing this damn song.
(01:17:06):
I've heard it all week long, Give me the guitar,
and then he goes to town on it. He even
comes back around, He goes one side and then even
comes back around like with a backfist with the guitar
to Yeah. I bet that felt good though, I have
other songs. Yeah, and then Colin Hey goes, I have
other songs. I think they have places you can go
and you put on goggles so you protect your eyes,
(01:17:27):
and you take a bat and you can just like
wail on a car. I think a lot of us
need that nowadays. That would be nice, right, just to
break something, Yeah, just to break something and not have
consequences after you break it, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,
you know what they have in Vegas too. They have
I really want to do this with you when the
world opens back up. They have a place in Vegas.
You go and it's a giant, you know, construction site
(01:17:52):
type area and you can operate any of the giant
heavy machinery like bulldozers and cranes and wrecking balls and
like you could just the biggest construction equipment you've ever seen.
It's like a giant, enormous sandbox for adults. I imagine
that could be a lot of fun, but I imagine
it's also very dangerous. I couldn't imagine myself. But with
(01:18:15):
the wrecking ball, how fun would that be? Though? Dude,
we gotta do that. It would be fun at first,
and then when the wrecking ball comes back and hits
the fucking I'm sure. I be sure that they teach
you how to do it. I don't think they just
throw you in it and like good luck. You need
a license to use all of them. Obviously not everything's
off in Vegas. They're like they found a way around.
(01:18:35):
The funny thing is I think there's a bar, but
like you can only go to the bar after the fact.
This all sounds very sketches. I want to dig with you, dude.
I want to dig with you. I would We can
make something together, right, we could dig. Let's dig. I
(01:18:56):
want to make something with you. I want to know this,
what movies this? I want to be with you, guys.
Sixteen candles yea, it's easy, that's easy. Yeah, that's the
nerdy kid. The nerdy kid who doesn't want to go
to the doesn't want to go to and the parents
force him and he's They're like, they lock him in
the gym. They locked him in the gym. I want
to stay home with you, guys. I want to be
(01:19:16):
with you guys. All right, yo, you grabbing the pillow
at the end of the show when I leave. Yeah,
that's funny. So I feel whenever I part ways with you, Donald,
I want to clutch a pillow. I feel that way
all the time when well not all the time, but
when we part and we part ways, you want to
(01:19:36):
clutch a pillow. Not necessarily clutch a pillow, but I
still want that extra hug. We haven't Wow, we haven't
huh on that note, we that's the episode everyone we
have kicked off season two. We haven't hugged in a
long time. I know, I miss your touch. You always
have such a good I like a man who hugs tightly.
(01:20:00):
You know a lot of men do this bullshit because
they're insecure about their their their their sexuality or I
don't know what it is, but they do a they
do sort of a your groins can't be touching, and
they do they put the arm in between and then
they do a tap. They got a tap. That's not
how Donald and I hug. We get down there. No,
I like it when you fucking squeeze. Yeah. Randall Winston,
(01:20:20):
who we've had on the show Man's hugger, he's a
good hugs. You're just on the verge of almost hurting. Yeah,
it's almost a bear hug with d You want to
make sure you've taken a deep breath before you engage
with that, because because he's definitely knocking the wind out
of you. Yeah. Yeah, it's like it's like it's like
if you're going deep underwater, you just take a big
(01:20:40):
as breath. All right, Well, guys, we've kicked off season two.
Go get the ring tone. There's talk that we might
make it available with them and with out them and
just the mm yeah, and maybe we'll even make available
m um, we love you. This is fun where we're
happy to be back season two, Season two and affect.
(01:21:03):
Y'all stay safe. Wear a fucking mask, right Donald, listen,
I think tell them to wear a mask. I am
going to tell them to fucking wear a mask. But
I think I think what's going on is people are
looking at it as a control issue, and people are
(01:21:23):
trying to control you. Please don't look at it that way.
Look at it more like, even if you don't think
you're sick, there's still a possibility that you could be
and you're asymptomatic. And imagine being a young child who well,
you know, teenagers and young adults are the ones that
(01:21:44):
are getting this virus lot right now, and definitely can
pass it on to their parents, and they're the adult
figures in their life. And people above forty five aren't
faring well with this. So please Donald just turned forty six,
So please, please, please wear and wear a mask out
(01:22:07):
in public. Okay. That's that's the prescription from two fake
doctors who love you very much and care about your
health and safety. Donald's count of sin five six, seven,
eight stories about show we made about a bunch of
domes and nurses in jan I said, he's the stories
(01:22:28):
Natal sho so yeat around you. Here are get around you,
here are freeway. Show is m