Real Friends Classic: 208 - My Fruit Cup With Heather Locklear - Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Donald. They are making a Lando series for Disney Plus,
and uh, Donald Lover's coming back and I just don't
see how anyone could avoid you being on this show.
Wait Donald's when did How did I miss this morning?
Oh see, Joel, I had it right. Yeah, this is

(00:21):
brand new news. Uh. They think they just dropped a trailer.
I haven't watched the chair trailer. Yeah, I think Yeah,
somebody was saying that there's some images on Disney Plus.
So I'm not sure if they cut a trailer from
nobody call me listen. Wait, Joel, it's already been filmed. No,
it hasn't been filmed. No, no, no, I think it's
footage from Solo that's been caught up like that, Like yeah,

(00:44):
but he's in there doing his Landau thing and they're
like coming soon and Lando CALRISI and listen. I was
gonna say, Solo is a good movie. Y'all can hate
if you want to and act like so I didn't
make it through. Let me just listen. Let me just
tell you something right now. It was nothing wrong with Solo.
It was a fun Star Wars movie. If it had

(01:05):
come out before the Last Jedi when everybody was kind
of over Star Wars for that little bit of time.
I promise you it would have been well received. The
problem was it was Rogue One, the Last Jedi, and
then Solo, all within a year and a half, and
Nat freaking made it so everyone was like, I'm not

(01:26):
up there. It's too much Star Wars. For me. It's
too much Star Wars. But listen, listen. If that would
have if that were the Force Awakens, let's say, how
about this now, I'm not gonna go down to wormhole.
What if that was one of them, if that was
one of the first television shows. Let's say that was
what the Mandalorian was, if Solo was what the Mandalorian was.

(01:48):
When it came on, everybody and it and and and
they were like, look, we're not gonna make it a movie.
We're just gonna make it a television show. We're gonna
do nine episodes of Solo. And the first episode was
the movie that we saw. Everybody would be losing their
mind on how great Solo was, So don't give me
a bullshit. It was just too much Star Wars. Okay
for our own podcast, Yeah, exactly. And I also think

(02:10):
anytime a directors are replaced with a new director, and
that director comes in and has to sort of start
from whatever point he's starting. I mean, it's kind of
a recipe for a disaster. It's two different movies. There's
the there's the Christ and Film movie, and then there's
the Ron Horward movie. I would have really liked to
have seen the Christ and Film movie, because they're they're

(02:31):
funny dudes. But but I guess my my assumption was
always that they must have gone off too far in
there in their own direction. And Kathleen Kennedy, the woman
who you can't recognize from her identical twin, probably thought like, Hey,
that's not the tone of this. What are you guys doing.
I don't know, I don't know what I made that up.
I made that up in my head, Joel. But doesn't

(02:52):
sound like it's realistic. I'm very curious to know the
real story of what all went down. I've heard a lot,
a lot of rumors, but there's there's nothing conferred. Everyone's
being very tight lipped as of now. I think it's
a story we'll hear more about in five or ten years. Well,
I think yeah, one day. Yes. Everybody's so excited for
the Snyder DC cut and everything like that, is it

(03:14):
really going to be better than the Justice League movie? Though?
I don't know, but all I can tell you is this,
I'm just asking out there. Joel nodded her head like
I don't know. Dan nodded his head like I don't know.
But everybody bought whatever the HBO Max. Is that what
it is? Yeah? Yeah, you have to buy HBO Max?
Or is it if you have you have Hbo do
you just get HBO Max? No? You actually answer this question. No,

(03:37):
if you have a subscription, you do not need to
buy it. You can use your can log in like
your you're yeah, like if I have it through if
I have it through my cable or whatever, I have it, Okay.
But if you don't have it and you're like, I'd
rather just pay like ten dollars and have the HBO
streaming experience, you can do that as well, and it's
totally worth it. There's so much content. And when does
the Snyder cut drop? That is a Google question. Let

(03:59):
me find out sting And how are you a day show?
Are you? Well? I'm you know, doing it the best
I can. California just reached reached number one in the
US with Yeah. Congrats everybody, congrats we did We did
a thunderous applause Dan, No, how about instead of thunderous applause, Dan,
you just do thunderous booing. Yeah, jeers, Dan, jeers. We

(04:24):
did work, good work, did it? Good work? La could work, California.
We are the worst, dude. We're gonna be making movies
and Stad nobody's gonna make anything here. Well, you know
it's okay, though, it's okay. We had it coming. We
were so freakingy. This is Canada's chance, you know, how
like if we're in pole position for production and Canada's like,

(04:47):
oh shit, and now you can hold in the cars
and they take it on the turn and then they
make a move on turns. Yeah, this is Canada's chance
to come in. Just steal all the US production. Good luck.
They can do it right now. You can do it
right now, Canada, right now, Canada. You need to make
the incentives even bigger and bam, it's over. Just don't

(05:07):
tax us, just don't tax us. Everyone will come. Do
you know that the film industry started in my in
my hometown, well, my home neighborhood of what well Edison's
Black Mariah, where he was making the very first films
was in West Orange, New Jersey. That's where his laboratory

(05:27):
and where he did all his work was. You can
actually go there. It's a museum. And the Black Mariah
was his first sound stage. I don't know if you
guys know this trivia and the Black Mariah was a
rectangle or square that sat on a giant circular track
and so it could spin. It had a sunroof and
it would spin to find the light because Edison needed

(05:48):
so much light to make these films that the roof
would open and the whole thing would rotate three hundred
and sixty degrees to find the sun. And so the
movie industry begins and it's like, holy shit, this is
the thing. And then someone goes, why are we doing
this in New Jersey? Why don't we do this where
the sun is always out and it's always seventy five

(06:08):
degrees and it's always sunny, and we don't have to
We can do whatever the how we want. And that's
how this song. All the leaders, all the leaves are brown,
and this guy is great, and this guy is great.
California Candyfunia Tree on a Way Tuesday. Hey, Well that

(06:30):
was that was a beautiful ndition that was written a
few years later in the sixties. Okay, but that's about
living in Laurel Canyon. And I think right being, there's
a great documentary on the Laurel Canyon music scene. I
highly It's called Laurel Canyon, I believe, and it's on
epics UM and there's a two parter and it's about

(06:54):
the music scene in the sixties and the seventies and
Laurel Canyon, and it's just fucking great if you love
music and music documentaries. I do love music and I do.
How are you man? It's I'm good. Heather Lockleer's here today.
That's a thing that's amazing. First, is she here, Dan, Joel?
Is she in the waiting room? Probably we should probably
get into this shing. Nobody leaves Heather in the corner.

(07:15):
Heather in the corner. I'm nervous. Can I be honest
with you that I'm nervous too. I'm gonna be honest
with you. Yes, I knew that we had a guest,
and I knew that it was someone of importance. Yes,
I did not. I'm afraid I did not know the
magnitude of the guests this week. I how did you
not know that it was Heather Locklear. She's the only

(07:36):
star in the episode that would that we would ask,
I mean, who did you think it might be besides
Heather Locklear? I thought it was Shay because this is
such an important episode. Also, no Shay were specifically requested
his story, which I believe is the episode Johnny C voiceovers, Okay,
so I think that's one of Shay's favorites. So we said, Shay,

(07:56):
you pick because this is such an important story in
the whole you know, scrubs thing. This episode is so important.
I never imagine in my whole life that I would
ever be in in a position to keep Heather Locklear winning.
Let's not doing anymore sending stop it. Seven stories about

(08:17):
Shore we made about a bunch of dots and nurses,
and Jan said, he's the stories. So gather around you.
Here are yeado around you? Here a Heather? Can you

(08:40):
get us? Here we go. I got so excited. My
dogs are all barking. Now, hey, shut up, I'm talking
to Heather lock Clear. How are you guys? Hi, Heather?
We are so excited you're doing this. We're very deep
saying Donald, you look like you're in a closet with clothes.

(09:06):
What's going on? Where are he is at in a
closet with clothes that you nailed it? This is my closet.
I share it with my wife. I was hoping because
there's some nice thing. Yeah, put something up, something else up,
because it was just my golf shirts and stuff. She
would like, that's ugly to look at. Let me put
Let me put Oh, you didn't tell me that those

(09:27):
dresses were up as background designed by Casey. I thought
that they were outfit she might be wearing soon. Now
you're telling me that the Donald might be or Donald
might be wearing. But you're now you're saying that Casey
didn't like the look of the closet on the and
decorated a little bit. Yeah, she put up. She put
up something so that the backdrop was a little different.
The camera is so Zach, you're all happening there that, Yes, Heather,

(09:48):
I I well, Donald has you. Donald has two young children,
and so he kind of has to hide out in
his walking closet to do this here. I put my
dog out with my boyfriend because he would bark and
be all over and and my daughter just left Donald,
I have to say, she just wanted to say that
she has a crush on you. I don't think she Yeah,

(10:08):
I don't think she ever saw it Scrubs, but she
I don't think she was alive, but I think she
saw Uptown Girls together and right were We've been talking
about this now we have so much to ask you.
But wait, since you brought it up, let's start with
Uptown Girls. Donald's told us a lot of fun memories
of making that movie. Howther did you have a good
time making that movie? No, he had good friends with
the co stars. He really didn't talk to me. I

(10:31):
think we had one night out. Yeah. He was really sweet,
but he had He was very much in a group,
and I was the old lady of everything. So I
was like, okay, that's not it at all. Were you
too cool for school? For so wevous? I was so nervous, Yes,
I was. He was, he was he was trust me,
I was. That's so sweet? We had we I think

(10:53):
we had one just one night out, right, that was it.
It was one long night, long night in a line
or something. Yeah, yeah, but if yeah, that was it.
Fun time. I enjoyed making that movie. I enjoyed being
in that city in the summertime. That was so cool.
I know, I was like, I'll all go to New York.
That's great. It's so rare when someone actually lets you

(11:13):
shoot in Manhattan these days or even those days. So
when someone's like it's a movie and you're like, okay,
I like the script, they're like, and it's shooting in Vancouver. Yeah, exactly,
exactly right, That's how it always. We were just saying
that how Vancouver has an opportunity right now, right this
mo yeah, right, but they could snatch up all the work.
I know. We just said that before you, before you

(11:34):
came out and Heather, we were saying that Canada is
in a position since the since COVID is just devouring
Los Angeles to steal production once and for all. Oh
for sure, yeah, just not with us. Yeah we're not
allowed in, but maybe one day to let us in.
Maybe one day to let us in. We never really
wanted to go to Canada so much, I know, and

(11:54):
now and now it's exact. It's exactly like like life
when someone's like, now we don't now you know, now
we're all please let us in, please let be let
us be in a relationship. With you right exactly, Heather.
I was just looking at your IMDb, and an actor
could only dream to have had the length of a
career you've had. I mean you have. I can't I

(12:15):
I donald, and I can only hope that that we
have a fraction of the success you've had over your life.
Oh you already do no, No, no, you're started. No,
you start right. I'm older than you. Well, i'm older
than you. Time to catch up. You have a smigels.
But but you started very young. And now is it
true that I was just looking? What was the was
it Chips? Your very first job, That's what I mean?

(12:36):
He says. It was my first job, my first line,
make them stop? Please make them stops, and remember that
was good. It was actually a group of motorcycle riders
throwing a girl up in a blanket. I don't know
if it was me or someone else, but I remember
for the audition, I was always nervous and um. For

(12:57):
the audition. I heard the girl before me say make
them so, please make them talk, and I'm like, oh,
that's the way I'm supposed to do it. So I
copied her. You stole her line reading I'm gonna try
that yes, I did. I was. Yeah, it was very good.
So wait, why was it so these motorcycle man? I
just want to catch the scene. They have a teenage
girl in a blanket and they're throwing I think there's

(13:20):
two of us and um and I think, yeah, they
might be throwing the other girl up in a blanket
and there she's so terrified of these guys and I'm screaming,
make them stop. I don't know who I'm screaming too.
Probably probably to punch, Yeah, probably to punch your job.
I hope it was John or Punch that came to
your rescue. Yeah, it's like if you're on if you're
on Chips and like your storyline didn't involve pont puncher

(13:43):
John point Ye. I wonder if that happen with us,
like people like you know, Heather, you got to do
two episodes and you got to interact with almost everyone. Yeah,
I'd be funny if you came to do a show
that was popular and like you never your storyline didn't
include any of the lead character. Can you imagine You're like, oh,

(14:04):
it's that's well. Oh, actually there was something I did.
I did the First Wives Club, and there was a
couple of scenes and there was there was a couple
of scenes that they cut out of me, and then
the only scene that I had at no lines, and
one of the actors were at a funeral and he's
supposed to take his hand and touch my breast and
they show that and he actually touched more than It

(14:27):
was kind of gross, and so I said, can you
just take my name off the credit since now I
don't have any lines or and you know I saw
everyone from Afar, so it was credit less. So wait,
you're in the First Wives Club and the only thing
that happens is a man grabs your breast. He doesn't
grab it, he actually outlines my area with his finger.
I didn't say that in the script. I was like,

(14:49):
I'm so glad they're following his hand down because my face,
my mouth is fallen open and I can't believe it.
And don't do it again. Just one take and let's go.
Oh my god. Yeah, you know, I you know, I've
never asked someone this, but it's just it must be.
It's a it's a blessing because you're such a stunning
woman and always have been a sex I think it's
safe to say you were a sex symbol because you

(15:11):
are you are were okay, no, you were in art
and uh is it ever? Because Donald and I never
faced this problem. We're not sex symbols. But I mean,
did you ever feel like did you feel like did
you did you sometimes feel like guys like I don't
I want to do the part, but I don't want
to do that that random sex scene with that guy,
Like does that have to be in there? Does that

(15:31):
come up? Well, it wasn't really. We were at we
were in a funeral. We were on the benches at
the church. Yeah, so it was, and so there was
more to the part, and I had feeling the bigger,
bigger scenes, and that's they just thought they, I don't know,
maybe I was bad in it, and they went, let's
just put that. I doubt it. You're one of the viewer.
You're one of the very few people. You're one of
the people that we were talking about you because you're

(15:53):
one of the very few people that was on two
hit shows at the same time, right right, that was
very cool. I tell us about that you were doing,
you were doing um Dynasty, Dynasty and and t J Hooker. First,
I did, how opposite can you be? Um, and Dynasty.
I think they let me go because they were letting
someone else go and I'm like, okay, So then I

(16:15):
got this other job t J. Hooker, and then they
brought me back, so um, you know I would we
work week here in a couple days on Dynasty and
it was no big deal. I wasn't the main purse character,
so it's only had a few lines in each thing.
It wasn't tough about it was a big deal because
that doesn't ever happen to anybody. Yeah, it two different networks.
It two different networks. Now it was ABC and it

(16:36):
was they were both spelling o that. Yeah. Did love
Heather Locklear? He sure did? And then he passed away
and then I'm like, jobless, don't say that, don't say
you listen to Bill Bill Lawrence clear Well, I did
Spin City and I'm not sure if he was writing

(16:57):
on it then or not. I'm not sure what the
thing was. Maybe he left, but I think he might
have created it. Is that true or not? Yes, he
created the show, and I'm sure if he wasn't writing that,
he obviously thought you were very funny something. Yeah, but
he also you know, Bill is a very one thing
about our friends. He's very loyal and when he likes people,
he likes to work with them over and over again.

(17:19):
So even if he wasn't writing the show at the time,
the fact that you were on the show means he
was like, oh, you know, he's obviously seen your work
and thought, oh, she's so funny, she's so beautiful. And
well I befriended his wife, and so now I get
Christmas cards. Oh that's the way in, that's the way
that is. It's always the wife. Chris. What was t J.

(17:39):
Hooker like, because we always hear all these Shattner stories,
mostly from Star Trek, but but you knew like Shatner,
I mean, this is a long time ago. Well, he
was very intimidating to me, and he's like, when you
stop speaking, saying, you know, like you can't think for
any lines, kind of like on your Sean Scrubs, you
can't think, you can't go hum. I mean you do,
you guys do, because then you have that bubble where

(18:01):
you're doing something else. But he would say, if you
stop speaking and take I'm gonna start, I'm gonna jump in.
So I'm like baa. And it was always like license
plate numbers. I'd have to remember, oh, license plate blah
blah blah, blah blah, and this and blah blah. And
they'd have different fifty different characters in one show, and
so I was just delivering them boring information and it
made me so nervous. So and he'd look at me

(18:22):
and stare and wait, and I'd go and he jumped
in and that was about it. Yea, he is very intimate.
He's Captain Kirk. I can understand why he's well, I
didn't ever see those shows. So he was the shat
even at the last even at the time, Heather, were
you curious to not to go back and see, like, oh,
let me see what this was? This guy's the lure

(18:43):
of of Shatner. Yes, I did. I could see the allure.
He's very charming. Um. But he's very and he's very
funny and very dry. Um. I had ended up doing
a Boston Legal with him and that was fun. And
I was a little older more it seemed closer to
his age than when I was eighteen, um and brand new. Um.

(19:04):
But he and then I remember going, I think I
don't maybe it was Nobu and um I it was
he and his wife, and we went to some place
where you throw the braws off and you put him
on the ceiling something like something similar, something similar. I
don't think it was that, but it was another place
and I was on the bar and I go, should

(19:26):
I take it off? And I'm thinking he's probably going,
why are you asking me? And he said sure, and
I took it off and it's left there somewhere. Um,
he's like, why asking me? Right? Um? What's his name?
On a Seinfeld? The little guy who Yes, So he

(19:49):
is a huge fan of William Shatters And if you watch,
he goes, tell me what schatters like, tell me what
he's like. And I'm like, well, sometimes he's an asshole,
and um, sometimes he's not. But he's like, oh, I
got and I didn't want to, you know, say anything there.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with William Bill but um,
so you if you go back and watch, you'll see
his cadence is similar to William Shatner's. Oh really he

(20:12):
was Jerry. Now you have to look at it differently. Yeah,
coming over, yeah, coming over, Jerry exactly past the Wow,
this is gonna blow people's minds. So Jason Alexander was
such a big fan of William Shatner that if you
listen to his cadence, some of it is in the
spirit of that unique Shatner cadence. Exactly. I want to

(20:38):
meet the person. I want to meet the person who's
a fan like like it's such a fan of like
Christopher Walking and tries to steal his cadence. That's the
hardest cadence I've ever heard in my life. That is
the toughest I feel at home speaking right the seeing
of wait, by the way, you do a great um
Jimmy crack Corn of Neildman I had. That's stuck in

(21:00):
my head. I don't care. Only that is the only
impersonation that I can do that's actually close to it.
It's it's it's it's only because when I was a kid,
I used to watch you know, Transformers and and G
I Joe after school on you know, W P I X,

(21:22):
and they would always in between the shows that they
would play a commercial for Neil Diamond's greatest hits, Oh
my gosh, and I could only get the first few lines.
I don't I've never owned a Neil Diamond record. I've
never been to a Neil Diamond concert. I've never seen
a Neil Diamond movie. All I know is that he

(21:42):
sang a bunch of songs and they went like turn
on your hard light, a very good let it shine
wherever you go around the world. Oh my, that's surprised. Now.

(22:02):
It's the only all the years I've known him, Heather,
it's the only impression he does. Well. Yeah, like they
tried to get me to do Aaron nevill I can't do.

(22:24):
That's great, that's all we got. Now. I'm guessing Jimmy
Krackcorn is probably a public domain song. I'm guessing because
they didn't. Maybe that's why we chose it because we
didn't have to pay for it. But all the songs
in this episode, Heather, sometimes, now that these shows are
all streaming, some of the songs had to be replaced
because the contracts they signed for the original show didn't

(22:46):
didn't extend to streaming. So, uh, this episode I thought
really suffered because there was some good music in this
episode that is all gone. I don't know if you
guys love Yeah, I did watch, but I didn't. Well,
the end be a Nelly song, right, and that was
not the song. If you want to go and take
a rap with me might yeah and then wow, but

(23:15):
I just wanted to say that the show ends, and
it's supposed to be like we're on a rooftop and
in downtown LA, and it's it's like and then I
was really I was really noticing that that song whenever
they replaced the song, well, was someone that went in.
I think it was Randall? Oh you did Spin City? Yeah?

(23:36):
Well he he told Donald and I that he was
the one who had to oversee someone going, hey, we
got to fill in these slots, and so I don't know,
they're not nearly as good, but I guess if you
have the DVDs, you're the only person with the real
all the real original music. But we we usually I
think I do. Should we get into the recap? Let's
get into the recap because we've got the how they're Lockley,
you're here? Um. JANEA. Bachin wrote this episode. She's a

(24:00):
very I mean, do you want me to do that
thirty minute recap? Oh? Sorry, thirty minutes, thirty minutes. Sorry,
I forgot Heather. Um, we have a new thing there, Donald,
it's not new anymore, but we keep forgetting it. But
Zach keeps forgetting about it. I love it. I know
why I forget about it. I love it. I don't
know either. Listen, it's anxiety for me. I freaking sit

(24:20):
down and I really think about it. And sometimes it's good,
sometimes it's not. That's how it goes anyway, Heather, he
is going to sum up the whole episode in thirty seconds,
and then together we'll go through and really parse it
all out. But now I get stop, watch out, hold
on Donald. Okay, listen, this might be a little bit
longer than thirty seconds, but I really like it when
you at least try to get thirty sets. But then

(24:40):
I might miss out on things and stutter over my
words because I'm so nervous. This is This is very nervouacking.
But here we go, keep marks, get set go. This
episode's about a bunch of things, but mostly it's about
double standards. Turke and jd are fine if they robbed
the hospital, but not each other. Cox hates his hates
the fact that his girlfriend has baggage, but binds up

(25:01):
having his own. Elliott loves the perks of having daddy
take care of everything, but longs to make her own
career decisions. This is an important episode because at the end,
all of them are moving forward in their personal lives.
Turken Caller at the next level of their relationship, Jordan
and Cox are going to start a family, Elliott is
stepping away from her comfort zone, and the hospital is

(25:22):
becoming more of a backdrop. Meaning this is a sneak
peak of what's to come. Oh shit, that was amazing.
It was amazing. It was thirty nine seconds. So in
some ways you failed. But let me tell you how.
You listen, let me tell you how. I didn't give
a I don't care. I don't care if I feel
it anymore. I don't care because it could be I'll
do a minute one next time. I want to give

(25:43):
you a genuine compliment. Do a minute one next time.
I want to give you a genuine compliment. Donald, That
was real, not no bullshit. That was a very good summary,
and you actually highlighted things that I didn't even see.
I saw what you were saying in terms of the
episode being um being about new chapters in a sense,

(26:03):
but I didn't think of it in the macro like, oh,
this is a shift in in in the show in
that we tease the marriage, we tease Johnny c and
Christa getting back together. Um, we tease Elliott going off
on her own. Right, Elliott is separating from her parents
and and and and being financially independent. And JD realizing

(26:24):
he's about to be in limbo at the end of
the episode, Right j JD nervous about losing his best
friend because Carlos says the word we about Turk and
her and and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's
happening here? Am I gonna lose my best friend? So
my point is that was very good because your your
summary was not just hey, here are the facts. It
had some insight into it. I will gladly give up

(26:47):
those nine seconds of failure appreciate the insight. So that
thunders applause Dan, thunders applause Dan, Dan, I'm going to
approve that. Thunderous applause TECHND. I wonder if we should
make it so when we add these on, there's a
plause toun of x if if we both need to improve.
It's like it's like you know when in the Nuclear
Code where they both have it to turn their key.
Oh yeah, yeah, that's my favorite part of Superman UH

(27:11):
three with Richard Pryor in it where he's pretending he's
drunk and he has to put the keys in at
the same time, and he makes he makes a little uh,
not a concoction, but like a little uh levy using
another person. If you ever going to be the opportunity,
what about the beginning of war games? What about the
beginning of war games when they go turn your key, sir,
put the turn your key and he puts his gun. Yeah,

(27:32):
oh that was a great scene. Love it. Sorry, Heather,
we sometimes have trouble staying on love me. Thanks to
look for this podcast should be called a digression. That's okay.
It's some people. I see some people on the web.
We're commenting like, I really enjoy it, but they don't
always talk about the episode. I'm like, well, guys, that's

(27:53):
the show. This is the show. That the show, the
show is there, right, the show is this? Right? We also, okay,
so they all they talk about things I don't know
where Yeah, all right, so um. The first thing I
laughed at out loud was when I walk in Carla
is in the apartment and I pick up our taxidermy

(28:13):
dog to hide my my tidy whities, and Donald walks
and he goes, don't use rowdy to cover up your giblets.
The dialogue is excellent. Weird word for what A weird
word for what a great word for grind giblets. I
like it giblets. It sounds like what what is it? Gizzards?

(28:37):
To me? Like, what are giblets? What are giblets? It's
the extra it's the extra stuff. Biscuits A burning giblets
are the stuff you don't use when you cook a turkey, right,
chicken or whatever. I don't know. I thought take it
out that I don't know the culinary term for edible
awful of a foul that typically includes the heart, the

(29:00):
actual gizzards, liver, and other organs. There you go, I
know what those other ones are. Yeah, yeah, no one
cooks chicken. Penis might be a delicacy. Somewhere about to say,
you never know? You never know either do you like
eating weird stuff? Or or are you conservatively you're you know, no,

(29:24):
I eat like, what's weird giblets? I don't know. I'm
not saiblets, but like to eat like, you know, when
you're out and about and someone says, oh, tried this
weird food? Do you do you do that because I
normally don't. I'm like, no, I'm gonna have you ever
Have you ever had snails? No, I've never had a cargo.
I have that's good, but no, I usually ask for
someone else to taste it first and look at their face. Donald, Donald,

(29:50):
are you an adventurous I don't think you too. You
like what you like. I don't around with food, man,
but you like sushi. I do like sushi, and I
like some texture is a big deal for me. And
if I know what it is and then the texture
is what I imagine it would be like, then I
have a problem with it. Like somebody was like, do
you like beef tongue? And I was like, absolutely not. No.

(30:14):
And it's all because when I was younger, I tried
it and my grandmother made it and I tried it
and it tasted exactly well, it didn't taste like but
it felt in my mouth exactly what I thought a
tongue would feel like. If you can always like, just
check your own tongue and it's probably like that, yeah,
exactly what it was like chewing all night tongue And

(30:34):
I was like, I'll never ever ever see it in there,
and like the deli counter. They'll be just like a
giant beef tongue. It's I don't like that. But those
people eat brains too, they eat cal brains, right, yeah, no,
I do you know it's a delicacy in some places.
It's like it's like watching Indiana Jones and the Temple
of Doom Chilled monkey Brain. Yeah, as we talked about

(30:54):
that movie Gaming Nightmares. Yeah, um, this was a big episode, yeah,
from me in particular. When I look back at it now,
it's even bigger. Ken Winningham, the first black director Scrubs
has ever had, yes, directed this episode. Yeah, I think
this is its first time directing it too. And Ken's

(31:14):
a very good director, and he became one of our
regulars because we love Ken Winningham. He's gone on to
direct so many shows. He's directed pretty much everything. He's
directed pretty much everything. But I remember thinking, I remember
thinking about, oh, they hired a brother. Okay, Um, so
that that was good. I mean that was that made
you feel um like okay about obviously about time, guys,

(31:38):
it's like middle of season two. How about some people
of of different minorities that are directing the show? Right?
We did? We had had a had we had a woman,
we'd had a couple of women director already at this point,
maybe Gail Mancuso. I think, m yeah, but I mean
now and now this is twenty years later, this is
still a big conversation. Yeah, it's what it is, right

(31:59):
and you know, you know, we've still got to make
these moves, but it's it's it's what it is, and
it's time for it's time to change that. We got
to restart coming up soon. So that's that's uh now
now in again, I think in a in a good way,
there's a mandate making sure people do it. You know,
the networks in the studios. I've really said when I

(32:20):
when we made our show Alex Sync, they said, no,
we want you know, it isn't It isn't like, oh,
you guys can do whatever you want. It's like, no,
we would like a certain amount of minorities to be represented,
we'd like a certain amount of women to be represented.
And I think that that's really great and only getting better.
I agree with you. Let's go to break, guys, We're
gonna go to break and be right back with Heather Lock.

(32:42):
Were any bad? Um? I'm weeping at two fifty four
because doctor Cox, I think winked at me. And that's
how happy I am that is approved. Were those real
tears or did somebody? No? No, I mean when I'm

(33:06):
doing a dramatic thing, I can get myself there. But
in a comedic cart in no way, am I just
gonna start bawling? All right? I want to ask you,
I want to ask you to do it. Can you
do that? Can you cry on cue? No? Right, it's
very hard. I meant to tell the Garden State story, dude,
tell the story of Natalie Portman and tell the story
of you. The two different versions of crying in that movie. Well,

(33:28):
Natalie is very good at that. Natalie Um like some
actresses I know. Can Sarah Chawk's another person I know
who can do this, can kind of go off in
the corner for a minute and get herself into a
head place. Yeah, and then and then do it and
cry for me. And then Garden State she had to
do that a lot because she had some some crying
moments for me. I actually was a blessing in disguise

(33:50):
because when there was a scene in in the in
a bathtub, empty bathtub where we're sitting and I was
meant to cry, and I there was a we shot
the wide master shot first, and and and like I said,
just being in that moment and with such a good actress,
and it was so real. It genuinely happened, and I
cried and it was a powerful moment, except that it

(34:14):
was the big wide master right and um, and the
camera wasn't going to see most of that. It was
just sort of establishing the room. The trick for those
of you who aren't in the entertainment sustry and doing
what we do is now you're gonna to do that
over and over and over again. You're gonna have to
do it when then when the medium shot, you have
to do it. When it's a close up, you're gonna
have to do it when it's over Natalie's shoulder. And
for me that was close to impossible to just keep

(34:35):
being able to emulate what had happened naturally in the
wide shot. But that's the that's the task of a
of an actor, but for me it was. But but
I was also directing, so then I had to go, Okay,
this isn't gonna match and you know what, maybe it's
too much. So I decided just to just on the
spot go if it's not happening naturally, I don't want

(34:56):
it to be this false. So then it became I
only shed one single tear, and then we had a
joke about her collecting it in a little plastic cup.
But but so that that was kind of how I help,
because when I was directing, I felt like, you know,
if it's forced and it's false, and it's weird that
I'd rather not have it even be in the in
the show, is that what you meant to submit itself?
The exact story I was talking about. I found that such.

(35:19):
I found that so fascinating. It was like the scene
was supposed to be something else, and you you know,
you blew your wad in the first your first in
the yeah, and now it's and now it's time to
do it again, and it's like, all right, well we're
not gonna get that. And you turned it. You turned

(35:39):
the negative into a positive. And it's actually one of
the more powerful scenes in the movie. Yeah, thank you,
thank you. That's pretty great. Thank you. I just go, no,
no go you guys. I was going to say that
it's a it's a good lesson for filmmakers out there. Um,
it doesn't have to be related to tears, but about
about adapting. So something happens and you go and I've

(36:01):
had this happen. You know, when you're directing something, whether
it's a music video or a giant feature film, every
day something is going to happen where you're gonna go, Okay,
that's not according to plan. Is this a blessing in disguise?
So for me and this example Donald's talking about, it
was like being able to cry NonStop for hours was
just not going to happen. It just wasn't what my
head wasn't in that space. I was also directing the

(36:22):
movie and had so much anxiety going on. So then
it was like shifting, Well, what if it's not that.
Maybe maybe bawling like that is way too much for
this character. What if it's if? What if it's actually
a joke that all I can produce is one tier
and we laugh about it. So sometimes just going with
it and coming up with a new plan on the
spot is one of the most crucial things of being

(36:42):
a filmmaker, but also a lot of blessings in disguise
can come out of it. Usually when I'm in that place,
the director says, don't blow it on this master, we're
gonna it's going to be for a second and then
we'll come in and do that. But I do find
what you said. I mean, I I don't think heavy
tears unless it's like for whatever reason is called for.

(37:03):
I think the real moment is when you're in the moment,
and if it comes, it comes, But usually your face
and your heart starts to happen, and all kinds of
stuff happen. It becomes more real. Rather than showing something
and trying to get to show something, it's whatever else
has I agree, it never feels as good as a
pet peeve of mine when you watch so many movies
and TV shows where someone is crying but there aren't

(37:24):
tears coming down their face. Yeah, next time you watch
it a crying scene, notice if the persons has actual
tears in their eyes, because a lot of times they're
scrunging up their face and making the noises, which is
just a huge pet peeve of mine. I would if
the moment, if it's a necessity and the project needs it,
are there's mental things blow in their eyes. There's all

(37:45):
sorts of tricks like if it's mandatory, go do it,
Go fake it. But don't don't do the there's no
water in your eyes crunch up face thing. I hate that.
I feel like Jane Fonda did that on a Golden
Pond or something. She talked about that she had more
tears left or something. I don't remember something like that,
but um, yeah, I think whatever the real moment is is,

(38:06):
if there's not a tear, yeah, just don't fake it.
Just go Yeah. People have reactions about stuff and it's
no tears come out, of course. And also sometimes even
as a writer, I find myself writing something where I'll go,
you know, in the script, I'll write, she hears the
news and instantly breaks down crying, and and then you think,
in reality, a lot of times people that doesn't happen

(38:27):
at all. You might cry later, but in the moment
of hearing it, you're just fucking dumbfounded. You're sitting there
likes like, you know what I mean. And I have
to catch yourself as I have to catch myself as
a writer going be very sparing with with with with
tears direction and yeah, of course, because that might happen naturally,
but also it can get especially it's tricky when you're

(38:48):
writing it. I'm one of the things I'm working on
now is this is this drama and I have to
find you have to find those moments so it doesn't
feel like, oh my god, there's all these these tears
and how do you do that when the stuff you're
talking it is very heavy? Well, what happens in real life?
You know? We Donald, I just had a friend die.
Of course I cried, but I got sorry, thank you.

(39:09):
But nine times out of ten, I was more sitting
there like this, dumbfounded with my with my head in
my hands and my jaw dropped. You know. So you
gotta you gotta remind yourselves about what's what's real, What's
what's really, what's what's what really happens. I remember doing
a scene for Dynasty. I don't think I've ever been
angry in my life, you know, in that up to
that time, and um, I was angry, but I'm so angry.

(39:30):
I started crying, and uh, I think they were like,
what the fff is she doing? But that was a
real emotion for where probably just for me, you know,
because being angry and that brought it about. But they
ended up did they use it? Oh good? Yeah? I
love that stuff. I love happy accidents. You know, you know, yeah,
in the in the comedy world, we are always you know,

(39:50):
it goes without saying you're trying to keep those moments in.
You know, we ripped something. We think it's fun. But
in the drama space too, you want to be like,
oh my god, Heather got so fucking mad she started crying. Eureka,
that was natural. That was real, Like keep it like,
that's the stuff, that's the that's the precious things we
all stumble into, you know, yes, yeah, it's amazing. Well

(40:11):
we started someone was comedically. I can never do it comedically,
so right that Meg Ryan scene in Freaking when Harry
met Sally when he comes over and she's crying because uh,
she's gonna be thirty soon and he's like when she's
like some day and she's crying, but it's there. That's

(40:34):
one of the best scenes ever in the history of
that That that's scene right there. That was your favorite
comedic that's your favorite comedic crying moment. Yeah, easily one
of That is my favorite comedic cry. Sarah Chuk was
good at doing it for real on this show because
she had times, I think even we've talked about it
where she had to be like you know, crying pretty

(40:57):
much on cute, not even from a dramatic moment from
from like, yeah, it's pretty hard, I think. Yeah, analgesic. Now,
I didn't know what what an anal jesic was. It's
aspirin um. Yeah, but we've always laughed at this joke
because your patient thinks it's anal jesic and puts the
pills in his Buttah, that's so good. It's a great joke. Yeah,

(41:23):
it's great. It's pronounced analgesic. The pills go in your mouth, sir, Yeah, no,
I didn't. I didn't know what that was, did you
don Donald, you didn't know either, right, I don't know
how many people got that joke at the time. Well, no,
the joke isn't that. The joke is actually when you
tell him that it's not on your Yeah, right, right, yeah,
who gives a shit? Exactly? Okay, you're right, you're right,

(41:46):
you're right. Who cares? What it really is? The joke is,
old man, don't put these pills in your ass, right exactly?
That guy, I think Donald, if I'm not mistaken, he
was like a regular go to old man we often knew.
I've seen all was he in a bunch of episodes.
I've seen him a few times be like the go
to ancient old man. Do you want to ask Wicki

(42:10):
or is this something that would Wicki's not gonna know that,
And we haven't given him his his funkle pops. Dan.
Those his funk pops behind you. They're real. I didn't
know Dan has his funcle pops right behind that. Dan.
I didn't know if you purchased those for yourself or
if they were for Scrubs. Wicky guy. I acquire them
so that we could get weight signed as fast as possible. Okay, Heather,

(42:30):
you might want some of these. They're there. You have
a Scrubs pops. We have a Scrubs Wikipedia type page
where you uh can look up facts on the show.
And so we got the guy who helped curate this
whole thing with a bunch of other people, and he
comes on the show every now and then answers questions

(42:50):
for us, but he's he's not really into it, Like
he's kind of into it, but he's not really into it.
So we're bribing him. So we're like a technical advisor
kind of guy, somewhat of a yes, I that's a
that's a great way to put it. Yeah, that's a
good way of saying it. He's technically advising. He's like
the keeper of the scrubs Bible. Right, Well, yeah, I

(43:11):
guess so and so we but we got to bribe
him with Funco pops otherwise he doesn't do his job. Well,
that's what oh show for, Heather. Um. They're they kind
of look like bubble heads. They're they're a very popular thing.
Grown up action figures is what they are. They're action
figures from grown ups. It's kind of like it's kind
of like a bobblehead, but they don't bother. These ones

(43:32):
don't babble. I don't think, right, Dan, these aren't bobble ones. Right,
there are Funco pops that that that bobble We didn't
get those. Okay, that's very cool. So if your daughter
is truly a fan of Donald Faison, um, I know
it's from Uptown Girls, but you could get her a
Donald Faison Funco pop. You know, her boyfriend would be destroyed,

(43:54):
okay for him. Don't come up break them? Oh right,
that would be the coolest thing ever. I could walk
around and say that I broke them up. The craziest
thing is if my daughter wore that dress behind you,
oh my god, she might like it. Well, my wife
would probably break up with me. Now I like that.

(44:20):
So there's this pressure, as we understand it, for women,
young doctors to go into become ob gyms because they
make a lot of money, I guess. So we have
this thing where the guino girls are are coming after
that was funny, and then Jady goes in this fantasy
and they're having a pillow fight and they start making

(44:41):
out and then he gets interrupted, so he never gets
to see any of the fun sex. And then he
tries to go back into the fantasy and she says,
I'm very glad that we experimented with each other, but
I'll never do it again. That will never happen again. Yeah,
he's missed the whole dreamy fantasy. Yeah, I love the
fact that, uh that when uh Heather and Cox are

(45:05):
walking through the hallway and she's saying hi to all
the other doctors and everything like that. Yeah, he thinks
she's just flirting and she's like, no, no, no, I
slept with them, and right Heather unabashedly the characters like
he was like, thinks, oh, you're bribing them because you're
selling pharmaceuticals. She's like, no, I just slept with them

(45:26):
exactly like that about her though, she was like, no,
you get to fuck around, Like yeah, I bug around. Yeah,
I mean, and that's my motto too. I think that's
I think that's everybody. I think we're starting to gear
into that being everybody's motto now, like that shouldn't be
any stead Like that's what I was saying. The show
is such about it's this episode in particular is about
double standards, you know what I mean, and how to

(45:47):
and how we and how we tackle double standards. This
dude's so bent out of shape, uh that you slept
with guys at the hospital, but he's got a pregnant
lady yea in his back pocket and what I'm mean,
it's like, yep, come on now, you can't. You can't.
What's good for these exactly right, exactly, Heather. Did you

(46:07):
have fun working with our with our pal, the legendary
Johnny c McGinley, Because it looks like you guys had
great chemistry. He was so much fun and everybody talks
so fast on that show. I was like, oh my god,
here I am well I'm shotting her again. Um, but no,
I had a great time with him, and yeah, he
was very very fun. I really adored him. You guys
had such good chemistry together. You did. Thanks, you did.

(46:30):
You had a good you had a good Bansward. I'm
sure Johnny C was excited when Bill was like, oh,
in your love interest for the week is Heather Lucklear.
I don't think so. It was really fun. John C
McGinley was single at this moment too. He was like, yeah,
he did the Ralph Heather we were talking about. And

(46:54):
then the episode before this one, because you're in that
one too, about these pharmaceutical reps who were often attractive
women and they flirt with the doctors. Did you know
about this lunch? Yeah? Did you know? I did know
about it. I um. They were like, oh yeah, they
take all the doctors to lunch and they flirt with
them and give them all them you know, And yeah
I did. I was very well aware. But my favorite

(47:16):
line was anal leakage and the thing I got to say.
I loved saying anal I think I might be that
could be a good ring tone. Guy. Another one, another
one one Heather Lockley's saying anal leakage could be your notification. Um,

(47:39):
but yeah, so that but I did. I was aware
of that. Yeah, because we were talking about in the
last episode, how was such a thing where they they
they hired, they recruit these beautiful women who who doctors
are going to flirt with and go to dinner and
drinks with and uh and and we kept this going,
you know, you bring all this swag to the hospital
and the mug. Actually, if you see there's an earlier
scene in this where I'm holding I'm drinking coffee out

(48:00):
of a Plomox mug. That's the that's oh gosh. And
then I think donald didn't we keep it going for
like any shows up in the hospital, there was always
Plomox stuff all around because all your all the swag
you left stayed around for years. Now, here's something I wonder, Um,
you know they're always say beautiful women doing that, But
are there beautiful men doing it? Because there's female doctors.

(48:23):
That's a very good question. I think there are. I
think I'm sure there's. I had a handsome friend. I
had a handsome friend from high school who became one
of those guys. I definitely think they're they'd lean to
being good looking people because yeah, I don't know. I think,
I think again. I just remember knowing about this twenty
over twenty years ago because I knew girls who did

(48:46):
it and they were all very pretty and they and
they would tell me they were like, you won't believe
how fucked up this is, Like people don't know, people
don't remember a girl from my from my high school
telling me you don't. You can't believe the data we
have on these doctors, like the shit we know, we know,
we know, and they're prescribing it. What else they're prescribing
If they're not prescribing that, how many How it's compared
to last month, Um, when we gave them a big

(49:07):
incentive that trip. Look how much the graph showed how
much they prescribed it more. And I just can remember
I remember being like, this is so fucked up. And
then I thought it'd be like I thought it'd be
like discovered and over it's like payola back in the
day of the radio station days. And no it's still
going on. Um, that's still going on today, Like aren't
the doctors aware that this is happening? And there, Yeah,

(49:27):
but they want the trip and the pretty woman. I'm sure. Yeah,
I would love to go play golf with a pharmaceutical rep.
Get me out of the hospital for four hours, perfect,
all the yeah, and sometimes it's like a golf retreat.
All you have to do is go like watch the
Plumox video and then you're like on a golf retreat,
right yeah, yeah, um Donald, we have to let Heather

(49:50):
Lockleier go because we only asked her. Yes, listen, we
only we only recruited a legend for an hour, and
we can't. We can't keep her. You're funny, you are funny,
but how do we really want to because we really
are yours. We were both genuinely nervous, so I'm sorry
if we spoke fast and nervously. No, no, me too,

(50:11):
so I might with you. It was it was here
was a pleasure. But it was such a big deal
to have you on the show. When when uh when
this I remember when it happened and they were like,
we got Heather Lockleer and me being like, holy shit,
how do we get out of Lockleer because he had
a good show. Yeah, well, thank you very much. But
it was such a it was it was such an

(50:31):
amazing moment, amazing moment to have you on the show
and then still having an end also because we had
spent the summer together doing Uptown Girl. Yeah right, that
was crazy. It was really nice, and you know what,
it was such a joy for me to do because
it was so different from what I was doing. And
the writing is excellent, the show is great, and you
guys are great and et cetera, et cetera. Well, thank you.

(50:52):
How we really it's good to see you. Good to
see you. Do we have a caller? We do? We
do have a caller? Um um, We're gonna take them
right away. We have to go to break. What do
we do? Think I think we should go to break.
Let's just talk for one second about head of Lockdo
I have to admen? I was very nervous. I spoke fast.

(51:13):
I apologize to the audience. You have to understand I
had such a crush on her as as a young person,
and I I was tongue tied, Donald, I was tongue tied.
You did great. You know what I knew. I sensed
that you were a little nervous. I was making was
I was talking like that, but I sensed it, and
so I tried to throw you into a comfort zone

(51:34):
and just have you talk about you know, uh, garden State.
Oh yeah that was good. Good Alley you yeah, yeah,
you got me. Yeah, I see what you did. You're
a good co host, you said. Zach's rambling nonsense. Why
don't I steer him to some subject he likes to
discuss directing films? Right exactly? I see, God, you're good.
It's just because I love you, fucking hell, I love you.

(51:55):
I want to do And on that note, we'll be
right back. How about Sarah calling a vagina a bijinga?
I had? Is this something that it goes on forever
it goes? No? But I'm saying, like, did they make
this up the scrubs writers? Because what that I've never

(52:17):
heard of vagina called a bajinga before. I've heard it
called so many things that it has. Somebody somewhere has
to call it a bigenga, like I've heard Nanni my
key key vertical smile, my right, my my my new
new my she she yeah, my bigengau, my vagina, my birdginer,

(52:39):
my birdginer yeah, Mgina yeah, vagina gin je Joel or
any jobel or any of those nicknames from vagina. I
don't know, we'll have to google it. I remember, I've

(53:00):
never heard. I've never heard before. It was crazy that
you gotta kind of put it like a different like.
I don't know where this accent would come from, but
it's sort of like a growlinan too much yang yang
too much, too much? Another another one, another one. Oh,

(53:28):
that's a fun game to play make up nonsense terms
for vagina. I'm glad we played. Well, you know we
are well listen, but jingo is bajingo. That's that becomes
Sarah's term for vagina. It's her go to. It's her
go to. Let's bring it our guest. Okay, but don't
mention any of the vagina terms around the gas. Dude,
I'm done. I'm done with it. Want to be appropriate? Hey,

(53:52):
Hilly and Shine? Who Shelley? Shelley is mom. So the
last time I used this, we um we were playing
categories with my boyfriend who's in England. But the day
to you, oh you, she took audience members. She took

(54:14):
a sip of a of what looks like an apple tine.
It looks like an appletinea. I don't think it's just
wearing water. She's wearing a han solo tank top. Donald. Yeah,
she knows the way to my heart. Yeah she does.
I'm gonna say something. I'm gonna say something real quick.
Yeah ahead, Haley, you might just be the best guest
we've ever had ever. She's wearing that shirt. Can you

(54:35):
tell Donald where to get that shirt? Haley? Please? One
that's not gonna be Donald. You shopping Forever twenty one
Donald's Forever six. You know, I thought Forever twenty one
was the store that you went to when you were
twenty one. I thought that too, but I was not
twenty one when I bought it, So I thought Forever
twenty one meant that you wanted to look like a

(54:57):
twenty one year old. That's not It mean everything under
everything is twenty one dollars an under or something? Really, Yeah, Joel,
is that true? I think there's things for over. It's listen,
I will think it. You can buy have three dollars
and lager items were more expensive, but yeah, but you
can divide it and at the end you get twenty one, right,

(55:18):
something like that. This is oh my god, this is
a mind blowing moment for me because I, up to
this moment, thought the whole concept was let's say you're
a little bit older, but you miss feeling like a
little hip. You can go to Forever twenty one and
you're gonna look Forever twenty one. No, no, no, no, no,
it's it's it's you got a couple of You got
a couple of twenty ones in your pocket and five

(55:44):
dollars in your pocket. You can get five outfits from
Forever twenty one. Okay, I did that math quick. That
was quick. That's relatively good. Where are you calling from, Haley.
I'm in Sola Dad, California, at my mom's right now.
So this is where I've been all lockdown. Yeah, there
is Solo Dad. Where is Solo Dad? I don't know

(56:04):
where that is. Um, So it's near. It's about half
an hour south on the one on one of Monterey. Okay, okay,
So it's there's nothing here, there's nothing. You do? You
do you're gonna do? You're doing? What are you doing? Haley? Um?
Right now, I bide my time until I get to

(56:24):
go back to the UK. So that's where your boyfriend is.
And that's where your boyfriend is, So you want to
you want to get back to him? I do, yes, Haley,
You can go. You can go to the UK, Haley,
you just have to quarantine for two weeks on your own. Yeah. Yeah, Um,
well we're doing a visa right now, so we're working
on that. Oh I see and and um and are

(56:47):
you are you content to to be a transplant and
live there full time with your with your boyfriend? Yeah,
I'd love to be transplanted into that country, so stick
me there. I do love the UK, love it. We
love it too. I'm gonna be uh yeah, I'm gonna
be transplanting there myself. Wait what Yeah, you're gonna love

(57:08):
them to UK? Well, for part I'm I'm I'm I'm
dating a British woman and part time I will be
I'm spending I'm sure a percentage of my life there.
Don't get upset. I'm not moving there, Donald, I'm just
saying that if if, if I'm if one Hayley can attest,
if one is in a relationship with an English person,
you have to you have to go there sometimes, and

(57:28):
it's a delightful place to go. Hey, listen, they could
be from a country you don't want to visit. Hayley
and I are lucky that it's a country we both love,
and the food's not as bad as everyone says it is. Oh,
the food's wonderful. Give me you can give me mushy
peas any day of the week. Oh my god. Do
I like the bangers in Mash? You like the bangers
in Mash? I don't. I don't really eat pork, so

(57:50):
I eat the mash but not the bangers. I don't
understand why we don't have mushy peas in this country,
because it's as good. You can use my my pool
when I'm gone. Okay, cool, Haley. I'm gonna miss you.
Haley doesn't have to hear about this. We can negotiate
that off all right. Oh it's fine. Just make sure
all my rafts stay inflated, right anyway, Haley, Haley, do

(58:16):
you have a question for us? Please? Please? I do.
I had it on a piece of paper and I
left it in the other room. But don't get it. Okay. Um,
So this is my Fruit Cups. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which
is probably my favorite episode and I don't really know why.
It's just my favorite episode. It's the one I probably
quote the most, you know, like the Daily Users and

(58:38):
walks away right, um? And I love the music the
first scene. Whenever I used to where I worked, I
wouldn't occasionally had to take you know, a toilet paper
roll or two from work, and I'd occasionally be like,
or you steal stuff and take it back to work
or take it back home. Um, But I feel like
it's a pivotal point for all the characters. Doctor Cox

(59:01):
gets back together with Jordan, j D and Turk kind
of both realized that, you know, Turk's relationship with Carla
is really solidifying in this, and Elliott stands up to
her dad. So I was kind of wondering, at what
point in the series did you think that your characters
matured the most, or whether it was how you played
them or how it was written. All right, Hailey, look

(59:21):
at Donald's smug face. Does he said he say the
same thing? Yes? He No, he totally agrees with you.
He gave his thirty second summary and touched on everything
that you just said. And that's why he's got that
shit eating grin on his face. Why did they call
it a shitted ingrin? You wouldn't be grinny when you
were eating shit, would you, No? I would not be

(59:42):
smiling if I had to stick Dodo in my mouth
that would be like it would be like it would
be I get it. So it's not really a shittat ingrin.
It's the face you make but you're like, oh god,
growth and it looks like a smile, but really what
it is? Joel, are you looking around up for a
we need to know the origin of shit eating grin?
What though? Anyway? Anyway, um so Donald, your best to

(01:00:06):
answer that because you you you've already spoken about this price.
I think this is the episode where now when we
were filming it, No, I did not realize this because
none of us knew where the show was going to
go at this point. But you're absolutely right. Every story
that's told in this in this episode goes to the
end yea, each and every one of these stories. Elliot

(01:00:29):
standing up to her dad, this becomes her on her
own and having to make decisions on her own, and
we see how crazy life is for her when she
has to do that, right, She's a hectic person. Jude, Carla,
and Turk go on to get married and have kids.
Cox and Jordan gone to have more children every one

(01:00:52):
of these and Jad's in limbo for the rest of
the season up until the last Forever in Limbo. That
could be the name of the show. Forever in Limbo
j season up until season eight, you are forever in Limbo.
You are the dude who has no idea. We don't
know where you're gonna go. But at this point, if
you were to look back after doing the whole show,

(01:01:13):
this would be the episode my fruit Cups where you're like,
this is where they gave us a taste of what
was to come. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't see that, to
be honest, I was just kind of in more of
a micro viewing of it, laughing at the jokes. There
was some. There's some one like you keep saying beday
bidet to you, sir, the mention of Beijingo. There's some.
There's a few classic sort of moments in here. Um

(01:01:37):
Laverne in the beginning when she's like you look pretty right,
Jes the pills and right, Jim. It's the first appearance
of the Volvo. I believe Donald, do you know that?
Don't don't ruin it, Hailey, because you probably know Donald.
Do you know the name of the brown Volvo? No Malik.

(01:02:04):
We named the Vovo malik Ya. I named my Vovo Malik. Yeah. Wow.
And then you named just it might be my vovo.
I don't know. Why did you name your brown Bobo Malik?
I have a feeling, I have a feeling. Yeah, I
think tur named the car because I definitely I definitely
named my scooter Sasha. Yeah. Sure, sure you know. Remember

(01:02:27):
I I post a picture of me on on anything
two wheels. People were like, is that new Sasha? I like,
post a picture of my motorcycle, and I'm like, oh,
Sasha got an upgrade. There was that time that you
brought me that scooter and it was gray. He didn't
even wear it, didn't even drive it once I did

(01:02:47):
drive it around. You named it? What are you talking about? Oh?
You named it Sasha Gray? Yeah? And then back, Well,
let's tell the audience the true story of this, because
it really it was hurtful to me. No, I had
to Here's the thing it don't do as I'm gonna
be one hundred percent on. So for my birthday, Zach

(01:03:09):
buys me a scooter, a great scooter named I named
her Sasha Gray. Sure. Sure, let's keep let's keep a
Hailey innocent of any absolute knowledge, right. And the problem
with it was, though, is that you had to have

(01:03:31):
a motorcycle license to drive it. It wasn't one of
those things where you could just it wasn't a scooter
that was uh slow enough that you could ride around
on it and not have to have a license. So
if I would have got pulled over, they automatically would
have been like, let me see your license. I'd be like,
I don't have a license, and then they confiscate Sasha
Gray and then I'd never see her again. All right now,

(01:03:59):
from my point of view, Haley, imagine you're my really
good friend and it's a big birthday. I think it
was a meaningful, important birthday, and I was like, I
want to do something like baller for you. I'm gonna like,
I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna ring your doorbell, Haley,
and when you come outside, there's gonna be a brand new, beautiful, expensive,
shiny scooter there for you. Yeah. It was one of

(01:04:19):
the best birthday presents ever. And then and then and
then for years and years and years, I'd be like,
do you ever use the good And he'd be like, oh,
my motorcycle license, my motor and I'd be like, oh, okay,
well you're gonna get that right, You can get that.
Just go go take the test real quick, you and
he'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, the battery's dead now,

(01:04:39):
I know. Yeah, there was always a reason. There was
always a real scooter around my neighborhood quite a few times. Bullshit, Haley,
you know what I finally did you want gonna go
get Casey? I reclaimed that shit, Haley, I was like
taking her. That ship was straight up out of a
jay Z song. Yeah. I rolled up, I rolled up
and took it back. At a protest, they repo Javi Cole.

(01:05:01):
Everything was all good just a week ago. That's what
you did. You rewed the vehicle. I took Sasha Gray
away from you. You did, and it hurt my feelings. Yeah,
I understand. Um. Anyway, Sorry we had to air that
in front of you, Hailey. Do you have another question
for Donald Phazon or I guess um, I have a

(01:05:21):
funny story that relates to Zach what you were talking
about a few episodes ago with the Temple of Doom. Yeah,
I have a funny I can ask my question or
I can relate another silly story story serious story and
if it's and if it's not funny, we'll let you.
You can edit it out. We edited out everything. No one. Um. So,
when I was maybe about eight nine ten m I

(01:05:45):
noticed that were you eight nine or ten in between there?
I don't really remember you were. I was an adolescent
right about it. But I had noticed that there was
something kind of growing on my throat area, and I
went up to my dad, who's a doctor, and I
was like, Dad, look, I have an Adam's apple. Because
I was a child, I didn't know that that was
not a girl thing to have, right, Well, that's not normal.

(01:06:08):
So we went to go get it checked out and
I had to get something removed that was growing on
my vocal cords, and it was as a child, surgery
is kind of scary. So after we had done the
surgery and I was staying overnight, UM, my dad was like, oh,
we have some movies that are at the hospital. Here,
we'll watch this one. And it was Indiana Jones Temple
of Do And right when it gets to the part,

(01:06:29):
you know, and he's ripping out the heart, I just
immediately started bawling. Yeah, yeah, that's why exactly. My mom
came the next day. He's like, yeah, she had this
really bad reaction to the movie and She's like, well,
of course she did. They were pipping out somebody's heart. Yeah,
and I don't think I watched it for at least

(01:06:49):
another ten years, and then I watched it again and
I was like, this isn't that bad. But Haley, but Haley,
Haley and I were scarred by this film. Are Yeah,
our parents made bad choices. How can you be upset
at that movie? I had a whole birthday revolved around
Indiana Jones later, not Temple of Doom, the first one. Mainly.

(01:07:13):
Raiders in a low stark is just as scary when
they opened the Ark of the Covenant and it makes
the dude's face smut. No, I had no problem with that.
There was something about there was something about there was
a man that screams like a blood curdling scream. He's like,
screams like that. I backed up from the mic. You're welcome,
You're welcome. You're welcome America, America, UK, Germany, Italy, Australia.

(01:07:39):
But you listen, Australia, You're welcome. Another one, another one, listen.
A lot of people are asking I don't mean to
cut you up, but a lot of people are asking me.
And this is I feel we need to explain this.
We didn't make up another one. Oh yeah, I didn't.
I just thought everyone would know the pop culture thing
of another. No, DJ k Yes, DJ Khalid. College's college?

(01:08:04):
Isn't it college? Depending? You know, some people say college,
some people say college. Dan, you're a DJ, what is it? Well,
there's there's Khalid, the artist who made talk um. And
then I thought it was DJ Khaled with it more
like I thought too Yeah, yeah, okay, Jay Kalid DJ
Khaled when he drops his latest tracks, he will in
the spirit of Puffy back in the day, going ahead

(01:08:27):
or can't stop, won't stop? Yeah, his his thing is
a number one, Like, here's another hit song for you guys.
He has another one. There's that, and then there's major key,
and then there's way the best. Major key means what
if the song isn't a major key. I don't know
what major key is. That's a question to ask scrubs Wicky.

(01:08:49):
Now we're gonna go to no. Now we're gonna go
to no. Imagine, imagine we have we have, we have
asked DJ Khalid, and now we're gonna gonna ask DJ Khaled.
Um mean by major key? Another one? Um? Joe, did
you ever find out what shit eating grin was about? Yeah,
there's a couple of stories you want to hear. Yeah
please sure? Okay? Um, So, my favorite one comes from

(01:09:14):
RB Smith. He's from the UCSD Astrophysics program, and this
is off with the San Diego reader dot com. He
says the original form of this phrase was grinning like
a possum eating shit, which was occasionally euphemized to grinning
like a possum eating pumpkin seeds. To those are us
fortunate enough to have observed this teeth together, lips apart,
smile on the face of the aforementioned marsupial munching on

(01:09:36):
the aforementioned sectological delegacy. He's smart. The expression conjures up
a very explicit and not infrequently very apropro image, So
that's part of it. Did he say scatological delicacy? Yes,
those are not two words I've ever heard together. It
was not fun to say that name of my band,

(01:09:57):
I m so. So it's referring to an animal who's
eating shit. It has a big smile on his face
because the animal likes eating shit. But it's not really shit.
It's actually pumpkin pumpkin. No, no, no, no, that's like
a clean version. Yeah, when if you're saying it in
front of a kid, you're like, oh, he's like he's
eating pumpkin. Look at that pumpkin seed eating grin on
his face. Yeah, I'm gonna start saying pumpkin seeding grin

(01:10:18):
instead of shit eating grin. Um, Haley, Um, we like
you so much. We're gonna end with one more question
from you, all right, Um. If so, I don't know
if you guys remember, because I know you guys have
been saying that you don't remember um some of the episodes.
But if there was one line that another character had
that you wish you could have had to say, what

(01:10:39):
do you remember? Which one? It was? Good question? M
m m m m m m No. I like in
your Endough, that's I say that a lot as well.
I say that a lot. I think i'd take sometimes
when I'm banging this mattress, I pretend I'm banging that

(01:11:01):
one something Todd said. The Todd says, Um, I also
like Niel's line, my good Lord didn't bless my wife
with another pointer pointer in thumb pinky nine French nine

(01:11:22):
French is very popular yeah, you know, for you know, uh,
I want to be the one inside of you. I
thought that was very funny too, But I said that
you said that, so you didn't really answer. You're the
only man who's ever been inside of me. Whoa, I
just took out his appendix. There's no mean to clarify.

(01:11:44):
Oh no, okay, sum Hayley. Thank you so much for
coming on. Good luck getting to be with your your
fella in the in the United Kingdom. Perhaps perhaps I'll
see you over there after we've both the quarantined and
most likely you won't be nice. Donald. This is called pleasantries. Donald,
I will wave to you. I will. I'm about the train.

(01:12:09):
It's not a train, it's called the tube. There are trains.
The tube is only in London. Yeah, Donald, don't listen,
don't know. I'm in Newcastle. So I'm in like the
north north of London. Oh it's we ritzy. No, it's
not rit ritzy. London is London is the hood if

(01:12:30):
you ask me, Yo, tonight on Donald talks about different
neighborhoods of London. All right, bye, Hailey, thank you so much,
thank you so much, thank you, guys. I saw Lisa
Marie Pressley in London. Really yeah, like at a show.
She did a show. It was like, my buddy was like,

(01:12:50):
Lisa Marie Pressley is performing, you know. Um, first one,
I'm glad we're all finally alone now because I feel
like we had to be great for Heather, and then
we had to host Hayley, who was delightful. But sometimes
you just want to just curl up on the couch
with your friends and and just shoot the ship, you know. No,
I totally agree. Yeah, so let's just let's relax. I'm

(01:13:13):
gonna top up my pants and just I'm gonna kick
my shoes off. Let's pack a bowl and let's just
fucking relax now. No more house guests, no more visitors. Okay,
just us. Let's get feedle on the couch and watch alone.

(01:13:33):
Um now Donald Show, ladies and gentle. No, no, no, no,
it's not we got more to do. Don't crystals back
on the Christa Miller's back looking gorgeous and pregnant and pregnant.
Is that William in her belly? That must be will
in her belly? Yes, that's amazing. What I told Casey
that she was like, holy cow, it was this was

(01:13:54):
that long ago because William is a what is he
a senior in high school? Now? Yea, he must people
and he dunked. He can dunk, and he plays basketball
and he got the game. Yeah, you guys are seeing
him in this episode in utero and now he dunks.
If you want to see him do it, you can
go to Bill Lawrence's Yeah, Bill Lawrence on him on

(01:14:15):
Bill Lawrences Vduzer v Duzer's Instagram and you can see
his son dunk. How about a ten thirteen when I
go I told her you smoked the angel. Yeah, that
was improvd that wasn't something really that was improved. I
remember it was something else originally, and uh, that was funny. Yeah.
I remember laughing so hard when you said that too,

(01:14:35):
and I remember thinking that'll never make this episode. That
will never make the shit because we weren't allowed to
talk about weed back then. It was so scandalous. Now,
I want to know something you're you're I read on
scrubs Wiki that your Brady Bunch trivia here is wrong. Um,
I don't know not about Listen. I don't know nothing
about the Brady Bunch in the first place, so I
don't Okay, Well, Turk Turk is quite wrong here, and

(01:14:57):
I'll tell you why. I can't back it up though,
because I don't no shit about the Brady Bunch. I'm
just telling you so you know if it ever comes
up again in your life. When Turk tries to prove
his knowledge of the Brady Bunch by describing exactly which
episode JD is referring to, he's incorrect. He claims the
episode quote Marcia gets creamed, and quote was in by
the way, you could never name a show that today

(01:15:19):
was in seasons was in season five, episode three, while
it was actually episode seven that season. So somebody fucked up.
We can blame Whee who wrote this. Janee, you fucked up, okay,
and you're a north Western grad. I expected more from you.
I really got a hand it to Christopher in this episode,

(01:15:40):
you know, making fun of herself and you know, making
fun of the fact that she's pregnant and being so vulnerable.
She did such a great job, and the scene in
the bathroom where she's crying, you know, and I felt
very raw and real. Yeah it did, you know. And
I remember when my wife was and there were days

(01:16:00):
where she didn't necessarily feel like you know, she was
the sexiest person on the planet. And I remember just thinking, Wow,
she's so beautiful. She's so beautiful, And I feel like
that's what Cox was going through in this episode, you know,
regardless of him dating how the Lockeleyest character and everything

(01:16:21):
like that, there's something special about when you see somebody
who you love and they're carrying your baby inside of them,
that you just think that the most beautiful human on
the planet. Like I just I just remember looking at
Casey and being like, holy shit, she's so beautiful. And
she and she'd be like I got three chins, and

(01:16:41):
I'd be like, I don't give a shit. You could
have twenty chin. You looked so beautiful. I love all
three of them, right, you know what I mean? Well,
I bet you know christ is a really good actress.
But I also bet that you know she was legit pregnant,
and I'm sure that she could call upon those feelings
when she's sitting on the bathroom floor feeling, you know,
undesired by by doctor Cox. I thought that was a

(01:17:03):
really nice scene between the two of them. Yeah, and
it was a good fake out too. Yeah, that was
clever how they had to do that. So Johnny C
grabs two things whiskey. Heather's on the couch. By the
time he comes around, it's been changed to Krista and
she's like, you know, I can't drink that, right. He's like, yeah,
they're both for me. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Now,
this we've we've said it a couple of times, but

(01:17:23):
this is one of the greatest lines in Scrub's history.
In this episode thirteen o nine, I have one of
those French things that shoots water up my butt. But
day the day to use her, however, I said, but Day,
that was very clever. Heather has a line that's funny

(01:17:43):
when she disses Kristen. She says, anywhere anybody looks, they'll
see that was fucked up. And how about when I
scare you in the ambulance and you scream? That was funny? Yeah,
and yeah, I was gonna say, dude, such a good scene. Man,
that's one of those moments. You know, you we've worked
together for a really long time, and you have and

(01:18:05):
and I've seen I feel like i've seen most of
your tricks. You've developed some new tricks that I haven't
seen in the last ten years because you've gone on
to work on other things and everything like that, but
this is one of those. But this is one of
the first times where we had done a season of
of Scrubs together already, and I hadn't seen you play

(01:18:28):
this this this side before where it was like you
were you were thinking, you you're really thinking about it
in the scene and it disturbs you, but it doesn't
disturb you to where you're like kind of fucked up
about it, but it's just like, holy shit, life's changing
for us. And I had never seen you played that before.
And I remember watching this because I watched it like

(01:18:50):
two two hours ago and thinking, if I remember correctly,
I remember Zach not knowing how he wanted to play
this scene, and we worked on this on his side
for a bit and this is what he came up with,
and it works so well, dude, it works. It's like
it's it's one of those moments where you know you're

(01:19:12):
in awe of the moment as an actor, but you're
also you want to keep it grounded, like so she said,
she said, you said we No, she said we you
know what I mean. And that could have been played
so many other ways, it could have been underplayed, but
you played it very thoughtfully, and I thought that was
so amazing. Thank you, thank you for saying that. I,

(01:19:34):
you know, it's on this show. It was always you
and I so easily went into the silly stuff, right
because that's just that's who we are and that came
naturally to us. But then there's always these great moments
in the scene is one of them where we have
this sort of heart to heart where we would have
to shift our brains a bit and be like no, no, no,
go out of broad silliness and like drop in and

(01:19:55):
be just totally real and straight with one another. And
I think that's one of the things that made this
special to a lot of people because because it had
it had the ability to do that, it had the
ability to drop in and be real. Yeah, you know,
and and and and that's I mean, yeah, obviously that's
the reason why we ran for so long. But that's

(01:20:16):
such a special thing man to to for me now,
to go back and look at the things that we
did in our past and the things that you know,
it's a lot like what this episode is about, you know,
just to look at, you know, moments that we had
back in the day and really appreciating them. You know, Uh,

(01:20:37):
I miss the camaraderie that we had. I don't think
i'll ever in my life experience what we experienced when
we were making this show again. And you know, you
search for it and you try to create it with
other people, and sometimes you even fake it. But you know,
we were also young, but we were also young. And

(01:20:57):
I mean, first of all, yeah, of course nine year
runs on a show with great people, it's not something
that happens multiple times in a lifetime, necessarily, But also
we were young and so wide eyed and so um
excited and really savoring it, I think. And now you know,
you have a family, you know, we all have grown up.

(01:21:18):
We've got other things going on. I didn't even know
that we would. I don't even know if it's recreatable
in a new environment, you know what I mean. Yeah,
I I I can't imagine myself like I can't imagine
myself spending the amount of time that we've spent together
with someone else, now, you know, other than my wife.
And the hours too, man, I also don't want to
work that hard. I don't mind working those hours when

(01:21:40):
I love I love working. I love working. But when
I look at this show and how much how we were,
We were just non existent. Well, you worked a lot
about there were times where you just didn't do but
I just didn't leave. There there were times where I
thought about sleeping in that fucking hospital. Yeah no, not me,
but I never did. Um Listen. The rooftop that ends

(01:22:02):
this show, wasn't it Downtown La? I don't know. I
would like to believe that it was. It could have
been Joseph's. No it wasn't it was. It could have
fancy rooftop, and I believe it. We went down Town
LA for it and then but scrubs Wiki is saying
that it was at UCLA, and I think it might
be wrong. And they're saying it's the the roof of
COPD give this and we kinda give this to freaking

(01:22:23):
funcos Man. No, listen, he deserves funcos for the services
he's already performed. They've given us false. False. It's false though, man,
that definitely where at UCLA? Was that? He says? Well,
Wiki or it's s just him, him and his thousand
minions say couple commons, but that would be Westwood and
that's not Westwood. And the end of the show, right, Dan,

(01:22:43):
you want to ask Bill. Do you think Bill would remember? Remember?
Let's ask DJ dj Khaled at the end of this episode, um,
what what building are we on? I believe it was
Downtown Summer saying it's a UCLA property, which is Westwood.

(01:23:03):
What are your thoughts on this, Zach major Key, I
got nothing. I don't I really honestly don't even have
a DJ Khalid impersonation in my repertoire. If you watch
Scrubs on Hulu, they play a DJ Khaled commercial about
him brush somebody brushing their teeth, and DJ Kaled's like

(01:23:24):
circular motions. Do another one? What if I another one?
What if I do DJ Khaled? But as an as
a as an impersonation that I'm good at. So you
just have to use the audience. We'll just have to
pretend this is how he talks ahead. He talks like
Aaron Neville. I don't remember who where you got shot

(01:23:51):
that scene? But I don't think it was you don't
see him. It was downtown LA. That's how djal talks someone. Mind?
Oh right now, did Aaron Neville die? I don't know,

(01:24:12):
but he's rolling over it right right? Why is he
rolling over in his grave? He's alive. Well that's something
Charles Barkley says. Oh, um, dj kal it is Aaron
Neville dead. No, he's very much laugh We should probably

(01:24:33):
show great show listeners, we love you. Why is the
janitor stealing a computer? He goes the whole the whole episode.
He's trying to figure out who's stealing all of these
I think the reveal is that he's the one stealing
everything out of the hospital. Right. Well, no, he didn't
steal the drugs and he definitely didn't steal the pudding
pops because we did the pudding. Because we did right. Hey, guys,

(01:24:55):
we had a great time with you today. Yes, sorry
um um for anything that went Yeah, we want to
thank Heatha Locklear for being on the show. I want
to thank Joel and Daniel. Joel and Daniel, you guys
are amazing. Thank you listeners all around the world for uh,
for for tuning in and for having a giggle with
us and uh and we hope that this this, this

(01:25:15):
this audio file finds you smiling day the day to
you bibe six seven day stories about Sure we made
about a bunch of dots and nurses and the stories

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Real Friends Classic: 208 - My Fruit Cup With Heather Locklear

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