318: His Story II

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Maybe he's no room with you, but he's my loving
one man show. Whooooo, let's hear it for the boy.
Check out what's in my back? I love that the
ones hee is hanging behind you, my friend. There it is.
That is how we do. How are you doing, everybody?

(00:21):
I missed you. I missed you all. I missed you
in the in the zoom chat. I missed you listening.
I missed our community feel that. Yes, definitely missed and
missed our conversations pop culture talk. But we're back here now.
I heard that you guys had your Star Wars pilot
was very well received. I heard on the interwebs. Oh

(00:43):
my goodness, the messages Instagram dms were such a delight
the past couple of days, like so wonderful. And then
of course our friends who run the Fake Doctor's real
Friends Instagram. I found this amazing artwork and I talked
to the artist this morning. He's really cool. We may
work some things out. Drawing someone did of you and
Donald Yeah yeah, they made and Donald Han and it

(01:07):
was so awesome, so cool. What Yes, it's myself Donald
cal Rissian, but you know, hey, yeah we can we
can talk, we can make a job. I'm sure the
artist could make you Donald cal Rissian if you want, no, no, no,
you could always draw me looking like Han Solo, but
just put the name cal Rissian on the back. Put
some respect on that name, you know what I'm saying,

(01:28):
Grow some respect on it. I'm excited for the prospect
of you guys doing this. I think that there's a
big demand out there. There are so many people like
you two who could just sit and talk about Star
Wars all day long. We did want to reassure the
fake doctors, feel friends listeners like this is not going
to be the space where we do the Star Wars podcasts.
I was worried that some people might be like, oh,

(01:48):
here it goes now, it's all Star Wars. If you're not,
it's most definitely it's most definitely not. I can assure
you this is gonna stay with This is and these
two might have a little side hustle and Daniel, maybe
you I should start a little side hustle podcast into that.
We have to find out you start a podcast called
you Honor Me Now. I actually was falling asleep last

(02:10):
night and I was thinking about being happy for YouTube.
Of course, a little jealous because that's my human nature.
But then I was like, well, what can dot Daniel
and I do? Like where's our ven diagram of overlapping interests?
And I thought it might be like, I mean, we're
not gonna do this, but I thought I was thinking,
like we could talk about gadgets. We both love electronics

(02:32):
and gadgets. I love that idea. Yeah, Like like you
know that guy, what's the name of that black guy
who's like the YouTube and he reviews cool gadgetry Marcus, Yeah,
Marky's Brownley MKHD. I think it is. Yeah, that guy's awesome.
I love that guy. Yeah, And I thought you and
I could just like chat about camera toys and electronics.

(02:54):
That's our side hustle everybody. You can help me fix
my camera? That would be great. Yeah. How are you?
Donald Phaison? My favorite human being? I don't know if
I'm at the listen. Man, you told me to do
something and I did it today because you know what
it's time. Did you get on the peloton? Did you
get on the peloton? I peloton today, man, I'm peloton

(03:14):
like you wouldn't believe. Man. And I did it for
twenty minutes and I did Cody Yeah, and I did
his Black Girl group ride. Oh that sounds right up
your alley. Let me just put it this way. You
know what song was on there? What your favorite? Where

(03:35):
my girl's at? From there? You're feeling many one and
repeat that trying to take my man, I don't need that,
trying to play yourself where my girl? Where my girls?
That one and feeling that where my girls? Right? He
played that one and he finished with this is when

(03:57):
I was like, Cody, you read you just made my day.
But not only did he read my day, but he
also turned me out, man, because I was so tired,
Like I'm in the shower rinsing off to do the
podcast and like standing you remember I have to end
of Rocky four after he just went through the battle
with with Ivan Drago and he's standing in the shower
and he realizes I got brain damage, called the doctor.

(04:19):
That's how I felt after the ride with with Cody today. Well,
you know it's twenty minutes. It's gonna it's gonna be
a lot more difficult than a See, I broke my toe.
I'm six weeks out of my my toe break, and
and so I'm I have to tiptoe for lack of
a better term, back. So I'm doing back to the basics.

(04:43):
But I encourage everyone listen. If you're listening, I encourage
you to join us on on healthy January. You don't
have to have a pelleton bike. You don't have to
you can literally walk around your block. But I encourage
you to, you know, join some movement, get some movement,
because well, I'm sure you know that. I'm sure you

(05:05):
all did what we did in December and just let
it all go. But it's January now, new year. We
all with with all that's going on with COVID. You know,
I think of working out most importantly for my mental health.
If you're not someone who's done a lot of cardio
in your life, I'm telling you that if you do
thirty minutes of it and get your heart rate up,

(05:27):
you feel so good. And don't be intimidated by going, oh,
I don't have a fucking peloton by zach or I
don't have I can't run, I have. You can. Anyone
can put on music, put on a podcast and walk,
and I encourage you to join us, right guys, absolutely So.
The last song that uh He played was I Need

(05:53):
Love love don't come easy. It'sing. It's a thing. You
can't hurry love. No, you just do wait. She said,
love don't come easy. It's a game of giving take.

(06:15):
You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wag dude.
That was the That was the outro. Yeah, I can't.
What is the reason? You just made me realize? What
is the reason in the in the lyricts mind that
you can't hurry love? Why do you have to wait?
Because it doesn't come easy. It's a game of give

(06:36):
and take. So if you're not ready to play the
game of love, you know you gotta wait. Dude. But
what happens when you're in love and you're excited and
you don't you just want to sprints towards it with
your arms open. You don't want to wait. Okay, there's
two things you don't play. You don't play like this song,
there's two things I understand. But there's two things in
life you don't play. You don't play love and you

(06:56):
don't play boxing. Okay, those are two things you do
not play. Period. You don't waste somebody's time, and you
don't get your ass kicked for being a dumbass by
playing boxing. Don't play boxing, y'all. Some people learn the
hard way. You don't play just because you're in a
boxing class learning how to do all of that tibo

(07:17):
shit and all that stuff. Don't mean you're gonna kick
somebody's ass. Man. Don't play boxing. That is real life.
A fight is a fight, is a fighting anyway. So
and you don't and you don't play that game. Don't
play with love. It's funny. I've heard that song He's
willion times, but I'm just analyzing the lyrics. You can't
hurry love. You just have to wait. Love don't come easy.
It's a game of give and take. Yeah, well, so

(07:40):
look if somebody, if you love somebody right, go ahead,
and you want to take it to the next level.
You can't just say, let's take it to the next level.
It has to gradually get there on its own. Meaning
you can't just feel like, if love is happening with

(08:00):
both people, then let it happen, and you gotta let it.
Then you have to let it happen. But why am
I taking? I mean, just why when you're in especially
in the new love, I just want to give. I
don't want to. I don't want to I don't want
modulate my love. I want to take a lot of
love too when I'm when I'm first in love, not
only do I want to give love, but I want
to take love too. Is good? Love is good when

(08:21):
you receive it. Yeah, it's good to give, but it's
good to Oh my god, Jaell, how is the dating
thing going? We really now that it's a new year, Joel,
I feel like new year knew you. And if listeners
will recall that you said you were open to finding

(08:42):
love and I just want to know where that was at.
I if there's anything Donald and I can do to
set in motion you finding true love. Uh, I'm moving.
I feel like Zach, you're such like a true like.
I don't like this phrase hopeless romantic because I feel

(09:02):
like that's not accurate. But you just want, like everyone
to be in love. You love love, and I love love.
I love that abouch you man, It's it's beautiful. I
have to get out of this living room and into
the house. Well, when's that happening? You and you're you
and your brother found a new spot right it's a
child house, yes, and it's three stories and I have

(09:24):
a balcony and it's so pretty, and you're gonna get
a puppy apparently, Oh, we are getting a freaking puppy
out here. I have to bribe or like, I don't know,
I'll pray to different gods, like whatever we need to do.
I tell you, you know, I always I follow the
LaBelle Foundation, which is a rescue organization where we rescued
Billy from and I'm always dming Joel pictures of cute

(09:48):
puppies cry and Jobelle's like Joel amongst my other friends too,
I do that. So they're like, yeah, Zach, we follow
LaBelle Foundation. We get it. But I'm but I'm still like,
I don't care. Look at this one. Zoom in, zoom
in on the eyes. They're all beautiful and I can't
wait to give one a home. We move in two weeks.
Over the three day weekends. Oh, I think I see
some boxes actually in the background of yourself of everything

(10:11):
in different states. Yes, having a room is going to
be just the best. So once I have like my
own bedroom and the weekend dating situation, oh Joe, well,
you're you're you you you don't you? You and your
brother are sharing a one bedroom right now? We have
a two bedroom apartment. I uh, fell on some really

(10:34):
hard times and you did a place to live like
a year and a half ago, and so my brother
and his best friend Andrew, like they were like, we
opened the house to you, and so I've been sleeping
on their couch for like a year and a half. Now,
you guys, but you've had such a delicious turnaround times
and had to sleep on a couch. Now you have
all these exciting things happening with your career, and I'm

(10:58):
just so excited for you. I think, first of all,
you have First of all, you have in my in
my opinion, you have one of the best Star Wars
podcasts in the history of Star Wars, like straight up,
like straight up, dude, like straight up, that ship was
so jo It was so much fun. It was so

(11:18):
much fun, and it was so much fun to re
listen to it. Also, I'm gonna be honest with you,
and then it was also so much fun that he
had a response from all the fans out there talking
about talking about you and I and our chemistry together.
That felt so good because I know your passion for
the movie and you know my passion for the movies
and everything nervous. We didn't talk about it, but I
was really nervous about putting it out. I was like,

(11:40):
hem meanhawing, And we had talked about putting it out
on Christmas and then I was like, oh, I don't know,
I don't know. It was just so and then we
finally released it, and Yeah, to get like such a
positive response from everybody, I just want to say, I
didn't know that you fell on hard times a year
and a half ago, and I am so thrilled for
you that in this awful time for the earth, you

(12:02):
are are are are catching your stride, and you're You've
got a lot of cool projects going on, and you
just you're You're so talented and people love you. They
our fans are crazy about you. And so when you
when you did that one little host thing, there were
so many comments about like, oh my god, Joell needs
a rold show, Oh my god, Joell needs so I

(12:23):
just think the sky's the limit for you this year, Joel.
I think you're gonna accomplish so many things. And I
know you're also a writer and you aspire to uh
to do lots of different forms of writing, and I
hope that all that happens for you this year. Oh
it's gonna you know, That's what the energy is all behind.
And I feel like I feel like I do want
to like date casually, but I feel like I don't

(12:44):
want to always in pandemic. It feels weird. Just be like, yeah,
I don't foresee it's going anywhere. I'm just trying to
like meet and talk to people, and it's it's fun
when you're single to have a crush. You can just
have a fun person to d m. Maybe I'll look
for I'll look for someone like that from a married man.
I love my wife and I know she loves me
and we have a wonderful thing going. But casual dating
sounds like so much fun. We're gonna live like Karsy

(13:09):
through Joel. No, it's taken. No, it's taken. So if
that's what you're gonna do, you need to you need
to definitely take notes. Will you mind our advertisers Joel
or will or somebody that we want the dating app
to sponsor us, because I have lots of ideas for
dating app segments called Joelle finds True Love. That's the

(13:29):
that's the rough title. I really do want to the
title should be The title should be sorry, Joe want
to cut you off, But the title should be Joel
found a house. Now she's ready to mingle. No, we
just finished jingle jingle. Now it's time for Joel to mingle. Right,

(14:00):
But we can get Charlie Poos to write a little
theme song for them for the segment. Please get Charlie
poo theme song about me trying to find one. We
will listen. Charlie, Charlie and I. Charlie and I, uh,
we text and he's very happy. The theme song is
so well received. So I think if I go to
him and say, look, I know that you're you're on fuego,
but I need a little jingle for Joelle's jingle jingle,

(14:23):
I would die. That would be amazing. It would be something,
It would be something. It would be something special to
hear do something like you know you made it through
and finish your hust. So called Joe ell up. She
just wants to tuss. So yeah, oh good, Yeah, that's funny.

(14:50):
I like that. That's funny. We could Donald and I
could riff all day on Joel dating segment theme song. No,
it's a casual dating segment. They can't catch feelings. It's
a casual dating sells. If one person, anybody who goes
on a date with Joel is gonna catch feelings, well
then they're gonna have to worry. They're gonna have to
worry about that, because my girl's not ready to do
that yet. You know what I'm saying, both of you

(15:10):
being very auntie right now. I also feel like Joelli.
One thing about being fluid, that's the correct way to
phrase it, is that you got it. You get to
throw a wire net. That is the bonus of bisexuality. Yes, yes,
by the way, I feel like that could be one
of Charlie's lyrics. This bone is sub bisexuality. I catch,

(15:34):
I throw a widen it word. I don't care if
it's a penis salt. Vagina. Well, I don't know what
rhymes with vagina, what rymes of vaginas Donald. All I
know is when we do it, I'm getting behind us.

(15:57):
Vagina is a hard word to rhyme. I'm a vagina listener.
It's hard. I'm just trying to get off kind of.

(16:18):
I got it, and that's why I'm gonna get Marinder Mariner.
When I put my face and I'm going to Grinder, Yeah,
Grinder's good. Or if you're trying to get late, if

(16:39):
you're trying to get laid, then I am trying to
find you up. Brinder. I don't fuck with any of
that ship like Brander, but I like Teenas and also Vagina,

(17:00):
but Janna and Penis, I mean this penis myneesier rhyme.
We might have to end the night. Alright, alright, alright
seven about sure we made about a bunch of docs

(17:21):
and nurses stories never so get around here, yea, around here, Donald,
you did, you did the perfect thing, you know, And

(17:43):
there's always when there's an improv group, there's always the
guy in the improv comedy theater that's job is to
know when to do the blackout on the improv segment.
And like you guys, you guys, just stop now. You
went out on a laugh blackout and Donald, you five
seven dated the right blackout moment. There was no more

(18:04):
penis and vagina segment. All right, So his story, guys,
it's Donald's turn to narrate scrubs. It was Can I
just say one thing really quick? Yeah, we talked about
this weekend and you know we haven't seen each other.
I want to highlight something that's really been awesome to me.

(18:27):
I know, last week I talked about or last episode
I talked about grab A Tracks. This week now I've
been I've been going to this place for a long time.
But it's so delicious. And I know of it because
Trevor Ferris and his wife, Kelly Ferris, his wife and

(18:47):
my wife are very friendly. And he once did a
like a pizza night at a friend of ours house
where he came and he made pizza for all of
us and it was delius. And he has this place
and I'm sure if you live in California you've heard
of it. It's called Hanks Bagels. It is so good.
If you are a bagel leader and you love to

(19:10):
eat bagels, Hanks Bagels is a spot. It's usually sold
out the spot and Burthens it's just in Burbank. There's appening. Yeah,
there's a spot opening up in Studio City that uh
January nineteenth, or you can go to Hanks Bagels dot com.
When I tell you these bagels are delicious, I want

(19:32):
him to do a pizza bagel. That's how good the
pizza was. If you could imagine how good, you know,
I don't know how important crust is to pizza. And
he made pizza for us and it was like it
was like the type of where you would just like
devouring it. Think about how it's like you're implying that
it was better than Florence's pizzas that she made for you,
which no disrespect to your girlfriend. No, I just I'm

(19:54):
starting to infer that you're saying no disrespect to your girlfriend. Yeah.
I love Florence and I love I love her pizza.
This dude's a professional chef. He's you know, he's been
doing this for a really long time. And when I
tell you, if you haven't tried Hank Spagels yet, Zach,
all right, I promise you I will, but I will

(20:15):
get I will go and I will because George, Well
that's part of it. Part of it's like, you haven't
tried Hank Spagels yet. Really I haven't, but I will.
That's like my grandmother when I was a kid, and
I would be at the house and she'd be like,
you want bread with the with the food? And I'd
be like, no, I'm good, Grandma. She'd be like, you
don't want no bread with it? Like it would just couldn't.

(20:35):
I didn't understand it. That's how I am with you
with bagels, man, I just don't understand it, how you're
not eating well. I don't eat much gluten. I try
not to eat gluten, and I don't have Celiac or anything.
I just feel better all around when I don't have
gluten in my body. I noticed that I thought I
had celiac because I've really that acid reflux. And I
once read a thing on celiac and I was like, Oh,
I've had that. Oh I have that. Oh I have that.

(20:57):
I was convinced I had. I got tested. I don't
have it, but I did not. That is that when
I don't eat gluten, I feel better. Of Course I
cheat like hell, because I'll just like say, I'll suffer
the acid reflects because that pizza looks so good or
that bagel looks so good. But I will get you.
I will buy it for you as a matteract, you
won't have to buy it. I will go and buy
you a Baker's dozen't they are delicious. By the way,

(21:18):
I got your Your Christmas present is belated, but I
have to tell you it's pretty dope. And the one
one only hint I'm gonna give you is that the
reason it's late is because I bought it on stock X. Oh.
I mean you know what stock exits donald Yeah, I

(21:38):
know it's stock exits, all right, So just only hints
you're gonna get is stock X. It has to first
go to get verified before it comes to you, so
it's currently being verified for its authenticity. I can't wait.
I can't. I love getting presents. I love it. I
can I can't love. You know what's crazy, see though,

(22:00):
is that you got you got it off of stock
X and stuff. So now these sneakers that you bought
me are gonna immediately go right to the closet and
just sit there for the rest of their line. I
was just gonna rock him. First of all, you don't
know they're sneaker. Stock X verifies other things, but that
was the stock X verified. I don't everything everything they got,
big yo. They got the Millennium falcon on there. I mean,

(22:21):
I'm sure they're collectible. By the way I bought I
bought these. I bought these off white, Nike off whites,
and I didn't get them off stock X, and they
I like Nike off whites, they're like deconstructed, They're super dope,
and my girlfriend was cracking up. She's like, there's first
of all, those are fugly. Second of all, there's no
way there we all look at them. That thing's coming
off and that, and I was like, this was pre

(22:42):
pandemic and I was like a bat. In New York.
We live near flight Club, the sneaker shop, and I
was like, She's like, I want to go with you
when you bring them in to see if they're real,
because I'm gonna laugh so hard if you paid all
that money for those and they're fake. And I didn't
ever go in because I was worried. I was scared

(23:03):
I had been duped. But you know, it's funny because
off White's the whole thing. This style of Off White was.
Nike's were like meant to be deconstructed looking. We were
meant to look a little And so she was laughing
at him, like, Hey, I can't believe you bought those
for that much money. Be please, let's go to flight
Club because I think they have to be fake. Which
ones were they? Can? I ask? Yeah? There, I don't

(23:24):
know the name of them, but they were like they're
they were like I forgot the exact one, but they
were the mega deconstructed one Prestos maybe, yes, Nike Prestos.
Those are the ones that also looked the most and
they had an orange the swish was orange, and the
sneaker the late red tag. Yes, they're dope. They're very dope. Anyway.

(23:45):
The point is, Donald, I didn't want to put you
through that, so I went through stock X. I appreciate
your I appreciate your due diligence, but I mean, it's
really hard to tell fakes. They've gotten so good at
these fakes, so it doesn't matter if it's fake or real.
That's a very good question. That's a very good question.

(24:06):
But I think that's a that's a very good question.
I think it's just that if you're going to spend
a lot of money on a limited edition thing, you
want it to be the real thing. But what if
you didn't spend a lot of money and it looks
like that's fine? Yeah, I totally. I mean, I mean
that's like whether you want to support I mean, who cares, Yeah,
go ahead for it. Yeah, I mean, let's keep it.

(24:26):
Let's just keep it one hundred with everybody, you know,
sneakers don't cost a lot of money to make, but
they're sold at such a high price. You know what
I mean, They cost less than dollars to make. No
one is listen if you buy fake sneakers, No one
is sucking examining your sneakers. I just hope for you
and for fake shoes, fake sneakers. I don't give a

(24:46):
fuck if you buy fake shoes, fake sneakers. If it
keeps your feet warm or it keeps your feet protected,
good for you. Man. I'm glad you got shoes, don't.
I don't give a fuck if you, like found found
fakes on purpose and they're cheap, I don't. I could
give two ships. I'm saying, if you're like me, and
you're the idiot who actually spent a lot of money
on them, you would hope that they were the real deal, right,

(25:08):
These sneakers, I mean, for you, these things that may
or not be sneakers that I got for you and
I spent a lot of money on them. I want
the guy at stock Eggs to be like, oh shit,
these are dope and they're real. You got me to
motherfucking lebron big apples, didn't you? You got me to Lebron.
You got me to space jams got jam. I'm not
gonna ruin it? Do you want me to ruin it?

(25:28):
I was hoping you would unbox on the podcast live
when they arrive. When they arrive, I will unbox on. Okay,
we'll do a live unbox thing on the podcast. Let's
take a break. We'll be right back after these fine words.
All right, are you ready for your recap? Why didn't

(25:49):
we get the time around for a graph? Guy? One seconds?
I haven't seen an update on the graph. And sometime
Joel check in on the graph and go, oh snap,
your man got the vo for this episode. Turks all
in his head about his upcoming nuptials. J D needs
a break from it all. Elliott missus Shawn so much
it hurts sometimes, and Cox is looking for an ally

(26:12):
in an ongoing battle with the evil Doctor Kelso, just
when you think you know someone is usually when they
give you cause to cast doubt. That's not always a
bad thing. Sometimes that good thing you need from a
friend is just a simple shift in perspective. That being said,
do you really want to always know what to expect

(26:33):
from someone? Seems a bit boring? Well, good work. I
don't I want to know that. First of all, Elliot's
a hoe. No, no, Elliott bad. I think no, hold on,
I think, hold on, I think I think. Right then

(26:55):
and there, Elliott realized she wants to be with j
D for the rest of her life, but it's not
time yet. And that's why when Sean comes, she's so
easily able from jump. She literally finishes having sex with him,
and then her boyfriend literally walks in the door and

(27:15):
then he swoops her bridal style and she shrugs as
the guy that she already had, like it's not like, oh,
we're just gonna sleep her, like we're but they were
even like sex buddies. They're like in an actual relationship together, Joel,
she's cheating on him. She's cheating on her boyfriend with
her old boyfriend. Joel's right. The semen on the sheets

(27:36):
isn't even dry D because you know, they didn't use
no condoms. They definitely didn't use a condom. They definitely
didn't use a con And then Joel's right, Sean shows
up and it's not She doesn't even give JD a
face like, oh my god, holy shit, hitty. She she's
in his arms, smiling and waving as he carries her away.

(27:58):
That's no fucked up on hold on. First of all,
there's a lot of things that are fucked up with
this situation. First of all, you knocked and then you
open the door. Nobody said come in. First of all,
nobody said come in. One two? How did you know
to find her at freaking j D's house. H right,

(28:18):
she's not at there, She's not at home. She must
be at j D's. What about the mother fucking hospital?
Sean as bullshit happened, And that was some bullshit as Elliott,
whole situation with Elliott in Maybe even in the car
is gonna have sex with Sean? I mean they were
about there, you know. He said, oh my god, you
switched to front season. Yeah, which means he's already was

(28:38):
taken off her shirt. Maybe they're gonna fuck in the hallway.
This has to be a fantasy at j D's. This
is gonna cut to a fantasy at j D's next.
This is real, bro, this is real. I don't know.
I just listen. I listen, I don't. You can be
one can be as promiscuous as you want to be.
That's your right if you're gonna have two different peeps

(29:00):
in you in one day, or as many as you want.
I just think it's pretty sucked up that she A
cheats on her boyfriend, then she knows that JD has
feelings for her. Then when Sean shows up, she's like peace. Later,
I think that JD knows it too deep down inside

(29:22):
at this point, well as A as A as A said, Okay,
how about this hindsight being twenty twenty and knowing how
the whole thing ends. This is a pivotal point in
their relationship. This is the point I feel like Elliott knows. Okay,
Sean's my boyfriend, and I enjoy spending time with him.
But this guy does a little bit more for me
than any man will. And I'm going to spend the

(29:46):
rest of my life with him, but not right now.
It's too soon, or I'm having so much fun. It's
fucking Scott Foley. Look how hot he is. Don't worry,
j D. I'm gonna settle down with you. I know
you love me more than any woman in the world.
But meantime, Scott Foley wants to fuck me in the hallway.
She already gave you some He's getting sloppy seconds. Oh man,

(30:09):
what if he goes down on her and, like Semen,
just falls out on his face. That's mine. Best day ever?
This is this is this is, this is what I
dream about. It's not too much. I don't cut that.
I dream. I dreamed that this happens on television shows,
just so I could be like, best day ever, best

(30:29):
day ever. Oh, you can't beat you can't beat that.
You can't beat that, you can't beat that visual ever ever.
I'm sorry, I'm America, America, the rest of Earth. I'm sorry,
but it did cross my mind. So wait a second,
you think JD is that insensitive? Also, you think JD

(30:53):
was like I'm gonna put a baby in her two
not only not imagine not in my imagination. They probably
didn't use for section and JD I'm sure probably pulled out.
He wasn't trying. He's a doctor, he's intelligent, he's not
trying to. So therefore your you're a little statement about
Seaman falling on his face, Well, what if there's a
world where he knows she's on the pill, their former
lovers u in the heat of the moment, it just happens,

(31:16):
and there's you know as as they just had sex
and all of a sudden the door knocks. If Sean
starts going down on her in the hallway, there could
be a little splash zone. Daniel, do we have to
cut this? No? No, it's rad and explicit for a reason.

(31:42):
All right, explicit they come for this. Let's best if
you're in your mini van. If you're in your minivan
and the kids are in the back seat, I'm sorry, sorry,
a lot of terms to explain. Yes, but we warned
you not to listen in the minivan with the kids
in the back seat. So dude, you just get You
just called it a splash zone. I was laughing. I

(32:04):
was I was working out listening to our podcast, the
one that came out today to listen back to see
if I had any notes, and I'm just cracking up,
and Florence is like it was kind of embarrassing because
Florence like, what are you listening to? And I had
to be, like my podcast and I'm just sitting there
in the gym doing like crunch is cracking up at us.

(32:27):
At least we find it funny, right, Well, look if
we don't laugh, shit, what are we doing? What are
we doing? It's funny at us. All right, so give
me all right now, listen, I have a lot to
say on this episode. It's in some your your performance
is great. You did a very funny job, and I
think it's a very funny episode, and you're particularly funny

(32:47):
in it. There are a couple of weird ass things. Now.
One thing I remember, trivia wise is I had just
gotten back from Sundance and sold Garden State and had
a huge momentous career, life changing moment. Bill, who was
always worried that my head was going to get too big,
decided that the very first scene that I would be
shooting would be in full clown makeup getting sprayed with

(33:10):
a Seltzer bottle. It was. It's actually really funny, though, Man, no,
it's funny. But I remember he even joked about it openly.
He's like, oh yeah, how a suddenance I heard it
went really well. Okay, first scene up, you're in a
clown suit and jatter spranging with Seltzer. Humboo pie. But no,
so it's great. Now. You had said in the last

(33:32):
podcast Donald that you thought I didn't appreciate a nice
big booty, and there was this rare moment that opens
up the show that JD sees a woman with giant bress,
he appreciates them. She turns around, she's got what I
what forty five year old me would tell you right
now is a delicious leap juicy booty, And for some
reason JAD reacts like you, and then we're supposed to believe, Like,

(33:55):
first of all, we're supposed to believe he would find
that woman unattractive in any way and be bullshit, what
was you about her having a juicy booty? I didn't
understand it. There's nothing back, there's nothing too sorry. Let
me just finish the thought. I assumed that what was
going to happen, and maybe it was cut was that
then we'd be in your head. You'd see the exact
same woman and you'd be like, damn, you only comment

(34:17):
on Elliot's but which was weird? Like what Turk's never
seen Elliot's ass before. No, it's just it thinks about it.
I think Turk thinks about that ship all the time though.
It is the thing I think. If anything, I think
this is where I remember you not liking big booties
from then, right, Maybe I evolved because there's nothing wrong

(34:38):
with that young lady's back. There's nothing I don't understand.
I don't understand the point of the joke. Yeah, because
it didn't even have a payoff, no like that. When
when I saw it, I went, Okay, they're gonna make
a black guy, white guy appreciation of butts thing. And
then it would cut to Turk having the vo see
the same woman and be like, oh, and that never happened.

(34:58):
I don't know if that was edited out or but
it didn't have it. It It didn't have a yang do
its yang? You know what I mean? Well, well, I'm
glad that didn't happen, first of all, because that stereotype
no longer holds up. I think everybody appreciates a nice
big button, yes, yes, but the stereotype used to be
that African American males appreciated a large booty more than
Caucasian male. Yeah, we would, just we were just ahead

(35:20):
of you were ahead. Well that that that young woman was,
that young woman was stunning, and every every aspect of
her was stunning. I laughed out loud when I fell
on all the files that I dropped right, that was
a that was a very good, uh set up. It
was very uh what's the word I'm looking for. It

(35:43):
was telegraphed and you saw it coming. Yes, but well done, well,
very well. Made me think about you know, in two
thousand and four when this was made, that things were
still that paper based. You know, now all that's computerized.
Imagine I think I would hope so right, maybe not,
I don't even know I remember, I mean, but I imagine,

(36:05):
but I remember thinking, like, imagine dropping all those files
and all that being fucked up and then he fucking
falls on it. That was funny, very it was very funny.
I don't think that joke holds up as far as
the technology, but as far as well executed and the
droppage of the paper, and it's like classic. It's like

(36:28):
a number one joke telling you know what I mean,
Like there's you know what I mean, it's it's good jokes.
We just we just I slipped first of all. The
sound effect of the slip was funny, and then crash,
and then I just get right back up like nothing happened.
I leave like one hundred and whatever five hundred files
on the ground that people's private documents, right all of

(36:48):
their all of the right right right right all of
your patient doctor confidentiality whatever, whatever it is the window. Now,
is this Lonnie's first appearance as my intern? I don't know,
I know he it's it's not his first appearance on
the show because he's in the pilot. Yes, for those
of you who don't recall that bit of trivia, Mike Hobert,

(37:11):
who was the little brother of Tim Hobert, one of
our great writers, played the pizza delivery guy in the
MRI machine or a Cat's cam machine whenever it was
in the pilot. When when when Turk jokingly says I
love you and and now he's back. Now, do you
think that that pizza delivery guy went to know he

(37:33):
couldn't have gone to med school that quickly because it's
only been three years later. So it's one of those
experiences of of of a unless he was already in school.
And that's true. That's I like. I like that explanation better.
Lonnie is is Lonnie was paying for med school delivering

(37:56):
pizzas and and and and now he's Jad's intern. But
this is the first time he is yea, this is
the first time he's linning the intern. Okay, uh, let's
talk about Carlin not being funny. This is something that
Judy would talk about all the time. Yeah, Judy wanted

(38:16):
it more comedy, and Bill was always like, no, you're
like the heart of the show. You're like that you
really she's everyone. And she was like, fuck that shit,
I want jokes, right, So he gave her a joke
and then made it so that she wasn't funny. She
gave her a joke and the joke was that she
wasn't funny. It so fucked up. That's like Machiavellian shit, Like, okay,

(38:37):
you know what you joke is that you're not funny.
That's pretty funny. Let's what about what about j D?
I mean, in what world would JD have the balls, audacity,
disrespects to be trying to get trying to get it
was I think it was a golfers trying to get

(38:57):
it in LaVerne's cleavage, Like, in what world is that happened?
But that fantasy where she daggles me is hilarious. She
gets up on the god they would make Aloma do
some crazy shit. Yeah, yeah, she she randy macho man,
savage elbow drops you. I mean she had a don't
get me wrong, Aloma had a good stunt double. But

(39:18):
they but they, but Aloma was game to do like
the Okay, Aloma, you're gonna get up and jump on
these mats. She was down the right, let's go, let's cut.
You know this episode when this, this whole episode reminded
me when I was a kid, I was like, I
want this to be like the corn Pops commercial for me,

(39:40):
because those commercials were always really dope. It was awesome
that you did the voiceover for the show and everything,
but I didn't want to sound like you, you know
what I mean. More than anything, what I wanted to
do was I want to make it sound different. I
wanted to be if I were, you know, on the
show and the one thing that I grew up loving.

(40:01):
And I think maybe that's why my voice is so
energetic when I'm doing the voice over and stuff. And
I always wanted to be in it, and none of
my I never got to be in it, but all
of my friends, like Duley was in one. A young
lady by the name of Chinnana from my neighborhood was
in one with the corn Pops commercials. You're talking about
gotta have my pops. I gotta have my pops. Dude,

(40:24):
I wanted to be in one of those commercials so bad, right, Yeah,
and so when this came about, I was like, Yo,
this is my gotta have my Pops moment. And so
that's all. You were very funny, and you didn't You
definitely did put your own spin on it. You didn't
you know, you didn't do like the oh, I'm just
gonna do JD's version of it. I thought you made
it your own. Yeah, I tried to. Now, all of

(40:45):
a sudden, there's a mailbox in the middle of the
parking lot, which which is like the weirdest, like, why
not put the mailbox in a place that we have
not established as I mean that's basically a parking spot. Yeah,
I mean when you finally do mail the invitation is
at the end, it wobbles, like, come on, guys, now,

(41:06):
did you pick up the IT references in this episode? No,
because I hadn't seen it at the time. No, I'm
saying now I didn't even I've never seen it even
the latest incarnation. But well, there's there's both clowns. There's
both clowns and Judy hiding in the mailbox. A law
of the sewer thing. Well that reference does remind me

(41:29):
of it? That did remind me of it. And the
clowns I didn't put the clown I didn't either. Scrubs
wiki yeaow. Good job, Good job, Trevor. So some of
this is written by Mark Stegman, a very funny man,
and somewhere I mean, I'm assuming it might just be
a coincidence, but I'm it might be some many people
read it. Speaking of reading it, I want to just

(41:50):
digress for one moment, because remember last week we were
talking about wish I was here, And I think because
we talked about wish I was here, a lot of
people finally watched it. It's on Netflix. If you weren't
one of those people, but a woman wrote a comment
that really moved me, and I want to read it
to you, guys, because it's it's it's a perfect example

(42:10):
of you as an artist. You put something out there
and then people experience it in completely unique ways. And
you and I were I was saying to you on
the podcast that aired today that there was no love story,
and this woman on my Instagram wrote, wish I was
here was one hundred percent a love story. Love for

(42:31):
his art, love for himself, love for his dad, redefining
the relationship with his wife, redefining self respect, his wife
redefining her own self respect, love for his kids. Every
single relationship and character is exploring what it means to
have love. Oh wow, And I was like, that made

(42:53):
my day. She watched your movie better than you watched
your own. Now she saw some thing that I didn't. Now,
of course I read that, and I go, yes, you're right,
of course, and I did comment. I said, well, said,
that's amazing. But my point is is that there's that's
just so cool to me that I put that out there.
I say something like, well, there's no love story, and

(43:15):
someone who the film meant a lot too, is like, oh,
I disagree. It is about love. It's not. It may
not be about romantic love, but it's about love anyway.
I wanted to share that because you, you listening, may
not think that we see the nice things you say
and the and the mean things you say, and we don't.
Occasionally some weeks I don't read any of it. But

(43:35):
some weeks I do read it, and I love that,
and it meant a lot to me. You know, I
always see the mean shit the nice shit always, for
some reason, just goes over my head. You probably do
what a lot of people in the public eye do.
You just scroll for the mean thing, like where's the
motherfucker that hates me? What I used to do? And
then I stew over it, I write something back to that.

(43:57):
Now what you do is you scroll through nice things
to find one mean thing and then you click on
that guy's link and just like look at him, and
then I wanted I signed them up. It's like I
wonder if I could beat this one. Sarah Silverman posted
this thing. Uh, I mean, you cannot believe the shit
this guy was writing on her Instagram. She's screenshot if

(44:19):
you if you're listening, go to Sarry Silverman's Instagram page
if you want, and it would be you know, from
you know, roughly the beginning of the year, and this
guy wrote the most graphic, horrific fucking shit to her.
And then so she, like like a lot of people,
was curious. She clicked on his thing and his thing
is like Dad Christianity, like like like like believe believing,

(44:44):
you know, set your goals and you can achieve your dreams.
Oh my god. The shitty road to her was like
I won't even say what he wrote to her. It's
so bad. I'm just gonna say. Some of the most
vile and inhumane people will out there hide behind religion
as they're freaking why they're a good person, but then

(45:06):
when they step out say some of the most evil
things you could ever say, and then say, but I'm
a Christian. That shit is Oh my god. It doesn't
make me upset because you know, to eat your own
you are who you are, and you do what you do,
whatever whatever. But I always find that really interesting. Take
the Proverbs quote out of your bio if you're a
fucking asshole, right, like, come on, man, because like generally like, okay,

(45:29):
so let's say you're not a religious person, et cetera,
et cetera. But if you listen and you were to read,
you know, the Bible, or you were to read the Koran,
or you were to read the Torah, the message that's
given is a positive message. And so it's like, well,
why not Why wouldn't you want to live that way?

(45:50):
Why didn't wouldn't you want to be a happy person
and treat people with kindness and be of love and
you know what I mean, and and and and and
and believe in a higher purpose and power. So the
people that I believe that and then walk out into
the street and say some of the things that they
say about other people in their religion and other people
in there, you know, beliefs and other people. It's just like,

(46:11):
oh my God, how can you freaking then go back
home and say all praises due to Allah or praise
be to Jesus, or you know what I mean. I
heard Garcetti say on the news this weekend that in
Los Angeles every six seconds someone knew gets COVID nineteen.
Not only that one in five people tested has COVID

(46:34):
nineteen in Los Angeles. Yeah, that's a scary thought. There
are five, there are more than five people living in
my household. And I had to explain to my kids, no, no, no, no, no,
that's not what it means. It doesn't mean, you know,
every five people in America has COVID. It means if
you're tested, most likely every five people in it. The

(46:57):
statistics say that every five one in five people has it.
I can't believe there's still shooting things. I mean, the industry,
with the industry would say, you know, we test every morning.
People learn faiths and shields and we don't want to
shut down this economy. I don't see how we can
go back to work. I don't, well, do they shut
SAG and the other unions shut down commercial production, but

(47:19):
film production and TV production is still happening. I mean,
I feel like it's unsustainable. They we'll see, we'll see
what happens when test. We're at a point where you
should just not even be I mean, unless you're going
to the grocery store. Yeah, you shouldn't be around anyone.
You're absolutely but it's we're at that point. Are you
surprised that film production is still going? Yeah, No, I don't.

(47:42):
I don't. I don't necessarily want to comment on that,
but I do want to comment on the fact why
you're worried somebody's gonna hire you, Like, oh, you know what,
Donald talk shit? I don't want to Hill never talk shit. Well, no,
if dule gets a job over me, so be it.
Man Duley is I love Duley and he deserves some
director was like, you know, I was about to hire
Donald for this giant dot job I'm doing, and he

(48:04):
was talking shit about why film production is still happen
in La. So I hired La you're welcome to lay
your welcome. You're welcome to know. But yeah, I just
I don't see how it's possible. I don't think. I
think once they start doing the testing and stuff again,

(48:24):
and crew members and stuff are starting to come back positive,
because that's what's gonna happen. When they start testing, is
when you will know again if the if the industry
will open up, when the first time they go tests
and ten people from the cast are asymptomatic, or ten
people from the crew or whatever it is are asymptomatic

(48:45):
and have tested positive, that's when they'll be like, oh shit,
uh we need because that's what's happening right now. At
least that's what the news is saying. And you're right,
you know, I'm I'm taking it from the news, and
you know, Denzel says it best. If you don't read
the news, you're not informed, and if you watch the
news or read the news, you're misinformed. So you know,

(49:06):
I don't know what the exact number is, but well
we do know that Garcetti, our mayor, did say that
every six seconds in Los Angeles someone's getting COVID. I'm
just saying, no, who, you know, there are that's like
zombie apocalypse numbers. Dude, it is speaking of zombie That's
what Kobe was talking about today. Kobe was like, dude,

(49:27):
if the zombie apocalypse happened right now, America's done for man,
all these other places might do better than we are
because we fucking keep fucking. All we do is just go.
We just keep fucking up. This is zombie apocalypse. We
wouldn't stay in and we're away from the zombies. We
don't make some money with us. I know this is
our test, this is our zombie apocalypse test, and we've

(49:49):
really failed. I do want to speak to zombie apocalyps.
I want to give a shout out to two podcasts. Now,
you should never listen to another podcast before you listen
to this one. Agreed. But and I took a road
trip and up to the North Bay and binged two
podcasts that were amazing. One is called Chameleon the Hollywood

(50:10):
con Queen, which is this true story of a woman
who is conning film production people and making them fly
to Indonesia and taking their money. But it's fascinating. And
then the other one we binged for the road trip.
If you're if you're going on the long road trip
or even by the way, since I was trying to

(50:31):
inspire everyone to exercise. Podcasts again after you've listened to
this one are great for just getting on the treadmill
or walking around your neighborhood or whatever. The other one
we binged was oh called Dirty John, which is now
I believe a TV show which we're gonna watch. But
this was the La Times reporting on this guy. And

(50:56):
I don't want to ruin anything, but both of those
are as binge worthy as your favorite TV show. Donald,
I laughed out loud when Carl's in the mailbox and
she starts pulling you in and you did your I
think this is where the Donald Fason scream came from.
I think that's where Donald screams that. I first saw
it on Clueless when you're in the when you're in

(51:16):
the jeep knowing the gem, I go ah, I screamed
like A. I screamed like A. I don't scream with
the high pitch. I don't do that scream. Oh. I
think this is the first time. Anyway, it's hilarious. There's
something so funny about you doing that face and screaming.
It makes me laugh. It was funny, And I don't
think Judy was really in the mailbox when we're doing that,
so I'm pretending that I'm being grabbed by someone, right.

(51:39):
It would have been a lot funnier if you ask me,
if I could if there was a hand that pulled
out when I pulled away, that came out and then
pulled me back in. But you know, not so much. Well,
the mailbox was I mean, I don't know why who.
I really don't remember this director, but I don't I
don't agree with his choice of just putting a mailbox
randomly in a parking lot that everyone who knows the

(52:01):
show knows. I mean, there was no mailbox there. It
was recently added. Okay, we're gonna take a break, and
when we come back, we have lots more to talk about,
and we have a beautiful fan who better be in
a onesie because the guy last week really set the
bar high wearing. All right, we'll be right back and

(52:25):
we're I don't know, in light of today's conversation, if
we should do the gurgle joke. Okay, that's gurgle, gurgo.
San's gonna be like gegel gurgle Elliott, Alright, that's too much.

(52:48):
It's so gross. Alright, gurgel, gurgel. Listen, have you ever
not laughed when you say the word pianist. I'm forty five.
We still giggle at the word pianist. Laughs at that.
It's hard to slapped at you trying to at JD.
Jumping Jones Creek. That was hilarious. That was really funny.
How much how far did you make it? Well, I'm
not exactly sure in terms of a feet and inches,

(53:09):
but let's just say halfway. First of all, Jumping Jones Creek.
This is the weirdest storyline for j D. He has
some free time. Okay, this is this is j D's storyline.
He was thought he was going to be working with
doctor Cox on a on a project on a paper.

(53:30):
He's relieved of his duties because Lonnie takes over. So
he has enough free time that he's hanging out with
teenagers and on a biker skateboard, a bike, a bike
and it's like the Simpsons when he jumps the canyon,
JD's gonna jump Jones Creeks, Yeah, and the kids are
all amping him up and calling him a whimp. Right,

(53:51):
So he first he stopped by the hospital Yeah, he's
got his helmet on, he's got his pads on, and
then and then he and then he only made it
halfway over the Greek. Right, It's so stupid. It's like
it's it's like a cartoon. It is a cartoon. This
is what we're talking about. This was a time, This
was at the time where the show really started to
become like a cartoon where it was like, dude, we

(54:13):
are We're starting to say things and do things that
don't I think end of the end of season three,
I think they were like, how far can we can
we push the wackiness and the stunners craziness. Yeah, to
the point where we eventually get to you as a
goat goat turk. But that's bad. I don't know what
season that was, but that's one of the carry Russell episodes. Yeah,

(54:36):
all right, stay away from my woman, goat turk, My bad, bad.
All right. Elliott is shocked that missus Dawson is hot
with an unattractive husband. That's pretty judgmental of her. Why,
I mean, what the fuck? Ah, I don't, I don't,
you know. I think nowadays it's you know, this has
been something that's always been an issue for I guess

(55:02):
uh people people like when you really think about it,
because it is shocking because you you know, in the
words of Woody Allen, the heart wants what the heart wants,
you know what I mean. Well he said that after
he fell in love with his stepdaughter. But yeah, but
you know exactly what I'm talking about. Who a person

(55:24):
falls in love with. This who a person falls in
love with, and it is nobody's unless it breaks laws,
unless it breaks laws and breaks you know what I mean,
and and and causes harm to people. You know, who
I love is who I love. Dude. You can't people
do when there's a very person, whether it's the man
or the woman. And it's not just that, it's other

(55:47):
things too. It's races, it's freaking it's there, this list, this, this, this,
But let's just focus on the thing that Scrubs is
talking about, which it's no but I'm saying it's nobody's business.
Bombshell of a woman and then her sort of short, nerdy, heavyweight,
you know, not you know, traditionally universally attractive husband walks

(56:07):
in and Elliott is shocked. Yeah, that's the plot point.
That's the plot point. That doesn't make sense to me nowadays.
Maybe it did back then, and I forget that it
did back then, But nowadays it's like yo, you you
know when first of all, when you marry somebody, they
don't look like they look you know, ten years later,

(56:28):
you know, I don't. I don't know how you could
use this as a as a form of comedy. I
think people could do this joke now you were talking
about last time, about punching down and all that stuff.
I wonder if a comedy would do this joke today.

(56:48):
Where where is it funny? Though? But where is it funny? Well,
the joke is the joke of the show, which leads
to her saying, what's your secret? And she and she
gives her the plot, the plot device of Oh I
just want someone. I don't care. You know, all I
care about is that I found the guy who's there
whenever I need him, and I love him, love, blah

(57:08):
blah blah. But I wonder in today's climate, if you
would do a story that's that at the heart of
it was Wow, it's shocking how unattractive her partner is.
I mean, probably a fool story. But if you think
about every adult animating cartoon is that plotline essentially absolutely
In margin family Guy, Yeah, bos Burgers has it a

(57:33):
little bit sometimes on the Linda is much more of
a down to earth mom than most of the other
cartoon moms. But but it's like that with all of them,
you could go back from my dream of Genie to
freaking Uh, those weren't Those weren't bewitched? Those weren't I mean,
I guess you could say that the traditional these are
guys king of queens when you look at it, dating
way out of your league. Every and every sitcom it's

(57:56):
like that though the dad is dating is somehow way
out of his league, whether it be not only and
not only physically physical attributes, but mental attributes also. But yet,
you know, I think you guys are missing my point, right,
Those are just examples of like, of course they put
the shlovy guy with the hot white My point is, uh,

(58:19):
in today's climate where people are are are being more
sensitive to people's feelings and quote unquote punching down. If
you if that's the right term, would you would you
do a joke that's about like, oh my god, I
can't believe how ugly her husband is. I mean, I
don't know I just, I just I don't think so, yeah,

(58:40):
I just don't think that. I don't think that joke
is funny anymore. I think it's humor at the expense
of someone else in and with a you know, a
situation that is out of their control, you know, right,
because like it's it's clear, it's clear that Brad Pitt
didn't do it for the young lady we meet in
an hour and a half of we made it in
an hour with that. You bring it up, Brad Pitt, Well,
I just know you love him. I do, but I

(59:01):
feel like you have. I feel like my crush is
rubbing off on you. No, I still love I still
love Leo. All right, should is the guy still out
out here? Let's invite the guests in all Let's welcome
them to our to our home high to Santana Gully,
Santana Gully Santana. That yeah, teletherapy. So his name is

(59:37):
like saved in there Forever, Courtney and Keisha, listen, everyone's favorite,
every guest favorite part of the being on the show
is getting their Oprah voice from Donald. So we don't

(59:59):
we don't want to. I want to make sure you
get it right. I hear everybody else's, you know, introductions.
I hear you guys doing the random names. I'm waiting
for the random Courtney. But I guess Courtney is a
random enough yet, Courtney. Let's shout out Courtney, y'all, shout
out all the courts and Courtney's one of those names.
Courtey's one of those means you can have both for
men and females, male and females, so to Courtney's of
all genders. Yes, Hi, guys, what's going on? Guy in

(01:00:27):
the show? Where are you? Where are you? Where are
you calling from? All right enough to be on here.
We're in a Phoenix Arizona Beatnix, Arizona with the baby
and the back. I need you to say, right right now,
that's my life. Right now. Come get these kids because
they bat Ain't nobody coming to get your kids? Are
young kids. I got kids already. I ain't going to
get your kids. Oh my god, what a beautiful Hello Sebastion, Sebastion, baby,

(01:00:56):
say what's up? Say hi, what's up? Sebastian? Hey, beautiful hair, Sebastian.
Sebastian has beautiful hair. No, we appreciate you guys having us.
This is uh this is awesome. It's pretty surreal. Well,
I know I'm actually the Scrubs fan in the house.
We are both the Scrubs fans in the house. I'm

(01:01:20):
the I'm the bigger, better one, but you know we
appreciate you. All right, Guys, do you have a question
after all this fun introduction, Yes, we do. So. Like
I said, I'm trying to put us on and I
already like do the longing thing and kind of like

(01:01:43):
social media stuff. So I keep telling him, like I
won't ever get life say this ever again. But he's
kind of funny. He's kind of funny, Guys, Explain funny
because you know that down real quick. Sometimes he says
funny things like, oh, and so I'm telling him, I
said we could do something together. We can work together.

(01:02:04):
She bakes something funny. Now she thought we was funny funny.
Well we met and now she don't think I'm funny ever.
She's just doing this. I'm telling him we could just
to work together a podcast something, and he just won't
let me have my dream. He won't. He won't work
with me. And we met through work, so I don't
know why he won't work with me anymore. So Wait,

(01:02:25):
what's your question is? Is this fix your life? Can
you give me some advice? How can I get this? Man? Oh,
we got to fix your life already. Okay, all right,
let's start with fix your life. Hold on, we need
our fix your Life music. It's time to fix your lie.
All right, you're at the right place, guys, because we
can tell you how to work together. You want to

(01:02:47):
work together, and it's very easy. You need to have
someone who's gonna take care of those children for you
while you take an hour and a half. Do you
have someone who can help out? Nope? I mean you
could work it out, or you can do while they're sleeping. Yes.
If I was you, guys, I would. It's very easy
to just hurt. I mean, just do it. Put your

(01:03:09):
phone on the record and sit down and have a conversation.
Give yourself a couple of promps, like things that you
guys both find funny. You know what I mean, the
same stuff. So if you said, all right, we're going
to talk about these ten areas that make us both
laugh and then just start talking, you don't have to

(01:03:29):
mean this is in the example of collaborating for a podcast.
You don't have to worry about if it's all good
because you can edit it down. But if you guys,
if you have areas, like the perfect example is Joel
and Donald have an area that they find interesting, star Wars.
They can go off and talk about Star Wars for
hours and hours and hours. Now if you and your
husband have like, oh my god, we find these subjects

(01:03:50):
funny and this makes us laugh. And we have a
unique perspective because we're parents. We can talk about it
from a parenting point of view, we can talk about
it from a phoenix point of view. You know, all
the other aspects of your life, and then just riff,
just talk like you do and crack each other up.
And then of course you'll want to go back and
edit out the slow parts or edit out the stuff
that wasn't funny. But bam, there's your first episode. See Joel,

(01:04:14):
you're a you're a producer. Give them more advice. Yes,
as you guys work together, don't be afraid if your
first pilot is not great. Donald and I recorded two
or three pilots before we got it right. I feel
like there's uh not everybody has a fortune of having
the Zack and Donald like banter back and forth that's
very easy to follow. So instead of trying to make

(01:04:35):
it perfect from the get I would say, make it
something that you enjoy doing and coming back to because
a lot of people are like, oh, podcasts it's easy.
It's not easy. It's it's actual work, especially by the
time you're in the fiftieth or sixteenth episode and you're like, gosh,
talk about the same stuff today. So making something that
you guys enjoy doing. And I think you're fortunate that
it's a couple like you guys are a couple and

(01:04:55):
you get to like set aside time and you can
make it a fun thing instead of something that's a
chore and then something you enjoyed doing for like a
long time hopefully. Yeah, And it's a great way. I
love that you guys want to do it. It's a
great way to uh communicate also and talk about and
talk about things that you wouldn't necessarily talk about, uh
when the microphone isn't recording you. You know, Uh, there's

(01:05:21):
there's something really freeing and uh liberating about being behind
a microphone and talking to your best friend and uh
and uh you know, expressing yourself and you wind up
saying things that you necessarily wouldn't say because one you're
showing off for the audience. One even though you mean it,
you're and two you have a platform to say it now.

(01:05:44):
And so, uh, there's an and that's kind of what's happened.
Like listening to your show, there'll be times with sitting
back and like he'll start cracking up as something you
guys have said, and I'm just like, I don't think
that was really funny. He's like, because you didn't get it,
because this is what happens. And so but that's good.
By the way, I always find, you know, when we
when we have fuck ups here or we're talking to

(01:06:06):
the behind the scenes stuff, we we for the most
part keep it in because people, I think find that interesting.
If I was if I was producing a podcast with
a funny couple like I can already tell you guys
are and then you and then ship got serious and
it got into like a real heart to heart about
something in your life, I would I would lean in.
I'd be more interested. There's a great there's a great podcast.

(01:06:27):
Actually it was the podcast that started there was the
inspiration for the show. I did. Alex Sink and the
Alex who was the star of his podcast first season
of a startup. He would record, like his real conversations
with his wife when when shit was heated and and
she knew satan it wasn't doing it so secretly, but
but when they would get into it, he'd be like, Babe,

(01:06:48):
this is sorry, this is part of the podcast. I
gotta record, and she would she was begrudgingly. She'd be like,
all right, well then let's have it out. And it
was fascinating. It was really good. All right, good, I'm
glad to hear that. So I cannot now that you've
co signed, Donnie, I'm sure gonna be on board because
we can't wait to listen. Courtney, do you have a

(01:07:10):
question for us? Because I know you were on kid Patrol,
do you have a question for us? Ask how about that?
Oh my goodness, all right, they're switching. Oh I wanted
to hear that. You're gonna listen to it back? Yeah,
I got it back. I wanted to hear that. So

(01:07:32):
we were also discussing if you guys have the chance
to be on a reality show together, like which show
Amazing Race, we donald have to be Amazing Race, be
Amazing Race. That would be a good one Amazing Race
because Donald will be good with the athletic aspects. I
not now not, I'd be good with the planning. You'd
have to listen to me. Shoo. I'd be like, we're
catching that bus. Run run, run, like I'd be good

(01:07:54):
with the planning if you're counting on me for athletics
right now, Oh buddy, no you The thing that would
get us both would be the puzzles. And if you
ever watch Amazing Race, but all of a sudden, they're like,
solve this puzzle to win the next thing, and then
I can never solve the puzzle, and I'm like, oh,
I'd be I'd be lasting that puzzle. What other reality

(01:08:15):
show will be gone? I would love to be like
on real role, you would fucking win Dancing with the Stars.
He would win, Donald would win, or something like that.
Donald would win Dancing with the Star. No, no, no, no, no, no, yeah,
my my, the ultimate, the ultimate one Dancing with the Stars. Already,

(01:08:36):
there is no need for another black man to ever
be on Dancing with the Stars. After Alfonso Verberro has
shared down, it is shut down. It is a rap
for anyone else. Listen, I don't care who you are
if you were on a sitcom ever in the history
of sitcoms, and you are African American, there's no need
to go on Dancing with the Stars anymore. Alfonso shut

(01:08:59):
it down, of us. I'm just saying, I know you,
I know you don't want to go on Answer the Stars.
But of course you know. His question is which show
would you go on? And I what about the mask Dancer,
that new one. No, I wouldn't go on Mask Dancer,
a mass singer either. Man. If I had to do
a reality show, it would be one of those ones
like win Massinger two. Donald, you could win mass Singer two.

(01:09:25):
I'm telling you, Donald, I haven't seen the mask dancer.
How do they dance with their masks on? I don't
know either popular It's like the same kind of concept
with masks. These are reality shows though these are game shows.
You know, we should go on, we should go on.
We should on a feud. Oh my god, Oh my god,

(01:09:47):
that'd be so much fun. That would be hilarious, like
it was for charity. If it was for charity, and
like our cast gets back together and we do like
family feud, that that would be so dope. Us us first,
the office, Oh, my gosh, Oh my god. First Malcolm
in the middle verse, Oh my gosh. You remember Richard

(01:10:07):
Dawson with Richard Dawson would kiss every woman? Do you
remember that anymore? Not in the COVID time? No, no,
But do you remember the old school family feud, like
like three hosts ago when we were growing up, it
was Richard Dawson. If you guys can look on YouTube,
just put in Richard Dawson family feud, creepy kissing, and
every woman would get like a sensual kiss sometimes on
the lips. I'm watching like old school prices, right, and

(01:10:31):
Bob Barker is doing the same thing. Really, Richard Dawson.
Can you name that movie? Can you name that Arnold
Schwartzenegger movie? Yea, Dawson was running, running, running Man, Running Man.
That's right where he goes back. He's the one he
said I'll be back to you. He no, he said,
he said, Aldom said to him, I'll be back, and
Richard Dawson looks at him and goes Only in a rerun,
Pal only, Richard Dawson was great in that movie. Yeah

(01:10:55):
he was. Yeah, he was the biggest guy in it.
Only in a rerun Pal that's right. That anyway, what
we've learned today on the show is that Donald should
go on Mass Singer and win. Yes, thank you all,

(01:11:20):
no plug it, plug your plug looking us. She's done
a good job. She's advocating for our son. I do
a lot of the blogging and influencing stuff I do
is about, you know, the Black experience with autism, because

(01:11:40):
our experiences attend bit different than everybody else's. We have
a couple of extras with our children. Can you explain
that Wait, we want to plug your blog about it,
but can you explain in Layman's terms for people who
know nothing about it, including myself, how is the Black
experience different with autism? With autism, we like it's especially
when it comes to the things you hear in the news.

(01:12:02):
When Black people don't just have to worry or teach
our children about the special needs. We also have to
worry about how they interact with the police. Because my
child he has sensory processing disorder as well, so there
are a lot of sensory issues and things that he

(01:12:23):
might not respond to very well. And I don't feel
like white parents really have to worry about these things
because you see it in the news. Remember when the
guy in Florida got shot and he was the behavioral
therapist for the kid and all he had was like
a train in his hand. Our son recently was called

(01:12:46):
a racial slur at therapy and it's like, see, on
top of him being a therapy now he's getting bullied
because of his race. And that's not something that other
people have to worry about. And some of the resources
that are lable for other people. People feel like these resources,
when you use them, it makes you kind of less

(01:13:08):
than and that's not always the case. So it's an
example what an example of some of the resources that
people think like, especially for people with special needs, Like
I recently did a video for the City of Masa here.
The city of Masa's is actually the country's first autism
certified city, So that means that everybody has training on

(01:13:31):
how to de escalate situations, including the police department. So
if you tell the police department, hey, my child is autistic,
they don't come in guns blazing. They come in knowing
what they're dealing with and their first priority is to
de escalate the situation. So we recently did some stuff

(01:13:51):
with Mason. We went out and we tried out different
things so they could so I can see firsthand. I
know you said it's a autism certified city, but like
you know, I wanted to know what that meant exactly
what does that mean for me and my family? So
they give you like sensory guides so I know that
if my kid has a sensitivity that loud noises, then
this might not be the best fit for him. Or Yeah,

(01:14:13):
so you're saying, are you the community is sort of
a laboratory in a sense where they're saying, so there's
signage like I'm just making it up like this this
experience is it could be could be triggering for an
autistic child. I see. That's fascinating. Yeah. The president and
the CEO of this of the visit masays what it's called.
He kind of reached out to me via Instagram and

(01:14:34):
he's like, I see what you're doing over here. I
want you to come and just try out everything we
have here because we're we are an autistic certified city.
So when you come and check into the hotel, if
you tell them that you have a child with special needs,
they're going to make sure to accommodate you, to make
sure that they are accommodating to make sure that they
speak certain language so that you can understand if they
see my child being loud, They're not just going to

(01:14:56):
assume I'm being a bad parent or something like that.
They know that they're extra. There's something extra going on there.
But yeah, what's what's the blog? What's the blog so
people could find out more about it's very interesting. I'm
sure our listeners would say. It's called the Keisha project
dot com. And my name is spelled k I s
H eight And what's your Instagram handle? Panama Kish and

(01:15:24):
that's a Panama And then k I s h Yes,
all right, look my husband plugged me. Yes, well you're
doing I think it's a great cause. Now I'm just
trying to make the world a better place for our
child and everybody else's children too. Well, thank you for
what you're doing. And your children are both beautiful and

(01:15:44):
have the most beautiful smiles, and your husband and you
seem like you have a very good relationship. I would
listen to the podcast see you guys talking. Thank you,
But now that we know the thing about the autism,
I would I would also say, you know, you can
have that be a part of the of your podcast,
ask where you guys. You know, you talk about you know,
your your your own personalities, and you're funny and you

(01:16:05):
and you have your banter, but then you have serious
chats about what it's like to be parents of an
autistic child. I mean, there's so many parents I think
that would listen to that and and and get related
to that, especially when he's out flying all day long.
So you know, my husband's a pilot. So you guys,
just like you guys, leave a lot of information out

(01:16:26):
when your husband's a pilot. Yeah, that's how we met.
I was a flight attendant and he's a pilot. Okay,
So as a cliche, get together, but it Kesha. It's
called burying the lead when you when you leave the
headline for the last thing, She's like, oh and also,
my my husband's a fighter jet pilot and uh oh

(01:16:51):
did I mentioned that I'm the mayor of Mason. Well anyway,
thank you guys so much, Fly safe, thank you for
coming on. Take care of y'all. But bye. That was lovely.

(01:17:11):
That was very sweet. Yeah, can we talk about Mickhead
once again? With the timing coming in with the timing,
Mickhead's back not only is he back, he comes through
with the joke you are you hitting it with the
whole without having to say that. Yeah, and then Kelso
now's Kelso's trying to have everyone in the hospital think

(01:17:34):
he's having an affair with Bellamy, right, which is a
conversation we didn't talk about. Doctor Cox sees that Kelso
is trying to rope in this new doctor in the
hospital to the dark side, and he tries to intervene,
and at the end of the day, she's like, no, wait,
hold up, you I get it. Yeah, he's a bad man,

(01:17:57):
but if it benefits me in any way, you best
believe I'm taking a ride with the bad man. Cox
has met his match. Yeah, and Bellamy young Yeah and
Cox and she's beautiful too. I honestly forgot if they
get together. No, they do, they do not. He's he's
married to Jordan and everything like that. Oh yeah, but

(01:18:19):
I out if I forgot, if there was ever like
a v I'm not falling you. No no, no, no,
no no no. Uh. Krista was not going to allow
Bill to write that Johnny, she would ever choose another
woman over doctor Jordan. No, no, no. Can we talk
about how beautiful Bellamy youngest. Yeah, she's a knockout. She really,

(01:18:42):
she really is. And she's a great actress, and she's
funny and she's she's the whole We all know she's
a great actress. She was on Scandal for so long.
I mean, doesn't she become President of the United States
on Scandal at some point? Something like that. Nelly certainly
does love Joelle. Are you you must be into Seawan Lanner?
Are you watching them? The British one? Whatever it's called? Oh?

(01:19:04):
I binged it? Yeah, it's a journey. It's really intense.
Is it like a soap opera? It's like or is it? Yeah,
it's it's basically like you're standing called novel romance thing.
What really stunned me. The wigs and the costumes are
like out of the park. Good is there? Sensational? I

(01:19:27):
could watch just the gowns coming and going and that
could be the show and it would be wonderful. What
about go ahead? What about go ahead? Go ahead? Okay?
What about what about Christopher? You go ahead? You go ahead?
What about this one? Christopher? What about there you go Christopher?

(01:19:54):
We could do that for a half hour. What about
when she goes Ristopher and then turns around and goes, Christopher.
You only call me Christopher when you're mad or when
we're having sex. Baby, are you mad when we're having sex?
A little yeah? Or she goes sometimes sometimes that's funny.

(01:20:17):
That's real talk, though, because you know, listen man, listen man.
My wife loves me, and I know she loves me,
and I know there are times where we're having sex
and she's so pissed off that she's having sex at
that moment in time, where she's like, this motherfucker made me.
Don't ask. Don't you have the skills to bring her around?
Turn around? I don't think any man does. I'm gonna

(01:20:39):
be honest with you. I don't think any I don't
listen you. That's a fantasy, that's bullshit. I disagree with you, homeboy.
I feel like I feel like we are men are
the weak ones when it comes to sex. We're the
ones that has to freaking if anything changes in a situation,
the man will be like, at least in my situation,

(01:21:01):
I can't speak for everybody. I'll speak for me that
I'll never take this back. I speak for me. I
could be like, baby, let's have sex and she's like no,
I don't want to be like come on, and she'd
be like, fine, no, have it and we'll have sex,
and she'd be like, all right, you're done. Good. Fine.
She could be like you want to have sex and
I'll be like no, I don't want to have sex,
and she'd be like really, and I'll be like no,
I don't want to have sex, and then halfway through
I'll be like, I'm so glad we happened sex. This

(01:21:22):
is the best thing ever. This was the best thing ever.
Thank you. Ever. I didn't know. I didn't know this
was what I wanted. This is what I wanted, and
I should have known it. She'll be has it ever
happened that Casey's wanted sex and you've not wanted sex? No?

(01:21:45):
I didn't think so I had to think about it.
I had to think about it. There have been times together,
uh shit, eleven, thirteen, fourteen, something like that, a lot
of a long time. We've been together for a really
long time, fourteen, somewhere in between eleven and somewhere between.
Sound that something like that. We were together six years

(01:22:06):
before we got married. Right, Well, I think you met
you started flirting at my thirtieth birthday party. That's when
we started flirting, which would be sixteen years ago. And
you're forty six now. So yeah, no, I'm forty five, motherfucker.
You'll be forty six this year and a couple of
months and a couple of months, I made them as
a clown. I made them. The only thing JD could

(01:22:28):
make in terms of balloon animals was eels. He made
balloon eels. I also laughed out loud when JD is
trying to tell the family that their grandfather died in
clown makeup and all of a sudden his boats highest.

(01:22:48):
That was very funny. I laughed at that too. I'd
like to finish the episode Donald by talking about something controversial.
I have never seen judge dread. Okay, of the versions,
no version about every do I need to? I mean,
they're fun. I'm gonna say no, I just don't. I

(01:23:10):
don't think Zach's gonna like them. Well, of course he's
not gonna like them. Suggests watch them. He's saying, for like,
the nostalgia can't be fact, Like if you want to
laugh at like, you want to see Stallone with his
really blue eyes in h So the premise is that
he doesn't. There's no time for a judge and jury anymore.

(01:23:31):
The cop decides your sentence on the spot. He is
the law. Well, Zach, here's a very brief history. Jeff
Dread was a satirical comic written in Britain about the
United States police and and somewhat about their police officers too.
So it's like it's a really wonderful satire about like
what if you lived in a police state? But oftentimes
when it gets retold or reinterpreted, the satire part floats

(01:23:54):
out the window and they take it very seriously and
he's viewed as a hero. And so those movies are
like very comedic because you're like this, the entire point
of the comic book, which was trying to make a
point about it, feels like somebody should remake it with
with they did? They did me remake it? They did?
Did they take the satire the same ship again as
the same movie again? I would say they even went further.

(01:24:17):
Who was really a really good actor the dude from Yeah,
the dude from Lord of the Rings and all of
those other thing. He's on the Boys right now, the
lead on the Boys. Should I watch the Boys? I
hear the Boys never watched it. I keep hearing Carl Urban,
Carl Urban, Carl Urban's Donald Boys is good. Donald, you

(01:24:38):
would love the Boys. It's about superheroes. Yeah. So wait,
it sounds like Damian Lindeloff, with his skills for doing
the Watchman, should take on Judge Dread. That's a great idea, dude. Nice.
By the way, Joel, did you see that I tweeted
at you a gift of that that very handsome man.

(01:25:01):
What's I did? What's his name? He's doctor Manhattan in
the series. Yeah, is it? Joel? Was like someone carrying
me off to bed. I'm exhausted, and I sent her
the gift of him and then and then but they
cropped off where his blue penis would be. There was
no blue peen in it, which was you know, I
appreciate it. I have a question when you're in the makeup,

(01:25:22):
when you're in the makeup trailer and they're doing your
whole body and turning it blue and they're like, all right,
now it's time for your penis. Do you think they're like,
all right, man, why don't you do your penis? Or
someone down there? There's no there's no way that that's
his Penis that should a CG? Dude? No, I think
he's fully makeup up blue. Have you seen it, Donald,
because you probably didn't want It's very accurate, is it?

(01:25:45):
Is it like ginormously big? It's a very nice pens large.
He's a shower, but like he's a shower. It's not monstrous.
It's not like commonsly long. It's not like it's it's
not like distracting. And I guess it is distracting to
some people. You guys are talking about it. Why did
you watch Watchman? I can't believe it. You haven't. I watched.

(01:26:07):
I watched the first episode and I was really into it,
and then something happened and I stopped watching, and I
haven't watched the rest of it. You know, I don't
watch you know, I don't watch anything. I watched watch
Men twice. Also, by the way, for the record, I've
now seen Soul, which I enjoyed. But but but aside
from that Watchman, Donald, if you don't got watch one thing,

(01:26:28):
we recommend watch Watchman. It's so good, all right, guys,
haven't got to be the show. Yes, that is a show.
That's a long one. It's a long we couldn't stop talking. Sorry,
sorry about anything. We're sorry for We love you, guys,
We're We'll be back on Tuesday with a new show.
And what else Donald tell people love them well, I

(01:26:51):
do love you, you know, I do love you all.
I love you tremendously. And you know there are a
lot of distractions out there right now, and a lot
of things out there to make you angry and make
you unhappy with that. I just say this, Say hi baby, Oh,
say hi baby, Hi. Yeah, Hi Wilder says Hi Wilder.

(01:27:14):
Can you sing the theme? Say Say, Say, Say, don't
worry about a thing. Everything's gonna be all right. Say that,
say don't worry, don't worry. Anything is gonna be all right.
Everything say Everything's gonna be all right, Everything's gonna be
all right. On that though, we can't top night everybody,
five six, seven eight, Sorry about We made about a

(01:27:36):
bunch of docs and nurses' story. So get around you here,
gather around here. Free m

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Donald Faison

Zach Braff

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