March 29, 2022 • 54 mins
On this week's episode, Elliot goes home at 5:00 PM every day and Cox gets jealous. In the real world, Zach recalls a letter he wrote the NY landlord who owned the loft he and Donald rented in 2001, and Donald is ready to meet his Blue Beetle. Cheaper by the Dozen is out on Disney+ now.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Donald phase on testing one two three four Donald phase
on testing one two three four? Are you testing? Are
you testing as yours your microphone set. I've got some
new toys to play with over here, don I don't
give a shit about two toys right now, buddy, I'm
sick of your face. I'm sick of your face. Why oh,
(00:21):
because all I watch. Oh I don't watch it on purpose,
but my daughter keeps playing this damn cheaper body does.
Thank you too. That's my number one fan, my god
daughter right there. Oh my gosh. So you're having to
watch having to watch. I do watch it. I have
to watch it because she's watching it all the time,
like back to back to back to back to back.
That shit's on twenty four to seven. Dude, it's it's
(00:47):
it's it's ridiculous. And then having to do a rewatch
and then having to look at your face again, I
can't believe it. I'm so sicky of face, buddy. I
love you so much. I love you so much, so much,
and I love that wild there. Who is how old?
She's six six? So if you have a six year old, listen,
(01:08):
let them see Cheaper by the dozen. She's the target demo. Well,
everybody's really the target demo. You're so, I know, man,
thank you. Hold on one second, Hold on one second.
My wife wants to say something. Play the song, Casey,
come down here, tell me what to do. Hey, I
(01:34):
just have to tell you. So yesterday I was picking
Wilder up at art camp and she was refusing to
get in the car, and I was like, Wilder, we
gotta go. And and somebody said, well, what time is it?
She goes, It's wine time? And I think it's what
because first of all, I don't even drink wine. I
barely drink it all. Is that in the movie? Yes,
(01:54):
I guess yes, someone says it's wine time. Yeah. I
was like, oh my god, we've got to cut her off.
That's number one fan right there. She's got. She she
sits and repeats the dial she says the dialogue with
the I put the video. Casey posted this video that
was so adorable of what time was it in the morning. Oh,
(02:16):
it's like seven thirty in the morning, seven thirty in
the morning. She's got. The movie opens with a Beyonce
song and she's like dancing around the living room getting
getting her breakfast underneath her blanket all ready to watch it.
She's like, and he goes, you're gonna watch it again? Well,
because and they're on Spreme break, so we don't have
a lot going on, so they're watching a lot of TV.
(02:38):
I just love the Donald repeat. I just love that
Donald's being forced to watch me over and over and again.
Oh he laughs. He's not going to tell you that,
but I'm not gonna lappen. Yeah good, yeah, he laughs.
All right, thank you, love I love you too. That's
just funny, though, man, I'm not gonna lie it's funny.
Before you got on, Daniel was just like, because Daniel
and Joel came to the premiere and before you got on,
(03:00):
Daniel was like, I gotta tell you that movie is
really funny. It was really funny. That's it's funny man.
And uh you know, uh, the uh the Daniel sisters
are great in it. Man, it's good to see them
in something again. Man. There. Yeah, you know, I don't
know if you were a Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High,
but I knew that that was there. That was their jam.
Oh man. I had crushes on the both of them. Men. Uh,
(03:23):
they they were great in it. Uh. I got to
work with Brittany uh uh in Skyline Action, the whole cast,
all the amazing freaking gab, the kids, Uh, the the dad. Uh.
What's he? He nickname his tree? He goes by tree.
(03:45):
He's uh because he's probably as big as a tree.
He's a giant. But his acting is fucking amazing. He's
great to uh Uh Erica, She's amazing, like, oh, you know,
just like it's at it. It's familiar faces too, you know,
and everybody's in it. You know. It's just such an
(04:07):
amazing it's a it's an amazing family movie. I have
no idea of man, thank you. Yeah, I'm so happy
that people love. It's funny. I had a really funny
moment because I'm trying to help my parents buy a
house and I never get recognized by kids because I've
never done anything for kids, um and other than Chicken
Little obviously, which they're not gonna recognize you from that.
(04:28):
And this is my very first thing that's ever been
you know, most of my stuff, you know, obviously Scrubs
was risque and and and kids weren't watching that, and
all my movies are pretty much So I'm walking down
the street and this was like the next day and
I'm I'm holding my mind. I got my mom's arm
because she's walking with a cane these days. And this
woman comes out of nowhere with two little young boys,
(04:50):
probably seven, and she goes sauce king. It's the sauce
King because my character creates a sauce in the movie.
And the two little boys face is lit up, and
I was like, I had this beautiful moment that was like,
you know, I've been used to getting recognized since since
since I got famous with Scrubs, But this moment was
like seeing a kid's face light up seeing me. It
(05:11):
was something I don't know, it's something cool about it,
because it's amazing. Can I tell you something? And on
the selfish level, just as sauce king, as as a
as a it just it's it's longevity. Also with your career,
you're touching a new audience or audience that had no
idea who you were, right is now you know what
(05:33):
I mean? I child has any idea who I am? No,
Well they do now they do. Now they do now
they do. Now that's you know what I mean. And
they're gonna grow up with you now too. You know
what I'm saying, I hope we get this is It's
so amazing, dude. I'm so happy for you. Thank you brother,
thank you, and thanks for being so supportive and and
(05:54):
thank you. You missed. We weren't able to come to
the premiere and because you had to work. But it
was so fun watching, uh, your kids watch the premiere.
And every time there's a there was a music queue
because Kenyan got Disney to pay for them songs. There's
the soundtrack from He Got That. I don't know what
got Beyonce. I don't know what this soundtrack wants to cost,
(06:14):
but Kenya said, make it happen, and h every time
there was a song, your daughter hopped up out of
her seat and she was just dancing along. She was
having the best time, telling you it's her new favorite movie. Um,
I love it. I love it so that. Okay, there's
our There's Our Sheeper by the Doesn't Plug. Please check
it out if you haven't, it's on Disney Plus. Um
(06:36):
it came out last week and it's been It's been
a lot of fun hearing people and their families enjoy it.
There she is? What up? Queen? Joel and Joel are
you doing anything to propagate the rumors that the people
want me to play Ted Cord. Um, you are dialed
(06:58):
into this universe. Yes, listen. I posted it in my
stories like maybe two weeks ago, when I got a
bunch of messages being like when will Zach suit up?
I'm here for it. I will tell all of the
DC people anytime I see them. It's right there in
front of you, guys. We're ready and hold on now,
hold on, now, listen, here's the thing. Now, if you
(07:21):
get to play Ted Chord, do I get to still
play Blue Beetle? Because I'm a little worried. I'm a
little worried. Man freaking CW didn't pick up Legends or
Tomorrow yet, and I don't know, you know what I'm saying.
I'm starting to get a little worried. They picked up Flash,
they picked up Kung Fu, picked up the football shit,
(07:44):
they picked up all that other stuff. I didn't hear
Legend or Tomorrow. Does that mean that if you get
chosen as Ted Chord, I still get to play Blue Beetle?
We should call Greg Berlany live on the show and
surprise and ask him. By the way, we've got some
new sound effects Donald, because I have expanded my repertoire
a little bit. This is when I this is my
(08:05):
Donald phase on intro track. Wait, do it again? Do
it again? It's a I'm like a Seinfeld drum. No,
it's gonna scratch, bro, it's still Seinfeld dish. What is
(08:28):
it so black? Seinfeld? It's blind. It's blind. Now, when
you have a joke that doesn't work, that's what I hurt.
This is gonna hurt. You can't discriminate, though, you better
not discriminate that. Now. I can tell you. You You got
(08:52):
a new job, and you gotta job you're really excited about. Yeah,
but make that money, make that money. Um, we got this.
Who's gonna get this? That's fire, dude, that's fire. When
(09:16):
does that come in? I don't know. We're gonna we're
how about drop it right now? One more time? Hey
the show, y'all? Yeah, it's our new intro music after
the theme song goes after our theme song. But it's
the breakdown, like when James Brown breaking down and he
(09:37):
just and he just dafinis it. Oh, come on, man, Donald,
I I'm getting back in shape. I'm back on the wagon. Well,
if you gotta play ted Cord, you gotta get back
in shape. You can play. I gotta get in that suit,
and you gotta get in that. You can't if it happens,
you can't have Come on, you can't have a fopa
in a suit. Donald, Oh my god, I'm just telling you.
(10:10):
If we're gonna strap on, strap in, not strap on
both boy your foot, you're just sticking your foot deeper
and deeper. This episode of the show has so much
homo eroticism. Oh, it's got racist shit. Who wrote this stuff?
I don't know. Elliott is clearly a Republican. Clearly clearly
(10:31):
a Republican. We can talk about that. We're gonna get
into all that. All I know is one thing's for sure.
I'm documenting the Keith's body and claiming it is my own. Yeah,
you know what, How about we started like this seven
eight about show we made about a bunch of time nurses.
(11:11):
I laughed a bunch. Yeah, I was confused a little
bit too, my friend with money. Guys, we are in
six oh five, and um, I got a very interesting
proposition last night about this podcast. I'm so excited to
tell you guys about it, but I don't know if
I can. I don't think I can tell the fans
yet ready, Daniel exactly, or I'll tell you and then Daniel,
(11:33):
you'll assess how you bleep it out. Okay. I met
the CFO of and she said I love the podcast,
why don't you guys? And and fuck you. Yeah that happened.
And then this morning and I thought she like had
(11:53):
a buzz or whatever. And then this morning she texted
me about it. Oh she's for real. Then yeah, she's
our next day follow up, the next day early. This
has to happen. All right, fans, we can't tell you yet,
but put it this way. The podcast is on such
fuego that people are hitting us up from all over.
That's amazing. Exactly how you do all this business, that's incredible. Wow.
(12:18):
That's the thing about Hollywood is you can go to
you can you can. I got to hang out with Alpaccio.
Listen to what's happened last week. I went to a
I went to a Shabbat dinner where I hung out
with Alpaccino. Wow, Okay, I sat next to Alpuccino and
I was so nervous and he's so cool, and everyone
at the table obviously basically just like, come on, tell
us stories, and he was telling stories and apparently there's
(12:42):
like the secret club that if you're friends with Puccino
or you know someone where he screens old thirty five
millimeter prints at at either the New Beverly that's Tarantino's
theater right or wherever. And and then after does Q
and A's And it's not like charge. It's not like
charged or anything. It's just like you gotta know someone.
And then but guys, I'm like, I got my foot
(13:03):
in the door. The woman who organizes it, I met her,
I gave her my number. I go, I love al
so much, Please UM invite me, and she goes, yeah,
I'll make sure you're invited, and I'll try and get
you guys invited, but like like not necessarily like super
famous ones like he referenced he's done so many movies. Yeah,
like the referenced Scarecrow, which I've never seen, which I
guess is him and Hackman Wow. And then um and
(13:24):
Eli Roth was also at the table, and he's like,
he's like best buddies with Tarantino, and Eli Roth was like,
I think Tarantino might have a print of Scarecrow. I
could get it from him. And I would be like,
I was like, oh, that would be great, and I
was just like, I can't how dream dream? Then Eli
Roth and I started doing impressions of him from Glen
(13:46):
Garry Glen Roth, and then oh my god, they have
the craziest story he's got. Hold on. I just gotta
say one thing before you get to this craziest story.
This is just a a little interlude into my love for
Appucino as motivational talk in a movie ever, is any
(14:07):
given Sunday. Oh, he's in the locker room talking at
the end of the movie when they're about to go
into the playoff game. That shit is so powerful and
I'm gonna I'm gonna keep it one hundred. I don't
know how much Alpaccino knows about football, but whoever that
character was, he was playing. If you ever want to
(14:27):
get motivated, if you ever want to feel some type
of emotion and go out into the world charged and
ready to go, listen to that monologue in the locker
room at the end of the morning. Well, I love him.
I think he's I mean, such a fucking genius. And
it was just cool to sit next to him and
hear him tell stories and He was just so personal.
You know, you think a lot of old school legends
(14:48):
like that would be like, you know, let's just have
a glass hall and I don't want to talk about
my work that. He was the opposite. He was holding
court at the table. People are asking him questions. He's like, oh,
I got a funny story about that. Now let me
tell you something. And it was just amazing. It was
so cool. You said you had something else that was crazy.
The other story, that's hilarious. Okay, So make long story short.
Donald and I. We've told you about the loft we
(15:10):
stayed in when we were our first hiatus from Scrubs
in Manhattan and soho, and we put a ping pong
table in there, right, Yeah? Was there one in there?
Did we buy one? I don't know if we bought one,
but there was a ping pong table, and yes, and
we hung and we told you about the stories there,
and we had some really fun nights there. We were
(15:30):
just Donald's had been famous before, but it was my
first time being a known actor, and I was doing
Shakespeare in the Park, which was like a lifelong dream,
and I was cranking Michelle branch Um. Everything was perfect.
Turned me inside out, so I can see that was
the summer of every to me. I had my CD player,
(15:52):
remember I had my yellow CD player that yeah, you know,
you know, you know that I had that thing that
you clamped over and locked the sony. Yet I don't
have everywhere skipping. You know this, This this episode has
a lot of shit like that. Anyway, But yeah, go on,
(16:12):
so we gotta get in the episode. But let me
just tell you the story. So when we left Donald,
I don't even know if you know this, but when
we left this woman, we hadn't done anything in the place.
The place was it was not it was not set
up nice. It was an artist studio. It just happened
to have like a bathroom in two beds, and it
was it was. It was pretty rough, it was. But
we were just so happy to be in a giant loft,
pretending we were in the movie Big in soho um.
(16:35):
But it was not like a redone, right. It was
like a rough, raw space. And this woman who rented us,
had rented it to us, had the audacity to try
and keep our deposit. And she sent me this long
list of all the things that were wrong, um that
she needed to repaint. There was a missing missing cont
(16:55):
shell in the bathroom, that like that, like this, that
other thing, and it was so it was such bullshit
because we hadn't done anything to her fucking loft. Okay,
So for some reason, I took the time. I was
so mad, I took the time to write the sassiest,
funniest response to her claims. And it wasn't I wasn't
(17:19):
like being a dick. I was just being like a
wise ass. But I was being a funny wise ass.
And it was a It was a letter for one.
No one would ever see it, but this woman. It
wasn't like I was going to litigate it or anything.
It wasn't we probably she probably kept our fucking deposit
for all I know. But I but I took the
time to really sit there and write the the funny
as hell, you've got to be fucking kidding me letter, right.
(17:43):
I haven't thought about it since this was two thousand
and one, one two, whenever freaking scrubs for we had
one thousand two. Okay, So I'm coloring my movie, which
is when you go into um, what's um? When you
go into a studio and you sit with a colorist
and that you're cinematographer and you're adjusting all the color
(18:04):
and making it look as pretty as possible. Think of
it like a zillion dollar Instagram room. And and all
of a sudden, my DP says, Yannish Kaminski is here.
Would you like to meet him? Now? For those you
don't know, Jannish Kaimiski is one of the most famous
cinematographers of all time. He's shot nineteen of Spielberg's movies.
(18:25):
He's got two oscars. He shot Schindler's List, He's shot
the recent Western I mean basically the last nineteen Spielberg movies,
and many other movies. He's he's a living legend. And
I'm like, oh, and Mauro Fiori, who's my cinematographer from
my film that I made, used to be his gaffer.
Gaffer is right underneath the cinematographer. He's in charge of
(18:47):
all the lighting. So they're friends. So he says, Yannish
happens to be here. Do you want to meet him? So?
I say, oh, my god, you're kidding me. Yeah, Yannish
Kimiski is so. Jannish Kaimiski comes into the room. He's
a Polish guy, he's loud, he's funny. He's just clearly
pounded a cup of coffee because he's speaking a mile
a minute. And he goes, zach Zack, Zack, Zack. I
read that letter that you wrote that woman, and that
(19:10):
was the funniest fucking thing I ever read in my life.
And I go, what, how could you possibly have read?
He goes, because I rented that place right after you
and your friend, and the letter was somehow on the table,
And I gotta tell you, all these years later, I'm
(19:30):
still laughing about how fucking funny that letter was. Oh
my god, amazing, amazing. Yeah, man, isn't that is wild?
He was cracking up. He was quoting it. This is
twenty years ago. He's quoting it. Oh my god. He's like,
(19:53):
you made me laugh so hard. I can't do a
Polish accent, sorry, but he's like, you made me laugh
so hard. He goes, And I had to deal with
that lady for two years. I rented that place and
um and so yeah, but anyway, I just thought that's
that's the end of the story. But it was I'm like,
I'm like sitting there like mega fan geeked out, and
he's telling me that I'm hilarious for a letter I
wrote twenty years ago. Anyway, let's get into the show.
(20:22):
Hit it. We already did that. Oh, then don't hit it.
You know what you should instead of hitting that, hit this. Hey,
we also have this too. I know you know what,
I like you know what? That should be the first
one that you did when we come back from commercial break. Yeah,
(20:45):
a lot of responsibilities now, all right, listen to the show. Um,
there's swanky new suites right that rich folks, the rich
folks can afford um, which is a commentary and a
real thing. Um, we all know. Um they have that
here in uh, definitely in Los Angeles and New York
stater sign. I got it for sure, because we got
that when the kid, Yeah you guarded it, I believe
(21:08):
by one of your friends, and and I remember walking
in and it was nice. And I'm sure there's levels
above what you had even Yeah, absolutely we got the
lower level one. We got the we got was you know,
it's not common and you're not sharing it with someone else.
You got your own private one. They got the ones
that are like, you know, like this, like we're spoofing
(21:28):
in the show. And in fact, I did that for
my dad once, say, when he was ill. They had
him in like a four bedroom or something, and I
remember it's like take out my credit card, Like what
do I gotta pay? Because I'm blessed enough that I
can do that and uh and it was on offer.
So obviously you're gonna do anything you can for your
parents when they're sick. But yeah, so that's a real
(21:49):
thing that exists. Um, if you're listening in another country, Um,
that might not happen in your country, or maybe it does.
I don't know. You took the candy, Jad took the
candy from the that was they took them. I took
the mint off his chest. Yeah, that was funny. Post oppression,
I have to say. Uh. Um, I thought was handled.
(22:09):
You know, the theme one of the main themes of
this is Carla and turk Um and their new baby
and Carla suffering from postpartment depression, which I thought this
was a great public service announcement really for for for
so many women that must go through this. And I
know this aired in two thousand and six, but um,
the way that it was deal with, and the and
(22:30):
the and the beautiful mole speech that Jordan gives Carla
at the end. Was was just I don't know. I
was just proud of us for for putting a positive
message out in the world. Right. Not only that I
thought it was played well. I thought Judy did such
an amazing job. You know, we talked about how great
of an actress she is, but she's really flexing her
chops in this. You know, she's being funny and dramatic
(22:51):
at the at the same time, and that's really hard
to do. Um uh and and she's nailing it. And
then also Christa's speech at the end is is beautiful
and uh so needed and made me laugh so hard.
Also where you know when she turns around and she's like, dude,
shut the fuck up. Turt pretty much a line was
(23:11):
play don't in this play. I laughed at every one
of your reality If you speak again, I will eat you.
I laughed when she said I had this night. You know,
she says, I've had these feelings like I might throw
and then they cut to you or you're like like
the faces you are the faces God? Yeah, man, But
(23:34):
I just I just I was really, I was really
you know, it was my favorite storyline in the in
the show. Uh, this this time around. Elliott made me
really mad in this episode for some reason, and it
wasn't because I'm jealous of her getting off at five o'clock.
Like some of the ship. She was saying, like I
stopped right before and got to ghetto in a neighborhood,
(23:55):
you know what I mean. And you know, she said
like a lot of things where I was like, why, yeah,
this was that key And if this was that key
in Peel Sketch, I would have been like, all right,
we'll get into that. So Elliott walks in. This clearly
(24:16):
is a time in electronics where all these things are
coming out, because all of a sudden this episode, you've
got webcams, You've got taken pictures with phones, You've got
um video chatting, right, You've got texting is a lot.
It just felt like this episode also was a sort
of a trend. Must have been a transitional phase in
(24:38):
in at the time when everyone was sort of switching
over to all these gadgets. Um, well, I remember, I
remember the whole OMG LOL thing. I had no idea
what that was at the time, so it was still
very that was very very new to text and use
those as ways to describe how you were feeling. Now,
(24:58):
it's just like common like we use it in our
everyday language. But right, although sometimes a young person will
send you something and you're like, what I have to
I have to google? What what that that one means?
My kids walking around saying everything is sus I'm like,
what the heck? Because that's suspects, right, I know what
suspect means. Yeah, but everything is such far asy. You're
(25:18):
acting so suss right now. She's talking about the dog
and I'm like, what, how suspicious is this dog acting? Right?
What You're gonna learn lingo from the kids, but I
made cheaper by the dozens. Those kids were speaking like
a different language and like doing things like she meant
(25:42):
like you got spice in your veins or something? Do
you know that one? No, but that's very funny. Shit kids,
Yeah this is. But I don't know if this is
out of I'm sure it's out of style now because
it's been a year. But they were it would like
we go like I think it was at thing. It
(26:05):
was a basketball thing, was vice in your veins? But
then they paired it, which I think was a TikTok
thing with she which meant something else. I don't know,
but they used it for everything. It was like, you know,
the Smurf seems smurf for everything. Yeah, yeah, that's how
they use shesh. Yeah. Anyway, Elliot walks in when I'm
(26:27):
trying to show off to Kim that I've got a
nice body, but I'm using Keith's body. I'm using Keith
and I'm taking a picture of his abs and I go, no,
I've no, I've always had a ninny Oh yeah, that's funny.
Elliot walks in while I'm photographing Keith's ass and she goes,
this reminds me of the time I found you at
that bus stop bent And then you assume it's gonna
be nothing like that. What are you talking about? Yeah?
(26:50):
And then you assume it's gonna be like him hooking
up with a guy or something, and and it's actually
me again taking a picture of his ass, and I go,
I'm getting a little flare off the urinal right yeah,
And then you go, actually this is exactly Yeah, so
JD you know, not saying he's DTF, but he he's
(27:11):
definitely interested in Keith's body very much. So I was
going to ask you about that. I I think JD
does have some fantasies that I think he appreciates the
male form, let's just put it that way. Yes, but
fantasies that his form looked like that form as well. Yes,
(27:32):
I don't think he wants to touch Keith, but he
does maybe. I think I don't think it's wait, hold
on now, is it gay to touch another man? Um? Well,
that's all debatable. Um uh, you know, on the scale,
on the Kinsey scale of of of queerness. Is that
the right way to frame it? Joel? Yeah, it's it's
(27:52):
a spectrum. It's a spectrum, so you might you might
not want to put your peep in in a man,
but you might go ooh that was abs feel nice.
You could certainly appreciate a body form without wanting to
be intimate with it. Right there you go, Thank you
Joell for guiding me through. Ll turns it into like
all of a sudden, turns into vulcan, She turns straight
(28:13):
up into it gets all big, It gets all big
language to everything. Man, I love being a queer vulcan. Well,
I just want to I don't want to upset anyone,
so I want to say everything correctly. So I let Joel,
make sure we're using the correct syntax, right, Joel, Yeah, right,
(28:37):
So I think Joe. I don't think j D wants
to play hide the People with Keith, but I do
think that he it seems as a little into his body.
Oh absolutely, this ex's new partner. What's going on over there?
It's happening. But it's funny though when he watches, when
he's involved with their sex play, he never he never
(28:59):
participates her any he was invited to. He's always just
sort of, oh no, he's participates. He's jumped on the
bed before in that episode, he jumps on the Bed's right,
that's right. We don't know what they We don't know
what happened with them. Elliot must have shut that down. Yeah, absolutely,
we don't really know. Jordan needs a ram um. Yeah,
(29:21):
that was crazy. It was crazy. It was a fantasy
that was crazy. We thought it was crazy for a fantasy.
That was She threw the ram's head on the ground
and she said, he pulls it out and she says,
I'm not done yet. Yeah, that's the show that women
(29:41):
have when they're pregnant, have crazy food cravings. She ate
a live ram. Did Casey ever have food cravings like that.
I M no. She does like her steak medium rare,
but she does not eat live animals. So are you
(30:02):
gonna watch the Oscars in my house? By the way,
the Oscars will have already happened by the time this airs.
But I want to know if you're watching it with us.
The problem with your family is got basketball and shit,
and we do a babysitter. We're going to Palm Springs.
Rocco has a tournament for best. It sounds like you're
gonna watch the Oscars. I know, Joel, you're gonna be
watching the Oscars. Uh yeah, right now. I'm doing a
(30:22):
mad dash to watch all of the films I haven't
seen yet. Have you seen Denzel's performance that's on the
list for Friday Night? You know what? Every what is up?
Why is everybody scared to watch that? Shit? Man? You
know it's gonna be fire? You know what I mean?
I have an idea why it's his performance. I don't
end Frances mcdorman's performance. I don't think anyone downs will
(30:44):
be Holy shit. It's a very artistically done rendition in
that the way that it is filmed and shot is
um You know they're not like in a castle per se.
It's it's done with like light and mood, and it's
Joel Cohen being incredibly artistic, and it's probably brilliant. But
(31:07):
I think a traditional set and traditional Denzel and Francis
McDorman in a real believable environment might have been more
enticing to people. I'm making this up, Daniel, any thoughts
on on my theory, I haven't seen it. I'm also,
you know, a little bit lacking in the Oscar department,
(31:27):
so I would trust your analysis more. I trust your
analysis primarily. I don't know. Well, I haven't seen a
lot of these movies, you know what I mean this
time around? And you know I would Well, she was
a story, Yeah, Donald, I started it, I couldn't finish it. WHOA,
but why didn't you finish it? I thought it's dope,
(31:51):
and I think it's great performances and all of that stuff.
It's just boring. Whoa script? Though it's so good. I
thought I thought the reu White was really really well
done if there was so much talent, and I thought
it was beautifully shot by my new best friend Jannest Kaminsky.
Oh yeah, I didn't say. I didn't say it wasn't beautiful.
(32:14):
I didn't say it wasn't well directed. I didn't say
there were great performances. I just it wasn't my cup
of tea. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay, that's real talk. Hey,
let him have his opinion. As asked me if I
watched Spider Man, did you watch fu? Yeah? Man, I
should have spied dude, you know who shot Spider Man? Who?
(32:37):
Maro Fiori, the cinematographer who shot my film, A good person.
Oh look at that, Look at that? So I'm fancy.
All right, let's get back into the show. Oh, should
we take a break. We're gonna take a quick break,
and when we come back, we're gonna talk more about
this episode of Scrubs, the television show. Let's go out
with this and we're back. We are back, We are back.
(33:11):
All right, We're back. So trampoline floors? Hey, I like that,
I go. I like bouncing, but it is dangerous. Also
a Scrubs Wicki pointed out that why is jd drinking
beer in the fantasy when he doesn't like beer? Right,
it's Jad's fantasy. Well, they clearly wanted to do the
(33:33):
gag with the beer on the trampoline. But and that's
probably very tricky to do with apple teeny. But if
it's Jad's fantasy, he's not drinking beer. No, Todd can't
see the nipple. That shit made me laugh, man, That
was my last biggest the biggest laughing the whole show
once again, Rob mass show comes through. God, Rob, we
(33:53):
are sorry for ever doubting you on set and making
fun of you from running line. But every time he
says something, it's funny. That is the funniest. I can't
see the nipple. I can't see the nipple. Why is
Rob in the lactation because I don't know why the
Todd is there? Man? What is he doing in that?
And how did he hide behind these two ladies before
(34:15):
you know what I mean, he's hiding behind them and
they can't see him, and Turk and Carla can't see
him either, and he pops up out of nowhere. That
is the biggest laugh of the episode is Todd jumping
out in the lactation meaning saying, I can't see the nipple.
But why does this kid come over and point out
that you're African American? That's what I'm saying. What the
fuck was up with the show, yo, Like I'm sitting
(34:38):
here like wait, I don't know, I don't get it.
Where did that come from? That was just like random,
well it was a very weird. It makes me believe. Well,
they needed to set up the idea that Carla would
leave the baby with a child. That's how that's how
out of it she is with her postpartment depression. So
they had to introduce a child neighbor. But what his
(34:58):
line is is, since you're African, I wrote it down.
Since you're African American. I was wondering if I could
borrow some of your Marvin Gay CDs. And and you're not.
You're not taking it back. You're offended in any way
you reach right because I can't come on in, kid, Yeah,
come on in, kid. And by the way, here here
they are. I happen to have my Marvin Gay CDs
(35:20):
at the ready on account of being African American. I
always keep them close by. The fucked up shit is
that everybody should have Marvin Gay CDs back then, you
know what I'm saying, That's just what it is. Let's
just keep it one hundred. That's good music. Good music
is good music is good music. I know, but you
ripped them out like they were in your Marvin Gay CD. Holster.
You don't got him a fucking Marvin Gay catalog, My fucker.
(35:42):
I don't think I ever bought him Marvin Gay CD?
What but I have? You don't have? Let's get at home?
Oh no, I don't. You don't have. What's going on?
Do you? When you're getting busy with your lady? Do
you like go hold on? I don't even married a
long time. You go hold on? Sometimes? You go hold on? Girl?
Let me put on the right song. I'm gonna tell you.
You do that in the movies, but I don't think
(36:03):
I'm gonna tell you something right now. Yeah, keep it
one thousand like you did last week, because that was
very funny. If you had people on my Twitter write
me about how fucking hilarious it was about you slurping
all over your wife's face and my suggestion and I
suggested to put bread in your bedside. Sorry, go ahead,
(36:30):
I forgot what we were talking about. We're talking about
whether you put on music when you're gonna get busy
with you there. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, So look, if
you put the music on, sorry, you gotta put on you,
Let's get it all. I'm Marvin Gaye. Marvin gay got
some real good music to fuck too. I'm just keeping
(36:52):
one hundred one. What other ones besides Let's get it on?
That's the one I know. You could fucking pretty much
fun to anything. Really, it's got to beat to Land's
phase on here to say you can have sex to
any Marvin gay song? Well, yeah, man, think about it. Yeah,
what's going on? Oh no, no, what's going on? But
(37:16):
it's not like a civil rights anthem? Yes, absolutely, but
when you but but when you're hitting that, But when
you're hitting that, that beat is kicking. What's going on?
You know what? Sex without going on without fail? And
I have to time it out right. It's not a
long song. But when I'm I'm getting ready to finish,
(37:37):
I play this song. What you're trying to get into,
what you're trying to do? That helps me finished? What
about when do we but we reference our friend Chugsky died. Yeah,
I miss purse amount for our homies and we poe
(37:59):
with what's going on? What the hell is going on
in this episode? Who wrote this episode? Gabby Allen? Gabby
Allen wrote this episode. But we know the heck. As
we all know, there are many people in the writer's
room that contribute. That might not have been Gabby's joke.
She's just the one with a name on on hikay um.
But we did pour them out for our homies. Yeah,
(38:21):
we pour it out and then I do the with
a Turk's dance once I you know what I mean.
That was very funny by the way, I laughed at
you're with the Turks dance. That's one of my with
the Turks. I like that my kids with a phase on.
Everybody thinks Barbie is a sellout. I think I think
he's I think he's jealous. That's real talk. I know
(38:42):
he's in it to win it as a doctor. Well,
he has his moral compass is telling him and that
he's not going to be a private practist doctor. That's
not the kind of person he is. That's not who
he wants to be. He's not going to do that life.
But there don't want that money. There he is sneaking
in with a with a with a repelling with like
a batman what do you call that thing? Repelling clok
(39:02):
grappling grappling hook because the janitor has sealed over the
entrance to the luxury suite, I assume at night with
a wall. Yes, so Cox figures out the only way
back into the luxury suite is via grappling hook. Yes.
I laughed at her. I laughed at that. First. I
(39:23):
was like, that shit's never gonna hold onto the wall.
And then it obviously does, and he climbs up. But
Batman has a grappling hook that shoots out of a gun, right, yeah,
but he still has then he still has to call,
then he still has to come. No, he has a
zip line too, he has he has a zip line too?
Does he have at if? I think if I were
a super Ted Court has something some Ted Court has
(39:46):
something similar to that. He's kind of man, Yeah, he's
kind of like. Okay, if you're listening Greg Borlaney or
Warner Brothers. When I played Ted Court, I want a
grappling hook that shoots right the gun that shoots a
grappling hook, and then I hit a button and it's
starts pulling me up up the line. How dope is that?
So does Batman have that? Of course I want that.
(40:11):
Of course Batman has that. Batman, Oh, that's weird fantasy
about that about maybe it'll happen. We never know. Look, man, life,
life is so crazy. We're white boarded. I'm gonna put
it on the white board. I wanted to happen, but
I don't know if I don't know what to there's
this new merger, there's all of this stuff that's going on. Man.
I mentioned it to Greg, and I think he thought
(40:33):
I meant the film version, because he said I don't.
He said something like, um, I don't want to see
what he said. But but I don't think he thought
I meant this led leagues of legend versions tomorrow. Yeah,
it's just would be an arrow verse, that's what it
would be, you know what I mean. But then we're
gonna spin off and do an HBO Max show. That's me.
(40:56):
Put it on the white board. Put it on the whiteboard.
What's the show um um with um with Anthony Mackie
and Sebastian stand. Oh yeah, we're gonna we're gonna do that.
But our show, that would be dope. That would be
so fire, Oh my gosh. Yeah, we'd have to stay
in good shape to be in those tights. I can't
(41:17):
have your food out. Okay, listen, I think it should
be better, better, better better. Um. So, then Carla leaves
(41:37):
the baby with the with the with the Jewish little boy.
We assume he's Jewish because he says masl tough to
her on the baby because he sees that her nipples
are leaking through her shirt. Yes so, um Turk walks
in defined the baby with the Marvin Gay listening Jewish
(41:57):
kid who appreciates Carla's leaky nipples. Yes. Now, Churk runs
to the hospital with the babies and I say, hi,
whatever I call you, brown Baron, I go Hi, Mocha cub. Yes, well,
that's this is forever on my Instagram feed. Whenever I
(42:21):
post pictures of my kids, look Atsmocha cubs. Moca cubs,
Look at the Mocha cub, very beautiful children. Every time
I post them, they say, oh my goodness, his children
are so beautiful. Thank you to any And then they
say they look so much like Donald. So they're really
indirectly giving you a compliment, not only on your seed
but on your face because they're like, oh my god,
(42:42):
they're so beautiful. They look so much like Donald. Their
beauty comes from their mother. Man, it doesn't come from me.
I promise you that I agree anyway, Zaly love you.
Let's talk about Keith and a singlet again. Back to
the Homoway ronicism. Keith shows up in a singlet with
a very large package. By the way, I don't know
if Keith augmented, but he was representing. I think that
(43:06):
was I think that's the point I say, nice single,
it does it come in hetero? I bet you. So
many wrestlers were like, what I think wrestling the sport
is pretty homo erotic. I mean, I'm not I mean
(43:29):
it's fighting, It's it's combat. Yeah, so everything is homo
erotic when it comes to fighting. That's just what it is. Man.
When you're in high school, you are in this heightened
state of blaring testosterone in pub and I remember wrestling
with my friends. I'm not saying the sexual, but you're
(43:49):
like you're like letting it out, and you're like you're
like a young You're like an animal. It needs to
Like I look at my you know, it's like it's
like animals, like dogs, we need to wrestle and get
it out. And um so I just see that. I
don't know, I just think that I don't mind all
of that shit. I don't mind wrestling and stuff like
that and rolling around and stuff. It's when the sweat
(44:10):
drips on you that I got an interview with. That's
when I'm like, God, man, why you gotta sweat so much?
Like that's the one thing that I fucking fear about
MMA and grappling. That's just the worst. Man. You'll be
wrestling and you'll be sweating, and shit, I don't care.
I don't give a fuck if you're nuts on my
head while you're sucking trying to choke me out on
all of that shit. That's fine. I get it. We
(44:32):
are in combat. It is, you know, that's what it is.
But mofucker, why the sweat? You know what I mean?
And I'm a sweating guy too. That shit drifts in
your eyes, in your mouth, on your face. That shit
is not fun. It's like when you're playing basketball and
Pat Ewan's next year and you're like, God, throw this
motherfucker a towel or something. Are you not allowed to
(44:54):
have a towel on you when you when you play basketball? No, man,
you're not allowed to have a to No man, No
know what I'm saying. You could tuck a towel in
your shorts. That's no no no no no no no
no no no no no. Like the hype man always
has a code basketball player, right, the hype man always
has that hyde man always has a towel. That's the
(45:17):
title of my autobiography. I don't know why a basketball
player isn't allowed to tuck a little wash cloth or
not a wash cloth, but a little tallet in his pants.
When I got the jersey. You can wipe it off
with the jersey, or you can wear a headband, right, yeah,
but that don't really stop it either. Listen, So when
you were wrestling, though, that's what happens. Man. The wrestling
(45:40):
part is to find that. I don't know, I don't
think anybody cares about that. It's the sweat, Okay, Um,
very funny. Christ's entrance a La Jurassic Park, isn't child
They even did the cup of water that they even
(46:00):
did the couple of water thing where the like in
Jurassic Park when you see like the water. Yeah, and
then I'm scared and she looked scary. Um, I'll be
honest with you, she looked beautiful. Well I'm gonna keep her.
You can't help but look beautiful. But she did look
they did make her out to seem like a scary character. Yeah,
(46:24):
but it didn't work. I'm sorry, Chris, Chris, it's too beautiful,
you know what I'm saying. So, Chris, the whole thing,
that whole thing that's this is what I don't get.
The whole thing about being big and pregnant and everything
like that, and being full and that not and that
being scary is some bullshit, man. That's some straight up bullshit.
And beauty and everything, man, And the fact that the
(46:47):
fact that these motherfuckers act like they scared of that shit,
it's some bullshit as well. Man. That's just me personally.
I get it. In the show, they're trying to make
jokes about she's supposed to she ain't a ram dude. Um,
she's scared. I know that's that's yeah. I get that.
I get all of that Ram. I get all of
that stuff. Can I just love that Bill is clearly
(47:09):
still in his animal face because they're bringing rams to
set um so um. I thought the scene with Krista
and you and Judy was really beautiful. That that song
was so beautiful. I wrote it down. It's the Crane
Wife three by the DECEMBRS and it's such a pretty
song as Jordan is consoling Carla and telling her not
(47:32):
to be afraid to seek help for postpartum depression and
how common it is and not to feel like a failure,
and telling Turk to shut the fuck up every time
he tries to weigh in. And I just thought that
was really great, As I said it being an episode,
I like it when Scrubs has messages that really can
help people and resonate with people. And there's so many
women who suffered from postpartment depression, and I felt like
(47:54):
we were, in a sense doing a public service by
by normalizing it and explaining that you can get helpful it.
I was gonna have Casey come on a show. I
don't know if she experienced postpart and depression, but you know,
I you know, I'm I think you'd know it. I
think you would know well, you know there's something like
like we were talking about spectrums. Yeah, lets to it,
(48:17):
of course, um and uh, but I was gonna I
asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She
was like, yeah, now that's okay. Um, why would you
The episode ends um and and Carl has chosen to
um go on some manual presence which are clearly helping,
and she says, if you talk openly about this, I'm
(48:38):
gonna show everyone that time you tried to grow your
hair out. Now, what I don't understand is why is
that a framed picture that's that's that's on in the
living room? Why why that? And why would he take
a picture of it? Why would he be like at
some point Turk would be like, Yo, you know what,
this shit ain't working way before. Why is it in
(49:02):
the living room? I don't know, dude, I don't know.
It's just I don't I don't know. This is a
wacky season. Things are things are crazy. It's very funny.
There are very funny jokes in all of these shows. Uh,
but some of these things aren't tracking anymore. It's like
we're starting to you know, like like you said, the
(49:23):
whole beer instead of the apple teeny. I get the
joke is funny, but you know, all right six huh
And it ends with me really missing Elizabeth. Now we
all know what's coming with Elizabeth. I won't give any
spoilers if you're happy to be someone that doesn't know.
But um, it ends it ends on a melancholic note
(49:44):
of Jad really missing her and um well it also
ends with something that, uh, we don't talk about and enough, Actually,
Elliott's love for Jade is still very very strong, regardless
(50:04):
of you know, regardless of you know, what's going on
between the two of you know, she has a boyfriend now,
he has a baby mama on the way. But Elliott
truly still Elliott truly still loves j d. She did
the whole the webcamp thing so he can talk to
(50:27):
his girlfriend and everything like that. These are things that
someone who is a true friend. But do you think
that she realizes that it's more than just oh, I
love you so much, You're such a good friend. We've
been through a lot together. Or do you think she realizes, like,
I still, I'm gonna keep this to myself, but I
still have feelings for him. I don't know. I think
(50:48):
she's keeping it to herself. I think I think she
knows inside she still has feelings for him, and she's
doing this because, you know, I don't know how to
put it. She involves him in everything, man, she involves
him in her sex life, she involves him, they live together,
like all of these things, you know, she's given him
a place to stay. All of these things are things
(51:08):
that people when somebody loves you, that's what they do
for you, you know what I mean. But we know
they're gonna end up together, and that's what I'm saying.
So those feelings of love next level of like I'm
in love with you love are I think she has.
They're lying, they might be lying, dormant, and she's not
really like present to them, but they're there, right because
(51:31):
look at all the wonderful things she does for this guy. Yeah,
but also he's been such an asshole to her. I mean,
he's still an asshole to her. She got a fucking
fancy new job and he's fucking shitting on her for well,
he's he's trying to hold the same moral compass as
as doctor Cox. Um, because Cox is his hero. He's
he's not doing He's following the footsteps of Cox and saying, no,
(51:53):
I don't. I'm not gonna sell out right now and
go to private practice. I'm gonna I'm gonna work for
this hospital. I wish I could carry this slad sound
around in me all day. Um, that's our show, every buddy.
(52:15):
We don't have a color today because I'm sorry, I
have to race off to to work on my film. Um,
please forgive me. I know everybody loves The Caller, but
I am in the final stages of finishing a Good
Person starring the legendary Morgan Freeman and the legendary Florence
Pugh and the legendary Molly Shannon. Um and UM, I
have to go um to coloring where I'm gonna make
(52:38):
it look even prettier and maybe see honest Kaminski again.
But UM tell you, I will. But he doesn't care
about you because you didn't write the most funny letter
he's ever Um, but um the letter? Did you mention
me in the letter? I don't remember the letter I
wrote it twenty years ago, but this dude wrote if
(52:59):
he remember, if I ask him, be like listen, I
don't want to bring up my best friend. But did
I mention him in the letter? He wanted to know?
I will. I will ask him if I see him. Um,
And then that's when you bring up you know, and
he's a really good actor. So I don't know what
you know you got going on nowadays. I don't think,
but I don't think Yannish decides who Spielberg casts. I
(53:19):
think he just photographs it beautifully. But if he would
be like Spielberg checked this young brother out Spielberg, you
think coming from you think so in your mind. There's
a scenario where Yannish called Spielberg and is like, I
read a letter twenty years ago and there's some African
American who's mentioned in it. I think we should consider
(53:41):
for some of your films. That's well, that's what's in
your mind. Yes, okay, this Hollywood man, anything can happen.
And on that No, six seven eight, sure we made
up here. I said, here's the stories net all should know.
(54:05):
So gather around you here are gather around
Donald phase on testing one two three four Donald phase
on testing one two three four? Are you testing? Are
you testing as yours your microphone set. I've got some
new toys to play with over here, don I don't
give a shit about two toys right now, buddy, I'm
sick of your face. I'm sick of your face. Why oh,
(00:21):
because all I watch. Oh I don't watch it on purpose,
but my daughter keeps playing this damn cheaper body does.
Thank you too. That's my number one fan, my god
daughter right there. Oh my gosh. So you're having to
watch having to watch. I do watch it. I have
to watch it because she's watching it all the time,
like back to back to back to back to back.
That shit's on twenty four to seven. Dude, it's it's
(00:47):
it's it's ridiculous. And then having to do a rewatch
and then having to look at your face again, I
can't believe it. I'm so sicky of face, buddy. I
love you so much. I love you so much, so much,
and I love that wild there. Who is how old?
She's six six? So if you have a six year old, listen,
(01:08):
let them see Cheaper by the dozen. She's the target demo. Well,
everybody's really the target demo. You're so, I know, man,
thank you. Hold on one second, Hold on one second.
My wife wants to say something. Play the song, Casey,
come down here, tell me what to do. Hey, I
(01:34):
just have to tell you. So yesterday I was picking
Wilder up at art camp and she was refusing to
get in the car, and I was like, Wilder, we
gotta go. And and somebody said, well, what time is it?
She goes, It's wine time? And I think it's what
because first of all, I don't even drink wine. I
barely drink it all. Is that in the movie? Yes,
(01:54):
I guess yes, someone says it's wine time. Yeah. I
was like, oh my god, we've got to cut her off.
That's number one fan right there. She's got. She she
sits and repeats the dial she says the dialogue with
the I put the video. Casey posted this video that
was so adorable of what time was it in the morning. Oh,
(02:16):
it's like seven thirty in the morning, seven thirty in
the morning. She's got. The movie opens with a Beyonce
song and she's like dancing around the living room getting
getting her breakfast underneath her blanket all ready to watch it.
She's like, and he goes, you're gonna watch it again? Well,
because and they're on Spreme break, so we don't have
a lot going on, so they're watching a lot of TV.
(02:38):
I just love the Donald repeat. I just love that
Donald's being forced to watch me over and over and again.
Oh he laughs. He's not going to tell you that,
but I'm not gonna lappen. Yeah good, yeah, he laughs.
All right, thank you, love I love you too. That's
just funny, though, man, I'm not gonna lie it's funny.
Before you got on, Daniel was just like, because Daniel
and Joel came to the premiere and before you got on,
(03:00):
Daniel was like, I gotta tell you that movie is
really funny. It was really funny. That's it's funny man.
And uh you know, uh, the uh the Daniel sisters
are great in it. Man, it's good to see them
in something again. Man. There. Yeah, you know, I don't
know if you were a Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High,
but I knew that that was there. That was their jam.
Oh man. I had crushes on the both of them. Men. Uh,
(03:23):
they they were great in it. Uh. I got to
work with Brittany uh uh in Skyline Action, the whole cast,
all the amazing freaking gab, the kids, Uh, the the dad. Uh.
What's he? He nickname his tree? He goes by tree.
(03:45):
He's uh because he's probably as big as a tree.
He's a giant. But his acting is fucking amazing. He's
great to uh Uh Erica, She's amazing, like, oh, you know,
just like it's at it. It's familiar faces too, you know,
and everybody's in it. You know. It's just such an
(04:07):
amazing it's a it's an amazing family movie. I have
no idea of man, thank you. Yeah, I'm so happy
that people love. It's funny. I had a really funny
moment because I'm trying to help my parents buy a
house and I never get recognized by kids because I've
never done anything for kids, um and other than Chicken
Little obviously, which they're not gonna recognize you from that.
(04:28):
And this is my very first thing that's ever been
you know, most of my stuff, you know, obviously Scrubs
was risque and and and kids weren't watching that, and
all my movies are pretty much So I'm walking down
the street and this was like the next day and
I'm I'm holding my mind. I got my mom's arm
because she's walking with a cane these days. And this
woman comes out of nowhere with two little young boys,
(04:50):
probably seven, and she goes sauce king. It's the sauce
King because my character creates a sauce in the movie.
And the two little boys face is lit up, and
I was like, I had this beautiful moment that was like,
you know, I've been used to getting recognized since since
since I got famous with Scrubs, But this moment was
like seeing a kid's face light up seeing me. It
(05:11):
was something I don't know, it's something cool about it,
because it's amazing. Can I tell you something? And on
the selfish level, just as sauce king, as as a
as a it just it's it's longevity. Also with your career,
you're touching a new audience or audience that had no
idea who you were, right is now you know what
(05:33):
I mean? I child has any idea who I am? No,
Well they do now they do. Now they do now
they do. Now that's you know what I mean. And
they're gonna grow up with you now too. You know
what I'm saying, I hope we get this is It's
so amazing, dude. I'm so happy for you. Thank you brother,
thank you, and thanks for being so supportive and and
(05:54):
thank you. You missed. We weren't able to come to
the premiere and because you had to work. But it
was so fun watching, uh, your kids watch the premiere.
And every time there's a there was a music queue
because Kenyan got Disney to pay for them songs. There's
the soundtrack from He Got That. I don't know what
got Beyonce. I don't know what this soundtrack wants to cost,
(06:14):
but Kenya said, make it happen, and h every time
there was a song, your daughter hopped up out of
her seat and she was just dancing along. She was
having the best time, telling you it's her new favorite movie. Um,
I love it. I love it so that. Okay, there's
our There's Our Sheeper by the Doesn't Plug. Please check
it out if you haven't, it's on Disney Plus. Um
(06:36):
it came out last week and it's been It's been
a lot of fun hearing people and their families enjoy it.
There she is? What up? Queen? Joel and Joel are
you doing anything to propagate the rumors that the people
want me to play Ted Cord. Um, you are dialed
(06:58):
into this universe. Yes, listen. I posted it in my
stories like maybe two weeks ago, when I got a
bunch of messages being like when will Zach suit up?
I'm here for it. I will tell all of the
DC people anytime I see them. It's right there in
front of you, guys. We're ready and hold on now,
hold on, now, listen, here's the thing. Now, if you
(07:21):
get to play Ted Chord, do I get to still
play Blue Beetle? Because I'm a little worried. I'm a
little worried. Man freaking CW didn't pick up Legends or
Tomorrow yet, and I don't know, you know what I'm saying.
I'm starting to get a little worried. They picked up Flash,
they picked up Kung Fu, picked up the football shit,
(07:44):
they picked up all that other stuff. I didn't hear
Legend or Tomorrow. Does that mean that if you get
chosen as Ted Chord, I still get to play Blue Beetle?
We should call Greg Berlany live on the show and
surprise and ask him. By the way, we've got some
new sound effects Donald, because I have expanded my repertoire
a little bit. This is when I this is my
(08:05):
Donald phase on intro track. Wait, do it again? Do
it again? It's a I'm like a Seinfeld drum. No,
it's gonna scratch, bro, it's still Seinfeld dish. What is
(08:28):
it so black? Seinfeld? It's blind. It's blind. Now, when
you have a joke that doesn't work, that's what I hurt.
This is gonna hurt. You can't discriminate, though, you better
not discriminate that. Now. I can tell you. You You got
(08:52):
a new job, and you gotta job you're really excited about. Yeah,
but make that money, make that money. Um, we got this.
Who's gonna get this? That's fire, dude, that's fire. When
(09:16):
does that come in? I don't know. We're gonna we're
how about drop it right now? One more time? Hey
the show, y'all? Yeah, it's our new intro music after
the theme song goes after our theme song. But it's
the breakdown, like when James Brown breaking down and he
(09:37):
just and he just dafinis it. Oh, come on, man, Donald,
I I'm getting back in shape. I'm back on the wagon. Well,
if you gotta play ted Cord, you gotta get back
in shape. You can play. I gotta get in that suit,
and you gotta get in that. You can't if it happens,
you can't have Come on, you can't have a fopa
in a suit. Donald, Oh my god, I'm just telling you.
(10:10):
If we're gonna strap on, strap in, not strap on
both boy your foot, you're just sticking your foot deeper
and deeper. This episode of the show has so much
homo eroticism. Oh, it's got racist shit. Who wrote this stuff?
I don't know. Elliott is clearly a Republican. Clearly clearly
(10:31):
a Republican. We can talk about that. We're gonna get
into all that. All I know is one thing's for sure.
I'm documenting the Keith's body and claiming it is my own. Yeah,
you know what, How about we started like this seven
eight about show we made about a bunch of time nurses.
(11:11):
I laughed a bunch. Yeah, I was confused a little
bit too, my friend with money. Guys, we are in
six oh five, and um, I got a very interesting
proposition last night about this podcast. I'm so excited to
tell you guys about it, but I don't know if
I can. I don't think I can tell the fans
yet ready, Daniel exactly, or I'll tell you and then Daniel,
(11:33):
you'll assess how you bleep it out. Okay. I met
the CFO of and she said I love the podcast,
why don't you guys? And and fuck you. Yeah that happened.
And then this morning and I thought she like had
(11:53):
a buzz or whatever. And then this morning she texted
me about it. Oh she's for real. Then yeah, she's
our next day follow up, the next day early. This
has to happen. All right, fans, we can't tell you yet,
but put it this way. The podcast is on such
fuego that people are hitting us up from all over.
That's amazing. Exactly how you do all this business, that's incredible. Wow.
(12:18):
That's the thing about Hollywood is you can go to
you can you can. I got to hang out with Alpaccio.
Listen to what's happened last week. I went to a
I went to a Shabbat dinner where I hung out
with Alpaccino. Wow, Okay, I sat next to Alpuccino and
I was so nervous and he's so cool, and everyone
at the table obviously basically just like, come on, tell
us stories, and he was telling stories and apparently there's
(12:42):
like the secret club that if you're friends with Puccino
or you know someone where he screens old thirty five
millimeter prints at at either the New Beverly that's Tarantino's
theater right or wherever. And and then after does Q
and A's And it's not like charge. It's not like
charged or anything. It's just like you gotta know someone.
And then but guys, I'm like, I got my foot
(13:03):
in the door. The woman who organizes it, I met her,
I gave her my number. I go, I love al
so much, Please UM invite me, and she goes, yeah,
I'll make sure you're invited, and I'll try and get
you guys invited, but like like not necessarily like super
famous ones like he referenced he's done so many movies. Yeah,
like the referenced Scarecrow, which I've never seen, which I
guess is him and Hackman Wow. And then um and
(13:24):
Eli Roth was also at the table, and he's like,
he's like best buddies with Tarantino, and Eli Roth was like,
I think Tarantino might have a print of Scarecrow. I
could get it from him. And I would be like,
I was like, oh, that would be great, and I
was just like, I can't how dream dream? Then Eli
Roth and I started doing impressions of him from Glen
(13:46):
Garry Glen Roth, and then oh my god, they have
the craziest story he's got. Hold on. I just gotta
say one thing before you get to this craziest story.
This is just a a little interlude into my love for
Appucino as motivational talk in a movie ever, is any
(14:07):
given Sunday. Oh, he's in the locker room talking at
the end of the movie when they're about to go
into the playoff game. That shit is so powerful and
I'm gonna I'm gonna keep it one hundred. I don't
know how much Alpaccino knows about football, but whoever that
character was, he was playing. If you ever want to
(14:27):
get motivated, if you ever want to feel some type
of emotion and go out into the world charged and
ready to go, listen to that monologue in the locker
room at the end of the morning. Well, I love him.
I think he's I mean, such a fucking genius. And
it was just cool to sit next to him and
hear him tell stories and He was just so personal.
You know, you think a lot of old school legends
(14:48):
like that would be like, you know, let's just have
a glass hall and I don't want to talk about
my work that. He was the opposite. He was holding
court at the table. People are asking him questions. He's like, oh,
I got a funny story about that. Now let me
tell you something. And it was just amazing. It was
so cool. You said you had something else that was crazy.
The other story, that's hilarious. Okay, So make long story short.
Donald and I. We've told you about the loft we
(15:10):
stayed in when we were our first hiatus from Scrubs
in Manhattan and soho, and we put a ping pong
table in there, right, Yeah? Was there one in there?
Did we buy one? I don't know if we bought one,
but there was a ping pong table, and yes, and
we hung and we told you about the stories there,
and we had some really fun nights there. We were
(15:30):
just Donald's had been famous before, but it was my
first time being a known actor, and I was doing
Shakespeare in the Park, which was like a lifelong dream,
and I was cranking Michelle branch Um. Everything was perfect.
Turned me inside out, so I can see that was
the summer of every to me. I had my CD player,
(15:52):
remember I had my yellow CD player that yeah, you know,
you know, you know that I had that thing that
you clamped over and locked the sony. Yet I don't
have everywhere skipping. You know this, This this episode has
a lot of shit like that. Anyway, But yeah, go on,
(16:12):
so we gotta get in the episode. But let me
just tell you the story. So when we left Donald,
I don't even know if you know this, but when
we left this woman, we hadn't done anything in the place.
The place was it was not it was not set
up nice. It was an artist studio. It just happened
to have like a bathroom in two beds, and it
was it was. It was pretty rough, it was. But
we were just so happy to be in a giant loft,
pretending we were in the movie Big in soho um.
(16:35):
But it was not like a redone, right. It was
like a rough, raw space. And this woman who rented us,
had rented it to us, had the audacity to try
and keep our deposit. And she sent me this long
list of all the things that were wrong, um that
she needed to repaint. There was a missing missing cont
(16:55):
shell in the bathroom, that like that, like this, that
other thing, and it was so it was such bullshit
because we hadn't done anything to her fucking loft. Okay,
So for some reason, I took the time. I was
so mad, I took the time to write the sassiest,
funniest response to her claims. And it wasn't I wasn't
(17:19):
like being a dick. I was just being like a
wise ass. But I was being a funny wise ass.
And it was a It was a letter for one.
No one would ever see it, but this woman. It
wasn't like I was going to litigate it or anything.
It wasn't we probably she probably kept our fucking deposit
for all I know. But I but I took the
time to really sit there and write the the funny
as hell, you've got to be fucking kidding me letter, right.
(17:43):
I haven't thought about it since this was two thousand
and one, one two, whenever freaking scrubs for we had
one thousand two. Okay, So I'm coloring my movie, which
is when you go into um, what's um? When you
go into a studio and you sit with a colorist
and that you're cinematographer and you're adjusting all the color
(18:04):
and making it look as pretty as possible. Think of
it like a zillion dollar Instagram room. And and all
of a sudden, my DP says, Yannish Kaminski is here.
Would you like to meet him? Now? For those you
don't know, Jannish Kaimiski is one of the most famous
cinematographers of all time. He's shot nineteen of Spielberg's movies.
(18:25):
He's got two oscars. He shot Schindler's List, He's shot
the recent Western I mean basically the last nineteen Spielberg movies,
and many other movies. He's he's a living legend. And
I'm like, oh, and Mauro Fiori, who's my cinematographer from
my film that I made, used to be his gaffer.
Gaffer is right underneath the cinematographer. He's in charge of
(18:47):
all the lighting. So they're friends. So he says, Yannish
happens to be here. Do you want to meet him? So?
I say, oh, my god, you're kidding me. Yeah, Yannish
Kimiski is so. Jannish Kaimiski comes into the room. He's
a Polish guy, he's loud, he's funny. He's just clearly
pounded a cup of coffee because he's speaking a mile
a minute. And he goes, zach Zack, Zack, Zack. I
read that letter that you wrote that woman, and that
(19:10):
was the funniest fucking thing I ever read in my life.
And I go, what, how could you possibly have read?
He goes, because I rented that place right after you
and your friend, and the letter was somehow on the table,
And I gotta tell you, all these years later, I'm
(19:30):
still laughing about how fucking funny that letter was. Oh
my god, amazing, amazing. Yeah, man, isn't that is wild?
He was cracking up. He was quoting it. This is
twenty years ago. He's quoting it. Oh my god. He's like,
(19:53):
you made me laugh so hard. I can't do a
Polish accent, sorry, but he's like, you made me laugh
so hard. He goes, And I had to deal with
that lady for two years. I rented that place and
um and so yeah, but anyway, I just thought that's
that's the end of the story. But it was I'm like,
I'm like sitting there like mega fan geeked out, and
he's telling me that I'm hilarious for a letter I
wrote twenty years ago. Anyway, let's get into the show.
(20:22):
Hit it. We already did that. Oh, then don't hit it.
You know what you should instead of hitting that, hit this. Hey,
we also have this too. I know you know what,
I like you know what? That should be the first
one that you did when we come back from commercial break. Yeah,
(20:45):
a lot of responsibilities now, all right, listen to the show. Um,
there's swanky new suites right that rich folks, the rich
folks can afford um, which is a commentary and a
real thing. Um, we all know. Um they have that
here in uh, definitely in Los Angeles and New York
stater sign. I got it for sure, because we got
that when the kid, Yeah you guarded it, I believe
(21:08):
by one of your friends, and and I remember walking
in and it was nice. And I'm sure there's levels
above what you had even Yeah, absolutely we got the
lower level one. We got the we got was you know,
it's not common and you're not sharing it with someone else.
You got your own private one. They got the ones
that are like, you know, like this, like we're spoofing
(21:28):
in the show. And in fact, I did that for
my dad once, say, when he was ill. They had
him in like a four bedroom or something, and I
remember it's like take out my credit card, Like what
do I gotta pay? Because I'm blessed enough that I
can do that and uh and it was on offer.
So obviously you're gonna do anything you can for your
parents when they're sick. But yeah, so that's a real
(21:49):
thing that exists. Um, if you're listening in another country, Um,
that might not happen in your country, or maybe it does.
I don't know. You took the candy, Jad took the
candy from the that was they took them. I took
the mint off his chest. Yeah, that was funny. Post oppression,
I have to say. Uh. Um, I thought was handled.
(22:09):
You know, the theme one of the main themes of
this is Carla and turk Um and their new baby
and Carla suffering from postpartment depression, which I thought this
was a great public service announcement really for for for
so many women that must go through this. And I
know this aired in two thousand and six, but um,
the way that it was deal with, and the and
(22:30):
the and the beautiful mole speech that Jordan gives Carla
at the end. Was was just I don't know. I
was just proud of us for for putting a positive
message out in the world. Right. Not only that I
thought it was played well. I thought Judy did such
an amazing job. You know, we talked about how great
of an actress she is, but she's really flexing her
chops in this. You know, she's being funny and dramatic
(22:51):
at the at the same time, and that's really hard
to do. Um uh and and she's nailing it. And
then also Christa's speech at the end is is beautiful
and uh so needed and made me laugh so hard.
Also where you know when she turns around and she's like, dude,
shut the fuck up. Turt pretty much a line was
(23:11):
play don't in this play. I laughed at every one
of your reality If you speak again, I will eat you.
I laughed when she said I had this night. You know,
she says, I've had these feelings like I might throw
and then they cut to you or you're like like
the faces you are the faces God? Yeah, man, But
(23:34):
I just I just I was really, I was really
you know, it was my favorite storyline in the in
the show. Uh, this this time around. Elliott made me
really mad in this episode for some reason, and it
wasn't because I'm jealous of her getting off at five o'clock.
Like some of the ship. She was saying, like I
stopped right before and got to ghetto in a neighborhood,
(23:55):
you know what I mean. And you know, she said
like a lot of things where I was like, why, yeah,
this was that key And if this was that key
in Peel Sketch, I would have been like, all right,
we'll get into that. So Elliott walks in. This clearly
(24:16):
is a time in electronics where all these things are
coming out, because all of a sudden this episode, you've
got webcams, You've got taken pictures with phones, You've got
um video chatting, right, You've got texting is a lot.
It just felt like this episode also was a sort
of a trend. Must have been a transitional phase in
(24:38):
in at the time when everyone was sort of switching
over to all these gadgets. Um, well, I remember, I
remember the whole OMG LOL thing. I had no idea
what that was at the time, so it was still
very that was very very new to text and use
those as ways to describe how you were feeling. Now,
(24:58):
it's just like common like we use it in our
everyday language. But right, although sometimes a young person will
send you something and you're like, what I have to
I have to google? What what that that one means?
My kids walking around saying everything is sus I'm like,
what the heck? Because that's suspects, right, I know what
suspect means. Yeah, but everything is such far asy. You're
(25:18):
acting so suss right now. She's talking about the dog
and I'm like, what, how suspicious is this dog acting? Right?
What You're gonna learn lingo from the kids, but I
made cheaper by the dozens. Those kids were speaking like
a different language and like doing things like she meant
(25:42):
like you got spice in your veins or something? Do
you know that one? No, but that's very funny. Shit kids,
Yeah this is. But I don't know if this is
out of I'm sure it's out of style now because
it's been a year. But they were it would like
we go like I think it was at thing. It
(26:05):
was a basketball thing, was vice in your veins? But
then they paired it, which I think was a TikTok
thing with she which meant something else. I don't know,
but they used it for everything. It was like, you know,
the Smurf seems smurf for everything. Yeah, yeah, that's how
they use shesh. Yeah. Anyway, Elliot walks in when I'm
(26:27):
trying to show off to Kim that I've got a
nice body, but I'm using Keith's body. I'm using Keith
and I'm taking a picture of his abs and I go, no,
I've no, I've always had a ninny Oh yeah, that's funny.
Elliot walks in while I'm photographing Keith's ass and she goes,
this reminds me of the time I found you at
that bus stop bent And then you assume it's gonna
be nothing like that. What are you talking about? Yeah?
(26:50):
And then you assume it's gonna be like him hooking
up with a guy or something, and and it's actually
me again taking a picture of his ass, and I go,
I'm getting a little flare off the urinal right yeah,
And then you go, actually this is exactly Yeah, so
JD you know, not saying he's DTF, but he he's
(27:11):
definitely interested in Keith's body very much. So I was
going to ask you about that. I I think JD
does have some fantasies that I think he appreciates the
male form, let's just put it that way. Yes, but
fantasies that his form looked like that form as well. Yes,
(27:32):
I don't think he wants to touch Keith, but he
does maybe. I think I don't think it's wait, hold
on now, is it gay to touch another man? Um? Well,
that's all debatable. Um uh, you know, on the scale,
on the Kinsey scale of of of queerness. Is that
the right way to frame it? Joel? Yeah, it's it's
(27:52):
a spectrum. It's a spectrum, so you might you might
not want to put your peep in in a man,
but you might go ooh that was abs feel nice.
You could certainly appreciate a body form without wanting to
be intimate with it. Right there you go, Thank you
Joell for guiding me through. Ll turns it into like
all of a sudden, turns into vulcan, She turns straight
(28:13):
up into it gets all big, It gets all big
language to everything. Man, I love being a queer vulcan. Well,
I just want to I don't want to upset anyone,
so I want to say everything correctly. So I let Joel,
make sure we're using the correct syntax, right, Joel, Yeah, right,
(28:37):
So I think Joe. I don't think j D wants
to play hide the People with Keith, but I do
think that he it seems as a little into his body.
Oh absolutely, this ex's new partner. What's going on over there?
It's happening. But it's funny though when he watches, when
he's involved with their sex play, he never he never
(28:59):
participates her any he was invited to. He's always just
sort of, oh no, he's participates. He's jumped on the
bed before in that episode, he jumps on the Bed's right,
that's right. We don't know what they We don't know
what happened with them. Elliot must have shut that down. Yeah, absolutely,
we don't really know. Jordan needs a ram um. Yeah,
(29:21):
that was crazy. It was crazy. It was a fantasy
that was crazy. We thought it was crazy for a fantasy.
That was She threw the ram's head on the ground
and she said, he pulls it out and she says,
I'm not done yet. Yeah, that's the show that women
(29:41):
have when they're pregnant, have crazy food cravings. She ate
a live ram. Did Casey ever have food cravings like that.
I M no. She does like her steak medium rare,
but she does not eat live animals. So are you
(30:02):
gonna watch the Oscars in my house? By the way,
the Oscars will have already happened by the time this airs.
But I want to know if you're watching it with us.
The problem with your family is got basketball and shit,
and we do a babysitter. We're going to Palm Springs.
Rocco has a tournament for best. It sounds like you're
gonna watch the Oscars. I know, Joel, you're gonna be
watching the Oscars. Uh yeah, right now. I'm doing a
(30:22):
mad dash to watch all of the films I haven't
seen yet. Have you seen Denzel's performance that's on the
list for Friday Night? You know what? Every what is up?
Why is everybody scared to watch that? Shit? Man? You
know it's gonna be fire? You know what I mean?
I have an idea why it's his performance. I don't
end Frances mcdorman's performance. I don't think anyone downs will
(30:44):
be Holy shit. It's a very artistically done rendition in
that the way that it is filmed and shot is
um You know they're not like in a castle per se.
It's it's done with like light and mood, and it's
Joel Cohen being incredibly artistic, and it's probably brilliant. But
(31:07):
I think a traditional set and traditional Denzel and Francis
McDorman in a real believable environment might have been more
enticing to people. I'm making this up, Daniel, any thoughts
on on my theory, I haven't seen it. I'm also,
you know, a little bit lacking in the Oscar department,
(31:27):
so I would trust your analysis more. I trust your
analysis primarily. I don't know. Well, I haven't seen a
lot of these movies, you know what I mean this
time around? And you know I would Well, she was
a story, Yeah, Donald, I started it, I couldn't finish it. WHOA,
but why didn't you finish it? I thought it's dope,
(31:51):
and I think it's great performances and all of that stuff.
It's just boring. Whoa script? Though it's so good. I
thought I thought the reu White was really really well
done if there was so much talent, and I thought
it was beautifully shot by my new best friend Jannest Kaminsky.
Oh yeah, I didn't say. I didn't say it wasn't beautiful.
(32:14):
I didn't say it wasn't well directed. I didn't say
there were great performances. I just it wasn't my cup
of tea. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay, that's real talk. Hey,
let him have his opinion. As asked me if I
watched Spider Man, did you watch fu? Yeah? Man, I
should have spied dude, you know who shot Spider Man? Who?
(32:37):
Maro Fiori, the cinematographer who shot my film, A good person.
Oh look at that, Look at that? So I'm fancy.
All right, let's get back into the show. Oh, should
we take a break. We're gonna take a quick break,
and when we come back, we're gonna talk more about
this episode of Scrubs, the television show. Let's go out
with this and we're back. We are back, We are back.
(33:11):
All right, We're back. So trampoline floors? Hey, I like that,
I go. I like bouncing, but it is dangerous. Also
a Scrubs Wicki pointed out that why is jd drinking
beer in the fantasy when he doesn't like beer? Right,
it's Jad's fantasy. Well, they clearly wanted to do the
(33:33):
gag with the beer on the trampoline. But and that's
probably very tricky to do with apple teeny. But if
it's Jad's fantasy, he's not drinking beer. No, Todd can't
see the nipple. That shit made me laugh, man, That
was my last biggest the biggest laughing the whole show
once again, Rob mass show comes through. God, Rob, we
(33:53):
are sorry for ever doubting you on set and making
fun of you from running line. But every time he
says something, it's funny. That is the funniest. I can't
see the nipple. I can't see the nipple. Why is
Rob in the lactation because I don't know why the
Todd is there? Man? What is he doing in that?
And how did he hide behind these two ladies before
(34:15):
you know what I mean, he's hiding behind them and
they can't see him, and Turk and Carla can't see
him either, and he pops up out of nowhere. That
is the biggest laugh of the episode is Todd jumping
out in the lactation meaning saying, I can't see the nipple.
But why does this kid come over and point out
that you're African American? That's what I'm saying. What the
fuck was up with the show, yo, Like I'm sitting
(34:38):
here like wait, I don't know, I don't get it.
Where did that come from? That was just like random,
well it was a very weird. It makes me believe. Well,
they needed to set up the idea that Carla would
leave the baby with a child. That's how that's how
out of it she is with her postpartment depression. So
they had to introduce a child neighbor. But what his
(34:58):
line is is, since you're African, I wrote it down.
Since you're African American. I was wondering if I could
borrow some of your Marvin Gay CDs. And and you're not.
You're not taking it back. You're offended in any way
you reach right because I can't come on in, kid, Yeah,
come on in, kid. And by the way, here here
they are. I happen to have my Marvin Gay CDs
(35:20):
at the ready on account of being African American. I
always keep them close by. The fucked up shit is
that everybody should have Marvin Gay CDs back then, you
know what I'm saying, That's just what it is. Let's
just keep it one hundred. That's good music. Good music
is good music is good music. I know, but you
ripped them out like they were in your Marvin Gay CD. Holster.
You don't got him a fucking Marvin Gay catalog, My fucker.
(35:42):
I don't think I ever bought him Marvin Gay CD?
What but I have? You don't have? Let's get at home?
Oh no, I don't. You don't have. What's going on?
Do you? When you're getting busy with your lady? Do
you like go hold on? I don't even married a
long time. You go hold on? Sometimes? You go hold on? Girl?
Let me put on the right song. I'm gonna tell you.
You do that in the movies, but I don't think
(36:03):
I'm gonna tell you something right now. Yeah, keep it
one thousand like you did last week, because that was
very funny. If you had people on my Twitter write
me about how fucking hilarious it was about you slurping
all over your wife's face and my suggestion and I
suggested to put bread in your bedside. Sorry, go ahead,
(36:30):
I forgot what we were talking about. We're talking about
whether you put on music when you're gonna get busy
with you there. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, So look, if
you put the music on, sorry, you gotta put on you,
Let's get it all. I'm Marvin Gaye. Marvin gay got
some real good music to fuck too. I'm just keeping
(36:52):
one hundred one. What other ones besides Let's get it on?
That's the one I know. You could fucking pretty much
fun to anything. Really, it's got to beat to Land's
phase on here to say you can have sex to
any Marvin gay song? Well, yeah, man, think about it. Yeah,
what's going on? Oh no, no, what's going on? But
(37:16):
it's not like a civil rights anthem? Yes, absolutely, but
when you but but when you're hitting that, But when
you're hitting that, that beat is kicking. What's going on?
You know what? Sex without going on without fail? And
I have to time it out right. It's not a
long song. But when I'm I'm getting ready to finish,
(37:37):
I play this song. What you're trying to get into,
what you're trying to do? That helps me finished? What
about when do we but we reference our friend Chugsky died. Yeah,
I miss purse amount for our homies and we poe
(37:59):
with what's going on? What the hell is going on
in this episode? Who wrote this episode? Gabby Allen? Gabby
Allen wrote this episode. But we know the heck. As
we all know, there are many people in the writer's
room that contribute. That might not have been Gabby's joke.
She's just the one with a name on on hikay um.
But we did pour them out for our homies. Yeah,
(38:21):
we pour it out and then I do the with
a Turk's dance once I you know what I mean.
That was very funny by the way, I laughed at
you're with the Turks dance. That's one of my with
the Turks. I like that my kids with a phase on.
Everybody thinks Barbie is a sellout. I think I think
he's I think he's jealous. That's real talk. I know
(38:42):
he's in it to win it as a doctor. Well,
he has his moral compass is telling him and that
he's not going to be a private practist doctor. That's
not the kind of person he is. That's not who
he wants to be. He's not going to do that life.
But there don't want that money. There he is sneaking
in with a with a with a repelling with like
a batman what do you call that thing? Repelling clok
(39:02):
grappling grappling hook because the janitor has sealed over the
entrance to the luxury suite, I assume at night with
a wall. Yes, so Cox figures out the only way
back into the luxury suite is via grappling hook. Yes.
I laughed at her. I laughed at that. First. I
(39:23):
was like, that shit's never gonna hold onto the wall.
And then it obviously does, and he climbs up. But
Batman has a grappling hook that shoots out of a gun, right, yeah,
but he still has then he still has to call,
then he still has to come. No, he has a
zip line too, he has he has a zip line too?
Does he have at if? I think if I were
a super Ted Court has something some Ted Court has
(39:46):
something similar to that. He's kind of man, Yeah, he's
kind of like. Okay, if you're listening Greg Borlaney or
Warner Brothers. When I played Ted Court, I want a
grappling hook that shoots right the gun that shoots a
grappling hook, and then I hit a button and it's
starts pulling me up up the line. How dope is that?
So does Batman have that? Of course I want that.
(40:11):
Of course Batman has that. Batman, Oh, that's weird fantasy
about that about maybe it'll happen. We never know. Look, man, life,
life is so crazy. We're white boarded. I'm gonna put
it on the white board. I wanted to happen, but
I don't know if I don't know what to there's
this new merger, there's all of this stuff that's going on. Man.
I mentioned it to Greg, and I think he thought
(40:33):
I meant the film version, because he said I don't.
He said something like, um, I don't want to see
what he said. But but I don't think he thought
I meant this led leagues of legend versions tomorrow. Yeah,
it's just would be an arrow verse, that's what it
would be, you know what I mean. But then we're
gonna spin off and do an HBO Max show. That's me.
(40:56):
Put it on the white board. Put it on the whiteboard.
What's the show um um with um with Anthony Mackie
and Sebastian stand. Oh yeah, we're gonna we're gonna do that.
But our show, that would be dope. That would be
so fire, Oh my gosh. Yeah, we'd have to stay
in good shape to be in those tights. I can't
(41:17):
have your food out. Okay, listen, I think it should
be better, better, better better. Um. So, then Carla leaves
(41:37):
the baby with the with the with the Jewish little boy.
We assume he's Jewish because he says masl tough to
her on the baby because he sees that her nipples
are leaking through her shirt. Yes so, um Turk walks
in defined the baby with the Marvin Gay listening Jewish
(41:57):
kid who appreciates Carla's leaky nipples. Yes. Now, Churk runs
to the hospital with the babies and I say, hi,
whatever I call you, brown Baron, I go Hi, Mocha cub. Yes, well,
that's this is forever on my Instagram feed. Whenever I
(42:21):
post pictures of my kids, look Atsmocha cubs. Moca cubs,
Look at the Mocha cub, very beautiful children. Every time
I post them, they say, oh my goodness, his children
are so beautiful. Thank you to any And then they
say they look so much like Donald. So they're really
indirectly giving you a compliment, not only on your seed
but on your face because they're like, oh my god,
(42:42):
they're so beautiful. They look so much like Donald. Their
beauty comes from their mother. Man, it doesn't come from me.
I promise you that I agree anyway, Zaly love you.
Let's talk about Keith and a singlet again. Back to
the Homoway ronicism. Keith shows up in a singlet with
a very large package. By the way, I don't know
if Keith augmented, but he was representing. I think that
(43:06):
was I think that's the point I say, nice single,
it does it come in hetero? I bet you. So
many wrestlers were like, what I think wrestling the sport
is pretty homo erotic. I mean, I'm not I mean
(43:29):
it's fighting, It's it's combat. Yeah, so everything is homo
erotic when it comes to fighting. That's just what it is. Man.
When you're in high school, you are in this heightened
state of blaring testosterone in pub and I remember wrestling
with my friends. I'm not saying the sexual, but you're
(43:49):
like you're like letting it out, and you're like you're
like a young You're like an animal. It needs to
Like I look at my you know, it's like it's
like animals, like dogs, we need to wrestle and get
it out. And um so I just see that. I
don't know, I just think that I don't mind all
of that shit. I don't mind wrestling and stuff like
that and rolling around and stuff. It's when the sweat
(44:10):
drips on you that I got an interview with. That's
when I'm like, God, man, why you gotta sweat so much?
Like that's the one thing that I fucking fear about
MMA and grappling. That's just the worst. Man. You'll be
wrestling and you'll be sweating, and shit, I don't care.
I don't give a fuck if you're nuts on my
head while you're sucking trying to choke me out on
all of that shit. That's fine. I get it. We
(44:32):
are in combat. It is, you know, that's what it is.
But mofucker, why the sweat? You know what I mean?
And I'm a sweating guy too. That shit drifts in
your eyes, in your mouth, on your face. That shit
is not fun. It's like when you're playing basketball and
Pat Ewan's next year and you're like, God, throw this
motherfucker a towel or something. Are you not allowed to
(44:54):
have a towel on you when you when you play basketball? No, man,
you're not allowed to have a to No man, No
know what I'm saying. You could tuck a towel in
your shorts. That's no no no no no no no
no no no no no. Like the hype man always
has a code basketball player, right, the hype man always
has that hyde man always has a towel. That's the
(45:17):
title of my autobiography. I don't know why a basketball
player isn't allowed to tuck a little wash cloth or
not a wash cloth, but a little tallet in his pants.
When I got the jersey. You can wipe it off
with the jersey, or you can wear a headband, right, yeah,
but that don't really stop it either. Listen, So when
you were wrestling, though, that's what happens. Man. The wrestling
(45:40):
part is to find that. I don't know, I don't
think anybody cares about that. It's the sweat, Okay, Um,
very funny. Christ's entrance a La Jurassic Park, isn't child
They even did the cup of water that they even
(46:00):
did the couple of water thing where the like in
Jurassic Park when you see like the water. Yeah, and
then I'm scared and she looked scary. Um, I'll be
honest with you, she looked beautiful. Well I'm gonna keep her.
You can't help but look beautiful. But she did look
they did make her out to seem like a scary character. Yeah,
(46:24):
but it didn't work. I'm sorry, Chris, Chris, it's too beautiful,
you know what I'm saying. So, Chris, the whole thing,
that whole thing that's this is what I don't get.
The whole thing about being big and pregnant and everything
like that, and being full and that not and that
being scary is some bullshit, man. That's some straight up bullshit.
And beauty and everything, man, And the fact that the
(46:47):
fact that these motherfuckers act like they scared of that shit,
it's some bullshit as well. Man. That's just me personally.
I get it. In the show, they're trying to make
jokes about she's supposed to she ain't a ram dude. Um,
she's scared. I know that's that's yeah. I get that.
I get all of that Ram. I get all of
that stuff. Can I just love that Bill is clearly
(47:09):
still in his animal face because they're bringing rams to
set um so um. I thought the scene with Krista
and you and Judy was really beautiful. That that song
was so beautiful. I wrote it down. It's the Crane
Wife three by the DECEMBRS and it's such a pretty
song as Jordan is consoling Carla and telling her not
(47:32):
to be afraid to seek help for postpartum depression and
how common it is and not to feel like a failure,
and telling Turk to shut the fuck up every time
he tries to weigh in. And I just thought that
was really great, As I said it being an episode,
I like it when Scrubs has messages that really can
help people and resonate with people. And there's so many
women who suffered from postpartment depression, and I felt like
(47:54):
we were, in a sense doing a public service by
by normalizing it and explaining that you can get helpful it.
I was gonna have Casey come on a show. I
don't know if she experienced postpart and depression, but you know,
I you know, I'm I think you'd know it. I
think you would know well, you know there's something like
like we were talking about spectrums. Yeah, lets to it,
(48:17):
of course, um and uh, but I was gonna I
asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She
was like, yeah, now that's okay. Um, why would you
The episode ends um and and Carl has chosen to
um go on some manual presence which are clearly helping,
and she says, if you talk openly about this, I'm
(48:38):
gonna show everyone that time you tried to grow your
hair out. Now, what I don't understand is why is
that a framed picture that's that's that's on in the
living room? Why why that? And why would he take
a picture of it? Why would he be like at
some point Turk would be like, Yo, you know what,
this shit ain't working way before. Why is it in
(49:02):
the living room? I don't know, dude, I don't know.
It's just I don't I don't know. This is a
wacky season. Things are things are crazy. It's very funny.
There are very funny jokes in all of these shows. Uh,
but some of these things aren't tracking anymore. It's like
we're starting to you know, like like you said, the
(49:23):
whole beer instead of the apple teeny. I get the
joke is funny, but you know, all right six huh
And it ends with me really missing Elizabeth. Now we
all know what's coming with Elizabeth. I won't give any
spoilers if you're happy to be someone that doesn't know.
But um, it ends it ends on a melancholic note
(49:44):
of Jad really missing her and um well it also
ends with something that, uh, we don't talk about and enough, Actually,
Elliott's love for Jade is still very very strong, regardless
(50:04):
of you know, regardless of you know, what's going on
between the two of you know, she has a boyfriend now,
he has a baby mama on the way. But Elliott
truly still Elliott truly still loves j d. She did
the whole the webcamp thing so he can talk to
(50:27):
his girlfriend and everything like that. These are things that
someone who is a true friend. But do you think
that she realizes that it's more than just oh, I
love you so much, You're such a good friend. We've
been through a lot together. Or do you think she realizes, like,
I still, I'm gonna keep this to myself, but I
still have feelings for him. I don't know. I think
(50:48):
she's keeping it to herself. I think I think she
knows inside she still has feelings for him, and she's
doing this because, you know, I don't know how to
put it. She involves him in everything, man, she involves
him in her sex life, she involves him, they live together,
like all of these things, you know, she's given him
a place to stay. All of these things are things
(51:08):
that people when somebody loves you, that's what they do
for you, you know what I mean. But we know
they're gonna end up together, and that's what I'm saying.
So those feelings of love next level of like I'm
in love with you love are I think she has.
They're lying, they might be lying, dormant, and she's not
really like present to them, but they're there, right because
(51:31):
look at all the wonderful things she does for this guy. Yeah,
but also he's been such an asshole to her. I mean,
he's still an asshole to her. She got a fucking
fancy new job and he's fucking shitting on her for well,
he's he's trying to hold the same moral compass as
as doctor Cox. Um, because Cox is his hero. He's
he's not doing He's following the footsteps of Cox and saying, no,
(51:53):
I don't. I'm not gonna sell out right now and
go to private practice. I'm gonna I'm gonna work for
this hospital. I wish I could carry this slad sound
around in me all day. Um, that's our show, every buddy.
(52:15):
We don't have a color today because I'm sorry, I
have to race off to to work on my film. Um,
please forgive me. I know everybody loves The Caller, but
I am in the final stages of finishing a Good
Person starring the legendary Morgan Freeman and the legendary Florence
Pugh and the legendary Molly Shannon. Um and UM, I
have to go um to coloring where I'm gonna make
(52:38):
it look even prettier and maybe see honest Kaminski again.
But UM tell you, I will. But he doesn't care
about you because you didn't write the most funny letter
he's ever Um, but um the letter? Did you mention
me in the letter? I don't remember the letter I
wrote it twenty years ago, but this dude wrote if
(52:59):
he remember, if I ask him, be like listen, I
don't want to bring up my best friend. But did
I mention him in the letter? He wanted to know?
I will. I will ask him if I see him. Um,
And then that's when you bring up you know, and
he's a really good actor. So I don't know what
you know you got going on nowadays. I don't think,
but I don't think Yannish decides who Spielberg casts. I
(53:19):
think he just photographs it beautifully. But if he would
be like Spielberg checked this young brother out Spielberg, you
think coming from you think so in your mind. There's
a scenario where Yannish called Spielberg and is like, I
read a letter twenty years ago and there's some African
American who's mentioned in it. I think we should consider
(53:41):
for some of your films. That's well, that's what's in
your mind. Yes, okay, this Hollywood man, anything can happen.
And on that No, six seven eight, sure we made
up here. I said, here's the stories net all should know.
(54:05):
So gather around you here are gather around
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Donald Faison
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Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.