210: My Monster

In this week's episode JD asks out the Gift Shop Girl while Dr. Cox tries to satiate Jordan's appetite for curly fries. In the real world, we're talking Beyoncé's Black is King, Donald's helicopter parenting, and the comedy panties Zach once gave to a co-star.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Joel, I've been watching you on Twitter all day, and
I am so happy that this Beyonce thing has come out,
because you seem like you're on ecstasy over there, just
telling Daniel. I've already seen it twice. I have plans
to watch it a third time. And I get off
work at seven today. I'm probably gonna be online with
some friends doing a live watch it is. Is it? Dope?

(00:20):
We haven't watched it yet. We're waiting. She's holding and
she's holding her eyes. Donald when you get to brown
scanning girls and you're holding your daughter and you're crying
because you're like, look at this gorgeous representation for my child.
It's so good. She should I should I watch it
with the kids or without the kids, because I know
she can be risk a children, so I always tell

(00:41):
parents to watch by themselves first. I have no idea
what appropriate the last record that she did where she
was in the thong the whole time and shaking her
booty the whole time. Like, I could watch it, but
I don't know if I want my my kids watching
that my baby's watching that this is a lot less
uh sexualized, because it's let me put it this way,

(01:02):
it's on Disney Plus. Okay, so it's it's you know,
the efforts have been removed from the content. Uh, there's
not a lot of assid titties out. I think it's
probably I don't know if I wore one viewer. I

(01:23):
love the Joel review. There's not a lot of acid
titties out Therefore, I should give us a lot of
body suits and uh two bikinis, which we appreciate her for.
I thank you. Um, it's just you gotta read. You
gotta read Joel's You gotta look at Joel's Twitter. It's like,
basically become a tribute. It's tribute to Beyonce. You created

(01:46):
an altar, you have a shrine. I don't have a
bedroom right now, but when I do, that will absolutely
be like a Beyonce photo. Joel's Twitter and smiling like
I'm so you know, when your friends are happy, you're happy.
And I was holding my heart for Joel this morning.
It's like this woman, this woman is one of happy
human being. When did dropped last night at midnight or

(02:08):
this morning at midnight? No, I tried, but I was
tired and I took my edible at the time I
normally take it and then I was like, well that
is I have a question. Um, it's a music video
movie kind of thing, is what it is. It's called
a visual album. So every so inonce released The Lion

(02:28):
King basically album, Uh it was great. So this is
every single song off of the album gets a music video.
But it tells like an overarching story. But there's not
like a lot of dialoguees tpping between, so it's not
like it's worth visual storytelling, right. This is the music
from The Lion King, the music the album she did
for The Lion King, so it's not like a Kuna matata.
It's all I would have tuned in if it was

(02:51):
like but the you it sound Italian but list but
last melis me or Melisa so ridiculous. It's cool because

(03:12):
she got like a bunch of like artists like from
South Africa, Ghana. I know it is well represented, I
think Nigeria. So it's not just artists, but producers get
features on their dancers. So it's like, is Drake on it? Amazing?
Drake is not on this album. Kendrick Lamar is on
the album. Is on the album. It's always interesting to

(03:34):
see what rappers Beyonce is gonna put on her record because,
believe it or not, lyrically, she's she could take them
all down pretty much. When when Beyonce sings and puts
it into rap form or chat form, it's a rap

(03:55):
for a lot of these cats. She's very slick with
her with her lyrics the question, and a lot of
it could be because she's married to jay Z, but
she writes her own stuff. Man, it's not anybody else
writing it. That was my question. I didn't want to
be yelled at by either one of you, but I
want to know if she writes her own lyrics, absolutely, absolutely, yes, Yeah,

(04:16):
she's one of those people. Uh. You know, we talked
about it back in the day. My wife used to
work with Destiny Child and all of that stuff, and
worked on the first Crazy and Love record and Eyes
her her her cousin is Teresa Laba Bara White, right,
and she was the person who helped find uh and

(04:39):
and nurture Destiny Child and Beyonce, and you know, she's
done a lot of the musical production for her. I
don't know if she worked on this album, but she
might have worked on this album. I'm not sure, but
she but my my wife is her cousin. And so
when my wife first moved to Alish, she worked for Teresa.

(05:02):
And I remember one time I went to meet Beyonce
and I brought my wife with me, like I'm going
to introduce my wife to Beyonce, and Beyonce ran by
me and was like, yeah, so Joel's now one degree separation.
So uh, when she was working on the Crazy and

(05:24):
Love record, you know, she could take a c D
and throw that thing in the pro tools, like take
somebody's thing and throw it in the pro tools and
start working on it and create her own music off
of it. Like there's the dude from, uh, what's the
name Ryan from what's the name of that band? Too
Late to bolot Jack, It's too late Tatter something like that.

(05:46):
What's the name of the band? One Republic? Holding on?
Ryan Ta Ryan Tatter with an R right. I said Ryan,
I said Brian. I said Ryan, You said Ryan. I
was um. Anyway, he said when he wrote the song,
I'm not sure if it's Halo or one of these songs.

(06:07):
It was completely different once Beyonce got ahold of it,
Like he wrote a song and it was completely different
after she got it for the better, Like she's one
of those people that's like, oh, that's what you're doing.
I'm gonna add to it. Let me create something to it,
and it turns out to be fire. So you know,
when it comes to writing her own lyrics. Yes, Beyonce
is up in there now. I gotta ask my wife

(06:27):
if it's okay to tell this story. Your wife doesn't
listen to the program, so she'll be fine. How is everybody?
How are you doing? What are we doing this weekend?
What are you drinking? What's happening? What's going on? This
is a fizzy drink. Yeah, it's a it's a logger.

(06:47):
It's tasty. A lot of people were weighing in on
our last episode saying that Bourbon is a whiskey Donald
because you had mentioned I said, are you having whiskey?
And you said no, it's bourbon, So you know, okay,
So Bourbon's a whiskey. Yeah. I think Bourbon's a whiskey.
But it's only made in Kentucky? Is that right? Anybody?
I forgot what the guy said. I just like the

(07:09):
people that I listen. Our fans and listeners are so
passionate about the show that they a lot of people
weigh in and the nine percent of it's positive. I
love that. I love that there's a few negative. Oh yeah.
I had a woman today. I had to laugh because
she was like, um, you guys are getting way too

(07:29):
much off topic from the show. And then it was
like dot dot tight, dot dot dot might have to
stop listening. And I was like, oh, ship, Susan from Duluth,
what the funk are we gonna do if you leave
my It was like it was like a warning. She
was like giving us a little warning like stay on

(07:50):
topic or dot dot dot might have to stop listening.
I had one guy say to me something like, oh great,
you're gonna talk about how you don't remember any of
your lines? Can't wait? Yeah, well, I believe it was
the poet Taylor Swift to one said haters are going
to hate hate hate hate, hate hate hate. Yes, that

(08:12):
was the poet Taylor. So, by the way, that album,
I'm just saying I went on a walk today and
have you been listening to I've only listened to the
first two songs. Those are my two favorite songs. But
I always do that too whenever it's a new album.
I like fall in Love with two songs and just
play them NonStop and then don't even ever go to
the other songs. But I went I went on a

(08:32):
walk today with my doggie, and I went a little deep,
and I wanted to tell you another good one I found.
It's called um seven. Have you heard that one? It's good,
beautiful song. I like. I like the first two songs.
The one good. The Bonnie Bear song is not the
first two. You need to branch out to that one,

(08:53):
the one and then the one that comes after it
is banging. And now I'm looking forward to Beyonce tonight
because you know what asked when I'm gonna be watching
you know, do you think you and your wife might
be intimate because of Beyonce's sexy music video movie. I
am going to uh seduce the crap out of my wife. Well,

(09:14):
maybe the sexy Beyonce video will get her all wrong
by ripping her clothes off of her. We don't mean,
we don't need to know what your role playing. I'm
going to seduce my wife tonight by taking all of
her clothes off of her. Your wife looks really good,
I have to say. She's working on her She looks fire. Yeah,

(09:34):
she's so inside and outside, she's working on herself. And
so what you're what you're seeing is that glow. I'm
seeing that glow you married. Well, she is one. I
hope it's okay that I say she is one. Foxy Mama. Yeah,
that's fine. She's I don't own her, she's just my wife. No,
but I don't want to be disrespectful. But I'm I'm
here to tell you that she's hot. Okay. I'm sure

(09:58):
there are other people out there that field the same
way they do. They do you know what she tells
me When I'm like, but there are people that feel
the same way about me, honey, She's like, no, they
don't know. Nobody wants you. Wants you, please, baby, baby,
baby please, Like She'll be like, you think JAYL wants

(10:21):
you really really well? You got you did think that
Brittany wanted you. We could tell the story, but no,
I don't want to know if you want to edit
it out or not. But we might have to edit it.
You could choose to edit out. But all I know
is Donald thought Brittany wanted her. Brittany did want me.
Hold on and come on, buddy, did you hold on? Dude?

(10:44):
She would send dudes over, like dancers over to the
table when we would be out and be like, Brittany
wants to talk to you, and I'd be like, what
they like, Brittany wants to talk to you, And yere's
your Murphy. Who are we talking about? Spears? Wow? Iconic?
And I was. But I was dating my wife at
the time, so I would be like, So I said

(11:05):
to my wife, I was like, babe, she should give
me just let me get the let me get the
let me get to go out on a date with her.
I'm not gonna I don't do anything. I just want
to go out on the date to be like yo.
And then afterwards we could talk about the date and
what happened on the date and where she and I
went and what we didn't. He right, like, your girlfriend's
gonna be like okay, as long as just the date.
She was like, absolutely not, and I was like right.

(11:29):
And so one night, one night, Brittany kind of crossed
the line. Like we were out and about and we
were at Hide and Brittany was out with like all
of her dances and she was just coming back with
circus and it was about to like it was it
was about to pop right, and uh, well right now,

(11:50):
Circus Circus Circus is a dope ass record, dude, it's
a record, dude. She was looking great right, and my
wife was with me and she sent somebody over and
was like, Brittany wants you to come over and say hi.
And I was like, okay. My wife was like, yeah,
let's go over there. So we walk over there, let's
go over and I was like, Hi, I'm his I'm

(12:11):
his girlfriend. I'm his girlfriend. And I was like, yeah,
that's my girlfriend. Anyway. Anyway, Donald, I think a lot
of women want you. I think a lot of men
want you. Think I agree with that. I disagree with
the women want you. Have a lot of gay suitors
on the I feel like that I have a very

(12:32):
you know, handsome and uh, I think it's I do
have a nice but that's true, let's do. But it's
like a shell, you know, if you it's like a
unit you could hang on the wall. I feel like
I feel like I feel like you and I both
go on are friends, and our friendship is very uh

(12:58):
inspiring to a lot of men out there, and so
it's only right that a lot of our fans are
boys because we can teach boys how to love each
other like this. That's and listen. I think this next
generation is going to try way more things obviously. I mean, um,
you know we were it was so taboo to experiment

(13:20):
when when we were growing up, And now I think
every all these young people are just like, all right,
let me try everything, you know, like, let me see
what's for me, what's for me and what's not for me. Yeah. Um,
you know, I think that's. I mean, if I'm not mistaken,
you guys can correct me if I'm wrong. The women
are are are more free to do that already, and
I feel like the men are behind them. I think

(13:41):
like young, sexually active young people will be more experimental
in years to come. Right, Joel, why do you look
at me like I'm crazy? No, I'm not sorry, lost
in the thought of my own but yeah, well, well
try and have the edible. Try to have the edible

(14:02):
when the show's over. Smoke on the job good? Who
does you don't? Yeah, sometimes I'll be baked on this ship.
I'm not well, it's not on camera, so I assume
that you were high sometimes, but it doesn't seem to

(14:23):
mess up your performance because you're very entertaining, except sometimes
when you can't finish your sentence. That only happens when
I've drank too much or not drink too much. You
can have one. Like when I started getting like tongue
tied and stuff like that, it's because I might have
There was a funny moment in the last episode where
you went on this long ass thing and I go, well, said,

(14:49):
I'm in a good mood today. I gotta say, good,
you're happy. If this were a normal environment and the
world wasn't ending, we would you and I would be
going to the beach and skip down the sand together.
That's what we would do. I don't know. I'm trying
to think of. Like if I could do anything with
you this weekend Disneyland, disney Man, I would say, Donald, No,

(15:12):
I give him Mickey. He knows not what he does. Oh,
by the way, I saw the socks. You're gonna want,
you know, the company Stance. Of course, I'm gonna give
them a free plug right now. Um. They have Empire
Strikes Back socks, a whole box of them. Yeah. I
have a lot of Stance Star Wars socks, I know,
but if you look. I was online last night looking

(15:33):
for new Socks and stance if you want to send
me songs. But anyway, they have a whole Empire Strikes
back box set, and I was like, I would send
this to Donald, but you know what's gonna happen. I
would send this link and he won't reply. That's because
I would be on the link buying the stuff. These
are the things that way Brocking text you with like

(15:54):
nine th and you don't remember sleep at like your
wife's up, because I'll text Casey and he replies and
this is we're talking about like some some ship and
you like, I got no, and I got you. Keep
you're asleep going on over. Here's the here's the thing
about me and my wife. My wife likes to stay
up late and wake up late. I like to go

(16:15):
to bed early and get up early. So you take
the kids like cracko dawn when they get up. When
they wake up, I'll go downstairs with them. The problem
is sometimes I get involved in watching television with them
and uh they get to make them breakfast and stuff.
Show comes and be like have the kids eating? And

(16:36):
I'll be like, uh, they were supposed to eat. Can't
they feed themselves? Come on, they need to get at it.
Cereal a bowl, pour some milk. Listen, it's not that
they cannot feed themselves, because they can. I'm sure they
can just put the cereal on the table. I want
to watch. I need to. I need to watch them though.
That's my only thing. Man Like, Uh, it's there are

(16:58):
a lot of people out there who have experienced this.
But when you watch your kid choke on something, it's
very scary and so therefore you know, And I'm not
saying that cereal can't do it, but I just would
prefer to be around them when they eat. Like my
kid goes, I'll be in the other room eating. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
no no. Uh really, you gotta watch him eat. I

(17:18):
get crazy. Look, dude, it took us forever to helicopter.
You're a helicopter parent. I am a helicopter. Yes, I
hover over my kids. You are. I send a lot
of life lifelines down even when they don't need it. Chopper,
Blue Thunder, Blue Thunder apache that badass Chopper. No, I'm

(17:39):
Blue Thunder from the movie or air Wolf. I'm air Wolf.
I'm Blue Thunder or air Wolf. What's the big military
um black Hawk? I'm a black hawk. Yeah, you're a
black hawk. I'm a black hawk. You are a black hawk.
I'm a black hawk, and I will, but you can
unleash the thunder if you mess with my family. That's

(17:59):
how I feel about it. And so I will chop
the ship out of some food. I will chop the
ship out of some food. Chop up cheerios chios and
chop them up. I will let him sit in the
in the milk a little bit longer before I give
them to the kids. Parent you are you let the
cheerios get soggy, and you're like, you may eat now.

(18:20):
You can't eat these. I don't have to worry about
them scratching your throat on the way down. I can't
help it, man, I can't help it. I love my
kids so much it's ridiculous, and I love them so much.
Like I sometimes at night I'll be in my bed
and I'll just be thinking about my kids, and I
will have spent the day with these little fuckers, you
know what I mean, Like these kids are bad sometimes,

(18:41):
and even after they're bad, I'm in bed at night,
Like you know, I love that little ship head. That
little fucker was so mean to me. Today. But I
wouldn't trade it in for the world like it really is.
That's sweet. I can't wait to have a little little
children one that they change your life. Should we get

(19:04):
into the show? Yes, I think that's a good note.
Do you want to count us hit into America's favorite song? Five? Six, seven, eight?
Stories about show? We made about a bunch of nurses
and stories. So get around here, yeah, around here, m m.

(19:35):
This is such a good episode. It is a good episode.
The only problem I have with it is the outline
of the episode, like the outline of the episode that
I have to do. I went away and I was
gonna write some stuff down my still couldn't an attempt
at it, because what's my first attempt at it? Well,
it's my second attempt. We had a misfire with Johnny
C and now this is your second past. This is

(19:55):
your first opportunity to do it again. Okay, well it's
not gonna work, but I'm gonna do it anyway. But
I did, as you know, I all watch I watched this.
But this tell me when you're rolling, hold on, let
me get my time, are ready? Tell me when you're
going and go? This episode is about sex and relationships
and the workplace. Really, at the workplace, it's hard to

(20:18):
maintain relationships, and especially after work, it's hard to maintain relationships.
J D and Elliott in this episode find each other
in the end because really they don't have anyone else.
And it's all because it's very difficult to work long
hours and maintain a lifecds. But it's not your finest work.

(20:39):
But it's the truth. And that's what this episode was about.
Just it was meandering. It was like this episode because
it's hard to write about sex and and and relationships,
because that's what this episode is really, you know what
I mean. It's about it's like you got to do
one of these every year, we gotta do a sex
and relationship episode, and how it's tough to do it
at in the workspace and year. I might be so

(21:01):
bold to say Donald, it's Donald, right. I might be
so bold to say that this is the biggest sex
scene that we I did the whole run. You guys
get hot and heavy in this. We do we do
And I remember shooting it. We shot it a long
time and I remember shooting it, going are we going
to air this like this? Like they didn't They cut

(21:22):
some stuff out because we were like just going at
it like this was like full on, like we were
kind of just hooking up, right. It was like we're
gonna pay you too to hook up with each other. Yeah,
I mean, I know it's acting, but it wasn't. I mean,
we were acting. We weren't like in a relationship, but
I mean you saw what you see is like we
did that for like a full day and they only

(21:42):
cut some of it out. I remember thinking, like we
were just going out and I was like, they're not
going to air all of this on on NBC. But
you know, we're like mass grabbing and I'm kissing her
breasts and we're just like dump, You're like grabbing her.
Not only are you grabbing her, as you're grabbing like
a cheek and then inside the cheek. Like it's not
just the out you don't grab the outside cheek, you
grab the inside cheek. And like this is like some

(22:06):
straight up, you know, soft core Skin a Max stuff. Yeah,
it was totally Skin a Max. If you saw that
on Skin a Max, you'd be like, oh, I'm watching
skin watching Skin a Max tonight. Even the way the
show opens up with uh with Turk and Carlam making
out and how wet that is of a kiss, like
the kisses are super wet and juicy. It was a

(22:27):
sexual episode. It was sexually charged. You in the bathtub
with gift shop girl. Yea, God, Sarah Lancaster, what a
beautiful gal. I gotta say. And um, I just as
I said with the Johnny C episode, I have been
so stressed my libido was zero. Have you have I
been so stressed that my libido was zero? Yeah? No,

(22:47):
that doesn't happen to you, doesn't know. I don't think no,
because you just have like a magaabido. Well, anyway, I
personally want to get into this right now because we
could totally get into this right now. Well, I mean
I personally, and I'm sure there's listeners out there, like
if I'm directing and I'm stressed, or I've got like
family drama, or my brain is not thinking about sex,

(23:09):
my libidos is zero? Um, And I think that's what's
happening with j D in this episode. He's he's, uh, wait,
why are you shaking your head? I disagree? Okay, can
I finish my thought? It's donald right my um uh,
he's got the thought of his sick patients and the
and the wounds that they have on them he's got.

(23:29):
He's preoccupied, of course, with leftover feelings from Elliott. We
established he hasn't hooked up in in in a while
with with anybody, and now he has arguably one of
the prettiest girls that was ever on Scrubs in front
of him and he's got nothing going on. Now, you
can't just say it's because oh, he's obsessed with Elliott.
That's bullshit. A knockout of a woman like that in

(23:49):
front of him would still turn him on if his
brain was present in the moment um. She initiates a
kiss with him, and he's and he has nothing happened,
So his brain is somewhere and he gets really um
anxious about it, as I'm sure many men do when
they go, oh my god, what's wrong with me? Why? Why? Why?
Why is nothing working with the fuck? What I liked

(24:10):
about this episode that it didn't it didn't make that
a taboo subject men can't talk about, because um, I
think it is a taboo subject that menfield they can't
talk about. Now, I would have at least given it.
I would have at least given it another shot I
would have been like, Okay, it's not happening here. Maybe
we should go back to my place and try it,
or maybe we should go back to your place and
try again, and if it doesn't happen, they'd be like, okay,

(24:31):
well maybe we should try again at the door before
I leave, Let's try one more time. But that didn't work.
Why don't you walk me to the car. I think
we should try one last time, because that is some
bulls ship. I'm very with you. I don't think there's
any world in which j D would not have continued
to try and hook up with Sarah Lancaster's character Gift

(24:52):
Shop Girl, especially after one hour or two hour date,
however long the date was. He went to kiss her
good night and realize that the good night kiss, oh
I can't, it's not gonna work. She was the aggressor.
She was like kiss me, and then she is talking
about his erection. She's like, oh is that a Is
that a roll of quarters in your pocket? Are just

(25:14):
having a good time? And he's like, actually it's a
roller quarters laundry day? Yeah? Bullshit, yeah bull that's what
were you going to say about libido? You were saying
because I know that you have a very strong labido.
You I I. I. Let's phrase this tactfully. You are
a man who can't be satiated. Why you can't be satiated?

(25:36):
What does that mean? That means there's never come a
time where you've had enough sex in a day where
you go, you know what, I'm good, correct, I have
no I love my wife tremendously and I've learned to

(25:57):
curb my appetite when it comes to that, and I
try my hardest to not make her feel like a
piece of meat in the house. But um, but you
can't be citiated. I think my wife is fine, dude.
Like she's sexy to me, Like her curves, everything about
her is sexy to me, you know what I mean.
And it's a little you know, it might be a
little too much for her, but it's the truth. It's

(26:18):
the honest, goodness truth. She is. You know, she is
everything I've ever wanted in a woman before I knew
what I wanted in a woman. It's like, you know,
now I know what I wanted a woman, and she's
everything that I've wanted in a woman. Like you know,
you have dreams when you're a kid, Well, it feels
like she was the girl of my dreams, you know
what I mean, And and and now I got her,

(26:39):
and you know, I want to know. I know. But
what I'm saying is, I'm not I'm not negating anything.
I think that's wonderful. And I'm not negating anything you're saying.
I'm saying it's impressive libido wise that at you don't.
You don't ever go Okay, I'm that's enough for me

(27:01):
for the day. No, I don't. I don't, And you're right,
it's it is unfair. I don't think that. I don't
think that. That's a very very very very strong libido. Yes,
yeah we do. Can we get that on a T
shirt for the merch Donald phase on, I have a
very very very strong libido. Another one, another one. It's

(27:26):
gonna with this ring tone, Joel, we can't get the
new the people are clamoring for. For what you're talking about,
what you're trying to get into a day of shooting song.
It's a slow moving train. This uh, this, this ring
tone train trying to give the people what they desire.
They also want, Donald and I saying another one, well
that we don't own Another one though, I think we're

(27:49):
allowed to say another one. No, because we're just doing
DJ Khaled, Man, should we don't ask g J Collin
and see if we're allowed to use it? Are you
going to do it in the aeron nubble voice of course? Okay, yes,
we should ask j J out DJ Khalid. Would you
be upset if we used another one? I'm not at
all Donald, you can you use it kind of time?
You're like, I'm not fun it's your host to use.

(28:14):
I don't know how much, but you can you see?
Oh my god? Oh Man. Actually, I really hope that

(28:35):
I know, but I hope we're not the only ones
that think that such funny. I don't. I really actually
hope that the four of us are the only ones. No,
it's impossible. It's impossible. It's funny, Zack DJ Khalid impression.
I listen, listen. There's no one else in the world
who does a DJ call it impression like that, and
I think it's unique to the show. Talking about the episode,
we should go to break or something. What's going on, Joels,

(28:57):
Break will probably be good? All right. I need to
cool down from all the talk of Donald Flubido. He
cannot be satiated. Listen, gentlemen, we'll be right back, while
Donald attempts to satiate himself. No, no, no, no, we'll
be right back. Yeah, let's get an episode. It's a

(29:22):
very good episode. I like it a lot. I like
it a lot too. I wondered about that, and you
already touched on it and and pretty much answered the question.
That had to be a hard scene to shoot, regardless
of regardless of what you're doing in the scene, that
had to be one of those things where it's like
we're kissing again. No, it wasn't like that. I mean well,
I mean listen, sex sex sex scenes are are you know,

(29:45):
can be awkward and um, particularly awkward if you don't
have a chemistry with the person and you don't feel
a genuine vibe. Um. I think Sarah and I loved
each other and we're crazy about each other, and we
were like best friends, just like you and I were. Um,
I think it's safe to say we were genu really
attracted to each other. I think that came across in
the show. So, um yeah, making out for a full day,

(30:06):
Um was it times awkward but also at times fun.
That's my answer to that. That's really interesting. You know,
I've I've been an actor for a really long time.
I don't think I've ever had makeout sessions for a
full day while working as an actor. I've done kissing
scenes and I might have like maybe one or two

(30:27):
like comedy sex scenes, but I don't have any genuine
like makeout. I had another one. I know, you have
a you have a bunch of a bunch of them.
I had a few in this show. But with Rachel Bilson,
I was almost Yeah, that was like my like softcore
porn moment. First has to be nerve racking, though, Like
there's so Rachel and I bolted shots of booze on

(30:49):
that one because we were nervous, I bet, because that
was supposed to be like the this was like at
least comedic, and you know it's NBC Last Kisses are
and it's supposed to be this like erotic, you know,
the height of the of the movie. We we like,
I go and we we just have this like intense,
crazy sex scene in her dorm room and uh and

(31:12):
that was that was Yeah, I think I was nerve wracking.
That's why we did shots to to to to calm
the anxiety. I couldn't imagine doing something like that, like
the I remember doing weight in the Exhale and it
was the scene where the girls performing oral sex on
me and you don't really you don't even see the
girl doing it. But I was just so nervous. I'm
in my underwear, I have a throng on, you know

(31:33):
what I mean. We're in a room that's not air conditioned,
so now I got musk coming from the areas of
my body where musk forms. Did you put a little
um deodorom on your ball sick? No? I didn't put No,

(31:53):
I didn't. I didn't do that, but you know what
I mean. It's just like I was being so nervous
and she's there, and it's like, what the how does this?
You know? This is not this? This doesn't feel comfortable.
And then somebody breaks into the door and you got
cameras in your face and you gotta pull your pants
like it's all it's it's just also uh, And so

(32:15):
I was wondering, like how it would have been nerve
racking for me to have to do that for a
full day. That's just me. Um. Yeah. The bills in
one was that this was hot. This was like fun,
and I think that Sarah and I would say it
was awkward, of course, but but we had fun, you know,
I had to do. I was in a play with
with Ari Grainer, and the joker was that I was

(32:36):
going down on her in the play and there was
covers over me, and the joke of the play is
that she's so bored and so not into whatever. My
technique is that she's she's above the covers reading a
book and and she's and she's like going, oh, yeah,
that's great, keep going, and she doesn't know. Now in
the play, I'm supposed to be like my head like

(32:58):
bopping around under under there, and so like eight shows
a week, she's in her underwear and I'm down there
like anxious from her business, and I'm like, my head
is supposed to be bouncing around but strategically not touching anything.
And for opening night, as a joke, I gave her
um this pair of underwear that had the scene printed

(33:20):
on in white on the groin of the under in
case I ever In case I ever forgot my lines,
I could just read it off. And she laughed so
hard at that, And then we did the whole run
of the show and on closing night. I got down
there and she was wearing them in the hilarious, hilarious, hilarious.

(33:45):
All right, now, I think it's we should talk about
this wonderful moment of me washing Rowdy in the bathtub.
I think of all the scrubs gifts that are on
the interwebs, this is my favorite one is j D
forlornly washing Rowdy in the tub. I think that's that's
what I often send to people. Now. It's it's a
metaphor also, though, isn't it isn't it supposed to be

(34:06):
Jad's not doing anything tonight, but he's gonna wash the
dog in the tub, meaning he's gonna master be Yes. No,
I didn't get that at all. I think it's like
then when he gets in the tub with gift shop girl,
Rowdy's still in there. Well, the joke is like, oh,
I know what we're gonna do tonight. We're gonna wash Rowdy.

(34:27):
Like he turns it into something. I didn't think of
it as a metaphor rowdy meaning we're gonna wash. Oh,
I didn't think of that at all. I think that's no, Well,
you have the little bitness mind. I think it's by
the way I have forgotten is that a word liitness? Yeah,
libitness is It's not like deservant, the one you made
up the other day. Deserving is real. Deserving is not
looked it up. It's it's a movie. It stars that's divergent. Divergent,

(34:56):
Oh my god. By the way, for no memory that
there's a bonus fart joke scrubs man, Scrubs loves a
good fart joke. I had forgotten how many there are
in this show. We're so fucking childish. But I did
giggle when when all of a sudden in the tub
you here like blurp, and then when I go rowdy.

(35:17):
All right, how about this really low budget version of
the hospital as a monster? Like no offense to whoever
did it, but like that's the best effect we could
muster up with our budget of of the hospital turning
into a monster. It didn't look bad. All that happens
is like it turns green and like fire comes out
of the entrance. But until it turned green, you don't

(35:38):
see a monster, you know what I mean? Like once
it turned green, like you could see the eyes, you
see where the mouth is, Like everything kind of took
shape when they did that, So yeah, it's a look
like that looked like a student film. I feel like, well, again,
this was twenty years ago, and now it's easier to
do that. You know, you can do it on your iPhone.
Now you can probably do it on your iPhone with

(35:58):
an app. But I just I was like, this is
supposed to be like a central character of the episode,
that the hospital is like a big evil monster, and
I just thought it was a little low budge. Well,
no offense, Bill, I know that the money was going elsewhere.
M yeah, Rob Maschio's thongs. Did you laugh? When I
go to hit on gift shop growing and I go

(36:19):
dry spell prepared to be moistened, oh gosh, And she goes,
j D, I can't give you gum, which means that
j D often tries to get free gum from her right,
which means j D often tries to talk to her right.
But he's never hit on her. He's never asked her
out until today. Today is the day, because Judy says,

(36:39):
doesn't she say, when's the last time you got laid
or something? Carl, So he feels like, okay, you know what,
I'm not out there, I'm not hitting on anyone. I'm
not asking one dates. I'm gonna ask this girl out
on a date. Do you believe in that? I believe?
Do you believe in relationships at work? I think if
you're someone who you know, if you're a doctor, and
I mean obviously goes without saying, one needs to be

(37:01):
appropriate and uh and and respectful in all in all
the ways one should be. But I think if you
solely work in a hospital and that's where of your
life is, and there's a beautiful girl who works at
the gift shop, there's nothing wrong with asking about a date. Absolutely,
I agree. I The only thing that I worry about
is when it when it all comes down and you
break up and the awkwardness between Like some people are

(37:25):
really good about it and some people are not. Like
I'm one of those cats. Like I'm one of those
cats that I can't really tell you how many ex
girlfriends of mine I'm friends with, you know what I mean.
And it's not because we just stopped. It's not because
I don't want to be friends with him. It's just
that we're not dating anymore. So why I think it

(37:46):
becomes mostly becomes inappropriate for your next partner, Like you
might You might still shoot the ship on text with
with someone you dated and it's good. But then when
you when you get to be committed to somebody new,
I think it can be disrespectful if you're still chatting.
That's my take on it. But a lot of people are.
I don't know about you guys, but a lot of
people still shoot the ship with their exits. Do you
think JDN Gifts Shop girl still shot the ship after this? Uh? No?

(38:10):
Is she had another one though? Don't? I just she
and more? I thought she was in the next episode,
but but I don't and look it up. I think
she did more than one. Sara, I think it was
just one. Um. She does a lip bite, which made
me think of the founder of the sexy lip bite,
which was Alicia Silverstone. No one, no one did a

(38:32):
lip bite. I want to have Alicia on the podcast
to talk about the founding of the lip bite. I
don't know if she founded the lip bite. In my
mind as a as a teenager, I didn't know what
a lip bite was until I saw a teenager. You
want a teenager when you saw Alicia Silverstone, I'm talking
how well remember those Arrowsmith videos that was maybe a

(38:54):
year before Clueless came out. Joel, can you look up
when the first Arrows video with a with a lip
biting Alicia Silverstone? You had to well, anyway, who cares
cares if I was fifteen or I was twenty? They were,
they were. I'm just saying, you want kid. It's well
documented that I had a crush on Alicia Silverstone and

(39:17):
uh and she was a great lip biter. You know, Donald,
do you want to get back into the well we're
moving on? Oh yeah, so um so yeah you we
we talked about this at length in the last episode,
but you do. You don't last very long, right and um,

(39:37):
because you're tired. I don't get it, you're tired or what.
I think it's because he's tired. I think he's tired
and he wants to Uh. Crying came out in ninety three.
What you were? What you did? You graduated? I graduated
high school? I was eighteen. I was eighteen. Alicia Silverstone
was my crush and she was throwing lip bites left
and right. I think we can get Alicia. I think

(40:00):
we can because we're both friends with her. Let's get
her on the podcast. I know she has knowing you
with Scrubs. But we could do a little side thing
that's like just talking Clueless. We can talk Aerosmith videos
if she's down to do it. Yeah, we could totally
get I mean I she was just in my short film.
She's an awesome person. Netflix. It's a perfect time. You
guys don't even at leasa. Silverstone was my background through

(40:22):
most of college. I'sha Silverstone. Listen, we haven't gotten into
it yet. Clueless was everything to me as a young baby.
Finding this from Donald, my god, obsessed with Clueless, Obsessed
the opening set alone with the rotating closet, like peek please,
gonna please, sort of stuff. She can't talk, talk that,

(40:43):
she's tongue tied, she can't talk. She's fan herself as usual. Goods.
You know, this is like three Joel fanning herself moments
for this episode. Already a lot of fandoms today. All right, Donald,
I'm I'm putting out there. Yeah, Texture, because this is
my idea. We go listen. As you know, we both

(41:03):
love you and we both talk about you a lot.
Why not have you come on and we'll do it.
We'll do a digression from Scrubs and we'll talk about
clueless and we'll talk about the Aerosmith videos. Well, this
is exciting, ladies and gentlemen. I know, I can't. I
I don't see why Alicia would say no, because the
only person she loves more than Donald Phazon is me,
and we're gonna make it happen. I just don't understand

(41:25):
why she'd be on the show. But yeah, absolutely, this
is why she'd be on the show. You are in
like many people's favorite comedy of that era, and we
happen to know the star. Um. And she was also
one of my biggest cut shoes, and she invented the
lip bite. And she was the star of my short

(41:45):
film with Ms. Florence Pugh in the Time It Takes
to Get There, which if you haven't watched, you should
go watch on YouTube right now. Um, tell me you
didn't laugh. Tell me you didn't laugh when I said, babe.
You know, I get nervous when you start chatting. Yeah,
that was funny. He's a good man. He's a good man.
He's a good man. Baby. You know, I get nervous

(42:06):
when you start chatting. Right, how about with them? How
about when you go player, hold knee down? Yeah, do
you remember where that came from. No, you and I
used to say that to each other in real life,
but I don't know what the origin was. I don't
know what the origin was either. That's why I just
asked you, do you know where that came from? Bill
put it in the show. We put it something that. Yeah,
that's something that we came up with. The down Yeah

(42:30):
you made that up because I don't even know what
that means. Hold me down player? Oh now I know
what that does? It mean? Like keep it real? Yeah,
man means hold me down, man, supporter. Brother, you were
the one who was teaching me the cool kids expressions.

(42:51):
Remember when I told you came in and you said
the new thing is? What was it? That one? I
told you that's what's up. That's what's up, and you've
stuck with what's up a long time. Yeah, that's what's up. Yeah,
I'll be like Donald Dobbly, Like Donald, you want to
get to there to night, that's what's up. Um. Now,

(43:14):
what's funny when the janitor is reaching his hand into
the candy machine? Um. For those of you don't are
in the business, there's this thing called greeking, which means
you can't show a brand without permission from the brand,
and and so they do this thing where they disguise
all of the all of the labels, which is tricky
if you're showing a full candy machine. But if you
go look at the episode, there's all this really weird

(43:36):
greeking that was done probably by our friend Patrick Bolton,
where it's like there'll be a Snicker's bar and then
like they'll just have like it looks like something like
there's a leaf or something stuck in front of the
label in front to mask it. Yeah, go back and
look at it. Every single label is just weirdly disguised

(43:57):
so you can't see that. I mean it's obviously a
Nikers or a kick Out or whatever, but like the
labels are quote unquote greeked. That's what they could thought
they were greeked in ways like the they would take
sharpies and connect things or that's what they often do.
But maybe Patrick was late to the day that I
need a leaf, I'll go outside. It almost looks like
it almost looks like it's either a leaf. A leaf

(44:18):
would make no sense. It's like brown cardboard or something
that's been cut to like hide the labels. Sorry, just
a little behind the scenes weirdness. Shout out Patrick Bolton. Yeah,
Patrick Bolton, who was the onset dresser. Now, for those
of you don't know, the onset dresser is the guy who,
when you're shooting, is constantly moving stuff around the d pels. Say,
the cinematographer will say, hey, can you move that painting?

(44:40):
It's giving me a glare and he's like, I'm on it,
and then he'll move it and hey, this table needs
to go because we need to put the camera here,
and he moves it, and uh. They're they're the ones
that are responsible for anything that the art department has
going on in the set during the actual shoot. I
used to love how we used to make fun of
Patrick because Patrick was always around and you always would
have to set the clock or or one of their

(45:02):
main responsibilities is setting the clock in the room because
there's ever a clock in this in the set. They
don't you don't want it to move, so they don't
have batteries in them otherwise that they will never match.
So then they have to talk to the script supervisor
and say, okay, what time is it? What time is
it in the day in the world of the show.
And then he was always usually a one man band,
which was hard. So he figured out a way to

(45:23):
have put wheels on everything. So so we made up
a song for him. Do you remember, it's me specialty
dealing with clocks and wheels. If it's a clock us
he was British. By the way, if it's a clock,
I'll said it, no, no way. If it's got wheels,

(45:43):
I'll move it. If it's got If it's a I'll
say no, I think it. If it's a clock, said it.
It's me special daily wave clocks and wheels. That gets
to make me laugh so hard. Man, God, that's how

(46:06):
much time we spend it on a little No, no, no,
it's not it's my specialty. It's it's me. It's me.
We did a little bout Mary Poppin, Mary Poppins, we
did freaking Burt from Mary Poppins. Yeah, it's special. Whenever
I'm over there trying to do my British accent, my
girlfriend's family says, I sound like dig fanty Mary Poppins.

(46:26):
Don't do don't deal in wave clocks and way you
dealing with clocks and we you Oh Patrick, we should
have him on the show. Oh that would be great, man,
I'd love to catch up with Patrick. I'd love to
catch up with a lot of these cats. Man. There
are a lot of people out there that works so
hard on I wonder if I wonder if the listeners

(46:47):
would want to hear from from some of the crew people.
Let's ask them, guys, weigh in on it, man, because
we got a lot of people with some very interesting
stories that I think you would love to hear. But
you know, we're nervous, We're still you know, we don't
want to We don't want to let you down. We
want to want to tease that we're gonna have Lisia
Silverstone and then bring on Patrick Bolton. You know we
don't want to, right, So let us know. Do you

(47:08):
want to Yeah, do you want to hear from our
crew members? Because I'm sure they've got some wonderful stories
for you guys to listen to. They do. They can
talk about how Donald took forever to come to set.
That's not true. So how about how I call him Perry?
Ah four, you got to get a little ballsy, I
got a little cocky calling him Perry. I'm trying he goes, Perry,
I go, I'm trying it out. Try it out and

(47:30):
then I go a Q any questions. I love Jordans
on this. I love the curly Fries situation. Oh, I
could totally relate. And at the end when Jordan says
curly fries and the face that she makes where it's
like it's hopeful that he did it, but also please

(47:53):
don't disappoint me, she has the fear that he disappointed her,
and she's like curly Fries and he pulls him out
and she's so happy. That's real deal. Holy Field man.
I remember when Casey was pregnant with Rocco. She would
eat oatmeal every night, and so at one point I
would be like, uh, do you want to go out
to dinner? She would go oatmeal for dinner, for dinner, oatmeal, absolutely,

(48:19):
whatever you want, baby. You just gave me an idea.
I might have a Beyond Burger today for lunch. Have
you had Beyond Burgers? They're really good? No, you know,
I've I've I've stopped eating red meat. I know Beyond
Burger's plant based. I just get a little nervous that
it's gonna taste like its delicious. And by the way,
this is not one of our sponsors. I'm just this
is totally true. I'm not being paid to tell you this.

(48:40):
Beyond burger is delicious. Now, granted you want to put
a little salt and pepper and all the things you
would do, you put the relish in the ketchup and
the mustard, but it's really good. So for me, I
was always like, I want to give up red meat,
but and I won't crave steak. The thing I'll crave
is a burger. I'm telling you, will you try beyond
it for me, I'll postmate to you some. I'll send

(49:03):
you some over. Yeah. You know, somebody hit me up
and was like, you know, red meat is not bad
for you, it's good for you, etcetera, etcetera. It's my
personal choice, thank you. Yeah, And I I have to
be honest. I've been struggling personally. I'm not broadcasting. I
hate when people fucking prosthetize their ship. I'm not trying

(49:23):
to tell you to do whatever you want to do.
I personally have been struggling a little with the ethics
of eating animals, and anytime I see video footage of
how they're treated, I want to change my ways. And
it's it's it's taken forever and m My girlfriend has
inspired me a lot, and I'm really kind of um
starting to do it. Hey, but how's you painis? What

(49:48):
do you mean? How's you painis? My appearance is delightful.
Why are you asking? I'm just trying to get back
to the show. Oh now you don't like digressions, fucking
asshole floo. We not only lost Susan from Duluth, we
lost the co host. All right, all right, let's bring

(50:13):
on the fan. Donald first, let's go before we do that,
let's go to break. Do you want to see something wise?
We're going in to break something. Just impart the fans
with something that's just wise. They can think about it
during the break. Three licks to the center of a
TUTSI pop. That's all I'm going to tell you. Three licks.
Way more than three licks, not according to the owl.

(50:37):
Right back on that note, it's David Canna keep it.

(50:58):
Let's okay, David. I apologize for that. I love every
second that was. I'm sorry, David, I gotta do something.
Did I get it right? It's connon a cannon. You've
got it the first time. That's very rare. It's David.
I'm sorry, but my a C is broken? Have to
take off my shirt? Where is your I have pants on?

(51:26):
It's David. Do you mind if I remove my shirt? David?
I'm so sorry. I'm about doing the exact same things
you do it, David, before you came shirt that we're
all gonna have to remove. Listen, David, before you came on,
we learned that my A C is broken and I
have to keep the doors closed because the sound. Um,
so this is what's happening. Um, how are you, David?

(51:49):
Where are you calling from? I'm coming. I'm in London
and I'm feeling similar to you right now back because
there's it was thirty five degrees today, so in London
that means I'm guessing that's celsius. Yes, it was very
very hot actually, and it's still twenty five degrees now,
so it is it's a warm night. Um. Do you
often find that Americans who do a British accent sound

(52:11):
like Dick van Dyke and Mary Poppins. It's getting better?
That was that was like an error where that was
like the stable accent. But I feel like British British,
British actors are are English. Excuse me, English actors are
so good at doing American accents, and I find that
whenever we Americans try, we sound ridiculous. I mean sorry,

(52:34):
for example, was a surprise the most Americans? I think, yes, yes, yes,
it's either the Dick van Dyke accent, or it's the
guy from Mindy Python. How many are the did you
say for rabbits? What you're saying that, that's what Americans
sound like when those are the two British accents they do.

(52:56):
They either do the Dick pan Hello maryby bo Bent
or how many did you? David? Where where in the
UK are you? I'm in London, London Stratford. Are you
near the melli Born Station, Mary Born Station, Marley Bone,

(53:18):
Donald Marley Marley Bone, Marley Bone. I stayed at that hotel. Okay,
I love that area. You just wanted to say Marley Bone.
It's a great name. It is um David, thanks for
coming on the show. Do you have a question? Is
this is? This is nice? Thank you very nice headphones.

(53:38):
You have a nice camera. I'm sensing you have a
better Can you have a moscow mule in your hand?
Do you have a moscow mule? Oh? I mean this
is actually it's a take on a Moscow mule. This
has been made with Oh let me shout out, but listen,
Donald and I are researching releasing the Day of Shoon
Moscow Mule. Uh. And I'm really to be that you're

(54:00):
representing because you know what you're trying to get. It's
always a great answer what you're trying to get into
a day o Shoon. I don't know that we can
call it a day of shoon though, because here's the problem.
Unless you're an avid listener in the podcast, you're gonna
be like, what the fund is that? So it might
have to be called they might have to be called
like the Fake Doctor's Moscow Munle or the Real Friends

(54:20):
Moscow Munle. Like you look so disappointed because I like
the what I like to I like the ad for it.
What you're trying to get into a day oshoon, what
you're trying to do a day o Shoon. I just
feel like in our very first marketing meeting, they're gonna
be like, no one's gonna know what a day of

(54:40):
Shoon is. They will if we market it right. Anyway,
let's get sorry, David, how are you give us a
question for us? Please? David, before you begin can you
tell them what you do? So, I mean I work
in film. I mean, at least I used to you
until COVID happens. Be quite a few months there now, um,

(55:01):
and I guess I kind of I got into film actually, uh,
when I was working in like corporate media. Uh. And
then at the time I spent all my holiday being
a extra in the solo film. Oh, Donald, this is
a present from Joel's I got that. I got that.

(55:23):
Look at his face. Look at Donald's face. It's like
you just gave him the present of his life, which
which Donald solo said, solo and the solo film. So, David,
are you in a position to tell us what the
funk happened on that set? I mean I was only
at the time an essay like a background actors, So
I mean I was version. Did you see both versions?

(55:46):
Did you see Kennedy coming in and saying, you're fired
the funk out of here? Are you too, I'm sick
of the ship roll? I want Star Wars. Yes, And
they roll in Ron Howard like on the Salent to
the Lambs Dolly, and he's gotten like they bring him
in and like go to work, and he goes to
work and he takes off the mask and the lord

(56:07):
get the funk out of here. That I was looking
enough to work with. I mean not exactly like I
have to work with them both. I mean I gotta
see both directors do that, do that job, which was amazing.
But again I mean also like the I think the
very terrifying is the NBA might stop out. No, he

(56:30):
can't get in trouble still, but maybe you can. You
and Joel and Donald could hop on a different private
zoom and you can give him the dirt that trying
to get our new friend David in trouble by breaking man.
But you can listen, man, I get it, I get it.
I get it. You're not supposed to spill the beans.
But sometimes like dude, it's me David, I said your

(56:51):
name until I lost my breath. You can't give me
no information. I said, I said your name until I
couldn't breathe anymore. That's true. And and now you sit
here and you tell me that you can't give me. Okay,
ask a question, David, Let's see what I give you.
Ask the question. He's gonna say, he's gonna say, he's
gonna say he's signed an NDA so question one question.

(57:18):
So you guys just said, like several times Ovis podcasts
that the writers were always having to get ideas and
scripts cleared by the network. Um, and it often get
changed or shot down, like the whole medical marijuana idea.
I think what's happening season one and they were like, nah,
you can't do that. Yeah. Um So, Mike, my question
is if you had total control of the show, uh,
like saying it's like an Netflix film, Yeah, like you were,

(57:40):
you were the makers, you had all the power. Is
there a storyline and the idea that you think would
be fun to play with the network would just never allow.
I don't know if there's a storyline, but I definitely
think that there's a Oh wait, I signed an NDA.
That was a good fake out. That was a good
fake out because in my brain and went, oh good,
he's going to be mature. And then no, no, no,

(58:01):
in all honesty, Uh, I do I I don't know.
I don't necessarily I think storyline, but I think format
of the show, like I would make it more risque,
like curb your enthusiasm, you know what I mean? Or uh,
something like that, like if if if if, if we
could and Uh, if we could come back and do

(58:24):
it on a network where we could do all of
the jokes that we wanted to do from the gate,
I would like to see that. I would like to
see a more risk a version of Scrubs with you know,
maybe more It could be blood, it could be guts,
it could be cursing, it could be sexual content. I
agree with Donald. I would also go darker into the

(58:45):
world of medicine. I mean, we've touched on it. Obviously
Scrubs touched on it, but there's a lot of funked
up ship that goes on the bureaucracy. Obviously we touched
on the pharmaceutical ReBs. Obviously we touched on it, but
you know, there's literally decisions that are made being like
a m this person has insurance that person doesn't. So
we're gonna go again. We touched on it in a

(59:06):
in a network safe kind of way that I would
I would say, let's go darker and do it. By
the way, I didn't know that you guys have universal
healthcare there, so you're you know, it's it's a it's
a completely different system there, but here decisions are made
on the quality of your insurance um, which means that
you had a good enough job to get enough insurance
to live um, And people are sent home because they

(59:26):
don't have the right insurance, and decisions are made based
on so many factors that are inhumane, I think in
a lot of ways that are foreign to someone who
lives in a country with universal health care. Now that's
that's such as one thing I kind of like. I
get to start to learn from Scrubs, which just how
different ar two countries were with how we went into healthcare.

(59:47):
And yeah, the ages is lovely. I'm very happy to
have that. So next question this is this is too donald,
actually so donald. Now that Disney are gonna be making
films pretty much an und all the law and they
expland of University Star Wars for many years to come.
The question is if you were to try and pitch
yourself in a lead role to Kathy Kennedy and her

(01:00:09):
twinsists at the same time, what kind of character would
you be like? Um? What would you want to be?
Would you want to see yourself as in that universe?
Like you? That's a great question. Um, I would like
to see myself, not necessarily as a moisture farmer, but

(01:00:30):
that's where you start that, that's where you start out. Well,
that's how that's how it always starts in some form
of farming, whether it be junk or or moisture. What
is is a moisture farmer? A euphemism for something? No,
so he lived on a planet that's dry as fun
as the desert planet. And so Luke Skywalker and his family.
Would you know a farm atmosphere moisture from the atmosphere, Okay,

(01:00:55):
I didn't know that. Yeah, that's how they got water
and stuff like that. So I would what's your deal?
Character Kathy Kennedy or her twin sister who's punking you?
They come to you and they're like, Donald, whatever you want.
Who do you want to play in the universe? I'd
say to them, I looked them dead in eye, and
I'd be like, I want to play the lead. Okay,
but who's the lead? Doesn't doesn't I don't give ah,

(01:01:16):
no, no no, no, I want to play the lead. I'm
surprised you don't have any rom one to five. I
want to sup it's not a character in mind like now,
because there it's a universe. Man, there's no real there's
no you know, anybody can be anything in the Star
Wars universe. You know, I don't want to sit here

(01:01:37):
and be like I'd be a smuggler or I'd be
a well you do tend to like um the Han
solo vibe, so maybe you'd like no, I like Harrison Ford.
What I really you know, in watching Star Wars, the
stories that really speak to me are the everyday person.
We get to learn about all of these supernatural individuals
and all these people with these you know, crazy jobs

(01:01:59):
and elite you know, you know, and have elite status
in this gigantic galaxy. You know what I mean. That's
what Star Wars is. I want to learn about the
people that we don't see, you know what I mean.
That's more important to me, Like, uh, you know not
that No, broom Boy wasn't I didn't think broom Boy
was important to me because at the end he turned

(01:02:19):
out to be a fucking superhero, you know what I mean.
It's like, Okay, so broom Boy is special because he
can make a broom fly to his hand. That wasn't
dope to me. What's dope to me is learning about,
you know, the characters that don't have the force and
are living everyday lives and out of nowhere. This fucking
these guys in the white suit bust into wherever they're
hanging out and shoot up the place, and then they

(01:02:42):
have to deal with it from there. We never deal
with that. All we deal with is they come in,
they shoot up the place. The aftermath is the rebel
alliance fights them back. You know what I mean, I
don't care about all of that stuff. What do you have?
Kathy Kenny called you and she's said, Hey, Donald, Um,
we'd love you to be take this part. It's very exciting.
You're going to be Um Chewbaka's cousin. No, I'd be like, no,

(01:03:04):
I get sunk out of you. You wouldn't. You wouldn't.
You wouldn't voice Cheebaka's cousin in the suit. What if
they're like, Donald, we'll have a stuntman do the suit.
You just have to vos. I've totally look absolutely if
they act like Nick Nolty in Mandalorian, you know he's
not He's just doing the voice. There's a little bit

(01:03:25):
more to that though, you know what I mean. That's
that's Chewbacca just going all right. What if what if
Chewbaka's cousin was fluent in English. So Chewbacca's cousin has
a speech impediment and can speak English. Well, it's not
an impediment, it's a what's the opposite of impediment, That's
what it would be. It would be he's a gift.
Gif Rights assumed that Chebaca just didn't know English. You're

(01:03:49):
saying that he likes English. He understand here, all right,
And when he growls, Han is like, oh, you stopped complaining. Okay,
So what Let's say that you're you're you're a Wookie,
but you you you have the ability to articulate English
and you can speak Would you do that? Sure? Why not?

(01:04:10):
There we go. I found him apart, But that's not
what I'm looking for. I'm looking for in a Star
Wars movie. Like I'm very excited to see Lando's movie.
Even though Lando is a part of the lore and
everything like that, he's not in all the movies. He's
only in three of them. You know what I mean.
You don't know much about him. You know that he's

(01:04:31):
a you know that he's a con man, and he
you know, you know that he's a hustler in this galaxy,
and you know that he's going to deal with people
that don't involve the Empire, don't involve Luke Skywalker and
Princess Leiah and Han Solo. Uh, it's a it's a story.
That's why the Mandalorians so dope. And that's why everybody's
loving the Mandalorian so much because it's not the it's

(01:04:54):
not the normal story, and they're not trying to say
they're only seventeen people in this universe, saying the universe
is bigger. Okay, well there's your answer, David, and same question.
I don't. I would love to be in it, but
I have a feeling if if my agent called me
and said, hey, you're not gonna believe this, they want
you to be in the Star Wars universe, I'd say, listen,

(01:05:15):
I can't take this from my friend Donald phase On. No.
If you did that, I'd kill you. Could the character
Frican American And then I'd be like, yea, yeah, no, no,
he's right, do that ship do that? Would listen to
what Zach saying. But if you sincerely, if you were
offered a role in Star Wars and I would say
and you said no because of me, I would punch
you in your face, I would say. I would say, listen, um,

(01:05:38):
ms Kennedy, Um, is there a world where this character
offered me could be African American and have a giant
rack of a bubble bug and this would be you
right there, you right there, and this is why we're
best friends people, this is why we're best friends. And

(01:05:59):
she's called oilty, she'd she's she's she's like, like, how big,
like a shelf shelf and I'm like shelf shelf. And
she's like, let me think about it, like you can
put play the cookies on his ass, on the top
of his ass and eat off that ship. Maybe put
some milk on it. Does he get the pot of me?
She's like, and then she's like, I don't know what

(01:06:19):
if she's like maybe if the character was like constantly
high and late to work, I'd be like, yeah, yeah,
say now you make it sound like I'm uninsured. Oh no,
you're great. All right, David, we gotta go. Even though
you're British and we love all things. Thank you. I
love your shirt, coming on, your enjoyer, enjoy your drink,

(01:06:43):
all right you gum Hey Sam, hey, um, listen, it's
been a blast. I was thinking today, Donald, I thought
we could play the new bop by Charlotte Lawrence love

(01:07:05):
it because it actually is a really good song. I'm
not just saying that because she's our our pseudo niece.
That is my niece. Man, She's not my pseudo niece.
She is my niece. We just don't have the same blood. Okay, Well,
listen for those of you who don't know, Bill Lawrence,
the creative our show and Krista Miller who played Jordan's
have an amazing daughter named Charlotte Lawrence and she has

(01:07:26):
a really great singing career that's blowing up. Her producer
is Andrew Watt, who is like the current biggest hit
maker in the world. And she's got a new song
called slow Motion, and I'm about to talk it up.
Are you ready anything you want to say to the listeners? Donald,
before we wrap it up, shout out to all the
frontline workers right now. Um. You know we we haven't

(01:07:47):
shouted you out as of late, and we need to
do it right now once again. You know, thank you
for all your service, Thank you for putting your lives
on the line to save other lives. We totally appreciate you.
Uh yeah, Amen. Amen, Thank you everyone, and thank you
for being our listeners. Please don't forget to um to

(01:08:07):
subscribe to the show. Don't forget to rate the show.
Give it five stars. It's the only option we're giving
you is five stars. And tag your friends when we
posted on instag your friends, tell your friends, blow us up.
We're having so much fun doing this. We're gonna tour.
It's gonna be so exciting. Just imagine Joel, Daniel, Me
and Donald not a tour bus, clam baking. We with

(01:08:30):
baked clams. I think that's an expression that means filling
the bus with ganja overseas. It's probably more legal overseason.
And no, it's not unless we're in certain places. But
we we'd have met, we'd have medical uh certificates. Ready,

(01:08:50):
all right, here's my talk up. Ready. I love you guys,
have a great weekend. Thank you for listening to Fake
Doctor's real friends. Here is the brilliantly talented Charlotte Lawrence
with their new songs slow motion, take it away, Charlotte,
because are fading now. It's a quiet way sleeping your goods,

(01:09:11):
my mcy House and I wish I knew what you feeling.
Fighting every instincts while you hold your pride back to
the beginning swallows from my heart, yourther I think a
po I even see you, and I'm I sure I

(01:09:33):
could hate you, my baby. I wish there when I
left you to chase me. I didn't want to change
why you bade men. I tell a your fans and
I'm facing I do love me. May believe now you
can'tfully touch me. I know I'll be moving. It's so

(01:10:00):
oh show. I've ever been good with words, but you
didn't try to listen. Could call that. I won't be
in the face to remind you what you're listening. Fighting
every instincts while you hold your pride back to the

(01:10:21):
beginnings swallows my my heart. You never learn how, But
I didn't try to fix it. I should. I could
hate you, my baby, I still and I left you
to chase me. I didn't want to change where your

(01:10:42):
baby like telling all your friends at a fazing to
me you be like you carefully touch me. I know
I'll be moving song, oh shot. I need you more

(01:11:08):
when you are not around, not around. Maybe I cray
the way you let me down, let me down. I
think I want you more than I need your boy,
the places I see y'all can let me slow, can
slowly shop. I could hang your baby. I still chase me.

(01:11:32):
I don't want to change how you made men's offends.
Kiss to be you, you care, let you touch me.
I know how be wounding its low shot