My T.C.W. with Bill Lawrence

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is how we do it. This is how we
do it. This is how we do it, Shanna. This
is how we do it, Shanna. Good morning, good afternoon.
Hi everybody, Hi hi, hi, hi Hi everybody. I love you,

(00:21):
I love you, I love you. Holy cow. Well Joel,
First of all, Joel, you look beautiful. I don't know
what's happening you. Oh, I see and Daniel and Daniel
you've changed your look and your background. I am I mean,
I guess I can tell the fans. I am currently
in New York City. Oh, we're all jumping around the world. Indeed,

(00:46):
I'm a meeting an you know, you know what's two
black people are jumping around the world. Black jumping around
the world at all. I had to meet my girlfriend's
family for the first time. I'm sorry, that's amazing. Go
Do they like you? What's not to like? You're a
charming motherfucker? Well you honor me. I really appreciate that.

(01:06):
Haven't met yet. We got COVID test this morning, So
when we come back with negative results and we quarantine
a little bit, then we'll be okay meeting people. But
for the time being, were shacked up, just kind of chilling.
Did you do the rapid test. Uh it is? I
think so. Yeah. We went to the went to the
hospital and got the nose swab. It's my first time
getting a no swab. This is the thing they go,
They go deep like Donald, this isn't wow. This is

(01:30):
the thing everybody's doing nowadays, Like everybody's just getting that
rapid test to make sure that they can hang out
with each other. We should have told me you could
have hung out in my apartment. I'm so sorry that's
sitting there empty. I didn't want to bother you. I'm
so sorry. Next time for it, Daniel. That's very interesting
because when I ask for that ship, he tells me
no every time. Yeah, you know why. You know why

(01:51):
because Daniel will fucking be respectful. I can picture you
having like a party and smoking fucking jazz cabbage one.
I don't have any friends other than you and Daniel
and Joel and Daniel and Joel and I don't hang out. Okay, wait,

(02:12):
wait till the tour bus. Wait till the tour bus.
Oh my god. That's so dangerous. But I can I
can trust. I can picture trusting Daniel in my apartment,
and I know that nothing would happen with you. I
can picture like you'd forget some candle next to the
drapes and then backdraft. I find that one offensive because

(02:38):
what makes you think that I like candles? What the
fun is that about? I don't like candles candles. I
am one of those people who does not like candles,
I think. I mean, my wife loves candles, so they
burn in our house. But I'm one of those people
who's like, you're gonna light a candle? Is this like

(02:59):
a fire hazard thing? I just don't. I mean, that
smells waxy and scented. The only candles I do like
is at the hotel whatever that hotel is that's in
New York City, and the lobby smells like it smells
like this certain candle, and apparently this candle costs a
ship ton of money. I want to say it's the
Bowery I could. Is that the one with the club

(03:22):
in the lobby. It's not a club, it's like a
really sexy lounge. There's there's one that has literally a
club right next door, Like on some nights you come
downstairs and there's a club popping right next door. It's
like and and you can easily you can easily. What
is the other one. There's a bunch of them anyway.
My point, Josh Rayden stayed at the Bowery so much

(03:44):
they gave him an embroidered bathrobe with his name on it.
And when he would stay the bathroom would be lying
on the bed. But he had to leave the bathrobe
there when he left. Literally at the Bowery, when you stay,
when you spend enough money there and stay there long enough,
you get your own embroidered robe, and they lie in
on your bed when you're there, and when you're not there,
they stored away in the embroidered road rooms. Good dollar, good?

(04:11):
Did you see what? What? First of all, I need
to know. First of all, I have a special surprise
for you in this episode I planned. Okay, Donald, Joel
and Dan will know what the surprise is. You got
me to fucking oh shoot, you got to yeah, Zick,
you got me to simulator. Now, calm that not that good.

(04:32):
It's not a six thousand dollar golf simulator. No. I
really appreciate that though. By the way, speaking of speaking
of surprises, I don't even know who two Chains is.
I imagine he's a very famous rapper. Right, did you
just say, Tea Chains, do you do you like to change?
You guys? Are you too chains fans? Because the three
of you I think like rap right, two Chains is

(04:54):
like conic. I was gonna say, you know, I'm just
certainly most certainly jump man, jump man jump No, that's
the future right up to something right now. I've never
heard of two Chain song. I imagine he's very successful.
And I can tell you that he's friends with Kanye
West because I went on the inner webs today and
Kanye West gave two Chains an amphibious a t V.

(05:18):
That is the coolest looking thing I've ever seen. Kanye
West is a billionaire dude, no I know, but he
still gave his friend an amphibious a t V and
he put a plaque on it. You got, I mean,
if you're listening to this, just google it. It's the
coolest thing ever. And I'm hoping that one day Donald
will get rich enough to buy me one If I
get a billion dollars in my bank account when I

(05:40):
should how much union? How much? A billion? Yeah? I
think you need a billion? Oh man, it's so it's
called a sherma or something. Hold on, I saw because
Kanye probably paid for the thing and still still had
a billion after he paid Joel, can you look up
what it's called. Just look up Amphibious a t V
the two chains got from Kanye sharp a t v

(06:03):
S shirp a t v S. Yes, it's branded well
he he tricked it out and I'm sure there's a
dope sound system and he did. Did you see the picture,
you guys, if you're listening, you have to google image
this thing. Everybody needs one, everybody needs. Do you know
what I want? I want the sharp a TV that
turned into a sub I want the subversion. I want

(06:26):
the one that when because look, it's great to be
able to go over hills and it's great to be
able to do like you know, uh, go in the water.
Wouldn't be in chaste, but you know it's even better
than that to be like that's it sucking. I'm out
and dive and then dive to the depths of the ocean,
depths that you know some people like dude, I want

(06:46):
the freaking spy car on ground and water, land and
sea and yo, j did you see the picture? Joel
just sent us to it. It's fucking amazing. Fighting for freedom,
ob wherever there's trouble over land and sea and there

(07:09):
Joe is there. Oh my god, that it is tight.
If if an erection was an a TV that sh
it looks like a g That shi it looks like
a Cobra vehicle. It looks like a Cobra vehicle from
the g I Joe cartoon. I only wishb Yeah, he
put up. He engraved a proverb on a plaque and

(07:32):
put it on on the thing. This is wild, you guys.
My only wish for Donald Phazon is that he gets
rich enough to buy me that thing. I love it.
I hope that one day that is possible. I hope
tell me, um, hey, Daniel, tell me when, tell me
when the surprise is in? Present is present? The surprise

(07:52):
is ready and waiting. Okay, so Donald, I got you
a present today. No, it's a uh you know Donald.
For listeners out there, we were hoping to invite Sarah
chalk on today because she's prominent and very funny in
this episode. But she is just I think she's like

(08:15):
camping in the middle of nowhere, Canada with her family,
and uh so she couldn't come. So I reached out
to everybody's favorite guest. Let's bring him in, Donald, Donald,
close your eyes, close your eyes, Bill. Yeah yeah, Look

(08:44):
how happy is Bill? Look how much happiness he ring? Donald?
How could I be a surprise? I think about every episode.
This is very exciting. But dude, this is it's always
a good episode when Bills are count on it being
a good episode. When Bill is on the fans love it.

(09:04):
I love it. I'm gonna tell you one thing. I
was hoping you were a golf simulator. Bill. I'm not
gonna lie. Bill, I go, I got you a surprise.
He goes a gulf simulator. Although I understand that even
by the way, even just like one of those nets
you put in your backyard and hit into that would
have been that would have been as good as me that. No, no, no, no,

(09:27):
this is way better than no. It's by the way, Donald,
it's not one of those tiny nets that catches golf
balls with the Matt. It's so they're perfect, Matt. That'll
be That'll be the next surprise. Bill. I'm I have
to tell you that. Um, I love you so much.
But one thing that really annoys me is in my
in my social media when I'm scrolling and I see
and I'm just posted a podcast that Donald and I did,

(09:48):
and I'm I think it's funny, and I want to
know what everyone thinks, and you weren't on the particular one.
And the first comment is more Bill, please, that's all.
This is a out for me now it means it's working.
That's my I really, I really hate it. I hate
it because Donald and I finally launched something successful without you,
and you're slowly infiltrating how could this be considered without Bill?

(10:13):
It's a fucking mean. It's totally of course with him,
but he wasn't. I just think it's funny that everywhere
like merch ideas, everyone's like, how about Bill on a
hat saying five. I'm not doing a ton of retweeting lately,
but I will say anybody that tweets me and says Bill,

(10:34):
I'm enjoying your podcast with Zack and Donald, I immediately
retweet that it makes me so happy happy. I know
that you love it, and and uh and and but
the truth is that you're very funny and the people
love Bill Lawrence. And also we have to say congratulations,
because I don't know if the three of you who
are not Bill no, but his show Ted Lasso is

(10:57):
a giant hit. People fucking love it. There's aplause, wonders, applause,
then oh jeez, thank you Zachie. It's is cool. By
the way, it was, you know, it was one of
those things I wish I could have done in America
because then, you know, I love bringing the people back
onto shows that I've worked with before, so i'd see you. Also,
it's such a gift that you were in London and
got to direct one z but that was super no,

(11:18):
I know, And if you were shooting right now, I
could be directing another one because I'm here. Um. But
but you have you have, you have some of your
favorites on the show already. I didn't know you had
Brett on the show Man. Oh yeah, yeah, by the way,
I forgot. They got with Donald. But the advantage Brett
lives there, you know, he that guy, that guy is
you know what I mean. Donald did a pilot with

(11:38):
me and Brett. I'm trying. By the way, Donald, this
is this is where what our life has become. It's
like what zach used to with girls is zax in London.
Brett lives in London with a love with Brett Goldstein
is a writer and producer, and he started the pilot
that Donald that Donald and I did together, and he's
one of the producers and stars of Ted Wat. So

(12:00):
he plays Roy and I'm trying to make exact be
friends with him, like Zac, you got a friend, you
would love it. You will love him. I don't know
if you're talking out with him yet. You will love him.
He is our speed. We joked about Donald and I
joked about going on a mandate because we had Shay
on as you know Bill because you you uh, you
did interrupting Bill, And we joked about like wanting if

(12:21):
it weren't COVID, like wanting to to go out and
hang out with Shay. But it's we're talking about how
it's weird in your forties to be like what do
you how do you like start a new male friendship.
It's like, hey, would you like to go on a
on a mandate? And uh? And Bill is trying to
set me up on a mandate with Brett, while I'm
you should go, dude, you should hang out with him.
You guys would laugh a lot man And he doesn't
give a ship that You're Zach Brapp and we're on

(12:43):
Scrubs or anything like that. He's one I know. I
already worked with him, dude. I directed him on ted
Lasso and he was He was delightful and funny as ship.
Does he write episodes too, Yeah, he's because he's a Donald.
He's a writer. First, he got he's someone another one
of those people we have to all be friends with.
He created his own show on AMC that comes out
in two months. It just got picked up for a
second season. So he's got his own he's got his

(13:04):
own show. He's starting in another one. He's wrote a
big movie in the UK called Nan, and he's got
a very big podcast that he wants you both to
be on. He's his podcast, not to promo it on yours.
Is called Films to be Buried With and they sometimes
shoot it at the British Film Institute and he basically
just interviews you about what movies you'd like to be

(13:24):
known for as your favorite. Donald will be all about
Star Wars for you when you die, What are the
movies you want your kids to see, What movies influenced
you the most and all that stuff. He's awesome, that's cool,
that's awesome. I'm gonna be on it because he's already
hit me up and we're our mandate process has begun.
We are we are chatting, we are chatting. He is also,

(13:45):
by the way, Zach coupled up with a younger, charismatic,
stunningly beautiful and fun British woman like yourself. I mean,
it's as if you guys were yet by the way,
who her name is Beth. But because they use the
word fit over there if a girl is very attractive
or if a boy is very attractive, he started calling
her fit Beeth when they first started dating, and it

(14:05):
has somehow stuck as her nickname. So when you call
him up, you'd be like, hey, what are you up to.
He's like, oh, I'm just here having dinner with fit
Beeth and it's uh. I think it's one of the
all time solid British nicknames. Well, I'm excited to take
him on a double date with fit Florence. Um, hey,
we haven't. We haven't. We haven't started the show with

(14:26):
with singing yet. And I think since some it is
your catchphrase, you might want to do the honors. I
don't like to do it when people ask me to
do it. Nobody's asking you nobody's asking five, six, seven
about show we made about a bunch of times and nurses,
and so get around here, yeah, around here. I'm gonna

(15:03):
try something new with the breakdown. I get very excited
about the breakdowns. You're not. You're not gonna get excited
about this one bill because people who started freaking talking
trash on the internet about dude j D does the
summary of life and everything at the end of every episode,
Please just tell us what's going on because I have
no idea. And then part of me said, it's a

(15:26):
rewatch podcast. You've had over ten years to catch up
and watch these episodes, so what's the problem. And people
are still beefing? So I just want to double check
somebody double I just want to double check that you're
a forty six year old man who's been in the
public eye for most of your life and some comment
a guy mean on the internet upset you just double

(15:46):
checking absolutely yes, and it wasn't just a guy, it's
girls and guys. Okay, So literally literally, probably three people,
I would say about six six people have unraveled. That's awesome.
Six out of the out of the half a million
over half a million people that follow me playing now.

(16:11):
So wait, you're saying Donald, It's just so I'm clear,
you're saying that someone trolled the thing you do and
now you're gonna change it, and you're gonna change it
to what I'm just gonna give a summary of what
happens in the episode. By the way, you know, what
you should do is protests once in a while, is
you should just read Zack's end voice over words. But Bill,

(16:41):
but Bill, as you as you told us, they don't
really make much sense out of context. They're like, at
the end of the day, the friends that you have
are the best friends you're ever gonna have. That's what
you need to have. Friends. You're using half a little
too much, and that's bad writing, buddy, you're losing. You
use half three times. The friends you have are gonna

(17:02):
be the friends at the end of the day. The
friends you have will always be the friends you get.
So being happy with what you have obtained, all you need,
all you need is a slow motion crane shot and
a stad Indie song And I got tears of my hons. Well,

(17:23):
you're the one that taught me that. Actually, you're the
one that taught me that, Because it's no bullshit. Bill,
You're the one that told me that. And it's it's
it's so bad that I go to other jobs now
and writers will have, you know, it'll say something like that.
It'll be like, uh, we have to get out of
here because we have to find a way to you know,

(17:44):
do something. And I'm like, we're saying we have to
like twice, is there another way that we can do this? Right?
I see writers look at me like how do fun?
Who do who do? And it's always like I always
want to be like, well, you know, legendary comedy writer
Bill Lawrence talking you guys can you guys can do

(18:05):
it however you'd like. But just so you know, Bill Lawrence,
all right, so if I've got if I understand this rightly,
you're just gonna summarize the facts of the episode now
because you've been successfully trolled. Yes, just this one. And
I didn't know it was gonna be on the show.
I would have known Bill was gonna be on the show.
I said, And yeah, by the way, this is so,

(18:28):
this is the this is what you get when you
complain petulant recap. I like that, right, this is what
you get. This is what you get when you complain
ready one two? Alright. This episode shows every level of
the relationship. Elliott and Nurse Flowers are at the end
of Bears, Jordan and Cox are the brand new baby phase.

(18:49):
Turke and Carlor are now engaged and they're feeling the
pressure of having to follow through, and j D is
single and ready to mingle with tasty. Come a wife,
there you go. That's I don't. I don't, I don't,
I don't. I don't like it. I know you don't
like it. Yeah. For me, I have to be honest
with you, Donald, Um, there was something nice about you

(19:13):
as this many years later looking back and seeing the
episode as a whole and giving your emotional sort of
summary of it from someone who wasn't really to what
you've said before, wasn't really looking at it very closely
at the time, And now this many years later, you're
looking back at it and seeing something. I I think

(19:34):
that's very valuable and I think listen, if you're one
of the six people that successfully troll Donald, you can
type in episodes of Scrubs to sixteen summary and you'll
beat home run. There We'll go to Trevor Wicky and
he'll freaking summarize it for you. This is what you
get from being petty. Donald and Zack can't ask for this,

(19:56):
but I would ask people that are listening to that,
when love Donald's old summations, to please let him know
after this episode that you love the way he used
to do it, because I found it much more passionate
and I loved hearing him talk about it. I like
it the other way too. I'm not gonna lie to
you guys. So that was the only time, by the way,
and if if, no matter how long we do this podcast,

(20:17):
that is the only time you will ever hear Donald
do a true boring summary of the episode. I like that.
I like that you discover something, Donald, because let's be honest,
you were either on jazz Cabbage or playing a video
game and not really paying attention to what we were doing.
So now twenty years later you're looking back. I'll tell you,
you know, this episode it really makes you think about

(20:41):
the relationship that you're going that I'm going through right now,
and made me look at that, you know what I mean.
My wife and I have surpassed every level of relationship.
In this episode, We've had the kid and we you know,
they're growing. Now, we've already did the beginning dates, we
did the we did the breakup and then get back

(21:01):
together stuff, Like everything that's happened in this episode, my
wife and I have done. And that's the one thing,
because these characters are so new, that's the one thing
in this episode that is missing, if you ask me, uh,
is the successful We've done it all, but these guys
are finding each other and getting to know each other.
In my tasty come of wife this episode. This is

(21:25):
a really good episode. Laughed so many times, dude, I thought, Phil,
I'm so glad. First of all, I know that you
you technically write them all because you're overseeing the writer's room,
but your name is actually on this one, along with
Adam Bernstein, who's directed the pilot, And so I was
just so happy that I happened to ask you to
come on, because not only is it a great seminal

(21:46):
episode with a lot of great stuff in and very moving,
I thought at the end, but you happen to be
one with your with your name on the script, so
I was I was doubly glad you were here. And
Laverne has the best Laverne has the best line in
the show. Oh good episod this is good episode, which
one way I think I wrote down that line a
good Show Today, Good Show Today, Good Show Today. That's

(22:12):
sixth wrote that down. So the show opens up guys
with I'm trying to go in for a slow kiss
with Rowdy and the audience is the visual makes the
audience go, what the fuck is going on? And then
you reveal that Donald is coaching me because I haven't
been with a woman in a while and I'm rusty,
and he's giving me some some drills, kissing drills. I

(22:36):
think you always go left or right, right one of
the two. I always go right. I always go right,
and I'm I'm I'm. Basically, I just wanted to say
out loud that that Bill Lawrence got on television network television,
Um a show that opens with a man French kissing
at taxidermy dog. That makes me so happy. You know

(22:58):
what made me happy about that section? I know Donald's
heard it before. I wanted Donald to tell me if
it was real or not. When you're working your wrap
with that dog, I think you use your young Zach
Braff's sexy voice and uh, you know when he's like, hey,
you want some kibble and put and I put, I
put my finger on his lips, and I wanted to

(23:18):
ask Donald if he ever heard that sexy voice for real,
Zach trying to lay that sexy girl, that sexy voice
on people back in the day. No, you know, No,
I've never been I've never been next to Zach when
he has his game down. That's me. You've heared me,
never heard You've I've heard I've seen you be like

(23:39):
I'm going in and then you go in and then
come back like, oh yeah, it worked. But I've never
seen I've never been privy to Hey girl, I've never
I've never been pretty the music and you know the
in the song where the base finally gets to talk,
Hey girl, you come to the row, I have a

(24:00):
better I've never heard that moment. Well, my my game
isn't that good, but my game is certainly Uh. I
don't have a low base hey baby voice, but I did.
I did think it was just I loved what I
loved about the show Bill is what I'm saying is
that I'm saying in a joking way, but I just
love that how bizarre this show is that it opens

(24:23):
like this and then and then just when you think, like, Okay,
that was random and weird. Way later on, when I
go to kiss Amy Smart, you call it back because
here Donald's like, no, man, you go right too much.
You gotta go left when I'm leaning into kiss. And
then later I go to kiss Amy Smart and she's like, oh,
you went left, as if as if, by the way,

(24:44):
anyone has ever used that as a judgment factor for
kissing where you went after right? No one has ever
said that to anybody, right. It makes me think, and
I'm if you're listening right now, do you think about it?
Do you do you have a normal way that you
lean in to make hat with someone. I'm doing it
alone by myself right now. I think I probably do
normally favor left. Do you go right? Right? Dud I

(25:07):
go right? I would walk in well, because we both
go right, Joel, you go right. I don't know, right, Okay,
I don't know. I think I might be a lefty
when it comes to the leaning. Well, you're the question
that did she go left because that's the only way
it works, but is if she goes left also, I

(25:28):
don't know. I gotta tell you it's really I'm gonna
try later on and see what happens. But I think
I'm a lefty when it comes to that. Bill, I
couldn't help but wonder when Krista's being so incredibly horrible
to Johnny cum during during as they deal with their newborn,
if any of this could possibly have been based on
real life. Yeah, you guys are well aware that I

(25:54):
was just at this stage of having kids with Krista,
and that, uh, I, without a doubt lived in a
world that I was supposed to remove my shoes and
wash my hands, even though I still wasn't allowed to
hold my daughter. So uh, and it was a lot
of get out of the room, don't make noise, turn
that light off, Go get me this, go do that.

(26:15):
So yes, by the way, the only thing that was
different was I was not nearly shirtless, is often as
Johnny C chose to be around his wife in newborn.
Otherwise we're supposed to. Yeah, so Johnny C is is naked.
Now why do you do when you're in the writer's room,
are you guys at this point you know, end of
season two, sort of laughing like, oh, Johnny C loves

(26:35):
to be naked. Let's make him be naked and show
off his muscles. Uh do you do you really think
that we right? Johnny C shirtless or uh, you know
that one, that one we did it. Yeah, he normally
decides on his own, but this one we did script
because for full disclosure, we had seen so many scenes

(26:56):
that we hadn't written it um that we decided to
write it once and have her say we all get it,
you love your body. Then he puts on a Shocky jersey.
Is that a real sports player shocky or yeah? Jeremy
Shocky was a tight end for the New York Giants.

(27:17):
He was He played really well for us. His you know,
his football career was short. He had a pretty short
football career. Actually, he was really good. But then got
hurt a bunch of yeah, yeah, like a lot of heads,
Like he broke a lot of bones, I think, and
got his head hit. But he was a tight end.
He was like you know, before Tony Gonzalez, tight ends

(27:39):
were pretty much just blocking and everything like that, and
then Tony and yeah, yeah, there's a bunch of him
now And the best one ever is by far Bronkowski.
Like Gronkowski's taking everything and all of these other Titans
have done and turned it into a you know a

(27:59):
k eiver role that is very like it's it's it's
unheard of to have a bunch of receivers and your
best receiver be your tight end. You know what I mean?
And yeah, watch watch you don't watch Zack's eyes roll
back into his head when I say, but don't you
think Travis Kelsey is also kind of coming up behind shock,
coming up behind ground right now, and if he blows
his brains out? I have a question. I have a question, zactly.

(28:25):
I'm sorry, but we're talking about tight ends right now.
I have I literally, like j D, I swear to god,
you said tight end, and like j D, I went
off and started thinking about what I picture is a
tight end, a nice firm bottom. And then you guys
pulled me back when you said Grunkowski because I think
I know what that guy looks like. Can you explain

(28:45):
to the listeners who don't follow football what does a
tight end do? A tight end? Basically, A tight end
is basically a blocker. Really, It's like somebody who can
who you know, is on the line and blocks for
the quarterback, but is eligible to catch the ball also
if needed. You know what I mean, So you only

(29:06):
have a certain uh bunch of players that can actually
catch the ball. It's illegal for other players to do it. Oh,
I didn't know that the right. So you're saying, not
every player is allowed to catch the ball. No, they
have to be an eligible they have to be an
eligible receiver. Sometimes someone will have to tell the refs
that on a certain formation he is eligible, like alignment
can suddenly be eligible. But not everybody can catch the ball.

(29:29):
I had I did not know that. And then uh,
and then what Donald it? To make it more interesting,
what Donald and I are talking about is the position
is evolved because these guys are so big there to
these the new modern tight end is too big to
be covered by a little defensive back. Were the ones
that cover receivers and uh, too fast to be covered
by a big linebacker. And because these guys are now

(29:51):
become the kind of ultimate athletes on football teams, these
Travis kelsey Kelsey's and grons and Tony Gonzalez. Right, if
you have a good tight if you have a good
tight end, you all you got a good tight end. Donald, there,
now we're back on thank you very much, thank you.
Bronkowski has come out of retirement because Yeah, dude, he's

(30:14):
He's probably the most popular Titan ever in the history
of Titans. He's a character. He's like, I once worked
out with this dude, and when I tell you, holy
sh it, Like the workout I was doing was a
warm up for him, you know what I mean? And
I was I was sweating and jumping and lifting weights
and everything like that, and it was literally a warm
up for him. And then he went into something else after.

(30:36):
So you know, um, let's talk about how he's decided
to call me dogs names. But let's talk about these
pratfalls first though, man, because there are a couple of
platfalls in the opening that are pretty dope. One Ricky Schroeder.
Schroder has a great pratfall over the thing with the
blindfold on. Yeah, and then you have a great pratfall

(30:59):
epic one. Yeah. And I even winced it myself. I
was like, how did that not hurt? Because it's definitely
me doing it, and it looked like it fucking hurt.
It looked it looked like it really really hurt. And
you add the noise on those two, it seemed violent.
I liked it. I feel like if I was if
there was a sport that was stunt pratfalls. I could

(31:19):
I could be good at it. Well, your best pratfall
of all times with tasty Karma wife, either later this
year or next year when you fall down the stairs
at her husband's funeral. That's the next episode. I think.
I think that's coming up. Um. Also, I want to
give a shout out to Paige Peterson. She's been on
the show four times now and we want to and

(31:40):
we've yet to talk about her. She was the nurse
that said I'm having surgery right now or I'm having
whatever it is right now and loving it. This is
her fourth time on the episode, and she's the one
that says, you aren't you the one that likes to
make out with dogs right before you go into Wait
did you know her? How did you know her name?
Or you looked it up? I looked it up. Oh yeah,

(32:01):
that's nice. Yeah, it's good of you to give her
a shout out because she she actually she She's got
a lot of funny one liners and she did a
good job. It's also so hard back then to have
continuity and do a network show that like you're hoping
that people would see the same nurses and doctors that
don't necessarily speak every week, but still have those people

(32:22):
be in the background every week, you know. So it's
cool when we were able to do that with somebody. Yeah,
this was her last I think this is her last
episode unfortunately, but well I'm hoping that's because she went
and got lots more work somewhere else. Well she I
believe she did. I believe she did. I believe she
did get another job. She when she's she's she's talented
and funny and pretty. So those are good qualities to

(32:42):
have in Hollywood. Speaking of which, it leads to a
conversation about Amy Smart, which we're gonna have after this break,
because she certainly is pretty, and she certainly is funny,
and she does a great job in this episode. So
we will be right back for you, and we're bad

(33:07):
and back. Come on, Bill, you gotta do it the same.
I gotta tell you, I'm still by the way. So
what's the early verdict on interrupting Bill on that? I
love you guys, how you guys feeling it and people
really like it and the fans love it, and I
felt bad because, um, your your your tone in the
second one was sort of build and I said, I

(33:30):
don't know if you heard the last episode, but I
was like, I think we may have heard Bill's feelings.
And I was like, Bill, You're allowed to go on
as long as you want, even if you want to
do a seven minute money log. It is fine by
us the fans. By the way, we didn't hurt Bill's feeling.
It was Donald said he was cool with it, and

(33:50):
Donald said, I'm fine Donalds. I think the quote is
I'm fine with it. It's Bill, I'm fine with it.
And then if I'm just I can't remember the specific
but I think it was exactly Zack who said the
funny thing was wait, the funny thing was on your
last bit of trivia? The answer was Elizabeth Banks. And

(34:11):
I didn't get it at all, but Donald knew it,
and you and the only thing you'd recorded is thanks Zak,
I'm sure you're the one who got it. It was
so by the way, I know, but I don't expect,
because of Donald's rep on the show for him to
remember this stuff. So when he does get what, I'm
happily surprised. Are you kidding me? When Elizabeth Banks came
on the show, I thought it was the biggest deal

(34:32):
after watching Uh the four year Old Virgin and he goes,
I'm gonna put my bicycle in your trunk and she goes, oh.
And then when she came onto show, I was like,
I'm paying attention to this. I want to talk about
something before we go forward with the Amy smart thing.
Ralph he's back on this episode and and somebody said

(34:55):
to me on the into Web and I'm not sure
if this is true because now I don't I don't.
I didn't remember the young man's name. But apparently Ralphie
is in Shazam. Oh ship is he really? That's cool?
Apparently Ralphie's in Shazamn, either as one of the kids
or as uh, the one of the super kids. This

(35:16):
is nineteen years ago. He's not a kid or then
as one of the superheroes. This could because there's a
whole bunch of there's a whole bunch of Shazam's at
the end of sam at the end of spoiler were
you trying to figure out and maybe Joel if you
could send us in the chat a picture of what
he looks like today, because I'm dying to know. But
I actually saw that and I saw that movie in
the theaters because Zach is the star of Zach play

(35:38):
Sasam in that no, no bill, that's a different that's
a different sact. What if I was in Chasam, you
guys would all have amphibious a t vs like like
Kanye West just gave three chains. Although I don't think
you're correct about Joey being in Shazam, Okay, but it

(35:58):
wasn't me that somebody. Somebody said it to me. Uh
And now that person was wrong there, that's that's the
same person that was wrong about how brilliant your summaries
of the episodes are. Thank you, Thank you person who
said that Joey was in Shazam. You were wrong. So
you were correct about something. Though last week Joey was
in the gag reel um absolutely thrown into the glass

(36:21):
door exit by accident. Yeah, I remember that, tossed into it.
I also remembered on the gag reel for those of
you whould like to go back and look at them.
And by the way, if you don't know, we sometimes
use the words interchangeably for those of you who don't know,
a gag and blooper reel or something we cut together
at the end of every season they're just kind of

(36:43):
the mistakes, funny, funny mistakes from when we're filming, and
I think they're all on YouTube. You can look up
for example, Season two scrubs. They'll either say blooper or gag.
They're kind of used interchangeably, and they're very funny. And
one of the things not only is Ralphie hitting the
door on there, but in this episode when Donald falls
over Rowdy. Do you remember this. I don't know if

(37:04):
I remember. A crew member was like holding up Rowdy
to make sure he didn't fall over something. We had Rowdy.
It wasn't held up but Zach. We had Rowdy, uh,
because he had trouble standing at that point because some
of his legs strength has deteriorated. Rowdy had to be
kind of fastened. I was rowdy, Riggs, I forgot he

(37:30):
was Rowdy was fastened. He was kind of fastened to
the little carpeting thing there to stand upright, you know
what I mean. And the assumption was when Donald would
hit Rowdy that he would go down, but I still couldn't.
I still couldn't. The joke is I've tripped over Rowdy
and but Rowdy couldn't fall or didn't look right, and
so I had to pretend that I tripped over rowdy

(37:53):
with knocking rowdy over, which makes which makes up to
stay up as if rowdy was solid it and Donald
just fell down, not like fell on top of Rowdy.
So on the gag reel, which you'll see, is that
Donald trips over rowdy, Rowdy falls down and then magically
pops back up again. I remember, Donald, you started I

(38:16):
read the whole crew started cackling. It was so fucking funny.
I when I saw the when I saw the gag
on this, when I saw the the stunt fall on this,
I went, oh my god, I remember that moment, and
this is like nineteen years ago. That's how funny it was.
It was very disturbing too, because it made the dog seem,
you know, like it was. Um, well, Bill, I what

(38:39):
was the story about Amy? I mean, I'm sure that
I had if you had asked me, and you would say, hey,
we need a very funny, attractive new love interest for you.
If if the year was two thousand two, I probably
like any heart, because um, I think that you know,
she's obviously a beauty, but I really think she's got
comedic chops and I thought she was really really good

(39:01):
in this episode. Well you know, it's uh, we had
it randomly, you'd be surprised. But a lot of times casting,
especially if it's not huge stock, casting starts much like
Donald said about Elizabeth Banks, who obviously is a huge
star now and back there was doing uh whatever horse
movie was and Virgin you know, and all that stuff

(39:23):
and just kind of getting her career going. What was
the horse movie she was? She played Jeff Bridge's young
wife was No one even knows that's her? Um, what
the horse whisperer? No? Did you guys? You guys get this.
It's the Sea Biscuit. She played Jeff Bridge's young wife
in that with brown hair. And she was also in
Catch Me if you can. I think with Leo. I
think she had a Leo. She was also in all

(39:45):
of the Spider Man movies as the secretary for J.
James J. Jamison. That's his name, right, J. J. Jonah Jamison.
And then uh so, But the point is like that
sometimes casting will come us who when people are starting
to dig the show, and we'll do it from us
having watched a movie. And I think a bunch of

(40:07):
the writers in the room saw a road Trip because
they cast both Amy Smart and remember DJ Qualls or
whatever his name, the tall kind of dork yet they
were both from Road Trips. Would be like, hey, this
is a funny movie with people doing comedy and the
cool thing was Scrubs. At this point had reached the
stage that when you reached out to people like that
if they had seen the show, like Amy was really

(40:28):
cool about going, yeah, I'll come to a bunch, you know,
so I think and I knew her. I knew her,
I knew we're a little bit as a through mutual
friends and um, through me, dude, No, not through you,
through Johnson Man. Actually, well, I've known Amy since road
Trip when I was doing Remember the Titan, she was
doing road Trip, and then I did Felicity and she

(40:49):
was on Felicity at the same time as I was,
and then she came and did Scrubs. So I'm pretty
sure at some point I there was and it might
have been Josh Rading but ye, but John was dating
Josh was dating Um at the time. Um her Amy's
best friend a woman named Debra, and uh, so I anyway,

(41:09):
I knew her a little bit, and uh, whatever happened happened,
and Uh, she's just great on the show. And I
thought it was very funny Bill, the setup you wrote
where you're setting up the saddest story ever, Like her
husband's in a coma, she's a she's been left all alone,
she's a young bride. It's so tragic, and that you're
like totally eating the audience down this down this hole.

(41:29):
And then it cuts to the classic Scrubs sexy turnaround
with the wind and everything was so funny. Yeah, I
think your voice are like Also, she happens to be
incredibly hot. Everybody calls her tasty Comma wife or something
like that. I remember getting a note on, uh, tasty
Comma wife of the I don't think it was a
huge one. But whoever covered the show from NBC thinking

(41:51):
that was too insensitive for not only thinking that was
too insensitive for everybody, you know, all my characters what
you like to call her that? But but us of
that note, Um, we wrote into the script that you
were the one, your character was the one that gave
her that nickname. Remember at the end, she's like, it's like,
do people call me tasty calm a wife? And you're like,
I don't know, she's like, I love it, and you're like,

(42:12):
I thought it up. So I met few people who
are listening. Bill would be interested to note that that,
you know, you gotta hit show because, as it says
on Scrubs Wiki, season two was our biggest season in
terms of viewership ever. And you're still getting minutia notes
like that from from a from a network. Yeah, but

(42:33):
you realized that. Yeah, But it's a good thing because
all it really means is when the show is doing well.
The people that work on the networks, they're there because
they love TV. That's why they're not in business, you know,
That's why they didn't go to, you know, into the
financial world. And so once the show has some heat
and buzz behind it, it's even more exciting to try

(42:54):
and contribute and give your two cents. And it's never malicious,
you know, wouldn't it be more interesting if they did this?
It wouldn't be cool if they did that. And then
as producers, you make the choice do we let everybody
feel the pride of ownership, which we like to do
on this show, or um, do you get jerky and
go hey, now that we have leverage, we don't those
in't anything you say, which I think is kind of

(43:15):
productive because then people aren't looking too And you know,
with us, especially with the Disney folks who gave us notes,
you know, we loved them feeling like they were part
of the creative part of the shop. Remember when we
did the musical and the president of Disney Studios, Mark Petalitz,
like rented a whole theater for us and had us
all go watch the musical on a big movie theater

(43:35):
and stuff. And that's because they felt like they were
all part of it, you know what I mean. And
you also you also become friends with people in time,
you know what I mean. I'm not gonna lie. I
have a bunch of friends, well a few, I shan't
say a bunch. I have a few friends that are
actual network executives, now you know what I mean. And work,
you guys would run into Julia friends who helped run
that run Disney Studios all the time, and she was

(43:56):
such a huge, you know, cheerleader for the show. I
remember all you guys having great relationships with it. It
makes such a difference when you have an executive who
really gets it and and campaigns for the show. Because
I feel like these are these decisions on your life
or death or just made in in conference rooms. I mean,
the numbers are looked at and judged, and I'm sure,

(44:17):
but but there's also like the when it's on the bubble,
the the how many people in the room were going, no,
trust me, just give it a chance, and and and
as opposed to people going ah and and if you're
it sounds like what you're saying is also that if
you're the show running, you're a dick and you're on
the bubble, people are like, you know, what funk that guy? No,
cancel it? You know it's it's it's interesting. I do

(44:38):
agree with that, you know, I think you have to
find that fine line of you know, standing up for
what you care about creatively and not capitulating. But also,
if people are invested in the show, why not, you know,
let them feel the private ownership of their working their
butts off on it. I will say, like for us,
there's an absolute direct correlation to the seventh year. I

(45:01):
didn't care when this show ended after we got through
six years as long as we knew, because I knew
how I wanted the show to end. In the seventh year,
the show almost ended without us being able to control
it because of the writer's strike. And I think it
was only because how the writers and how all you
guys reacted towards Disney our studio that when NBC said

(45:23):
writers strike and we're done, the ABC called up and said,
how do you guys like to switch to another network
and do your last season? And I that was one
of my favorite seasons of the show, season eight. So um,
I think that happened in part because we considered them
part of our team. You know what season was it
that we took so we are hiatus was so long
one time? No, it wasn't it was. It was almost

(45:46):
a year. Yeah, it was because season seven ended right
in the early part of the season and season eight
we decided to move it over to ABC, and uh,
there was a long gap before we started shooting. I
think it might have it might have been a full
calendar year. It was crazy. Yeah, I feel you reminded
me that I felt sad. I has a sad about

(46:09):
the sort of medieval Times episode we we did because
I put so much love and work in directing it,
and you put so much love and work into writing it,
and because of what was happening in the writer strike
that that would have been the series finale of Scrubs.
I feel like I was super underappreciated because man, that

(46:30):
was a expensive, slash artistic, slash fun episode to do,
and I didn't think it ever got any love. No,
it was. And remember NBC, because there was a strike
and they didn't care about anything other than bottom line
at that point, jig juggled the order of episodes to
air that last as if it was the season finality,

(46:51):
and it made no sense. Yeah, and a lot of
people are like, that's it, that's how you're ending the show,
and we're like, no, we didn't mean to please like it. Phil.
It was very upsetting as an homage to the Princess Bride. Man,
it's a great episode, just so cool. Oh man, I
love that episode. And no one ever talks about. Whenever
we like bring up conversations about what's your favorite episode,
they say the musical, they say the Brandon Frasier episode.

(47:14):
You know, all the standards, but no one ever ever
mentioned that episode. And I thought it was really good.
Um Um, could I say something? I want to We
almost skipped pasting this one is twenty one. I'm doing
a thing because it's a compliment to Donald. I loved
because we did a bunch of different versions over the years,

(47:35):
and Donald might not remember. Uh. When Laverne went Aloma
would kind of break into Donald's questions and he would say,
like you would say, like, we're only deal when people
are invited. In this one, he says, I checked the
guest list for this conversation, and you're not on it
in this one. That's it. I remember that. So this
is one. This is one. At the end, you made
a noise and I remember seeing that that and they

(47:58):
made me so because there's you're not an I don't
know what, but it was fantastic accepted and received. I
don't know where that came from. I watched it today
and I laughed my ass off at this. I noticed now,
But I noticed now at this point in the show,

(48:18):
I started getting really comfortable. You know what I mean.
If you're watching the show from the beginning when we started.
Like as much as as much as I like to
think that I knew about comedy when we started, I
feel like I was, out of everyone, the one who
had the hardest time picking up jokes. And the crazy

(48:40):
thing was you kept writing jokes for me, and sometimes
I would nail them and sometimes I wouldn't. But I'm
starting to notice as it's going on now I'm starting
to get comfortable with the character. And it's it doesn't
feel like like it sounded like it felt like before
that I was reading it or I was forcing it,
and now I'm just starting to relax. Yeah, but you're
you're you're just doing Yes, you can tell how naturalistic

(49:02):
you are now, but you're just harsh on yourself away
all performers do. You were always funny, dude. I love
that you put yourself under that critical eye, but it's
it's not true. But no. But also one thing I'll
say Bill is to use a sports term, is that
he is in the zone in this episode. There's there's
lots of little riffing. You're doing Donald, You're feeling confident.
I thought you were really good in this episode, the

(49:23):
both doing uh and the end when he's mad at
Ralphie when he says, you shut your mouth right now,
by the way, which is a surer. Right now, I
gotta interrupting. It's an interrupting Bill moment. While I'm here,

(49:46):
I don't know what the song is interrupted. Bill interrupted,
So for real. We would occasionally have recurred jokes over
the years that you were listening on the board. You
guys wouldn't recognize them because they're just tiny jokes that
we thought keep going. And one of Donald's was there
was four different times across the years that Donald told
Laverne that he, uh, unless she got an invitation, she

(50:09):
should sit down. He's seen the guest list, She's not
on it. He didn't. He did that to her so
many times, do you know? And it happened at the
the nine minute mark. What a weird reoccurring joke was
for you, Zack in reference to um calling yourself the boat,
do you know what the reoccurring joke is? The reoccurring

(50:29):
joke is that I, in my voiceover, I say that
I clearly wanted a cool nickname for myself and I'm
always auditioning them. The boat would be a cool nickname.
And then something and then something happens, and I'm like,
way to go boat. You have you go back and
watched this series. There's eight different times that you're trying

(50:50):
to have a nickname, whether it be a lion or
tiger or whatever, just catch hold, and it never does.
And one of the things they said at the beginning
of this series was j D should always wish he
had a nickname and never get one. That's funny. That's
very funny. That's funny. I didn't know. I didn't. I
didn't clock it as recurring. But I did laugh at

(51:10):
at at me calling my trying to get my own name.
It's funny because you can't get your own nickname, going
like no, yeah, if you try so many times. I
think sometimes Donald says to your someone says she, no
matter how bad you want it, no one's ever going
to call you big cat or call you Lyne or
something that's in a different episode. Um, I laughed. I
think I improved this bill when when Amy Smart says

(51:31):
you have something on your cheek and I go working
in a hospital, did you make it? Who made was that?
Adam or you? That made her lick you? I'm about
to say, where did that come from? No? That was script.
She wasn't the script. She's not randomly licking me. Well, No,
I think I think that it's like I'll get it

(51:53):
and she does something aggressive was there? But I think
that it was probably an actress or direct or choice
to go just lick it off. Yeah, I mean I
think is probably lick your thigh and to kiss it
or something. I I certainly wasn't being like to Amy
smart like what if you were to look I was,
I wasn't implying. I was not implying that you're doing.
Maybe instead of licking your finger and touch, you should

(52:15):
lick my face in this moment, Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy,
do you see on the sides, So it says she
licks her thumb. What if you just lick my face?
When Donald goes, when um Donald? When Judy says that
was there's something about sleep toots? And then you do

(52:36):
the sound of them? What's the sound you make? You do?
You do air first you go? I always had that.
I always wondered why do farts see it? Sound like
they're asking a question? It always well, I love it,

(53:02):
I love it. And then Nurse Roberts says, like I
make Mr Roberts where air tight boxers burnt? By the way,
and she is always contributing in your ship more than anybody's.
If she hears you talking to someone, she gets into it,
which really makes people. Let's talk about Elliott sabotaging her relationship.

(53:25):
She's finally got some joy. She's finally we in the
last episode, she finally said that she's happy, um, for
the first time in her life. Donald and I were
talking about the last episode how Elliott's sort of bopping
around in the rare like non neurotic mood, and now
she's already wanting to sabotage it because she she she's
I don't know that's what she does. Right, Well, look

(53:46):
this with this you'll find interesting because we this script
was easy to write because we come up with premises
ahead of time, right, and we thought, um, you know
it'd be cool is Donald and Judy carl in Turk
we set up because remember that kid had eaten a
ring and gotten paid. We knew we had to bring

(54:06):
it back. Donald paid him not to say anything, so
we knew that was gonna be a problem. Johnny c
you know Dr Cox and Jordan's you know, had to
have We didn't have a problem for Rick and h Elliott. Yeah,
but Dr Cox and Jordan were dealing with the kid.
And usually our episodes, everybody has to figure out how
to have a solution, you know, in you know, how
to get to the solution of their story. And this

(54:27):
one we said, you know'd be cool is we don't
ever have to do the solution if they're just all
having petty ship go on, And because j D is
so alone, he yells at them for not realizing that
they got it better than him, and that makes all
their problems go away. So you didn't even have to
do the story work at the end, you know what
I mean. So that's how we came up with the

(54:48):
way we came up with the Elliott and Nurse Flowers
things to go. What could she cause ship over just
because she's scared that she's starting to like the guy?
You know? Yeah? Yeah, it's clever the way you structured
this because it's j D, who's lonesome and single, who
wants more than anything to find love I mean jokingly.
The episode opens with him running drills on kissing because

(55:11):
it's been so long since he kissed anybody, and and
then seeing him seeing all these relationships in various stages,
in various you know, forms of of disarray, and then
it sort of bubbles up with the monologue at the
end where I just explode, like how the how the
fund did you? Guys don't realize how lucky you are

(55:32):
to be with someone well, because it's it's you almost
j D almost crosses a line though, you know what
I mean, He almost goes against the moral code. This
woman has a husband who's not in the ground yet
and still even though he's probably not gonna make it
through this, she uh, she needs to handle that first

(55:56):
and deal with all of that first before she goes
into a relationship. And she shows weakness and j D
almost pounces on it, you know what I mean. And
so I also think the blow up at the end
was you know, him realizing, holy sh it, I almost
went there, and these are right his it's his own

(56:18):
thing too. You're right, you're right, you're right. I never
even saw that. It's it's that's a good point down.
It's sort of his own, you know sometimes when like
you have your own conscience bubbling up and you don't
even know it. And he sort of explodes on everyone else.
Part of that monologue at the end, when he's just
berating everyone is his own frustration that he's got no
one and he's so alone and now all of a sudden,

(56:39):
here's this amazing woman who's so pretty and so into
him and so in on the joke and silly and funny,
and she's like his perfect dream girl, and and his
his conscience and his morals make him stop it. And
then they're all fighting, and he's like, you fuckers, don't
you realize how lucky you are to have someone I
don't think it was really good. Yeah, I wrote that down.

(57:00):
That's the It's an amazing blow up. Not only you're
acting at that moment, but also Okay, you do a
great job at it, and uh and and it's very
easy for the audience and our characters to have sympathy
for you after you have that moment, you know what
I mean. Um, but it's amazing how it was, how

(57:25):
it's presented. Also, it gets to a point where, you know,
the hero of our of our show almost becomes a villain,
and it's and stops himself from becoming that person, and
he's gonna you know, he's gonna trade. It comes up
again later on in the in the next You think
the audience would really think him as villainous? I mean,
wouldn't Yeah really, but don't you think there'd be a

(57:47):
certain percentage of the audience would be like, I get it,
I do it, I do it right. Well, that's the
dilemma I would you, would you or would you if somebody,
if somebody had somebody who was on the verge of
passing way but has not yet passed away, would you
let that person have the moment to grieve and and
move on or would you slide in at their weakest moment?

(58:09):
I think, But she asked him out and they're drinking.
I love this argument. This is the argument that writers
want you guys to have. You guys know that like
so much. So is transporting me back one of the
things we did in this show when we wrote it,
because Donald is correct in that, you know, we wanted
people to go and to not want Zach to do

(58:31):
this and did not want j D to do this.
And the way that we got there was we're so
lucky we have a show of fantasies and that the
actor was good and it wasn't my pitch. But someone's
like for us to really be down on j D
doing this, the coma husband has to speak and has
to be alive in the fantasies, and the fact that

(58:51):
he actually was Jiman and the guy was good, and
that you seemed and you've felt his you know, anguish
and anger made it because I think if that guy
had never spoken and was just a lifeless extra in
a bed, you would have been like, j D should
go for it. Man, That dude has been like that
for a year. But the second he's that was especially

(59:11):
when he hands you a chart, you know, when you
walk in the next day and you're like, you know,
so that you know your conscience is killing you. You know.
To me, that's what made that show work, and it
wasn't wasn't my idea, but we we argued over exactly
what Donald's talking about. Well, it is a real testament
I gonna say, it's a real testament to what you
what you as a writer are saying about j D's character,
because he's got this woman who's being the aggressor on him,

(59:35):
and they've had drinks and and she's like where are
we going? And he's like, I gotta stop this, and
but then he actually goes like, if you really want this,
I'll pick you up and run twelve miles with you
right now. But but I think it'd be best if
you waited, And she's like, I'll call you, and you know,
in his head he's like, fuck absolutely, you know, And

(59:58):
what makes what makes It's such a scrubs moment though,
at the end of the blow up, when everybody's feeling
down and out about themselves in walks Nurse Roberts and
there's something Remember how she used to lean forward when
you would do that too. We're gonna go to break.

(01:00:23):
We're gonna go to break. And then we have a
caller who's gonna be very excited that Uncle Bill is here.
We will be right back after someone talks to you,
and we're back, and we're back and we're back. Come.

(01:00:55):
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to
the nor do you get that all the time? Do
you get that all the time? Nor? Hi? How are you? Hi? Okay?
Do you get that all the time? Nor? No, no

(01:01:17):
one does that? And the one we're jogging, I have
no earbugs left. I don't think I've ever been introduced
like this ever in my entire life's ever seen? Have
you ever seen? Have you ever seen? Star trek to
the Wrath of Cohn. I'm not a starje yes, thank you,

(01:01:40):
thank you, I've got a start. I don't know a
star will I'm sorry. I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen. That
was morn North town. Oh god, oh my god, I
can't believe this. Nor it's so nice to meet you.
Welcome to the program. Oh, we have a very special

(01:02:00):
episode because we have a surprise guest, Bill Lawrence, the
creator of the whole darn things here, So you can't
ask anything. I have so much to ask you. But
before I get into that, I just want to I
have been watching you guys for so long. I have
I think watched the series start to finish over thirty
times U since where two thousand four. That's that's almost

(01:02:26):
that's almost thirty times more than Donald seen him. So um,
it's it's my happy place. It's my husband's cheap cord
to my mood. So like, if I'm in a bad mood,
like you know, I'm on my period, and you know,
usually you need to give women chocolate and wine. No,

(01:02:48):
you just need to put on an episode of Straps.
And I'm like, I hate it that he has, like
he knows this Achilles heel of mine. I hate it
so much. But he also uses it that he very
much ridiculous. I wish Donald wishes he could put on
Scrubs to calm down his wife when she's listen, she

(01:03:12):
don't even have to be on a paier. My wife
just don't like me. Man, I'm I'm now, I'm just convinced.
She'm guessing today, I'm guessing today hasn't been the best
quarantine day the past ever, since school went back, it's
been tough. Well, I'm sure there's a lot of I'm
sure there's a lot of parents out there that can relate. Donald,
who are who can empathize with you? You should know,

(01:03:36):
nor Donald pointed out while you were waiting that my
wife is essentially playing herself on the show, so so
so for me, I don't think. I don't I don't think.
I don't think popping on maybe exacted. Yeah, I don't
think popping on an episode, um, well character, and that's
how she's in your life. You just hit the jackpot,

(01:03:57):
my friend. You know you would think that. And it's
also very very scary. Uh, I mean, you know what,
you know what I always think, Bill, I think that,
and you've said a version of this, but I think
it's kind of I mean, this is maybe stupid to say,
but the universe kind of gives you who you need,
and you and Donald both have very tough Cristal I'll

(01:04:19):
give it capital t um wives. But they because you
guys have big personalities, they keep you in check and
sometimes that's very hard. But some wallflower who's gonna let
you do whatever you want is not gonna work for
for six months with you guys. I thought you were
saying that Donald I should be able to trade wives
and have it be cool with them. I thought that's

(01:04:40):
where you're going, Well, that's something you guys can work out,
because I don't think it would be cool with Christal.
I think it'd be cool with Krista, but not for me,
just for her. She's so in love with Donald. It's
so upsetting. Case it will be all right when a
case would be like, well we get a pool, Crystal, Yeah,

(01:05:02):
case you'd be like, case you'd be like, I'll make
out a bill for a pool. Listen, I gotta tell
you that Kristen. Kristen does this thing that's so awkward
where we're we're in front of Bill and we're hugging,
and you know, I give a standard hey, good to
see you hug and she's like, and Bill standing right
there and she's like, m don't, don't, don't, don't let
it go. So it's so awkward and she's doing it

(01:05:26):
just to funk with Bill and I'm sitting there with
like a red face. Don't okay, Crystal, let go. I
don't like it. I don't like it. Nor where are
you going from? I'm calling from India, girl friend, all
the way from India, baby. This podcast is truly global.

(01:05:47):
Donald did able to get a mug. No, I actually
haven't gone around to ordering it yet. Also, stuff is
not coming in from the US right now. They're okay
whatever to reach us, So I'm just waiting for ship
to get up. I have to say. I have to
say on the merge front, this is a slight diggression.

(01:06:08):
When MacDonald and I started this podcast, Um, the people
I heard said to us, and we were Donald and
I don't know podcast that much. I've listened to a few.
He's listening to none. And we said, um, they said,
just you know, podcast listeners really like you know, some
basic merch a T shirt or a mug, because you're
you're building a community and it's sort of a club
and people like that stuff. And so Donald and I said, okay,

(01:06:29):
well we'll make merch. That's cool. You know. We we
were never in a rock band. Well, that'll be fun
for us. So it's taking a long time to get
it up. It's and and uh and on the podcast,
we've joked about all these funny merch ideas. We put
up a mug and a mask and they were gone
within like three hours. And Donald I have now been
texting like, we need to take this shilling more seriously

(01:06:51):
because people are not fucking around with fucking merch. They
want their merch. Donald, there is a lot you guys
can do much twise. And I would just like, if
I knew this was going to happen, I'd get like,
you know, sha bother faces on it or something printed
before like I got on this call, but like you
look great. You look right just when I got when

(01:07:15):
I got the meal, and I was like, oh shoot,
I need to sound looking like a human being again.
Just texted me that, just texted me. It's almost one
o'clock at night. Nor just texted me that the only
merch she wants is a five six seven eight Bill
Lawrence thing, which I think is very nice to have said. Hey,
by the way, I promise we promised Nor a coffee

(01:07:37):
mug that she doesn't have to order a coffee mug
zact that we're gonna send me stop anybody, if anybody
would like a coffee mug. All you gotta do. You
don't have to pay for him. All you gotta do
what I'm not supposed to know. He's right, listen, if
you're from here on out, from here on out, Bill Lawrence.

(01:07:57):
Bill Lawrence brought up a great incentive for making it
onto the show. Yeah mug, I think you get a
mug da And I'm loving that it's starting with me,
So I'm going to be expecting that Joel. I see
Joel's signed not forgiving rare mug, but trying, trying, trying
to get a mug to India. I see Juell holding

(01:08:18):
your head like, how the funk am I going to
India right now? And by the way, by the way,
I think it should be a rule, no matter where
you're calling from, if you don't get that mug within
a week, then you get a second mug. And what wait,
I love your name. You know it doesn't work. It's

(01:08:40):
not gonna work with Daniel and freaking Joel and I
hold on no, no, no, and then and then used
to finish my finished, then finished the mug Zach and
then gave you like a five or a six or
seven eight mug No no, no, no, no, no, no
no no, turn it off. Dan. Right, he thinks he

(01:09:05):
can take control over the show. Dan, I'm going to
need the ability. I'm gonna need the ability to be
able to mute Bill. Are we sharing your name correct? Nor? Yes,
you're saying it all right? Nor? What do you do
what she does there? What do you do there in

(01:09:27):
Indian North? She collects mugs from fake doctors. Well that's
a bit of a loaded question, but like the short
version of that is, I have been a wedding plan
of eight years. Uh, and I just recently, as like
four weeks ago, stepped out of my company, gave the
whole thing to my partner because I am going to

(01:09:48):
be a sustainable farmer. Oh that's oh my god. It's
like the documentary did you watch The Biggest Little Farm? Yes?
We h So my husband and I have always wanted
to retire on a farm and do that whole thing. Uh.
And then this, this whole COVID situation has just kind
of been like why are we waiting? You know? Good

(01:10:12):
for you? What are you going for you? What are
you gonna gonna what are you gonna what? What crop
are you going to farm? We're actually going to do
uparma culture, which is kind of an ecosystem of like
different kinds of things together. Uh. And we're also going
to live on on the farm away from the city
so that I don't have to deal Um. So yeah, no,

(01:10:35):
nor I missed. I missed. If you said that you've
seen this documentary, The Biggest Little Farm, yes we have.
I love that documentary so much and if you if
you're listening and you haven't seen it, please check it out.
It's it's about a couple that that does a version
of what Nora is saying, where they create a sustainable farm,
and it's so moving and amazing and I really loved it. Yeah,

(01:10:56):
And it was just I think, and my husband and
I were in came together with like his family and everything,
and we were just and Bombay is a very loud
city and during like the whole thing was so quiet
and was like we were just like, oh my god,
this is amazing. Why don't we have this for our
whole lives? And and that's when the conversation started, like
you know, you really want to wait ten years and

(01:11:17):
then start and you wanted to do it now, and
I was like, why not? Oh well, I wish you
the best of luck. That would be so awesome. Bill.
Do you think you and Kristen might also start a
sustainable farm? Yeah, necessarily think that's in the cards for us.
But man, man, man, do I think that's super with
the with the sustainable farm, still like a luxury four

(01:11:39):
seasons resort? Is that part of it? Yeah? Bill, you can.
You can build a four seasons resort on the farm.
That's really cool. That is so cool. Nor, go ahead
if you have a question. We were ready to answer,
so I have a few, so you can stop me
whenever you guys are done answering. Well, the way we
get ahead it so I'm gonna start with Bill, just

(01:12:01):
because he's the brains behind the operation. Well, no, thank you,
thank you so much for enjoying my podcast. It's really cool.
I enjoy your podcast. But think I was talking. I
totally I totally imagine that. I totally imagine that in
season three of this podcast, Donald, I our guests. You guys, Hey,

(01:12:24):
as long as you guys tell me you can come
on whatever you want. Just let me know what's going
on what's here? So, so if we were to pick
up the show today, um X number of years after
it has gone off yet, and we had to pick
up from where the boys are today and the whole
class is today, But where do you see the show going.

(01:12:46):
Do you think that they'll still be at Sacred Art
or do you think that Jade and Turf would go
into private practice together? Where do you see like the
whole show going? Like, just because there was so much
towards the end of season eight, I don't consider season
nine in actual season instead whatever whatever that was, there

(01:13:08):
was only one nor. There was only one main difference
was recalling a major differences hold up you or both
you and Bill were gone, so the magic was gone,
the Magic dream Team. I'm answering NER's question because I
want to hear Donald Zack's answer to this. So, No,

(01:13:30):
we were talking a lot because everybody always asked Donald
Zack and me if we're ever going to reboot the show.
And what's really interesting is we've always had opportunities. But
everybody on this show a works constantly because they're also
super talented and be we see each other on our
own because we love each other. So you know, we
haven't always been driven to do. Even for me getting

(01:13:51):
to come on this show on Zack and Donald's podcast, Yes,
it's theirs. For me, it's such a co opportunity to
see two guys I love so Uh. Only recently we've
been starting talking about that and thinking about what it
would be and with the writers, here's the question for
you guys. I think that we think Zach and j
D and Turk would always be close, and we think

(01:14:11):
that they would always be of service and that those
two were doctors for life. But the one thing that
we always got caught up on is when you watch
the finale of season eight and Zack's voice j D's
voice over says, uh, and who's to say that all
these things wouldn't come true just this once? You know?
And then as writers we fight. Does that mean that
they all came true? Or does that mean that j

(01:14:33):
D is hoping they came true? So that's where we
always start. What do you guys think because we always
started to go, like we rebooted this, does that mean
that j D and Donald's kids ultimately are going to
end up together and married like they do in the show.
Does that mean that those things actually happened, you know,
you know, so uh so I would because to me,
that's the trap. Do you think, Zach, do you think

(01:14:54):
that those things that we were showing in the finale
were real? Or do you think they were your dreams? Um,
that's a question I never been asked, and I'm semi
embarrassed to admit that it gave me goose bumps on
my arm. But I don't hold anything back from your listeners. Um,
I've never been asked that question, Bill, and it's a
great question. And I as as as as you were

(01:15:15):
talking about it, I kind of answered it automatically and said, no,
that was j D's fantasy of how great life could be.
And then I started thinking, and then I started thinking, like,
if you brought it back, it might be interesting to
show that things had not gone that way at all.
And in fact, he's um, they they've all been separated,

(01:15:37):
and they were you know, you know, on this podcast
a lot we talked about how we're all living life
and and COVID aside happy people and doing the best
that we can, but we always talked about how we
missed the community of this wonderful thing that happened to us.
For nearly a decade, and it made me think that
it might be interesting that the characters aren't together. They

(01:16:00):
don't have that special bond and there is some reason
that has to bring them together, and and and joy
and and community come out of bringing them back together.
It's always what's messed us up? Broke? You go, Donald,
I I agree with you, Zach. I think I think
you're right. I think I think that's a better story.
Jony Loves Chachi didn't go that long, you know what
I mean? That happy ending of of the kids being

(01:16:25):
the next generation of Turk and j D. But it's
a love it's the love story that you know, Turke
and j D's love story is a great love story,
but this is the actual love story where you know
their children are together. I think that's too happy. And
where do they fucking hate each other? That would be fine,

(01:16:49):
I think, I know. See. No, that's the problem is
that I feel like, you know, people wanted when j
D says, who's to say my fantasies couldn't come true? Justice?
Once that, you want to believe that next Christmas they
were all together, you know, and that they stayed friends.
And I think people would be really not happy in
a in a bad way. If we came up on

(01:17:10):
a world that they were no longer in each other's lives.
So I think that's the immediately, let me clarify what
I meant. Then I'm saying j D and Turk are
still tight, their kids just don't get along. You know
what I mean? Well, I was, I was saying that

(01:17:30):
we can be tight but separated, you know. Um, And
I think, Bill, you know this, Bill, you know this
better than anything. The audience will often say something two
things at once. I remember when I when we screen
tested Garden State. They were at the very end. We
had a focus group about twenty people. No you weren't

(01:17:50):
at this one, and they said, uh um, they said,
how many of you this is random strangers? And they said,
how many of you feel like the ending was a
little to pat? You know, the two lovers get together
in the airport. And I would say like seventy five
percent of the hands went up and they said, okay, um, honn,
how many of you want them to be together? Every

(01:18:11):
single hand went up. So as the writer, you're trying
and writer director, you're trying to balance, like you obviously
you want to you want to make the audience happy,
but you you also want to subvert what they think
they want a little bit, you know what I mean? Bill,
you can speak to that because this, well, look, I'm
as proud of the writing and directing I did on
Garden State as I am of my podcast. Do you

(01:18:35):
want to know? I want to know. I want to know.
There another funny story, just just while I'm on the subject.
So this is the this is the story that's a
total tangent. But in that same test screening, Now, when
when you when you test screen a movie in your director,
you have to go because you have to see where
the audience is laughing, where they're board all everything like that. Now,
you would never invite an actor who's in the movie
to the test screen because there's gonna be a focus

(01:18:56):
group aft and you never know what they're gonna say.
They might say they don't like that actor. You would
never subject an actor to that. But as a reading director,
you have to be there. So there's a focus group
in the front row of the movie theater, twenty people
lined up. I'm six rows back with my baseball hat down.
I don't want to spoil the sampling and have them
know that I'm there, and a girl raises her hand
and the moderator calls on on her and she goes, look,

(01:19:18):
kudos to Zach Braff for pulling this off. I just
don't find him attractive. And I'm sitting there. I'm sitting
there like fighting my fist, like this is the most
all the producers were in the in the road with me.

(01:19:39):
They all look over at me like, oh, ship, how
did that feel? And I'm like, not great. I'm gonna
that that right there is a hater, that's all that is. Look. Look,
she started the ship off with kudos to Zach Braff
pulling this off, meaning this ship is fired, dude, this

(01:20:00):
ship is fire. But he's an ugly dude. Bullshit, dude.
You know what's funny though, this is I'm just thinking
this out loud in real time. But this is before
like social media went crazy, and this was sort of
a live anonymous troll because she doesn't know I'm in
the room and she's anonymously trooling me to the moderator.

(01:20:23):
But I have to be there because I'm the director
of the fucking movie. Whatever, how do you guys fix
that in the movie? How do you fix it? There's
got more questions. First of all, I want to say,
you're such a fucking dick egg and be and be.

(01:20:48):
We spent a hundred graund and lessened my nose. We
brought my We brought my nose. I thought it was
the green screen mat. Yeah, we we we we We
shot some angle is where my nose looks too big
and we wanted to please that one fucking woman. All right, sorry, no, no,
I'm sorry, no problem, okay, Zach. My next question is

(01:21:10):
for you, um finally, So you've done a lot of
like platfalls and and a lot of like funny falls
throughout the lnge time of the show. Which is your
favorite to shoot and which is the one that you
thought came out best on screen? That's a good qument,
that's a good question. I'm gonna cheat a little nore
um okay. And and I mean, can I can the

(01:21:32):
scooter one on the Wizard of Oz? Count Bill, I'll
let you judge. Yes, yes, just just don't say the
string line one where you end up in the garbage stuff.
You've said it like two many times on this podcast.
You know why nor because that I don't know if
you know this, but Zack directed that one do you
know this you don't even want to podcast religiously? And Nor,

(01:22:04):
Oh my god, Nor, you're very funny, first of all,
and I love the fact that you're you're such an
avid listener that you're like, please don't say the one
where you zip line because I've heard it not But
I mean, we're gonna be so funny when we get
deeper into this this series, because we're only on season
two and she's one point five and people are already like,
please don't tell that story. I can't wait for that

(01:22:26):
episode anyway. Anyway, Nor, I do love that episode. But
I have to say the funniest it's technically not a pratfall,
I guess, but probably the funniest in Scrubs history. It's
what Bill always called our most expensive joke in the
history of Scrubs is when the scooter goes into the
endless puddle in the Wizard of Oz episode, where where

(01:22:49):
I clearly run into Julian the underground manateee who doesn't
exchange pleasantries um because um it involved digging two very
deep holes. They were very expensive to build because the
city demanded they'd be built to code for safety. Because
you can't just throw people in a hole that could collapse.

(01:23:10):
And uh. And as a director of the episode, Uh,
we came up with the idea that it would be
a wonner, which means we did this elaborate thing where
the stunt man is riding the scooter with his with
his helmet on into the first puddle. Um, the camera
keeps panning. They weren't really connected underground obviously, but it
compands to the second pile where I was hiding out underwater.

(01:23:33):
Um and and and and then one of the one
of the crew members, with a hammer as hard as
he could, banged on the asphalt so I could hear
it underground, which meant to pop up um because the
camera was on me. And Uh. It was very elaborate,
and I still think one of the funniest gags we
did on Scrubs. Bill, you might want to talk about it.

(01:23:54):
That is so funny though, because Manatee seemed like the
happiest creatures in the the fact that the fact that
he wouldn't return pleasant tries, is it what a bit funnier?
He was rude? Wait, but Bill, talk about that from

(01:24:16):
the writer's room, because there's no way when you guys
thought of that, you could have possibly thought it was
going to come out as funny as it did, because
I think when we thought of it, the most fun
was Randall Winston, who's been on the show and is
you know, it's the closest thing I have to a
life partner besides my wife. He is the line producer
in charge of the budget. And he came to us
with the first estimates of how much cost Yes, yes,

(01:24:39):
look at you and uh he uh came to us
the first estimates of how much that joke cost, and
he said he said it to me in a way
that he obviously felt so unfortunately we won't do it.
And in my head I was like, yeah, it feels
like we should still go for it. And that was
only that was only a product of youth, because now

(01:25:00):
I think I would look at it and go, oh man,
we could have I guess, I don't know, purchased a
small home to give to somebody to live in for
the price of a joke, you know, But that's that's
movie and TV production, is Zack. I want to give
you props because Nora asked one of my favorite falls
of all time. I randomly saw it when I was
searching for this episode. Do you remember what you did

(01:25:21):
when you were singing a song you made up, going
I'm feeling so good today. You know at that they'll
feel good, but nobody it's all so My favorite is
that Zack decided to click his heels and because that's
very hard to do, and then fall flat on his
face and get back up. And I've never seen that
was in a wonder as well, and it looks so

(01:25:42):
incredibly painful and it's so well done. I would vote
for that as well. I want you listeners to know
that I will do I would do anything to make
you guys laugh. I still go to the chiropractor as
often as I can, just because of all those years.
Thank you, so I I do it all for my fans.
Nor you gotta bring you gotta bring a question Donald's way.
Now I'm gonna be honest with you. My favorite pratfall

(01:26:06):
is the one from the episode that Zack directed. I
hate to take because of what the dude does. It's
a stunt man that does it, but after he hits
the wall and how he shakes like a fish in
the air is one of the funniest things I've ever
I remember when he did it and laughed. I was
there the night that happened, and I remember laughing when

(01:26:26):
it happened, and then seeing it on camera and laughing
it again at it again. So that's that directed that,
by the way, I do have to simultaneously give a
shout out to to the many stuff man that that
the several stuff man that did it over the years,
because there were certain things I I definitely couldn't do

(01:26:46):
or wasn't allowed to do, and um, and these guys
were hilarious and Donald Donald was right. I was not
allowed to zip line into the wall and line but
you didn't zip line into zip line. I wasn't allowed
to nail the wall. What you also weren't allowed to
drive an actual scooter that had to be weighted down
with lead so that you would stay underwater in the

(01:27:09):
first puddle while we went over to the next puddle
and you came up. Think about that that stuntman had
to hold his breath for the whole shot, for that
whole shot, Yeah, because he had to go under with
the scooter and stay under No, well, technically, Bill, we
panned off of him and then he could, yeah, but
not right away. Zach, not right away. But I have
to say not to toot my own director horn, but
how many directors are directing from underwater in a puddle

(01:27:31):
where you can only here with a hammer on asphalts?
All right, all right, nor um um, sure we have another?
Should we give her one more? I have what I
have one more question? This one is predominant because I've
always wondered this at what, like I said of wort
Up so many times, and I wanted to get perspective
on this. Do you wish that your character had a

(01:27:54):
longer run as a single on the show instead of
getting into a committed relationship right off the Yes, yes, yes, yes,
for you so much. Yes, um, you know I love
I love that Donald has tiptoed around it. And Nora
is just like, come on, buddy, be on, come on.

(01:28:17):
Is a beautiful woman. And the connection that she and
I have, the chemistry that she and I have is
by far the best chemistry I've ever had with any
female on on screen, by far. I can, I can
go down the list, and nobody has ever been on
the level that Judy and I were on Uh, Comma, comma, comma.

(01:28:43):
I do, however, wish that Turk was a single for
a little bit by the one and to at least
season one and two, it was a proct No, I
believe it was a product of youth. And I'll say
all the same caveats because Judy is so good on
the show and so funny and talented. But I remember,

(01:29:04):
and I might be making this up in my head,
but I remember as writers telling Judy early on that
Turk and Carla we're gonna be together for the run
of the show, and her being like, Oh, that's gonna
be cool to have a steady relationship, to be the
ones that ground it, to explore what that means, to meet,
get married, stay together, have children, to follow that whole arc.
And Donald, who was a young man at the time,

(01:29:25):
I do remember kind of telling you that and you're
being like, h really, as Amy Smart walks by, like morning,
Donald was funny? Um? All right? Now, Now, now you
know we have this new segment, since you're an avid

(01:29:47):
fan of the podcast, where uh and Bill is going
to join us for the first time for a new
segment called fix your Life. Nor It's time to fix
your life? All right? Nor? How can we fix your life? Bigger? Small?
We're gonna do it right now. You don't need to
pay for a therapist. You don't need to pay for

(01:30:07):
a handy man. We got it. Okay. My cat utterly
scratches me a lot for no reason, especially at night,
especial if I haven't fall asleep by his bedtime. How
they get him stop doing that? Okay, I can tell
you this one real quick. All right, this is this
is this is been a great episode to fix your life.

(01:30:27):
You're welcome. Nor as someone is not a cat person
and it's allergic to cats, just get rid of the
cat u Nor. I don't know too much about cats.
I gotta be honest. I'm more of a dog person,
and i've I've I've raised a couple of puppies now,
so I have some experience with puppies. I do know.

(01:30:48):
Have you tried now with with puppies. There's a canned
air thing that they hate. If you do that canned
air noise, They're like, I will never do what you
what I just did again if you just promise not
to make that can so I would try canned air.
Another thing is a water gun. Um you can sometimes
I don't. Most most pets do not like getting blasted

(01:31:08):
with the water gun to the face. Also, there's uh,
I mean, we've we've made jokes about everything on Scrubs,
but there's also this one episode that we did in
which Zach goes down a zip line and I think
he directed that one. That because now I'm going to

(01:31:30):
be really in my head about about mentioning that episode.
I mean, I love it, I love it. My only
thing is that I just didn't want you to say
that that was your best. Okay, yeah, exactly. I truly
believe that if you want to make it so the
cat stop scratching you, you gotta get rid of that cat.

(01:31:58):
Donald is joking on behalf of pet lovers everywhere. You're
gonna keep that cat, and you're going to tame him.
You're going to tame him and yeah, he's awesome. So
trying try the pet corrector and or a water gun
and uh, And I guarantee you that we have just
fixed your life. You're welcome. You're welcome, alright. Nor, it's

(01:32:20):
been an extraordinarily long segment because you've been so darn charming.
We thank you so much for coming on the show.
Nor come back and report on your life. I think
what you're doing is so cool and interesting and um,
I bet you these guys would love to hear it.
And if you do, it is free mugs for your
whole family. And oh my god, I have fifty nine

(01:32:43):
people in my family. Just I understand. I understand Nor Nor.
In a year and a half, when the mug that
Joel is gonna put in the mail tomorrow, I hope
you enjoying your mug. Zac. That mug is gonna arrive

(01:33:04):
with like seventeen thousand absentee ballots in one year from now.
Because it's a little true, all right. I just want
to say, do you want to thank you so much?
If there was no COVID, I would can see you
on the mouth because I love you so much making
this happened. I got you well getting propositioned. Thank you,

(01:33:27):
Thank you. I ain't gonna I love you guys so much,
and give it up for North. What a great movie.
By the way, that's the that's the best. Uh. That
is the best guest, at least in the ones I've

(01:33:49):
been on here for that I gotten to be a
part of. They're all so awesome that she was amazing
by the way she she not only was she just fun.
But she knew the show so well that she was
like she was like saying, please don't reference that episode
yet again, which which episode, you guys. It was a

(01:34:12):
very special episode for me because I don't know if
you know this, but it was the first time I
got to direct. Um. All right, um, hey, Bill, I
know that you don't control the movement of the background.
That's up to the assistant directors. But I just wanted
you to know that in serving as the pharmacists, he's
the he's behind the pharmacists counter being the pharmacist. And

(01:34:33):
I don't recall hearing the Beard was the pharmacist. No, no, no,
we did. We did. I mean we cut it, but
we did some things that he had to cover for
the pharmacist. We didn't that Just the one that made
me the saddest was I think I went back and
watched some guy mopping the air because of you guys,
really upset man. And also Bill beard Fusse was also
a patient. Reason like Beard Fusse was like the go

(01:34:54):
to for the E d s to be like, uh,
it's funny that the guy was a patient Beard Fas say,
And now I I was drawn to the background going, Hey,
Jeff Stevenson is not the pharmacists guys. Okay, he's Dr
beard Face. And as you know, by the way, didn't
ever did anybody did give you pause that his name

(01:35:17):
was beard to say, which he's a smart guy, he
would read it his beard face, and yet he still
chose to have such a big beard. I just think, well,
you're gonna shave it after you gave him a character. Dude,
you're if in real life your name was beard Face,
I would think that you would be very careful about
not having a beard. That's what always confused me about

(01:35:38):
that character. Um, I have to say one of the
hardest I've left in a couple episodes. I don't know
if I'm just giddy tonight or what, but when Ralphie
pukes in the elevator on Kelso and all you hear
is Kelso coo, good god, the oh you want to know?

(01:36:00):
You want to know a joke piece of trivia, This
will so And it's the last little show reference I
had other than I thought you. By the way, we
always give props to Sarah was great in this, Judy,
Johnny C. Christop, but I really did think Donald Zack
was fun to come on here for this one, because
you Tube both slayed it comedically in this episode. I
really thought so. Um and since I still since I
need your approval no matter how old I get. UM,

(01:36:23):
that means a lot to me. I mean, it's sincerely.
You guys were both funny as as all get out. Uh,
the last bit of trivias. So comedy writers always get
stuck when they think they're stealing jokes from from themselves
or jokes that they've written before. And there was one
um in this show that because or a rowdy exists

(01:36:44):
because I saw somebody had a dead stuffed dog when
I was younger. I had also written about a dead
animal joke on Spin City, which was Richard Kind's character says,
because they're going to a morgue to try and get
a dead cat because for some weird episode and he

(01:37:05):
he he says, Uh, turns out, um, you know it's weird.
I went there and we got it. We put in
the car and sneeze. It all turns out I'm not
allergic to dead cats. And then Mike Fox says, well,
the Mike Fox says, well, then you should definitely get one,
and uh, and then on this show we then decided
we thought about it for a long time. That Amy Smart,

(01:37:25):
do you know the joke I'm talking about Zack that?
She says, Perhaps you remember I came finished the story.
The joke doesn't get paid off because Casey's there, forget it.
Casey carbs in the building the joke, and this one
is Amy Smart says, perhaps he smells my dead dog.
So we're also living in a word. You're back, bring
it back. I care more about cut that out, cut
that out. Thunder supplause, Dan thundersupplause, Ladies and gentlemen. I

(01:37:51):
want you to finally meet the Casey com right. Hi guys, Hi, Hi,
case is so good to see you. My wife's gonna
be so jealous. I gets say hi do you and
she didn't? Oh my god, please give her a big hug.
Will I will? This is what a mom slash housekeeper
slash teacher slash everything looks like? We are you? You

(01:38:15):
look stunning? Are you? Are you? Are you happy that
school started? Or is it more and more and more
and more and more work. I'm happy it started because
the kids are excited to see their friends and their
new teachers. But I mean, I just came up here
to pee, and this is the first time I've pissed since.

(01:38:38):
And I have my pajamas on, and Bell was saying
we should wife swap. Oh my god, what if Krista
could come into this house and and set this one straight? Does?

(01:39:02):
Donald said he was the first we've had. Donald said,
you're gonna make the decision based on having a pool
over here. He's like, she's gonna be like, there's a
pool over there. I've hit over for a few days.
They'll never get rid of me. I will do anything. WHOA, Alright, well,

(01:39:25):
this is what a joke to you by my Lanta.
All Right, I just wanted to say, hi, I'm being summoned.
I'm sure, Okay, we love you. We love you. So
nice to finally see you, guys. I know I'm excited.

(01:39:49):
I think she probably gets listen to the podcast. Ever
I listened. I listened because you know what, Donald likes
to listen to it and make his edits on the
loudest volume possible in room of the house where we're
all sitting. Week casey. I don't listen to it all
the time either, but I'm gonna listen to the this
section of this one over and over and over. I

(01:40:19):
think it's good that you. I think it's good that
you specified that's Joel and that's Daniel, because um, we're
almost She had no idea what their names were. That's
why I said that because she does not watch, she
does not listen to the podcast, and she has not
ever seen an episode of Scrubs. I played an episode

(01:40:39):
of Scrubs once for her and she got teary eyed
at the end. She was like, Scrubs is like this.
If I would have known this, I would have been
watching all these years. Oh my god. Um. I wanted
to say that I really related to the idea of
the end monologue in this, about the idea of feeling

(01:41:01):
alone even at times when there's a ton of people around.
I thought that was a moving bill, and I think
that there's a lot of people who can who are listening,
who can probably relate to that. Sometimes you're surrounded by
people and you still feel super alone and and and lonesome,
and you're like, what's wrong with me? And and I
think you articulated well, especially with the the visual effect,

(01:41:23):
just sort of a call back to the pilot um
that Adam Bernstein directed as well, with people moving all
around j D and he's just they're feeling so lonesome,
and um, I just thought, I don't know it, just
thought it struck me this time is as an emotion
and a feeling that a lot of people can probably
relate to and think that they were the only one
feeling it. Well, look, man, you you hit on two things.

(01:41:45):
One is always I'm glad you gave a shout out
to Adam Bernstein because he helped create the look of
the show, and he intentionally wanted to do a throwback
to the pilot where where the pilot you were overwhelmed
and off on your own and the world was zipping
around around you, and this one you're lonely even though
you're comfortable in that world and all those people are
around you, and he intentionally pitched that to do it,

(01:42:07):
you know, kind of the same thing twice in a
way that I thought was really cool. But more I
was struck by the emotion of this episode, not in
terms of being a couple, but in terms of we
often talk about in the world right now, but you know,
empathy is a big thing, okay, And one of the
things that comedy writers will often talk about is joking around.

(01:42:30):
We call it don't know how good you got it disease,
you know, which is Hey, if you have a job,
every job, even being a comedy writer, which is ultimately
the greatest gig in the world and I would do
it for free. Um, you still sometimes have crazy hours
and tough situations, and you'll find yourself with your co
workers complaining and saying like, oh, this part of this

(01:42:50):
job sucks, this part's annoying, this part sucks. But then
you don't ever take a moment to go holy crap,
especially right now. There's a lot of comedy writers that
we get to keep working, you know what I mean,
because we're writing shows and trying to get ready in
case the world ever opens up again, and you don't
always take the time to be empathetic towards the people
that don't have it as good as you, you know,

(01:43:11):
And that's not only true when it comes to having
found the person you're meant to be with, but right
now in the world, man, I don't know why this
episode touched me so much. I feel like if people
could be a little more empathetic as to what other
folks are going through out there, that things would be
just a lot clearer and a lot more simple, you know,

(01:43:31):
And uh, that's why I don't. I rarely get choked
up at these episodes, but I got choked up at
this one because you know, what I was hearing j
D say was you fuckers are so caught up in
your own pettiness right now. You're not really thinking about
how hard it is for other people. And you guys
do that all the time on this show and empathize

(01:43:52):
and think about what's going on with them. So it
really touched me. Yeah, and I just want to see.
The last thing is that, you know, I think this
is one of the only times I explained spiking the
lens to UM to the audience about how you know,
it's usually unless it's done on purpose, like Ferris Bueller's
Day Off where the characters talking to you, it's usually
something that's edited around because you know, we say there's

(01:44:15):
this invisible fourth wall that's the camera, and we don't
we we don't look into the lens because that's the
invisible fourth wall. Um. This, I believe is one of
the only times where you put me looking directly at
the audience. And I remember shooting this. I was I
watched it, and I remember, like, you know, we did
a bunch of takes where I didn't look I just
kind of looked off sad, and then I think I

(01:44:37):
said to Adam, like, let me just do one just
for the funk of it, where I just looked directly
in the lens, And I was so happy you chose it, Bill,
because I it almost felt to me like at this
point in the run of the show, at to eighteen
of the show, it almost I don't know, I'm maybe
I'm reading too much into it, but my interpretation was like,
I'm checking in with you, the audience. I've been telling

(01:44:59):
you this story for a season and eight plus eighteen episodes,
and I'm really fucking lonesome right now, and I'm doing
the best that I can. I can't do this all
on my own, quote unquote, but I'm I'm I'm looking
at you. I don't know, and you never did it.
I don't think we ever again. But I thought it
was very I thought it was very moving, and it's
me so it's bizarre, but I but I was a

(01:45:21):
bit caught off guard by because it's not a technique
you ever did again. We ever did again. No, it
was supposed to be you're all like me, because I
think the world is filled of I think it's very
hard to be a single person, uh, and around married
couples and happy couples that are bitching and moaning about

(01:45:41):
whatever trivial thing is making their great couple nous hard,
you know what I mean. And so it was definitely
an effort to say you're all. The other time we
did it, you guys might not remember, is the dumbest
joke ever, because we talked about spiking the lens. Was
we did an episode in which you said, it doesn't
really matter ter what you think. I'm really interested in

(01:46:01):
what America and you look directly at the cat camera,
and then we revealed a tailor on the other side
at the time guy that says it's not America, that's America. Yeah, yeah,
but yes, you are correct. By the way, it's funny
that um Donald and I always referenced Beverly Hills Cop
and uh, there's a there's a handful of times when

(01:46:26):
any Murphy looks directly in the lens, like are you
seeing this ship? And I think that in Beverly Hills
cop trading places. Yeah, I'd about to say it's not
Beverly Hills Cop is creating places. When the Mortimers say
to him, uh, it's pork bellies, which is used to
make bacon, which you might find in a bacon, lettuce
and tomato sandwich. Looked camel like. He looks like, what

(01:46:53):
doesn't he do it in Beverly Hills Cop or no, no, no, no.
Beverly Hills Cop is very much straight. He never breaks
the the fourth wall. In My favorite thing in the
world is in whenever you see a show or a
movie that has a kid that is six or under,
you just should go back and watch the scene to
see how many times they stare directly at the cameras

(01:47:15):
they can't. Oh man. Ralphie at one point says the
line that Cox is saying. He's saying it at the
exact same day he's mouthing the lines when you see
when you reveal him, it's it's yeah, it's you, Yeah,
it's kids. In fact, someone told me, someone wrote on
my social media. They wrote, Zack, ever since you've you

(01:47:36):
you describe spiking the lens to me, you've ruined the
Grassy High for me, Because they said the teen extras
are the team background performers are doing it nonstyle. You know,
you want to see something really funny. One of the
biggest stars in the world right now is Will Smith.
Right watch the first season of The Fresh Prince of
bel Air. He's mouthing everyone's lines. See him doing it.

(01:47:59):
You see him saying everyone's lines while they're making the show.
So you know, and if you go back and watch that,
see if you can find Christa Miller playing a girl
that Will Smith hits on and dances with. I can't wait.
I'm going to look for that right now, as soon
as as soon as this episode is done, I'm going
to look and see when Will Smith a lot of things.

(01:48:22):
I think it is done. Donald, we we've done it.
We've we've we've celebrated this really good episode. And I'm
so glad you were here, Bill, because um, it wasn't
just your average episode. It was a particularly good one.
I think, Well, it means a lot to me to
see YouTube, but to see Daniel and Joel, who I
come to enjoy spending time with, and I make all

(01:48:43):
my stupid jokes because I wish that this was my podcast,
because I enjoy it and I listened to it. My
giant earphones at night every Tuesday and Thursday when it
comes out. That's my going to bed thing. I miss
you both. I love seeing Casey, I love seeing you
for um. I really appreciate getting to be involved in
this occasional I guess well. We love you, we love you,

(01:49:06):
and we love all of you. Thank you so much
for for continuing to tune in, for those of you
who were so interested in the merch and are are
pitching the funniest fucking ideas for merch I've ever seen.
We will, we will get to it. Donald and I
are going to dedicate more bandwidth two putting up merch
now that we know. I'm gonna be honest with you.
I don't think that I can get I don't think

(01:49:26):
we can get I doc leo on a shirt that's no.
But but wait wait, but if you if you love
the five six seven eight Bill Lawrence thing, I want
you to tweet Zach Zael, not Daniel, Donald, not me.
Just tweet Zach that you want to and he's gonna
need to hear it a lot for him. You know

(01:49:46):
what I'm gonna you know what I'm gonna make. I'm
gonna make a T shirt with Bill's face giant on it,
and it's just gonna say five eight across the topic.
Already got some of those. If anybody wants one, make them,
make them in my Bill's bills, made some at home. Wait,
there was something I wanted to say. You just reminded
me of Oh this girl on my Twitter she wrote

(01:50:09):
the show, but she sent me the funniest picture Donald.
It's it's Leo standing on a dock. Um, and it's um.
I think it's from Great Gatsby And he's at the
end of his dock, and there's a little rowboat and
and the and this woman or young woman wrote, Um,
I wish I was good at photoshop because I would
put Donald in the rowboat because then you can be

(01:50:36):
talking Leo things that will never make it to a shirt. Well,
if if you're if you're at home, you can make
your own Donald Docking Leo shirt. Thank you for tuning in.
We really appreciate you. And hey, Bill, why don't we
go out with another Charlotte Lawrence song? What's what's your
favorite song? That's not the one we uh we played

(01:50:57):
since we're limited, but we can celebrate your beautiful honor. Well, okay,
one of the cool things that UH were Atlantic is
doing is that they released a children's album. My daughter
did a song called Lavender's Blue on their UM. It's
a bunch of huge recording artists that you will know
doing kids songs. It's UH at home with the kids,

(01:51:18):
UH and all the proceeds, one of the proceeds go
to Save the Children, which is doing amazing work in
a hundred different countries. So this will be a little
kid's well bye. But it's called Lavender's Blue by Charlotte Lawrence.
No relation bloods creen. When I am king, dy shall

(01:51:42):
be queen touches Solida touches so to hord day to
shatal soon call up your let Denny Delly, Send them

(01:52:06):
to look, some to plow Denny Delly, some to the phone,
some to make it dey doing, some to come cord
while I deally do he keep myself swarm the hinters

(01:52:33):
created to he love Finters Blue. If you love me,
Deny Dolly, I will love you. Let the pirs say,
dey Dolly and Thelabs play we shall be safety Tilly
out of HER's way. I love to this siy doy

(01:53:05):
I have to say, when I am great diy Delli
you be my king. You told me so, Dinny del
you told me so. I told myself, didy dey, I
toy so

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Donald Faison

Zach Braff

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My T.C.W. with Bill Lawrence