518: My New Suit

On this week's episode, JD's underachieving brother Dan returns for a surprise visit. In the real world, we're talking pearl necklaces and Superman's orgasm.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you like my crystals? They're very nice. I thought
they were. I thought it was a pearl necklace. I'm
not gonna lie. You thought someone gave me a pie.
Do you mean the literal pearl necklace or the sexual
in sexual pro necklace. No, obviously a literal pearl necklace.
It doesn't look like the sexual pearl necklace sexual pearl necklace.

(00:20):
The sexual pearl necklace looks more like ropes one. Have
you ever given a pearl necklace of any Have you
ever given either? Kind of Sorry, I think we should
go around the room. Let's go around the room. Received.
I don't think you can ask them. These two are
our quote unquote um workplace friends. But indeed, but we

(00:43):
can ask each other. It goes like you and I
can ask each other, But the minute it goes into
the other people that are on, I feel like I
feel like a I heart harmy. Like you can't ask
Danlon Joel if they've given or received well, I can't
give can you imagine that? Call? Hey, guys, it's not

(01:11):
show shows great by the way, M one one one
one one. You can't ask Danil and Joel if they've
received pro necklak. Yeah, this show just started. It just started.

(01:31):
Did you have fun doing our live show? I had
a great time doing a live show. I'm not gonna
lie to you. I was nervous. I was like, how
are we going to top the last one? Zach's talking
about all of these freaking secret guests. I know one
of them is gonna be Bill. I'm hoping, like I
was thinking, it was gonna be like Bill, Krista and Sarah.

(01:55):
But Roma, that's would have had Sarah too. Listeners, just
so you know, and those of you who watched it,
but she was shooting her new fancy show and Lane
and Michael Spiller was directing her, so there you go.
Oh so Mike Spiller wouldn't let her out. He actually
texted me He's like, sorry, I can't get you Sarah.

(02:17):
I'm like, you, dick. That's a dickhead move, Mike. But anyway, listen, um,
were you until Bill fucking ruined it? Were you surprised
about Alma? I was so surprised about Alma. And even
when Bill ruined it, that shit was funny, man, she
was so funny. I didn't realize she was gonna be
so sassy. She was. I know, the characters sassy, but
Alma was sassy. She was sassy. I think there was

(02:39):
a little bit of pin pent up anger for the
you know, she was like, I bought an escalade, was
thinking about her escalade. She I assumed she leased it
and then she just had to turn in the least
or something that sucks. I felt bad about that. I
wouldn't tell that story, but Bill, maybe tell that story.
Girl was like, tell the story for you guys who
were wondering. You'll have to watch watch the live show

(03:01):
and listen. Well, they can listen. By the time this aeras,
they won't be able to watch anyone. That's right, you
can listen. Um wait a second, um, Aloma. Yeah, she
did have some pent up hostility about being killed. Yeah,
there was a little bit of But then she did
say bad. She did say Bill, thanks for my retirement.
That was nice. Well, yeah, it was a great I

(03:22):
mean she was on four. Did she do nine seasons
or did she just do the eight? Like who went
on to do the ninth? I don't know, goes there.
I wasn't there. It was Rob on that season. I
don't know, dude, I don't remember the ninth season. I
really don't. Joel can you look that up? Did Aloma
and Rob did season nine? I don't remember, would you
take I'm sure Rob was there? Rob. Rob wasn't gonna

(03:43):
be like, sorry, I'm moving on. No, didn't Rob go
on to do it? He was doing soaps at that time,
wasn't he Wasn't he doing soaps at the same time
of season nine? No? Yeah he was. Yeah, ask Bill?
This is to ask Bill. Question Bill. We could ask
Joel to Google. But okay, Bill, and how about as
takes forever and then never fucking replies he's this is

(04:05):
Daniel has to track him down for months often I do, Hey, Daniel,
can we hook up a thing where we can call
Rob like live during the show. I feel like he would.
I feel like he would answer the phone and we
could ask him questions. Yes, we could. If somebody wants
to hook their phone up to their zoom so we

(04:27):
can send We can certainly sort you out some equipment.
Can you send me the gear that would enable me
to do that? Because I think it would be funny, Like,
let's just randomly call Rob and see what he's doing.
We could randomly call Bill or randomly can Yeah, we
could randomly call people. Yeah, I think it was a
nice new features. We've got a new feature coming. It's

(04:50):
called Into what You're Trying to Do and the random call. Anyway,
these my friend has a crystal company. Then I'm on
a shout out because solely because she sent me lots
of free crystals. H vibes dot store es just like
vibes the word vibes dot store if you're into crystals

(05:12):
and crystal stuff. So I don't know anything about the
power of crystals, but she said, if I wear this
long what Donald called pearl necklace, it's not They're clear,
they're not pearl colored. And she would tell you exactly,
it ain't have enough protein in it. Oh my god.
And she also sent me these two where I've had
them all on all day. How do you feel? I

(05:34):
felt good? And then Florence FaceTime and she's like, why
are you wearing all of those beads? And then I
felt less. I felt like a topless girl at Mariti Gras.
But you know what I was feeling a little. I
was feeling stressed, and I was like, you know what,
I don't even know if any of this ship works,
but I'm gonna just put them all on and see
what happens. D Well, do you believe in crystals? Uh? Yeah,

(05:55):
I have many of them. They're all over the place
in my room. I like holding. Weird story, my grandpa
died holding like he had this worry stone. He called it.
He's constantly like he was said or whatever. He would
just rub it. Uh. He died a plane crash he
was holding it. So I had to learn that and
that sort of started my love of like different rocks
and crystals and gems and stuff. Wow, well, I'm open

(06:16):
to it, especially when my friend sent me a box
full of different stuff. There's even a straw, right, a
metal straw with a crystal on around the bottom of it,
and you put it in your drinks and you're whatever
you're drinking gets the magic from the crystal cool. You
know it sounds you know what it sounds like to me?

(06:37):
What a little I thought you were going to go
to A superman goes to his weird said, the Fortress
of Solitude. That's another uncomfortable place. But the way here's
my memory. Not if you don't feel well, hold on

(06:58):
if you don't. Here's the thing. Now, do you know
what a papasan chair is? No? No. All right, Well,
if you're listening and you're curious, Google of Papaisan chair.
They were very popular. They sold him at like you
know those stores that sell international World market kind of thing.
It's like a big bowl, wooden bowl with a cushion

(07:20):
in the wooden bowl and you could move it around
different shapes. Oh yeah, can you picture what I'm talking about? Yes, okay,
we had one as a child, and as a little kid,
I thought it was the coolest thing, and we played
it pretend it was a spaceship, the whole thing. So
I see Fortress of Solitude, and I'm like, I remember
thinking as a kid like this looks cold and not cozy.

(07:41):
And then he's hooking up with what's her name and
he's in basically a Papasan chair with satin sheets. He
bangs Lois, Yes, in a satin sheet covered Popasan chair.
But after he lost his powers, Really he isn't have
his powers on. There's no way he could have sex
with her with his flowers. Why he'd shoot her across

(08:03):
the room. He'd kill her. Wait is that a thing? Really?
Come on? Man, he's a super human alien. So I
don't watch any of these super Henry Cavill doesn't ever
have sex. Uh not yet they've had sex from what
I understand, but I imagine he has to take it
really really easy. Yeah, like it wouldn't be like sex

(08:28):
with another Kryptonian, like I bet I imagine with another
Kryptonian it's like thunderclapping, boom every time, boom, right, just
a Superman coming and then Lois Lois fly by, and

(08:53):
then Lois's vagina is like, you honor me, you honor me?
Oh my goodness. On that note, bop six severday about
show we made about a bunch of doctor nurses and stories.

(09:20):
So yadoo around here, yadoo around here. Oh man, I
always know I'm gonna laugh with you guys, even when
I'm racing to get here on time and I'm so
stressed about like, oh do I take enough notes? I
always know I'm gonna giggle with you fools. Where were

(09:41):
you today? I am was am was location scouting in
New Jersey for my new film Cool. Can I ask you? Okay,
So here's a question ahead, Donald Faz and I calling you.
So I start doing this this show, and I'm writing it,
I'm pretty much show running it and everything like that,

(10:01):
but now these auditions are coming up. Yeah, but I'm
doing so much. I'm focused so hard on the show
that it's like, wait, hold up, I don't necessarily have
time to focus on these lines like I wanted to.
That's you think that's ridiculous. You think it is Your
show is well, it will be success, I'm sure, because
you're so talented. But you you've got little mouths to

(10:23):
feed and acting as your specialty, and you gotta you
can't be phoning in these fucking auditions, right. It's hard
to find when your show running, it's hard to find
time to do it all at you know what I mean.
It's what I'm finding, and it's it's it's it's it's
very very difficult to juggle the schedule. I know, man,

(10:46):
I know, but that's what That's what happens when you
hustle at a high level. Bill Lawrence is like literally
running like four shows, right, It's insane. And he's got
three kids and a wife. Yeah that's tough. It's like,
that's that's the that's the thing. Now. It's like, all right,
I definitely want to still be a successful actor. I

(11:08):
definitely still want to put the work in that's needed
to do that. But I really want this show to
be successful and good. I really want people to enjoy it.
You know what I mean? You got to you gotta
practice your time management, because I'm telling you, I'm looking
at a lot of auditions right now for my film,
and if the person is not off book and not
memorized and not prepared, they can't possibly And this is

(11:31):
a lesson to you actors out there. I've said it before,
can't possibly compete with someone who's clearly worked on it
and clearly like we talk about Johnny Seas the extreme,
like hiring people to come in and fucking play all
they know their parts and putting on a metronoman. That's
like the most mega version I ever heard. But like
you see people that come in and there and you're
just like drop jawed at how much work they put in,
how much thought they put into it, how fucking off

(11:53):
book they are that they're feeling comfortable riffing. And then
there's other people holding lines like this and you're like, dude,
you can't possibly compete with the dude who just came
before you. No, there's no way, there's no way. And
so that's especially in the sorry. And the last thing
I'll say is, especially in this whole you know, audition
moved to to zoom world because it used to be

(12:13):
back in the day. You went in the room, you
you made him laugh, you bonded, you like had the
chit chat that could that if you're charming, like you
can buy you a lot of mileage. Maybe now now
it's now it's just zoom. It's like, hey, how are
you all right? Here we go right, that'sh It's so weird.
It's my first time doing as a director obviously, um
because the only other thing I made during the pandemic

(12:35):
with Solos and Anne Hathaway didn't exactly go audition and um,
she didn't have to know she was attached. And so
you know, I've never done this auditioning people over zoom before,
which is very odd. Of course the actors are used
to the whole rigamarole, but me as a as a filmmaker,
it's so it's such an odd experience. It's an odd

(12:56):
way to do it, right, Yeah, So that's that. That's
the thing. It's like, all right, how do I find
time to focus on the show to where I feel comfortable?
You know, I want to be like George Lucas when
when I attached this, but still being being holding myself
accountable enough too before I go to bed, making sure

(13:16):
I know my lines for the audition I have in
the upcoming days. Yeah, well that's I would say, don't
do it right when you're tired, because no one wants
to do shit when they're tired. I would say, like, set,
you know, you gotta look at your week. You know,
I think paper calendars are really helpful for some people.
They certainly are for me. I like to look at
a big ass calendar of the week or the month,
and you can say like, okay, I got this audition

(13:38):
on that day. If I'm gonna get those lines down,
I at least have to do two hours on this day. Okay,
so I blocked those hours out. Okay, now, you know,
and just schedule the shit out of it, right if
you can't just do it on a whim, because you're
gonna be like, oh fuck, I'm just gonna play this
video game for a second, all right, I'm just gonna
watch a second of that game, all right, all right,
Oh I'm gonna suck around and hang out with my
kids for like three seconds and then and then you're

(14:01):
tired and you're done. Yeah, just you know, food for
thought for all of you out there who are who
have busy schedules. I'm wondering how you make it through.
What's your what's your thing? Zach says, Zach says, keep hustling, Zach. Well, listen,
there's an expression that I've heard before that I really
truly believe. Are you ready for it? I'm listening. Some

(14:23):
of you have heard it before, but maybe some of
you haven't. If you want to get something done, give
it to a busy person because they're in the fucking
space of I got this to do, then I gotta
do that. I got this. Someone who's not busy is
like later, I should probably memorize the line, you know.
But when you're in like fucking hustle mode and you're like, Okay,

(14:44):
I gotta do this, I gotta do that, I gotta
do this, I gotta do that, you're fucking you schedule
your ship and you get it down. But you should
definitely not be slacking on your on your auditions. Man
talent to anything. But that's the last thing I want
to do right now is to phone in anything. I'd
rather not do the audition and phone it in. All right,
Should we talk about the show Scrubs? We should. It's
called Mining Suit and it was written by Tim Hobert,

(15:07):
very funny man, and directed by Victor Nelly Jr. A
very talented director. Yes, and I laughed a lot in
this episode. Donald, did you you did? Had to watch it?
I did not. I had to watch it twice. In
the second time, I laughed. I laughed more. I just
I didn't think at first. I was like, this isn't
that funny this, you know what I mean? Like it's
a conditioning episode. It's very it's there's not a lot

(15:28):
that happens. It was probably one of those, um, hey,
we spend a lot of money on last week's episode.
We need one that's a little cheaper. Yeah, well, but
they brought in Tom Kavanaugh, you know what I mean.
And it's like, I don't know. I didn't. I didn't
get Tom's role in the show until the very end.
It's about tough love. Yeah, anything episode is about tough love, right,

(15:50):
But I didn't get that until the end. A lot
of the stuff I understood with Elliott and heard telling
the kid, you know, dude, you lost that weight you need.
If you lost that weight, you'd it would be easy
for you to get in here. But because you didn't,
you got to go to the zoo. That must be
a real thing. I mean that maybe wouldn't have made

(16:11):
that up. That is so fucked up. Yeah, hey, you
know that's how it goes sometimes. I know I'm not
saying that it isn't what they need to do, but
I never heard that, and I'm sure they didn't make
that up that if someone is as big as that
young man is, they have to take them to the
zoo for an MRI. Yeah. Yeah, anyway, so like I
got that and I was like, wow, that's a that's
a that's a that's a hard pill to swallow for

(16:34):
anyone to have to hear something like that. Are you
able to do that in your life? Are you able
to say the shit that someone really needs to hear,
even though it's going to be so uncomfortable and you
don't want to hurt their feelings? Sometimes sometimes sometimes it's well,
this is a lesson that you have to learn on

(16:54):
your own. I sometimes I think I hide from from
from hurting anyone feelings, probably too much. I live with
Casey Cobb, and you know she's a straight shooter. Casey
always says, what is she was there an expression, Um,
she goes, what's the what's the phrase she says, donald,

(17:15):
she goes when she's about to drop some truth bomb
on your ass. No judgments. Yeah, oh that Sometimes when
she's talking about herself, she'll be like, all right, no judgments, y'all.
But and uh, yeah, she's a straight shooter. So you
have your wife you can lean on. You can be like,
we gotta tell this person that this, Well she'll be

(17:37):
she's the one that's like, nah, you should mind your business.
Or she'd be like, yeah, you should tell that person that.
You know. I feel like I'm so worried about hurting
anyone's feelings to mind in their detriment, that I don't
say things sometimes that need to be said, you know,
because if everyone's if everyone's tiptoeing, if everyone's friends are
tiptoeing around saying something, then they might not know really

(18:00):
treat you might not know. But the worst part is
when it goes down, like let's say it's a girl
and it's about somebody that you're dating, and you know,
everybody's like you should break up with that person secretly
behind your back. And then when you guys find when

(18:21):
the person breaks your heart or something like that, everybody's like,
you know, we were thinking this ship for a really
long time. And your response is, well, why didn't you
tell me? You know what I mean? Oh well, we
didn't want to hurt your feelings. Fuck that shit. But
then you still got a tread carefully because you know
what happens. They get right back together with a person
and you unload it right and then right, and then
you told them every pig that's the most fucked up shit.

(18:45):
I learned about a very young man. Do not pillow talk.
Do not pillow talk, no matter who you wit, don't
do it. Wait, I thought pillow talk is when you're
lying around in bed with your partner and talking in Yeah,
but you could talk shit with people like you talk
shit to a girl. I got this person is horrible
or such and such, because next thing you know, that

(19:06):
shit's all around somebody else heard that ship from somebody else.
Oh yeah, because you broke up. The worst part is
like someone someone breaks up, Someone breaks up and you're like, okay, look,
I didn't want to hurt your feelings. It was none
of my business. And then you just unload all this shit, right,
and then they're like yeah yeah, and they're like swiping
away their tears. And then the next day they're like

(19:27):
we got back together. You're like, it all sucks, dude,
all right, So what's going on in here? We got
a hamster. M found hamster. Doug found the hamster in
a dead guy's colon, which means the man was doing
that thing that some men do, I guess, or people do.

(19:51):
What's that called, Joel hamstering? That is I this is
what I don't This is what I don't understand. How
does a rodent? I think you doesn't a colon? Hat? Well,
I'm not necessary. Okay, before we even get to how
you get the rodent up in there? I think I

(20:12):
want to know. Okay, right, how does the rodent live in?
You know those hamsters hamster things, habitats. It's like I
think it's like a yellow two that the hamster would
normally go to its bedroom in, like I'm off the bed,
but instead of into the anus cavity. Yes, how do

(20:33):
you durbl Joel? Can you tell our audience if they
want to try this, don't don't try this. Dear, dear,
dear fake doctor's real friends, listeners, This is a alert
that this is not something you should try. Don't do
this at home. Don't do this at home. Seriously, no
Joe kidding. People go to the hospital for this. Joel's

(20:55):
face is horrified. Joel, give us the cliff notes. How
does he do it? On the way Compedia page, it
says often the rodents are given a psychoactive substance, such
as cocaine prior to being thirty. You give the Gerbil coke, okay,
step one, go on. I never, I never. I never

(21:19):
heard anything in my life that was step one. Give
the Gerbil compaine. Oh my god, that's not even step one.
Step one buy cocaine. Not for you, the Gerbil, step two, Gerbil,
step three, Gerbil cocaine. Something comforting to listeners. Dan Savage,

(21:44):
who is a sex advice columnist who frequently discusses unusual
sexual practices, stated in twenty thirteen that he's never received
a firsthand or even a second hand account of the practice,
So maybe no one's done it and it just lives
is in fantasyland. Oh people do it. I've heard stories
of people in well, you've heard stories you've know, you

(22:05):
don't have, you don't have. That's true, that's true. No
one was like, pro you're not gonna be what happened
to me last night. But what they I understand is,
and I'm gonna say this in a non graphic way, audience,
don't worry. Once the gerbil on coke is inside your rectum, Yeah,
what's what's supposed to happen? What then happens? I guess

(22:26):
him or him or her running around on coke feels
nice to some people. In your gut and you're you're
you're intestines in your mainus, in your butt. Yeah, I mean,
think about it. If a lot of people, like a
lot of people like Scratchel, maybe a declaw is declaw
the fourth Stephn Jesus, we're just piling on the layers

(22:48):
of animal cruel. No, we're not saying you should do this.
Don't do this. Disclaimer one's gonna no, no, don't do this.
But if you honor me, no, listen, don't do it. Okay.
So anyway, moving on, since it's the first moment of
the show, and then they find Doug in the fetal position,

(23:10):
he goes, why would he live in there? Right, why
Elliot likes to role play that she's trying to get pregnant.
This is her new role play, Yes, her new role play.
She's so understanding Keith is Keith is having fun? What
about when fucking Tom Kavina tries to have a threesome
and they cut to Keith stretching. He's stretching, getting ready

(23:31):
to go in there, folding his shirt. Yeah, He's like,
that was the funniest moment the show. Tom Kavana shows
up at their house. Elliot's in very sexy lagree and
and Keith and Keith standing there and and Tom Cavanaugh
misreads the situation like, all right, I'm in. I'm like,
he's down there for threesome. He walks to the bedroom,
starts jumping on their bed, and Keith's like, Elliot, you

(23:54):
have to warn me about these things. That doesn't get mad.
He enters and starts stretching. Then she closes the door
and heads that way. She heads that way, closes the door.
At first, that was my question at first was did
they have the threesome labor on? They say it almost happened.
I think that they added that for protection of Elliot's

(24:15):
character or something, right, Okay, Well, I mean because it's
way funnier if they had a threesome. If they did
have the threesome, that would I guess it doesn't work
story wise because Tom Kavanaugh needs to be rejected, right. Um,
So I never got this story about breaking the fourth wall. Yes,
I get, yeah, I get the joke. I get what

(24:37):
it is that it's trying to do. But then even
at the end of it where he's like, we'll be
right back and she goes the nerve the patient goes,
was he talking to us? And it is? It is
pushing If you think of the red line where Scrubs
pushes reality, it's definitely sticking your toe over the reality

(24:58):
line in a way that we don't normally do, right. Um,
because in the world of cinema and television, when someone's
looking directly into the lens, not always, but let's say
for the most part, you are looking at the audience.
And that's what the joke is, obviously, but it's not

(25:20):
something we normally do very often on Scrubs. It's rare
if but I laughed. I mean, the first of all,
the whole Americo thing was funny. I want to know
what America thinks it's why Yeah, and then someone goes,
why is he here? Is that mean? Out of forgotten?

(25:42):
But like why is that next line? Why is he
in the ICU? Who lets the tailor into the ICU place?
Must have so many germs? Well it did? It did? Um? Yes?
But then then I like, we'll be right back talking

(26:02):
to us. I don't know, I don't care. Yeah, um, okay,
now we already discussed that Tom Kavanaugh's back. Yes, And Herbert,
who is the obese patient who's very charming. Also from
the wonderful movie Old School? He was in that. Oh

(26:23):
was he the guy in Old School? Yes? I think
he might have also been. If it's not him, it's
his brother, played Hercules from the Nutty Professor Hercules Hercale.
Oh really, it might be his brother. I think it's
his brother, though herclees hercleese. Now there's a new beautiful

(26:43):
nurse or intern. I think she's I think she's a nurse,
but I don't think. I don't know what she does.
But she's a new character, right, and she has crossed
ted cross You turned me down fourteen times for drinks? Well,
who's the creeper loser? Now he is still? Yeah, I mean,

(27:07):
this is this is a straight up HR episode. Like,
you can't ask somebody out fourteen times at the workplace,
that's just so. I mean you might get one. What
about all the conversations Ted has with his mom in
this episode? It's so weird. Yeah right, Joel, you're making
that face. Yeah, I know, it's it's horrifying. He's talking
about rubbing lotion and dry police. They share a bed.

(27:30):
It's not good. Yeah, let's get back to him asking
her out fourteen times. Yeah, you can't do that. If
you can't do that, can you, Yeah, just like we
can't ask these guys about pearl necklaces, Joel, how many
times can you ask somebody out before it's sexual harassment
at the workplace? Once? That's it pretty unless you unless

(27:51):
the person is like, asked me later, like oh I'm
not sure enough the uh he should probably just think
to one time, you know what I mean. I think
once is a good rule everybody. First of all, although
I did ask my wife out several times before she
said yeah, yeah, but you know where you know why,
that's exception. First of all, there's two exceptions. You didn't
work together. Second of all, you were definitely getting flirty

(28:13):
vibes back, and if you can read the vibes that's
like correctly and you're not misreading them, well it might
you might go, Okay, I'm gonna try again. And I
feel like that's gotten a lot of people in trouble
though where they've been like, you know, I thought I
was reading the flirty vibes correctly. You know what the
problem is. This is why we can't endorse this. Too

(28:35):
many people can't read the vibes. Right there you go, Yeah,
thanks again, Dan, I'll speak to that. I agree with
everybody's point here is that, like I think Casey and
Donald scenario is certainly unique and that there was a
friendship there. There was certainly something going. But also this
was like nightclus Sorry before you continue, this is like
nightclubs and parties and like you know, this isn't like

(28:56):
a fucking cubicle job, right sorry, Dana can no. No,
totally fine, But too often people hear no, and they
hear and people get a no, But what they hear
is Okay, I'm gonna try again, like a week and
see what happens. It's like no, you gotta know that
means no. You move on. You say, okay, thank you
very time. Sorry to bother you, see you next Tuesday.

(29:16):
See you next Tuesday. Wow, you call it us sorry
that wow? Okay, I apologize. Wow. That is literally okay,
you don't really funny about that. That That is not what
I meant by that. What I meant by that was
literally like, okay, I actually said see you on Monday.
Bring you on Monday. Yeah, we'll be right back. And
when we come back, I want to talk about Tom
Cavanaugh's piercing blue eyes. They were really bright, his skin

(29:39):
was really white, and his eyes were really the most
beautiful eyes. We'll be right back, and we're bad. We're bad.
Did you intend to say see you next Tuesday? No?
I no, I did not, But it does remind me
my in psychology in college, our classes were on Thursday

(30:03):
and Tuesday. At the end of every Thursday class, he
would say, all right, see you next Tuesday, and that
was always something funny. It we u. I would say
about fifty fifty percent of people who listening don't even
know what we're talking about, but google it because we're
not going to get in trouble here. Um. So Turk
can't contain himself. He has to tell JD about Angie. Yes,

(30:26):
So Carla and Turko decided that they're now going to
name this baby in her belly. They don't know if
it's a boy or a girl, but Carla has already
decided on the girl's name and it's gonna be Angie.
And she asks Turk asks Turk if he wants to
name the if it's a boy, if he wants to
give the baby a name, and he's like, yeah, absolutely,

(30:49):
say hello to Fuku. Yeah, and she's like, no, no, no,
no, no no. I meant like I was thinking more like George.
He's like, yeah, sure, George is fine. He's like, because
I was thinking for a girl. She's like, no, no no, no, no, no, Angie,
we already came up with the name, right, We've already
came up with the name. She tells him, don't tell

(31:09):
no one because if you do it, they're gonna fuck
it up for us. And I don't want that. I
want this baby's name to be ours. And that's it.
He's like, absolutely, I will not tell anyone, and you
know exactly who he's gonna tell. The minute he said instantly,
he can't hold it in for two seconds, not even
a say He runs to j D, who is in
room in a room with a patient, and interrupts the

(31:31):
patient and doctor time to tell JD. If we have
a girl, we're gonna name it Angie. Now, this is
a question for you, as a parent of so many children.
Aren't you supposed to keep the name quiet, because otherwise
everybody weighs in and says, oh, I knew a guy,
don't do that. Oh, this creepy guy's named that. Oh
I hate that girl named that. Like right, everyone's got

(31:53):
an opinion. Yes, you are to keep it to yourself.
And usually from what I've like, we didn't know Rocco's
name until a few weeks out, you know, And we
didn't know Wilder's name until a few days out, you know.

(32:13):
And some people don't know until the baby's born, and
so you know. But I would keep it too. I
would keep it to myself because everybody has a story
about someone, you know what I mean. You'd be like
I have a friend, I have a you know. It
just it never goes well. When you're like, what we
were thinking about this name, somebody's always going to be like, well,
you know, I didn't know that one person named it's funny.

(32:34):
Amanda was broadcasting that she loved Elvis for so long
and we were all cringing. I was like, a man, no, no,
you unless you're like obsessed with Elvis. She's like, I
like Elvis, but the music, musical legend, but I don't.
It's not like I'm a I'm a mega fan. I
just love the name Elvis. And she did it the
opposite way, so she was like telling him she was

(32:55):
like trying to run a campaign till clearly on Nick
as well, but also the friend group and uh and
now I love it. But at the time I remember
being like, oh, man, no, so that's what you don't want.
You don't want the friend being like, nah, dude, not fuku.
Well yeah, I mean not just or or you know,
naming a hamster after the baby either, you know what

(33:18):
I mean. Well, that's what's so funny. By the way,
it's very rare that anyone outside the main cast gets
a fane. Isn't it a fantasy? It's a flashback, and
this little girl in playing with the hamster gets a
flashback and it cuts to me playing with the kids
and the hamster that we should name the hamster Angie. Yeah,

(33:39):
they're asking what should we name it? When you're like, well,
I got a perfect name. We should name it Angie. Now,
why do you think JD did that? Because I don't
think he did it consciously. I think it was subconsciously,
Like the first new thing in his brain was Angie.
He's like, how about Angie? And all the kids going excite?
That ship was hilarious where they're walking by and they're like,
who wants to hold her next? Me? I get to

(33:59):
hold it Angie next? And turn about when Carla stop
and track into a what's it called? The ass asked Gerbil.
The asked Gerbil Angie Angie. The asked Gerbil. How about
when I go what about Tiger? So you apparently you're
telling everyone you're related to Tiger Woods. He's this is
This goes on for a while, though. I think they're

(34:20):
like three quarters related, Like there's a he's a quarter.
I don't know what it is, but oh you mean
it comes back into episode. Yeah, this comes back a
couple of times about the gay tests where you play
macho man. I wonder how much money. I wonder how
much money they spent on that graphic to have that

(34:41):
baby dancing in that freaking uterus a lot, because you know,
we're not known for our visual effects. And that was
pretty good, right, But that was okay, So that this
might be the funniest thing in the show. You said
you thought it was the threesome thing. I want to
talk about the janitor's adopted brother named Cleat. Yes, you're
cutting very you're cutting ahead a lot, but okay, okay.

(35:03):
The janitor's parents they adopted a forty six year old. Yes,
he was older than they were. He was older than
they were, and his name was Cleat, and he did
odd jobs around the house right old time, and everything
was great until the janitor's mom slept with with Cleat. Yeah,

(35:24):
because when they got because Cleat, when he got older,
him and the janitor's dad this used to fight all
the time, all the time. I don't know if you
can legally adopt them? No, no, no, somebody live with you,
that's no, there's no no. I just want to know,

(35:45):
can you legally adopt someone who's over eighteen? No? Yes,
what I could adopt a grown a grown man. I
want to adopt you got is an acknowledgement of parenthood.
Um and fun fact. Queer couples way back in the
days to do it in order to get um rights
to like people in the hospital and stuff. It's not

(36:06):
done frequently, but it has been. Oh well, it's done
as a loop, as a loophole type. I love my parents,
and I acknowledge number. What if I what if I
adopted you and you had to call me dad Daddy?

(36:26):
I wouldn't. I wouldn't I would I have some say
in the adoption. I'm sure of it. Two condoms because
he's so worried about Kenning Elliott pregnant. Now on Now,
One thing I do know those of you listening, is
that wearing two condoms is actually not dangerous. It's not good,
it's not advised. It's dangerous. It doesn't make you double protected, right, Joel, No,

(36:49):
the friction between the two condoms is more likely to
cause a rupture. He's one condom. It's enough. One condom.
But do wear a condom? Everybody? Okay, m and you
both have gone and got tested and you're you're and
you're willing to have a baby. Yeah, and you're okay
with having a baby. How about when Elliott and Keith

(37:10):
are having sex. Elliott says, promise me, you'll hold me
like this when I'm pushing our baby out of my pajama.
She's so twisted, Elliott. She is really by the way, Keith,
this woman was a complete different character sexually before Keith.

(37:36):
What is it about Keith? I mean, I know Travis
is very handsome, but what is it about Keith has
brought out the freeze down for whatever he's Elliott hit
her dirty thirties and just took off. Okay, well clearly
because every other season, okay, every other season she was
like prudish. She claimed, We're gonna do a little bit
of a reveal here. As of recently, my wife has

(38:01):
gone over the time. Whoa when it comes to sexual relations, Zach,
I love you. Why how so just let's just say
she's gone over the top. It's been good before, and
we've been we've had we listen, we got two kids,
so you know, the sex is good. We're putting it
in if you know what I'm saying, we don't know

(38:26):
twice gonna be like he's twerking but no, uh but uh,
you know it's it's it's recently like she's having way
more fun than I can remember in the last and
it is and she's not thirty and thank you very much.

(38:47):
And she's not thirty. So you say it's the dirty thirties.
I think it comes uh when shorty forties, whatever it is,
I don't know when it happened. I don't know what
you call it, but you know everybody was like everybody
was like that, you know the old You know I
have a very, I have a very I have a
very high uh sex drive. We know everyone in America

(39:08):
knows guys. Right, And you're saying she's meeting you, she's
meeting you where you are. Well, she not neces sard
not necessarily meet me where I am. But when she one,
no one wouldn't have a job in your house. But
when it when it when, when it happens, it's fucking
m it's a party, dude, Like, have you tried the

(39:31):
whirly bird? I don't want to try the whirly bird.
I'll spot you, guys. I'll wear a blindfold and spot
you guys. Will you guess? I'm coming to La by
the way for the Emmys. Do you want to do
it this weekend? This weekend my work as Casey because
I'm coming to town for the Emmy's ask her. If
she wants me to spot you guys for the Whirly Bird,

(39:52):
I'm down definitely willing to put on bows, noise canceling headphones,
and um goggles, blinding goggles. I can't wait. So my
point is can't wait. My point is Elliott has reached
this level, and she just reached it at an early age.
You know what I mean? She is freaking sometimes. The partner, well, yeah,

(40:15):
well definitely look at him. He's a fucking kindle man
like and he's bady, and he's and he's got dynamite areolas.
We know you know what I mean, Like, I mean,
she's human, It's not like you know what I mean.
I'm sure she has fantasy. Just because she's a woman
doesn't mean it can't be fulfilled. So right, I'm just saying, sometimes, um,
you when you find when you get with a specific partner,

(40:37):
like you can have great sex with somebody else, and
you could, you would call it great sex, But then
there's something about the chemistry between you and a specific
partner where you both are just like, I eat the ass.
I'll do it right. Oh my god, is too much,
too far? Wait to say it again? Fuck it, I'll
eat the ass. What did I go too far? I

(41:06):
don't think that's I don't think that's going to bring
an I heart hr. It was just the pearl necklace. UM.
Now Harrison and Winston, we learn where Tonto and Lone
Ranger jammies to bed Harrison and Winston. Harrison. First of all,
here's the funny thing, right, Harrison's new boyfriend is named Winston.
Winston and they wait, they dressed someth They sound like

(41:31):
the two people in the Freaking Balcony from the Muppets.
Harrison and Winston. They dress up as Toto and Lone
Ranger not to go to a costume party, but UM
reports that's their jammies at the end of the episode
the picture, Yes, and his husband Michael. Now, if you pause,

(41:53):
you'll see that they but also that it's getting complicated
because if you're reading in the if you're really staying
in the Scrubs universe. Winston must be the twin brother
of Leonards the security guard. Yes, yes, so maybe Harrison

(42:19):
met him when visiting his dad at the hospital on
the same day that that Leonard the security guards brought
twin brother Winston. This is some deep This is the
kind of shit you fools do with Star Wars and
Marble like. Okay, so Leonard's twin brother must have met
Harrison at the hospital. Well the time. The timeline does fit. Yeh,

(42:44):
the timeline. It does not different What do you call it?
A different? What do you call it? It's not a
different It's not a multiverse. It's not a multiverse situation.
The timeline fits the occasion. Okay, so oh here it is.
Jad names dead guys, but amster Angie. I couldn't find it.
Um they say that Turkey is the greatest pink bellier

(43:05):
in all the land? Yes, do you I remember shooting this?
Do you remember shooting this? You really did it, didn't you? No?
I didn't. We faked it, But I remember shooting it.
I remember, I remember having to do it. I remember
Victim being like, keep going, keep going. I was like, really,
how long do I gotta do this because you're gonna
speed it up. I think you did it? Really did
it like once or twice? And I was like, no,
you're not doing that. It really fucking hurt. That wouldn't

(43:29):
mean really sound like I don't mean to sound like
a whim, but it hurt. That would really hurt. How
about that door hit? Did you That was a fucking
major door hit. And that was me when you guys
wonder why you guys wonder why I'm going to the
chiropractor at forty six, it's to make you all laugh.
That was a fucking hit. No, it was a hard
one too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't say I didn't give
you my all, everybody. I was gonna say. You know,

(43:53):
naming kids is fun, but that sh it's hard, dude,
all honesty. You know, the dynamic of pissing your partner
off because you like a name like I at one
point did bring up Luke and Leia to my ex wife,
and I remember her face looking at me like you've
gotta be fucking kidding me, Like did you like Rocco?

(44:13):
Right away? Yeah, well, Casey came up with the name.
Casey was like, what about rock No, No, we would talk.
We were watching Rocky, That's what happened, and I was like,
what do you think a Rocco? And she's like, I
like Rocko oh, and she was like and then she
talked to her grandmother about it, and Casey's Italian and
Sicilian and her grandmother was like, that's a very nice

(44:35):
Italian name, Sweetie. Oh that's good, all right. So the
baby names made it real for Carla and Turk, all
of a sudden, they start panicking. The second they had names,
they were switched from being panicky to oh shit, this
is real. Yeah. You know, the closer you get to
the end of the pregnancy, the more realistic it starts

(44:56):
to become. At first, it's like, yeah, okay, sure there's
a baby in there. But then you start feeling kicks.
You've come up with names, You're starting to pick out
all of these clothes, the freaking furniture starting to arrive,
you know, like all of these things. You're starting to
change your house around or your apartment around to make
space for the child and everything. Things would get real

(45:19):
really really really fast, and you start panicking. I've been
panicking for a really long time about my kids, you
know what I mean. And it doesn't go away. I
have adults, and it still doesn't go away. I still
am nervous. You know, you still feel panicky about your
older children. Yeah, I worry about the choices they make,

(45:39):
you know. I guess all parents would probably feel that way. Maybe, Yeah. Man,
It's like it doesn't take much to make one mistake
that could be fatal, you know what I mean, to
make a fatal mistake. It doesn't take that much. It's
so hard because you can't control their choices, you can't
control what they do out in the world. I can't
imagine that would that would be so stressful. It's it's
so stressful, especially when you have teenager because it's like, oh,

(46:01):
how are you gonna like think about you think about
what you did as a teen, and you're like, oh,
my god, I did some stupid shit. Imagine they're doing that. Well,
just all of the you know, just all of the
ways I would you know. You know, I have a daughter,
I have two daughters, and I'm lucky. My older daughter
has a boyfriend who seems to really, you know, worship her,

(46:24):
and I'm very, very lucky for that. But I worry
about this dude doing some dumb shit and me having
to fucking run up on him. You know what I mean.
I'll pull up you know what I mean, I don't.
I have no problem doing that. I'll pull up on
a little a little kid too, I'll pull up on parents.
I don't give a fuck. Man, Like you know, my
daughter comes home and says, you know, such and such
was mean to me today. Immediately I'm like, who's there?

(46:46):
But who's whose Whose mom is that? Whose dad is that?
Who's who's who's the dad? What's the dad's name? To
my wife? And she's like, baby, you can't, and I'll
be like, I'm I will pull up on these motherfuckers.
I have no problem, Like you just can't. You can't.
The thing that Turk and uh Carla are going through
you go through for the rest of your life. Like

(47:07):
I saw a meme, it wasn't a meme. It was
a TikTok where this girl gets in the car and
her mom's sitting there waiting for and the girl gets
in crying. Her mom's like, what happened? What's the matter,
And she's like, I got jumped. Oh she said, oh yeah,
by who? She said, some girls. She's like, how old
would they? She's about twelve. Her mom said, okay, bet,
I'm twelve now too. Let's go. Yeah. You know what

(47:28):
I mean. That's real talk. Man, You just have afraid
to have kids. I don't. I don't. I can't handle
this pressure. It's it's it's it's real, man. You damn
you're next. Whoa, I'm next? Congratulations. I don't give any
names and in mine, yeah, K probably named like Zelda,

(47:52):
a beautiful man. Oh or Linksna and link there you go. Um,
all right, do we have a guest caller today, Joelle?
Or are you not going to record their sound? Oh? Alright,

(48:12):
shots fired, we're recording right now. All right, let's take
a break and then we'll talk to someone who will
be very interesting. We'll be right back and we're back,
all right, Joel, bring us a guest. We got a
call games. You can talk starts, you know, like a

(48:36):
boa smoke, some jazz, maybe talking about the episode. So
come on, Joelle, let's get the show. Ladies and gentlemen.
Give it up for Carol. And how are you? Helloha, Hello, Hello,

(49:04):
welcome to the program. This is Fake Doctor's Real Friends.
That's the Donald Fhazon and of course you know the
legendary Daniel and Joel. And that is Zach Braff. Right,
Zach Braff wearing a crystal necklace. Um, I supposedly he
is going to give me energy and powers. How's that
working out for you? I don't know. I need to
take it off and see if I feel any change. Um,

(49:24):
but I kind of feel like it looks like Marti
Grab beads but with a little tassel. I like it,
but I like it. I think it's giving me power.
You know what it kind of looks like to me.
It looks like the Kung Foo beads from like the
Saturday morning Kung Fu television shows that I used to watch.
A feather at the end, you wrap that around a
freaking like a spear or a sword or a sword

(49:47):
freaking award yea sword, and it's freaking the freaking hip
hit all It sounds like a Woo Tang Clan album.
Tank Forever, Wo Forever Wo Tank Forever. Carolyn, Welcome to
the program. Um, where are you calling from? I am
calling from just that's how of Columbus, Ohio? Okay, yes,

(50:11):
not super exciting. I moved here about a year ago
for work during quarantine. What do you do? Where did
you move from? I ask the questions, Donald, calm down,
all right, we'll start off. I don't release the fight.
No question is where did you move from? And what

(50:31):
are you doing in Columbus? Beautiful? Um, I moved from Cleveland,
so not a very big move, you know. I love Cleveland. Carol,
you talked about Mabel's before the two restaurants. That's not
all I know. I've been at a casino. I've done
at all. All right, Carolin, what what do you do
for a living? I'm wicked? Um So, I am in

(50:54):
clinical research. So I'm a senior director of clinical development
at a biotech. Um we do we develop in research?
Gene therapy is for rare pediatric diseases. Wow. And do
you so rare pediatric diseases you're working on discovering medicines
for them? Yeah, exactly. Um So, the primary disease that

(51:16):
we're setting right now is called Crabbe disease. It's a
globoid cell lucadystrophe. Um. It's a very um rare and
catastrophic pediatric lucadystrophe. What is that? I'm sorry in layman's terms?
What is that? What does that happen? How does that
happens to the child? What is it? What does that mean? Yeah? So,
lessie with these children unless they are caught with through

(51:39):
newborn screening programs, and crabbe is actually only part of
newborn screening in nine states at the moment um. These
children will be born typically developing. You know, ten fingers,
ten toes, hitting everywhere they should on their appar et cetera.
And then um, as they grow older, the disease is
very rapidly progressing. So the parents will notice that they
are starting to fall behind on milestones, et cetera, and

(52:02):
we'll start taking them into the doctor to get their diagnosis.
My previous company up in Cleveland, I studied UM a
couple different muco polysacridoses, and those ones have a much
later onset their lycos almost storage disorders. And so basically,
your body is constantly producing cellular waste, and so your
lycensomes are in their kind of recycling, right, But with

(52:26):
these lycosolmoal storage disorders your body you have, you're missing
the enzymes of the proteins or the genes that they
should be doing that recycling, and so that cellular waste
just builds up. I'm sorry, we just didn't because we
don't know anything, even though we're pretend doctors. What is that?
How does that manifest? What happens to the child? Yeah,
So with crab a disease, a lot of the early

(52:46):
symptoms are the children will have difficulty eating, swallowing, breathing
moving with some of the other lucidistrict excuse me, other
lycosomal storage disorders, it's much later onset with krebe. Beyoncet
is very young and very rapid, and so you know
roughly ninety percent of these children will pass away by

(53:07):
age two. Oh my gosh, Oh my god. And it's
not something that anyone you said, only six states or
screening for this nine states right now. So if anyone's
listening and can they ask I mean, because I'm sure
there's people that are pregnant are listening to you. They're like,
oh my god, what do I do? What do you
ask your pediatriction or kinnecologists about? Yeah, So with these

(53:30):
different states have different options that you can add to
your standard newborn screening panels. There's something called the RUSP.
It's the Recommended Uniform Screening Panel and that's kind of
oversight from the federal government that mandates what should be
included in each state, and then each state has their
own kind of flexibility in what additional tests they screened

(53:51):
for there. And I don't want to scare it your listeners.
I mean, crebe is an ultra rare disease. It's rare,
but I'm saying, but I'm saying, if they happen to
be listening to this, they because say, hey, if you're
doing the RUST, can you add a test for what's
it called CRABE CRABE kr A BBE. I would, And
so there's nine active right now, you know, But then

(54:13):
it's really challenging. There are some petitions up right now
to get KRABE added to the RUST, but there are
petitions for a lot of rare diseases at the moment
trying to get them include really, why why? I wonder why.
This is probably a stupid question if you're in the
medical business, but why not add them all? Like why
does the RUST have to be limited? So kind of
two main reasons. One, depending on how frequent the diseases

(54:37):
or how well it's been studied, it might be there
might be a high rate of false positives, or the
diagnostic screening criteria might not be well enough defined, and
so you don't want to give somebody bad news if
it's not really true. And then you know, and they
really tend to shy away from diseases that don't have cures.
So if there is no cure for this disease, there

(54:59):
are some ethical considerations about whether or not the families
would want to know there's a standard of care for
craby disease. It's not a cure, but it is a
but you just released or you just said something. That's
sort of a darker side of this is the ethical
concerns of telling someone that their child will only lived

(55:20):
too right, like a vault. I don't know if you
can go down that road, Carlin, I'm gonna start crying.
It's supposed to be a comedy podcast here, you know stuff.
Can you tell them very quickly why you wrote in
and what you're hoping to do? Yes? Go ahead, Yeah,
so actually have cool stuff UM that I wrote in
about Um. This actually worked out really perfectly that I'm

(55:41):
able to be on the show today because I'm celebrating
an anniversary. Happy anniversary, what is it? Thank you? Um?
One month ago today I donated my right kidney to
a stranger. Wow, let me see the scar I have
been flashing everyone. I had to talk to them earlier

(56:07):
about speaking to our co workers in an inappropriate way. No, no, no,
I was talking to you can't asking a woman. You
just meant to show a scar, all right? My dog
is she heard exciting voices and had to look up
and say, Hi, I has a very cute dog. So
we okay, Oh my goodness, Carolin, how did this come about?

(56:28):
It actually came about through my dog actually, when she
is very good timing. She just didn't even know it.
So one of my hobbies is I'm a puppy raiser
for a group called Canon Companions for Independence. And what
I do in my volunteeral is I take in puppies
when they're about eight weeks old. I raised them until

(56:50):
they're about a year and a half to two years old,
and then I do all their basic socialization training. They
go as age appropriate. They go to work with me,
they go to the grocery store with me, they go
on airplanes with me, they go, you know, anywhere I go.
I've always, always, for the last six or so years,
i always have a dog at my side. And so
then at the end of the time that I have them,

(57:11):
I take them into one of our local training centers.
They do six or some months of actual professional training
and then they go off and become service dogs. So
I'm for the blinder for other things. Yeah, So the
group that I'm with, we do Primarily we do mobility dogs,
so for people who have you know, imputations, wheelchair users, etc.
We do hearing dogs for people who are hearing impaired,

(57:34):
but we do not do any seeing I or guide
dogs because there's so many groups out there that do
such a great job with all of that. And so
so you guys filled a spot that was necessary training
service animals that weren't for the blind. Yeah, and so
since I don't do any work with visually impaired service animals,

(57:56):
I follow a bunch of different groups on Facebook, right because,
like I always want to learn about stuff that I'm
not actively. You seem like a pretty angelic human being,
and we already know how this is going to end.
But my ex husband would have something other otherwise. Right now,

(58:17):
I'm down to so my left kidney side note I
have named it Jeffrey Bean Morgan, Jeffrey Bean, nice, Jeffrey Bean. Okay,
so go on, I got it. Get to the point
where you gave a kidney to a stranger. Yeah. So
for a few years now I followed this one group,
this one Facebook page about this woman living in DC

(58:39):
who's got a seeing eye dog, and it's really cool
to read about her adventures and see kind of what
you know, get a glimpse into how somebody else lives.
And then in March, she posted a personal plea from
her personal Facebook page onto the Dog's Facebook page, saying
that she needed a kidney. And you know, it's been

(59:02):
a really shitty couple of years, right, um, And I
don't know, just something about her post just kind of
struck a chord with me. And it was a couple
of days after my thirty ninth birthday, so I was
already in that like, oh my god, I'm about to
turn forty. What am I doing with my life? If
I'd done right done with my brother, it's the quickest

(59:23):
way I can make a difference. How can I fix
twenty twenty one? Yeah, And so there was just a
little link in her post to an online questionnaire, and
I'm like, well, you know, it's like a Tuesday afternoon
or something, and I'm procrastinating from work, and I'm like,
I wonder what kind of questions they can ask you
on an online survey that'll tell you about I don't know,

(59:45):
if you can donate a kidney. I'd never thought about
this before. It's like, like, on the link I fill
that out. I end up passing through the first few
online stages. They sent me mouth swabs. I did a
bunch of mouth swabs, sent those back in, and about
a month later I got a call saying, hey, so
you're a match. Can you come in and do all
these crazy medical tests with us? Oh? Yeah, ok so,

(01:00:06):
how how is your relationship with this lady now with
this seeing dog? Oh my gosh, so that was really
crazy because I mean I didn't even know her real name.
I'm sorry I lost one thing. Is she she's a
trainer of seeing eye dogs? Or she uses a seeing
eye dog? She uses a seeing eye dog? Yes, Oh
she's a blind woman. Okay, so that woman is not

(01:00:29):
only blind but is in dire need of a kidney.
That's incredible. I have questions, Um, you they must have
told you what could go wrong? We've did We did
this on scrubs. It can things can go awry for
the donor. Um were you nervous about that? You must
have been. What was your thinking about that? Do you
know what that's so crazy? Is that not once like

(01:00:49):
there was no fear like this. It was just a
really empowering and really exciting process. I think you know,
because I because I work in the medical field, and
part of my job is designing the informed consent documents
for our clinical trials, right, so, like I know all
of these. I actually also last year I got COVID,
and so I joined a clinical trial for people who
had COVID because obviously I want to help with that research.

(01:01:11):
So I'm actually still in a clinical trial for something
else right now. And they would and they let you,
and they let you do the surgery even though even wow,
that's amazing, and so how does this how does this
affect your clinical trial? Then? Now does this move you
into a different level in the clinical trial because now
you only have one kidney? Like you know what I mean? Like,

(01:01:32):
I don't know. I guess the clinical trial didn't have
anything to do with the kidney having two kidneys. Yeah,
it was just a Yeah, it was a monoclonal antibody
infusion I got when I was in the hospital after
getting COVID, and so that was, yeah, it's completely separate.
I'm just in long term follow up. I got the
monoclonal antibody back in a January. So how is your
life in any way different with one kidney? Do they

(01:01:54):
is there anything you have to do differently or feel
differently in the initial post transplant. I mean, I'm at
one month today and I'm obviously you look amazing. You
look happy. Are you single? You mentioned your ex husband?
Are you single? I am single? Oh my goodness. You
guys got to date this woman. She's beautiful, she's pretty
much a saint. She might give you a kidney. Well,
she can't give me. I can tell you where to

(01:02:18):
find one if you do need one. Because now I've
been learning so much about this, this community and the
donor world, and I mean it's been really really sobering. Um,
joining a lot of these support groups and seeing how
many people do not have happy endings like this. It's
really rare that you meet somebody who's not only in
the medical field, but also has donated, uh part of

(01:02:40):
their body too. I could give a kidney to a
I mean, I'm sorry, Carol, and I I could give
a kidney to a loved one or a family member
if they needed it. Um, I don't. I don't know
that though. I don't know that I could do a stranger.
I mean, you're you're you're a saint. But no, um,

(01:03:02):
you know, because That was a question that a lot
of people had for me. You know too, is well,
why would you give akidney to a stranger? Why don't
you save it for a save it? Right, it's kind
of funny. You might need it for a loved one. Yeah,
but I've never heard anyone's name like that. That's their
own rationalization, though, that's their own rationalization. I would do it,

(01:03:26):
but I'm hanging on to it. Just don't get me wrong.
I personally would, but my mother's not looking great. Yeah,
but it's great because with this And it's a little
different for me because this was considered a directed donation
because it was specifically for this one woman. But if
I had done it altruistically by just joining the National
Kidney Transplant Registry and signing up through there, they have

(01:03:49):
a voucher program. So, Zach, let's say that tomorrow you
decide to donate a kidney, get on the registers. What
do I get? How much do I get? If you
match anybody, you get you get actually a lot of
really interesting stuff. But you also get a voucher that
can be used for your family, so that if down
the line, remember me, what if I need a kidney
all the sin. No. I mean I wonder if it's

(01:04:11):
happened that someone's given a kidney like you and then
they then their kidneys fucked it absolutely doesn't you end
up getting moved to the top of the rich I
would hope. So that's like the fast past. You get
a fast past, You're okay. Um, if something like that happens,
Wait do you get Don't people um sell their kidneys

(01:04:33):
not legally in the US? Um? And that's actually part
of like they are the tests that you go through
to do this or bunkers. I mean, like I'm healthy,
I don't really go to the doctor beyond you know,
occasionally annual whatever. But um, oh my god, this is
like the first time I did CT scans and all
these crazy testing that you have to go through, psychological counseling,

(01:04:55):
you have to go through, yeah, like different financial counseling
so that you're fully aware of any and who pays
for Sorry sorry to interrupt you because I'm just fascinating,
but who who pays for all of this? Are you
out of pocket? The Nope, The recipients insurance covers everything.
I think in total, I was out of pocket for
maybe one hundred dollars worth of stuff, and the only

(01:05:17):
reason for that was there was some I mean, the
testing process was long, long, long, and I had I
was overdue for a perhaps mirror, and my PCP was
super backed up because everybody's overdue or everybody's backed up
with everything for COVID right now, and so mad props
to play in parenthood because I reached out to them

(01:05:38):
and explained that this was the last thing I needed
before I could do this surgery, and they fit me
in within a couple of days. Well, that's all I'm
getting out of this is that Donald and I aren't
good enough people. No, you aren't a good enough person. Really,
Why don't you put your ass on the registrar? Then
you want me to put my ass on? You want

(01:05:59):
my I want? Yeah, actually would probably take your ass.
Can you donate asked cheeks? I mean, mordem you can
absolutely donate skin that can be used for skin grafts
are similar? No, we said ask no cheek cheek. It's cheek.
It's cheek cheek itself. I am unaware of any that's

(01:06:25):
like a scrums fantasy. Actually, like like someone someone says,
you can have all my organs and my asked here
and my ass cheeks, you know, like front but front front.
All right, well, you're incredible. Um, I think we should

(01:06:45):
for the interest of time, skip questions what we could
do fix your life if you want? Do you need
your life fixed? Or do you have questions? Or do
you have questions you could pick? All right, all right,
all right, um, you know I did have some questions,
but again in the interest of time. So my recipient
was supposed to join today and least minute, she wasn't
able to, which was super disappointing. We met for the
first time less than twelve hours before surgery. I mean

(01:07:07):
it was, well, you you almost programmed the best show ever.
You got like eighty percent of the way there. So well, Joelle,
I give you eighty percent props. Thank you. Okay. He
was super, super super disappointed she wasn't able to make this,
But she did ask me to share one thing, well,
use my remaining time for this, which is that she

(01:07:29):
was really fortunate in that she had this social media
network where she was able to put out a call
for a kidney and a stranger saw it, right, Because
she's got a pretty decent social media presence, But there's
so many people out there who who don't right right,
and there is such just drastic, drastic inequality against um

(01:07:51):
with transplant transplant in general, with the differences between deceased
donor donations against like what I did, which is a
obviously living organ donation. And so her big call is
just for people to think about ways to make the
transplant process more inclusive and equitable for both recipients and donors.
And thinking that, I mean, the numbers are staggering. Fourteen

(01:08:15):
people join the National Transplant Registry every day, twenty Americans
die from kidney disease waiting for a transplant every day.
The average weight for transplant is three to eight years,
and during that three to eight years, you are on
dialysis day in, day out. I mean, it is okay.
So how can people who are as saintly as you
who want to do this where do they go to register? Yeah?

(01:08:38):
You can go to kidney dot org. That's a National
Kidney Foundation website, or you can go to just Kidney
Registry dot org. You can learn loads more about the process.
And I totally get it. I'm so fortunate that I
was able to do this because I don't have any kids, right,
I just have two dogs and a cat, right, so
I didn't have to worry about caring for somebody during
my recovery. I have an amazing employer. Shout out to

(01:09:02):
Tim Miller, who gave me all the time off that
I needed. I was actually back at work within a
week because I was feeling really good. But somebody who
gave me paid time off and all the space I needed.
Also for all of my appointments, etc. Everything leading up
to this, Like this, stars just aligned perfectly that I'm
in a place where I was not negatively impacted financially, physically, emotionally, psychologically, whatever,

(01:09:26):
that I had such an amazing support system across the board. Yeah,
and most people are amazing. I have to keep mind
in case something. I'm mister donald, but I do think
that a lot of people should sign up for this
at kidney dot org or Kidney Registry dot org. Absolutely, Carolyn,
I you know you do so much for so many people.

(01:09:46):
I hope I have. I hope you have a lot
of someone out there that's doing something. Is yes, are
you on one of the dating apps? Maybe we can
set you up. I'm not doing it to get her
a date, dude, I'm just saying mention maybe there's another
but maybe, but maybe that's not what she's looking for. Bro.
I'm just saying, everybody, I just hope you have somebody

(01:10:07):
in your life or some a group of people or
friends in your life that are as supportive as you
are for complete strangers. Yo, you are an amazing person.
I think you are awesome, Carolyn. For really, I've got
I have an amazing support group. And also, you know,
the puppy raising community is really really tight, and so
all of the other puppy raizors in town have been

(01:10:29):
bringing me food and taking my dog. Isn't you know?
I have like a Hallmark movie, Donald Donald and are
going to sell this to Hallmark. We'll cut you in.
It's like a Christmas movie, How my Dog saved that
everything you need. It's got a beautiful woman giving her

(01:10:50):
kidney to a blind stranger and puppies. Yeah, and a
comical moment with a dog. Yeah yeah, lots of comical
moments with the dog. I'm just waiting. We're hoping to
go visit the recipient this weekend. Will be the first
time we've seen each other since the transplant. I can't
wait to you guys. A friend and you can stop
calling her the recipient. You know what, I'm honestly just
doing that because we're on here and she's not here,

(01:11:12):
so I wasn't comfortable using her name just because she's
she's not here. But well, if she hears this, if
she hears this, um uh, we are so happy that
you're doing well and so happy that there are people
like Carolyn out there who who are saints on earth.
I think one thing you can do is make sure
that you're on the organ donor list. Um, unless of

(01:11:34):
that's against your religious beliefs, of course, but I really
you can. You can make sure it's usually on your
driver's license if if you were to die, and they
can harvest and save lots of lives with your organs,
and unlike scrubs, they most likely won't have rabies in them,
and they'll test them first before they just don't amount. Yeah,

(01:11:55):
yeah absolutely, um, you know post mortem organ donation there.
Everybody can out of my kidney when I die, both
of your kidneys, not just the one. Yeah, everything, you
can take everything. Just leave my hair. I want I
want my hair anyway. I know, dude, I'm not an idiot.
Come on, it's kind of fallout anyway, didn't you see

(01:12:16):
goonies Zach Chester Copper Pot had no hair left? All right? Yeah,
I love it all right, Carolin, thank you so much
for coming on the show. We really appreciate you absolutely,
Thanks for thanks for letting me on and letting me

(01:12:38):
share this story about living organ donation. It's been a
true life changer for me, and hopefully this will inspire
some of your listeners. I bet it will. I bet.
I bet you just made a big difference in a
lot of people's lives because this show gets hurt all
around the world, and I bet you inspired other people
to do the same. I don't know if you know this, Carolin,
but we're really popular, pot. Yeah, we're very huge. That
was a humble brags on up podcast. I missed the

(01:13:01):
live episode last week, but I watched how Dare You?
But that is literally the only episode I have missed
since March of last year. Yeah. Wow, Well that all right.
Thank you so much for coming on. Be healthy, take
care of bye. Wow. Wow, dude, we're not good enough people,
all right. I gotta get my shit together, dude. With

(01:13:22):
the amount of doctors that you guys have inspired over
the years, with the show and the amount of lives
that those people have inevitably saved with your influence, and
maybe Carolyn just inspired people who do have the courage
to do something like that. Yes, yeah, how's that is
an amazing woman. She saves children right like, it's like,

(01:13:44):
but that's that's the that's the thing, that's the thing,
that's It's like, you're already doing good work, you had
to step it up another notch. Listen, everything everything she
does is amazing. Yeah. Everything she when she's not working
on helping to find cures for rare pediatric diseases, she's
training puppies for handicapped people. Truly, and when she's not

(01:14:07):
doing that movie is gonna be fire. Dude, let's due.
Oh my god, it's got three things, It's got puppies,
it's got babies. I think Amanda clues could player? I agree? Yes,
because Aman, it's an Amanda cludes Hallmark movie. Bam, let's
do it done? And doesn't want to see that? Joel Joell,
you we mentioned at pitching can you go pitch Hallmark?

(01:14:30):
We just did. We just did Hallmark. We got the
movie for we need a Hallmark. We often have Harmark
movie ideas. We need a Hallmark executive to be listening
to the show, because they're we're just pitching them free shits.
I hired at gmail dot com Comark and yeah, I listen.
I don't want you stealing our ideas. If I see
this story on Hallmark, I to me, Hallmark, you're dead

(01:14:53):
to Lifetime. Casey cobbol watched the ship out of this
movie on Hallmark, especially if it stars a man includes
all right, guys, that's our very rocky show. We love
you very much. Donald My six seven eights about Shore
we made about a bunch of doctor nurses and Canada

(01:15:16):
who loved him. I said, he's the story, as nephew
should know. So Gada around you here, Gyata around to
here of s freewatcho wa mm hmmm