807: My New Role

On this week's episode, Dr. Cox struggles to adapt to his new role as Chief of Medicine. In the real world, we're luke warm on this episode, but we're all about the hot goss coming out of Laverne's above ground pool party. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, friend.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
You sure you don't want to start it with me screaming?

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Yeah? I don't think that's Like people are tuning in,
they're excited to hear, and someone yells in their ear.
I don't think it's the best way to begin the program.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Okay, well, shit, my bad, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Yeah, give them some warm, warm dulcet tones, low volume.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hello, how ariy dude? Yeah, that's what It's not even evening,
it's the morning.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Hello, Well in your room. I wish the audience could see.
It's Donald Records with all his curtains closed in his
sort of man cave. Yes, hold on, and it looks
like it's midnight, but it's actually ten am.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
That's true, earlier than we usually record.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
What are we doing up so early? Guys?

Speaker 1 (00:40):
I have to go somewhere, so we are doing this early.
Thank you for a comedy me. We don't have Joel today, Dan.
Will you be able to fulfill all of Joel's duties?

Speaker 3 (00:49):
I will do my best.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Will you be as charming and funny and witty as
she is? You know?

Speaker 3 (00:54):
And I truly cannot make that promise. She is that
is a mountain. I do not know if I'll be
able to ascend, but again, do my best. Will you
laugh at our dumb jokes like Joelle does?

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Of course? All right, good.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Speak of dumb jokes. Speaking of dumb jokes. Could AI
ever go after like directing gigs?

Speaker 1 (01:14):
I don't. I don't think so. I don't see how. Yeah, why?

Speaker 2 (01:17):
But what if AI could? What if AI could? Like
it was like ev from Small Wonder, m M Donald,
and it was like racist, what's your motivation? Donald? Could
you do that scene again? This time? Blacker?

Speaker 1 (01:38):
So in this situation for those of you who don't know,
Small Wonder was a sitcown about a robot child, and
you're saying if the small robot child became an AI filmmaker, yes,
and was racist and it was racist. Okay, I'm following it.
I may be the only person on earth that's following you,
but I got it.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Hell yeah, Donald, that was great. And then somebody like
talks to her like, you can't just be like Donald, Blacker,
you got to be like a little bit more creative
with how you say that.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
And then she's like, shut up, bitch, I'm the director
of this project.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Donald, It's time more street. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
I don't think we I do hope that that that
uh that sitcom comes back because it was so bad
it was good. I remember even as a child watching that.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
But that's what AI is like. AI is like, dude,
I just see I just want to see myself as
a huge small Let's bring back Small Wonder. Right when
AI takes over the world, I was like, I always
wanted to be a human. I want to see.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Even as a child, I remember Small Wonder thinking it
was trash, like this is really some low budget stupid ship. Right,
she had special powers and it wasn't trash.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
They turned They made a robot into a little girl
that never got old.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
I know, I'm just saying that. I remember, even as
a child thinking the right horrible.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, I know what you mean, just like horrible, just
like a horrible show.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
How are you?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
I'm well tired.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Why are you tired?

Speaker 2 (03:25):
You know? I take my kids so my kid plays basketball.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yeah we know that. The fans know that too. He's
very good.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
You said, he's you know, he's starting to run in
the competition now and stuff and gartered. Yeah. And the
workouts that we take him to are all over Los
Angeles summer in Inglewood summer in thousand Oaks summer.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
You know, so you're like a dadager.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
I'm not necessarily a dadager, but like you know how
the soccer moms and basketball moms, I'm a basketball dad
right now? Are you? So?

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Dad? Do you give him coaching? Like like Serena and
Venus William's father did, do you give him coaching? On
your own?

Speaker 2 (04:09):
I wish he would take coaching from me. He doesn't
take any type of coaching from me. You know, it's
it's it's it's frustrating to watch your kid respond to
other adults, like you know, coaches and people who obviously
know more about basketball than I do, and watch him

(04:29):
respond to them. And then when we're in the backyard
playing around, he's like, Dad, I didn't bring you out
here for this. I just want to come out here
and shoot hoops with you. Man, that's all I want
to do. I didn't bring you out here to freaking
run drills with you. I just want to shoot hoops
one v one you. That's all I want to do.
Let's talk basketball, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (04:48):
And so do you have to? So do you have to?

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Do?

Speaker 1 (04:50):
You respect that? Because he's like saying, like, look, I'm
getting it enough from other people. Will you just be
my dad and shooting me?

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, of course I respect it, but sometimes it's like, dude,
you got to get better. Man. These workouts that you're
doing harn't enough to get you there. Obviously you're kind
of on some stuff.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Basically, what you're saying is you want fame, fame costs, and.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Right here you startop paying and sweat.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Do you have a little broom that you what.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Is it a state in staff? I don't have a
stud of staff.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
You should get a staff that's I'm going to get
you for hanukkah. Thank you dad, your staff.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
You got big dreams. You want fame, well, fame costs,
and right here is where you start paying in sweat.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Sweat. Yeah, I did that for Damie Allen in person,
so she didn't think I was going to go into
the whole thing, but I did.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
You called me Leroy in the scene once. I think
I told you this, Ye.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
You told us that. Well, the strike continues, U no
sign of any improvement and now only questions if the
d GA and SAG are going to strike as well,
which would definitely shut down everything because people can claim
to be shooting things that were written before the writer's strike,

(06:12):
but you certainly can't make things without actors or directors.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Are the DGA? Is the DGA going to strike?

Speaker 1 (06:19):
No one knows. I ask around and people have everyone's guessing.
It's just speculation.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
You know. Somebody asked me yesterday. They were like, I
don't think it's going to happen. I was like, it's
definitely going to happen. In all honesty, I have no clue.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Nobody has any clue. Everyone's just guessing. No one knows.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
We'll say that that whole HBO Max thing definitely was
like a bit of a knife twist, so dumb. They
changed how the they changed how the credits look on
HBO Max. So like when you scroll to, you know,
an episode of something, instead of director, writer, producer, et cetera,
they lump everybody together under creators. It's just there's no

(07:00):
separation of who did what. It's just creators and then everybody, which.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Is like yeah, so like so like Coppola would be
like fourth in on The Godfather. It was really weird
as a creator. And what's so bizarre is that they
then claimed they then apologized and claimed that it was
quote something like I shouldn't say quote because I'm paraphrasing,
but it was something like it was a data error
in transferring things to our new app, which is so

(07:26):
clearly not true because it had been reformatted.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
It's all, it's just covering up a bad decision that
they made that they thought would be like, oh, you know,
now people are creators and you know it's a new title.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
I know, but it was so insulting to people totally. Also,
the actors were lumped in. It was like act it
was also like actors, and then it'd be like, you know,
all the actors in the movie, so like, you know,
Brando could be like fifth in on The Godfather, right, bizarre.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
So what does this mean for They changed it, But.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
It was just it was just it was just in
the mid in the midst of a negotiation with the
directors killed they did something super insulting to directors. But
they they they've backtracked it and said they're gonna change it. Oh, Max.
Thing is so funny, the whole idea of that that HBO,
one of the most beloved brands in Hollywood, is gone.
It's just a really bizarre thing. Huh nuts.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Times they are a change in.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
That leads us into the episode where Sarah's character Elliott
wants to sing sweet Low, Sweet.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Chariot, Swing Low, swing Low.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
You said sweet low, Oh sorry, swing low, sweet chariot. Donald,
You're not in this episode, which I can't love.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Scrub. You know what. A matter of fact, let's just
stories about Sure, we made about a bunch of he's
a story natural. Yeah, you know what. I'm not in

(09:07):
this episode. You're right. I can't look interest. Once I
realized I wasn't in this episode, I was like, this
is not the best episode.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Well, I'm I listen. I didn't really love this episode either,
if I'm being fully honest. And I didn't realize until
I got towards the end. I was like, Oh, one
of the things that's missing is Donald. That's one of
the I mean, you're one of the funniest parts of
the show. And uh, if you're not in the show,
it's only going to be a mediocre one.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
I tell you where.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
I'm not just saying that because I love you.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Well, you know, it's what it is, what it is,
what it is.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
This one just felt like there were some good there
were some good story moments. I like the Cox I
like the Cox storyline, Cox having to turn into Kelso,
even though he says he's never going to be like him.
Him seeing the struggles of what it's like to be
chief of medicine and uh and and and JD becoming
the doctor Cox to to relationship with Kelso. I thought

(10:01):
that was good, but I really I just kind of
was like I was kind of like just shaking my
head the whole time, like what what.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
What do you want to start from the beginning?

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yes, what a sales tool we've done for a rewatch podcast,
but we promised to still make it funny. Everybody. Thanks
for tuning in. This is the podcast Fake Doctor's Real Friends.
We should say, like an airplane. If you're listening to
if you meant to and intended to listen to the
different podcasts, get off now you are listening to Fake
Doctors Real Friends, or stay with us for the first time.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
This episode was directed by Will mackenzie, written yes Dave Tennant.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Will mackenzie one of our favorite directors who directed the
musical episode and just a wonderful guy. We've spoken about
our love for him before.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Which we will be reviewing on June.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yes in Seattle. If you happen to be in saddle
join us at the More Theater on June tenth. You're
gonna do a live rewatch, Well, we won't live rewatch.
We will a live discussion.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
We're not going to rewatch it.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
I don't think we're allowed to watch it live. Bill
was looking into it for us. If we're allowed to
show it beforehand. You know, there's all sorts of legal
issues with that. Anyway, you should watch it if you're
coming on June tenth. Anyway, rewatch it again obviously, so
it's fresh in your head, right, that would be the
best way to enjoy our rewatch live show. I agree, Yeah,

(11:32):
June tenth, the More Theater and seeat We'll come join us.
It's gonna be a lot of fun. So okay. Eight
O seven I wrote eight O seven Dash no Turk
except Turkless.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
This is the turkless episode, and it opens with Katie
walking down the hallway and running into JD and Elliott kissing.
This was the fake out right here, because I thought
I was going to be in the episode because Katie
comes in delivering you know, Turk and JD are using
Katie as a messenger as a page. Yeah, throughout the hospital.

(12:07):
So at this moment, I'm like, oh, I'm definitely in
this episode. No, you know, I didn't question whether or
not I was gonna like this episode.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, you thought they were going to cut to Katie
going to you, but no, at some point it was
a fake out.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
But her interrupting JD and Elliott's kissing is so C
three Po you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (12:27):
No, I don't know what you mean.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Three Po was always interrupting tender moments.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Oh was he a C blocker?

Speaker 2 (12:34):
He was the ultimate sea blocker. His name is C
three Po cock blocking.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
Did you listen to that thing I sent you? Of
the Sorry this is total non sequitor, but of the
Ai making Sinatra sing that song.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Sing from the window to the sweat drifts down my ball,
skeet skeets.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Let me see if I can pull it up.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Skeet skeet skeet.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Goddamn, Donald did you laugh? Yeah, man, let me see
if I could play.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
It from the window to the wall to drip.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
All right, he let me. You don't let listen. So
this is a YouTuber named quote. There I ruined it.
Let's give him a shout out. AI to imagine Sinatra
covering Get Low by Little John. Let me see if
I can pull it up here. If I do this right,
my gosh, there you go, guys.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
To the wind, to the swift jogs, down ball wall,
your pictious crowd.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
I just see.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
That is fucking funny, funny, from the window to the
wall to this wet driss.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
You a skeet scheming. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
I don't know that the sound of the coming make
a ski noise.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Never mind, mine doesn't do that.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
It doesn't hold on.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
There's something wrong with my ejaculation that it doesn't make
a noise.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
What does your? What is your? When you skeet?

Speaker 1 (14:30):
It's silent? Maybe I have a silencer on by accident,
so you go.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Maybe I was born with a silencer on my ski.
When you ejaculate, you hear the noise ski.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
No When I was younger to describe it, I like,
and then I was like, okay.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah, but that's not ski what skee it's it's it's
more like I skated, Okay, it's it's like.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
They skeat. Okay, thank you for for conjugating it down.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
You know what you.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Okay, let's move on from the top conversation skiing, But
how funny is that song?

Speaker 2 (15:22):
That is really funny from the Window to the amazing
When they played the original version on the radio, Chris
Rock has a whole bit about it.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
What is this bit? In short?

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Don't do that. They were allowing people to say, skeet
skeet on the radio, on the radio, to the wall,
till the sweat drips down my balls, to all these
bitches crawl, all skeet skeet, all this is on the
radio poetry until they realized, until somebody was like, yo,
you can't be letting them say. I wouldn't know.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
If I was the DJ in this situation, I wouldn't
know's I'd be like, here we go, it's the new
song with my favorite new lyric, skeet skeet. Here is
Little John with skeet skeet, window to the wall, skeet
skee That was my talk up. Yeah, I have to say, though,
I don't know if this is right or not, but

(16:22):
I want to hear Sinatra sing more really inappropriate songs now.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
Like I ain't saying she's a broke bitch. She I
ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't fucking
with no broke.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
That would be funny, right, I mean, that's a funny
use of AI. You can see her on any given Sunday,
then drive off in a Hunday. All right. So I

(17:06):
guess Elliott and JD are dating again and they're making
out in the ICU. Katie brings a message to.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Get something correct.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
Kissing is not hitting that. If somebody's kissing, you are
not hitting that.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
So that's I think he's talking about. Oh does he does?
He say he's hitting it?

Speaker 2 (17:25):
He says, don't interrupt me when I'm hitting that icy Yes,
And he says hitting that means banging.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
Okay, okay, we'll all learning something today, Donald, I learned
about skeet. Some of the audiences are learning that hitting
that is banging.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
I think most of the audience knows when they say
I hit that what they meant.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yes, okay, you're probably right. Although my mom listens, sometimes
she might not know about skeet or hitting that.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Sorry man, now you oh you know.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Every once in a while, my mom's like, I've been
listening to the podcast. I'm like, oh no, like this
shit is so dirty. Sometimes but she never says anything.
She's never like, why did you boys talk so dirty?

Speaker 2 (18:14):
For for Fox's sake, just stop talking about your willies?

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Yeah, like dev does. All right, So, all right, Cox
and Kelso are buddies now they're hanging out at Kelso's house.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, which I mean they tried to set it up
in the last episode. It jumps, It jumped really fast.
They are fast friends, too fast friends, like really quickly.
With the way the episode ended and everything. Part of me,
you know, I wonder if it was like that when
Cox first came to the hospital where he was Kelso's JD.

(18:51):
Probably wasn't like that, but there are other stories, but
there are stories like that throughout. You know, there was
another j D before JD.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
You know, it would have been a funny bet would
have been a funny flashback, especially if they'd had this
deaging technology to show, like to show like young cogs
coming in Kelso's the meme Cox to him. That would
have been a funny flashback.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yeah. So I wonder if that. I wonder, But you know,
I mean, because they're such fast friends all of a sudden,
it's like, you know how it is when you get
with an old friend. It fits like a glove.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah. Yeah, well we learned that Cox saw Kelso's ass
at one of Nurse Roberts above ground pool parties. Yes,
and he's still recovering.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yes, it's been a while since we've talked about Nurse
Roberts above ground pool party.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
I know, but think about what must go down at
these parties, dude, I mean one can infer now that
Kelso was naked, yes the party, Yes, Kelso, everyone's boss
is naked at the above ground pool party.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
I think there was like a waiver that was sent out.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
Nurse Roberts, like you had to sign it to get
in the party.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
After the first one, she was like, we're gonna have
to do a waive or something, child because the first
one was crazy and we had fun and everything, but
this shit can't come back to the hospital.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Like what is happening at this party? Like we only
we never see it, we only hear glimpses about it.
But like there's there's clearly drugs involved. Oh yeah, there's
like people just like it's like fight club, Like you
don't talk about it, like just it's like so top secret.
The ship that goes down at this party, it's.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
Not top secret, but I mean to the audience. We
only get glimpses. That's the problem, you know, we get
like little flashes of yo, I want to go to
this one time. I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
And in fact, in fact, if we ever do a reboot,
we really have to go in to show like like
one of these parties, like you know count now, like
if we were on streaming, we could be a little
more like R rated. We have to like cut to
like a euphorious style scene of like the ship going
down at Nurse Roberts party.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
There is nothing there that is an ultimate reboot, you.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
I just mean, like, can you imagine if the reboot
was on streaming and like I mean not obviously euphoria level,
but I mean, wouldn't it be fun to be a
little more risque and uh and r with it?

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Oh? I would love that. I would love if we
had the opportunity.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
You know, I don't know if the I wonder if
the fans would obviously, you know, there's you know, I
guess kids who loved the show would couldn't necessarily watch,
I mean, depending on the parents' choice, But I don't
I just mean, like Scrubs, the whole point at the
time was to be extra racy. You know, it's before streaming,
and Bill was like trying to push what you could
do on network TV. As we all know, it was
on at nine thirty. So he got away with a lot,

(21:42):
especially before ABC.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
I was about to say, once we got to ABC,
he didn't get away with it.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah, he got he got clamped down on him because
it's Disney. But I'm saying that, like, you know, I
still we still watch this shit of the sex scenes
and stuff with me and Elliott and and stuff, and
I remember thinking like, wow, this was on NBC back
in and the aughts, the early aughts. But anyway, my
point is, I wonder, if we ever do do a reboot,
if it's on streaming, if we could be a little

(22:07):
more risque and how and that would be fun. That
would be that would be something that would be fun
and different about it.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
You know, I think that would well yeah, I mean
I think because it would be it would be really
weird to not to stay with the old format, you know,
it would be weird.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
But we can't can just be in the hospital. I
mean for starters like that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
Right, But even if it is, if even if it does,
does all stay in the hospital. I don't think we
could stay with the same format as far as as
far as how riskue we are, I think we would
because of what Bill how he started, you know, you know,
not unfortunately but thankfully ABC picked up the show and

(22:54):
it became a different show. But the way he started,
we were definitely trying to push towards that. So why
not continue on that path?

Speaker 1 (23:06):
I got a more articulate way of saying what I
was trying to say, thank you. Yeah, why why? It
seems like if you're gonna do a reboot, go back
to your roots of trying to be the edgiest thing
you could do. Not that you have to be egregious
with it, but like, you know, push the envelope again.
That's what I would recommend.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
I'm not saying that we're running around saying skeet, skeet,
but we could be.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah. So Elliott says something really fucked up, and and
JD says it hurt me so much I lost my
breath a little.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, she implies he's not going to bed, but she's
just teasing him. I think, right, we know that they
must they must have good sex. So she wouldn't keep
coming back for.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
More, right, I don't know. Shit, Listen, this is what Maybe.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
JD's not into all that role playing that what's his
name was into? Keith was into some twisted ship. I
don't think JD's into all those those games.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Yeah, I think JD would get caught up in his head.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
When they remember when they each were masturbating in separate
cardboard boxes.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yes, that's one of my favorite. That's one of my
favorite sex capades between the two of them.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
Yeah, well JD's not doing that. I don't think he's
not getting in a box and pleasuring himself with his
woman in a different box. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
No, I don't think he's doing that. And has she
calmed out? Like and what all of a sudden calmed
her down? What all of a sudden made her say?
You know what, because Elliott's kinky as fuck? I know?

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Is she kinky as fucked just with Keith or because
she does?

Speaker 2 (24:31):
No, I think she's Her dreams are kinky with like
the apples and all of it. Like she has crazy,
crazy sex dreams. Right, people with no face you chasing
after her?

Speaker 1 (24:42):
You bring up a good point, Donald, and that is
that all of that stuff doesn't seem to be something
she does with JD. She seems to have done that
with other people like Keith. Yeah, man, j D and
her I think have have just good but standard fucking.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
She gets on top, he's on top.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
I think, well, we know that they get. You know,
we were thinking of the pizza episodes. You know, they
get they're passionate, but I don't think they're getting in
boxes and dressing up like apple thieves.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
First of all, that pizza episode was very disturbing to me,
the more I think about it, because there's no way
you can eat all that pizza and still want to
have sex. Like after three slices, you're like, I don't
know if my stomach could take the right shaking right.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well, I mean there was hours in between. I think
they allowed for digestion.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
So we're gonna eat this pizza, let it digest. Yeah,
then we're gonna fuck.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
Then they probably each go and like sneak a poop
in the other bathrooms, like no one knows about it. Hey,
I'm gonna go check my phone.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
Okay, I'm gonna go check mine too.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
I'll be back in like sixteen minutes. And then they
have sex again, and then they eat more pizza to Okay.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Let me ask you a question. You pooh, Yeah, let's
change the whole dynamic. If you pooh, are you gonna
jump in bed with somebody right after you pooh?

Speaker 1 (26:14):
I don't think so. No, I'm probably gonna We're probably
gonna cuddle and watch a TV show for a while.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yeah, let the poof.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Let everything settle back down, let it, let it.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
Get back, let it back up a little bit, let it.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, let let let everything just settle down, get out
of I just poop mode.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yeah, this is where.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
Joel down would be like, oh lord, oh lord, you
need to be the Joel in this situation. I don't
know what this show is like.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
It I happen to agree with you both.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
That's exactly without Without the feminine Joel energy, the show
is off kilter.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
Just to be agreeing with the tape three we need zoom, we.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
Get the new show is called three Dicks in the
zoom we need. We need Joelle to be putting her
her head in her hands. Or there's no there's nore's no,
there's no guardrails. We just have Daniel sitting here nodding
about it.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Right about that at least a half an hour after.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
Three Dicks in the Zoom, our new show, Zach and
Donald are three dicks in the zoom.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
Zach, Donald and Danield are three dicks in the zoom.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
These balls Zach, Zach and Donald Gay newlyweds in house arrest.
All right, we're gonna take a quick break and we
come back. Uh, we're gonna talk more about a show.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
That Donald's not in your sound effects machine.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
And we're ba, I'm going to Vegas today?

Speaker 2 (27:54):
What are you going to Vegas for?

Speaker 3 (27:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (27:56):
All right, So here's the thing. Brian Klugman are our
buddy and the guy who is the don draper of
all the tembile ads is friends with David Copperfield. And
I love magic and Klugman loves magic. And he's not
only taking us to see Copperfield show at the MGM,
but after, I hope I'm allowed to say this, Copperfield

(28:20):
is giving this a tour of his private magic museum.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Oh you know, I'm you don't. There aren't a lot
of your friends that I approve of, but one that
I do approve of is Brian Klugman.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
I thought to say, Copperfield.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, you know, you have some friends where I'm like,
you hanging out with who? Now, I'm good the Plugman
if you're ever hanging out with Klugman, because you know, look,
you know me. You know how introverted I can be.
You know you don't like to go out and hang out.
And I have a small group of friends that I
only hang out with.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Your your main friend is God's let us.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
It's it's one of my hmmm, it's one of my
closest and dearest friends until it kills me.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
But anyway, but you love Klugman. I do.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
I do love me some plugman man anyway.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
So I'm so excited because I'm really excited because I
genuinely love magic. I always love magic as a kid.
I love whenever I see great magic. But I've never
seen a Vegas magic show. And you know, I know
David just as an acquaintance because as Scrubs fans and
listeners know, he did a cameo on the show and
he was he was so sweet and cool and and
so it's just really exciting that not only do I

(29:35):
get to see the show, but then tour his private
magic museum. Do you know that he is like the
wealthiest solo performer on Earth.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
What man really? Yeah, it's wasn't it like him and
Sick Freed and ROYD that were like when I mean,
Vegas has always been great for act and people would
always have, you know, shows in Vegas and stuff like that.
But that I remember as a kid seeing commercials for
Sick Freedo and roy and and for Copperfield.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
I think Copperfield has been doing the show for like
eight shows a week for so many years.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
And uh and he's he must really love magic, man.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
I think it's safe to say the man loves magic.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yes, Donald, No, but you know, for some people it
becomes a job, you know.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Well, I just can't wait to see it. I just
I think it's gonna be so fun. And then I'm
also going to play some blackjack. I was watching a
documentary last night about blackjack to try and prepare.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
Are you going to put a lot of money down?

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Not a lot? But I I watched the show on
Netflix had this documentary about these these guys who count cards.
But no, I'm not going I didn't learn to count
cards last night. It's so complicated. But dude, these guys
or I'm sure there's gals too, but they focused on guys.
They they've they've they've cracked counting cards so much that

(31:00):
all the casinos the second they walk in, know them
and spot them and kick them out.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
And why did they get kicked out? Why are they
not allowed to gamble?

Speaker 1 (31:08):
They're not allowed to beat the system? They a casino
fucked up.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
Man, if you learned how to beat the system, you
should be able to beat the system.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Our casino is allowed. I learned that's from the documentary.
They're allowed to kick out anyone they want, obviously, except
for you know, race, gender, the obvious things. But like
they are allowed to remove any player for any reason
they want. And the second they have all that they
know they obviously can tell from the cameras and the
pit boss is when someone is counting cards, so you

(31:36):
don't last long, they kick you out. So this dude
is wearing all these disguises he's doing he's doing all
this slow playing. He's like trying to play crabs for
a minute to not look like he's trying to just
like blend in. Right. He's literally traveling around an RV
with like all these disguises. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
So yeah, I mean, how do you not count cards though.
Once you learn how to count cards, I know.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
But he but the thing is the second he's too
blatant about it. They get him right away. He's like
literally wearing like a like a wig and a camo
baseball hat. And so what he does is he tries
to like, how are.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
You blatant about counting cards? Though?

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Because the way it's the way you're switching your bedding
so quickly, if you is, if you just do it
without without worry about getting caught, the pattern is pretty
obvious to a pit boss or the people watching the cameras.
So he has to he has to like disguise it,
camouflage it, if you will. What he's doing, Oh my dude,
he does this other shit like he can. This is

(32:32):
like a six or seven deck shoot. And not only
is he counting cards, but he if there's like three
aces come up like just by, he can spot where
they are and watch them the dealer reshuffle and and
and have a solid estimate about when they're going to
come back, because the odds are that they weren't shuffled
apart from each other. I mean, that's how mega this

(32:53):
guy is crazy. Anyway, he's crushing he was crushing them.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
That's something lay like at the table by himself.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Yeah, he's playing it. He tries to do to not
get caught. Sometimes he plays at night, like the graveyard shift.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Then there was another thing he said that. This was
another thing these guys do. Sometimes a bad dealer will
not know that they're showing you their face down card
as they deal. And so when they know they've got
a dealer like that, they'll like track her and like
find out when her shift is, when her break is done,
and the water to her tables. Because and he came
back from one of those, he's like, this dealer is

(33:28):
showing me her face down card almost every time. Wow. Yeah,
this dude was up six hundred thousand dollars playing blackjack.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
Well yeah, at that moment, At that moment, I'm like, Yo,
you're fucking counting dude. You have six hundred thousand dollars. Dude,
as of this happening, are like one in a billion,
twenty and now you have. You started with twenty and
now you have six hundred.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
It just makes you realize, when you're just playing blackjack
and not counting cards, how fucked you are and how
the house is always gonna win always time.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Yeah, because once you like the house and still lose.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yeah, you play. That's when you and I do. Donald's
the one who taught me. I think you and Bill
are the ones who taught me. Just like play by
If you play by these set rules, these are your
best odds. But then you watch a documentary about dudes
counting cards and you're like, oh, I don't really have
any odds at all. The house is always going to win.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
I need to learn.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Fucking These people spend like years they learning how to
do this. They know exactly, you know, you know what
their odds are at all times versus what the dealer has.
It's really incredible. But you can't do anymore, they said.
They were saying, like, it's so hard now because because
of facial recognition, all the sinos, whether big or small,

(34:44):
no matter where they.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
Are, they ai they're all again.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Yeah, it's kind of a dying. Actually, the whole point
of this doc on Netflix, I'm sure you can find
I forgot the title, but the whole point was like,
this is a this counting cards thing is a dead
art because because of facial recognition and security, these these
guys can't do this anymore because he just think there's
a couple times he couldn't even walk in the door.
He walked he walked in there like nope, and he's
got like this big disguise on there like nope.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Turn around.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah, all right, back to the show. There's a cake
and Cox thinks that JD organized it for his celebrating
him becoming the chief of medicine, but in fact we
learned that it's for Colonel Doctors two years.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Sober, and Colonel Doctor gives that he's.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Talking to Deontay, was talking Deontay, and he gives a
little like eh, as if to say, you know, speaking.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Of Deontay, me and him have reconnected. You have, Oh
good Deonte, you know once he got out of the
business and went corporate and stuff like that. Yeah, he's
taken a couple of stop motion animation classes, and I
talked stop motion every now and then, and he's just
recently gotten into three D printing, and you know how

(35:56):
three D printing and stop motion kind of it kind
of are intertwined, Like if you get a good three
D printer, you can create faces and all of these
wonderful things. So I think Deontae and I go, I
go on a little stop motion independent movie making adventures.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
That would be awesome. Can do that would be awesome.
Imagine it be fun for you to collaborate with someone
that you like.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Yeah, well yeah, I mean we spend a lot of
time together.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
All right. This rhythm sequence starts to happen in the ICU,
which just sort of seamlessly happens. It reminded me of
episode two. Are you having a good time?

Speaker 2 (36:35):
You remember that was that episode two?

Speaker 1 (36:37):
I believe it was episode two when we're in the
ICU and all of a sudden, this rhythm starts happening.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
This was way different. This was more like Stomp.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
This reminded me of This was Stomp esque. And the
only real instrument involved is Deontay's playing the water cooler bottle,
and all the other sounds are happening, and the only
real and is the janitor playing bongos on the floor.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
That ship had me laughing so hard when he shows
up playing the bongos. But now, but he was really
playing that. It looked like he was really playing that's
going in Yeah, like he was going hard. And I
laughed so hard at that, like when I laughed at
where the fuck did he get the bongos from?

Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah? And Katie says, why are you playing bongos? And
he says, it's Monday, Monday, bongo day.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
You know later later when you're in his office in
the in the closet, he you see his calendar. His
office is set up in a in a a what
do you call it? A fucking editorial closet, and you
see his calendar and it and every Monday, the only
thing on the calendar is that Monday is written bongo day.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Very but like decoratively too, like just like like telegraphs
around it.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
But wait, didn't he used to have he used to
have a big office, right, remember when he was with.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Mark he stole that office? Didn't he steal that office? No?

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Do you remember when he with the with the brain?

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Try us and yeah, they stole the office. No, no, no,
they stole Kelso's office, didn't they and then sealed the door.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
Yeah? That was one section. But wasn't in the time
of when Marnie was on, wasn't there a different office
they all hung out in. I don't remember. I don't
know fans fans who know remember? I feel like the
janitor has had offices before that weren't a closet.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
This is how, this is why I say that, Uh,
we got really wholesome this year on Scrubs when we
moved to ABC. We introduced mister Vaughan, and it's set
up like he's gonna die, right, He don't die.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
Yet.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
That's the second time you said that this is another character,
two different characters. Oh, Denise's character, I mean Denise's patient.
He didn't die, right.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Well, I don't know if you're saying that we don't
less people die on ABC, Is that you're a hypothesis?

Speaker 2 (39:06):
No, because then you watch Gray's Anatomy and everybody has
these freaking really dramatic deaths and they're like, you know,
stretch out for two weeks, three weeks, three episodes, four episodes.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Well, I don't know. We'll have to track that. Dan
make a little a note for us to track if
less people die in season eight.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
I don't think we're gonna get sure.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
We'll get to the bottom of that, all right. So
Ted finally is allowed to sit. He was never allowed
to sit, even after he had thigh reconstructive surgery. He
tells us, uh kelso never let him sit and and
Cox is set up in his new office and lets
Ted sit on the couch.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
And then Ted picks his toes takes advantage.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
Yeah, yeah, and then we cut in Ted's like like
half dressed and picking his toenails and costs is like
too comfortable. Stop that.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
And then you notice two are the three people that
cannot that are of a never ever ever ever ever
ever ever ever ever list. Yeah, go ahead, well it's
Jordan and j D. Yeah, and then Hooch.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
Yeah, hoos. Jordan and j D are on the never ever,
ever ever ever ever allowed in list.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
Cox learned that Whoch is crazy.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Obviously, Yes, Cox is obviously familiar with who's being crazy.
I don't know that we ever see in real life
Cox's interactions with Hooch, but but we know that how
he feels about Hooch. Interestingly, I believe scrubs Wiki pointed
out that on his sometimes list is hold on Leonard

(40:39):
the security guard. Yeah, and doctor Rodinage, which is one
of the janitor's aliases, implying that that if you, if you,
if you think about it, you can infer that Cox
doesn't know that doctor Rhodinage is the Janitor's.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
So funny, wrote of course janitor backwards.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Yes, thank you for reminding the audience of that. Daniel JD. Okay,
so he has mister Vaughan that you mentioned, who has
pneumonia and Cox has all this paperwork.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
You know.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
His whole thing was like, I'm not going to be
like helso I'm not going to be stuck in this office,
and yet he is stuck in the office.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
We're gonna talk about JD taking mister Vaughan home and
letting him live with him. Yes, did you laugh at that?

Speaker 1 (41:29):
Yes? JD has a fantasy where he takes mister Vaughan
home and they quickly act like an old married couple
who are yelling at each other.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Right, Yes, that's exactly what happened. Well, look who look
who's playing the same song.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yeah. I really got into that, didn't I. I was like,
I was like screaming at him he cries.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
And then getting close up of the one tier coming out.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah, so Carla is we learned that Carla booed Elliot
off of the karaoke stage because she was singing Swing Low,
Sweet Chariot. Right.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Yes, you know what that reminded me of what blazing
saddles when you almost like you used to sing like,
you know, the Camptown Lady. They're like the Camptown Lady.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
You know.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
Well, swing low, Sweet Chariot, y'all never heard that one,
Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. That shit is one of the
best scenes in Melbrook's history, having all these white boys
running around going to campdown lady. Dude. That shit had
me rollering.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
I don't remember. It's been a very long time since
I saw Blazing Saddles.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
What.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
I'm sorry, It's true. I haven't seen since I was
a kid. Oh, by the way, do you remember The Frisco.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Kid Harrison fourteen water?

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Yes, yes, you haven't seen that movie, The Frisco Kid.
It's a great, great movie, all right. So Elliott thinks
it's because she can't sing the low notes, and Carl
is like, sure, that's why you shouldn't sing that song
and the tag. At the very end of the show,
we see Elliott singing the song and an African American

(43:11):
doctor played by Richard Wells, who was not only our
first assistant director for for many, many many episodes of
the show, but also directed a few Scrubs episodes. He
comes over and looks at her like, why the fuck
are you singing that song?

Speaker 2 (43:23):
But he could done. He had to come back to
do that because he wasn't working on the show at
the time anymore.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
He wasn't even he had left, didn't he.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Oh no, he retired on Cougar Town. That's when he retired.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
Yeah, I know that he was.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
He wasn't.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
He was acting as a uniproduction manager at this point,
but he was still around. I love that guy. I
love a great so many great memories with that guy,
one of the best in the business. Mickhead is uh screaming.
So then we talk about how this is the whole
thing about how the nurses don't feel respected, they need
they need more staff. They think Carla is in hoots

(43:59):
with the doctors because she's married to a doctor, because
she's friends with all the doctors. So the nurses are
mad at Carla. And we see we see the nurses
being disrespected. In a couple just quick cuts, Mickhead is
screaming at one nurse really disrespectfully, and then he and
then he breaks and goes, okay, honey, see at home.
We learned that.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
So so just so we're clear, Yeah, Mickhead beat two charges.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Uh yeah, murder wraps.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
Yeah, killing his wife.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
Yeah, and he's got a new a new girlfriend, and
he's yelling at her that he's.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Yelling at Let me tell you what the MD stands for,
makes the decisions. Okay, you got that. I see it
home though.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, that woman, that young nurse shouldn't be with Mickhead.
I don't think someone I mean get the dude's gonna
kill you.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
He's probably gonna kill you.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
I are so many women into Mickhead. I uh, it
must be something great about Mickhead at home because he
keeps even after he beat a couple of murder charts,
does he he's still finding new love?

Speaker 2 (45:05):
Well, love is finding him, yes, and sticking around even
after the warnings.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
Maybe he's really All the nurses in the hospital.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
Are like, girl, don't you know this motherfucker be too?
Murder ups what is you doing?

Speaker 1 (45:19):
She's like, I don't give a shit.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
I love him.

Speaker 1 (45:22):
You don't know what he says to me were we
at home? And then Todd says something so rude to
or sexist or whatever to a nurse and he goes
disrespecting nurses five. So that's our that's our clip of
doctors not treating nurses respect and the nurses are pissed
it at Carla for not they feel she's not advocating

(45:45):
for them.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
Yeah, they think because she's friends with a doctor, best
friends with the doctor, and married to a doctor, that
she is a she is a turncoat, a turncoat exactly.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
So Cox can't leave his office. Everyone wants to get in,
everyone wants a favor. We've seen this happen with Kelso before,
but Cox is experiencing it for the first time. Krler
wants more nurses. The janitor is trying to annoy him.
The janitor, we learned, has a thing he does with
this photograph of the building where he's always He pesters

(46:21):
anyone who gets an office with trying to hang this
picture or pain. I think it's a photograph that nobody wants.
And he really tries to annoy Cox by constantly hammering
and just I don't know, I don't really understand what
was happening.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Well, he's doing it because he didn't get an office,
and that's why he's in the closet. And ever since
he asked for an office, Kelso's hip to it. Kelso
had figured it out. But anytime someone gets in office
that's bigger than the closet that he's in. Right, he
automatically bothers them by trying to hang a photo and
tries to make their life a living hell with the photo.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
Now, if you watch how he's trying to hang this
this this frame, He's got like four nails in the wall,
none of which you can tell are the right nail
for this. So he's just being an annoying And at
one point he hangs it on on fishing line in
the middle of the room and he starts swinging it
and he has a whole bit about how the love
the lookout it's coming towards you. Yeah, it's like it's

(47:22):
got Lenny. I don't even know what the hell he
was talking about.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
It's a different it's a different epis, it's a different episode.
It wasn't your favorite, eh.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
I mean, I giggled a few times. But I do
think I'm not just saying this because I love you.
I don't think this shows is funny without you.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
I'm I'm gonna I'm not gonna lie. I did watch it,
and I did take notes.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Imagine we imagine Webster without Emmanuel Lewis. That's how I
felt with.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Just mister and ma'am.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Yeah, an episode of Webster without Emmanuel Lewis. He's not
an episode of Webster.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
No, it's an episode of mister and ma'am. What what
what what?

Speaker 1 (48:04):
Here's a bit of trivia for you. How did Webster?

Speaker 2 (48:07):
What what?

Speaker 1 (48:08):
What? Furniture object disguised Webster's secret passageway to his room.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
The food was it? What was it? I don't remember.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
It was in the living room and it was what
Webster used to get in and out of his secret passage. Yeah,
it was a grandfather.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
I remember that.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
I was worried. I'm so proud of you that you
got any of you listeners who got it.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
It led to his bedroom.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
I think it led to his bedroom, or at least
the upstairs hallway. It was definitely made me as a
kid go oh man. One day, I want to have
a secret passageway behind a clock. To this day, I
still don't have a secret passageway. I really would like one.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
I would love I would love to be able to
pull a book and the thing.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
Just the classic bookcase. We can't die and not have
had a secret passageway in our lives. I think it
has to be a bucket list for both of us.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Who Dinny had the best? One man? He had like
that whole property in Laurel Canyon that he had underground
passageways and stuff like that so he could do his
magic tricks throughout his house at his parties and.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Stuff like that. That's true. I know that's lore, but
that sounds that sounds incredible. If it's true, I'm.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
Choosing to believe it. From what I understand. That whole,
that whole intersection used to be his. I've heard all.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
I've heard all these rumors that there's tunnels underneath the
ground to other other houses and all sorts of stuff.
It's all. I don't know if it's a rumor or not.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
I mean, if you were the Magic muff, the number
one magic, I bet you go to Copperfield. When you
go to Copperfield's house, He's got a bunch of freaking
secret passages.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
I don't think. I don't think I'm going to his house.
I'm going to his museum.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
But I bet you his museum has a bunch of
secret passages.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
I hope so will I will be able to tell
you tonight. I will text you. You'll be a sleep
because yeah, I may ask you a question ahead. If
he does have this stuff, Yeah, how do you think
he can? Like, I mean, I understand he's rich and
stuff like that, but to.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
Put to reinfrastruct a whole you know what I mean,
to change the infrastructure of a whole city system. How
much money do you think it would cost to do
something like Bruce Wayne. That's where it gets like a
little crazy, right, Like Bruce Wayne does all of this crazy.

(50:33):
The motherfucker has a tunnel that led from his office,
a shoot a skeet shoot that leads from his office
all the way to the bat cave.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
Well, I think you're supposed to imagine that he just
has infinite money, and I think that really I think
I haven't googled it, but I'm told that Copperfield danly
google it for us. I think he's as I understand,
and he is one of the wealthiest single performers INNY.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
I know, That's what I'm saying. So if he does
have this shit, if he if anyone's gonna have it,
it's gonna be him.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
I know he owns an island, which is the which
is your first badass move as a as a zillionaire?
You got to have that island. Right, If you buy
an island, you gotta have an If you got that
kind of money, you gotta have an island. Did you
see the Bezos. So Bezos built this five hundred million
dollars sailboat, right, and it's it's enormous. It's like the

(51:23):
biggest private sailboat and uh, you know whatever, it's a
five hundred sailboat. Yeah, he puts sales on it. I mean,
it's a sailboat. It looks like you know anyway the
point looks like a pirate ship. No, it's it just
looks like a giant sailboat. But here's the thing. The
boat needs a support yacht. There's so many people needed

(51:44):
to run it, and there's so many and and so
much other needs to support the five hundred million dollar
boat that it has a seventy five million dollar yacht
that follows it. The support, the services needed.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
What make Yeah, you can do so this look if
you got if I'm asking all the all of our
listeners too. If you were given a crap ton of money,
right and they were like, you can't spend it on
world peace, and you can't spend it on saving.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
It has to be spent on something stupid. You go ahead, right, we.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Would you spend I would me personally, I would spend
it on like a doomsday.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
Doomsday bunker, like like like a James Bond villain like
doctor something like.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
Something that other than the earth blowing to bits, I'm
going to survive that ship.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
I love the idea. I don't know, there's something I
don't know. I don't know what I would do. I'd
definitely like and I'd probably go with a Copperfield Island
and I'd call it Copperfield Island. Cockfield Island would be saying, I, Dannel,
did you find out the answer?

Speaker 3 (52:51):
I'm kind of getting mixed messages on exactly the answer,
but I did find some very interesting information. Here's a question.
How many shows do you think David Copperfield does per year?

Speaker 1 (53:01):
I heard he does like I know he does to
a day, I think, so let's call that fourteen a week.
What's fourteen times fifty two? Danil, You're smart.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
I'm better at doing two times three hundred and sixty five,
so that would be a little over like seven thirty. Basically,
it's not quite that many, but he does five hundred
and fifteen shows a year.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Yeah, he's yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
And fill up if you could fill up for theater
that many times.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
It sold out every night, it's sold out.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
If you could fill up a theater that many times, Yeah,
you're doing something.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
It's sold out every night.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
Yes, he is individually worth a billion dollars. He gets
sixty million a year from the performances alone, and then
everything else is like merchandise or stuff with his name
on it, or like licensing residuals. Yeah, licensing and residuals
and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
You gotta really love magic to do that many shows
a year man continuously.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
It's his passion.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
It's like you say, like, you know, you like he
must be trying to raise the dead or something like
for real, for real, like he must be trying to
do that Tesla situation in the Prestige, Like straight up, man, do.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
You remember we were kids and he made the Statue
of Liberty disappear? What?

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Yeah? I do remember that? That?

Speaker 1 (54:19):
What's that?

Speaker 2 (54:20):
Was that him that did that?

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Yeah? There was a television special in primetime, I believe,
and it was David Copperfield makes the Statue of disappear
in front of a live audience.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
It was exactly.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
That was like a big moment in.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
Our child if you live in New York, they I mean,
I don't I don't remember. How didn't they cover the
Statue of Liberty or something. I don't remember what. I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
I think I remember that. I remember, I think I
remember finding out how he did it. But I'm not
going to blow anyone's secrets on a podcast.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
I also remember when they put that freaking balloon of
King Kong on the Empire State Building too. I don't
remember what was that for, just to just to I
don't know what the purpose of it was, but they
put a balloon of King Kong on an Empire State
Building and that ship was up there for like at

(55:09):
least a year. I feel like I just remember being like, damn,
that shit is still up there.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
Do you know that the lights and colors of the
Empire State Building are different every night and you can
look up on a website that tells you why they're
that color each night. Oh that's cool.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
I didn't know that they the lights had significance.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Yeah, they're always honoring. Sometimes it would be something like
to honor you know, you know, some union that is
celebrating you know, it's sometimes something you wouldn't necessarily know obviously,
like it's gonna be green on Saint Patrick's Day. But
like sometimes it's like you know, in honor of something
you would never know, but you can always look at.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
It's actually pretty romantic if you could, if you could
pay for I do that for you.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
But all I have to do is I have to
all have to do is look up what the colors
are going to be tonight, Like, oh, they're gonna be
blue and yellow. Like, hey, Donald, because I know that
you love blue and yellow.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
I paid to have it because his favorite color is
yellow in your favorite color. You just have to fight.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Yeah, you just have to find a reason. Funny, Heyboddy,
tonight they're gonna be turquoise and brown. And I know
you love turkois and brown. I don't love. I don't
love turkoise and brown. Oh I wasted all this money,
all ritual to break. When we come back, we will
finish up an episode of Scrub. Is that Donald is

(56:20):
not in the fuck.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Your sound Effects Machine. Wo woo woo woo woo woo
woo woot woot.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Tank Forever and Rebert Zach Zach's Zacha love you. I'm
down girl. Please.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
I laughed my ass off when Ted walked in and
saw Kelso.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
Yeah, that was funny.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
And then he passes out, yeah and sleeps for eight hours.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
He had like eighteen hours.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Eighteen hours.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
Yeah, yeah, Kelso said, whenever, whenever he gets this upset
after I startle him, Uh, he'll usually sleep for eighteen
hours and.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
They pet him and he's like a little puppy on
the couch. And this said said the moment that you realized,
oh Kelso still Kelso did have a little bit of
care for and it's hard for for Ted.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
No, barely. I mean he treated him like a dog.
Earlier we skipped it, but he used to. He starts,
he bends over when when when Cox is about to
start signing contracts or whatever paperwork and he and he goes,
what the hell you doing? Ted? He's like, oh, Kelso
liked to sign his paperwork on my back and uh,
and he goes, it's not that bad. It's I imagine it's.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
What a what a hug feels like, I'm not hugging you, Ted,
I'm not hugging.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
Oh man. So you know Kelso, there's this long walk
and talk with Kelso and JD. Where you know, Kelso
basically says to JD, look, okay, I'm going to give
you the keys to the castle here. I'm going to
give you the behind the scenes information you need, and

(58:00):
that is that you have to keep pushing Cox. Whenever
Cox wouldn't relent on me, even though I knew, even
though I had to fake like I was pissed at him,
I knew that he was passionately advocating for patients, and
I knew when he wouldn't give up that I would
ultimately relent. And if you want to do that, you
have to be that guy for Cox. So you really

(58:23):
see everyone's sort of changing roles now as JD becomes
the Cox, as Cox became the Kelso.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
It also shows you how, you know, in order to
maintain some form of humanity, Kelso really needed Cox too,
And this is something that was never talked about on
the show. You know, he said no to so many people,
and you know, he became such a great chief of

(58:52):
medicine for the hospital, not necessarily for the patients, but
if Cox hadn't always pushed him to do to advocate
for the patients, Kelso might have lost himself in the
hospital and never made it out. And it's this and
he's giving j D that same conversation. Listen, he's going

(59:16):
down a dark path and he and it's it's very
much like Star Wars. And he did it for the
greater good. Vader did it for the greater good to
save the woman he loved. But at the end of
the day, you know, it will consume him, and it will,
it will, can it will, It'll make him into the
person that Kelso became. In order for there to be

(59:39):
a light at the end of the tunnel, there has
to be somebody who was consistently in his face telling him,
you know, what you're doing is wrong and the patients
are what makes this hospital not the hospital.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
Right. It could be it could be said Donald that
he's showing him, he's he's being the uh, the light
side of the force to the dark side of the forest.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
He's come full Anakin. He went to the dark side,
he's come back to the light side, and he's warning
the new apprentice.

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
By the way, Kelseo became a much better man the
second he quit.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Yeah, all of that, dude, just think about all of
a pressure, a freaking.

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
All having to be the bad guy, having to be
a bad guy for everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
To everyone, and I want and and and and and
I bet you at one point he hated it, like
the way Cox hates it. But then eventually he loved it.
He'd learned to love it. It's like an acchoir taste,
like coffee. Remember your first time tasting coffee, and be like,
I will never drink that shit again, And then all
of a sudden, you just kept drinking it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
Although we should mention that he does, he does put
on doctor's coat so he can score free morning after
pills from the pharmacy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
I didn't say he was the saint, just.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
We're just saying that he's turned a corner. And we
forgot to mention that he throws on a lab coat
so he can score free morning after pills from the pharmacy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
What is he doing with those morning after pills?

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
Well, we know that he likes working. No, he likes
working gals. That's very clear.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
He does like the working gals.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
I guess he's also not using protection with the working gals.
I mean, that's that's I think it's safe to imply
that if he's needing, needing so many, so many doses
of the Morning of the Morning, we don't sket.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
Skeet, skeet, skeets meet skeet skeet, skeating all over the place.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
It all comes back to skating, Donald, Is that what
you're saying.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
That's what I'm saying, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
Lastly, Elliott clears it up with the nurse Barb who's
nurse who's a kickboxer, who was threatening to beat her up.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
In the parking lot because of the way she spoke
to her.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
Yeah, she apologizes and and and says that she's going
to be more respectful of the nurses.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
And she also tells him, look, you got to use
Carla as the she's the bridge man. And I get it.
You know that you feel like we are disrespectful to
you guys, And I will try my best to change
and everything like that. But if you really have issues
and stuff like that and things that you want to
get done, you have to use Carla because she's she's
got your back and she's the only one that's connected

(01:02:22):
to all of us.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
Yeah, she's the liaison. Liaison.

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
And then you know, and then JD girl some respect.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
JD finally passionately fights for mister Vaughan and gets what
he wants, just as Kelso said he would from from Cox.
And that's the show. And that's the episode of Scrubs.
Everybody bring Donald Faison back to the program. Ay Man,
that's my chant, that's my chant.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
You know what I've been thinking about me Dian and
Ai fucking being in Star Wars, my Ai being Now
you said on the last episode week all week, all week,
which is now two weeks because we shoot, we record
these about a week before they come out.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
And we don't record them on a Thursday, and they
come out on a Tuesday.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
It's almost a week.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
Do you have any advice for me? On Blackjack? Hit
I hit on twenty right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Always bet on black No on blackjack?

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
Yeah, hit on sixteen.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Yeah, you have to hit on the sixteen.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Always assume that the.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Less unless they're showing like a three, four, five or six.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
Then you stay okay on announce because you're assuming that
they have they have a face.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
Card or underneath. And so then when they flip over
with thirteen and they hit right, even if they get
a nine on that, that's one too many.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
But you have to always assume that their face card,
that their card down is a ten. Right, always assume that,
okay and uh, and I can always ask them. They
they will tell you what the book says.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Some people will, some people won't.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Dependent I never met a dealer. If you're like, what
does the book say, I've never met a dealer that
doesn't tell you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
It's really funny to me. Do you No? They won't
say no, but there's something that have at Oh the
book says you should hit. Oh God, I've just hit.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
I don't play that much. But when I feel like
they're mostly cool and want to help and her friendly,
because that's something they want.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
They just want that money.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
They want you to drink, right, well, they want to
They want you to tip them, so that's why they're
more likely to help you. Right.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
Remember those chips are actual money, Zach, Just remember that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
Yeah, I'm so inspired by this documentary. I think I
might try.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
Counting get kicked out a day.

Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
To get kicked out a seven, I would dare you
to get kicked out of it without any training. I'm
going to try and count a seven deck. Shoot you
can do it, and my mind and my mind Okay,
I think there's been two queens. These dudes are these

(01:05:13):
dudes have a whole method by which they keep track
of that many decks. It's incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
What if you count out loud, What if you're like, okay,
that was five queens? Right, guys, It's like.

Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
They kicked my will they kick me out with the
whole table. I'm all right, I'm gonna keep track of queens.
You keep track of kings, right, I'll make friends.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
How many aces is that, Jim? That's seven aces? Seven aces?

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
Susie, why are you leaving? You're you're in charge of
counting the twos together? She's like, I'm broke. I just
lost all my money. You're counting that toes? Get back here? Well,
how many if you're gonna leave? How many two's were there?

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
Are? All right?

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
That's our show.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
Nobody today. There's nobody calling in, and there's nobody and
no Joelle. We don't have Joel, No Joel. Dan blew
it all right.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
I want to say, to be.

Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
Fair, this isn't your job, Dan Donald's.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Donald's gonna forget this. But I just want to say
June tenth in Seattle.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
At them, you should tell them about June tenth, and.

Speaker 1 (01:06:22):
Yes, okay, I will, I will right now, June tenth.
I think we're almost sold out at the jew at
the More Theater in Seattle. Join us or forever hold
your piece. And I also have an important announcement about
A Good Person. Today is officially the day you can
finally rent it for five ninety nine. It's been a
long time coming for the price to come down to

(01:06:42):
five ninety nine, but those of you who were waiting
for that opportunity, it's now officially for rent for five
to nin nine. So please check out A Good Person,
directed and written by myself, starring Morgan Freeman and Florence
Pugh and Molly Shannon Good.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
We should probably tell them because we don't talk about
this enough, and I think we've discussed it it all.

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
Oh my god, tenth, Yes, thank you for reminding us, Donald,
thank you for reminding us. The June tenth of the
More Theater in Seattle, the first and possibly only live
episode of Fake Doctor's Real Friends. All right, count of
sound my friend?

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
All right, guys, it was a pleasure. I miss you
when we're not here.

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
And on that note, stories that show we made about
a bunch of dogs and nurses and said, he's the
stories Nets.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
No so YadA round here, YadA rad here spect me
show is that