July 6, 2021 • 38 mins
This week on Food Court with Richard Blais two friends? Enemies? Frenemies? And co-stars on the hot Netflix series Cobra Kai, Dan Ahdoot and Bret Ernst, are here to argue about peanut butter but they could really argue about anything (and have a great time doing it!).
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Creamy, creamy, crunchy food Court, food Court, food Court, Blaze.
Are you in the food court, Blase Cross already it
(00:37):
is started. Welcome to the food Court of production of
I Heart Radio. This is food Court and I'm Richard Blaze.
I'm a chef, a human and most importantly, i am
a judge today and I'm very excited to get into
it and judge these two guests we have with us today.
Joining us in the court, we have the host of
the Green Eggs and Dan podcast, a comedian, actor and
writer who has been all over TV, concluding the crew
(01:01):
on Netflix. It's Dan at Hoot. Thank you so much, Richard.
It's a pleasure to be here. I've always been a
huge fan of yours and this is quite the honor
for me. Those things work very well in this court.
Flatterly can get you someplace and here to take on.
Dan is actually his cast mate on the hit show
Cobra Kai, where he does most of the heavy lifting
(01:23):
at Daniel Larusso's evil car dealership. Spoiler alert, it's Brett Ernst. Hey,
what's up, buddy. Yeah, Dan plays my sidekick, you know,
he's my Robin. Trying not to spoil it, even though listen, everyone,
I'm in the middle of the run, so you know,
like halfway through the series. No spoilers for me if
(01:43):
I like, I like to think of myself more as
your Michelle Obama. Okay, okay, I'll take that. Okay, now listen.
I know you both have a case you've brought into
the court today. But before we get into the actual case,
there's something that I ask lots of guests on this show,
but I think it's really really pertinent to the two
of you, who who are on set together frequently. What
(02:04):
is the crafty situation at Cobra Kai. What is going
on at the crafty table on set? Actually, I think
we have a great crafty situation. We shoot in Atlanta,
so there's a lot of Southern influence and the food
that we have. But it's also like impossible to maintain
a healthy weight while you're on set because you're like,
(02:25):
just have has lunch and then like twenty minutes later,
they're like, alright, guys, it's a Cuban sandwich time and
they just roll out like a cart of Cuban sandwiches.
It's it's very difficult, but the food is is awesome
and you know the thing that craft services is like
stuff I'm eating that I would never even think of eating.
Like I'm just so look yogurt covered pretzels. You know,
(02:45):
It's just there's so many things on there that I
would never eat in a million years, but because it's there,
I'm eating it. But the food is phenomenal. We've got great,
great food trucks there and there is there's always something
going on. Yeah. Well that's when you know the show
is doing well when like the food truck element of
it shows up, or even the crafty chef like you
said at four pm is like I made chilled cucumber
(03:06):
soup right like now we're getting another season, Guys show exactly.
But but it is he is right. I mean, it's
a big Southern influence, and you know one thing down
there that they're not really concerned about health as much
as they are with you know, the taste of things,
so you can you can gain a lot of weight
if you don't be careful. Yeah, I mean, I'm in
(03:27):
southern California now, but I lived in Atlanta for a
number of years, and you know you can mix cheese
with with mayonnaise and that that's a salad. Basically absolutely
don't knock pimento cheese, by the way, And you're right
about the craft like mine is like usually if you know,
you get that like the cereal bar at the crafty table,
like I've never had fruity pebbles only when I'm on
(03:49):
set only And you know, like I said, there's so
many things that you would never eat otherwise. I'm curious
eat fruity pebbles and cocoa pebbles like it's going out
of style mixed Richard, I'm curious, like back in the
day on Top Chef, what was the craft was the crafty?
Would you guys just be like sitting around the crafty
and just like food together or well one I think
(04:10):
the first lesson, right, like like you learn as a
chef is to you know, you gotta turn off that
like I critique everyone else's food. You can't be that
person that's doing it. But you know, as a competitor,
because I've you know, unfortunately been on so many renditions
now of the show. And here's what I will tell you.
As a judge, you eat all the crafty and you
eat all the competitors food, and you gained I gained
(04:32):
at least ten pounds two months in this How is
that how you gained all that weight in your hat?
It is trying to impress you. You've got a great
head of hair. Man, You've got a great head of hair.
Don't suffocates a podcast, no one can see the hair well,
but they will eventually in the clips. Yeah, you know,
(04:54):
but I think that is part of it, isn't there?
There there's sort of like podcast like fat like like
totally underdress for your podcast, almost intentionally actually because of
this episode. That's why right now I'm naked only covering
my Nether regions with organic peanut butter. What's there? It is?
What's Nether Regions? Dropping the segue right into it, Dan,
(05:18):
tell us a little bit more about yourself. Well, what
made you with all of the things that you do,
all the talent you have? What made you get into
the food podcast? You know? And how dare? I'm sorry,
but I love you. Know as a comedian, there aren't
that many comedians were passionate about food. I'm super passionate
about food, and I always wanted to meld those two
(05:39):
parts of my life. So I thought of having an
interview show where I can interview celebrities and just make
the conversation about food. So it's all celebrities and Brett
Brett was also on an episode, so it's not just celebrities.
We have other people too, But Brett's episode was really
really fun, and in general people have been loving the podcast,
so it's been very fun to I'm bind those two worlds. Oh,
(06:01):
I love it. I'd like to be on the podcast
I have. I have no shame in sort of like
trying to cast you're in. I would love to have
and to paint the picture a little bit if it's
signed Fell but without the fancy car. Well, you agreed
to being on already, so I can tell you exactly
what we do. First of all, you and I get
on a slipping slide together. No, it's a yeah, it's
exactly like that. And every episode starts with a picture
(06:23):
of the inside of the guests fridge, so we kind
of roast your fridge for everyone to see, and then
we get into a fun conversation about food. Oh, I
like it. Dan, You've never been on a slipping slide
until you've been on a liquid nitrogen slip. That's all
I'm saying. It's all I'm saying, Cobra Kai next season,
come see me for a little fun after hours entertainment. Brett,
(06:44):
what about you? What kind of food were you eating
growing up? I mean all Italian buddy, every every day,
every Sunday. You know, it's it's really hard. I was
telling my friend about this. It's like you grow up
with this. This just amazing food. It's all it is
is food. Like even Christmas Eve is seven fishes. We
(07:04):
just eat. All we do is eat, eat, eat. So
you know, I'm not a foodie. I'm not a foodie
guy because I grew up around like authentic food. I
can't explain it. Well, I can't explain it for you
where you grew up where I grew up in New Jersey,
and then I went to high school in South Florida. Okay,
I was gonna say, I'm a I'm a Long Island boy,
(07:25):
and so like Jersey, New York, Philly, it's all right,
it's all it's all the same. So like real like
Italian food, real food. You're eating, you know, chicken palm,
and well you can't eat any like you know, it's weird.
It's like, you know, by the way, I went to
c W post, which is stop trying to kiss up
to the judge. I grew up in grand Okay, you
(07:45):
have your chance to talk, Dan, You had your chance. No,
I have been on the post. It's not if they
don't call it c W anymore. Do they know it's
now it's Long Island University and we're not the pioneers.
I think that they're sharks or something now. But anyways, yeah, no,
you know, man, but it's not just chicken parm like
you know, it's it's a lot of my grandmother. You know,
(08:05):
there's a lot of Italian food that isn't really glamorized,
you know, like the safrita, like the pig intestines, and
there's some stuff that's a little gross, you know, tripe,
you know what I mean. Definite, But they're telling me
Nona was making tripe. Oh yeah, my stepfather made it
all the time. But when you eat it, it tastes great,
but if you smell it cooking, it smells like somebody
(08:25):
piste all over the house. Yeah, wet dog. I think
is out a lot of people terrible Alright, listen, obviously
strong opinions on both sides, but Dan, please sum up
to the food court today. The case you've brought in
a sentence or so, I think that's organic peanut butter
is a canary in a coal mine for what is
(08:48):
wrong with the American diet. Okay, you's gave me one sentence.
You gave me one sentence. Yeah, no, I like so
so poetic, so poetic? You are you're are you? Are
you cutting down on on sugar? It's not about cutting
down on sugar. It's about taking things that tastes great
in their natural habitat and adding a lot of bullets
(09:11):
to them so that it's palatable to more people. But
in essence, what we're doing is we're making them addicted
to bad foods. Dude, stop all right. So you so
you're you're, you're taking the side of organic peanut butter.
And behind you is Gwyneth Paltrow and Tom Brady and
just like this whole just legion of people talking about health,
(09:33):
wellness and fit. You know, I'm always mentioned in the
same sentence as Tom Brady and going to Coultro. So
I'm glad that you just kept that traditional. Yeah you
all three of you wear ugg boots. Oh my god,
I'm actually wearing ug slippers. Now that's that's everything that compasses.
Go ahead. I'm sorry, No, no, I listen. I love it.
(09:54):
And the fact that you had the ug slipper right there,
that is just you. You guys know each other well,
so reret. Then I'm guessing that you are feel differently
about organic peanut butter. I'm just gonna say. His one
sentence just sums up with his canary and whatever he said.
His one sentence was as smug as his choice of
peanut butter. It's peanut butter. Okay. Some things are just
(10:17):
meant to be enjoyed. Again, It's its own thing, you know,
the organic nous of it has nothing to do with
Jiffy is Jiffy. It's its own thing. There it is, there,
it is. It's a comfort food. We're going to get
into it. This is the people versus the system. Who
knows it's style of our substance. I don't know, but
(10:37):
today is a special case for food court. Before we
get into the arguments here in food court, we like
to have a quick trivia around first, just like in
all courts, and the winner of the trivia around gets
to decide the order that you will present your arguments.
Brett what sound will you be using today to buzz in?
Do it? Yo? No? Yes, like that's like nostalgia for
(11:00):
me too. I'm I'm going back to Strong Island with
the yo from Brett. Dan, what is your sound? I
will be tapping my espresso cup. Oh my god, onto
my thought. This is perfect. Could be any worse of
a human being, Dan, any worse? It's a divide all
(11:21):
over the place. We gotta yo on one side, we
gotta tink any tink tap of the espresso cup on
the other side. Here we go, getting into the trivia
three questions. The first one is multiple choice. The British
famously find peanut butter repulsive. But there are actually two
countries that consume more peanut butter per capita than we
do in America. Which two countries are they? A India
(11:45):
and Thailand, be China and Australia see the Netherlands. And
that was rarely close. But it's gonna be the yo
on Brett's side. I gotta go with Australia and I
gotta go with China. The answer of Australia and China
that was the wrong alright, So Dan, yeah, gaveling in
(12:15):
the court, Brett you'll appreciate that my gavel is a
noki roller. I mean, Dan, you'll appreciate it too, because Dan,
you're probably enjoying white truffle nochi in your espresso somewhere
and you know it bro there there it is, so listen.
Here's here's the interesting thing. This doesn't happened before the
answer is Brett got the answer wrong, but because Dan
jumped in and no one even asked him, he also
got the answer wrong. No zero points will be awarded
(12:40):
the answers. The Netherlands and Canada, India and China actually
consume the most peanuts, but not very much peanut butter.
So kind of a tricky question right there, No one
gets the points, which means it's anyone's game. Question two,
This question is troubling. But to legally label the spread
peanut butter, it must contain what percentage of peanuts closest
(13:03):
to the answer will be correct percentage of yo. That's
Brett again early on the buzzer. I'm gonna have to
go with five five percent. We'll let Dan take this one,
see if he can get closer. Are we doing prices right? Rules? Okay,
it's just without going over I'm gonna say six percent.
(13:24):
Six Only someone with an espresso cup taking he takes
sound is gonna come in with six percent over five percent. Dan,
you are correct. The answer is. First of all, you
have no faith in our labeling system here, obviously because
the answer is guys. Oh really, I thought it was
going to be as well. No, I I agree, but
(13:45):
the answer is ninety, which gives me a little I
have some faith to say something right now. With that
bit of knowledge, I might use that to arm myself
because if it's has to be in order to be jiffy,
peanut butter has to have peanuts center, right. Wow, Brett,
that's you don't have to reveal your argument up front,
but I do that you're gonna use that. You're right,
(14:05):
there has to be some a high percentage of peanuts
in there. So technically that means Dan got the answer right.
He's up one zero heading into the third question, and
luckily for Brett, the third question is worth nineteen points.
So this is for the win in the trivia around
who howevery gets it? We'll get it right? Question three?
(14:26):
What to Malia Obama? Kelly Clarkson, Bill Hayter, and Serena
Williams all have in common. That is Brett's quick on
the buzzer, quickest in the game. They're allergic to peanuts,
and Brett's as talented in so many things. Obviously trivia
is one of them. They are all allergic to peanuts.
(14:48):
And also you also gotta love the strategy that when
you do a sound I feel like Brett, you might
say yo a lot, just like normal normally, and that
works quick on the buzzer, Brett. That means that you
have won our trivia around. Dan can take a sip
of espresso. Now, Brett, do you want to decide you
(15:08):
want to argue first or second. I'm gonna go second.
All right, You're gonna take the home team approach. Uh,
and you're gonna go second. That means that Dan, you're
gonna argue first. But before we get I'm sorry really quick.
In football, I would defer to the second half, but
you know I'd have to explain that to you. I
just did. And food, it's as if you're having your
(15:32):
dessert before your main course, because here comes a little
bit of sweetness. Guys. There we go. Time to get
into our arguments. But before that, let's take a quick
break and we are back to recap. Today in the
(15:53):
food court, we have the case of two peanut butters.
Dan loves organic peanut butter, while Brett is sticking by
the old standbys like Skippy and Jeff and Peter Pan
or whatever it is. The way this works is that
each of you will have three minutes to state your case.
During this three minutes, you need to lay out your
case and not focus on your opponent's case. I'm really
(16:14):
emphasizing this for this crew here. I feel like you're
gonna want to go at each other, But the first
three minutes is just to discuss the merits of why
your thing is better than the other. After the three minutes,
you'll have two minutes of a rebuttal uh. Brett won
the trivia. He's decided that Dan will present first. Dan
(16:34):
you ready, Yes, I am. Thank you so much, Judge Richard,
And if I may say, I think you're doing a
fine job. Well, thank you so much. Dan. I appreciate it.
Your time starts now. Peanut butter. You think it's just
a benign little thing that you put on your toast, No,
as I said before, it is a canary in the
(16:55):
coal mine of awful things to come out peanut butter.
You hear the word organic peanut butter and it sounds
pretentious to you. No, it shouldn't sound pretentious. What I
mean is peanut butter the way that it's meant to taste,
the way that it always tasted throughout history, up until
(17:15):
the nineteen fifties, when it was taken and turbo charged
with sugar and stabilizers and things that made it creamy
and fawn and sweet. We've done this to so many
other foods that we don't even realize we are. We've
been red billed. We don't even know that we're eating
fake versions of what the actual thing is. Okay, Cereals
(17:39):
used to just be a bowl of grains with milk.
Now it's something with colors of the rainbow and and
snaps and crackles and pops. We don't need those things, guys.
We need to go back to a simpler time, back
to a time when we foods tasted the way that
we're supposed to taste. Okay, And it's hell fear for
(18:00):
us too. We're bombarding ourselves with sugar and sodium and
processed both because we want to get away from what
might be subtle flavors and we just want to, you know,
get get smacked up in the mouth with our taste
but explosions all the time. Hey guys, you don't want
to listen to a Nirvana album all the time. Sometimes
(18:21):
you just want some classical music. But this jeff Jeffy
peanut butter is a is a sign of the times.
It's it's like you're listening to Nirvana your taste buzz
and I'm not here for it. I'm here for things
to go back to the natural way that they were
supposed to taste. Here it is. What was a wine
glass to signify the end of a round is now
(18:42):
an egg topp or because I broke that wine glass,
dan Anti sugar. Perhaps I don't know if that's really
come out. But do you enjoy jelly with your peanut butter?
I do. I love jelly, but also also I think
jellies most jellies have about double the amount of sugar
they need to have in the sugar. The sugar in
(19:03):
fruit is wonderful on its on its own. We don't
need to enhance these things so much. Maybe you can.
Maybe you should shut up because I'm still talking and
now I yield my time to Judge Richard. Definitely, there's
a rant on sugar and stabilizers mentioning grain. Have you
(19:24):
ever had grape nuts? Dand as a cereal? Have you
ever tried to eat grape nuts? I have? I have?
Do you enjoyed them? You know, I don't because I've
been so accustomed to, you know, crappy cereal. But I'm
sure that in tens if you ask ten year old Billy,
the Amish kid, he'd be like, of course, I love
grape nut. That's my Sunday treat. I love it fair enough,
(19:49):
and I don't know. Also, the last comment there on
your opening is have you ever listened to like Nirvana acoustic? Like?
I mean, you can still listen to Nirvana acoustics, can't you? Absolutely?
And essence, I think that, Look, I think it's okay
to sometimes have your Nirvana and sometimes have your not
your Nirvana acoustic, But sometimes you just want to you
just want to have some cool jazz. A strong argument
(20:11):
to be had there for organic peanut butter. Brett, You'll
have three minutes to let us know why you know
your standard old regular basic peanut butter is better. Your
three minutes start now, Well, you know, there's a big
misconception that peanut butter was originally meant to be eaten organically.
First of all, it was invented in eighty four in
Canada by a dude name Marcellus Edson, and it has
(20:34):
always contained salt, sweeteners, and emulsive fires. What what, what
is very annoying to me is that people tend to
read define things in today's terms from what it was it.
The presumption that it never had sweeteners in it is
absolute rubbish. Okay, as the British would say, you know,
(20:56):
he keeps talking about sugar. Maybe we should take sugar.
How was candy originally supposed to be without sugar? It
is what it is. Peanut butter is what it is.
It's a comfort food. It's a spread, all right, of
all of it. It contains peanuts, which we just learned
that today. So this idea that it was peanut butters
(21:19):
meant to be in its natural form, I hate to
break it to you, Dan, but with the sweet nurse
and with the salt, and with the emosifiers, it's actually
in its natural form the way God intended it to be,
or Marcellus Edson did when he invented it back in
four So when I'm a kid and I'm eating Jiffy
(21:41):
peanut butter, it's that's the taste you. I don't have
a taste for organic peanut butter. Jiffy is Jiffy, Skippy
is Skippy. That is what you have a taste for.
It's a comfort food, just like I'm gonna eat a
Milky Way or I'm gonna eat a Snickers. Is there
is there an organic version of a Snickers bar or
an organic version of Charleston chew? Maybe there's organic good
(22:02):
in plenties. I'm eating it the way God intended it
to eat it. Okay, stop putting and injecting the smugness
into everything. Do you eat nortella? And it's perfect natella
form of just the pure natla. It is what it
is and and that's the way it was, and that's
why people love it, and that's what that's what people crave.
(22:26):
All Right, there we go, bread throwing it down, bread,
just real quick. On the texture? Did God intend it
as you're saying, to be so ultra smooth? I mean,
do peanuts when they come off their plants, are they
are they smooth inside of their listen. The peanut is
the way God intended it. The peanut butter is the
way Marcellus Edson intended it. And it's supposed to be smooth.
(22:49):
It's not. It's not in its natural form. The many
you take it out and you throw it in a blender,
you're adding sugar and whatever you're adding to it. It's
not meant to be it's its own food. Like where
when in the world did peanut butter the prerequisite have
to be it's pure. It was never made that way.
So we're eating it the way it was originally made,
(23:10):
in a plastic container with a lid on it. I
would say, how about this, how about this? I bet
that plastic is way more healthier than than that rusted
lidjar that they were using back in eighty four, you
know what I mean? Or or or all the all
the materials that they were using back then. And Brett
(23:31):
one more time, just because he's never got this much exposure.
Who invented peanut butter? Again? His name was Marcellis Edson
and it was in Montreal, Canada, Marcellis Edson representing Matreal.
And why do I have the feeling that like you
just you just like you just Wikipedia that right before
you walked into the school. Um, no, I had it
in my back pocket. All right, there it is. I
(23:51):
had the argument because you listen, Dan is very predictable.
He's gonna go. He thinks he's eating things in its
purest form, like, for instance, well, my grandmother would put
sugar to get rid of the odda if in a
in a grave. Right, yeah, we're adding sugar, but there's
a reason for it, like you know. Yeah. First of all,
I was like, I also have can I just speak
(24:13):
on behalf of all the listeners to say how we impressed,
how impressed we are that Breton knows how to use Wikipedia,
because that is a shocker to us all And well,
you know what, don't you throw that canary in the
coal mine out there twice? I don't even know what
the hell that means? What does it happen? What does
it mean? Where did to Richard Blaze at two? No,
(24:37):
I just I love the I love the canary in
the coal mind. Um, you would think that that might
be like the processed peanut butter. That's the canary. In
Dan's defense, you know, birthday cake in its natural form
was supposed to just be flour and natural eggs. It's
birthday came you know what peanut butter falls in that?
Can I assure you? When may I us judge Blaze
(25:02):
rebuttals coming right now, Dan, Dan, thank you also for um,
you know, playing by the rules in this court, requesting
time the court. Yes, a quick sidebar here is Dan?
Do you have on set? Did did you get the
organic like peanut crusher peanut butter maker? I don't know
(25:22):
that we are We're we're famous enough actors in the
show to start making those requests. Maybe next season. I
don't know. I might say give me, although I did.
I did ask for a juicer on the set of
the crew I needed there. You listen, First of all,
you deserve it, and second of all, you know you
(25:44):
never get what you don't ask for. So there we go.
Go for the organic peanut crush. Your next, Dan, you'll
have a rebuttal. Now it's two minutes in this battle
of organic peanut peanut butter versus the peanut butter that
most of us grew up with, Dan, your rebuttal starts. Now,
First of all, bread, that was a very spirited argument.
But what you made up in spirit you lacked in intelligence,
(26:11):
because what is true here is that whoever the hell
that from Montreal was what's his what's his name? He
was originally it's my turn, not yours, But what's his name?
Marcellis Marcella's Edson. Okay, I assure you that Marcellus Edson,
(26:35):
being from Montreal back in the eighteen hundreds, was not
putting in the ten grams of sugar per each tablespoon
of peanut butter, which I'm sure is what the ratio
is now. The ratios were completely off now compared to
what they were. Sure there were some sugar. Okay, fine,
(26:55):
I'll grant you that, but to tell you the truth,
there's no way that it tasted as sweet as it
does now. And also, Brett, you keep bringing up this
thing of oh, if it has peanuts, so it's peanut butter,
it's got Guess what if someone said a banana milkshake
at the time is only a banana milkshake if it
(27:16):
has bananas in it. Guess what that means that if
I took a piss in that banana milkshake, it's still
a banana milkshake. But guess I don't think you'd want
to drink that banana milkshake. Would you know you wouldn't? Okay,
So don't use your little statistics and ratios to to
to to try to to try to take away from
what is an epic problem here, which is the canary
(27:40):
of the coal mine. Oh god, that is that way.
Hold let me just let me just stick the dismountain here,
the canaryan coal mine. That is that we need to
get more. I that organic peanut butter is closer to
what Marcel Marcellus Wallace or whatever the hell his name
was wanted in an accident. You got it your beaned again?
(28:02):
There it is, throwing it down for what forever will
now be known as banana milkshake logic. I love it that. Hey, Hey,
I mean thank you, Dan, thank you, thank you the
banana milkshake logic. Hey, it could be pure, but hey,
(28:24):
you throw ten percent of garbage in it, or in
this case, you piss in your banana milkshake? How does
that make it feel? But does anyone else out there
right now we keep talking about this gentleman Marcellus Edson
from Montreal, does anyone else want to mix maple syrup
and peanut butter right now I'm like, is that something
that like, No, you can't do that, Richard. That was
not peanut butter and its original intention. Brett, you have
(28:47):
now two minutes to let Dan know why organic crunchy
peanut butter isn't as good as smooth old Jiffy or Skippy,
and go ahead two minutes. I don't think it's more
about the front she in the smooth as much as
First of all, if your argument is about health, you
shouldn't be eating peanut butter anyways. Okay. Second of all,
the piss argument is stupid because this is not an
(29:09):
original ingredient in a banana milk shape. Okay, sugar has
always been in peanut butter. What I'm saying to you
is that when it was created, it was created as
not to be healthy. It was never in its just
pure form. It's awful. It's awful. Jiffy and Skippy. If
(29:29):
you want to debate which one is better, if tasting,
than then you know that's that's a whole other debate.
But the peanut butter that we grew up on, with
the bread that you have with the jelly, it's its
own thing. It's not meant to be anything but that
and that is why it is so good and it's
better than organic. If we're talking health, then you shouldn't
(29:50):
be eating the peanut. I'm not just yes, but you
keep bringing up health. Okay, you shouldn't be eating it anyway.
It's just if you're worried about your health. Although it
does have high protein and I put it in my
protein shakes, but you know that's beside the point. Brett.
Let's let's talk about texture a little bit there, because
this is gonna help me frame my decision. Though. You said,
(30:11):
like you don't have any problem with crunchy peanut butter.
But when I think of like standard peanut butter, I
think of this ultra smooth, homogenized paste. Right. That's easy
to spread your thoughts on texture if you research it.
It was originally a spread. It was never you know,
it's not it was. It was supposed to be that,
That's what I'm saying. Oh, if you research it, like
(30:34):
you're like you're an anthropologist at Harvard. You looked at
three minutes, if you if you Okay, there's a whole
website devoted to this. Yeahsts out there and all of
them agree. Choosy moms all agree. No, no, no, this
(31:01):
of it Like look, when I was a kid, there's
nothing more. And I still do it now. Is I
like to put the peanut butter on wonder bread, not
on Artesian bread, right on on the crappy bread that
the crappy peanut butter goes on with with and then
I put it in the milk that that that that
(31:22):
is you know, got the hormones in it. And that's
what I've been eating since I was a kid, and
that's the taste that I like. And that's why it's better.
It's better tasting if you're eating it every day, then
you have an organic argument. But if it's a treat,
or if it's something that it's a comfort food or
something that you want to do, then then it's perfectly fine.
(31:42):
Then it defeats its purpose. Well clearly an impassioned argument.
This whole court rooms out of water. You both have
a real talent at dragging out at arguments. And trust me,
I mean that as a compliment. But I need to
take a quick minute to decide your fate. I'm gonna
(32:03):
go head on over to my chambers right off screen here.
I just just quickly, I I just before we get
out of here. I just want to say, if listeners,
if you pay attention to the last thing he said
was it's just the way that I used to have
it as a kid. That's just the way we do it.
That's just the way we do it. You know who
else use that argument, Nazis when they justified the things
(32:23):
they did. I was just following orders. It's just the
way things were, That's how we do things. Okay, So Richard,
keep in mind, you know, as a Jewish man, I
just hope that you that that argument rings true to you.
The Hail Mary passed there at the end, I will
retire to my chambers and I will be back with
(32:45):
a verdict right after this break. Okay, we are back,
and I'm pretty sure that I've made up my mind.
I've taken a lot of time to deliberate, about nineteen seconds,
I think, and before I do deliver my verdict, you'll
(33:06):
have about one minute to let us know there anything
else you'd like to say? What do you want to
leave me and the court with before I decide? Brett Um,
you know, when when again, peanut butter, the way it
is the Jeffy peanut Butter. What I'm saying is when
I get when I get a quarter pounder with cheese,
I'm not gonna go, oh, I wanna healthy hamburger. I'm
(33:28):
just going to get McDonald's or whatever it is. It
is same thing with Kentucky fried chicken. I was surprised
that even use chicken, but it doesn't matter. I'm going
for that specific taste, and that's the taste that you know.
I'm sure there's better, healthier chicken out there, but that's
Kentucky fried chicken. That's the taste we're going forward that
what we know so so so so Brett. To wrap
(33:50):
it up, you regular peanut butter taste better than organic
peanut butter all day. Everybody would agree with that. I
would not not, Perhaps, Dan, Dan, what do you want
to leave this chord with? Okay, I will say this.
I will say this. I used to be like bread, okay,
a simple person with simple tastes and a simple little brain.
(34:10):
But what happened was I opened my mind and I
used to love that Jiffy peanut butter. I used to
love the sweet stuff, and I hated the organic stuff initially,
and now I can't stand the sweet stuff because it
just tastes cloin lee sweet, and the organic stuff tastes
sweet enough to me Where I get that true, the
treat part of me is satiated. Yet I also get
(34:34):
a real product that's not fake. For lack of a
better term, peanut Dan, real quick, what about texture? When
you have this organic peanut butter. If you ever opened
up the jar, it's like three inches of some oil. Yeh,
gotta like, let's not talk about that, Richard, Let's not
get into that. But but texturally, you you like the
(34:57):
crunchy aspect of it and all the bits and pieces.
I want it to rip my gums into pieces. Okay,
I wanted to be I wanted to I want to
have to go to the dentist after eating my peanut butter.
I want to have to go to the periodontist. That's
what I want. That's how I want Freddy Krueger's hands.
And so why don't you just eat peanuts, Dan, dude?
(35:19):
So there we go one one one. Dan is going
to the dentist because he's ripping up his mouth with
the raw peanuts. Bread's going because his peanuts mostly sugar.
I've never had a cat in my life. By the way,
Richard on everything. I've never had a cavity in my
life coming in after Dan, how many of you have?
I think we're done this court, Yes, order in the
(35:42):
court the epic throwdown. We've been waiting I don't know,
three seasons, thirty something episodes to have a debate about
peanut butter, organic peanut butter on Dan side versus regular
smooth peanut butter. Although it doesn't have to be smooth,
is what Bread said a classic debate, Dan letting us
know that that's the way it's supposed to be until
the nineteen fifties when everything got screwed up with sugars
(36:06):
and stabilizers and corporate America, and we should just be
eating grains in a bowl with milk from a cow,
right from the cow. It's nostalgia versus the modern times.
It's banana milkshake logic. I actually really really liked Bread
coming through with perhaps the only researched fact of the day,
(36:26):
that there is a man in Montreal who invented peanut butter,
and it's always had sugar in it, tapped from a
maple tree, probably originally somewhere up there in Quebec, and
it comes down to a simple fact which should always
be taken into consideration when we're talking about food, and
that is what tastes better. And this court decides in
(36:48):
favor of regular old peanut butter. Right, yes, that means
you and Marcella's ed Sin have one the great peanut
butter debates. Hey, Dan, dot me a favor. Why don't
you go tell that canary in the coal mine? What? What?
What the decision was? This is a sad day for
(37:10):
that canary who's now going to die of high blood
pressure and diabetes because he's gonna be having regular old
peanut butter. So if you're out there raising canaries, don't
feed them peanut butter. They won't be able to chirp
in the coal mine because the peanut butter will be
sticking to the roof of their mouths. Gentlemen, thank you
so much for hanging out with us. For more, Dan
(37:31):
and Brett together, you can watch Cobra Kai on Netflix
like My Family is doing right now. But more Dan,
please check out his podcast Green Eggs and Dan wherever
you get your podcasts, and on Twitter and Instagram at
Stand Up Dan For more Brett Bret, what are you
up to? Lately. If you want, just go to Brett
Comedy Brett with one T Comedy dot com and you
can follow me there. And if you're a Dallas Cowboy fan,
(37:53):
we do a podcast once a week on the sp
Nation called the Jersey Boys Podcast. Oh I like it.
I'm not a Cowboy fan. I am a Tony Romo fan.
He is just like us, rushing the game. Listen everyone,
what do you think, audience? Did I get it wrong?
I know if you think I got it all wrong
and Dan thinks that as well, or did I get
it right? What kind of peanut butter do you prefer?
(38:14):
You can find me across social media at Richard Blaze
and find the podcast on Instagram at food Court Pod.
Let us know what your thoughts are. Food Court is
a production of I Heart Radio. I'm Richard Blaze. My
producer is Crystal Fact. Mahi food Court was created by
our executive producer, Christopher Hasiotis. The rest of my food
Court clerks are David Wasserman and Jasmine Blaze. The theme
(38:34):
song is by Jason Ne Smith. For more podcast from
My Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite show. Thank you
so much for hanging out with us and giving us
your time today. Thank you
Creamy, creamy, crunchy food Court, food Court, food Court, Blaze.
Are you in the food court, Blase Cross already it
(00:37):
is started. Welcome to the food Court of production of
I Heart Radio. This is food Court and I'm Richard Blaze.
I'm a chef, a human and most importantly, i am
a judge today and I'm very excited to get into
it and judge these two guests we have with us today.
Joining us in the court, we have the host of
the Green Eggs and Dan podcast, a comedian, actor and
writer who has been all over TV, concluding the crew
(01:01):
on Netflix. It's Dan at Hoot. Thank you so much, Richard.
It's a pleasure to be here. I've always been a
huge fan of yours and this is quite the honor
for me. Those things work very well in this court.
Flatterly can get you someplace and here to take on.
Dan is actually his cast mate on the hit show
Cobra Kai, where he does most of the heavy lifting
(01:23):
at Daniel Larusso's evil car dealership. Spoiler alert, it's Brett Ernst. Hey,
what's up, buddy. Yeah, Dan plays my sidekick, you know,
he's my Robin. Trying not to spoil it, even though listen, everyone,
I'm in the middle of the run, so you know,
like halfway through the series. No spoilers for me if
(01:43):
I like, I like to think of myself more as
your Michelle Obama. Okay, okay, I'll take that. Okay, now listen.
I know you both have a case you've brought into
the court today. But before we get into the actual case,
there's something that I ask lots of guests on this show,
but I think it's really really pertinent to the two
of you, who who are on set together frequently. What
(02:04):
is the crafty situation at Cobra Kai. What is going
on at the crafty table on set? Actually, I think
we have a great crafty situation. We shoot in Atlanta,
so there's a lot of Southern influence and the food
that we have. But it's also like impossible to maintain
a healthy weight while you're on set because you're like,
(02:25):
just have has lunch and then like twenty minutes later,
they're like, alright, guys, it's a Cuban sandwich time and
they just roll out like a cart of Cuban sandwiches.
It's it's very difficult, but the food is is awesome
and you know the thing that craft services is like
stuff I'm eating that I would never even think of eating.
Like I'm just so look yogurt covered pretzels. You know,
(02:45):
It's just there's so many things on there that I
would never eat in a million years, but because it's there,
I'm eating it. But the food is phenomenal. We've got great,
great food trucks there and there is there's always something
going on. Yeah. Well that's when you know the show
is doing well when like the food truck element of
it shows up, or even the crafty chef like you
said at four pm is like I made chilled cucumber
(03:06):
soup right like now we're getting another season, Guys show exactly.
But but it is he is right. I mean, it's
a big Southern influence, and you know one thing down
there that they're not really concerned about health as much
as they are with you know, the taste of things,
so you can you can gain a lot of weight
if you don't be careful. Yeah, I mean, I'm in
(03:27):
southern California now, but I lived in Atlanta for a
number of years, and you know you can mix cheese
with with mayonnaise and that that's a salad. Basically absolutely
don't knock pimento cheese, by the way, And you're right
about the craft like mine is like usually if you know,
you get that like the cereal bar at the crafty table,
like I've never had fruity pebbles only when I'm on
(03:49):
set only And you know, like I said, there's so
many things that you would never eat otherwise. I'm curious
eat fruity pebbles and cocoa pebbles like it's going out
of style mixed Richard, I'm curious, like back in the
day on Top Chef, what was the craft was the crafty?
Would you guys just be like sitting around the crafty
and just like food together or well one I think
(04:10):
the first lesson, right, like like you learn as a
chef is to you know, you gotta turn off that
like I critique everyone else's food. You can't be that
person that's doing it. But you know, as a competitor,
because I've you know, unfortunately been on so many renditions
now of the show. And here's what I will tell you.
As a judge, you eat all the crafty and you
eat all the competitors food, and you gained I gained
(04:32):
at least ten pounds two months in this How is
that how you gained all that weight in your hat?
It is trying to impress you. You've got a great
head of hair. Man, You've got a great head of hair.
Don't suffocates a podcast, no one can see the hair well,
but they will eventually in the clips. Yeah, you know,
(04:54):
but I think that is part of it, isn't there?
There there's sort of like podcast like fat like like
totally underdress for your podcast, almost intentionally actually because of
this episode. That's why right now I'm naked only covering
my Nether regions with organic peanut butter. What's there? It is?
What's Nether Regions? Dropping the segue right into it, Dan,
(05:18):
tell us a little bit more about yourself. Well, what
made you with all of the things that you do,
all the talent you have? What made you get into
the food podcast? You know? And how dare? I'm sorry,
but I love you. Know as a comedian, there aren't
that many comedians were passionate about food. I'm super passionate
about food, and I always wanted to meld those two
(05:39):
parts of my life. So I thought of having an
interview show where I can interview celebrities and just make
the conversation about food. So it's all celebrities and Brett
Brett was also on an episode, so it's not just celebrities.
We have other people too, But Brett's episode was really
really fun, and in general people have been loving the podcast,
so it's been very fun to I'm bind those two worlds. Oh,
(06:01):
I love it. I'd like to be on the podcast
I have. I have no shame in sort of like
trying to cast you're in. I would love to have
and to paint the picture a little bit if it's
signed Fell but without the fancy car. Well, you agreed
to being on already, so I can tell you exactly
what we do. First of all, you and I get
on a slipping slide together. No, it's a yeah, it's
exactly like that. And every episode starts with a picture
(06:23):
of the inside of the guests fridge, so we kind
of roast your fridge for everyone to see, and then
we get into a fun conversation about food. Oh, I
like it. Dan, You've never been on a slipping slide
until you've been on a liquid nitrogen slip. That's all
I'm saying. It's all I'm saying, Cobra Kai next season,
come see me for a little fun after hours entertainment. Brett,
(06:44):
what about you? What kind of food were you eating
growing up? I mean all Italian buddy, every every day,
every Sunday. You know, it's it's really hard. I was
telling my friend about this. It's like you grow up
with this. This just amazing food. It's all it is
is food. Like even Christmas Eve is seven fishes. We
(07:04):
just eat. All we do is eat, eat, eat. So
you know, I'm not a foodie. I'm not a foodie
guy because I grew up around like authentic food. I
can't explain it. Well, I can't explain it for you
where you grew up where I grew up in New Jersey,
and then I went to high school in South Florida. Okay,
I was gonna say, I'm a I'm a Long Island boy,
(07:25):
and so like Jersey, New York, Philly, it's all right,
it's all it's all the same. So like real like
Italian food, real food. You're eating, you know, chicken palm,
and well you can't eat any like you know, it's weird.
It's like, you know, by the way, I went to
c W post, which is stop trying to kiss up
to the judge. I grew up in grand Okay, you
(07:45):
have your chance to talk, Dan, You had your chance. No,
I have been on the post. It's not if they
don't call it c W anymore. Do they know it's
now it's Long Island University and we're not the pioneers.
I think that they're sharks or something now. But anyways, yeah, no,
you know, man, but it's not just chicken parm like
you know, it's it's a lot of my grandmother. You know,
(08:05):
there's a lot of Italian food that isn't really glamorized,
you know, like the safrita, like the pig intestines, and
there's some stuff that's a little gross, you know, tripe,
you know what I mean. Definite, But they're telling me
Nona was making tripe. Oh yeah, my stepfather made it
all the time. But when you eat it, it tastes great,
but if you smell it cooking, it smells like somebody
(08:25):
piste all over the house. Yeah, wet dog. I think
is out a lot of people terrible Alright, listen, obviously
strong opinions on both sides, but Dan, please sum up
to the food court today. The case you've brought in
a sentence or so, I think that's organic peanut butter
is a canary in a coal mine for what is
(08:48):
wrong with the American diet. Okay, you's gave me one sentence.
You gave me one sentence. Yeah, no, I like so
so poetic, so poetic? You are you're are you? Are
you cutting down on on sugar? It's not about cutting
down on sugar. It's about taking things that tastes great
in their natural habitat and adding a lot of bullets
(09:11):
to them so that it's palatable to more people. But
in essence, what we're doing is we're making them addicted
to bad foods. Dude, stop all right. So you so
you're you're, you're taking the side of organic peanut butter.
And behind you is Gwyneth Paltrow and Tom Brady and
just like this whole just legion of people talking about health,
(09:33):
wellness and fit. You know, I'm always mentioned in the
same sentence as Tom Brady and going to Coultro. So
I'm glad that you just kept that traditional. Yeah you
all three of you wear ugg boots. Oh my god,
I'm actually wearing ug slippers. Now that's that's everything that compasses.
Go ahead. I'm sorry, No, no, I listen. I love it.
(09:54):
And the fact that you had the ug slipper right there,
that is just you. You guys know each other well,
so reret. Then I'm guessing that you are feel differently
about organic peanut butter. I'm just gonna say. His one
sentence just sums up with his canary and whatever he said.
His one sentence was as smug as his choice of
peanut butter. It's peanut butter. Okay. Some things are just
(10:17):
meant to be enjoyed. Again, It's its own thing, you know,
the organic nous of it has nothing to do with
Jiffy is Jiffy. It's its own thing. There it is, there,
it is. It's a comfort food. We're going to get
into it. This is the people versus the system. Who
knows it's style of our substance. I don't know, but
(10:37):
today is a special case for food court. Before we
get into the arguments here in food court, we like
to have a quick trivia around first, just like in
all courts, and the winner of the trivia around gets
to decide the order that you will present your arguments.
Brett what sound will you be using today to buzz in?
Do it? Yo? No? Yes, like that's like nostalgia for
(11:00):
me too. I'm I'm going back to Strong Island with
the yo from Brett. Dan, what is your sound? I
will be tapping my espresso cup. Oh my god, onto
my thought. This is perfect. Could be any worse of
a human being, Dan, any worse? It's a divide all
(11:21):
over the place. We gotta yo on one side, we
gotta tink any tink tap of the espresso cup on
the other side. Here we go, getting into the trivia
three questions. The first one is multiple choice. The British
famously find peanut butter repulsive. But there are actually two
countries that consume more peanut butter per capita than we
do in America. Which two countries are they? A India
(11:45):
and Thailand, be China and Australia see the Netherlands. And
that was rarely close. But it's gonna be the yo
on Brett's side. I gotta go with Australia and I
gotta go with China. The answer of Australia and China
that was the wrong alright, So Dan, yeah, gaveling in
(12:15):
the court, Brett you'll appreciate that my gavel is a
noki roller. I mean, Dan, you'll appreciate it too, because Dan,
you're probably enjoying white truffle nochi in your espresso somewhere
and you know it bro there there it is, so listen.
Here's here's the interesting thing. This doesn't happened before the
answer is Brett got the answer wrong, but because Dan
jumped in and no one even asked him, he also
got the answer wrong. No zero points will be awarded
(12:40):
the answers. The Netherlands and Canada, India and China actually
consume the most peanuts, but not very much peanut butter.
So kind of a tricky question right there, No one
gets the points, which means it's anyone's game. Question two,
This question is troubling. But to legally label the spread
peanut butter, it must contain what percentage of peanuts closest
(13:03):
to the answer will be correct percentage of yo. That's
Brett again early on the buzzer. I'm gonna have to
go with five five percent. We'll let Dan take this one,
see if he can get closer. Are we doing prices right? Rules? Okay,
it's just without going over I'm gonna say six percent.
(13:24):
Six Only someone with an espresso cup taking he takes
sound is gonna come in with six percent over five percent. Dan,
you are correct. The answer is. First of all, you
have no faith in our labeling system here, obviously because
the answer is guys. Oh really, I thought it was
going to be as well. No, I I agree, but
(13:45):
the answer is ninety, which gives me a little I
have some faith to say something right now. With that
bit of knowledge, I might use that to arm myself
because if it's has to be in order to be jiffy,
peanut butter has to have peanuts center, right. Wow, Brett,
that's you don't have to reveal your argument up front,
but I do that you're gonna use that. You're right,
(14:05):
there has to be some a high percentage of peanuts
in there. So technically that means Dan got the answer right.
He's up one zero heading into the third question, and
luckily for Brett, the third question is worth nineteen points.
So this is for the win in the trivia around
who howevery gets it? We'll get it right? Question three?
(14:26):
What to Malia Obama? Kelly Clarkson, Bill Hayter, and Serena
Williams all have in common. That is Brett's quick on
the buzzer, quickest in the game. They're allergic to peanuts,
and Brett's as talented in so many things. Obviously trivia
is one of them. They are all allergic to peanuts.
(14:48):
And also you also gotta love the strategy that when
you do a sound I feel like Brett, you might
say yo a lot, just like normal normally, and that
works quick on the buzzer, Brett. That means that you
have won our trivia around. Dan can take a sip
of espresso. Now, Brett, do you want to decide you
(15:08):
want to argue first or second. I'm gonna go second.
All right, You're gonna take the home team approach. Uh,
and you're gonna go second. That means that Dan, you're
gonna argue first. But before we get I'm sorry really quick.
In football, I would defer to the second half, but
you know I'd have to explain that to you. I
just did. And food, it's as if you're having your
(15:32):
dessert before your main course, because here comes a little
bit of sweetness. Guys. There we go. Time to get
into our arguments. But before that, let's take a quick
break and we are back to recap. Today in the
(15:53):
food court, we have the case of two peanut butters.
Dan loves organic peanut butter, while Brett is sticking by
the old standbys like Skippy and Jeff and Peter Pan
or whatever it is. The way this works is that
each of you will have three minutes to state your case.
During this three minutes, you need to lay out your
case and not focus on your opponent's case. I'm really
(16:14):
emphasizing this for this crew here. I feel like you're
gonna want to go at each other, But the first
three minutes is just to discuss the merits of why
your thing is better than the other. After the three minutes,
you'll have two minutes of a rebuttal uh. Brett won
the trivia. He's decided that Dan will present first. Dan
(16:34):
you ready, Yes, I am. Thank you so much, Judge Richard,
And if I may say, I think you're doing a
fine job. Well, thank you so much. Dan. I appreciate it.
Your time starts now. Peanut butter. You think it's just
a benign little thing that you put on your toast, No,
as I said before, it is a canary in the
(16:55):
coal mine of awful things to come out peanut butter.
You hear the word organic peanut butter and it sounds
pretentious to you. No, it shouldn't sound pretentious. What I
mean is peanut butter the way that it's meant to taste,
the way that it always tasted throughout history, up until
(17:15):
the nineteen fifties, when it was taken and turbo charged
with sugar and stabilizers and things that made it creamy
and fawn and sweet. We've done this to so many
other foods that we don't even realize we are. We've
been red billed. We don't even know that we're eating
fake versions of what the actual thing is. Okay, Cereals
(17:39):
used to just be a bowl of grains with milk.
Now it's something with colors of the rainbow and and
snaps and crackles and pops. We don't need those things, guys.
We need to go back to a simpler time, back
to a time when we foods tasted the way that
we're supposed to taste. Okay, And it's hell fear for
(18:00):
us too. We're bombarding ourselves with sugar and sodium and
processed both because we want to get away from what
might be subtle flavors and we just want to, you know,
get get smacked up in the mouth with our taste
but explosions all the time. Hey guys, you don't want
to listen to a Nirvana album all the time. Sometimes
(18:21):
you just want some classical music. But this jeff Jeffy
peanut butter is a is a sign of the times.
It's it's like you're listening to Nirvana your taste buzz
and I'm not here for it. I'm here for things
to go back to the natural way that they were
supposed to taste. Here it is. What was a wine
glass to signify the end of a round is now
(18:42):
an egg topp or because I broke that wine glass,
dan Anti sugar. Perhaps I don't know if that's really
come out. But do you enjoy jelly with your peanut butter?
I do. I love jelly, but also also I think
jellies most jellies have about double the amount of sugar
they need to have in the sugar. The sugar in
(19:03):
fruit is wonderful on its on its own. We don't
need to enhance these things so much. Maybe you can.
Maybe you should shut up because I'm still talking and
now I yield my time to Judge Richard. Definitely, there's
a rant on sugar and stabilizers mentioning grain. Have you
(19:24):
ever had grape nuts? Dand as a cereal? Have you
ever tried to eat grape nuts? I have? I have?
Do you enjoyed them? You know, I don't because I've
been so accustomed to, you know, crappy cereal. But I'm
sure that in tens if you ask ten year old Billy,
the Amish kid, he'd be like, of course, I love
grape nut. That's my Sunday treat. I love it fair enough,
(19:49):
and I don't know. Also, the last comment there on
your opening is have you ever listened to like Nirvana acoustic? Like?
I mean, you can still listen to Nirvana acoustics, can't you? Absolutely?
And essence, I think that, Look, I think it's okay
to sometimes have your Nirvana and sometimes have your not
your Nirvana acoustic, But sometimes you just want to you
just want to have some cool jazz. A strong argument
(20:11):
to be had there for organic peanut butter. Brett, You'll
have three minutes to let us know why you know
your standard old regular basic peanut butter is better. Your
three minutes start now, Well, you know, there's a big
misconception that peanut butter was originally meant to be eaten organically.
First of all, it was invented in eighty four in
Canada by a dude name Marcellus Edson, and it has
(20:34):
always contained salt, sweeteners, and emulsive fires. What what, what
is very annoying to me is that people tend to
read define things in today's terms from what it was it.
The presumption that it never had sweeteners in it is
absolute rubbish. Okay, as the British would say, you know,
(20:56):
he keeps talking about sugar. Maybe we should take sugar.
How was candy originally supposed to be without sugar? It
is what it is. Peanut butter is what it is.
It's a comfort food. It's a spread, all right, of
all of it. It contains peanuts, which we just learned
that today. So this idea that it was peanut butters
(21:19):
meant to be in its natural form, I hate to
break it to you, Dan, but with the sweet nurse
and with the salt, and with the emosifiers, it's actually
in its natural form the way God intended it to be,
or Marcellus Edson did when he invented it back in
four So when I'm a kid and I'm eating Jiffy
(21:41):
peanut butter, it's that's the taste you. I don't have
a taste for organic peanut butter. Jiffy is Jiffy, Skippy
is Skippy. That is what you have a taste for.
It's a comfort food, just like I'm gonna eat a
Milky Way or I'm gonna eat a Snickers. Is there
is there an organic version of a Snickers bar or
an organic version of Charleston chew? Maybe there's organic good
(22:02):
in plenties. I'm eating it the way God intended it
to eat it. Okay, stop putting and injecting the smugness
into everything. Do you eat nortella? And it's perfect natella
form of just the pure natla. It is what it
is and and that's the way it was, and that's
why people love it, and that's what that's what people crave.
(22:26):
All Right, there we go, bread throwing it down, bread,
just real quick. On the texture? Did God intend it
as you're saying, to be so ultra smooth? I mean,
do peanuts when they come off their plants, are they
are they smooth inside of their listen. The peanut is
the way God intended it. The peanut butter is the
way Marcellus Edson intended it. And it's supposed to be smooth.
(22:49):
It's not. It's not in its natural form. The many
you take it out and you throw it in a blender,
you're adding sugar and whatever you're adding to it. It's
not meant to be it's its own food. Like where
when in the world did peanut butter the prerequisite have
to be it's pure. It was never made that way.
So we're eating it the way it was originally made,
(23:10):
in a plastic container with a lid on it. I
would say, how about this, how about this? I bet
that plastic is way more healthier than than that rusted
lidjar that they were using back in eighty four, you
know what I mean? Or or or all the all
the materials that they were using back then. And Brett
(23:31):
one more time, just because he's never got this much exposure.
Who invented peanut butter? Again? His name was Marcellis Edson
and it was in Montreal, Canada, Marcellis Edson representing Matreal.
And why do I have the feeling that like you
just you just like you just Wikipedia that right before
you walked into the school. Um, no, I had it
in my back pocket. All right, there it is. I
(23:51):
had the argument because you listen, Dan is very predictable.
He's gonna go. He thinks he's eating things in its
purest form, like, for instance, well, my grandmother would put
sugar to get rid of the odda if in a
in a grave. Right, yeah, we're adding sugar, but there's
a reason for it, like you know. Yeah. First of all,
I was like, I also have can I just speak
(24:13):
on behalf of all the listeners to say how we impressed,
how impressed we are that Breton knows how to use Wikipedia,
because that is a shocker to us all And well,
you know what, don't you throw that canary in the
coal mine out there twice? I don't even know what
the hell that means? What does it happen? What does
it mean? Where did to Richard Blaze at two? No,
(24:37):
I just I love the I love the canary in
the coal mind. Um, you would think that that might
be like the processed peanut butter. That's the canary. In
Dan's defense, you know, birthday cake in its natural form
was supposed to just be flour and natural eggs. It's
birthday came you know what peanut butter falls in that?
Can I assure you? When may I us judge Blaze
(25:02):
rebuttals coming right now, Dan, Dan, thank you also for um,
you know, playing by the rules in this court, requesting
time the court. Yes, a quick sidebar here is Dan?
Do you have on set? Did did you get the
organic like peanut crusher peanut butter maker? I don't know
(25:22):
that we are We're we're famous enough actors in the
show to start making those requests. Maybe next season. I
don't know. I might say give me, although I did.
I did ask for a juicer on the set of
the crew I needed there. You listen, First of all,
you deserve it, and second of all, you know you
(25:44):
never get what you don't ask for. So there we go.
Go for the organic peanut crush. Your next, Dan, you'll
have a rebuttal. Now it's two minutes in this battle
of organic peanut peanut butter versus the peanut butter that
most of us grew up with, Dan, your rebuttal starts. Now,
First of all, bread, that was a very spirited argument.
But what you made up in spirit you lacked in intelligence,
(26:11):
because what is true here is that whoever the hell
that from Montreal was what's his what's his name? He
was originally it's my turn, not yours, But what's his name?
Marcellis Marcella's Edson. Okay, I assure you that Marcellus Edson,
(26:35):
being from Montreal back in the eighteen hundreds, was not
putting in the ten grams of sugar per each tablespoon
of peanut butter, which I'm sure is what the ratio
is now. The ratios were completely off now compared to
what they were. Sure there were some sugar. Okay, fine,
(26:55):
I'll grant you that, but to tell you the truth,
there's no way that it tasted as sweet as it
does now. And also, Brett, you keep bringing up this
thing of oh, if it has peanuts, so it's peanut butter,
it's got Guess what if someone said a banana milkshake
at the time is only a banana milkshake if it
(27:16):
has bananas in it. Guess what that means that if
I took a piss in that banana milkshake, it's still
a banana milkshake. But guess I don't think you'd want
to drink that banana milkshake. Would you know you wouldn't? Okay,
So don't use your little statistics and ratios to to
to to try to to try to take away from
what is an epic problem here, which is the canary
(27:40):
of the coal mine. Oh god, that is that way.
Hold let me just let me just stick the dismountain here,
the canaryan coal mine. That is that we need to
get more. I that organic peanut butter is closer to
what Marcel Marcellus Wallace or whatever the hell his name
was wanted in an accident. You got it your beaned again?
(28:02):
There it is, throwing it down for what forever will
now be known as banana milkshake logic. I love it that. Hey, Hey,
I mean thank you, Dan, thank you, thank you the
banana milkshake logic. Hey, it could be pure, but hey,
(28:24):
you throw ten percent of garbage in it, or in
this case, you piss in your banana milkshake? How does
that make it feel? But does anyone else out there
right now we keep talking about this gentleman Marcellus Edson
from Montreal, does anyone else want to mix maple syrup
and peanut butter right now I'm like, is that something
that like, No, you can't do that, Richard. That was
not peanut butter and its original intention. Brett, you have
(28:47):
now two minutes to let Dan know why organic crunchy
peanut butter isn't as good as smooth old Jiffy or Skippy,
and go ahead two minutes. I don't think it's more
about the front she in the smooth as much as
First of all, if your argument is about health, you
shouldn't be eating peanut butter anyways. Okay. Second of all,
the piss argument is stupid because this is not an
(29:09):
original ingredient in a banana milk shape. Okay, sugar has
always been in peanut butter. What I'm saying to you
is that when it was created, it was created as
not to be healthy. It was never in its just
pure form. It's awful. It's awful. Jiffy and Skippy. If
(29:29):
you want to debate which one is better, if tasting,
than then you know that's that's a whole other debate.
But the peanut butter that we grew up on, with
the bread that you have with the jelly, it's its
own thing. It's not meant to be anything but that
and that is why it is so good and it's
better than organic. If we're talking health, then you shouldn't
(29:50):
be eating the peanut. I'm not just yes, but you
keep bringing up health. Okay, you shouldn't be eating it anyway.
It's just if you're worried about your health. Although it
does have high protein and I put it in my
protein shakes, but you know that's beside the point. Brett.
Let's let's talk about texture a little bit there, because
this is gonna help me frame my decision. Though. You said,
(30:11):
like you don't have any problem with crunchy peanut butter.
But when I think of like standard peanut butter, I
think of this ultra smooth, homogenized paste. Right. That's easy
to spread your thoughts on texture if you research it.
It was originally a spread. It was never you know,
it's not it was. It was supposed to be that,
That's what I'm saying. Oh, if you research it, like
(30:34):
you're like you're an anthropologist at Harvard. You looked at
three minutes, if you if you Okay, there's a whole
website devoted to this. Yeahsts out there and all of
them agree. Choosy moms all agree. No, no, no, this
(31:01):
of it Like look, when I was a kid, there's
nothing more. And I still do it now. Is I
like to put the peanut butter on wonder bread, not
on Artesian bread, right on on the crappy bread that
the crappy peanut butter goes on with with and then
I put it in the milk that that that that
(31:22):
is you know, got the hormones in it. And that's
what I've been eating since I was a kid, and
that's the taste that I like. And that's why it's better.
It's better tasting if you're eating it every day, then
you have an organic argument. But if it's a treat,
or if it's something that it's a comfort food or
something that you want to do, then then it's perfectly fine.
(31:42):
Then it defeats its purpose. Well clearly an impassioned argument.
This whole court rooms out of water. You both have
a real talent at dragging out at arguments. And trust me,
I mean that as a compliment. But I need to
take a quick minute to decide your fate. I'm gonna
(32:03):
go head on over to my chambers right off screen here.
I just just quickly, I I just before we get
out of here. I just want to say, if listeners,
if you pay attention to the last thing he said
was it's just the way that I used to have
it as a kid. That's just the way we do it.
That's just the way we do it. You know who
else use that argument, Nazis when they justified the things
(32:23):
they did. I was just following orders. It's just the
way things were, That's how we do things. Okay, So Richard,
keep in mind, you know, as a Jewish man, I
just hope that you that that argument rings true to you.
The Hail Mary passed there at the end, I will
retire to my chambers and I will be back with
(32:45):
a verdict right after this break. Okay, we are back,
and I'm pretty sure that I've made up my mind.
I've taken a lot of time to deliberate, about nineteen seconds,
I think, and before I do deliver my verdict, you'll
(33:06):
have about one minute to let us know there anything
else you'd like to say? What do you want to
leave me and the court with before I decide? Brett Um,
you know, when when again, peanut butter, the way it
is the Jeffy peanut Butter. What I'm saying is when
I get when I get a quarter pounder with cheese,
I'm not gonna go, oh, I wanna healthy hamburger. I'm
(33:28):
just going to get McDonald's or whatever it is. It
is same thing with Kentucky fried chicken. I was surprised
that even use chicken, but it doesn't matter. I'm going
for that specific taste, and that's the taste that you know.
I'm sure there's better, healthier chicken out there, but that's
Kentucky fried chicken. That's the taste we're going forward that
what we know so so so so Brett. To wrap
(33:50):
it up, you regular peanut butter taste better than organic
peanut butter all day. Everybody would agree with that. I
would not not, Perhaps, Dan, Dan, what do you want
to leave this chord with? Okay, I will say this.
I will say this. I used to be like bread, okay,
a simple person with simple tastes and a simple little brain.
(34:10):
But what happened was I opened my mind and I
used to love that Jiffy peanut butter. I used to
love the sweet stuff, and I hated the organic stuff initially,
and now I can't stand the sweet stuff because it
just tastes cloin lee sweet, and the organic stuff tastes
sweet enough to me Where I get that true, the
treat part of me is satiated. Yet I also get
(34:34):
a real product that's not fake. For lack of a
better term, peanut Dan, real quick, what about texture? When
you have this organic peanut butter. If you ever opened
up the jar, it's like three inches of some oil. Yeh,
gotta like, let's not talk about that, Richard, Let's not
get into that. But but texturally, you you like the
(34:57):
crunchy aspect of it and all the bits and pieces.
I want it to rip my gums into pieces. Okay,
I wanted to be I wanted to I want to
have to go to the dentist after eating my peanut butter.
I want to have to go to the periodontist. That's
what I want. That's how I want Freddy Krueger's hands.
And so why don't you just eat peanuts, Dan, dude?
(35:19):
So there we go one one one. Dan is going
to the dentist because he's ripping up his mouth with
the raw peanuts. Bread's going because his peanuts mostly sugar.
I've never had a cat in my life. By the way,
Richard on everything. I've never had a cavity in my
life coming in after Dan, how many of you have?
I think we're done this court, Yes, order in the
(35:42):
court the epic throwdown. We've been waiting I don't know,
three seasons, thirty something episodes to have a debate about
peanut butter, organic peanut butter on Dan side versus regular
smooth peanut butter. Although it doesn't have to be smooth,
is what Bread said a classic debate, Dan letting us
know that that's the way it's supposed to be until
the nineteen fifties when everything got screwed up with sugars
(36:06):
and stabilizers and corporate America, and we should just be
eating grains in a bowl with milk from a cow,
right from the cow. It's nostalgia versus the modern times.
It's banana milkshake logic. I actually really really liked Bread
coming through with perhaps the only researched fact of the day,
(36:26):
that there is a man in Montreal who invented peanut butter,
and it's always had sugar in it, tapped from a
maple tree, probably originally somewhere up there in Quebec, and
it comes down to a simple fact which should always
be taken into consideration when we're talking about food, and
that is what tastes better. And this court decides in
(36:48):
favor of regular old peanut butter. Right, yes, that means
you and Marcella's ed Sin have one the great peanut
butter debates. Hey, Dan, dot me a favor. Why don't
you go tell that canary in the coal mine? What? What?
What the decision was? This is a sad day for
(37:10):
that canary who's now going to die of high blood
pressure and diabetes because he's gonna be having regular old
peanut butter. So if you're out there raising canaries, don't
feed them peanut butter. They won't be able to chirp
in the coal mine because the peanut butter will be
sticking to the roof of their mouths. Gentlemen, thank you
so much for hanging out with us. For more, Dan
(37:31):
and Brett together, you can watch Cobra Kai on Netflix
like My Family is doing right now. But more Dan,
please check out his podcast Green Eggs and Dan wherever
you get your podcasts, and on Twitter and Instagram at
Stand Up Dan For more Brett Bret, what are you
up to? Lately. If you want, just go to Brett
Comedy Brett with one T Comedy dot com and you
can follow me there. And if you're a Dallas Cowboy fan,
(37:53):
we do a podcast once a week on the sp
Nation called the Jersey Boys Podcast. Oh I like it.
I'm not a Cowboy fan. I am a Tony Romo fan.
He is just like us, rushing the game. Listen everyone,
what do you think, audience? Did I get it wrong?
I know if you think I got it all wrong
and Dan thinks that as well, or did I get
it right? What kind of peanut butter do you prefer?
(38:14):
You can find me across social media at Richard Blaze
and find the podcast on Instagram at food Court Pod.
Let us know what your thoughts are. Food Court is
a production of I Heart Radio. I'm Richard Blaze. My
producer is Crystal Fact. Mahi food Court was created by
our executive producer, Christopher Hasiotis. The rest of my food
Court clerks are David Wasserman and Jasmine Blaze. The theme
(38:34):
song is by Jason Ne Smith. For more podcast from
My Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite show. Thank you
so much for hanging out with us and giving us
your time today. Thank you
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