March 27, 2024 • 34 mins
Gabrielle Gatto works in the crematorium at one of the most famous cemeteries in the country.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Five point fifty five am. I quite literally just woke up.
I'm probably gonna drift back a little bit more, but
I am ready for a new day.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Good boarding at six oh five am, still in bed,
clinging to my beetlejuice and my ft and y pillows.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
So I'm just getting ready for my shift at the
Greenwood Cemetery in the crematory. I gotta be there in
about an hour and.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
A half, so.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Not too groggy. It definitely had some of those dreams
where I thought I was already awake, because usually for
a shift, I'll be up at five thirty.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
But we're gonna do it. This is finally a show
about a coordinator at a crematorium.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
Gabrielle Gatto works at the Greenwood Cemetery in New York.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
I'm Gabrielle R. Gado.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
I'm the coordinator of public programs at the Greenwood Cemetery
in addition to a crematory worker on the weekends. And
I'm thirty years old. I just turned thirty, can you tell? Okay,
So when I first started working here, I just had
a handful of keys, and then slowly but surely working
(01:41):
between so many different departments and being entrusted with a
company van and needing to get into so many spaces.
I mean, listen, this is an actual skeleton key. I
got a gate key. I was hey, it was so fun.
I was just like, wow, they like really trust me.
(02:03):
They trust me with the key to the gates of
the cemetery and they're like, yeah, well, how else are
you supposed to get in to, like get in on
time for work?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
And I was like, that's true.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
I have been working at Greenwood Cemetery just a week
before in New York City lockdown, so I've been here
since March twenty twenty, coming up on four years now.
There was a position open here and I said, okay, cool,
I'll still be working in events. And then there were
an events because we were right at the height of
(02:34):
the pandemic. So I kind of scaled back, and I
realized working with the burial orders and cremation orders and
helping out in the crematory that I was doing something
really purposeful, and that's so many people. There's just a
lack of education surrounding death, dying, grief and loss. And
(02:55):
then to realize, oh my goodness, I'm in a space
where I can and you know, take some responsibility for
making sure I know the answers to some of those questions,
so I could really show up for people. And then
I looked back and I'm like, oh, Uncle, Vinnie, Aunt Julie, Grandma,
and Grandpa. I can look back and be like, oh,
my goodness, yes, of course, like these are people that
(03:20):
showed me, you know, what a good death was, or
what grief was, what loss looked and felt like on
a large scale, and that I'm like, oh, Doug Gabrielle,
like you took a class senior year of college called
Living with Dying Studies, But I mean I took the
glass because I was like, cool, I get to watch
(03:41):
all of six feet under and like it's a class.
I think there was a part of me that this
type of knack for the work is maybe intuitive or
just as natural to me. And that could go back
very easily to the fact fact that you know, my
first memory is being at a funeral, right, Like it
(04:04):
could simply just be hey, you know, this is such
a source memory that it kind of just makes sense
to me. So yeah, there's this part where I am like,
I want to read every single book about death, dying,
grief and loss.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Watch every single.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
TV show, movie, work with every medium, talk to every
artist that's working in that space. But yeah, I think
there's a part of it that I'm like, I just
get it and I can meet you there. I can
hang out in that space. Oh, there's bogged on another
(04:40):
part of the Greenwood family. Hey Boged on Big family.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Busy.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Yeah, so listen, I have a request. Can we get
an extra box of tissues? Okay? Great?
Speaker 6 (04:58):
I'm like.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Here at the crematory at Greenwood.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
It could be a slow day, but it also could
be a rapid fire, very quick day.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Lots of families coming in.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
So on a typical Saturday like today, we've got funeral
directors coming to drop off to sdents, but also have
services with families. We have funeral directors coming in to
pick up cremated bodies to return to the loved ones.
But also we are an active cemetery and a National
(05:35):
Historic landmark, So people are coming through these gates, coming
through our offices not only asking where their loved one services,
but where's the bathroom, where's the trolley coming? You know,
where's my tour guide? So we definitely have to wear
many hats working in this office. So as of today,
(06:02):
we have done ninety seven thousand, three hundred and twenty
three cremations here at the Greenwood Cemetery. Right now, I'm
writing down our ninety seven, three hundred and twenty third
cremation Marion here. And basically what we do is everybody
gets assigned a number along with their name and what
(06:23):
funeral home that they're coming from, if it was a
service or not, what time they came in specifically, and
we have a pretty iron cloud system, I would say here,
so there's checks and balances at every office. The paperwork
comes through that, it makes its way to Gemma and
I in this office here, and then to the back
of our incredible crematory operators, which today we've got Jojo
(06:45):
and Alex.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
They're a great team.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
And they'll make sure that the paperwork stays with the
deceited the entire time.
Speaker 7 (06:53):
I got so remains Paul, Alison Noovo and Tom says.
Speaker 8 (06:59):
Hello, whole lot of good morning. I'm Alexander Ornandez started
here two thousand and six.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
We whacking.
Speaker 8 (07:08):
They don't make them like me, they don't. I'm built differently.
We'm a Creamer's horror operator. Today we have to deal
with services and families taking the deceased that come in.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
But it's pretty cool.
Speaker 8 (07:24):
With a mailman. We work in any type of weather.
It's no rain, sleep, so it's like you get to
see it all. Blizzards we work in blizzards is which
is insane. But that that alone is like, you know,
just to be like, oh, I'm outside, I'm not cooped
up in the office stressed the hell out. I mean,
because don't don't don't, don't get it twisted. It becomes
overwhelming too when you're even out in the field because
you got a lot of responsibility you got to do.
(07:46):
You know what I'm saying, make sure your job gets
done the right way in safety issues.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
It's a lot.
Speaker 8 (07:50):
But yeah, it's awesome. I wasn't rated well. I was
doing something else that wasn't really benefiting my life, to
be honest at one point. So it's like my brother
works were he was like, oh, we're hiring at the cemetery.
It's like, no, I never thought of it. I mean,
the deaf people don't bother me because they're dead. The
people that are alive we got to worry about in life.
Those are the ones we got to fear. But it's like,
(08:13):
you know, it's like when you tell people you work
at a cemetery, they get freaked out, like, oh my god,
you work. Like dude, they're dead already. They're not going
to do anything to you.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Yeah, okay, so you're dead, you died. What happens next?
So funeral director comes in depending on what the family
wants with the dead person wanted.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
The funeral home is the ones that are going to
transport the body.
Speaker 7 (08:39):
Here.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
We have a beautiful heart loading bay, so they'll come
in through there. Crematory operators will meet the funeral director
in the back, bring the casket, bring it into the back,
and then either place it into one of our chapels
for services or get staged and ready to go into
one of the retorts once all of the proper paperwork
is assigned to it.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
To be an urn that be seen.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
Sometimes we've got a service in the front, the caskets there,
the flowers are there, Maybe there's another ritual, there's singing,
there's a faith based leader there. The family is giving
the eulogy in there as well, because maybe especially if
it's a cremation, they chose not to have a wake
or the viewing services at the funeral home or parlor. Right,
(09:30):
so we'll bring some of the family and the casket
into the back right in front of the retort. Our
operators will open the doors. It's a steel door that
comes down and you know, you could see the stone
and where the fire is about to you know, really
start getting going in there, and we invite the family
if they want to to do that last part of
(09:53):
the ritual to press which it's kind of cinematic, but
it is this big red button, right, so they could
the button, so the door could come down and they
could be there right until the very start of the
cremation and then if they do a lact of witness
and that's you know, a little extra logistics on our end.
(10:13):
I've learned so much about just people from different backgrounds
and cultures and faiths to be able.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
To be entrusted to be part of that.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
But some people have specifically asked, Hey, is it okay
that I'm there for you know, ten full minutes, because
that's how long the prayer takes. And being able to
carve out that time and space talking to Gemma, talking
to Jojo and Alex in the back, Hey, like we
need a full ten minutes for this witness.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
You know, could we accommodate that?
Speaker 5 (10:42):
How could we work that out in our busy schedule today?
It is an honor and a privilege to bear witness
to a witness. I will absolutely say that I've heard
wailing like I've never heard before, and that's a testament
to how deep of a loss that that was for someone. Right,
I've heard chance prayers I'd never heard before. You know,
I'm just super Italian. So like my whole thing is
(11:04):
like it's a time to mourn, a time to dance,
Like we've all, you know, heard that in the church.
But I haven't seen Chinese rituals before. I haven't seen
you know, the elaborate costuming or you know of like
maybe a Hindu faith. So it's humbling to be able
to bear.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Witness to it all.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Douglas death work is ancient work, and if you look back,
it is a lot of women. You know, women are
the ones that in their communities really showed up for
death and for grief. Right, So I do get excited
(11:50):
about how much ritual we can bring to these experiences.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
What per here?
Speaker 7 (12:13):
Yeah, I'm Gemalabachetta, and I am the senior crematory manager
here at Greenwood Cemetery. When I first came to the
cemetery and I remember thinking about the crematory, people would
(12:35):
say to me, oh, no, they would never allow a
woman in the crematory.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
And I was like, why, what are you talking about?
Speaker 7 (12:43):
Why because I'm a woman, and now the entire staff
in the office is women. I mean, we have male operators,
but any one of us could jump in there and
help the guys out, like and we have.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
We have done that on a hectic day.
Speaker 7 (12:59):
We'll run back and we'll help out with the flowers,
cleaning up, taking a body in.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
I mean, we are able.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
To do all of that. It's just a.
Speaker 7 (13:09):
Great feeling to be able to look out and.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Be like, hey, that's us.
Speaker 7 (13:15):
Also, this is the fun office.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
The crematory office is the fun office.
Speaker 7 (13:20):
If you spent the whole day here with us, you
would see how many funeral directors just love to hang
out with us in this office.
Speaker 9 (13:28):
You're definitely part of a regular day here. I'm Monique
Walker and I do livery with Woodward Funeral Home. And
over here we have Miss Linda Linda Thompson, and.
Speaker 10 (13:41):
I am the manager slash owner.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
She rolled with my father.
Speaker 9 (13:49):
She was a funeral director who rolled with my dad,
who's no longer here, And my dad was a friend
of her dad's and that's how he got into the business.
So we're the daughters of two elder gentlemen who decided
to do this business in the livery and as funeral director.
Speaker 10 (14:02):
I was a funeral director coming into the business in
the late seventies. I've been licensed since nineteen seventy nine.
I was a young young girl, very young. So I
have been here all these years and it's a crazy world.
And things have definitely changed, yes.
Speaker 9 (14:22):
Most, but we try to hold onto tradition, yes, And
as much as things change, some things remain the same.
And there's a reason for the tradition and the way
we do things, and the grace and the empathy and
the style and the class is something we never want
to let go.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Oh, this huge typewriter.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
Let me tell you about this huge typewriter that we
have in agrevatory. So it's an IBM Wheelwriter one thousand
by Lexmark. So our typewriter is where we type those labels.
It also, I think helps with our margin of error
(15:06):
because when you're physically you know, clacking away.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Here's just.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Say cremated body of.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
And then get their name in there. But I'm not
gonna lie.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
There is a little like I feel like I'm in
Madmen and I'm like clacking away at the typewriter.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
It's kind of fun.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
It's a little antiquated, but I think, you know, we
are a Brooklyn institution that is one hundred. We just
had our one hundred and eighty fifth birthday this year.
So since numbers are very important here, I won't lie.
Usually I make a little song out of it, and
I sing the person's cremation numbers, so I make sure
(15:50):
it's matching on all the paperwork. There is a strange
little way I feel like I'm honoring the person. You know,
I'll be like they last lived in Queens, like their sisters,
their legal custodian.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Like I don't know.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Also, we don't have an insane amount of information about
these folks, right, but there's still a story there.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
I'm like, okay, wow, Like the family's gonna come in
at noon.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Maybe they needed extra time because they've got family coming
in from all over the world.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I wonder if I've ran by their apartment. Maybe I
know their son from the coffee shop. Like I have
this whole narrative.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
In my head just from like this small bit of
information or just you know, I look at their ages.
I think about who I know that is that age.
I try and like help that ground me, and you know,
instead of just flying through the paperwork and be like, oh,
you know, yeah, Harry James, you know, rest in peace.
(16:52):
He was only seventy two, but he was married. He
lived a good life out there on Eastern Parkway, Douglas.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Here we are.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
See dash nine seven three two four. All right, You're
never alone if you're in this office because these two
cabinets in front of us. Here is where the cremated
remains in their boxes sit until the funeral director and
(17:27):
or family comes to pick them up. So I'm never
alone when I'm in here. I'm like, all right, let's
see who's here. Oh John, Okay, it's weird. It's like
these people are dead. I'm like, maybe i'll name my
kid that one day. It sparks this conversation of like
life and names and legacy.
Speaker 7 (17:46):
Sometimes when you're doing this whole day, you can't get
the numbers out of your head. So I've woken up
out of dreams with cremation numbers in my head, and
of course being Italian myself, my first thing instinct is
I gotta play that number.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
I gotta play that number.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Oh my not.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
I love that you associate the lotto with being like
innately Italian American.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Tell me it's Italian thing. No, no, I'm telling you
it definitely is.
Speaker 7 (18:17):
Yah.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
See I get it.
Speaker 7 (18:18):
The numbers was always was big growing up. My father
used to play the numbers. My mother used to play
the numbers. Or guess what I play the numbers?
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Do?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Now? Well?
Speaker 4 (18:26):
You know why?
Speaker 5 (18:27):
I think why we play the numbers is because you
never know when your numbers up, so you gotta live.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Well you can't.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Good point, dear Gabriella.
Speaker 7 (18:36):
But for me, I feel that it's important that the
creamines be placed in a cemetery. You cannot even imagine
how many times we get calls from people of I
just found these cremains in a locker or a storage facility,
(18:56):
because people forget so if they're in a semi terry,
there's going to be something there that says you walk
this earth, whether it's the face of the niche that
has the person's name on it in the dates or
the urn that you see that has the engraving upon
the urn. There's going to be something that says, Harry
(19:18):
James walk this earth and was here. Everybody that walks
this planet should be memorialized.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
They should be remembered.
Speaker 7 (19:27):
It shouldn't be they were here now they're gone. Everybody
should be remembered. So when you're in a cemetery and
you look at some of the headstones that people probably
haven't had a visitor for maybe centuries, it's okay to
say that name out loud because you're remembering that person.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
One of our security guards actually on his brakes, he
would walk around and look for super old stones and
just say the name's out loud because he wanted them
to know that, you know, their names had not been
said for.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
The last time. We had a death cafe the other night.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
It's pretty much a bunch of strangers hanging out drinking
tea and coffee and cookies, talking about.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Death, dying, grief and loss.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
But we were kind of talking about signs and what
gives us comfort, and I'm like, listen, I always make
the joke like the Plumber and the Death Duel are
asking the same question, like where do we go?
Speaker 4 (20:30):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (20:31):
I don't know, but I hope everybody gets what they
believe is the other side. I hope everybody gets, you know,
what they want out of death and what they believe
it to be is right before I got the job here,
I'm like birds sitting for a friend for extra cash.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Like birds sitting, I'm like, what am I doing with
my life?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
You know?
Speaker 5 (20:50):
It's pouring rain. I'm like, you know, let me just
like you know, I'll get a car home. Something's like, no,
you gotta walk more. And I have this presence around me,
and I think of my uncle Vinnie, and I'm like,
all right, Uncle Vinny, Like if this is you though,
like is this like vulnerable woman walking around New York
City alone? Or is this like my uncle spirit is
with me? Like what is the energy this is giving?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
You know?
Speaker 5 (21:12):
And I'm like, all right, listen, you gotta give me
a sign that's abundantly like clear, like explicit as you can,
more than you ever have before. And this voice in
my head is just like two more blocks. It's torrential downpour.
So I'm all right, fine, I'm already like what.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Am I doing? Fine? I walk two more blocks. The
second I hit the second block, the fire.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Truck with his name on it drives by a lot
of times in the FDNY is when someone dies, their
name may be placed on one of the fire trucks
from like they're the engine that they were last at.
So in my uncle Vinnie's case, you know, they put
on his firetruck in loving memory of Vincent Arra and Garo.
(21:58):
I've never in my life had a moment where I
literally like it took my breath away because I was like,
that is the most explicit sign you could have given me.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
I mean, there's your name right there right.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
He died of nine eleven related cancer. He had leukemia.
We got fifteen years with him after.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Nine to eleven.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
But he, oh my god, this man his car broke
down on the Brooklyn Bridge, like they still sprinted towards
the fire because he was like, my guys are in there,
and I'm like, whatever that was, whoever that was, however
that came to be. I will always have a moment
that truly took my breath away that I found so
much comfort in that really cracked me open. I hadn't
(22:42):
cried like I hadn't had one of those good heaving
cries about my uncle until that moment, and I was
so thankful for that access point to let that kind
of grief out. I mean, I was crying as hard
as it was raining that day, and I felt connected.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
She's coming for a drama. Oh okay, yeah, yeah means her.
Speaker 9 (23:05):
No, I'm like, I won't see anything in here.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
There she is, there, she is. She has talk about fashion.
Look at you, we're just talking about I can't.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Even show you what I have the hers right now.
Well not it's no longer there.
Speaker 6 (23:21):
But I do quite unique funerals because we're in the
service business and you have to empathize and sympathize and
service your families.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
And even if it's like a little over the top,
you do it. You do it.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Today wasn't over the top day. We had two people
in the front seat. In the back it was.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
His pooch.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
And the family said it would mean a lot. It's
only a two block run, and she was so adorable.
Didn't walk nothing with its owner until very last minute.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
And I have to take him back to the crematory,
thirty one year old boy.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
And mom's in the harsh and.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I told her prayer to the Virgin mother.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
She lost her son at thirty three, not thirty one,
so she'll give her strength and for the two weeks
before Christmas. It's horrible, but somebody's got to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
And this is what.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
It's about doing with the family requests. We got one
shot my business, it's one shot.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
That's it.
Speaker 6 (24:32):
My name is Doris Virginia Ahmann. Yes, my last name
means the end. I'm of Batalian descent. I owne a
Polish funeral home in a mixed.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Fag neighborhood here in Park Slope, Brooklyn called Jerike Park
Slope Funeral Home.
Speaker 6 (24:45):
I am the president and the director, the chief cooked
and bottle washer, and I do everything from the cleaning
lady to the night crew.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
And it works.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
And I'm doing it for here almost thirty five years.
Wait at the time that I don't know, Yeah, I know,
I don't look it. Yeah, get married.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
And have kids.
Speaker 6 (25:06):
You'll never make it. Jesus Christ died, Mohammad died. Everybody dies,
it's just a transition from one to the other. I
lost one of my partners. He was fifty Pegrida cancer.
Speaker 11 (25:29):
Well.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I got so many signs from him. I told him.
Go to your sisters. They think I'm nuts.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
A lot of people get signs, a lot of people
read about the Attabaudy experience.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
A lot of people do believe in that.
Speaker 6 (25:41):
I tell my families all the time, go online, read them.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
There is something to it. There's something to it.
Speaker 6 (25:48):
I don't believe it's just over the body physically gone,
but the soul, the spirit, we go somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Absolutely, I'll bet.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
My bottom dollar on it. I'm not afraid to go
whenever that may be. Don't want to go tonight. I
got a Christmas party, however, gotta go a pleasure.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Love you to have a good weekend. Same this kid
was only seventeen.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
It's so my family doesn't really Uh, they didn't really
get it at first, you know, they're like, why do
you like? It must be you know, I'm gonna just
impersonate my mother right now. It must be so depressing.
I'm worried about you doing this every day, Like is
(26:38):
this really what you want to be doing every day?
Like isn't it a lot? But to me, it's just about, hey, yeah,
maybe that was too much and I need a little
bit of a reset.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
Maybe I just need a macho latte.
Speaker 5 (26:52):
It could be Wow, I really need to be on
the couch like in a fort like of blankets and
have nobody look.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
At me or talk to me for a weekend.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
So it's being able to evaluate and when you come
up to it identifying oh this is a machilote day
or this is a okay, I got to go buy
some bath bombs. We need candles, we need quiet, we
need incense. So yeah, I mean, this work can be
heavy sometimes, but I wouldn't want it any other way
because that means that I'm.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
With the person or people.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
Truly, it's about getting comfortable with the uncomfortable truth that
we're all going to die.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Right.
Speaker 5 (27:33):
So we've got these funeral directors that come in every day.
You know, some of these folks just have just some
great ideas and advice on how to look at death,
what to prepare for. I mean because sometimes simply I
talk to them and they're like, yeah, it was kind
of rough. We had to make a lot of decisions
rather than you know, go through the motions a little
(27:55):
bit more easily when the family came in after the
death occurred.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Right.
Speaker 5 (28:00):
It sounds silly, but you know, in this field, we
kind of term it unnecessary grief. And that's the paperwork
that wasn't done before. And that's the small things like
I want a wood casket or I don't care, I
want a cardboard box. It's all those Oh my god,
well I'm dizzy with grief. I didn't have that written
(28:20):
down anywhere. I had to make all these decisions.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
On the spot.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
And then you know, maybe there's guilt associated with that,
or confusion or just grief.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Right.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
We talk about the good death a lot, right, and
I think part of the work we do here is
helping people realize the services that are out there for
you to get like that good death and for you
to get what you want and have your family and
you know, get what they need and want out of
the experience. And my uncle Vinnie, like he got to
die in the living room you know that he built.
(28:52):
He was like, hey, go get my fedora. And I
was like why, Like you're dying, like what's going on?
Speaker 4 (28:57):
You know?
Speaker 5 (28:58):
And I got us fedora. I put it on him
and he's like, all right, get everybody around me. We're
going to watch The Godfather together one more time. And
I was like what, Like why are you cracking jokes,
like being silly, like you know, you're leaving, like maybe
in a few hours, maybe in a day, maybe in
an instant. No, I want to watch The Godfather one
more time with my family and carge us to take pictures.
(29:19):
He's like, this is a family occasion. We're all here
together for this big life and death event. And yeah,
I mean, my uncle Vinnie taught me that. He taught
me what a good death is. He taught me this
can be not a sad thing.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
This could be.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
Yeah, I'm on my way out, but like, let's hang
out one last time. This is what it could look like,
this is what it could feel like. And that's you know,
I think part of why I was crazy enough to
be like, yeah, I want to work at a cemetery
because I want to spread the gospel of death education
and give people agency in their deaths. Because I think
we think about agency in our life so much. We
(29:55):
work with that, we talk about that, we can textualize it.
There's a way to do that for our deaths as well.
I think about my own death like all too much.
But I actually enjoyed doing so because for a lot
of reasons. You know, we heard today especially from funeral
directors and the like. It really does help your loved
(30:18):
ones and helps you confront your own mortality when you
think about what you want in death. The funny thing, too,
is the more you think about what you want in death,
the more you think about what you want out of life,
and you work harder and have a whole different perspective
on it.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
That's great.
Speaker 5 (30:41):
One of our security guards. But George started off as
a Greenwood volunteer and now is like just a staple
of the institution.
Speaker 12 (30:51):
I don't think that it's just I like being helpful.
My name is George Orgrigez, and I've worked here total
of nine years. I'm actually the patrol officer today. We
have several night creatures. We have skunks number one, that's
our main line of defense. If you run into one,
(31:12):
you're marked. Two raccoons, three groundhogs. They're not much night creatures,
but they could scare you if you cross their burrow.
And then we have possums, which are our last ditch
line of defense because they look like death donned over.
(31:33):
These are creatures that have died and they come to
life to scare.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
The crap out of you. And and that's it.
Speaker 12 (31:38):
Those are the four guys that are out there, along
with the owls and bats and so on. I don't
get creeped out at here at all. Ever, if you're
coming here and you have family here, or family that's
going to be interred here, you're joining a larger family.
Everyone here is now part of the human family that's Screenwood, right,
(32:01):
So from Horace Greeley to your your aunt or uncle
or mother and father, they're now all together. So if
you're looking for someone, take note of people or stones
around you, because they're family too, and and you'll they'll
help you get there. They'll help you find your grave, easy, easy, peasy.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I love that though.
Speaker 7 (32:22):
That's because I think there's this idea that a cemetery
is like cold and alone and creepy and live.
Speaker 12 (32:29):
It's living. You got trees, you got grass, you got
the various animals we have, and people who visit are
bringing their energy, their life into it anyway, right. And
the guys who work in the grounds, people who work
in the office, they're all bringing life in here. So
wherever we are, there's going to be life.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
William B.
Speaker 7 (32:59):
Afternoon, all right.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
I would love to be composted if possible, Like you know,
I should be part of the family sauce one day,
like put me near a tomato plan.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
I don't know, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I'm home after a day at the creamatory, and yeah,
I'm so grateful. I'm ready to do it all again tomorrow, but.
Speaker 11 (33:40):
For now, I'm gonna let my honey pumpkin candle for
Marshall's glow, cling to my beetle juice pillow and kind of.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
Just take it all in before.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Before sleep
Speaker 4 (34:00):
Doora deserr honly to really
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Five point fifty five am. I quite literally just woke up.
I'm probably gonna drift back a little bit more, but
I am ready for a new day.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Good boarding at six oh five am, still in bed,
clinging to my beetlejuice and my ft and y pillows.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
So I'm just getting ready for my shift at the
Greenwood Cemetery in the crematory. I gotta be there in
about an hour and.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
A half, so.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Not too groggy. It definitely had some of those dreams
where I thought I was already awake, because usually for
a shift, I'll be up at five thirty.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
But we're gonna do it. This is finally a show
about a coordinator at a crematorium.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
Gabrielle Gatto works at the Greenwood Cemetery in New York.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
I'm Gabrielle R. Gado.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
I'm the coordinator of public programs at the Greenwood Cemetery
in addition to a crematory worker on the weekends. And
I'm thirty years old. I just turned thirty, can you tell? Okay,
So when I first started working here, I just had
a handful of keys, and then slowly but surely working
(01:41):
between so many different departments and being entrusted with a
company van and needing to get into so many spaces.
I mean, listen, this is an actual skeleton key. I
got a gate key. I was hey, it was so fun.
I was just like, wow, they like really trust me.
(02:03):
They trust me with the key to the gates of
the cemetery and they're like, yeah, well, how else are
you supposed to get in to, like get in on
time for work?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
And I was like, that's true.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
I have been working at Greenwood Cemetery just a week
before in New York City lockdown, so I've been here
since March twenty twenty, coming up on four years now.
There was a position open here and I said, okay, cool,
I'll still be working in events. And then there were
an events because we were right at the height of
(02:34):
the pandemic. So I kind of scaled back, and I
realized working with the burial orders and cremation orders and
helping out in the crematory that I was doing something
really purposeful, and that's so many people. There's just a
lack of education surrounding death, dying, grief and loss. And
(02:55):
then to realize, oh my goodness, I'm in a space
where I can and you know, take some responsibility for
making sure I know the answers to some of those questions,
so I could really show up for people. And then
I looked back and I'm like, oh, Uncle, Vinnie, Aunt Julie, Grandma,
and Grandpa. I can look back and be like, oh,
my goodness, yes, of course, like these are people that
(03:20):
showed me, you know, what a good death was, or
what grief was, what loss looked and felt like on
a large scale, and that I'm like, oh, Doug Gabrielle,
like you took a class senior year of college called
Living with Dying Studies, But I mean I took the
glass because I was like, cool, I get to watch
(03:41):
all of six feet under and like it's a class.
I think there was a part of me that this
type of knack for the work is maybe intuitive or
just as natural to me. And that could go back
very easily to the fact fact that you know, my
first memory is being at a funeral, right, Like it
(04:04):
could simply just be hey, you know, this is such
a source memory that it kind of just makes sense
to me. So yeah, there's this part where I am like,
I want to read every single book about death, dying,
grief and loss.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Watch every single.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
TV show, movie, work with every medium, talk to every
artist that's working in that space. But yeah, I think
there's a part of it that I'm like, I just
get it and I can meet you there. I can
hang out in that space. Oh, there's bogged on another
(04:40):
part of the Greenwood family. Hey Boged on Big family.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Busy.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Yeah, so listen, I have a request. Can we get
an extra box of tissues? Okay? Great?
Speaker 6 (04:58):
I'm like.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Here at the crematory at Greenwood.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
It could be a slow day, but it also could
be a rapid fire, very quick day.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Lots of families coming in.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
So on a typical Saturday like today, we've got funeral
directors coming to drop off to sdents, but also have
services with families. We have funeral directors coming in to
pick up cremated bodies to return to the loved ones.
But also we are an active cemetery and a National
(05:35):
Historic landmark, So people are coming through these gates, coming
through our offices not only asking where their loved one services,
but where's the bathroom, where's the trolley coming? You know,
where's my tour guide? So we definitely have to wear
many hats working in this office. So as of today,
(06:02):
we have done ninety seven thousand, three hundred and twenty
three cremations here at the Greenwood Cemetery. Right now, I'm
writing down our ninety seven, three hundred and twenty third
cremation Marion here. And basically what we do is everybody
gets assigned a number along with their name and what
(06:23):
funeral home that they're coming from, if it was a
service or not, what time they came in specifically, and
we have a pretty iron cloud system, I would say here,
so there's checks and balances at every office. The paperwork
comes through that, it makes its way to Gemma and
I in this office here, and then to the back
of our incredible crematory operators, which today we've got Jojo
(06:45):
and Alex.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
They're a great team.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
And they'll make sure that the paperwork stays with the
deceited the entire time.
Speaker 7 (06:53):
I got so remains Paul, Alison Noovo and Tom says.
Speaker 8 (06:59):
Hello, whole lot of good morning. I'm Alexander Ornandez started
here two thousand and six.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
We whacking.
Speaker 8 (07:08):
They don't make them like me, they don't. I'm built differently.
We'm a Creamer's horror operator. Today we have to deal
with services and families taking the deceased that come in.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
But it's pretty cool.
Speaker 8 (07:24):
With a mailman. We work in any type of weather.
It's no rain, sleep, so it's like you get to
see it all. Blizzards we work in blizzards is which
is insane. But that that alone is like, you know,
just to be like, oh, I'm outside, I'm not cooped
up in the office stressed the hell out. I mean,
because don't don't don't, don't get it twisted. It becomes
overwhelming too when you're even out in the field because
you got a lot of responsibility you got to do.
(07:46):
You know what I'm saying, make sure your job gets
done the right way in safety issues.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
It's a lot.
Speaker 8 (07:50):
But yeah, it's awesome. I wasn't rated well. I was
doing something else that wasn't really benefiting my life, to
be honest at one point. So it's like my brother
works were he was like, oh, we're hiring at the cemetery.
It's like, no, I never thought of it. I mean,
the deaf people don't bother me because they're dead. The
people that are alive we got to worry about in life.
Those are the ones we got to fear. But it's like,
(08:13):
you know, it's like when you tell people you work
at a cemetery, they get freaked out, like, oh my god,
you work. Like dude, they're dead already. They're not going
to do anything to you.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Yeah, okay, so you're dead, you died. What happens next?
So funeral director comes in depending on what the family
wants with the dead person wanted.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
The funeral home is the ones that are going to
transport the body.
Speaker 7 (08:39):
Here.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
We have a beautiful heart loading bay, so they'll come
in through there. Crematory operators will meet the funeral director
in the back, bring the casket, bring it into the back,
and then either place it into one of our chapels
for services or get staged and ready to go into
one of the retorts once all of the proper paperwork
is assigned to it.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
To be an urn that be seen.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
Sometimes we've got a service in the front, the caskets there,
the flowers are there, Maybe there's another ritual, there's singing,
there's a faith based leader there. The family is giving
the eulogy in there as well, because maybe especially if
it's a cremation, they chose not to have a wake
or the viewing services at the funeral home or parlor. Right,
(09:30):
so we'll bring some of the family and the casket
into the back right in front of the retort. Our
operators will open the doors. It's a steel door that
comes down and you know, you could see the stone
and where the fire is about to you know, really
start getting going in there, and we invite the family
if they want to to do that last part of
(09:53):
the ritual to press which it's kind of cinematic, but
it is this big red button, right, so they could
the button, so the door could come down and they
could be there right until the very start of the
cremation and then if they do a lact of witness
and that's you know, a little extra logistics on our end.
(10:13):
I've learned so much about just people from different backgrounds
and cultures and faiths to be able.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
To be entrusted to be part of that.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
But some people have specifically asked, Hey, is it okay
that I'm there for you know, ten full minutes, because
that's how long the prayer takes. And being able to
carve out that time and space talking to Gemma, talking
to Jojo and Alex in the back, Hey, like we
need a full ten minutes for this witness.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
You know, could we accommodate that?
Speaker 5 (10:42):
How could we work that out in our busy schedule today?
It is an honor and a privilege to bear witness
to a witness. I will absolutely say that I've heard
wailing like I've never heard before, and that's a testament
to how deep of a loss that that was for someone. Right,
I've heard chance prayers I'd never heard before. You know,
I'm just super Italian. So like my whole thing is
(11:04):
like it's a time to mourn, a time to dance,
Like we've all, you know, heard that in the church.
But I haven't seen Chinese rituals before. I haven't seen
you know, the elaborate costuming or you know of like
maybe a Hindu faith. So it's humbling to be able
to bear.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Witness to it all.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Douglas death work is ancient work, and if you look back,
it is a lot of women. You know, women are
the ones that in their communities really showed up for
death and for grief. Right, So I do get excited
(11:50):
about how much ritual we can bring to these experiences.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
What per here?
Speaker 7 (12:13):
Yeah, I'm Gemalabachetta, and I am the senior crematory manager
here at Greenwood Cemetery. When I first came to the
cemetery and I remember thinking about the crematory, people would
(12:35):
say to me, oh, no, they would never allow a
woman in the crematory.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
And I was like, why, what are you talking about?
Speaker 7 (12:43):
Why because I'm a woman, and now the entire staff
in the office is women. I mean, we have male operators,
but any one of us could jump in there and
help the guys out, like and we have.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
We have done that on a hectic day.
Speaker 7 (12:59):
We'll run back and we'll help out with the flowers,
cleaning up, taking a body in.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
I mean, we are able.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
To do all of that. It's just a.
Speaker 7 (13:09):
Great feeling to be able to look out and.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Be like, hey, that's us.
Speaker 7 (13:15):
Also, this is the fun office.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
The crematory office is the fun office.
Speaker 7 (13:20):
If you spent the whole day here with us, you
would see how many funeral directors just love to hang
out with us in this office.
Speaker 9 (13:28):
You're definitely part of a regular day here. I'm Monique
Walker and I do livery with Woodward Funeral Home. And
over here we have Miss Linda Linda Thompson, and.
Speaker 10 (13:41):
I am the manager slash owner.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
She rolled with my father.
Speaker 9 (13:49):
She was a funeral director who rolled with my dad,
who's no longer here, And my dad was a friend
of her dad's and that's how he got into the business.
So we're the daughters of two elder gentlemen who decided
to do this business in the livery and as funeral director.
Speaker 10 (14:02):
I was a funeral director coming into the business in
the late seventies. I've been licensed since nineteen seventy nine.
I was a young young girl, very young. So I
have been here all these years and it's a crazy world.
And things have definitely changed, yes.
Speaker 9 (14:22):
Most, but we try to hold onto tradition, yes, And
as much as things change, some things remain the same.
And there's a reason for the tradition and the way
we do things, and the grace and the empathy and
the style and the class is something we never want
to let go.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Oh, this huge typewriter.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
Let me tell you about this huge typewriter that we
have in agrevatory. So it's an IBM Wheelwriter one thousand
by Lexmark. So our typewriter is where we type those labels.
It also, I think helps with our margin of error
(15:06):
because when you're physically you know, clacking away.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Here's just.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Say cremated body of.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
And then get their name in there. But I'm not
gonna lie.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
There is a little like I feel like I'm in
Madmen and I'm like clacking away at the typewriter.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
It's kind of fun.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
It's a little antiquated, but I think, you know, we
are a Brooklyn institution that is one hundred. We just
had our one hundred and eighty fifth birthday this year.
So since numbers are very important here, I won't lie.
Usually I make a little song out of it, and
I sing the person's cremation numbers, so I make sure
(15:50):
it's matching on all the paperwork. There is a strange
little way I feel like I'm honoring the person. You know,
I'll be like they last lived in Queens, like their sisters,
their legal custodian.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Like I don't know.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Also, we don't have an insane amount of information about
these folks, right, but there's still a story there.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
I'm like, okay, wow, Like the family's gonna come in
at noon.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Maybe they needed extra time because they've got family coming
in from all over the world.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I wonder if I've ran by their apartment. Maybe I
know their son from the coffee shop. Like I have
this whole narrative.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
In my head just from like this small bit of
information or just you know, I look at their ages.
I think about who I know that is that age.
I try and like help that ground me, and you know,
instead of just flying through the paperwork and be like, oh,
you know, yeah, Harry James, you know, rest in peace.
(16:52):
He was only seventy two, but he was married. He
lived a good life out there on Eastern Parkway, Douglas.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Here we are.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
See dash nine seven three two four. All right, You're
never alone if you're in this office because these two
cabinets in front of us. Here is where the cremated
remains in their boxes sit until the funeral director and
(17:27):
or family comes to pick them up. So I'm never
alone when I'm in here. I'm like, all right, let's
see who's here. Oh John, Okay, it's weird. It's like
these people are dead. I'm like, maybe i'll name my
kid that one day. It sparks this conversation of like
life and names and legacy.
Speaker 7 (17:46):
Sometimes when you're doing this whole day, you can't get
the numbers out of your head. So I've woken up
out of dreams with cremation numbers in my head, and
of course being Italian myself, my first thing instinct is
I gotta play that number.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
I gotta play that number.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Oh my not.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
I love that you associate the lotto with being like
innately Italian American.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Tell me it's Italian thing. No, no, I'm telling you
it definitely is.
Speaker 7 (18:17):
Yah.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
See I get it.
Speaker 7 (18:18):
The numbers was always was big growing up. My father
used to play the numbers. My mother used to play
the numbers. Or guess what I play the numbers?
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Do?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Now? Well?
Speaker 4 (18:26):
You know why?
Speaker 5 (18:27):
I think why we play the numbers is because you
never know when your numbers up, so you gotta live.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Well you can't.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Good point, dear Gabriella.
Speaker 7 (18:36):
But for me, I feel that it's important that the
creamines be placed in a cemetery. You cannot even imagine
how many times we get calls from people of I
just found these cremains in a locker or a storage facility,
(18:56):
because people forget so if they're in a semi terry,
there's going to be something there that says you walk
this earth, whether it's the face of the niche that
has the person's name on it in the dates or
the urn that you see that has the engraving upon
the urn. There's going to be something that says, Harry
(19:18):
James walk this earth and was here. Everybody that walks
this planet should be memorialized.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
They should be remembered.
Speaker 7 (19:27):
It shouldn't be they were here now they're gone. Everybody
should be remembered. So when you're in a cemetery and
you look at some of the headstones that people probably
haven't had a visitor for maybe centuries, it's okay to
say that name out loud because you're remembering that person.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
One of our security guards actually on his brakes, he
would walk around and look for super old stones and
just say the name's out loud because he wanted them
to know that, you know, their names had not been
said for.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
The last time. We had a death cafe the other night.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
It's pretty much a bunch of strangers hanging out drinking
tea and coffee and cookies, talking about.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Death, dying, grief and loss.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
But we were kind of talking about signs and what
gives us comfort, and I'm like, listen, I always make
the joke like the Plumber and the Death Duel are
asking the same question, like where do we go?
Speaker 4 (20:30):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (20:31):
I don't know, but I hope everybody gets what they
believe is the other side. I hope everybody gets, you know,
what they want out of death and what they believe
it to be is right before I got the job here,
I'm like birds sitting for a friend for extra cash.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Like birds sitting, I'm like, what am I doing with
my life?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
You know?
Speaker 5 (20:50):
It's pouring rain. I'm like, you know, let me just
like you know, I'll get a car home. Something's like, no,
you gotta walk more. And I have this presence around me,
and I think of my uncle Vinnie, and I'm like,
all right, Uncle Vinny, Like if this is you though,
like is this like vulnerable woman walking around New York
City alone? Or is this like my uncle spirit is
with me? Like what is the energy this is giving?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
You know?
Speaker 5 (21:12):
And I'm like, all right, listen, you gotta give me
a sign that's abundantly like clear, like explicit as you can,
more than you ever have before. And this voice in
my head is just like two more blocks. It's torrential downpour.
So I'm all right, fine, I'm already like what.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Am I doing? Fine? I walk two more blocks. The
second I hit the second block, the fire.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Truck with his name on it drives by a lot
of times in the FDNY is when someone dies, their
name may be placed on one of the fire trucks
from like they're the engine that they were last at.
So in my uncle Vinnie's case, you know, they put
on his firetruck in loving memory of Vincent Arra and Garo.
(21:58):
I've never in my life had a moment where I
literally like it took my breath away because I was like,
that is the most explicit sign you could have given me.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
I mean, there's your name right there right.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
He died of nine eleven related cancer. He had leukemia.
We got fifteen years with him after.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Nine to eleven.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
But he, oh my god, this man his car broke
down on the Brooklyn Bridge, like they still sprinted towards
the fire because he was like, my guys are in there,
and I'm like, whatever that was, whoever that was, however
that came to be. I will always have a moment
that truly took my breath away that I found so
much comfort in that really cracked me open. I hadn't
(22:42):
cried like I hadn't had one of those good heaving
cries about my uncle until that moment, and I was
so thankful for that access point to let that kind
of grief out. I mean, I was crying as hard
as it was raining that day, and I felt connected.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
She's coming for a drama. Oh okay, yeah, yeah means her.
Speaker 9 (23:05):
No, I'm like, I won't see anything in here.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
There she is, there, she is. She has talk about fashion.
Look at you, we're just talking about I can't.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Even show you what I have the hers right now.
Well not it's no longer there.
Speaker 6 (23:21):
But I do quite unique funerals because we're in the
service business and you have to empathize and sympathize and
service your families.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
And even if it's like a little over the top,
you do it. You do it.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Today wasn't over the top day. We had two people
in the front seat. In the back it was.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
His pooch.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
And the family said it would mean a lot. It's
only a two block run, and she was so adorable.
Didn't walk nothing with its owner until very last minute.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
And I have to take him back to the crematory,
thirty one year old boy.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
And mom's in the harsh and.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I told her prayer to the Virgin mother.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
She lost her son at thirty three, not thirty one,
so she'll give her strength and for the two weeks
before Christmas. It's horrible, but somebody's got to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
And this is what.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
It's about doing with the family requests. We got one
shot my business, it's one shot.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
That's it.
Speaker 6 (24:32):
My name is Doris Virginia Ahmann. Yes, my last name
means the end. I'm of Batalian descent. I owne a
Polish funeral home in a mixed.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Fag neighborhood here in Park Slope, Brooklyn called Jerike Park
Slope Funeral Home.
Speaker 6 (24:45):
I am the president and the director, the chief cooked
and bottle washer, and I do everything from the cleaning
lady to the night crew.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
And it works.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
And I'm doing it for here almost thirty five years.
Wait at the time that I don't know, Yeah, I know,
I don't look it. Yeah, get married.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
And have kids.
Speaker 6 (25:06):
You'll never make it. Jesus Christ died, Mohammad died. Everybody dies,
it's just a transition from one to the other. I
lost one of my partners. He was fifty Pegrida cancer.
Speaker 11 (25:29):
Well.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I got so many signs from him. I told him.
Go to your sisters. They think I'm nuts.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
A lot of people get signs, a lot of people
read about the Attabaudy experience.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
A lot of people do believe in that.
Speaker 6 (25:41):
I tell my families all the time, go online, read them.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
There is something to it. There's something to it.
Speaker 6 (25:48):
I don't believe it's just over the body physically gone,
but the soul, the spirit, we go somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Absolutely, I'll bet.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
My bottom dollar on it. I'm not afraid to go
whenever that may be. Don't want to go tonight. I
got a Christmas party, however, gotta go a pleasure.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Love you to have a good weekend. Same this kid
was only seventeen.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
It's so my family doesn't really Uh, they didn't really
get it at first, you know, they're like, why do
you like? It must be you know, I'm gonna just
impersonate my mother right now. It must be so depressing.
I'm worried about you doing this every day, Like is
(26:38):
this really what you want to be doing every day?
Like isn't it a lot? But to me, it's just about, hey, yeah,
maybe that was too much and I need a little
bit of a reset.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
Maybe I just need a macho latte.
Speaker 5 (26:52):
It could be Wow, I really need to be on
the couch like in a fort like of blankets and
have nobody look.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
At me or talk to me for a weekend.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
So it's being able to evaluate and when you come
up to it identifying oh this is a machilote day
or this is a okay, I got to go buy
some bath bombs. We need candles, we need quiet, we
need incense. So yeah, I mean, this work can be
heavy sometimes, but I wouldn't want it any other way
because that means that I'm.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
With the person or people.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
Truly, it's about getting comfortable with the uncomfortable truth that
we're all going to die.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Right.
Speaker 5 (27:33):
So we've got these funeral directors that come in every day.
You know, some of these folks just have just some
great ideas and advice on how to look at death,
what to prepare for. I mean because sometimes simply I
talk to them and they're like, yeah, it was kind
of rough. We had to make a lot of decisions
rather than you know, go through the motions a little
(27:55):
bit more easily when the family came in after the
death occurred.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Right.
Speaker 5 (28:00):
It sounds silly, but you know, in this field, we
kind of term it unnecessary grief. And that's the paperwork
that wasn't done before. And that's the small things like
I want a wood casket or I don't care, I
want a cardboard box. It's all those Oh my god,
well I'm dizzy with grief. I didn't have that written
(28:20):
down anywhere. I had to make all these decisions.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
On the spot.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
And then you know, maybe there's guilt associated with that,
or confusion or just grief.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Right.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
We talk about the good death a lot, right, and
I think part of the work we do here is
helping people realize the services that are out there for
you to get like that good death and for you
to get what you want and have your family and
you know, get what they need and want out of
the experience. And my uncle Vinnie, like he got to
die in the living room you know that he built.
(28:52):
He was like, hey, go get my fedora. And I
was like why, Like you're dying, like what's going on?
Speaker 4 (28:57):
You know?
Speaker 5 (28:58):
And I got us fedora. I put it on him
and he's like, all right, get everybody around me. We're
going to watch The Godfather together one more time. And
I was like what, Like why are you cracking jokes,
like being silly, like you know, you're leaving, like maybe
in a few hours, maybe in a day, maybe in
an instant. No, I want to watch The Godfather one
more time with my family and carge us to take pictures.
(29:19):
He's like, this is a family occasion. We're all here
together for this big life and death event. And yeah,
I mean, my uncle Vinnie taught me that. He taught
me what a good death is. He taught me this
can be not a sad thing.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
This could be.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
Yeah, I'm on my way out, but like, let's hang
out one last time. This is what it could look like,
this is what it could feel like. And that's you know,
I think part of why I was crazy enough to
be like, yeah, I want to work at a cemetery
because I want to spread the gospel of death education
and give people agency in their deaths. Because I think
we think about agency in our life so much. We
(29:55):
work with that, we talk about that, we can textualize it.
There's a way to do that for our deaths as well.
I think about my own death like all too much.
But I actually enjoyed doing so because for a lot
of reasons. You know, we heard today especially from funeral
directors and the like. It really does help your loved
(30:18):
ones and helps you confront your own mortality when you
think about what you want in death. The funny thing, too,
is the more you think about what you want in death,
the more you think about what you want out of life,
and you work harder and have a whole different perspective
on it.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
That's great.
Speaker 5 (30:41):
One of our security guards. But George started off as
a Greenwood volunteer and now is like just a staple
of the institution.
Speaker 12 (30:51):
I don't think that it's just I like being helpful.
My name is George Orgrigez, and I've worked here total
of nine years. I'm actually the patrol officer today. We
have several night creatures. We have skunks number one, that's
our main line of defense. If you run into one,
(31:12):
you're marked. Two raccoons, three groundhogs. They're not much night creatures,
but they could scare you if you cross their burrow.
And then we have possums, which are our last ditch
line of defense because they look like death donned over.
(31:33):
These are creatures that have died and they come to
life to scare.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
The crap out of you. And and that's it.
Speaker 12 (31:38):
Those are the four guys that are out there, along
with the owls and bats and so on. I don't
get creeped out at here at all. Ever, if you're
coming here and you have family here, or family that's
going to be interred here, you're joining a larger family.
Everyone here is now part of the human family that's Screenwood, right,
(32:01):
So from Horace Greeley to your your aunt or uncle
or mother and father, they're now all together. So if
you're looking for someone, take note of people or stones
around you, because they're family too, and and you'll they'll
help you get there. They'll help you find your grave, easy, easy, peasy.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I love that though.
Speaker 7 (32:22):
That's because I think there's this idea that a cemetery
is like cold and alone and creepy and live.
Speaker 12 (32:29):
It's living. You got trees, you got grass, you got
the various animals we have, and people who visit are
bringing their energy, their life into it anyway, right. And
the guys who work in the grounds, people who work
in the office, they're all bringing life in here. So
wherever we are, there's going to be life.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
William B.
Speaker 7 (32:59):
Afternoon, all right.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
I would love to be composted if possible, Like you know,
I should be part of the family sauce one day,
like put me near a tomato plan.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
I don't know, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I'm home after a day at the creamatory, and yeah,
I'm so grateful. I'm ready to do it all again tomorrow, but.
Speaker 11 (33:40):
For now, I'm gonna let my honey pumpkin candle for
Marshall's glow, cling to my beetle juice pillow and kind of.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
Just take it all in before.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Before sleep
Speaker 4 (34:00):
Doora deserr honly to really
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