July 20, 2021 • 44 mins
On this episode of Food Court with Richard Blais our judge will have to decide a very regional debate. In NY/NJ delis and bodegas egg and cheese sandwiches are a way of life; but what defines these popular sandwiches? Chris Gethard (Beautiful/Anonymous, The Chris Gethard Show) is here to argue that the parameters are very specific while Hallie Bulleit (Punk News podcast) thinks it's more loosey goosey, and she can do what she wants. Who is right? Who is wrong? Richard, a native New Yorker, will have to think long and hard about this one but either way there mayyyyy be some hate mail in his future.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Creamy Creamy food Court. Food Court, food Court with Richard Blaze.
Argue in the food Court Court with rich Blaze. Welcome
(00:33):
to the food Court, a production of I Heart Radio.
Welcome back to the court everyone. I am your honorable
Judge Richard Blaze presiding. Crystal wrote in the honorable part
that is still in question. Joining us in the court today.
We have a comedian and a writer and the host
of the podcast Beautiful Anonymous coming to the food court
straight from New Jersey. It's Chris Gathered. Hello, thank you
(00:56):
for having me. I'm ready to settle some disputes. Thank
you how much. Oh my gosh, coming in, soft spoken
but ready to fight, you can tell. And here to
argue with Chris. We have a performing artist who made
her Broadway debut and Rent and has made music with
her bands The Unlovables and Hiccup. It's Hallie Bullet. Hello.
(01:17):
I'm not going to be so quiet. And Chris and
I don't really disagree about anything ever except this, this
this food debate, so I'm happy to get into it.
Oh my gosh. And you can tell they're not revealing
what the argument is now. This is what everyone in
the courts wants to know, how do you two know
each other? Well, we live in the same house, and
(01:39):
we raise a child together, and we had the child together,
so that we know each other in passing Ali Well,
we we met doing the Chris Gothard Show and we
fell madly in love and now we're married and have
a beautiful baby. So that's you know, that's the more
romantic version. Yes, very very similar to my wife, Jasmine
and I. We all thought it was not the Chris
(02:00):
Gether Show where we met, but it was. It was.
It was a workplace, you know, so and and now
I won I understand not to get to real life here,
but from reporting is reporting is that there is a
two year old running around with glitter in the household
right now. So I just literally just bought him like
a pink glittery ball that you're supposed to be able
(02:21):
to like squish and squeeze and it's supposed to be
like very gratifying, and he was like just enjoying it,
and it exploded everywhere. I mean he I don't think
it was even in the house longer than about two
minutes before. We just had like goo and pink glitter
all over the house. So yeah, we were, we were
Chris had to put just put him in the back.
It literally looked like um, like he had been part
(02:43):
of like an explosion in a glitter factory. Was like
all over his face and all of his clothes. Like
we just had to start over. We had to put
him in the tub and start over. Today, I feel
like it's a rite of passage, the glitter accident. It
looks like a very adorable industrial accident as well. It's
pretty bad. I love it, right, It's like you know
(03:04):
what's going to happen, Markers on the wall. All right. Now, listen,
you two have brought a hot button case to my
court today, the case of the egg and cheese sandwich.
This is a very East Coast case. As a native
New Yorker, just to be clear, so both of you
know that I understand this case a little bit, but
can you explain to maybe everyone else who's outside of
(03:25):
the Tri state area. And I don't even know if
Connecticut counts in this argument, but definitely New York and
New Jersey, can you explain what an egg and cheese
sandwich is in the most basic ways, what the Bodega
sandwich way of life is. Hence, the disagreement. This is
why I take a deep breath. So I'm glad to
hear you're a New Yorker. I grew up in North Jersey.
How he grew up in Westchester. How he's born in Manhattan.
(03:46):
So the egg and cheese sandwich is pretty biquitous, right,
Like any Delhi in our area of the world, you
go in and you order an egg and cheese, they'll
make it, and they'll make it good. And we have
a little bit of an issue where we will go
out to get them, and Hallie will often ask me
to check if I can get hers on a croissant
(04:08):
and it I can't lie. It does bother me. It
does bother me. And this is why we're here before
you today because I understand that that is a sandwich
that contains egg and cheese. But I feel like an
egg and cheese sandwich is on a roll. I feel
like you go into any Delhi in the New York,
New Jersey area you ask for you go, can I
(04:29):
get an egg and cheese sandwich? The assumption is that's
coming out on a hard roll. If you want to
switch it to something else, I feel like you've now
added some caveats, and I don't know that that's an
egg and cheese sandwich. Personally, I don't know that that's
an egg. Okay, we're gonna get into We're gonna get
into the actual debate and I know Halle has a
different opinion here. But before we do get into the
hard hitting part of the case today, Chris, what are
(04:50):
your favorite things about New Jersey that are not egg
and cheese sandwiches on hard rolls. Oh, I'm I'm sort
of obsessed with New Jersey historically. I when I was
in my twenties, I worked at a magazine about haunted
places in New Jersey, and I just think New Jersey
gets such a bad rap. I think people think of
it as this grimy, dirty, classless place full of like
(05:12):
the mafia and snooky and and the Jersey Shore archetypes,
and it's this really really strange place where I think
those of us who love it will say all of
that is entirely true. Like, I'm not, I'm not an idiot.
Like if you've flown into the North Airport, you've seen
the area that surrounds it. It's like a healthscape. I'm not.
I'm not, I'm not dumb, like I know that it
(05:32):
is polluted. I know that guidos are real. I know
that when you go to Seaside Heights, you're going to
see a fight on the boardwalk from people who look
like they've been painted bright orange. Like that's real. But
it's also full of people who are like hard working
and honest, and there's a lot more natural beauty than
anyone would ever expect if you haven't looked into it.
And I just think that it's like a land of
(05:54):
of hardworking people who enjoy a lot of beautiful stuff,
and it's all kind of obscured by like the cloud
of all the jokes about this place and all the
you know, we kind of take it on the chin
like that it's a punch line. It's kind of an
international punch line New Jersey. So I do give it.
I get very defensive about it, but I love it
(06:16):
to death, and most of that's rooted in the people
I think it's really I think it's just like really
hard working people who have a chip on their shoulder
in just the most positive way that you can put
that out there. Although it can be gruff, can be
tough to get to the good of Jersey people. At
times we're a defensive lot, But overall, I think if
you're in a situation where you need somebody to get
(06:36):
your back, you want that person to be from Jersey.
I swear by that fair enough. What a what a
love letter right there to New Jersey. Again, as a
native New Yorker, I just like, you know, you tug
on mom or Dad's coatail at one point you're like, Mom, Dad,
what's over there with all the smoke stacks across the bridge,
and like that's how it starts. And then you watch
a Batman movie and the villains are from places with
(06:57):
giant smoke stacks, and you know, and and that's that's
that's a bad stereotype. So thank you so much for
that sweet love letter. Also, Crystal tells me Chris that
you are a soda aficionado. Oh yeah, we could talk
all day about that, Hallie. Actually, I would actually argue that,
and and this is not something I'm not like certain
of this, but I would bet that there was a
(07:19):
stretch around like twoteen fifteen where I probably had one
of the better soda collections you were going to find
anywhere in the world. I would actually put money on
that and I think we moved it twice, and I
think it was when we had a third move coming
up that Halle finally was like, please don't make movers
carry like gallons and gallons of liquid in glass butt,
(07:40):
Like we can't just keep lugging this stuff around in trucks.
You have to drink it or get rid of it.
So I drank my soda. This I love. So it
was like I once had a burger restaurant that had
a soda reserve list that you would have been the
only person, by the way, that would have appreciated this,
Like no one got this, no one got there, like oh,
the reserve wine list. But with soda you can get
a nineteen seventy three tab, you know, Like no one
(08:00):
got it, but you would have appreciate it. This is
my dream. We could talk all day. I have. I'm
specifically obsessed with like long running regionally bottled brands, Like
you go to Kentucky, there's a drink called l a One,
They've been drinking it forever. You go to Maine, they've
been drinking Maxie forever. And there's history in them and
(08:20):
some of the flavor like Maxie, a lot of people
not from that main area find it to be very medicinal.
But you drink it, you guys, Oh, this is like
somebody's grandparents were drinking this in Maine, and this is
like a taste of something that you don't get on
a supermarket shelf in the broad sense. And I think
there's a lot of culture tied into that, a throwback
to when licorice was candy. Yes, when Chris and I
(08:42):
were planning our wedding, like, Chris, this thing is soda
and I love candy, and so like I would say,
like a big, like part percentage of our wedding planning
was like trying to figure out exactly what soda and
candy we wanted at our wedding and then there was
like a huge, huge, huge spread. But yeah, we spent
way too much time on it. Other people are like
worrying about like the guest list of what people are
(09:04):
going to eat, and we're like, yeah, we were mostly
just fussing over like soda and candy. Yeah, oh I
love this. So Halley, if if if Chris is you know, soda,
he's talking about moxi, right, Like, what is the candy
then that you use as this in this example. Cherry mash. Baby,
it's got to be cherry mash. That's my favorite favorite candy.
And it's very hard to find. Okay, so you'd love it.
(09:28):
She has converted me. It's the best candy, the best, Chris,
I have no objectivity described cherry mash. Cherry mash is
made in Missouri. It's extremely hard to find outside of Missouri,
even in like even in vintage candy stores like even
is it Empire? What's the candy store on the lowery side. Oh,
(09:49):
economy candy, economy candy, like even they don't very often
have it. And that place says everything. It's basically imagine
a really well made York peppermint patty, but with a
cherry filling instead of a mint filling. And and and you're
getting close to what's in there, and it is something
so but it's not a patty. It's like a giant
ball of like chocolate and cherry like goodness, it's like
(10:11):
a whole cherry. It's like a kind of a whole
gushy cherry. No, it's like this cherry filth. It's like
this filthy sweet like creamy like yeah, there's no actual
like cherry. There's no recognizable actual cherry in this candy.
It's just like, oh my cross cherry goodness. There's a
similar candy called Big Cherry that I think does have
(10:33):
a cherry inside it, but it's not as good. And
Big Cherry get out of here. And if Cherry Mash.
If Halle is allowed to air out cherry Mash as
her favorite candy, which I agree with, I feel like
I am honor bound to say that if it comes
to soda, I would actually recommend. There's a drink called Mr.
Cucumber spelled with a Q Mr Cucumber that, for my money,
(10:53):
is the ultimate drink. It's the apex Predator of drinks
and everyone should try it at least once in the time.
And it's obviously flavored of cucumber. You you wouldn't believe
because it's but it's not a Seltzer Richard, that's the thing.
You think cucumber fizz, you think something more like a Seltzer.
This is a definitively sugary soda that captures and enhances
(11:14):
the flavor of cucumber. And I have hyped it up
to people big to the point where they say it's
not going to be as good as you're saying, and
then consistently when they try it, they go, it's better
than it's better than. I am right, respect, I like
the celery soda, so I'm down with the cucumber you're
talking about sell right here? We got Brown's. Yeah. Now,
if you do cherry mash and cheer one, is it
too much? Is it too much cherry? And you have
(11:36):
too much cherry? Is this another spinoff episode of Food Court?
I might not pair them. I might. I might. In fact, actually,
as we're talking about this, I'm feeling like the heavy
cherry bomb aspect of a cherry mash with like the light,
refreshing delightfulness of a mr Q. I feel like that
would be a great combo. I would do that in heartbeat,
(11:56):
great comba. Okay, let's listen. Who wants the gethered bullet
Blaze soda candy pop up mash up shop? I mean this, this,
This has never happened in the court where I've wanted
to strike a business deal with with the people who
are arguing. But there it is. Everyone. I have long
thought about abandoning my entertainment career to start some sort
of soda business. So if you're serious about that I
(12:18):
would love to follow up off air because this is
my dream conversation and Holly can vouch for me. Yeah,
I mean, we're unbelieve heaven is a place on earth. Baby.
If this would be this would be awesome. And if
you're talking, it is cheer wine desserts. If you haven't
made yourself a cheer wine float with vanilla ice cream,
thank me later because it's have you really lived? It's
something something special now there's ice cream involved. Okay, this
(12:42):
is getting out of control. I might not be able
to make a decision today because we're just vibing so
so well, Hally real quick though, you you tour, both
of you tour, right, But I've just started sort of
doing the touring sort of what do you eat as
a musician and bands on the road? Hallie, what are
your go to? Like? Say it? I'll tell you it's
night and day from when I started. So when I
(13:02):
first started touring, the first tour I ever went on,
I was on tour for a year and a half straight,
and I didn't eat well, right because it was like
the nineties and I don't know, I'm a vegetarian, so
I was like eating eating, eating a lot of garbage
and a lot of sides. Like back in those days,
like you'd roll up to a restaurant with your fells
and if you were a vegetarian, you knew you were
(13:23):
just eating sides all night. That was it. That we
only got options. But things have totally changed now. I
would say like the iPhone was like a big, big
game changer because suddenly my band would like we would
roll into town immediate, if we were early and we
had enough time, we would immediately find someplace to go
do go carts. Really, we had to do go carts
in every city if we could. And then I don't know,
you can just look up like the best vegetarian restaurant
(13:45):
if you've given yourself enough time, like go hit it up,
try and try some excellent food, and then had your show.
I was, yeah, touring, Touring is a completely different experience
now from when I started. So I'm it's it's a lot,
it's a lot more enjoyable now, but still go carts
absolutely go Okay, okay, I know him may being Northeasterners.
(14:05):
There's a funny thing I realized when I started touring
a lot, which was I have a real obsession with
waffle House, and I think a lot of other Northeasterners
do too, because we don't have it. But then when
you get to the South, you realize that they're baffled
that to them, waffle house is like a place where
meth heads fight at three thirty in the morning. And
they're like, why do you all love it so much?
And we're like, because you can get you get your
(14:28):
potatoes diced and juned and hound and honked and get
whatever you want. And they're like, it's it's gross. It's
a gross place. Stop waffle house major, but also get
the T bone steak at waffle House. It's come up
on this on this podcast, like get the T bone steak,
Like why not? Like you don't even know, Like I
don't even it's not a cow, Like I've never seen
(14:48):
as as thin a t bone as the T bone
steak at waffle House, But get it, Like go big.
Where else can you get an eight dollar t bone steak?
Like only at a waffle house. That's my that's my
mind sta suggestion. And I'm a fan as well. Just
to be clear, Okay, Chris tell us in one sentence
or so, the case that you've brought to the food
court today. If you walk into a North Jersey deli
(15:10):
or New York City bodega and you say, can I
get an egg and cheese, the assumption will be that
it's on a roll. I posit that if you switch
it to a bagel, or, as my wife likes, to
a croissant, that you are now crossing into something that
is not technically an egg and cheese. This is now
an egg and cheese on a croissant, and it's a
different thing. I don't know that you can just switch
(15:33):
one of the core elements of this sandwich and have
it be the sandwich that you're claiming it to be.
Okay for a guy that loves cucumber soda, who would
think you're such a traditionalist when it comes to breakfast sandwiches,
but you think that the egg and cheese has to
be on the hard roll, a hot take right out
of the gate. So, Halley, I guess that means that
you don't believe in the rigid rules of the egg
(15:55):
and cheese. I don't. But Chris is not alone. There
are a lot of people that are argued, like the
egg and cheese it's a cloud, as it has these
certain ingredients, it's made a certain way. You don't mess
with that. I would say, I just want my food
to taste good, and I don't like it like that.
And I would say, what makes you a true New
Yorker is knowing what you like and ordering it that way.
I also don't accept the like that I'm trying to
like fancy up the breakfast sandwich, because it's still I'm
(16:18):
still ordering it a bodega. It's still a bodega croissant.
And also, Chris and I have a debate about the
American cheese versus Swiss cheese debate, and I say also
that I'm allowed to have six cheese if I like,
and it's still an egg acceptable, multiple acceptable swisses on
a croissande is delicious. In England's do you having a
(16:39):
state dinner? I don't know if you've ever been gabbled
gabbling you We will get into this. This is a court, Chris,
it's serious. I know we're talking about candy and soda,
but now we're talking about the case of the egg
and cheese sandwich. You're gonna argue the very definitions of
a sandwich and egg and cheese, and that's what we
do here at food court argue very serious topics that
are ridiculous. So let's get into it. But before we
(17:01):
get into the official arguments, we like to have a
quick trivia around. Whoever wins the trivia around gets to
decide who presents their argument first. In order to buzz in,
you'll have to make your own sounds. So, Chris, what
audio will you be using to chime in to answer
the triviute questions? Maybe I'll just go with I feel
like I'm about to make a fool of myself. Maybe
I'll just go ha, that'll be mine. Yeah, okay, So
(17:28):
this is a goose at a park at twilight and
angry goose. Angry goose, angry goose. All right, I like it.
It's original, it's original, Thank you, thank you so much.
It's long, which could strategically go against you. Will see
halle as as someone who who might have more musical talent.
What is your sound gonna be? I'm just going to
(17:48):
shout the word croissant. Oh, that's very passive aggressive of you. Actually, no,
it's very aggressive, a passive aggress Well, but I've I've
made it a more level playing field because I made
it a too syllable word at least it's so, you know,
I'm just so Chris has sound is long, and I'm
gonna I'm gonna shout the word cuss. Okay, that's gonna work.
So we have the goose honking and the word croissans.
Question one, and here's how it works. You'll make your sound,
(18:10):
you'll get the opportunity to answer. Do not answer before
you make your sound effect. Question one. The podcast and
talk show hosts Jeseus and Miro, who were passionate about
New York City bodega's use a bodega sandwich as their
show logo. Super popular podcast. They also have a show
now right, like an actual show. What is the sandwich?
(18:31):
Featured in their logo? What iconic New York City sandwiches
in their logo? A lot of heavy thinking going on here.
How many iconic bodega sandwiches are there? Oh, that's gonna
be Chris gathered, coming in with the goose honk. Now,
I am a fan. I enjoy the showtime show and
for talking an iconic, especially uptown sandwich. Maybe a chop
(18:55):
cheese Okay, this one steak kind of yeah, it does
feature ground beef. But the answer is chop cheese. It
is chop cheese. I would say the vegeta, the vegetarian
had it was really at a disadvantage here, fair enough.
I don't even although and I was gonna say someone
(19:16):
is out there making an impossible chop cheese. But I
struck that. But right before I said it, because that
is not happening at a bodega. Bodega is like, how
are we gonna work this out for our You know,
one vegetarian that comes in here a mom chop cheese.
It's it's made on a grill or a griddle. It's
with ground beef onions, topped with melted cheese. Basically, it's
a chopped up cheeseburger with condiments on a Hero roll.
(19:37):
All one of my friends, Dale tall Day, big fan
of the chopped cheese. I've never had one, and I'm
embarrassed as a native New Yorker. All right, here we go.
Question to Chris is up one zero. What fast food
restaurant was the first to introduce a breakfast sandwich via
the drive through? Before we even answer, you can have
multiple guesses. Okay, alright, Hallie, I think it was McDonald's.
McDonald's that is A good A good, A good guess
(19:59):
and very close but not correct. Not correct because I
like the mcgriddle. I wanted it to be McDonald that
I think about it, like the mcgriddle is so good.
You can you can answer again? All right, Chris, Hey,
I got answer. I got multiple answers, a multiple unlimited guesses.
If you honk in first until this it is until
(20:21):
this court shuts it down. But Chris, your guess burger King,
Burger King is incorrect. And now we get into this
part of the game where how many fast food restaurants
can you name? Holly, do you want to return serve?
I don't know. I don't have that many fast food restaurants.
It was Wendy's. No, that doesn't make sense, not Wendy's.
It was. It was. First of all, you have to
(20:42):
you have to yell out Croissans and Chris gather yelling
out in and out. It is not in and out.
Shall we keep going Carl's Jr? Chris getherd with the
honk It's not Carl's Jr. Oh my guesses none of
them are correct? All right, Chris, get one more time?
Right Rogers, Roy Rogers, First of all, just respect for
(21:04):
saying Roy Rogers, It's not Roy Rogers. Shall we continue?
We have to I need to know this. The other
fast food restaurants I know don't make any sense. I
can't say pizza hut, I can't say taco bell and
with any respect, what are other fast food restaurants? What
are the old school? Okay parties? Party? All right, we're
(21:25):
gonna we're gonna end this. We're gonna pull back here
and take a breath, as we've exhausted naming. And we
named fifteen twenty different fast food restaurants. And I don't
know if we were going to go there, so we
will both not get a point for this one. But
the answer is, actually, let's do this. I'll give you
a hint. Let's see if we can get an answer.
This fast food restaurant, you can get a cheeseburger or
(21:46):
a taco or what is this madness you speak of?
Is it Del Taco? It is not Del Taco? Even
though you didn't, Honk Halley, last shot here, last shot, Hally,
I can get a hacko and a hamburger at this restaurant.
It's it's a first of all, you're like a fantastical
place it's a it's a no. I don't. I can't
(22:09):
even I can't even fathom who's he's tackling all of
the breakfast coast. My friends at Jack in the Box
will be mildly disappointed. They debuted the Breakfast Jack back
in seventy one before McDonald's released the very popular egg McMuffin.
(22:31):
As is usually the case, the creator doesn't get the
credit and then someone comes in and popularizes it and
gets all the money. The fair enough, fair enough, absolutely okay.
Question three. And here's the thing. I this. I have
to be honest, Crystal. I know I don't do this.
I actually I've never done this. But Alle's effort there
was so tremendous, so tremendous that we are going to
(22:54):
reward a point in that round. And we are all
tied up. We are all tie it up heading into
question three. So whoever gets this one right will win
something in New York City. What animal is the poster
animal of Bodega's everywhere? Christ? It is the Bodega Cats. Yes,
(23:15):
I loved cat and you can't see him, but he
was super happy about it. They make everyone, cats make
they make people happy, don't they That means, Chris Gather,
you've won the trivia around. You've got two points. Do
you want to present your case first or second? I'll
go first today, I'll go first. I also want to
register my displeasure that my wife got a point for
not getting a question right. That's kind of but see,
(23:36):
things like that happen to her. Things like that happened
to her all the time, so I'm used to do it.
All right, you won the round, but you know, it
really really does, it really really does. And I should
take a point away from you now, even after the factors,
but I woun't. But I woun't, even though this is
my court. All right, Chris Gather, you're going to present first,
which never happens. No one says they're going to present first.
(23:57):
And before we get into the arguments, let's take a
quick break. We are back in the food court to
recap the case before us today. It's a niche case.
Or is it a niche case? You gonna have a
(24:17):
lot of people in New York and New Jersey up
in arms. What exactly is an egg and cheese sandwich?
Do you have to get it on a hard roll?
Can any sandwich with egg and cheese. Does that still
count as an egg and cheese? All right? The way
this works is that each of you will have three
minutes to state your case. During this three minutes you
need to lay out your specific argument, focus on your
own paper and the merits of your argument, and do
(24:41):
not get into the negatives of the other person's case.
Does everyone understand this in the courtroom? Yes, After both
of your cases you'll get a two minute rebuttal period
to go as negative as you'd like to go now
this is important, or else I will docu points or
award points. We'll see how it works, all right, Chris Gether,
you have three minutes to let know why the egg
and cheese sandwich has to be on a hard roll?
(25:03):
Why it's your three minutes start now. The first thing
I want is today is that the egg and cheese
is a beautiful thing in its simplicity. It's also a
sandwich that comes off a griddle one after the other
in places like Bodega's and delis. It's for hard working
people who need something hot in the morning and don't
have time to waste because they get in there. The
(25:23):
types of people get their hands dirty. They got someplace
to go. They got to get there right now. It's
an unpretentious food by definition. So a couple of things
I'll say about this. I don't think that if you
said to anyone, what's what's the least pretentious bread, that
they'll say croissant. In fact, I think if you said
rank bread's based on order of pretentiousness, croissant would be
the number one most pretentious bread option for many people. Oftentimes,
(25:47):
when my wife forces and I will underline that forces
me to order an egg and cheese on a croissant,
I am looked at with disdain by the person I'm
ordering it from. And very often in a state area bodega,
and this is true, they have to take one of
the croissants out of like the crinkly plastic wrap, because
these are not places that sit around with fresh baked,
(26:09):
flaky croissants. Because I would actually argue that croissans in
many ways represent the enemy of the values of people
who egg and cheese are geared towards. So and I mean,
the Swiss cheese thing is just absolutely insane. It's just
absolutely that's I know that we're supposed to focus up ready,
but the Swiss cheese twist on top of it. You
(26:29):
want egg and cheese, a New York Area staple, Yet
you want the bread to be French and you want
the cheese to be Swiss. Are you is this? I'm
no native as friends, but are we? What are we
doing here? But okay, The simplest argument that I think
lays this out, that is you can't argue with this,
is that when I go to a deli and I say,
I'm gonna get two egg and cheese, can you put
(26:51):
one on a croissant with Swiss cheese. That's how it happens.
And here's what happens. I do get to sandwiches back.
One is on a croissan with Swiss cheese. I E. Wrong.
The other comes back on a roll with American cheese.
Now let's keep in mind what just happened there. I said,
can I get two of this product? I made clear
some alterations that define the second one. I've said nothing
(27:13):
about that. They could have put it on a whole
white bread. They could have put it on a sub roll,
they could have put it on anything. They didn't. They
put it on a hard roll. They could have put cheddar,
they could have put munster, they could have put anything.
They didn't it's American cheese. The only questions you will
be asked if you say can I get a egg
and cheese? There's only one one correct question that can
come back to you at a traditional DELLI, which is
(27:35):
salt pepper ketchup, And that is said as one word,
even though it is three words, salt comma, pepper comma
catchup question mark, to which I will often say, now
I take it playing, or I'll say, you know, a
little dab a ketchup, just a dab a ketchup on there.
If I say can I get an egg and cheese?
Salt pepper catch up, they're never saying what type of cheese,
what type of bread? They don't ask you that. There's
only one question as a response, which is salt pepper catchup.
(27:57):
Tells me this is an item, This is a lot
didn't thing. This is something where it is a known quantity.
Any alterations alter it from being fundamentally what it is
at its core. You can't put an egg and cheese
on a croissant and call it an egg and cheese.
At that point, it is an egg and cheese on
a croissant, and I'm no idiot. You put egg and
cheese on something. It's gonna taste good. It's not the
(28:17):
issue you're altering a classic. Thank you so much. I
resk my case. Thank you, very very well spoken, salt pepper. Catchup.
I'm gonna just start saying that though, like that's I
think that should be. That's a Twitter bio. There's so
many things that can come from just that. As a native,
that needs to be a past. Yeah, yes, Chris is
a traditionalist. Is only one way to do it. Maybe
(28:39):
it's more than just the food. Maybe it's a cultural thing.
Maybe maybe maybe what I'm hearing is that it's borderline
disrespectful to order it any other way. All right, Halley,
you have three minutes to let us know why the
croissant is as noble and potentially as royal as Chris
lets us know, and why the egg and cheese can
have many different meanings. Your three minutes starts now, all right,
(29:00):
So you roll up into the into the boda. You
want to egg and cheese sandwich, and you're looking at
your options, and your option is a hard roll. First
of all, just consider the name. A hard role just
doesn't sound good. And then you have like a buttery
flaky croissant that you could choose first of all, just
upping the butter factor, and anything you eat is a
(29:22):
great choice. Just include more butter. My croissant is nice
and buttery. It has a nice soft texture and a
flavor that's going to enhance the flavors of my ingredients.
And again it's not we're not talking high brow. They're
pulling my croissant out of a plastic wrap, right, So
I'm not I'm not snotty here. I'm getting like just
a Deli cuissant. I mean, yeah, I'm getting a Deli croissant.
(29:44):
And then I want, like I want to go. I
want a good cheese. I want like a decent cheese.
I want the cheese to stretch, right, Like, think about
anytime you're like watching a commercial for something with melted cheese,
they're gonna get that nice close up on the cheese
and it's gonna just stretch from the food to your mouth,
and like that is what makes melted cheese good. American
(30:05):
cheese does not do that. It just turns into like
a liquid e like processed, disgusting, like stupy mass. And
so yes, the one thing I will say you've got
to have is the way they make an egg and
cheese in New York City. Don't give me a Frida egg.
No decent, no self respecting bodega is going to give
you a Frida egg. It's they're gonna scramble the egg.
They're gonna make it into a nice thin kind of
(30:26):
crepe situation, and then they fold it up and they
put it onto your sandwich. And all I'm trying to
do is set that egg up for success. Man. I
wanted to have a decent, self respecting cheese next to it. Again,
not fancy. It's a Deli Swiss cheese, a nice quality
Deli Swiss cheese, and a nice flaky, buttery croissant. And
(30:46):
then all the flavors are just everything, just pops and
and and again. Like I said, I'm a New Yorker.
I would like things the way I like them. I'm
not going to be embarrassed with that. I'm not letting
anybody shame me about my sandwich. And that is actually
the most New York quality a sandwich can have is
just the boldness to just get it how you want
it and not worry about what other people are thinking.
And that's that's my argument. Oh my gosh, Now do
(31:07):
you saw pepper catching salt? I'm not. I don't need
the pepper. I mean I don't. Yeah, I don't need
the pepper. I don't need to catch up. I got
all the flavor I need. Got it. There's some textural
issues here, right, That's one of the big parts of
your case. Yeah. Am I allowed to go negative now?
Because if you want me to talk about hard role,
I can talk for another two minutes about how much
I don't like a hard role. But I can I
(31:29):
can save that from my rebotto. Okay, we will save
it for the rebuttal. There we go. First round, coming
in hot Hallie letting us know that you know she
prefers the croissant with Swiss cheese, which Chris thinks is
place for me. That's me working my own name into
a pun. There we go. Okay, heading into the second round,
(31:49):
it is Rebuttal time. Here's where you can get as
negative as you like. You've got two minutes, Chris, Your
time starts now. Well, the first thing I'll say is
the idea of my wife's saying true New Yorkers want
things done their way, and they're not going to apologize
for it. Kudos to you. A smart argument and also
one of the reasons why I love my wife. My
wife is tough and badass and doesn't doesn't take golf
(32:12):
from nobody. It's one of the reasons I love you.
That being said, you've said some things that are outright
problematic to me. One to prefer a croissant textually or
taste wise, fine, but to disparage a hard role, to
claim I'm a true New Yorker who wants things the
way you can't disparage the hard role. There's a lot
of people out there in the rest of the country
who don't even know what we're referring to when we
(32:34):
say hard role. This is a Northeastern classic. And if
you want to say I'm not I'm not betray you know.
I'm actually being a tough New york by wanting the
way I want. That's fine, But you don't talk. You
don't talk bad about the hard role as an institution.
You're asking for trouble here. You're taking things over the line.
It's not okay. Hard rolls are delicious. You get the
(32:56):
hard roll with butter in the saran wrap. When you're
in a real rush, you just run up to the desk.
You got it. They got the half the bagel with
the cream cheese, they got the hard roll with the butter.
You grabbed the hard roll with the butter. You go, okay.
Another thing I'll say to you're claiming that your love
of a croissant is not highbrow or an effort to
be fancy, and yet you pronounce it croissant, which I
will admit is the correct pronunciation. But to say I'm
(33:20):
not trying to be uh fancy when I say, well,
you know as well as I do that any Delhi
workers gonna look back at you and go, you want
a croissant. They're not gonna say cuissant because they're not fancy.
So you are being fancy on some level. You need
to look inside yourself and decide what that's about. Third
of all, you said something absolutely ludicrous that just demonstrates
(33:41):
to me that you do not have a fundamental understanding
of the of the joy of an egg and cheese,
which is you said what you want when you heat
up the cheese is a stretchy cheese. You don't. You
don't not in an egg and cheese scenario. Here's why
American cheese is key. What you want is you want
that thing to come off the griddle. You want to
put on that hard roll. You want it wrapped in floyd.
And you do not want stretchy cheese. What you want
(34:03):
is some left and every everyone who loves the egg
and cheese is about to cheer. People are gonna be
crashing their cars right now. They're gonna be pumping their fists,
are ripping their earbuds out and throwing them because they're
gonna go, Yes, this guy gets it. You don't want
stretchy cheese. You want some gobs of left over American
cheese stuck to that foil that we all know you
should throw out. But you're gonna be gross, and when
(34:25):
no one's looking, you're gonna swipe it off the foil
with your finger and you're gonna eat that goopy cheese
that's left over. You don't understand the egg and cheese.
I love you to death, to the moon and back
more than anything, but I can't pretend this is not
the case. You fundamentally misunderstand the cultural and taste values
of the egg and cheese. Wow and impassioned rebuttal right there,
(34:49):
that's all I can say, and somehow it's turned into
a cheese debate, if anyone's listening, melty, ooy, gooey, verse,
stretchy and chewy. Although Chris, use the goopie not a
word I've used in in a good way in describing food.
All right, this is this is big. Now listen, I
will say one thing real quick. You know, when you're
talking about the hard role, I mean, it's not a bagel, Chris.
(35:13):
It's not like this. I mean it's it's not something
that's you know, maybe there's a reason why the hard
role never made it's a bagel status and never traveled
outside the confines of the Try State area. Now listen,
I'm maybe revealing too much. Halle. You have your rebuttal
right here. You've got two minutes. Let us know why
the egg and cheese on a hard role sucks. Richard,
I couldn't agree with you more. There is a reason
(35:35):
that the hard role does not have the fame and
the glory of the of the delicious bagel. A hard
role is just not good bread. It's bad bread. It
actually has i would say, like negative flavor, Like it
is so bland and so dry and so just like
disgusting white bread that it actually I would say that
it sacks the flavor out of the ingredients. It like
(35:57):
takes away from the flavor of the It's like going
to eat a sandwich between two mattresses, is what I
would say. It's like absolutely disgusting. And I don't know
why New Yorkers have just like I do. I think
it's uh, it's just like I'm a New Yorker. I
guess I just gotta eat my stuff on this hard role.
You don't, New York. You have options. It's a modern world.
(36:18):
You don't have to have the hard role. Also, just yeah,
just the fact that it's called a hard roll. Like
sometimes the crust on it is so thick it literally
cut the roof of your mouth. It is just not
a pleasant experience to eat the hard roll. And yeah,
like then my my egg my cheese, all my good ingredients.
It's just like all I just have is all this
nasty bread in my mouth and I can't taste any
(36:39):
of the stuff that I like. And I don't know
American cheese. You listen, I will say, when you described
it on the aluminum foil, I did have a very
visceral memory of like what that's like to like, take
the American cheese off the foil. It is awfully good,
but I don't know. It still doesn't mean I wanted
on my sandwich. It's a it's soup, right, you melt
American cheese, it just turns into like cheese soup. I
(37:01):
don't want cheese soup my sandwich. I want like I
want a nice I want a cheese So yeah, no
cheese soup. And and two mattresses for my sandwich. No,
thank you. As tasty as a sandwich between two mattresses.
That was a lot to take in. All right, listen, family,
I need to go take my notes over to my
(37:21):
chambers before I make this decision. Let's take a quick break.
All right, we are back before I make uh and
I let it. Let you know the verdict. Do you
have anything else you'd like to say? Your last chance
to plead your case, Chris, All I want to say
(37:43):
is that I got surprisingly passionate about it, and I
hope this doesn't lead to a situation wherein a few
hours how he reveals that she's actually met at me.
Because I got so worked up about this, it could happen.
The post court day in court say I thought judges
were supposed to be impartial, and for you to listen
to the hard role in between arguments, I feel like
it was a little unprofessional on your ind But hey,
(38:04):
who am I Yeah, it's it's just a statement about that.
It's just a true statement about the hard role. I mean,
like people can't hold back if they want to say
something about a gross hardhood. They gotta just they got
to speak their mind. But but in in the spirit
of people speaking on mind, Chris, I would never be
mad about your passion. Your passion is one of the
things I love about you. Listen. I appreciate you, you know,
(38:26):
as a New Yorker, someone from New Jersey, the Tri
state area. Chris, you letting me know, as most people
from this area, letting me know your feelings, just like
maybe you would in a bodega when you're trying to
order the sandwich you want. So thank you for letting
me know that. In my court, I'm not following your rules.
But this is not beautiful Anonymous or the Chris Gather Show.
(38:46):
This is food Court by Richard Blaze, and we are
honored to have you. Now listen, here's the fact. This
this is a case as a native New Yorker that
brought back lots of memories for me, and it's a really,
really tough one. My dad rest in peace, Ken Blaze,
who passed away recently. When he came to visit us
in Atlanta when we lived in Atlanta and it was
(39:07):
his first time to the South and he woke up
one morning staying with us for the first time. I
was like, what do you want for breakfast? Dad? And
he was like, I don't know, just like egg and cheese.
And it was just this moment where I was like,
you have never even been outside of New York. You
do not even know biscuit. You don't even know what
a biscuit is. Welcome to the South. You want to
have an egg and cheese on a roll and people
(39:27):
down here they don't even know what that is. Real quick,
this didn't come up. Are we talking poppy seeds here?
Just do poppy seeds have to be on the hard roll? I, Chris, can't.
I mean, if you want to have a double length episode,
we can get can get. I don't think they're necessary.
I don't think that they're a requirement person. Okay, okay,
well this one is a really, really tough case. Again, Chris,
(39:49):
you threw it down. It is the it is the
it's working class like almost like making the case that
not only ordering it in any other different way as
a disservice to the food, but it's a disservice to
the worker, to service, to the someone who now has
to go find an old croissant and a plastic wrapper
somewhere to make this sandwich to Have you ever been
there is another quick question? This is a really tough when.
(40:10):
I never asked questions at this point, but Chris, when
you're ordering this ridiculous sandwich, for hellye on a croissant?
Have you ever been denied on a I would say
semi frequent basin basis. They will look at me and go,
we don't have croissants. They will they will let me
know if we don't carry why, as if to say,
who are you? Who do you think you are? And
I will just look at them, paint in my eyes
(40:32):
and I will not say it, but I will think
it's not me. It's not me. I've been sitting here
at the bidding, the bidding of a tyrant. There's a
weird sort of similarity here to like a very Italian
friend of mine who you know, has a partner who
loves pineapple on their pizza and wants to do this
in Naples. Like it is. It is not like maybe
at the California Pizza Kitchen, but you do not order
(40:55):
pineapple on your pizza Naple, like you literally probably lose
your residents access and like you get shunned and kicked
out of town. And this is that type of argument.
So it's really really tough as a chef. I really
really like this argument, Helly. On the other hand, you
maybe don't like the textual contrast. You want, you know,
a soft cuissan and a soft, perfectly cooked scrambled egg.
(41:18):
You want stretchy cheese, which I don't know, Helly if
you know, but people are building careers off of cheese
poles right now. There are just Instagram accounts that are
just about stretchy cheese. It is a hot, hot, trendy thing.
You were on trend. Well, you're making me just want
to eat one right now? And should we not just
order what we want? A tough topic, but I do
have a verdict. And in the case of the classic
(41:41):
egg and cheese, this quartz, this is the toughest one.
We kind in a wild Crystal, this courts will rule
in favor of Hally Bullet. Oh yes, freedom. People just
very quickly say that I understand Chris, if you want
(42:01):
to take this to a regional courts where the decision
probably will clearly go in your favor. Wow. But the
compelling argument here is is Hally making a more delicious sandwich?
I think she is by getting it this way. I
think she's making it more delicious. And it's not that
they just want to say I saw Crystal's face shock,
that I saw shock and dismay. That's what I saw.
(42:25):
This is this is rocking me to my core. This
is rocking me fair enough, and also, I mean, Crystal,
I'm flying to New York on Tuesday. Can we make
sure this episode doesn't air until I return? Because I
get it? This is this was This was a really,
really tough one. Thank you so much for bringing your
(42:47):
cases to the court. You can find Chris's podcast, Beautiful
Anonymous wherever you get your podcasts, on this comedy special
Career Suicide on HBO, and on old episodes of the Office. Helly,
what you got so you got a new podcast going on?
Are you on tour. What's going on? I'm doing the
Punk News podcast. It's like we just gossip about punk
and all our favorite music and all our favorite bands
(43:09):
and all our not favorite music and are not favorite bands.
It's like super fun. So yeah, it's the Punk News
Podcast every week. Unbelievable. And Chris, you've got another new project, right,
I was just gonna say specially called half of my Life.
That's me. It's performing at Tenda revenues, most of them
punk music venues. So it all it all ties together
with me and Halley Bullet, much like the cheese ties together,
(43:30):
the egg and the role in an egg and cheese. Yeah,
fair enough. This was a tough one, Like I almost
do feel a little bit as a New Yorker that
was a really really tough case. Listen, what do you think, audience,
I know how you feel. Half of you think I
got it all wrong. Well, you can let me know
about it on the Food Court Pod at food Court
Pod on Instagram, and you can find me across social
(43:51):
media at Richard Blaze across all platforms except on TikTok,
where it's at Richard Blaze Official because there's lots of
Richard Blaze is in Montreal. People don't know that food
Court is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm Richard Blaze.
My producer is Krystal Fact. Mahi food Court was created
by our executive producer, Christopher Hessiotis. The rest of my
food Court clerks are David Wasserman and Jasmine Blaze. The
(44:12):
theme song is by Jason Ne Smith. For more podcast
from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show,
and thank you so much everyone. Guys,
Creamy Creamy food Court. Food Court, food Court with Richard Blaze.
Argue in the food Court Court with rich Blaze. Welcome
(00:33):
to the food Court, a production of I Heart Radio.
Welcome back to the court everyone. I am your honorable
Judge Richard Blaze presiding. Crystal wrote in the honorable part
that is still in question. Joining us in the court today.
We have a comedian and a writer and the host
of the podcast Beautiful Anonymous coming to the food court
straight from New Jersey. It's Chris Gathered. Hello, thank you
(00:56):
for having me. I'm ready to settle some disputes. Thank
you how much. Oh my gosh, coming in, soft spoken
but ready to fight, you can tell. And here to
argue with Chris. We have a performing artist who made
her Broadway debut and Rent and has made music with
her bands The Unlovables and Hiccup. It's Hallie Bullet. Hello.
(01:17):
I'm not going to be so quiet. And Chris and
I don't really disagree about anything ever except this, this
this food debate, so I'm happy to get into it.
Oh my gosh. And you can tell they're not revealing
what the argument is now. This is what everyone in
the courts wants to know, how do you two know
each other? Well, we live in the same house, and
(01:39):
we raise a child together, and we had the child together,
so that we know each other in passing Ali Well,
we we met doing the Chris Gothard Show and we
fell madly in love and now we're married and have
a beautiful baby. So that's you know, that's the more
romantic version. Yes, very very similar to my wife, Jasmine
and I. We all thought it was not the Chris
(02:00):
Gether Show where we met, but it was. It was.
It was a workplace, you know, so and and now
I won I understand not to get to real life here,
but from reporting is reporting is that there is a
two year old running around with glitter in the household
right now. So I just literally just bought him like
a pink glittery ball that you're supposed to be able
(02:21):
to like squish and squeeze and it's supposed to be
like very gratifying, and he was like just enjoying it,
and it exploded everywhere. I mean he I don't think
it was even in the house longer than about two
minutes before. We just had like goo and pink glitter
all over the house. So yeah, we were, we were
Chris had to put just put him in the back.
It literally looked like um, like he had been part
(02:43):
of like an explosion in a glitter factory. Was like
all over his face and all of his clothes. Like
we just had to start over. We had to put
him in the tub and start over. Today, I feel
like it's a rite of passage, the glitter accident. It
looks like a very adorable industrial accident as well. It's
pretty bad. I love it, right, It's like you know
(03:04):
what's going to happen, Markers on the wall. All right. Now, listen,
you two have brought a hot button case to my
court today, the case of the egg and cheese sandwich.
This is a very East Coast case. As a native
New Yorker, just to be clear, so both of you
know that I understand this case a little bit, but
can you explain to maybe everyone else who's outside of
(03:25):
the Tri state area. And I don't even know if
Connecticut counts in this argument, but definitely New York and
New Jersey, can you explain what an egg and cheese
sandwich is in the most basic ways, what the Bodega
sandwich way of life is. Hence, the disagreement. This is
why I take a deep breath. So I'm glad to
hear you're a New Yorker. I grew up in North Jersey.
How he grew up in Westchester. How he's born in Manhattan.
(03:46):
So the egg and cheese sandwich is pretty biquitous, right,
Like any Delhi in our area of the world, you
go in and you order an egg and cheese, they'll
make it, and they'll make it good. And we have
a little bit of an issue where we will go
out to get them, and Hallie will often ask me
to check if I can get hers on a croissant
(04:08):
and it I can't lie. It does bother me. It
does bother me. And this is why we're here before
you today because I understand that that is a sandwich
that contains egg and cheese. But I feel like an
egg and cheese sandwich is on a roll. I feel
like you go into any Delhi in the New York,
New Jersey area you ask for you go, can I
(04:29):
get an egg and cheese sandwich? The assumption is that's
coming out on a hard roll. If you want to
switch it to something else, I feel like you've now
added some caveats, and I don't know that that's an
egg and cheese sandwich. Personally, I don't know that that's
an egg. Okay, we're gonna get into We're gonna get
into the actual debate and I know Halle has a
different opinion here. But before we do get into the
hard hitting part of the case today, Chris, what are
(04:50):
your favorite things about New Jersey that are not egg
and cheese sandwiches on hard rolls. Oh, I'm I'm sort
of obsessed with New Jersey historically. I when I was
in my twenties, I worked at a magazine about haunted
places in New Jersey, and I just think New Jersey
gets such a bad rap. I think people think of
it as this grimy, dirty, classless place full of like
(05:12):
the mafia and snooky and and the Jersey Shore archetypes,
and it's this really really strange place where I think
those of us who love it will say all of
that is entirely true. Like, I'm not, I'm not an idiot.
Like if you've flown into the North Airport, you've seen
the area that surrounds it. It's like a healthscape. I'm not.
I'm not, I'm not dumb, like I know that it
(05:32):
is polluted. I know that guidos are real. I know
that when you go to Seaside Heights, you're going to
see a fight on the boardwalk from people who look
like they've been painted bright orange. Like that's real. But
it's also full of people who are like hard working
and honest, and there's a lot more natural beauty than
anyone would ever expect if you haven't looked into it.
And I just think that it's like a land of
(05:54):
of hardworking people who enjoy a lot of beautiful stuff,
and it's all kind of obscured by like the cloud
of all the jokes about this place and all the
you know, we kind of take it on the chin
like that it's a punch line. It's kind of an
international punch line New Jersey. So I do give it.
I get very defensive about it, but I love it
(06:16):
to death, and most of that's rooted in the people
I think it's really I think it's just like really
hard working people who have a chip on their shoulder
in just the most positive way that you can put
that out there. Although it can be gruff, can be
tough to get to the good of Jersey people. At
times we're a defensive lot, But overall, I think if
you're in a situation where you need somebody to get
(06:36):
your back, you want that person to be from Jersey.
I swear by that fair enough. What a what a
love letter right there to New Jersey. Again, as a
native New Yorker, I just like, you know, you tug
on mom or Dad's coatail at one point you're like, Mom, Dad,
what's over there with all the smoke stacks across the bridge,
and like that's how it starts. And then you watch
a Batman movie and the villains are from places with
(06:57):
giant smoke stacks, and you know, and and that's that's
that's a bad stereotype. So thank you so much for
that sweet love letter. Also, Crystal tells me Chris that
you are a soda aficionado. Oh yeah, we could talk
all day about that, Hallie. Actually, I would actually argue that,
and and this is not something I'm not like certain
of this, but I would bet that there was a
(07:19):
stretch around like twoteen fifteen where I probably had one
of the better soda collections you were going to find
anywhere in the world. I would actually put money on
that and I think we moved it twice, and I
think it was when we had a third move coming
up that Halle finally was like, please don't make movers
carry like gallons and gallons of liquid in glass butt,
(07:40):
Like we can't just keep lugging this stuff around in trucks.
You have to drink it or get rid of it.
So I drank my soda. This I love. So it
was like I once had a burger restaurant that had
a soda reserve list that you would have been the
only person, by the way, that would have appreciated this,
Like no one got this, no one got there, like oh,
the reserve wine list. But with soda you can get
a nineteen seventy three tab, you know, Like no one
(08:00):
got it, but you would have appreciate it. This is
my dream. We could talk all day. I have. I'm
specifically obsessed with like long running regionally bottled brands, Like
you go to Kentucky, there's a drink called l a One,
They've been drinking it forever. You go to Maine, they've
been drinking Maxie forever. And there's history in them and
(08:20):
some of the flavor like Maxie, a lot of people
not from that main area find it to be very medicinal.
But you drink it, you guys, Oh, this is like
somebody's grandparents were drinking this in Maine, and this is
like a taste of something that you don't get on
a supermarket shelf in the broad sense. And I think
there's a lot of culture tied into that, a throwback
to when licorice was candy. Yes, when Chris and I
(08:42):
were planning our wedding, like, Chris, this thing is soda
and I love candy, and so like I would say,
like a big, like part percentage of our wedding planning
was like trying to figure out exactly what soda and
candy we wanted at our wedding and then there was
like a huge, huge, huge spread. But yeah, we spent
way too much time on it. Other people are like
worrying about like the guest list of what people are
(09:04):
going to eat, and we're like, yeah, we were mostly
just fussing over like soda and candy. Yeah, oh I
love this. So Halley, if if if Chris is you know, soda,
he's talking about moxi, right, Like, what is the candy
then that you use as this in this example. Cherry mash. Baby,
it's got to be cherry mash. That's my favorite favorite candy.
And it's very hard to find. Okay, so you'd love it.
(09:28):
She has converted me. It's the best candy, the best, Chris,
I have no objectivity described cherry mash. Cherry mash is
made in Missouri. It's extremely hard to find outside of Missouri,
even in like even in vintage candy stores like even
is it Empire? What's the candy store on the lowery side. Oh,
(09:49):
economy candy, economy candy, like even they don't very often
have it. And that place says everything. It's basically imagine
a really well made York peppermint patty, but with a
cherry filling instead of a mint filling. And and and you're
getting close to what's in there, and it is something
so but it's not a patty. It's like a giant
ball of like chocolate and cherry like goodness, it's like
(10:11):
a whole cherry. It's like a kind of a whole
gushy cherry. No, it's like this cherry filth. It's like
this filthy sweet like creamy like yeah, there's no actual
like cherry. There's no recognizable actual cherry in this candy.
It's just like, oh my cross cherry goodness. There's a
similar candy called Big Cherry that I think does have
(10:33):
a cherry inside it, but it's not as good. And
Big Cherry get out of here. And if Cherry Mash.
If Halle is allowed to air out cherry Mash as
her favorite candy, which I agree with, I feel like
I am honor bound to say that if it comes
to soda, I would actually recommend. There's a drink called Mr.
Cucumber spelled with a Q Mr Cucumber that, for my money,
(10:53):
is the ultimate drink. It's the apex Predator of drinks
and everyone should try it at least once in the time.
And it's obviously flavored of cucumber. You you wouldn't believe
because it's but it's not a Seltzer Richard, that's the thing.
You think cucumber fizz, you think something more like a Seltzer.
This is a definitively sugary soda that captures and enhances
(11:14):
the flavor of cucumber. And I have hyped it up
to people big to the point where they say it's
not going to be as good as you're saying, and
then consistently when they try it, they go, it's better
than it's better than. I am right, respect, I like
the celery soda, so I'm down with the cucumber you're
talking about sell right here? We got Brown's. Yeah. Now,
if you do cherry mash and cheer one, is it
too much? Is it too much cherry? And you have
(11:36):
too much cherry? Is this another spinoff episode of Food Court?
I might not pair them. I might. I might. In fact, actually,
as we're talking about this, I'm feeling like the heavy
cherry bomb aspect of a cherry mash with like the light,
refreshing delightfulness of a mr Q. I feel like that
would be a great combo. I would do that in heartbeat,
(11:56):
great comba. Okay, let's listen. Who wants the gethered bullet
Blaze soda candy pop up mash up shop? I mean this, this,
This has never happened in the court where I've wanted
to strike a business deal with with the people who
are arguing. But there it is. Everyone. I have long
thought about abandoning my entertainment career to start some sort
of soda business. So if you're serious about that I
(12:18):
would love to follow up off air because this is
my dream conversation and Holly can vouch for me. Yeah,
I mean, we're unbelieve heaven is a place on earth. Baby.
If this would be this would be awesome. And if
you're talking, it is cheer wine desserts. If you haven't
made yourself a cheer wine float with vanilla ice cream,
thank me later because it's have you really lived? It's
something something special now there's ice cream involved. Okay, this
(12:42):
is getting out of control. I might not be able
to make a decision today because we're just vibing so
so well, Hally real quick though, you you tour, both
of you tour, right, But I've just started sort of
doing the touring sort of what do you eat as
a musician and bands on the road? Hallie, what are
your go to? Like? Say it? I'll tell you it's
night and day from when I started. So when I
(13:02):
first started touring, the first tour I ever went on,
I was on tour for a year and a half straight,
and I didn't eat well, right because it was like
the nineties and I don't know, I'm a vegetarian, so
I was like eating eating, eating a lot of garbage
and a lot of sides. Like back in those days,
like you'd roll up to a restaurant with your fells
and if you were a vegetarian, you knew you were
(13:23):
just eating sides all night. That was it. That we
only got options. But things have totally changed now. I
would say like the iPhone was like a big, big
game changer because suddenly my band would like we would
roll into town immediate, if we were early and we
had enough time, we would immediately find someplace to go
do go carts. Really, we had to do go carts
in every city if we could. And then I don't know,
you can just look up like the best vegetarian restaurant
(13:45):
if you've given yourself enough time, like go hit it up,
try and try some excellent food, and then had your show.
I was, yeah, touring, Touring is a completely different experience
now from when I started. So I'm it's it's a lot,
it's a lot more enjoyable now, but still go carts
absolutely go Okay, okay, I know him may being Northeasterners.
(14:05):
There's a funny thing I realized when I started touring
a lot, which was I have a real obsession with
waffle House, and I think a lot of other Northeasterners
do too, because we don't have it. But then when
you get to the South, you realize that they're baffled
that to them, waffle house is like a place where
meth heads fight at three thirty in the morning. And
they're like, why do you all love it so much?
And we're like, because you can get you get your
(14:28):
potatoes diced and juned and hound and honked and get
whatever you want. And they're like, it's it's gross. It's
a gross place. Stop waffle house major, but also get
the T bone steak at waffle House. It's come up
on this on this podcast, like get the T bone steak,
Like why not? Like you don't even know, Like I
don't even it's not a cow, Like I've never seen
(14:48):
as as thin a t bone as the T bone
steak at waffle House, But get it, Like go big.
Where else can you get an eight dollar t bone steak?
Like only at a waffle house. That's my that's my
mind sta suggestion. And I'm a fan as well. Just
to be clear, Okay, Chris tell us in one sentence
or so, the case that you've brought to the food
court today. If you walk into a North Jersey deli
(15:10):
or New York City bodega and you say, can I
get an egg and cheese, the assumption will be that
it's on a roll. I posit that if you switch
it to a bagel, or, as my wife likes, to
a croissant, that you are now crossing into something that
is not technically an egg and cheese. This is now
an egg and cheese on a croissant, and it's a
different thing. I don't know that you can just switch
(15:33):
one of the core elements of this sandwich and have
it be the sandwich that you're claiming it to be.
Okay for a guy that loves cucumber soda, who would
think you're such a traditionalist when it comes to breakfast sandwiches,
but you think that the egg and cheese has to
be on the hard roll, a hot take right out
of the gate. So, Halley, I guess that means that
you don't believe in the rigid rules of the egg
(15:55):
and cheese. I don't. But Chris is not alone. There
are a lot of people that are argued, like the
egg and cheese it's a cloud, as it has these
certain ingredients, it's made a certain way. You don't mess
with that. I would say, I just want my food
to taste good, and I don't like it like that.
And I would say, what makes you a true New
Yorker is knowing what you like and ordering it that way.
I also don't accept the like that I'm trying to
like fancy up the breakfast sandwich, because it's still I'm
(16:18):
still ordering it a bodega. It's still a bodega croissant.
And also, Chris and I have a debate about the
American cheese versus Swiss cheese debate, and I say also
that I'm allowed to have six cheese if I like,
and it's still an egg acceptable, multiple acceptable swisses on
a croissande is delicious. In England's do you having a
(16:39):
state dinner? I don't know if you've ever been gabbled
gabbling you We will get into this. This is a court, Chris,
it's serious. I know we're talking about candy and soda,
but now we're talking about the case of the egg
and cheese sandwich. You're gonna argue the very definitions of
a sandwich and egg and cheese, and that's what we
do here at food court argue very serious topics that
are ridiculous. So let's get into it. But before we
(17:01):
get into the official arguments, we like to have a
quick trivia around. Whoever wins the trivia around gets to
decide who presents their argument first. In order to buzz in,
you'll have to make your own sounds. So, Chris, what
audio will you be using to chime in to answer
the triviute questions? Maybe I'll just go with I feel
like I'm about to make a fool of myself. Maybe
I'll just go ha, that'll be mine. Yeah, okay, So
(17:28):
this is a goose at a park at twilight and
angry goose. Angry goose, angry goose. All right, I like it.
It's original, it's original, Thank you, thank you so much.
It's long, which could strategically go against you. Will see
halle as as someone who who might have more musical talent.
What is your sound gonna be? I'm just going to
(17:48):
shout the word croissant. Oh, that's very passive aggressive of you. Actually, no,
it's very aggressive, a passive aggress Well, but I've I've
made it a more level playing field because I made
it a too syllable word at least it's so, you know,
I'm just so Chris has sound is long, and I'm
gonna I'm gonna shout the word cuss. Okay, that's gonna work.
So we have the goose honking and the word croissans.
Question one, and here's how it works. You'll make your sound,
(18:10):
you'll get the opportunity to answer. Do not answer before
you make your sound effect. Question one. The podcast and
talk show hosts Jeseus and Miro, who were passionate about
New York City bodega's use a bodega sandwich as their
show logo. Super popular podcast. They also have a show
now right, like an actual show. What is the sandwich?
(18:31):
Featured in their logo? What iconic New York City sandwiches
in their logo? A lot of heavy thinking going on here.
How many iconic bodega sandwiches are there? Oh, that's gonna
be Chris gathered, coming in with the goose honk. Now,
I am a fan. I enjoy the showtime show and
for talking an iconic, especially uptown sandwich. Maybe a chop
(18:55):
cheese Okay, this one steak kind of yeah, it does
feature ground beef. But the answer is chop cheese. It
is chop cheese. I would say the vegeta, the vegetarian
had it was really at a disadvantage here, fair enough.
I don't even although and I was gonna say someone
(19:16):
is out there making an impossible chop cheese. But I
struck that. But right before I said it, because that
is not happening at a bodega. Bodega is like, how
are we gonna work this out for our You know,
one vegetarian that comes in here a mom chop cheese.
It's it's made on a grill or a griddle. It's
with ground beef onions, topped with melted cheese. Basically, it's
a chopped up cheeseburger with condiments on a Hero roll.
(19:37):
All one of my friends, Dale tall Day, big fan
of the chopped cheese. I've never had one, and I'm
embarrassed as a native New Yorker. All right, here we go.
Question to Chris is up one zero. What fast food
restaurant was the first to introduce a breakfast sandwich via
the drive through? Before we even answer, you can have
multiple guesses. Okay, alright, Hallie, I think it was McDonald's.
McDonald's that is A good A good, A good guess
(19:59):
and very close but not correct. Not correct because I
like the mcgriddle. I wanted it to be McDonald that
I think about it, like the mcgriddle is so good.
You can you can answer again? All right, Chris, Hey,
I got answer. I got multiple answers, a multiple unlimited guesses.
If you honk in first until this it is until
(20:21):
this court shuts it down. But Chris, your guess burger King,
Burger King is incorrect. And now we get into this
part of the game where how many fast food restaurants
can you name? Holly, do you want to return serve?
I don't know. I don't have that many fast food restaurants.
It was Wendy's. No, that doesn't make sense, not Wendy's.
It was. It was. First of all, you have to
(20:42):
you have to yell out Croissans and Chris gather yelling
out in and out. It is not in and out.
Shall we keep going Carl's Jr? Chris getherd with the
honk It's not Carl's Jr. Oh my guesses none of
them are correct? All right, Chris, get one more time?
Right Rogers, Roy Rogers, First of all, just respect for
(21:04):
saying Roy Rogers, It's not Roy Rogers. Shall we continue?
We have to I need to know this. The other
fast food restaurants I know don't make any sense. I
can't say pizza hut, I can't say taco bell and
with any respect, what are other fast food restaurants? What
are the old school? Okay parties? Party? All right, we're
(21:25):
gonna we're gonna end this. We're gonna pull back here
and take a breath, as we've exhausted naming. And we
named fifteen twenty different fast food restaurants. And I don't
know if we were going to go there, so we
will both not get a point for this one. But
the answer is, actually, let's do this. I'll give you
a hint. Let's see if we can get an answer.
This fast food restaurant, you can get a cheeseburger or
(21:46):
a taco or what is this madness you speak of?
Is it Del Taco? It is not Del Taco? Even
though you didn't, Honk Halley, last shot here, last shot, Hally,
I can get a hacko and a hamburger at this restaurant.
It's it's a first of all, you're like a fantastical
place it's a it's a no. I don't. I can't
(22:09):
even I can't even fathom who's he's tackling all of
the breakfast coast. My friends at Jack in the Box
will be mildly disappointed. They debuted the Breakfast Jack back
in seventy one before McDonald's released the very popular egg McMuffin.
(22:31):
As is usually the case, the creator doesn't get the
credit and then someone comes in and popularizes it and
gets all the money. The fair enough, fair enough, absolutely okay.
Question three. And here's the thing. I this. I have
to be honest, Crystal. I know I don't do this.
I actually I've never done this. But Alle's effort there
was so tremendous, so tremendous that we are going to
(22:54):
reward a point in that round. And we are all
tied up. We are all tie it up heading into
question three. So whoever gets this one right will win
something in New York City. What animal is the poster
animal of Bodega's everywhere? Christ? It is the Bodega Cats. Yes,
(23:15):
I loved cat and you can't see him, but he
was super happy about it. They make everyone, cats make
they make people happy, don't they That means, Chris Gather,
you've won the trivia around. You've got two points. Do
you want to present your case first or second? I'll
go first today, I'll go first. I also want to
register my displeasure that my wife got a point for
not getting a question right. That's kind of but see,
(23:36):
things like that happen to her. Things like that happened
to her all the time, so I'm used to do it.
All right, you won the round, but you know, it
really really does, it really really does. And I should
take a point away from you now, even after the factors,
but I woun't. But I woun't, even though this is
my court. All right, Chris Gather, you're going to present first,
which never happens. No one says they're going to present first.
(23:57):
And before we get into the arguments, let's take a
quick break. We are back in the food court to
recap the case before us today. It's a niche case.
Or is it a niche case? You gonna have a
(24:17):
lot of people in New York and New Jersey up
in arms. What exactly is an egg and cheese sandwich?
Do you have to get it on a hard roll?
Can any sandwich with egg and cheese. Does that still
count as an egg and cheese? All right? The way
this works is that each of you will have three
minutes to state your case. During this three minutes you
need to lay out your specific argument, focus on your
own paper and the merits of your argument, and do
(24:41):
not get into the negatives of the other person's case.
Does everyone understand this in the courtroom? Yes, After both
of your cases you'll get a two minute rebuttal period
to go as negative as you'd like to go now
this is important, or else I will docu points or
award points. We'll see how it works, all right, Chris Gether,
you have three minutes to let know why the egg
and cheese sandwich has to be on a hard roll?
(25:03):
Why it's your three minutes start now. The first thing
I want is today is that the egg and cheese
is a beautiful thing in its simplicity. It's also a
sandwich that comes off a griddle one after the other
in places like Bodega's and delis. It's for hard working
people who need something hot in the morning and don't
have time to waste because they get in there. The
(25:23):
types of people get their hands dirty. They got someplace
to go. They got to get there right now. It's
an unpretentious food by definition. So a couple of things
I'll say about this. I don't think that if you
said to anyone, what's what's the least pretentious bread, that
they'll say croissant. In fact, I think if you said
rank bread's based on order of pretentiousness, croissant would be
the number one most pretentious bread option for many people. Oftentimes,
(25:47):
when my wife forces and I will underline that forces
me to order an egg and cheese on a croissant,
I am looked at with disdain by the person I'm
ordering it from. And very often in a state area bodega,
and this is true, they have to take one of
the croissants out of like the crinkly plastic wrap, because
these are not places that sit around with fresh baked,
(26:09):
flaky croissants. Because I would actually argue that croissans in
many ways represent the enemy of the values of people
who egg and cheese are geared towards. So and I mean,
the Swiss cheese thing is just absolutely insane. It's just
absolutely that's I know that we're supposed to focus up ready,
but the Swiss cheese twist on top of it. You
(26:29):
want egg and cheese, a New York Area staple, Yet
you want the bread to be French and you want
the cheese to be Swiss. Are you is this? I'm
no native as friends, but are we? What are we
doing here? But okay, The simplest argument that I think
lays this out, that is you can't argue with this,
is that when I go to a deli and I say,
I'm gonna get two egg and cheese, can you put
(26:51):
one on a croissant with Swiss cheese. That's how it happens.
And here's what happens. I do get to sandwiches back.
One is on a croissan with Swiss cheese. I E. Wrong.
The other comes back on a roll with American cheese.
Now let's keep in mind what just happened there. I said,
can I get two of this product? I made clear
some alterations that define the second one. I've said nothing
(27:13):
about that. They could have put it on a whole
white bread. They could have put it on a sub roll,
they could have put it on anything. They didn't. They
put it on a hard roll. They could have put cheddar,
they could have put munster, they could have put anything.
They didn't it's American cheese. The only questions you will
be asked if you say can I get a egg
and cheese? There's only one one correct question that can
come back to you at a traditional DELLI, which is
(27:35):
salt pepper ketchup, And that is said as one word,
even though it is three words, salt comma, pepper comma
catchup question mark, to which I will often say, now
I take it playing, or I'll say, you know, a
little dab a ketchup, just a dab a ketchup on there.
If I say can I get an egg and cheese?
Salt pepper catch up, they're never saying what type of cheese,
what type of bread? They don't ask you that. There's
only one question as a response, which is salt pepper catchup.
(27:57):
Tells me this is an item, This is a lot
didn't thing. This is something where it is a known quantity.
Any alterations alter it from being fundamentally what it is
at its core. You can't put an egg and cheese
on a croissant and call it an egg and cheese.
At that point, it is an egg and cheese on
a croissant, and I'm no idiot. You put egg and
cheese on something. It's gonna taste good. It's not the
(28:17):
issue you're altering a classic. Thank you so much. I
resk my case. Thank you, very very well spoken, salt pepper. Catchup.
I'm gonna just start saying that though, like that's I
think that should be. That's a Twitter bio. There's so
many things that can come from just that. As a native,
that needs to be a past. Yeah, yes, Chris is
a traditionalist. Is only one way to do it. Maybe
(28:39):
it's more than just the food. Maybe it's a cultural thing.
Maybe maybe maybe what I'm hearing is that it's borderline
disrespectful to order it any other way. All right, Halley,
you have three minutes to let us know why the
croissant is as noble and potentially as royal as Chris
lets us know, and why the egg and cheese can
have many different meanings. Your three minutes starts now, all right,
(29:00):
So you roll up into the into the boda. You
want to egg and cheese sandwich, and you're looking at
your options, and your option is a hard roll. First
of all, just consider the name. A hard role just
doesn't sound good. And then you have like a buttery
flaky croissant that you could choose first of all, just
upping the butter factor, and anything you eat is a
(29:22):
great choice. Just include more butter. My croissant is nice
and buttery. It has a nice soft texture and a
flavor that's going to enhance the flavors of my ingredients.
And again it's not we're not talking high brow. They're
pulling my croissant out of a plastic wrap, right, So
I'm not I'm not snotty here. I'm getting like just
a Deli cuissant. I mean, yeah, I'm getting a Deli croissant.
(29:44):
And then I want, like I want to go. I
want a good cheese. I want like a decent cheese.
I want the cheese to stretch, right, Like, think about
anytime you're like watching a commercial for something with melted cheese,
they're gonna get that nice close up on the cheese
and it's gonna just stretch from the food to your mouth,
and like that is what makes melted cheese good. American
(30:05):
cheese does not do that. It just turns into like
a liquid e like processed, disgusting, like stupy mass. And
so yes, the one thing I will say you've got
to have is the way they make an egg and
cheese in New York City. Don't give me a Frida egg.
No decent, no self respecting bodega is going to give
you a Frida egg. It's they're gonna scramble the egg.
They're gonna make it into a nice thin kind of
(30:26):
crepe situation, and then they fold it up and they
put it onto your sandwich. And all I'm trying to
do is set that egg up for success. Man. I
wanted to have a decent, self respecting cheese next to it. Again,
not fancy. It's a Deli Swiss cheese, a nice quality
Deli Swiss cheese, and a nice flaky, buttery croissant. And
(30:46):
then all the flavors are just everything, just pops and
and and again. Like I said, I'm a New Yorker.
I would like things the way I like them. I'm
not going to be embarrassed with that. I'm not letting
anybody shame me about my sandwich. And that is actually
the most New York quality a sandwich can have is
just the boldness to just get it how you want
it and not worry about what other people are thinking.
And that's that's my argument. Oh my gosh, Now do
(31:07):
you saw pepper catching salt? I'm not. I don't need
the pepper. I mean I don't. Yeah, I don't need
the pepper. I don't need to catch up. I got
all the flavor I need. Got it. There's some textural
issues here, right, That's one of the big parts of
your case. Yeah. Am I allowed to go negative now?
Because if you want me to talk about hard role,
I can talk for another two minutes about how much
I don't like a hard role. But I can I
(31:29):
can save that from my rebotto. Okay, we will save
it for the rebuttal. There we go. First round, coming
in hot Hallie letting us know that you know she
prefers the croissant with Swiss cheese, which Chris thinks is
place for me. That's me working my own name into
a pun. There we go. Okay, heading into the second round,
(31:49):
it is Rebuttal time. Here's where you can get as
negative as you like. You've got two minutes, Chris, Your
time starts now. Well, the first thing I'll say is
the idea of my wife's saying true New Yorkers want
things done their way, and they're not going to apologize
for it. Kudos to you. A smart argument and also
one of the reasons why I love my wife. My
wife is tough and badass and doesn't doesn't take golf
(32:12):
from nobody. It's one of the reasons I love you.
That being said, you've said some things that are outright
problematic to me. One to prefer a croissant textually or
taste wise, fine, but to disparage a hard role, to
claim I'm a true New Yorker who wants things the
way you can't disparage the hard role. There's a lot
of people out there in the rest of the country
who don't even know what we're referring to when we
(32:34):
say hard role. This is a Northeastern classic. And if
you want to say I'm not I'm not betray you know.
I'm actually being a tough New york by wanting the
way I want. That's fine, But you don't talk. You
don't talk bad about the hard role as an institution.
You're asking for trouble here. You're taking things over the line.
It's not okay. Hard rolls are delicious. You get the
(32:56):
hard roll with butter in the saran wrap. When you're
in a real rush, you just run up to the desk.
You got it. They got the half the bagel with
the cream cheese, they got the hard roll with the butter.
You grabbed the hard roll with the butter. You go, okay.
Another thing I'll say to you're claiming that your love
of a croissant is not highbrow or an effort to
be fancy, and yet you pronounce it croissant, which I
will admit is the correct pronunciation. But to say I'm
(33:20):
not trying to be uh fancy when I say, well,
you know as well as I do that any Delhi
workers gonna look back at you and go, you want
a croissant. They're not gonna say cuissant because they're not fancy.
So you are being fancy on some level. You need
to look inside yourself and decide what that's about. Third
of all, you said something absolutely ludicrous that just demonstrates
(33:41):
to me that you do not have a fundamental understanding
of the of the joy of an egg and cheese,
which is you said what you want when you heat
up the cheese is a stretchy cheese. You don't. You
don't not in an egg and cheese scenario. Here's why
American cheese is key. What you want is you want
that thing to come off the griddle. You want to
put on that hard roll. You want it wrapped in floyd.
And you do not want stretchy cheese. What you want
(34:03):
is some left and every everyone who loves the egg
and cheese is about to cheer. People are gonna be
crashing their cars right now. They're gonna be pumping their fists,
are ripping their earbuds out and throwing them because they're
gonna go, Yes, this guy gets it. You don't want
stretchy cheese. You want some gobs of left over American
cheese stuck to that foil that we all know you
should throw out. But you're gonna be gross, and when
(34:25):
no one's looking, you're gonna swipe it off the foil
with your finger and you're gonna eat that goopy cheese
that's left over. You don't understand the egg and cheese.
I love you to death, to the moon and back
more than anything, but I can't pretend this is not
the case. You fundamentally misunderstand the cultural and taste values
of the egg and cheese. Wow and impassioned rebuttal right there,
(34:49):
that's all I can say, and somehow it's turned into
a cheese debate, if anyone's listening, melty, ooy, gooey, verse,
stretchy and chewy. Although Chris, use the goopie not a
word I've used in in a good way in describing food.
All right, this is this is big. Now listen, I
will say one thing real quick. You know, when you're
talking about the hard role, I mean, it's not a bagel, Chris.
(35:13):
It's not like this. I mean it's it's not something
that's you know, maybe there's a reason why the hard
role never made it's a bagel status and never traveled
outside the confines of the Try State area. Now listen,
I'm maybe revealing too much. Halle. You have your rebuttal
right here. You've got two minutes. Let us know why
the egg and cheese on a hard role sucks. Richard,
I couldn't agree with you more. There is a reason
(35:35):
that the hard role does not have the fame and
the glory of the of the delicious bagel. A hard
role is just not good bread. It's bad bread. It
actually has i would say, like negative flavor, Like it
is so bland and so dry and so just like
disgusting white bread that it actually I would say that
it sacks the flavor out of the ingredients. It like
(35:57):
takes away from the flavor of the It's like going
to eat a sandwich between two mattresses, is what I
would say. It's like absolutely disgusting. And I don't know
why New Yorkers have just like I do. I think
it's uh, it's just like I'm a New Yorker. I
guess I just gotta eat my stuff on this hard role.
You don't, New York. You have options. It's a modern world.
(36:18):
You don't have to have the hard role. Also, just yeah,
just the fact that it's called a hard roll. Like
sometimes the crust on it is so thick it literally
cut the roof of your mouth. It is just not
a pleasant experience to eat the hard roll. And yeah,
like then my my egg my cheese, all my good ingredients.
It's just like all I just have is all this
nasty bread in my mouth and I can't taste any
(36:39):
of the stuff that I like. And I don't know
American cheese. You listen, I will say, when you described
it on the aluminum foil, I did have a very
visceral memory of like what that's like to like, take
the American cheese off the foil. It is awfully good,
but I don't know. It still doesn't mean I wanted
on my sandwich. It's a it's soup, right, you melt
American cheese, it just turns into like cheese soup. I
(37:01):
don't want cheese soup my sandwich. I want like I
want a nice I want a cheese So yeah, no
cheese soup. And and two mattresses for my sandwich. No,
thank you. As tasty as a sandwich between two mattresses.
That was a lot to take in. All right, listen, family,
I need to go take my notes over to my
(37:21):
chambers before I make this decision. Let's take a quick break.
All right, we are back before I make uh and
I let it. Let you know the verdict. Do you
have anything else you'd like to say? Your last chance
to plead your case, Chris, All I want to say
(37:43):
is that I got surprisingly passionate about it, and I
hope this doesn't lead to a situation wherein a few
hours how he reveals that she's actually met at me.
Because I got so worked up about this, it could happen.
The post court day in court say I thought judges
were supposed to be impartial, and for you to listen
to the hard role in between arguments, I feel like
it was a little unprofessional on your ind But hey,
(38:04):
who am I Yeah, it's it's just a statement about that.
It's just a true statement about the hard role. I mean,
like people can't hold back if they want to say
something about a gross hardhood. They gotta just they got
to speak their mind. But but in in the spirit
of people speaking on mind, Chris, I would never be
mad about your passion. Your passion is one of the
things I love about you. Listen. I appreciate you, you know,
(38:26):
as a New Yorker, someone from New Jersey, the Tri
state area. Chris, you letting me know, as most people
from this area, letting me know your feelings, just like
maybe you would in a bodega when you're trying to
order the sandwich you want. So thank you for letting
me know that. In my court, I'm not following your rules.
But this is not beautiful Anonymous or the Chris Gather Show.
(38:46):
This is food Court by Richard Blaze, and we are
honored to have you. Now listen, here's the fact. This
this is a case as a native New Yorker that
brought back lots of memories for me, and it's a really,
really tough one. My dad rest in peace, Ken Blaze,
who passed away recently. When he came to visit us
in Atlanta when we lived in Atlanta and it was
(39:07):
his first time to the South and he woke up
one morning staying with us for the first time. I
was like, what do you want for breakfast? Dad? And
he was like, I don't know, just like egg and cheese.
And it was just this moment where I was like,
you have never even been outside of New York. You
do not even know biscuit. You don't even know what
a biscuit is. Welcome to the South. You want to
have an egg and cheese on a roll and people
(39:27):
down here they don't even know what that is. Real quick,
this didn't come up. Are we talking poppy seeds here?
Just do poppy seeds have to be on the hard roll? I, Chris, can't.
I mean, if you want to have a double length episode,
we can get can get. I don't think they're necessary.
I don't think that they're a requirement person. Okay, okay,
well this one is a really, really tough case. Again, Chris,
(39:49):
you threw it down. It is the it is the
it's working class like almost like making the case that
not only ordering it in any other different way as
a disservice to the food, but it's a disservice to
the worker, to service, to the someone who now has
to go find an old croissant and a plastic wrapper
somewhere to make this sandwich to Have you ever been
there is another quick question? This is a really tough when.
(40:10):
I never asked questions at this point, but Chris, when
you're ordering this ridiculous sandwich, for hellye on a croissant?
Have you ever been denied on a I would say
semi frequent basin basis. They will look at me and go,
we don't have croissants. They will they will let me
know if we don't carry why, as if to say,
who are you? Who do you think you are? And
I will just look at them, paint in my eyes
(40:32):
and I will not say it, but I will think
it's not me. It's not me. I've been sitting here
at the bidding, the bidding of a tyrant. There's a
weird sort of similarity here to like a very Italian
friend of mine who you know, has a partner who
loves pineapple on their pizza and wants to do this
in Naples. Like it is. It is not like maybe
at the California Pizza Kitchen, but you do not order
(40:55):
pineapple on your pizza Naple, like you literally probably lose
your residents access and like you get shunned and kicked
out of town. And this is that type of argument.
So it's really really tough as a chef. I really
really like this argument, Helly. On the other hand, you
maybe don't like the textual contrast. You want, you know,
a soft cuissan and a soft, perfectly cooked scrambled egg.
(41:18):
You want stretchy cheese, which I don't know, Helly if
you know, but people are building careers off of cheese
poles right now. There are just Instagram accounts that are
just about stretchy cheese. It is a hot, hot, trendy thing.
You were on trend. Well, you're making me just want
to eat one right now? And should we not just
order what we want? A tough topic, but I do
have a verdict. And in the case of the classic
(41:41):
egg and cheese, this quartz, this is the toughest one.
We kind in a wild Crystal, this courts will rule
in favor of Hally Bullet. Oh yes, freedom. People just
very quickly say that I understand Chris, if you want
(42:01):
to take this to a regional courts where the decision
probably will clearly go in your favor. Wow. But the
compelling argument here is is Hally making a more delicious sandwich?
I think she is by getting it this way. I
think she's making it more delicious. And it's not that
they just want to say I saw Crystal's face shock,
that I saw shock and dismay. That's what I saw.
(42:25):
This is this is rocking me to my core. This
is rocking me fair enough, and also, I mean, Crystal,
I'm flying to New York on Tuesday. Can we make
sure this episode doesn't air until I return? Because I
get it? This is this was This was a really,
really tough one. Thank you so much for bringing your
(42:47):
cases to the court. You can find Chris's podcast, Beautiful
Anonymous wherever you get your podcasts, on this comedy special
Career Suicide on HBO, and on old episodes of the Office. Helly,
what you got so you got a new podcast going on?
Are you on tour. What's going on? I'm doing the
Punk News podcast. It's like we just gossip about punk
and all our favorite music and all our favorite bands
(43:09):
and all our not favorite music and are not favorite bands.
It's like super fun. So yeah, it's the Punk News
Podcast every week. Unbelievable. And Chris, you've got another new project, right,
I was just gonna say specially called half of my Life.
That's me. It's performing at Tenda revenues, most of them
punk music venues. So it all it all ties together
with me and Halley Bullet, much like the cheese ties together,
(43:30):
the egg and the role in an egg and cheese. Yeah,
fair enough. This was a tough one, Like I almost
do feel a little bit as a New Yorker that
was a really really tough case. Listen, what do you think, audience,
I know how you feel. Half of you think I
got it all wrong. Well, you can let me know
about it on the Food Court Pod at food Court
Pod on Instagram, and you can find me across social
(43:51):
media at Richard Blaze across all platforms except on TikTok,
where it's at Richard Blaze Official because there's lots of
Richard Blaze is in Montreal. People don't know that food
Court is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm Richard Blaze.
My producer is Krystal Fact. Mahi food Court was created
by our executive producer, Christopher Hessiotis. The rest of my
food Court clerks are David Wasserman and Jasmine Blaze. The
(44:12):
theme song is by Jason Ne Smith. For more podcast
from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show,
and thank you so much everyone. Guys,
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